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getalittleclosey · 4 years

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under 100k larry fic recs

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 50k

100k+

☆ somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny 60k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

☆ tug-of-war by cherrystreet 63k

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

☆ cameras flashing by juliusschmidt 82k

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

☆ home to you by crowsonthewire 54k

“If someone wrote that for me I’d probably be a crying mess before it was even over. I’m crying a little right now actually.”

It’s about you, Harry’s brain screamed. I wrote it about you.

Gemma appeared in the doorway then and dragged Louis away. With one winking smile he was gone. Harry curled up and stuffed his face into his duvet so he could cry with no one hearing.

**** At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.

They both try to run from the things weighing them down and in the process, they find each other.

☆ fate don’t know you by sincewewereeighteen 99k

“Just. How bad is it?”

Zayn sighs. Shit.

“Not that bad, really,” he says quickly as he scans Louis’ face. “It depends, really. The freshmen are all right and I think you’ll manage just fine with the sophomores.”

“But?”

“Seniors are always shit because they think they rule the school, and this specific class of juniors… Well, let’s say you’ll find a real troublemaker there. Some say he used to be a soft kid, but- I don’t know. Most teachers just leave him alone.” Zayn shrugs. “He walks around with a tough crowd. Guess no one wants to take their chances with him. This is Chicago after all.”

“D’you know the name of the kid?” Louis asks, already very curious to meet said person.

“His name is Harry Styles.” The other man responds. “You’re in for a treat with this one.”

[Or: The one in which Louis always hears thunder when Harry speaks and sees lightning when he glances at him.]

note: this is student/teacher so if that makes you uncomfortable please skip! harry’s 17 but he is still a student so power unbalance and all that but from what i remember it was tastefully done. just like....don’t do that irl obv jfkdaj

☆ like an endless summer by objectlesson 87k

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 6k of pwp

☆ back to how it was by lululawrence 53k

Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.

He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?

Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.

Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.

What. The. Fuck.

Or the one where Harry goes to bed angry with his bandmates and wakes up in a universe where One Direction was never formed and he has to find a way back home. Home definitely has nothing to do with his best friend and bandmate, Louis. That would be ridiculous.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 24k!

☆ when we were younger by dinosaursmate 76k

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

note: there’s a second part that’s 3k ziam centric

extra note: you don’t want to know how many episodes of catfish i’ve seen

☆ like cabbages and kings by you_explode 61k

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

☆ knives don’t have your back by turnyourankle 51k

The lone survivor of an on campus massacre that claimed the lives of his four housemates, Harry is urged to take a sabbatical or transfer. Instead, he chooses to stay in school, move into the dorms, and overcome his fears.

He finds comfort in a budding friendship with Louis, an upperclassman who lives on his floor, not realizing that their relationship will bring him closer to his traumatizing past rather than further from it.

☆ loving you is free by littlelouishiccups 68k

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

note: there are two other parts to this that are pretty much pwp. they’re 24k and 4k

☆ dance to the distortion by lis (domesticharry) 93k

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

☆ waiting on you by emma1234 77k

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 5k

☆ this wicked game by cherrystreet 70k

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

note: i’ve seen maybe five episodes of the bachelor in my life and hated it but i have read every larry bachelor fic

☆ coax the cold by mediawhore 86k

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

☆ this feeling by orphan_account 59k

"Gonna play it back for you now." Louis clicked play and the song flooded through Harry’s headphones.

The sound of each others voices united into one, and the rhythm of the music carried their voices effortlessly. Harry’s insides tingled and a wave of shivers rolled down his spine.

Before the clip cut off, Harry turned to raise an eyebrow at Louis, and failed miserably at disguising his smile. Louis stared back at him in shock.

Or A Larry Duet AU

☆ love’s on the line, is that your final answer? by pearlydewdrops 53k

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.

Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything. Obviously.

☆ say your prayers by nothing_but 59k

Louis was left wondering what the fuck this encounter had been. Coming to this camp - especially after learning that it was a religious one - he had never expected to find himself in a bathroom with the attractive, strictly Catholic, not-gay-or-anything head counsellor making flirty remarks. Quite the opposite, to be honest.

Or the one where Harry, head counsellor at a Catholic summer camp, dedicates his time to what he loves most, year after year. It’s mostly the same every summer; the place, the topics, the games. This year, however, there’s a new assistant counsellor stumbling into his camp, and possibly his heart.

☆ i’ll crash until you notice me by stylinsoncity 61k

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

note: zendaya is listed as a character in this which desperately makes me want to reread it because i don’t remember that!!!

☆ nothing but you on my mind by nonsensedarling 84k

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

☆ ghost note symphony by whoknows 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

☆ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in by nonsense_darling 52k

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

☆ here in the afterglow by fondleeds 89k

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

note: i can’t believe i waited until 2020 to read this...it was life changing tbh and i cried

☆ just call me inspiration by hereforlou 52k

The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

(Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.)

☆ truly, madly, deeply (10 things i hate about you) by sunsetmog 54k

The first Louis had heard of Harry auditioning for X Factor was the night he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep the day before leaving for Boot Camp, with a DVD and an illicit bottle of vodka.

Thing was, Louis hated secrets, and he really hated being made a fool of, and he really, really hated Harry Styles.

or: the one in which they're all in sixth form together, and Harry auditions for X Factor without them.

note: this has always been a fav

☆ the impossible now by stylinsoncity 65k

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

☆ swallow the knife by whoknows 76k

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

note: i don’t even normally like non-aus but i have read this fic five times in the last nine months so. there’s that.

extra note: there’s an 11k alternate sex scene here

☆ perfect storm by cherrystreet 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

☆ anyplace, anyhow, anytime by aimmyarrowshigh, colazitron 81k

Harry's going to audition for The X-Factor in a few days, he really can't use this persistent tickle in his throat. What's even worse is when the tickle turns into a full blown cough, and the cough makes him pass out only for Harry to wake up in a different world. And then another one, and another one, and another one. The only other person who seems to be as affected as he is, is a boy with blue eyes who keeps showing up in every single one of these worlds.

note: i reread all of aimmyarrowhigh’s larry fics this year including the 500k or whatever sheylinson verse and i thought about putting them all in here but like...felt excessive & i figured i’d give attention to a less well known one, plus this way we get colazitron too!

☆ the second hand unwinds by kingsofeverything (fullonlarry) 52k

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

☆ waiting for the tides to meet by nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) 60k

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

☆ keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby 79k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

☆ strawberries & cigarettes by dimpled_halo 77k

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

#one direction #larry stylinson #fic rec #mine #getting those longer fics!!#33 of these wowie #fic masterpost

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 5 years

Text

The Matchmaker: Eleven

“Good Morning, Miss Becca,” you say smiling, helping yourself to a cup of coffee.

“Hello, dearest!” she said hugging you hard, “Oh, I missed you. I hate it when they send me different Companions. Such a hassle to break them in.”

You kiss her cheek and return the hug, “I’m sorry. Luckily, I don’t have a trip home planned for a while. I’ve got my dissertation to finish.”

She hustled you out of the kitchen and onto the sofa, “Tell me everything!” she said, settling in for a chat. You toe your shoes off and pull your feet up underneath you. “It was wonderful,” you tell her, “Bucky was a perfect gentleman... I have pictures.”

She clapped her hands and held one out, eager to see them. “Oh my goodness,” she giggled. “He’ll be such a good father,” she said gushing over pictures of him playing legos with the boys.

You patiently explain who everyone is and she gushes about how much you look like your mom. About how tall your dad is. About how handsome your nephews are.

If she notices the mark Bucky had sucked into your neck that morning in the shower, she doesn’t say. The only thing she does mention is your slight limp. You’re thankful she can’t see you blushing when she mentions it and you try to explain it away as having worked out too hard.

__________

“Hey Nat,” Bucky asked, leaning on the counter where the redhead was chopping vegetables. “Yeah?” she answered. “Do you know anything about jewelry?” he asked

“Why?” she returned, quirking an eyebrow.

“I need help buying an engagement ring,” he said blushing.

“This isn’t for a shotgun wedding is it?” she teased. “No,” he snorted, “At least I don’t think so... I just. I want to have something. Just for when the time is right. I mean. I already asked her dad.”

The Spy smirked, “Doing it the old fashioned way, how cute... Why don’t you ask Steve?”

“Steven Rogers? The Steve you’re dating? That one?” Bucky asked slightly incredulous.

Natasha laughed, “Fair point,” she said, “The poor guy can’t deal with salespeople.” She thinks for a second, “We can go today after lunch,” she said, “It’s almost time for Jewelry stores to do their inventory... They’ll be marking stuff down left and right. At the very least, you can look and see if there’s anything that feels right.”

Bucky nodded and kissed her cheek, “Thanks Nat,” he said fondly, “I owe you.”

She grins, “I think Y/N is the one that owes me,” she said, “Oh hey! Tell her her dissertation is fucking great. She’s reaching freak out mode 5.”

Bucky nodded, “I didn’t even know,” he said.

She shrugged, “We were talking last night while you and Steve were playing darts,” she said. “I asked her how it was going and I thought she was gonna cry... Alcohol aside, I think the stress is getting to her.”

He sighed and nodded, “I’ll talk to her,” he said. “I know she’s stressed about finding a job.”

Nat frowned, “Why? She’s nationally recognized. She’s done some really cool shit... SHEILD would take her in a heartbeat. All she has to do is put in a resume.” He smiled a little, “I’ll put a bug in her ear and see if I can’t get her to throw something together for me to drop on Fury’s desk.”

She nodded, “At least you could just commute to the same building,” she said, “How's the house hunt going?”

Bucky smiled, “A lot easier than the ring search... I think I found the perfect house. Its a Victorian farmhouse. Lots of space to add on if we need it. I’m taking her to go see it this weekend.”

Natasha smiled, “Have you named your kids yet?” she teased.

“I like the names Emma and Thomas,” he said primly, stealing a handful of cucumbers off her cutting board.

_______________

Bucky fidgeted nervously behind you as you wandered through the house he’d found. You explored the house with a thoughtful look on your face, “It’s really beautiful,” you murmur, “But can we afford it?”

He smiles and pulls you against his chest, rocking you gently, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, babygirl,” he says kissing your nose, “It’s gonna be fine.” You tilt your head curiously and he smiles, “I had a bank account that never got closed... So I’ve got money,” he said, “All I need to know is how you feel about it, Princess.”

“I love it,” you say smiling, “It’s perfect.”

He kisses you softly and cradles your face in his hands. You’re so soft. He wants you to have a safe place. He wants you to be happy. To feel wanted. “Then it’s yours, kid,” he says, “I’ll call the realtor first thing in the morning.”

“Promise?” you ask, snuggling into him.

“I promise,” he said, “This’ll be our house before you know it.”

_____________

Steve and Bucky sat on the floor in the kitchen sipping beer and listening to you and Sam singing to the radio as you painted the front room.

The house was coming together slowly, walls painted, wood floors exposed as the ugly carpet was torn out, new hardware on cabinets and Bucky patiently sneaking in little things here or there that he knew you adored but thought cost too much money for right now.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered wanting exactly this. A home. A girl to share it with. Someone he could spoil. And he loved spoiling you. You deserved to be spoiled, he decided. Sweet and hardworking. Endlessly kind. Patient with him even when he woke you up in the middle of the night with his nightmares. It felt right every time your eyes lit up. Even when all he did was bring you a little bag of the sour candy you liked. Or showed you pictures of puppies he saw online.

“It’s a nice house, Buck,” Steve said looking around. Bucky nodded, smiling a little, “I thought so.”

Steve smiles a little, “So,” he asked, “When are the retirement papers going to cross Fury’s desk?”

Bucky felt his cheeks color, “You heard that huh?”

“Yeah,” he said nodding, kicking Bucky’s foot gently, “It’s okay, Bucky.” The former assassin gave him a look, “It is,” Steve insisted, “Yeah. You’re my best friend but, if you want to be a family man I’m not gonna stop you. It’s not like you’re abandoning me. She’s a good girl.”

Bucky looked towards you smiling a little, “Yeah she is. But, you’ve got a little while til I retire. Probably won’t hang it up until babies start coming... I don’t like the idea of leaving her to raise the kids by herself for weeks or months at a time.”

Steve nodded, “That makes sense. Especially your kids. They’re gonna be a handful.”

“Hey!” Bucky protested.

You smile at them from the doorway, “I agree with Steve,” you tease, crossing the floor to sit on his lap instead of on the floor.

“Traitor,” Bucky groused, without and real heat, “I’m telling Becky.”

“Telling Becky what? That you’re a trouble maker?” you challenged, “Baby, she knows.” You steal a kiss and smile. “It’s okay though,” you tell him, “I grew up with Ty. And Jack.”

Tags: @lancsnerd @stevieang @golddaggers @blameitonthecauseway @qxeen-of-hearts @process-pending @xmarveled @beautybyfire, @etherealwaifgoddess, @mschellehitt, @mistressoftorture @thorfanficwriter, @ctinadiva, @innerpaperexpertcloud @amalthea9 @cdwmtjb8 @notyourtypicalrose

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky x reader #Steve Rogers #Sam Wilson #natasha romanoff #soft bucky

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abovethesmokestacks · 5 years

Text

Home for Christmas

Stucky advent drabble calendar

23 December

The messages remain unanswered.

He calls in sick, and with how rough his voice sounds, if they don’t believe his e-mail, he could probably convince him through the phone. All of yesterday was spent curled up in bed, tossed between despair and anger and grief.

He can’t be dying. It’s impossible.

He’s fine.

He’s not going to die on Christmas Day.

Steve.

Why would he be so cruel.

He’s not dying.

He didn’t die then, and he’s fucking not about to do it now.

He’s too young, and-

And then he thinks about his parents, about Becca and Mark and Georgie and Rosie, and the idea of dying and leaving them behind is enough to make him cry. He can’t leave them, doesn’t want to. He can’t be dying. He doesn’t want to die.

Christmas Day.

Who the fuck is that cruel?

He doesn’t want to die.

The walls start closing in around noon, everything in him aches and he feels wrung out. He needs to get away, get out of the apartment. Brooklyn feels colder, and Bucky walks around the neighbourhood in a daze, straying further and further away. He supposes he should end up in a church, praying to God to spare him, to let everything be a cruel joke and to let him live. Instead, he ends up on the Brooklyn bridge walk, hunched over on a bench while tourists and locals pass him by. It’s strange to be up there again, he hasn’t been in years. Getting to Manhattan for any reason is just more convenient via train, no matter how much of a pain in the ass the MTA is. The wind is cold and unforgiving, making Bucky pull up the collar of his coat to escape the chill seeping into his bones.

