#oh background characters??? whomst

[prismaticpichu]

25 for Seph and 6 for Zack <3

Heck yeah! You got it! ❤️ (I actually just answered #6 with Zack so i’ma skip that one if that’s all good! Though main takeaway is that I associate with his unwavering faith in others <3)

~~~

What was your first impression of this character? How about now? ~ ohhhhh YES YES YES i love this question xDD I always hoped for an opportunity to talk about my first discovery of Sephiroth shshdhhd. So! What was my first impression of Sephiroth..? Did I faint? Did I melt? Did I combust into flames at the sheer majesty?

Oh, no. My first impression of him was complete and utter HATRED…

….

For about 2 minutes.

Okie doke so this isn’t as much as a “first impression” as it is my emotions under the circumstance in which I was introduced to him, but I wanna tell the unasked for story anyway lol. So, basically, imagine this: it’s winter or 2020. Little Pichu is stuck inside alongside the rest of the world. There wasn’t much to do, not much to look forward to. But ofc, I always had video games to entertain me. Specifically, Smash Ultimate—a game I played obsessively during lockdown, day after day. Anywho, like I said, it’s winter of 2020. December. And what was coming up in just a few days…? The Game Awards.

Normally, I really wouldn’t care all too much. I never really gave a poo before lol. But this year??? This year, it was different. It was almost guaranteed that a new smash fighter was gonna revealed. And as someone who’s heart and soul was tethered to the game at the time, this was everything to me xD

So! There I am, sitting on the couch in front of the TV. It’s the 10th of December. The Game Awards would be on any moment. Already I’m sitting there and letting my brain trip over all the potential fighters that can be revealed. The anticipation is REAL, man. SO REAL.

The Game Awards start.

The first thing to appear on the screen is a Smash Bros trailer.

Little Pichu is PSYCHED. Heart tenses. Breath hitches. All the characters are there on the cliff. No indication as to who it can be. All options are valid. Every single hope has a chance. They’re about to fight Galeem. The thing prepares to unleash an attack. The music escalates and the god gets sliced in half and—

And…

Whomst.

The F*ck.

Is that.

So, yeah, um, I was very uncultured and had no idea who one of the most iconic villains to exist was x,D It’s actually REALLY embarrassing lol. Anyways, as Sephiroth descended from the sky and that random choir began chanting in the background, all I could feel was RAGE. I’m tell you. It was cold, bitter FURY. How could they add another swordfighter??? We have ENOUGH. Who is this woman??? What??? WHY??? WHY HER?????? WHY NOT SOMEONE I KNOW AND WANTED—!

You know how I said the anger lasted for 2 minutes.

It was prolly more like 55 seconds.

As almost as quickly as I wanted to chuck my remote at the screen, I had turned into, like, a mesmerized sheep. The trailer was (as my vocab would say at the time) freaking EPIC, man! The dude was UNSTOPPABLE. He plowed through anything and everything and holy SHIT DID HE JUST KILL MARIO?—

Yeaaaaah so that’s how it started tor me xD It wasn’t long until I was binge watching memes of Sephiroth’s entrance to smash, scarfing down comics of him and Pichu, and coming to the realization that I actually wanted to know a lot more about this character. I still remember the moment I opened up Google and typed in “Who is Sephiroth?” That’s how engraved this man is into my essence xD Pichu get help. I was brought to a wiki page, and there was literally no turning back lol. I learned that he used to be a hero—a good guy—which absolutely plunged me into wanting to hunt down the Nibelheim Incident and see his downfall. I became so invested in what I didn’t see from his good side that I hunted down an 8 hour playthrough of Crisis Core, as that’s what I discovered was the prequel to it all. Next came devouring fanfic and headcanoning- and, well, here we are today xDD Needless to say I love this stupid psycho to death, and i don’t think that’s changing anytime soon!

…..This has no right to be this long dhdhdhhd.

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 1 episode 1: 🎶who you gonna call🎶

I'M HERE I'm just gonna stop playing totk on thursdays (lie)

background!!

matt!!

matt's scandalous naked wrists

oh the spotlight

oh auggie's art is good

the unintroduced characters being in shadow is nice

I need anjali in period dress forever

I'd vote for him

maybe even….president…..

ashley's face sjdflks

"I just GOT HERE"

don't keep ice atronachs in your furnace

the art camera panning around a desk instead of just the fade-in

"tol hat"

"as I expected" rude

laura noticing the light on her and perking up

murder hand MURDER HAND

voice!

art!

that is the correct response

donald :(

not the swamp gas

"who are you >:["

auggie (ashley?): mark me down as scared AND horny

robbie and laura already gossiping

"candela's recruiting fetuses now?"

void stuff

auggie is surrounded by posh weird women and is utterly unable to enjoy it

"we ain't found SHIT"

howard's kind of a bitch

she said the thing

"imagination!"

force hands

CHARLIE

"I don't think that was charcoal"

familiar (derogatory)

"well let's go home" mood

the more arlo talks the more I love her voice

"auggie's education goes far beyond book smarts" I love charlie

"did you need some help pulling that stick out of your ass?" I also love auggie

auggie is reminding of my kid when we ask her one clarifying question too many

I don't mean this in any kind of negative way, it's a totally valid frustration

"trauma bonding" sdkfjsl

calling panic attacks brain marks from now on

deeply enjoying auggie vs howard

not a chair

"we need a distraction. I'll go :D"

I love matt's Dumb Guard voice

"I'd love to help but I'm off flirting"

"I'm not very good at seeing things that are here"

"this is wood" dlkfjsl

Ghost Donald

"are you okay" auggie.

"you're so warm" that's. not great.

charlie

"it's FINE 👿"

"ROLL THEM BONES"

"I know who you are charlotte" lmao rip

fuckin leila

donald no. have you tried consent.

laura picking apart no matter what game system they're in

tiny magic messenger pigeons

Abodeless Individuals

ghost hand GHOST HAND

fable npc voice

"you're a bit older than I remember" "yeah, that's what happens"

oh bless her

mala: the circle learns about poor people

I was about to say "r.j. maccready vibes" and then I Remembered

roll for vibes

I like charlie as a bridge between the classes, as it were

"what's so funny?" "usually doctors are useful"

"rikers over it"

"sorry about the laughing at you" (lie)

howard has a death note

unecessary parkour

that one bit from arcane

can't wait for this ride at critical role land

"the children" howard

"help him, doctor!" AUGGIE

I'm a DOCTOR but not THAT kind of doctor I have a DOCTORATE but you can't HELP people with a DOCTORATE you just SIT THERE and you're USELESS

I may have seen treasure planet one too many times

this music is a+

charlie I don't know what you expected

mala: you're not his real mom

"I don't like the way you said 'great'"

oh ow

miroku

is this going to be the equivalent of trying to drive stick

"NO my sweet student"

not the final destination

fuck! all fails

vax get back in your own game

"you did it to yourself!"

mala: Matt: good rp. suffer more

"did it work?" "no! :D"

arlo and howard are A Pair of Characters

any time ashley does that half-lean shrug question thing

The Food Of Our Woes

hungry hungry ghosties

"you're bleeding out of your head"

not the chetney noises

oh shit

rip auggie

everybody keeps forgetting they can roll again

"SPOILER ALERT"

"leave it up to fate - no that's stupid"

robbie's so into this sdlkfjnls

old as balls

eddie? whomst?

"the gilded rainbow" gay as shit

"we were part of an industrial accident" swamp gas

:(

"I crashed a truck into a building! it didn't work!"

"there's a reason he's a professor" it's bc he's a bitch

"don't set it on fire"

"your club tried to kill me, not sure if want"

in a few hours the sun will rise

gay

ah the true fantasy setting - free rent

"I slathered a nice man up" hate it

acted bizzare

they got a good grade at ttrpg

oh I love arlo

of course it's doc cochran

I heard the "mmmmakinmway" in my head

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 14

More exposition about people that are not of interest! Yay!

The Turkish merchant was the cause of everyone’s ruin, of course. I should have started a racism counter back in the prologue, oh well.

How are you “accidentally present at a trial”? Just stumbled into the courtroom, Your Honor, didn’t mean to!

