#oh funky pirate man.. <3

[silverselfshippingchaos]

me??? making more gush posts??? more likely than you might think!

[baby-germany]

Meeting zoro and his old friends / Part (1/3)

I poured another mug of beer down my throat and stared blankly at the floor. Leaning back against the bar, I eyed the other patrons entering the pub, expecting it to be a pleasant evening and sometimes someone was rushing outside because they needed to vomit or take a toilet break. Of course, it would be too easy to just go to the toilet, wouldn't it?

As I watched the other people in the room, my gaze lingered on one particularly good-looking man. Two other men were sitting next to him at a table. They were chatting and laughing while the man in the centre downed one drink after another.

Just like me before, he looked around, but he didn't seem to look in my direction once. He had short green hair and wore a white blouse that seemed to fit him perfectly. The blouse emphasised his abs and other features. I couldn't make out much more from this distance, but if I wasn't mistaken, he was wearing three earrings in his left ear. There were three swords on the table, presumably belonging to the man and his boisterous friends.

I strained to listen to their conversation, but I couldn’t make out much of it. Out of nowhere, the bartender leaned over the bar and whispered in my ear, “Laid eyes on this man?” I turned to him and saw his amused smile. He was an old man with a gray beard and nearly closed eyes, yet he exuded charm. You found yourself visiting this bar often over the years because he always knew how to lighten the mood. After all, he was still a bartender.

“And if I did?” I replied, with a mocking undertone.

“Just wouldn’t recommend it,” he said. “I mean, you’re a thief, and he is the famous Pirate Hunter.”

“Oh? Who is he exactly? After all, there are many who adorn themselves with the title of pirate hunter” I asked.

“Roronoa Zoro” he whispered. My eyes widened as I glanced at the table where Zoro sat. I was shocked to see him now staring at me.

How did he hear us?

I wondered, but I shrugged off the feeling and set down my glass.

“Well…” I announced, “Wish me luck!” The bartender gave me a thumbs up, but his smile wasn’t entirely reassuring He seemed more like he would prepare himself to wipe the remains of my body from the floor once Zoro was done with me.

“Well, good evening, gentlemen.” I greeted the men and stood in front of them. One of them had long blond hair and was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt under a sleeveless brown jacket. He also wore greenish jeans and seemed to have choked on his drink as soon as he saw me. I felt a bit flattered by that.

“Good evening to you too” he smiled warmly and offered with his right hand for me to sit down beside him. I gladly accepted the invitation.

“Sure seems to be a busy night, doesn’t it?” the man with the funky hair spoke to me. He wore interesting sunglasses with blue shades and a watch on his left arm. He also wore a white coat. I thought he might be a Navy dude, which would make sense.

“I was thinking the same.” I nodded, and this seemed to please him because he smiled cockily and reached out for my hand. “My name is Johnny, sis.” he winked at me, or so I thought. It was hard to see what his eyes were doing while he was wearing those sunglasses. Seriously, who wore sunglasses indoors?

“I’m Yosaku,” the other man announced. We all looked at the man in the middle. I already knew his name, but I wanted him to tell me by himself. “Roronoa Zoro” he scoffed.

“Pleased to meet all of you. I’m Y/N.” I distantly shook Johnny’s hand but found myself lost in Zoro’s eyes, as his gaze didn’t leave mine. It was like he was figuring out how dangerous I could be.

“Pretty brave of you to wander around at this late hour,” Yosaku mumbled. “As a woman, it’s even more dangerous than for men like us…” he trailed off.

“No worries. I can take care of myself better than one might think,” I tried to ease his train of thought. “People often underestimate me.”

“But my bro has a point somehow. What are you doing here?” Johnny asked. I just shrugged and replied, “Doing what everyone’s doing. Getting drunk and making myself have a fun time?” It sounded more like a question, but I couldn’t help it. Zoro looked at me!

He seemed as though he was trying to memorize my every move. “And you thought we would be your perfect company?” Zoro asked with a bored expression.

“Well, yes,” I replied with a beaming smile, but Zoro continued to stare me down. “Was I wrong?” I inquired.

“Dunno” he replied and took another cup of beer. “Shesh.” I couldn’t help but comment, “You sure can drink a lot.” His gaze returned to me, and it almost seemed as though he had no emotions.

“I will be the greatest swordsman. There’s no way for me to get drunk from just some beer!” Zoro asserted.

“Oh, is that so?” I countered, my smug smile intact. Finally, I found something to talk about with this Zoro guy. He appeared to be a tough one, but that only made it more exciting. “That’s quite a big goal. Are you sure you can live up to this dream?” I asked, amused.

“Yeah. I’m gonna be the best.” Johnny chimed in with many comments, while Yosaku nodded repeatedly beside me. “Now you’re just boosting his ego.”

“He deserves it,” Johnny said confidently. “After all, he is our big bro.”

“Yeah, yeah. I got that part,” I laughed. “But…are you guys really related? You don’t look the same.” “That depends,” Yosaku hesitated. “Depending on what?” “Depending on whether you mean by blood or by heart” Johnny announced. Those two surely had big hearts with lots of love to give, as far as I could see.

“But back to the theme before. You should really be careful around here” Yosaku warned. “And why’s that?” I asked. “Because there’s a great thief wandering around. He stole not only a big amount of money but anything his fingers can touch.” Yosaku leaned in closer. “I’ve heard he even steals pretty ladies who go out for a late-night walk.” Cold sweat started to cover my neck. For me, it was obvious who they were talking about. It tempted me to tell them that the thief was actually a “she” and that they didn’t need to worry about me because the thief was me, but I better didn’t say that. After all, they were working with the Navy.

“Is that so?” I laughed it off.

I was pretty good at acting, so I could play it off easily. “Then I should find myself a person to walk me home later” I remarked, glancing around the room. I already knew what those guys were going to say.

“We could walk you home” Yosaku explained. “Yeah, we’re great at walking with pretty ladies to keep them safe, aren’t we, big bro?” Johnny said, a cool smile on his lips.

“Are we?” Zoro asked, not exactly thrilled at the thought of spending even one more second with this annoying woman (who happened to be me).

“Yes, we are!” Yosaku and Johnny chimed in simultaneously, setting down their drinks with determination. “Should we get going?” Johnny asked me, now seemingly enthusiastic.

“Already?” I raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you want, we could stay a bit longer…” Yosaku mumbled.

“Yeah, staying here a bit longer sounds about right” I reassured them.

“So,” Johnny said awkwardly, “we’ve spilled some details about ourselves, but what about you?”

“Me?” I was surprised. Most people didn’t care about me, but if someone asked, I might as well answer. “There’s not much about me to begin with. I’m a normal woman living in a cramped flat in this town. I moved in recently.”

“Really? Finally moving out of your parents’ house?” Johnny asked, amused, raising an eyebrow.

“Actually, my parents died, so I more like ran away and hid myself for quite a while.”

“Oh, my apologies, sis."Johnny’s tone turned sincere. It wasn’t surprising; most people reacted that way.

“You’re an idiot” Zoro muttered under his breath. I think he meant Johnny, but I wasn’t entirely sure.

“So, you’re a traveler?” Yosaku inquired.

“Yeah, you could say so. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep living here. I’ve spent quite a few years in this town, but never in the same house or flat. I really like it here, but you know, I always feel like I have to move on. So, I might head to a different town soon.”

“That sounds just like us!” Johnny exclaimed. I wasn’t entirely convinced we were exactly the same, but his infectious enthusiasm brought a smile to my lips. "Oh!" Johnny exclaimed, "Here comes a tought!" he proclaimed. "You say you're strong, my bros and I are strong … Why don't you join us?!" I almost choked on the air I was breathing. I never expected that, but it didn't bother me too much. "Wow," I said, a little stunned. "That's really nice of you. But … I think I'm more of a lone wolf, to be honest. I really appreciate your invention" I smiled sheepishly, hoping I hadn't hurt his feelings.

The night went on. Johnny tried to persuade me to join them many times after , but I kept saying no until Zoro grabbed his sword and stuck it under Johnny's chin. "Shut up for once, will ya?" he said, clearly annoyed by the whole situation. I was pretty sure the thought of having me as a teammate wasn't something he was hoping for in the future. Afterwards we had a laugh and a good chat. Mostly me and Johnny. He was a very talkative man. Zoro not so much, but that didn't matter. I think that's why I liked him.

Night fell and, as promised, the three men walked me home. Outside my front door, I turned around and smiled at them one last time. "Thank you" I said and for the first time in a long time I felt like I really meant it. "I haven't had such a nice evening for a long time." It may have sounded sad, but it was the truth. The life of a thief wasn't really as promising as it sounded. Johnny and yosaku stiffened and seemed shocked, which made me smile just a bit. A little while later, Johnny started talking nervously and yosaku scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Right then," Zoro said in his eternally similar-sounding voice, "See you around." He gave me a quick nod as to say goodbye, then grabbed the other two by their collars and tugged them behind him.

What a strange trio, I thought as soon as I was alone. But for whatever reason, I couldn't forget them.

[malicedafirenze]

so I finally got done watching S5 of The Dragon Prince and ghgnghghggngh why do I have such a mixed bag love hate relationship with this show (spoilers)

I want to love this show but there's so many things that just don't land and don't work, and yet here I am, hooked once again, because after 8 episodes of cringe humor and weird dialogue it fed me some crumbs of delicious Aaravos content.

I find so many of the accents so goddamn stilted and awkward. The french sun fire elves are the worst. I don't object to french-sounding elves in principle but dear lord does it sound unnatural and strained

SO much of the humor just does not land and the pacing of individual scenes is just ??? ATLA had some very kiddie humor here or there too, and I love the somewhat darker and more mature tone of TDP but jfc it feels like they need to hammer every joke home with so much time that you'd think they were planning for a laugh track

ep 8 and 9 were so much better than the whole rest of the season because once this show lets itself focus on action and drama, it's actually pretty fucking good, but for some reason you need to get through a first half season of awkward goofs.

Terry annoys me so much. Yay trans rep, but why the utterly random coming out out of nowhere (that was S04 I know but I watched it very recently okay) and his whole sounding like a therapist shit towards Claudia, like yes, it could be funny that this random wood elf does aroma therapy on his dark mage gf but everything somehow turns awkward in the execution

The library showdown was generally cool but the framing for why Amaya told them to leave without her was so fucking weird: you have this moment of Dragon Ex Machina, Zubeia wiping away the demon bears with ease, and then suddenly when Amaya is back in the frey after grabbing Bait, they're suddenly out of time and need to leave that instant??? Like I see what they were going for, obviously Zubeia was under real threat from the demon bears, but imo the framing/visualization of that threat did not work at all and I audibly went "WHY" at my screen at the random "you have to leave without me" thing.