His phone starts buzzing, and for a second he wants to throw it away, thinking it is Steve. It doesn’t exactly get better when he sees “Mom” flashing across the screen.

“Ma?”

“Jamie?”

Despite his nickname sticking with him and becoming more of a name than his actual name, his mother still insists on calling him Jamie.

“Hi.” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “Is everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? I just wanted to say the gifts you sent arrived today, I know you want to know if they got here okay. Where are you, it sounds like you’re in the middle of a storm?”

“Out for a walk, ma. Needed some fresh air,” he says, and an image from his childhood flashes through his mind, his mother’s face lined with worried and cheeks streaked with tears. Hospital. You were supposed to die. He swallows hard. “So… you and dad ready for the holidays?”

“Oh, you know your dad, he’s been ready for two months already. Please, tell me you’ve not been sitting inside watching tv all the time.”

Bucky manages a low laugh, “No, I promise. I’ve… I’ve been havin’ a real good December, ma. I went to Dyker Heights, just like we used to when we were kids. And… I went skating.”

“Sk- You went skating? Who are you, and what have you done to my son?” his mother exclaims, laughing in his ear, and god, please no no no he doesn’t want to die

“Yeah. Fell on my ass. I baked cookies, and I went to this charity thing at the hospital.”

“What charity thing?”

“Oh, at… at the hospital. Where I- Brooklyn Hospital Center. They had this… this Christmas charity drive where you could bring a stuffed animal for the kids in the pediatric ward.”

“Oh, Jamie… That’s really sweet of you. I wish they woulda had those when you were in the hospitals. Woulda served you better, I think you got really bored there."

Bucky shakes his head. “Well, it was a hospital and I was eight.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you didn't like it one bit. Nor did I, for that matter. You had a… like an imaginary friend or something? I don't know, something that kept you busy, because you could still have the biggest grin on your face…"

Bucky tunes out the rest, his heart beating double time. They wouldn't remember me. Little Steve, pale with a body that looked like it could snap any moment, drowning in the ugly pajamas. I'm your death. Steve with the blue eyes and the laugh and the harebrained schemes that made Bucky double over and forget about tests and waking up in pain and his ma crying. It comes for everyone.

"...gosh, it broke my heart whenever we had to leave you and whenever you-”

"I'm fine, ma," he consoles her, and he wonders if she can hear just how hard it is to say the words right now.

"You are. You got better."

The first tear rolls down his cheek, falls and lands on his knee. He needs to say something. He's supposed to say something. Swallow. Breathe. Smile.

"I gotta go now, ma. Tell dad I said hi, okay? Becca and I will call on Christmas."

"I love you, Jamie."

He can do this.

"I love you, too, Ma."

They hang up and Bucky sits for another thirty minutes on the bench. No one asks why he is crying. He half expects to see Steve outside his door when he gets home. It's quiet inside.

He's going to die.

#Home for Christmas #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Stucky #Steve x Bucky #advent drabble calendar

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jrubalcaba · 6 years

Text

Snapped

“Why do we need to go to Wakanda?” Evie whined at Steve as he and Bucky led the kids, Alice and herself onto the waiting Wakandan ship.

“I told you,” he snapped over his shoulder. “T’Challa wants our help.” As she opened her mouth to argue, he spun around and the look on his face said it all.

Things were very bad if he and Bucky were coming out of retirement.

“Please don’t. We can fight after it’s all over,” he begged her. She nodded, keeping her mouth shut for once.

The ride to Wakanda was fast and quiet. Even the kids picked up on how anxious Steve and Bucky were feeling. As soon as they arrived, they were ushered straight to Shuri’s lab, where Bruce, Rhodey, Nat, Sam, Wanda, Viz, T’Challa, Gail, T’Zari, Kerry, Riley, Simon, and Maggie were assembled.

“Thank you for coming as quickly as possible,” the King greeted. “I hate to ask this of you, but…..” he trailed off, looking grief-stricken.

“What’s going on?” Alice inquired from beside Bucky. He sighed.

“War.” They all looked at him, not liking the sound of that.

“Where’s the fight?” Bucky asked solemnly.

“On it’s way,” T’Challa answered. “Vision was attacked by members of the Black Order, a group that serves Thanos. They tried to take the Mind Stone from him, so he was brought here for protection and to see if Shuri could figure out a way to remove the Stone without killing him.” Evie walked over to Shuri and looked at the hologram she had pulled up.

“Well that’s easier said than done,” she replied. “Trying to disconnect the Stone from Viz is gonna be like trying to undo a ginormous tangle of string, but the string has about a gazillion different endings coming off of it.” Evie sighed, realizing how monumental this would be.

“So, if Evie is here to help Shuri, why are Alice, Gail, Kerry, Maggie and all of the kids here?” Nat asked. They all gave her the same look, before Alice answered.

“Because there was no way in hell that we were being left behind if our men were going to fight, especially if Evie was going,” she huffed. Nat rolled her eyes but remained silent.

“Now that that is settled, you ladies and kids stay here while the rest of us go on protection detail,” Sam cut across T’Challa, kissing Kerry and Riley as he talked. T’Challa, apparently about to say the same thing, nodded before kissing Gail and T’Zari and walking down the hall. The rest of the guys bid them farewell as well, Steve and Bucky not wanting to leave.

“Steve, Bucky, y’gotta go. We’ll be fine,” Evie assured them. Bucky ruffled her hair before giving Alice and Becca one last kiss before he walked down the hallway. Sarah and Robby each had ahold of Steve, not letting him leave. “Kids come on, let daddy go. He’s gotta job to do,” Evie chastised them. He gave them each a hug as they let go, placing one last kiss to her lips as he stood. “I love you. Stay safe,” she murmured, squeezing him tightly.

“I love you too. I’ll be back before you can miss me,” he replied as he released her and followed Bucky down the hall. She turned back to Alice, who looked so scared.

“So, I’m gonna help Shuri , but if you need me, just ask, okay?” she told her, earning an eye roll.

“Evie, get to work. The sooner you guys fix Vision, the sooner we can go back home.” Evie nodded in agreement with her before joining Shuri.

After awhile, they all saw the giant ships land, everyone but Shuri flocking to the window. They could see blips in the shield surrounding the city as the ugly looking space dogs began to flank around to the back, towards them. Suddenly, the Wakandan forces charged forward, engaging with the enemy. Alice, Gail, Kerry, Maggie and Evie all tensed up, knowing that their men were down there fighting to keep them safe.

Taking a deep breath, Evie turned back to the table to keep helping Shuri. The two women were getting down to the last few million neurons when the guards outside let out strangled cries.

The battle outside was the distraction. Another member of the Black Order had snuck in to attack Vision. That asshole’s mistake though, was thinking that he was alone.

Evie grabbed the collapsable spear that Okoye had left her (gifted really) and extended it, blocking the intruder’s staff before he could stab Vision. Alice, Gail, Kerry and Maggie huddled with the kids in the corner, while Wanda and Evie stood their ground.

“If you want him, you’ll have to go through me,” Wanda snarled, eyes ablaze and hands glowing red. The alien smirked when Evie stood at her side.

“As you wish,” he stated simply before he began to attack. Evie may not be enhanced like Steve, Bucky, Alice, or Wanda, but she can still fight. Wanda was doing most of the damage while leaving Evie small openings to get a good stab here and there. Suddenly, he kicked out at her and she flew across the room and out the window, leaving Evie alone to face him. “You pathetic humans and your attachment to things. You are too blind to see the good that Thanos will bring about once he has all six Stones,” he spat at her while they circled each other. “You better hope that your children survive after I kill you.”

Oh….he’s a dead motherfucker.

A veil of red covered Evie’s eyes as his words fully registered, a guttural growl coming from deep inside as she launched herself at him. He was unprepared for the intensity of her attack, which gave Vision the opportunity to wound him with a golden beam from the very Stone that asshole wanted to collect. As the alien was weakened from their attacks, Evie walked around behind him, jamming her spear into his back and impaling him to the floor. She went back around to face him, grabbing his chin to make him look at her.

“I could care less about what ‘good Thanos will bring’,” she snapped, looking over at the girls and kids, then over at Shuri. “You threatened Vision, and that’s the thing about family. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.” And with that, she grabbed the back of his head and jerked his head sharply to the left, snapping his neck. Evie watched the light leave his eyes and smirked, knowing he couldn’t hurt anyone anymore before standing and walking over to the others, hugging Robby and Sarah as they threw themselves at her.

“Wow. If I was into women at all, I’d be so hot for you right now,” Maggie muttered in awe. Evie flashed her a grim smile as she looked around, realizing that Vision was gone.

“I guess he went to go find Wanda. Hopefully she has the heart to destroy the Stone, or at least bring him back so we can separate them,” she murmured to no one in particular. They all stood, watching through the window at the battle down below. One by one the girls and kids all walked away, no longer wanting to watch the carnage. Evie was the only one still there when there was a giant flash of golden light. “Oh my god. Vision...the Stone,” she gasped in horror. The rest of the girls gasped as they understood what had happened.

“Poor Wanda,” Maggie whispered. Evie was turning to add her agreement to her statement when the flash of light went in reverse.

Oh no. Thanos.

Evie stood in place, shock holding her still. How did this happen?

After a few heart pounding moments, the shakiest little voice call out.

“Mommy?” What Evie saw when she turned around would haunt her forever.

Robby, her first born, her mini me, was turning to dust.

“NO!” Evie screamed as she ran to him, falling to her knees. She pulled him to her chest, all the while yelling “No!” over and over, as if it would stop or reverse what was happening. Robby’s terror-filled eyes were the last remaining bit of him before they faded to nothing. She looked to Sarah, who looked like she was going to be sick. Evie cupped her daughter’s face in her hands, crying for both of them, when she made a startling realization.

It was her turn to disappear.

Evie looked at Sarah, her frightened squeak of “Momma?” the last thing Evie heard, the look of pure horror on her face the last thing Evie saw before she too faded to nothing.

Sarah turned to Alice, eyes welling with tears.

“Auntie Alice, where did my mommy and bubby go?” she asked, her little hands outstretched and still covered in the last remains of her mother. Alice ran to her and held her niece while the little girl, who was almost a second daughter to her, sobbed over her loss.

ON THE BATTLEFIELD

A bloodied Steve, Rhodey, Bruce, Nat, Thor, Rocket, and Okoye were huddled together around the gray corpse of Vision. They were all in a daze, having just watched Bucky, T’Challa, Sam, Simon, Wanda, Groot and countless Wakandans dissolve into dust. Steve was sitting, not fully able to comprehend what had just happened, when he jumped to his feet.

“Oh God,” was all he said before taking off towards the lab, needing to know if Evie, Sarah, Robby, Alice and Becca were safe. Steve burst through the door, seeing everyone huddled together. The women all looked up as the rest of the survivors walked into the lab behind him. Alice, Maggie, Kerry, and Gail noticed that there were a few men missing, theirs. Alice walked up to Steve, Becca and Sarah trailing behind her.

“Steve, where’s Bucky?” she asked shakily. When all Steve did was pull her in for a hug, she felt a bit of her heart break off and shatter. Tears welled in her eyes as the truth that Bucky, her love, her soulmate, the father of her child, was gone. Becca tugged on her uncle’s sleeve, and when Steve looked down at her, she asked the same question.

“Uncle Steve, where’s my daddy?” Steve struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, but that was about the time that he saw his little girl crying, and noticed that she was alone.

No, please God no.

He looked around, wondering where Evie and Robby were, his heart beating frantically in his chest. When he realized that his wife and son had vanished, along with his brother, grief consumed him as he fell to his knees, grabbing ahold of Sarah.

“Daddy, where did mommy and bubby go?” she wailed as she threw herself at him, sobbing into his shoulder.

Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, the leader of the Avengers, openly wept as he held the last remaining member of his family in his arms.

Bruce, hearing Sarah’s question, felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. His daughter, and grandson, who was his namesake, were gone. He swayed in place, eyes blurred with tears.

“Whoa, easy Bruce. I gotcha,” Rhodey called out, grabbing hold of the doctor’s arm, who gripped him back tightly.

“They’re...gone” was all Bruce was able to mutter before stumbling. Rhodey, having caught Tony plenty of times before, caught Bruce and let the man soak his shirt with tears.

THE SOUL REALM

A set of blue eyes opened.

Evie sat up, not knowing where she was. It looked like an eternal sunset of orange, but she could care less. She only had one thought on her mind.

“ROBBY!” She yelled, standing up. She looked around, seeing the bewildered faces of the countless people around her, but she spared them no thoughts as she began to walk around, shoving people out of the way, yelling for her son.

After what seems like hours, she, literally, ran into someone. Both women landed on their backs before getting up to see who they collided with.

“Ohmigod Wanda!” Evie cried as she hugged the shocked woman. Wanda returned the hug, realizing that it was a friend, not foe. “Wanda, I’m so sorry about Vis.” Wanda pulled back and attempted to smile.

“I had hoped he would be here, but he isn’t,” the young woman replied, eyes watering. Evie teared up with her before taking a deep breath.

“Maybe he is, and you just haven’t found him yet. Let’s keep looking. Maybe he found Robby,” she offered. Wanda gasped before grabbing Evie in a tight embrace.

“Evie, I had no idea Robby was here! I agree, let’s keep looking.” And with that, the two women set off, searching for anyone they knew.

They first bumped into Peter, who looked so lost and scared that Evie’s maternal instincts went into overdrive and squeezed him as hard as she could before taking his hand in a death grip and the three continued on.

Next were the Guardians, Gamora among them. Evie and Wanda normally didn’t get on well with Drax, but in the situation they were in, they were happy to see another face they knew and hugged him tightly just the same.

Stephen Strange, along with Hank Pym, Janet Van Dyne and Hope Van Dyne, were the next people the Group came upon.

“Dr. Pym, Dr. Strange,” Evie greeted first, making sure to address Hank before Stephen, as she knew that Strange hated being addressed secondly and she knew that Thanos had gotten the Time Stone from him, so this was clearly all his fault. “Janet, Hope. Terrible that you all were separated for so long, but at least you were taken away together.” The mother and daughter threw an arm around each other and nodded.

“Dr. Collins, Dr. Pym,” Strange replied bitterly, knowing Evie’s distaste for her maiden name. She glared at him, cutting off Hank as she retorted.

“That’s Dr. Rogers to you, Strange,” she snapped. Hank held a hand up to silence them.

