#oh but bc it’s out off network but all he’s ever told me was send an itemized bill

[eyes-like-the-night]

I spent the past few years trying to have a better relationship with my dad and it’s currently absolutely in shambles

(My mom is kinda thriving though because she hates my dad and I get it now so when I’m really frustrated she listens and reminds me that yeah he hasn’t changed since she divorced him)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

These people will never experience the pain hearing from the causal viewers and THE SR that we who view those characters as queer, are delusional. We were told, it’s in “our heads” and what you see “is your interpretation” NOT what’s on the script. OH CANT FORGET MY FAVORITE, “go write your own SHOW”. Imagine for 6 years viewing buck as queer coded and told you were dumb and “it’s never gonna happen”. For 6 YEARS!!!! It literally took them ONE EPISODE AND MOVING TO A NEW NETWORK for bibuck to happen. And these people think this couple who ONLY HAD 3 dates (1 of them a failed one), and 2 kisses is endgame? 💀💀💀imagine your ship not having any depth to where they stopped caring about them after making buck bi💀💀💀. Where are their scenes? Oh it’s “enjoy it while it lasts”. It’s them having barely 20 minutes of screen while the “non ship” has x2 has much in 10 episodes. Did they forget their fav said this💀💀💀💀

💯no notes agree with everything you said 👏👏👏

and also even that lfj quote pissed me off when it came out bc i was like “how are you gonna stand here and tell me to be grateful for a relationship that came out of left field with no chemistry?” like even if it does lead to buddie i will still hate that whole arc because it could have been handled SO much better and without bringing back a racist character, played by a problematic person, ON TOP of causing the biggest shipping controversy to ever hit this fandom… that man has given me the ick since day one of s7 and when the cameos started and he started encouraging his fans and egging on the bullshit i was done w him.

it pisses me off bc they act like buck has to go through some sort of “queer bootcamp” before he can date eddie and im like…. no he doesn’t?? he doesn’t need some sort of “gay yoda” or whatever they called t-rex in the beginning bc there is no rulebook to being queer… so the whole notion of “working out the kinks” (which is an extra level of icky coming from someone like lfj, and looking back after the daddy joke in 7x10) never sat right with me… and the whole “what if buck got with eddie and didn’t like it?” if he meant that literally as “what if buck didn’t like it” my brother in christ theses are fictional characters, they’re not sims, the writers have full control over literally everything that happens… why would they write them if buck “wasn’t gonna like it” (which is bullshit bc we all know he 1000% fold immediately if eddie kissed him)… if he meant “what if the fandom didn’t like it” (which is an odd way to word that question if this is what he meant) WDYM IF THE FANDOM DOESNT LIKE IT EVEN HALF THE BT SHIPPERS HAVE BEEN SHIPPING BUDDIE FOR ALMOST SIX YEARS????

the whole situation drives me up s wall bc not only have we simultaneously gotten so close yet so far to getting buddie, we also now have to deal with these wack-ass fans policing people, calling queer people homophobic, sending death threats and violent hate speech to people who don’t like their ship, actively talking bad about oliver bc he clearly isn’t a fan of lfj or the way this storyline was handled, on top of having to deal with the show’s retconning of typhoid’s character and trying to brush his shit under a rug using queerness as an “excuse” and thus enabling these people to use the “homophobia” rhetoric when someone doesn’t want a boring ass rewash basic ship.

[raitnrong]

ive been so tempted to make my own geeta post ever since ive written down this one response on an analysis on her. i've actually come to make my own conclusions abt her character while making and it's making me go '???' at all the apparent hate on her.

genuinely i rly do just want to know what piece i've missed abt her dialogue that's gotten the ppl against her buzzing

i in fact do think that geeta is a great top champion! she conducts check-ins w the gyms, has gotten herself involved in the proceedings of the school (a great thing to have done as a top champion btw, recognizing it's important to be updated and engaged in paldea's new generation), and takes her role as the top champion very seriously! (so srs that she's caught onto nemona's need to be able to battle at her fullest when she'd had her exam)

she may have had her flaws like being meddlesome n a bit careless at times (like sending the player to larry w/o a head-up on his part|| a lot of ppl hate this, however this could be construed like she trusts larry to be able to handle such matters instead. depending on ur outlook)

but overall she looks like she does her job w grace. n everyone is flawed?? tho yes it's not an excuse when it comes to having responsibilities as big as hers, but even in a professional light she's not so egregious as to receive the amount distrust she has

a lot of ppl in game hold her in high esteem-- larry is snappy at her yes but why the hell is that suddenly made to define her character? "oh, larry has something going on w geeta n that is but a seed as to why she's fishy as hell!" like??

im p sure larry doesnt even hate her guts! like yes there's dislike there but is larry rly full of loathing so as to have to constantly 'go against the world' bc of his job n his boss? yes his dialogue abt normal types n ppl expecting flashy things were remarkable. but in the context of pokemon? as if id actually believe that!!

(normal types have their own strengths, they're not run-of-the-mill. they don't shine just because "they don't shine". normal pokemon are awesome for being normal pokemon period! it's a type like any other is. not to say his philosophy abt liking a pokemon is any less valid! gym leaders find their types due to many motivations)

anyway getting off topic hahah, larry could just be grumpy in general. so where does ppl get the idea that it makes geeta evil...

is it the design huh. look deep in urself and be honest ,':T

one point btw on how geeta is in fact clever and heartful (that shes not some power-crazed harpy and but is simply engaged in her work) is this point i made abt geeta's decisions with penny.

now if u recall, penny hacked the league in order to be able to reward the player for putting up w cassiopeia's operations

when she told clavell, he said it was out of his jurisdiction n that the decision was to rest on geeta.

and what did geeta do?

she CHOSE to be lenient w penny by instead having her work off her debt to the league by having her improve their cyber networks.

a hobby that penny already does and likes btw! she could have been further expelled or sent off like last time, but instead, geeta's choice was to allow penny the chance to face the consequences of her actions by having penny use her talents as she'd recognized it. geeta didn't see an opportunity for punishment but instead she chose growth.

for her, it'd come to light that they now had two problems: a child facing massive trouble for what is the equivalent of govt.theft and the league's shoddy security. and then she sought a solution that solves both in the most holistic and frickin' effective way possible! wow! it's insane!

she's not taking advantage of penny, it was her intervention of helping her >:T

im sure even penny appreciated her penalty bc she's mature enough to recognize what she's done wrong, does have knack for tech, and she knows she's helping paldea in return w her IT direction (and she's a good kid!)

--hc timee: now imagine nemona and penny bonding over their admiration for la primera as her helpers pls :))--

i would love to hear the points against her other than hcs tho! i may have missed something from the game bc rly i was more tuned to the trio's arcs (esp nemo's) rather than the adults' characters (except for clavell)

but srsly y would ppl hope that there's an agenda ruining scarvi's experience w paldea. tho yes leaders r in the risk of turning corrupt, the fact that there'a no direct text on pkmn is already a testament as geeta's quite clean now.

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 15 notes

Ok true crime as in my new addiction is true crime podcasts specifically about serial killers

Back to the session

 After getting a bit of a reality check from durnan about the supposed strength and power of the xanathar guild…

Protected our home w glyphs of warding

Last day of our contract

Spell is set to fade soon

Asyna is feeding ot

Ot looks at asyna like he's a cornered animal

"ot here's some meat"

Why is krystal roasting me about my lover

He wants poison

Ot is calling his jailers idiotic

Oh no aerana might be spilling beans

I really shouldn't be allowed to play games

Because I will always turn to the chaotic evil character

Aerana isn't giving anything up

Theo tells us about the plumbers who came over last night

Aerana is going to typ, rest of party is staking out house

Shifts to watch ot, adam takes front, asyna tower lookout (it's foggy tho so perception check at disadvantage, 9; city looks a little eerie in the fog)

Cel puts immovable rod across cellar door

Ot is suspicious whenever cel comes in

"you cannot fool me xanathar"

Cel making theo a new cloak

Ot asks cel when he'll turn him into dust

The xanathar can turn ppl into dust

Flare ?

Is flare the brain boy ?

I don't like the energy we've created around the word "enlightenment"

Cel rolls 18 insight check

Ot doesn't think cel is cel

Cel is gonna just vibe witth him

"WHEN U SLAY ME I WILL THINK NOTHING BUT HATEFUL THOUGHTS"

Sorry didn't mean caps but too lazy to fix

Everyone else

Adam in front hissing at neighbors and cats, 7

Hears pavement scuffle, someone approaches and reddish gtray beard person w non-descript gray cloak approaches; trench

Doesn't remember cellar and plumbers guild coming by night before

Trench says he can help

Help get bar open

Used to drink there a lot

Gets parchment and quill with ink

Rolls insight to see if bar was only thing he wasd interested in, 13, trench seems v interested

Works in surveillance, protection

Gives him cel and theo's name "5 copper please"

Gets 5

Adam picks his nose

Theo patrols entrances

13 for perception

Overlaps path w adam's

Aerana to typ

Afternoon when there

Similar pattern to those there; frequent patrons

"if I'm making up words, it's not really hitler"

8 perception

Place feels open, not as packed as it usually is

Still feel sensation of cold from the well

Wizard w pointy red hat a regular

You see goliath wizard talking to a dwarven woman

Aerana sees an elven man (bard) w "ugliest guy you've seen in your goddamn life" dom says but only after we point out he looks like legolas, tuning a lute

Sense you've seen him before

The wellllllllllllllllll

It is better told by a bard

Some patrons old and strange, others just like to drink

But ritual in the storytelling

Durnan built

Gwyliam

Talking in elvish

Place formerly not too populated

But one of durnan's ancestors came over to build upon it and discovered the well

Network of tunnels underneath

20 for history check

Familiar with some of what he's saying

Parents would throw you into the undermountain if you were bad

Undermountain = stirs weird memory in your head

Being told as a child stories of undermountain

Deep dark fearsome place

Mt waterdeep wizard came here once named hallister the black cloak

Hallister - ppl don't know where he was from / if he was real but legendary

Brought apprentices trained in magical arts

Tunneled on peak of mt waterdeep

Legend of undermountain could not be verified as truth

Durnan's ancestor came to typ

Climbed into well

"I wouldn't bring this up around him" - doesn't talk abt

When ancestor returned was fabulously rich

Split money with best friend

Built typ

Occasionally engages in ritual of going

No one truly knows what lies in undermountain but there's something there bc some return but most do not