That being said there's some shit that goes extremely hard and I'm here for it:

Rayla just fucking dismembering Claudia apparently wtf??

I enjoyed the sexy fish pirate man, I hope he survived getting eaten

I am an utter addict for Aaravos' voice and even the flashback repetitions in Janai's nightmares were legit enough to get my attention again

I am very excited for how someone is going to end up saving Viren's life against his will and I will gladly read fanfic of it

I had the 'our child' thing spoiled by being careless on tumblr but seeing it actually on screen was better than expected, love that for my OTP, toxic af parenthood is just what they needed

I really expected there to be more Aaravos since this show got renamed to Mystery of Aaravos false advertising smh.

They got creative with Dragon designs this season and I support that

out of all the things I found weird and cringe, I am 100% here for Zubaia getting randomly healed by a funky little gnome that calls himself the mushroom mage, 10/10 no notes

young viren hot

Rayla and Callum worked much better for me towards the end of the season when they got more comfortable with each other, love that for them, some delicious drama when the sexy fish man tortures them in front of each other, good for them, that's my shit

Considering all the things I liked about the last 2-3 episodes I feel nitpicky and weird for complaining about the first 7 or so but UGH it was a bit of a pain to get through them tbh. There is so much I deeply, deeply appreciate about what this show tries to do, as a high fantasy kids show with an overarching story, gorgeous visuals and explicit lgbtq and disability rep that I feel like an ass for complaining about it so much, but god damn there are so many things that are just unbearably cringe about it and OH MY GOD I just remembered the god damn "maybe you should express your love like a bee, here just move your tushy like that" scene holy FUCK can someone please give me an edit of this show with about three times the Aaravos screentime and all this second hand embarassment removed

[morgana-ren]

Are there any songs you associate with your ocs?Like, something that fits them?

Oh yeah, we both have a small list. Sea shanties work for any one of them, so I haven't put many of those on here. Obviously there's many more than this, but these are the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. Some of them are very circumstantial in a 'you had to be there' kind of way, but a lot of them are vague as well. Yeah, some of them are the stereotypical ones you see on lists like this, but hey, I've been hanging around for too long not to have some of those.

Here's a small list of my songs for each idiot:

Corvus

Mare of my Night - Týr

Bloodstains on the captain's log - Carach Angren

Pretty when you cry - Vast

I'm your nightmare - The Brains

Sweeter than wine - The Brains

Sweet Things - The Pretty Reckless

Novelty Crosses - The Black Dahlia Murder

Whisper - Burn the Ballroom

In this world or the one below - Assassin's Creed IV Black Flag

Mother Russia/Dominion - Sisters of Mercy

Pain - Boy Harsher

The Bondage Song (Unchained Mix) - London After Midnight (Slight flash warning)

Love you to death - London After Midnight

Keelhauled - Alestorm

Lorely - Blackmore's Night

One winged angel - Aurora Australis Music

Smells Blood - Kensuke Ushio

Fear and Delight - The Correspondents

The scorpion and the frog - Marc Senter

Cry little sister - The Anix

Scream - Avenged Sevenfold

Luci - Zand

He's a pirate - Falkkone

Ilya

Lingering in an imprint haunting - Carach Angren

Katyusha - Megaraptor

Бабушка - ПНЕВМОСЛОН

Yuve Yuve Yu - The Hu

Black Thunder - The Hu

Wolf Totem - The Hu

This is Mongol - The Hu

Kiss - London After Midnight

Lacrymosa - Kalafina

Swan Lake - The Agonist

Where good girls go to die - London After Midnight

Russian Girl - Женя Любич

ПЕСНЬ 1 - БАТЮШКА

Batse tsyku - Бетал Иванов

Грустная Сука - IC3PEAK

Dead but Pretty - IC3SPEAK

Это пройдёт - Pornofilmy

Дядя Володя - Pornofilmy

She's in Parties - Bauhaus

Bind, Torture, Kill - Suicide Commando

Alone again, or - The Damned

History of Artemisia - Junkie XL

I, Caligvla - Ex Deo

Doce Doce - Fred Bongusto

Astarion

The Masochisn Tango - Ringlefinch

Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom

Villainous Thing - Shayfer James

Hades OST... but it's funky - Alex Moukala Music

Bruises and Bitemarks - Good with Grenades

Danger! High Voltage - Electric Six

She dominates - Blitzkid

La Bomba- Lord of the Lost

Hit me like a man - The Pretty Reckless

After Dark - Tito y Tarantula

Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Choke - Royal and the Serpent

Hatefuck - The Bravery

Sex Hat Keine Macht - Oomph!

Tongues and Teeth - The Crane Wives

Lovesong - Snake River Conspiracy

Before I'm Dead - Kidneythieves

Metal Woman - 3 Inches of Blood

I'm Charming - Black Dahlia Murder

White Wedding - Billy Idol

You are a pirate - Alestorm

Bad Voodoo - Kreeps

Dead Girls are Easy - The 69 Eyes

Ex Mortis - Ice Nine Kills

Paradise - Satanicpornocultshop

Fuck Me - Vernon Jane

You belong to me - Cat Pierce

Reaver

Laisse tomber les filles - April March

Sisters - Pain of Salvation

Stand and Deliver - Adam & the Ants

The pain looks good on you - London After Midnight

Esmeralda - Burn the Ballroom

Love me, love me, love me - Kikuo

Who is she - I Monster

Gunslingers Glory - The Dead South

Gett off - Prince

Bloodsport - KMFDM Vs Skold

Gintleman's Club - The Dreadnoughts

Sleep is for the weak - The Dreadnoughts

Stupid Girl - Cold

Platz Eins - LINDEMANN

G Spot Micheal - LINDEMANN

Skin City - Steven Tyler

Violent Pornography - System of a Down

Santiano - The Longest Johns ft. SKALD

Sex - Oomph!

Follow me down - The Pretty Reckless

Amore Fermati - Fred Bongusto

Pervert - The Descendents

Your heart is as black as night - Melody Gardot

Bück Dich - Rammstein

[thelemoncoffee]

Hi hi!

For the Pirate Au post... :3

For a previous take I had on a pirate Au... I really loved the idea of Captain Kokichi and Gunman of another ship Shuichi (mainly he was right hand to captain Kaito, hence a rivalry in between the 2 crews)

They meet when Kaito and Kokichi's ships enter a fight and Shuichi is an absolute disaster at close combat, unfortunately engaging in it with none other than the enemy captain himself.

My idea did take a turn for the magic side, like I made Kokichi a sea witch, only around now deciding that man was done with life undersea, hence he took the Pirate life above the sea. And that would tie in with an in universe myth, that told how DICE (Kokichi's ship), was a ghost ship, vanishing from sight sometimes.

It was so long since I got back to it... But I am interested to hear what are your thoughts on it. :3

oh my god i love that. Kokichi deciding "underwater is boring, imma be a pirate" is just so good man. also the concept of his ship being described as a ghost ship is funky, i don't think that helps Kaito's nerves very much, considering his fear of ghosts. imagine your enemy being rumored to be a monster of your biggest fears.

[crowtrobotx]

Give us 3 things you like best about your top 3 blorbos plsnthx

I am going to stick to canon/not OC blorbos bc I feel like I talk too much about Lottie and everyone is annoyed by it

Hector Barbossa - (POTC)

I would be remiss to not first include the OG blorbo. The introductory Old Man. The character that made me realize something was a little Funky™️ about my gender/sexuality.

Okay, first of all, I love how sincerely full of himself this man is. He really thought he could pull Keira Knightley despite being the scrunkliest pirate on earth and you know what - good for him!!! Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars etc etc. We love an unconventionally attractive person who knows they’re hot shit.

The fashion sense/vibes - the fucking ostrich feathers in the hat. The rings. The big ass necklace. The single fang earring. The swagger walk. The matching pet monkey. The bisexuality of it all. In all seriousness, I love the way his outfit and accessories serve to play up his overly dramatic theater kid energy but also are very interesting when you consider that he came from extremely humble beginnings. He’s showing off what he’s fought tooth and nail for and it is working for him, honey.

I really, genuinely love that we got glimpses - in the first movie - of the fact that the character we were seeing wasn’t always like this. Ten years of being a walking corpse had twisted him beyond the recognition of people who knew him (even Jack looks pretty damn horrified a few times despite having been on the receiving end of his bad behavior before) and YET. When he gets resurrected we find out… he still sucks lmao. Like, he’s not outright cruel and isn’t totally insane anymore but he’s still ultimately just a selfish, snarky, conniving geezer who’s only part of the “good guys” because it serves him and his interests. There wasn’t really a redemption arc (the 4th and 5th movies are not canon, fight me) and he, at best, just ended up being the weird unsavory uncle to the main cast. What a king.

Sandor “The Hound” Clegane - ASOIAF/GoT

If you followed me prior to 2021 you know this was my prior HBIC (head blorbo in charge.) I still love him dearly and I hope he’s enjoying his retirement.

Look at him. No, really, look at him. Help??? Aside from me being a thirsty bitch, I have an extreme soft spot for characters who are visibly different and not in a purple eyes/horns/otherwise “sexy” way. Bodies are lived in and should look as such - and, this might be shocking to some people, disabled and/or disfigured people exist and they’re just as cool and hot and worthy as anyone else (I would know 😎.) I actually think the show should have gone a little harder on his burn scars but oh well. Sheesh, I need a cold shower.

His road trip arc with Arya. Need I say more? Y’all know I am WEAK for father/daughter dynamics and it’s even better when they’re both murderous lunatics. I love that she makes him softer but he doesn’t try to restrict or control her. I love that he tries to show that he cares in the only way that he knows how which is by teaching her how to rip/maim/tear/kill. Like, I know everyone enjoyed this part of the story because there were some genuinely hilarious moments and it was absurd, but I think under the surface we got some really fascinating insight into who he actually is and we were robbed of cranky but proud adoptive dad!Sandor in the show. I’ll be mad forever.

