#oh also I know that jackie dies which sucks but I don’t really care about spoilers when it comes to this show

[theriverdalereviewer]

to the anon who suggested I watch yellowjackets WELL GUESS WHAT?

[artificialqueens]

The Blue Neighborhood Series: SUBURBIA (Group) - Mac

AN: A million and one thanks to everyone who has been here for this journey, I cannot thank you enough for your support and comments and love. I’m so thankful to have you guys and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations.

All my love to Meggie for betaing. All my love to Alex who made me actually start writing this series a year ago. All my love to Barbie for letting me bounce ideas off of her.

All my love to you all reading this. <3

Summary: The girls of the Blue Neighborhood grew up together. Playing in the streets, trading secrets, and falling in love.

And maybe, just maybe, they can forgive each other.

Rock bit back a smile as she heard footsteps bounding up the stairs to the prop room.

A week ago she would have scuttled into the far corner and hid until the person left, but now, as Aiden’s flushed face appeared in the doorway, Rock felt only a trace of nervousness.

“What’s up, bitch?” Aiden said by way of greeting.

Rock rolled her eyes, but patted the cool stone floor beside her, motioning for the other girl to sit. Aiden took her spot silently, the two falling into a sort of semi-comfort that they had developed over the past weeks.

Rock pulled out her phone, instinctively tapping through the screen to pull up the next episode of Sailor Moon.

She felt rather than heard Aiden’s complaint from beside her. “We are not watching this garbage again,” the dark-haired girl said, making a grab for the phone in Rock’s hand. But Rock had been anticipating this, and snatched her hand away in the nick of time, ratcheting up the volume a few notches to drown out Aiden’s groan of defeat.

“You were the one who busted up into my lunch spot. You can either bite your tongue or find another place to hide from everyone who’s pissed at you,” Rock retorted. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t like it, I see the way you look at Neptune, you fucking lesbian.”

Aiden rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched up. “First of all, you’re a bitch. Second of all, shut up.”

Rock smirked. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

Aiden waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, just play the damn show so I don’t have to hear you talk anymore.”

Rock smiled smugly to herself, pressing play and sinking back against the cold brick wall, Aiden’s warm presence heavy at her side.

The two watched in relative silence, save for Rock’s occasional need to info dump about a particular scene or character. Aiden rolled her eyes and gave her biting comments, but Rock could tell she appreciated the attention not being on her.

Ever since Aiden had been outed as the person behind the drama account, she had sunk even more into the background. Where before she would pipe in with snark and wit, now she sat back in silence, letting herself practically disappear in the horde.

Rock understood the feeling in a way.

Maybe that’s why they seemed to get along.

Aiden had stumbled up to the prop room one day, seeking asylum from her mistakes, and Rock had let her.

But questions still ate at her, bit at the tension in the air around them as they continued to watch in silence. Rock could feel them steadily bubbling to the surface, tempting her to ruin the peace she and Aiden had found.

She bit the bullet, pressing pause, noticing her breathing was coming out harsher than before.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked.

The question hung still in the air for a long while, so long that Rock nearly looked up to see if Aiden was still sitting beside her.

The older girl sighed, long and low. “You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah.” Rock nodded, turning to meet Aiden’s eyes. “I lied.”

Aiden broke the contact, putting her head in her hands and letting out a shaky exhale. Rock expected her to leave, to lash out and storm away.

But Aiden just breathed in and out once more before lifting her head, staring at the stone floor intently. “My parents got divorced the summer before freshman year,” she said slowly, as if testing out the words on her tongue. “It came out of nowhere. There were no big fights or warning signs, just… divorce. And Mom never said why.”

Rock saw the other girl’s features soften the tiniest bit before harsh lines replaced them.

“We were happy. A happy, normal family. We played board games and went on camping trips and spent hours staring up at the clouds.” Aiden bit her lip harshly. “It came out of nowhere.”

She took a steadying breath before speaking again. “And then my dad got real sick. Couldn’t be on his own so he moved back in. And I couldn’t—” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t know how to be there… in that house.”

“Everyday I would come back from school and I’d have lost a little more of him,” she practically whispered, voice suddenly hoarse and grating. “Mom did her best, caring for a man she didn’t love anymore, but she worked, and I went to school and… and… and we weren’t there for him.”

There was a beat of silence before Aiden spoke again. “I didn’t go home the week after he died. I slept in the theatre seats down there, showered in the locker rooms. Fuck.”

Rock didn’t know what to say, couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering that lived inside this girl she had known for so long.

Aiden’s expression hardened, but she still refused to look up from where her eyes were fixed on the floor. “That week I started noticing stuff. People doing shit they weren’t supposed to, shit that didn’t make sense.”

“The account wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a place to post dumb shit about the people who were dicks to me.”

Aiden finally turned to meet Rock’s gaze, her eyes wide and helpless. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand, but all of a sudden people found it, and were sending the account other stuff. Confessions, kinks, teacher-student relationships and I-I didn’t know what to do.”

“And then I saw Gigi and Jaida,” Aiden exhaled shakily.

“And I remembered how hurt Crystal had been all those years ago, how hurt she still was about the whole thing. And I tried to bring it up to her, but she shot me down. And I tried to let it go, I really did.  But they just kept hooking up, and they weren’t even being secretive about it. And after three fucking years of hurting Crystal, I thought they deserved a little bit of shit for what they did.”

“So you posted the picture.” Rock nodded.

“Yeah.” Aiden sighed.

Rock took a deep breath in and out. “I didn’t know that, about your dad.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t want the pity. I didn’t want people… looking after me. It didn’t feel right since I didn’t-I couldn’t look after him.”

Rock nodded. “That all must have been…” She paused. “Really overwhelming,” she said lightly, placing a gentle hand on Aiden’s shoulder.

Aiden scoffed, shrugging off Rock’s affection. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you…” Aiden floundered, “I dunno, understand. Like you’re not mad.”

Rock shook her head. “Oh, I’m mad,” she assured.

Aiden looked down to her fingers, toying with the laces of her shoes.

“But I get why you did it.”

Aiden shook her head, words coming out in a desperate whisper. “I’m not sure I do.”

“You want answers.” Rock shrugged. “That’s all any of us want. You want to know why your parents divorced, you want to know why people lie, you want to know how someone could cheat on someone else.”

Aiden looked up to meet Rock’s eyes, the first look of genuine vulnerability passing between them.

“You don’t get to know.” Rock smiled sadly. “You gotta suck it up like the rest of us and get comfortable with not knowing.”

Aiden’s gaze darted away, breaking eye contact again, but Rock didn’t stop. “You don’t get to make up a narrative and force other people to fit it. You wanna be emo and angsty and upset at the world, fine, you do that, but you don’t get to ruin other people’s lives just because you got dealt a shit hand in life.”

“Tough talk for a bitch hiding in a prop room,” Aiden snapped.

Rock chuckled. That’s the Aiden she knew. “In case it escaped your notice, you’re also up here hiding, dumbass.”

Aiden looked at Rock hard, walls up, defenses primed, ready to attack.

But then she laughed.

Really, genuinely laughed.

And she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until tears started streaming down her face, and she was hiccuping around sobs she desperately tried to fight off.

And Rock held her through it.

…

Brita couldn’t help a smile as she made her way down the hallway and through the open doors to the art room. She was met with a chorus of greetings that still managed to make her stomach flip.

She took up her usual seat next to Heidi, and the two began to trade the entirety of their respective lunches. They fell into easy conversation, as the couples on either side of the room were too absorbed in each other to pay them any mind.

Brita watched them out of the corner of her eye, blaming it on curiosity.  

Nicky and Crystal sat next to each other, smiling ear to ear and occasionally feeding each other bites of food like lovesick idiots.

“They’re so gross,” Heidi groaned from beside her.

The two girls in question whipped around to glare at her.

“I miss when you were both too gay to talk to each other. Can we go back to that? I miss that.” Heidi whined, stabbing at the pasta Brita brought with a fork.

Crystal raised a challenging brow at Heidi, and without breaking eye contact, which was a feat in and of itself, pulled Nicky in for an overly loud kiss.

Heidi scowled. “I hate y’all.”  

Brita laughed at the pair, but as their kiss became more heated, she turned her head, hoping to conceal the flush that ran the length of her neck.

She shook her head to clear it, mind suddenly muddled as she tried to piece together the feelings welling up inside her at such a public display. Her eyes flitted around the room, latching on to anything that could keep her attention.

She saw Gigi, who was perched on one of the tables, elbows resting atop her knees, head in her hands as Jackie rambled on about something to do with a new congresswoman who was ‘changing the political game.’

They seemed… comfortable. At ease around each other in a way that wasn’t unexpected, they had known each other their whole lives, yet Brita was still shocked when they announced they were dating. But now, looking at the two sharing gentle smiles over their respective lunches, Brita didn’t know why she never put the two together before. The pair was well-matched. Their quiet intimacy seeped into their conversation, gentle giggles erupting every so often from their side of the room.

Brita again found herself oddly entranced.

Was that what it was like to love a woman?

Was it always so… tender?

Nausea filled the pit in her gut, and she turned away from the happy couple.

Internalized Homophobia.

She had read about it on the internet. Hadn’t batted her eye at the definition the first time, but now it seemed to be coming back to her.

It didn’t feel good, not at all. Confronting that about herself. Seeing such blatant representation of something she had learned to bury so long ago.

But it wasn’t impossible.

She knew that to get to the bottom of this… whatever it was she was feeling, she had to confront it head on. She had to understand where it came from and why it seemed to hurt her so much.

These girls, these couples moreover, were showing her that it didn’t have to be so hard. That there was a chance for happiness, unabashed joy even. Love.

And that, funnily enough, gave her hope.

Heidi chuckled from beside her, noticing her red face. “You sure you don’t like girls, Miss Filter?”

It took everything in her not to flinch.

Instead, Brita simply shrugged.

And she counted that a victory.

…

Widow started as she nearly ran headfirst into a lanky brunette.

Before she could so much as say something, the figure had bolted toward the school building. Widow just watched him go, an amused smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. As she rounded the sports shed, she overheard her friend’s voice clear and brash as always.

“Matthews only cares if your paper’s in fucking English, doesn’t matter the content.”

A short blonde girl rolled her eyes pointedly and went to say something, but Dahlia stopped her with a hand. “You know the rules yeah? Change the first and last word for each paragraph.”

The girl nodded.

Dahlia pulled out a handful of loose papers and held them out to the freshman, who grabbed them wordlessly. “Now get lost.”

Widow smiled as the young kid scampered off.  

“You really should charge them more,” she called out.

Dahlia started at the sound of another voice, but relaxed as she identified the source.

She smirked, shrugging. “Consider it a donation to charity.”

“I dunno if you can count having half the freshman class cheat off of you for tax write-offs.”

Dahlia chuckled.

“You ‘bout done here?” Widow asked, gesturing to the makeshift office Dahlia had set up.

The younger girl nodded, throwing papers haphazardly into her open backpack.

Widow looked around, the breeze ruffling her curls and sending a shiver down her spine. “Yeah, let’s get outta here, this place gives me the creeps.”

“You think this place is bad, you should see the old greenhouse. That shit’s fuckin’ haunted, man.” Dahlia shook her head.

Widow’s eyes lit up. “The WHAT?”

Dahlia turned to stare wide eyed at her. “You serious? You ain’t ever gone by it?”

Widow shook her head dumbly.

Dahlia chuckled, flinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way, bitch.” Widow smiled.

They walked for only ten minutes, past the baseball field and through the line of trees that bordered the athletic quad. Through a patch of thick brush they came to a small clearing. An old greenhouse stood practically tethered to the surrounding vegetation, only because of the fading light reflecting against the frosted glass could Widow even make out the corners of the structure.

Before they could so much as stop, Widow was excitedly pulling her camera out of her school bag, fiddling with the aperture until she got the lighting perfect on the small screen in front of her.

Dahlia rolled her eyes fondly, allowing her friend to stalk around the building, snapping endless pictures, mumbling about shutter speed and light refraction. It was only a matter of time, and a few pleading words from Widow, before Dahlia found herself posing next to the greenhouse.

“I regret this already,” she groaned but allowed Widow to pose her in various absurd positions, all of which felt incredibly awkward, yet came out stunning.

The two girls ventured into the structure, finding the inside just as overgrown and sprawling as the outside. It felt much bigger on the inside, wooden tables covered in pots lined the walls, leaving only a center plot of ground to walk, but the walls were massive, green tint to the window panes making the ceiling appear vaulted.

“This place is gorgeous, oh my god!” Widow exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in excitement. She whipped around to face Dahlia, eyes alight with her signature mischief. “Oh my god, D, we could totally give this place a makeover.”

Dahlia went to protest, because really? But Widow started talking a mile a minute before she could get a word in.

“Just move that plant over there and that table against the far wall, and we could probably fit a couch in here if we turned it sideways. My dad has this old one in the basement that we don’t use. We could get Jaida’s truck and haul it here. And I know Crystal would fucking love to paint in this place. Not to mention we could totally smoke here without getting caught. And—”

Dahlia finally butted in. “What do I look like? Fuckin’ HGTV?”

Widow rolled her eyes, turning to face her friend, the plea evident in her tone. “This place could be a really bangin spot, D,” she implored. “Plus, with it gettin cold an’ all, we’ve got fuck all to do.”

Dahlia sighed. “Remind me why we’re friends.” Even as she said it, Dahlia couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up the sides of her face.

“Because you love me.” Widow whined, pulling Dahlia closer, and peppering kisses against the side of her face.

Dahlia pushed her off gently, miming vomiting, and Widow just laughed.

The two cleared off a bit of the tables, each setting up across from each other. They fell into a comfortable silence, inhaling and exhaling the late autumn breeze, watching as their breath danced in the air.

“You talked to Gigi?” Widow finally asked, shattering their peaceful silence.

Dahlia sighed, long and low. “Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Said I was sorry about the stuff at the party. I didn’t know… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I had no clue.”

“None of us did.”

“Yeah, but it was kinda my fault in the first place.”

Widow shrugged. “It woulda come out one way or another.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dahlia bit her lip, refusing to meet Widow’s eyes.

“But?”

“But, I still gotta talk to Jan.”

Widow sighed, but nodded her head knowingly. “Yeah, you do,” she agreed.

“I just don’t know how the fuck to go about it.”

Widow scoffed. “Maybe start with ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Dahlia groaned, letting her head drop into her open hands. “Fuck, man. I really messed up.”

“You knew that when you fell for another girl’s boyfriend,” Widow replied.

“Yeah, but it just got so complicated.”

Widow nodded, smiling sadly. “That’s life for ya. Doesn’t mean you don’t do the right thing.”

Dahlia nodded into her hands, breathing in and out slowly. When she finally looked up to meet Widow’s eyes, she nodded. “She and Bryce broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me last week. I didn’t know how to feel.”

There was a pause. “How do you feel?” Widow asked.

Dahlia looked at her for a moment, mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “I dunno. I thought I’d be… happy? I guess. But I just feel… nothing.”

Widow nodded. “Well, hey, if you’re ever feeling down, just know that Joe asks me at least once a month if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dahlia laughed, even though she hadn’t wanted to. “I’ve still got it,” she joked.

Widow rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ve always had it, bitch. You just been wastin’ it on guys you couldn’t have.”

“Yeah yeah, all right, who are you, my therapist?”

Widow suddenly got very serious, her voice grave. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s fuckin’ terrifying.”

“Hey!” Dahlia yelled, flinging a handful of dirt at her friend.

Widow held up her hands in surrender. “Your mind is a scary place, D.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

…

Heidi looked up as the door to the house across the street opened and closed, revealing an exhausted looking Jaida.

The All-Star player exhaled loudly, leaning against her front door. When she opened her eyes, she saw Heidi and had the decency to look embarrassed.

Heidi just smiled knowingly. “You too?”

The tension in Jaida’s shoulders dissipated as she recognized Heidi’s meaning. “Dude,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know.” Heidi chuckled.

“It’s like… they don’t know how to act like people.”

“I know!” Heidi agreed. “What’s with that?”

“The fuck if I know.” Jaida smiled warmly.

“Promise me if I ever get old and start acting like that you’ll just shoot me in the head.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Jaida chuckled.

“Hey!” Heidi scoffed, waving the bowl she had around animatedly.

Jaida just laughed, easy and light.

“Whatcha got there?” She motioned to the Tupperware in Heidi’s hands.

A mischievous smile broke out across Heidi’s face. “Banana pudding,” she winked. “Best you’ve ever had, I guarantee.”

Jaida’s eyes lit up and she raised a brow inquisitively at the dish.

“Go grab a few spoons and you can try some.” Heidi nodded.

“A few?”

“If you think we the only ones with crazy family on Thanksgiving, you got another thing comin’.”

As if on cue, the door to Jackie’s house banged open, the aforementioned girl storming out the door and into the street, breathing harshly. Heidi could feel the anger and hurt rolling off her in waves, and felt sympathy well up inside her. She knew Jackie’s family was rough, they’d been especially difficult the past month with her relationship with Gigi coming to light.

Heidi didn’t think twice about waving her over with a sweeping gesture.

“Hey, guys,” Jackie exhaled, the lines beside her face appearing deeper than they had a few days ago.

The two gave her sympathetic looks.

Heidi clocked the moment Jackie noticed the dish in her hands, her eyes widening a fraction. Heidi patted the ground beside her. “Jaida’s gonna go grab spoons.”

Jaida rolled her eyes but made her way back into the house.

Just then, Nicky’s door opened and the French beauty made her way outside, lighting a cigarette like a reflex as she noticed the girls. She waltzed over to them, smiling all the while. “I thought the point of this holiday was that you were supposed to spend time with your family.”

Before either of them could answer, Crystal’s door banged open.

“Nicky, that better not be what I think it is!”

Nicky’s eyes went wide and she quickly doused her cigarette with her shoe. The french beauty turned on her heel, offering a wide and not at all suspicious smile to her girlfriend. “Ma préféré! I do not know what you mean.”

Crystal raised a challenging eyebrow as she made her way over to the three girls. She surveyed the two on the ground, who pointedly looked away, not about to get in the middle of whatever the fuck those two were on about.

“Mhmmm.” Crystal rolled her eyes.

Jaida appeared again, with several spoons and her own tray of biscuits.

Jackie got up excitedly and rushed back into her house, claiming that she had food too.

The group set up their small feast in the middle of the numerous parked cars that lined the cul de sac. Chatting animatedly about their respective family drama.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Widow, holding a vat of green beans that her family wouldn’t eat, even though she swore they were seasoned to perfection.

Slowly, one by one, each of the houses in the cul de sac opened and closed, girls pouring out of them, some with food, others with hopeful smiles.

Gigi had bounded over to the group, arms extended with a pot of mac ‘n cheese. She had sidled up right next to Jackie, the new couple whispering in hushed voices, blush high on their cheeks.

Brita joined them not long after, an array of silverware in her hands, and plopped down with Heidi.

Next was Dahlia, with a bottle of wine in each hand.

When Jan joined the group, she looked skeptically at the bottles, but bravely took a swig from each, wincing a bit at the taste.

At some point Rock had snuck into the circle, her occasional odd comment taking the group off guard at the suddenness of her appearance.

The comfortable conversation slowly petered out when Aiden arrived.

The black-haired girl gave a weak smile, gesturing down to the pot in her hands. “I brought stuffing,” she spoke softly.

There was silence.

The group stared at her, and Aiden stared back

The silence went on, each girl’s eyes flitting about the circle, unwilling to be the first to speak.

Until, Rock bit the bullet. “Thank god someone here knows what real Thanksgiving food is!”

There was another beat of silence.

And then conversations resumed.

Slowly at first.

The tension was still there, Aiden wasn’t forgiven, but the tense atmosphere eased a bit as the black-haired girl took up a seat on the outskirts of the group next to Rock, placing her dish in the middle of the circle.

Heidi surveyed the scene, smiling at the sight. A mixture of voices bubbled up from all sides as the girls fell into new, comfortable conversations.

She marveled at the fading color of the trees, signaling the change of season, and the coming winter. As she glanced back over to the group of girls gathered in the center of the street, head clouded, heart full, the only emotion she could pinpoint was hope.

Hope that the girls of the Blue Neighborhood had what it took to tackle the rest of their senior year.

[5ammi90]

Spoilers ahead....

Rewatching series 1 of Doctor Who and can I just say I absolutely love Harriet Jones.

I completely forgot that the Doctor invited Mickey.

When you really pay attention you notice how many times they mention Bad Wolf.

I hate Adam, he’s a smug bastard who thinks he knows everything. I’m so glad he got dumped.

Father’s Day makes me so sad, I really feel for Rose. Honestly if looks could kill Rose would have dropped dead in an instant. I am almost in tears when Rose hugs her dad after he figures out who she is. I think this is the only time we see Chris without the leather jacket. I love the image of the tardis fading in, especially the gold shimmer effect. Dang it Rose he told you to not touch the baby, you had one job. It sucks because her dad would have stayed alive except Rose touched the baby and has doomed everyone. Oh Jackie, I give up on you. Oh wait it was Pete’s fault he gave her the baby. Bye tardis. Well I’m sad now, bye Pete wish we got you instead of the parallel world Pete. My heart hurts 😭😭😭.

Are you my mummy? It still freaks me out but yay Jack.

I love Boom Town when the three of them and Mickey get to have a nice lunch and tell stories and jokes. Then the end them repeating she’s an egg, for some reason it kills me. Bye Mickey well until the next episode.