“that the captive possessed a treasure which would fully reward his toil and hazard”??? So, not only does Felix view his fiancée as possession, he only helped her father in the first place because he reckoned he’d be given her as a present. For fuck’s sake.

Also, did Safie actually fall for “some guy who randomly wants to help my father” or did she feed his interest in her with love letters to ensure her family’s survival? Bc that might actually make for some interesting characterization of a woman in this book. We can’t have that!

Wait a minute, if Safie is a Turkish merchant’s daughter, why does Felix keep calling her “Arabian”?

Safie was taught “an independence of spirit, forbidden to the female followers of Mohammed”. Considering how the women in this book are all basically sheep at the beck and call of Their Men, this is either very funny or infuriating.

“allowed to only occupy herself with infantile amusements” …see above. Didn’t Elizabeth call her own occupations “trifling”?

“the prospect of marrying a Christian” – yeah, sure, that’s the peak of striving for virtue and grand ideas for a woman.

“sang to him the divine airs of her native country” – this reminds me of the tourism advertisement for every Muslim country ever, when they introduce the exoticism of the country with shots of the desert, with a veiled woman staring at the camera soulfully while some Arabian-ish song gets wailed in the background. Orientalism whomst?

“The Turk allowed this intimacy to take place” o.O Did… did Felix and Safie already get to consummate their bond?

“the treacherous Turk” – here we go again, with a nice lil’ alliteration so the stereotype sticks.

“Such were the events that preyed on the heart of Felix, and rendered him the most miserable of his family” -.- Felix gets IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 14

I don’t care that this story isn’t about him; this is the EXACT same bullshit Victor pulls – everyone else suffers bc of his stupidities, but HE is the one who suffers the most because, alas, the weight of a conscience! Twat.

Random girl dies to add to the tragedy of Safie’s situation – but who cares, was only a servant anyway!

And now she can live in poverty and disgrace with the bunch of them. Cool.

The Creature is only half-done talking about them, and I wanna trash-talk Victor some more…

For my complaints about how the female characters are all the same, there's not too much variety among the male characters either. There's either Victor and his copies (his similarity to the Creature is one of the main points of the book, and Walton and Felix are, while less focused-on by the narrative, the same type of self-important, whiny, extolled-by-themselves-and-others, snooty egotists), or Victor's sycophants (his father, his brother, the magistrates, his professor and, yes, even sweet Henry).

[handmemyglockenspiel-imgoingin]

No hate at all to any fans of the movie

BUT this is my first time seeing Coppola's Dracula and I am d y i n g so writing these random little notes is all I can do to cope

Disclaimer: This is not a review, this is not constructive criticism, this is me clinging to sanity by my notes app and laughing through the pain, commentary is all in good fun

[Bestie, if you're seeing this, don't read it, there are lots of spoilers. Yes, you. Hi! Ily <3]

uhh spoilers, language, and general ranting warning let's goooo

Wooooooo backstory

Everything is happening soveryfast and I don't quite like it. Slow burn whomst

They really kicked in with the intensely ominous background music early

Not Drac ranting to Jonathan about his oh-so-great family history on NIGHT ONE (this was so funny though)

I missed the part where he threw the mirror out the window :'(

"Foul bauble of man's vanity" bitch have you seen yourself? Well- actually no, but

"Maybe you should grow a beard" oh?? kinda gay

They quote the book word for word so often, but the characters are just - not- themselves

Keanu Reeves Jonathan has no survival instincts. 0/10 would not survive the paprika.

That was a clawed-ass hand that patted you on the shoulder just now, bro!!

They really went "hey what if sweet, kind, loving Lucy "I shouldn't say such things" Westenra was an absolute sex fiend!" and ran that into the ground

And my Mina, poor Mina

The way the juggled the proposal scenes-

Ah, yes, the 1890's nightgown!

Also why they gotta make Lucy sound like that

My poor girl

The way Art, Jack & Quincy see her suffering and go "oof" while they just kinda watch from a distance

like idk you should probably call a doctor or somethin' bro

I don't wanna talk about the vampiresses

[I'm currently typing to distract myself from the Drac/Mina happening on screen because I simply cannot]

[now she's?? hitting him? loves him? why not]

[MINA NO]

"Hey what if Mina cheated on her lame-ass unfaithful husband with some fucking old guy! No, it's hot! Look! He drinks blood!! Yum!"

"Perhaps I am a bad, inconstant woman" Mina NO

Why did they throw such a beautiful romance out the castle window like that

Quincy "Sounds like a goddamm witch doctor to me" Morris

Wrong cowboy but I'll take him

also What the FUCK, Van Helsing??

"Whore of darkness" I am so mad. "She is the devil's concubine" stfu

Whoever wrote Lucy like that needs to apologize to Ms. Westenra right now

Lucy being brutally murdered while the newly unhappily wedded Harkers make out in a church is also a no

"I just wanna cut off her head and take out her heart" SIR

I do love how absolutely unhinged Van Helsing's dialogue is for him to sound so casual

Jon's just... so very Keanu

"Gentlemen, must we desecrate poor Lucy's grave? She died horribly enough." Arthur's tone delivery got me on that one

Where is the Suitor Squad camaraderie?? The bromance?? The love???

I expected my boys to be forgotten and instead we got some assholes with their names

ARTHUR HAS A GUN TO VAN HELSING'S HEAD. IN WHAT WORLD-

Arthur's mustache is the only Arthur thing about him

THE WAY SHE DROPPED THAT BABY

Oof

Ah, cockblocking with the crucifix, classic Van Helsing

WHAT THE FUCK VAN HELSING, redux

"During your infidelity to those creatures" MY JONATHAN WOULD NEVER

Those grey streaks don't make up for what you did to my boy

Oh, how could I forget the atrocities they committed against Renfield

"It seems I've been rather naughty" hwhshshsh Renfield. Baby. Stop talking.

Mina is not trying to seduce Van Helsing right now. If I don't look it's not happening.

"You are whores of satan" that's not very nice, Van Helsing

Is Mina... practicing- witchcraft? Aight

Mina has a gun on Jonathan, what a turn of events

I- noooo

...that. Uh. Was that. Huh.

[athensandspartaadventures]

Athens and Sparta Adventures: Chapter 8: Book of Ships pg. 2

[previous] [contents] [next]

Quick Ref:

Delian League: Although not known as such to its contemporaries, the league was made up of the city-states and various islands bullied into paying tribute to the Athenian navy in exchange for military defence.

Miletus: A Greek city-state on the west coast of Anatolia (now Turkey) and one of the major centres of Ionia. I have retroactively associated my personification of Ionia with this city in particular.

Comments:

I do think Athens is self-aware enough to realize that he is in fact deeply disliked by his “allies” and his despotism is rooted in the knowledge that he is still a scrawny little rat man that would normally have his ass handed to him in a land-based battle...

And no we don’t know what exactly he’s running from, not yet :3

Ionia is currently free from Persian control, but I feel like she probably still has close ties with those who are still in the empire. Here she is talking to Lydia (Sardis) and introducing for the first time and representing the region of Caria: Halicarnassus! (who is also listed as a Delian League member because I can’t remember for the life of me when they joined). Halicarnassus’ design is inspired by a real ancient personification mosaic from the Late Roman period which you can see in the British Museum and provided to me by @en-theos hehe

They are gossiping about a Real Historical Figure :)

[koris-crumbs]

I’m Here For The Entertainment

Prev-Chapter five-Next

A My Hero Academia group chat story

Warnings: None, besides cursing as usual.

Pairings: Everyone teasing Izuku about Bakugo yet again. Background momojirou. And introducing another character! Our beloved Sero ^^ Theres a lot of flirting between Sero and a very oblivious Shoto, so have fun with that.

A/N: Sorry for forgetting to update this week! I was having a wild ride during classes this week 😭 but anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