"it might just be the sewer" - "but don't tell anyone I said that"

Differing renditions

Some say durnan was the one with magical powers and killed everyone in there, or more nuanced speaking only of tragedy of those who return who come back fearful or returning with smaller parties; others talk more of hallister and argue over his life; every night a different story

Ask if he knows anyone who's come back

Gestures to half-orc in corner playing variation of solitaire; great celebration when he returned, he came back with riches

He is a regular

21 history check

Undermountain

Familiar name

"Deepest dungeon of them all"

When sewers were built many passages abandoned bc other halls + passages found, many teams from cellars and plumbers guild died during construction of the sewers

Prisoners often thrown into "undermountain"

Says even tho he's here most days there's still stuff he doesn't understand about it; new community reforged every night

At some point durnan talking to wizard and having a conversation which is odd ? Eventually wizard looks at aerana (old man) skinny pointy red hat

Wizard squinting at aerana then turns back to conversation

Try talking to half-orc

Interesting plated beard almost like that on dwarves wrt ornamentation; jewelry running through it

Wiry half-orc

Not skinny but muscled

Weird tattoos covering one side of his face looking like they change a little bit

Balanced a little precariously

Ask if he wants to play a two-person card game bc he's playing solitaire

Ask for his favorite game, Skipper (slapjack)

Dexterity check

5, 20, 10

First round you lose, his fingers have strange looking rings beautiful but rough-worn bands of steel or other heavy metal

Second you win

Third round he takes

"say not many people can beat me in that game"

"luck favors the bold"

In the well

Hell but now look at him can gamble all he wants

City of balder's gate

Large city rough place to grow up

Turned into rough child living on streets

Says his name is Sand

Balder's gate warlords make life difficult so he decided to leave

Was found in youth by someone who turned his anger into smth holy

Ran into thieves and plunderers of forgotten relics, became brother and sister and decided to take on deepest dungeon of them all

Horrible things - asks if you've heard the song

The yawning portal song

Not many people know the full tale

Was taught to be skeptical (it's in his nature or maybe his name)

Not sure how long he was in there or didn't know when he was in there

No light

Tunnels are confusing and without it would've been lost; found room with throne with snakes for arms

Great hallway with ancient trap

Living things also in there; all manner of beasts and creatures; ppl don't come back bc of those

Killed goblins down there but after the things he's seen and after the things he'd had to do could've gone with killing a few more goblins

Advice ? Some will sell maps of what they found or what they think they've seen; anyone can tell u abt beasts down there

Durnan wouldn't lower us down

Durnan doesn’t send ppl to their deaths

Durnan lowers people he deems worthy

Strong brave smart fast bold enough or some combo

But even then not everyone comes back

It's a place of death

Not buying him lunch lmao

Has broken into dangerous old elf dungeons like in the ones up north and would do it again if he could unsee some of the things he saw down in the well

A place of death but things move in the shadows w tombs down there and tunnels for miles hallways great and tall, treasures, beasts keeping it for themselves

Ask about tattoos

Gift from master

The person who saved him in balder's gate

Steeped in magic of shadows

Powerful bc he is strong but qi is stronger still

Aerana gets back home but starts to rain heavily

Ppl still patrolling

Adam

Sees drow ? W purple colored eyes silver-ish hair hiding weapons under his cloak steps up and says "pardon me" and asks if adam's seen a cat

Large cat - would've know if saw it

Adam sends drow to trench

Adam gives him good up and down look, can he see weapons ? Carrying two cinotaurs ??? Sinotaur ???? Adam rolls insight for cat

14, seems like he's talking abt a cat

Heads off to trench

Asyna in watchtower guessing ppl's names

Cel and theo switch

Theo says hi to ot, ot curled up in corner

Whispers "hey ot what's up"

Says he should've gone with his gut on the day theo arrived

"dark elegance" "the way you glided into the room" - ot on theo

Ot says he knows how the xanathar pays theo

"I guess seeing you was a realization of my deepest fear" a fear he couldn't name or place or knew he had but out of the darkness theo stepped forward

"I'm curious . How long do you leave your victims like this"

Ot starts to cry and says he would beg her to keep him in this place

"this voice you're using I find it sweet"

"I just don't want to wake up before the end"

Theo is gonna get him food

"the poor dead tiefling told me yesterday"

7 insight

Theo does not know what's happening

Says the water theo gives him looks real

Looks at the wall drinks some water

"and it tastes real"

We kinda fucked ot up LMAO OOPS

"I know that you don’t have a heart… but if there's any chance that anything I've ever said or thought about you could take root in your soul"

Theo says she'll consider his request

Sits there for a half hour then asks if that's her real name

"nithlur" or smth like that

Nihloor

"where'd you hear that"

In his head lmao

What if this is like

A tapeworm

In his head

"what does knowledge taste like"

Asks if it's a feeling or a thought

Theo says it's a feeling

Ot says whatever knowledge is it's valuable to the right thing

Wonders if he can take a nap

Gonna take a nap

Adam forgot he made ott think he was dead

Aerana is taking over for theo

Adam takes first watch

Perception check, 22

Raining ohp so at disadvantage gotta do it again

New roll, 12

Rain is still falling

Hears a weird noise coming from outside the house

Uses thaumaturgy to boom voice saying "wake up"

Everyone sleeping wakes up

Goes toward sound

Hears weird growling noise

Goes semi-toward noise w pyrotechnics prepared; darkvision does he see anything

Sees shape

It's not the cat

Unfamiliar, looks like it's flying but more like it's floating

Bobbing up and down in air

Creature w large glassy eye and sagging mouth w lots of sharp teeth

Sticking out from form are eyes attached to a slug protruding off it w glassy eyes hanging off it

Intense stench making icky moaning noise

Adam shits his pants

It's big

The size of its mouth is human size

I've been listening to serial killer podcasts all day

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

the larger courier six verse, media influences

tagged by @sybil-writes ty

the bibliography for this thing is extensive. my taste is wide and omnivorous. i try to drop what i was thinking about when i wrote a particular bit into the author’s notes, and i think i’ve credited all the direct references, but I consume a lot of dystopia and post-apoc media and harder scifi/fantasy with rules, and i don’t keep an accurate running list of shit I like, so i’m certainly not going to get everything in one post. this is mostly me looking at the very limited number of books i have with me and frantically looking at wiki lists like “yes read that liked that stole that”. if i link everything i will die. if you have trouble finding a specific thing lmk tho. this feels real goddamn pretentious like Ah Yes Look At The Media I Have Consumed but here goes 

music: one of these days I will drop links to the network of playlists I have for these kids, but they’re all of Spotify and not super accessible. Danger Days, a post-apoc desert graffiti/neon/cars album by My Chemical Romance. the soft, nonsense love songs off Pretty. Odd by P!ATD. the poppy but sad neon bullshit of Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die also a P!ATD production. Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier, specifically Talk and Dinner & Diatribes. Halsey’s cover of I Walk The Line, Rihanna’s Desperado. Everything by Orville Peck but mostly Roses Are Falling and Take You Back (The Iron Hoof Cattle Call). Instrumental stuff: the opening to Silverado, the Billy the Kid musical, bits of Lawrence of Arabia. It’s Been A Long, Long Time. Fitz & The Tantrums’ Get Away. Mother Mother’s album O My Heart. Gorillaz’ Plastic Beach. 

filme: 

the Dollars trilogy ofc

the sheer bullshit nonsense of Wild Wild West and Blazing Saddles and Turbokid. 

a lot of the interaction between many characters in a tight space from Stagecoach. my dad really loves John Wayne, so I am constantly thinking about Monument Valley even though that’s nowhere near the Mojave. honestly whenever i’m thinking about how to describe landscapes I’m thinking about The Searchers, even though I have a lot of problems with that film. 

the colorful nonsense future of The Fifth Element. 

the gritty self-surgery and prospecting of Prospect (2018). 

SO much Trigun and Cowboy Bebop, for space western flavor and the same sort of analog-cassette-future. u kno how everything in Star Wars looks like it’s been there forever? the absolute opposite of a slick Apple future? that. 

god I wish Firefly was...good

Akira, bc every time I think about motorcycles the Akira motorcycle slide gif plays in my head. 

speaking of which probably a decent chunk of Adventure Time, esp the Super Porp episode. 

a smidge of how a platonic trio works from Samurai Champloo. 

anything with a big sprawling market and a chase scene, even though the only things I can think of are Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and the first Indiana Jones. oh Skyfall also

the set dressing from Tank Girl

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. look I just really like airships and retrofuturisum but art deco

honestly a lot of Ghibli- the aviation fantasy of Porco Rosso, the gardens from Castle In The Sky, a lot of Sophie Hatter energy from Howl’s Moving Castle, the underground bits in Nausicca, the otherworldly sea from Ponyo (except the Fallout sea is probably much emptier). the lovely homey-ness and gadgetry of Sherlock Hound. 

almost certainly some Metropolis for how I think about cities

thinking a lot about The Incredibles and earlier James Bond movies recently for that sort of sleek but still small physical gadget spycraft 60s bullshit

the team and found family dynamics in Leverage

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. the more recent film which I have stolen ENTIRELY too much of the Angel + Blondie + Six dynamic from 

mad max: all of them, to some extent, but a lot of Fury Road. I have a theory about how the Dollars films take place in reverse order, bc of how they feel next to the Mad Max films. The first Mad Max film is about a specific person in a specific place and time doing really specific things. it feels like a movie made off the info of someone who was there. GBU also feels like that- it’s really place-specific in a way? The second Mad Max film is a little hazier, and focuses on mostly people trying to accomplish a goal. For A Few Dollars More also feels a little hazier, like it’s a little more metaphorical/a morality tale and it’s being told by someone heavily embellishing secondhand events. the third Mad Max movie is just over the top nonsense. feral children living in the wreckage of an old plane escaping in a working plane? sure. why the fuck not. For A Fistful Of Dollars also feels like this. of COURSE this big bad gunslinger drifts into town and escapes in a coffin and invents the bulletproof vest. why the fuck not. 

books: i like shit that goes beyond the wander/scrounge/defend trio of verbs. 

the trying to wrap your life around a huge unknowable event from Roadside Picnic, 

too much Le Guin and Butler to really fit here, 

god if anything i write ever has a tenth of the flavor of Kill Six Billion Demons i’ll be happy, 

the postwar feel of Vonnegut and Heller,

Margaret Atwood’s biopunk Oryx and Crake trilogy 

the incredibly sad decaying biopunk/mutation/last days novelette The Drowned World by JG Ballard. 

the space-opera political machinations from the Ancillary trilogy by Ann Leckie. 