Fuck the city. Fuck the kingsguard. Fuck the king. We stan - I am obsessed with his realization that he doesn’t need or want to do anyone’s bidding anymore. I love that he turns heel but also has no idea who he is once he’s not Cersei’s dog - I love that he initially relies on his warped perception of people and the world to survive and slowly but surely begins to realize that maybe he doesn’t need to focus on revenge and violence all the time. I think it’s pretty obvious that GRRM is kind of going for a “a dog’s behavior will reflect its master’s” thing with him and if we ever get another book (lol) I am excited to see what becomes of him. Because he’s pretty clearly not actually dead.

Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil Village

Literally WHERE have you BEEN if you didn’t see this coming lol. The reigning champion. Completely unchallenged for over a year and a half. I am chewing on him as we speak like a squeaky toy.

Okay, like… obviously I’m very fond of his design. I love that he’s fat. I love that he’s got a super unkempt beard. I love that his hair is grey and that his clothes are dirty and he’s covered in scars. I love that he looks like someone who works (in contrast to Alcina, for example) and isn’t concerned with his appearance. This is such a small and shallow thing maybe but with the tendency for media to just make everyone Extremely Conventionally Attractive, I’m enamored by characters like this. Actually, this has been a thing across all three of these guys, hasn’t it? Hmm.

Completely love that he’s an actual genius with the apparent imagination of a little kid who just downed an entire box of sugary cereal. “What if I stuck this propellor engine onto a dude’s torso.” “Drill arms never hurt nobody.” “JET PACKS!!! I need jet packs!!!” He’s such a fucking nerd, too, like his deranged cackle followed by “…ending recording” on that tape you find is so cute and stupid. Karl what the hell is going on I love you so much. It makes me wonder who he would have or could have been if he hadn’t found himself kidnapped into an abusive cult - I’m getting strong “Bill Nye but make him chaotic neutral” vibes. Eccentric raccoon man. Peepaw is feral and I’m going to fuck him.

If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written with him in it, you know I like to play up the fact that it’s pretty clear (to me, at least) that the swagger and showmanship is a mask for… a lot of shit. And that is extremely compelling to me - even if it’s ultimately just my HC. The stutter, the “sorry about that” after Sturm keeps making noise, the diary entries and comments that seem to indicate he hates his body after what Miranda did to him, his pretty heartbreaking last words. I don’t really see the genuinely confident daddy dom that a lot of the fandom sees - and no hate if you do!!! For me, with the canon fact that he never leaves the factory, he reads to me like someone who is incredibly socially inept and inexperienced, someone who is struggling to accept what he is now, and, perhaps most importantly, someone who really believes he’s the hero of the story and is blind to the fact that his rage and pain have turned him into what he hates most. I feel like he says all these things that make him sound like he’s full of himself but then you see him and he’s… just some guy. Living in a dirty factory with clothes that should have been thrown out a long time ago. And he’s lost it, and he’s furious, and yeah on some level he’s a bit of a selfish jackass but I wonder how much of his posturing is him needing to hear himself say it because he doesn’t really believe it and is terrified he won’t be strong enough to free himself. I just love him, y’all. I’m not sure we’ll ever see him again (in RE canon) but I’m going to keep making content for him for a long time, I hope.

[neonwizardheehee]

tysm for the tag @his-mochi-cheeks your list is such a nice and groovy vibe, I enjoyed it a lot (also hiiii we haven't talked in a while I've missed ya hahahah XD)

rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first 10 tracks 🎵🎶♥️

be prepared mine will prob be a lot of 80s bc I've been a having a thing with them since NYE XP

Miss Me - Culture Club somehow I really like listening to this one esp in the mornings

Human Zoo - Boy George/Culture Club this is such a hopeful song! we're all able to find love one day <3

The Dive - Culture Club it's such a wonderful melody and the sea vibes <3

Antmusic - Adam and the Ants THIS ONE SLAPS SO HARD OKAY!!! it's so funky!!! the janky singing!! the lyrics with So unplug the jukebox and do us all a favour, that music's lost its taste so try another flavour, Antmusic!

Prince Charming - Adam and the Ants another whacky singing EPIC DRUMS and more nice lyrics ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Chilly Down - David Bowie from the movie Labyrinth - I LOVE the weird background singing!! right up my alley hehehe (altho I wish I'd know what they are singing hahaha)

Our House - Madness lovely music and singing about family shenanigans one can relate to <3 Somehow I love the fact they just wrote this everyday topic song instead of a love song or smth :3 also saxophone hehehe

Stand and Deliver - Adam and the Ants I love this a loooot!! the fashion! the whacky singing again!! also drrrrrums!!! pirates!!! and the lyrics: I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention The devil take your stereo and your record collection (oh-oh) The way you look you'll qualify for next year's old age pension Stand and deliver your money or your life Try and use a mirror no bullet or a knife I'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion

Krone der Schöpfung - Die Prinzen okay that one is a surprise but yeah the song slaps imo B) it's about how humans think they are better beings than everything else :3

Sold - Boy George OH BOI YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS that one drives me insaaane in a good way! it's so big and grim and oh BOI the similarities to 'Fame' are PEAK with his voice for me. also the "being sold" part can somehow be applied to so many things and situations

So there you have it XDD 10 80s songs I'm going insane over rn - also I checked 9/30 song in my 'on repeat' are not from the 80s.... we could've had some My Chem or mcyt stuff XDD

Tagging some ppl if you're up for it (u obv don't have to uwu) - oh man i love checking out music and talking about new finds :3 @darksidelightside @the-only-hope-for-me-is-coffee @isadora-greenhall @fearforthestorm @maschinen-mensch @sarahbordelonsblog

[ssaakuraaa]

songs 2 listen 2 at full volume/my fav songs

dream of you

zoom

fantastic baby

fire saturday

fine

girls like us

girls talk

stripper

$$$

step back

DUMB DUMB - somi

run away - txt

abracadabra

adios

snapping

ALL IN

ancient dreams in a modern land

apple

back door

the baddest

the baddest female

bazooka!

beam beam

beauty full

bicycle

black mamba

black or white

blink

blow your mind

bon bon chocolat

boombayah

boyfriend

the boys

breaking out

bring the noize

burn - sunmi

butterfly - wjsn

can’t get you out of my mind

carpool

cast pearls before swine

cause i’m god girl

changing!

cheese

cherry - itzy

chica

chiquita

cheese in the trap

close to me

c’mon

coin

crazy kids

comme does garçons

#cookie jar

cool

cooler than me

cool for the summer

dangerous in love

ddd

kill this love

ddu du ddu du

dmt

do it again

domino

don’t give a what

i’m the trend

dumdi dumdi

don’t know what to do

donttrustme

do what we like

dun dun

egoist

eight

electra heart

empire - gidle

everybody’s got a $ecret

everyday

e.v.o.l

fake & true

fancy

first

flipp!ng a coin

forever young

funky boy

gee

get it

get loud

get up

gingamingayo

girls are back

given-taken

good girl

gotta go - sunmi

got that boom

the great mermaid

gunshot

g.u.y.

happily ever after

hate me, hurt me, love me

helicopter

hide & seek

hit

holiday

hobgoblin

hollywood

honey

hot - twice

hot summer

i am the best

iD

i don’t miss u

i’m not cool

in my dreams

in & out

umpah umpah

sunny side up!

tiki-taka (99%)

in the summer

is this bad bitch number?

jigsaw

joker

july 7th

jumpin’

killing me

la di da

boca

lalalay

uh-oh

latata

liar

louder

love4eva

hi high

love dive

love fool

love foolish

love line

love spell

love to hate me

lucid dream

luckitty-cat

lunatic

luv me

mago

maison

make me go

maria

how you like that

pretty savage

marionette

mary jane holland

me

memeM

memories

mercy

milkshake

miniskirt

mirror mirror

monster

mr.mr.

mr. taxi

mumumumuch

highway to heaven

my bag

my heart skip a beat

naughty

neon

never stop me

nobody like you

noir

player

not friends

oh!

oh sorry ya

oops!

oopsy

oscar

pantomime

parade

anymore

love it if we made it

bees & honey

paradisin’

party

pieces of love

ping pong - hyuna&dawn

ping pong - cherry bullet

pirate

piri

pitapat

play

pop/stars

pretty psycho

paint the town

queen - 3ye

queen - twice

rainbow

really bad boy

rollin’ - brave girls

rookie

royal

eleven

savage

run2u

bamboleo

run the world (girls)

sahara

salute

say my name

see u later

senorita

sexxx dreams

shake it

shot clock

show

shut down

siesta

siren

smiley

solar

sorry not sorry - itzy

spark

stay tonight

dumhdurum

stuck in my head

sunset

unnatural

super moon

sweet & easy

swine

thank you

thunderous

ting ting ting

tomboy

touchdown

trap

trick it

turn it up

turn me on

uni

untouchable

va va voom

pound the alarm

ven para

vivid

voltage

wa da da

want it?

wave

we go

what’s your name

whatta man

what the flower

who dis?

wildside

wild wild west

wish you were sober

woo!ah!

wow thing

yeppi yeppi

yessir

you and me together

you better not

yummy yummy love

zoo - red velvet

zombie

expectations - girls day

the long night

rum pum pum pum

happiness

that kavka shishido song that’s like dadida idk the translation💀

holler - girls generation

home - yezi

like a cat

locked inside a door

perfect world

baby blue love

fuK u lol

no love again

zimzalabim

oh my summer

pretty boys

psycho - soyeon

follow the white rabbit

people watching

breakfast at a funeral

fire - taeyeon

fire - 2ne1

i`m a B

red lights

selfish - moonbyul

lovers in the night

popsicle

bother me

something

show! show! show!

lxxk 2 u

your teeth in my neck

flowerld

heat - loona

0x1=lovesong

door

fairy of shampoo

lion

fearless

good boy gone bad

wannabe

ffw

running up that hill

rock with you

what you waiting for? - gwen stafani

chi mat ba ram

grwm

hula hoop

wow

stereotype

so bad

butterfly - loona

cherry (real miracle)

love cherry motion

what you waiting for - somi

dumb dumb - red velvet

good day

i’m so sick

1-4-3

like this summer

love shhh!

mayday - sohodolls

heart attack - loona

tank

o.o

blue flame

circus

ready or not

drive

purr

dancing queen - girls generation

bungee

deep

privacy

telepath

overdrive

pose - loona

maniac

sassy me

doomchita

classy

don’t call me again

sweet summer day

xoxo

slow down - stayc

jackpot - red velvet

stylish

sweet talk

tamed-dashed

top girl

lalisa

that that

sappy

falling in love

after school

hello - joy

feel my rhythm

miroh

taste

buenos aires

good luck

b.b.b big baby baby

catch the stars

ring my bell

that’s a no no

the night is still young

short hair

pop

villain

up!

x

devil

xs

[kr1swashere]

I've been procrastinating watching encanto because I couldn't find any pirated versions in English

So now I've watched encanto, but in my mother tongue: Hungarian (although I spoiled the entire thing for myself before)

I'll be rating everyone, we don't talk about Bruno will be included in the rating for everyone in the song

Conclusions:

Abuela Alma's voice was terrible. She had one singular moment where I found it acceptable.

wdtab: that one single line she has is the best part of the song here help. 4.5/10. Deducted .5 because she doesn't have an accent

Pepa also doesn't have an accent or that tinge of nasallyness.

