#oh god there we go thats all of em

[spinspoon]

ello have some more objects while i draw

i made a very chaotic relationship chart im putting below the cut if anyone's interested

[alex-just-vibing]

i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism

[volivolition]

Idk if you saw or not but a new chapter of the fury of a shattered mirror dropped last night! I haven’t read it yet but I thought I should let you know 😎👍

awughgh HELL YEAH!! ive been away from my laptop for a while so i didnt see, thank you birdy!! :] this is the best news ive had all day hkjgh <33 excited very excited going to read it now <33

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i'm not gonna feel bad about saying it anymore even if i want to. he's literally the biggest covert narcissist i've ever seen up close. it's shocking the way i fell for it, it makes me feel so stupid. he postures like he's a stray puppy on your doorstep in the rain; please let him into your warm, dry house and feed him. and he really, really lives in this act. i'm sure he thoroughly believes it himself. he believes all of his lies he tells himself about how innocent and unseeming he is.

when i first met him i pitied him so deeply; i thought wow, i've never seen such a sympathetic creature. he has nobody. he's helpless. well that is true. he has nobody because he can't maintain healthy boundaries with anybody. and he's helpless because he can't be helped. there is no such thing as a completely hapless victim in this world, especially not at an adult age.

don't let anyone position themselves like they're just a lost little boy in front of you. you'll excuse shit because you think it's naivety or immaturity. and it might very well be those things. i'm sure he's as ignorant and childish as he believes he is, as he fears he is deep down. but you won't come along with your compassion and your worldly wisdom and rear him up well. no, he's stuck like this. gentle encouragement doesn't work with him.

what he needs is a stiff fucking reality check, to look himself in the mirror and recognize his faults. you won't get him to do that after he's manipulated you into excusing all of them. he'll break your spirit before you break his, and his is one that needs to be broken. but it can't be. it's self-sufficient through all of the misery he inflicts onto himself. it thrives on that. the more people draw reasonable lines and tell him not to step over them, the more he'll think he's trapped by the world. when these are the same lines everybody else lives through.

once you find yourself in a situation where someone makes you feel guilty for doing anything without them or saying no to them, go johnny go. go go. you are past the point where you can expect them to respect a boundary. but that's the hardest point to recognize it, when you feel like you've helped them so much but still not enough. you still have hope that your kindness will do anything for them. it won't. and this is a lost message on anybody who needs to hear it in the moment, because they've already been manipulated not to see their situation for what it is. but it's an awe-striking realization to have in retrospect. and it feels like there's no catharsis, because for all the work you put into helping (which eventually becomes fixing) that person, nothing was actually done.

beware of the sympathy vampire. someone you immediately find your heart bleeding for like never before. they know they are draining it from you, and they never plan on giving it back. never. when you come to expect the least amount of kindness reciprocated after all you've done for them, you won't get it. and that is the point you'll realize the whole relationship was never what you thought it was, and you'll have more issues than whatever it was you came to them with, expecting them to help you like you always have for them.

[coloursofaparadox]

i ✨️cannot sleep✨️ and vaguing about shit on the internet feels more cathartic than writing it out somewhere else. suffer.

[titaswrld]

Hi! I like your Deadpool as your boyfriend post, can you please do Logan as your boyfriend next? 😄

logan howlett (wolvie)

…as your boyfriend!

description: wolverine, logan howlett as your boyfriend!

pairing: wolvie x you!

|an: my man my man he love me!

- he’s so big and so tall and scruffy and so mmm. that’s your man! and u want everyone to know it

- like i keep mentioning, he is manhandling tf out of you no matter ur size, all the time!

- he thinks it’s soo cute that he can pick you up in his arms with ease and he loves to hear squeal out a “logaaan!” as he throws you on to the bed

- he’s so standoffish and kinda shy when you’re first around each other bc he’s sooo into you and he thinks you’re so cute

- but once he founds out you dig him too ooo girl

- he grows such a big soft spot for you, you’re the only person that ever sees him vulnerable. and he’s such a silly goose.

- he becomes so much more himself, he’s messing with you all the time throwing teasing insults with a smirk on his face just to watch you get all riled up from him.

- he’s also flirting with you 24/7 girl he’s hot and he knows it. sometimes he’s rather crude but you like it. so it’s okay!

“nice shorts you got there little lady” he said with a teasing tone as you walked past him into the kitchen to grab a quick snack.

“god they’re not even that short!” you’d said, pulling them down a bit. they were that short. but hey, they did the job.

and by job, you mean drive logan crazy.

- but once you become his omg…

- you’re his. nobody is touching you and he’ll make sure of that. and it’s pretty hot.

- if anybody even has body language that even slightly seems like they’re into you oh girl….

- they’re becoming a new scratching post!

- not only are you his, but he’s yours. super loyal! and if he can’t get someone off his back, you bet your ass you will!

- you always feel so protected and he always makes you feel so protected because you are! he would do anything for you and to make sure his lover is safe and sound.

- he’s so obsessed with you and he’s not afraid to hide it, he’s not overly affectionate but he is in fact a cuddle monster.

- he’ll hold your hand, or shove a hand in your back pocket, or lend you his jacket to let people know your his, but he saves the good stuff for back at home.

- you’re also his drinking buddy, he isn’t a fan of the tequila like you are, he’ll stick to his whiskey. but he always takes care of you after a night out and makes sure you’re snug as a bug!

- he is the biggest dom ever omg it’s so hard to get him to sub out for you but when he finally does it’s the best night of your life.

- all the noises he makes that you’ve never heard from him are music to your ears.

- a MUNCH. need i say more? thats why he got that damn beard!

- oh and we know those abs are like a pack of buttered up hawaiian rolls and you wanna go for a ride!

- of course he’ll let you! anything for his babygirl, lick em, touch em, fuck em, anything his baby wants. as long as he gets to watch and as long as you feel good.

- he also loves the praise as you ride yourself out on his abs.

- he loves attention and praise, especially when it’s about his figure.

you and logan lie in bed, his figure cradling yours as he slowly felt you slot your head between his craned arm.

“your muscles are so big babe. give me a lil flex.” you stated, holding on to outside of his forearm with your neck between the underside his forearm and bicep.

“you’re crazy bub.” he states, chuckling and lightly flexing his arm, not enough to hurt you but enough to satisfy you and make you giggle as his big muscles squished your cheeks together.

- you’re always touching his muscles, they’re so hot. and hey, he doesn’t work out like that for nothing! he loves it when you cling to his biceps, or run your fingers down his chiseled back.

[ghostfacd]

IN A WORLD FULL OF BOYS, HE’S A GENTLEMAN ! | TOM BLYTH

PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader

SUMMARY. despite being in a world filled of childish boys, your boyfriend was definitely a gentleman, always putting you before him

AUTHORS NOTE. the third installment because we love tom blyth and yn avocot. I recommend reading part 1 and 2 for more context!

tomblyth “babe, do you think we’re together in every universe?” is that even a question?

tagged @/ynuser

view all comments

ynuser stoppp i didn’t know youd actually take the question seriously

user1 get you a man like tom blyth bc oh my god

user2 idk what yn did to manifest him but i need her ways

user3 ugh idk what he’s doing with her lol he could do so much better

➥ user4 well someone had to say it..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You didn’t understand how some people on the internet can be so . . . mean. Although there have been countless of fans cheering you and Tom on, it didn’t make it any less hurtful that there were still a ton who weren’t scared to be open about how much your boyfriend could do better.