~~~

MochiCheeks is online.

TheNewBestie is online.

MochiCheeks: not mr aizawa being a little silly goofy today

TheNewBestie: Iida is so upset

TheNewBestie: he’s not in the mood to talk rn

MochiCheeks: it’s okay we were all just as bamboozled as he was

BigBakuSimp is online.

BigBakuSimp: guys help

BigBakuSimp: I’ve done big oops

TheNewBestie: oh thanks Izuku

MochiCheeks: thanks Izuku

BigBakuSimp: GUYS

BigBakuSimp: YALL WHAT IS THIIIIISSS

BigBakuSimp: NOT YALL BEING SNEAKY WITH THE GC

BigBakuSimp: also love Midoriyas chat name

MochiCheeks: whomst the fuck

BigBakuSimp: hi Uraraka

TheNewBestie: omg Midoriya got kidnapped

TheNewBestie: damn right before the training camp too

BigBakuSimp: oh hi Todoroki (;

MochiCheeks: once again

MochiCheeks: WHOMST THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE ONLY TOP IN THE CHAT

HayleyKyoka is online.

HayleyKyoka: momos a top

HayleyKyoka: also ocha

HayleyKyoka: todorokis gone suspiciously quiet

TheNewBestie: omg it’s Sero

BigBakuSimp: my love you know me so well 😍

MochiCheeks: what in the homosexual is this

HayleyKyoka: yall are just realizing it’s one of my dumbasses?

HayleyKyoka: well ig more like bakugos but he’s stupid and probably will pretend like he doesn’t want to be in the chat so i think we should just not add him (:

BigBakuSimp: I released Midori from his tape restraints

BigBakuSimp: this is midori

BigBakuSimp: yes please let’s not let Kacchan find out about this 😀

HayleyKyoka: me and Midoriya rn: 🤜🤛

TheNewBestie: not Hanta lurking

MochiCheeks: HANTA???

MochiCheeks: WHAT

MochiCheeks: HAVE I BEEN OUT OF THE LOOP??

TheNewBestie: they told me I could call them that and a whole bunch of other things

TheNewBestie: they were in Spanish tho I didn’t understand

HayleyKyoka: oh todoroki

HayleyKyoka: you dumb pure idiot

HayleyKyoka: never change

TheNewBestie: Midoriya please don’t hate me

BigBakuSimp: Shoto please

BigBakuSimp: don’t do this

TheNewBestie: 😔✊

BigBakuSimp: who taught you how to use emojis

TheNewBestie added Hanta Sero to the chat.

Hanta Sero: YUUUUUH

Hanta Sero: ITS ABOUT DRIVE ITS ABOUT POWER

Hanta Sero: can’t believe my little Todoroki gave me access to the apparently vip chat

MochiCheeks: SEROOOO !!

Hanta Sero: hey shawty

Hanta Sero: Jirou make a name for me

HayleyKyoka changed Hanta Seros name to NonbinaryBastard

NonbinaryBastard: I love it

NonbinaryBastard: platonically making out with you Kyoka

HayleyKyoka: bro I got a girlfriend

NonbinaryBastard: she can come too

HayleyKyoka: 💀💀💀

MochiCheeks: wait wait wait

MochiCheeks: sero are you down bad

TheNewBestie: what?

NonbinaryBastard: damn right I am

TheNewBestie: for who??

NonbinaryBastard: like half this class honestly

TheNewBestie: oh

NonbinaryBastard: jk it’s mainly for one specific guy

TheNewBestie: ??? Whomst

NonbinaryBastard: that’s a secret I’ll never tell

MochiCheeks: omfg

MochiCheeks: OMFG

MochiCheeks: WAIT THIS ACTUALLY MAKES SO MICH SENSE

BigBakuSimp: Sero I’m thanking you sm rn

MochiCheeks: oh we ain’t even close to being done with teasing you about bakugo

MochiCheeks: this is only the beginning of that babes

BigBakuSimp: dammit

NonbinaryBastard: baku has big boobs I understand where you’re coming from midoriya

BigBakuSimp: right???

MochiCheeks: AYE

BigBakuSimp: BYE

NonbinaryBastard: NOT ME CATCHING MIDORI LACKING

BigBakuSimp: GOODBYE IM LEAVING

TheNewBestie: wait Sero seriously who do you have a crush on

NonbinaryBastard: 👀

NonbinaryBastard: his name rhymes with okie doki

TheNewBestie: what

NonbinaryBastard: you know him

TheNewBestie: who??? the fuck???

BigBakuSimp: and you people called me dense for not realizing I had a crush on Kacchan until like three months ago

MochiCheeks: bc you are

BigBakuSimp: I’m suing

HayleyKyoka: i love this chat more than certain dead relatives of mine

MochiCheeks: honestly same

BigBakuSimp: Iida when he gets back on here: 🧍‍♂️😡😤

MochiCheeks: it’s not his fault we’re all finding love

BigBakuSimp: who do you got??

MochiCheeks: 😀

MochiCheeks: SNEAKY LINKKKK

BigBakuSimp: girl I-

BigBakuSimp: you know I don’t even wanna know

HayleyKyoka: we agree yet again midoriya

NonbinaryBastard: alr, while this is super fun, I think Baku just short circuited Denki so I’ll talk to you guys back in the classroom

TheNewBestie: yeah I forgot to ask how they even tied you up without anybody knowing Midoriya

BigBakuSimp: I GOT JUMPED

BigBakuSimp: IN THE BATHROOM

MochiCheeks: not Sero getting to see all that ass

NonbinaryBastard: LMAO IM SORRY MIDORI

NonbinaryBastard: you guys have been typing away for weeks now I wanted to be part of the fun

BigBakuSimp: YOU DIDNT EVEN ADD YOURSELF FROM MY PHONE YOU ENDED UP ASKING TODOROKI ANYWAY

NonbinaryBastard: I can admit when I’ve made an oopsie

NonbinaryBastard: but Denkis also about to make several big oopsies if I don’t stop him so gotta go

NonbinaryBastard: BYE YALL

NonbinaryBastard: Bye Shoto (;

TheNewBestie: bye Hanta

NonbinaryBastard: sending kisses through my screen

MochiCheeks: really making me, tsu, and deku feel single rn yall

NonbinaryBastard: suffer

NonbinaryBastard: okay bye for real this time ^^

NonbinaryBastard is offline.

BigBakuSimp: Todoroki

TheNewBestie: suddenly I have to do some homework

BigBakuSimp: TODOROKI COME BACK HERE

BigBakuSimp: STOP ADDING PEOPLE YOU KNOW WILL TEASE ME ABOUT KACCHAN

MochiCheeks: in our defense it’s very easy to

BigBakuSimp: I’m being personally targeted

BigBakuSimp: everyday is a struggle

MochiCheeks: sucks to suck

TheNewBestie: and we know you’d like to suck

BigBakuSimp: LISTEN

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[kizzys]

Starkid Rewatch: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals 🎼

Finally we have reached the hatchetfield series

My paulkins brain is ready let's gooo

I'm that one lady in the audience who's genuinely jamming out to the intro

Thinking back to how the intro was just foreshadowing the ending and that Emma gets infected too

🎶what an ass, what a bitch, what a cuuuuuuuuck🎶

I love how every musical with them has lauren and robert having a cute dance number

Paul was clearly set up to be the asshole character but we all chose to love him so they just went along with it

LATTAY HOTTAY ☕

Does she know i would die for her

I have very low blood sugar

Paulkins interaction here we go

Knowing that ted is the homeless man...

I don't know how it changes things here but somehow it just does

Reluctant friendship hcs for paul and green peace girl come through

Once again: props to June saito for understanding the duality of lesbian fashion

Hey it's everyone's favorite murder grandpa

Oh, look a new blouse

Pitch perfect whomst?

I love that for Bill it's never a question of alice being gay..it's never really that big of a deal. He just does not like deb

He even suggests other girls for alice

Its just really comforting for me to watch it be normalised so sweetly

Lah...dee...DAH. DAH. DAY?!

I will 100% believe this is the man behind the paul clones. He is so fucking unhinged look at him

🎶black coffee, I'm your coffee gal- NOOOOO!!!!!

He has to bend to half his height to meet her eye level i love them

Promise me you'll think about the implications!!

Jaime had no business being this hot during cup of poisoned coffee

They're constantly just holding hands or reaching out for each other it's too cute

YOU GRABBED THE WRONG ONE, YOU NOODLE!

The purest friendship

Ted casually jamming out to Robert's dance

[alien/turkey noises]

His brain fell out

Who is it? Professor hidgens! Don't lie to me whoever you are, I'm professor hidgens!