Yay back to Satellite 5. Awww Linda with a y, she’s so cute. The weakest link scares me, the Anne-droid is super creepy. After seeing Jack in the RAF Coat him wearing stuff from top shop makes me laugh. Jack bouncing around in a tennis outfit kills me. Also I love how quickly he gets out and the fact that he was prepared with the laser gun. Doctor is like woo death, let’s do this. Dang it Doc you fixed something just for something else to mess it up. Like when you get rid of Harriet which allowed Harold to slip in. I love Jack so much, I wish we got to keep him as a companion. I feel like The Doctor gives himself to much credit, this outcome could have happened any way. Something else could have gotten rid of the news channels and replaced it with the games. So close but yet so far. Uh oh, look out for the oncoming storm, also Jack losing his mind even though they haven’t know each other that long. Jailbreak jailbreak. Run for your lives he has a gun, you are doomed. I swear series one was peak comedy, also I didn’t realise Jack had a tardis key. I feel bad for The Doctor because every time he thinks he’s gotten rid of the daleks they just come back like cockroaches. Also I love that The Doctor just straight up thought Jack had killed Lynda. Poor controller, her last few minutes were spent planning on how to destroy the daleks. Wow even Jack knows about the time war, I never noticed that before. Just him saying no sends shivers down my spine. I love Chris’ rants, his facial expressions and the tone of his voice is just perfect. Don’t get me wrong David has some good ranting moments but Chris has it down pat. I honestly wish we had him for more than one series but the bbc clearly couldn’t see the potential and didn’t care how he was treated. Yay for some reason the daleks have been religious. Chinwagging, I love that word. How on earth did the emperor actually surive, these daleks are insane. Chris actually portrays a man whose just been through a war very well, like you can believe that he’s lost everything just through facial expressions. These daleks can and will cut a bitch. When it’s the daleks he’s thrown right back to the war especially Chris’ Doctor because for him it just happened. It’s still an open wound for him. Jealous Rose is funny because we are about to have daleks coming at us from every angle this is not the time to be jealous. Also Jack is brilliant. He’s got more brains than he’s given credit for. Bye Jack can’t wait to see you in series three. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I wish he became a full time companion. Bye Rose, don’t do anything stupid. Hey look Mickey, haven’t seen him in ages. I’d rather destroy the humans on earth than let any daleks escape, especially considering that colonies are already out there. I get really sad when Lynda is found because she was so cute and awkward. I love how The Doctor thinks the message of bad wolf is meant for him when really it’s there for Rose. Great idea Rose open the tardis and release the light that turned someone into an egg. The Anne-droid would have been useful if there were multiple droids and if it didn’t waste time saying it’s catchphrase. I mean it took out three of those things at once. Tardis isn’t gonna help you if you kick it. Is it bad that I was happy Rodrick died, does that make me a terrible person. I love Rose at this point were she’s tell Jackie about Pete because she’s in pain and because she’s hurting her mum but she has to because she knows Jackie won’t listen otherwise. Even though he might not see her for months Mickey still tries to help her no matter what. I mean even at this point he might never see her again. No Lynda 😢. I can’t believe they forgot about the giant window. The ending of this episode is one of my favourites because The Doctor finally has someone who understands what it’s like for him everyday but he has to lose that or Rose will die. As well as him having to basically kill him to save her. Also Rose is a BAMF right now. I’m still sour about Jack being left. I will never get over it. David is so cute.

This turned into a seriously long post. I apologise. I’m done I swear. Will rewatch series two some point next week.

[hollenka99]

A Day Long Overdue

Summary: Jack is allowed to spend his birthday with the egos. (Essentially a sequel to A Talk With The Creator).

Hey, guess which AU isn’t dead! It’s been like 3 months since I last posted something for the Creator AU (or anything for that matter) but I’m back. Have some bittersweet fluff with a hint of angst.

Jack wakes up, older than he remembers being. He's in a bed, a medical one at that. It would appear he was in Schneep's medical bay. There is no recollection of being sent here. The grogginess is interfering with that. He should probably find an assistance button to alert the doctor. That's when he notices the cards. Upon further inspection, he can only assume these are for a birthday. His birthday. He is able to read some of them before a commotion is heard in a different part of the building. Henrik stands in the doorway, seemingly incapable of not staring at him. Unsure of how to break the ice, Jack comes out with "I guess I'm not 27 anymore, am I?" "Not really." His doctor remains stationary, smiling until his attention diverts to the collection of footsteps approaching. "Wait! He's not ready yet." "Schneep, what the hell are you doing? We want to see Jack too." That sounded like Chase. "Just one minute." Henrik points to someone Jack can't see. "You see him first." "So it is your birthday today. We got you cards and presents. But there is something I think you will like better than all that." "What is it then?" Jack smiles humourously. Schneep turns his head back to the corridor. "Come now." Dressed in jogging bottoms and a hoodie which swallowed him, a teenager stepped into his view. Eyes brim the longer he takes in the image of Jack sitting up in bed. His face has matured a little since they'd last been in the same room. All those months he'd been petrified at the thought of him being hurt while held captive, where he'd pointlessly jotted down memorable events in the hope the youngest ego was still alive to possibly read them one day. All that fruitless hoping and searching must have finally produced a result. It had caused him to be standing feet away. The kid even had a bit of a quiff going on. Jackie. Fuck, this was Jackie. "Hey." Jack breathes out an incredulous "No way." Jackie takes a seat on the bed. The hero's embrace is stronger than the one he can return. Jack gets so lost in mutterings of 'Oh my god' and 'You're okay' that it accidentally becomes melded together at one point. When they both register the blunder, they dissolve into snickers. "I think I forgot how to English properly." "I think so too." "How long have you been back?" "September 2017." "We missed each other by a month?" Jack stares at the baby of their little family. "Yeah." "That sucks." "You have no idea." Tears are wiped but it proves futile as they are immediately replaced. "We've all missed you so much." "You can say that again." Jack glances past Jackie's shoulder to see a small crowd crammed by the entrance to the room. Before he is allowed to greet anyone else, Henrik insists on detaching him from as many wires as was necessary. Once given the all clear, Jack is left beaming as he is encompassed by three of his friends. Chase has a revelation about someone who shouldn't be missing out on the action. He sprints down the corridor to fetch them. He is perched on the bed, assuring Henrik he felt absolutely fine, when the two return. One near-inaudible 'Crikey!' is all it takes for him to freeze. Surely not. Yet there was one of his oldest friends. Angus didn't appear so run down. Was this for real? First Jackie was home and now Angus was healthier. He hadn't been awake for very long and it is already shaping to be a fantastic day. "You look much better than the last time I saw you." "Speak for yourself, mate." He can't help but sob as he approaches Angus. At least the survival hunter wasn't leaving him to be the only one. He is so grateful for the others allowing the two of them to stay in each other's hold for as long as they needed. It's been so long since his Australian friend has been this present. God, it's been so so very long. Despite Henrik not being sure it was for the best, the five of them lead Jack to the living room. Apparently, they had bought a cake to commemorate the day. He had always been partial to red velvet. Although, thinking about it, that was likely the point of them picking that flavour. Cake was still cake either way. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity for a slice. He notices a German Shepherd hovering by Jackie. He assures his dog that she doesn't need to work at that moment. Work? Gwen, Jackie clarifies, is a service dog to help with his mental health. She sleeps in his room and keeps him company for most occasions excluding his heroing duties. Oh, okay. Well, that just makes her even more of a good girl, doesn't it? Marvin mentions the expansion of his cat collection. Hardeen and Houdini tended to do their own thing while Trico was up for cuddles most of the time. There was also his rabbit whom he had dubbed Tim the Enchanter. Hang on, hang on, so Marvin was saying that not only did he have the Egyptian goddess of cats but also one of the best known magicians in history and his brother, the best fictional creature in gaming as well as a minor character in Monty Python as pets? The magician's completely straight expression as he challenges Jack to fight him causes him to burst into laughter. Trico turning out to be from a small breed makes it all the better. Chatter explodes between the group over cake slices. Okay, let him get this straight. He has been a coma for the past year and a half. Schneep still isn't sure what exactly the illness that caused this was. Regardless, it's good to have him conscious once more. It is not his 28th birthday as he had initially presumed but his 29th. In that time, a fan game was released which aided in Angus regaining some strength. There were four new egos: a community-conceived zombie called Robbie, Shawn Flynn who was born from a Bendy voice acting gig. Jameson Jackson the pumpkin carving actor that communicated via BSL and an android nicknamed S34Nnor. On top of all that, there was a significant lack of green in anyone's hair. Jack wasn't going to say it out loud but perhaps Chase's beard could use a trim. Not only was Sean doing voice acting gigs, he had travelled across America and Europe with his own comedy show. He was interviewing celebrities too. Sorry, what do they mean, Sean met Ryan Reynolds?! Wow, that was huge. They mention Sean also hanging out with some guy called Bryan Dechart but that name doesn't ring bells. "Okay, Chase, do the line." Jackie encourages. "Alright but that was Sean's series so... keep that in mind." Chase take a breath in preparation then, "Hi, I'm Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife." They all cheer and laugh at that. S34Nnor speaks up. "As a combination of both the character of Connor and Sean, I believe I can improve upon your already good attempt." The line is repeated and everyone becomes excitable once more. "Yes!" The outburst is Chase's as he points to the android with a grin. When the noise has died down again, his expression appears to make his new words honest. "I'm planning on stealing that jacket one day." "You're going to have to fight me for it." Jackie gives a disingenuous glare. "Besides, I'm part machine now sooo go off, I guess." Jack loves the atmosphere. It's been years since it has been this lively here. If this was February 2019 then it must be over two years since their household has been whole. After Halloween 2016, they lost Jackie's playfulness. His absence had been deeply felt throughout the house. It didn't matter now. Who cares if he's so out of the loop that this Cyberlife stuff and any other running jokes don't make sense to him? This house has been missing this sort of energy. He refuses to risk killing it. However, one comment piques his interest. Something tells him to broach this subject carefully. It seemed like it may be sensitive. "Part machine?" "Oh right. Well, I don't technically have any knees anymore." Jackie gestures to his legs. "Prosthetics, both of them." That made sense, given the comment. It doesn't faze him in the slightest that Jackie has had life altering surgery at such a young age. Nope, not at all. "....Prosthetics." "Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. I just hurt my legs when I was getting out." "He has been doing very well with the physical therapy." Henrik smiles. Coming back with a drink in hand and a grin, Jacques pats the superhero's shoulder. "Got a little crush too. What is her name? Aisha?" "Nyesha. And I don't have a crush on her. We're just friends. Not even close ones at that. Tori is aesthetically admirable too." "What a sophisticated way of pronouncing attractive." Marvin teases. "Stop!" The hood was up now with the surrounding strings yanked. "Okay, okay, I think I've got the idea." Jack leans closer. "Promise me you'll let me know if you ask her or anyone else out, alright?" Out of resignation, Jackie mumbles out a "Sure.", only to sit up and divert the attention to the magician. "Marv has a partner though." "Oh, does he?" At this, the new subject of the conversation chuckles, happily telling Jack whatever he wants to know. Jack tries to protest when Jackie is given alcohol. With a soft smile, the youngest member of this family reminded Jack he was 18 now. Of course he is. It was 2019. Jackie has been 18 for some seven months now. July next year, he'll be entering his 20s. Actually, now that Jack thought about it, he and Sean would be 30 next February. Well then. That wasn't crazy to think about. Speaking of Sean, the two of them should really sit down and have a discussion. Although hazy, memories were slowly converging to form recollections of the disastrous dispute. There was a lot to talk about. He's lost eighteen months of his life. There were amendments to be made. If Sean's been on a worldwide tour, he wants to hear about it from the horse's mouth. That must have been an amazing experience. And Signe, he wonders how she's doing. He always regretted the way she kept getting indirectly caught up in his and Sean's dysfunctional friendship. He should wish Sean a happy birthday. That's probably a decent first step to brokering peace. Plus, if his long time friend woke up from a coma on his birthday, that would probably make his day. Jack can only hope Sean would agree. He makes an off-hand comment about this. The idea of reconciling with Sean gets shot down within seconds. Jesus, he doubts he's seen this level of hatred in Marvin towards anyone other than Anti. What the hell did Sean do to warrant this sort of universal repulsion towards him? "Trust me, you do not want to know." Henrik grumbles. Right. In that case, he'd better leave it until tomorrow. Jack is careful when enquiring about Chase and Henrik's families. He's pleasantly surprised when it is generally positive. Chase sees his kids on weekends now which is fantastic. But surely Noah couldn't be little over a week away from turning 5. He was just 3. Willow and Alina were much more confident readers. Jack remembers two little girls who struggled to piece together syllables in simple sentences. They would both be beginning primary school in September. Likewise, Elias was already in his first year of secondary school. Could people stop getting older? He can't keep up. He laughs with them when Chase says "You think they're growing up too fast for you." They order pizza in the evening. Schneep is still against him eating solid food but relents once more. Jack has eaten cake today and there have been no repercussions. As Jacques and Jackie debate with Angus about whether stuffed crust enhanced the experience, Jack took the opportunity to get to know Jameson. With Chase translating, he discovers this is a unique ego. An entire life before coming to exist here. It's such a novel concept to Jack. Even he, as the first ego Sean ever made, can't imagine having proper memories prior to creation. He's used to the others being born with limited memories. Man, he could listen to this guy's anecdotes of the early 20th century all night if he and Chase were willing to carry on that long. They are still hanging around in the living room as midnight is crossed. Some egos have already excused themselves to retire to bed. Once Jack realises it is nearing 1am, he urges everyone else to head to their beds. They shouldn't stay up for him. Besides, he was the one who didn't sleep, remember. He would never wish for them to become sleep deprived for his sake. They refuse and remain. Before long, the man who never slept was experiencing long blinks. Was he tired? Wait, no, this isn't right. The only time he's felt this close to collapse is when... when it's a medical emergency. Like when his throat was bleeding. Or when all he knew was that he didn't feel well. Henrik crouches before him, steadying him in his hold. It's not okay. Stop saying it's going to be okay. Something's wrong, incredibly wrong. Henrik takes his hands, encouraging him to stand. The doctor explains it's likely the sudden regaining of consciousness is catching up with him. Assurances that it was perfectly fine for him to be feeling like this are repeated as they head towards the infirmary. All Henrik wanted to do was monitor him safely. Jack's arm couldn't help slipping from where it was wrapped across his friend's shoulder. Schneep adjusted it without hesitation every time. He defies his eyes any attempt they make to gain an advantage over him. Even when laying on the bed, he refuses the urge to relax. Henrik promises nothing will happen. He is as much of a Good Doctor as he is his friend, right? Please trust he will try to provide the best care he's able. He knows he has failed him before but- "Never!" Jack protests. "You are little bit tired. Is okay for you to sleep. Don't need to fight the sleep, my friend." "Not..." He drifts, only to remember himself a minute later. "Not a failure." "Thank you. Now please rest. We can have a lot of the chit chatting in the morning, yes?" "A'right." A roll of the eyes. A drowsy half smile. A prolonged exhale. And that's all it takes for them to lose him once more. No matter how much Henrik sits, gripping his friend's hand as the monitors revert to the figures they were displaying previously, it won't prove helpful in the slightest to permanently wake Jack up. When Marvin regretfully comes to urge him to get some sleep himself, Henrik waves him off. Just a few more minutes, okay? Then he'll go to bed. As much as they had to fault Sean on, they couldn't say he hadn't done something good today. Henrik can only hope Jack had enjoyed his birthday. Maybe they'd be able to celebrate with him next year too. Maybe. Either way, he couldn't stay here the whole night. With a final check of the equipment, he bids him goodnight. "One of these days, we will get longer. I promise."

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[finderskeepersff]

72. Part 3

Sofia doesn’t really wish to speak, she ate her food in the bedroom and said she can take care of Cartier on her own, she doesn’t need any help at all. I think it is hurting her more than she is letting on “Jackie, you should have seen him” Marcel pointed across the table “he grabbed Erwin, one hand and then the next hand, bang. He is down for the count, it was nice to see. I think the move was great but it makes me think. Why did you not hit my son’s? They are not the most strongest boys so I am shocked you didn’t hit them back after seeing that punch” I laughed “erm, it was more of a thing of I didn’t want to upset Sofia. I didn’t want to cause drama, she has been so excited to come here so I backed away and ran off, but I was angry. I didn’t want the trouble, I did already upset Sofia prior. I am going through things and Sofia is there for me, I guess we need each other. But I need to suck it up with my own issues and just be there for Sofia, she needs me” placing my fork down “if you upset Sofia, I will have to use my Machete on you” sitting back in the seat “I wouldn’t, not in that way. Look, I been through a lot in my life. I dealt with things the wrong way, I was set on the wrong path, I was lost but I met Sofia. I regret how I treated Celine, she didn’t deserve it but I was lost and I didn’t love her like that, I am trying to change and be better. I am having my own daughter so it scares me that the things I done will curse my kids, you know. I don’t want that for them Marcel, but with Sofia. She is my everything and what she says goes, and that is it” I don’t want to give too much away “I heard that Celine and your family have had your fair share of trouble, Bryce. Oh that child, he is a so cute. The thing that gets me, he finds it hard to tell you the issue so he tells you a whole thing before he tells you he just wants an Apple, I worry for my grandchildren and this was it. I just hope she is ok” I think Sofia just needs time, they need to give her time.

I can’t really sleep so I am just watching some news channel, also I am waiting for Ethan to call me. He is supposed to update me on things but he hasn’t called me or anything, not yet anyways. Kyle was shocked to know I just left, he is glad I did. My phone finally rang “took your time” I answered “sorry, I had to check on the club. How is Barbados? I see you are on the beach and shit while we suffer here” rubbing my face “it’s not like that, trust me. I rather be there, how is things. Did Mia move back in? You dealt with it?” I need to know she good before she starts complaining about it “yeah, it’s dealt with but like I am still fixing their shit, making sure it’s perfect. Also we got a meeting in Atlanta, Raphael wants it so I said Atlanta, make it easier for you. When are you back? We need you back” that is a good question “erm, Ethan. I am not sure, can’t you deal without me? You can, everything is set, I did all the shit you need?” I don’t get it “niggas play up all of the time, Miami. You need to deal with that with Amira. Cassius, nobody listens to me, it’s you they listen too. They scared of you out here, you know that. You out there just makes people free to do shit, I don’t know. Anyways, so is that it. No more Celine?” Looking down at my hand “I don’t want to lose my girl out of this, if I ever try to say do something in regards to her, ignore me. Just leave her, fuck that bitch. She ain’t my problem anymore. You remember when we went Harlem, that time burned that house down?” I asked “I do, why?” I wish that guy was alive, I want to kill Leyton’ dad but he dead “I want you to find out if they have family and peers, let me know” I want more suffering for every tear Sofia is dropping.

I want to do more damage to that nigga, I am so damn angry again. But also horny, I don’t know why. Let me try and go to bed, I need to sleep this off I am so fucking horny and it was so random. I was just speaking on doing dumb shit and now I want my dick sucked, I am going crazy as fuck and I need to sleep this shit off. Getting up from the couch, grabbing the remote from the table and turning the TV off. This shit is so wild to me that I am horny, it has been a while since I have had sex but this whole scenario shouldn’t be making me horny, this is really bad of me. Jogging down to the bedroom, it’s dark as shit and kind of creepy here. Pushing the door open “oh shit!” I spat closing the door, Sofia is awake and scared me “woah” I opened the door again “I am sorry but I got scared, I didn’t expect you to be awake” Sofia is sat on the edge of the bed, she is not bothered at all. Dragging my eyes down a little, I can see a little nipple from here, nodding my head because I can confirm that is indeed some nipple and it’s well appreciated right now “are you coming in or nah?” Sofia said “yeah, I am” stepping into the room and closing the door “you ok bub?” I don’t like to see her so down, I know Sofia and I know something like that will affect her “just don’t feel safe, I am just thinking about what happened” sitting next to Sofia on the bed “I am here baby” placing my hand on her leg “but you wasn’t, I woke up and you wasn’t here. How can she know that her daughter got raped Cassius?” placing my arm around Sofia “I am sorry, I am here now” I should have stayed close by.

Sofia needs to cry it out and like Henry says to me, only I can fight my demons myself but the people I love will me to help me help myself which worked “I love you so much Sofia, nothing will ever change that” pressing a kiss to the top of her head “I will be fine Cassius” Sofia sniffled, thinking back to what Marcel said maybe I am being selfish by not giving her my last name but it’s not to do with that, it’s me “I should have known, I made you come here for what?” shaking my head “no, you bought me here and showed me Barbados, I met Marcel. He is the coolest nigga I know, I like him. I met Jackie, she cool, I met Hope. See I remember these people Sofia, and these are the people that will be at our wedding” Sofia didn’t say anything, it’s like she has given up on me and I am not sure how to feel on that “I just want to sleep, can you please lay with me. Just keep me safe” nodding my head “I got you, I am coming to bed anyways. I didn’t know, I am sorry ok” moving my arm back, I was just thinking she was asleep when she wasn’t.

I feel bad, but the relief on that. My dick needed it, I feel better “thank you Sofia” locking my phone, I am not a cheater. I masturbated to my wife looking sexy as fuck, I ain’t want to see nobody else’s body besides her. I am set now, I had a my morning release and now I can get on with my day. Throwing the balled up tissue in the toilet and flushing it “oh shit, my bad” cant leave my babies on the side, taking some tissue off and wiping the floor clean. Imagine that, I hated it though. I had to be slightly quiet with the way I did it, throwing the tissue in the toilet and flushed it again “man” I said to myself “how many times you going to do that?” I jumped at Marcel’ voice “erm, coming out” let me wash my hands quick time, there is no real place to hide here at all. I hope he didn’t hear any of that performance, it was good for me but still. Pulling open the door “you got stomach problems?” He said, I chuckled “erm, nah. Just reading, had my phone with me” Marcel shook his head “and Daron is here, he won’t say anything to you” oh great, her uncle is back.

Making my way to the living and kitchen area “I will make you some food” Sofia got up from her seat, she didn’t need too “thank you” Daron looked at me “can I speak to you?” I don’t really want too “is it to punch me again or what?” I asked “no, just please” he gestured to go out the back “ok, I will be back” I said to Sofia, walking behind her uncle. I think this time I will swing for him, I ain’t about to have his shit at all, not again. I guess I can have my morning cigarette, grabbing my packet out “you smoke a lot” he pointed at me “I know, stressed” placing the cigarette between my lips “I heard, my dad told me. It hurts me with what happened, I didn’t know and I just wanted to say sorry and where is this guy now?” lighting my cigarette, placing my lighter in my pocket. Moving my cigarette back “dead” I said as I blew the smoke out “dead?” he repeated, it just hit me. I am speaking to this man like I know him and he knows what I do when he don’t “what I mean is that, he died” let me correct myself “do you know how?” shaking my head “I am in shock, I didn’t say anything to Sofia. My dad said not too but he said you have been a great help and you helped him with Grace, I judged you” I shrugged “we all do I guess, I just want Sofia happy” that is my main thing on my list of things.