Wdtab: "I created a hurricane" takes away from her blaming Bruno

Okay listen. Since she's the first one saying "we don't talk about Bruno no no no" I count it as her line (since everyone just starts following her)

- there's no "no"s. Instead the transition of it is like "don't even mention it/him(Hungarian doesn't have gendered pronouns) this name has ling been forbidden. The name Bruno is forbidden" 2/10 kept her personality fairly alright

Felix:. No. He sounds like the whitest out of them. Why would you do this.

Wdtab: okay this one's actually okay. 5/10 plus points for being Felix.

Dolores: SHE'S SPEAKING LOUD. HOW. HOW DARE YOU. YOU LITERALLY TOOK HER CHARACTER AWAY

Her squeek is terrible please. It's bad. It's so bad. It sounds like if Isabella wanted to to it but she was actually a stuck up bitch and like 20000% worse

Wdtab: this is the only part in the movie where she whispered(not really). Not emphatic towards Bruno in the slightest. Also, speaking in past tense for half her first verse. 0/10. How dare they

Camilo: I didn't even notice him bro. Hes literally my favorite (with Dolores and Bruno and Mirabel and Antonio) and he's invisible.

Wdtab: his lyrics aren't bad, his voice just doesn't fit it. "Isabella your boyfriend's here" is actually pretty good When he talks about rats (not along his back. They're just an army here) he does a funny haha thing with his voice. 6/10

(+ fish lady: lyrics terrible. The fat guy idk: FUNKY FUNNY LYRICS. ONE GOOD THING IN THIS DUB. Priest looking baldie: eh)

Antonio: I just love him. Little boi. Baby. He's gonna grow up to be like Bruno and Camilo. Gremlin in the making. 8/10 deducted 2 points because I hate the Hungarian language. Also Hungary.

Julieta: still has no lines. I love her tho 7/10

Agustín: lines where? Anyway, funky man. Love him. 7/10

Isabella: no. Absolutely not. How dare you.

Wdtab: Bruno ENCOURAGED her to follow her dreams in this translation. Absolutely terrible. She sounds whiny. 3/10

Luisa: so uh. No? Thanks. Sure, could have been worse. Still bad.

In surface pressure: still bad. Lyrics are not very good. 4/10

Mirabel: Ah yes, let's make the main character (who is not white.) Sound like a generic 30 year old white woman recovering from drug addiction.

Wdtab: why. She barely has lines. How can you make it so bad. 0/10 "come now, whisper their (the vision's) meaning to me Bruno" sounds weird.

Bruno: LOOK. ITS MY FAVOURITE RAT MA- oh they ruined him. The wood knocking superstition is bad too. 4/10

[fagtainsparklez]

so i'm planing this fic and like i say it's tommy-centric but it really isn't. and i'm thinking of having the captain be like a funky dragon lad and has anxiety and worships lady ianite but i have no idea how i'd write that so like help?

hey now. as much as im a bitch about tommy-centric fics. no shame in writing one if that's what you like!! as long as it's properly tagged you don't have to skirt around it or shy away. if you're writing something tommy-centric, own it!!!

that said, i can absolutely give some tips! ofc, the most obvious answer would be to watch some mianite eps, but i'm aware they can get extremely long when they're lore-heavy, so here's some tips!

don't be afraid to make him curse a bit!! especially if you're basing him off of his mianite version. current-day cc!jordan doesn't swear on-screen for monetization purposes, but when you think about it, he swears a LOT if you just replace his censors with the actual curse words they represent. don't shy away from having him have the mouth of a sailor at times (pun fully intended, considering he was a pirate!!)

as much as he can have his serious, badass moments, he's also just a fucking nerd. he gets on tangents easily, and takes hypotheticals WAY too seriously. yknow when people say ranboo goes on stream and just shows symptoms? jordan is fucking full of symptoms. just all of them at once. he laughs at his own jokes so hard his ribs hurt, even though literally no one else was laughing. his puns are bad enough to deal psychic damage.

you're on a good track by acknowledging he's just a ball of anxiety sometimes!! he. cares a lot about how people see him and how he comes off. not in the self-centered sense, just in the overall socially anxious sense. he cares ESPECIALLY about how ianite sees him. he lives to make her proud

oh! on that note! jordan doesn't really say ianite's name to her face often. or in general. he calls her "my lady" in the absolutely fondest tone known to man <3

overall, jordan is just. loyal to ianite to dangerous degrees. overall, she's a fairly reasonable goddess. she wouldn't order him to just kill someone for the sake of it. but if she did, he would do it without hesitation. if ianite told jordan to jump off a bridge he would do it before she even finished her sentence. she's sometimes put-off by this, but it's something she ends up getting somewhat used to

if there's anything else you'd want me to expand on, i'd be more than glad to!!! i love rambling about these two. individually or together. they r my beloveds <3

[cryptidofthekeys]

Chase rates/ranks: Mark Ego Edition

Alrighty its time for me to literally list egos from number one rank to the very last BUT also, im rating them in a weird sorta way too just,, alright here we fuckin GOOOOO- its the iplier egos, not doing the septic egos ...not yet- i might make another list remember this is just,, my list/rating and its literally only for fun, i rotate fictional men in my mind constantly, so consistency? HAH! Anyways... I’ll start off with the number system (also going to include wkm characters, like William BEFORE he became Wilford or Damien before like ya know)

Also y o u! @vileandvenom

You wanted to be tagged so there ya go also under a keep reading bc this shit’s LONG also im not including Stan bc let me tell you RIGHT off the bat, uh Stan has his own list, its the dad list, hes NUMBER one on that list, that’s all I’ll say.

-------------------

1: now I know y’all might be thinking oh he likes Bim VERY much so its obviously him! ...uhh your not... NOT wrong on that one ...but, no my number one pick is Markus/Murdock I fucking LOVE him to b i t s like he is my new number one favorite hands down (i decided last minute to rate them ALONG with the rankings so yeah)

But Markus Murdock mans!!! murder mans!! I fucking love him, im on my knees with a wedding ring right the fuck now, now just... w a i t hang on, h-hear me out, please, no- dont judge me- HES,, HES UM, I KNOW HES A MURDERER BUT... HES CUTE, HES SCRUNGLY! he scratches the horror angst itch in my brain, so uh 10/10 obviously

2: Bim Trimmer, okay look, he HAS to be number two bc I literally called him my fictional husband for fucks sake- listen, I love Bim VERY much, i still do, im also giving him a wedding ring, hes probably not accepting it bc its not fancy or expensive enough for him BUT I am still offering- like s i r, please, ONE chance, ONE SINGULAR chance- I will HAPPILY compete on the gameshow, if i just so happen to get turned into a fuckin burger or whatever it was- i mean, worth it- ...So another 10/10 (there can be MULTIPLE 10/10s shhh) ...also unironically i associate him to the sound of ‘Cannibal by Kesha’ ...but to be different, also? ...Eat You - Caravan of Thieves

----------------------

3: Yancy... FUCKIN JAILBIRD MUSICAL MAN!!! HELLO HI SIR, YOUR COOL, YOU GIVE ME GENDER, AND ALSO THO??? I FUCKING TALK LIKE HIM ON RANDOM OCCASIONS, sometimes its conscious sometimes its just an unconscious choice, almost like I get possessed by the man himself, im constantly quoting ‘get da fuck outta here’ from the bloopers but sometimes i’ll say ‘dey’ or ‘youse’ or something along those lines, just y’all have n o idea how much I love this guy, he’s so funky, big strong tough mans ...10/10 also associate Yancy with a lotta musicals in general but also i get gangster vibes from him so songs like that, nothing in particular

------------------------

4: CAPTAIN MAGNUM, DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING Y’ALL??? HES A FUCKING P I R A T E!!!! HES. A. P I R A T E. THATS ALL HE NEEDS TO BE- listen, i LOVE pirates immensely so, pirates are so fucking cool and just ag hjbfhjdksljgdfs- Magnum seems like such a sweet lad, i’d hold his big hand even though it’d probs engulf and crush mine OR he’d wind up lifting me up by the arm bc he’s REALLY tall hr g h... t-tall men... <3 another 10/10 also associate him with so many sea shanties but mm for a song? ...This Ship’s Going Down by Voltaire

----------------------------

5: Eric Derekson!! Listen,, i love this anxious man, we can be anxiety buddies just probably apart because ya know making eye contact is one thing but also legit talking is another, so sometimes we’ll simply glance at each other before looking away and getting more stressed and worried by the second, we also struggle with confidence issues on the occasion so yeah! I love him very much, probs has sweaty hands so im not sure i wanna hold em but he’s very polite and nice looking and would treat me right so wholeheartedly, not to say certain others wouldn’t, he’d just be... like,, listen hes just h i m- 10/10 (also hate that I’ve seen some babying shit of him at one point, it was n O T fun :/) dont have a song association with him but i get vibes of him like, listening to some form of chill lofi type music for some reason

------------------------------

6: Wilford Warfstache!! cotton candy man!! bubblegum bitch!!! my beloved hi hello!!!! I love him very much, mark literally saying ‘hes the one you want!’ or something along those lines j u s t, he is completely right and this is very true bc even tho hes number 6 on this list, I love this funky dude with all my heart, this weird eldritch fucker who can pop wormholes with knives and not even r e a l i z e hes the one who did it, what a fucked up man ...also sad backstory, go d d a m n- ...10/10 ...listen I promise, I genuinely promise this list will NOT ALL be 10/10s

but Warfstache despite his murdering ways, i do genuinely love the funky lad, he gives me gender in a v e r y strange way, i’d love to try on some of his clothes- like the suspenders is s u c h a look also he looks like he’d give AMAZING hugs and I KNOW he would, i associate him heavily with ‘hug me! bring it in!’ jfgkddfjs

--------------------------------

7: Darkiplier! I love hims!!! I know he’s a manipulator but u g h whatever,, i dont care- like jokes on y’all, at this point in my life y’all REALLY think I could tell if he was EVER manipulating me? N a h- I could never tell the difference between the shit he says! He’s a fucked up dude who probably shouldn’t REALLY exist bc he’s like an amalgamation of two people or whatever but he does, he’s gender bc of that- i get gender envy from him bc of that fact apparently but either way, his ringing does hurt my ears though, i h a t e high pitched noises so i could never be around him for too long of a time also can’t stare at him too much or else my eyes get fucky, so bc of those two im going to say 8/10, i’d like to hold his hand too but i know he probs wouldn’t let me, he doesnt give me very affectionate vibes, i associate him with Michael Bublé singing Sway very heavily.

