#obv I get why he did everything he did and think he’s doing his best at the end of the day

[furrysmp]

decided for giggles to see what dsmp has been up to in the. Two and a half years since I last looked

Anyways so canon is trashfire but the part of me that started sunbringer in dsmp is now stirring to make More stuff. Like a "the universe reset thing but dream is still in prison so it doesn't reach him" thing that I'm trying to remove from brain bc I actually didn't do the catching up via vods and instead looked at fandom reaction for instructions and uhm.

Yeah no I genuinely want to write this it's gonna be so interesting but also who even does dsmp anymore like is there an audience

[everything-is-as-it-was]

Just rewatched the first (!!) pizza mukbang video and Oh God I Am So Fond of This Work of Art. (this is a long one sorry!!)

Does it ever occur to you... they owned their house at this time. They were building it. They knew they were going to own their phorever home together. god

Dan knew he was going to come out. That was his next big project. The fact that he even talks about how he's (at that time) growing and changing rapidly as a person all the time... he was doing so much.

Phil's whole vibe of gently shutting Dan's pessimistic comments is everything to me. Obv the most famous one is the 'you ever feel like you don't have a personality?' but it happens so many more times and it just makes me love phil so much he's so gentle

side note- when Dan talks about how he was thinking about saying 'eating ass' in his Living My Truth video Phil's face goes BLANK it's incredibly funny

When Phil says 'there was a moment, about a month before we did it, that I didn't think it was going to happen, in a way.' And knowing the context behind that, the fact that Dan was breaking down because he wanted to come out and felt like he couldn't, GOD. And the way Phil phrases it too, how even after Dan says 'because I was having a mental breakdown!' he goes on to say how it was a lot of things, not just that. True love or whatever idegaf

And there's so many times where Dan will jump in to clarify what Phil's saying- like when Phil talks about how he liked hearing people laugh in real time, and Dan jumps in to say how he's not saying that in a 'it's more gratifying to feel clapping' way. And again, this happens multiple times!! I feel like it just shows how in tune they are, how Dan knows what Phil means and how that might be misconstrued, and wants to make sure everyone else knows what he means too.

SO MUCH soft launch. The hand on the thigh. The "eating ass." The wide hips comment. The Zac Efron comment. Jesus.

I love the imagery of them sat on the couch trying to watch the handmaid's tale and Phil is absolutely losing it crying so Dan switches it to something happier. I mean I guess 'love' might not be the best word but it's just so sweet

D: "I panic about everything all the time." P: "Why are you worried?" D: "I don't know." -- man knowing the context of everything this hits hard

The way Phil challenges him when he says "i think I could just live in a hole" is- idek how to describe it. It's so matter-of-fact, so, "I know how you get, so I'm approaching this from a logical perspective because I know how to reason with you." ugh.

Anyhow sorry this was massive!! So so so many thoughts about this wonderful video and feel free to discuss/disagree with me :) I love any opportunity to yap loll

[astermath]

hiya! i’m a really big fan of your stranger things work and I was wondering, if youre comfortable of course, a steve x reader period imagine where reader tried to hide their period from Steve, but he finds out and is super fluffy and sweet about it? thank you!

HAHAH wow i have let this ask stew in my inbox since last year thats CRAZY im so sorry my dear,, i was going through old asks and i rlly like this prompt actually so here u go, i hope u enjoy!!!!

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

tags: established relationship, obv mentions of periods / menstruation, reader is referred to as female, steve being dense at first lol, regular sized font below!

wc: 1.4K

notes: while the reader in this fic is female, i am well aware not everyone who has a period is a girl, and not everyone who's a girl has a period!

Steve is one attentive boyfriend.

It’s the early stages of your relationship, the golden era, the honeymoon phase. And while you’re a still a bit nervous about it all, you couldn’t be happier, because he does it all right.

He knows your favourite snacks, what music you like, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry. He’s starting to figure out your ins and outs, and it’s almost crazy how quickly he’s catching on. You have no reason to feel judged by him at any point, he truly is comfort poured into the shape of a person.

So then why are you staring at your phone right now, struggling to dial his number and just tell him why you can’t make it to your date?

It’s not usually this bad, at least it hadn’t been for a while, so why now, of all moments, must you be forsaken to be terrorised by your period?

You bite your lip, laying flat onto your bed, hand over your lower stomach. It's right where the pain is just gnawing at you, just like the guilt is. But you know you’d feel even guiltier if you just stood him up, he doesn’t deserve that. You sit up, a tad slowly to save yourself from another cramp, and swallow your nerves for now.

“I’ll just… Tell him I’m sick. Yeah… Yeah I can do that.” You think to yourself.

The combination of his number had started to feel natural to your fingers now, unlike how anxiously you pressed the buttons the first time, triple checking before finally pressing call. You're triple checking again now, more so because you're not sure you can handle hearing the defeat in his voice when you tell him you can't make it.

The phone barely gets a moment to ring before he picks it up, and his all too familiar sweet voice comes through the device.

"Hey babe, everything okay over there?"

You pause a moment before replying. "How did you know it was me calling?"

"Lover's intuition." He chuckles, and it makes your heart flutter. It's not fair how easy it is for him to do that to you, but you enjoy it nonetheless. "So, what's going on?"

"I, uh..." God, getting the words out is like pulling teeth. But you'd rather die than let him think you just got cold feet about your movie date. "I'm really not feeling too well right now, Steve... I'm-- I'm so sorry, I'm gonna have to cancel for tonight." Your eyes are welling up with tears before he even gets a chance to reply, just imagining his pretty face losing its bright expression when hearing your unfortunate news.

"Oh," damnit, he does sound sad, "that's okay, uhm... Is there anything I can do? What kinda sick is it?"

Shit, he's gonna make you say it, isn't he? You know Steve is a mature guy, he knows about periods, knows how they work, but you've been told to suck it up and get on with it before... A part of you is still disappointed that you just can't.

"U-Uhm... It's more like, a stomach thing, I guess?" It's the best way you can put it for now, hoping it'll put his worries to rest.

"Okay, I see..." You can nearly hear him thinking, the subtle noise of bags being moved and a fridge being opened coming through the phone. "Uh, how aboouuut... I come over to yours, and we just watch a movie at home? I still got a couple of tapes we haven't gotten to, and I can bring some light snacks that won't upset your stomach too much."

The thought of Steve caring for you while you're sick sends a warm feeling through your entire body. God, how does he just keep getting better? But you can't lie to him, right? It's not like you're really sick, unless you count the curse of menstruation as a symptom.

Before you get a chance to explain, he's talking again, and by the ruckus in the background you can only guess he's rushing to grab all his stuff. "I'll be heading out in a bit, I'll stop by the corner store too, stay put for me alright? See ya in a bit!"

You're sure he didn't realize he wasn't letting you talk, but frankly, you probably couldn't even come up with a response on time anyways. Right now, you just have to worry about looking somewhat presentable, and maybe figure out a way to tell him you're not actually sick.

By the time you've brushed your hair and brushed some mascara onto your lashes, you're already hearing the doorbell. You just manage to pull a fresh shirt over your head, before stumbling down the stairs and stopping in front of the door. With a deep, loaded, sigh you open it, to reveal your boyfriend.

Hair messed up, plastic bag in hand, jacket haphazardly thrown on. He clearly rushed to be here, still panting a little, but in your eyes, he's the image of your guardian angel, your saviour in need.

Before either of you know it, you're crying again, your freshly applied mascara now leaving thin black streaks over your cheeks. Your hands go up to cover your face, embarrassed, not even sure why you're sobbing all of a sudden. The feelings just hit you like a freight train, rocking you before you even have a time to rationalize.

Steve's expression falters, the bag he had in hand dropping to the floor in an instant, stepping in closer so he can carefully wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest. Not too tight, he doesn't want to startle you. He's a bit distraught; he's really only seen you cry at a sad movie scene before, so he's a bit unsure as to what's caught you to be so upset right now.

"I-I'm sorry..." you manage to mutter through your incoherent sobs and sniffs, effectively ruining the front of his shirt in the process.

"Hey, hey..." His big hands go up to your face, gently cupping your wettened cheeks as he looks into your teary eyes. Hell, the image of you is almost enough to make him break too. "What're you sorry for? You can't help it that you're sick, right?"

The reminder of your lie makes you want to break eye contact in shame, but it's hard to force yourself to lose sight of that soft, caring gaze of his.

"I," sniff, "I lied, I'm so sorry Steve, I-- I'm not sick, I just... I have..."

He watches you expectedly, not upset, just curious. You'd surely have your reasons if whatever caused you to cancel is making you this upset.

"I'm... I'm just on my period and it-- it hurts really bad, it's not even usually this bad, and I felt like I was overreacting and I feel so bad and--" Your ramble gets cut short by his chuckle, the same one that nearly caused you to melt over the phone earlier.

"W-Wha... Why are you laughing?" You're not sure if you should be happy or worried, you're already experiencing so much at once, it's hard to pick one emotion to feel.

"Nothing, it's just, well," he picks up the bag he dropped, opening it slightly to show the bars of chocolate, candy and your favorite chips inside. "I had a feeling."

The sight of it makes you snap out of your state of distress, and you can’t help but crack a smile through your tears. “Seriously? How?”

He shrugs, a sheepish smile adorning his face. “I told you, lover’s intuition.” He pulls you back to him and kisses your head. “There’s another bag in the car with chicken soup in case I was wrong.”

You both laugh, just hugging on your doorstep for a moment. You have to let it sink in, that maybe Steve just is that sweet and considerate of a guy.

“D’you wanna go inside, or does standing outside help with cramps?” He pulls back a little, and you fight the urge to poke him in the ribs for his sarcasm. You love it either way.

“Yeah, let’s go inside. We can watch When Harry Met Sally and I can cry my eyes out again. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

-

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-

-

-

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[malarign]

make up

(how your arguments and making up after them would look like)

contains: bf!hyungline x fem!reader | genre: angst with comfort | tw! arguing (obv) | wc: 1,1k

reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: i think i’m back (this time for real though…)

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

arguments with heeseung are not very often

he prefers solving problems instead of accusing each other

overall just communicates very well

but sometimes he just breaks because of stress

or emotions he doesn’t talk about often

After a few minutes of talking in slightly raised voices, Heeseung stopped himself before saying things he would regret. Instead, he closed his eyes and massaged his temples. You stared at him in silence, waiting for his response. This whole situation could have been avoided if only he allowed you to help him relax and didn’t lace his stress on you. But that’s not what happened when you suggested his well-deserved rest.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, eyes glued to his shoes. His voice cracked a little along the way he spoke quietly. “I didn’t mean to lash out at you like that.”

He looked up at you. His eyes were tired and face was completely drained from any energy.

You smiled reassuringly at him and opened your arms invitingly. He gladly waddled towards you and melted in your touch, that he needed this whole week. He hid his face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your perfume.

“I know you didn’t, my love.” Your voice came out muffled by his hoodie. “Wish you would let me take care of you more, though,” you said, pulling away from his arms.

Heeseung smiled sheepishly and nodded. He placed a soft peck on your forehead, knowing how much you loved it. And he wasn’t wrong.

Park Jongseong | 박종성

okay,, arguments with jay always end up with cuddles and delicious food

but before you get to the nice part 💀💀

there’s a pretty heated argument happening right there

both of you are shouting trying to be heard

but neither of you can do so in this chaos

In the corner of your eye, you noticed how Jay rolled his eyes at your words. That small gesture added fuel to the raging fire that erupted in your kitchen.