“Dr. Rogers, while I’m sad that you’re here, it’s good to see a familiar face,” he greeted, making Evie smile a bit, before turning to the surgeon. “Dr. Strange? What is that, like your made up name? Cute.” Evie giggled at the astounded look on the other man’s face, catching Hank’s sly wink as he turned.

As the Group was still walking around, Vision appeared, to which Wanda threw herself into his arms. Evie was happy that he had been found, but he hadn’t seen Robby, so she was still in mourning. The group walked on, running into Fury and Maria, the utterance of ‘motherfucker’ echoing throughout everyone.

Sam was lost when he came to, and for some time of not being able to find anyone that he knew, he happened to look up and see someone who looked like Bucky, and upon further inspection, he realized that it was Bucky. So he took off, shoving past people in his bid to get to the one person that he actually knew. Bucky, seeing him running towards him, broke into a huge smile and ran forward as well, the two men meeting in the middle and hugging each other as tightly as possible, afraid that if they let go, the other would disappear. They were so happy to see each other, knowing that if they were here, then Kerry, Riley, Becca and Alice were back home and safe. They began to walk, staying close by each other for God knows how long before Bucky happened to spot Evie.

“EVIE!” he screamed in horror, as the one person he knew, without a doubt would protect his girls, was here with him. He ran at her, enveloping her in a hug. When they pulled away, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong? Becca and Alice alright?” She nodded.

“Steve?” she croaked, her shoulders sagging with relief when he nodded back. “Have you seen Robby?” Bucky’s heart sank as he realized that his nephew hadn’t survived, but he knew that what he was feeling was nothing compared to what Evie was feeling. He hugged her again, wishing he could find him for her.

Simon wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating when he woke up. He saw no one that he knew, but knowing that Bucky had disappeared like he had, he set off to look for him. He hoped beyond everything that Maggie survived. After what seemed like days, he heard the smallest little voice.

“Uncle Simon?” came from behind him. He turned and was met with the sad blue eyes of Robby. He walked forward and scooped the little boy up and held him tight.

“Don’t worry, buddy. Uncle Si’s got you and I ain’t letting you go. Your mum would kill me if I did.” Robby began to cry at the mention of his mom, and Simon realized that Evie must have been holding him when he vanished. “Come on, let’s find Uncle Bucky.” Simon set off, letting Robby soak his shirt with tears.

Finally, the group came upon T’Challa, who was standing with a group of Wakandans. As they were breathing slight sighs of relief, Evie was still grieving. Not one person had seen Robby, so he was still lost in this godforsaken place. Peter, who was still shaken over disappearing in Stark’s arms and as a result hadn’t left Evie’s side, poked her arm gently, pointing off in the distance when she turned to him. She looked in the direction he pointed and began to run.

Robby. There was Robby!

She ran as fast as she could, taking him from Simon’s arms and squeezing him tightly.

“Mommy!” Robby cried out as they hugged. She reached out and pulled Simon in as well, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispered, grateful to have her little boy back. Simon pulled away, a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Aww come off it, love. There was no way I could leave this little guy all alone. Maggie and Al would kill me if I did, after you did of course,” he replied, Evie nodding in agreement. The three walked back to the Group, noting there was a loud discussion going on, and most of the animosity was directed at Strange.

“This is all his fault, isn’t it?” Evie cut in, pointing at the surgeon. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

“No, this isn’t anyone’s fault but Thanos’-” he started before she cut him off.

“Oh of course. The great Stephen Strange can never be at fault for anything, even the accident that ruined his career,” she spat, earning a chuckle from everyone. The surgeon smirked, huffing a quick breath through his nose.

“Apparently getting married has gone to your head.” Bucky grabbed Evie’s shoulder to hold her back. “But, it looks to me like being the wife of Captain America can’t save you from Thanos either. Tell me, what were you doing while the rest of us were fighting, baking cookies?” he sneered. It took all of Evie’s self-control to not smack the smirk right off his face. Doesn’t help that Sam and Simon both had ahold of her as well.

“No, actually. I was killing a member of the Black Order when it came for the Mind Stone. I see you gave up the Time Stone willingly enough,” she shot back.

“I did it to save Stark’s life,” Strange protested, to which Evie snorted.

“Oh please. What on earth does Tony Stark have to do with this?” she argued.

“Trust me,” the surgeon explained. “This is all part of the plan.”

Evie was struck silent with anger.

“Plan?” she asked. “This was all part of a plan?” Everyone apart from Hank, Janet and Hope all stepped back, knowing that the calmness in her voice was a sure sign of the ice-cold fury that was about to come. Wanda took Robby, and as soon as her hands were free, Evie leaped forward and punched Stephen right in the throat. He sputtered as he fell to his knees, trying to catch his breath, while Bucky, Sam, and Simon all grabbed ahold of Evie to keep her from attacking him further. “SO it was part of your plan to make me watch my son turn to dust right in front of me?!” she screeched, trying like hell to lay hands on him again, reverting to cussing him in Spanish. Strange stayed down, feeling it wiser to stay out of arm’s reach from her. Bucky, Sam, and Simon finally got Evie calmed down enough to lead her away, allowing Strange to finally catch his breath and climb to his feet.

“It’s not like I saw everything, Evelyn,” he snarled, causing her to glare as she made to go for him again. “Trust me, after all is said and done, we’ll all be back home. Promise.” When he was met with silence, he walked forward and grabbed her hands in his. “Evie, you know I’m a man of my word. All we have to do now is wait.” He released her hands and sat down, looking around expectantly at everyone. They all looked to her, sitting down as well after she nodded.

Hours passed, but they felt like days, that stretched into weeks then months. After what seemed like an eternity, Strange stood up, holding his hand out to Evie.

“Doctor, if you don’t mind,” he said. Her forehead creased in disbelief.

“Oh, over my dead body.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stayed put. Strange huffed before reaching down and yanking her to her feet anyway. Bucky and Simon both glared up at him, Robby being the only reason they didn’t kick the surgeon’s ass.

“Doctor Rogers, it’s time to go back, but you have to go first, as the rest of us can’t go back without you,” he explained. She pulled free of his grasp, looking down at Robby.

Like hell she’d leave him alone again.

“I’m not going anywhere without him,” she stated, shaking her head. Strange pinched the bridge of his nose before launching into an explanation.

“Evelyn, you are the only reason why any of us are able to go back. You are the SOLE reason Robby will see his dad again. You need to go back first. Tony will be there waiting for you.” Evie’s eyes grew big as she came to terms that she’d have to leave Robby again, if only for a short while.

“Alright fine,” she consented. “What do I have to do?” He flashed her a small smile.

“Close your eyes and count backward from ten. When you get to one, you’ll be back in Wakanda.” She looked over her shoulder at her son, who was sitting on his uncle’s lap.

“I’ve got him, Evie,” Bucky promised. She nodded and faced Strange before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Seven

Six

Five

Four

Three

Two

One

Evie felt a pull, like she was stuck on a fishing line, and suddenly, it was pitch black. The next thing she felt was sand encompassing her entire body, even her face. She began to claw her way out, chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. Finally, after forever, she opened her eyes, the last of the sand clear from them.

The first thing she saw was the amazed look on Tony’s face, followed by the equally thrilled face of Shuri. But neither of those compared to the look of pure joy on Bruce’s face when he saw his daughter again. The three reached down and helped her up, letting her catch her bearings before explaining anything.

“What, the hell, just happened?” she gasped. She looked down, seeing that she was in a Wakandan robe. Thankfully someone had thought about dignity for those returning. Tony smirked at her, patting her back.

“We brought you back. Listen, there’s a lot you need to be caught up on, so-” he started but Evie held her hand up to stop him. There was something off, something she couldn’t put her finger on, and until she figured it out, it was going to bother her.

“That can wait. I need to see Steve and Sarah. Now.” Evie staggered on her feet, brushing them away as they made to grab her. “No, I’m fine. I want to see my husband and my daughter, and as soon as I see them, I’ll get going on bringing my son, T’Challa and everyone else back, ‘cause apparently I’m the only one who can.” Evie made to walk out the door when it burst open.

Steve.

It didn’t matter if it was days or minutes since she last saw him. Steve was still able to light her very soul on fire with the smile, her smile, that he had plastered across his face. She began to go to him when the door opened again and a blonde girl came in, stopping Evie in her tracks.

The girl had her nose.

Her eyes were the same color as Steve’s, along with the blonde hair on her head.

“Momma?” the girl asked, a smile, one that was identical to Steve’s, stretching across her face as she ran and threw her arms around Evie.

No. It couldn’t be. This girl was too old to be her little girl.

“Sarah?” Evie gasped, still trying to comprehend what was going on. Sarah looked up at her and smiled.

“You’re home!” she cried, squeezing her again. Evie looked to Steve, who walked up and embraced them both.

“I’m so glad you’re back babe. I’ve missed you so much. We both have,” he mumbled in her ear. She pulled away and glanced at Bruce, Tony and Shuri, and that’s when it hit her.

They looked older.

“Wha-” she wheezed before the tears overcame her. Steve held her as she wept. After a bit, she pulled away again only to wrap her arms around Sarah and squeeze her tightly. “My baby!” she wailed as her tears began again. Sarah cried too, happy to have her mom back. Finally, after all their tears were done, they released each other, ecstatic to be together again.

“Evie, it’s been five years,” Tony started as he grabbed her shoulder. She turned and leveled him with a look not unlike the same one he gave Steve when he found out the truth about his parents. “Don’t look at me like that. I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around, but come on. We gotta get started on bringing everyone else back.” They stared at each other for a bit before Evie’s shoulders sagged, nodding as she followed him, Bruce and Shuri out of the room, one arm wrapped around Sarah, the other hand in a death grip on Steve’s arm.

Evie was brought up to speed on everything.

It had truly been five years since the Snap. In that time, the remaining Avengers, Rocket, and some new Captain Something or other (Evie wasn’t really paying attention at that bit because she was seething over someone else taking Steve’s place as leader) joined forces to beat Thanos’ bitch ass. After he was defeated, Shuri, Bruce, and Tony began trying to figure out how to bring everyone back. Shuri explained to them about the journey to the Ancestral Plain that the King must undergo when he comes into power, and that was how they decided to bring everyone back. But, why was Evie needed to bring the rest back?

“Because of your incessant need to get everyone’s DNA on file, you fuckin’ nerd,” Tony snarked at her. Evie’s jaw dropped in shock before drawing up in a grin.

“Normally ‘nerd’ is an insult, but I’m taking that as a compliment,” she teased. “So, you guys couldn’t figure out my passcode?”

“No,” Bruce cut in. “F.R.I.D.A.Y tried but you have it set to where after so many wrong attempts, it wipes everything clean.” Ah. Well, damn.

“Okay so, where’s a computer so I can type it in and get everything started? And, no offense, but where can I get a pair of jeans?” Evie asked, completely ill at ease in the traditional robe she woke up in. Shuri laughed as she held her hand out to Tony.

“Told you she would want pants,” she taunted as he slapped money into her palm. “No, no, no, colonizer. I want the nanomites you promised.” Tony scowled as he pulled the chip out and handed it to her. “Right this way Doctor Rogers,” she said smugly as she led Evie from the room.

After she was able to change, Evie found her way back to the room where Steve and Sarah were waiting and had barely closed the door behind her when she was attacked. When all her assailant did was hug her incredibly tightly though, she relaxed as there was only one person who would be able to do that other than Steve and Bucky.

“Alice!” she sobbed, hugging her sister back. There was no sound other than Alice’s own sobs as the two women cried, happy they were able to hold each other again. Evie felt what felt like Sarah press against her back, but when she looked over Alice’s shoulder and saw Sarah, her heart dropped as she realized who it was.

Becca.

She reached an arm behind her and brought her niece forward, pulling away enough to look at her. Becca was her father’s miniature, her teal eyes the only bit of Alice she could see in her. Tears flowed again as she lamented how much time she had missed in her niece’s life. Steve and Sarah walked up and joined in on the hug, their family almost complete.

“Come on. I promised I’d bring you by to see them all once you got your sea legs back,” Steve murmured into her ear. She nodded and went to pull away but Alice, Becca and Sarah clung to her, so they all left in single file, not wanting to let each other go. Steve led them down the hall to a meeting room, letting Evie walk in first. All conversations stopped as the survivors looked up and saw her, making her feel incredibly self conscious. Nat and Maggie stood immediately and made their way over, engulfing her in a hug, everyone else following suit. All at once everyone began to ask her the same thing: what was it like over there? She knew this would come, so to be fair, she stood on a chair and told everyone in the room at the same time.

“Firstly: it’s orange over there. Sky, ground, it's all orange. Secondly: time passes by slowly. What we thought was months there was obviously years here. Thirdly: Yes, everyone is alright. Even Vision is there. We were all able to find each other and we stuck together, so our big ass family is sitting together in a group, waiting to come home. That is literally all we’ve talked about for the past five years, so we’re just as eager to see you as you are to see us. And yes, it’s good to be back.” She hopped down and was met by Gail and Kerry, two dark-skinned little boys standing with them.

“Evie, it is so good to have you back,” Gail exclaimed, reaching forward to hug her again. The boy standing next to her smiled T’Challa’s smile as he grabbed her hand.

“Doctor, is my baba okay? Will he come back too?” he asked, and Evie realized this must be T’Zari and the other boy could only be Riley, who came forward and grabbed her other hand.

“Miss Evie, my daddy was there too? He okay?” he asked, the similarity of his age and Robby’s threatening to overwhelm her. She smiled, sniffing to keep the tears away.

“Of course, my darlings. They are both so excited to come home and I’m sure they will be happy to know that you two kept your moms safe while they were gone,” she said. They both grinned before running off to hang with Becca, Sarah, and a mysterious little girl. Maggie walked up and hugged Evie again, as she, Alice and Evie had become incredibly close before this nightmare began.

“Simon was there?” she asked. Evie nodded before releasing her. Maggie smiled and held her hand up in the ‘hang on a second’ gesture before walking over and bending down next to the mystery girl and talking to her. The little girl looked over at Evie and smiled, and there was familiarity that Evie couldn’t place as she watched the girl walk over, holding Maggie’s hand. “Evie, this is my daughter, Sophie Ann Travers.” Upon hearing the last name, Evie’s eyes snapped up to Maggie’s, seeing guilt there.

“No. No no no no no,” she lamented, realizing what this meant. “Si had no idea, did he?” Maggie hung her head, shaking it.