Sofia went with Jackie to get a few things for the home, she has taken Cartier so I am with Marcel, I mean I like him so I don’t mind “how has she been? She seems ok” Marcel asked “erm, ok. She didn’t sleep until I did, she wanted me close. I think we don’t need to bring it up, it’s best if we let Sofia move on. She did and she thought Grace moved on too but clearly not” shaking my head, that bitch is not shit at all “did you think about what I said? About Sofia not being a Bundy anymore, I would like you to do that for her. Move on, I would like to see that” licking my top lip, that is a lot “we are getting married” I said “soon” I added “what if that soon was too late Cassius, anything can happen. You love that woman so you take her, you take her and you love her. I want to give her away, please” this is crazy “what is wrong?” Marcel asked “because I just don’t think I am worthy of her Marcel, you don’t know me. You don’t know my real life! If I die then I leave Sofia a widow, least she is free” he don’t get it “I think my grand daughter would rather know she is yours than being Bundy still” and it hit me, Sofia has said them words to me before. Looking away from Marcel, she has said that to me and I promised her “you know her so well?” I mumbled “I know what I see Cassius, you love her. You love her so much but you get very uptight with the word marriage, think of it like this. It only changes her last name, the rest is the same” he sighed out “I just want to give her away Cassius, she has no father nor does she have a mother but I want to be the one to give her away to you, I want to do that” I feel like it’s put on me “I know her father, he wasn’t a great guy” he dead too “you seem to know the bad Cassius” Marcel said “I did notice, and maybe I am being nosey but you have a lot of tattoos. You have a lot of scars on your body” looking over at Marcel “bullet and stab wounds, I know them markings. I got them myself” licking my lips nodding my head “I nearly died, I have cheated death” Marcel squinted his eyes at me “you’re not an accountant are you?” I shrugged “I count money” I said laughing “oh god, look let’s just change the subject, I got respect for you and I don’t want to say about anything” I can’t tell him what I am.

Marcel is a character, he just keeps on smiling at me “I stabbed a man before” I knew he was going to say something “killed him?” I asked wanting to know if he killed a man “no, he is alive. He dated Jackie” I snorted laughing “no way! Seriously?” I spat, he nodded his head “we all got a past but I am just curious that you have so many scars, even on your legs” I blew out air “does it look that bad? Cause Sofia sees this?” Marcel pointed at me “if Jackie finds out you are both not married and sleeping in the same bed she will not be happy, I didn’t say a word to her about it but it’s just noticeable” that means it looks bad “I got beat up so bad, I got stabbed, and shot at and then they beat me so much, kept on kicking me and kicking me. This is the time I just met Sofia, I was in hospital. Got taken out before the police got to me, and the first place I went too was to see Sofia at her work, she was devastated but I didn’t want Sofia to think I didn’t want to know her but it was because I got beat. I thought I was dead, that was the last thing I remember. Then I got shot in my leg, I got stabbed when I was locked up, but here I am” he wanted to know, clearing my throat “you right Mr Bundy, Sofia said to me she wanted to take my last name that time we had a disagreement, I promised her. So Sofia has always wanted to change her last name, I have not really fulfilled it and I think I should but I left the words I was going to say to Sofia at home, I wrote them” Marcel smiled at me “you don’t need no book Cassius” he placed his hand over his chest just over he heart “you have it here” he is not wrong “I think it will be nice to see you give her away, I knew Sofia wanted her dad to do it when she knew him but he wasn’t good at all. She gets let down so many times, its time” I said.

[vivalamusicaltheater]

Ok so now that I’ve thought a while about svtfoe finale I have some opinions

Things I liked:

Marco taking the wand from moon and Marco and Star walking through the portal hand in hand

The firstborn STILL tried to warn & help Star, even after she DIED. What a good unicorn daughter

Marco trying to use Star’s spells and then just creating some spells on the fly figuring it’d work better

Marco was willing to get STABBED to help Tom

We finally got to see Eclipsa’s butterfly form (and baby Meteora got a butterfly form)!

Baby Meteora learning how to dip down being plot relevant

Moon & Comet moment. Even tho Moon’s character isn’t great rn, I’m glad she got a moment with her mom

That Tomco moment (“ok can we recognize that Marco JUST FLIPPED A HORSE!” “I FLIPPED A HORSE!”). They are such good friends (and would’ve been such a cute ship), I love them. It’s really a shame this show didn’t do the tomstarco route (preferably in my opinion with Star and Tom both dating Marco but not each other, I’m not a huge fan of Tomstar and Star hasn’t proven to be a particularly good girlfriend to Tom, but it could be good either way).

Seeing the past queens again I love their designs (I want to know what Celena’s secrets are...)

Globgor, Eclipsa, and Meteora get to stay a happy family

Actually, surprisingly, I kinda liked Ponyhead in this episode? (A little bit). I liked how she tried to cheer Star up and then went “oh not again” when she thought Star was gonna get back together with Tom which I appreciated bc they’d already been together twice before and it hadn’t worked, and I liked that Ponyhead was aware enough to realize that probably wasn’t a good idea for them to try again

Janna! Her bonding moment with Marco where she actually said they were friends was so cute! And sbsjsvsjshs she dropped her heart rate to 0 for Marco what a legend. Janna Ordania, true ride or die.

More Jackie and her gf Chloe screen time (even if it was a few seconds. It was nice to see anyways)

Meteora and Mariposa get to grow up together after all

Star and Marco get a happy ending (and the show didn’t end with them kissing which was nice)

Oh does deleting the magic mean deleting the neverzone meaning Marco’s not 30 anymore?? I really really hope so that’d make any Marco ship so much less creepy. I’m accepting that as my canon thank you very much

Things I’m not sure how I feel about:

Hekapoo’s...complete neutrality towards her upcoming death? Ig it’s good that she evidently realized she’d done some bad stuff but uh...???

The pudding being able to keep your mind sharp in the magic dimension. On the one hand, I liked that there’s a REASON Glossaryck likes pudding so much and that we finally got an explanation for it, on the other hand I sorta wish that they’d figured that out BEFORE now. Now it kinda seems like the writers just needed something to explain how the Butterflies could stay focused in the magic dimension (but again, if they needed a plot device I’m glad it’s the pudding so...idk)

Ok what was the purpose of Tom riding the evil unicorn. I don’t get it. Don’t hate it or love it, am just confused.

Marco getting stabbed and hiding it from Tom and Star was some Good Angst Sh*t. The fact that that had absolutely no purpose, however, was not. I wish either Marco didn’t get stabbed, or there was actually some consequence to Marco getting stabbed as it was kinda pointless otherwise

The fact that both Star and Marco were willing to leave their families and worlds for the chance to be together. Obviously they care about each other, but they’re willing to give up their lives and families at 15 to be together? :/ (side note those shots of Marco huddled against the magic dimension rock were really pretty)

The portal thing. It didn’t make sense

Mewni and Earth being cleaved together. I mean on the one hand that’s cool, on the other hand that seems like it’s gonna create so many problems & just leaves me with a lot of questions. For example won’t humans just oppress monsters like mewmans did? Can Tom get back to his family? Is the underworld part of the Mewni dimension or is it it’s own? Did all the dimensions get merged into Mewnearth or just Mewni and Earth? How will Earth culture and Mewni culture learn to coexist?

Moon redemption. It seemed too easy, she didn’t really have to work for it! I mean her character was growing on me pre-her-working-with-Mina, but then she was revealed to be working with Mina and she made SOLARIAN WARRIORS I mean come on! I kinda wanted her to be redeemed bc I was unsatisfied with the Mina twist, but the way they did it was kinda :/ I want Star to be able to have a good relationship with her mother, but since Moon Did That and didn’t really face any consequences besides her daughter being mad at her for an episode...

That Solaria & Eclipsa & Meteora moment. I mean it was cute Solaria accepted them but she literally created Solarian warriors and committed monster genocide soooo...that’s definitely not enough to redeem her and it’s not great that she’s portrayed sympathetically

Things I didn’t like:

That they actually went with the “erase all the magic” plot line. Svtfoe is about Star the rebel princess, frequent subverter of expectations, so it was weird to me that they actually destroyed the magic and there wasn’t some twist like the four butterfly queens work together and unlock some super butterfly form or join hands in a circle around the Solarian Warriors and say the Whispering Spell or something else to defeat Mina. I’m surprised Star seeing her supposedly finished tapestry didn’t motivate her to find a different way because she’s Star Butterfly, rebel princess who fights for what’s right and nobody can tell her what she has to do, she finds her own way.

Eddie and River bumbling and telling Mina about the magic sanctuary. I wish River had saved Globgor bc it would really show he can be competent and would also be cute bc dad solidarity

Mina, after being built up as the big bad, was defeated way too easily

Glossaryck, the MHC, (and presumably all of the queens’ spells INCLUDING THE LASER PUPPIES) just. Died. I mean the MHC sucked so oh well about them and glossaryck was kinda the reason this all happened (which btw is very confusing. Why did he give the first queen the wand if he knew all this crap was gonna happen anyways?) so I’m not super sad about him but Star’s spells didn’t deserve that, nor did the other queens’, or the laser puppies!!

The fact that Moon and Star grabbed tha alligators by the eyeballs. I know that this is such a small thing but in the series finale for the main character to still be doing stuff that hurts other characters like that and for it to be treated as a joke...it just sits bad with me. They’ve tried to develop Star, and been mostly successful, but for her to still be doing stuff like this and being a bad girlfriend to Tom and spontaneously deciding that she hates magic and needs to get rid of it no matter what happens to magical creatures and such after she’s supposedly grown so much just seems counterintuitive and bad. Like I swear Star’s my favorite character (bet that’s a surprise with how much I’ve talked about Marco this post) but sometimes it’s so hard to like her it’s annoying

Mina lived. I mean what was the point of that? She’s not gonna learn to not be racist towards monsters and it looked like she got pretty killed by the unicorn in the magic dimension so like. What’s the point of her coming back

All the cruelty towards unicorns. I mean, the firstborn DIED. We saw her SKULL. What the F*CK that’s messed up! And the other unicorns died too, and the dark one also disappeared except for its skull. What was that about?! Were we supposed to just not care bc they’re made of magic? Bc if so that didn’t work

No but seriously it’s so messed up that Star’s unicorn daughter DIED and we saw her SKULL and it’s just treated as a joke what the hell that unnerved me sm

It was very anticlimactic how there weren’t any real challenges to the Butterflies destroying magic. Neither Mina nor the evil unicorn got anywhere close and for the series (not just season but SERIES) finale, you would think there’d be more of a final fight, and more tension/suspense so the final payoff seems more satisfying. Idk I just thought it went way too fast, especially for the actual end of the show. I thought the full time should be used for fighting Mina, not starco development (and I say this as a person who likes starco)

The cheek marks being gone. I know it makes sense with the plot of getting rid of the magic, and because mewmans were originally just humans, but since I didn’t like the magic-being-deleted plot line and because I have some sort of sentimental attachment to the cheek marks apparently, I don’t like that they’re gone

The uncertainty towards Tom/most characters from other dimensions’s fates. Again, I like starco, but even the most die-hard starco shippers probably think that the way characters who weren’t Star or Marco were just written off was unsatisfying, right? In particular, Tom deserves WAAAAAAAY better than he got. And Kelly, is her dimension merged with Mewnearth? Was the vision Ponyhead was describing actually what happened to her?

[paigenotblank]

Accidentally Ours (7/7)

Pairing: Tenth Doctor x Rose Tyler

Rating: Teen

Written for a prompt for Ten x Rose kid fic/family fic where they adopt kids left orphans that they meet on their travels / and also a prompt for Ten x Rose with a mix of adopted and biological kids (@tinyconfusion​). Tagging @doctorroseprompts​ and @timepetalscollective​ which I think both had those prompts. This chapter also has a little surprise for fans of the Classic Doctors.

Trope: Accidental Baby Acquisition 

Warnings: Kid Fic/ Baby Fic/ Pregnancy Fic

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

AO3 / TS

Rose held tightly to her daughters’ hands and glanced around the medical tent. She straightened her shoulders and with a sharp look around quickly sized up where she was needed most. It had been only two weeks since losing baby Melody, and though her body was completely healed due to the magic of the TARDIS medbay, emotionally she was still recovering. She felt her anger building at the time ship. You an’ I are gonna be having words later about bringin’ the girls into a war zone.

She led her daughters over to a woman who was trying to wrangle a small gaggle of children and two crying babies. She told Melody and Clara to play quietly with some of the younger kids, while she sat down next to the frazzled woman.

“Hello, I’m Rose.” She reached out her hand to the other woman, who smiled gratefully at Rose.

“Selphina.”

“Can I help?”

“Vord, yes. Thank you.” She handed Rose a bottle and the smaller of the two babies.

Selphina picked up the other infant and began feeding her.

Rose tried not to examine the child in her arms too closely and instead directed her attention to Selphina. “Are these all orphans from the war?”

“Yeah. New one arrives every day.” Selphina nodded at the baby in Rose’s arms. “Just got him in this morning. That little mite’s parents weren’t killed in the fighting though.”

“Oh?” Rose’s gaze dropped in surprise and her heart melted at the little pucker that had formed between his brows as he sucked heartily on the teet.

“Yeah. Sad story, not that they all don’t have sad stories.”

Rose nodded and waited quietly for a moment until her curiosity couldn’t take it anymore. “What happened to his parents? You said they weren’t killed by fighting.”

“Oh! Well, his father was a great scientist. Did so much for so many. He developed a lot of new vaccines and serums. Found ways to prevent crop decay. He is single handedly responsible for saving hundreds of thousands of our people. The only thing is...he was from another planet. I mean he looked enough like us, but still...off worlder.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t bother most people, but there are some that still look down on that sort of thing. No matter how much good he’d done for us.”

Rose touched the center of his palm with her finger and smiled as he grasped it firmly. She glanced up Selphina. “Did...were his parents killed for being outsiders?”

“No. His father was already an old man when he arrived here. But last year he met and fell in love with a young woman in the next town over. And she with him. Her parents were not agreeable to the marriage. Thought it was an embarrassment that their daughter would marry him, no matter how renowned he was. They disowned her. Not that the newlyweds cared. They were both so happy when she found out she was pregnant.” Selphina smiled and was lost to her memories. “I used to see them at the bakery my grandmother owned.” She shook her head. “To find a love like theirs...”

“So what happened?”

“Well, as I said Adric, that was the name of the baby’s father, Adric Traken… He was elderly. Died of natural causes due to his age. The one thing there’s no cure for. Never even got to meet his son.”

“Oh.” Rose covered her mouth. “Oh, that’s awful.”

Selphina nodded. “Yes, and the baby’s mother, Markeena, died in childbirth, just last night. Her family didn’t want anything to do with him and so they dropped him here, knowing we take in orphans.”

Rose lifted the boy to her shoulder and rubbed his back. “How could they not want him?” She closed her eyes and breathed in the powdery scent of the newborn. A bubbling desire to help this child began to build in her and she suddenly knew exactly why the TARDIS would land them 400 years away from their intended target and straight in the middle of another civil war.

Rose opened her eyes and looked Selphina straight in the eye. “I need to discuss it with my husband first, but I want to adopt him.”

The other woman gasped. “But...but you have your own children. You’d take on another? A stranger’s?”

Rose’s eyes narrowed on the other woman. “Of course. My youngest daughter is adopted.”

“And his mixed blood?”

“My husband and I aren’t the same species. We don’t care about things like that.”

Selphina’s eyes widened. “It’s best you don’t share that with anyone else here. Just in case.”

Rose gave a curt nod. She cradled the now sleeping infant in her arms and pressed a soft kiss to his crown. Her mind flashed back to doing the same thing with baby Melody shortly after her birth and a gush of overwhelming emotion threatened to drown her.

Rose focused on the gentle rise and fall of the baby’s chest to calm her own breathing. One thought that floated through her mind was how much she needed this - needed him - in their lives.

“Rose!” The Doctor looked around with a wild glint in his eye, until he found her.

“Doctor...”

He kneeled at her side and ran his hands along her spine. “You okay? I could feel-”

“Yeah.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

She sniffed back the tears and laughed. “No, I am. Really. I know why the TARDIS brought us here.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Him.”

The Doctor glanced down at the tiny bundle in her arms. “What?”

“We’re here for him.”

Brow furrowed, the Doctor glanced from his wife to the baby and back. “I don’t-”

“We need to help him. He’s all alone. Both his parents died. An’ was abandoned by his grandparents ‘cos they didn’t like that their daughter married an alien.” Rose’s eyes roamed the room until she caught sight of Melody. Also the product of the love of two different species, though with a very different outcome. A grin tugged at her lips. “I want to adopt him.” She met the startled eyes of her husband. “Please? Can we?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m so grateful about Melody, but...I was looking forward to having a baby again. And in the short time I’ve spent with him, my heart’s already started to heal.”

The Doctor hugged Rose closer and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Then there’s nothing to discuss.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I love you.”

“Quite right, too.”

Rose smiled through her tears. “Girls, come meet your new brother.”

--

The Doctor held the door open between their room and the nursery. Rose tossed a flirty grin over her shoulder as she passed through the doorway. The Doctor’s hearts expanded to see her smiling again.

At her gasp, he shook off his thoughts and rushed into the room. “What’s wrong?”

Rose turned in a slow circle, taking in all the changes the TARDIS had made. “The nursery’s completely different.”

The Doctor frowned in confusion as he looked around the room. “This is Nyssa’s old room.”

The bright white walls with the depressed roundels and the fern in the corner was unmistakable. And although the bed had been replaced with a cot, and the place where once was a table used for experiments now held a changing table, it was definitely Nyssa’s old room.

Rose placed the baby onto his back in the cot. “Nyssa? Who’s that?”

“What? Oh, hmm...she was a companion, once upon a time. Nyssa of Traken.” He smiled at the memories of the brave and intelligent young woman.

Rose paused. “Traken? Did you say Traken?”

The Doctor turned to face her. “Yeah. That was the name of her home planet.”

“But his father’s last name was Traken. Erm, Ad… Adr-”

The blood drained from the Doctor’s face. “Adric Traken?”

“Yes! That’s it. Adric Traken. How did-”

“Adric Traken was Nyssa’s son. I met him once, many years after Nyssa stopped traveling with me.”

“Oh, but don’t you see? I knew we were meant to find him. This just proves it.”

The Doctor couldn’t get words past the lump in his throat, so he simply nodded.

“And he still needs a name. Should we name him ‘Adric’ after his father?”

He closed his eyes. “That...yeah.”

“Doctor? What is it? What’s wrong? This is good, yeah?”

“Sorry. Yeah.” The Doctor took a deep breath. “It's just that Nyssa named her son after a boy that travelled with me...us. Died while in my care. He tried to save the Earth and I couldn’t save him.”

“Oh, Doctor, I'm so sorry. If it's too painful-”

“No. No, it's a fine name. A testament to Nyssa’s fondness for Adric and a worthy tribute for a very special young man.”

“So Adric Tyler?”

The Doctor walked up behind Rose and rested his chin on her shoulder as they looked at their newest child. “I think... Adric Tremas Tyler.”

“Tremas?”

“Nyssa’s father and a good friend.”

Rose spun and wrapped her arms around the Doctor's waist. “I love it. He’ll always have that part of his past with him.”

“And Tyler because he’s ours.”

Rose kissed her husband before turning and leaning against his chest while they both watched their son sleep.

--

The shrieks of children playing and a dog barking carried on the wind to where Rose and Jackie were seated. Rose rocked the pram where her 3-month old daughter, Sarah, lay sleeping, while Jackie kept her eyes on the rest of her grandchildren.

“Mum, relax. The Doctor’s got ‘em in hand.”

Jackie snorted. “He’s the one I’m worried will get in the most trouble.”

Rose’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh. “No hope there.”

“Now that Jenny of yours, on the other hand, has a good head on her shoulders.”

Jenny. Rose hadn’t expected to have a progenerated teenage daughter join her family, especially while 6-months pregnant, but that was the sort of life mad life she lived. And she wouldn’t change it for the world.

“She does, doesn’t she?” A small grin pulled at the corners of Rose’s lips. “Though all the girls do.”

Jackie snorted. “That’s ‘cos they all take after you.”

Her eyes roamed the park until they landed on the first daughter to come into her life - tall, thin, too smart for her own good - Melody. At twelve, she grew more and more like her father every day.

Rose groaned and Jackie snapped her gaze at her. “Wha’s wrong?”

“Was just thinkin,’ ‘m about to have two teenage daughters. Blimey, nothing like your kid’s birthday to make you feel old.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “Please, you’re not even 34, wait til you’re about to have two teenage grandchildren.”

“Stop it. Nobody’d ever guess you were fif-”

“Forty-seven.”

The Doctor plopped down on the bench between Jackie and Rose with Adric in his lap and gave his wife a peck on the cheek. “Forty-seven what?”

Jackie crossed her arms. “My age.”

The Doctor barked out a laugh before catching an elbow in the side from Rose, who glared at him and hissed, “Rude.”

“What? Why’s that rude? She’s fifty-three.”

“She’s tellin’ people she’s forty-seven.”

“I’m 915 and you don’t see me lying about it.”

“Yeah, but you look like your 35, don’t need to lie about your age. Do ya?”

“Vanity, thy name is Jac-”

“But you’re not 915, Daddy.” Adric played with this father’s tie.

Both women turned in surprise to the 4-year old.

The Doctor squeaked, “What?”

Jackie opened her arms to her grandson. “C’mere, Ricky.”

“It’s ‘Adric,’ Jackie.”

“I know that, but we’re out in public. I’m gonna call him something normal sounding. Now-”

“Mum…”

“Nana always calls me ‘Ricky’ ’cos I told her I liked it.”

“You did?”

“Yup.”

Jackie cuddled Adric closer and peppered kisses on his face until he giggled. “You’re my favorite grandson. Did you know that?

He rolled his eyes, but smiled brightly. “I'm your only grandson.”

“Still... Now what were you saying about your daddy’s age, sweetheart?”

“Melody said the TARDIS told her that Daddy is really 1468, but he didn’t want to scare Mummy off so he picked a round number under a thousand.”

The Doctor’s jaw fell open and the tips of his ears turned red. Jackie cackled and stood up. “Vanity, thy name is ‘Doctor.’ Come on, sweetheart, let’s go play on the swings.”

“Okay, Nan!” Adric took his grandmother’s hand and they walked off.

Rose cuddled into the Doctor’s side.

“Rose, I...”

She looked up at him through her lashes. “Is it true?”

He ran his hand across the back of his neck. “The truth? I haven’t a clue how old I am.” He sighed. “But if the Old Girl says 1468, it’s probably pretty close.”

Rose started giggling.

“What?”

She grinned at him with a hint of tongue peeking out the side of her smile. “It’s a Hell of an age gap.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and chuckled. “You’re mum’s never gonna let me live this down is she?”

Rose shook her head before laying it on his shoulder. “Nope.”

The Doctor looked out at the park. Jenny, their surprise daughter, was sitting on the lip of a fountain. Kicking her feet back and forth while she flirted with a poor boy who didn’t know what hit him. Takes after her mother, that one. Clara and their Barcelonian (the city not the planet) galgo chased a laughing Melody around a tree, even though the younger girl had no chance of catching her older sister, who’d inherited the Doctor’s propensity for running. Jackie chatted with a young mum whose daughter was swinging in time next to Adric. He glanced over at the final piece to the puzzle that made up their family - the sleeping infant in the pram at their side.

