#obv it matters but what more can I do right now than reblog posts and wish good will

[griancraft]

It’s kinda weird to me that just now you’re posting about Palestine after almost a month of the genocide happening. It feels performative. :/

Hey man I get being upset but I’ve been offline more often than not because I live in a severely emotionally abusive household + I am in the worst mental health crisis of my life, and it’s really bad like a good 60% of the time. Give me some leeway here, I’m reading the sources people send me and doing my own research when I have the time and energy. I know this is a like. Incredibly lackluster statement or whatever but like I said above I am not doing well at all. Hope you have a good day man, sorry if I disappointed you.

[romanarose]

Hello there ✨️ love your work 💕 I'm a long time fan 🫶🏼. I've been on tumblr a few years now, but I'd never found the courage to post anything of my own til now. I've been feeling a little optimistic these days, and genuinely excited about posting some of my writing and sharing it with the people out here. Do you have any advice on how to start posting and interacting from scratch? Cause I'm low-key nervous abt it and it seems like my target audience has already formed a solid community I don't know how to get into 🥺

Wow, this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me wowie!!!!!!

okay let me tell my advice

The numbers don't equal quality. Certain things appeal to people more, like shorter stories, straight up smut, Joel Miller gets way more than when I write Marc. I think one of my best works was my Marc X Jewish!Reader series, Seattle, but it idnt get anywhere really even at the height of moon knight popularity bc people dont read OC's esp ethnic oc's. Put your heart into it and those who enjoy it will enjoy it. I had a William Miller series that averaged like 8-20 notes per chapter but I had a handful of readers I knew adored it and thats what mattered

This site is so much better with interaction. PLEASE DON"T ONLY INTERACT FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING FRIENDS WHO"LL REBLOG!! However, if you dont already, make sure you are reblogging stories and leaving nice words! Me personally, if someone reblogs regularly and leave nice words, espcially things that show they really paid attention, I usually just follow back bc I love friends. Im happy to get to know you!

Yes, it's hard sometimes to break it. It took a few months for me to get into the Oscar Issac writer circles, and then when I started writing Pedro it took a while too but I always reblogged and tried to communicate and I made friends. Isn't it crazy we can just.... become friends with our fav writers? Obvs Im not friends with all my favs but MOST of my favs became my friends <3

It's kinda annoying to me bc Im bad at it but aesthetics help. Title, a picture to catch eyes, summary, warnings, note. Try to make it look nice. Im really had at this LMFAOOOOOO. My lovely friends have made my best looking banners. If you have graphic design skills, use them! i wish i didn't have to but it does help catch readers when you have an interesting headers and everything looks pretty.

Few technicals. Use the readmore option. No one wants to reblog a LOOOOOONG story and clog up the feeds. Use as many correct tags as you can. Tag any triggering content. And I'm the worst at this but proof read. Im bad at proof reading, everyone who reads my work knows spelling, grammar, wrong words are a common issue I have bc Im bad at typing. When I still had word on my laptop I started typing in word and using text to speach to help me catch stuff!

Keep at it! IDK where you know my work, weather moon knight, triple frontier or tlou or whatever but all those fandoms right now are like.... a little less active. So don't be dissapointed if it takes a while. With TLOU, theres SOOOOOOO many amazing writers. With Moon Knight theres just less buzz rn. If you write for lesser known characters like Llewyn Davis or Will Miller, you probs won't reach the notes of established writers in Joel Miller. Just the reality. the point is keep going, find what you like and what gets people excited and go from there

This is the most important. Write what you want. I mean it. I love writing Will Miller because he's my special man <3 even though it's a small fanbase. My series Rooms On Fire, a lot have lost interest bc its a long series. That's okay! I love the series and it makes me happy to write it. I wrote a few Miguel O'Hara stories because, I'm being honest here, I wanted to capitalize on the hype. Guess what? They weren't good. I'm not proud of them. Since then, I write what Im inspired to.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN AND IF AT ANY POINT, IT"S NOT FUN STOP AND FIGURE OUT WHY

feel free to say hi off anon! I'm always happy to get to know new people. If you like Triple Frontier, I have a discord server that is pretty much open to everyone! I'm trying to revive it and you can share your works and meet knew people!

Anon or not, let me know if you have any questions!

[arctichotch]

So I found that post anon was talking about where they said, "I once saw you reply to someone regarding something about not watching/listening to what lawyers say about the case because "they know way more than me about the law, so I'm not gonna watch because and I'd just have to take their word for it."

and you replied, "lmao literally never said that."

And here's what you said, "yeah he’s a barrister. he knows 100x more than me about law. that’s also another reason i wouldn’t watch it because i don’t know anything about this topic. he could tell me the judge has to recite “god save the queen” every 15 mins in court and id have to believe him because he knows more than i do."

And yeah gotta agree with anon, you did pretty much say that. It might not be what you meant, but in a nutshell you did come across that way.

Also, only semi related because this was in your reply on the same post, "also i don’t see how me making on little mistake, literally being 1 off, counts as “posting misinformation”" (It was about JD's appeals)

I actually remember seeing that exchange here too. I can't find it for some reason, maybe you deleted it idk, but it wasn't a tiny mistake. You said JD lost two appeals and therefore 3 judges had found him guilty, when that wasn't true at all. He lost to the one judge in the UK trial and was denied any appeals, so he couldn't have lost any, let alone two of them. That's not a small mistake and I'd like to think you know that.

What happened to you? I thought you used to be good at correcting yourself when you got facts wrong, but scrolling through I see from just the other day another anon tried to clear up something else you had reblogged/posted that wasn't true and you just laughed it off and said it didn't matter?

Like you used to be good about this. Even if we didn't agree on absolutely everything I knew you at least seemed like you tried to keep things factual around here?? Either you changed or I just misjudged you from the start. It's disappointing. I know things are rough with you right now, but don't let it turn you into this troll like person who no longer cares about facts. Idk if you can consider therapy as a possible option, but it can help you work through things if you need it.

the top part is out of context tho? like yeah i said that i wouldn’t believe that specific lawyer because he knows more than me AND he’s obvs pro depp, therefore whatever he says TO ME, someone who knows nothing about law, could be easily twist to fit this case or whatever. it would be more beneficial to consider what others have put forth on the case who also haven’t been making like 100 youtube videos on it.

it was in relation to that 1 specific guy. not lawyers as a whole, which i what i understood anon to be saying - that i wouldn’t listen to any lawyers simply because they know more than me. which is untrue.

as for the “misinformation” thing. i had previously thought JD had appealed 2 times after the original UK case, making it 2 judges + 1 judge (the main UK judge) which equals 3 judges overall. then an anon i believe, informed me he had appealed in the UK once.

which now looking back i see that was also wrong, but also he was denied the chance to appeal - which is another judge saying he had no prospect of winning the case again or whatever the fuck. i can’t quite remember when this was, but the UK trial has always been more of an afterthought for me because the US one is more recent and problematic in the social stratosphere. so yes i made a mistake, perhaps didn’t look into things enough in relation to the UK trial technicalities, but like how does that change anything lmao??? there’s still solid, concrete evidence of him having abused amber. and obviously the main UK judge saw that. so have domestic violence experts - who are obviously way more prepared to talk about all this than me

idk what you’re referring to from the other day tbh so i can’t comment on that one (EDIT i actually see now what you were talking about and i didn’t laugh anything off, i explained why i didn’t think it mattered. and still think it doesn’t matter. it’s completely irrelevant to what’s in the docs and also, it wouldn’t have gone so viral if they hadn’t paid all the money for it - so they did fuck him over by “unsealing” it to the more general public, rather than whoever would have seen it as a result of the judge unsealing it if ya get me)

lmao telling me to get therapy because i repost/post shit about johnny depp being an abuser?? ok… perhaps the weird die hard depp fans saying amber had satanic sex parties should skip the line and go ahead of me

people make mistakes. but like i’m a dumbass with a tumblr stan account posting crap saying johnny depp doesn’t shower or reposting his sick texts with his abuser bestie and things like that, if anyone is taking anything for 100% facts of me alone… then they need to learn to validate their sources and information themselves. i should not be anyones source of information on this. check out @justiceamberheard or idk actual news places, their posts are obviously more coherent than all of mine that i spew out at 2am

anyway, johnny depp is a wife beater, who has violent, freaky deaky fantasies about women. he’s a racist, misogynistic, biphobic, transphobic, violent pig who likes to smash up rooms and people when things don’t go his way 💕