World War Z’s accounts of survivors has always felt like reading terminal entries from Fallout games. 

Philip Reeve’s Fever Crumb trilogy, for its interpretation of high-tech artifacts and archaeological reinterpretation of those artifacts. 

Tales of the Bounty Hunters. Tales from Jabba’s Palace. 

A Canticle for Leibowitz of COURSE. 

the original three books in the METRO (2033, 2034, 2035) trilogy, for their tight dense locations and resource management and life-threatening travel/exploration. 

the Family Trade comic by Jordan & Ryan, for setting and intrigue and a very unorthodox power source  

Elizabeth Bear’s short story And The Deep Blue Sea, about a different kind of courier. 

how Gibson’s The Sprawl trilogy (a trilogy i have MANY opinions about, not all of them positive) does worldbuilding when it implies a vast sprawling richly imagined world with casual in-universe references that you can extrapolate a lot from.  

The Gernsback Continuum, for making me think about stranded architectural bits that survived

a little bit of the Empress’ energy from Cavendish’s The Blazing World. 

the short story The Rational Ship by Caro Clarke, about a ship that runs on orgasms, from the EXTREMELY out of print Memories and Visions: Women’s Fantasy and Science Fiction edited by Susanna J. Sturgis. i’ve scanned it in as a pdf and will send it to anyone who asks. the stories in this volume are WILDLY varying in quality and terf-yness. i would not buy this book on purpose. 

i think each separate Vault storyline is a tiny separate Lost World story, so just pick your favorite and insert it here. 

Westerfeld’s Leviathan trilogy was FORMATIVE for baby me. biopunk! big trans energy! SKY WHALES 

fucking hate  Paolo Bacigalupi for what he does to his female characters but Ship Breaker was good from what I remember of it

there are three very oblique Sherlock Holmes references in “blow a kiss, fire a gun” for my own amusement. 

Fallout scifi seems to be very Verne and Wells and Burroughs derived? a lot of very pulpy  “pseudojournalistic realism to tell an adventure story with little basis in reality.” or “hey look at this COMPLETE NOVEL i found in a bottle by the sea OR locked in my weird great-uncle’s things, i shall retell it to you here” 

idk i think The Road and the Hunger Games have so profoundly shaped the state of the genre, there’s probably at least a little bit of both these things in here even if I didn’t particularly like either of them. There’s also a lot of super bleak post-war stuff I read but am not necessarily incorporating, like Nevill Shute’s On The Beach. probably some Dune in here too if i’m being totally honest. why have a desert if there’s not going to be a giant worm, Fallout: New Vegas???

jesus i gotta read more lady authors. there are probably way more that i’m not remembering bc almost all the books i own are in a storage unit seven hours away that i haven’t touched in three years. there are probably way more comics also. 

OH not a book but the decaying-rich-people-paradise of Bioshock. pity how they never made a third game 

[foxghost]

hi here’s another instalment of “I stayed up too late reading 鎮魂, edition chapter 13 - 26

Zhu Hong spends maybe 3 days a month being half snake (anaconda?). She keeps raw sliced meat in the office freezer, thaws it out in the microwave and “eats them like potato chips”

She also has snake pupils and a snake tongue. /this novel has all your monster needs

Zhu Hong: if you’re willing to sleep with me one night, I’d work for free Zhao Yunlan (totally seriously): …really? Zhu Hong: … (can’t believe he’s actually considering it)

The “black cloak envoy” in the show is named one-who-slay-souls in the book, and is exponentially more terrifying

take what prisoners? Send whom to jail? kills all the things

Zhao Yunlan: he’s kind of nice actually, but talks like an academic, uses too many words to say one thing

A “hungry ghost” is a shadow that is thin all over except for the stomach, with a mouth that opens 180 degrees, with arms like a mantis

Shen Wei’s first reaction on seeing it is to pick up a chair and BASH IT UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING

Shen Wei: shocked face that the cat is talking Daqing: Yes right but you just broke the head of a hungry ghost with a chair so why are you even shocked

Guo (repeats in his head): I am a cop Guo: is crying uncontrollably * Guo (to Shen Wei): I haven’t even had my first month’s salary — can’t i even SEE the money I won’t live to spend before i die? Shen Wei says nothing to this because laughing at him is probably improper Guo: Does professor Shen have wishes that has not been fulfilled? Shen Wei: Yes Shen Wei: There is a person, we are mere acquaintances, we have no relationship at all, in his heart, I am but a stranger he has spoken to a couple of times. But I still want to see him once more.

with a hungry ghost scratching at the door and Daqing promising rescue by Yunlan Shen Wei: Don't we have ways to save ourselves? Daqing: this is us — a common person, a garbage person, a vegetative person, and me — a lucky charm. Oh, ‘save ourselves’ you say. Do you think if we go into a hot steam wok, it would be enough to fill the gaps between a hungry ghost’s teeth?

amidst all this chaos, Guo is climbing Shen Wei’s leg bc he’s terrified, and Shen Wei’s priority is to HOLD HIS PANTS UP.

Lin Jing is … a monk? (fake monk, according to Yunlan)

Lin Jing: there are two men and a cat in there Yunlan: no way, Shen Wei wouldn’t abandon his student Lin Jing: … who is this Shen Wei Yunlan: mumbles nobody important Lin Jing: You only ever do that when you meet a beauty — is this Shen Wei a man or a woman? Yunlan: buddhist chant

when the hungry ghost is sucking up all the air + souls in a room, guo screams: I’m going to be sucked up!

and then somehow has the wherewithal to make up metaphors: i’m going to be sucked up like jello from a vacuum bag!

Yunlan cuts the energy between hungry ghost and guo, and guo starts falling — onto Shen Wei. Naturally, Yunlan rushes forward and catches Shen Wei into his arms and let Guo fall on his face

AND HIS FIRST PRIORITY IN THAT SECOND IS TO LOOK COOL

Zhao Yunlan holds onto Shen Wei’s waist and takes a halfstep the the side, and the lighter’s flame illuminates his face — handsome, cool, his features as chiselled as with a blade, gazing from the darkest place yet his pupils reflect the flame He successfully keep this act up like a big bad wolf, lowering his voice and looking into Shen Wei’s eyes, and like a hero protagonist saving a beauty in a movie, he asks quietly: Professor Shen, are you alright? At the same time, he completely ignores the whining intern on the floor.

Yunlan can hypnotise people and change/erase their memories of supernatural events, kind of MiB like

He does this to Shen Wei, carries him (like a bride, bc just before that Shen Wei’s leaning on his shoulder) takes him to his student’s hospital room, make sure he’s comfortably sitting, says a protective spell and EATS HIS TOFU

which is the chinese way of saying he took advantage, kisses the back of Shen Wei’s right hand and says: good night, sleeping beauty

of course, SHEN WEI wasn’t ASLEEP

he ‘saves’ the protective spell and leaves by the second floor window

i guess Shen Wei forgets about being human sometimes, only ghosts come and go by the WINDOW

Guo Changcheng GLOWS to someone who can see (like someone with a third eye) between worlds.

Apparently he’s been using his allowance to do charitable work for YEARS. There is so much merit built up in his ‘books’ he’s practically a saint

Guo Changcheng IS SO PURE

When the slayer arrives, the temperature drops below zero and the windows frost over

he has a black claok, doesn’t wear a mask. His face is just BLACK MIST.

He smells like winter. (and it’s nice?)

… like freshly fallen snow in the morning when one opens the door to it for the first time, that first breath you take on a snowy day — like endless and eternal snow that never melts, clean, yet extremely cold, mixed in with the scent of flowers dying in the frost — far and away, a fragrance like walking to the end of the world. But it’s only for a moment, because after that one’s nose feels frozen and can’t tell any smells apart.

Guo’s explanation in his head for this is: he’s from the southern hemisphere and it’s winter there. (omg)

And then the moment the slayer goes off with YUnlan he starts asking after his health seriously

the slayer is a motherhen (when it comes to yunlan anyway)

he uses the same tone of voice to kill ghosts as he does asking after ppl’s health and Guo thinks this is terrifying (it is)

Li Qian killed her grandmother, none of that heartwarming retconned stuff in the show

the Slayer finds out where the Reincarnation-dial is from Qian and Yunlan follows because he’s curious and finds the place … covered in bodies … of monsters and ghosts that the slayer’s just slain / beheaded.

Yunlan: What’s going on? We’re all responsible for the environment, your honour was only coming here to find a thing, how did this battle happen. tries to step around the bodies but there’s no place to put his feet (what battle? it was a SLAUGHTER)

So it seems Yunlan meeting Shen Wei in this life time was planned by the villain

Chu (old Chu from Zhao, Brother Chu from Guo) is thin as a moving skeleton, about the same age as Lin Jing

And they all slack off in the office MOST OF THE TIME

Yunlan pursues Shen Wei for 3 months, Shen Wei keeps on giving him excuses, the cat makes fun of him mercilessly

Yunlan is eventually reduced to buying a box of old books and stalking Shen Wei with his car on campus until the students are all staring and he has no choice but to knock on the window and asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING

so in the show they made this all about Yunlan being suspicious of him, but there’s none of that in the book, at this point he’s just pursuing the professor shamelessly

Yunlan: this is for you Shen Wei: … opens box No, this is too valuable I can’t take it Yunlan: makes up a bunch of lies my friend’'s emigrating they leave their books behind you take them Shen Wei: I — Yunlan: I what, we’re so familiar already, it’d be unconscionable to say no to keeping the books, see you, let’s have dinner this weekend drives off Shen Wei: is conflicted while suddenly standing on campus holding a heavy box Shen Wei: is happy Yunlan is being so lovely Shen Wei: is jealous that he may be like this with other people

So, Yunlan is an introvert

Yunlan’s heart is a little lazy, hasn’t interest in anything, there’s nothing of import at work right now, and aside from one important networking, occasionally harassing Shen Wei, he spends all his remaining time alone at home.