----------------------------------

8: Googleplier (including all of them in one) but! I love Googs! All of them- I mean they all are pretty mean, pretty rude- BUT I fucking love robot characters so they gets a pass ...plus legit i love mean rude dudes so eh- I would want to hold their hands but they would definitely not allow it, not affectionate in the slightest- It would be interesting bc like I do have a few questions I’d love to ask them, I mean their a sentient robotic being, they’ve got a PLETHRA of knowledge and im just a curious dude about a lot of shit, despite them being mean and pretty fucked up, I’d still treat them nicely, i’d be kind and sweet to em all ...i was about to say i’d make food for them but uh im not sure,, they can eat really... so oops... but I’d still be nice to em regardless- sooo... I have to say another 8/10. I have no songs I associate either of them with ....BUT for fun uh the Underground song from the movie Robots.

-----------------------------------

9: The Host!!! I love this funky ass narrator dude, like he does give off some scary ass vibes, like there’s no telling what he’s capable of but also,, I love his aesthetics s o damn much, his coat is cool, i’d wear it honestly- in all honesty I’d sit down and listen to The Host like ALL the time, he could talk about so much random shit that I don’t even comprehend but I’d sit there listening intently, he might give off scary vibes or something unnerving but also in a weird sorta way, he also gives off, comforting vibes? Like, he seems like he’d be MUCH quieter than the other egos ...well MOST of them anyways- and it’d be nice to chill with him, read some books together, I’d love to hear Host’s recs for any horror books in all honesty, his lil weird narration powers are unique and such a cool concept to me! Idk how affectionate Host would be, probs not super good at it but i dont care really, i just wanna hear his stories man- 9/10 ...wish there was more of him- ...honestly i dont have songs i associate him with BUT just those asmr-esque videos of like, pens scribbling down, flipping through books, just... LIBRARY sounds in general i get those vibes from him.

----------------------------------

10: THE JIMS!!! Jim, Jim, their cousin Jim, mama Jim, papa Jim, brother Jim, Jimantha, just the ENTIRE Jim family tree, i fucking love The Jims, the reporters have big scrunkle energy, would probs get on my nerves s o fast but all in all it could be fun hanging around them, their funky, weird, stupid- like INCREDIBLY stupid but that’s part of their charm, The Jims are the funniest characters and concepts to me and im tired of pretending their not gkfjlddjfks just...

...

...

Jim.

all in all a real whopping Jim outta Jim y’all ngl ...I’ve got one song that I know probs doesn’t make sense BUT I fucking love associating them with the Pink Panther them, it fits with their hijinks.

------------------------------------------

11: Yandereiplier ....now just, wait a minute y’all wait a minute wait a minute- just, hear me out... now I KNOW she’s a yandere... I KNOW their supposed to be bad, evil, whatever- ....but he... he’s so fucking lovely nfjkdlsjdfsa I love Yandereiplier immensely... NOT because of my bias toward yanderes, NOT Bc i love the concept of yanderes (i should clarify, none of that shit irl, bc thats,, weird and fucked up ...BUT in fiction o o g h!!! THE ANGST, THE HORROR, I E A T THAT UP) theres literally nothing to their character (i usually use he/she/they pronouns for em btw, thats uh my headcanon i guess) BUT the potential is there, I just like her a lot ...Also he’s got a fucking s w o r d so that’s awesome but their mostly a 6/10, i dont think bout them a LOT in all honesty, they’d be EXTREMELY affectionate and super clingy to an extreme point, also no song association bc listen, I could make a FUCKING PLAYLIST for this character in like 5 mins with the songs I have, there’s too many to choose from.

-------------------------------------

12: Dr. Iplier ....in ISWM i dont care if y’all say ‘oh thats not him its just somethin Mark did for the bit’ no, thats him- that is ABSOLUTELY him, you cannot look me in my goddamn eyes and convince me that’s NOT Dr. Iplier- that’s totally him, all in all made me want to slam the door shut on him ...maybe- ...or maybe he didnt- guess we’ll never know hahahaha ...but anyways, I like Dr. Iplier, not super crazy bout him, just another doctor but one to add to the kinda good list i guess? ...But also I swear to god say ‘im sorry you’re dying’ one more time and Im going to SHOW you whose gonna be dying in the next 5 minutes, overall not super crazy bout him, probs a solid 5/10, I’ll give him the middle ground at the very least- for funsies i’ll associate him with that one song that goes ‘doctor doctor give me the news’

------------------------------------

13: Actor Mark ...I can say i absolutely loathe and hate him and believe me, I do, I absolutely despise this man ....but also ... . . . <3 his fucking character i swear to god, there’s just something about him that genuinely gets me every single time, I fucking despise this man but I also kinda love him im not going to lie, hes my blorbo most detested, its like a weird sorta love/hate relationship going on here- do i want to hold his hand? Yes but do i also want to punch him right in his stupid face? ...Also yes- like I can say I hate the man as much as I want to and it be true ...but also, ya know, just o o g h- ....7/10 that’s all I’ll say, Idk what song I associate with Actor, there’s probs a few im not thinking of right now but eh.

--------------------------------------

14: Illinois ...0/10, next ego

. . .

I’m joking- gkfjdlfdkjs I love Illinois BUT not as much as the fandom, like hes alright, that ego (no pun intended) on him is REALLY big, like god- he just,, he really can just ooze confidence out huh? Like bitch, stop hogging it, give ME some of that confidence- VERY egotistical, thinks hes hot shit, he is hot- I MEAN UM... AHEM- I do love adventures but im not sure i could stand being around him for long periods of time, another hate/love relationship BUT its less hatred and I mean a LOT less hatred than Actor Mark ...even despite uh Actor being above Illinois here ...tbh I stopped paying attention the number past like,, 9 or ten gfjkdjdfsl I got lazy RRRREAL fast, but overall I’d give him an 8/10, definitely one step up from Actor for sure- dont have a song for him so eh

----------------------------------

15: William J Barnum aka The Colonel, I did say I was going to include the wkm before things got fucky and since I’ve stopped truly paying attention to the numbers well here we are, I uh- I do love The Colonel in some ways, idk he gives me weird vibes- not as funky or fun as Wilford but on the bright side before shit got real fucked up he was admittedly pretty normal, not confusing at all in the slightest and I do LOVE to see him, ya know, NOT broken and traumatized... Idk, im like- i love The Colonel like I said but im also feeling kinda neutral, i dont think about him a lot in all honesty, I think bout Wilford WAY more than when he was William, Imma have to go with 5/10 on this one, I associate him with that fuckin jumanji music essentially

------------------------------------

16: Damien!!! Another of my beloved despite being number 16! oh my god despite being a mayor of sorts I’d- honestly I’d trust him with all my heart- I love Damien very much so, hes a big source of comfort even if Dark is lower on the numbers than he is, again i stopped caring like a big ago gfldkfjgds i said i was gonna number these n shit properly but my hands are gonna be tired after this but ANYWAYS- Damien is such a lovable dude, like genuinely i just wish to hold his hands- I know he’d let me, definitely- I’d feel comfortable and safe around Damien he just gives off soft, loving, and caring vibes to me, like heck even if hes doing boring paperwork shit or talking bout like, idk whatever mayors do I wouldn’t mind hanging around or listening to it, will my brain process any of it? ...No, absolutely not <3 but I just like his voice, his voice is very soothing to me

gonna have to give him a 10/10 all the way through just bc hes definitely a good source of comfort even if I think bout other characters a lot more often technically speaking. Uhh I don’t think I have a song to associate him with really? Not one I can think of at the moment anyways but uh yeah.

-----------------------

17: Bing and Mini Bing, again their robots, I love robots, but uh I’d get s o fucking fed up with them s o goddamn fast imma be honest, like they ARE lovable but my g o d, i just do not think i could hang around them for long periods of time, probs WAY more affectionate than the Googles BUT, idk- i dont feel a strong connection toward the Bings in all honesty ...it might be because uh I have a bad association with the ACTUAL Bing fgjkdljgfds it took over my o l d computer somehow (it was v i r u s related shit i should clarify) but still gfkdlgjdfsl either way, i’d hang out with them for about 10 minutes, tops and that’s it so overall a 4/10, not the ABSOLUTE worst but not the best either.

---------------------------------

18: Harold B Darrensworth, not a lot to say bout this one in all honesty, he almost never crosses my mind ...so meh not a big fan, probs a 3/10 ...definitely better than CERTAIN other egos im going to be getting into in a few minutes, I could absolutely tolerate the Bings more than him though ...it could also be my hatred for authorities being the reason i dont,, like him very much

---------------------------------

19: The Author which im p sure,, didnt he get like,, turned into The Host? I can’t remember my Author lore but either way, I do like him, he was cool either way, i dont think bout The Author TOO much but he’s got an interesting concept, an interesting character, I feel like Actor and him would get along swimmingly, their both nasty bitches who love suffering in stories ...but hey, so am I, all three of us could shake hands on loving to torment characters in our stories, but mm im feelin 5/10, i do like him a good bit but i dont,, think bout him too often- hes alright tho, dont have a song association with him in particular.