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

to tag on to that post that’s like “why am i nostalgic for my teen years??? bitch i didnt even have fun!!!!” that i’ve reblogged probably in the last few months (im too lazy to go back through my blog to find it if i have, leave me be) .... i think some of the reasons im nostalgic for my teens years are the following:

- no real responsibilities other than homework and assignments that i barely ever did from years 7-10 

- i feel like time went so fucking fast (courtesy of some of my old fb memories posts in various months during 2012 and 2013) that i just wasnt prepared to be in my early teens & 20s- let alone to my mid 20s so fucking soon.

- there was a solid routine in the morning of each term- get up at 6:45am, wash my face and skin care stuff, then straighten my fringe (or sometimes all of my hair, halfheartedly), tie my hair up and have my breakfast etc etc etc. then leave for school

- despite all my jokes about being a Useless Failure Of A Human Being™️ when i left school or whatever, i did have a genuine hope underneath it all that i’d some day hopefully be successful (even if my facebook posts from year 10 to year 12 (ie 2011-2013) weren’t very good tbh).

- oh yeah NO PANDEMIC

- it was ~actually fun~ being an unabashed emo/scene kid lmao- no matter how much i cringe at 12-16yo me’s peak All Time Low Phase™️

- again time just zipped the fuck by and i was suddenly in business college and then uni and then fuck. i had a mental breakdown in postgrad bc it was too much work and pressure and fuck how do i cope. i kinda felt like i’d reached a point, like a stunted point in my emotional growth or whatever once i hit my 20s bc i went through so much stuff in the last 3 years of high school and then some other shit all before age 20 really hit.

- also like. instagram and snapchat weren’t huge so we took loads of corny unedited emo kid photos, but also did edit some of them with shitty 2008/09 nintendo dsi filters or photobucket filters for myspace. like we were actually allowed to be cringy asf and not be instagram/snapchat flawless for a bunch of followers on a constant basis. like yes my haircuts were awful and i do cringe at the stupid poses i did in some of my photos with my friends. but still. we got to have FUN.

- you could look like a fucking hot mess with your makeup. like yes there was a bit of pressure to learn proper makeup, obvs. but generally it was almost like.... like the more of a hot mess you looked, the better. because you were allowed to make mistakes with it. but thank god it wasn’t the level of the YT beauty gurus “baking their face” and whatever other irritating names they can come up with for new techniques.... and having to know exactly what the fuck that is and having to buy $75 setting spray so your face that’s full of $250 or more worth of makeup never falls off your face. i mean, come on! shine bright like a cheeto in your incredibly mismatched maybelline foundation which said it was matte, fuck damn it, but it’s making you look shiny!!!! you can use your strawberry lemonade lip smacker balm as blush to cover up the shiny bits??? but who cares??!! it’s 2000 and fucking 9 babey!!!

but now, if you don’t have an almost professional level of expertise/knowledge and lot of makeup stuff, then it’s a monstrosity. a mistake. what are you? how do you NOT know what baking is in regards to makeup? you fool! no! we don’t care if you’re 14! YOU HAVE TO KNOW CASSANDRA! YOU! HAVE! TO! KNOW! now spend 163863733 hours on youtube to revise your know how and skills, so then you do your makeup better than fredia, who doesn’t EVEN KNOW what blush is and how to apply it. i mean how embarrassing 🙄??? am i right?! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A LIP KIT IS AND WHY YOU NEED IT??? SICKENING. DISGUSTING. YOU HEATHEN. also please spend $100 at sephora on a kylie jenner mega lip kit, boo!!! you do you!!! but if you make a mistake during applying anything in the lip kit or on the rest of your face, EVERYONE WILL KNOW!!! anyway, you get the picture.

like yeah high school did fucking suck for me like it did/does for basically everyone... but god it was much better having a sense of routine in the morning and having at least a minor glimmer of hope that i’d hopefully get somewhere eventually. but that’s all been upended completely by covid and self-isolation. my routine has been out of wack for the past month, with the pandemic rising again in victoria and also in new south wales, with restrictions resetting and stuff again in NSW and vic, like.... will i ever get a job (no matter what is is) in the fucked aussie economy?? just who the fuck knows??? uncertainty sucks.

and also i generally don’t know how to keep to schedule without some 3rd party entity like uni to help. like i miss the structure of on campus study bc i didn’t really have to set that myself, in a way, bc the uni scheduled the classes for the profs in the subjects i had. and i followed the same schedule of doing my face and hair etc every day that i went to uni. but now that’s gone as well.

[incorrectkingkillerquotes]

The Name of the Wind Covers Ranked

So, like many of you, I knew of 5 covers off the top of my head, so I thought I would rank them, cause I have clear favorites. Turns out, there are WAY MORE!!!! (which is silly that I forgot that, obvs all the different countries have v different countries) 

10. I think this is the first edition and wow. . .I mean, it’s relevant. the artist clearly read the book, so I can respect that. He has red hair, he has a lute, the wind is blowing. But like, this style does not do it for me. Maybe he’s shirtless cause like, the shirt he’s wearing is falling apart? And he only has one extra, cause you know. It’s very dramtic, which I suppose is fitting of the story. But like, the style is so dark and dusty and it just looks awkward. But hey, they tried, you know.

1/10 covers

9. Here again, we see some effort. I mean, here are leaves being blown in the wind, so it’s at least a little relevant. But the color scheme is terrible, you can barely see anything on the cover!!! The font is also pretty cool. But what does that face have to do with anything??? Is it one of the Chandrian? idk guys. 

2/10 covers 

8. This is just so . . .generic??? The color scheme is nice, I love a good purple, but I don’t feel like anyone tried. And what is that . . .statue??? It does not feel relevant at all. (btw this is the Portugal cover) 

2.5/10 covers 

7. When they released the cover, I was excited. And then I saw it. It’s not bad, but I didn’t love it. It’s very abstract, which I appreciate. And the color scheme was interesting. And there’s wind and a broken lute, so it’s totally relevant. It’s more personal taste than anything, but I’m not here for it. 

4/10 covers 

6. Okay, so now we are officially switching over to the covers I like. This art style reminds me just a tad of my sister’s, so I like it a little bit more. I also love that Kvothe’s hair is a shock of red, floating around in the grey cover. It’s too long and the wrong style, but he looks young and the color scheme totally works for me. Also, yay, there is also clearly wind on the cover as well!!! The torn shirt is a little much, but you can’t really see it, so it’s still fine for me. (This is also the first Japanese edition.)