He kissed Rose’s crown. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[crystalninjaphoenix]

First Encounters of the Strange Kind

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

This is about how Jack knows everybody. Basically, it’s some backstory that needs to be resolved. I realize there’s not a lot of exciting parts, but not every story needs that. A lot of storytelling is just getting through moments that need to be there so the story can be understood, and the good parts can be even better. I hope that the story is enjoyable even without the excitement. Hopefully I can get to some of those parts again soon ^-^

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids​ @awkward-bullshit​ @watermelonsinmyattic​ @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske​ @odysseus-is-best-boi​ @acuriousquail @beerecordings

{Jack?} As always, Jack was startled by the voice that wasn’t really a voice. But when he poked his head out of the dining room where he was sitting alone, he didn’t see Jameson in the living room. Just as he was starting to get confused, the answer for the question he never asked came. {I’m in the basement. Can you come down here for a moment? I need another set of hands and you’re the only one home.} “Oh, yeah sure,” Jack said out loud. Of course there was no answer, Jameson told him he couldn’t read minds, only project.

He didn’t like the basement. Every time he stared down the side hall to the stairs at the end he got a crawly, wary feeling across his skin. The place creeped him out, which was why he never went down there. But this past week, he’d been sort of getting used to it. The feeling had been fading. So when he walked down the stairs, he only felt a little uneasy.

At the bottom of the stairs was a long hall with a couple doors to either side, and one at the end. The first one on the left was ajar, so Jack leaned over and peeked inside. He stopped in the doorway and gaped at an entire library, with a sitting area of armchairs, two desks, and a whole lotta bookshelves. Jameson was standing on one of those rolling ladders attached to a bookshelf.

“Jesus fuck,” Jack muttered.

Jameson looked over with a frown. {Language, master McLoughlin.}

“Uh, sorry. But why didn’t anyone tell me this was down here? It’s a pretty big secret to hide!”

{Marvin told you about it, remember? What did you think he did down here all day?}

“He did?” Jack cursed his poor memory. “Shi—shoot, man, I’m sorry. And I guess I always sorta assumed he was doing his magic stuff down here, but I didn’t think there was, you know, an entire library.”

{Technically, it wasn’t so much a library as a room full of books before I joined your cohort. Marvin has some style and reasonable standards, but no organization.}

“I see, I see,” Jack nodded. “So, uh, what was it you needed me for?”

{Ah yes. Come on in, don’t be shy.} Jameson made a vague sort of gesture to the area around him, indicating Jack should walk over to him, which he did. {I’m planning on taking quite a few of these books upstairs, and I need your help carrying them.}

“Oh. Okay.” Jack was puzzled as to why Jameson was taking the books upstairs, but it wasn’t his business to ask...was it? “Uh...what for? Sorry.”

Jameson gave Jack an odd look, almost like worry. {A friend is coming over to borrow some, but she’s not quite sure which ones she wants. So she gave me a list of items to look for. This library is a rather private place, and Marvin doesn’t want her down here.} Jack opened his mouth to ask another question. {You understand, right? You understand the reasoning. That’s all you need, right?}

Jack blinked spirals out of his vision. “Yeah, I understand. What did you want me to carry?”

{Here, take these.} Jameson pulled a few books off the shelves and piled them into Jack’s waiting arms. {And you might as well take this, too. Chain keeps getting caught. Keep a careful eye on it.} He placed his silver pocket watch on top of the books.

“Keep an eye on it? You mean watch it? Okay.” Jack laughed at his own joke and looked down at the watch. It was very well-made, and it glinted beautifully in the light from the lamps. It was emitting a ticking sound, but the sound wasn’t as long as a second. Nor did the ticks match the movement of the second hand. It just kept ticking steadily...tick...tick...tick...tick...

He didn’t register the thumps when his arms went limp and the books crashed to the floor. He didn’t notice when Jameson grabbed the watch chain just in time to keep it from falling too. He just kept staring...listening...the watch was swaying...swaying...silver on a sea of purple...he couldn’t look away...why would he want to?...

{Do you remember how we met, Jack?}

“Hey, Jack.”

Jack looked up from his cup of coffee. “Oh, hey Marv,” he yawned. “How’re’ya?”

“Pretty good,” Marvin said from where he was leaning in the dining room doorway. “Hey, I want you to meet someone.”

“Really? Who—” Jack blinked. The newcomer looked exactly like him (and all the rest of them, honestly) but with a mustache and a snazzy outfit. He waved at Jack, beaming.

“This is Jameson,” Marvin explained. “James, this is Jack. Jameson is a friend of mine from work, and since he recently lost his house I offered to let him stay with us. We needed more rent help, anyway.”

{It’s so good to meet you! Marvin’s told me all about you.}

“What the fuck?!” Jack nearly knocked over his coffee mug in shock.

“Oh, ah, Jameson’s mute,” Marvin winced, awkward. “But it’s okay, ‘cause he taught himself telepathy. So…you should get used to that.”

“Oh. Okay. I get it. Yeah.” Jack laughed nervously. “Your work is magic, so there’s some-some magic involved here. Okay.”

“I’m goin’ downstairs to the library now.” Marvin turned around. “I’ll let you two get to know each other.”

{We had a nice, pleasant chat. Remember that? Yes, I see you nodding. The details escape you, but that’s okay. It’s to be expected with your memory problems. We warmed up to each other immediately. That’s all that matters. What about Marvin? How did you meet him?}

“You have another new roommate?” Jack raised his eyebrow. “Aren’t two enough?”

“Yes, well, unfortunately the house is undergoing...ah, I do not remember the word.” Schneep set his drink down with one hand and snapped the fingers on the other. “The—where your living space is getting fixed up. Not repairs, but there is another R to start...”

Jack’s brows furrowed. “Renovations?”

“That’s the one!” Schneep pointed at him triumphantly. “Also, Jackie has lost his job, and there is less money. We will need more rent anyway.”

“And...you want me to meet this new roommate. So we’re going out for drinks. Not, like, alcohol or anything. Like soda.” Jack shook his cup, rattling the ice. “And at night.”

Schneep made an unusual huffing sound. “It was not my idea. But I do not mind so much, I think. This place is empty at night, and that is...a good thing in this case.”

Jack’s question died on his tongue when the door to the restaurant opened and a strange man walked in. He was wearing a black cape, and a black mask shaped like a cat with the card suits on its forehead. His blue-green eyes locked on the table where Jack and Schneep were sitting, and he grabbed a chair from another table, dragging it over to them. He sat down, arms folded on the table, staring at. “You must be Jack,” he said coolly. “I’m Marvin.”

“O-oh. Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Something about this guy was putting Jack on edge. It was like an electric sort of feeling, something similar to what he felt around {/ / / /}. But more...hostile. The edges of scars peeking out from under the mask did not help this impression at all.

“Yeah, same. Did you guys already order?”

“Yes, yes we did. It is serve-yourself here.” Schneep pointed over to the machines. “After you buy, of course.”

“Fuck. Fine, I guess I’ll be right back.” Marvin grumbled, standing up. With an over-dramatic swish of the cape, he stalked away.

Jack stared after him, then slowly turned to Schneep. “What’s the deal with him?”

Schneep took a sip of his drink through the straw. “You mean the mask and cape? He is a magician of some sort, and he likes the attention, I think. I have not seen him take those off yet.”

“...ah.” Jack turned his attention to the counter where Marvin was ordering. Or, uh, actually it looked like he was snapping at the serving girl, who looked kind of scared. After a while there was an exchange of money, then Marvin walked back over to the table, landing in the chair once more. “You forgot your drink,” Jack said tentatively.

Marvin glared at him, then snapped his fingers. A cup appeared in front of him in a puff of lavender smoke. “That drink, you mean?”

Jack gaped. He’d seen {/ / / /} summon objects before, but that was different. {/ /} wasn’t {/ / / / /}, and Marvin clearly was. “S-so...Henrik said you were a magician, but I was picturing, like, card tricks.”

“Tried those. Sucked at them. But they helped me realize my true potential, so I’m glad I took them up.”

A few moments of silence passed. Jack kept watching Marvin, who was still making him a bit...mildly freaked out. “And, uh, how did you meet the other guys?” he finally asked.

Marvin snorted. “Went to a party. That gun-toting idiot was causing a scene there. Caught my attention. That’s the gist of it.”

Jack stared at him. “What gun-toting idiot?”

{That didn’t happen. No, no, listen to me, your memory is fading again, friend. There was nothing said about a gun, he just mentioned Chase. There was no awkward conversation afterward. Marvin seemed angry and antisocial, I’ll give you that. But he didn’t scare the serving girl, you were just projecting your own uneasiness. See, let’s go over it again...yes, you know I’m right. Now, let’s talk about the doctor. Do you recall your first encounter?}

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited someone else over,” Jackie said.

Jack looked up from where he was busy setting up the Xbox. {/ / / /} was also helping; the console had a {/ / / / / /} recently and needed to be fixed. But Jackie, of course, didn’t know about {/ / / /}. “The way you say that makes me think it’s not Chase,” Jack replied.

“Uh...no...” Jackie smiled nervously. “But I think you’ll like him. His name’s Henrik, he’s the one who helped me out after I got injured on the job.”

“Oh yeah. That, uh, clinic doctor, right? Still think you should’ve gone to the hospital.”

“They don’t offer health insurance, I couldn’t afford a visit there.”

“That’s ridiculous. What are we, in America?”

Before Jackie could laugh or sigh in disappointment, there was a knock at the apartment door. Jackie sprang to action, jumping off the couch. “I got it,” he said, crossing the room and pulling open the door.

“Hello!” A cheerful man in a blue sweater and glasses entered the room. “You must be the Jack that Jackie has told me about? You are very nice to meet!”

Jack stared. This was the fourth person he’d ever met who looked weirdly like him, though he wasn’t sure {/ / / /} counted, so technically he was the third. Then he realized he was letting the pause stretch uncomfortable long, so he smiled warmly. “Yeah, man, it’s nice to meet you too.” He took the hand Henrik was offering and shook it. “You’re Henrik, right?”

“Indeed, I am the doctor Henrik von Schneeplestein, though if you wish you can call me Schneep, some of my friends do.” Schneep was smiling pretty wide, clearly excited. He also smelled of a strong cologne...though Jack could’ve sworn there was an undercurrent of something fouler.

“Well, then that’s what I’ll do. A friend of Jackie’s is a friend of mine.” Jack let go of Schneep’s hand—or more like he extracted it from his grip—and gestured toward the Xbox. “We were just setting up. You hungry or anything? I can get snacks.”

“No, no, I am fine.” Schneep seemed too full of energy to stand still, constantly bouncing on his feet and tugging on the edge of his sleeves. “Unless you have any coffee, then I would enjoy some.”

Having just noted the excitable energy the doctor was giving off, Jack laughed a little. “You, uh, you sure that’s a good idea? You seem kind of hyper.”

“Nonsense, I am perfectly okay!”

Jackie cut in. “Hey Jack, I advise you to not give him coffee in this mood. Unless you want him to break your controller by pushing the buttons too hard.”

“That was one time I broke your remote and it was one button only!”

“Hmmm, yeah, I’ll not take a chance. Anyway, lemme finish this up real quick.” Jack turned his attention back to the Xbox. The ring was blinking rapidly, probably a sign of {/ / / /} being annoyed. He swatted at the box to remind {/ / /} that they needed to fix it and not worry about the new guy. While he worked, Jack decided to make conversation. “So, you’re a doctor, huh?”

“That is correct! I am the best doctor, the best in the business!”

“Nice confidence. Why’d you choose that career? Doesn’t it take, like, a shit ton of work?”

“Oh, yes it did. But I think it was worth it.” Schneep finally settled down on the couch, though his legs continued to bounce restlessly. “I am very curious man, I always have been, I know this. And so I thought, what is there to learn more about than ourselves? Nothing, nothing! There are so many things that we cannot cure yet, so many we can treat but not eliminate! But there is nothing we cannot do if we are willing to take the needed steps and I think that is great value of humanity. I am perhaps a bit more willing than some of my colleagues back home were, ha! I will show them here. I think being the world’s best doctor is also something I just enjoy to do, you understand? Not only to know we are helping people, but also the process of the doing itself.”

“If you say so, man. Personally, I don’t think I could do all the surgeries and stuff like that.” Jack powered on the console. “Hey, I think I fixed it.”

Schneep tilted his head curiously. “I think the surgeries are my favorite part, you see—”

“Great, now that it’s fixed we can finally get started.” Jackie seemed to be in a hurry to interrupt. “Jack, toss me that controller.”

{Your memory is quite good on this occasion. But I think you’re misremembering the smell of the doctor’s cologne. There was nothing foul there at all. And Jackie was not in a hurry to interrupt, merely eager. Speaking of him, I’m sure you can tell me about your first meeting.}

“Chase, I swear to god, if you keep doing this you’re going to die before you turn thirty.” Jack’s patience was starting to fray. “And what about Stacy and the kids? What do they think of this?”

“Th’ kids don’ think anything, they’re one ‘n’ three.” Chase’s eyes were a bit fogged over. He was leaning heavily on Jack as they sat on a bench in the city park. “An’ Stacy’sss fine, it’s fine. She knows I l’ve her.”

“Right, well,” Jack said skeptically. “Be that as it may, I don’t think she’ll be happy to have you show up drunk on her doorstep. And I’m sure as hell not taking you to my place.”

“Wh’not?”

Because {/ / / /} would throw another hissy fit. “Because it’s fucking far, man. I’m not paying for an hour in a cab with your drunk ass when you probably have friends in the city. Also I have an exam tomorrow.”

“Jus’ drop ou’, ‘s easier.” Chase burrowed his face in Jack’s jacket. “I turned ou’ fine.”

“Hmm, that’s debatable.” Early twenties, already married with two kids and an alcohol problem. Jack had offered to sign Chase up for multiple help programs, but he always refused. Maybe he should do it anyway. “Anyway, you have friends in the city, right?”

Chase seemed to think for a minute, then pulled out his phone and slapped it in Jack’s hand. “Call the one lab’led Discoun�� Spider-Man,” he mumbled.

Jack had to snirk a little bit at the name. He dialed the number from the contacts, and the other side picked up on the first ring. “Hi, we’ve never met, but my friend Chase told me to call you...”

Ten minutes later, a young man in a red hoodie pulled up in an old car, slamming the door shut when he got out. He spotted the two on the bench easily, marching straight over. When he got there, Jack and him just stared at each other for a while. Then the other guy broke the silence by saying, “Were the three of us clones this whole time and never knew?”

Jack laughed. “Nah, I don’t think so. I’m Jack, what about you?”

The other man gasped. “My name’s Jackie.”

“Whoa, wait really? Are you me?”

“Yes, I’m you from a parallel universe.”

“Hi Jackie!” Chase piped up. “I’m...ffffffine.”

Jackie looked him over. “No, you’re not. C’mon dude, I’m gonna get you to a bed as soon as possible.” Jack stood up and passed Chase over to Jackie, who draped his arm over his shoulder. “Hey, doppelganger, want to come with? I can give you a ride anywhere in the city.”

“Too bad I live outside it then,” Jack remarked wryly. “But I want to make sure Chase is alright, so I’ll just ride with you for a while if you don’t mind.”

The car ride passed quickly, with the two ‘Jacks’ in front and Chase in the back. “So, how does Chase know you?” Jack asked. “He’s never mentioned you before this, and I don’t remember seeing you on campus.”

“Yeah, I graduated early,” Jackie explained. “I’m tryin’ to become a cop as soon as possible, so I pushed myself pretty hard. Kinda...fucking sucked.”

“Yikes.” Jack winced.

“Yeah, don’t take more than like five classes per semester. Maybe six if they’re small. Anyway, I may have ran into Chase...while training.”

“Uh...did he get arrested and never tell me?”

“No, but he got pretty damn close. I covered for him because he just...seems to be making mistakes, he’s not bad. And he gave me my phone number, and we started talking, and now apparently he has me saved in his contacts under ‘Discount Spider-Man.’”

Jack chuckled. “I think I’m under ‘Mr. Septic Guy,’ so you’re lucky.”

Jackie gave him a weird look. “There has got to be a story there.”

“Maybe I’ll tell it to you someday.”

{Jackie’s always been friendly, hasn’t he? So determined to rid the city of crime and evil. You’ve gotten these details pretty much accurate. But we still have some way to go. When did you first meet Chase?}

“So, you’re my new roomie, huh? Well, come in, no use standing in the hall...way...” the other guy trailed off the moment he looked away from the poster he was holding and up at Jack.

Jack couldn’t say anything either. The resemblance was uncanny. “...Hi,” he said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Jack.”

His new roommate took his hand and shook it. “Chase. Why don’t you...uh...y’know.” He stood to the side of the door so Jack could walk past. “I’m still decorating my side of the room.”

“Hmm. It’s a bit smaller than what I’m used to,” Jack said, scanning the dorm room. “But I only have to share it with one other person, so that’s a plus.”

“Siblings?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah, dude.” Chase took a length of tape and stuck the poster he was holding up on the wall. “You from close by? Your accent sounds local.”

“Yeah, I live just an hour away, but I wanted to try living somewhere else, at least for my first year. You American?” Jack sat on the edge of the bed. The one on the half of the room Chase hadn’t already claimed.

“My dad is. Mom, not so much. Spent a lot of time in my childhood flipping back and forth between countries.” Chase sat cross-legged on his own. “So. Now here’s the important question. What’re you here for?”

“What?”

“Like, college. What’re you here for?”

“Um...” Jack wasn’t sure he understood the question. “Because I have to have a degree to get a job?”

“Valid point, fair,” Chase shrugged. “But, is there anything else?”

Jack thought about it. “I guess I want to make friends.”

“Dude, same! That and, maybe, meet some girls. But friends are priorities. I’ve left basically everyone behind at this point. Starting a new posse. But you’re from around here, I bet you still can keep in touch with yours.”

The lights overhead flickered. Jack looked up at them. “I’ve only ever really had one friend. But yeah, we keep in contact.”

{I’m so sorry, but that last part is very wrong. You got it all wrong. Jack, trust me on this, I know things about memories that you don’t. And I’m your friend, aren’t I? I can see you’re being difficult. So, in order for us to fix this, I need to see the beginning. Show me how you met him.}

He couldn’t remember how old he was. Thirteen or fourteen, maybe? All his life, his family lived in the same cabin in the woods, the one his parents would later give to him. There was a rule about living there. You weren’t supposed to go into the woods after dark. Naturally, just starting to go through his rebellious phase, this was a rule he broke.

He kicked a rock into the nearest tree trunk. He had to be honest, this was boring. Aside from the secret thrill of knowing he was getting away with something, there wasn’t much to do. He’d already climbed all the climbable trees in the area. Maybe there were more things further in. So he set off, the evening light growing dimmer through the trees.

He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something moved. He froze for a moment, then looked toward it. He saw a shadow retreat across the ground. For a moment, in the dark with just a flashlight and no weapon, he was scared. Maybe there was a good reason he wasn’t supposed to go into the woods. Maybe there were big, hungry animals there. Like wolves. Or bears.

Well, he wouldn’t know unless he saw them. So, like an idiot, he set off in the direction the shadow had vanished. But then something moved to his left. Then behind him. Then his right. Something was circling him. He twirled around, trying to capture it in the yellow cone of his flashlight beam. Until he turned around, and there was a thing there.

He remembered screaming and trying to step backwards, ending up tripping over a branch and falling flat on his back. He hadn’t caught a good look at it between the moment it was in the light and the moment his wild flailing sent the flashlight flying. It looked vaguely human, but...almost made out of shadow. Shadow and a bit of green. It hadn’t looked entirely there. Like how if you were leaning on the edge of a riverbank with your legs in the river, you weren’t quite in the water, but you weren’t quite on the land. The visual version of being only half real.

Jack had scrambled back, feeling with his hands desperately for the flashlight, until finally his fingers brushed it. He turned it back on in a hurry, expecting to see either a nightmare or nothing, and was surprised to see...a someone. Offering a hand.

“A͢r͏e ͏you ͝hu͝rt̷?̀” A broken, half-there voice.

The someone looked...like him. Brown haired, blue eyed, naturally pale. It was even wearing darker versions of his clothes. An eye-patch hid its right eye from view.

Jack stared up at it. “N-no.”

“Yo͠u can gr͡ab͝ ͟t̸ḩe h͏and,̸ ̢it̛ w͏o͡n’t ̡ḩurt̀ ͠yoų if̷ ̷I di̕d t̴his͞ ̢şolįd t̡hi̕ng͢ righ͟t̶. ͢It͏'s͡ ̸been͞ ̨a̢ whil̸e.̨”

Jack hesitated for a moment later, then grabbed the hand and let the someone pull him to his feet.

“Yoú fell. Di̷d ͝I s͞care y͢ou?” The tone of voice was bland, expressionless. The face was mildly curious.

“I mean, if that shadow thing was you, then yeah, you scared the shit outta me dude!”

“I ̛di̕dņ't m̴ean̨ to͟.”

There was a silence. Then Jack said, “Cool, apology accepted. Why do you look like me?”

The someone shrugged. “You͏'re ̷t̡he̶ first o͞ne t͞o̶ ̡f͢in̡d m̨e i̕n ̸a̴ lo͡n̨g t̨i͢me.͠ ̴I need͟ed t͢ó.”

Jack scanned the someone up and down. It was a perfect copy. “What...are you? Are you a shapeshifter? Are there more of you in the woods?”

“ No͝, I'͠m͏ ̧n̸o͏t ͡a s̛hapesh͝if̨teŕ,” the someone said. “A̷nd̸.̴..͠there's ͟n̕o͡ ̧o̵né ̵els͏e ́her͞e. C̵e̡rt͝ainly̴ no on̛e̶ l̀ìk͠e͠ ̕me͏.”

Jack felt his heart sink at that. This someone had been out here, all alone, for who knows how long. He must be incredibly lonely. “I’m...sorry about that,” Jack said. “You don’t...have to stay in the woods if you don’t have to. I mean, my family’s back at the cabin and they could see you easily, but you can come.”

The someone blinked for the first time, mouth opening a little. “Su͡re̶,” he said, surprise entering his voice.

“I’m Jack. What’s your name?”

“I’m {/ / / / / / / / / / / / /}.”

{This is where you’re wrong, Jack. You know this is false. We’ve told you the truth many times. You remember the truth, don’t you? This creature is a monster. He tried to kill you, and now he’s trying to turn you by planting false memories. He doesn’t need a reason. He’s chaos. Do I need to tell you everything he’s done once again? I do? Then calm down, Jack, and listen. Listen. Listen.}

Jack woke up on the sofa in the living room. God, he’d promised he’d only lay down for one minute, and then he completely fell asleep. That sucked. He sat up and stretched.