“What’s your problem, Jay? Why can’t you just put yourself in my shoes?” You looked at him with your arms crossed.

“The thing is I used to be in your situation! And I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as I did.” He tried his best to hold the reins of his emotions as much as he could, though your defensive (and offensive) attitude made it pretty difficult. He looked at you helplessly as you stood your ground. He let out a final sigh. “Hope you’ll realize that I’m only trying to help you. I’m not your opponent.”

He slowly left you in the kitchen and you watched how he disappeared behind the door. You took a few deep breaths to calm down, surrounded by the heavy air of your argument. Thinking about it, you had come to the realization that all he wanted was to help you, while you made a whole fuss about him being simply right. With a heavy heart, I carefully opened the door to your bedroom and peeked inside. He stood in front of his desk silently, organizing some papers.

“I’m sorry,” you said, breaking the silence.

Jay turned around and put on a comforting smile. With opened arms for a hug, he said: “It’s okay. Come here.”

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

this man right there is not physically able to be angry with you

let alone raise his voice at you (yk that one iland ep… 😔)

he just agrees to everything you say

hates seeing you upset so avoids quarrels as much as he can

Jake knew your weekly movie marathon had to wait a bit longer the moment you opened the front door of your shared apartment with fury. From bursting flames in your eyes he could see something happened. Furthermore, something that made you lose your cool.

“Hi baby, can I help you somehow?” he asked calmly, continuing to prepare your favorite snacks.

You glanced at him angrily and let out a scoff. “You would know if only you picked up the phone.”

Jake bit his lower lip at your words, realizing he might have not charged his phone after coming home.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to charge it,” he explained honestly.

“Why do you need it if you’re not gonna use it?” You threw your arms in the air and continued to pace around the living room trying to find something.

“Baby,” Jake called, coming closer to you. “I’m sorry, but you know, it doesn’t happen often. I just wanted to prepare stuff for tonight,” he reasoned and hugged you from behind.

feeling how your tensed body relaxed in his arms, Jake made you face him, now looking at your pout.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, realizing your mistake.

Not wanting to continue that unreasonable argument, he simply asked: “How can I help you?”

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

arguments with sunghoon are nearly impossible

just when he senses that some quarrel is coming he becomes very quiet

he waits for you to calm down before proceeding with solutions to your problems

the last thing he wants is to upset you

that’s why he prefers peaceful discourse

The atmosphere in your apartment has been pretty heavy today. Your constant loud sighing, rapid movements, and eye rolls told Sunghoon everything: “I feel like breaking something right now”, “Why is everything so irritating today?” and “I’m so pissed right now”. He silently watched as you paced between the kitchen and your bedroom to find something to do. To find something to take your anger out on. After dating quite a long time with you he knew your temperament, especially when it came to your frustrated state. Instead of potentially setting you on fire unintentionally he decided to wait for you to do something. And you certainly did.

“Are you just going to stare at me or maybe ask what’s wrong?” you snapped after noticing him peacefully enjoying his afternoon tea and book.

He calmly placed both on the table and smiled slightly. “I didn’t want to pressure you to…”

“So you preferred to stay silent and enjoy the show of me being stressed?” You didn’t let him finish. His face made you want to bite your tongue yet it was too late. You already lashed out at him. Your expression dropped just like your heart. “I’m sorry,” you whispered with a lowered head.

After noticing how he stood up, you soon felt how he pulled you in a hug and swayed your body. Despite your terrible attitude, he placed a few kisses on your head and cheek.

“It’s okay.” His voice came out muffled by your hair. “Do you want to rant now?”

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

taglist: (open) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @kpoprhia, @redm4ri, @yenqa, @heesitation, @edensgardenn

[modawg]

it’s so sad to me that nico like never learned how much percy tried to help him yk

like percy literally rounded up his closest friends after being the only one to find out nico was the son of hades and decided to at least try to give nico a chance to live his life when the kid literally just tried to kill him, his sister just died, and through everything percy knows hates his guts - like he took all that info and decided to make a suicide pack with his closest friends in order to protect nico when giving nico the prophecy would’ve been the most logical and honestly understandable thing to do

like genuinely do ppl realise how EASY it would’ve been to just give the prophecy to nico his ONLY living relative (other than hades) just DIED they could’ve been like “listen you take this prophecy give it 6 years you’ll be dead with your sister and literally everyone else you know and you’ll be a hero for it” instead even though percy has an entire life, people who love and care for him, and a future wife infront of him he takes it upon himself to DIE in 3-4 years how fucking BONKERS is that

he also almost abandons a WHOLE OTHER QUEST putting himself and annabeth in danger just bc dumbass nico is out doing god knows what in the labyrinth and ends up getting caught (he was doing smth i’m being dramatic but still)

could you imagine being percy your going to war (and from your perspective you’re going to die in the next week or so after methodically doing everything in your power to keep this other random kid who you think hates you from suffering that fate) that kid comes up to you with a plan so you trust him just do be stabbed in the back bc that kids father wants him to be the prophecy child even tho you’ve been mentally preparing yourself to die for the past like 3 years?? id jump that kid too if he randomly came into my deep dark prison cell trying to break me out and then shun him after all that

like i read the way nico talks abt percy and he just seems bitter all the time he’s like “psh percy and his fake friendship what a dweeb can’t believe i had a crush on THAT guy🙄” like you’d be dead if it wasn’t for his friendship gay boy

i want like 5 years into the future annabeth is sitting with nico one day and is like “lol yeah i remember that one time percy made us all pinky promise to keep you safe and we all thought he was dumb bc you hated him sm but he really just wanted you to have a good life and now look at you!! :)” and nico to slow turn to her “…what”

like to this day i get that nico was mad at percy for not protecting bianca and bc of his internalized homophobia or whatever but why not hate on the actual people who sent her on that quest rather than a random kid you just met who said he’d try WHICH HE ACTUALLY DID DO and not idk literally any adult figure who sent her into the fire to begin with

i just want nico to realise that percy is simply just a boy who literally wanted nothing to do with any of this and was trying his best to free nico of that same burden sigh (;_;)

like those two are the fattest example of a miscommunication held together by misunderstood betrayal

disclaimer this is obv dramatic and the prophecy definitely doesn’t work like that but like think abt it ok

[webslingingslasher]

can you please give us something angsty between ethan and trouble? like how ethan texts her and she ignores the messages during the breakup. or when they run into each other in the cafeteria and trouble pretends he’s not there and walks away despite he’s calling out her name. the way trouble no longer crochets because that was her thing with ethan and it feels strange to pick up the needles and it makes her miss him.

*cleaning out my drafts!*

ethan is peter's best friend and by default, he owes you nothing.

you were a friend for the moment but once you and peter ended, so did the alliship. ethan didn't get that in the memo, but he's never made a friend through peter and lost her through him too. he keeps thinking everything is normal, like there isn't a giant peter shaped hole in the fence.

'hey, so i was thinking we could have a little study sesh at the library?'

'i'll rent out a room. and it would be just us.'

'obv.'

you miss him too sometimes. but he chose peter by default and you don't condemn him one bit for it, ally did the same with you. peter was ethan's friend first, so he should still be one when you walked away.

peter doesn't talk to ally anymore either. both friends became constant reminders of what you had and lost.

it might be a text message but you can hear ethan's voice in your head, he sounds defeated.

'i'm guessing that's a no.' you never open them but he knows you read them. it doesn't surprise ethan, you've ignored him since you dumped peter. he just never expected to be dumped too.

'i miss you.'

'i just wanna hang out with you again.'

'and if you don't want him around either that's fine with me.'

'i'll fly you somewhere in my private jet.'

'damn it. i was really hoping for a "you have a private jet???" response.'

'it's a yes btw. just because i know you're curious.'

'well, actually, it's my parents but you always say that's the same thing.'

you watch each notification appear and disappear. your teeth dig into your bottom lip to stop a smile, you can't go backwards. if you're around ethan it leads to peter and you can't do that.

ethan didn't realize there might be a reason why you haven't been texting him back, but he does now. what if you weren't replying because you weren't seeing them? he thought you were just ignoring him but it's been weeks of silence.

'did you block me too?'

he hopes not. he really, really hopes not. ethan knows why you pushed him away, he's just upset that he didn't get a say in it. ethan's never been able to tell you how sorry he is on behalf of his best friend and how he doesn't want to lose you over his idiocy.

you frown at the message, restraining your impulse to text him back, you hold your breath and wait for another message.

it comes two minutes later and your entire heart shatters.

'crochet buddy?'

you haven't been able to look at your basket of hooks and yarn, it feels wrong to finish your pig. you told ethan you kept messing up on the ears and he said he'd do them for you. he never got the chance. you wonder if he finished his lizard tail.

your thumbs move before your mind can stop you, not that it would. you had to tell him the truth, you can't have him wallow and sulk over you.

peter might deserve it but ethan doesn't.

'it would surprise me if you didn't have a private jet.'

'hey!!!!!!!!'

'don't leave yet pls.'

'let me take you out to lunch. we can go to the village or brooklyn.'

'i promise he won't find out.'

'please?'

'i miss my buddy.'

you think it's almost as painful as splitting from peter. ethan is peter's best friend and you can't get in the middle of that. it'll hurt peter just as bad and while part of you wants him to be hurt over you, you don't want to use ethan as the pawn to do it.

you back out of the conversation, lock your phone, set it down, and grab your unfinished pig before curling up with him for a nap.

---

ethan doesn't eat in kayte hall. you know he doesn't eat in kayte hall because you ate in cathedral hall with the sig nu frat.

used to.

you switched to kayte hall two weeks ago, it was an extra five minute walk but it was done with the purpose to avoid situations like this.

you try to move discreetly, it doesn't matter, he clocked you the second you sat down. you can't abandon ship, he's sliding in the seat across from you.

'you're avoiding me and i really hate it. you made me stoop so low i had to get a pledge to track you down for me.'

you're not going to give him the silent treatment, that would be plain rude.

'are you admitting to stalking me?'

'i'm admitting that i instructed someone to stalk you. are you flattered? you should be.'

'why aren't you at cathedral?'

'because you don't eat there anymore, duh. can i have a grape?' you hesitate before sliding your tray halfway up the table, he takes three.

you listen to the purple crush between his teeth, ethan looks a bit more serious after he swallows. you look at your cup, his stare makes you feel guilty.

'look, let me get this out of the way now so we don't have to talk about it again. i don't know all the details, park- peter hasn't really opened up to me about it.'

you swallow tightly, this is exactly what you didn't want to happen.

'from what i know- or pieced together, he disappointed me too. i'm sorry for whatever he did and i'm sorry it hurt you enough that i was caught in the crossfire, but between us, when i'm with you, he doesn't exist. this is the last time i'll ever talk about him, i'll offer you the same courtesy and we won't bring it up again.'

ethan's saying all the right things, you softly shrug. 'what's the courtesy?'

'you can ask me about him if you want to. it'll stay between us, i promise.'

the peter floodgates burst open, you'd done your best to push him from your mind but now you have the opportunity to indulge. you nibble at your bottom lip before looking up at him. ethan's smile is gentle, he's trying so hard for you.

'how is he doing?' from the little rumors you've heard it doesn't seem too good and the harsh bruise splattered across his jawline last week didn't do him any favors.

'um,' his smile tweaked, it's worse than you thought. you know it's bad because ethan's trying to find a way to be honest but not worry you. 'he's okay.'