6/10 covers 

5. I love this cover, I do. It makes my heart warm. But let’s be critical here: What does anything on the cover have to do with the story itself? There’s a cloaked figure, which I suppose could be Kvothe or Taborlin or anyone for that matter, but like, it’s very ambiguous. And the tree??? It’s not even a willow tree. Maybe it’s a reference to the broken tree, with one of his names? Maedre, right? So I love it but I cannot give it full credit. Great color scheme though. Truly, I love it. (This is one of the American versions, but it was not one of the first ones) (it’s the version I have XD)  

7/10 covers 

4. Again, with the trees and the cloaked figure. Not super relevant. Pretty generic. However, I always love when the title gets to become part of the art and how the cover is framed, and how it looks like one of the mysterious paths in the stories Kvothe loves hearing and telling so much. So thematically, it totally lines up. (This is the UK version) (My WMF copy is this same style XD) 

8/10 covers 

3. Half the reason these are up so high is because there is so MUCH on these three covers!!! It has an unfair advantage, but man, they are so fun!!! And Denna is on one of the covers??? Iconic. Kvothe has his lute in one, the wind is blowing in another, he has a book in the last, all of which are incredibly important parts of the book. Also the style is almost manga, which I love and is very different than the others. Unfortunately, these do not double as a make shift weapon in a fight. (these are the second Japanese editions). 

8.5/10 covers

2. I didn’t plan these out very well, but the more I look at this, the more I loved it, so it managed to squeak its way up the ranks. I love, love the color scheme. It feels dusty and like it belongs on a fairy tale retelling. The wind blowing a cloak, a green cloak, which he has in the books. His hair even looks red. I’m not sure why he has a bow in one hand, that’s never been Kvothe’s weapon of choice, but the whole scene feels like a missing part of the story. It feels oddly peaceful, but ominous, almost like the calm before the storm. So of course, it really fits the series. And the title font!!! So beautiful!!! (this is the Finnish version) 

9/10 covers. 

1. Again, I intended, before I started this post that my number 5 pick would be my number one. And then I looked at all the covers and started writing about them and I just . . . it just fit so well. The color scheme. . .wow. The lute as one of the focal points. The wind blowing everything around. The walking stick???? The title font with that freaking gorgeous “o”. Ugh. Like, I cannot get over this cover. It’s so perfect!!! *sigh* 

Which versions are your favorites? Least favorites? Which ones do you own? Which ones do you want to own? 

(also, yes, I know I left out versions, I can only include so many pictures in one post) (so feel free to reblog with a personal favorite or least favorite!!) 

[demented-dukey]

Your thoughts on what wolfishhel posted in regards to Remus x Roman?

I went to take a look at wolfishhel’s blog, and I assume you’re talking about this post.

I just… *long suffering sigh* I have a lot of feelings and opinions, but i’m not going to get into them all. I’ll try to be succinct, since you asked for my thoughts, but this is gonna be a long post. Buckle up, kiddos.

“Shipping Remus and Roman is incest” - that is debatable. This is an opinion, not a stone cold fact. It is a valid headcanon, but it is not the only headcanon. And even if it is considered incest, that alone is not a reason to stop others from shipping it. I’ve argued this point ad nauseum, so I’m gonna move on.

I won’t call them out over this post. I personally feel like it is aggressive and could be worded better, but I’m not going to pick a fight over it.

(Because of their post, wolfishhel has been added to the Anti-Taglist. They have been noted as “unfollow” since they implied they would block all pro-shippers.)

“there’s absolutely no fuckin way you get to complain when people block your blog.”

I don’t know if this is a vaguepost directed at something I said or not. Blocking… is a complicated issue. People have a right to block anyone for any reason, and they don’t have to justify themselves. People have a right to block anyone because they are afraid of being triggered, and I respect that. Minors have a right to block users that post adult content, and I respect that. What I ~DON’T~ respect is that there are SO MANY antis jumping on the bandwagon to “block” ~ANYONE~ who disagrees with their opinion, instead of just blocking the tags themselves. They had no issue with living alongside us when we were silent, but now that we are voicing a different opinion, they are completely cutting us out of their lives instead of taking responsibility for filtering their own online experience and blocking the tags they don’t want to see. (Again, nothing of what i’m saying in this paragraph is aimed at people who are triggered by this topic.) Pro-Rem/Rom is a tiny, tiny, TINY ship, and most antis would probably NEVER see a THING about it if they weren’t causing such a fuss against it.

“You don’t get to disrespect people because they disagree with the ship.”

This, I 100% agree with. Neither side should be disrespecting people over what they choose to ship or not ship. We can agree to disagree, and it is possible to have different opinions and still accept each other within the same fandom.

“And if they don’t want to interact with you bc they feel the content of your blog is potentially triggering or just otherwise disturbing to them, you DO NOT get to call them toxic for that.”

I also 100% agree with that. No one should be called toxic for not wanting to interact. Anyone who wants to be left out of it should be left alone. The “toxic” fans are the ones who are posting and reblogging messages with hurtful or hostile wording, deliberately antagonizing the pro-shippers, and/or telling other fans what they “are and are not allowed” to ship. (That said, this is NOT my approval for anyone to send anybody asks or PMs calling them toxic to their face. I do not condone sending hatemail on either side.)

My only objection to this whole blocking/unfollow discourse is the blogs that are getting blocked on the basis of a single ship when they are interested in content outside of that ship aswell. Most pro-shippers (not counting my own blog which is obvs disproportionally full of RemRom, as well as specific side-blogs that have been made as RemRom-only) have blogs that will contain very LITTLE to NO RemRom content. IT IS NOT FAIR TO JUDGE AND BLOCK AN ENTIRE BLOG BASED ON A TINY, TINY FRACTION OF ITS CONTENT, WHEN IT IS SO EASY TO JUST BLOCK THOSE TAGS. (Again, not counting me, I know that my blog is an exception to this rule). This is a very real fear, and a lot of people have told me they are staying silent because they don’t want to lose friendships or get blocked themselves. Even some Neutrals who don’t like the pairing at all are getting hatemail and blocked because they are daring to “support” us by preaching a message of live-and-let-live.

“It’s incest, there are people who DO NOT want to see that shit and you don’t get to say they’re ‘haters’ or whatever for disliking your ship.”

To be clear. Not All People who dislike the ship are “haters”. But there are a LOT of people who are voicing their opinion using harsh, hostile, and/or aggressive wording, and/or spreading hate posts and hatemail in the fandom.

*sigh*

On the matter of the-no-name-system’s banner: Just… why? Why are these people being so hostile? Why does “looking at a post” justify being “stomped to death”? Why do you feel so threatened by us? If you don’t want us to look, then maybe, just maybe, stop fucking taking about us and bringing up the topic in the first place? Or get the hell off of a public forum where anyone can read your words?

*sigh*

That post alone has 194 notes on it, which is more than a single one of any of my own posts. And this is only a single hatepost in a sea of dozens of hateposts with thousands of reblogs.

I’m just… so tired and astounded by all the undeserved hatred. In a perfect world, I wish it didn’t exist, but in the meantime I’m glad I’m here to fight against it. Don’t get me wrong, I walked into this fight with my eyes open and my feet firmly planted, and I don’t regret it. But it is exhausting.

So there you go, Anon. Those are my thoughts on what wolfishhel posted, since you asked.

Next question?