It’s ironic; you think. They’re claiming they’re looking out for Tom, yet totally disregarding him and his girlfriend as human beings? Those weren’t real fans.

The reason for them hating you so much? Just for simply being with Tom. Everybody wanted him, that was your crime.

Everytime you got lost in your thoughts about this topic, Tom knew. Boyfriend instincts, he called them, but really, he was just a caring and observant person.

You tried not to break down over it, you really did, but a girl could only go on for so long before it all bursts out. Luckily, Tom pulls you right in, telling you to let it all out.

Although the world was filled with childish and hurtful beings, Tom Blyth was still who he was, a gentleman, attending to your every needs.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

tomblyth really dgaf if you like my girlfriend or not cause i do and that’s all that matters

view all comments

user5 im cryinf the polaroid he has of her

user6 YES REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THEIR GFS

user7 ALL THE PICS HE HAS OF HER 🥹🥹

tomblythswife oh to be yn avocot and be loved by tom blyth

rachelzegler tell ‘em 🙊

user8 she doesn’t even comment on the posts he makes abt her, so self centered lol

➥ ynuser I’m right next to him rn?? cant say the same thing about you “lol”

➥ user9 OH SHE ATE YOU UP @/user8

tomblyth_daily here are some clips of tom talking about his relationship in his new interview! GET YOU A MAN THATS LIKE TOM BLYTH 🗣️🗣️🗣️

view all comments

user10 the way he’s so passionate when talking about her and being a good boyfriend, God I hate being single

user11 “they’re not even that cute” STFU AND GO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW CAUSE ??

user12 tom blyth said put aside your nonchalant attitudes, im looking at YOU MEN 🫵🫵

ilovetomblyth he’s so boyfriend it actually hurts

user13 yn must’ve saved a continent in her past life to be dating tom blyth omg

ynuser girls, before you have a meltdown over a boy: think of what balleona laurent would do. kiss and manipulate coriolanus!

view all comments

tomblyth you kiss and manipulate me too

➥ ynuser you’re gonna get me CANCELLED

user14 literal unbothered icon i love her

user15 if i were her id post a tiktok with that audio “he chose me he don’t want you”

iloveyn SHES SO FUNNY

lionsgate us when behind the scenes photo of balleona 😻

➥ user16 lmao stop who’s the admin of lionsgate

user17 balleona is such a bad person but oh is she hot

tomblyth she was like a shot of espresso

tagged @/ynuser

view all comments

ynuser i love u more than words can describe blyth

user18 ok who’s cutting onions

user19 GIRLS, GUYS, THEY THEMS, STOP SETTLING FOR BARE MINIMUM WHEN TOM BLYTH LITERALLY CALLED HIS GF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO, GIVES HER FLOWERS EVERYDAY, AND TALKS ABT HER ALL THE TIME IN HIS INTERVIEWS

➥ user20 YELL IT HARDER SISTER 👐👐👐

user21 this is so dark academica im inlove with u guys

user22 parentssss

rachelzegler my favorites

ynuser SNOW LANDS ON TOP LOSERS

view all comments

tomblyth yn, i love you but

➥ user23 LMFAOO when he doesn’t finish his sentence

user24 the second pic thank u yn

joshandresrivera on top of u maybe

➥ user25 IM DYING OML

user26 thank you to lionsgate for casting the most hottest villain couple ever

[sturnsmadl]

loverboy!chris headcannons!

loverboy!chris who built up the courage to slide in your dm's finally.

loverboy!chris who talked to you almost everyday.

"how are you?" "im filming tommorow." "u won't believe what i saw."

loverboy!chris who cut off every girl to focus on you.

loverboy!chris who always mentions flying you out.

"come onnnn. let me fly you out." "ill fly you out."

loverboy!chris who wants you to model for his brand.

"you tryna model?"

"dude i dont know how to model."

"so? you can try for me :)"

loverboy!chris who is always wanting to facetime.

"you tryna call?" "hop on facetime." "you awake?"

loverboy!chris who constantly talks about you to his brothers.

"and shes so fucking pretty."

"tell her that."

"can u shut the fuck up?"

loverboy!chris who really wants to meet you.

"you coming la anytime soon?"

"chris we spoke about this literally yesterday."

"pleaseeee?"

loverboy!chris who texts you like he's your boyfriend.

"good morning." "night babe." "you busy?"

loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay all the time.

"you okay? you looked really upset on ft last night."

"i was just tired :) thank you though."

"okay. you can always talk to me."

loverboy!chris who tells you everything.

"i literally just burped on matt."

"oh?"

"yeah."

loverboy!chris who finally flies you out to him.

"pack your bags ;)"

"omg. chris why did u do that?"

"i need to meet you."

loverboy!chris who gets really happy around you.

loverboy!chris who waited until you met to ask you to be his.

"can i be your boyfriend?"

"oh my- yes. yes.."

loverboy!chris who gets caught cuddling you on your first day meeting.

"shhh...shes sleeping."

"you met a few hours ago."

loverboy!chris who makes sure your ready for any advances.

"you sure?"

"yes chris just kiss me."

loverboy!chris who can't help himself and kisses you a lot more.

loverboy!chris who refuses to be away from you.

"where are you going?"

"to wash my hands.."

"ill come."

loverboy!chris who teaches you at top golf.

loverboy!chris who is so excited when he goes down on you.

"i've been waiting so long to do this."

"fuck..chris."

loverboy!chris who loves everything about you.

loverboy!chris who becomes very confident with you.

"i gotta fart."

"chris!"

loverboy!chris who showers with you to stay near you.

"want me to do your shampoo?"

"you could back up a bit."

"declined."

loverboy!chris who buys you everything you show interest in.

loverboy!chris who kisses your head while you sleep in his arms.

loverboy!chris who loves not sleeping alone.#

"i love that i get to hug you all night."

"its too hot to have you wrapped around me like a koala."

"thats just rude."

loverboy!chris who buys you stuffed animals that remind him of you.

loverboy!chris who sleeps on top of you.

"chris. wake up."

"what?"

"get off i need the bathroom."

"noooo"

loverboy!chris who leaves way too many marks.

"chris..i can't fucking cover them.."

"guess you'll have to show em off then huh?"

loverboy!chris who also loves pissing you off.

loverboy!chris who doesn't let you go bed mad at him.

"nuh uh. were not doing this. im sorry okay? whats wrong?"

loverboy!chris who cries when you find out your pregnant.

"your kidding.."

"no..are you happy..?"

"oh my god..yes.."

loverboy!chris who overbuys for the baby.

loverboy!chris who makes sure you know he's there at the birth.

"im here baby.. your doing so good."

loverboy!chris who takes a picture of him crying holding the baby when its first born.

loverboy!chris who treats his baby like glass.

"nick! careful."

"dude what..? i was just looking..jeez"

loverboy!chris who is so proud showing his brothers.

"look at my baby.."

"hes adorable chris."

"well done buddy."

loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay and provided for.