“I had just found out since the Magick Swap thing had happened since Kerry had given birth to Riley. I was going to tell him after we won, but obviously, we lost. I wanted him to have a clear head while he fought,” she explained. Evie reached out and hugged her.

“Hey, it’s okay. You had no idea this would happen. He’ll just be in for a very big surprise when he comes back,” she whispered. When they broke apart, Evie knelt down and smiled at Sophie. “Your daddy is gonna love you so much, and he doesn’t even know you. He helped me find my little boy who was lost, so your daddy is a good daddy.” Sophie smiled Simon’s smile, and hugged her.

“I miss my daddy. Can’t wait to meet him,” she giggled in Evie’s ear. Just then, Shuri walked in.

“Evie, Sister, Mother and T’Zari, I need you to come with me,” she said before walking out.

T’Challa must be coming through.

They all followed her back down to the, for lack of a better word, regeneration room. They all knelt down, ready to assist him as he came back. After a few moments, a hand came through, followed by another. They grabbed ahold and gently pulled him up, letting him get his bearings.

“T’Challa!” Gail cried, tears streaming down her face. Ramonda and Shuri were silent, but T’Zari was overjoyed to see his father, launching himself at him and hugging him tightly.

“Baba!” he yelled, crying along with his mother. T’Challa was in shock, not realizing that his little boy wasn’t so little anymore.

“T’Zari, Gail,” T’Challa said, at last, pulling them into his embrace. After a few moments, he climbed to his feet, never once letting his wife and son go. Shuri and Ramonda joined in and hugged him tightly, so glad to have him back home. He looked over Gail’s head at Evie, his eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s been five years since we lost,” was all she said before T’Challa was led away by his family. Bruce walked up then, nudging her shoulder to get her attention.

“We’re working on getting Robby back. Since he’s still a child, we have to take that into consideration so we can make his body as old as Sarah’s,” he explained. Evie looked at him in shock, not realizing that they would have to do that.

“Didn’t think about that, but it makes sense. He’s technically older than Sarah, but if we don’t age his body properly, then she’ll be years older despite them being twins.” She sighed, hating that it would be even longer before she could hold her little boy again. “Well, let’s get started on someone else then while I wait for Robby’s body to be done.” They went back to the lab, pulling up Peter’s DNA file and began to construct his body. After it was done, they put it in the sandpit and covered it before starting the regeneration sequence. Evie went and got Tony and May, who had been flown in from New York, and brought them both to help with Peter’s return. As they waited, Evie looked up and could see tears in Tony’s eyes.

“See something interesting, Doc?” he quipped, voice thick. Evie smirked.

“No, just wondering when you’re going to officially adopt the kid is all.” He gave her a look and May opened her mouth to retort when a hand came up through the sand. Tony grabbed it without hesitation and pulled, May grabbing the other as it followed. Slowly Peter emerged, looking bewildered at first then relaxing as he saw who was in front of him.

“M-May! Mr. Stark!” he cried, his lip trembling as he tried to keep tears at bay. May threw herself at him, squeezing him tightly.

“Peter! I’m so happy to see you!” she wailed. Tony was at a loss for words, simply beaming as tears ran down his face. Evie felt like she was intruding on a private moment, so she got up to leave when she heard Tony speak.

“Kid, under no circumstances are you ever allowed to say ‘Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good’ again.” Evie looked back in time to see Tony pull Peter in for a hug, the latter bursting into tears. Evie left them to catch up, as she had an idea on who to bring back next. She went and found Bruce in the lab and went straight to the computer, pulling up Simon’s DNA to get his body started.

“Simon? I figured you’d bring Bucky back next,” he mused as he watched the machine whir to life.

“Dad, as much as I love my uncle/brother in law, he already knows that he has a daughter. Simon has absolutely no idea that there is a little girl that looks like him and has his last name,” Evie explained, tearing up. “They deserve as much time together as possible. Besides, I’m not bringing Bucky back until Robby is already here. I’m not leaving him without someone he trusts.” Bruce nodded in agreement before walking over to check on Robby’s body.

“Hey, he’s ready,” he called over his shoulder. Evie stopped, thinking about what to do next.

“Okay, let’s get him going while Simon’s body is being made. I’ll go grab Steve and Sarah so they can be here when he comes back.” She left without a word as Bruce took Robby’s body and laid it in the sand and buried it. He had just started the regeneration sequence when Steve, Sarah, and Evie came through the door, looking excited.

“Momma, is Bubby coming back?” Sarah asked, sheer joy coming from her pores.

“Yes, sweetheart. Now, it’s going to be a bit scary for Robby, so you have to give him a chance to wake up, okay?” Evie explained to her daughter. Sarah smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “You ready?” she asked Steve, who looked nervous.

“Yeah. It’s almost like him being born again, but this time I don’t have to worry about you almost dying,” he replied. She nodded before looking down at the sand, waiting. Finally, a hand came through, which she grabbed immediately. Steve grabbed the other hand and together they pulled their son up slowly, giving him a chance to catch his breath. The joy that filled Evie’s heart over seeing her little boy living and breathing again was unparalleled. Sarah felt the same apparently as she launched herself at her twin.

“Robby!” was all she managed to say before she began to sob. He looked around, his eyes lingering on Steve and Bruce before landing on Evie.

“Mommy?” he gasped. Evie reached forward and hugged him, her own tears falling.

“Yes baby, it’s me. You’re home now,” she cooed as she rubbed his back. He pulled away and wrapped his arms around his sister.

“Sarah!” he cried, making her sob even more. After a bit, he looked up at Steve and reached out for him. “Daddy!” Steve wasted no time in pulling both children into his arms and squeezing them tightly.

“My boy!” he exclaimed before breaking down in tears as well. Evie joined in on the hug as they were all together again.

“I’m going to go see if Simon is ready,” Bruce said quietly before leaving the four of them alone. When he got back to the lab, he saw that Simon was indeed done, but since Evie had been the one to decide on bringing him back, he felt she should be there when it happened and moved on to get Sam’s body going. It had just finished when Evie came in, face all blotchy and eyes red from crying. “Hey, so I have both Simon and Sam ready. Wanna go grab Maggie, Sophie, Kerry, and Riley?” he asked. She nodded before going back out the door. He took the bodies and buried them in the sand, getting the processes started for them both. Evie came back with their families and while Bruce helped with Sam, Evie helped with Simon.

“Si, listen. You’re fine and Maggie is right here,” Evie explained calmly as the burly man looked around wildly after she had pulled him out of the sand. His vision cleared and he looked at Maggie, his face breaking into a huge grin.

“Maggie,” was all he said before he was up and wrapping his arms around her, breathing in her perfume and relishing in her warmth.

“Daddy!” came from beside him, causing him to freeze. He pulled away and looked down, seeing a beautiful brown haired little girl with eyes lit up with mischief, his smile, his mother’s smile, plastered across her face. “Daddy I’ve missed you!” the little girl cried as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Simon looked at Maggie, disbelief clear in his eyes and guilt clear in hers.

“I had just found out. I wanted you to have a clear head during the battle, so I was gonna wait until after it was over before telling you,” she explained shakily, tears rolling down her face.”I’m so sorry.” Simon was shocked beyond anything, no words could explain how he felt in this moment. After a few tense minutes, he placed a hand on either side of Maggie’s face and kissed her deeply.

“Mags, you ‘ave nothing to be sorry for. None of us knew this would ‘appen,” he argued. He kissed her again. “We ‘ad a little girl?” he asked, the sappiest grin lighting up his face. She nodded, unable to speak. Simon knelt down and looked at his daughter, studying every inch of her perfect face. “What’s your name, princess?” he cooed, opening his arms for a hug.

“Sophie Ann Travers,” she said proudly before hugging him. Simon looked up at Maggie in shock. There’s no way she would pick that name, is there?

“I know how much she meant to you, and I honestly love the name,” she whispered as he stood up with Sophie in his arms.

“Thank you. This is the greatest gift anyone ‘as ever given me. Come on, let’s go somewhere private to talk and find me some actual clothes.” The three of them left, Simon had both arms wrapped around his whole world.

Evie was too emotional to speak, glad that Simon was back with his family. She went back to the lab and saw that Bruce had already made a body for Hope Van Dyne and was working on ones for Janet and Hank.

“These three, plus Fury and Hill are the last of the un-enhanced. Once they’re all back, we can start on the enhanced people,” Evie said quietly, thinking about her brother in law. Bruce nodded in agreement before turning to her.

“Shuri brought up an interesting point. Since we’re going to create a new body for Vision, why not give him an actual body?” Evie looked at him in shock. “I mean, we’re already making new bodies, organs and the like for everyone, why not him too?” Evie was speechless as she processed what that would mean.

“He'd be in for quite the shock when he woke up, but after getting to hold Wanda in his arms again, he'd think it was worth it,” she reasoned. “On that note, I wonder if Bucky would want two real arms again.” Evie turned and ran back upstairs, finding Alice in the private room with Robby, Sarah, Steve, and Becca. “Alice, I need to ask you something.” Sensing the tension behind her sister's voice, Alice jumped up immediately and met her at the door.

“What's wrong, Evie? Is it Bucky?” she asked, scared.

“Yes, but not the way you're thinking,” the doctor answered. “You're the only one who can make this decision, so I have to know before we make his body: would you rather him have his metal arm or him have two flesh arms again?” The weight behind the question was astounding. Alice gaped at her sister like a fish out of water for a few moments before stuttering.

“W-why would you ask me something like that?! As if you really need an answer! I don't give a damn what kind of bloody arm he's got, so long as he comes back!” she exclaimed, breathing heavy after she was done. Evie smiled and grabbed Alice's shoulders.

“Alice, I know you want him back. I do too, but you know how much he hates that thing, and this is the closest he'll ever get to having the arm he was born with. So, what do you think he would want?” she explained soothingly. Alice visibly calmed and let out one huge breath.

“Real. Both of them.” Evie smiled again as she already knew.

“One Bucky Barnes with two real arms coming right up,” she joked, releasing her sister. Becca came up and squeezed her tightly.

“You're bringing my daddy back, Aunt Evie?!” she asked, tears in her eyes. Evie had to blink back her own as she nodded.

“Of course sweetie. I'll come to get you and your mom when he's ready, okay?” Becca beamed at her and nodded, squeezing her aunt again. Evie left the room and went back to the lab, seeing that Hope was being buried along with Janet. She looked over and saw that Hank, Fury, and Hill were also ready, but seeing as she and Bruce were the only ones working on them while Shuri and Tony were working on beings that weren't from their galaxy, they could only do two people at a time at most. She knelt down and helped Bruce bring the two women back, helping them get their bearings.

“Everything's okay, ladies. We're gonna bring Hank back now, so be ready to help him up,” Bruce explained as he buried him. He then started the regeneration process and all four watched and waited. When Hank didn't wake up like the rest had, Evie checked his vitals and found a weak pulse. Instantly, she slipped into Doctor Mode and began chest compressions and breathing for him. Janet, Hope, and Bruce watched as Evie continued this for a while, the two women starting to cry.

“Come on Hank! Don't do this! I've not lost a patient yet, and I don't wanna start now!” Evie growled, pumping his heart harder. Finally, he began coughing, music to her ears. She and Bruce got him on a stretcher and wheeled him up to a recovery room, Janet and Hope following behind. The Wakandan doctors took him from there so Evie and Bruce could continue bringing everyone back. As they waited for Hill and Fury to come to, Evie put in Bucky's information, putting in a special note to make both arms flesh and bone.

“Motherfucker! Where the hell am I?” sounded from behind her and she grinned. Fury must be back. She turned and smiled, her jaw dropping as she realized that he had both eyes working perfectly now.

“You're in Wakanda, Director,” she answered. He sighed.

“I'm not the Director anymore, Evelyn,” he argued. He was the only person who could get away with using her full first name and not have the wrath of Evie rain down upon them.

“You'll always be the Director to me, Sir.” Hill had woken up by then, so she led them both upstairs, letting them meet with everyone. She swung by and grabbed Becca, Alice, Steve, and the twins before heading back downstairs to the lab. Bucky had just been buried and they just had to wait for him to wake up. “When his hands come through, grab and pull him up,” she told Alice and Becca. They stood on either side of him and waited.

“Daddy!” Becca yelled as his hands shot through the sand. She and Alice grabbed hold and pulled, and Bucky sat up slowly, gasping for air. Once he caught his breath, he looked around and stared at his wife and daughter, shocked that his baby was so much older.

“Becca? Alice?” he asked, afraid that he was dreaming. When they both smiled at him, he leaped to his feet and hugged them both as tight as possible, before pulling away. “I...have a real arm?” He flexed it a few times before sighing in satisfaction and embracing his girls again. He looked over and saw Steve, Evie and the twins standing nearby, and in the next moment he was letting go of his girls and embracing his brother. “Steve,” was all he managed before the two broke down.

“Okay, we're all incredibly happy that you're back, Buck, but why don't you guys take this upstairs so I can bring the rest of them back?” Evie said softly after a few moments. Bucky and Steve released each other and she was swept up in Bucky's arms.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he repeated in her ear.

“For what?” she asked, puzzled.

“For giving me two real arms.” Bucky pulled back and smiled brightly at her. She returned the smile before nodding at Alice.

“It was her call, not mine. She's got the only right to make that kind of decision.” He looked over at his wife and smiled, but the reply died on his lips as he actually saw Becca properly. He spun around and looked at his niece and nephew and Evie could see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to figure out why the kids looked so much bigger.

“Buck, it's been five years since you guys vanished,” Steve answered his brother's silent question. Bucky stared at him, mouth agape. “Don't worry, Sarah and I kept Alice and Becca safe for you. Like you kept Evie and Robby safe for us.” He looked at Bucky's left arm and snorted. “Rocket is gonna be pissed that you don't have the metal arm anymore.” Alice started to laugh along with him while Evie and Bucky were lost.

“Rocket said that he needed your arm to defeat Thanos, but what he really wanted was to beat that Grimace-looking asshole to death with it for taking Groot,” Alice choked out between laughs. Bucky and Evie joined in the laughter.

“It's gonna be one hell of a job bringing Groot back. Hopefully, Rocket doesn't beat my ass if I screw up,” Evie lamented. Alice scoffed at her.

“Oh please. You? Screw up? Don't make me laugh. You are scarily perfect at almost everything, so pffft,” she snarked, blowing a raspberry at the end.

“Whatever you say, Alice,” Evie replied. “I guess I better get back to work. Gotta bring the rest back, even though wish I could leave Strange there.” Bucky burst into laughter as he remembered her attack on the surgeon.