'please be honest.' you know you ended it, you know it's real this time and you know part of you wants to hate him but if he's really down bad, you might have to give him a visit. ethan takes a deep breath and leans in closer to the table.

'yeah, he um, he kind of tanked. he's not himself right now. he's skipping chapter meetings, he's missing classes and if he's home, he's barricaded in his room or drinking.' your heart sinks, you're not hungry anymore.

'does he miss me?' you almost feel embarrassed to ask. ethan doesn't find the question pitiful, he's just glad you're talking to him. 'bad.'

it's brutal on your end too, but he sounds worse than you. at least you can get through the emotions of your day to day. you wish you could say you won the breakup but there's no winning.

'has he...'

you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer. you don't want to know the answer.

you still ask it. 'has he hooked up with anyone else?'

'no.' you believe him because he said it quick and with certainty. you nod slowly, it was the answer you wanted but it still didn't feel good.

'is he still going to the parties?' ethan shakes his head, 'i haven't seen him at any.'

'but he still has you, right?' if you didn't have a small support system you would've lost it ten times over by now. peter doesn't have a whole lot but one ethan overpowers ten mediocre friends.

'i asked if he wanted to talk about it, he said not really, i told him i was there for him and he said thanks. there really hasn't been much else, he's just been really quiet.'

ethan is all peter has, you can't rip that away from him. it would be evil to pollute the one thing he still had, you walked away from him and you shouldn't take his friend with you. plus... how could you move on if you have the peter encyclopedia at your fingertips?

'at least he's not crying.' you end it with a half laugh, half hum. it's sad all around and you're trying to lighten the mood, ethan avoids eye contact and your palms rest on the table.

'ethan.'

ethan's not sure if he is or not. he hasn't heard him but there are some days peter would shuffle out from his room for a water or snack and his eyes were a little red. there was evidence of crying but no tears, so he can't say with certainty but he knows.

'i don't know.'

it made up your mind. you can't do this to peter, you can't sneak around with his friend when he's still trying to mend what went down. you grieved the end of your relationship when you were with him, calling it quits was hard and it still is, but you were prepared. peter was caught off guard and he's still analyzing everything that went down, you know he is.

'so... are we cool?'

'of course we are, you were never a problem, ethan.' he looks relieved, releasing a sharp sigh he rests his hand over his heart and smiles brightly. 'oh thank god, i really missed you. so, are we done with the peter talk? are we ready to schedule our next crochet date?'

oh. he must've misunderstood you.

'no, we're not... we're not hanging out ethan, i just wanted you to know i didn't have any bad blood against you.'

ethan's not a mean person and you've never seen him mad at someone but he's hurt and his arms cross over his chest with a sneer.

'why am i being punished for what he did?'

'you're his best friend, ethan.' it's a statement and fact. it also has everything to do with you ghosting him. 'you were my friend too.' it's a raw confession, you can't look at him when he's this sad.

'i know i was. you were mine too, you still are. it's just different now and i'm not saying we can't be friends, but i think it would be better for everyone if we just took a break from each other right now.'

'it's not better for me. everything is weird right now, my best friend is a shell of the person he used to be and my other one pushed me so far away i was convinced she forgot about me.'

'it feels like i'm being iced out from all sides.' he's much sadder when he adds that on. you feel for him and you hate that you're part of the reason he feels excluded.

'i'm really sorry you feel like that, ethan. i promise it won't be forever, but i have my mind made up and no matter how many times you say please, it won't change.'

you're not sure if things between you became really quiet or if the dining hall doubled in sound. ethan's trying to come up with the right combination of words but nothing's good enough to make you come around on the idea.

If please doesn't work, he might have to force you.

'okay. i'll stop asking you to hang out with me.' he sounds fine with it, you're a little suspicious but he might've just wanted to talk to you, even if it was a formal goodbye.

'but i should go now.' ethan pushes against the edge of the table to slide out from his chair. his words are short but his tone is happy, you stare at him extra hard before nodding.

'i'll see you around?'

ethan sends a wink your way, 'see you later.'

---

the contents of your backpack are all over your bed, your phone nowhere to be found. you retrace your previous steps, you had it at lunch and you swore it was in your outer pocket at the library but after that it's blank.

it was either lost or stolen. your entire life was on it, you don't even have a way of telling everyone you lost it. you recheck your bag two more times even after holding it upside down, then fill it back up while giving yourself pity.

you wallow in it for ten minutes, not even a minute after that your roommate rushes in the door with her own phone held out. 'it's ethan.' you reach for it without thinking but pause before you can fully grab it, ally shakes it towards you. 'he said he has your phone?'

ally's unaware of what's happening and is being as helpful as she could but all you're thinking about is when and how he took it. you press her phone to your ear and ask him where your phone is, he plays dumb.

'i'm not fucking around, ethan. this isn't funny, i need my phone.'

'you left it behind at butler, it's a good thing my pledge found it for you.'

there was absolutely no chance of you leaving it, you clench your jaw and try to restrain yourself from throwing a million mean chirps. he sent someone to rob you.

'you stole my phone? why the fuck would you steal my phone?'

'oh, i didn't steal anything. you should be thankful one of our guys found it.'

'found it in my backpack?'

'did he? hm, interesting. but, hey! it's here and it's safe.'

'great, bring it to me.'

there's a pause on the other line, ethan sucks air in through his teeth. 'sorry, no can do, buddy. looks like you'll have to come get it.' your mouth parts in shock, that was the plan? forcing your hand to hang out with him?

'absolutely not. just meet me at kayte.'

'another no go, my friend. i'm stuck here and so is your phone.'

'you're not stuck anywhere, except in a house with my ex.'

'he's not here.'

'i don't believe you.'

you can picture ethan holding his phone into open air, he sounds far away when he calls out 'parker!' there's a solid ten second gap before he sounds crystal clear again. 'see? no threats.'

'ethan, please.'

'just come over, i promise it'll be fun.'

your eyebrows furrow, he thinks it's a game. 'no, nothing will be fun. this will be a business transaction and i'll be out of there in ten seconds.'

'so it's a yes? you're coming over?' if ethan had a tail, he would be wagging it. his plan worked and you're falling right into his hand. if it was anything else, you'd say fuck it and move on. but ethan took the one thing he can hold over your head and you both know it.

'i don't know how, but this is a rich asshole thing and you're being one.'

ethan ignores you. 'make sure to bring your crochet hooks!'

'i'm not doing that.'

'that's okay! i have a bunch of extras.'

'i mean it, ethan. i'm not hanging around!'

'what's that? sorry, you're breaking up on me. we should finish this conversation in person... okay, bye!'

the call disconnects suddenly. you stare at the black screen and take a deep breath to secure your thoughts before making a trek across campus.

---

'give me my phone.'

ethan ignores you and points to his bedside table, there's two waters and an entire box of grocery store cookies. 'here, come have a snack.' he drops his crochet tub on the edge of his bed. 'i got some new yarn, look at how soft it is.'

everything about it was a ruse.

'im serious, ethan. give me my phone.' he sighs and gestures to his desk, he keeps pulling out hooks. 'it's on my desk.' you search the surface, it's extremely tidy with no hiding place.

'no it's not. where is it?'

'hm... i must've misplaced it. i'll help you look in a second.'

if ethan wants to play dirty, you have no issue getting in the mud. you grab a small succulent from his windowsill and raise it next to your head.

'give me my phone, ethan.'

you're fighting fire with fire, ethan eyes his plant in your hold but keeps a straight face. 'i forgot where i put it.' if that's how he wants to act, you have no choice but to follow through on your actions.

you drop the mini cactus, the pot shatters into a dozen pieces and soil spatters around the floor. ethan falls to his knees and screams 'no!' at the plant guts covering the ground.

'she was a kid, you monster! she did nothing to you!'

you grab the matching pot that was next to it. 'give me my phone or the sister gets it.'

'i refuse to negotiate with a terrorist!' you're breaking him, you can see he's hesitant to refuse your compromise. 'i'm sorry you feel that way.'

the clay pot falls just as quick, it lies in a broken heap next to it's twin. ethan acts like he's been shot, a throaty yelp was produced while he delicately held the cacti in his hands.

the plants were fine, all you did was bust the pots. and while breaking personal property was a bar too low for you, you know he has at least a dozen more just like it in his closet.

you look up at his door to watch it crack open, it's a swift movement but it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. you try to back up as quick as you can but you're cemented to the floor and all you can do is stare at the face coming through the door.

'what the hell is... hey.'

you swallow hard, he looks how ethan said. just a shell of what he once was. all you can stare at is the purple bruise on his cheekbone, your heart pangs when it's reminded it's not your job to care about it anymore.

you point at ethan who suddenly is really quiet.

'he stole my phone.'

peter nods slowly before peering down at the mess around your shoes. 'did he give it back?' you shake your head, you feel like a tattle tail, especially when peter looks down at ethan and tells him to give your phone back.

ethan pulls it out of his pocket and hands it right over, your jaw drops and you frown heavily at him. 'you do it when he asks but not me?'

'he'll beat me up, you'll just unhouse my plants.'

'peter would never beat you up.' therefore, his excuse is pointless. ethan disagrees, his eyebrows almost hit his hairline with how confident you are. 'over you? he'd fucking kill me.'

you wait for peter to tag in, you know something is brewing in his mind. something like 'damn right i would,' and you'd follow up with something about how he's actually a big baby and he'd say something like 'only for you' and you'd... but that's not real life anymore and he stays silent.

he's probably confused and a little hurt you're hidden away in ethan's room, you feel the need to apologize even though you're not sure why you're sorry.

'i'm sorry, peter. i tried telling ethan that we should take a break on our friendship but he won't let it go.' you threw him under the bus in a second and you don't care, from the looks of it neither does ethan.

'you can be friends with ethan. you should be friends with ethan.' it's the first time actually talking with him since the break up and it feels weird, he's too formal. he's being kind and reserved, he's pliant and you need some bounce back to feel normal.

'you always said i needed to unfriend him when we were together.' you might've tossed a taunt at him, you wanted a reaction. you wanted your peter and throwing the break up in his face might do it.

it works, his eyebrows furrow while his stature hardens. 'i said a lot of shit i didn't mean when we were together, trouble.' you point at him, your tone ice cold. 'don't.' you refuse to acknowledge the small spread of warmth at the nickname.

'you like ethan, ethan likes you. you guys are good friends, why should i fuck that up? i ruined enough shit for you. the least i could do is give you ethan.'

ethan could speak up to make a joke about how it's like he's a child of divorce or that he's a person, not a piece of property but it feels like you're both having a moment that needs to happen. even if there was a weird energy he was picking up on.

your eyes narrow, he's doing this for reasons beyond being a good person. you know him well enough to know that he has something up his sleeve.

'i can think of something else i'd rather you give me.'

you can see the heat brewing behind his eyes, you got him right where you want him. peter uses his serious voice, the one he uses instead of raising his voice but still demands your attention.

'we're not talking about this here.'

those two sentences just told ethan that whatever you were insinuating was what ended the relationship and peter's very upset stance solidifies his opinion.

'oh, trust me. you're not talking about it at all.'

'we're not unpacking this in front of ethan. i'm on my way out anyway, hang out with your friend.' peter tries to step past you but you circle around to step up with him and block his exit, his chest brushes yours for a second and it takes everything in you not to wrap your arms around him and sink your face into the body you once found homely.