A bonking sound came from the corner of the living room. Jack looked over to see Sam ramming into the glass of the tank, iris wide and full of concern. He stood up and walked over to them. “Hey, bud. What’s wrong?”

Sam wanted to know if Jack was okay.

“Course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Sam wondered if Jack was certain.

“Yeah. I just fell asleep for a moment. Everything is fine.”

Sam wasn’t so sure. Sam thinks Jack needs help.

“Help with what?”

Sam didn’t say anything for a while. Then they pushed it away. Never mind. Jack was right, he’s fine.

“Atta-eye! You want to get out for a while?”

Sam did not.

“Alright, if you’re sure. I’m gonna go back upstairs now. If I fell asleep, maybe it’s time for bed.

After Jack had gone upstairs, Sam sank to the bottom of the tank and curled up. They knew. And they wanted to help him, He was their family. But at the same time, things were getting dangerous here. The doctor and the magician were giving them increasingly weird looks. They decided they’d give it another week. If they couldn’t reach Jack by then...they’d need to call for help.

[lucky-katebishop]

Top 10 Failed/Doomed Ships

Hello! So I watch a lot of TV and something that pops up a lot are relationships that the public has been rooting for, but for some reason or another, the writers and show-runner feel like it would be the best to end that relationship. This is a list of my personal top 10 failed relationships that were once canon. 

Note: This is my opinion and only my opinion, I do not speak for the general public or anybody besides myself. Also none of these pictures are mine, I got them off Google Images. 

Spoilers for: Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, Daredevil, The Defenders, Skins (UK), That 70′s Show, Please Like Me, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Lucifer, How I Met Your Mother, and Doctor Who

10. Josh and Arnold (Please Like Me)

Josh and Arnold was so soft. They were so so soft and when they broke up in season three, it was weird because it not only felt like a crushing disappointment but also a relief. They had been fighting and had recently decided to have an open relationship where Josh had found another man, and it was weird because (it may have only been me) I rooted for Josh and that other man. Their breakup felt so realistic because it felt almost impulsive, the way they screamed at each other during the camping site. Josh ended up getting back together with his season one boyfriend and it didn’t feel right to me. But I have always praised this show on how realistic it feels and Josh and Arnold’s breakup depicted how sometimes in life shit happens and it’s just not the right time for two people to be together. Which really sucks because they were like so great together, but the reason this is so low on the list is because of that realistic feeling. It just unfortunately was not their time to be together anymore.

9. Matt and Elektra (Daredevil)

Matt’s life has always been so private, even to the audience, so when we were given the gift of a series of flashbacks of a baby faced Matt in college and his super elegant, dangerous girlfriend, Elektra, I instantly fell in love with them. They are the epitome of the good guy/bad guy relationship and it’s amazing! I love their dynamic, especially when she comes back and Matt is faced with his moral dilemma of trying to stop her, or join her and it’s so unbelievably hot. Their relationship is so hot. What’s worse is that Matt was so heartbroken during the entirety of The Defenders, trying to find her that he was almost unable to focus on anything else. The way he would risk is life for her, even when she didn’t even recognize him just speaks volumes about their relationship. I understand why she had to die, it just sucks because I would’ve liked to see more Matt/Elektra fighting villains and just being super sexy morally gray vigilantes. 

8. Lane and Dave (Gilmore Girls)

Okay, you’re probably going, “Why is this above Matt/Elektra? You’re crazy!” Listen. Every single time I watch Gilmore Girls I am infuriated about how Lane and Dave broke up. I understand that the actor who played Dave had to leave to star on The O.C. but Lane and Dave were just so cute and adorable! He read the whole freaking bible in a single night to persuade Mrs. Kim to let him take Lane to the prom! They understood each other, and he supported her with their music, her mom, and her life. Dave enjoyed playing music for Mrs. Kim for pretty much an entire day just so he could be near Lane. He never made her feel bad for the things she liked, and he was just so so gentle. I always rewatch the scene where Dave is jealous about how Lane is going on a date that her mom set up for her and he ran all the way to her school just so he could say, “Hi. Just checking in.” I will never forget jealous Dave! So cute, just so cute. Lane and Dave breaking up is something I will never forgive Amy Sherman Palladino because it was the catalyst for Lane’s shitty life. Lane married really young, she had kids (and she didn’t even enjoy the sex, mind you) and then didn’t even end up being a rock star like she wanted! I know she was supposed to mirror Lorelai, but Palladino could’ve done Lane better. Instead she did her dirty. 

7. Joel and Midge (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

I don’t believe Midge and Joel are a failed relationship in the way that you might think. It’s the reason why they are going to keep going back to another is the reason why they are a failed relationship. Lenny Bruce sang it himself in the season two finale. Midge and Joel are meant to be together in the most fucked up way possible. Always going back and forth between getting back together and being apart. They will always love each other in the most comfortable and frustrating way possible. Sabotaging their future relationships. I do not believe they belong together. I do not believe Midge has to settle for him and I don’t believe Joel has to settle for her. She has changed, he can see that and he doesn’t like it. She inspires Joel to be better but that doesn’t mean they belong together. Amy Sherman Palladino has a vision and it frustrates me but I understand this is the way things are supposed to be. So we as the audience has to settle for their relationship just like they have to settle for each other. It’s brilliant in it’s own fucked up way. 

6. Barney and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

I am not over this. I am still not over this. Hey, guess what, I am not over this! Man, the series finale did us dirty. For an entire season to be revolved around the love between Barney and Robin only for the last fifteen minutes to rip our security and comfort out from under us is diabolical. Barney and Robin went through a lot. Their character development was beautiful but the writers had a vision and just straight up ruined them. Barney and Robin knew each other so well and they had so much fun together vs Robin and Ted who Ted just expected so much out of Robin and tried to make her into something that she wasn’t. Robin and Barney were a badass couple who shared their vulnerabilities and insecurities because they felt safe in their relationship which is why it’s a damn shame that they had to get divorced in the last few minutes of the series finale. 

5. Rich and Grace (Skins UK)

Generation 3 could’ve been better, I know, but it got progressively worse when Grace died. Why they had to kill off the most beautiful, adorable, sweetest character in Skins history I don’t really know, but damn them. Grace and Rich were the epitome of the dark, angsty character dates the light, bubbly character. He was a metalhead and she was a ballerina and if that’s not cute then you don’t know what you’re talking about. Their relationship has always reminded me of a Shakespeare tragedy, where two unlikely characters meet, fall in love, are torn apart by their families, they run away to get married, and the one of them di- oh okay, so yeah, they’re Romeo and Juliet. Alright. I never made that connection until just now. Well it fits because they are fucking cute and romantic as hell. Just thinking about them rips my heart out because I really didn’t like generation three, but I really did like them. I am angry and betrayed that I never got a relationship like this in high school (I mean granted I didn’t have a relationship in high school so...)

4. Chloe and Lucifer (Lucifer)

Just look at them in this picture! So soft! I love them for so many reasons. She makes him human, most of all. Who would’ve thought Satan himself would feel vulnerable around a human being? This is better mythology than Hades and Persephone. Just, god, they are the high strung detective/ morally gray childish detective dynamic and it works so well. I put them on the doomed relationship list because well, they were canon for an episode and then just kind of stopped. They’re kind of like New Girl with Nick and Jess because you know they are going to happen eventually, you just don’t know when. I just hope that the show does better when Lucifer and Chloe get together vs when Nick and Jess got together because season three was a mess. The most amazing thing is that they both bring out vulnerabilities with each other. Chloe lets down her walls when she’s around him and he becomes more human. It’s so cute. They’re partners and they trust each other and damn, did I mention that she makes him human? Because that is truly insane. I can’t wait to see what they do with season 4. I know it’s going to take a really long time for them to get together and that makes me want to rip my hair out but we’re going with it. The reason why this is so high on the list is because they had everything going for them in season two but Lucifer had to be himself, of course and it just fucked everything up.

3. Hyde and Jackie (That 70′s Show)

Still bitter. Still angry. Still annoyed. I mean, come on, Fez? Really? Out of everyone Jackie could’ve end up with, she ended up with Fez? Are you actually serious? Hyde and Jackie were such a surprising couple but it makes so much sense. Their relationship, to me, mirrored Kitty and Red a lot and I’m really mad they broke up. I am not even going to talk about the last season except I think it’s universally agreed upon every That 70′s Show fan that it should not have existed and it’s incredibly stupid (and out of character). Hyde and Jackie evolved together, and they cared for each other, and they made each other better people. They just matched so well and it got all screwed up. 

2. The Doctor and River (Doctor Who)

They were so perfect because of so many reasons it makes me so sad they broke up. But the worse thing is that I know why they had to break up, I get that, and I accept it. But damn we really should’ve gotten more scenes of them just being domestic. They were so perfect! And River’s storyline is just beyond genius, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they had planned this storyline in season 4, my god. They were both so playful and fun, I like to believe they’re the more bubbly version of Matt/Elektra. The Doctor cared so much for River and I think it sucks so much that we didn’t get to see as much cuteness as I would have liked. They had like two kisses, three kisses tops and I find that sad because their chemistry is so amazing. Sorry my reasons are getting progressively worse, I am tired. 

Honorable Mentions: June/Happiness (The Handmaid’s Tale), Sammy/Abigail (Dance Academy), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin), Sara/Chuck (Chuck), Tracey/Connor (Chewing Gum), Evie/Dylan (Lovesick), Maddie/Josh (Liv and Maddie)

1. Dan and Blair (Gossip Girl)

Listen. I don’t care what you say, they belong together. Dan and Blair is a couple you wouldn’t think would work but they fit so well together. They’re both from completely different backgrounds but it doesn’t matter because they have each other. Dan understands Blair in a way Chuck never could. Dan loves who Blair is not in spite of her flaws but because of them. Blair and Dan are able to say those three words that Blair and Chuck had so much trouble saying: I love you. Honestly, Blair and Chuck were never able to say I love you to each other! (well they did but not as easily.) It says something, huh? Dan was there for Blair when Chuck wasn’t, he loved her when no one else would, and he saw the value in Blair. They brought each other up and were so soft. They had problems like any couple but they communicated with each other like a healthy couple does in order to grow from their mistakes. They really did love each other and were the healthiest couples in the entire show (besides Cyrus and Eleanor). I will forever be bitter. 

I hope you enjoyed my list! Sorry if you didn’t agree with me, leave who you think belongs on this list in the comments. I’ve made a couple lists similar to this, so here’s the link: Masterlist

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: May 21-25, 2019 + Thoughts on Upcoming Books

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 15:

The greenhouse is so pretty that I can stare at it for minutes and not get bored. Oh, how I wish I have a place like that. Anyway, I spent diamonds on the terrarium because I'm curious about it and wonder how it will be used in the next book. Pity I couldn't spend time with Skye as a result, though it's not like I have enough diamonds either way. Anyway, let's see how the tour to Europe in Book 3 will turn out. As long as it doesn't involve disrespecting the local culture, though. Man, I'm so glad this book is done. The student election drama is so darn boring, with a weak progression in the storyline. If it wasn't for Skye, I would've lost my cool. She's the only saving grace of the story, and I'm glad I get to be official with her. Wishful Thinking Chapter 7:

I don't care much about the power outage thing, though I'm glad Jaime came to help things out. What frustrates me is the premium option to spend time with a minor character with a recycled model, so hard pass, Tony. Can I punch Alec now? He's being nothing but unreasonable, only getting MC's ideas when there's something in it for him? His behavior towards Jaime is just... ugh. As for Ellen, I need a heart-to-heart talk with her and call her out on her pride as well as reprimanding her for sabotage and theft. Note to self: buy that premium option to follow her. A Courtesan of Rome Chapter 18:

Man, it's been so long since I last played ACoR! I never thought I missed it. I know the middle chapters are weak because of their emphasis on romance over espionage, but I still had fond memories of how badass the MC and her family are. Anyway, let's get to it, shall we? I literally agonized over the choice to free Victus or Syphax, especially since I like them both, and Syphax is my MC's love interest. I really wanted Victus to reunite with the rest of his family, but because I also roleplay my MC, I wonder what she would do in that situation. For now, I picked Syphax, and Victus said that she and Syphax are the future of the tribe, which shook me speechless. I feel like Victus is willing to make way for the future generation. Finally Cingerix shows up, albeit as a legionary. I understand his frustrations at his situation, but time can't be turned back. I cringed at the options to be harsh towards him when playing as Delphinia. Threesome with Caesar and Cleopatra? Sounds interesting, if only I have the diamonds. I'm not surprised the MC didn't kill Caesar with poison, because he died by stabbing. What's interesting is how she'll deal with meeting her brother again. Nightbound Chapter 6:

Once again, I'm at the mercy of idiots, or more specifically werewolves who refuse to see reason. If it wasn't for Katherine, Nik, and Cal saving MC's ass, they would've been dead. About time Vera shows up, and I should've known that she's taking care of Kristin at the hospital. Seriously, I respect her for that. Here's hoping she shows up more. Speaking of showing up more, that should also apply to Krom, Garrus, and Ivy. My ever-supportive pit crew needs more love than the story provides. I need to tag them along with MC throughout their misadventures, badly. Is it just me, or does this story have a slow pacing? I wonder when the next monster tear will appear. Passport to Romance Chapter 11:

Not much I could say in this chapter because there's not much going on in the airport. The outfit's tacky, Ahmed's suggestion to have a trolley race is stupid, and I couldn't afford to invite Sumire to the lounge. Honestly, Elliot never ceases to annoy me. His family owns an airline, and he waited until the next day to use it to provide his friends a flight on a private plane? What is wrong with this guy? Can he just set his grudge against his brother aside? And what does Elliot even do for a living aside from mooching off his brother? Open Heart Chapter 15:

Seeing Aurora and hearing about her struggles of being the Chief of Medicine's daughter makes me want to give her a hug. She needs to cry the stress out of her. It's definitely bad that she had to put up with sycophants like the ones seen earlier in the story, and I'm glad I finally get to comfort her. At the same time, I'm sick of being forced to hate her for most of the time. Sure her aloof behavior isn't helping matters, but the MC should also get off their high horse. She Nevertheless, her story is far from done, and I want to see what decisions she'll make. Not to mention that I'm willing to give her the chance to be nice to her fellow interns, not just towards patients. Every time I see a choice to act mean to Aurora, I cringe. Getting the help of the senior physicians was fine, though I hated the outfit, so I didn't bother buying it. Since the physicians have a neutral opinion on the MC, it makes sense to encourage them to testify without any bias. As much as I respect Ethan for his skills, he's too biased in favor of the MC, especially since mine just hooked up with him. On MC's little talk with Landry as he moved out, the part where Landry said the competition's going to come down to him and the MC annoyed me. He didn't regret sabotaging the MC, but justified the reason he did it in the name of competition instead. Jackie nailed it in the previous chapter, when she said she wanted to reach the top spot fair and square. It's one thing to stay in the competition. It's another to sabotage another competitor and put patients at risk of misdiagnoses in the process, all because of a petty desire to suck up to Ethan. Even if it wasn't his goal to do the latter, it shows horrible judgement on his part that deserves to be censured. I won't forgive him for this, especially when the narrative wants us to forget about it. Bloodbound Chapter 2:

Scholar Jameson really creeps me out when he talked about the MC being a Bloodkeeper, which sounds like he and Gaius are using her to free the First Vampire and usher in an era where vampires will enslave humans. Ugh... At least the new lore stuff got me hooked, even when I failed to get Gaius to reveal my plans. I'll replay this chapter someday. Great, the portrait fragment system is back, and this time it focuses on Rheya. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the First Vampire. If so, that's kinda underwhelming. I expected the figure to be super old, but Rheya dates from the 8th Century BC (800-701 BC), which means there are ancient civilizations that predate her. I was confused when MC suddenly wakes up in the same room she was found in, only to be woken up by the love interests. I mean, yay they came to the rescue, but that left me wondering about the whole scene. And double yay at Lily for her tech savvy! Since the next chapter involves going to Vegas, this probably means there won't be a cameo appearance of Grant Emerson, which I anticipated. Oh well. I hope the cameo is a fun one. More Thoughts on Platinum:

After reading the summary for the second chapter, I groaned that this story will most likely feature a female rival I'm forced to hate, a problematic cliché Pixelberry loves using just to encourage players to vilify women and girls as rivals. This is a worrying trend that should stop, especially because what PB writes is sometimes influenced by fan reception, which always distorts the writing of characters and fails to provide meaningful commentary. It reeks of narrow-minded superficiality that reflects badly on players and writers alike. At least it was funny to see the OH female MC models recycled to the point that it could pass for an alternate universe where her medical license is revoked, and she chose a different career path. This won't hold water for me because my OH!MC's male, though they might as well be relatives. Red Carpet Diaries Book 3:I'm still angry that RCD gets a third book after the fiasco that is the second book. I'll just play this book for free diamonds and a few characters I like.

[munchflix]

WATCHMEN - THE SUPER EXTENDED CUT

IMDB BLURB: In 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.

WARNINGS: Giant blue peen, large bepis. It's blue. Malin Ackerman can't act for shit. Attempted rape. Lots of murder. Some gore. Adult themes? Zack Snyder. Repulsive sex scene. It's not gross, it's just weird and uncomfortable. And unnecessarily long.

RATING: Who watches the Watchmen? Us...unfortunately.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this. And please please don’t watch this fucking movie.

MUNCH: I want you to know, first thing, that I will never forgive you for making me watch this for a THIRD TIME. I first saw this in the theatre on my birthday and it was awful then. I spent three hours waiting for it to get better and it didn't and now you're making us watch the super extended version with 30 more minutes of shit I DON'T WANT TO SEE. I am old and I was a fan of the comic long before this detritus was filmed. I was actually excited for this shit. This movie, like a lot of the movies we review once a year, is bad. It's pretty, it's well filmed, it has a brilliant cast, and it sucks like a Dyson trying to fellate a rubber chicken.

BISCUITS: Okay...I'm gonna be upfront about this. We're gonna have to be here for each other during this review. We need to BELIEVE in ourselves, and to share our mental fortitude. That might be the only way we'll be strong enough to make it through. Even then, there's no guarantee we'll make it...but if we do, we'll emerge from the other side as changed women, now knowing the true power that the bond of friendship can hold. Or not. Actually, we'll probably just end up sad. But the point is, we need to be here for each other.

M: The Nixon makeup is so bad. All this budget and he looks like a half melted wax statue.

These are the Nixons, folks.

B: Jeffrey Dean Morgan in old age makeup? I'd still smash that. The DOOMSDAY CLOCK! That's a reference to the comic! Get it?! We're JUST like the comic!

M: That's part of what bugs me, there's so many moments just taken straight out of the comic and then the rest of it is just Zack Snyder mentally masturbating about how cool he is.

B: Let me tell you younguns - long before the days of Suicide Squad and Batman V. Superman, Zack Snyder created the first of many tragic mistakes in the saga of "DC and Warner Bros. Attempt to Movie". It was dark, overdramatic, and had little substance behind its superficially good visuals. But Warner Bros. were all like "OMG Zach, look at all this money. Can you fuck ALL our beloved properties like this???"

M: Nostaaaaaalgia.

B: Okay, Unforgettable - this song was in the comic, it was in the book. It was playing in a scene in the comic but it was when Dan and Laurie tried to have sex for the first time. I don't understand the rationale behind using a song from the comic but putting it in a completely different scene. Why did you make that change? I don't understand why you would do that.

M: Watchmen in a nutshell. JESUS CHRIST I forgot that the explosions come in about 30 times louder than everything else.

B: Why is the Comedian wearing a smiley face pin on his bathrobe? Because of the symbolism??? Nostalgia. This is from the coooooooooomic. This is the first instance of inappropriate soundtracking, which is alright the first time but gets annoying when you do it over and over.

M: I have no idea. Oh yeah..the movie. The Comedian is fighting a mysterious figure that we'll figure out who it is later. Unless you've read the comic. It's Veidt. Slow zoom on the pin with the blood spatter because it's SYMBOLISM. Also the Comedian got thrown out a window. There's also been half an hour of slow mo and we're only 5 minutes into the movie.

B: *burps loudly* Bob Dylan, because there was a reference to a Bob Dylan song in the comic. Slow shots of our great heroes, The Minutemen. Zacc Snyder, fuck you. These were the original super hero dudes who spawned the existence of all the other masked vigilantes in this universe.

M: Gerard Butler??? Who the fuck is Gerard Butler?? Hang on, I have to look this up. Oh...he's in the Tales of the Black Freighter, which is only in this super-long ultra-extended edition.

This gif makes it look like Gerard Butler is playing Sally Jupiter. This is not the case (unfortunately?).

B: Which we're watching because we hate ourselves. Historical landmarks to set up the time period. Also Silhouette was a lesbian. Dollar Bill got killed when his cape got stuck in a revolving door. NO CAPES! Mothman went nuts and got put in an asylum. The minutemen turned out fine. Also Silhouette is dead. And Gay.

M: Bury your gays. She was only alive for two minutes of credits.

B: To be fair, she didn’t really have a role in the book either. Also, Kennedy is killed. By the Comedian. Which I suppose was implied in the comic...very vaguely. This is way too much exposition. We can read about history, we don't need a recap of every single event since 1940. We aren't that dumb, Zakk. There's more politics in this intro than exposition but Watchmen was supposed to be political. I have big problems with Matthew Goode....goode? How is that pronounced? Look at all that BEEF tho. Arby’s, I got ya new commercial right here.

I’ll take the one on the far left with cheese, please.

M: Slow the fuck down, jesus. I can't type as fast as you thirst. I'm gonna make you type this if you don't slow down.

B: Glad I'm not wearing a retainer. You think Jeffrey Dean Morgan would pay for it? Also Night Owl's costume looks so shitty.

M: Seriously, slow down. I have issues with how contoured Manhattan is.

B: And then everything went bad for the vigilantes and they got banned. This is SO LOUD. Tell Zaque Snyder I get spooked easily. I don’t like loud noises, I’m like a wild animal.

M: Oh yeah so the Comedian is dead. Two detectives wonder how he died. So mysterious. It was Veidt. Don't blame me if you didn't read the comic, it's been out for 30 fucking years.

B: My other issue with this movie, it doesn't ADD anything to it's source material. If I wanted just Watchmen I'd just read the comic. I could read most or all of it in the time it takes to watch this movie. So...Rorschach is ranting.

M: That's all he really does in this movie tho is rant.

B: All the towns in the world and I had to end up in this one. The ballsack town. Comedian kept a picture of Sally by his bed but that's backwards...she kept a picture of HIM on her bedside.

M: Rorschach found Comedian's secret closet where he went to be gay. Or a superhero. Or both. So he knows he's the Comedian.

B: Well, one or two of them were gay...a bunch of guys who wear their underwear outside their pants and this is somehow surprising? More slow mo.