Yunlan lives in a studio apartment, ‘like a dog’, or ‘neither pig nor dog.’ in other words, MESSY

it’s Yunlan, apparently, that turned his role as ‘guardian’ / command of sealing the spirits(?) into a police department.

Yunlan has ended relationships (or have it ended on him) because he just doesn’t want to talk when he’s home

the reasons are “lack of communication”, “no passion” “Our personalities do not match, we don’t speak the same language” and “You have never loved me”

so he finally gets a date with Shen Wei on Sunday, and on Saturday he gets up at noon, eats bread and water and plays video games until he gets a massive stomachache

he stumbles out the door in his pajamas, a coat, and no socks in his shoes, to get food, and overhears a robbery taking place, and it’s SHEN WEI

they end up getting dinner afterwards and he eats like a starving man until he basically collapses from stomachache

Shen Wei takes him home and they trip over an open umbrella, it hasn’t rained in more than half a month

Shen Wei: Take off your clothes and go to bed Yunlan: But if I do you’ll say i’m improper Shen Wei: What Yunlan: is wearing pajamas under his coat has no socks Shen Wei: blushes Yunlan: shows off his chest You told me to take off my clothes Shen Wei: ZHAO YUNLAN WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING SOCKS Shen Wei: WHAT HAVE YOU EATEN ALL DAY Yunlan: points at garbage can Shen Wei: the whole day? What’d you eat yesterday Yunlan: dunno, drank too much Shen Wei: Do you live like this everyday??? Yunlan: um, yeah? Shen Wei: about to die of anger

Yunlan, way to impress future husband, high-five

meanwhile, Yunlan’s thinking: he’s never angry, but he’s angry because he’s fallen for me. Because i’m handsome (NO JOKE)

Shen Wei: You’re not so young, and you’re established in your career, this is about time for you to find a girlfriend and make a home, ti’s best to have someone take care of you Yunlan: Are you seriously telling me that you haven’t noticed I’ve been pursuing YOU (looks depressed) Then fine, thank you for today, i’m alright, you can go home (fully expecting Shen Wei to feel sorry enough to come closer, Yunlan has a speech prepared and everything)

BUT HE LEAVES

And comes back the next morning 7am with groceries (gosh i love this trope) and takes care of Yunlan

Yunlan’s kitchen is full of kitchenware with the pricetags still on

Shen Wei preps food and heats his hands over the heater before touching Yunlan

to be precise, he strokes Yunlan’s hair and then kisses his own fingers (excuse the blogger. screams)

He feels as if he is a moth that has realised its fate, holding himself from the flame is painful

Yunlan comes out of his bath (in the afternoon) to find that Shen Wei’s cleaned his apartment, folded away his clothes, aired out his room, and made food

So naturally, he figures now’s the time to PROPOSE because wow he’s found THE ONE

Yunlan: Seriously, if you would agree, I will sell this place tomorrow, and buy a big place near your campus. Yunlan: I never thought about buying a big house before, it seemed like such a burden, but now I understand: if I want a person as my wife, then I must build a gold house to hide them. Shen Wei (thinks he’s making fun of him): Eat your food it’s getting cold Yunlan touches the back of Shen Wei’s hand: Even though it may not seem that way, but I’m perfectly serious

- queue requisite “i’m a man” and “you should have children” talk

Yunlan: I’m not obligated to propagate the earth for the sake of mankind, Teacher Shen, are you an ALIEN???

- Yunlan literally tells him: if you really want children we can get a surrogate, it’s easy enough to have kids when you have money - Shen Wei then refuses to go to a movie with him the next week but it’s because he’ll be out of town for a week and Yunlan counts that as a WIN

back at the office: Zhu Hong: Xiaoguo is a good kid, fast learner, but he’s too cowardly, it took him this long to accept food from me Yunlan: That’s natural, he’s afraid of people Zhu Hong: … Yunlan: He’s not afraid of you, because he obvs doesn’t think you’re people

earthquake news play on television Yunlan: Why wasn’t it a bigger earthquake, I had no my arms open ready to comfort him and everything Zhu Hong: Who’d you seduce this time Yunlan: Don’t make it sound so terrible, spring must come to the world and flowers must bloom, its fragrance cannot be missing romance, you ppl must not insult other people’s pure love Lin Jing: buddhist chant Zhu Hong: HELP.

Wang Zheng suddenly appear in the office during the day (she is a ghost, they dissipate in the light) and everyone rushes to close the blinds and give her incense

Yunlan (takes out cigarette): YOU Wang Zheng (moves backwards): Don’t make me breathe your second-hand smoke. Yunlan: …you’re a ghost, madam Wang Zheng, you’re not going to get lung cancer. Wang Zheng: Ghosts can smell smoke and fire, if you keep doing that, you’re going to turn into a human shaped mosquito incense.

Yunlan calls someone sister-in-law over the phone

Zhu Hong: How come director Song is his sister-in-law? He doesn’t even have a sister Daqing: Who knows, he goes out drinking and gains sister-in-laws (?)

- The ‘red’ threads connecting Yunlan and Shen Wei are myriad and golden (and Shen Wei can see them)

[shortqueershakespeare]

ALL QUESTIONS!! ALLLLL (except the one you said you were uncomfy answering ofc)

welcome to my daily essay procrastination (dw it is getting done I've just written like 1000 words and I need a break from literature type writing lol) 

1: Full name - Robin, not sharing the rest (like I said) 

2: Age - 21 

3: 3 Fears - Abandonment, clowns, sleep paralysis 

4: 3 things I love - Theatre, languages, my puppy 

5: 4 turns on - Being dominated, lip biting, gentle physical contact, increasing physical contact 

6: 4 turns off - I genuinely don't know rn can u tell its been a while since I got laid lol, so I guess, being a dick, using certain terms for body parts, 

7: My best friend - Char is prob my best friend!! we currently communicate exclusively through animal crossing post lol 

8: Sexual orientation - Right this is somewhat challenging still but I'm gonna go gay 

9: My best first date - Would you believe I've only really been on two? I can't remember the first one v well but I'd be inclined to say that because all that first love shit was great 

10: How tall am I - 5' 3" i think?? 

11: What do I miss - uni 

12: What time were I born - I actually don't know exactly but it was definitely the afternoon 

13: Favourite color - Baby blue 

14: Do I have a crush - Yup 

15: Favourite quote - "The universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to." 

16: Favourite place - I've got a few, a corner in the orchard at Hom, the nook under my window in my room, the bench up on the hill where I walk the dog 

17: Favourite food - Stir fry 

18: Do I use sarcasm - I think I was fluent in sarcasm before I was in English tbh 

19: What am I listening to right now - Right technically I cheated bc I just skipped a couple songs, but Bad Habit by Ben Platt and the puppy's snores 

20: First thing I notice in new person - Smile or voice 

21: Shoe size - 4 i think 

 22: Eye color - blue 

23: Hair color - a literal rainbow 

24: Favourite style of clothing - uhhh does generally gay count?? 

25: Ever done a prank call? - nope 

27: Meaning behind my URL - one of my friends once called me the shakespeare of nicknames as my other friend called my such a slytherin so i mashed them up 

28: Favourite movie - Moana atm, non animated either Let It Snow or Pitch Perfect 

29: Favourite song - Obv this changes a lot but the last few days, Wonderland by Taylor Swift 

30: Favourite band - Stornoway 

31: How I feel right now - Too damn warm and a lil sleepy 

32: Someone I love - my sister 

33: My current relationship status - furiously single 

34: My relationship with my parents - good 

35: Favourite holiday - when my friend and i went to austria at the end of year 13 

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - zero 

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want a few transition tattoos, a dodie lyric, something in russian, something watercolour 

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Originally because it was 2013 and my friends and I were v much the typical tumblr demographic, this one to vent feelings about some shitty situations 

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - Pretty sure they both hate me, I don't hate them, but I hate how things worked out 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Sometimes yeah 

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - Nope 

42: When did I last hold hands? - Probably when I last went clubbing? 

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends, I have to put T on, once i'm actually out of bed probably 15 minutes 

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope 

45: Where am I right now? - on my sofa in my kitchen 

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - depends where i am, home city it'd be katherine, clubbing in cam, jules probably or char, drinking just in cam, umme or porters 

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable 

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - usually mostly with mum, currently exclusively with dad because quarantine 

49: Am I excited for anything? - getting this damn essay done and sleeping 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - yep 

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not that often i don't think, but i am very good at hiding my emotions if i decide to 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - like 6 hours ago? 

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - not at all unexpected tbh 

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - not at the moment, i think i've managed to stop trusting the person who would've fit this category 

55: What is something I disliked about today? - my sister got super stressed and cried and i just wanted to make everything okay 

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - ben platt 

57: What do I think about most? - rn animal crossing or work 

58: What’s my strangest talent? - i don't think i have one 

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - nope 

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - both, i love taking photos and i love having photos of me at important times 

61: What was the last lie I told? - god probably something dumb like no i absolutely did not just steal your cup of tea 

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting 

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - no, yes 

64: Do I believe in magic? - no 

65: Do I believe in luck? - yes 

66: What’s the weather like right now? - decent I think?? it's like 2 am so idk 

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - What Is to Be Done? by Chernyshevsky 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Fuck no 

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Bob, Bobbin, Robs, Rob, Stink, Little'un 

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - that would probably be me getting a fish hook stuck in my thumb lollll 

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - the fact that this said a tongue and not my tongue is... unsettling.. but yes 

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes 

74: Favourite animal? - elephant 

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - writing the essay lol 

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - morningstar i watch too much lucifer lol 

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - rain by ben platt 

78: How can you win my heart? - hug me when i'm sad, send me things that make you think of me 

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - he was there for me 

80: What is my favorite word? - mousse 

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - okay so i have five blogs and am so tempted to just list those but sewing-and-showtunes, aeternumregina, oneoveroneisone, ballym, xx-thedarklord-xx 