'liar.' he doesn't want you to hang around and he wasn't leaving. you're met with a heavy sigh. 'yeah, probably.' you can't stop yourself, you lightly poke his chest and peter's head drops so he can watch your hold stick longer than it should've.

'be honest.'

'you might be ready to cut the cord but i'm not.' he'd rather keep you in his life as a tie through ethan no matter how sore it was. if you had ethan you'd never fully lose him and that kind of promise is the only thing he wants right now.

'neither am i.'

peter stares at ethan, 'shut up.' he's shunned into silence. you're starting to understand why peter said he wasn't going to unpack anything here, you look down at your hands and play with a ring on your finger.

you think peter wants to talk about it civilly but you don't think either of you are ready to do it yet without hurting either person's feelings even more than they already are.

but having ethan around is a nice way to keep peter close without damaging your healing.

'okay.' you take a deep breath and glance at ethan, who's still pouting on the floor keeping his eye line from peter. 'i guess we can hang out.' he lights up in a second, looking between you and peter in case either one of you vetoes it.

neither of you do.

'sweet! i have to repot these but i have some new templets in my basket, so if you want to pick one out and start i'll just catch up later.' you nervously look towards peter and immediately dart away when you make eye contact.

turning your back on him slightly, you feel a little better. there's something about him that makes you feel jittery, like when you were the first couple times you met up with him alone.

'i don't think being here is a good idea, maybe we should just stick to my dorm?'

'why? parker said he was fine with us hanging out.'

'because maybe parker was being nice and doesn't actually want to see me here?'

peter can speak for himself, and he'll use the correct name. in case you forgot. 'peter, is just fine with you being here. the only sucky part is knowing you hate me.'

you think he might be baiting you now but you can't help but set the record straight. 'okay, hold on now.' you speak very clearly towards him, you're not about to let him twist your words.

'i am a hundred different emotions towards you right now but i don't hate you. i think you know that, parker.'

'okay,' it's full of sarcasm. 'you have a goodnight, trouble. i'll see you later.' you bite your tongue and let him leave, if you didn't, you'd be making subtle shots at each other all night.

'your best friend is a dick.' the second you're alone. ethan shrugs, 'you were into that at one point.'

'no, no. if we're going to be friends you only ever sympathize with me about him, you're not allowed to bring up anything i did in the relationship.'

ethan has a pile of soil and a pile of shattered clay, you feel obligated to help him clean up. 'and for clarification, i'm supposed to sympathize with your ex boy toy when i'm with him?'

'absolutely not. you're on team me at all times. shame him if you have to.' the broken pieces land in his desk trash can. 'is this where i have to remind you he'd kick my ass?'

oh, you missed and loathe this so much.

'you're so whiny, clean quieter.'

'is it too late for you to ghost me again?'

'that's it. clean up your own mess, i'm going to make a crochet snake and not because it's the easiest but because that's how you're acting.'

ethan snorts and nods towards his wicked wicker basket of yarn, you're already eyeing different greens. 'be sure to make one for my twin next door.'

you do.

you leave it outside peter's door and while ethan never confirmed it, he knows you're the one who made it.

and it sleeps on his nightstand next to him every night. 

[pablitogavii]

NNN

Apperantelly, in America there's this thing called no nut november ;))

After hearing about it and making a bet with his friends (without thinking obv!!), Pablo was trying his best to be a winner of NNN. Everyone who knows Pablo, knows he LOVES to win and this challenge was no different.

First week was relatively easy because he was away most of the time for Champions League so there were not as man temptations as when he's home with you...like right now ;)

"Why would you agree to something so stupid amor!? It's pointless!!" you said removing your makeup in the bathroom wearing one of your new thongs.

"It's a proof of character and strenght of mind princesa!" Pablo said from the bedroom and you rolled your eyes (he didn't see it but he knew you did it).

"It's literally a relationship destroyer! Plus, there is no way you'll win Pablito!" you said stepping out of the bathroom immediately noticing your boy eyeing your new thongs.

"Hmm..why..um..why not princesa??" he was asking meanwhile his eyes staring directly at your pussy and his lower lip hanging adorably. He was craving you and you used it to your advantage ;)

"Because most of your friends are single..and it's harder for a taken man to resist..much..harder" you smirk touching his clear bulge but he pulls away running his hand through his sweaty hair. You were torturing him!!

"You should put some clothes on princesa!" he said and you giggled shaking your head and jumping towards the bathroom making your ass cheeks jiggle. That made pablo gulp..maybe he hasn't thought this through as he thought..

"Hm they are my new thongs..do you like them Pablitoo??" you teased wiggling your butt in front of his face and he smacked it roughly making you whine and jump to look back at him.

"I can still do that, so behave!!" he said clenching his jaw and you rolled your eyes calling him "no fun!" before jumping to bed.

Ever since that night,, you made it impossible for the poor boy to complete his task. For the next two weeks you would do everything in your power to drive Pablo mad every time he was spending time with you. It became too much fun!!

Every time he is laying in bed waiting for you, you would "accidentally" straddle his lap to fix your pillow before laying down and raising your hips up so that you bum was impossible to miss. Oh, and Pablo certainly didn't miss it. He would always place blanket over it to help himself (twilight anyone?). He would kiss your neck before saying a quick "goodnight" and trying desperately to sleep.

"I'm missing you amor.." you pout during a movie night since he was so far away and you just wanted your cuddle bear back not even caring about anything more(well you were always down to tease and make this challenge harder for him tho).

"Bueno..I'm gonna cuddle you but be good, vale?" he said moving closer and you nod although giving him naughty eyes. He knew he was in a world of trouble the moment your hands were on his body.

The longer the movie laster, the more wandering your hand got moving slowly downwards making him continually gulp and observe your actions.

"Amoor!! Basta!" he said and your grinned looking up as his hand gripped your raising it up and placing it on his heart again.

"Why is it so important for you to win this..!?" you whined starting to kiss his neck and he pulled back shaking his head no in response. Ughh you hated this!!

"Because they keep saying I'll fail cause I have a girl and I like to prove them all wrong!" he said and you sighed getting up and saying you were in no mood for a movie anymore just leaving to the bedroom.

You were so needy and desperate being touch starved but knew Pablo's rules were clear about touching yourself without permission..nobody touches what's his quoting him anytime you tried asking in the past.

"Amoor! Por favor..touch me..I need you pleasee!!" you whined when he joined you and Pablo told you that the month is over soon and that he will pleasure you properly then. But you didn't want "properly"..you wanted something..anything..right now.

"So just let me touch myself then!!" you say back angrily feeling his hand grip your neck as he came closer to your face.

"The answer is 'no' preciosa! You're mine and only mine!" he said and you gave him innocent eyes while nodding your head submissively..damn it he still got that effect on you!!

"Now shut up and cuddle me!" he said pulling you in as both of you fell asleep utterly unsatisfied and tired. This f sucked!!

"Someone haven't been sleeping..did our little Pablito cave??" Ferran teased during Practice and Pablo had enough really snapping this time.

"NO, I haven't cabrón! I didn't sleep cause she would cuddle up so close to me, I swOre to god I was gonna explode! This is stupidest thing I've ever chose to do!" Pablo just went to the dressing room where Balde was ready to add salt to his wound.

"You know I've heard stories of girls cheating much more during nnn because their guys don't satisfy them properly.." he said and that was the end of it as Pablo grabbed his bag and practically ran home.

Balde's words kept replaying in his head as he imagined some other man fucking you sensless in your shared apartment while he was on training..he was done with this bullshit! He wants you and will have you now!

"AMOR!" Pablo yelled barging inside like a maniac and you jumped in the kitchen while washing some salad later for lunch.

"Que pasa Pablito!? You alright??" you ask walking up to him and touching his face while he looked at your body wearing your home dress that looked way too delicious on your right now. Pablo couldn't resist anymore.

"Ohh nena.." he groaned placing his hands on your ass which took you a little by surprise after week of touch starvation. It felt nice to feel his hands on your body again..but why now??

"Que haces cariño??" you say while his eyes were practically glued on your cleavage as his bulge hardened more inside his shorts.

"Mm let's go.." he said and you raised your eyebrows deciding to play hard to get a little after being so patient for him.

"Go where??" you played dumb and he smirked looking towards your shared bedroom and then back at your lips while licking his own.

"But your challenge? You wanted to win." you say moving your hands to his shoulders while his moved up to grip your breast and then back down to your ass. Fuck..he was feeling you up and it felt SO DAMN GOOD!!!

"Here's a new challenge..make my girl cum until she passes out with my dick still buried deep inside her perfect pussy!!" he said grabbing your hips wrapping your legs around his torso carrying you towards your shared bedroom being utterly done with NNN!!!

Hope you enjoyes;) An idea sparked and vuola!!

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as 1989 Songs

+ bonus! the slytherin boys as romance tropes

I decided to shake this one up a bit and do all happy love songs

here's 1989 (tv ofc); which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as I Know Places

best lyric(s) - "let them say what they want we won't here it" + "love's a fragile little flame it could burn out" + "just grab my hand and don't ever drop it"

trope - enemies to lovers :)

mattheo w a crush - in love, mattheo is somewhere in the middle between being sappy and just straight up insulting you. not like calling you ugly or anything but like "damn i didn't know it was possible to mess up such an easy spell" like kind of teasing. he's one of those guys that will be mean at first and then be like playfully mean and then finally, will start being nice to you but only sometimes. he just thinks you're adorable when you're angry.

mattheo as a boyfriend - now as a boyfriend, mattheo still teases the hell out of you but god forbid literally anyone else does bc he'll kill them. like actually. also the pair of you go through a little bit of a rough patch during the war and he keeps telling you that you have to stay way from him but secretly, he's really happy that you never actually listen to him because he doesn't know what he would do without you. he just kind of ignores all the whispers and hogwarts becomes your guys' like safe little happy love bubble.

draco malfoy as Out of the Woods

best lyric(s) - "the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color" + "when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you" + "I walked out I said 'i'm setting you free' but the monsters turned out to be just trees"

trope - everyone can see it except for you

draco w a crush - I think draco would be the kind of guy that actively avoided his crush. like if you were sitting in the very front of transfigurations, he was sitting in the absolute furthers corner in the back. If you were going on the hogsmeade trip, he was begging his friends would leave him to simmer in his affections for you. he's just so nervous and so certain you'll dislike him that he'd rather not talk to you at all. when he finally does work up the courage, he's extremely happy and like eternally grateful that you'd give him a chance.

draco as a boyfriend - i do think though that draco is not always the best at communicating just because he always wants everything to be so perfect and he doesn't want there to be anything that he says that could make you resent him so he'd rather not say anything at all. obv, this doesn't work out well for him cause like... communicating w you is so essential. y'all get into arguments fairly regularly but you always end up making up because he's always just creating those demons in his head and it's almost never that serious.

theodore nott as Suburban Legends

best lyric(s) - "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious" + "when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" + "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out"

trope - hopeless romantic

theo w a crush - I think with a crush theo would be the kind of guy that just simps like a mf. like you need someone to carry your books, he's there, why would you even try to carry them yourself? just let him take care of it. or like, when you're not feeling well and you might need to spend a few days in the hospital wing, while you're sleeping theo sneaks in and leaves the notes for the classes you missed as well as your favorite sweets and flowers. (one time when michael corner made you cry, he beat the snot out of him and then the next day left this huge teddy bear outside your door with the note "y/n, that douchebag sucks. -tn")

theo as a boyfriend - theo's simp nature carries over when he's a bf so he's super freaking caring. he does literally everything for you. he'll brush your hair when you get out of the shower if you ask. or if you're like me and you have like thicker ethnic hair, he'll ask you to show him how to do your hair so that he can do it for you. he's also one of those guys that's like casually dominant. like hand on your lower back in a crowd, opening your doors, reaching up and grabbing things from the top shelf for you. naturally protective in the sense of like he always wants to sleep closest to the door in case something happens and like is also always making sure you eat and get enough water.

lorenzo berkshire as "Slut!"

lyric(s) - "and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love" + "and i break down then he's pulling me in. in a world of boys he's a gentleman" + "got love struck went straight to my head"

trope - friends to lovers

enzo w a crush - enzo is the kind of guy who's not afraid to be in love. he actually loves it. he loves having someone to compliment and shower in gifts and win over. where mattheo would tease you, draco would avoid you, and theo would lose himself in you, enzo is the guy who would bring you inexplicable joy and make sure you knew that it was him that was bringing you joy. not to say that he wouldn't do sweet gestures and such but he's the sort of guy that will make you his best friend and then make you fall in love with him.

enzo as a boyfriend - because of this, you and enzo are like those like childhood friends turned lovers type of thing. he just knows you so well and the love between you two comes so easily. he makes it his personal mission to make you smile at least once a day. as your boyfriend, he's just really playful. things like pillow fights and tickle fights. he's also that boyfriend that will do all those little stupid tiktok trends with you but like really energetically and not just like half-assed bc if it's gonna make you smile, he's going all in.