"you need any water? any food?"

"no im okay thank you.."

"a hug? i mean look what you just did. gave me a child. ur amazing."

a/n- these r quite far apart events!! this is also awful cause i rushed it smmmm!! i have so much school work to do :(

taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii

[thepersonnamedsam]

radio

pairing: the genz!driver x team x 23!grid

summary: some team radios of our beloved genz!driver

warnings: some swearing

note: oh i hope you all will like what i did here, it took me a hot minute, soo, pls don’t be a ghost reader

our genz!driver doesn’t drive for a specific team (pls imagine which ever is your fav), so the colours of the team radio will be violet, bc it’s not used :)

masterlist / taglist

Bahrain 2023

Q2

- „Okay y/n, you made it into Q2! Let’s keep that same pace you had in Q1“

- „Oh did you hear that? Where did Oscar place??“

- „Piastri is out in Q1, P18“

- „Wooh!! Oscar owes me 50 bucks!!! He lost the bet, he lost it! He didn’t think I’d out-qualify him!“

End of Qualifying

- „Good job, y/l/n! Thats P12 for you! Great start of the season“

- „Yeah baby! I’m the new Smooth Operator, Smooth Operator!“

Race

- „Uhm guys, I think there’s something wrong with my car…“

- „What is it, y/n?“

- „I just overtook Charles, how is that even possible?! Wtf guys, am I that fast?“

- „Oh my god, y/n, you had me stressed out here. I really thought you had technical problems for a second“

- „No worries, I’m just faster than a Ferrari“

—

- „Radio check“

- „It’s a cruel summer!“

—

- „Tell me, tell me how we finished, how I finished?!“

- „P11 baby!“

- „Uh, yeah, who’s almost in the points?!“

- „YOU!“

—

Saudi Arabia 2023

FP2

- „Tell me, is Danny here?“

- „Yea, why?“

- „Can you tell him I said hi? Please“

- „Uhm, sure I can, why?“

- „I just promised him yesterday I‘d give him a shoutout from the track, hahaha“

Q1

- „Okay, y/n, let’s get into Q3 today!“

- „Let’s gooooo!“

- „Could you not scream into the coms, please?“

- „WOHOO!“

- „y/n…“

- „Love you“

- „I don’t…“

- „You totally do“

- „I don’t“

- „You dooooo“

Q2

- „P12, good job y/n“

- „Could’ve gone better“

- „It’s a good result, y/n“

- „But still no Q3“

- „Hey, y/n, cheer up, it’s the same result as last race“

- „I thought we improved, I thought I improved“

- „We can still climb up the ladder“

- „As if, I’m not good enough for that many overtakes, I can defend, but that… I don’t know man“

- „Hey hey, listen to me, y/n. You deserve that spot in F1, you’re young and you’re learning with every race, with every test. I know you’ll be champion one day. Maybe not this race, but you’re gonna go far, kid“

- „…“

- „Are you crying, hahaha?“

- „Let me be emotional, dipshit“

- „Oh Lando is gonna have a field day with this, hahaha“

- „Please don’t show that to Lando“

- „Come to the garage first and we can discuss it“

Race

- „Radio check, y/n“

- „Vamos a la playa“

- „Loud and clear…“

—

- „FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, SHIT, SHIT, DAMN, WHY DOES IT NEVER GO MY WAY?!“

- „Unfortunate events, retire the car, y/n“

- „UNFORTUNATE?! STROLL JUST STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND I HAD TO BREAK SO HARD NOT TO CRASH INTO HIM THAT I CRASHED INTO THE WALL!“

- „It is what it is“

- „Don’t meme me, I’m mad… haha, okay, thank you“

Australia 2023

Q2

- „Good pace, y/n, let’s keep it that way and we’ll make it into Q3“

- „Alrighty mighty“

- „Cringe“

—

- „AND THATS P9 FOR YOU“

- „Huh?“

- „P9“

- „I’m into Q3?! Am I really?“

- „Yes! Yes you are!“

Q3

- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound of the police“

- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound that I need“

- „P10 baby“

- „P10!“

Race

- „Hi y/n, you’re doing really good out there, bring 'em home for me, will ya?“

- „Danny?“

- „Yes?“

- „Hi Danny“

- „Hi, y/n! You’re currently P9, with 0.548s to Piastri“

- „Okay“

- „Let’s push and stay in the points!“

—

- „YOU‘VE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE AS 7TH!!!“

- „THOSE ARE 6 POINTS, RIGHT?“

- „YES!“

- „It’s all because of Danny!“

- „I’ll gladly let him know“

Miami 2023

Race

- „I- help!“

- „What’s going on? y/n talk to me“

- „I don’t think my break is working“

- „y/n, we are going to retire then, box box“

- „I’ll try for one more lap“

- „No you won’t“

- „I will“

—

- „I think it’s fine“

- „…“

- „Yea, it’s fine, I can brake normally, hihi, sorry for the worries“

- „You’re a menace, y/n“

Monaco 2023

FP1

- „Monaco baby, the land of pretty people and expensive things, I am home“

- „Why’s that, you’re not from Monaco, y/n“

- „I am pretty and expensive therefore I am home“

Race

- „Radio check, y/n“

- „NOT NOW“

- „Noted“

—

- „I don’t feel pretty“

- „Sucks for you“

- „Man, that’s a shit move“

- „Sucks“

—

- „Okay y/n, you’re currently P11 with 0.639s behind DeVries, let’s push to P10“

- „DeVries? Nyck is P10? What happened?“

- „I don’t know, let’s just push him off of P10“

- „Harsh“

- „I’m a bad bitch“

- „Fuck that bitch“

—

- „Great job, y/n P10!“

- „Where is DeVries?“

- „P12“

- „Who overtook him?“

- „Bottas“

- „HAH!“

- „Be nice“

- „Ugh“

Montréal 2023

FP3

- „You are currently P3, I repeat, you are currently placed on P3“

- „Who’s pranking me? Max? Lando?“

- „No one, you ARE P3!“

- „WHAT?!“

- „Let’s take that pace into qualifying“

- „Uhm, yea, definitely“

Q2

- „What’s my time?“

- „1:18.725“

- „And Max‘s?“

- „1:19.092“

- „WHAT?“

- „You are P1, y/n“

- „Are you kidding me?“

- „I would never“

- „Mhm, but really? P1?“

- „I swear to god, P1“

Q3

- „Fuck! Shit! Holy macaroni fucking meatballs! I crashed, I repeat, I crashed“

- „Yea, we saw, retire the car“

Race

- „P7, good job!“

- „Thanks…“

- „Oh and y/n, you’ve been voted driver of the day“

- „Really?“

- „Really“

- „Firstly, I wanna thank the ground, because without it, I wouldn’t be standing here today“

- „That only works if you’re really standing somewhere, y/n, you’re sitting in an F1 car“