This is paul and...them

I'm going to...kick your...head

Iconic

Get you someone who looks at you the way paul looks at emma

Or even the way emma looks at paul really they're both equally soft

The biggest plot twist would have been if Paul had been the one to crash Jane's car

FUCK CLIVESDALE

So I guess I'm the supervillain? I don't think of you like that at all emma

I'm soft for them

Jaime i love u

Seriously her voice 😯

Jeff just jumping around while jaime sings like a goddess honestly same

Anyways paulkins are being all adorable in the background

I love how they're just screaming out for bill like fuck ted

I shot a charle-ton

Appreciate his jokes please

SING THE BEGINNING OF MOANA

The best starkid song honestly

Can we talk about how paul remembered most of the lines? Like emma and ted were just repeating whatever he said and bill was fucking singing the circle of life

Ted's voice cracking

I just realised he's sitting directly in front of charlotte's body and I know he's 90% an asshole but this fucking scene man

Like he cares just a little and we can all see it how he's trying to keep whats left of his friends from dying too

Honestly joey's acting here gets me

Height difference™

When he said "I respect her choices but..." I honestly initially thought some homophobic crap might follow but bill you absolute angel

He did not dissapoint

Bill Woodward 🤝 Steve harrington

If you get what I mean

(team i have no issue with you being a lesbian but please have better taste in girls)

Fancasting for denise or angela to play grace chastity in NPMD

Corey's expressions in this scene honestly breaks my heart

He just wanted to save his daughter 😔

prove it asshole, we're the army

he boop

WEAR A WATCH ⌚

I'm authorising you to use my firearm

Hidgens and mcnamara are both dramatic gays but with completely opposite energies

[foot sweep]

The way he skip-runs across the stage

Draco would be proud

For a 63 year old he can really work those hips

The audience losing their shit

Should I take this chair? I'll get the piano

The light slowly turning red as infected!mcnamara smiles

The audience slowly realising what the lyrics mean

Honestly iconic

One of my favorite moments in the show

So the last thing paul ever told emma was "byeeeee"?

Nah fuck that they both survived and are living happily in colorado running their pot farm

What ending?

The theatre being Paul's worst nightmare and starlight theatre being the place where he's killed, and starlight also being miss holloway's nightmare time? Methinks he might be her descendent of some sort

Watch out paul, he might kick your head

Mr. Davidson didn't want to be a mindless alien slave! He wanted to be choked by his wife!

Starkid stroking their villain takes a whole another level here huh

Jon slipping between normal talking to singing after every other word is pure talent

All jokes and paulkins related angst aside the ending is actually really amazing for a multitude of reasons

1. Inevitable is an absolute masterpiece of a song and it ties in all the previous songs that were there in the show

2. It provides context to the intro song (its all a fucking loop babey)

3. We get this one final moment of softness

4. Emma's scream perfectly harmonises with the ending of inevitable

5. It spectacularly breaks the 4th wall for the second time and integrates the audience as characters in the show

6. They never once break character through the whole thing

7. It proves once and for all that the hero of the story was never paul, it was emma. paul was just the final villain

That being said I am happily going back deep down in denial-town. You can find me drowning in a bucketload of paulkins fluff fics goodbye

[canmom]

3.0+1.0 preliminary hot takes

mari seems so out of place - no massive trauma! role in plot mostly a source of convenience - because she's anno's girlsona reaching back into the past to speak to a younger anno (shinji) at his worst point. look at that body of work, no way there's not some gender shit going on. and given that this film is thematically a sort of longform response to the problems the series and EoE (anno at his bleakest point) found so overwhelming, and it ends with mari leading an adult shinji out into the real world of anno's home town after addressing the trauma of the various characters and giving them places in this new post eva order, it all seems to fit so nicely. whomst wouldn't want to

on an animation level... fascinating tbh. there was a lot of cgi, but as cel shaded cgi goes it was executed at an unusual level, and they really pushed it to shots that would have been impossibly expensive traditionally. the realistically shaded giant rei was quite a clever touch. but the traditional animation that was there was so technically good, like the one fanservicey shot where asuka rolls over and all these other bits of extreme perspective character animation. such a striking film, how can you even follow that. the cinematography, the backgrounds...

beyond that, oh man, such a film, too much to process in one go. can't wait for the anime essay writer industry to kick into gear and give me material to anchor onto

[fu-yao]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

The soul stone war is a game that I've seen before and its on my list. Was wondering if you coudl tell more about how you feel about it, especially the villain romance if you chose that one.

Uuh, sure. I'll do it in a bullet list cuz it's been a while since I've played it and I can't really be bothered to put a whole coherent post together.

I should also encourage you to read some reviews on the Steam store page. They basically repeat a lot of the points I'm about to make.

The main character is a useless waif. Like, even if you pass the skill checks, there are multiple instances where you're forced to pass out, be injured, kidnapped, or otherwise victimized. They're so helpless and out of their element that it becomes hard to believe any of the much more capable and skilled people around them would ever find them compelling or interesting and consider them anything more than a burden. Yet you’re somehow also the most important person in the whole squad, and they keep protecting and helping you no matter how you treat them. Because hey, that’s the protagonist!

On that note, the romances are dull as hell. All characters are vaguely nice and friendly, some are just more snarky/broody than others. You can "friendmance" people, which is a good concept in theory, but in practice it involves your character being unaware of their own emotions. It further adds to how incapable and clueless they seem. Plus, it never becomes clear why any of the ROs would be romantically interested in the protagonist, especially when they have established connections with other people on the squad already. You’re playing a rando who just shows up one day, bumbles about uselessly, but then becomes the most important person ever to them. Sure.

The plot is filled with contrivances. The main one being that the main character is involved in it at all. They're basically forced into it despite showing no particular skills or talents, and the only excuse we ever get for them sticking around is ... uh ... the big-booby elf lady said they were cute. The author simply didn't bother coming up with a better reason for them to be involved, knowing that there would be one eventually that would justify it in the end, but giving us nothing to work with in the moment, no personal reason and no agency. It feels very cheap.

The world and worldbuilding are basically the most generic fantasy thing you can imagine. The author even answered some questions on their Tumblr about the political structure of the land as "You know Skyrim? Like that." Elements and character dynamics and even minor phrases and words are lifted wholesale from franchises like Dragon Age and The Elder Scrolls. One of the first things your character can say is a reference to Dragon Age, but it's never brought up again and we never get an explanation for what it means in this universe or why the character would say it. One of the first lines in your "own" unique world shouldn't be a tee hee cutesy reference to some other well-established universe.

The tone is all over the place. One moment you're joking around about something the big-boobied blond elf said, the next your character is being tortured by some werewolf woman or some god-entity, and there’s nothing they can do to escape, so you just sit there and have to endure all this torture porn. And then it’s right back to the repetitive jokes and snarky narration.

I’m serious about the torture porn. One of the MC’s backgrounds includes their transgender friend being murdered for being trans. Another includes your character almost getting sexually assaulted. The third involves your younger brother dying. There’s no reason for any of this to be included other than to show how dark and edgy this world is and how your character is running from their past or whatever.

Speaking of dark and edgy, the villain gets a lot of screen time, and it’s mostly him brooding about how evil he is while the narration creams itself over how hot he is, also. But the author acts surprised over how he’s the most popular character in the fandom, and deflects most criticisms for his route as “it’s self-indulgent” and “it’s a secret route just for me, I didn’t think anyone else would play it.” Bro why’d you put it there, then? With instructions in-game on how to reach it?

The writing is genuinely some of the worst I’ve read. I hate to use this word unironically, but it was cringeworthy at times. It’s supposed to be this epic fantasy, but most of the time it feels like it’s chasing the high of a found family in a video game squad, without actually knowing what makes those particular tropes work. It’s simplistic and extremely repetitive, relying more on character tropes and “tumblr meme” interactions than genuine character building and conflict. It also tries and mostly fails to be funny, but that’s more subjective, I guess. Take a shot every time the text goes “thank you very much!” and you’ll be out in a few clicks.

Pacing whomst? Everything happens in the span of like a week or a month, but suddenly your character and their RO are like, in love and all weepy about it? Oh no I almost lost you my dear darling baby, let me tearfully declare how important you are to me. Nevermind the fact that we met four days ago.

The villainmance is the only vaguely interesting thing in the story and it's pretty evident it's the author's favorite thing to write. They've said how it's just a "self-indulgent" thing that wasn't supposed to be popular (I do not believe a word of this), but it's by far the most interesting thing just based on the fact that it's not only the most plot-relevant romance, but it's also the one with the most stakes and drama and the most varied dynamics. There’s genuine, justified angst and emotion in the concept of it at times that is missing from literally every other interaction and grimdark moment.

That being said, I wouldn’t say the villainmance is healthy, so don’t go into it looking for that. The dynamics are way off-balance and a lot of the route in the first game is your character being attracted to the man who’s torturing them and wanting to be tortured again just to interact with him. If you’re into that, then you might be into this story, but if you’re not then you’ll be put off by it.

The Asian-coded character has a "yellow" skintone and is a half-dragon.