---

4.25.24

wc 1k

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[nightcolorz]

if u are comfortable with this topic, do u have any thoughts about (tw: marius) how armand would think about what happened with marius in his early life? would he eventually think of it as csa or would he be uncomfortable thinking of it (or himself) in that way. in canon it seems he thinks of it as a “positive” contrast to his assault by slavers. but at the same time he describes being very helpless and not even totally understanding what is happening at first. and the conflict over marius denying him the chance at a normal life and isolating him from humanity could almost be a metaphor for grooming and abuse.

hi anon!!! I’m happy to talk about this 🙏 amazing question. Tw sa and csa talk, obvs.

While I like the idea of Armand being able to process his relationship with Marius as traumatic, I’m not sure if he could ever rlly reach that point (at least book-wise). Armand has a warped perception of the type of dignity/autonomy/right to feel comfortable, safe, etc that he is entitled to as a person. He was so deprived of that type of basic respect in childhood + his whole life that he isn’t able to rlly conceptualize being deprived of these things as “wrong”. He has internalized himself as sort of an inherently lesser commodity that will always be used for other’s gain. And so with this in mind he has a sort of “beggars can’t be choosers” view of kindness and love. So with Marius, I don’t think he registers the sexual abuse as bad since he was non consenting bcus he doesn’t understand bodily autonomy as smth he’s entitled to or something he expects to have. Also, since Armand sees Marius as so good, loving, merciful, etc, he can’t rlly wrap his head around him being abusive. Armand thinks of Marius as his loving father + the love of his life who saved him from human trafficking and took him under his wing, and I think bcus of how highly he regards these actions, any abuse he’s put through is thought of as an acceptable exchange for everything he has been gifted.

Bcus of how Armand doesn’t see Marius having sex with him as a child as abusive, u can see he has this disconnect as an adult when interacting with Marius where he feels the affects of the abuse but doesn’t understand why they are there. In the vampire Armand he recognizes that he is uncomfortable around Marius and hesitant to trust him or interact with him, but he doesn’t know why he feels this way, and seems to consider it an irrational reaction he should get past. I think Armand definitely knows to an extent that Marius mistreated him (tho I don’t think he considers their sexual relationship part of this), but I think he doesn’t feel any real resentment or conscious grief over this resentment, again bcus he never felt that he was entitled to being treated well in the first place.

Marius is more aware of how he has wronged Armand then Armand is 😭 and I think if they were to discuss this Armand would find it unsettling or even angering. Armand definitely grieves being deprived of his humanity, but he I think sees it more as a tragic inevitability than a fault of Marius’s, while Marius definitely sees it as his fault. If Marius were to apologize to Armand for turning him so young I think Armand would get rlly upset, partly bcus he would find the implication that Marius regrets keeping him alive super offensive and devastating, and partly bcus he would find the explicit acknowledgment that his gracious caregiver did not have his best interest at heart and acted in ways he knew were selfish and would harm Armand, earth shattering. It’s more comfortable for Armand to believe that he wasn’t being abused by the one person he believes ever cared for him, then to recognize that so many of his issues were willfully caused by him.

I think that by post canon Armand would definitely be aware that by modern standards of morality and law his relationship with Marius as a child would be seen as predatory and sexually abusive, but I don’t think this would influence how he perceives it very much. I think he’d be able to reach the place where he recognizes that it is always harmful for children to have sex with adults, but I think he’d continue to see Marius and him as this single expectation to this fact that somehow made it out fine, bcus of time period or vampirism or whatever yada yada. Being sexually abused by Marius contributed heavily to Armand discovering his sexuality and learning how to have relationships, and even tho it was definitely traumatic, I think Armand considers it a necessary trauma that taught and shaped him more then it scarred him. Armand resents Marius for abandoning him after he was kidnapped by the children of darkness, and for depriving him of being his companion (cough cough bcus marius doesn’t respect him or care for him as an equal or individual cough cough), but I don’t think he is able to recognize that the sexual abuse was just as harmful and a part of this behavior.

I also have a feeling that Armand doesn’t want to acknowledge that being sexually abused by Marius was wrong bcus he feels at fault for it (since he enjoyed it and willfully took part in it as he got older), so I imagine bcus of his deep seated religious guilt and shame he sees himself more as an instigator for sexual violence bcus of his “seduction” then a victim of it. Which I definitely relate to! Armand is such a greatly upsetting example of how complex cases of sexual abuse and grooming can be hard to cope with by victims who felt that they enjoyed it, initiated it, etc. Our culture sees sexual abuse as this very straightforward rapist vs victim scenario, when in reality it is often much more complex, often with victims who have positive feelings towards their abusers or felt that they asked for/enjoyed the abuse. Armand has experienced the straightforward blameless type of sexual abuse, and he has experienced the complex kind, and part of his trouble with recognizing that both were abuse comes from how limited the understanding of sa was in his time. I also think that he refuses to acknowledge that his relationship with Marius was sexually abusive bcus he finds it more comforting and empowering to think of it as beneficial then abusive. The reality that Armand was sexually abused for his entire life until he was turned is probably sm more difficult to accept then he was sexually abused in his early life and then rescued from it by Marius.

even tho Armand isn’t able to consciously acknowledge that Marius abused him, that trauma definitely lives in his body and affects him daily. The lesson that Marius taught him by having sex with him the first night he took him home is that for Armand, love is inherently transactional and inherently selfish. Ppl who love u r entitled to use u, being made to feel helpless, scared, hurt, etc by someone who loves u is normal and part of the deal, giving up ur bodily autonomy in a relationship is part of loving, love is pain and sex is meant to hurt you, etc. and all of these internalizations are a major factor in how fucked up all of Armand’s romances r 😭 and how much trouble he has with attachment and keeping up healthy relationships. He sees his relationship with marius as the blueprint 😭💔 Marius was his father, and he is always clinging to these life truths his father taught him in childhood.

I like to imagine it is possible for Armand to heal from this abuse, and to accept that it was abuse, but the reason I hesitate to picture it is bcus of how incredibly difficult it would be for him. To heal, Armand would have to literally rework the foundation his entire worldview, and to reassess his entire sense of self and (already fragile) understanding of his own life and how it’s affected him. Someone needs to get him a good therapist, cuz oh boy, that is not the kind of work anyone, let alone someone like Armand, can do independently.

thank u sm for the ask I loved writing and thinking about this!!!! Anon u r so so sweet to be so considerate towards me, but for further reference I love to and am very comfortable analyzing and talking about Armand’s history of abuse, and anyone is free to send me asks prompting me to go into depth about it. Thank u again anon ❤️❤️

[lopsicle]

Okay,like a couple minutes ago I learned that it is actually trans day of visibility today soo woohoo! Kind of hard to celebrate in this shithole called the UK though, so I’m going to hide on tumblr and talk about which characters I think are trans coded or just Headcanon as trans because it’s my day I can do that now heheheh-

Also, I’m just tryna do a little thing for trans visibility day, I like being opaque, I ain’t trying to start any arguments, if you see a Headcanon you disagree with, just scroll. And if you think I’m biased towards transfem characters, it’s because I am and I ain’t apologising for that, they’re underrated in terms of fandom and obvs I’m transfem so I love them and relate to them more. Transmasc characters still will be on this list though as there’s so many that I love.

Characters That I Think Are Transgender Because Fuck You

Number one: Hunter Noceda (The Owl House)

This was probably the easiest and hardest pick for the list, for a couple reasons. Number one, I don’t think there’s a single person who agreed this pathetic wet cat is cisgender. Whether you think he’s transmasc, transfem, something else entirely, he ain’t cis. It’s clear why the fandom clung to Hunter as the resident trans character, him having a secret identity via The Golden Guard (seriously, any character with a secret identity is immediately trans, I don’t make the rules), the overconfident attitude mixed with deep insecurity and his arc about finding a way to ‘like who he is right now’ in Thanks To Them really just sealed the deal. Other little details like how his hair cuts helped him find his new identity did not help his case.

While I personally think he’s transfem, and am just using he/him because that’s his canon pronouns, Hunter is one of those characters that a lot of people can identify with which is what The Owl House is really about so I kinda had to include him on this list. The reason it was a hard decision is because holy fuck, every single character in this show is trans. Deciding between him and Amity was the hardest choice of my life because transfem Amity is heavily underrated and I love her, but you really can’t compete with Hunter, he’s had an amazing influence on the fandom and the character has probably helped a lot of people come to terms with their identity.

To summarise, Hunter is a great character, I miss him everyday, I miss The Owl House everyday, he was cool as fuck and a lotta people identified with him.

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)

This is one that I feel is heavily underrated, and that’s coming from someone that took two years after the show ended to watch Amphibia. With Amphibia, pretty much all of the human characters are Headcanonned (is that a word?) as some part of the trans umbrella but Anne is the one who does not get enough attention, especially for a main character.

At least to me, Anne was very transfem-coded in the show, everything from her raggedy appearance, to her essentially assuming a new life in Amphibia to the arc about accepting who you are to THE SONG ABOUT ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE-this was the most in your face, trans-coded rep I could ever ask for. But she is criminally underrated in terms of being viewed as trans rep even though I’ve found her story one of the most compelling in terms of trans coded storylines in nearly any piece of media I’ve ever seen. Give Anne more attention, she’s literally the best. Marcy and Sasha are cool too but Anne’s writing deserves so much more praise than it gets.

Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

If you haven’t realised it yet, this entire list so far is just one massive fuck you to Disney because fuck Disney. Dipper was the closest we got to having a canon trans main character in a mainstream animated show and it was taken from us, fuck Disney y’all. But still, Alex has all but confirmed Dipper’s identity as trans masculine, you can see remnants of that arc with him learning that he’s a man in his own right and masculinity being something he can define for himself, the whole thing about Dipper actually being a nickname, and him bonding with the men in his life, like Stan.