----------------------------------

20: Randal Voorhees which im sure has no relation to Jason Voorhees... ...Like Dr. Iplier, i dont care if like one of y’all is like ‘Chase, again, this was just a bit character’ ITS FUCKING RANDAL GODDAMN VOORHEES JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR WAS DR. IPLIER- MY MIND WILL NOT BE CHANGED, IT’LL NEVER BE CHANGED END OF STORY ...but anyways uh yeah, hes okay i guess- i fucking hate the ‘come’ sign like the doctor i was so ready to slam the door in their faces, like that ‘come’ sign is going to haunt me for the rest of my life along with the pizza box (im not rating all those fuckers, just, all those excluding Randal and uh Dr. Iplier are at LEAST 1/10s) but Randal? ...meh 5/10, just pls man get rid of the come sign- for the love of god get rid of the come sign

--------------------------------------

21: Silver Shepherd ...1/10, i literally do NOT care about this dude at all, like ok hes a basic bland hero, meh- i mean i suppose to each their own but i n e v e r think bout this dude BUT I will give him a 1/10 bc at the very least hes better than certain others, no song associations for him nor Randal really- only thing i can hear for Randal which i forgot to mention is like fuckin L O U D ASS CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS

------------------------------------

22: Santiplier! jhfkdlfgjd god this is such an old bastard, im surprised i even REMEMBERED him, i love him but i would not hesitate to smack that bitch immediately tho, i feel not much love for him but i’d hang out with him just hear him bitch bout shit, like we’d be gossiping bitches but it’d be h a t e gossiping, just things n people we fucking h a t e, ...in a weird sorta way we might get along- ...3/10 i never think bout him but hes WAY better than Silver or the fuckin P*rniplier egos or whatever the fandom’s calling them

23: King of The Squirrels! ...I really hate the mess, just, eugh- that peanut butter literally makes me gag whenever i see it on his face, he just,, i think hes alright, he seems very polite, just a stupid ass motherfucker (affectionate) i just could n o t be around him and look at that for one but two, if that mess got on me i’d be freaking out- i know you can wash it off but ya know its,, just,, gross ...but still a 3/10

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24: Engineer Mark just for funsies, uh straight up 8/10 ...im sorry for mistaking you for Actor and tormenting and making your life a living hell but also you uh, shouldn’t have done shit with that warp core either, but im very sorry for mistaking you for that cunt, my bad <3 i dont think bout Engineer Mark much but hes nice, and cool- no song association i can think of

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25: Old Man Mark .... I fucking love him, hes like,, hes just,, hes grandpa- like Stan is my dad- Old Man Mark is my fictional grandpa dude,, i love him very much but in a strictly platonic way, bc thats,, thats my fuckin grandpa dude- even if he did try to stab me but hey,, i was kinda being a bastard so ya know but 10/10, love ya gramps HJVFGKDLJGFDKS- i dont have a song association at all in all honesty

------------------------------

26: Noir Mark/Detective Mark... unsure if he has a canonical name yet or if we’re just sticking to Noir Mark BUT ... *sweeps nonexistent hair behind ear* ...hello, hiii sirrr... ar...are you... p-perhaps, um... maybe looking... f-for a uhhh new, maybe a new partner? ...I want to be his partner, granted I know my number one fave is uh making this questionable but SHHH!! dont tell him... Just, uh I see him and for everyone who loves this fucker? ...I get it, I totally get it <3 ...he be s o fine ...also his aesthetic is genuinely so appealing I LOVE the noir type shit, the detective aesthetic, its just so good- 10/10 for sure- also definitely anything jazz i associate with him, the s o f t kinda jazz, also i’d love to just be in his office and listen to that jazz while he files paperwork or whatever, like i dont care what hes doing i wanna listen to some t u n e s, i’d feel comfortable and safe around him, I mean he IS a detective after all

---------------------------------

27: Ed Edgar and Derek Derekson- im grouping them in bc im tired but I HATE THESE FUCKERS S O MUCH,, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY THROW DOWN WITH THEM AND I WOULD W I N, I WOULD BEAT THESE TWO WITH A FUCKIN RUSTY ASS SPOON, listen one thing y’all need to know about me is I fucking LOATHE and DESPISE these two in particular, there is no ‘love/hate’ relationship here it is LITERALLY just fucking h a t r e d, just- I hope they choke on a motherfucking cheese stick, those nasty greasy bitches, they look like they drink white gatorade and smell like NICKELS! 0/10 period. Silver, Santa, even the fuckin PRON EGOS- ARE BETTER THAN THESE TWO- i harbor an unbridled rage toward them, ya wanna know what song association these two fuckers get?

NOTHING, not even a SONG- they get NOTHING from me, they lose! Theystolefizzyliftingdrinks! but they just LOSE! They get NOTHING- not even a good day sirs, no b a d day in fact- so yeah my hatred is unbridled toward them lmao

anyways uh that’s literally all- now i probs did forget like maybe one or two fuckers outta the bunch BUT,, oh well, if y’all really want, just send an ask, tell me if i forgotten somebody and i’ll rank em for ya

[loudestcloud]

Time for Luffy's fashion exam! Now, I'll be honest, I did skip an outfit because I decided I will be ending this whole thing with the Strawhat fashion show in Episode of Luffy. Also, sorry for the posting gap, I remembered I have other unfinished post sets. That being said, this is a very long one so let's do this!

Kid Luffy, Post-Enies Lobby & Fish-Man Island: I think it's super cute when Luffy has white t shirts with red based logos because it reminds me of the first picture. Makes him look baby plus, they can always be found in cute domestic EPs or fun, cute flashbacks. The shorts change over time and that's also kinda cute, a range of cuffs is a nice change up. It's nice to see the red contrast the blue shorts and the white is a nice color on him cos it contrast his hair!

Romance Dawn, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark, Sabaody Archipelago, Amazon Lily, Marineford & last Dressrosa outfit: This look is the pre Luffy look. It's the pre Timeskip look everyone thinks of is cuffed shorts, Kimono sandels and sleeveless vest (and Strawhat, obviously) but have you ever seen them all in a line? It's mad. Each outfit is the same basic look bit more are more spicy each time! I like the Thriller Bark and Sabaody Archipelago looks a little bit more cos it's nice to see that jacket open and it feels like he was trying something new. I also feel that the buttons on the jacket look like the ones on Shanks' pegged ankle sailor pants when we first see him so that's cool. (it took me hours to find the name for his trousers, oh my fucking god) The last Dressrosa outfit feels like a nice callback to the rest of the line up here without being too much cos it's just a red vest top instead and I do find it funny it's like the Enies Lobby and it's used in Dressrosa because of the jokes people make about Robin and Law being so similar.

Timeskip: This is it lads, it's the one true icon itself, the post look! ☺️ When I sit back and look at it I see all the people this look is influenced by and want to cry at how masterful it really is. (Now, I do wanna say that I didn't come up with this nor am I the first to say it and I am definitely probably looking too much into this but) The yellow belt is taken from Shanks' red belt the first time we see him and the Shanks look Luffy is more familiar with. Now onto the jacket. I know it won't stand out as to why for most but it's Ace inspired! When Ace leave to become a pirate, the start of his adventure, he has his jacket open and Luffy having his jacket open also shows his scar from the ending of Ace's adventure. I also really appreciate how no one hides scars in this anime. Also, someone said that the style of the jacket and it's fancy frills could be in reference to Sabo's little jabot collar and honestly I do see it. it's quite subtle unlike Shanks' but not as hard to catch as Ace's so I enjoy thinking that it's there too. Lastly, he still has his cuffed shorts and kimono sandels because it's still Luffy's outfit at the end of the day and he is still who is is, just with a stronger appreciation of what people have done for him now. It's also his colour pallette for the pure fact he is the main character n needs his pallet. also sometimes he just has normal wooden sandels but the same outfit sometimes, it's a small detil a lot of people overlook but I prefer the sound of his Kimono sandels 😊

Dressrosa: I love this outfit cos it's stilly but also has very nice vibes. Looks ready for the beach but is really throwing hands and that's the best kind of outfit, it's a nice expectation subversion tbh. I also like how he tried to hide the Straw hat but not... All of it? And I love how the crew didn't actually question it either. It would have been super easy for one of them to just tell him to leave it behind or something but I do really love how respectful they always are of the hat. I myself have a hat that's super important to me and when I loose it I go mad.

Whole Cake Island: I love this arc for outfits! I swear if the actual content of it doesn't kill me, the act looks will 😭 it's all so magical and it knows it is! Like I said before, white is a good color on him as he has black hair but for the same reason, so is black! In this arcs outfit range, the Staw hat seems almost invisible and his outfit gets less and less 'Luffy' as the arc gose on showing this is not about him. He's not the focus of this arc and you can see that in a lot of the outfits thb. I also like the lack of blue and yellow, 2/3 of his colors as Sanji is often associated with those too as we've talked about before. Also, I like the little red strips on the white jacket with the gold buttons, idk why and I think it's nice that the last 2 outfits are so simple in general, it's a nice look for him. oh, what's that? A Pink jabot? Your killing me Lu, straight up killing me here lil' bro! Side note, is this the first time in canon Luffy has worn a suit jacket or is it the only time I've noticed? Cos DAMM!! Shits sick as fuck and I actually love that when wearing a suit jacket as such he always keep short on 😆

Spa Island, Z's Ambition & Strong World: WHOS READY FOR A RELAXING SUNNY DAAAYY!? (pun not intended but very much enjoyed) I actually adore the fact Luffy still tries to go swimming cos it was his favourite thing to do as a kid so like fuck Luffy is gonna give up on that. He's got his safety measures ready, what more do you want from him? I mean I personally want him not to swim with his hat on cos it's litrally Staw and that's not good for water but anyway Z's Ambition, am I right!? The top is so fucking cute and I just noticed those shorts are also ✨designer✨ fancy man!! Now, the pic of Zoro is the one I missed out before and it's also from Z's Ambition. I love that Luffy has the shark top but Zoro has the ocean shorts. I really love Zoro in this purple cos and thick white stripes really work with the ocean waves. It's really well put together and hes got dark brown sandels on to off set all the white but keep the purple from being a stand out color, it's cool! Than the last Luffy looks like he's at a fashion show. It looks like the shorts come from a kids set the shark top belongs to. Imagine those together, it'd be so cute. However, it isn't an ocean patten, those are clouds cos Nami has a bikini top with the same pattern in Skypiea and it's actually one of my favourites for her.

Boss Luffy Historical Special! This filler AU is so much fun, I think any it a lot. He has his hair up in that super cute and useless way that doesn't actually do much but I do have my hair like that a lot n it's just... nice? Idk, it's strange buy I like he did that. I really enjoy his Kimono more that the actual Wano one cos it's a lot more simple look. The Sai being tucked in in that way is also cool but kinda makes it look like it's stabbing him a bit 👁️👄👁️. I like the pin strips being like a faded purpleish cos if you just glance at it, it makes it look it fuzzy. The belt also looks very nice with the middle ligter bit. It really feels like the Wano one was inspired by this is a way cos of the color matches. Like, it's probably not but still.