M: This movie could be an hour and half shorter without all the pointless slo mo. Hollis is being played by Stephen McHattie and I love him so much.

B: Patrick Wilson (you can tell it’s Patrick Wilson because he looks exactly like Patrick Wilson) is playing Night Owl and he is a very good boy. The best boy. Although he doesn't have much competition for goodest boy, most of the boys are pretty bad. Hollis Mason is played up to be more Drunk Grandpa than caring mentor figure. Raw footage of Rorschach looking like FUCKING BIGFOOT. Your local cryptid.

*X-Files theme plays*

M: That was 20 seconds of super important extra footage that we missed from the original 3 hour long movie. Okay so movie, right. Drieberg goes home to find his home has been broken into. It's Rorschach. Eating beans. HUMAN BEANS. With HUMAN BEAN JUICE. We saw you lumbering around like Bigfoot on the news. Rorschach's mask is cool tho. One point for you, Zackk Snyder.

B: Rorschach, because he's a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist is like " I think someone's killing masks" even tho only one mask person has died so far. Patrick Wilson is a good actor but his performance in this movie is so blech. I dunno if that was the direction he was given or...

M: Part two of things wrong with Watchmen. Lots of good actors giving boring performances. I love many of these actors but they're so dull.

B: Except Malin Ackerman. It was an experimental time, Chad! All of our Bro Moments. Our BROMENTS.

M: WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU, CHAD?!

B: Maybe Drieberg quit on account of the Keene act because it started being illegal to do the thing, but Rorschach didn't because he’s crazy. And he's doing more edgelord monologuing.

M: Holy crap the animation.

B: And now with NO CONTEXT we get launched into the Tales of the Black Freighter. It's an anime, apparently. (makes angry angry noises ) this makes me SO mad because the Black Freighter, though a story within a story, had an explanation for its presence. It's being read by someone within the bigger story. In the movie it almost looks like it was animated by Ralph Bakshi. Like the people who did Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and Ralph Bakshi had a bad trip together.

This is what I see, every night in my dreams.

M:  I guess this is being narrated by Gerard Butler?? This is so out of place. It takes you completely out of the immersion of the movie to show you this movie. That was super jarring though.

B: The comic had a lot more leeway when it came to blending the stories together. Oh and now we get a shot of someone reading the comic to bring us back. Rorschach in the comic was described as being fascinatingly ugly. I think Jackie Earl Haley is too good looking.

M: And Veidt. I hate everything they did with this entire fucking character. I hate the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he acts, the way he Veidts. I fucking hate him so much. I hate what they did with his story and the whole Manhattan cancer thing. It's DUMB.

B: Why is Dan here? It was Rorschach who warned Adrian. And they're talking about nuclear war, very important to the crux of everything. This lighting is ugly. It makes Veidt look like a greasy boy.

M: He IS a greasy boy.

B: Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth. Like cold beans.

M: Rorschach is expositioning everything we've already seen, dialogue straight out of the comic.

B: Rorschach breaks in to see Manhattan. Rorschach asks the real questions: Does Adrian Veidt is gay??

M: That is a HUGE ASS. Btw Manhattan is naked. He is super naked. You will never be allowed to forget that he is naked.

B: Malin Ackerman shows up...to “act”.... The mention temporal interference already, so you won't be surprised at the end of the movie. They really overemphasize Manhattan's eye things. He looks like a sad panda. I have issues with his CGI, he is really over contoured and he looks really...weird....Laurie...stop talking. PLease. Don't act, don't try to act.

Pictured: Sad Panda

M: Now he's taking Laurie on some fucking weird time trip that was supposed to happen three hours from now in the story. Manhattan is just sad in this movie. All his rage and his indifference are gone. He's just sad. He tells her the future and he's sad about it. And now, 99 Luftballoons so we don't forget it's the 80's.

B: This wasn't how this happened in the comic EITHER. Zacque Snyder and his love of throwing random songs into movies with no regard for how they might impact the mood.

M: So Lori is having dinner with Dreiberg just like Jon told her too. I'm giving up on spelling any names right as of right now.

B: They reminisce about their young days when they fought crime and dressed up like lunatics and all that stuff. Ah those days are behind us. We're in our 40's but in the movie we're like 25. Jon thinks there's gonna be nuclear war and also he can't fix my bad acting. They turned Laurie into such a sexy lamp in this movie. They strip everything away from her that made her interesting. I am laurie, I am GIRL. Who needs oxygen when you have another man's money.

You so. Fuckin. Precious. When you. Smile.

M: The Sound of Silence begins playing. We both laugh and denounce Zaeck Snyder and the horse he rode in on.

B: Should have been Take me to Church. I didn't realize how awful the soundtracking was in this movie the first time. They just throw in recognizable songs.

M: Comedian is getting buried. Rorschach is here and Manhattan and Dreiberg. And Simon and Garfunkle. It's not making this scene better. It's making it so much worse. Lori has been randomly teleported to her mothers with zero context. Her mother is Carla Gugino who deserves better than being in this fucking movie. They quote dialogue right from the comic. Did Zaquery Snyder write ANY dialogue for this movie? Her old age makeup is fucking awful and she is overacting this so hard.

B: And then we have the flashback to old days where the Comedian tries to rape her. The entire purpose of this flashback in one sentence. That's the plot point. From the comic. That we need to get into the movie somehow. I suppose they're going for show don't tell. At the moment i'm just focused on how it extends this torturous experience.

M: I have a lot of issues with this part. He beats her far more severely in the movie. They start the scene almost making it look like she did ask for it with all the slow undressing. It's so fucking unnecessary.

B: And then Hooded Justice comes in and this doesn't make sense in the movie when Comedian asks him if he gets off on this. But since they don't get into this in the movie...I think they're just trying to get us to go OH THE COMEDIAN IS A BAD GUY, HE'S SUCH A BAD GUY. We can get that. Why does everything in this movie take so long?

M: Everyone is having flashbacks to their time with Eddie. Manhattan is blowing up the entirety of the viet cong while the Comedian shoots people and Ride of the Valkyries is playing for no reason.

In awe at the size of this lad.

B: NEXT TIME YOU INVITE JON.

M: And then we get the Comedian is a horrible person but AGAIN because he's gonna shoot this woman he knocked up and Jon doesn't stop him. Jon is so fucking ripped that even fuzzed out in the background you can see every muscle.

B: They tell the story of how Eddie got his scar even though he doesn't...have it in the movie? Yeah I killed that woman I knocked up but you didn't stop me because you don't care and well...you're not wrong.

M: And now Veidt gets to have HIS flashback so we can be sure that the Comedian really was an asshole. The Comedian informs everyone that their plan is garb while Jon and Laurel Ann make goo goo eyes at each other which will become relevant an hour ago because they're obviously a couple NOW. He sets Ozymandias’ (Veidt's) map on fire to emphasize his point.

B: Ozymandias will remember that. Watchmen would make a great Telltale game. And Dan has his American Dream flashback where the Comedian is helping with crowd control and we don't care what's going on because the Comedian looks DAMN HOT. In slow mo.

M: Biscuit's thirst meter has increased tenfold.

B: What happened to the American Dream? You're looking at it. Just as beefy and greasy as I imagined it. He had a really nice arm vein going on in that scene. I have a gif of that for uh...research purposes. Very swole.

Pictured: The American Dream

M: I just realized that I don't really thirst after anyone in this movie. The comedian is hot because Jeffrey Dean Morgan but my thirst level is so low comparatively. The only main chick is Malin Ackerman and uh...no.

B: You're getting gayer the older you get.

M: I can't even deny that.

B: Moloch! He's a former supervillian of sorts and Rorschach is chasing him down because uh...I don't know. He just shows up and is like Hey fuck you buddy.

M: I still want an explanation for why Moloch alone has pointed ears. Nobody else in the entire movie has that kind of deformity.

B: And he's like The Comedian just showed up in my house! He was drunk and crying! We've all been there. We've all broken into our former nemesis's house drunk and crying. Maybe that's just me...

M: Except that's what really happened....

B: And the Comedian is like - I did some fucked up shit but this is worse! The shit this unnamed bad guy is doing worse! And he says that Moloch and Manhattan’s old girlfriend are on some mysterious list!

M: It's Veidt. Rorschach tries to nail Moloch for taking a medication made from apricot pits. Which are POISONOUS BTW, DO NOT EAT THEM. Rorschach spends fucking ten more minutes slow mo fucking monologuing about shit we already know and JUST SAW. There's so much extra shit in this movie that does not need to be here. He sounds like fucking Wolverine. Is that Hollis?

B: I can't even tell because this movie is SO DARK. We get a feeble attempt to connect newspaper man and the animated comic.

M: At least it's less jarring. Comic man drools excessively for no reason. They're even leaving bits of THIS story out and making it even weirder and more disparate than it needs to be. Fucking why.

The nightmares, they never stop.

M: Okay Jesus they went from that straight to Loorie and Jon trying to have sexxors and this is so wrong and out of place. And then Jon is six people.

B: god. jon. stop. what are u doing? I took a theatre class in high school and all those kids were better actors than Malin Ackerman. Which is bad because Laurie is an integral character in Watchmen. This happened way earlier and this is why she ran away to Dan in the comic, but it's fine. It's fine. Whatever. I don't care. She gets mad but not really because acting.

M: Jon underacts but that's his entire thing. This is so disjointed. Jon is teleporting reactors to Karnak while they argue. This will be relevant later.

B: Three bepis, no FOUR! Too much bepis for my needs. Or not enough...

M: Jesus Christ.

B: And NOW laurie shows up at dan's place. We needed to drag this out because we were REALLY stretching to get this movie to feature length, y’know?? We were really scraping at the bottom of the Watchmen barrel for content. There's just not enough material to get a good long juicy film out of it.

M: Can we just skip this whole part? I'll summarize. Laurie and Dan spend half an hour whining at each other because Laurie and Jon had a fight and they kinda wanna bang but that will take three hours to get to as well for no good goddamn reason. Meanwhile Jon is putting on a suit to do a tv interview.

B: There's a lot of scenes of Dan and Laurie but there's no chemistry at all between them and there's no buildup to their actual relationship. Even Dan is so nothing in this movie and I liked him. And there's an article from the comic because this is JUST LIKE THE COMIC.

M: Why are they...oh they're going to Hollis...but this isn't how it happened. They literally make this longer for no reason.

B: I know it would be really hard to cut anything from Watchmen, because pretty much everything is significant - there's no material that can really be removed that wouldn’t be missed in the final product. BUUUT they just added a whole ton of meaningless shit to this damn movie! At the expense of scenes we actually wanted! Dr Manhattan has his tv interview. This is not gonna go well. Everyone is like wtf are you talking about Jon. Dan and Lori beat up a bunch of thugs because uh...they're living for thrills?

M: Some reporter dude stands up and starts shit with Manhattan. He accuses him of giving everyone cancer. I'm sorry I caused all that cancer. You'd think Jon would KNOW whether or not he caused cancer...he was a fucking physicist.

B: Jon doesn't know whether or not he's radioactive. Spoiler alert: he ain't. He's just had his intrinsic fields removed - really simple procedure, like taking out the appendix.

M: *cronches pizza rolls*

B: A lot less screen time for Janey Slater in the movie, too. She's like "PRETTY PATTIES TURNED MY FACE PURPLE!!!" and then Doc Manhattan teleports everyone out of the studio because he's very emotional rn. That makes...one person in this movie with intense emotions.

M: You're right there...nobody in this movie really shows much in the way of emotion. Everyone's just sorta like "well, the world's going to shit - huh." I REALLY don't like the way they incorporated Tales of the Black Freighter into this movie.

B: Idec what's happening in this stupid anime. Man wants to get home before the freighter. Builds raft out of bloated corpses. Freaky eyes. It's supposed to parallel various elements of the 'real world' storylines but it's so jarring that drawing those connections becomes nigh on impossible. In the comic, panels from TotBF were often right alongside panels from the main story, but you couldn't really do something like that in a movie. They also still don't really do anything with the newspaper corner bits.

M: Did they actually show Dr. Manhattan leaving Earth?

B: No. Not yet.

M: So they just throw us into this scenario?

B: Yep. Dr. Manhattan got ANGERY and was like "y'know what? I'm going to Mars to deliver some exposition!! Way later than this happened in the comic, but who gives a flying fuck??" And we sorta get the explanation of the way Jon perceives time - but again, much less effective than it was in the comic. Everything in this movie is so DARK. 'Dark and gritty' doesn't usually refer to the visuals of a story.

M: Jon got stuck in an experimental machine where they were doing SCIENCE. He got disintegrated.

B: Just look at the SYMBOLISM...I mean, uh, the time. Jon's narration sounds like ASMR. He eventually manages to reassemble himself, but now he's blue....and nAkEd.

M: This giant naked blue dude shows up and Janey is just like "Jon?? Is that you??"

B: Jon is super-powerful, so the govt lords him as a weapon and uses him to help end the Vietnam war, and a lot of references to nuclear power.

M: I know his symbol is supposed to be a hydrogen atom, but it kinda looks like the power button on an Xbox.

Particle man, particle man...

B: This movie feels significantly gorier than the comic...which is not necessary. Janey is worried about how powerful Jon is - or she just wants him to put some fuckin' pants on.

M: Speaking of things that take you out of the movie - Jon's ENTIRE backstory in one flashback. Worked in the comic, not in the movie.

B: Jon macks on a 16 year old girl and is like - why is this a problem? My girlfriend is getting old, I gotta get a new one. Also I'm tired of earth. Going to mars.

M: We literally zoom out from Jon's ass crack.

B: There is no reason to put a physical or cgi camera that close to anyone's ass crack.

M: Jon has fucked off and now they're interrogating Laurie about where he went. She randomly assaults one of them because she can? Why are we having this slo mo smoking moment? And now another flashback to the Comedian... oh right, we have to have Laurie's version of why this guy was a douchebag.

B: Eddie's like, you think I'd fuck my daughter? And Sally is like - yah you might.

M: The gubmint is freaking out because their giant blue naked nuclear weapon has gone to Mars. I hate the Nixon makeup so much. He looks so fake. They wasted their budget on Manhattan's cock. I can't believe we still have 2 hours of this shit left.

B: (separate tangent about her cat) I'd rather focus on my cat than this movie. Why is this scene happening? Why is it significant? Is it supposed to increase the tension with the whole nuclear war thing??

M: I don't know. Why is it going on for so long? They figured out he's on mars because there's a blue spot? Uh...Laurie is beating up a guy and chaining him to a radiator? What....What did that have to do with ANYTHING? The gubmint is now attacking Veidt for trying to create free energy...?

B: This scene is just for Ozymandias to explain his backstory...I guess??

M: I honestly have no idea what's going on.

B: It's supposed to parallel the scene in the comic where he talks about Alexander the Great and stuff...

M: This happened at the END of the comic tho.

B: But here it's just...confusing. The choices they made just generally leave you feeling confused. Not like the comic did. It's ‘Vight’. I'm right.

Adrian Veidt is gay is the most discussed in the media in the few years ago.

M: Oh and now the scene where a hitman shows up disguised as a pizza guy so we can slow mo more totally excessive gore.

B: There was plenty of violence in the comic but...you can be dark and edgy without being this damn gory. Dan and Laurie have yet another meaningless conversation at a table and now Dan is suddenly on board with Rorshach's paranoia??

M: And Dan invites her to come over but in the comic she literally ran to him immediately after Jon left. Jesus now Rorshach is fucking monologuing again. They're fucking with the order of events again and it's pissing me off.

B: They don't seem to do it with any rhyme or reason. You have to make changes to adapt to a medium but there's zero apparent reason for the changes in chronology...

M: Rorschach breaks into Moloch's house so he can get caught again. Why the fuck would Moloch know about any of this??

B: But Moloch is dead. It was a SET UP.

M: I'm losing all plot cohesiveness because of all this nonsense. I can't remember what actually happened. Ten minutes of Rorshach slow mo fighting his way out but he's gonna get caught because Veidt organized all this but they don't tell you that in the movie because of reasons.

B: We're not explaining a lot of the plot because it's happening so slowly. They caught Rorschach. They takin' im to prison.

M: Rorschach don't care. He got shit to do. And now maybe back to the animation...? Yes.

B: They do like 1/16th of this shit with the newstand corner. They should have just not at all done it. They just seem like framing to put the Black Freighter in there.

M: Except they don't do it every time, and that makes it worse. And they made weird ass changes to this story too. It's supposed to parallel what's happening in the main story but it's making NO SENSE.

B: This also adds nothing to the story and it breaks the immersion.

M: It mostly seems like an excuse to be gross. And now for Rorschach's mental health evaluation.

B: He's psycho bonkers crazy. Part of the concept of Watchmen is that everyone has issues. The complex psychology.

Look inside your local garbage and you may find a friend and boy.

M: Aw who cares about that. Let's shoot off some more fingers! We get his entire backstory in very very short flashbacks. He's still nuts.

B: This was over the course of quite a while in the comic.

M: Yeah but suddenly we're pressed for time in the seven hour long movie so we gotta condense his entire story into a ten minute scene. Which makes this feel rushed, which is fucking weird considering how drawn out every fucking thing in this movie is.

B: The comic felt like a bunch of stories being told at once but all tying in together at a certain point. Convergent stories The movie feels like a bunch of different stories that happen and then they're over. They're not tying anything together. (Biscuits starts singing Linkin Park because this part is so fucking dark)

M: So he's telling this story about how he killed a guy for kidnapping a girl and Biscuits is looking up the name of that song because she can't remember what it's called and still singing.

B: It's called Shadow of the Day...it’s like the one Linkin Park song I know

M: Okay. And Rorschach is gonna....kill this guy with a hatchet???

B: That is NOT how that happened. He tied him up and set that house on fire. But now he's gonna hit that guy in the head 20 times. And now he's Rorschach. There is no Laura, only Zuul.

M: ...Dana!!

B: Oh...Dana....is that from...

M: Ghostbusters!

B: I didn't wanna say it and have you be like - No it's from the Exorcist!

M: That would have been pretty funny in the exorcist. There is no Pazuzu, only Zuul.

B: Rorschach delivers the iconic line - I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me. The angrier he gets the more gravelly his voice gets. Meanwhile back at the ranch...Lori looks at Dan's shit.

M: You gotta be more specific. In this movie it might be actual shit. She's looking at this ship.

B: He's got some cool etchings, and a stamp collection. She sets things on fire. In the comic she thought it was the cigarette lighter. That's not how you put out a fire.

Laurie is an expert firefighter.

M: She doesn't have any brains.

B: She's an animatronic being controlled offscreen. Everything is so bland in this movie. We really aren't given any reasons to connect with Dan and Laurie.

M: This scene isn't helping either. It's boring and we don't care what's happening because we don't fucking care about Dan and Looooooorie. I can't think of a couple with less chemistry than these two.

B: Do you know what this means??

M: Yes.

B: We're getting close to the sex scene. It's like a case study in how not to do a sex scene in a movie. It's like the most awkward horrible thing that can be done. These scenes were in the comic, but not like this.

M: They're not gonna bang right now anyway because Dan can't get it up because uh...Adrian isn't doing gymnastics in the background and Unforgettable isn't playing.

B: Patrick Wilson's titty.

M: Did we really need to...

B: It's okay. Patrick Wilson is reasonably attractive. I would give those titties a six. Maybe a seven. Compared to having to see Malin Ackerman's tits, I would give them an 11. They're better than Manhattan's tits, which are cgen and disgustingly hyperdetailed.

M: BACK TO RORSCHACH. Who is being threatened by a little person named Big Figure because that's fucking funny. I guess. But it's also canon. And now Dan's dreaming but there's no actual meaning here because they do it wrong.

B: It really would have been better to put that in there after Dan and Laurie stop trying to bang instead of going to Rorschach?

M: And then IMMEDIATELY back to the animated parts with NO warning.

B: That was the worst editing I've ever seen. Sharks are eating the corpse boat.

M: I'm so confused. How did that shark get back up into the boat thing....

B: Who the fuck cares anymore.

M: Back to reality?? Snoop Dogg threatens the comic reading man because uh...

B: Snap back to reality...OH there goes gravity...something about spaghetti. And now back to Dan who is staring naked at his suit. There's too many behinds in this movie.

M: Are you gonna rate it?

B: I like plenty of naked behinds in other contexts.

M: I'm not even gonna ask.

B: Dreiberg is pretty ripped for being supposedly flabby and old. Laurrrrrie decides they should go fight crime.

Unfortunately, Malin Akerman.

M: Night Owl's costume is so bad. Like Ozymandias’ costume and...most of the costumes.

B: Laurie's costume is mostly see through because she can't fight crime if she's not sexy. We don't get any explanation of Dan's bird love in the movie. He's a good bird boy. That's a tongue twister.

M: They're saving people from a fire. I kinda want to go take a nap.

B: Why is he shooting into the burning building???

M: I don't know! Oh it's a water tower.

B: I thought he was just shooting up a burning building.

M: I'm sorry but she would be DEAD from that backdraft. There is no way. So now they gotta drop people off so they can bang in the owlship. Which I don't wanna see. SKIP.

B: This isn't how this happened in the comic at all.

M: Back to Rorschach again. They don't do the whole language pun thing which was so fucking cool in the comic. Big Figure. Small world. Why is all Rorschach's shit cut out??? Don't tell me they didn't have time. They see one dead guy and they know Rorschach is alive?

B: Professional dead guy appraiser.

M: Oh yeah there's a whole prison riot going on but we don't know why in the movie because they don't explain it.

B: Now Dan and Lari are gonna beat up some guys but it's so fucking dark it's like I'm watching Fan4stic. More slow mo.

M: They had to cut Rorschach's story to make time for all the slow mo.

B: I hate Night Owl's outfit. Leri's doesn't look anything like the comic either. I punched that guy! I'm a strong independent woman!

M: Rorschach goes to kill Big Figure in the bathroom which also fucks up what happened in the comic. Luri calls Rorschach an idiot and they start bitch fighting but Dan is like come on we gotta go. We have an hour left. We have to start building each other up.

B: (sings Livin' on a prayer )

M: NOT HOW THIS HAPPENED EITHER. Jon shows up after they get back and kidnaps Liri to mars where there's no air because he's a dick like that.

B: Diet bepis.

M: Laurie somehow knows she's on Mars because there's a giant glass sculpture there. Like on Mars. You know. Back to Snoop and his gang who randomly decide to take out Night Owl but pick the wrong one and beat up Hollis. Poor Hollis.

Yep, definitely Mars.

B: Obviously the editors don't care about the timeline either. Liri's mother is on the phone with Hollis talking about what happened the night before but I thought this was the same night? Who genuinely cares?

M: This movie is rated almost 5 stars on Amazon. You go Hollis, punch at least one of em!