Even though I didn’t notice it when I was a kid watching the show, rewatching it now with the knowledge of Dipper’s identity makes the experience a bit more personal, I can see bits of myself in Dipper and I think that’s the whole point of his character. Watching it as a kid you can relate to him because of his sarcasm, his bluntness, his comedy but also because of how heroic, adventurous and curious he is, he’s basically the idealistic role of the viewer. But as you get older and think more critically about him, you can see more of his flaws and that makes him so much more real and so much more relatable. Obviously being trans isn’t a flaw, that was just me doing a side tangent because Dipper means the world to me and is only the standard of writing a cartoon protagonist in some ways, I just think he’s a really cool character and Disney robbed us.

Also Pacifica is transfem because TfT couples are hecking adorable

Sallie May (Helluva Boss)

Guess who just realised that (other than Dipper technically) I haven’t put a single canon trans character on this list. Headcanons are better, I don’t make the rules, but Sallie May is amazing. No matter how critical you are of Helluva Boss, one thing it unapologetically does well is queer representation. The amount of characters that the audience can relate to makes it almost addicting to watch as you get to watch these characters live their best lives. Well, their lives are kinda fucked but you get what I mean, they just get to live as queer people, most of the time.

And Sallie May is proof that trans people will eat up absolutely anything, even if it’s a whole thirty seconds of screen time of a trans character. Being fair to her, Sallie May eats up every moment she gets on screen, her dialogue can be equivocated to just a middle child acting like a middle child and I think it is partly that, I feel like we have a lot more to learn about Sallie May and in turn her sister Millie. At least I hope we do, Millie’s writing needs to improve, their family dynamics can be so interesting because every other one of their siblings is a boy, their parents can be judgemental, I feel like even if Sallie May can be a bit taunting to her, those two are probably really close, especially since Millie is one of the people Sallie May would have to go to for girl advice.

To summarise, since I went off on a bit of a tangent, Helluva Boss brings out the worst in me, give Sallie May and Millie more screen time, they’re the best, we love healthy sibling dynamics.

Double Trouble (She-Ra)

Jesus, they’re hot. Anyway, the first non binary entry on this list, the fabulous Double Trouble who stole the entire show from the moment they were introduced. Throughout the entirety of the last season, I can remember just waiting for the point that they’d show up again and nearly screaming when they did.

Double Trouble was one of the most charming members of the She-Ra cast and became effortlessly iconic, conning every single character, playing both sides of a war so that they’d come out on top, and they did win in the end. DT basically had zero consequences and even got to flirt with Sea Hawk when they were reintroduced so they got a win really. Double Trouble was mean, condescending and a liar and I love them so, so much, them being a shapeshifter is just absolutely perfect and fits their character so well. It was nice to see Non-binary rep in a cartoon and have it not immediately be cancelled, looking at Disney and thank God it wasn’t because She-Ra really wouldn’t be the same without this manipulated, child of a bitch

Crowley (Good Omens)

You know the gender’s hitting when you don’t even know what the fuck the gender is. Crowley is a delight of the character from the moment they’re introduced to the end of the show, which nearly broke my heart since I watched it just recently, if anybody would like to send me tissues, that would be greatly appreciated.

From my vast research of one google search, I’ve concluded that they’re gender is up to viewer interpretation which is actually what mine is too so I can respect that. This literal demon stole the show whenever they were on screen, whether it was David Tenant’s acting, the moments we saw softer sides of him, her pinning over Aziriphale of them just being an actual demon, Crowley is a wonderful piece of representation and I hate that because it makes me sad, let them get together, please.

KFC

Not to be confused with that one place that makes pretty good chicken, I’m talking about the protagonists of two of the best RPGs ever made, Undertale and Deltarune.

For those unaware, KFC is the trio name of Frisk, Undertale’s protagonist, Chara, Undertale’s narrator and Kris, Deltarune’s narrator. Despite them being the main characters, they’re not characterised too strongly as you are in control of them for most of the game, minus Chara who specifically says you aren’t in control of them. Due to it being canon to the games that you are playing as these characters, the Internet started a rumour that they are whatever gender you want them to be, which was just never true. Undertale is packed with trans representation, and these three are no exception. It’s the whole reason I added them to the list actually, just to get the message across if anyone was unsure; they’re all Nonbinary.

Frisk and Kris, despite only having glimmers of their true characters in the game, are still very lovable and intriguing with their actions. Even just the idea of these two being controlled, which is more of a heavy theme in Deltarune, is enough to make you interested in their characters, especially when Kris starts fighting back against you. This entire section is just gonna be a couple paragraphs of me fighting back the urge to yap about Undertale lore so you’ll have to forgive me. Chara, being the only one not under your control, has a much stronger character through the lines of dialogue from them or said about them, the latter usually being more interesting as it gives you insight to their tragic life.

Undertale is one of my favourite and given the amount of rep it’s given us, I had to pay homage to its own main characters on this list. Even though I’m hungry cause now I’m thinking about KFC.

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine Nine)

I think it’s been a year since I finished tumblr’s favourite sitcom and while Jake was lovable, he didn’t stand out to me too much. Still, this guy suffered from that overconfidence but riddled with insecurity personality which lead to him being inevitably headcanonned (it’s a word I decided) as trans masculine. I don’t know what the correlation is between those kinds of characters and the transmasc headcanon, maybe it’s the desire to present as being that confident, maybe it’s being that confident but still held back by struggles about your gender identity but that’s neither here nor there.

What is here and is there is that this show was amazing for trans people, even if only in small ways and Jake was no exception to that. He was funny and watching him grow through those eight seasons gives you one of the most satisfying and heart throbbing conclusions to a TV show, largely due to his presence as the main character. Even though it’s not canon that he was trans masculine, the Headcanon is so popular that I had to pay homage to him and add him to the list.

Jack Kennedy (DSAF)

Is this fandom so dead and so unpopular that I couldn’t find a good gif? Yes. Am I gonna talk about it anyway because I love these games and I want an excuse and this is my day? Yes.

Anyway, Jack Kennedy was the main protagonist of the Day Shift at Freddy’s games and if you don’t know what those are, there’s a 50% chance you had an alright childhood. DSaF is obviously a fan game of the more well known horror franchise Five Nights at Freddy’s and I think they are some of the best fa games ever made. They’re hilarious, they’re so low budget it’s insane, it can give you the hardest tonal whiplash of not taking itself seriously to one of the hardest stories you’ve ever went through seamlessly and I don’t even get a fuck. The story told by these games is done so well and evokes so many emotions but one important thing it’s done is actually be really great for queer rep.

Despite it being played for more of a joke in the earlier games, the two characters Jack and Dave Millie clearly have romantic chemistry and that was so important back when the games released since they became so mainstream due to being attached to a popular franchise. Many fans headcanon Jack Kennedy as being non binary, which is a label that I think really works for them, mainly because it fits for the protagonists of roleplay games to be non binary. I can’t explain why, it just makes presenting the character to the audience so much easier and makes them a lot easier to play without having to worry too much about the gender of the character.

Anyway, Jack’s a self described asshole with a noble goal, and playing as them really gives you a feel of their character and makes you understand why this little known indie franchise snuck into so many people’s hearts.

Bridget (Guilty Gear Rising)

You know I had to end off the list with one of the most iconic, canon, transfem characters out of there. Pretty much every single transfem has heard of Brisket and not a single one has played Guilty Gear Rising, I had to look up the name of this game just before this to make sure I got the right one.

Bridget has recently become a meme on the Internet, with every other transfem having her in her pfp, Bridget became a staple in the community. As stated, I can’t talk too much about her character but seeing the Internet come together to just appreciate this one transfem character, despite their being obvious hate and pushback and claiming her being canon transfem was a ‘mistranslation’ (to my knowledge) was actually really heart warming.

I didn’t really get trans day of visibility too much, I was happy for it, thought it was cool we got a day but it didn’t really help us all that much. But the more I thought about Bridget is the more that I saw just how good it can feel when people come together. It doesn’t have to be a movement or a call to action to save trans people from another bill trying to wipe them out, which is just depressing to listen to, it can just be as simple as joking about this character that barely any of us know. That level of community made me understand what this day was actually about; finding common ground and letting at least one other person know that they’re not alone, that there’s so many people just like you out there, that went through the exact same thing as you did at some point. And to let you know, those people turned out fine, so you’ll be okay too.

Happy trans day of viability everyone, even if this list only reaches one person to let them know they’re not alone, I’ll be happy with that.

Anyway, ignore the emotional stuff there, here’s my honourable mention of

EVERY SINGLE SPIDERMAN, SPIDERWOMAN, SPIDERPERSON, TO EVER EXIST, THEY’RE ALL TRANS, YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[madockisser]

Why do you wanna kiss Madoc?

not sure if ppl are actually weirded out by my user or not, which most certainly is not my intention, but i feel the need to rant abt my thoughts on madoc! i also don’t wanna deter anyone bc of my user 😭! btw i totally understand if u hate him w all your guts like truly i get it but don’t hate on me for not! my user is mostly a joke! (also i LOVE cardan and jude sm more than madoc obviously just the “madockisser” user is funnier and so few ppl talk abt madoc so i feel the need to 😭)

madoc raised 3 children that weren’t his, was willing to risk quite literally everything to become king so his poor mortal daughters will be treated like princesses in a world where they’re treated like garbage. madoc has his faults(like trying to make poor oakey pokey king), but a lot of them can be chalked up to his redcap nature, being bloodthirsty and power hungry and just not understanding jude and her morals since their morals and life experiences are just SO different

him and jude have the same goal, except madoc and his nature, his morals, make the execution of that goal and the endpoint a bit different. jude is trying to save oak from being king so he won’t have to grow up bloodthirsty and drenched in blood like she did, while madoc is trying to make oak king, which he thinks is obviously the best thing he can do for him since madoc is so power hungry.

in their own eyes, they each think what they have planned for oak is best, and obviously to madoc making his son king after slaughtering nearly the rest of the greenbriar bloodline which solidifies his succession to the throne is a great boon, and in his eyes, jude isn’t trying to keep him from doing that to protect oak, (since he doesn’t understand that jude grew up so miserably) he sees jude trying to take/keep oaks throne from him.

jude says in her inner monologue at some point that she’s sure that madoc would relinquish the throne to oak when he’s of age, since he’s a man of honor or wtv, and madoc obv thinks this is just the best course for oak. why wouldn’t madoc want his children powerful and bloodthirsty? he wants them to be like him, and more than that, he doesn’t want them to slave away for a greenbriar like madoc did to eldred and balekin and dain(which he reveals in the stolen heir duo)

another thing is his morals when it comes to dain. he was livid in a way oriana had never seen when he heard about what dain did to oak and liriope. which makes perfect sense for him because he has honor enough to not slaughter a woman for being pregnant and by extent taking the life of the child inside just to remain in power and in favor.

dain did something that madoc inherently disagreed w. so madocs decision was obviously to betray him and run him through after replanning. it’s just in his nature. he replans, betrays, and resorts to murder when it matters lol. he does the same (sorta) w balekin by using him as a ploy to get oaks throne. balekin who has human slaves treated terribly, while madoc had a human wife and human children. i’m shocked balekin didn’t see madocs betrayal coming.

and even tho jude did something he inherently disagreed w/ and didn’t try to understand (which frustrates me sm) he gives her so many chances to come back to his side, he gives her advice, he gives her chances, betraying his nature for his daughter until qon, when he finally resorts to murder. fucking devastating.

on a lighter note, i do think it’s funny tho that despite it all he was still a better father than eldred and dain, and better guardian than balekin. though i will say that i do NOT excuse so many of madocs actions (bc he causes my poor baby jude so much pain), and when i’m actively rereading esp during qon i do in fact hate that mf, …i just think he’s dilf-y.

unrelated but he’s like the lead of a monster romance. holly black actually has another green sweetheart-chemist murdery bf, in her book valiant, but he’s too niche like nobody knows abt him which is so sad bc he’s sooooo cute and sweet. “ravuskisser” would be my user

i love reading his and jude’s dynamic, i love reading abt him and eva and him and oriana. i love in tpt when he FINALLY says something abt eva, finally understanding why she left him, and him owning up to his mistakes, but then saying , “but if it were not for my mistakes, i would not have the family i have today.” 😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO, the exile. it was so necessary. madoc living amongst humans helps him realize so much about eva, jude and taryn. “since humans have a shorter lifespan, they would risk much for happiness.” he says (not word for word) in tpt when speaking of eva, but ofc it also applies to jude and taryn.

anyway i guess moral of the story i like madoc bc daddy issues ig and also his complexity, holly black is a genius at writing morally grey faeries w diff mindsets! also how jude describes him to be a “tall man” the second he’s on the page like damn i get it eva and ori! anyway even holly black supports madoc kissers like me so don’t judge me!