- „Then I’d like to thank my F1 car…“

- „I deactivated your coms“

Austria 2023

Sprint Shootout

- „What exactly is a Sprint really?“

- „Oh my god, really y/n?“

- „No… of course not…“

—

- „Great job, you placed P13“

- „Mhm, thanks… I‘m thirsty“

- „…“

- „Did no one hear me? I want my drink, where is the drink?“

- „You will not have the drink“

- „Oh you waited so long for that, didn’t you?“

- „No…, yes“

- „Kimi is a legend.“

Sprint

- „I don’t like this Sprint thingy“

- „Why?“

- „I don’t know, just because“

—

- „P15“

- „No good job?“

- „Not today“

- „Understandable“

Race

- „I want to go home, I am tired of this“

- „What?“

- „It’s getting boring with Max always leading and winning“

- „Thats why we need to push as hard as we can“

- „As if I’ll ever overtake Max“

- „One day, y/n, one day“

- „But not today, that’s why I want to go home“

- „You can’t“

- „Loser“

Silverstone 2023

FP2

- „Why do I not see Charles on the grid?“

- „Why do you have time to look at the screen and not see Charles on there?“

- „You should be driving“

- „I am“

- „Clearly not fast enough“

- „Hey, I am faster than you think“

- „You are currently driving with a speed of 156 km/h“

- „How do you know that..?“

- „I am your race engineer, I know everything“

- „Did you know that I just farted, hahaha?“

- „Unfortunately“

- „Hihi“

- „You’re gross“

- „Thank you“

- „Welcome“

—

Race

- „If Lewis stands on that podium, he owes me a dinner“

- „And if he doesn’t?“

- „I owe him a pity dinner“

- „And if you stand on that podium?“

- „Thats unrealistic, that’s why we didn’t bet on it“

- „True“

- „HEY!“

- „You said it first!“

- „Not a reason for you to call it out!“

- „Women“

- „I heard that“

- „You were supposed to“

- „Less talking, more driving!“

- „Yes boss“

- „Yes boss“

—

- „Omg, omg, omg, tell me I crossed that line without a single penalty and we don’t get a grid penalty? Please tell me this is true?“

- „YOU ARE P4 Y/N“

- „Am I really?“

- „Yes!“

- „If it weren’t for the safety car you would’ve been P3!“

- „I don’t care! It’s my best result so far!“

- „So near and yet so far“

- „Lew is P3?“

- „Yep“

- „P4 and I get a free dinner from Lew, what a day“

- „Be proud and loud“

- „WOOHOO!!!“

- „Maybe not so loud…“

- „Sorry not sorry“

Hungary 2023

FP1

- „Oh Danny Ric is back on the grid!“

- „Mhm“

- „Aren’t you happy to see my favourite person driving again?“

- „Totally“

- „Be happy!“

- „Okay…“

—

- „Oh… I just passed Danny“

- „You are on your flying lap, he needs to let you pass..?“

- „Yeah… but he needs a positive experience on his first race back…“

- „HES THE ENEMY“

- „He’s my best friend…“

- „Does he know that?“

- „Uhm, I hope so“

Race

- „Tell Lando he’s doing a great job“

- „Just drive“

- „Okay…“

—

- „Lando says thank you, by the way“

- „For what?“

- „Just forget it“

- „Okay“

—

- „Oh, for that! You’re welcome, Landi“

- „It took you 4 laps to realise“

- „My brain is sometimes slow, let me be“

- „I would if I could“

—

- „Oh how I hate Perez“

- „It’s mutual“

- „Hihi“

—

- „Radio check“

- „I am so glad that the summer break is right in front of me, just 33 more laps and it’s me chilling on the beach, getting tan and reading good books and you know, that’s how my dream life looks like and…“

- „How can she be so talkative but still be on for a podium? It’s a mystery for me“

- „And Lando and me oh and Danny will go on vacation together. Maybe Lewis will come as well. I want to go to the Maldives but we’ll see. Oh and you know what would be cool? If we really…“

- „Is she still talking? Yep…“

- „I could learn how to surf and eat loads of stuff and just relax“

- „So you finally decided to stop speaking and concentrate on the race? Great job, y/n“

- „Thanks!“

—

- „Thats P5 for you! What a race to start the summer break“

- „Thank you so much“

- „We’ll see us in 3 weeks!“

- „Byeeeee“

°°°

@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall

[wormdebut]

WALK HIM LIKE A DOG

@hellion-child you did this. Inspired by this legendary post.

‘It’s not illegal to go to the dog park, just to hear hot dads say Good Girl.’

Rating: M CW: overusage of the term daddy and Eddie just being a horny bastard.

——

“You know, this is fucking insane, right?” Chrissy laughs while Eddie lounges on the park bench.

Yes. He’s aware.

He and Chrissy don’t even have a dog and yet—

“Chris. Look at all of these great pet parents, taking care of these little doggies. Look at em. Wonderful. Stunning, very normal.”

Chrissy levels him with a glare. Being on the wrong side of a Chrissy glare is a scary thing, but alas his dog park visits are worth it.

“No. Look, listen. You’ve got all of these doggy daddies taking their lovely pups out for runs and walks and what not and then daddy wraps up his run and takes the precious ones to this here dog park. Woof.”

It really was worth it to Eddie, alright? There is nothing wrong with going to a public dog park to maybe hear a hot sweaty man coo at his dog.

‘Good Boy’

‘Precious Girl’

Bark bark bark or whatever.

Would Eddie ever talk to any of them? Absolutely the fuck not, but a man could dream.

He was bummed though because none of the hot guys were out, today.

Damn.

He is busy scanning the area to see if he missed anyone, Chrissy yapping on and on about how they could just get a dog when someone slows their run to chat.

“Hi!” She says. This woman is tall, short hair messed up from running, she’s got a bright ass orange jacket on, and she is most certainly Chrissy’s type. Thats not fucking fair at all, now is it?

Chrissy’s complaining tapers off. “Hey.”

They smile at each other, and this is truly unfair, Eddie thinks. This whole dog park thing was for him and yet.

“I hope you don’t mind, but me and my best friend just moved to the area and honestly, I think you’re pretty so—I just thought I would say hi.” She hardly makes eye contact with Eddie. So it’s clear who she’s talking to.

Like recognizes like, he supposes.

He can respect the straight forwardness of it all. Chrissy is just kinda staring at her so he speaks up. “Well, I’m Eddie and this is Chrissy, and I can confidently say that she also thinks you’re pretty.”

Both woman turn to stare and him, Chrissy with big eyes and the other woman with a smirk. She speaks, “Well, it must be my lucky day.” She turns back to Chrissy, “I’m Robin.”

The two get talking and Eddie is happy for his best friend, he really is, but where are all the hot men?

He’s about ready to call it quits when he sees a fucking god, running with a ridiculously stunning dog.

Hot people own hot dogs, he supposes.

This guy is—fuck. He’s sweaty from running, and his hair is fucking gorgeous, even after activities. Thats a green flag. Eddie is just shocked.

This is the dog daddy of all dog daddies. He’s wearing tiny fucking red shorts that expose thighs for days and—

“Jesus fuckin’—see?” Eddie doesn’t even care that he is interrupting the girls conversation cause this guys is—god damn. “He could slap a collar on me and walk me like a dog.”

Chrissy balks. “Eddie. We are in the company of a new friend. Robin doesn’t deserves this.”

Eddie simply shrugs and Robin laughs, “No. I think it’s hilarious which guy caught your eye?”