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - STAY THE FUCK INDOORS 

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - shapeshifting 

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - do i like myself 

86: What is my current desktop picture? - hamilton and laurens lol 8

7: Had sex? - yes

88: Bought condoms? - yes 

89: Gotten pregnant? - no 

90: Failed a class? - yes 

91: Kissed a boy? - yes 

92: Kissed a girl? - yes 

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - yes 

94: Had job? - yes 

95: Left the house without my wallet? - yes 

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no 

97: Had sex in public? - yes 

98: Played on a sports team? - yes 

99: Smoked weed? - yes 

100: Did drugs? - no 

101: Smoked cigarettes? - yes 

102: Drank alcohol? - yes 

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no 

104: Been overweight? - no 

105: Been underweight? - no 

 106: Been to a wedding? - no 

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - yes 

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - yes 

109: Been outside my home country? - yes 

110: Gotten my heart broken? - yes 

111: Been to a professional sports game? - no 

112: Broken a bone? - no 

113: Cut myself? - yes 

114: Been to prom? - no 

115: Been in airplane? - yes 

116: Fly by helicopter? - no 

117: What concerts have I been to? - dodie, stornoway, show of hands 

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yes 

119: Learned another language? - yes 

120: Wore make up? - yes 

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - yes 

122: Had oral sex? - yes 

123: Dyed my hair? - yes 

124: Voted in a presidential election? - i'm british 

125: Rode in an ambulance? - yes 

126: Had a surgery? - not unless my fish hook extraction counts 

127: Met someone famous? - yes 

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - yes 

129: Peed outside? - yes 

130: Been fishing? - FISH HOOK YES I HAVE I NEVER WILL AGAIN 

131: Helped with charity? - yes 

132: Been rejected by a crush? - yes 

133: Broken a mirror? - no 

134: What do I want for birthday? - a boyfriend lol, or tbh for quarantine to be over 

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - oh lord who knows, i like the name scottie and archie for girls 

136: Was I named after anyone? - my middle name is after my gran 

137: Do I like my handwriting? - ehhhh 

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? - my teddy bear 

139: Favourite Tv Show? - Crazy Ex Girlfriend 

140: Where do I want to live when older? - Berlin, Cambridge or London 

141: Play any musical instrument? - used to play the violin v poorly 

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - fish hook or pets 

143: Favourite pizza topping? - pepperoni 

144: Am I afraid of the dark? - no 

145: Am I afraid of heights? - sort of 

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - don't think so 

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - yes 

148: What I’m really bad at - currently? being motivated 

149: What my greatest achievements are - getting into my uni, finally finding an antidepressant that works, coming out 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - oh yikes it's way too late at night to open that can of worms 

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - pay for my damn top surgery 

152: What do I like about myself - I'm empathetic 

153: My closest Tumblr friend - @oneoveroneisone 

154: Something I fantasise about - going to pride abroad 

155: Any question you’d like? - I'm gonna pass this to the anons, ask me questions?

[lebilliam]

Hey sirmcartney asked me to do this

I’d rather be doing this over my school ish anyways :’)

Ask me some questions!

3 Fears: Ghosts :((( , fat insects , failing stuff 

3 things I love: i fukin love talking to my friends and hanging out , listening to music that i havent heard in forever, and that post workout glow 

2 turns on: i can send them memes :) , i can laugh and not give a heck with them

2 turns off: i cant send them memes :( , being mean to me (im sensitive af)

My best friend: zoo wee this is a hard one but id prob say logan or brian or adam or morgan or alex. take ur pick. (morgan and logan tbh)

Sexual orientation: str8 

How tall am I: 5′9″ according to my ID

What do I miss right now: intimacy

Favourite color: orange!!!!!

Do I have a crush: ;)

Favourite place: currently ive been digging the imagination room

What am I listening to right now: affection // Cigarettes After Sex

Shoe size: it varies on the brand but normally 9.5 or 10? idk im bad

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black 

Meaning behind my URL: its bc i wanted a recognizable alias that i could use across platforms 

Favourite song: i always say liztomania by phoenix

Favourite band: Maroon 5 fanboy here but ive been a fan of Cigarettes after Sex for a while now

How I feel right now: STRESSED and ANGERY

Someone I love: myself (kinda)

My current relationship status: 

My relationship with my parents: we dont really talk that much but good i think?

Favourite season: oof i like the heat but im gonna say winter bc i get to be emo and i can go walk on fresh snow 

Tattoos and piercing i have: none atm

Tattoos and piercing i want: hmmm idk if i want anything big but i always thought the track shoe/wing thing would be nice

The reasons I joined Tumblr: all my friends had it so i thought i would be cool if i made one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i have gotten some before and i appreciate them 

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: the last person i texted? surprisingly no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: depends if i shower but i can get going in ~4-5 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: nope!

Where am I right now?: imagination room!

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? hell yea who doesnt

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? not atm im chillin #dormlife

Am I excited for anything?: excited for the weekend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? hell to the yea of course

How often do I wear a fake smile?: everytime i feel weird around people idk usually i wouldnt say i smile that much unless im gooning 

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I believe that the world will introduce me to people when i need it (lame answer: idk anyone but maybe like my friends’ friends)

What do I think about most? this week it’s been the french essay i had to write but overall i think about being appreciated 

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? id be on both sides if i could but if i had to pick one id totally be in front

What was the last lie I told? oh haha i dont know (but i do know)

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? PHONE CALLS

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Hell yea what else am i supposed to be afraid of. aliens are super cool man of course i think theyre real

Do I believe in magic? NOPE! but theres been some crazy magic tricks where i almost believe but then i see the “how it’s done” video for it

Do I believe in luck? hell yea of course! why would it not exist? 

What’s the weather like right now? ughgh it’s disappointingly hot 

What was the last book I’ve read? Huis Clos by Jean Paul Sartre (i had to read it for class but it really is a great work of art)

Do I have any nicknames? B, Lil B(ones i have heard the most) Billiam, Broletariate Biu (my mom calls me that), (billy bear is an old one and i dont know why they ever used it in the first place), goomph, toad, frog, ugly ass, nerd, dork, dingus

Do I spend money or save it? i spend it haha kms i really need to save more efficiently

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nope just tried and looked like a fool

Favourite animal? oof i want to say dogs but thats basic but dogs are so loving like i dont get it how do they do it

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: i was up and i was emo. jk i was hanging out and watching bad Freshman xxl cyphers

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Get Low by lil Jon or Faded (the remix) or change your mind by the killers. im gonna go ahead and say that change your mind gets my shit hyped UP

What is my favorite word? satiation

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk if im going to be honest i dont really use tumblr that much for personal blogs but i do love foodporn, til, ruined childhood

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love each other. 

Do I have any relatives in jail? i dont think so? oh jk theyre not really a relative but they’re a close family friend’s relative

What is my current desktop picture? FUKIN FUNCTIONAL GROUPS THAT I DONT EVER KNOW OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THERES A TEST IN 10.25 HOURS

Had sex? ye

Bought condoms? ye

Gotten pregnant? cant really say that i have :p

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

Had job? yep! summer job at the zoo which was cool af

Smoked weed? once or twice 

Smoked cigarettes? never.nope.disgusting

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? i tried being vegetarian for a bit but then i wasnt eating enough red meat

Been overweight? as a kid i feel like i was overly big but now that i think about it i dont think i was fat

Been underweight? definitely

Gotten my heart broken? homeboy who hasnt?

Been to prom? yeep

Been in airplane? yeep

Learned another language? heck yes! english kek and im in the process of learning french. i tried learning lithuanian after a life changing experience. 

Wore make up? surprisingly no

Dyed my hair? nope! i dont want to bleach my hair

Had a surgery? uhhh does laser surgery count? bc ive had 3 so far and i might have more

Met someone famous? every time i walk by a mirror ;) jk i met the senator of WA and the mayor of Tacoma a couple times

Stalked someone on a social network? pfft hell yes

Been fishing? yep! it’s always an experience

Been rejected by a crush? rip me yes

What do I want for birthday? i want to have a nice get together with friends where we do stuff that i dont have to pay for (but i dont think thats how life works anymore)

Do I like my handwriting? I love it in pen and when i hit my ecrivain stride, but otherwise when my hands get sweaty its just a fkin mess 

Where do I want to live when older? i’ve always said paris, but zaragoza spain wouldnt be too bad!

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yea boi

What I’m really bad at: believing in myself 

What my greatest achievments are: i was a smart kid in elementary! i got some awards for getting good grades and i went to a competitive thing for piano once and i placed a couple times in some random races ive run

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: oof i dont want to really relive that experience

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: id ask /r/personalfinance 

What do I like about myself: id like to think im gaining/losing healthy weight

My closest Tumblr friend: on tumblr?? idk i said i dont really use tumblr for friends but i’d probably say memequeen or sirmccartney

Any question you’d like? when am i going to meet up with my RA? no one knows idk i forgot about our meeting and hes really cool about rescheduling so i might do it this saturday

Are you outgoing or shy? it really depends on how im feeling but id like to think im pretty outgoing!

What kind of people are you attracted to? NICE FRIENDly people who can laugh. laughing is important to me

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? personally i think yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope!

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @thoseloverseyes most def

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “haha and then what ;)” jk it says” thank”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? boy oh boy am i not ready for this question. Id think “this love, maroon 5″, humble (its a bop), “the air that i breathe, “open - rhye”, and rollin by calvin harris or this house by japaense breakfast idk the last one always changes

Do you like it when people play with your hair? i had a weird experience once but idk i think im willing to let other people touch my hair? not a fan 

Do you think there is life on other planets?of course. this topic is not up for debate. just bc our defition of life has not been found that does not mean that there is not life in other places where we are either 1) not looking or 2) life that we cant recognize due to our weird weird obsession with water like life does not have to use water as a conduit for essential functions

well that was fun and id say it took some time. it def got me feeling better about life. 7.8/10 i would do it again but im sweaty af from this hot ass room

peace!