[infinizero]

Cale Henituse and Bruce Wayne differences popped into my head recently

They both,, very much cherish life but

Bruce would never kill anyone because he wants to save everyone

While Cale wants to preserve all the (relatively) innocent lives he possibly can

That is not to say that one of these things are wrong. I think that choosing to confront the worse society has to offer and deciding that their lives are worth enough to try saving is quite noble. I also think that choosing to get rid of the people who are simply irredeemable, who wouldn't live very happily even if they were somehow redeemed, is also noble.

The biggest difference between them in this aspect, is probably how much they enforce this rule on others and to what lengths they would go for this.

Bruce would choose to save the person in front of him if he could, even if it meant they would kill many others in the future. Cale would choose to let a victim of theirs dole out revenge even if it meant they died. (Raon choosing not to kill Venion v Ron and Beacrox and the assassin families that joined WS)

Which comes to my biggest gripe about Bruce

I got so annoyed thinking of this while writing that crossover I think Cale will probably embody this in it oops

Bruce doesn't kill people, that's fine, but why the hell did he save Joker from dying? Because he doesn't want his son to have blood on his hands?

So he won't stop killing when he starts? What kinda bullshit excuse is that, is self-control a myth to men? He realizes he won't be able to stop himself from murdering someone? Hang up the cowl. Cass is literally right there.

So Batman loses if he kills the Joker? So what? It's not a game. It's not a game. It's not a game. Important things need to be said thrice. So you lose the fight. So you end the single person who could not be redeemed if anyone tried, the person who killed your son specifically to get at you. Retire. Get therapy. Get better.

So his tragedy shaped him, so his ambition of helping people motivates him, then help in other ways. Hasn't this taken enough from you already? Aren't you tired? He is quite literally a billionaire. This money could be used for so many other things, just as or more helpful as his vigilantism has proved to be.

This post has derailed quite a bit whoopsie

Cale's faults, to me at least, are entirely rooted in his emotional constipation, something he shares with Bruce. I can't even blame him for it because *gestures at his life as KRS, then at his very busy life in Roan*

Anyways MOVING ON

A slight elaboration on all that would be that Bruce has contingencies in place should he die. He has successors and an entire system. Cale... Does not and the closest thing to a successor he has is Raon/On who are 6/12 as of the current canon and one is an op dragon who would destroy worlds if he dies. Bruce can die, but the repercussions wouldn't destroy the world. Cale, on the other hand...

Which takes me to how willing they are to break the law. Obv Bruce has vigilantism under his belt while Cale is a certified Scammer (exhibit... Everything), Arsonist (sea of fire anyone?), Terrorist (that time he kidnapped a king), has destroyed public property (an entire fucking island x2), has stolen items of great religious and historic significance (all the divine items, but is it really theft if it was just laying there?), led a civil revolution (elisneh and jopis), smuggling (cage and taylor into capital), and this post will be way too long if I continue.

The way they treat their subordinates/partners/kids!!!

Different versions of batman have different ways of doing it, but for the purpose of this post he is trying dad bruce (aka not the best but he is trying)

I think this is the biggest difference between them, actually, because Cale acts and tells the people around him the things they need and Bruce just... Doesn't communicate much. Somehow, they have the same communication issues and somehow they have the same emotional constipation. Somehow Cale still properly motivates his people better than Bruce does.

I feel like I've been shitting on Bruce this entire post but I genuinely can't think of anything he does that is better than Cale. Um. Oh yeah I guess his cause is technically more noble than Cale, do I think his methods are stupid? Yes. Do I like the stories that spring up from this anyways? Also yes.

This may or may not feel rushed because for some reason it posted while in draft stage but feel free to add

[thedeerman]

ummm someone tell me why listening to system/BOOT PearlFinal (3) from the SU Movie just gave me the wildest fucking Hazbin AU concept (this is fucking long pls forgive me)

So- Steven Universe Movie x Hazbin Hotel. All of them have just had their memories wiped, their 'default' personalities reset, and not having any idea who they once were. you get to really see what each character would have been like had they not faced whatever horrible thing landed them in Hell to begin with.

Going through that song in particular made me really think, guys. Hear me out.

Lucifer is Rose/Pink in this, so he wouldn't really be there.

Obv Charlie takes her rightful place as Steven, as she is literally, in almost all fucking ways, Adult Demon Steven Universe. Take out the aliens and add in the bible and you got Charlie Morningstar

Lilith is Pearl- She fell in love with the angel that took a liking to her, dedicating everything about her existence to Lucifer. Even when it came to giving up everything, she did it for him. Reset, she's just as dedicated but has no one to give that dedication to. Until...

Yes, ALASTOR HAS TO BE GREG. Lilith may have come from Eden with Lucifer, by his side from the very beginning, but after all those years, I never thought I'd lose... Also, the whole 'pearl latching on to greg as her new diamond' thing makes that EXTRA hilarious. Charlie's gonna be all "Mom, don't you recognize them? Don't you recognize me?" Lilith's overly helpful ass is gonna be like "Hmmmm... Well I certainly recognize my Um Radio Demon!" And Al just, "...Oh boy."

Angel is Ruby, even if he hadn't been raised in the mafia, I'd like to think that Angel would be a solid badass mf either way, dedicated to protecting what he cares about.

Husk is Sapphire, ever think that maybe the reason the oddly wise bartender always seems to know everything isn't because he's a bartender? Uh oh, secret's out, Husky. (not to mention the idea of Huskerdust 'isn't it love' is killing me)

Niffty is Amethyst- except an amethyst is big, and strong... this one is not the best example, something is clearly wrong! (im sorry i have no self control). anyway yall can't tell me that cute little reset 'who am i? whats going on? idk, lemme just copy this guy over here' Niffty wouldn't be the best fucking thing

Now, I don't think it even needs saying that Sir Pentious needs to be Peridot, if you show me both of their pictures I will say 'that's the same picture'

And that means Cherri takes her role as Lapis, which I fuckin adore

As much as I'd like to make Vaggie be Connie, Connie is entirely absent the whole movie lmao and I also think that Bismuth is a damn good gem for Vaggie anyway. Bold, determined, has a deadly hatred of the place she came from and will do anything to defend her new home (gay as shit)

And for spinel, I'm not 100% sure. I'm thinking it could be an adamsapple situation where Adam was left in Eden, forever waiting for Lucifer to return despite the fact that he's essentially dead to the rest of Heaven. once he finds out about Lucifer having made a life for himself in Hell, he goes to take out his jealousy on Charlie and the others. and when he's reset he goes back to a silly, fun loving innocent guy that wants nothing but to make others happy.

Uhhhh oops that got long, im Very Normal about these two shows, guys. i swear.

[sapphicdib]

"i could gush about my sig headcanons all day but auuughvjgghh". You know what, do it. I dare you. After that sleepy iterators post I'm itching for more headcanons to ponder.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY LATE, IVE BEEN WORKING A LOT

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A CATEGORY 10 AUTISM MOMENT ON THE DASH. this is legit about to be a better essay than anything ive ever turned in for university so strap in, obv everything is gonna be under the cut bc this is prolly gonna be long as fuck

Okay! My main headcanons for Sig are:

He uses he/she/it pronouns, but mainly he/she!

He's a bioengineering dork.

She's a specialized medical facility!

She doesn't really care much about the great problem, and thus has a lot of hobbies. He knitted her own scarf!

She has a lot of friends, even outside of the local group. He's incredibly close with Chasing Wind.

He's a mid-gen iterator, (Ages being: LTTM, SRS, SOS, CW, NSH, UI, FP), so his emotional AI is a lot more advanced than Suns' (there's quite a gap between the two, Suns is closer to Moon in terms of age).

She considers Hunter to be her daughter, Hunter calls him her dadmom and Moon her mom.

He tends to bury these emotions down for the sake of others, which leads to...bad situations.

She's terrified of being alone :)

Sig just gives me gender fucky-wucky vibes. Her pronouns are the/bit and he's committed to it. There's not really a basis for this in canon but it just fits his personality of being pretty laid back and goofy when not in um. emotional distress. Also the accessorizing to his puppet (ie the scarf) makes me think he likes to experiment with her appearance and presentation. To add on to this in the streamer au she goes by any pronouns and is pretty androgynous, so none of his followers can tell his AGAB, and its funny to him to watch the chat argue about it. (He's AFAB, tbh I can't see her as anything else). No one can guess his sexuality either, the only "confirmed" thing seems to be polyamourous, but other than that it's "whatever makes it gay", or "whatever pisses you off most".

Sig obviously has a knack for bioengineering, as he was the one who started investigating the idea of using purposed messengers to stay in contact with others once the comms degraded, not to mention the creation of the slag reset keys. Yes this is my incoming rant of "Sig is not bad at making slugcats", since sometimes people tend to act like "Sig didn't follow Suns' instructions" or something like that, and that's why Hunter is sick. There are MULTIPLE points in their conversations where it's outright stated that Sig was the one who did it first:

Sig was the one who showed Suns the process:

SRS: I purposed a messenger, and sent the information by land via a data pearl. NSH: How original of you. SRS: I learned from the best.

Sig clearly has experiences with messengers, and Spearmaster happens before Sig begins working on Hunter:

NSH: I feel like I need to be simplifying my speech patterns. Is that something you do when conversing with your messenger?

SUNS SAYS "ANOTHER" MESSENGER, AND THEN LATER SIG SAYS "ANOTHER MESSENGER" AS WELL. SIG HAS MADE MESSENGERS BEFORE:

SRS: Do you suppose you'll ever raise another messenger?

NSH: I'm tempted to start work on raising another messenger as a last ditch effort, but to be honest I don't think there is any point.

And then, in her reply, she says, "*I* started investigating the method".

NSH: If the need arises, I certainly would. After all, I started investigating the method out of the inevitability of our situation.

And just to nail it down that Sig was the one who purposed them first, the gossip between Wandering Omen and Pleading Intellect:

PI: You haven't heard about what No Significant Harassment did? WO: All I heard was the complaining. Didn't he send an iterator something distasteful? PI: Well, yes, but more importantly, he trained a purposed organism to deliver it!

WO: How do you even get a dull creature such as that to follow orders? I may consider asking him to teach me his ways.

So yes, Sig was the one to purpose the messengers first. She had already made at least one in the past, to send the "distasteful message" to someone. I'd honestly say he probably made more between that/before, to test the efficacy and also just to mess around with the process.