Oh, he likes Robin. “I like her. Get her number—“ He smiles big at Chrissy, before gesturing towards the fucking Adonis in tiny little running shorts. “Anywhozle. That one, look at him. On my knees in a second.”

He ignores Chrissy’s eye roll, and watches as Robin takes in the guy, before busting out in a laugh. “Oh my god—Steve?”

Oh shit.

“I—do you—“ Abort mission. Abort abort.

“Oh yeah, remember that best friend I was telling you guys about?”

She is still laughing, and Chrissy joins her before handing Robin her phone.

Eddie feels like he just got bamboozled.

“Chrissy, babe, I’ll text you. Eddie? I’ll see what I can do.” She smiles at them both before running over to ‘Steve’ and his—their?— gorgeous dog.

“No wait I—“ Eddie tries but she’s already over with Steve who is listening intently to what Robin has to say.

Oh god, oh no. Oh god.

Chrissy is just laughing softly into her hand, which turns into full laughter quick because Steve turns to look at them, smiles and winks.

[normansnt]

Ace

(Alastor x male reader)

Explain to Alastor what Ace means

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/N)?" Called out Alastor to you

"Yes?" You answered not looking up from what you were reading.

"Would you like to go, get some coffee with me, in, what your generation calls, a date?"

Now to this you looked up.

"What?" You answered very confused

"In a...romantic way?" He tried explaining it to you thinking thats the part you didn't understand.

"I mean...I would love to but you dont have to push yourself if it would make you feel uncomfortable" you answered while you put your book down slowly on the coffee table.

"Uncomfortable? Why would it make me uncomfortable we are close are we not?"

Now he got confused as well.

"Well because...your ace and/or aro?"

"What is with that word, Rosie said it as well and the meaning of it still avoids me" he answered starting to get annoyed by his lack of understanding.

"What- ohhhh what did you say when did you die?"

"1933, however its quite rude to ask someone that." He answered looking at you in a scolding way.

"I'm sorry but because you lived back than thats why you don't know that word, please sit let me explain"

He sat down on the couch in front of you.

"Ok, so when we say 'ace' we refer to someone who has little to no sexual attraction and aromantic or aro is someone who has little to no romantic attraction. Of course there is much more to this subject but this kind of sums it up."

Alastor just stared at you.

Him? Not being interested in romantic relationships or sex??

Thats...true. He never felt the need to sleep with anyone he was doing totally fine without it. Romance...was another category completely however, and he didn't know if it was something he was interested in it or not.

He asked you out in the first place because he felt very good in your presence. He felt comfortable and content. Was that not romance?

"Alastor?" He has been staring at you for a while and it was quite creepy.

"Listen I understand thats a lot of information to process especially if you just realized some things about yourself so I can leave if you like-"

"No" Answered Alastor a bit fast. He has made up his mind. He might not be interested in a sexual relationship however he really wanted to kiss you right now.

"It might be true that I have not known this so far in my life or death, and you did make me realize some things about myself, but even so my offer still stands."

"Oh? Are you sure because I only want to if it doesn't make you uncom-"

You couldn't get the rest of your sentence out due to a pair of lips on yours.

Alastor kissed you.

You were stunned for a second but after you realized what was happening you kissed back immediately.

His lips were surprisingly soft, not to mention he did pretty good looking at the fact that it was his first kiss.

"Trust me, dear, If something would make me uncomfortable I wouldn't do it." He said grinning and holding your chin after you two parted.

You were a blushing mess.

You've never thought about Alastor that way, since you thought he was aromantic. But now that you did, fucking god, you like him.

Whit that thought in mind you kissed him again.

This time you stood up and he put his hands on your waist while yours were on his neck.

It wasn't a heated kiss and it will never be very likely you didn't want to step over his boundaries.

"...So my dear, would you like to get that coffee now?" He asked smiling while offering you his arm.

"I would love to" you smiled back at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guys I have a serious problem Im literally shitting words I have never written this many fanfics in one go🥹

BUT YK WHAT WORTH IT CUZ I LOVE EM

I literally love almost all characters in hazbin hotel so much I JUST CANNOT STOP💀

Thank you sm for the correction @whyarewehere103 😎🙏🧡

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies,gentleman and other, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡

[acidburnsthings]

A PICK-ME-UP//TW\\ part one

pairing: toto wolff x bakeryowner!reader

description: coffee is a morning ritual that toto can't skip... so when a new bakery opens near the mercedes-amg HQ, he can't help, but pay a visit...

faceclaim: various pinterest girls

sfos_bakery

liked by user1, user2 and 978,645 others

sfos_bakery something is brewing in our coffee pot....

user1 omg maybe some new pastries... haven't added anything new in a while...

user2 or a new location... i think i head whispers about a new location last time i came by...

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sfos_bakery

liked by user2, user3 and 692,417 others

sfos_bakery As Greta van Fleet once said ˝A Change is Gonna Come˝ We would like to welcome you to our new main location in Ludwigsburg, Baden-Württemberg! The decision to move came up a while ago and we've now acted on it! The old location in Stuttgart will remain where it is so you won't be missing out on anything!

Can't wait to see you all in the coming weeks!

user2 CALLED IT!

user1 ok, we get it

user3 OMG i dont have to go to stuttgart to get my fav cake anymore!!! GOD IS GOOD!

user4 so dramatic... but yes

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y/nsweets

liked by user5, user6 and 263,489 others

y/nsweets just a normal week in my life...

user6 she is genuinely so aesthetically pleasing to follow, it is unbelievable, like i calm down whenever she posts????

user7 the composition, i feel like is what makes it so calming user8 ok yall are digging to much and making it philosophical, its nice to look at and thats it

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sfos_bakery

liked by user9, user10 and 618,312 others

sfos_bakery its better to stick with the classics...

user10 OMG they look so goood!!!!

user11 right, i only get them from here!! user12 i tried to make them myself at home, not even close to theirs user11 i think its the love y/n puts into the sweets and the bakery that makes them so good user12 mh, fr fr

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y/nsweets

liked by user12, user13 and 576,389 others

y/nsweets always was and always will be... a mercedes girl

user13 her hair, OMG!!!!

user14 the mercedes, the martinis, the moody autumn pic... madame!! you are HER!!!!

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sfos_bakery

liked by user14, user15 and 649,529 others

sfos_bakery a little something for our favs at @.mercedesamgf1

user15 honestly, i've been waiting for the moment they reach out to her, she's close and a HUGE merc fan, im surprised they didnt do it sooner

mercedesamgf1 thank you for having us, the sweets were AMAZING, didnt manage so snatch one, i fear

sfos_bakery don't worry admin, just drop by after work mercedesamgf1 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️

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sfos_bakery

liked by mercedesamgf1, user16 and 936,193 others

sfos_bakery a big thank you to everyone for the pics, keep 'em coming

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y/nsweets

liked by mercedesamgf1, user17 and 654,365 others

y/nsweets just the two of us <3

user17 oh?

user18 👀 user19 👀

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sfos_bakery

liked by user19, lewishamilton and 952,362 others

sfos_bakery by popular demand, bringing back some fo our original items, matcha and matcha lattes as well as the pumpernickel bread, in both loaf and toast variation, hope you will enjoy it now as you did before!!<<33

user19 now we know where toto will be getting breakfast ahahahaha

user20 i genuinely cant imagine him in a small, aesthetic bakery, i feel like he'd look so out of place user19 but it'd be so funny user20 yeaaah hahahha

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y/nsweets

liked by mercedesamgf1, user21 and 978,463 others

y/nsweets guess who?

user21 so he's staying? we have a dad now?

user22 so it seems

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y/nsweets

liked by user22, user23 and 465,499 others

y/nsweets 🤎

user23 MOTHER!!!

user24 ugh the MERCEDESSSS!!!!