[autumnrory]

okay like i love pining but i specifically love like pining for your best friend (which is usually mutual pining tho not always). i do not love steve apparently pining for peggy for twelve years. i don’t find it romantic, i find it really fucking sad. they could’ve had a relationship when the war was over. but...they didn’t. and i doubt it was love; it might have eventually grown into love, but it wasn’t quite that at the end of catfa. why would he spend over a decade wishing for a relationship that never even got off the ground? and it’s not just that i don’t like the idea of him pining for twelve years, it’s that it simply isn’t true.

now i understand we get that he’s still sad about peggy in some sense during catws. he’s at the smithsonian looking at her picture in his compass, watching her talk about him. but don’t forget that she also mentioned her HUSBAND in that video. peggy got to move on within a few years but he didn’t? like. okay. so then he’s visiting her and he’s clearly proud of all she’s accomplished and she’s lived this amazing life and she wants the same for him. i simply can’t fathom him deciding to change those accomplishments even in an alternate timeline (because ultimately that’s the story i’m going with at this point even if the writers and directors don’t agree on which it is and either way the ending sucks), because like...if they were together after the war, she would have lived a very different life.

catws isn’t just steve still adjusting to modern life and what he’s lost (i’d say that’s more the focus of the first avengers movie). he’s depressed and he doesn’t know what to DO with his life. steve is disillusioned with shield and he says knowing peggy helped found shield is half the reason he stays. but like he obviously has a lot of issues with the way shield is run even without knowing there are nazis in it.  and like. i keep seeing people reference sam asking him what makes him happy and making it about peggy. that wasn’t about relationships, that was about whether he wants to continue working for shield, about figuring out something else to do with his life if he chooses to leave. he never really had a chance to stop fighting and figure it out (actually, i think he could have after he dropped the shield in civil war but that’s not how it went). somehow i don’t think steve i-love-justice rogers would want a totally quiet life, and again, would not ditch his friends, especially in the middle of a universal catastrophe. like. snapping everyone back doesn’t erase five years of damage, and like it’s gonna be totally fucking chaotic (they should’ve rewound to before the snap but that’s not what this post is about). and hey, i wanted steve to give up the fight, i wanted him to be a lil selfish and stop trying to save the world all the time. but that doesn’t mean i want him to stop being the good man he is.

ANYWAY probably the most important thing peggy says in that conversation, the thing the endgame ending goes against (and i can’t believe they had the audacity to use it in a fucking trailer): “the world has changed and none of us can go back. all we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.” i know i reblogged a post recently about how peggy’s advice is what steve follows in each movie. and that includes those words. he becomes closer with natasha, takes a chance in befriending and trusting sam after finding out there are a hell of a lot of people he can’t trust. he finds out bucky’s alive and is determined to find him and help him. he takes down shield, but continues being a superhero, continues fighting nazis. he carved out a new life for himself in the present because that’s what he has. ultimately he DOES start over, lets himself become close with the other avengers, he has a LIFE post catws that he didn’t those first few years out of the ice. he doesn’t have to do nothing but miss the life he almost had when he has a new one, that allows him to do so much good and has more people who love him than ever before.

ultimately yes, steve may still regret that he didn’t have his chance with peggy during catws, but he knows she did amazing things after she lost him AND the two of them are as close friends as they can be, given the circumstances. i think that’s why her death hits him so hard in civil war. not because he’s still in love with her (if you could even call it that), but because he lost a friend, lost the one person (because at that point, he still doesn’t have bucky back) who knew him as steve before knowing him as cap. he lost the friend who often was his moral guidance, in different ways throughout the cap trilogy. the fact that he still got to have time with her after waking up when everyone else from his past was gone is so important, absolutely. nat even said it in that deleted scene: “we have what we have when we have it.” i find it so hard to believe that after all he’s lost, he would leave behind the family and friends he still has for peggy, when he knows she ended up just fine without him, when eventually he was just fine with his new life (yes, he’s obvs still depressed but not bc he’s a man out of time or bc he’s without peggy ya know).

by cacw he simply is not pining for peggy or that life anymore. he’s pretty well adjusted to modern life (the fact that endgame reverted back to his old man clothing sdkjfkjskj sad) and he’s even ready to move on with sharon, which i’m not gonna get into but. for FOUR YEARS after catws he’s got friends, he’s got an actual LIFE. with a five year time jump after the snap, that means he’s spent NINE YEARS fighting for that life, for the people in it. and he gives it all up? right after getting sam and bucky and wanda back? like give me a fucking break. ditching your friends for a relationship is unhealthy enough as it is, but for a relationship that never was? a relationship that he had MOVED PAST?

and like...........going back to peggy, even if he did still love her, wouldn’t make him BETTER. he’s experienced an unbelievable amount of trauma and that has a hell of a lot more to do with his depression than peggy and his past life do.

steve didn’t spend twelve years pining for peggy, no matter what endgame tries to sell us. both he and peggy were able to move on after missing that chance and the fact that marvel decided to ignore the fact that peggy lived a whole life and steve started a life just a few years after he went into the ice (they just had those lives in different centuries) is SO GROSS. by pretending that steve never got over her, has never been able to move on from the past, does a disservice to his character and his arc. and giving peggy a whole new life but not even giving her ANY LINES in this movie is just...abhorrent.

peggy carter has lived a life! let her keep it! and steve rogers has only just begun his life! let him give up the fight and finally live it, here and now, like he’s supposed to!

[juni-ravenhall]

im rly tired.... irl stuff Stressful i dont like whats happening in my irl rn and i feel rly bad and just wanna lay down and pretend im not here 

escapism: browsing horse selling sites, fantasising about just buying a cheap horse and giving up life 

also more random discourse pondering 

1. did... certain ppl in the fandom literally decide a bunch of things about me bc of some posts i made bc.... esp one reblog i got was apparently not even directed at me with the “ppl r nasty!” stuff (im glad bc fair), but just, it sounds like some ppl did make assumptions. who gave u the right to assume a bunch of stuff about me? like suddenly everyone who thinks Random Adults arent responsible for personally and individually protecting Random Minors also have all kinds of other “”immoral”” opinions and stuff that i never talked about in my posts.... (again, protecting minors is the parents’ job foremost, its great if we can keep minors safe but is the right way of doing that letting them hang out in unsafe spaces?? again most social media isnt safe for minors and if ur allowed to post adult content on it, then that is indeed the rule of the site, so minors shouldnt be on it if it can harm them... and again. i was an abused child and i saw nsfw stuff online, its not any sort of foreign experience to me, but when i was a minor i didnt push the failed responsibilites of my parents onto other adults bc its just not their responsibility. i care about protecting kids a lot as an abuse victim, but if ur gonna call ppl immoral for being adults who exist, i dont agree.) 

2. isnt part of this actually that, rather than adults invading teen spaces, teens are invading adult (mixed age) spaces and demanding other users (not the site staff itself!) that the space be changed for them? while playing sso, i follow all the rules and dont do anything unsuitable for it being a family-friendly space. however, on any social media space that allows adult content, if teens demand how adults should act or what they should post on this site (aside from obvs illegal or abusive matters and following the site rules! obvs!) then like.... isnt it weird? this whole moralism is just rly similar to jeh*vahs witnesses showing up telling u “actually u cant be gay. u need to stop living in sin and doing immoral things, follow our rules otherwise u r on satan’s side and u wont get to live in paradise” like.... check urself bc i rly dont think u wanna be that person. anyway, the point is that a fandom outside of the original game and official media abides by the rules of the site on which the fandom is located, thats how the world works...... like ive said many times, being able to mark posted content as mature and it being hidden from minors via the site functionality (ao3, da, youtube, twitter) + using warnings, is the safe and decent thing to do when nsfw content is allowed on a social media. 