The reason there's transphobia in this world and the player can't be trans is is because the "gods" of this world don't want any mortals to have the ability to "change their gender" because that would make them too similar to the gods. However, nonbinary characters are fine, and you can play as one. Because as we all know, binary trans people are just out there "changing their gender" all willy nilly. That's how that works, right? While nonbinary characters are always born nonbinary and nobody assigns genders to their children in this world? Idk how any of this makes any sense but go off, I guess. This isn't in the actual game AFAIK but something I read on the author's Tumblr, so take it as you will. The actual transphobia is in the game, though. Because reasons.

Overall, it’s a lot of half-baked concepts, unfunny writing, and needless torture porn for the sake of torture porn. Plus it’s not even a whole story, it’s just the first part of a series/trilogy? Maybe it’ll get better as it goes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath tbh.

[simptasia]

Cats 2019 😌

Oh, thank you, I’m gonna gush about this movie without even a DROP of that “i knoooow it’s bad” stuff, y’all know that I know. Okay maybe a few drops sneak in, in a back handed way, but MOSTLY this is me gushing and fawning

For context, since i’m putting this in the tag, the prompt was this was somebody gives me a topic and I respond with what i like about it. Like, the opposite of that “send me a thing and i’ll tell you what i hate about it” one

sometimes, like half the time, the CGI actually slaps. like, the close ups are amazing. proper look at some of these cats and it’s like, wow

mr. mistoffelees is precious. he’s my favourite and he’s adorable and his song makes me cry! specifically the bit where old deut is back and it cuts to his happy “oh my gosh i did it” face. triumphant! heck, i just like that whole song, as like the character thing that it is. and yeah anyways, misto is a cutie pie, he’s so shy and awkward and nervous, i wuv him uwuwu

misto is my fave but munkustrap is actually the best character in this movie. i cannot gush enough about robbie fairchild’s acting, singing and dancing in this. he is the backbone of this movie and i adore him! there’s a reason i’ve reblogged a bagillion gifsets of him being so expressionate, he’s so good! you can tell robbie loves being a part of this. and like, very often munku will absolutely be the best aspect of a scene

plus he’s beautiful too. munku, misto, victoria. beautiful kitties

now that i’ve adjusted to the art style, i find these kitties adorable. i love the ears and tails, they make me happy. i like how misto’s tail curls and the movement of everybody’s ears

i really like the music, shoulda mentioned that first. like, when its good, its really good. memory is of course a powerhouse. skimbleshanks is the movie’s highlight, so fucking good. i like mr. misto’s song, fight me. jellicle cats is a fucking bop. rumpleteazer & mungojerrie, I Just Like It. robbie’s performance in... well the whole movie... but also in old deuteronomy is beautiful and soothing. i’ve actually gotten every song in this stuck in my head.... SKIIIIIMBLEEEESHAAAANKS THE RAAAAILWAAAY CAT

legit, making that number include tap dancing was an actual stroke of genius and i cannot praise steven mcrae enough. whomst is also australian, im so proud. i also like skimble’s pants

OH ALSO regarding the music, another thing i love about this movie is that it introduced me to the concept of this musical. i never had any exposure to cats the musical before this movie happened. all i knew before was a couple of references i saw and i had heard memory. but i didn’t know that memory was from cats. and like, think of all the great songs i wouldn’t be aware of if this movie never happened. i’ve also, by extension, become enamoured with the 1998 version of cats too. because of this! i wouldn’t have had a reason to care before! i had no interest! so besides the fact that i actually do like this movie, there’s that

this is true of the stage musical thing, but a lot of cute and fun character moments are gleaned from like background stuff and facial expressions, that sorta thing and i find it really fun to notice stuff (or see somebody else point stuff out). like it’s all very simple but still with some depth, ya know?

the dancing in this is so good. so so good. especially munku because his actor is a magnificent dancer. it’s also funny and cute how misto clearly isn’t as good a dancer as everybody else, so they have him doing clumsy doofy stuff in the background. but im not insulting laurie davidson’s dancing, he’s actually good considering he had to learn for this movie. i just have to praise the dancing in this movie because i’ve seen people say that “the dancing isn’t impressive in this movie because it’s CGI” and i WILL EAT YOU WHOLE. no n no no people HAVE to know that the actors are actually doing that. robbie and francesca are professional ballet dancers, most of the people in this are. the movements are real, they just painstakingly overlayed CGI cat stuff over it. the stuff that isn’t real is like, stuff humans can’t do, like the big fuck off leaps, they used wires for that

Rumpleteazer’s Lesbian Energy Is Palpable

Munkustrap’s Chemistry With Everybody Is Stunning

victoria, misto and munku are OT3 and they’re bicons in my heart

oh i already mentioned the music but i just wanna say i think beautiful ghosts is a lovely song/motif/character thing. i haven’t mentioned victoria much, i think she’s rather sweet in a like endearingly dumb way. and her singing and dancing is, of course, lovely

the sets are practical, they built that! bruh

i have to give my respect to the poor overworked effects artists who worked on this movie. they were pushed so hard and for so long and i think they did a great job and they don’t deserve even a drop of the scorn they have received

i love misto’s jacket, it’s so good. and the pencil as a wand is clever!

the last scene is refered to as a living hell by a lot of people but i love it because just. watch munku’s face the whole time. so good. just watch munkustrap, he makes everything better

ooh on that note, i like how they made it so munk lives in a flat thats literally right by the junkyard. i find that a nice touch and fitting

i like the nuzzles <3 (furthermore i love how misto is so much taller than victoria so he has to bend down so far for a couple of those nuzzles)

i dunno, you can tell most of the people doing this were like really into it, like really loved doing this movie. like these performances are good, y’all! and like, these cats come across as so happy to hanging out and dancing and being together (for the most part, there is bickering and... cattiness too) that it’s like infectious. it makes me smile!

and there’s like a bagillion little things here and there that i like, like my list could go on even more. for example, shout out to that one cat that kept smiling when skimble was spinning upwards into the air (due to being kidnapped) probably under the assumption that skimble can just fucking do that djksakjdsa

so yeah i can’t exactly call this a Good Movie but i can genuinely call it a movie i enjoy, that i adore even, because i’ve never liked anything ironically in my life! also im autistic and this has become my special interest, so choo choo, this trains a chugging. i’m having a lot of fun, and i think that’s good enough

and i feel like it’s already on it’s way to becoming the world’s most expensive cult classic. like, friends getting together and watching it and having a good time, for one reason or another. and i like that. i hope in like 5 to 10 years time, people are gonna be endeared and nostalgic for cats 2019, cuz that’d be neat

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

for the otp game gimme the og pairing, kate and Matt Murdock c'mon u kno u want to

Getting back to my ROOTS love it

1. What was their first impression of each other?

“WHOMST this garbage can?” with a side of “oh no he’s hot” for Kate like, okay, it was more of a “oh you’re a COMPETENT garbage can” but still, a garbage can. 

2. What is their ship name?

Mattkate? amongst my various playlists and document names they are also “feathers and horns” and “evil eyes and daring dodos” “

3. Describe their relationship dynamic.

garbage just kidding. in a lot of ways they are opposites attracting--Kate is good with big plans but has trouble with details while Matt is ALL about details. Kate is a contingency planner, while Matt is more impulsive--at least when fighting crime. Kate has a LOT more practical experience than Matt does. That’s flipped in their romantic relationship--Matt’s more likely to slow play something or be cautious while Kate has a “ah fuck it” mentality. Go for broke, fix the damage later

4. What was their relationship like before they got together?

pftpfpfpf antagonistic but in a dumb way, like, both of them constantly spiritually eyerolling at each other but also secretly impressed with the other’s skill. they were weirdly touchy-feely with each other early on in their friendship, due to checking on each other’s injuries, etc (weird for them, not weird touching)

5. How would they describe each other?

they both think the other is reckless which all of their friends would think was hilarious if they all also didn’t have a stash of bloodstained towels that are Matt and Kate’s fault

Matt thinks Kate is one of the strongest people he’s ever met, and she’s...not forgiving, exactly, but always willing to give people a chance. he also thinks she’s really funny.

Kate describes Matt as simultaneously the smartest person she’s ever met and the dumbest person she knows. He’s brave, selfless to a fault, and has a “look at all the fucks i give” mentality that she really admires

6. What do they love about each other?

Matt loves Kate’s determination and her steadfastness. In a lot of ways, she’s easily distractible, terrible with time, but if she says she’s there for you, she’s there, no matter what.  She’s also not afraid to tangle with powerful people, so the have that in common,

Kate loves Matt’s “Stick it to the man” attitude, how deeply he cares for his friends, and that he’s normal, mostly, but saw a problem and decided to do something about it.