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sfos_bakery

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 963,741 others

sfos_bakery us + the merc gang = one big happy family <3

mercedesamgf1 who's last name are we taking?

sfos_bakery 🤷🏻‍♀️👀

lewishamilton i called in advance this time

sfos_bakery (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

user25 a collab we ??kinda?? expected, but cute nonetheless

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mercedesamgf1

liked by y/nsweets, sfos_bakery and 951,752 others

mercedesamgf1 us and @.y/nsweets make quite the family, don't we?

also she brought some eclairs, so she gets extra points on the favs list....

y/nsweets the best one, i think

mercedesamgf1 think so too

user26 MOTHER IN THE PADDOCK! I REPEAT, MOTHER IN THE PADDOCK!!

user27 and she brought (l)eclairs user26 i see what u did there

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y/nsweets

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 963,852 others

y/nsweets as previously stated, a mercedes girl <3 thank you @.mercedesamgf1 for inviting me<3

mercedesamgf1 mwah!

y/nsweets mwah!

user28 i think we know who's her favourite son...

user29 i bet she call him lew y/nsweets i call him an idiot lewishamilton rude... user28 yeeeeah... he's the favourite

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TAGS

@yllomhej @walldemons @shelbyteller

if anybody else wants to be tagged, send me a DM or an ask!

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.8 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover

Lando being Lando with .jpg and Max and Charles are now involuntary babysitters

| Masterlist |

lando.jpg

liked by 321,023 users

Tagged: @/alex_albon @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/its_y/n_love

lando.jpg "we will never drink again" just look at em lie

view all 10,874 comments

landonorris i dont even know how y/n is alive rn

logansargeant fr I don't even remember getting back to the horel its_y/n_love I DRAK TEQUILA FOR YOUR UNGRAEEFUL ASS SMH arthur_leclerc WHY AM I IN A SHOPING CAT??? oscarpiastri why are we sleeping on the road?

its_y/n_love damn slide 5 logsn stole my bikch 😥

oscarpiastri more importantly why am i little spoon? hello? logansargeant cause I'm built diffrnt 😤

maxverstappen Never get them near alcohol. ever again.

charlesleclerc atleast you didn't have to CLIMB UP A BUILDING TO GET ARTHUR AND LOGAN OKAY maxverstappen THATS BECAUSE Y/N AND OSCAR KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE ROAD!!

alex_albon ... why am i crying im slide 4

oscarpiastri cause you weer flirting witn lily and she told you shee had a bf alex_albon understandable

username omg not them drunk answering in the comments 😭

username ong what did they drink ?!?!?1 username tequila apparently username girl ain't no tequila doin all that

username WE FINALLY FOUND HER GUYS

username lando.jpg coming in clutch 💪 username not her endangering the driver's life by sleeping on the road and pushing arthur in a shopping cart 🙄 username fr like this isn't funny they should stop being friends with her look what Max and Charles said username can yall leave the poor girl alone! they're all adults it was their friends first point ofc they're gonna party ion see yall saying shit abt max and his redbull parties 🤨

After your wild night, it was Oscar who came through first, groaning at the awkward position he was sleeping in, his neck sore with a horribly tough and warm pillow under it. He tried shoving it off but was only met with soft groans and a 'fucking stop', well that was enough to wake up the Aussie.

He turned around to be face-to-face with his childhood best friend, he let out a small yelp and pushed himself off the small sofa they were sharing, waking up the others.

"Oh my god, please shut up," came the hoarse voice of his friend Y/n, from the other side of the bed, on which Alex was the only one sleeping, his phone still on Facetime with his girlfriend, Lily.

As Y/n began pulling herself up, a deep Monganesque voice protested, "Y/n, stop moving," making the young woman's eyes widen as she pulled her hand away from the shirtless f2 driver's chest.

"Why aren't you wearing your shirt?" She asked looking at the boy still lying down on the floor, head clutched in his hands, "actually, Albon, why don't you have your shirt either?" she asked pulling herself up and lending her hand to the struggling boy next to her.

"I can answer that," came a woman's garbled voice through Alex's phone making him jump up to grab it, "Arthur fell off the bed onto you and when you pushed him off he used his shirt as a pillow," 'oh, that's why my ribs hurt' the younger woman thought, throwing a look at her friend, "and Alex was 'literally on fire and going to kill whoever messed with the AC'" she said with air quotes, making her boyfriend turn red.

"Thanks, Lily, I'll call you later, love you." he spoke and cut the call, "Remind me to never ever drink with the four of you again."

"Oscar, you kick in your sleep," Logan complained as he sat up, exploring all the black and blue bruises on his body, "why do we look like we were in a fight club?" he asked out loud making the others look at themselves.

Oscar had a few scratches on his knees and arms, Arthur had bruises and scratches littered all across his palms and hands and a nasty hand-sized bruise on his back, Y/n had a swollen nose, with a deep-ish cut along her eyebrow, the only unscathed on was Alex.

They all got dressed not bothering to change, knowing whose room they were in and walked to the private buffet that had been set up for the driver staying in the hotel, courtesy of Paris Hilton's soft spot for Lando.

As soon as they walked in, they were greeted by Lando, smiling and laughing as he recorded with his phone.

"Merde, I'm going to die, shut the lights," the youngest Leclerc said as he threw himself on the chair, closest to him, letting his head fall back. Y/n was next to accept the defeat of being conscious, sitting and immediately letting herself slump over her head smacking the wooden table with a loud thud, the woman would have been hurt if Logan hadn't moved his hand under her face, letting it bear the brunt of the impact. The blonde wasn't in any better shape, throwing one of the table napkins on his face to block out all light and noise. Oscar was the last to sit, simply clutching his head in his hands, almost pulling out his hair, at the massive headache he had.

Soon after, the unwilling babysitters followed, scowling at the sight of the supposed adults who were in no condition to be awake.

"All four of you, delete my number from your phone," the Dutchman spoke as he sat down next to his British friend, "eighty-two calls of all of you singing Barbie girl at 2 IN THE MORNING," he yelled slightly making the four whine.

"Please for the love of god shut up," the Aussie spoke up surprising the three sober men.

"Arthur mate, what did you all drink?" his brother asked laughing.

"Last I remember were the shots," he answered in broken French and English.

"So you don't remember when you all ran out of the club and went to Costco?" Lando spoke with a smirk, "And Y/n pushed Arthur around in the parking lot in the shopping carts,"

"What?" the pair asked, the girl sitting up, letting the blonde take back his hand.

"Oh, that is not even the worst part," Charles continued, "You and Oscar stole traffic cones, put them over your head and began tackling each other, and slept on the road," he chuckled making the duo look at each other with wide eyes.

