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#now the emptiness is getting to you huh
grandcovenant · 8 months
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who's pulling the strings of the puppet king?
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yeah so i'm falling for @weevmo's Guys... they're so neat! i dig their vibes and can't wait to see what Corduroy Stew is all about <3
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completeoveranalysis · 4 months
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[2]
OH! OK I didn’t see that coming! So when Mokona says that the big and little Sakuras have MERGED TOGETHER, she means that the Original Child “Sakura” that has been frozen in time since the moment she was cursed has now fused with the empty soulless body of her clone, the Sakura copy we’ve been following since Chapter 1?
So, “Not Sakura” and “Empty Body” Sakura are now one person?
WILD. 
I want to ask “But what does that mean?” but Kurogane has already beaten me to it and even Fai doesn’t know the answer.
YOU KNOW THE MAGIC IS COMPLETELY UNHINGED WHEN EVEN FAI DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. 
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autisticlee · 12 days
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"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"
cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!
if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?
#ive been trying to find “the right people” for like 25 years. im so tired of hearing “one day/eventually”#i need people now. i admit i need help!!! i cant do life alone!!! but ONE DAY is not NOW. im struggling now. not later#why is it always “keep trying because ONE DAY” and never “heres how to deal with it now and if one day never comes”#because NOT EVERYONE GET THEIR “ONE DAY” AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING GIVEN EMPTY PROMISES#AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING IGNORED AND DENIED HELP *NOW* BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO REPLY ON A HYPOTHETICAL “ONE DAY”#IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!#lee rants#what if the “one day” where people actually care isnt until theyre at my funeral huh? because ive seen it happen.#autistic#autism#actually autistic#social problems#social issues#social isolation#adult autism#adult friendships#autism support#autistic friendship#this has been bothering me. i think its called toxic positivity. people throw it at me and it makes me feel worse. stop 😭#and “it happened to me so that means it will happen for you!” no it doesnt!!!!! you had better luck/circumstances. i dont have what you did#it doesnt inspire me or give me hope. it makes me feel more hopeless others can do stuff and i cant.#people were willing to help you but not me? youre not willing to now help me? what else do i do?#especially when people tell me they struggled for a few years. im glad you haven't struggled your whole life like me#and i know youre trying to be nice. but it doesnt help im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭
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tariah23 · 2 months
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How do you have kids and don’t make them do chores. I’ll never get it, man. They grow up to be one of those ppl who’s never washed a single dish before and are usually dirty and of privilege mind. Parents essentially sending their usually annoying kids out into the world to be an even further nuisance just because they don’t know how to do simple, everyday chores when they are fully capable of doing so and are able bodied.
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suncaptor · 4 months
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yeah this cannot go on i need to take something like my chest is exploding i can't calm down it's 7am i feel insane insane insaneeeee
#though I HAVE successfully testing that ldn gives me an insane amount of (anxious) energy when i'm on a 3-4mg dose but then i get foggy and#empty at 4-5mg i think#i'm not sure if i should go down to like 2 or try to find the window between#i wish i just had like. a year to get meds right and heallllll so badly#but i can't afford going all the way down and having more relapses#i feel like i'm having aheart attack rn it's so bad it's so acutely painful#and it's so weird bc it's so empty#too like last month i was so full of everything and especially uh attachment fear but now it's just like pain empty screaming pain#i think it's the not eating food enough thing#i mean I DID eat MANY crackers today. rolls eyes#not enough hhh#i know theres so much i have to get done but like ic annot do anything i can't even message anyone i can't i need to get sedated#i don't know if i should try having MORE ldn or ritalin (probably not bc it doesn't sedate me like adderall)#or just hydroxyzine or muscle relaxers#hydroxyzine is looking like the most likely option#bc i still associate muscle relaxers too much