3. sex is evil, a lot of the stuff is coming down to that too. rly backwards going... its scary reading so many ppl talking exactly like religious extremists but thinking theyre just “normal nice ppl” and not identifying as religious while theyre still saying all the same stuff. not to say nsfw content is safe for minors etc but its just like..... a lot of it doesnt sound like its about that its not phrased like “lets keep the minors away from social media” its phrased instead as “lets remove sexual content” (especially “immoral” content, which is heavily religious thing to be fighting about) 

thats just me rambling....... anyway..... irl rly shit right now and dunno how to handle everything, just want 10 horses

[unproduciblesmackdown]

this one for the special club of ppl who have no friends

idk abt yall but even for myself im not sure exactly how long it took me to work out that i was & had been more isolated than the avg person over my life & realizing that the feeling i had since ever being around a group of ppl (preschool) that i couldnt fit in or have more than like, one friend that was mostly defined as “wanted to actually play together at recess or smthing”, was just actually generally true. idk what it is but you know what its like when ppl have some tendency to ignore you. or quietly gain contempt for you because they think you’re weird, which i havent known to stop being true between like 10 yr olds & ppl in their 20s. when ur being talked over even in a group you’re supposed to be in and its like listen. what is going on that this happens so much

anyways when you have no friends its always wild when anyone does show up and actually act like a friend more than like once & show the slightest interest in you as a person. for me though i did have to learn to just not care as much when this happens because its like the sheer math of it all yknow. a person who is used to having like, a more avg number of friends across life is gonna make a friend and be like “oh man awesome” but on the other end of things when u have only a handful of friends and/or little access to friends &/or no close friends, getting a new friend seems way more significant because its like wow this is only 1/18 in my whole life or something. whereas for the other person you are 1/143 idek. not to say that each friend is less important to someone who has more of them. but it is less of a big deal to gain a new one, and a new person theyve just been talking to a bit IS going to be a less important friend

where this is going is just that, never having friends = everyone else being a big deal to you, but you arent a big deal 2 them....a lot of wondering why you always like ppl more than they like you. in my experience its not fun so, with the motivation to stop feeling terrible over that repeated revelation, and also figuring out that its because being so isolated / having few to no Reeeaalll Friends = valuing new friends way more than they value you, rather than just that everyone definitely hates you....i personally have tried to stop caring less about getting the opportunity to talk to new people.

thats not to say i dont enjoy it or value it or like the people i talk to.....i do enjoy it, im a social person in my own way, and i appreciate it when it happens b/c i dont consistently have conversations with anyone. i just don’t get excited abt a potential friendship or expect to ever reach what feels like a real & solid friendship w anyone. i have picked up a few ppl in the past like 5 yrs i do consider friends but its always taken a while to get there.

its kind of funny because like i said i AM kind of social & i do really care about people i get to grow a bit close to.......there is definitely plenty of ppl i dislike right away & have the opposite interest as being friends with them....but when i do like ppl, idk, i like to try to support them and be nice to them and be there for them in the usually tiny ways i can.....i love to talk to people actually. in person when im actually comfortable, i can actually come off a bit overly talkative....i can be energetic when i’m happy & i do have a lot to say about things sometimes but usually only in my head. even typing it out is difficult b/c i can only type so fast, especially with a phone. but in other situations i can have trouble actually getting my voice to come out at all, or i choose not to speak at all b/c i dont want to. or when im frustrated i dont want to talk for a moment but thats generally because there is no one around i want to talk to about it. i can talk abt something for hrs....and it is of course extra special to me b/c i dont get to be around ppl i like talking to them that often

idk and i like to do nice things for friends when i can......i dunno. i do like people. i can be pretty choosy about who i hang on to, i might only have a select group of friends even if i wasnt isolated; but still....theres a lot of people in the world. even being picky about it, you could have a huge friend group

little tangent i dont trust trying to make friends in groups at all really lol.....like even if you’re friends with someone who’s in a bigger friend group. i might cautiously give ppl a chance just b/c of the good endorsement but ive also had bad times w it. and often like, even ppl i all individually like, to be in a group w everyone is to realize that my way of socializing means im a lot of times off on the tangents and it just makes it clear that there’s a whole Thing going on in the middle that you’re not at all involved in. and then there’s ongoing Things that nobody lets you in on and its like alright i guess i’ll do my own thing that nobody’s interested in. idk and its happened that i’ll be in a group and again just like....not be even noticed physically and its like. feels great man

anyways i guess theres general things about Friendship that i feel i miss out on, on account of never experiencing it

like ive never felt like i had someone i’d tell anything to, not even collectively, like i have three Things to tell & maybe i cant tell anyone all three but i know three ppl i’d tell one of each to

ive also never quite felt like i’d always have someone to talk to just in general......or been in the situation where if i wanted to go out and do something w someone i knew i could find someone to go w me.....idk theres never been the feeling that i always had access to friends in any way. or like, ever had access to friends, most of the time at least

i also have no idea....when ppl talk about having longtime friends like known all their life im like wtf. ok. weirdo. ive had a friend for ten seconds

kind of a bummer b/c i think a lot of ppl consider College to be th easiest place to make friends...like before that you mostly have school friends and afterwards its like oh work friends but college you have a bit more mobility and different situations to meet people.....but post-college its supposedly just increasingly difficult to make new friends. and being more isolated makes it even more difficult as ppl tend to ostracize ppl for being lonely weirdos

im always lucky i get to talk on here tbh......it occurs to me it’s probably bad to feel completely unheard. because it frustrates me a lot at times to feel that way. even nowadays i dont really say anything about the stuff i think & dont ever find myself wanting to....im picky about who i really feel like having long or even short but actually genuine convos w like i said...............and idk its not that infrequent too for ppl to seem to not really care one way or the other or listen or even like it when i talk. i only wanna talk in situations i feel good talking obv lol....otherwise i’d rather stay quiet, but staying quiet is frustrating also. but i do it. but i can say things here at least even if i’m not actually talking aloud

i cant expect to ever have this mythical friend group or whatever.....i dont have Expectations like that. and in the meantime ive been lowkey for a few years just trying to lower my expectations even for ppl im just chill-ly talking to. its not that difficult nowadays, i get a bit pumped to just be talking, but i dont get Pumped Abt New Friends or anything. i know it doesnt work like that....and its not like i was ever like, wanting a blood oath after two conversations or anything like that. it just tends to mean more to you and then you find out you dont mean as much to anybody else really

oh but a good silver lining is that now i have better standards for ppl anyway, to be like “well it sucks that it turns out my connection w all these ppl wasnt that solid at all, but hang on now that i think of it do i even Like this or that person”

life is wild huh. back in preschool i thought something was wrong w me that nobody liked me & nowadays i dont care if they do or not. im doing my own thing over here & may be chillin in hell but at least, even if i’m sad i don’t exactly get to consistently interact w ppl, it only matters to me if i get the attention from ppl i genuinely like anyways. i could drop off the face of the planet & probably the biggest giveaway was that i had reblogged a joke in a few days but wtf does that matter anyway. some of us got to be on the tangents still w no friends. not because its necessary but b/c it happens and it has to be someone, might as well be me or you. it happens to be me, thats for sure

[janiedean]

There are people in the Theon tag saying we need to stop using the "I should have died with him" quote because it only holds Theon back and then others are reblogging it and tagging it with "Get over this line" and then someone made a gifset with that line and the same person was complaining in the notes about it saying that line has no place in the episode 4 scene with Theon and Jon. and yes these are the same people who hate the books and love the show. They've taken over the Theon tag.

hmmm. OKAY. SO. I cannot sadly reblog that post because I’m blocked by both parties in this story and whatever (NOT the person who made the gifset we all know who we’re talking about trololol *sigh*) but like, I read that post and fuck this noise, as someone who has basically started going into throbb hell thanks to that line and a lot of other shit I honestly have no fucks left to give on this matter so please let me say a few things.

first thing, saying that theon ‘can’t get over that line’ is already not understanding what the fuck that line is there for. thing is: he’s been feeling guilty SINCE A CLASH OF KINGS. the moment he realizes that robb was the person who was his home is the moment he accepts that he did wrong things and he lets it fucking go. or at least he lets it go enough to save jeyne’s hide and do one of the two heroic things people did in these books along with jaime saving brienne. that’s not about him being ridden by guilt, is theon admitting to himself what he had been denying since book two therefore making peace with the part of him who had betrayed robb which is what had been haunting him since acok among the rest but that he hadn’t quite been able to put into words.

like. he realizes he should have died with him. he realizes he’s lost the one person who liked him/cared about him for how he was. that’s the exact moment where every other thread in his story comes to a turning point and where he has to decide who the hell he is and what he wants to do with this life.

turns out he wants to be theon (not theon greyjoy or reek or whatever, theon, aka the person robb knew and who robb thought was an a+ person enough to stay friends with him for years but NEVER MIND THAT) and that what he wants to do is saying fuck you to ramsay, saving jeyne and jumping out of the castle. says something about how realizing that is not a bad thing for him that he put two and two together.

he wasn’t with robb but he wanted to be, and if he had died with robb he wouldn’t have gone through torture and shit which is honestly a good appeal, but the point is that he wanted to be with robb because robb was the one person who valued him and he’d have suffered a lot less but whatever. obv I’m glad he’s not dead. I also wish robb was not dead. but idk last time I wrote fanfic where they did die at the RW all the comments were ‘still less sad than canon’, everyone draw their conclusions.