“I want you to bring him back. He said something about how being married has changed you after you left,” he tattled, grinning evilly. The answering look on Evie's face was terrifying.

“Is that so? Well, I'll just leave him for last so I can punish him properly then.” She turned and led them all from the room so she could bring back more of their family, Steve and Alice sharing a look that showed how worried they were for the surgeon.

Once she was back in the lab, Evie pulled up Wanda’s information and began to make her a body, having to keep the Mind Stone powers in mind. She figured that since she was making Wanda, she may as well make Vision’s body as well, since they were both powered by the Mind Stone. After much consideration, she decided to make Viz’ body the same age as Wanda’s, thus giving him a more youthful appearance. Evie didn’t blame them for wanting Viz to look more human, but the phase he chose looked WAY too old for Wanda, so Evie made him look the same, but younger.

“Dad, you help with Viz, since you were one of the ones who helped create him, while I help Wanda,” she instructed as she set about to bury them both. Bruce nodded as they began the regeneration processes for both, then waited. After a few moments, Wanda’s hands came through, followed by Vision’s. The doctors pulled them up, helping them take in their surroundings.

“Vision, calm down. You’ve got a full human body now, so you have to breathe, okay?” Bruce explained as Vision struggled to catch his breath. Wanda, still recovering herself, reached over and touched his arm.

“Viz? It’s me. We’re home,” was all she said before his breathing leveled out. They looked at each other, and it was a truly touching moment. Viz and Wanda stood, wrapping an arm around the other and walking out of the room, completely ignoring everything around them. Evie and Bruce looked at each other in disbelief before shrugging and getting back to work.

Groot’s information was entered, but since he was a living tree, it was gonna take a while. While he was being made, Evie put in to make Quill and Gamora’s bodies, since they were the least complicated. Evie had gone up and told Nebula and Rocket that she was bringing them back, so they came down as Nebula wanted to be there when her sister came back.

Evie and Bruce had just pulled Gamora and Quill up when Rocket leaped forward and began to attack Starlord, causing him to scream like a little girl. Evie, being one of the few people who could lay hands on Rocket without him getting mad, grabbed and pulled him away.

“Lemme at him! It’s his fault I lost Groot!” he snarled, scratching at her as he tried to bite Quill again.

“Rocket no!” she yelled, trying to be heard over Quill’s screams. “It’s not his fault! Thanos did all of this, remember? He was the one who made us all die, not Peter!” She stood up and dragged the raccoon out of the lab, taking him all the way upstairs and handing him over to Thor. “You need to calm him down! He was attacking Quill just as we brought him back!” Thor and everyone else looked at Rocket in shock, while Steve’s eyes were glued to the scratches on her arms. “Steve, don’t. I’m fine. I just can’t have newly awakened people being attacked.” She turned to Rocket, placing a hand on either side of his muzzle and stooping down to look him in the eyes.

“Get your paws off me!” he snapped as he tried to shake her off.

“NO. You listen to me, Rocket, and don’t make me hit you! I’m against cruelty to animals, but I’ll make an exception for you.” He huffed and stopped struggling to get away, so she took that as a sign to keep talking. “I know it hurt you to watch Groot go. It hurt me watching Robby go, so I know how you felt then and how you feel now. But, you guys already got the bad guy. He has paid for his crimes against the universe, and Bruce, Tony, Shuri and I are fixing everything he messed up. So please, stop trying to hurt Quill. We’re all family here, finally being reunited after five years apart. Is that really how you want to greet someone that you’ve missed? No, didn’t think so.” Evie stood up and sighed.

“Sorry for scratchin’ ya, Doc,” Rocket apologized, nodding at her arms. She nodded.

“Thank you. Now, Nebula is gonna bring Gamora and Quill up here. If I hear any ruckus or find out that you attacked him again, I swear I will shave every last bit of hair off you.” The look of absolute horror on Rocket’s face was priceless.

“You wouldn’t dare, Doc!” he cried, which made her smirk.

“Ask anyone in this room. They will all tell you that I make good on my promises, both good and bad.” She gestured at Steve. “I told his ex-girlfriend to not break his heart or she’d have bigger problems. Well, she did and I sent her to jail. Don’t test me Rocket Raccoon.” With that Evie turned and left the room, feeling the heat of Steve’s gaze on her back.

Evie returned to the lab and noticed that Groot's body was still being made, so she began making Mantis’. Bruce had already begun Drax’ body, so when it was done, they buried it and waited for him to come through.

“Drax no! Stop!” Bruce yelled. In his disoriented state, Drax had reached out and grabbed the first thing he could, which had been Evie's neck. She sputtered, trying to fight him off, which only made him squeeze tighter. “Drax, please, you're choking her. Let go!” Evie's face was red when she was finally released, falling to the ground and sputtering as she tried to catch her breath.

“My apologies, Doctor. I was not sure about what I would encounter when I woke up,” Drax replied, looking both sorry and not sorry for his actions.

“Thank you, Drax. Bruce is going to take you upstairs while I work on getting Mantis back,” Evie rasped, rubbing her throat. The men left while she grabbed Mantis and Groot, whose body was finally done, and buried them both. Bruce returned with Rocket and Quill, who was actually Mantis’ half-brother, and they all helped bring them back through the sand.

“Groot!” Rocket cried as he leaped into the tree's arms and promptly broke down in tears.

“I am Groot,” was the only response as Groot stood and carried his ‘dad’ out if the lab, with Mantis and Quill following.

“Well, looks like all we have left is Doctor Strange to bring back, and then we're done,” Evie sighed, the end in sight. She got his body being made before her stomach grumbled.

“Hey, I think I can take care of one guy by himself. Why don't you go get some food and I'll bring him up when he's done?” Bruce offered.

“Sounds good.” She left at once, food calling her name. After a while, Strang's body was done, so Bruce buried him, and then helped him wake up.

“Evelyn!” Stephen roared, looking around for her as soon as he woke up. When he didn't find her, he relaxed. “She purposely made me last, huh?” he asked. Bruce shrugged, making the surgeon sigh.

“Come on, let's get you upstairs with everyone. We're finally done getting everyone back, so I'm sure there will be a celebration.” the two doctors stood and walked upstairs, letting Stephen change before joining everyone. “Here's the last one. We're done!” The room broke into cheers, as Evie, Tony, Shuri, and Bruce were all surrounded, everyone clapping in victory. After the noise calmed down, Evie looked over at Strange and smirked.

“Stephen, I'm glad you're finally here, ‘cause I'm gonna send you back!” She lunged at him, making them both fall down to the ground as she scrabbled for his throat.

“Evie no!” Steve cried as he picked his wife up and threw her over his shoulder. “You just spent five years being dead, and this is what you choose to do once you come back?!” He carried her down the hall to the room he had been using the past few years and set her down.

“I'm sorry, Steve, but he said that this was all part of a plan while we were over there, and it's been on my mind ever since,” she apologized. “I just wanted to make him suffer like I did when I watched Robby turn to dust.” She started to cry and he pulled her to his chest and held her, his shirt getting soaked with her tears. After a while, she stopped, and he pulled back to look down at her.

“It's alright, everything is okay now. You, Robby, Bucky, and the rest of our family are back, and that's all that matters.” He kissed her deeply, his memory of the taste and feel of her lips not doing the real thing justice. “Why don't I go get the kids and all four of us can hang out in here for the rest of the day? Sarah and I have missed you two like crazy.” Evie smiled, nodding up at her husband.

“That sounds great. We've missed you guys too, so I'm sure he won't mind.” They stood there for a bit, staring at each other before he picked her back up and threw her on the bed and climbed over top of her.

“I know it's been five years, but those five years have been long without you. I'm gonna make this real quick baby,” he growled as he captured her lips again.

*************

It was nighttime, and Evie was happy once again. She was in bed with her family, Sarah snuggled into her side and Robby curled up against Steve’s chest. Bucky, Alice, and Becca had joined them a couple hours ago, not wanting to be apart anymore. Bucky was currently smushed up against Evie with Becca between him and Alice. The seven of them were catching up on everything they had missed since the Snap.

“Mind if we join you?” came the question from the doorway as Maggie, Simon, and Sophie came in. Luckily the bed was huge, so they were able to squeeze in, Simon scooting up next to Alice with Sophie on his chest and Maggie tucked against his side.

The family of ten all got comfortable, happy to be together again. They all fell asleep one by one, a content smile on each of their faces.

*******************

Evie woke with a start, gasping for breath. She sat up and looked around, confused as to why she wasn't in Wakanda. She felt wetness on her face and realized she had been crying. Still trying to get her bearings, she looked over and saw Steve fast asleep, his chest bare. Seeing as she had just seen him with a blue Henley, she was even more lost when she realized that the bed wasn't as full as it had been just a moment ago.

Sarah and Robby weren't there.

“Robby?! Sarah?!” she called out, waking Steve as she struggled to untangle herself from the sheets.

“Baby what's wrong?” he slurred, his voice thick with sleep. “Evie wait!” but she was gone, running from their room down to Robby's. He followed her, reaching the hallway as she threw their son's door open. Steve went after her, not understanding why she was so frantic. As he entered the room, he saw Evie on her knees at Robby's bedside, kissing his forehead before standing, Howie looking up at her wondering what her deal was. “Evie! Tell me what's wrong,” he demanded, trying to be stern but quiet at the same time. She went right by him, on a mission.

“I'll tell you after I make sure both our kids are okay.” The tone of her voice was strained like she was barely holding her terror back. Steve followed her down to Sarah's room, still confused. Evie sighed upon seeing Sarah but froze as she realized there were two extra bodies in the bed.

Becca and Hunter.

Bucky.

Evie ran from the room, almost knocking Steve over in her haste to get downstairs. He followed her again, for once almost not able to keep up. He was right behind her as she ran through the walkway and bounded up the stairs leading the Bucky and Alice's apartment.

“Evie stop! Don't wake him up! He could hurt you!” he whispered yelled at her back, but he may as well been talking to a wall.

Evie had only one thing on her mind: make sure Bucky was okay. She threw the bedroom door open, relaxing once she saw her brother in law curled around her sister. The door had swung open with enough force that it hit the wall behind it, rousing them both from a deep sleep.

“What the hell is this?” he groaned when he saw Evie and then Steve standing in the doorway. Alice opened an eye to gauge the situation before sitting up in bed, turning on the lamp on her bedside table.

“Evie? Steve? What's wrong?” she asked sleepily. When she saw how red and blotchy her sister's face was, she fully woke up, worried. “E?” Watching Evie Rogers’ face crumple as she ran and hugged Bucky was alarming. Bucky looked at Steve then Alice, eyes wide as saucers while Evie sobbed into his shoulder.

“Evie, what's wrong?” he asked after a while when her sobs lightened. She pulled away and wiped her eyes, sniffling.

“I had the worst dream ever, and it felt so real I had to check and make sure it wasn't,” she explained. The other three exchanged glances before Steve sat next to his wife and rubbed her back.

“And Bucky was in it?” he asked, a minuscule part of him jealous that she dreamed of another man.

“Not just him, our family.” The three all looked at her in shock, but Evie could tell they didn't understand. “Our ENTIRE family. Us, the Team, the Guardians, Wakandans, Slayers, everyone.” A few more tears fell before she went on. “Thanos wanted all of the Infinity Stones, including the ones that Dr. Strange and Vision have. Viz was attacked so he was taken to Wakanda and T'Challa asked both of you to come out of retirement to fight against Thanos. We had gone with you, as we didn't want to be separated, and….” Evie trailed off as more tears started to cascade down her face. Steve hugged her tightly.

“Its alright, babe,” he cooed stroking her hair. She slapped his hand away in irritation.

“No, it's not. We lost! Thanos punched you once and you went down and didn't get back up, Steve. He threw Bucky aside like a rag doll. He CRUSHED Rhodey's suit like it was made of paper. He pulled the Stone from Viz’ forehead and killed him. And then, oh god.” Evie hid her face in her hands and started to cry again as she remembered what happened next. Bucky, Alice, and Steve waited with bated breath until she could go on.

“Thanos has all six Stones by that point, so all he had to do was snap his fingers while wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. When he did that, half the universe turned to dust. Wanda, Sam, Simon, Peter, Quill, Mantis, Drax, Groot, Strange, Hank Pym, Hope, Janet, Fury, Maria, T'Challa, Bucky, Robby and me all died.” Alice gasped in horror while Bucky and Steve were frozen in shock.

“Becca?” Alice squeaked after a bit.

“You, her, Sarah and Steve were the only ones left from our family. Sarah had to watch me and Robby disappear and Steve watched Bucky turn to dust.” She laughed humorlessly. “If your life was a series of movies, the studio and directors behind them are truly sadistic as you've had to lose Bucky so many times, Steve.” They all shared a dark look, as that was entirely too true.

“So, half the universe died. More like half of our universe was taken from us,” Steve snapped. “Did everyone come back?” Evie sighed, nodding.

“Yes, but it was five years later. Becca was 11, Sarah was 10, T'Zari was eight, Riley was five and Sophie was four.” Evie looked up and was met by Steve and Bucky's horrified stares and Alice's confused one. “Oh. Sophie is Maggie and Simon's little girl-” She broke off as another tear rolled down her cheek. “Riley was still a baby and Maggie hadn't even told Simon she was pregnant yet. She wanted him to have a clear head during the battle, so she was gonna wait until we won.” She sighed again. “But none of us were counting on losing. Once we all turned to dust, we woke up in the Soul Realm of the Soul Stone and eventually all met up and stayed together. Dr. Strange told us that it was part of a plan that he had seen through the Time Stone, but none of us cared. We wanted to go home. Then he said that it was my time to go back because none of the others could come back without me.”

“How was that possible?” Steve asked, genuinely curious.

“Because I have everyone's DNA profile and samples. Using that, Shuri, Bruce, and Tony were able to create bodies for all of us and-” Evie cut off, looking at her brother. “I gave Alice the choice of whether you should have both flesh arms or to give you a metal one. She obviously didn't care what kind of arm you had, just that you came back. So, you had two real ones when you woke up.” Bucky smiled at the thought of having two real arms but shuddered at the price tag.

“Well, at least it was only a dream, Evie. I'm sure that this would make a very interesting movie, albeit a sad one.” They chuckled before the sounds of little footsteps reached their ears. All three kids walked in, yawning and rubbing their eyes.

“Mommy, why did you wake us up?” Robby asked sleepily. Hunter and Howie came in behind the kids, yawning as well. Evie sighed.