[survivor-islands-of-adventure]

EPISODE 11

So I really pushed for it and it happened, Madison is officially gone and that’s one less person I gotta suck up to. But now mark is pissed at me. WHY WOULD WE VOTE KAREN OFF. She does not have a strong game, she’s floundering, she’s a prefect goat to take to the end. But whatever! Be as mad as you want. I was trying to help us both. But you just wanna be a big MAN BABY because I’m not letting you run this game. Remember how I said I wanted to run this and take no prisoners- well it’s now in full fuckin swing. I’ll do anything to get to the end. Even if that means cutting off mark, my number one ally. I’m actually super upset because I feel like he won’t be my friend anymore and wow I need to stop rambling whatever goodnight goodbye Goodluck 

I did a confessional before i got a strike lmaoooo I won immunity bitches time for revenge in Madison’s name. I’d love to just take out Tracey’s boring ass this round but there’s bigger threats in the game and unfortunately she’s not a threat to anyone or anything ever so let’s hope we can actually flush stoners idol this round and take out dan or drew 

I didn't win immunity but i beat Drew the legend's score so im really happy about that. Tonight's plan is to tell people we're voting dan but actually vote drew, so I'm hoping it's seamless and not a fucking trainwreck like it has been. We're also trying to get Chris to use his idol. Lastly, im not sure i trust charlie atm. Mark wants her in on the Drew vote but im nervous that she might spill. 

mark brought up a good point, but pat could potentially play the sapphire idol this round or the next for a big move, and with the way the game is going, one of these two tribals is probably the time to play it to try and swing some momentum back in his favor while also making a big move to add to his resume. just ideas™ in my head

Another fucking mess vote. Will I vote Drew? Maybe. Will I vote Chelsea? Maybe. Am I getting blindsided? Maybe. Idk it just feels weird. I feel like people are talking a lot but not a lot at the same time. Like we’re all beating around the bush. Let’s hop to it ladies. I’ll proabbly turn on Drew this week, I hope that doesn’t effect anything with Stoner in this game or the other game I’m in with him.

I'm writing another log because I'm so nervous for tonight once again. Idk why but I'm skeptical about Pippa being included in our voting information because I think she is secretly spying for Chris. The other night I told Pippa that I might vote Chris and not even a minute later, he messages me saying "I heard I'm getting votes against me." Coincidence? Idk. I want to be able to network and work with people but I don't know who to trust. Pat and Mark are pretty cool, but even Sammy I'm a little bit worried about. On the same night with the Pippa situation, I got a message from Chris telling me that Sammy asked him if he would vote me. So, now I'm not sure if Chris was just baiting me to start a fight, or if Sammy might also be working with Chris. Fuck. 

This round is a mess but honestly, I’m like so here for it. I’m lowkey hoping Pat hits the bricks bc I told Drew he’s getting all the votes. I can’t wait to get voted out hahahahahaha. That would be so fucking funny. Everyone thinks Chris has the idol, but Drew does :~)

so this round has been very boring. Everyone is being predictable and sticking with their comfort.  However I really want to switch things up and stop giving Tracey stoner and Chris so much power. Tracey just keeps coming to me to get information and it's low-key annoying cause like obvs I know she is working w Chris and Drew.  Like she could be making power moves but she has not worked w me once and keeps like not going w anything I tell her. lmao whatever.

I feel like I have my little baby hands in every honey pot in this game. I’m the swing vote but I’m also deciding who it swings on. I’m letting Mark and drew think they’re picking who the vote is, but I’m whispering in their ears ehehhehe. Hopefully drew goes home tonight and stoner uses his idol

So uhhhhh last tribal was iconic skdndkndkdnd it actually worked and I'm still here ??????? Anyway nothing new has really happened so yeah :/ but um the others are flushing chris' idol and me drew and Chris are voting for Sammy. Also I need to keep an eye on dan because he still seems like a flip flopped skcjfkfnfj

CONFESSIONAL: This week is supposed to go smoothly. My alliance of sammy chelsea and mark is going well. I trust them a lot. With my alliance members getting voted out its easier for them to want to vote for me in the end. I miss madison but we have to keep moving forward to eliiminate drew, chris and tracey. i CANNOT STAND THEM. especially tracey. if she takes me out i will actually cry. No matter what happens atlast i have majority. and it seeeeeeems like people are noticing me and I realllllyyyy like that. Like if they keep going for chelsea and mark Its going to be amazing. This is literally how I won my BB game so I think this is a good way to get myself into the same position

OKAY SO SOMEHOW the concept of voting out madison actually worked?? Charlotte's interest in playing both sides was so incredible and useful in the last minute. Rip Ricky btw, i hope by the time this comes out, things are better for him. So the challenge was firedragon, which means i lost right the fuck away. So once again, a brilliant idol play was necessary. I'm bitter af that it couldn't be Chelsea ...but sammy probably was the better call. But now i'm stuck, F8, no idol, very little hope. It's nearing the end of the road but honestly making it this far is a triumph in itself.

SAMMY IS VOTED OUT

I’m shook. This is my third individual immunity win. My target is definitely growing but I still feel like I’m playing a reasonable game. I would love for Pat to use his Sapphire idol this week bc I would be safe regardless, but honestly Drew is the easy vote. The only thing that sucks is that he knows Pat has the Sapphire idol and if I flip, he could easily tell Pat or others about me telling him. I could do some damage control this week and tell Pat that Drew asked me if Pat had won the power and I said idk. And act like drew knew where everyone competed and it’s wideled down to Pat possibly having it. That’s a little risky but if it comes out that Drew told Pat I told him about the idol, it could save me and I can easily back pedal and say that Drew has a lucky guess. But at the same time, why would Drew lie if he was going out the door hnnnnn. It’s best if Pat doesn’t feel safe this week/thinks it’s gonna go to rocks. I think I could push a tie narrative by throwing Charlotte under the bus, but we’ll see. Regardless I’m going to the f7 and hopefully I have a solid group of 4 and maybe an idol of my own up my sleeve. 

Okay I literally forgot that prevotes are due tonight; not being in an alliance chat this round made things weird, but iIve been working with Pat, Dan, Mark, and Charlotte to find the idol this entire time. I'm gonna be voting Chris, Tracey, or Drew, but I guess I should be talking to people about that and not idol clues lmfao.

Trying to fucking explain to Pat how his own Sapphire idol works is like trying to explain not being racist to my Uncle Bill. It’s just not....happening. 

So!!!!!! Another tribal another person gone whew it sucka that it had to be sammy bc I actually wanted to work with him a bit but I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in the game. We had touchy subjects this round and I got most annoying which I'm sure I got bc I snapped in the tribe chat that one time JSJDJDJDJ and who doesn't deserve to still be here which is like ????? I get it!!! Y'all wanted me out for so long but you can't your way bc I'm smarter but w/e!!!! They can stay hatin ! I think I got most likely to get to the end and win or lose idk but I like my odds tbh rkdjdofnfk so this round will prob end being split 4-4 which is exciting bc it means we'll prob be going to rocks !!!! I'm nervous about being rocked out but hey at least it'll be exciting lol. I'm hoping after this round or next round to get dan out tho, he's playing a superb game and it'd be a great move to take him out t b h

Eek I really hope drew finally goes home! Glad I won funniest tbh! Haha! I’ll make a longer confessional later! I’ll prob be sent home tonight oh whale

I LOST THE CHALLENGE I DON'T HAVE AN IDOL This should spell death for me. It really should. it probably still will. But I have three people willing to vote with me, two willing to pull a rock for me. So far, at least. A lot of shit changes when the revote is upon us. There's also Pat's sapphire idol to think about. I'm honestly not expecting to make it through this round but if I do, there are only four rounds left to go. Four rounds, it's not that much. We're trying to vote Pat because making me and Pat both safe was the best way to keep Dan on board with the plan. That and the fact that he won immunity and wouldn't pull a rock. Also I got biggest threat and needs to go next. These whores really know how to flatter a bitch.

IM FINALLY VOTING TRACEY OUT.. too bad shes not actually going home bc Pat has the reward from the dark week. He started getting nervous with his name apparently going around this vote and only charlotte or dan would need to flip to cause rocks/send pat home. So Pat is safe with his idol but it cancels votes for the top 2 vote getters. So we had to maneuver the votes so Tracey is actually the second vote getter and Drew is the 3rd so Drew goes home. Me Dan Pat and Chelsea searched every name in survivor history on the blog for the clues to the idol, and then searched those numbers. We dont have it yet but should soon. Touchy subjects was interesting. Apparently i really am perceived to be running this game, not sure how that happened. But hopefully if i get to the end after "running the game"  since merge thatll make up the lack of social game i have compared to some of the people left in the game.

[olusegundare]

Brother Samson And Sister Debbie’s Story continues

Sista Debbie writes, "And I slept in his room for the first time". (June 16, 2013)

On the day some graduates who are jobless wrote an employment exams @ a nearby town did I went 2 my love's shop. I prepared his delicious meal, which is pounded yam with melon soup...He did not like engine grinded pounded yam, he says dat d so called engine pounded yam is not usually soft n well articulated 2geda like d 1 pounded in a morter by pestle...such engine grinded boiled yams do have lattices n inter-callaces, spaces, d atoms and ions are scattered, dey do not form a good compound, its cohesive forces are not strong...it does not form a good ball, good morsel,, when rolled 2geda by d fingers b4 dipping into d soup b4 going into d mouth 4 onward swallowing...it is essentially not a good representation of pounded yam, although it is fair, manageable, but nay good, if some1 has ever tasted such b4...so my love said...

Having felt his pulse on this, and having understand my one and only one...I decide 2 pound d yam...it was smooth, soft, succulent like a baby's ear-lobe...Before I did dis, I have grinded pepper, tomatoes, onions, locust bean, I added cray-fish and melon, all these were grinded on d ancient mortar...People, expert women in cooking, say dat pepper grinded using ancient stone mortar is usually sweeter than d ones grinded by engines, d new technological inventions...Afta I was thru with dis, I have gotten other additives like vegetables, dry fishes, lungs and liver of animals which I have cut 2 small sizes,...all these r going into d grinded melon n others...On d 2nd kerosine stove, I boiled d meat, cow meat, whose nearly dried boiled water shall also serve as other additives to d melon 2 be cooked...Afta dis I fried d meats and a little pepper which i shall add on d melon-vegetable soup afta it is done...At d expiration of d soup did I peeled d Yams and put it on fire...Washed d mortar

And psetle...getting set for the pounding...Afta all said n done, I was thru with all...Afta I took my bathe, arranged d foods in order...off 2 my love's office cum shop...As usual, he was busy in his office, preparing some notes, I guess he shall be ministering 2moro @ d church or perhaps he had an impromptu message 2 deliver @ a place, because he looked subsumed in his thoughts and writings, but I am yet 2 be fully briefed of what he is busy doing in his office...I entered, genuflected few millimeters off d door frame as I stepped into his office...dropped my bag on a settee...and said, "ẹ ku isẹ oni o", I did not wait 4 his response as I walked to his side hugged him and pecked him on d right cheek...took about 3 steps back and dropped d container containing his cooked food @ a corner behind where he sits...""O se o" , but u are a bit late", he replied. "Ẹ má mà dami lohun", I said, as I was dropping d bag. "What is it that has kept u back all dis while?" He asked, as he continue