This leads into my next headcanon: Sig was a specialized medical facility! Five Pebbles mentions to Hunter that "I was not a medical facility even when the equipment was functioning," so I believe that there were some more specialized iterators built. Sig's knowledge of bioengineering could be an indication of this specialization, not to mention it fits with him not really caring about the great problem to the same degree as everyone else. Purely headcanon after this point, but when Sig was first built, Moon was very nervous about getting a new model of "specialized" iterator that she wouldn't be able to help train as well! Moon was a more generalized iterator as she was older, so she does have knowledge about medicine and bioengineering, as all iterators did for the health and growth of her city, but nothing to the degree Sig would need. Thankfully, iterators are fucking supercomputers, so its not like Sig needed much "training" in the way of that, but still. Moon wanted to be a good mentor to her! And she very much was, considering how Sig turned out. That's why they ended up so close.

After the mass ascension, he became the resident "doctor" of the local group. Pointing back to the slag reset keys, Sig seems to have shoved as many as he could into that thing, since Pebbles reacts to the amount of them with surprise, so he knows his way around iterator biology. In pure headcanon mode now, when they develop my tangible projections thing (which Sig and Moon were heavily involved in), it meant that she could actually help others by preforming repairs on their puppets, and even their structures by sending her overseer into them. Moon's inspectors enjoy head pats from her whenever he's passing by.

Her being a medical facility also means she doesn't give as much thought to finding the Triple Affirmative as others. His processing power was delegated more towards finding cures, aiding the sick, and engineering better production techniques for medical equipment and such. His city is also highly accessible and optimized for the disabled and elderly. When you're a medical facility, your goal is more to keep people alive than perma-kill them! I mostly get this headcanon from the fact that when Suns is faced with "what to do" other than solve the great problem, they respond with "What else CAN we do? You're stuck in your can, and at any moment you have no more than two alternatives: Do nothing, or work like you're supposed to.". Meanwhile, Sig responds to Suns' question about purposing another messenger with "There's nothing better for me to do with my time, though.". Not to mention, he was already purposing messengers before this, so she certainly wasn't dedicating all of her time to iterating the great problem! Of course, he probably did iterate on it, just not to the degree his peers did. He also jokes about it in that broadcast where Wind is telling everyone about erratic pulse, saying "Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along!" so it really seems like he doesn't take it very seriously.

Her disinterest in solving the problem led to her developing a wide range of hobbies. He's an iterator after all, they probably get horrifically bored if they're not doing something! She taught herself to knit (telling his citizens it helped her focus so they would provide her with needles and yarn), and eventually learns to make garments as well. I headcanon he plays video games too, especially with Chasing Wind, mostly just because she probably wanted to see if an iterator could run Doom for the lolz. Probably also trolls in the group chats sometimes, considering the "distasteful pearl", and I think her being being NGI ("No Great Ideas") would be funny as hell. This also makes it pretty obvious why I made the streamer au, Sig's a top level player for multiple FPS games and has won some pretty prestigious awards in esports tournaments. And then she goes home and plays Hollow Knight randomizers with Pebbles in a maid outfit.

Sig's personality also lent itself to having a lot of friends. Her and Chasing Wind were built less than 50 cycles apart (Wind is older), so they're practically attached at the hip. Wind isn't in her local group (He's in Sliver's), but they're still very close. It's not really explored much in canon since we really only see her interact with Suns for the most part, but given her personality, I don't think it'd be a far off assumption for him to have lots of friends. Because she's younger, she also has a more sophisticated emotional AI...which can be detrimental at times, but is helpful when it comes to maintaining friendships!

AHAH So here comes the um. SAD portion of the rant lol. I feel like Sig buries her emotions down a lot, for the sake of others. In her conversations with Suns, we do see him get snappy with him, but for the most part he remains either calm or sympathetic, at the most a bit pessimistic towards the end. When she finally does call Suns out for their bullshit, he (presumably) stops replying to Suns for a short time before apologizing and continuing to talk to them.

SRS: I'm in noticing you are becoming more defensive. This obviously wasn't the end result I was aiming for, you know. SRS: Please respond to my messages. I don't want to leave it like this. I need someone to talk to. NSH: I don't mean to be cold, I'm just very worried.

After this interaction, Sig seems to either just reply with facts/possibly explanations for Moon/Pebbles' actions, or completely changing the subject to Suns' messenger, which then leads to the broadcast where Suns is telling her all the ways they modified their messenger to sneak past Sig's overseers, by not giving them the mark and hiding the pearl, we see Sig's replies become very short, single sentence answers.

This to me reads as slightly passive aggressive, but Suns doesn't seem to pick up on it. To be honest I in my head I hear this as Sig hissing this shit through clenched teeth if he could, but it's just text so I suppose we'll never know.

Additionally, he still does let his emotions overwhelm her at points, (such as during the "Your plan was a complete failure" broadcast), but the most blatant is probably in the messages she sends to Moon and Pebbles.

Starting with the Pebbles one:

NSH: Five Pebbles, I will say once again. You need to stop. Immediately. NSH: I know you are going to trash this message like the rest, but... NSH: I hope eventually when you are out of this state of mind you will look back at these. NSH: Look back and reflect on all the regrets you've set yourself up to have.

Sig is angry. Like he shows no sympathy for him, and just hopes he wallows in regret for the rest of his life. She does express his dislike of Pebbles while talking to Suns as well, but manages to still be nice by saying "I think a lot of us were like that in the beginning.", and such, and then drops the subject by the next broadcast by talking about Suns' messenger. He only ever talks about Moon's condition, likely to keep himself from being a dick about Pebbles in front of Suns because talking directly about him is obviously pretty touchy. But this broadcast is straight up mean. She doesn't manage to hold back her emotions but to be honest? I don't think he actually cares, if he burns that bridge with Pebbles then fine, because Pebbles burned it first.

Pebbles took away one of the few friends he still had in this dying world.

I really and truly believe that Sig's biggest fear is being alone. She makes the slugcats as a way to keep in contact with others after the comms arrays degrade. After being snappy with Suns, she immediately backtracks, apologizes, and keeps talking to them, even if it hurts. His messages to Moon also emphasize this:

NSH: Moon? Moon, are you able to communicate?

NSH: Moon? It's me again.

NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay.

The fact that we are provided two of these broadcasts and not just one seems to point to the idea that these are not the only two Sig sent. "It's me again." There is more desperation in her tone compared to the messages he shares with Suns, possibly because he's more comfortable expressing his profound distress with Moon because they're closer. A part of me headcanons she...never stopped sending messages. He needs to know she's okay. You can even find a green overseer in outer expanse and subterranean, locked out of the facility but still searching, still looking for any sign of Moon...or Hunter.

When Sig sends Hunter to Moon, the pearl he sends is goofy and lighthearted. He doesn't want to bring her down when she's already suffering enough. It's short, and sweet, because anything longer would probably devolve into something unpleasant. She's holding the words on that pearl together with tape and glue. Once again, hiding the pure grief he feels for the sake of others.

I also think that's why Hunter is sick. Once again, pure headcanon, but Sig mentions this on the pearl:

Excuse the unorthodox delivery method, equipment eroding etc etc.

I kinda interpret this as Sig pushing herself too hard to make Hunter in time to save Moon, and in turn, irreversibly damaging himself in the process. An emergency shutdown occurred after he ignores the 50th pressure warning his systems desperately tried to get her to pay attention to, causing Hunter to become sick thanks to the sudden disruption in his concentration, much like Pebbles and the rot. This is also why no other messengers were sent after this, Sig simply couldn't make any more that were healthy. She loved Hunter, and I fully believe that, as Hunter's last vision in the void sea was to return to his arms. Continuing the pure headcanons now, but he treats Hunter like a daughter and knits her a scarf for her journey. She tells Hunter that Moon is her mom. She gives Hunter a name, which were held in very high regard in ancient culture, a gift so she can at least be remembered for her sacrifice: "Hunting the Stars, Moon's Savior."

All and all, Sig is desperately trying to delay the inevitable, watching the walls of loneliness close in as she loses contact with friends, slowly encroaching on her until he's locked up in a box. Alone.

HOWEVER!

I for one, absolutely adore the goofy, flirty personality the fandom gives Sig. I really do believe when he isn't in extreme emotional distress, she is like that. The motherfucker uses tildes in his texts and teases Suns and makes jokes about slimers and lizards. I just like peeling apart the little snippets we see of him, which are mostly at pretty low moments unfortunately, and just seeing what I can extrapolate from that. Even if some of my headcanons are far-fetched and shit, I do at least try to keep most of them at least slightly in character with some explanation.

I hope you enjoyed my unhinged rant about my favorite guy!!!! I put this in google docs and its literally like, 2.4k words, I could genuinely have turned this in to one of my fucking college courses LMFAO. It's probably better than some of the garbage I DID turn in tbh. If you want more I am totally happy to provide, cuz I could make a whole OTHER ramble about Hunter that's just as long LMAOOOO

(Oh also none of this applies to rot au Sig. that freak deserves her own post bc at this point he's 50% oc and 50% No Significant Harassment Rain World LOL)

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I'm the only one that thinks the more Dana shares information about Caleb the worse he gets? I mean the show stated that he never truly believed in witch hunting and only did it to fit in, but his little brother is to blame for believing a lie he was willing to tell him over and over. (I would be in denial too if someone close to me reveals that everything they told me they never truly believed) I mean what Phillip does is obv. wrong , but Caleb doesn't seem like a good person either.

Honestly, that was my impression as well. The show is extremely vague on what exactly Caleb believes because all we have are the Hollow Mind portraits and they show Caleb playing "witch hunter" with baby Philip and the two participating in what could be a real witch hunt with pitchforks. Caleb looks enthusiastic and determined in these portraits, so it's no wonder that Philip thought he actually held these beliefs.

But then Dana describes Caleb and Evelyn meeting as being like two dog owners bonding over animals and that Evelyn saw Caleb as the only decent human guy, so she shows him Flapjack. I guess this means that any preconceived notions about witchcraft vanished and he either rather easily disavowed everything he was raised with in order to get with the cute witch lady, or he was pretending the whole time and effectively helped indoctrinate his brother. Either option doesn't paint him in the best light.

Still, Dana does say that anything she says outside of the show are just her head canons and that the audience is free to ignore them. But let's be honest here, the majority of the fandom will latch onto anything she says because we're not getting further TOH content for the foreseeable future.

I find it hard to believe that Caleb never believed in witch-hunting because why encourage his brother--even playing games with him--when he knows it's wrong? It's more likely that he did believe in it, albeit half-heartedly and thought he was doing the right thing until Evelyn showed him the literal light.

The problem lies in the question: did Caleb ever tell Philip? Did he ever try to persuade Philip that witches weren't evil? Caleb and Evelyn used the rebus to communicate in code and according to Masha, would travel between dimensions. Did Caleb ever try to bring Philip along?

Unfortunately, we don't have answers to these questions, we only have Philip's reaction, which was to immediately go into the Demon Realm to kill Evelyn and "free" his brother. These don't sound like the actions of a man who has the full story. So when he discovers Caleb alive and with a family, he would more than rightly feel angry and betrayed.

And since Dana is okay with us ignoring any answers in the Post Hoot, I think that's what happened: that Caleb deliberately withheld information from Philip in the misguided belief that he would be better off in Gravesfield and never attempted to talk to Philip, effectively dooming them both.