“I had a really scary bad dream, and I wanted to make sure that our family was safe,” she explained. “Come on, let's go back to bed.” She picked Sarah up and walked out of the room. “Goodnight Uncle Bucky, Auntie Alice, and Becca.” Steve scooped Robby up and they all went back to their side, tucking the kids back in and getting back in bed themselves.

“Evie, just so you know, Bucky and I would never leave you, Alice and the kids behind. You are our main priority, everything else can just deal.” Evie turned to her husband and smiled.

“That's good to know. Can you hold me, please? I feel safer in your arms,” she whispered. He chuckled darkly as he hovered over her.

“It's a good thing I know exactly how to hold you and make you feel good,” he answered as he kissed her deeply.

@suz-123 @avenger-nerd-mom @aglarelen @amaranthuspetals @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @bad-wolf87 @bolontiku @brighterlightss @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @buckyywiththegoodhair @caplansteverogers @captainradicalpassion @caramell0w @celeb-fess @delicatecapnerd @doloreschanal @donnaintx @earinafae @etts21 @ghostssss @girlbehindthecameraposts @gramaeryebard @jhangelface0523 @kimistry27 @liz-pbnz @loki-god-of-my-life @magellan-88 @marvel-trash07 @pegasusdragontiger @punkfrog @ruinerofcheese @ryverpenrad @sarahp879 @silver-starburst @the-real-kellymonster @4theluvofall @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @stars8melanin @getinmelanin011 @honey-bee-holly @lostinspace33 @dustycelt @avengedqueen26 @amandarosemire @diinofayce @sillinessinseattle @lookwhatyoumademequeue @jewels2876

#i'm so evil #chfil #slayersoldier series #siggie #stevelyn #balice #sarry #tgail #becca #robby #sarah #tzari #riley #sophie #our universe

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eadanga · 6 years

Text

The One Night Stand Part 9

Chris looks stunned as he sees Nicole with Becca. What the hell is going on? What are those to doing together?

"So is the job done?" Nicole asks

"She survived" Becca says

Kaitlyn pulls out her phone to record

Nicole crosses her arms "She survived? Seriously?"

Becca huffs "Obviously we hired morons couldn't even aim for her heart"

Chris clenches his fists as Nicole leans against the car and smirks "Well we'll wait until she recovers then get her again. You still remember our deal?"

Becca smirks "Yes"

"Good cause if I wanna get Chris back I need her out of the way" Nicole says

"You got my money?" Becca asks

Nicole hands her a wad of cash Becca counts it and smiles "MC will be gone I'll hire some people that will make her death look like an accident"

"Good let's keep it on the down low for now" Nicole's shakes Becca's hand and gets into her car.

Chris and Kaitlyn immediately move out of site and as Becca gets into her car and drives away.

Chris has never felt as much anger and rage as he did today. He and Kaitlyn get into his car and drive. They meet up with Darren, Logan, and Zack. Kaitlyn plays the video for them.

"Wow Becca did this? Can't believe it" Logan says

"Didn't know she was capable of killing some one" Darren says

"Let's turn this into the police" Chris says

Everyone nods in agreement. The next day they head to the police station and show the video to the detective.

"Great this video can lock these two away." The detective says "Do you know where they are?"

"Becca is at our school. She's the president of her sorority." Zack says

"Good as for Nicole Chris will you be willing to lure her out?"

Chris nods and pulls out his phone and dials Nicole's number.

"Hey Chris"

"Hey can we talk? Let's meet up"

"Ok"

Chris tells her the spot and hangs up. He drives to spot wearing a wire and sees her waiting for him

"We'll be with you every step of the way" the detective says.

Chris walks up to Nicole and she pulls him into a hug.

"Christopher so glad to see you"

Chris takes a deep breath "You too"

Nicole smiles "So what did you want to see me about?"

"I wanted to talk about us I..." Chris fights to urge to throw up "I've missed you"

"I've missed you too Chris" Nicole wraps her arms around his neck "Does that mean you'll give us a chance?"

"Yeah"

"Oh thank you Chris" Nicole hugs him tighter "I promise I won't disappoint you"

"Well first I want you to meet someone"

Nicole looks confused "Who is it?"

"Police" Nicole turns around. The detective comes up behind her and flashes a badge.

Nicole turns back around "Chris what is this?"

Chris smiles "You. Going to jail"

"Your under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder. Don't deny it we have proof and don't bother running." The detective gestures her hand around showing that they are surrounded by police everywhere.

Nicole turns back to Chris "You set me up"

"You tried to kill my girlfriend" Chris growls

"I did it so we could be together Chris"

"Yeah we can be together to hell"

Nicole is on the verge of tears as the detective handcuffs her "You don't mean that Chris we're perfect for each other."

Chris crosses his arms "Believe me I do mean it. I don't ever want to see your ugly face again and if you do contact me again will get a restraining order."

Nicole looks shocked as the detective leads her away "Chris you can't abandon me" Chris doesn't look at her. "Chris I love you please please listen to me! Chris!" Nicole bursts into tears as she is pushed into the car.

Chris heads back to the hospital. He goes to MC's room and takes a seat next to her.

He lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it. "It's over baby"

Chris's eyes well with tears. He squeezes her hand "Come on baby please wake up I wanna hear you voice again" He pulls the chair closer to her and rests his head on her shoulder.

Darren comes into the room. "Hey man visiting hours are over"

Chris keeps his eyes on MC "I'm not leaving her"

"Chris..."

"Forget it!" Chris snaps then he takes a shaky breath "She needs me"

Darren places a hand on his shoulder "Sure thing"

Chris gives him a small smile and Darren exits the room. Chris turns back to MC he brushes a lock of hair away from her face and tucks it behind her ear.

The next day Kailyn and Zack come in to the room and find Chris asleep. Kaitlyn shakes him awake.

"Huh? What?"

"Chris why don't you go home" Kaitlyn says

"I can't"

"Come on dude you need to get some rest." Zack places a hand on his shoulder "We'll be with her you got nothing to worry about"

Chris looks at MC then back at Kaitlyn and Zack. He sighs "Ok" He kisses MC on the forehead "I'll be back later baby" Chris walks out the room.

Kaitlyn holds out dress bags. "Think she would love these dresses?"

"She would have to crazy not to love them" Zack smirks "And Chris won't take her eyes off of her"

Kaitlyn giggles "Oh yeah"

Suddenly Kaitlyn gasps then she starts sobbing.

"What is it?" Zack asks

"Look behind you" Kaitlyn sobs

Zack turns around and gasps. MC's eyes start to flutter open. She looks around the room "Kaitlyn? Zack? What's going on?" "Why are you both crying?"

"Are you serious?" Kaityln sobs "You've been out for two weeks"

"Really? It's been two weeks?"

"We're just glad your awake and up" Zack cheers

MC looks past them and sees the dresses "Are those for me?"

"Yeah we thought you might like them for the boat dance" Kaitlyn says

"That's coming up?"

"We bought you them in case you missed it. Zack smiles "But now it looks like your going to be wearing them to dance"

MC smiles "What about Chris?"

"Oh he's been sleeping here for days. We told him to go home" Kaitlyn says

"Really?" MC blushes "Did they find the person who tried to kill me?"

Kaitlyn crosses her arms "Yeah Becca and Nicole"

MC looks stunned "What? Becca are you serious? I'm not surprised it was Nicole but Becca? Who knew she was so.."

"Psychotic?" Zack says

MC laughs "Yeah"

"Well we better tell Chris your awake" Zack pulls out his phone but stops himself "Or better yet let's surprise him"

Kaitlyn grins "Yeah and I have the perfect idea

#The Freshman #The Sophmore #the junior #the senior #choices the senior #choices #Chris Powell #chris fanfiction #chris x mc #christopher powell #play choices #choices fan fiction

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 6 years

Note

Do you think Loki or Bucky would ever be into a plus size girl? Feeling a little down right now and could use a drabble (SFW or NSFW) I hope your move goes well and safely and that you enjoy your holiday, you definitely deserve it!

Love What I See

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC | Word Count: 2110 (so not a drabble)

Warnings: Angst, self-hate, body image issues, swearing

No one had seen her since last night, and Bucky was getting worried. He hated prying into her business, but she’d been getting more and more withdrawn lately, and he didn’t like it. “FRIDAY, locate Becca.”

“Becca is in her room, Sergeant Barnes,” the AI responded.

Becca had come to them because of her powers, but Bucky had been instantly drawn to her because of her name. Becca was short for Rebecca and Rebecca had been his sister’s name. That was where the similarity ended, however, as the Becca of today looked nothing like his sister, nor did she act like her.

Today’s Becca was tough. She was a powerhouse. She was a woman to be reckoned with. She wasn’t like anyone else, and she had such incredible self-esteem it was mind-boggling.

He’d heard other people call her plus sized and had finally googled what it meant, not understanding the connotation when he’d thought it meant her big personality only to snort in derision when he’d realized it had to do with her physical shape.

A size larger than the normal range.

Normal range. Even now the idea of it made him roll his eyes. Who the fuck got to decide what normal was? By their definition, he was plus sized. He didn’t fit the same clothing as everyone else. He was far too wide across the chest and back to wear some shirt off the rack in just any old store. He was bigger than Tony, bigger than Sam. Did that make him plus sized? Was Steve?

No. No one would ever even consider it.

Plus sized. It was insulting. She was a fucking gorgeous woman. He loved her curves and would give nearly anything to get his hands on her hips, or her pillowy ass, or have those thighs wrap around his head while he-

Bucky shook his head to clear the image from his mind. That was not a thought he needed to be contemplating when he finally saw her face to face, or he’d turn into a blithering idiot and not for the first time.

Arriving at her door, Bucky knocked on it quietly. “Becca?” There was shuffling from within, but no answer and he frowned. “Becca, c’mon, darlin’. It’s Bucky. I know you’re in there.”

“Please… go away, Bucky.”

Her voice quavered, the sound of tears caused his heart to stop. “Becca. What’s wrong, doll? Look, I’m coming in.” He pushed open the door before she could either lock it or tell him not to. What he found when he entered had him staring at the room in shock.

There were clothes everywhere. It appeared as if everything she owned was strewn around and had been thrown there with seeming abandon.

“What… happened?” he asked.

She tugged the robe she had on tighter around her body and turned away from him, thrusting the heel of her hand over her face. “Nothing. Please, just go away.”

He took three long strides across the room and clutched her by the arms. “No, no, I’m not leaving. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I hate…” her breath hitched, “I hate myself.”

“What?” he whispered, completely stunned.

“I’m fat, Bucky. I’m hideous. I hate what I look like and nothing I do to lose weight works.”

His heart plummeted, shocked by her announcement. “What… why would you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth. Tony’s got that stupid party tonight, another one, another chance for me to feel horrible and ugly and huge standing beside Nat and Wanda and Pepper dressed like a joke.”

Bucky’s fingers flexed involuntarily on her arms. “Becca… no.”

“Yes,” she whispered, looking at the ceiling with a tear-streaked face. “I wouldn’t go, but Tony makes it mandatory.”

“You’re being foolish.” He spun her around and shook her by the shoulders. “You’re in no way fat!”

“Look at me, Bucky!”

“I am looking at you!” he bellowed. “Dammit! You’re one of the finest dames I’ve ever seen.”

“Stop it!” she hissed. “Stop lying to me!”

“I ain’t lying!” He shook her harder. “I look at you, and all I see is a fucking gorgeous woman. One warm and bright and so confident.”

“I’m not confident,” she jerked away and sat on the edge of her clothing strewn bed. “I’m just really good at pretending. I’ve done it all my life.”

Bucky scrubbed his hand over his mouth, unable to believe half of what she was saying. He sat slowly down beside her and watched her play with the tie of her robe. “You know,” he started softly, desperate to get through to her, “I don’t like being called a liar, especially when I never have and never will lie to you, Becca. On my way here, I was thinkin’ what a shame it was that people gotta label everything nowadays. I didn’t even know what plus sized was until I googled it.” She cringed away, but he took her hand and tugged her back. “A size above normal. That’s what it said. Well, my question is who the fuck decided skinny as a stick was normal?” He gave a disgusted snort. “Steve and I don’t fit in “normal” sizes. Does that make us plus sized?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. Plus size means fat, Bucky. It’s a nice way of saying obese. I’m a big ol’ Butterball. Thick, chunky, fat, and flabby. I’ve battled my weight my entire life. I’ll never be one of them, and I’d been good with it until I wound up here where everyone looks like they stepped off the cover of fucking Vogue magazine.” She got up and marched over to the rack of dresses he’d not even noticed and jerked one from the hanger. “You see this?”

He shrugged at what looked like a bit of cloth. “Yeah?”

“It’s designer. Pepper has them sent to all of us. Do you know what size it is?”

He shook his head, heart breaking for her as angry tears fell down her face.

“Too damn small, that’s what size it is. That’s what size they all are. Designers don’t make clothes for big girls, and this happens every time Tony throws a party. I wind up with nothing to wear because this,” she slapped her ass, “and these,” she grabbed her breasts, “are too damn big to fit into something designer!”

She broke then, dropping the dress to the floor to bring her hands to her face and sob like he’d never seen.

“Oh, dollface,” he sighed, getting to his feet to go and wrap her up in a tight hug.

“I hate my body!” she cried, clinging to him.

“I don’t,” he murmured, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “I adore your body.”

“What?” she gasped, freezing in his hold.

“I think you’re sexy as hell, baby girl. I always have.”

“Shut up,” she whimpered, tucking her face into his shoulder.

“I won’t. I think you’re beautiful, tempting, and lush. You have this juicy ass and the best thighs, god what I wouldn’t give to-” He bit his lip, realizing what he’d been about to admit to.

“What?” she whispered, her lips brushing his throat.

The unintended caress made him shudder, and he knew it was now or never. “Have them wrapped around my head while I made you scream my name.”

She inhaled sharply and drew back to stare at him in utter amazement. “You’re… not serious…”

“I meant every damn word,” he murmured, placing his flesh hand on her cheek. “Baby doll, where I came from women were curvy and full figured and could drive a man wild with nothing more than a twitch of her plump ass. You’re one mighty fine bombshell. I’d love a chance to prove it.”

She bit her lip and searched his eyes. Eventually, her beautiful smile began to break upon her lips and she asked, “Prove it how?”

He grinned big and wide. “By letting me take you to the party.”

“Bucky,” she sighed and made to look away.