Writing. "Se ẹ nisẹ fun mi ni?" I asked. "Oh yes. Oh no..." He paused 4m what he was writing, I guess he has muddled up some points...he then speaks loud, ostentatiously not to me, that, ""...As he journied on, he stopped...He will also stop to answer you today and now in Jesus name..." I said "amen". He was quickly writing this down 4m dis I discern dat I am disturbing d flow of "stuffs" which I guess is spiritual, then, I excused myself 4m his office as I said, "My love, am so, so sorry to disturb you, let me go and join the sales staff @ sales department, and when u are thru u can call 4 me". "Oh, thank you dearie...I am sorry 4 the inability 2 attend 2 u now,...I shall soon be through with this section and I will come over and meet you there", he said, dropping the ball-pen, resting his back on the chair and looking directly @ me..."It is no problem "mai" lord, take good care of yourself and do the right justices to the outlined points, as we also continue with the other aspects,

Division of labour "sé", (he nodded his head in affirmative) selling the stocked goods", I said... ""Ẹ se o", I should be thru soon..." he said, half of this last statement I didnt hear because I have already opened d office door, so d noise of the office door as it moves on the hinge dat fastened it to d oda part of d structure shielded his words 4m my hearing...I also gave d sales department staffs their foods, I wrapped their pounded yams in a leaf, "ewe iran" as it is called in our Island and I put their soup in "take-aways", a combustible bowl like structure. The sales staffs are doing justices 2 d food one afta anoda...They did not eat d food @ once dis is done so dat there shall be free staffs to attend 2 customers...Afta a while, every1 has eaten his/her portion...we continued selling things @ d sales department/outlet, but when there is no customer, we resort 2 gisting...we are also taking note of the goods that are out-of-stock, those that are few copies left...so dat "mai"

Lord be intimated of what is left in stock and he wil place orders for more copies as soon as soon can be...I got to d shop @ 14:30 hours the Island's time, but as @ 15:30 hours "mai" love is yet 2 come out...he though sends messages 2 update me through facebook...@ 16:15 hours, he finally came out of his office... ""Se ko si "problems" pẹlu awọn "customers" o"", he said as he walked 2 where I am, placed his 2 palms on my shoulders, becuase I was facing outside while I back d office, as I felt his palms on my shoulders, so I felt his lips touching my head, because my hair was plaited and I had no scarf or cap on...he kissed my head like the Europeans..."I think i love this", I said 2 mysef...""Ko si" problems sire", a staff replied.... ""Agbara Ọlọrun ka awọn to wa "sire", another staff added...""To ò, ẹ ku isẹ o", he said...After he has answered them, he spoke 2 me in a hushed tone, ""Ẹ ku ijoko, se o binu pupọ?" he asked....I shook my head for negativity, ""rara o". Why would I be

Angry? With whom shal I be annoyed? How shall I be miffed?" I asked....He has now put his hands by d arms of d chair, his right hand on d right arm of d chair while his left rests on d left arm of d chair, as he rested his chin on my right shoulder...Just then, one of d staffs looked back and said, ""ỌGA",I like this posture "o"" the other sales staffs looked back and they started commenting, as if we have posted a comment on d facebook, "me too sire", anoda staff said, ""Eleyi ko" bad "o"", anoda staff yet added...."Let us take the picture sire" a staff said and they all chorused thus, "Yes. Yes. Yes. The picture, it shal be good for your profile..." They did not even wait 4 a reply 4m any of us as someone out of them took my fone 4m d table and took the picture...afterwards he said, ""Ọga, look at it, isnt it lovely?" Turning 2 me, he said "abi anti? Isnt it innovative and enthralling?" My love took it 4m him looking @ it he said, ""Ẹyin lẹ mọ̀, se bi ẹ ti yà á tan"".

"No sire. Not a matter of "sebi a ti yà á tan", to be frank and sincere sire, pass comment", a staff said. "Hum... Well...I think so", my love said.... ""Mo mọ tọga bẹ́ẹ̀", I think "nã ni" always", anoda staff enthused. "Ok. What do u want me 2 say, "ẹyin ọmọ yi"", my love said. Anoda staff replied, "With all sense of humility and respect sire", bowing his head, "we expect a nay or yea answer 4m you sire. Isnt this picture respledent, lovely, gorgeous, inspiring, enthralling, tantalizing,..." My love interjected, "I think you have made millions today...or what really happened? Because all of you are joyous", he asked. "We bless God 4 today's sales "ná ọga", as you all know no dull moment with us here, because the joy of the Lord is our strong room (someone among them said "Yes o") but that apart sire, isnt this pics inviting?" the staff concludes. Another staff said, "This pics shall hit the enemies @ a dangerous place sire, when they see it on air". ""O dara nã", it is fine. "Kilẹ fẹ

Gbà nidi ọrọ yi?" My love said.... They all clapped their hands, as if they have re-hearsed it before they chorused, ""Oluwa seun". That is what we wanna hear", a staff added "1st time in history "ọga" conceeds d discussion 2 us". My love pulled me up 4m where I am sitting down as if glued by something 2 d seat watching the master-servant season movie part 8..."Please let us go into d office, because "awọn ọmọ yi ko ni jẹ ka gbadun ọrọ wa nibiyi o"" he said as he helped me 2 my feet with his right hands around my scapular. As I was standing up, someone said, "Please "ọga" on behalf of all", we are both standing now, with his hand yet around me, listening to d staff, "I want u 2 help us thank anti 4 d delicious meal she gave us today o, "mo wi ire tabi ngo wi ire"?" He enthused as he faced his colleagues waiting 4 an answer. They all chorused the answer, "O wi ire". "Ọga", my love said, ""oun na ti ngbọ bayẹn", pls let us go jare"", he added. ""A kì í dupẹ ara ẹni", I said as he allows

As he allows me 2 walk ahead, placing his palms on my shoulders like Island's children while playing games in d moonlight... In his office he told me how pastor phoned him dat he shd prepare 4 message 2moro bc God laid d burden on his heart...He said he has texted me 2 Intimate me dat blessed devpt, but I have not received d text till i got 2 him, all these network problems... Afta he ate his food...He gave me money 2 go n buy oda fudstuffs n prepare soup 4 him...dis also shal afford him d opportunity 2 complete d msg he was preparing... Afta I was tru @ d market, I got 2 his room in a "face me I slap you" house in d Island around 18:45 hours...prepared d foods n soups...He got home around 20:50 hours...2 minutes afta rain began...A heavy rain...it rained 4 an hour...d streets are deserted...I wasnt too sure of how intact d adjoining bridge dat was constructed by communal efforts dat linked my street with d main street shall be, bc well b4 dis heavy rain, erosion has been washing away d edges...so we, my one and only and I, concluded dat I shd sleep in his house dat nyt...

Afta eating, bathing, changing and prayers, I lay on bed...so furtunate 4 us dat d electricity providers of d Island didnt switch off d electricity 2 d island dat day...it was a rare occasion in d island, having electricity during rain...we bless God 4 dat... As I laid on d bed, he returned 2 his writing desk, "wont u rest a while?" I asked. "I shall do but not now", he said. "This man must be a "work-a-holic", what some psychologists called type-A personality", I thousght... As a solemn christian worship song was coming out of his DVD player...I was following d wordings and the rhythm, I did not know when I slept off... @ d midnight, 00:15 hours, I opened my eyes only 2 find him sleeping on a mat on d floor..., "this man "shá", wont he have body ache 2moro? Sleeping on mat? I cannot remember when last I slept on mat...as I think of dis, I fell asleep again...by 04:00 hours, I come out of sleep again...he was awake praying..."Huh, my one and only, broda Samson! Is dis his life-cycle?" I questioned myself. I also attempted praying some silent prayers as he was doing...but I couldnt sustain it bc my eyes were heavy with sleep thus I fell asleep again...around 05:30 hours, I felt his hand gently tapping me..."wake up and let us pray", he said....

DIFFICULT WORDS MEANINGS

*Sista Debbie writes, "And I slept in his room for the first time". (June 16, 2013)

1 (MEANS one

"ẹ ku isẹ oni o", (translation how is work oh)

O se o" , (translation thank you oh)

 "Ẹ má mà dami lohun", (translation don’t mind me)

"Se ẹ nisẹ fun mi ni?" (translation do you have work for me? Or do you want to send me an errand?)

"sé", (translation is it) (he nodded his head in affirmative)

""Ẹ se o", (translation Thank you oh)

"ewe iran" (translation is a characteristic big leaf in our land that is being used to wrap things. Hawkers in the olden days and presently in the rural areas use it to wrap things for their buyers

""Se ko si "problems" pẹlu awọn "customers" o"", (translation I hope there is no problems with the customers oh)

...""Ko si" problems sire", (translation there is no problems sir)

""Agbara Ọlọrun ka awọn to wa "sire", (translation The power of God is able for all who come (it is a way of saying with the help of God we have been able to attend to all the customers that come here today, that is the way the Yorubas speak)

To ò, ẹ ku isẹ o", (translation Alright. Weldone)

""Ẹ ku ijoko, se o binu pupọ?" (translation.i hope you are not annoyed for keeping you sitting all this while?)

 ""rara o". (translation no, not at all)

""ỌGA", (translation Master) 

""Eleyi ko" bad "o"", (translation This is not bad or this is good)

""Ẹyin lẹ mọ̀, se bi ẹ ti yà á tan"". (translation That is left to you. Have you finished taken the picture?)

"sebi a ti yà á tan", (translation have we finished taken the picture)

""Mo mọ tọga bẹ́ẹ̀", (translation I have known our master for this)

"nã ni" (translation I think is what he would only say)

"ẹyin ọmọ yi"", (translation You these children)

"ná ọga", (translation in a way master)

""O dara nã", it is fine. "Kilẹ fẹ Gbà nidi ọrọ yi?" (translation okay now, it is fine. What do you want to be given for all these?)

 ""Oluwa seun". (translation Bless the Lord or Lord be blessed)

"ọga" (translation master)

"awọn ọmọ yi ko ni jẹ ka gbadun ọrọ wa nibiyi o"" (translation These children (or my members of staff) would be disturbing or interrupting our discussions here oh)

"ọga" (translation Master)

"mo wi ire tabi ngo wi ire"?" (translation Have I spoken well or not?)