I also want theon to move on and live a happy life, and the reason he can do it is that he realized he should have been with robb who was the one person who thought the world of him and he’s actually being that person right now without having to hide it because he can’t give two fucks. if he hadn’t come to that realization he could not live a happy life. because he’d be still torn by it. now that he realized it and he made peace with it, he can move on. he couldn’t move on if he hadn’t reached that stage and now that he’s lived up to what robb thought of him he can move the hell on.

he’s not beating himself on the head. he’s working through his guilt and succeeding at it, which the show is doing two seasons too late but never mind, and I hope he gets that defining moment in here too because he didn’t (yet, idk, I haven’t watch the last episode) and THAT WAS HIM REALIZING HE HAD TO MOVE ON. IT’S NOT UNHEALTHY GDI and tbh from two people who love the show best to say that when theon’s been carrying a lot more guilt on the show than in the book is like… what the fuck? then complain to d&d. book!theon’s been done with guilt the moment he jumped out of the walls with jeyne, or at least he’s been done with it enough that he can move on. show!theon hasn’t done that yet.

and he’s looked ahead THE MOMENT HE SAVED JEYNE RATHER THAN LETTING THE BOTH OF THEM DIE AND GO BACK TO RAMSAY like good lord how you don’t read that that way idk but it’s plenty obvious.

if they don’t like that quote, fine. but they really didn’t understand what the hell it’s about and if they didn’t realize that throughout all of adwd theon thought of robb when he wanted to think about when he was happy and not when he was feeling guilty idk what they were paying attention to. too bad because that’s exactly what happened but I guess it requires actually…… paying attention to the book which they already said to hell and back that they don’t like, which is okay. but can they let us people who like the book fucking live?

I’ve been throbb trash since I read that quote. I’ve been throbb trash about that quote for six years. I am never going to get over that damned line. a lot of other people will not either. They can go and make peace with it because the theon tag is full of people who like his and robb’s relationship and seeing it reduced to that and being told that we should get over it when theon’s relationship with robb is what saved his hide because if he didn’t have it he wouldn’t have had a point of reference for good memories/a support system is frankly ridiculous and I have no time for this. No, I’m not getting over it. Yes, it’s a fundamental line for theon’s char development. Feel free to dislike it but then stick to the show and don’t tell anyone to get over that fucking line. And given that basically that line is 90% of the reason why I’m this fandom, this sub-fandom and this ship and I certainly want theon to move on and be happy and so would robb, I find it honestly ridiculous to be told I should get over it. If there’s a reason so many people like it, ask yourself why and for the love of god stop trying to convince us all that the show version is better or that there’s nothing special about the book version.

(Now, this is not on the line but you mentioned the gifset so since I’m here: nice totally unwarranted trashing of poor kit’s acting huh? because obviously he can’t act and he has ‘his usual blank look’? listen, this is a post about theon and I love alfie’s acting and we all know that and I really goddamned do but I’ve seen just that frame and went like FUCKING HELL KIT WHY DO YOU HURT ME SO and like…. wow, nice putting them against each other when kit’s actually fairly good, has gotten really better from S4 onwards, is basically dragging half of this show on his shoulders and is not a bad actor at all all the contrary? christ, wow, amazing, apparently every single intention behind alfie’s acting is crystal clear and they know better than all of us but kit’s acting is ‘blank’ because he always has the same face? yeah no he doesn’t and it’d take watching any scene he was on in the last three years to see that he doesn’t and that it was really low. like. amazing. I knew someone was gonna put it on the acting side. I’ve known that since I knew jon and theon were meeting again. I’M NOT SURPRISED.)

tldr: no I’m not getting over this line, no a lot of other people are not getting over this line, and they should make damned peace with it because there’s a reason it’s a lot of people’s favorite line.

in conclusion:

Theon led the way up the stairs. I have climbed these steps a thousand times before. As a boy he would run up; descending, he would take the steps three at a time, leaping. Once he leapt right into Old Nan and knocked her to the floor. That earned him the worst thrashing he ever had at Winterfell, though it was almost tender compared to the beatings his brothers used to give him back on Pyke. He and Robb had fought many a heroic battle on these steps, slashing at one another with wooden swords. Good training, that; it brought home how hard it was to fight your way up a spiral stair against determined opposition. Ser Rodrik liked to say that one good man could hold a hundred, fighting down.That was long ago, though. They were all dead now. Jory, old Ser Rodrik, Lord Eddard, Harwin and Hullen, Cayn and Desmond and Fat Tom, Alyn with his dreams of knighthood, Mikken who had given him his first real sword. Even Old Nan, like as not.

And Robb. Robb who had been more a brother to Theon than any son born of Balon Greyjoy’s loins. Murdered at the Red Wedding, butchered by the Freys. I should have been with him. Where was I? I should have died with him.

thanks for the attention, I realize I’m coming off like an asshole, I honestly can’t with this thing where important lines from the books get demoted to ‘but they’re not important’ anymore and I’m not required playing nice at this point.

and given that jon’s had survivor’s guilt since he learned that robb died (but they wouldn’t know since from what I gathered they only read theon’s chapters so they obviously hadn’t read jon’s) it’s absolutely plausible that jon’s thinking the exact same thing. let that damned gifset live and let us book fans live.

[settingsummer]

I’ve got some loved ones in this forsaken shit-stain of a toxic community who are really suffering right now, because apparently things around here have gotten far more abusive and toxic than I thought. Over the last month or so, I’ve wondered if it was just me that was starting to get nauseous at the sound of hearing their phone buzz from across the room, or from seeming a push notification on the screen when browsing online elsewhere, or who was in the hospital about once a week due to randomly increased stress levels making my body shut down, and I got my answer last night. 

To be honest, I myself have thrown up three times in thirteen hours... all over things happening on Tumblr. The only reason I haven’t posted anything like this, yet, is I didn’t want a bunch of whiny shits in my inbox asking if I’m talking about them. No. Passive-aggression is honestly exactly what���s driving me to do this. I’m not talking about anyone. I’m talking to everyone. 

So let’s ALL have a little refresher course on the basis of Tumblr RP:

You don’t owe Tumblr SHIT. You don’t owe your followers SHIT. You don’t owe your muses SHIT. You don’t owe your new partners SHIT. You don’t owe your old partners SHIT. You don’t owe your OOC friend/partners SHIT. You don’t owe your inbox SHIT. You don’t owe your drafts SHIT. You don’t owe your dash SHIT. You don’t owe a plot SHIT. You don’t owe another muse SHIT. You don’t owe asks SHIT. You don’t owe anons SHIT. You don’t owe your layout SHIT. You don't owe Discord or Skype SHIT. You don’t owe someone ELSE’S life schedule SHIT. You don’t owe anyone or anything SHIT.  