7. What do they have in common?

concussions

also looking at people they have no business tangling with and fucking with them anyway. 

8. What are some differences between them?

Kate is very aware that she’s human. This is something she’s aware of in fights and forgets after, so she’s bad at taking care of herself.

Matt knows he’s human and ignores this fact during fights but is VERY aware of after. So he makes sure Kate takes care of herself.

Matt also angsts a lot more than Kate about the morality and legality of vigilantism, whereas Kate’s been doing this since before she could vote so she’s kind of over it. Matt also has a lot more doubt over being a superhero and Kate’s all in. 

9. What made them realize they were in love?

they’ve lowkey been in love for most of their relationship, honestly, so for both of them it was a lot of little things building up over time. One morning Kate was tying Matt’s tie for court and he had a split lip--he was going over his opening statement, drumming his fingers on her hips and she just went ah. that’s what this feeling is. it wasn’t like, a startling revelation, just something that settled back in her gut, something that was always there.

Matt realized he loved Kate, like, truly madly deeply, one day listening to her snoring in the vents between his office and hers. Looking back, though, he thinks he first started falling in love with her when she threatened to get into a physical altercation with Stick

10. What are their love languages?

cuddling. they’re SUPER physically affectionate. or not even affection, just touching to check in on each other. 

they also bandage each other’s wounds

11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

i know nobody will believe me but I DON’T KNOW!!!! Because Kate doesn’t see the point but Good Catholic Boy Matt MUST GET MARRIED. Matt probably resigns himself to them never getting married and then Kate proposes to him after some fancy event--basically her in a full length evening gown on one knee (that pops very loudly) and Foggy whooping in the background. 

That, or one of them is hospitalized and there’s some Shenanigans with letting the other in and Matt’s like “never again. we’re getting married,” and Kate’s like “fine but we’re using my insurance” (while she’s hooked up to an IV and oxygen)

it’s the least romantic thing ever but both of them think it’s PEAK romance and get very sappy and emotional about it. Sister Maggie is over the moon. Father Latte is stoked. They are completely unaware of the fact that Kate actually has to be convinced to have a Cathoic-ish wedding, and that Clint is very upset he’s not allowed to perform the ceremony

Kate’s dress is fabrics Matt likes to listen to against her skin. Matt wears a burgundy tux with an arrow tie bar. 

12. What would happen if they never met? Matt’s life is the show, Kate probably winds up back in California. I hate to be like “Matt dies young” but that’s what happens, folks. 

13. Who dies first? How does the other one react? this isn’t real life. fuck death. also, considering Matt has been missing, assumed dead, i can say Kate reacts Not Well, takes down a drug smuggling ring, becomes invested in Frank Castle as a human person, (re)joins SHIELD, and teaches Karen self-defense (seriously, it’s like...a whole thing I started writing)

14. Are there any love rivals? Frank Castle, Elektra Natchios, and movie!Matt. Two of those have polyamory potential. one is just getting his ass kicked

15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

their UST cuddle sessions. where they’re like “we’re not cuddling” but they TOTALLY are

16. What do other characters think about this relationship?

mostly varying shades of “oh my god, they’re gonna die”. Most of their friends think it’s cute--Frank Castle doesn’t get it at all, Foggy sometimes wonders if Kate is a bad influence. Father Latte LOVES them together, can’t wait to marry them. Clint doesn’t think Matt’s good enough for Kate, but that’s pretty typical. 

17.Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

this is a post-midland scene where father latte yoinks Kate into the church

Sister Maggie glares and bitches—who knew nuns bitched?--but the other bed gets pushed up against Matt’s. Kate’s not entirely certain what Sister Maggie thinks is going to happen—Matt’s clearly not in any position to do much more than sleep and moan in misery—but the nun’s eyes soften a bit when she sees Matt’s hand still clasped between Kate’s.

“I’m not leaving him,” Kate repeats, aware that she’s starting to sound like a petulant child and not much caring.

It’s done, though, and Kate lays on her side, facing Matt and still holding his hand like it’s a lifeline. Exhaustion settles around her like a heavy blanket and Kate fights through it to wriggle just a little bit closer to Matt, close enough to press her forehead against his arm, remembering other times they’d slept like this that seem so long ago.

…

Matt doesn’t wake so much as he slowly drifts toward consciousness. There’s something different about it this time, something he can’t quite remember that makes him anxious and excited all at once.

Someone is holding his hand, something is warm all along his side, and even though his hearing is muffled, Matt can hear someone crying out.

He breaks the surface and gasps for air.

So much pain, his leg feels like it’s on fire and his skull feels two sizes too small and his ribs crackle with pain every time he breathes.

But something--

Someone is holding his hand, hugging his arm and he can’t smell or hear or taste but the calluses and the scars are familiar and Matt's heart leaps into his throat.

“Kate,” he croaks, squeezing at her hand while tugging at her arm. “Kate, it’s nightmare, wake up.”

Matt can’t even count on one hand the number of times that method of waking Kate up has worked, mostly because it never has, but this time, someone’s looking out for them because it does.

Kate jerks upright, her breath coming in sharp pants that echo in the silence, loud enough that even Matt can hear. Her hand tightens around his as she catches her breath, gulping in enough air to make a sad, heartbreaking little noise. “It’s real, you’re alive?”

Matt doesn’t respond because he’s using what little energy he has to reach for her with his free hand, his fingertips clumsily bumping against her cheek.

She makes that sad little noise again, one that Matt knows would rip right through him if he wasn’t already in excruciating pain.

She’s leaning over him, then, the tips of her hair brushing against his bare skin before she’s raining kisses on his face, light, gentle, sweet kisses.

This is familiar, Matt thinks, feeling like this might have happened a few hours earlier, before someone changed the room so she could lay down next to him.

He doesn’t know how to comfort her. Before—this, before everything, he would have listened to her heartbeat before deciding if he should ask her if she wanted pressure or space. And he would have either scooted to the far edge of the bed, or he would have rolled on top of her, setting his weight on her to keep her grounded and present.

18. Describe or write a really angsty scene!

sooo uhhh not strictly mattkate but from a wip where Matt doesn’t let Kate know he survived the explosion at midland and Kate stumbles into the punisher season 1 storyline uhhh i have nothing to say for myself

“He left me.”

“What?” Frank’s thunderous gaze is fixed on Kate now, and she falters under it.

“Matt. He, um. When he. At Midland,” she stumbles through the thought and Frank softens. “he didn’t just—I don’t know what Karen told you—he didn’t just die—he--he stayed. Her name was Elektra.” Kate takes a deep breath and it’s like she’s rehearsed this, how she would say it and the words come too easy.

“She was he ex-girlfriend, former love, from college. She came back into his life about the same time we met you. And it was rough, you know? They still had feelings for each other, but he picked me—or maybe he didn’t, maybe it was because she died and that made the choice for him. There’s a lot of magic bullshit in this story,” Kate answers Frank’s unspoken question. “And it was magic bullshit that brought her back to life, only not quite right. Not quite human. She’s who they were fighting at Midland.” Her eyes prickle hot with tears as she says the worst part, the part her mind worries like a dog with a bone when she can’t sleep at night. “He chose. To, to not let Elektra die alone, he chose her over me. He decided that life with me was worse than death with her,” and there it is, the whole ugly, painful truth,  I wasn’t enough, it was Elektra all along, and it burns the back of her throat, it constricts her chest. The tears burn tracks down her cheeks, cooling along her jaw. “I hate him. He made me believe—I thought what we had was real. I thought he loved me--”

Her voice breaks on a sob she can no longer contain, and all at once Frank surrounds her, his arms crushing her to his chest, his gentle shushing ruffling her hair. “Hey there, sweetheart, hey, it’s all right. He loved you, anyone could see that. He could have gotten trapped, could have gotten hit in the head, we don’t know.” His hands drag up and down her spine. “I’m right here, sweetheart, it’s okay.”

19. Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before. so it’s not exactly MattKate but Kate was married to America, once, in space, and they just...forgot to get divorced after they broke up. So there’s a whole thing with the three of them that involves Matt and America becoming really good friends--I mean, they both like punching stuff, that’s a solid basis for a friendship, right? And they get lunch every few months and Kate’s just like “why is my ex-wife texting you” and, of course, the “Kate and Elektra dated” headcanon, which dovetails really nicely with Matt/Kate/Elektra ot3. Kate and Elektra just sprawled on Matt’s couch asking him to bring them food because they’re heiresses they’re too pretty to get things themselves

20. What does a typical date look like for them?

Kate trying to keep Matt from listening for crime. Kate grilling Matt about the kitchen, Kate guessing the relationships of the other diners and Matt telling her if she’s right or wrong. Stopping a mugging on the way home and making out in an alley.