"O wi ire". (translation You have spoken well)

"Ọga", (translation Master)

""oun na ti ngbọ bayẹn", pls let us go jare"", (translation she is hearing what you are saying, don’t mind them, please let us go)

""A kì í dupẹ ara ẹni", (translation You are welcome)

"face me I slap you" (translation this is a room by room apartment in the nation where a room will face another room, it is not a self-contain room, but rooms in a row without partition but separated by passage where those inhabiting the rooms will have access to the same toilet, bathrooms and toilets. Just like an office that face another office, that is some buildings are in the country

[survivornavarino]

Episode #5: WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM -Rebecka

Back from exile so here's the happenings ~Immediately cried to Beckka about Tim leaving and being slaughtered in my arms. ~Messaged Trixie, well she messaged me about what happened our other tribal. ~Messaged all the favs cuz idc if Im at the bottom, im obviously bottom of fans or favs so WHATEVER. ~Talked a lot to Julia cuz we have a lot in common (Witchcraft, being 16 y/o babies, getting lit) ~Told all the favs I have no one in this game which is true. FAVS IF YOU LISTENING TAKE ME IN. PLEASE AND THANKS. ~Messaged Vi cuz at least she was with me.

Honestly what were they thinking with voting out Tee? I guess that's a challenge threat out of the way, so I won't complain.

https://youtu.be/HepZnpuimhM ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/IJWWj23olkA

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE LANA DEL REY SO MUCH NICE TRY AMIRADOR GET READY PUT ON UR ACRYLIC NAILS AND WINGED EYELINER WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM 

So the bad news is I found out Drew has been hardcore dropping my name since the game started and I thought we were cool but it's fine snakes will be snakes. I think he's a little shook about my at bat (me having won 1/3 games I've played) cause he's hinted at how crazy that is. And that would explain why he's pulling out fake receipts and conspiracies to get me out. Whew game recognize game https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ryans-reality-network/images/6/61/Awright_alyssa_edwards.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150724035546 The good news is Eddie is a real one, we really are Joe and Desi from HvHvH, and he spilled all the tea. And honestly we have a similar playing style so we're really about to go the distance, especially if I never get reunited with Julia or Rebecka. SO we need to slay this lip sync so we both live but on the off chance we lose, things are gonna kick into high gear. I've only seen one season of Survivor (HvHvH) but Tyler convinced me to watch Kaoh Rong and let me just say that has shed some light on things. Voting Jacob? Will always be there. Sending another fan out? No problem. Voting long-term? Now that's not a bad idea. So when I said, "What if we got Drew out?" Eddie was all ears. Obviously this is super early and under wraps BUT between the two of us we can make it happen. The key is Tyler and Jake so if we can get them we have a guaranteed majority. It all comes down to timing and the pitch. This is our best chance to clock Drew and whoever fails the vetting process will be left out. If Eddie says that whenever someone takes a shot at Drew they can't afford to miss and that has to be a blindside, then this plan has to be airtight. I wonder who could pull something like that off https://media.giphy.com/media/QmeB1Hr5fz7a0/giphy.gif

I volunteered to do the music video since I was a film major and have professional editing software. It puts a good deal of pressure on me because if we lose it looks like I really dropped the ball. However, I’m hoping that my attempts to organize us and edit the entire thing will earn me some respect and points from my tribe. It’s a bit frustrating getting ideas out of everyone. Nobody seems to want to volunteer thoughts or contribute to the brainstorming and we don’t have much time at all to get this done.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CdgOebQNYEE ________________________________________________________________ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsZyoPZe5Q

First challenge on a new tribe and we lost. WHOOP DE DOO. Im going to try and find an in with the favs and hopefully stick with them. Saying how I have no allegience in this game. Also I keep forgetting that I can idol hunt so Im just casually at level 4 still I think. Ill probably look in the morning. But what were we thinking with Great Balls of Fire. That song is iconic and now that Tyler won he has chances of getting an in with people, but I want him gone Obviously no can do since I am not on his tribe anymore. Might as well dwindle down his numbers from this side then.

So we lost the lip sync. I had to apply lipstick for the first time so that was fun. Sadly one of us has to go home and my guess is it's either Heather, Trixie or Vi unless me or another favorite is getting targeted secretly. I need Heather and Trixie in the game if i'm being honest, mainly due to Trixie having rumors spread about her on the OG Admirador tribe and I wanna see if I can mess around with that. Then Heather was saying that people on the OG Admirador tribe were being fake to her, and she also told me Tyler got paranoid due to Heather not responding to Tyler's messages. So I hope Tyler makes it past merge, because I can work with paranoia. For those who don't know I'm trying a villainy thing and it's probably gonna fail miserably and I'm gonna look like a dumb fuck but I was the hero on my season and I wanted to try villainy out. I'm not good at long confessionals I apologize I feel like i'm the kid in the class presentation who speaks in a monotone voice and makes everyone fall asleep.

Me to the other tribe if/when i reach merge and we get to talk: https://desmadrechic.tumblr.com/post/171063789210/oh-god Ignore the caption that came with the video ajsjsjdkjd

So the other tribe voted out Tee and I'm a n g e r y The challenge was a music video. Still a n g e r y We won. Still a n g e r y!

So like this is bad for the fans, I feel like the faves will just band together and take the easy vote route, I need to socialise today. I need to just make strong social bonds and make sure people want to keep me around. I wanna act dumb and want them to think I am a free number for them. I like Drew and feel like he will be loyal to me, I am no 100% sure what Mitch and Autumn will do but I feel like they will keep me over Jake and Tyler if we end up going to tribal.

Well look at that I got added to a new alliance chat...! Autumn added me, Tyler, and Eddie to an alliance and we named it "Keyboard Smashers" and um I like everyone in it but I also like Drew...so I'm gonna protec him! If we lose and we're still on the same tribe I think I'd want to vote out Mitch since he hasn't made any efforts to talk to me individually. It's a shame bc I think we'd have a lot in common, but oh well! Tbh I have a feeling that we're gonna swap into 3 tribes of 5 next round...my psyche is telling me this...and I'm always right! But I hope I'm wrong because I feel like I'm in a really good position on this tribe and I'm scared to swap on a tribe with people from the other tribe because I think Heather and Vi wouldn't work with me, neither would the faves on the other side. Anyways...I'm a bad bitch.

We just did THAT and I'm happy for it. I've not gotten the chance to be as much if a social butterfly as I would like because my work situation is still adjusting, so if I can keep staying safe until merge that would be highly appreciated. HeatherAs of right now he vote is Vi. I dont agree with it since she is the only one who has been truthful to me in this game so far. But I dont see any way of saving her right now. My only choice I feel in this game is to team up with the favs and get out the fans, which I don't mind as long as that fan isn't me. Plus the fans (minus my loves Vi and Tim) all left me out of the vote. If they think I am going to crawl right back to them come another swap or merge, they have something coming. HOPEFULLY THIS VOTE ISNT ME OR ILL CRY.

So I'm just like really sad because I love vi and I never wanted to vote her out of this game but I have to and that's really sad.  I don't really have much else to say I just feel super guilty.

du du du..... another fan bites the dust and another fan gone, another fan gone another fan bites the dust

Why is it that each tribal gets messier than the last? Well maybe I should back up. We lost... again. Wow what curse have we brought to this tribe. I call bs since we were nice enough to give an upbeat song. The judges are bias smh. Anyways literally no one talked. What vote who? I dunno. It’s super silent which brings bad news. Probably gonna have to expect to be voted out tonight. Oh well. Hopefully heather doesn’t get voted out but I feel like it’ll be another fan that’s gone. The favs know each other and so they’re banding together I believe. Such sadness. I’ll just have to wait until tribal to know tho

Oh, right, this is a thing I need to do. Anyway, same boring shit as always, I'd put "Drew won an immunity challenge" as my mood message but it could be about anything, really. I think there are only like two tribal challenges I've ever lost in Athena. Bonus points because it was the music video challenge so you know my ass floated by and gave it all of ten minutes of thought, but we had a damn savant on the tribe! I love it when tribe swaps work out well for me. People were expressing all this sadness for Trixie and Vi going to their fifth tribal in a row and I'm just sitting here like listen, any goddamn time someone wants to take my seat at tribal and give me the night off, they're welcome to it. Denise Stapley is a cute look on some people, I guess. I'm just fine over here with my Cirie Fields kickback realness, I don't need tribal council, y'all can wait until FTC to give me a torch as far as I'm concerned.

What's the haps? Stress, angina, and crippling anxiety. Anyway. We won immunity which I'm real happy about because I can nOT go to tribal council. I absolutely refuse to lose and I'm really hoping I just make it to merge without attending a tribal council. For some reason I feel like I will I will either go to like the tribal before merge and leave at the first tribal I attend or I will make it to merge without losing and I will be merge boot. I really am happy because I feel like if we went to tribal council Drew would have targeted Autumn which is something I am SOOOO against. I literally sold my soul to that girl and that's who I'm riding with for the rest of the game. So because I love ha so much I kind spilled the beans to her about Drew targeting her. I feel like really bad about it though cause I do consider Drew a close friend but for some reason I'm really having a hard time trusting him. I just feel like he's only with me until he doesn't need me anymore and then he'll totally see me for the threat that I am and take me out. I feel so bad about it but I just feel like it's what I needed to do to show Autumn that I trust her and have her back. Because of that I think Autumn would've gone after Drew and I feel like I would've had to pick a side and I really just can't vote Drew out yet njvjsdfkdnsjk. I would literally feel terrible about it cause I usually don't turn on my close allies pre-merge but if he goes after Autumn then I have no other choice. As I'm typing this I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just tell Drew that I didn't want to vote Autumn out. Maybe he would've said ok we can target somebody else. Why don't I trust him enough to say that? Hmm idk I'm just so on edge. So a 4 person alliance was created and I'm soooooo happy. MY first alliance in this game! I finally feel have something I can maybe rely on and trust for a bit. It includes Autumn, Jake, and Tyler all of which I LOVEEEEE. Like omg this is my dream alliance I'm screaming. If we stick together we at least have enough to tie it. But who knows what will happen. I'm watching you JAKE >.>