And the best and most important part: No. one. owes. you. shit. either.

Those of you who know my story know that I spent six years in a world whose very culture and societal structure demanded that I actively engaging with and befriend people who utilized threats, guilt trips, manipulations (no matter how transparent), belittlement, grooming, intimidation tactics, and bullying to get what they wanted out of me—which, most of the time, was just obedience. There were no corners to hide in. No computers to turn off. There was nowhere you could go to just “get away for a few minutes” and there definitely wasn’t anything you could do to stop it. If you wanted to survive, you had to stand there and let it happen. There is NO reason why my stress levels should be back there. None. There is no reason why the love of my life should have to get up out of bed at 5-fucking-am when he has work at 7-fucking-am to come hold my hair while I shake and vomit over the toilet over a few sentences sent to me by a person I don’t even know?

And I dare anyone to come into my inbox with that “ *patpat* awe honey maybe u should take some time away from tumblr ur obv not well and this isn’t healthy FOR YOU ” bullshit. I dare you. Don’t make me out to be the weak one just because you’re convinced that you can thrive in this environment the way it is while others can’t. It’s not healthy for fucking anybody. My experience, my illness, my mental health issues, don’t change what I would hope are basic tenets of human decency.  

The guilt-tripping, the passive-aggressiveness, the toxicity, the clique-forming, the bullying, the lack of forgiveness, the trying to coerce people into smutting with you (really guys!?), the abuse-then-cuddle tactics, the one-upping, the patronization... it’s got to stop. Now. 

If you’ve been a serious roleplayer on tumblr, and you haven’t seen or experienced these problems at all, fine. Pretend you didn’t see this and be grateful. 

If you’re a serious roleplayer on tumblr and you ARE experiencing this, but just didn’t know if it was just you or not, it’s not. 

Reblog if you want. I really don’t care. I really, really don’t. Jesus fuck I do not care.  

[gruntadminloch-moved]

((venting post tbd it’s okay i talk myself through it this is literally stream of conscious you can just watch me think myself through something if you read this which is probably hilarious but also probably very not just ignore this i’ll actually delete this unlike everything else i tag tbd i swear

whenevr i consider reblogging like a ‘give my muse a nightmare’ meme or something similarly darker like that to explore that side of Loch or just any other side of him because i’ve explored like maybe a fifth at best

I feel like “yeah well you’re too new. people don’t know enough about loch to pull that off.” (disregard that i’ve been here what a month at this point? i answered an ask about things that trigger him and also included some fears in there?? loch’s pretty simple you can also take a wild guess based on ‘he REALLY likes kissing guzma’s ass’)

(also, hey, danie, why don’t people know more about loch? because you haven’t been doing your tags dipshit! why don’t you do those? clearly you want to! anxiety?? poor attention span??? well shit can’t do much about that now can we.)

at the same time some people reblog those and get silly/funny ones or general ones so. it wouldn’t hurt to do that.

I also feel bad doing memes when i could be doing proper tags. memes just come quick and easy. but it’s not really the right way to share info about the character rather than y’know actually playing him y’know? but i also feel bad about not posting so much when i’m in a rut like this. i should stop feeling bad because everyone tells me that it’s fine and not to feel bad but i don’t /shrug

unrelated vomiting warning obvs not for me tho but that’s a delicate thing for some people but my dad’s throwing up again which is great can’t do anything about that either

can’t do anything in general lol

I’m actually getting a tag done right now!!  unfortunately there are 30+ more waiting after that somet hat will probably be dropped for timing reasons but i wanna reply anyway to show that i’m still interested

just

blaah i suck /shrug

idk how i did this before idk how i was part of even ran a whole kind of indie multiverse space in the past i guess i had less on my mind and less to do i didn’t have a job i didn’t have to take care of my dad i was slightly more mentally healthy than before

just

i have so many excuses but i hate having excuses i feel like they’re never enough or they’re not well understood or just that everyone ELSE can power through their excuses wh can’t I????

(a lot of those people have meds or support systems or otherwise self that’s why. there are lots of reasons you’re you and you need to stop comparing yourself to other people it’s not HELPING it makes things WORSE and you’ve gotta stop making things worse for yourself because it just makes things harder for you)

i wonder if i’d feel better if i got things done but those things can be done whenever y’know? like the pile of laundry on my floor doesn’t feel as pressing as tags i’ve been sitting on for weeks. sure rl comes first but once i throw those in the washing machine i can just walk away and it’ll take care of itself. this is osmething i actively have to do

then again that’s the kind of logic that says it’s a priority. it’ll take five seconds. hell maybe i’ll do it now and feel like i did something. sweep up the rice i spilt on the floor earlier and feel a little better. hang up my clothes that’ve been sitting in my laundry basket for weeks and have stuff done. just the thought(or maybe the rambling) makes me feel a little less tense would you look at that

okay. i have a tag half done. i’m gonna finish it and queue it and then put some stuff in the laundry. do another(or part of another), hang up some clothes. yeah i can do that. good talk self you're gonna be fine

and y’know what once you do a few things reblog a meme or make a headcanon post or something. you’ve got this. you can earn things for yourself

feel like you’re gonna cry? that’s fine. go ahead and cry. whenever it comes. maybe listen to pikachu’s goodbye that used to make you cry all the time it might help get it out. you’re all manner of pent up and you need to pull yourself together

your arms might feel tense from restlnessness--adhd isn’t just being foregetful and distracted you get restless and angry and fidget too and you’ve been kind of still since you sat down to type. your body wants movement and activity besides using your hands and fingers. use them or flail around do some wall pushups or something. you’re gonna be fine. it’s amazing how nice it feels to talk to yourself sometimes and talk yourself through things. maybe it’s just because i know how to do that, talk through things. i just never have the time to really tell myself to do it

it’s especially nice to be able to look up from the keyboard and see it addressed to me. like. hey you. me. self. you’re gonna be alright. things’re gonna be fine. nothing in particular is the matter but everything is also the matter and that’s okay because it won’t be the matter forever!!! you just gotta work through it

thanks me. you’re not bad at that. you hear that a lot actually. you don’t mean to project that way when it comes to loch but you do. hopefully when you pick up other characters you can keep your self to yourself.

okay! enough typing!! time to get to work!!! /cutsey flexy emoji

[lostinkoreantranslations]

안녕하세요~!

Hi!

I’m Ana and this – *motions around* – is yet another Korean studyblr! 🎉🎊

I’m currently teaching myself & I wanted a place where I could dump all my notes in a rather organized way (just in case I misplace something irl) as well as monitor my progress. And I thought what better way than to make yet another Tumblr dedicated to this language as there aren’t already 537689210 others. 🙂 But here I am, ready to contribute my share!

So yeah, let’s begin with some basics about myself!

Is Korean the first foreign language I’m learning?

Nope. It’s actually my third! Spanish was the first language (besides English, obvs) I learned because my childhood best friend was half-Puerto Rican & her grandmother always spoke Spanish to us. I didn’t really become conversational (I hate using the word fluent, which I’ll explain later) in it until one summer where I just watched Telemundo all day long. I watched so many telenovelas, I kinda forgot what reality tv was.

Happy with my Spanish skills & not wanting to sit through extremely boring and redundant Spanish classes, I decided to learn French my freshman year of college. I’d always found French enchanting so I dove headfirst into it and now three years later, I’m proud/ashamed to say my French is better than my Spanish. 😅 Either way, I serve as acting translator for my parents in BOTH languages so I don’t much mind since it means I get to travel with them. And to think people say learning languages is boring and useless.

Why am I learning Korean?