He caught her by the chin and drew her eyes back to his. “Say yes and leave everything else up to me.” She appeared about to protest, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, and he couldn’t take it any longer, finally dipping his head to press a sweet kiss to her lips. “Just say yes,” he said softly when he lifted his head.

“Yes,” she whispered on a sigh as her eyes gradually fluttered opened.

“I’ll take care of everything. You just worry about putting your closet back together,” he chuckled and kissed her again when she groaned. “Trust me.”

“Always.” She smiled shyly when he kissed her a third time because, Christ, she had the sweetest lips before he finally headed for the door. “Hey, Bucky?”

He paused to grin at her.

“I think you’re pretty sexy, too.”

His grin got all the wider. “Don’t go anywhere.”

***

He waited nervously in the lounge with Steve and fiddled with his tie, hating the damn things still but wanting to do this right.

“You did good, Bucky,” Steve said, tapping his fist on the top of his shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Pepper that mad. Or heard her yell in Italian before.”

“Well, when Becca told me about the designer stuff, I knew Pepper wouldn’t have been involved in that. If she’d known they were purposely excluding Becca, she’d a done something about it.”

“Sharon said Pepper was practically in tears herself when she went to talk to Becca.”

“Crying dames was never my strong suit, pal, but… I really like Becca.” He tugged at his tie a second time. “The shit she said about herself… it was so weird to hear it from her. She always seems so self-assured.”

“Hopefully tonight will be the start of helping with her self-esteem. She’s a great gal, a fantastic addition to the team, and I think you two would be good for each other.”

Bucky made to say more but the elevator announced its arrival and he swung around in time to watch the doors open. His jaw dropped like the glass of whiskey he was holding. Thankfully, Steve’s reflexes didn’t let him down. “Damn,” he whispered staring at the vision blushing between Sharon and Pepper.

The dress was a black sheath which left her shoulders bare, while the body of it was covered in geometric patterns of sparkles. She absolutely glowed and looked radiant with her hair curled over one shoulder.

“Told you he’d be speechless,” Sharon snickered as she made her way over to Steve.

Pepper gave Becca a hug. “Remember, we are going shopping for you tomorrow. No exceptions.”

Becca nodded. “Thank you, Pep,” she whispered, tears choking her voice.

“I should have noticed. I never meant to make you feel…”

“You didn’t. They did and I let them.” She sent Bucky a glance and a smile. “I should have said something.”

“Well, they will no longer have me as a client, so there is that. Have fun on your date,” Pepper giggled, heading for the party and Tony a few floors away.

Bucky gave an appreciative whistle as Becca got closer. “Damn.”

“You said that already,” she teased.

“It needed to be said twice,” he murmured as he pulled her closer. “Please, please tell me you can see how drop dead gorgeous you are tonight?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, surprisingly I can.”

Bucky brought his flesh hand to her cheek. “And just so you know, I think you’ll be even sexier should that dress find its way to my bedroom floor.”

“Down boy,” Steve snickered from across the room.

“Shut up, punk. I’m talking to my girl.”

“Yours, huh?” Becca murmured, tugging his tie.

“If you’ll have me,” Bucky said just as quietly.

“I’d love to have you,” she whispered and drew him closer. “Especially if you’d like to fulfill that wish from earlier.”

“I’d suggest skipping the party, but you’re way too good looking to keep all to myself. Come dance with me in public.” He leaned down to brush his lips feather light along her cheek to her ear where he whispered, “Then we can dance together in private.”

A flush lit up her cheeks but happiness sparkled in her eyes. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“For what, darlin’?

“For seeing me, even when I have trouble seeing myself.”

“Baby girl, I love what I see.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her with every ounce of his admiration.

-The End-

#Love what I see #Bucky Barnes #drabble day

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velvet-tread · 6 years

Text

Unfiltered sweary mess: 507 edition

I had thoughts so I decided to this again. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a habit.

Let’s start with the Bellarke of it all, and the sheer joy of seeing them hustle up a plan together on the fly. AND LISTEN I am not on the #bellamysucksnow train, or the #bellarkeisdead train either and as such fair warning there is squee incoming. It feels like the core of the show has returned to us after s4’s barren years and IT IS GREAT. And honestly? I don’t care that romance isn’t in the air between them RIGHT NOW. I thought I would mind but I don’t. It feels right. It feels true to Bellamy, and it feels true to Clarke, and it feels exactly like the vibe I’d expect and want between two characters who love and respect each other and their choices, who have been apart for so long and need to reconnect. Let’s do right by Clarke and Bellamy, yeah? We’ve waited for 4 seasons (the last of which gave us sweet fa) we can wait a little longer.

And seriously, even if it turns out they are just beautiful co-leaders with a lot of professional respect for each other (yeah RIGHT) they could never, ever kill that relationship for me as long as they are in scenes together like this. I don’t care if they don’t bang (call me out on my lies someone), but the concurrent Bellarke scenes in the dining hall, and the triffid room, and then on Echo-watch just gave me so many OTP vibes. Bellarke are at their most effective when they’re together, even better when they have the support of their genius friends. And we got a return of the Bellarke dry-as comedy double act WTF @the100writersroom are you trying to be good at your jobs or something.

Top bantz, as we’d say in Essex.

Too bad the Bellarke unity ain’t gonna last, but thankfully, Bellarke are just as awesome when they are just…very angry and exasperated with each other ok, but DON’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SELF I MAY BE FURIOUS BUT WHEN DID YOU LAST SLEEP AND DO YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT

Great to have Monty back in the frame cutting through everyone’s bullshit. I thought he’d been relegated to a bit part this season. Oh ye of little faith. Does anyone realise that Monty is the biological weapon earth forgot? Put that angry face in a room with Octavia and see how long it takes for her to crack and wither from Monty’s externalised disappointment with everyone and everything.

Bellamy burning Octavia ow ow ow. I’ve already spoken about this at some length but damn that hurt. And it was deserved, but still spoke to the depth of his contempt for Blodreina.

Which brings me to…BELLARKE V BLODREINA: GRUDGE MATCH

And man, was this grudge match some time coming. To make sure the audience was VERY CLEAR on EVERYONE’S MORAL STANDING, the show helpfully prepped us with some little reminders that Bellamy helped commit a massacre, and Clarke did a load of horrible human testing in Becca’s lab last season. Thanks show.

So, all armed and loaded, the mud slinging began, and boy was it awesome. First of all Bellarke takes Octavia to task about the worms and TURNS OUT OCTAVIA DIDN’T KNOW which get a grip on power here Octavia because it’s slipping from your grasp faster than you can say Wonkru Barbecue (shoutout to @mego42 – your time is coming). But Miller obviously watched the earlier part of the show and recapped for Octavia just in time because she’s ready for that shit and fires everyone’s dark past back at them. Cue: Bellamy’s best frowny face and Eliza Taylor’s saddest, most regretful Clarke eyes.

Bellarke disarmed and cowed (for now) live to fight another war they don’t want to fight.

But Octavia’s grudge match continues in her office when Indra enters with the intention of being reasonable, which is exactly the kind of shit Blodreina has warned her about before so help her god.

Indra is, obviously, the Queen of Everything and My Heart and delivers some bitchass Truths as Indra is wont to do and Octavia rewards her by throwing what my mind remembers as a skull but was probably a paperweight because why would Octavia have a skull in her office *nervous laughter*

Indra leaves, still Queen of Everything and My Heart, but not before delivering a portentous warning about losing yourself in the dark, which obviously Octavia is not going to listen to because DAUGHTERS, MAN.

Talking of daughters, Madi trying to suck at training was the most adorbs thing I’ve seen in a long time, guys and I am subscribed to a LOT of cat blogs. And man I felt for her. Sucking at anything sucks, and sucking on PURPOSE is just the height of unfair. And she’s in a new school! And the other kids are mean! And maybe they eat people!

Serious question though: from whence did Madi learn her swordswomanship? Clarke? Helios? Roan? (too soon?).

But don’t blame Clarke, Madi! Clarke’s Madi feels are pretty much on a par with mine which means she wants to cry every time she looks at her earnest little face AND CLARKE I FEEL THAT SO HARD YOUR BABY IS ADORABADASS. Which also means MAMA MODE ACTIVATED when Vodka Aunt Octavia starts messing up that precious braid she put in Madi’s hair earlier.

Hey Vodka Aunt, you don’t just get to come in here and make executive choices about Madi’s career, especially given your past efforts at parenting *looks at Ethan*

Oh, oh, oh and WE GOT A RETURN OF THE MUSICAL INTERLUDE! It was like Knocking on Heaven’s Door and Early Seasons feels all over again. But I gotta say Jason, fresh from the Sense8 finale my musical interlude expectations are higher these days and I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a dance off. Perhaps an orgy or an endgame B/C/E triad instead? *Wanheda jaw clench*

But anyway that whole sequence of Clarke sending Madi off to her first day of training sent me in to a spiral of sadness that lasted for a lot of minutes I wasn’t counting. It was very sad and I am sad about it. Poor Clarke. Just as well Octavia helped her remember she’s motherfucking Wanheda.

MY GIRL ECHO MY GIRLING UP THE HOUSE.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what a babe Echo kom Spacekru nee Azgeda is. First of all: EVIDENCE OF SPACE GIRL SQUAD and I am all here for that. Second of all Echo is officially the first person on the show to get one over of Colonel Charmaine Diyoza SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING SHOT.

And listen up everyone who bashes at their keyboards dribbling with rage about the things other women like on television: I love ladies with swords and if you want an apology for that you’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead body. But can we just take a (second) moment to appreciate that for all of Echo’s badass sword skills, she is Clarke Griffining up this joint like a motherfucker. Echo is as Slytherin as Clarke and as sneaky as Clarke and as smart as Clarke and that manoeuvre she executed with Zeke and Raven was 100% a Clarke Griffin move, don’t @ me.

It’s almost like….they’re similar….on purpose….

Shout out to all the smart, insecure girls who aren’t sure if they belong. Learn to swordfight, use your brain, and get yourself a girl squad and a soft space dad boyfriend.

Sidebar: Clarke’s faith that Echo would take the eye down and her admiration when she does will keep me in Clecho feels for months.

But friends…I am the most fervent of Echo stans and Becho shippers and I am AFEARED. She is very much circling the abyss here and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. I believe Raven will forgive her (FOR WHAT CAN SOMEONE PLS ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT RAVEN IS SO PISSED ABOUT??) and I believe the rest of Spacekru will 100% understand what she did because it was presented to us as an understandable choice. But but but… what’s next? Diyoza ain’t gonna take the turn the other cheek approach to learning that Echo took down her eye in the sky. What if her next move is to make *Echo* her eyes in exchange for safe passage for Spacekru?

*sweats forever*

That seems like a Diyoza move. And like…where would that leave Echo with Bellamy? Her choice would be: tell him and risk the whole mission and/or turn him into a lying liar to his sister too, or not tell him and risk their entire relationship and hurt him very badly. I think I know which one my loyal girl would choose and how that would end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

*ugly crying*

I’m not ready.

Okay it’s time for a Raven rant. What the hell is going on with Raven this season? Raven has had some beautifully executed arcs in the past, and I am high key here for her to finally get some NC-17 action now she’s done all that Work On Herself, but if Raven’s arc in s5 amounts to RAVEN DIDN’T GET BONED FOR 6 YEARS AND NOW SHE’S GETTING BONED then Imma flip a table.

Sidebar#2 obviously Raven got boned on the Ring, it’s not like they would have had a space orgy without her, come ON.

And just… I’m sorry I don’t get the Zaven. When they released the s5 pics I thought WOWZA these two are gonna be gr9 together and LOOK HE’S A SPACE EXPLORER. How could this possibly go wrong? But somehow, they’ve managed to introduce a character who, on his own, is 10x as compelling as Wick, but has about -100% of the chemistry with Raven. Which is???? Some kind of alchemy??? how has that happened? I love Zeke! I love Raven!!! They’re both MAGNETIC on screen. On paper they should be a perfect fit but it’s like whenever they’re in the same scene together I have the sudden urge to check my emails.

And someone, please, just tell me what work Zaven is doing for either of these characters. What’s Raven’s conflict? How does Zeke resolve it? Is it *literally* Raven being presented with a hot dude with a similar skill set? Sorry I’m out.

And before anyone comes at me with the usual packet of whining about how Echo has stolen all of Raven’s screentime, I’d beg you all to remember that there is no law saying that one woman’s time on tv has to be at the expense of another and this is a GIANT SEXIST TRAP DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

Talking of out, Kabby is also circling the drain and [averts eyes from discourse].

But I’m calling Diyoza’s ship name, and if she bangs Kane I hereby pronounce it TEQUILA [whatever Kane’s ship name is, someone hmu].

OK I need to talk about Gaia now before I get shot down by a thunderbolt. The girl creeps me tf out but I SOMEHOW LOVE HER NOW. This is new and unnerving because feverish religious types are not usually my jam ESPECIALLY if they present Clarke’s daughter with a creepy sacred flash drive that they want to insert in her neck, but somehow Tati Gabrielle nails that line, even if my reaction seeing the Flame was exactly the same as my reaction to seeing the worms.

But I believe Gaia’s intentions, while creepy, are pure. And WHO PICKED UP on how fluid her loyalty is? She will serve Blodreina faithfully as long as she reigns. Huh.

In other news McCreary, and more importantly McCreary’s undercut, were absent from this episode I hope they are both enjoying Memori’s couples counselling retreat. I look forward to seeing his glazed expression next week as I cry my Becho tears.

#rach reviews #507 #usm #is the tag #the100 #bellarke #clarke griffin #becho #bellamy blake #octavia blake #echo kom azgeda #raven reyes #morning reblog

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notconsolation · 7 years

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(when you have the time) another hiking story?🌲

(I’ve had time I’ve just been a little shit about it)

I’m not quite sure what to write about because you’ve now heard the stories i have that lend themselves most to being told. the others are mainly… experiential things? BuT. I did put on the list ‘musings on christiana’ at one point so I’m gonna scour my journal for things I’ve put in there about our least favourite (FAVOURITE) cowboy.

THis is gonna be long. if you’re a casual follower and you don’t wanna hear me ramble about my friends for a while then ciao best leave now. good GOD i can’t believe I’m sharing this shit but isn’t that what my entire online presence is. OVERSHARING, GO:

I actually originally meant I’d just write my thoughts when we met to when we parted butttt then i got curious and wanted to see how far back the first time I mention them is. Turns out it’s Sunday, February 26th 2017. the excerpt from my journal reads as follows:

Life moves along and I spill alongside it and can’t find my own shape. Nothing fits and nothing feels good. I keep making up these paths and systems to get better but. But. I made a tumblr though. It’s 14:30 and i have done nothing today except tumblr-stalk a new favourite writer. They’re just. Aghj (incomprehensible squiggle). Can’t.