B: The gang beats up Hollis and kills him because it's JUST LIKE THE COMIC. Hollis has flashbacks while he's getting killed. And killed by his own award. But we don't get the scene where he GOT the award. It's fine. I'm not mad.

M: Back to fucking Rorschach and Dan and Laurie and I'm tired of typing that sentence. Rorschach suddenly is sure it's the pyramid people doing all the bad but he has no fucking evidence? Dan lays the smack down and the bromance can continue.

Just like back in college...

B: We're just two dudes in a rad bromance....They're going to an underworld bar because they're looking for seedy dudes.

M: How would these dudes even know about the pyramid thing?

B: That's just how Rorschach do. Follow the money. Rorschach writes a lot of youtube conspiracy videos.

M: Dan finds out some dude helped kill Hollis.

B: Also back on Mars...ugh..his dick is moving back and forth and I know that’s realistic but ugh...It’s different when it’s just a still panel in a comic and not...this...you're made of molecular nothingness, can't you just suck it up into your body or something?

M: Back on Mars Jon goes on his seven hour long predestination trip while his dick wiggles.

B: Jon I have feelings, pls believe me.

M: You can't fucking...you can't...you can't fucking take all this dialogue and re-arrange it and make it work. It doesn't work, now it just seems empty and nobody cares. Lauree was having a total breakdown because Jon wanted HER to make him save the entire earth and now just stand there looking bored.

B: Dan and Ror have broken into Veidt's office searching for answers. Dan is an expert hacker. Creator's name was Jeff Jeff, born on the eighth of Jeff, 19-Jeffity-Jeff. So I put in 'Jeff'.

M: Do they even mention in the movie that Adrian Veidt is supposed to be like, the 'smartest man in the world'? Actually, we don't really learn anything about Veidt in this movie...What do we really know about him? He's rich? He makes plans? Possibly homosexual?

B: *Hacker voice* I'm in. Boys Folder, iconic. Veidt doesn't really keep his most secret government and corporate secrets very...well-hidden. Next to his boys, yanno.

M: Adrian had a team of like three people in the comic. His suit...

B: It has nip- It has NIPPLES!!!

M: *chokes to death laughing* I've never heard anyone so angry about nipples in my whole life.

A toast, to my suit’s nipples.

B: Did Batman and Robin teach the human race nothing???!!? Nipples on superhero costumes = a bad idea. Veidt has killed all his scientists. AND NOW - My Bubastis rant. Whhyyyyy is Bubastis in this fucking movie??????? She just shows up in this scence with NO EXPLANATION. Just, "oh hey...Ozymandias has a giant mutant lynx." and why would she even EXIST in this continuity - he doesn't need the eugenics program in this version of the story. Was he just like "I want a mutant cat, please make me one."

M: How do we still have 50 minutes of movie left??? Oh, I guess...Tales of the Black Freighter. This is still going on. Crazy guy has reached land and kills some people, believing his hometown has been taken over....who really cares. Was there really anyone clamoring for them to put this into the movie?

B: *basically says nothing for this entire bit*

M: *basically says nothing for this entire bit*

B: NO TRANSITIONS, YEAH!

M: Now we're back to have the least impassioned discussion about saving the world ever. "Jon, no, everyone will die...." That's not how this happened - that's not how ANY of this happened. Y'know what, Jon, ya big naked blue freak...

B: Laurie sounds like a teenager who's mad that her parents won't buy her a car.

M: "Do that thing you do..." This is making me irrationally angry, and I've seen this TWICE.

B: This part makes me SO mad. Irrationally mad. They fuck this up so much. We do not get any context to explain how much Laurie hated the Comedian, and why him being her father is such a big deal.

M: Also, in the comic, it was a big deal that Laurie had this realization of her own volition. It came naturally as she tried to fight back her past memories (which were not at all like this), instead of just being magically brought out by Jon.

B: They completely squander Laurie's biggest moment of emotional development, in turn squandering Jon's turning point in deciding to save the world

M: I liked the whole snowglobe bit in the comic...I thought that was like really powerful, but in this she just...throws a temper tantrum.

B: Ugly cry face. At least...I think she's crying. Might just have smelled some expired doppelganger. Jon's speech about life is also...rushed. And they leave out my favorite line. “Come, dry your eyes, for you are life - rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg.”

Acting, I think...

M: Laurie looks like she doesn't understand a single thing Jon's saying to her right now. "Jon...you're talking science again, and I don't understand it."

B: I've already complained about the inappropriate scoring. It hasn't gotten any better.

M: So Dan and Ror are heading to Antartica at record fucking speed. Rorschach tries to tell Dan how to drive the fucking ship Dan designed and built. All Along the Watchtower is playing at record loudness for no reason. Somehow they made it to Antartica in five minutes.

B: They're heeeeeere.

M: If Veidt knew they were coming why wouldn't he just open the door instead of letting them fry it with lasers? Veidt is sitting there pretending that he doesn't notice them creeping in to kill him. Suddenly we are shown that Veidt is somehow some superhuman fighter and gymnast which wasn't included in the movie at all.

B: Come on and SLAM. Hello there, sailors.

M: And now for some exposition while a vigorous swordfight is going on. Not really. Veidt is still going on and on about how smart he is and how he organized all this shit.

B: As with any mystery, it ends with the villian explaining how he did everything.

M: In the comic he literally says he's not a comic villian and wouldn't do that, but you know.

B: I could have sworn there was an alien in here....like there was something vaguely about an alien?? This is alien invader erasure and I will not tolerate it. That would break the suspension of disbelief, I guess. If Veidt wanted to make an alien and use that to unite the world.

M: Yeah that would be bonkers, especially in a world where giant naked blue men with god powers exist.

B: He is smart enough not to monologue BEFORE he pulled off his evil plan.

M: And now we see earth exploding or whatever because of Veidt and uh...suddenly we're back at the fucking animated comic.

B: The whole idea of him uniting the world against Manhattan just doesn't click for me. The alien was supposed to be neutral, to be anomalous. It also doesn't make sense that he would drive Jon to leave earth.

M: Way to pull us the fuck out of the super important ending. Slow zoom back out to the kid reading the comic who complains that it makes no sense. I feel you kid.

B: They're trying to pull everything together here with the clock and the therapist guy and everything but it was all crushed by the alien invader but now it's just Dr Manhattan's..energy force?? But they'll be able to recognize that it was Manhattans? Didn't they know that Veidt was trying to use his energy too??

M: Yes.

B: Oh it's bad. Oh no.

Bubastis’ one moment in the movie...

M: Jon and Lurie return to earth post uh..time bomb or whatever. Jon realizes the energy signature is here. He is not muddled or confused or anything though like he is in the book, so he just immediately goes to Antartica to kick Veidt's ass but then immediately goes through the intrinsic field subtractor like a fucking moron. Why would this even effect Jon? Why would the smartest man alive not figure out that it wouldn't work?

B: Laurie says things....she shoots Veidt but he catches the bullet because he's uh..just that radical. Stuff is happening.

M: For not being a comic book villian Veidt is super fucking acting like a goddamn comic book villian. Jon shows up all super huge now and he's kinda mad at Veidt. But not that mad. Veidt uses his magical remote control to show melty face Nixon demanding peace.

B: And this works because...why not?

M: Because the fucking movie has to end SOMETIME. In the comic there were hundreds of screens showing everything but you know...America. Veidt is like - this is our victory Jon and Jon SHOULD be like - you used me to blow people up dude. Fuck you.

B: Uh uh, can't do that, you'll screw up the peace! Rorschach is like fuck no, I ain't keeping this a secret.

M: I'd side with Rorschach with this tbh, Veidt is a fucking madman. He's like the fucking Governor from the Walking Dead. Ror goes out to try and tell the world but Jon kills him.

B: But of course he wouldn't do that, he told the world 35 minutes ago!

M: He literally did. Rorschach explodes and Dan gets all sad. That was my favorite Rorschach! Now Patrick Wilson's ugly cry face.

I loved that Rorschach like a Rorschach...

B: Jon decides to leave and Laurie is like but why and he's like - well I can't go back to earth NOW.

M: I don't understand why Dan is trying to kick Veidt's ass now. He already agreed to let the mass murder slide. Veidt seems unconcerned.

B: We don't get the whole nothing ever ends quote either, which was a big deal in the comic.

M: They fucked the ending hard though. Like with a chainsaw.

B: They fucked the whole movie hard. With like 17 giant dicks. This shit is way fucked.

M: So I guess Dan and Lbrbbrie go back home? And visit her mom cos you know.

B: And all the reconciliation Lrry had to do in the comic is reduced to one pathetic encounter with her mother. And it means NOTHING because we only get one little scene where Loree is SAD. The whole movie is this way. It's just a bunch of stuff that HAPPENS.

M: I don't give a shit about any of these characters. There's a lot of Lyrie and Dan kissy facing and talking about stuff that doesn't matter now.

B: Nothing ever ends but that's not..at all the way it was supposed to be done...at all.

M: WHY ISN'T THIS OVER, GOD. Straight outta the fucking comic we get the last bit where the greasy kid pulls Rorschach's fucking notebook out of the crank file to publish it so 30 years later they could write the mess that is Doomsday Clock.

B: Not EVEN gonna get into that. That's a whole other screaming fit. But that’s a comic, not a movie.

M: *AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING TO DESOLATION ROW*

B: *AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING TO DESOLATION ROW*

M: I don't have any closing thoughts. I'm tired of typing. I hate this movie. I hate what they do to every fucking Alan Moore venture. He deserves better. Write less deep shit Alan and they might actually do you right one day.

B: I find the existence of this movie to be a highly overrated phenomenon. I do, however, fucking love the My Chemical Romance cover of Desolation Row.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Star vs. the Forces of Evil episodes in One Sentence (Season 3 edition)

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood safe kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party with someone who hates them while Ludo hijacks a bus

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: Queen has no patience and legs.

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cube gets crushed*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Glossaryck is awesome and how did Moon miss Lizard-Loki in the orb?!

Naysaya: Tomco friendship confirmed and Marco finally asks out Jackie while Star the supportive noodle armed friend cheers on

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Starco fans cry, Jarco fans rejoice, and Ludo now has the book god dammit Nefcy

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: *glances around nervously* So… Star is similar to Eclipsa, huh? *Nervous laughter* Great…

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!!!!!!

Mathmagic: Don’t worry Star, I can’t math either.

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Heinous: Oh, so that’s how Marco got all that money.

All Belts Are Off: “Jermey is the biggest dick…. around!~”

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: Moon=Badass, Star=Why?, River=Loving Husband, Marco=Shocked, and we got to meet Ludo’s family so pretty cool episode overall.

Star Crushed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH–remember when we though Bon Bon the Birthday Clown was the end of the world?–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

BONUS ROUND! BATTLE FOR MEWNI EDITION!!!!!

Return to Mewni: This is… just an exposition filler. Not much else to say….

Moon the Undaunted: B4! B4! B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4!

Book Be Gone: “I hate that fucking book!” -Ludo, at some point probably.

Marco and the King: *Party music intensifies… and then slowly dies down*

Puddle Defender: They’re bonding and getting so big and I am so proud–Star you idiot don’t go alone!!!!!!

King Ludo: The mime stole the show.

Toffee: I can’t…. I just… how do you want me to react?! To much happened and I mean…. what do you want me to say? I’m still processing just…. What do I say? *slowlys ponders how I will survive until November*

Scent of Hoodie: Huh, so Ponyhead can be written as likeable, who would’ve thought?

Rest in Pudding: Ish da Glossaryck! And he’s Globgoring all over da place!

Club Snubbed: I literally yelled “Phrasing!” whenever they dropped the title

Stranger Danger: "Something like that” whY WOULD YOU SAY THAT IF YOU WERE ON THE SIDE OF GOOD?!?! SERIOUSLY GUYS THIS BUGGED ME FOR WEEKS--

Demoncism: Tom is a wonderful baby boy and Ponyhead is written as likeable, part 2!

Sophmore Slump: *sobbing* Jackie deserved better, dang it!

Lint Catcher: Introducing a Lavaboe! He’s pure and wonderful and deserves a raise and did I mention I love him?

Trial by Squire: I think the writers were all like” You think these guys will ship anyone with Marco?” and decided to test that theory.

Princess Turdina: I got more lore out of this episode than I thought I would.

Starfari: Welp, she makes me uncomfortable.

Sweet Dreams: *Sailor Moon-ing intensifies*

Lava Lake Beack: Proof that this fandom will ship anyone with Marco at the slightest inclanation

Death Peck: Rich Pigeon is my new favorite birb and Ponyhead is written as likeable for the third time

Ponymonium: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Night Life: The writers made so many new ships they had to get rid of an old one!

Deep Dive: “Chicken butt”

Monster Bash: ........ Well, that explains the cheekmarks. 

Stump Day: I think they just made an episode based around a picture from that bookcover, not that it was bad.

Holiday Special: *insert every cheesy Christmas/Holiday episode trope here*

The Bog Beast of Boggabah: The title is fun to say and the episode is average at best.

Total Eclipsa the Moon: Seriously, I’m supposed to think she’s an ultimate villain.

Butterfly Trap: In which we are all Sean, don’t lie we were all him at the end

Ludo, Where Art Thou?: Dennis is best brother, hands down.

Is Another Mystery: *sniff* I got more emotional over this episode than anyone else did and I’m not sure how I feel about that

Marco Jr.: I... I just... Why? What’s the point?

Skooled!: Epic advertisment fakeout combined with wonderful character development and lore with a shock ending makes a 10/10 episode.

Booth Buddies: Old Man McGucket ships Starco, proceed to react accordingly

Bam Ui Pati!: Ponyhead is kinda likeable in this episod--nevermind she’s back.

Tough Love: Oh man, it’s happening! It’s happening guys here we go!

Divide: We are going to war everybody--And they’re all dead. That was quick.

Conquer: So Glossaryck has upped his trolling antity and turns out Eclipsa’s probably evil, Meteora’s a baby again, and Globgor is her husband and imprisoned in crystal... Idk about you guys but I’m going to go scream into the void...

[jess-the-vampire]

Tom Vs The Forces Of Evil (Au), Chapter 18

Previous / Next

They hadn't hugged for longer then a few minutes, but for Marco it at least felt like a long and happy eternity. He missed hugging Tom, hugging him always gave them both a sense of safety and warmth when times were tough and it made them feel better just in general. Marco didn't want to let go, like Tom would vanish the second he stopped clinging to the boy. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. The rabbit in Tom's hoodie was making small noises and Tom let out a slight cough, "M-Marco, we uh...we better separate, I think we might be crushing Marshmallow a bit...". Marco didn' want to let go, but he eased off of Tom and removed his hands from him. Tom was blushing, a lot, but he was also smiling like the happiest kid Marco'd ever seen, and all because his best friend was here. Marco came back for him!! He really did! Even though he could've gotten hurt or killed he still came!! They stared at each for a bit until the demon let out a cough which reminded both of them they weren't alone. The both looked extremely embarrassed and Tom couldn't help but feel 10x more awkward at the sight of Jackie watching them. Jackie came too? If Jackie came.....who else was here? Star? Janna? The queen stepped forward and looked over the prince, noticing his burned arms and palms next to the bruises and marks he had, she looked so worried. She carefully reached out to him, "A-are you ok? We need to bandage up your hands or get you some help...you're in rough shape..".