"Oh and let's not forget when Logan and Arthur climbed up a building," he said knudging the brunette next to him. The two in question looked sheepishly at the older men and back onto the table.

"I am never going to drink, ever again," Y/n groaned as she tried to keep her eyes open.

"Yeah right, let's see you in Vegas," The youngest Leclerc sniped, making the girl throw the napkin of Logan's face on Arthur.

"Hey, guys," Lando called out bringing everyone's attention to him, the six waited as Lando's eyes widened and widened, "WHY IS THERE A TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLAR CHARGE ON OSCAR'S COMPANY CARD?!"

oof this one was long af 😭 but I hope yall like how chaotic the boys get when they're with Y/n, cause we menaces frfr.

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1

[justcallmesakira]

HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!

"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"

Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!

Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)

Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,

A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<

nahhh like brother like sister :/

NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you

But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)

Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do

This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;

However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know

You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!

Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏

Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment

Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!

Honestly dazai would be chill though-

Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe

FUCKING SLU--

You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:

"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"

Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that

AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍

When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void

like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--

One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground

"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''

All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori

your getting grounded <3

"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"

he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"

damn.. dazai become eminem

the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny

LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!

"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"

#siblinggoalsfr

fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"

dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths

uh oh...

So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!

Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍

No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--

Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"

one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother

"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"

everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???

"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy

JKJK-

Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl

"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"

dramatic gossip girlie fr

like its literly like

"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"

i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*

during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3

kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~

until your silly ahh falls! :D

And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-

Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!

"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"

Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor

A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33

Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade

tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst

[hanwiore]

you were just so…cute.

Sitting on the couch with your legs under you as you stroked the end of you pink skirt, two barbie ponytails with a swoop you just gotten done earlier today, that nanami paid for. White cami shirt and a pink cardigan, you were adorable but such a very bad girl.

“Daddy, it was a accident- i swear it!” Your eyes looked wide as you look up at the man, tom ford button down and a nice fitted tie over his neck. Nanami was just so clean…so expensive looking. Your thighs clench.

Oh your were a very…bad girl.

“Are you always causing accidents that require you cussing at me like some crazy woman?” His voice rang out in the quiet big house. Your hands fumbled with the edge of the white couch, a frown gracing your lips. “N-no but it was just…” your eyebrows drew close.

You were frustrated that’s all, frustrated that the nail tech didn’t do right. Frustrated that nanami didn’t have time to go in there for you to address the issue like he did everytime you disliked something.

Then he the nerve to call you a spoiled brat which made you cuss at him.

“Well I wouldn’t be fucking spoiled if you didn’t make me like this!”

Is what you said which was crazy because, even before nanami you were a spoiled little thing.

Not understanding what no meant, or not today, or not right now.

Tears start burning your eyes, it’s just not fair!

“I-i just didn’t, i-i just don’t like em’ da-daddy!” You look at your nails, the index finger not shaped right, not square enough. “I told you we can fix them tomorrow but you want to throw a fit like I haven’t taught you shit baby.” He mumbled as his hand move to the back of your knee that was covered from the back of thighs.

Strong enough to pull your legs from under and that has you back flying back into the couch and skirt flying up to show your pink panties.

“D-daddy, im so-so sorry.” You sniffle and whine because you hate when nanami is mad at you, hates when he sees you differently then being his good little angel. Then suddenly he grips your face, thumb pushing in on one side as the others pushed in on the other. “Shhh, daddy knows baby. He always know.” And thats true.

Cause he knew exactly how to fuck you brain dead with just his fingers.

Legs spread wide, toes clenching in your pink socks with white frill’s at the top, your head leaned back against the sofa, finger digging into nanami’s strong arm that hand veins all around them as three fingers shoved deep into your wet tight pussy.

“G-god, oh god d-daddy!” You mewl and whine, biting your pouty lip and god you looked so cute.

Nanami looking at the way sweat glistening slightly around your neck. Your gold necklace he got you a week prior to meeting him at the first dinner date. Which was a year ago. Your nipples were hard under the shirt, wet circling around it when you sucked them through the shirt. Eyes going down to your trembling things that were soaked, you were just so cute.

He groans and place your legs on his shoulder, kissing your calf, moving his fingers forward to tough the spongey spot in you, rubbing which made you moan unexpectedly loud. “Good job baby, she so fucking tight. And she’s fuckin’ talking to me too baby. You hear it?” He moans infront of your face. You nodded enthusiastically. Stupidly.

“Yes, yes, yes yes yes yes yes.” You were just so dumb! Moving your hands behind his neck and through his disheveled hair. “Gonna cum daddy, hm can i cum? F-feels so good.” You whine, looking at his eyes, he looked so carefree. But his hard dick that was trapped in his black slacks was pushed against your thigh.

“You think you deserve hm? You think you deserve to cum on my fingers?.” And there you go nodding again because you didn’t give a fuck that you messed up a little earlier, cumming was more important to you right now.

His fingers slid out and you cried.

“No! Daddy st-stop it’s not f-funny.” But nanami wasn’t laughing. Cause it wasn’t funny which is why he told you to make your self cum on your own fingers cause you didn’t deserve his.

And tears began to fall cause you hated that, wanted his and his only. “B-but.” He cuts you off swiftly. “No. Cum on your own fingers. And i meant it.” He pulls up off you slightly, now standing up with both hands on each of your foot. Thumbs digging into the heel of it. You cute little manicured fingers fall to your clit, you look at his face and start rubbing it.

His face was enough to get you off anyways.

His blonde hair, and eyebrows that frowned slightly “oh” you gasped as your hips moved in circular motion against your fingers, thinking his finger doing it. His fingers were better and the though made you pout. Your eyes travel to his neck, you first initial on his gold necklace, his good fucking hard body you can see against his white button up shirt. “Oh gosh..” you mumble and close your eyes.

“Look at me baby.” And you eyes dart open, squelch squelch squelch as your fingers became more aggressive, more needy. Now your eyes was on his bulge. It was so thick, pants tight around his thighs.

You can just imagine his dick, the dick that can be rubbing against your clit instead of his fingers, “you almost there aren’t you sweetheart? Boutta cum on those cute fingers hm?” Your eyes were teary, listening to nanami on half a mind.

“D-daddy, oh my…daddy!” Your thoughts were going wild, his hands holding your legs open as they shook uncontrollably. You felt it, the clench in your stomach as you began sobbing, just the thought of his dick alone was making you cum. “Ca-can i cum? I’ll be so good daddy, will never c-cuss at you aga-again! I wanna cum s’ bad !” You words were jumbled but he understood you.

He bent down slightly moving your fingers away so his hard dick that was still hiding in his pants can push on your puffy clit, you whimpered, moving your hips up to fuck yourself against that hard bulge. “That’s it baby, i know.” His hips moves forward against you, he pecks your lips softly, then your cheek, and sucks your neck nastily. “Cum on my pants baby, show me how needy you are.”

Your arms circle around his neck and you whined so loudly, hips bucking, your breath labored. “Cummingcummingcummingcumming.” “Daddy!daddynghhhhhhdaddy!”

You fucking soaked his pants and sofa, your fingers squeezing his hair and you start mumbling unintelligible sentences. He groans and keeps moving his hips against yours, “i-its sensitive.”