21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

WHOOPS MISSED THIS, but it’s the first time they take Fisk down. it was them working as a team, recognizing their romantic feelings, just. all around a good day. it’s an anniversary they celebrate every year

[the-everqueen]

why i disliked “the traitor baru cormorant”

so...recently i read Seth Dickinson’s The Traitor Baru Cormorant. i bought it thinking, Cool, an insightful fantasy series for me to get into while i wait to hear whether i passed my qualifying exams! i have some time before the semester starts! 

and then i absolutely hated it and spent every minute cataloguing what i thought Dickinson got wrong.

...uh, if you want to get the tl;dr of the liveblog i gave the gf, here’s the top three reasons i disliked this book:

1) not a fan of the “strong female character” trope

yes, Baru doesn’t sling around a sword or shoot arrows better than Anyone In The Whole World. but Dickinson IMMEDIATELY tells us (not shows, tells) that she’s good at math, she’s clever at picking apart strategic scenarios, she’s a savant. (tbh, i don’t love how he shows this, either, with the standard child-prodigy-who-catches-the-attention-of-a-powerful-adult trope.) in Dickinson’s crafted world, her math skills aren’t entirely unusual: women (for...some reason?) are stereotyped as being good at calculations, despite also being aligned with hysteria and too many emotions. this bothers me more than it’s probably supposed to, because the sexism in this novel doesn’t really seem to follow an internal logic. i guess it’s so we can have a woman as the protagonist? also...hoo boy...her “savant” characterization bothers me because...she’s heavily coded as South East Asian (...maaaybe Philippines or Native Hawaii, but as i’ll get to later, Dickinson doesn’t make a huge distinction). uh...model minority stereotypes anyone? yes, within the text, plenty of people associated with the Empire comment that it’s impressive someone of her background got into a position of power so young. at the same time, i’m sure that sounds familiar to so many Asian-identified people! the constant tightrope of being expected to perform to a certain (white, Western) standard while also being Othered. mostly this bothers me because Baru is also characterized as...a sellout for the Empire. sure, her stated goal is to undo the Empire from within, but [MAJOR SPOILERS] in the end it appears that her actual goal was to attain enough power that the Empire would let her be a benevolent dictator over her home island? and it’s only after a major PERSONAL betrayal that she revises this plan? [END SPOILERS] Baru also assimilates without much pain or sacrifice. she hardly ever thinks about her parents or her childhood home. she willingly strips herself of cultural signifiers and adapts to Empire norms (apart from being a closeted lesbian, which...yeah, i’ll get to that, too). and it’s not that Dickinson doesn’t TRY to make her a nuanced character, but...to me, it feels so painfully obvious that this is not his experience. it feels almost...voyeuristic. 

...much like his descriptions of wlw desire!

2) we get it, you read Foucault

the categories of sexual deviance are based entirely on a Western Victorian-era medical discourse around non-heterosexual forms of desire, but Dickinson ignores the network of sociocultural, religious, and historical contexts that contributed to that specific kind of discourse. he uses the terms “tribadism” and “sodomy” but those ideas CANNOT EXIST outside a Euro-American Christian context. yes, a huge part of the 19th century involved the pathologization of sexual and romantic desire (or lack thereof). but that in turn goes back to a history of medicine that relied on the “scientific method” as a means of studying and dissecting the human body--and that method in itself is a product of Enlightenment thinking. Theorist Sylvia Wynter (whomst everyone should read, imho) discusses how the Enlightenment attempted to make the Human (represented by a cisgender, heteronormative, white man) an agent of the State economy. every categorization of so-called deviance goes back to white supremacist attempts to define themselves as ‘human’ against a nonwhite, non-Christian Other. and IN TURN that was ultimately founded on anti-Black, anti-Indigenous racism. at this point it’s a meme in academic circles to mention Foucault, because so many scholars don’t go any further in engaging with his ideas or acknowledge their limits. but SERIOUSLY. Dickinson crafts the Masquerade as this psuedo-scientific empire that’s furthering erasure of native cultures, but...where did these ideas come from? who created them? what was the justification that gave them power? [MINOR SPOILER] blaming the Empire’s ideology on a handful of people behind the Mask who crafted this entire system makes me...uncomfortable, to say the least. part of what gives imperialism its power is that a lot of ordinary people buy in to its ideas, because it aligns with dominant belief systems or gives them some sense of advantage. 

also speaking of cultural erasure...

3) culture is more than set dressing

again, to reiterate: Baru does NOT think back to her childhood home for longer than a couple passing sentences at various points in the narrative. but even though the early chapters literally take place on her home island, i don’t get a sense of...lived experience. this is true of ALL of the fantasy analogues Dickinson has created in his Empire. i felt uncomfortably aware of the real world counterparts that Dickinson was drawing inspiration from. at the same time...there are basically no details to really breathe life into these various fantasy cultures. i HATE the trope of “fantasy Asia” or “fantasy Africa” or “fantasy Middle East” that’s rampant among white male sff writers. Dickinson does not get points from me for basically just expanding that to “fantasy South East Asia,” “fantasy Mongolia,” “fantasy South America,” and... “fantasy Africa,” plus some European cultures crammed in there. he’s VERY OBVIOUSLY drawing on those languages for names, but otherwise there’s no real sense of their religious practices, the nuances of their cultures, the differences between those cultures (besides physiological, which...oh god). part of that is probably supposed to be justified by “well, the Empire just erased it!!!” but that’s not an excuse imho. 

also...in making the Empire the ultimate signifier of the evils of imperialism...Dickinson kind of leans into the “noble savage” stereotype. Baru’s home island is portrayed as this idyllic environment where no one is shamed for who they love and gender doesn’t determine destiny and there are no major conflicts. (there is a minor nod to some infighting, but this is mostly a “weakness” that the Masquerade uses as an excuse to obliterate a whole tribe.) Dickinson justifies young Baru’s immediate assimilation as her attempt to figure out the Masquerade’s power from within, but given that the Masquerade presumably killed one of her dads and her mom maybe advocates a guerilla resistance...it’s weird that Baru basically abandons her family without a second thought. yeah, i get that she’s a kid when the Masquerade takes over the island, but...that’s still a hugely traumatic experience! the layers of trauma and conditioning and violence that go into this level of colonization are almost entirely externalized. 

(later it’s implied that Baru might qualify as a psychopath, and tbh that feels like an excuse for why we haven’t gotten any sense of her inner world, not to mention kind of offensive.) 

this isn’t exhaustive but...

it’s not that i don’t think white people shouldn’t ever address POC experiences in their books. just...if your entire trilogy is going to revolve around IMPERIALISM IS BAD, ACTUALLY, maybe you should contribute to the discourse that Black, Brown, and Indigenous authors have already done. reading this book made me so, so angry. i did not feel represented! i felt like i was being talked down to, both on a critical theory level AND on a craft level. there are SO MANY books by actual BIPOC and minority authors that have done this better. N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth Trilogy and her current Cities series. Nnedi Okorafor’s Binti trilogy. Leigh Bardugo’s Ninth House remains one of the more powerful novels i’ve read on how The System Is Out To Destroy You, That Is The Point. (Bardugo is non-practicing Spanish and Moroccan Jewish on one side of her family, and her character Alex is mixed and comes from a Jewish background!) 

...

there’s not really a point to this. i get a lot of people have raved about this book. good for them. if that’s you, no judgment. i’m not trying to argue IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU ARE PROBLEMATIC. i’m just kind of enraged that a white dude wrote about a Brown lesbian under a colonial empire and that THIS Brown lesbian under a colonial empire couldn’t even get behind the representation. also kind of annoyed that it’s the Empire of Masks and Dickinson either hasn’t read Fanon or didn’t see fit to slip in a Fanon reference, which like. missed opportunity. 

[radley-writes]

URGENT!!!

Help me name my idiot children!!

As some of you already know, I have eight new chooks (not all pictured here). They are very small. They are very floofy. They are very, VERY stupid. 

Do they regularly get lost behind their own box? Yes. Do they scream at their own reflections? Absofuckinglutely. Do I love them with all my heart? Oh, you bet.