with trauma i can't take them they scare me#i feel like i'm dying#i don't think you guys get how fast i'm typing rn like i am going fucking insane if i die of a heart attack for real it would suck huh#no i KNOW this is panic i KNOWWWW i'm panicking but i also feel like i'm going to throw up and die forever it's so bad i feel so so bad lik#i don't think people get how bad everything is i need it to all calm down and stop i need it to get better i am not okay holy shit#you know what everything in my life might not feel fixable and i am letting all my professors down but I can probably take incompletes wors#comes to worst i need to take hydroxzyine sleep and then cave and buy some food tomorrow#like what's happening now i#there FEELS like there's a SHAARP HOOOK in my CHEST IMAPLING ME#if i sedate myself enough i might be able to communicate with people for real instead of burrowing my head into the ground forever and ever#yeah okay i'm taking hydroxzyine#i feel like the problem with antihistamines now after last year is [redcated]#trying to convinc emyself this is not a suicide attempt or self harm i just need to calm down hahahahafih;aeifahe;wifahewifae#that's what they're PRESCRIBED for#i think i want benadryl instead though bc it's shorter and it also makes me head clearer i wonder if i have any i think it's not here thoug
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delicatetaysversion · 2 months
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just found out that instead of my mom my fucking shitass dad is coming home FOR A WEEK
#ugh i really want to kill someone rn im so mad#why can't he just fucking leave us alone#i know he used to be home 24/7/365 days just a year ago but istg it took us no time to adjust to life without him#now he comes home for like 2 days and my blood starts to boil i can't bear him he's so fucking irritating and interfering#mom coming home would have been relaxing finally burden free after 15 days#now the burden will be double tripled he's such a fucking lazy slob he can't even get his own glass of water#and he'll sleep in our room because it has ac UGHHHHHHHJHH it's so yuck i won't have a minute to myself and my mental health will decline#even MORE than it already has like if that's even possible#and he doesn't take his fucking meds so he's all weak and sick and lazy and he expects us to coddle him#well you know what fuck him im not even going to pretend to be happy that he's here or be nice to him and try to make him feel welcome#he broke this family up and it's going to stay broken up forever so fuck himmmm#and i have a freaking 750 ml bottle of vodka lying in my dresser what the fuck do i do with it now huh?????#it's only like 1/4th empty 3/4th is still full#and it's my sisters birthday on 26th and they'll both be here ugh i was sooo looking forward to actually celebrating with her#now she'll feel miserable and horrible and it'll be JUST like every other birthday she's spent at home#fucking grand#ugh god i sooo do not want to cook dinner for 4 people im so sick of this#and he isn't even satisfied with dinner he fucking eats like 4 times a day he wants a hot breakfast and lunch and evening snack and dinner#man i hope something happens to him and he isn't able to come🙏🙏 god if you're real 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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sencrose · 10 days
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oh. sometimes fic makes you remember huh
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narugen · 3 months
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okay if hoshina gets promoted to captain status in another division i will literally be so sad but it would be extremely fitting if he ends up nurturing a whole batch of recruits/an entire division through his kindness.. passing on the warmth that his captain showed him when they first met.. ough
#egg boils#also my own ship brain talking in tags now but he would Absolitely visit taxhikawa base numerous times just to hang out#in the end 3rd division will always be his HOME!!!!!!!!#GAWD IMAHINE THE PINING AND YEARNING. “i miss you#oh i’m crazy. actually.#mina not realizing how empty it feels without hoshina causing up a storm in the control rooms#also i’d assume by then kafka wld be vice captain here and it’s just not the same#no hate to kafka bc i do think with ch110 they’d be a stellar team but#he’s not hoshina!!!!#and kafka is fundamentally js a different person that provides her with a diff sense of comfort#mina missing hoshina. oh wow. amazing concept to me actually. i enjoy it#WAIT LET ME CONTINUE#KAFKA SEEING HER DOWN IN THE DUMPS AND IS LIKE MINA ARE YOU EVER GOING TO CONFESS HELLO?#you are 28 now !!!!!!!!!!!!?! he is no longer in ur division u don’t get to see him daily isn’t it just so sad and then in typical kafka#fashion he kinda starts crying For her like mina 😭😭😭😭 ur crush on vice captain (oh i guess it’s captain now huh) hoshina is soo obvious#WHY DIDJT U DO ANYTHING ABIUT IT#AND MINA IS JUST HUFFING LIKE IM COMMANDER OF THIS BASE I DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUY THAT????#and kafka is like But u obviously MISS HIM#AND SHES LIKE: THAT DOESNT MATTER I HAVE WORK TO DO#kafka shaking her shoulders: MINA!!!!!!!!#so he calls hoshina instead and is U need to come over NOW#and hoshina is like ???????? but he’s free????? sort of??? and he goes over. it’s like idk say 3 hours away but he Goes Anyway.#and mina is flabbergasted when he shows up and kafka is Like awesome! tell him now!#and mina is like: IM NOT READY FOR THAT???????#kafka: just wing it 😁👍#mina: KAFKA#idea bank#that’s so funny wait