“I know baby but your gonna help me cum too right?”

And you did, more then once.

[maroonsmatt]

"ARE YOU A VIRGIN?" - matthew sturniolo

matthew sturniolo x fem!reader smut, fluff (?)

contains: virginity loss, f1ngering, explicit content (new to this so lmk if theres anything i should've put that was included)

not proof read

the sound of the tv in matts room overrides my thinking. today i'm a weird mood. matt is watching the tv as i endlessly scroll on my phone.

i get a notification from imessage. its my best friend, "em <3" its her talking about her recent hookup. as much as i love her, i cannot keep track of the men she fucks. i haven't even lost my virginity yet and i am 19. i look over at matt, his eyes fixated on the tv.

"are you a virgin?" i blurt out.

shit. why did i ask that?

he looks over at me, still processing what i had said because of how focused he was on the tv. "wha- oh? uhm.. no. why?"

"i don't know i'm sorr-"

"are you?" he asks, his eyes locked onto mine, making me feel somewhat intimidated.

"oh. yeah, i am" i didn't admit that i wanted to have sex with him, but we were dating for about 3 months. all we had done was made out. i practically yearned for it at this point. if i wanted to lose it to anybody, i would want it to be matt for sure. he makes me feel comfortable. he would. i know it.

"really?" he asks, sounded curious.

"mhm" i say with an awkward smile.

"do you want... to lose it?" he says, now touching my hair.

i hesitate. "um.. yeah."

"to who?"

he wanted me to say him. he knew i would say him. "i don't know..." how am i supposed to say that i want my clothes on his floor straight to his face?

"hm... would you want to lose it to me?" he asks.

"well...yes." i laugh.

"ok then..." he adjusts his position, now his face and hair and chains are dangling above me. i'm looking up at him, laying down. he knows how badly i want him. "why don't we? do you want to?"

i nod my head a little. "how many times have you done this before?"

"twice. now stop asking questions." he puts his lips onto mine, still above me, his arms balancing around me as if he's doing a push up. we start making out for god knows how long. as we kiss, he pulls me on his lap, in a straddle type of position.

we both pull back and i stare at him. he teases at the bottom of my tank top. i pull it off, and it messes up my hair a little. its okay. maybe thats hot to him. i am now in my lacy pink bra. he stares a little. then he gives me a little nod to unclasp it and take it off. as i am reaching for the clasp, which is taking me extra long for some reason right now. as i pull at it, matt asks if i'm nervous.

"a little."

"thats okay. its normal. i'll talk you throught it" how is he so normal and calm?

i finally get the bra off and it falls onto his lap. he picks it up and throws it away. he traces his hands up to my boobs. "tell me if you want me to stop" he says. i give a little hum of acknowledgment.

he gropes my boobs for a few seconds, then takes off his shirt.

"you're beautiful." he says looking at your eyes. i giggle a little bit. how am i supposed to act? he looks down at my shorts. "do you wanna?"

"oh..! oh yeah." i get up and take them off after zoning out for a second. all i have on now is lacey panties. he motions for me to sit on the bed and i do as so. i sit up with my back against the headboard and my ass halfway on the pillow. he sits in front of me. he pulls my panties off a little bit.

"do you ever do this to yourself?"

"yes." i say, slightly embarrassed to admitting that i masturbate.

"ok. you're not super tight. thats good." he smiles up at me. "ok i'm going one finger. tell me if anything hurts." and suddenly his finger is in there. i am already wet. his long finger is exploring and i squirm a little. "okay?"

"okay."

"good. think you can handle a second?" i nod. "okay, get ready." seconds later, theres two fingers in my clit. i let out a shaky breath.

"fuck" i whisper out of pleasure.

"does it feel good?"

"very.." i let out a soft moan.

"okay this might be a stretch-"

"yes, put the third one in. please." i cut him off. soon enough theres three fingers. i let out a moan. i squirm and bite down on my lip. "shit, matt." i throw my head back.

"i know. is it good?"

"yes.." i say as i moan again. we continue for another 2 minutes and then he pulls out, his fingers wet and my pussy soaked. i wonder if it's normal for someone to be that... wet. i look down at him, realizing how far back my head is.

"you did great." he says. he licks his fingers, smiling. "so... i don't really know if you'd like to actually... fuck...?" he says in a low and growly voice.

"um..."

"we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"n-no. i want to." he gives me an unsure look. "really."

"okay. i'll be super gentle. it's okay." he pulls my panties off my legs delicately, but throws it onto the floor. i am now completely bare. he gets up and goes into his drawer, pulling out a condom.

"oh that's fine, you don't need to."

he gives me strange look. "i am not getting you pregnant today."

"i'm on the pill." i laugh.

"oh. sorry," he puts it down. he pulls off his sweatpants, now only in his underwear. i can't tell if he's hard or has a giant dick. either way, it looks... big. "okay but listen. you seriously have to- have to be super quiet. my brothers are here."

"o-okay. i will." he nods and takes off his underwear and i guess i was right. he had a big dick. i accidentally put on a surprised face.

"you okay?"

"yeah but... are they normally that... b-big?"

"i think i am a little longer than usual." he chuckles. "you sure i'm not too big?" he says sarcastically.

"shut up." i joke. he crawls onto the bed. he flips me onto my back. "i think this way, it will feel easiest." i go into doggy position and he touches my entrance lightly. he slowly pushes it in.

"you okay" he asks, his dick barely in me. i mumble a small 'mhm'. he tries to push in more but he can't go in too much more. "okay, relax a little. it's ok." he pushes in a little more. i guess he can feel my nervousness because once again he talks to me. "hey, its okay. it'll feel good. i promise. don't be scared." i relax a little more. i trust him. he is able to push in a lot more. "good job angel." he rarely calls me nicknames. he finds them corny. he continues pushing and encouraging me until he is fully in. "that was great. now i'm gonna thrust very slowly. let me know if you need me to stop immediately."

he starts to pull out... and go back in. out... and in. i immediately let out a small closed-mouth moan. he goes a little faster. "i am going to continue going a little faster. tell me if i need to slow down"

he gradually starts thrusting a little quicker. i moan quietly again and again each time he pushes in. at one point he presses my stromach to feel how far in he is. "i'm pretty far in. is this okay" i moan out another 'mhm' for the 1000th time tonight. i start gripping the pillow. he goes faster and faster.

"i'm going pretty fast are you good??"

i let out a weak "yeah." i'm trying to be as quiet as i can but i think i am on the verge of an orgasm.

suddenly time felt like it slowed down and i felt a wave of pleasure, a rush. it felt amazing. i felt him fill me up as he slowed down. "fuuuck is that okay? i just cummed y/n." he says as he pulls out. i'm zoned out. that was unreal to me. except, i think i worried him by sitting down regularly. he worries and looks at my face and starts apologizing but i cut him off.

"that was fucking amazing." i smile. "i'm sweating."

"oh, thank god, you got me worried. you did great."

"thank you matt." i say. i couldn't have chosen a better person to lose it to. i look over to the side of the room.

my panties and bra lay together on the floor. my tank top and shorts on the other side of the room. for the first time ever.

tysm for reading! this is my first fanfic so pls leave suggestions and send requests :)