Important notes:

We have 0 idea who’s a cock and who’s a hen, as they haven’t developed secondary sexual characteristics yet. So don’t worry about ‘male’ or ‘female’ names! We’re totally down with a cock called Karen or whatevs

Names we’ve had for chickens past: Attila the Hen, Vlad the Impeckler, all of the Spice Girls, most of the GoT characters

Some ideas I have been pecking at: Joan Craw-ford, Count Cluckula, Cheeky Bantam With The Lads (CBWL for short)

Puns are encouraged, if not demanded outright

A gallery of tiny imbeciles under the cut

1) Tortoiseshell the First.[LUKE SKYSQUAWKER]

Wyandotte. I may or may not have two pictures of this floofster here, because they’re practically identical to their sibling. Part 1 of the Terrible 2. Bright orange feetsies because Vogue

2: The Chonkster [KYLO HEN]

Lorgest of the lads (or lasses). Was supposed to be a grey silkie. Is resolutely NOT grey, or a silkie. Bright orange bandit mask, propensity for crimes. Has been witnessed snatching food directly from smaller chooks’ beaks. A menace, cannot be contained

3: bebbe [R2PEEP2]

Lavender pekin. The smollest chook you will ever see. Half the size of the Bad Boy above. Soft darling, very chill. I could pet their butt fluff for hours. I cannot express how smol this bebbe is - the picture doesn’t do their tininess justice - but my adoration & affection for them know no bounds

Also they pooped on my leg

4: excuse my knickers [CHICKBACCA]

Can the REAL grey silkie PLEASE STAND UP

They’re a cloud of softness. N#1 choice if we run out of toilet paper [obligatory Covid19 joke - CHECK]

4: bandy-legs [C-CHEEP-E0]

The second lavender pekin. They have a stance like a cowboy who just swaggered off a horse after a three-day ride. Peak waddling content. Ducklings whomst??

5: O, worm? [OBIWAN HENOBI]

Black-mottled pekin. This wee fella just!!! Loves!!!!!!! Hands!!!!!!!!!! First to hatch, first to eat, first to mistake fingers for food. When you reach into the cage, they run out for pets - but it’s actually just a cunning trick to lure your fingers closer!!! Mwahahahahaa!!!!!! Bitch u just got PECKED

#fingersarefriendsnotfood

6: [The Great Escape theme plays in the background] [HEN SOLO]

Black-mottled pekin. Will attempt to fly, despite having 0.5 cm of wing. Will jump out of the cage and onto your lap when you open the door. Will wiggle out of your hands and run off to explore. Strong likelihood of pooping in displeasure when recaptured.

8: Tortoisehell the Second (or first??? We just don’t know) [PRINCESS LAY-ER]

Wyandotte. Has yet to distinguish themselves from their sibling, except that ONE of them is exceedingly noisy. 

Is this the lad that loves to yell? Is it the fool scampering away in the background? :shrug emoji:

(Was it Mungojerry, cheeping at supersonic pitch at 3am??

Or Ruuuuuuuumpleteaser???

and most of the time // we leave it at that)

Any ideas are welcome!!

[itsdappleagain]

My theories proven/disproven/thoughts, and thoughts on the trailer.

1. Looking for Vera will be the season goal. Well...its seems to be a goal, but it all seems to be building up to stealing/trying to steal the crown jewels.

2.  Carmen’s love interest will me made clear: Julia, Graham, or no one. Well, since neither of them were in the trailer at all!!!!!!! I don’t know. Could, still, be misdirection (Again with the SPOP S5 observation I made)

3. Zack will get an episode where he saves the day. Well, we don’t see him alone in the trailer at all, only helping out with ground support and (possibly) finding Carmen or something? Unknown

4. Julia will take initiative over Devineaux. WELL SINCE SHE DIDN’T SHOW UP IN THE TRAILER and Devineaux did-! I don’t know. Could be misdirection..

5. More ACME-centric. Mmmmm. Seems like the same balance, VILE showing up maybe even a bit more.

6. VILE will take more of a backseat; however, the fewer attacks we’ll have will be more ferocious. Still yet to be seen, but I don’t think so. 

7. VILE House Hunters. Maybe for a little bit, but it looks like they settle down in some unknown castle. You know. Discreetly.

8.  Roundabout content! We’ll see him in action. Yes yes yes! Totally more Roundabout in S3!

9. As much as I would love more info on Player, I don’t think we’re going to get much/any. Remains to be seen (we did get some info on his family in Secrets of the Silver Lion, though!)

10. Maybe some background on Chief? Unknown.

11. Based on the end of the Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper, ACME will interact with Graham. Again, unknown, but maybe this is why he wasn’t in the trailer...

12. Julia and Carmen will have a different sort of relationship after Stockholm/the hack. *Inhales* WELL

13. Hoping for some silly Shadowsan-Zack ninja training. Unknown again, but this season does seem more focused and serious.

14. Based on the flag teaser from Twitter, I’m hoping we’ll get an episode in Venice. (However, they already did have one in Milan..) Yes! Yes! Yes! Pretty sure that was Venice in the trailer! Yesssssss

15. Hoping for some more angst, as both VILE and ACME’s main directives are now taking Carmen down. *Glances at Carmen getting electrocuted into unconciousness and nearly getting hit by a car and gettig bola’d to a pole and fighting a bunch of people* so

16. Based on 15, maybe Carmen gets captured? This could also be Zack’s big moment, or a turning point for, perhaps, Julia or Graham (if he were to be recruited). So, maybe. Maelstrom says “Who will escort our little lost sheep back to VILE?”. Also, again, electrocuted into unconsciousness.

17. Counting on a small return/mention of the Duke, as he was mentioned in passing in the Need for Speed Caper. Unknown.

18. More. Fancy. Outfits. OH MY GOD I AM LIVING FOR THAT STAR OUTFIT JDJHHHHHH

19. El Topo and Le Chevre...doesn’t everyone want them to get together? weLL since they weren’t in the TRAILER

20. Vera Cruz...I don’t know if they will find her, or if she’ll be alive. To add such a potentially important character in S3, especially after Shadowsan, might be strange. Unknown again; though who is that buff lady who kicks the crap out of Brunt? Hmmmm

21. Building on 20, maybe Carmen will have a “my team is all the family I need” moment. Sounds like she’s still very adamant about finding her, from sneaking in to wherever to Ivy telling her they’ll find her

22. Hoping for some cool, deadly new operatives! Yeah!!!!!!!! Flytrap and Spinkick, plus electrocution lady, and perhaps a few others. (Also, lots of Neal, it seems!)

23.  Return of Mime Bomb. Yeppers yeppers yeppers!

24. Perhaps a stuck-together-for-survival situation (either Team Red-ACME, TR-VILE, or VILE-ACME). Didn’t see a hint of anything like that, but who knows.

25. I know we all want backstory for Ivy and Zack, but they got their little moment in S2, and their “family over career” moment. WELL- who was that lady? The one who sounds like Ivy, then Ivy-Julia, then Julia. You know the one. Maybe she’s family to them?

26. However, maybe Chase’s backstory? It seems to be quite a popular theory that he used to smoke (hence the mints). Maybe this will cause us to be more symathetic to him. Unknown again.

OKAY, MISC. THOUGHTS ON THE TRAILER!

-Again, yay glasses zack!

-Hideo! Hideo’s back and helping! It seems he was either wearing a mask or helping steal one.

-Pirate hat Carmen!

-I am in love with all the masks

-Wrestling lady!? Whomst!?

-The guy talking to Tigress was at C Cleo’s dinner party. The painter, I think.

-Spinkick and Flytrap seem pretty cool, actually. 

-Carmen’s reflexes seem so slow? She couldn’t avoid the loud whistling bola that tied her arm to the pole or think to drop (if possible) the thing that was electrocuting her into unconsciousness

-WOW That car did not slow down or anything, just honked

-Again! The star outfit! Oh my goodness gracious!

-Hey! Tigress and Paper Star working together, that’s going to be really interesting!

-Mime Bomb finally learned how to run

-Suit Chase is not horrible. I’m not thrilled. But its not horrible.

-”You care too much.” WHO ARE THE ROSES FOR SCREAM

-Most impossible heist keeps coming up. Again, like many, I think its the crown jewels.

-Hahah Zari looks so done when Carmen just zooms past

-ACME Graham is totally something I want to see. Maybe thats why we don’t get many ACME clips. Maybe he’s partnered with Julia...

Very very excited!!!!!!!! Its not what I was expecting but I’m very anxious to see how it goes. October 1 can not come soon enough! That was a really long rant and lots of stuff but I’m reallly really excited really really