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oflgtfol · 4 months
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literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird
#coworker situation resolved itself i think hes just Like That#we’ve been casually texting now and everythings normal its fine#other guy who asked me out to get sushi together. i ghosted him. Lmao#like bro ive only talked to you like … four times you are not getting me to a secondary location#and NOWWW#AT MY INTERNSHIPPPP#im huffing and puffing doing manual labor unloading boxes and shit#and custodial does Not pick up when i call them to perhaps come down to help me out#so i gotta do it all by myself i get a cart load it full of empty boxes and im like man i gotta go toss em all individually into the#dumpster now but lo and behold i get to the loading deck where the dumpster is theres a group of grown men#theyre all doing their own thang theres a bunch of box trucks theyre waiting on and they all turn to me when i open the door#im like. Hi. dont mind me i just gotta toss these boxes in the dumpster#two of the men approach me and just literally grab the entire damn cart itself and shake it out over the dumpster#like oh. Okay#i was like hey thank you so much !!! i literally dont know who you are but thanks for helping out !!#and i have so many empty boxes i need to do this two more times#so i open the door and just one of the original men shakes it out over the dumpster again#and i was like profusly thanking him cuz im like do you even work here like who are you thank you for doing my manual labor?? 😭😭#and so as im ducking out to get the last round of boxes the man says like hey only for you#and im like. in my head im like ??? but im like whatever. moving on.#so i bring out the last round of boxes and im like hey thank you so much for doing this have a great day#and he says something like i see you dont have a ring yet#LIKE WHAT#BACK UP !!! WHAT#IM ONLY 22 YOURE LIKE A WHOLE ASS 35 BACK UP !!!!!!!!!!#so i just say Hm! again and leave#like whenever these PEOPLE say weird shit to me i just say Hm!#CUZ LIKE. HUH?#what the fuck u want me to say that???#anyway thankfully tho this guy isnt a coworker so its literally just a passing rando i will never see again
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aria0fgold · 4 months
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Is... is a wisdom tooth growing... ON THE TOP RIGHT OF MY MOUTH?!!?!?!?!? NO!!! STOP! STOP IT! WHY?!
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having a terrible time bc the past few months i accidentally kinda maybe 90% cured my adhd...? no im not making this up im srs
i need a support group for ex adhd peeps but unfortunately. yanno. thats not a thing. or at the very least a "how to focus as a neurotypical" article or sth 😭😭😭😭
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mirmidones · 1 year
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why do men feel the need to start a conversation with girls all the freaking time. fucking trip into the railroad and die
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thethingything · 2 years
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ah okay apparently we've reached the time of night where we start to feel really weird and not great but I guess the best thing to do is just go over our self care checklist and if all else fails, lay down and try to get cosy and rest for a while to see if that helps
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helianskies · 1 year
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actually very pissed off. just got to my desk and it seems someone has come in to clean. in the process, they have moved things around on my desk including a monitor, my plant and sticky notes, and binned a bottle i had kept on my desk PURPOSEFULLY so i could reuse it, as it was a big bottle that i actually brought ALL THE WAY BACK FROM ITALY with me last year. for 10 weeks i have worked here and never has anyone touched shit on my desk or cleaned in our office. i'm actually upset. i am seriously upset. GIVE ME BACK MY ACQUA PANNA YOU ASSHOLES.
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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h elp how did manga sengen even get more than 10 followers im shakin—
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