"I know...I uh...I broke out and....sucks when I don't have my wand huh?', He tried to make light out of it but no one was having it. Marco was especially worried over how Tom succumbed to those injuries, and Tom must have figured out he was because he whipped around to face him. "This isn't from torture, I-I just sorta..broke my way out of a magical zapping prison and it didn't do well on my hands. But it's ok...It stings but...it's better then being locked away..". "We can head to the infirmary and bandage you up....", the brunette said quickly, "Before we leave, you really need some ointment on that....i'm sure mewni has something like that since you all can't perform magic right?". Tom was about to reply but was cut off by Moon, "No, we don't have time, for now we're getting you somewhere safe, I still need to find my daughter and her friend...I was lucky with you, despite the hoodie and rabbit masking your scent a bit...". Tom smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I just figured if i was leaving  I wanted to take some of the most important things I could carry with me, last thing I wanted was to leave my rabbit alone....he would have starved or gotten hurt or-". "Tom, we found you, and we're getting you out of here first, we need to guarantee your safety. She handed the three a pair of scissors, "Take Tom to the underworld infirmary, patch him up there instead where it's safer, then wait for me, I'm going to find Star and her friend and the high commission is going to find the king and talk to him....". Marco reached into his pocket and took out his communication device to Star and handed it to the Queen, "Here, we have this to speak to each other, it might make things a bit easier". She took it hesitantly and put it on her person. "You're not going to hurt him or anything?", Tom asked, morbidly curious why they were here to "Talk". Moon shook her head, "We won't if he will listen to our terms, he needs to deal with his actions, and....I'm not letting a kid stay in a home like that...it's...it's not safe...". Tom nodded, and she sighed, "I'm sorry...you...you shouldn't have had to go through all this....we should have stopped this sooner, you....you're a prince and the prince being...what if you died and it was because we didn't....". "It's ok...", Tom shoved his hands in the pockets, "Y-You're here now....you weren't scared to come and find me this time.....I..I never thought..". He bit his lip, "Thanks for wanting to help me...or at least thanks for caring about me...". Tom didn't seem to be entirely forgiving of it, but it wasn't the time to be bitter at the people coming to save him. Marco cut open a portal and they took one last look at Moon before heading into the underworld infirmary as the familiar heat of the harsh land surrounded them. - "Oww...", Tom flinched as Marco helped wrap up his arms, his palms looked awful especially and Marco wasn't even sure how Tom was able to hug him or pick up his rabbit without the pain getting to him. Although it was clear Tom didn't care about the pain when he needed his arms most. Jackie helped get him some ointment on his other marks, both humans felt like parents caring for their child. "Tom....what happened? To your....everything?", Marco asked, finishing up, "This looks awful..". Tom blushed,"Dinner was just...a blur, and I woke up in a dungeon all hurt and...I tried to escape and me and my dad talked and he magically sealed me in with a magic forcefield....so I tried to use my own magic to escape..". Tom looked down at his arms, "I failed, alot, but then something weird happened....I dunno I was just....thinking of you for some reason and I started glowing and....I got out..but it..felt different, it wasn't the same as before..". Marco's eyebrows pricked up, Jackie eyes Marco as if she was thinking the same thing. "How was it different?" "I was...pink, and....I've never done that before...". Tom bit his lip, "My dad was the one that broke the cat bowl, wasn't he?". Marco nodded sadly, "Yeah, we saw, he uh....he disguised himself as you to pump us for information and we...fell for it and he blew the whole thing up....we're sorry Tom.." "No, I was brainwashed...there was nothing you could do, even If you knew he'd find out eventually...", Tom took a seat on the long doctor's table and laid down, "Everything was a mess today, A big confusing mess, but at least it's over....". Jackie picked up marshmallow, who'd been sitting patiently on the table, "I'm going to ask to get some food and water for this little guy, I'll be right back..". Marco could tell she was telling the truth, but felt she also was trying to give him and Tom some alone time together. She left with the rabbit, and left Tom and Marco in dead silence. Marco looked at Tom, finally, they were reunited! They could hug, and play games, and laugh together, Marco no longer had to worry about him being separated from him. They could hang out, and spend time on earth and.... Talk. Talk about the things they couldn't really talk about on the phone. About Tom's crush, and to an extent, the one Marco felt he shared as well. "So, what's been up....outside of..everything with me?", Tom asked, "I mean, you and jackie seem close and stuff, have you guys been-? I dunno, are you guys-?". Marco shook his head, "No, you've been our top priority since you left earth, I-I've uh...barely left my room frankly..". Tom smiled weekly, flashing his teeth, and showing off the smile Marco loved to see so much."That kinda sucks, but hey, Summer's not over yet, it's only just begun. There'll be time to go and have fun, and hang out, and do weird earth junk. Is uh- how's your parents...?". "Worried sick, about me, and about you....you're like family y'know? You left without saying goodbye to them and they miss you..", Tom nodded in response, rubbing his arms. " I miss them too, they're not perfect but..I felt more at home with them, and....I kinda miss having them burst into my room at random times...". they both shared a laugh. But it didn't last long, Marco stared at the ground, how was he supposed to address Tom's crush on him again? Bring this up to him? Would Tom even want him to bring it up first? They had to talk about it at some point and Marco knew it, and they were alone and in a safe place to continue to talk about it. The human decided in the end, just to go for it. Marco sighed, "Tom, we need to talk....to talk about you..having a crush on me...". Tom blushed and turned his head, "Oh right....I-I uh....what did you want to talk about? It's uh...I don't know if this is the time to talk about it..". What his father said earlier about Marco liking him was now coming back to his mind and he didn't like it one bit, he didn't need his heart crushed more then it had been already. Tom's tone sounded sad, and Marco was quick to stop his doubts,"Tom, no, I-I've been thinking lately, and it's just....I've been meaning to speak with you about this. I mean, if you don't want to talk about it it's perfectly fine I just...". Tom looked at his friend curiously, he was blushing, "No it's.....what is it exactly? I mean....if you...go ahead..". Tom wanted to know, he had to know, this was probably the stupidest idea ever but his desires were clearly taking over. Marco paused, but then took a breath and continued. "Tom, I've been holding off how I felt about you for awhile...and I'm sorry, it's just been a lot for me to take in since it happened and it puts me in a position where...I feel like I'm making a hard choice between people I really care about..and i'm afraid to lose one of them forever....", Tom looked at the Marco twiddling his fingers, "Tom, I think I might have been growing a bit of a crush on you too, I just....I don't know If that means we should date or if that makes me a horrible person or-" Tom sat up, "Wait, you like me? For real? I thought my dad was lying....you...", he stopped talking and looked off to the side. Marco rubbed his neck, "It's just...I dunno...lately..I think...I might like you more then a friend..and..it's...I'm not used to it yet...". Marco looked as if he regretted bringing up this conversation now, but Tom looked relieved that it wasn't exactly bad news. Tom rubbed his neck to, "So what then? Do we....date? Or....I mean, what's the next step for us..?". But Marco didn't have an answer for him, the boy turning sad, "I don't know Tom....". Tom's heart dropped, Marco liked him? But didn't want to date? Marco liked him, his crush, his crush just said he liked him back! Tom's heart only started beating only to have it sink, it took a bit for him to reply to Marco's response. "Well, why not?", Tom asked. "Because things aren't that simple, I've never been on a date before!! I don't know what to do! How to act! I don't even know If i have the courage to! What if your dad came after me, or I mess up!? I....I want to do this...but I dunno If i can...", He fell to the floor and relaxed, "Tom, I've been scared of many things since you moved in, of princess schools, giant monsters, demons, but lately the worst has been to talk about your crush...because...I'm scared we won't be friends anymore...". "Marco.." "I know you and Star didn't work out, but at least you've been on a date...I still can't even..comprehend why someone like you, would even like someone like me. I've been under so much pressure, like i have to choose between my two friends, and I'm scared i'll ruin our friendship no matter what...If i say no, you'll hate me, and If I say yes and something goes bad....", Marco wanted to hide himself in his hoodie, "I'm so sorry for making you wait and-". "Marco, stop talking, I-I You don't have to say sorry.....I know...it was a lot for you....you didn't ask for my feelings....", The mewman got off the table to sit in front of his sad friend, "I...I want to be your friend, even if you date Jackie.....I just, I don't want to feel like a piece of trash and lose my best friend because I was a stupid jealous and angry kid again...". "And that's another thing, what about Jackie?", Marco asked. "What about her?" "Were you...have you been..." "Why do you ask?", Tom didn't like were this was going. "Tom, were you jealous of me spending time with Jackie? Ever?", Marco asked, "I need to know....I need to know how you really feel about me and her.". Tom was red all over, he turned away his face from Marco, "Marco, why do you want to know that? It's not your business to know about how I felt in the past.." "Because I keep feeling like a jerk, even though I know i shouldn't feel that way since I did nothing wrong! You liked me through all those times with Jackie! And it makes me feel like an ass because my best friend was hurt because of me and-", Marco went on and Tom had to stop him. Tom turned red, "No, look, you can have other friends!! I'm not jealous that you've been hanging out at all, or worried, or even....". Tom trailed off, "I mean, once Star, Janna, ponyhead, and I hung out for a bit because i felt kind of lonely but....". "Tom...", Marco looked sad. "No, look, it's stupid...". "Your feelings aren't stupid Tom..", he held out a hand and took Tom's, "you haven't had a lot of friends......". Tom sighed, "Ok, i might have been sometimes upset, but I just....it made you so happy and...I can't expect to always be the center of your life....not when she means a lot to you too. It's hard, dealing with that, when you're used to being alone...". "I know how you feel..." "No you don't Marco....", Tom said back, "You're not ever going to understand exactly how I feel.....I know you weren't cool on earth and stuff, but you had birthday parties with your family and friends, you got to do what you wanted, you get to be whatever you want to be if you work hard enough, you got to pick your friends and hang out without being scared of your own parents...you have a crush on a girl and managed to never fail and lose her....". Tom yanked his hand away from Marco, "Compared to me, your life is dandy. Don't push to know how I feel or act like you'll ever understand what i'm going through! Marco, I was hurt every day for weeks, locked in my stinking room all by myself, I couldn't talk to anyone, I had no one who really cared! You have a family that loves you, the freedom to go places, and you can be yourself without being scared you're going to get hurt by everyone around you!" Tom stood up, "You never were put in a place where you wanted to escape your home, that you chose to leave so you could get better because you always felt like something was wrong with you! Then only to find out you're a stupid toy your own family didn't give a rat's ass about!!! Heck, the people who are all so high and mighty didn't even care enough to come and save me!! No!! Apparently I didn't mean squat!! I find a home I love and enjoy and have a best friend I can be open to and then I get a stupid crush on him and I hide it from him for ages until I stupidly end up blowing up in front of him!! Marco, the day I was sick, It started, you came home so happy and....I thought you'd replace me..". Marco was speechless, he tried to reach out to Tom but Tom didn't seem comfortable with that. "She's so perfect for you, you know? She's calm, and cool, and nice, and she doesn't go through so much family drama or put you in danger for just being around her. I don't ever expect myself to compete with that because I know I can't and that there's no reason to try. If you choose her over me, It's something I have to accept because she deserves you better then I ever could after everything I put you through! I'd understand if you and her-". "Tom, I'd never-" "I know, but- the movie night, and the times you two talked at school without me, and...Marco....you're never going to understand just how that feels. W-we...I'm not like you Marco, I'm reckless, and I get hurt easily! Jackie's so calm , and cool, and collected!!! I'm an emotional wreck!!", Tom was practically yelling now," I meant so little to everyone else, that...I lower my expectations easily now, I just wanted to have a normal life and not feel like everyone hates me so much!". "Tom..", Marco, carefully made his way towards him, "I don't hate you...Star doesn't hate you,  Jackie doesn't hate you, Moon doesn't hate you, heck my parents adore you..". Tom fell to the ground and Marco tried to calm him down, "It's over Tom, you're going to go back home an-". "Marco, what makes you think I'll be allowed back to earth? I'm a prince....you're just from a normal family on earth, I was excited to be freed and to leave but, they'll probably send me off to a boarding school till i'm old enough..", the human hadn't really thought about that, Tom might be out but that never meant Tom would go back to earth afterwards. He was still a prince who suffered through a lot of pain and trauma, and he had training to still do... The Latin boy reached out for Tom only to have Tom reject him, and shake his head, "Marco, I want to try and restart my life again, and date you.....I do..., but please understand you can't just make me feel better by saying this stuff, you can't change the past...it's just not that simple....none of this is just going to go away...". "Like our bond?", Marco mentioned, making Tom blush harder. "Y-yeah.....like our bond....", Tom said quietly. "Tom, why did you never tell me anything about the bond after it happened to us?" Tom stayed quiet. "Tom....", Marco's tone sounded like one of a mother scolding her child, "Why didn't you ever tell me we were bonded for life? All the secrets we kept from each other, and you never once mentioned the bond to me, like us being bonded for eternity wasn't a big deal?" "Because I didn't want you to know, ok!? If I told you were had the potential to be a couple long before now things would've been more uncomfortable between us!!", Tom argued back.  Tom grumbled to himself, "What was i supposed to say?! Oh Marco!! We're now bonded under the moon and that might mean we could be more then friends or something? You didn't deserve to feel like you were inclined to date me! I wanted you to like me because you liked me!!". Tom hated yelling at Marco, or being angry to Marco, and he stopped himself before he set himself off any further. His voice calmed down and he covered his face with his hands, "You kept what you were doing with my dad secret for my safety, so I did the same for you.....". "Tom, this is a big deal....we share each other's emotions....that's why you felt different when you broke out!! The Moon makes us share emotional states when it shows up!!! We're linked together forever and it's not something you can just hide from me....even when we opened up and were honest about stuff we kept secret, you still kept this from me! This includes me too! I'm linked to you! We're both connected under some magic spell for entirety!". "Well, it's not my fault!!", Tom said, "If you hadn't grabbed my hand during the ball we wouldn't have been bonded in the first place!!I guess that's fine with you after all.....since being bonded to me for eternity is so awful...", Tom shut his eyes, and Marco realized they'd been fighting. Tom walked away towards the door, "I'm going to go see Marshmallow, I'll see you later Marco.....". "Tom...wait.." Tom shut the door to the room behind him and Marco tried to go after him, only to find that Tom was already gone, Marco sighed and hit the wall. Oh great, tell Tom you like him back honestly now, practically ask to start a new relationship, then screw up entirely and get angry at him. But he was right! They were bonded together for eternity, putting their friendship in question and Tom didn't tell him?! He didn't want to let Marco know that magic had done something to both of them? That wasn't something he could shove to the side! But...Tom was right too, how would he have reacted to that? How would he have felt about Tom then if he felt like they were inclined to be partners and possible lovers forever? Would that have made things worse between them as friends? Nevermind, right now what mattered is that this happened to them and they needed to talk about it, and work with it together. Marco needed to find Tom, they needed to apologize and work things out. But Marco was at the tragic disadvantage of not knowing where to go around the underworld,and that leaving his current spot was probably very dangerous considering the last time he came here. Marco walked back inside the room instead and took a seat, maybe Tom would come back in soon? "I should've kept my big mouth shut...", he mumbled as he sat against the wall. - Marco looked up as the door opened wide and a familiar girl walked inside, bunnyless. She saw Marco against the wall and lowered herself to his size, "Marco, I saw Tom....he looked pretty upset, what happened in here? He didn't want to talk to me..". "We had a bit of a fight....", Marco admitted, "I wasn't sure If I was ready to start a relationship, then I badgered him with questions about you, and then I made him upset by telling him I understood how he felt, and then he said we might never be roommates again and not to baby him and then I....I argued to him about the bond and....he left...". He gulped, he felt a bit sick, not the throw-up kind of sick, but the guilty sick. "Well, he looks really upset, you guys should talk....and...wait, you were badgering him with questions about me?". Marco wanted to hide in his hoodie, " Maybe a little, I just....you came up, and I asked if he was jealous and-". Jackie frowned, "Marco, what the heck dude? Asking if people were jealous like that isn't cool, not everything about Tom is your business you know?" "I know, I-I just....ugh, I got too caught up in the moment....we've never really been able to talk about...his crush. I guess I just...I just still have a hard time adjusting to it, I have so many questions, and...now I re-question everything..", He pulled the hoodie over his head some more, "I guess I just...I wanted some answers...I've been waiting to talk about this with him ever since he left and now he's here and we can talk about this without worrying about his father and..". "You started with asking about me?", She sighed, "Marco, Tom just came back from a rough time, now isn't the time and place to be hammering questions from him, we don't know what'll happen after today. Tom's safe but...where he ends up isn't your choice...". "You figured he'd be moved away from earth forever too?" "Well, Tom's not in your custody anymore since he left, he's....he's more moon's responsibility and stuff while his parents are being put in their place. I mean, I had a feeling this could happen but hey anything was possible. But, it's cool, at least he won't be in danger anymore right? Even if you see each other once a month, at least he's not hurt or anything." "Yeah...", the human removed his hood, "I'm just going to miss him.". Jackie rubbed his back, "Change is hard, and Tom being well....in someone else's care is a big deal. He's right, he was allowed to stay with you cause his dad permitted it, now that he's no in the dude's care, Tom could ed up anywhere till he's 18." Marco grumbled, " Jackie, if you're supposed to be making me feel better it's not working, i just had a fight with my best friend and he might never see me again and uggghhh..". She laughed, "You really like him don't you?". "I-I just, i can't imagine my life without him.....", the human sighed deeply, "I-I'm happy we saved him and everything, that he won't be going through this anymore but, what if we won't be friends anymore afterwards? He just grows up someone where and forgets me?" "Well, he's probably gonna have a hard time getting over someone whose hoodie he owns, and whose bonded to him apparently, not to mention who gave him one of the best experiences of his life. Dude, he's so happy hanging out with you, you don't think anyone is gonna top anything you two've been through?" "I mean, I guess not...", the human looked to his side, "I gave him his first real birthday party, he got to see a mall, movies...we fought monsters together, broke his friend out of princess jail, listen to love sentence together on bus rides, cuddle....". Jackie elbowed him, "See, he's not going to forget you, you're still his best friend. No matter here he goes none of that is going to change..". "You're right...yeah", Marco hugged her quickly, "Thanks, I-I needed to hear that, before it's too late..". "Well, You better both go talk, whatever happens, you both need to work out and be on good terms..", Marco nodded, "Yeah, I'll go do that, but you might need to help me find him because I don't know where he is or where to go from here...". She grabbed his hand, "He's not that far, I'll take you...". "I-I messed up....I just...", He needed to talk this out with Tom, apologize for going too far, and they could talk about it more later when both of them were comfortable. "Marco, it's ok, Tom will forgive you y'know? He's not gonna leave you without speak-". Just then a portal was cut open and Janna plopped out of it, she looked really beat up and weak, burn marks on the side of her face and bruises on her arms. She looked awful, or worse then she normally did on most days she got in trouble, and Marco didn't like where this was going one bit. The humans stopped in their tracks and Tom came running from the hallway holding his rabbit, he ignored both humans to look at Janna. Tom had been heading back to the infirmary, and the sounds of a portal being opened up caught his attention immediately. He'd been hoping for Star's return, but the sight of Janna sure didn't make him feel any better, even if the girl would probably be excited to have battle scars later. "Janna....what happened?", he didn't sound as if he wanted to know the answer. "Star and her Mom, that guy is one heck of a fighter, knows all the right spells. But first...can I get a doctor cause this REALLY sucks!", Tom helped her up, trying to avoid the places where she was in pain to lead her back to the infirmary, with Jackie and Marco behind him. Tom didn't say anything to Marco as demons helped patch up all the places she was hurt, even as Marco tried to speak, Tom clearly didn't want to hear any of it right now while another one of his friends was in great pain. Marco understood though, this was a bad sign, no Queen Moon or Star made it worse. Janna waited till the doctors left before speaking about about anything, although she was clearly still in pain, too much to move at least. Jackie took a seat next to her, wanting to make sure she was ok herself. Tom and Marco were leaning against the wall together, Tom was eyeing Marco slightly, as if he wanted to say something. But Tom didn't say anything, petting his rabbit and worrying about Janna. "Tom...we-". "They're in trouble Marco...", Tom said softly, "Moon and Star should be back by now, Janna is hurt, and my Dad is nowhere in sight. What if he escaped or something? He's never going to redeem himself for attacking Star and her Mom, he's going to get away and...he's never going to pay for...everything he did to me." "The high commission....",Marco said, "They'll find them, they're still there right? It's only been a few hours since we got here.....they....they can handle it. Better then then us....we...we came to break you out but...none of us are in much shape to take a king down...". Tom looked down at his messed up hands and recalled how he escaped, magic he never seen used before, and magic he certainly never did before. Maybe...maybe he could do it again? His thoughts of going back in must have shown on his face because Marco looked freaked out. "Don't you dare..." "What do you care Marco?", Tom snapped back, "If I die, you won't have to worry about the stupid bond ruining your life..". Marco felt his heart tug a little, "Tom, no look, I never meant to sound like I hated being bound to you-". "Really, then what did you mean?!", Tom said back, Marco flinched. "I never said I hated being bonded to you! It's just that being bonded with magic for the rest of our lives is something you should have told me!! I had to find out from a BOOK that this happened to both of us! You knew! And you never once thought to tell me!". Tom was quiet, softly stroking his rabbit's fur and not making eye contact, he looked like he was going to cry. Marco's voice became soft, "I just...I want to like you, because we like each other, not from a spell or out of pressure, I feel like I have to question everything because we're linked now..". Tom was still silent, moping and being how he always was. The human wanted to wrap his arms around him and hug him, but Tom didn't look ready for that yet and Marco respected his wishes. "I-I i'm sorry for asking about Jackie and -". "Marco, stop....look it's...I don't need your sorry....but I do need your understanding. I can't help how I felt about Jackie for awhile, I just...I did, I feel the way I do because of everything I've gone through and it's not something you need to feel bad for.  Lot happened today, I've been terrified, happy, hopeful, lonely, in pain, and miserable all in one day. I know you want to help make and make things easy for me, but I can't be a baby forever, you aren't always going to be able to understand me and you know that. I say things I don't mean when i get upset....I get angry. " Tom closed his eyes briefly to hod back his tears, "I-I...yeah, i should have told you...you had every right to know we were bonded together, I-I just didn't want you to worry about that. I just, lot has been happening recently and i'm stressed and...I shouldn't have snapped at you. You weren't entirely wrong to be upset with me...about...how i was acting,  we were both....kind've big jerks back there." He looked at him, his red eyes looked somber, "But I know....I know after the commission cared so little about me, what should I ever expect to go back to earth? It's not that simple, I just...after tonight I don't think anything will ever be the same....". The prince looked off into the distance, "Marco, I'm...I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shoved a lot of feelings on you, stuff I've been keeping mostly to myself. You didn't deserve to have me shove out all my feelings at you, I just...I understand, If you like Jackie more, I don't...I don't want to be that friend who wastes their life crying about it. I-I want you to be happy, even if that means you don't want me or can't have me in your life anymore after this...". Marco looked at him with his own sad expression, "I'm not....I'm not gonna give up on you...er...us...we'll figure something out, like we promised..". Marco grabbed his hand before he could protest and squeezed it, "I came this far to bring you home after all, we're not going to let them separate us after this. I want you to be apart of my life Tom, no matter what, i want you, and Jackie, and Star, and I guess Janna....to still be hanging out with me. I know things might seem hopeless sometimes, and it's ok to feel sad about it, but it's not the only option. St Olga's didn't stop us, that monster assassin didn't stop us, those bullies never stopped us....as far as i'm concerned, our friendship can survive anything.." "Marco, I-I know you want to make me feel better...b-", Marco bumped his shoulder, making Tom give him a weird look. Marco bumped him again and he swore Tom smiled a little bit as Tom bumped him back, Marco elbowed him again. He missed this, missed this more then he should. "When you two lovebirds are done making out over there, this human was up and up with some crazy mewman king!", Janna called from the table, Jackie laughing a bit at her comment. Tom and Marco stood up and made their way over to her, losing at bit of joy they had. she looked bad, but at least she was fixed up to the best of the doctor's abilities. "What happened?", Tom asked immediately, "How did you get hurt?". I mean Tom had a pretty good idea how she got hurt, but some context would be nicer then him having to imagine it himself. She sighed, "Me and Star were kinda exploring the caste trying to find you and might have come across your dad's office or something? I dunno but I went looking through his junk, tried to snag some spell-books while Star was looking through his weird collectibles." She hissed a bit, moving didn't feel too good right now. "Then our thingy buzzed so we assumed you had something to say but apparently it was Star's mom looking for us and Star got all freaked out cause she thought you got busted and hung up immediately. Then of course the freaking king bursts in cause I guess he heard us and Star immediately grabs an axe he had hanging up there and flat out attacks him. Like geez Tom? Why did you break up with someone who can flipping fight like that?! It was epic!". "She broke up with me...", Tom grumbled, "But just continue." "So she had a good run on him for a bit and I tried to help, but this magic dude really knew what he was doing, and blasted us against the wall, then Star's Mom entered in and got him in the back since he didn't see her and was busy with us, oh it was so cool!!! Their eyes were all glowing and man i wish my cell wasn't busted during that fight-". "And then what happened?", Tom was getting impatient, every moment they wasted here was another moment where Star and Moon could be in trouble. Janna rolled her eyes, "Look the commission dudes came in, and the king flat out turned into a big bug or something, grabbed moon and star, and vanished. I pickpocketed one of those commission dude's scissors when she wasn't looking and came here cause I'd rather not die....they went out to go find them..". "They...vanished?", the mewman blinked a few times, almost unsure whether to believe what she said was true. Janna nodded, "Yeah, in like a bunch of light they all went poof, it was super weird, I don't know where they went but it's freaky..". Tom's heart sank, how was he supposed to find them all now? Marco caught on, and looked relieved Tom couldn't risk going out to find them right now, but his worry was there for Star and her mom. He looked at Tom, "Do mewmans teleport? Can you guys really just....vanish like that?". "No....I-I don't think so..." Tom stared at his feet, "Janna, did my dad say anything before he vanished, a spell? like do you think he did anything magic related?". The girl shrugged, "My ears were ringing and everyone was talking, so if he did I sure couldn't hear it..". He nodded, "We have to do something, I don't know what but...", Marco took his hand to try and clam him down but Tom yanked it away. Tom was still a bit upset from everything earlier earlier, and it was clear he needed a bit of space after everything happening in his life with his father and the commission. "Tom, you're not going to-" "I gotta try, I might not have my wand but i can still perform magic...I think, if I can just...", Marco then took his shoulder, "You're hurt Tom, you're not in any shape to be going out there and you're already in enough danger, Star is strong, she and her mom can handle it..". Marco wasn't entirely sure if he believed those words himself considering Janna's state, but losing faith in Star was out of the question. He had to figure wherever they were they could handle it right? Tom walked off to the counter, and picked up the scissors Janna had taken with her, he stared at them for a really long time. "Jackie, stay here with Janna and look after her, Marco, come with me....I-I need you to help me.". Marco was about to interject when Tom handed his rabbit over to Jackie, "I-I want you to also keep an eye on Marshmallow for me, he kinda means a lot to me and If something happens I don't want him to be hurt....". The bunny made small noises and Tom smiled, "I think he likes you..". Jackie smiled as well and pet the small animal, "Just be careful dudes, and bring those two back in one piece ok?". Tom nodded, and Marco silently agreed to follow him as he cut a portal into the air to the mewni castle. Marco looked at his companion, who looked very nervous about going through the portal, considering he just wanted to be over and done with this. Not to mention how hurt he was, or how uncomfortable those surroundings were on him, it could easily trigger him. Tom was having second thoughts based on how he was just looking at the portal, and Marco had to make sure he was ok first. "Tom, a-are you sure you want to do this?", the human asked his companion. Tom was silent, "I have to go try, without my wand i'm not as skilled but..", he looked at Marco with those red eyes staring straight into his soul, "You're my catalyst, you are what brings this magic out of me, I can't do this without you...". Tom held out his hand, "C'mon, just like old times right? Going on dangerous adventures together against forces of evil?". Marco smiled meekly and grabbed his hand, "Yeah, just like old times, one more adventure together around good.." The two walked into the portal together hand in hand, still tense after the fight but willing to save their friends. Marco gulped as he stepped back into the hallway that he had only been in hours ago. This was a bad idea.

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Star vs the Forces of Evil Episodes in One Sentence

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood safe kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party with someone who hates them while Ludo hijacks a bus

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: Queen has no patience and legs.

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cube gets crushed*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Glossaryck is awesome and how did Moon miss Lizard-Loki in the orb?!

Naysaya: Tomco friendship confirmed and Marco finally asks out Jackie while Star the supportive noodle armed friend cheers on

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Starco fans cry, Jarco fans rejoice, and Ludo now has the book god dammit Nefcy

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: *glances around nervously* So… Star is similar to Eclipsa, huh? *Nervous laughter* Great…

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!!!!!!

Mathmagic: Don’t worry Star, I can’t math either.

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Heinous: Oh, so that’s how Marco got all that money.

All Belts Are Off: “Jermey is the biggest dick.... around!~”

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: Moon=Badass, Star=Why?, River=Loving Husband, Marco=Shocked, and we got to meet Ludo’s family so pretty cool episode overall.

Star Crushed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH–remember when we though Bon Bon the Birthday Clown was the end of the world?–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

BONUS ROUND! BATTLE FOR MEWNI EDITION!!!!!

Return to Mewni: This is... just an exposition filler. Not much else to say....

Moon the Undaunted: B4! B4! B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4!

Book Be Gone: “I hate that fucking book!” -Ludo, at some point probably.

Marco and the King: *Party music intensifies... and then slowly dies down*

Puddle Defender: They’re bonding and getting so big and I am so proud--Star you idiot don’t go alone!!!!!!

King Ludo: The mime stole the show.

Toffee: I can’t.... I just... how do you want me to react?! To much happened and I mean.... what do you want me to say? I’m still processing just.... What do I say? *slowlys ponders how I will survive until November*