3D2Y, Adventure of Nebulandia 😍 & Heart of Gold: Hat-less Luffy is both a sin and a blessing. Regardless, I LOVE OP BOYS IN HOODIES!! I had to show you this specific the 3D2Y because we don't see the hood and it's soooo cute cos it a paw 😍 but also 😬 cos it's like... Kuma's paw the thing that cause 3D2Y in the first place. But that's also why it's so cool at the same time and AHHHHHH 😄 Now! On to Nebulandia! I really like this movie but also in canon, how does he have that jumper? Who made it for him and can I have one? It's Usopp flag design so I guess it could be him but he doesn't seem the type. Point is I want one. Last of this set is some really cosy outfits!! "How much fur?" "Yes" am I right? Like the first one is sooooo cosy with all the fur! Plus, a funky new bamboo hat, always a good thing to have a new hat. I appreciate that you can see the zips on these too. Then the orange turtle neck one with little fluffy bits is just here cos it's so out of his usual looks, I had to at least mention it.

Strong world & Film Z: The shorts on the first one are really cute cos it's a light rosey pink with red fur and just a plain solid dark blue colour jacket works really well. Not to mention the fact he has a super cute orange and yellow flight helmet hat with goggles on under the Staw hat. The 2 bag straps also make an X which is a nice detail. The 2nd outfits in this movie are super fuckin cool ngl. It's so strange to see them all dress in black and have guns but I like the red shirt for him with the yellow highlighted parts. Makes the Straw hat actually work with the outfit instead of ignoring it. Film Z brings us the same flight helmet hat just brighter and without the goggles but also opens with this T-Shirt and Luffy being silly with it. I think that's the only reason to mention it, it's funny. Then the obligation pirate outfit, always stunning plus the meat belt.

Film: Gold & Stampede (also used in Cidre Guild): these are my top 3 Luffy outfits no matter what else I see. I love the straw cowboy hat sooooo much cos it's very Luffy. I like the balls they has as a team to choose white for all of them, considering they are all quite messy people, living for that dad shirt and I like the Golden chain around his neck but am always confused as to why it was never used against him. Like dude could and should have tried to choke him at least once, right? Anyway, the dress! Now, the dress isn't actually that good but it's my favourite because it shows how Luffy has no fucks about gendered things. On to of that, a big pink flower is wonderful and look at his confidences in it, he's so proud of it the boom, Nami told him he can't wear it! Lastly, the Stampede outfit!!! Just like the Nebulandia jumper, I have no idea who made it but it's irrelevant cos it's beautiful and I want it so badly. I like that it's white and red stripes, gives thenprefect vibes for Stampedes opening. The shirt is actually too big for him, you can see on his arms but it's actually super cute. I love the simple look of these shorts then the fact his yellow belt is replaced with white bandages and the black on the kimono sandels are now red? It's such a simple pallet and it's truly the best!

I also just wanna add, I think it's really cute when Luffy has the Straw hat on his back just cos his hair is really cute. Idk why, it's looks kinda cursed but cute at the same time

This post took 2 weeks or so to make and we made listening to the complete BNHA soundtrack, film gold OST and Sonic generations vol.1

Sanji

Zoro

Nami

[im-the-punk-who]

Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?

Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom! 

Oof. That’s a question. xD 

I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings. 

Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)

AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.

I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show. 

Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room. 

But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.

OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog. 

OKAY! SO! 

My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:

The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:

The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman, 

The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters. 

SO.

Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search. 

Let me reiterate the important bit there. 

In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show. 

This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.

It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so. 

Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.

And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.

So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show. 

Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.

And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’

But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully. 

It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team. 

In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover! 

(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.

Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias. 

There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )

Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him. 

The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.

SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t! 

Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D

SURPRISE!

The Maroons and the Maroon War

So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism. 

And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’  that is doomed to failure after six months.

That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.) 

There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep. 

Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver. 

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.

The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people. 

Gross, pirates. Gross.

Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***

COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth. 

Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.

(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)

(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)

Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like. 

***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together. 

***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point. 

***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.

But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack. 

And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.) 

You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew. 

The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.

And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.

In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general

***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)

Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM. 

But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’ 

And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show. 

Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)

And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet. 

So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.

Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies. 

Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives. 

God damnit Steinberg.

James Flint, mlm extraordinaire

Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll. 

~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~

My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:

What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man. 

Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.

The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men. 

From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.

Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know. 

It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).

Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.) 

Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious. 

But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.

Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross. 

I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’

Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.

Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either. 

ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!

[reversecreek]

pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

[spinyax]

fusion au part 2: electric boogaloo (part 1 here)

featuring Man O' War and fusion origin stores (under the cut bc i get Wordy lmao)

Man O’ War -

Chip/Jay/Gill

They/Them

Surprisingly stable for a 3 person fusion

Bioluminescent (the tops of their coral/antler crown, the tops of their fingers, plus some designs on their wing/fin(???) membrane i have yet to make

VERY fast swimmer, the arm wings/fins help

real big, they cant be formed on the boat

unless they're formed bc of an emergency they'll just kinda sit and enjoy existing

they don't really talk (they're never in a situation where they really need to tbf) but if they did they’d have a funky voice overlap

their name is based off the portuguese man o' war (animal), which aren't one animal! it's a colony of multiple little animals and i feel it really fit for a fusion. also the man o war (ship) was probably the last thing you'd ever want to see (and ever would see) as a pirate

---

some fusion origin stories bc i got some words in my head i need to get out

Osprey

first formed before they met gill, probably the night before they left jay’s island

Jay snuck out at night to the beach to hang out with this random bastard that’s been hanging around the tavern bc he seems lonely and she feels weirdly drawn to him

Idk how it comes up, but chip tries and fails to mimic jay’s dance she does at the tavern, and she tries to correct him, dancing with him

They accidentally fuse and turn into Osprey, who’s very confused

They stand up on shaky legs and hobble over to the water to get a good look at themself, meanwhile internally jay is freaking out

They get a look at their face and audibly say “damn im fine as hell” before immediately unfusing

Jay freaks the fuck out and runs away, leaving chip in the sand with a lot more emotions that he’s used to dealing with

The next night, chip comes back to the tavern and before jay can tell him to fuck off he tells her he saw some of her memories about drey and that’s he’s looking for him as well, along with the rest of the blackrose pirates

They run off that night

I have an idea for how osprey meets gill but i don't have the Strength to write it out rn

Thresher

Post episode 16: chip/gill fought and made up, but things are a little shaky between them

Gillion approached jay one night and asks about fusion, since he saw chip/jay fuse a few weeks ago (scenario i haven't written out yet) and he was curious about it

I don't know if i want to make fusion a Surface thing or just an unspoken/taboo topic in the Undersea but gill doesn't know much about it for that reason

He says he’d ask chip but he’s still unsure if he can truly trust chip with cultural knowledge anymore

Jay internally sheeshes at that last part at tells him what she knows about fusion

Gillion asks if the two of them could fuse and jay says it’s unlikely (fusions are usually done between super close friends/lovers. Osprey is an outlier and should not be counted) but there’s no harm in trying

They dance

I imagine it’s kinda like medieval line dancing, all stiff and formal. Gill is taking it Super Seriously and jay’s trying not to laugh

Jay trips and gillion rushes to catch her, and they form Thresher

Cut to chip, who’s asleep but wakes up when a shadow looms over him and a clawed finger pokes his face, then he opens his eye and screams (think about him waking up to amanda) bc holy shit that’s a demon (they do be lookin kinda bad tho :fuckboy emoji:)

The hot demon doesn't move, and slowly chip feels like he recognizes it? Those fins look familiar and hey isn’t that jay’s pin- Oh Fuck that’s a fusion

He lets out a shaky “hi” and asks if they're a fusion. Thresher kinda tilts their head like a puppy then nods. He asks for their name and they let out a growly “Thresher” that does nothing to help his current state of fear (or arousal). He tells them to go on the deck and figure out more about themself, it’s not everyday you make a new fusion y’know. They nod and grumble something in a demon-sounding language (primordial but chip doesn't know that) and go back up deck

They unfuse later that day and ask chip what they thought of thresher. He says they were ok

Actual feelings: he was Afeared and Aroused and feeling Many emotions that he’s not ready to process just yet.

(Bastard) Moray

Ill be real im open to any/all ideas for moray’s origin story (and moray in general) bc i feel like i have the weakest grasp on his whole deal

Takes place during some fantasy arc that happens off-screen (yes im aware that the crew really haven't been together for long but i simply ignore canon sometimes)

They're raiding some island cave for treasure and good news: they found it and have it on them. Bad news: it triggered a trap and now they’re running for their lives from a cave-in

They’re about to make it out when jay rolls a 1 and trips just before the exit and gets covered in rubble (with one arm out for the Drama of it all)

Chip and gill freak out and try to dig her out with their bare hands with little success, and then freak out more

(WAIT A SECOND GALAXY BRAIN IDEA)

Chip gets an idea and grabs gill by the shoulders

Chip: fuse with me

Gill: what???

Then chip fuckin dips him back and kisses the fuck out of him

Both get nat 20’s (obviously) and fuse into Moray

Moray spends the first few moments of his existence excited bc wow!!!!! He’s alive!!!! but then realizes Oh Shit, Friend is Trapped

With terrifying strength he lifts the rubble with two arms and extracts jay with the other two. She’s bruised and unconscious, but breathing so Moray takes that as a win and heads back to the ship.

A few hours later jay wakes up and goes onto the deck to see Moray doing whatever the fuck moray would do and gets super confused

Moray sees jay and goes !!!!!!! :D and runs over and picks her up bc friend ok !!!!

jay's fuckin dying bc on one hand she's happy the two of them fused but on the other hand oh god he's a handful (and he's holding her up with one hand what the fuck)

the two of them spend the rest of the day figuring out what moray can do (stuff i havent thought out yet lmao)

[thejudgingtrash]

Now hold up I would personally love to hear a full rant on this supposed adaptation I have never heard of until now. Like, legitimately, I wanna know what you have to say about this cause you seem to be one of the most valid PJO blogs

Uhhh what??? Me one of the most valid PJO blogs??? What kinda crack have you been smoking WHAT afahsgjskdh.

But still thank you 😊🥺🙈

Alright, you wanted a rant. You got a rant. Fuck the positives let’s just straight up jump into my aggression.