Well, a little over a year ago, I was bored to tears in my dorm so I decided to watch a Buzzfeed video. There was a series that the Try Guys had done that I hadn’t watched yet called Try Guys Try K-Con. And that handsome devil named Eugene Lee Yang opened my eyes (and the guys’) to the world of K-Pop. All it took was one electric fart in Big Bang’s “BANG BANG BANG” (my personal anthem still to this day) and I was H O O K E D. I fell deep and fast.

Now really it shouldn’t have been all that surprising to me how quickly I’d become engrossed in kpop considering I love all kinds of music and I was verifiably Obsessed™ with Stromae at the time (still am, honestly), but I found myself desperately trying to sing along to all the groups I’d suddenly started stanning and being so frustrated that I couldn’t watch vids without subs. So me being the stubborn person I am decided, “FXXK IT, IMMA LEARN KOREAN.”

Well. My goal for 2016 was to be conversational by 2017; and as you can see, that didn’t work out. French got in the way thanks to these ridiculously intense literature and writing classes I took.😤 BUT I AM HERE NOW AND READY TO ACCOMPLISH MY GOAL.

Why do I hate saying “fluent”?

Okay so check it: Fluent nowadays basically has the connotation that a person knows & can readily access all the words in a given language. BUT. Pretty much every language known to humankind has THOOOUUUUSSAAAANDS of words in it. So in order to be what most people consider “fluent,” you’d have to know every👏🏾single👏🏾word👏🏾 in your target language and be able to express yourself clearly and easily in it. But if we’re being honest: Most of us don’t know more than a fourth of the words that comprise our mother tongues, let alone our additional languages. Moreover, literally every single person stumbles to express themselves clearly and easily in their mother tongue. I know there have been countless times personally where it’s happened to me, and I’m sure it’s the same for you.

Making mistakes is a part of the learning process and it’s so crucial when it comes to language acquisition. We have to butcher pronunciations a couple times and we have to flop about trying to figure out what that word on the tips of our tongue is in order for us to really be able to use the language. Like that’s just the basic fact of the matter.

So by removing the heavy expectation of perfection that comes with being Fluent™, I’ve found that learning languages has been so much more enjoyable because I’m not constantly stressing myself out about meeting this nearly unattainable standard.

What am I using to help me learn Korean?

A sh*t ton plethora of resources. For online learning, I’ll be using this site. I’ve found this really awesome book that so far is really helpful. As far as apps, I’m mainly using Memrise and I’ll likely start using Eggbun at some point. Here on Tumblr, I’m following as many studyblrs as I can, but most notably @fromirelandtokorea. (Hi Linn! It’s me, Lily!) And for supplemental learning, I’ll be listening to a T O N of kpop and I’ll be watching v lives, k-dramas/broadcasts/movies. At some point, I’ll start reading books as well.

What is my goal?

My monthly goal is to learn at least 100 vocabulary words per month (so 25 words a week or 5 words/weekday) for a total of 1200 words by the end of the year. (What I mean by vocab is simply words that aren’t taught to me from the textbook I use. So basically any outside/extra words I pick up.) I also want to complete at least 2 lessons per week (currently plotting 1 lesson from book + 1 lesson from a studyblr, but it’s pretty flexible since there’s so much content out there).

What’s my learning schedule?

Basically, at least an hour or so a day. (There’s no set time yet though.) Since I’m constantly on my phone, though, that won’t be such an issue because most of resources can be readily accessed using it.

When will I post notes?

They’ll be posted as I complete them! So roughly on a weekly basis, most likely on Sundays though since those are my most relaxed days. My notes will be a vocab list + lesson notes (I’ll link you to the corresponding lessons). As far as how I post them, I’ll likely just post pictures of them so you can see how I do them & figure out what way works best for you.

Will I reblog/post stuff?

Most. Definitely. So much is going to reblogged, I can guarantee there won’t be a shortage of content on here.

What type of stuff will I reblog/post?

If I’m reblogging, it’ll typically be vocab/grammar rules/helpful phrases/study tips. If I’m posting, I’ll likely link you to certain songs I’m obsessed with or that I find are really easy to learn. If I get a chance, I might even do lyric breakdowns. There will definitely be some cultural stuff on here as well because it’s soooooo important to know about the culture(s) where the language is spoken so you know how to interact with native speakers.

What is my biggest tip to learning a language?

Baby steps. You have to realize that even though you’re on a pretty advanced level for your mother tongue, you’re right around a baby or small child’s level when you start out learning a new language. You can’t expect yourself to be reciting, oh idk, Homer’s Odyssey in perfect Greek when you just learned the Greek alphabet the day before. So take your time and start off with small little chunks of info so you don’t overwhelm yourself & burn out. Language learning isn’t a one-time occurrence; it will literally be happening for the rest of your life because you’ll always find new words & usages as you go along.

Well. I think I covered everything! I can’t wait to see where this thing goes! 화이팅!!

안녕히 가세요~! Ana.

[somptueusesignora-blog]

SHIPPING INFO

TAGGED BY : @deathreflected <3 <3

TAGGING: Frick man idk who hasn’t been tagged. If you wanna do it, steal it 

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

Carlotta/Ulbaldo, but that comes with the stipulation that it took them a while to come together. I fully believe that they both had a lot of healthy, loving relationships before they got together, long and short term. Carlotta doesn’t believe in soulmates, and I don’t think I do with her either.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: Pretty much anything, except long-term abuse (or anything that isn’t legal, obvs). I’m willing to allude to an abusive past, but I won’t put it into writing with a partner. I do write nsfw, provided the partner is 18+ (I’m thinking about moving that up to 21+ stay posted). It’s tagged and usually under a readmore. Aside from that, fluff, angst, crack, I’m here for all of it.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: It’s contextual. I hate being the person who says “it depends”, but it really does. For example, I personally am not comfortable shipping a 16 year old with anyone over the age of 18. I wouldn’t ship an 18 year old with someone older than 24. But on the other hand, I have absolutely no problem with a 30 year old paired with a 50 year old. This might make me massively hypocritcal, but that’s really the best answer I can give. I guess my maximum gap before I start questioning, given that both participants are of age, is 15 years.    

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: about as selective as I am in general, as much as that means. It depends on the muse, tbh - I don’t ship Raccie with many, outside of her canon relationships. Likewise, I have difficulties with the van Dorts. However, Carlotta is a lot more open romantically, especially in her younger verses, so for this blog I’m actually not super selective. As long as you follow my rules and our muses click on some level, I’m willing to explore romance.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: I have a couple npcs from Carlotta’s past that I ship her with at varying times, but right now the only active ship I have is Lolo/Ubi (Not that that’s a problem they’re a d o r a b l e).  

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: I mean, I like plotting in general so I’m going to say yes, but like my selectivity, it mostly follows those rules. Just jump in, talk to me, send me a flirty meme and I’ll talk to see if we want it to continue, etc. etc.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: I am a ship whore. I’m not even going to lie, I love ships. I also like fluff and angst and frienships and everything - but do not misunderstand me. I live for adorable sweet ships. Especially with lolo   

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: Idk, what do you qualify as obsessed? The fact of the matter is that there’s a level of shipping that I’m very happy at. If it gets above that level, I can get stressed, but if I’m below that level I feel shipstarved. Wow I sound needy. I like writing relationships because I usually don’t get to. I play villians - and not the sexy kind 9/10 times. When I’m not writing villians, I’m writing middleaged women, so I just don’t ship much I guess?.  

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: All the fucking way yes. .

WHAT IS ( ARE ) YOUR FAVORITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: Carlotta/Ulbaldo, Christine/Raoul, Meg/Happiness.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Come into my ims and yell ‘OI FUCKFACE”. Alternatively, wait until I reblog a shippy/flirty meme and send one in. I will probably im you and ask about how you wanna take it. I’m a marshmallow I promise - no need to fear the Munrie.