WARNING: Massive rant with a lot of swear words. If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to ignore this. I personally haven’t worked in Hollyweird, but I had some behind the scenes stuff here in Europe going on for a short period and also the trusty words of my college professors. So here will be a lot of prediction and speculation involved. Yes, I know that I’m a huge hypocrite for voicing my opinions based on stuff that hasn’t been pushed through in months and that I could be easily proven wrong in a few weeks/months. Still thank you should you actually take the time to read through this tomfuckery.

If things are wrong, please DO correct me!

Links to further reads will be included partially.

TL;DR: Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

Okay. First things first:

DISNEY

DOESN’T

GIVE

A

SINGLE

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

Disney is a fucking multi-billion dollar corporation with many, many, many studios, stations, brands and franchises worldwide. The Percy Jackson franchise is a dime in a dozen. Disney doesn’t give a single fuck about the PJO fandom in general.

Disney doesn’t give a fuck about you 20-something year old with your 9 year old blog discussing which toilet paper brand Percy uses. And Disney also doesn’t give a fuck about you 16 year old, writing the worst fucking Solangelo fanfic I’ve read so far on this hellsite. Like goddamn.

Trust me, they know you are interested. They know they got you hooked. They see the numbers, they see the like/reblog ratio, they see the Twitter engagement. They see you with #disneyadaptpercyjackson. They see the petitions, they see how excited you were for the musical. You don’t get to be a gigantic conglomerate like Disney with playing stupid.

Also to you fuckfarts saying oH nO I wOn’T wAtCh It I dOn’T cArE aBoUt NeW sTuFf. Congrats dipshit. You are STILL alerting followers and people about what’s happening and creating more buzz, giving more awareness and adding to the transaction costs. You really cheated the system, you little edgelord. Again:

You are nothing but a number. You are a fucking walking dollar bill. You are a consumer waiting for a new shiny product to fill the void in your life for 45 minutes weekly or by two hours at some point.

The PJO movies 1. & 2 happened for a reason. Because Fox saw a popular book series á la Harry Potter, Twilight (and The Hunger Games) and wanted a piece of that action. They wanted your fucking money. Them entirely fucking up and ignoring Riordan’s advice is on them of course. But still. The movies happened. (And also saw people saying they were flops. Reception wise: hell yes. They are awful adaptations (not per se awful movies, there’s a difference). But money wise?? They made together over 245 million dollars in profit. Of course, that isn’t today’s Marvel level but it’s still fairly decent. Also don’t forget that the second movie still got greenlit. Interest was still there despite part one. You disliking something doesn’t turn it into a flop)).

Again, Disney doesn’t care about you. THIS is what Disney cares about:

1. MONEY

2. PROFIT

3. ENGAGEMENT

4. TOTAL GROSS

5. CONVERSION RATES

11. …. “Artistry“

So in terms of money, we gotta speak about the on-going woke culture. You know, lgbtqia+ stuff, poc representation and all the good shit we want and need in our life, right?

Well, I got bad news for ya. Disney being money hungry has its massive downsides. Because where is the money? In the east. Well and what happens if we include the woke stuff? Possible censorships (even retroactively! You know Gravity Falls went through that), bans, etc.

So all of you talking about representation and artistic vision and being bold and brave and blablabla… Throw that into the fucking trash. We can probably be glad if we get Grover back as the token black kid and a few other minorities sprinkled here and there. Open gay Nico? Doubt it. Your afro-latino Percy head canon? Definitely keep that but unlikely to be realized. And also, if you think that Annabeth wouldn’t get turned into the blandest whitest “I dOn’T nEeD nO mAn“ radfem, I got some bad news for ya…

The likelihood of everything being dumbed down, toned down with the exception of a few adult jokes or being even partially censored (depending on certain regions) is very, very high.

Also what makes you think we’re even getting close to the Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo saga? I doubt you will see The Seven for a long time unless Riordan really says fuck it and throws his final ace card into Disney’s filthy greedy mouth.

So if Disney doesn’t have the fandom’s interest at heart, what are they interested in? Well… MONEY. Also NEW engagement. They know your funky ass is going to tune in. They know people will pirate the shit (Me waving like a maniac), they all KNOW that. Again, they aren’t stupid.

So: MORE engagement. MORE money. How do we get even more engagement? By luring new people into the fandom. Who is most likely going to get lured into a family friendly show/movie series because let’s not forget that we’re talking about Disney+? The targeted audience of the books. Who is the targeted audience of the books? MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 11 to 14 year olds. Disney wants those kids’ (well their parents’ hard earned) money. They want to sell products, in that case books + Disney Plus subscriptions + possible merch. There you also have the likely future rating for the fucking show. Sorry to disappoint everyone that was hoping for gritty Game of Thrones filled with 12 year olds (like seriously wtf?).

Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the outlook on the show/movie and Riordan’s influence that you people clearly overestimate.

How much power or say does Rick Riordan actually have?

ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

He’s in the worst fucking lose-lose-situation you could imagine.

Disney owns the books and Fox owns the movie rights. Wait. Fox got bought. By whom you ask? DISNEY, what a coincidence! In Rick Riordan’s own words:

Disney has him by his fucking balls and could crush them at any minute. And if you think, that Disney is letting go of that sweet sweet intellectual property you are fucking mistaken. Riordan isn’t a J.K. Rowling who OWNS the Wizarding World. You have no idea what Disney are capable of with massive lobbying that goes so far to influence copyright laws in the States (LINK)

So you can stop harassing him about a fucking Netflix adaptation as well! Or petitions that do nothing but annoy people.

These negotiations take up YEARS to get the simplest stuff done. No need to shit your pants whenever Riordan’s tweeting stuff.

Still: would Disney be fucking mad to do this without him? Absolutely!

Should Disney involve him to prevent a PJO movie 2.0 scenario?

Yes, they definitely should!

But CAN Disney do this without him?

OF COURSE THEY CAN! THEY OWN EVERYTHING.

In Riordan’s own words:

Read carefully what he has written. He doesn’t say he’s going to halter productions, he’s saying HE WON’T BE A PART OF IT. This also makes me curious about WHO approached WHO in the first place (my guess Disney tried to make some amendments because Fox ain’t shit and trying to alienate the author again would be a goddamn stupid move). Disney has the fucking film rights. Of course they can pump out shit without involving him. They could pull a Fantastic Four (the awful 2015 version) just to keep the rights and for the fuck of it.

There are the following possibilities with Riordan’s involvement:

1. Riordan as a producer: Dude’s gotta be loaded. We know that. But backing the production costs many, many, many millions and I don’t know if he’s THAT loaded. Also film producing isn’t his forte.

2. Riordan as a screenplay writer: Now we’re getting closer to something. Yes, many productions these days have authors directly involved which is great! But also can go the other way around (J.K. Rowling and her Grindelwald fiasco. Author’s do NEED to learn when to stop intermeddling with their franchises, just saying) Book writing and screenplay writing are two very DIFFERENT disciplines. You don’t have the liberties of book writing when it comes to film. The screenplay is the guide for the entire production, the visuals, the set design, the whole atmosphere of the product, the very first thing that needs to be done so that directors, designers and lastly the casted actors know what they have to do. Everything has to come to a point in a very short time and there are many, many, many versions of a screenplay before a final raw draft gets handed out. If that isn’t in Riordan’s interest (which I can completely understand) then that’s simply not happening

3. Riordan as a guide: Directors, screenplay writers, etc. sit down with Riordan on a regular basis to show him the written screenplay, which actors they have in mind, the whole vision and he has a mini veto right.

If you ask me, a mix of scenario 2 and 3 is the most likely to be the most successful. That means, that Riordan needs to have a good faithful team, that sticks closely to the source material. That isn’t guaranteed! Again: look at the PJO movies. But of course, we don’t know the internals of these meetings.

So… now the final part. The whole fucking “Animation vs. Live action“ debate. Well, both sides have their pro’s and con’s. And both sides are filled with a bunch of fucking morons. I won’t try to get you to either side.

But to those that want are begging for a live action version with age-appropriate actors I have the following to say:

FUCK

YOU

IN

PARTICULAR!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS DISNEY AND THE SHADY SHIT GOING ON THERE SO THAT YOU CAN BE ENTERTAINED FOR SOME MERE MINUTES?!

Oh my god…. You people REALLY really want a fourth wave Me Too movement in 15-20 years. Not every Hollyweird kid has a helicopter parent hovering around them on set and many do get abused/robbed by their parents. And the people involved in the production! Of course, animation has still a chance of this happening but the risk is somewhat lower when it just comes to voice acting.

Tbh, I actually wouldn’t mind an aged-up cast again just to prevent this as best as possible. Unfortunately, child actors will always be needed.

I have nothing much to add to this, I’ll just drop a link to an old small post from me about that right here (LINK)

Personally I lean more towards animation but in the big picture I won’t care. (Also the whole animation is for kids and dumbs down the whole narrative for PJO is fucking stupid, boo boo the fool. You being in your late teens/twenties and grown out of the targeted audience is the cause of nature. Animation can be mature or would you show Attack on Titan or South Park to your 8 year old cousin?)

I’ll be just tuning in to see if this is as messy as I’d expect it to be or to be pleasantly surprised.

Also again: this process is a long one. It’s going to be exhausting, depressing, demanding, pushing.

From the meetings now that will take a very long time, to a screenplay, which can take YEARS in finalizing, to hiring staff, location hunting and set design (should they go the live action route), to casting, to costume design, to rehearsing/production, to filming, to dispersing, to editing, to fx, to finishing, to marketing, to publishing, NOTHING IS SET IN STONE! This is a very, very, very, wanky process despite contracts and everything on paper. Let’s not forget, Disney can afford some good lawyers.

And even if everything goes as smoothly as possible. Higher up people could see the final edit of everything with editors having scenes close to the books in an a/b/c/d cut and some producer says NO! I want an c/a/b/d version that again fucks up the dynamics of the books. Or something terrible: everything is shot and done and THEN it get’s postponed. Or even fucking worse: SHELVED to be NEVER RELEASED. Aka Henry Selick’s career after Coraline (Coraline from 2009 is STILL his latest release because of his fucked up Disney contract and them cancelling his shit). Millions of dollars wasted and we won’t get to see ANYTHING. This is all very possible and happens constantly in the film business AND at Disney. This is nothing new.

And there’s nothing we can do about it. No one cares about Riordan, no one cares about the books, no one cares about the fandom.

DISNEY holds the cards. DISNEY gets to decide. Neither Riordan, nor you nor me hold ANY power in this.

So kids… what have we learned today? In conclusion:

Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.

WHEW.