Oh my god. If only I’d known then.

Then on Tuesday, April 25th:

I’ve been thinking about my intimacy issues. It’s honestly not very comprehensible. There are people i can pick out that i absolutely love. And not because I have to. Loving someone is so much easier than wanting anything consequences of that love. I love Alessia, I love Becca, I love Avia, I love Christiana… it’s just easier? than what? who knows. It’s got me wondering, though. See, it’s got me wondering about why I love someone like i love stars and duvets and balconies and it makes me want to cry because holy shit that would feel so nice. Who knows, my guy.

Saturday, May 6th:

christiana met edy yesterday and i want to know everything. it’s beautiful and this ship has exceptionally eloquent sails.

Tuesday, May 9th:

Looks like christiana and I will definitely be meeting and I’m…… nervous. I think they wanna come with me into the wild. wow? wowow i’m…?? I think they get me well enough to not make this awkward. Not sure why I am able to trust them to accept me when….

Sunday, May 21st:

I got a few skulls on ebay and sent them to C. They more or less know. But I like the concept anyway

Sunday, May 28th:

my heart went too fast for a while on mandy last night so i wrote to christiana and i think we roasted tyler a little until I felt good again. Then I cuddled with someone. Can’t remember who. God I’m tired. I’m not sure I slept.

July 9th:

I’m at the Russian Chapel up the valley. My ears are so bad that my teeth hurt now. I’m still considerably ill. But! still moving on. I really fucking needed to. lovely people but… food. And somehow too much of everything else, too. OF what? Who knows. I did let C know I’m not doing so great with food, though. I hope she won’t judge. They. I don’t think they will. so at least she’s aware. They’re aware. I feel like an idiot every time I get it wrong but. Ya know, it’s just a thing I never heard or said for the first 17 years of my life because it never came up. So in my head I often subconsciously do the ‘she’ thing. Edy is solidly ‘they’. Jon is always and without hesitation ‘he’. But sometimes it takes a few tries with other people. I have no idea why

July 14th:

I’m at the station listening to a podcast on Morgan Le Fay. I’m nervous now. What will we talk about?? Internet conversation is. easy. My ears are better. I don’t know what we’ll talk about. Shit. I’mm not good at this and i care about this? They’re the kind of person that I feel like I should’ve known forever. As in, i feel like this would be the kind of friendship that was good for both people and gives something that i needed. So. I shouldnt be worried then. But? Can’t help it. I mean maybe it could help that we’re both like this. we may be able to just sit… in…. silence. that. WASN’T intentional. god. aw shit I hate me when I’m like this. is this what it is to care if someone likes you when you meet them??! God, this is awful? Is this what people usually feel how awful. How cool. I think the train’s coming in. I’m barely paying attention to the podcast

July 15th:

I feel like I talk too much. it’s not the easiest it could be but it could definitely be harder? They’re quiet and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m yelling or saying too much and oversharing. Sometimes? uhhhhh all the time but I think that might be my default setting anyway

July 17th:

Didn’t get a chance to write yesterday but! it was as approximately lovely day. Just wanted to record that

(later)

walking with someone is strange. we’re at the place we’ll sleep at now. It was gentle going getting here and I guess it’s gonna take us very little time to get back. I buy coffee and they buy bus tickets. works out. walking with someone is strange but especially given the whole nature of this trip, it’s not too weird. I think because I never got to feel alone, I don’t mind sharing it. I think they’re having an okay time? I hope they don’t regret coming. So what if this whole trip has been… not the seclusion I wanted or needed. Meeting them was still great and I wouldn’t prefer a timeline where I called the trip off. I get that feeling that I have sometimes with Alessia, as if I’m trying to entertain or something? like a part of me wants to be stilted so I have a layer in between in case they turn around and say they don’t like me. I fear I’m telling them too many things. About me, about my thought process, about random things that pop into my head. About things I know or want to know or have picked up. I fear I’m disturbing some sacred silence. Especially because I prefer silence myself. And they’re patiently waiting for me to finish. I worry a lot considering what a good time I’ve had? We ate and laughed and talked. I am so fucking relieved that bipolar occurred to them when I described my brain cause I thought i was doing my insane self-diagnosing thing. We tried horse and i couldn’t tell the difference. We saw some Big Boy Moths and birds called tits. Vultures are unremittingly ugly but i like them? there’s a certain kinship. This isn’t how it usually goes and I wish I could say that without sounding whiny

July 18th:

All my compasses say the sun rose in the north east. Slept pretty well. the sunrise was gorgeous. C said it was more comfortable than expected. It was actually really comfortable. Listen, this will sound like something it’s not but future hannah will get what i mean but honestly their eyes are so beautiful? it didn’t come across in photos. uhh that’s all.

July 19th:

We found an open door in the compound. I think we slept on someone’s office floor. We left around sunrise and had multiple coffees by the river. played so ukulele. listen, this whole thing wasn’t normal but i’m so glad we fell into what we fell into. this feels safe. There were people outside going back and forth in front of the door all night and i dont think i really slept but it was still Good. We lit a candle that slowly started to smell nice. when we left, we left a single cigarette and a licorice cough drop as thanks to the old gods. either way, we parted quickly, just a quick hug and a vague notion that we might do this again? Good.

August 7th:

I just finished the cowboy fic and never has what essentially amounts to a giant meme of beautifulness touched me so.I swear. They’re ridiculous. The cowboys and Christiana.

jesus reading back through these made me happy but also made me cringe a bit because this is what my inner monologue sounds like around people i care about a lot of the time and i sound like such a whiny anxious asshole. uhh hope you enjoy. jesuz.

#long ass asks #phew #turns out i have a lot of musings on you you cursed cryptid?#this was so strange for me #ohmy god imagine if i went through my journal and chronicled my thoughts on everyone in it #uh no

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hello-justawriterofthings · 7 years

Photo

Broken Home.

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This is Completely Fiction, nothing in this story is based off of anybody's life, I just wanted to make another High School type story. I love the boys of 5SoS and all the youtubers, so hopefully you'll Enjoy.

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Chapter 2. Why in the World am I here?

After going home and stalling for almost an hour, Dan and I drove over to Ashton's place. We were only planning on staying for an hour tops, then sneak away and spend the rest of the night at McDonalds. I had changed my t - shirt, but other than that, I didn't care much for my outfit. Shockingly, there were a lot of cars, lined up around Ashton's extravagant home. " How about, we leave now, then tell our friends that.... The car broke down " I exclaimed in a panicked voice, I hated parties. Dan looked around, looking just as frightened as me. " Deal... " he nodded in agreement, I sighed while nodding back ( Let's get out of here ). But, before we could make our getaway, someone knocked on the window. " Hey Henley! " Ashton shouted already tipsy, " Luke's gonna shit a brick when he see's you actually showed up ". " I'd pay to see that.. " I muttered quietly, making Dan chuckle. " Come on you two, the party's just gettin' started! " Ashton smiled, I sighed deeply " Well, looks like we're stuck here... Don't forget stick together ". Dan smirked " Always ", I groaned quietly while opening the car door. " Wow, you two look great... Come on before all the drinks are gone! " Ashton exclaimed linking our arms together and pulling me into his house, I gave Dan a look as he followed us. As soon as we stepped into his house, I felt extremely out of place. I felt as if everyone was starring at me, Ashton shouting at everyone surely didn't help. I took a few deep breaths, telling myself it was going to be okay. The three of us walked into the kitchen as Ashton shoved a plastic cup into Dan and I's hands, " What is this? " I asked curiously. Ashton only shrugged " I don't know, but it's good ", I took one sip of it, realizing that it was straight vodka. I scrunched my nose as the beverage burnt my throat, causing both Ashton and Dan to chuckle softly. " I'll go find Luke " Ashton stated as he quickly walked off, before I could even protest. " Maybe if you drink a little, it'll calm your nerves " Dan whispered to me, I only rolled my eyes while dumping the drink in the sink " I'll be fine with a coca - cola ". He chuckled as Remi joined us in the kitchen, looking a little tore up, " Hey guys, you actually came! " she smiled hugging me tightly, she smelt like sex ( but, I knew she wasn't drunk. Remi's dad was a struggling alcoholic and she hated any type of alcohol ). I gave her a look, with one of my eyebrows raised. She groaned loudly " I know what you're thinkin' Hen, but no, I didn't have sex ", " Then why do you look like you just fucked someone? " I scoffed. " Because when I got here, Calum automatically found me and took me upstairs, but I stopped him as soon as my shirt came off " she stated with a serious look on her face, which made my jaw drop ( That's a first ). " Why? " I asked curiously, making her shrug slightly " I don't know... I like Calum and maybe, I don't want him to be just another hookup ". I smiled widely at her " Oh my, looks like little Remi has a heart ", she rolled her eyes but chuckled. " Well, look who we have here. Little Henley and her loser friends. The squad of Losers " I heard Becca stated from behind us, when we turned around, of course Calum had his arm around her shoulder. " I don't know why any of you showed up, you're not cool enough to hang out with us " she laughed as I glanced at Remi, who looked like she was going to cry ( And I had never seen her cry, she was the strongest woman I knew, apart from my mum ). " Hey, Ashton invited us " Dan spat, starting to get tipsy himself. Becca chuckled " Ashton doesn't have a brain in his head, so do us a favor and leave ", I looked at her slightly " Do us a favor... And go fuck yourselves ". " Oh, we will " Becca smirked while pulling Calum towards the staircase, I glanced at Remi, who had her head hung, looking pained. I had never seen her act like that over a guy, which only told me she had real feelings towards Calum. Once they were both out of the room, Remi sighed deeply " I'm gonna head home guys ". I nodded silently while pulling me into a tight hug " Call me later, alright ", she smiled slightly while nodding " Will do... ". I laughed quietly as she walked towards the front door, " Wow, looks like Remi's got her very first major crush... " Dan stated all of a sudden. I chuckled slightly " Yeah... Now, let's go out into the back... I don't wanna be running into you know who ", he smiled as he slung his arm around my shoulder.

We walked out into the garden, seeing as it was huge. People in boxers and bra's ran around, some were swimming in a large pool, I even caught a glimpse of most of our friends. That is, except for Emi, but I knew were she was most likely, or should I say, I knew who she was with. Dan and I found a semi quiet spot under a large oak tree, away from all the drunks. Dan was blabbering on about something that happened in chemistry, like how he set something on fire, I don't know. I was keeping a look out for either Luke or for Amy, since she clearly hated me for no reason. After sitting there for an hour, Dan got up to grab another drink, but I chose to stay behind ( Which was a major mistake ). " I can't believe you actually showed your face... " I heard Amy state, with a scoff. " Her ugly ass face " Becca snickered, " Lookin' like a fucking troll " Aubrey joined in. ( Great, the gangs all here ) I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes, " What are you even wearing?... This, is a party " Aubrey stated causing me to whip my head towards them. " Then why are you three dressed like you're going to the Oscars? " I seriously asked, " Oh, someone's a smart ass now... Tell me, how desperate are you? " Amy spat. I looked at her confused for a moment and then stood up " I don't know what you're talking about, but I didn't come here to deal with you ", " Yeah, you came to try and fuck Luke! " Aubrey shouted pointing a bony finger at me. I scoffed loudly while putting my hands up in defense " That's the last thing I came here for! ", Amy let out a bitter laugh " Yeah right ". I sighed deeply " No really, he doesn't even know my name... None of them do ", as soon as I finished that sentence I heard Ashton shout " Henley! Luke's wondering where are you ". I groaned quickly as I glanced to see Ashton shouting out of one of the upstairs windows, ( Great timing ) I thought to myself as I looked back at Amy. " None of them know your name huh " she stated bitterly, with an eyebrow raised. Before I could reply, Amy and her squad of bitches pushed me to the ground, hard. I groaned deeply as I attempted to sit up, but Amy quickly made contact with my face, using her foot. She kicked me a few times before Dan came rushing back, I could already tell my nose was bleeding, I also probably had a busted lip and I would be lucky if I didn't have a black eye in the morning. " What's going on here! " Dan slurred, trying not to fall over himself. Unfortunately, Aubrey beat him to the thought and pushed Dan to the ground beside me. " That's what you get for being somewhere you don't belong and keep your grubby little hands off of Luke, he's mine " Amy spat as she sent us one last glare, turning away and walking back towards the house, Becca and Aubrey following close behind ( Like the little bitches they were ). Dan glanced towards me " Hen, you okay? ", I nodded slowly as I stood up " Yeah, I just need a few minutes and then we're leaving ". I walked into the house, trying to locate the nearest bathroom.

When I found one, I locked the door and sat on the edge of the bathtub, taking in a deep breath ( I can't believe that just happened, sure Amy has said shit to my face before, but she's never gotten physical ). After taking a few deep breaths, I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess, blood was not only on my face, but it was all over my shirt as well. I knew it was a mistake coming here, I don't belong with people like this. I'm not one to fight, I just didn't have that in me. I sighed deeply as I grabbed a small washcloth and dampened it with cold water, " Fuck... Sorry for the blood, Ashton " I groaned to myself as I wiped away the blood that was coming from my nose ( It was a gusher ). Moments went by quietly as I tried to clean myself up, but a knock on the bathroom door made me jump slightly. " This one's taken! " I groaned loudly, mad that I couldn't get my nose to stop bleeding, or at least slow down a bit. " Uh... Henley? " I heard Luke say, I rolled my eyes " I said, this one's taken ". " I know what you said, open the door " he stated loudly, trying to be stern. " No! " I exclaimed. " Ashton saw what happened, I just wanna help! " he stated almost sounding genuine. " Oh please, you just wanna make fun of me!... Not happening " I groaned, I heard him sigh deeply " I don't actually, I really want to help. I've got punched and kicked in the face before, I know how to help ". I rolled my eyes, but walked towards the door to unlock it, ( I hope I won't regret this ) I thought to myself as I slowly opened the door. Luke stood there, with one of those stupid smiles on his face. " If you laugh once, I'll kick you so hard in the balls " I threatened in a low tone, he chuckled slightly " No need to threaten me Henley, I'm just here to help ". I sighed deeply, backing back into the bathroom. He walked in, closing the door behind himself. " First, you need to hold your head up and apply pressure to your nose " Luke instructed, I furrowed my eyebrows. " Look up at the ceiling " Luke chuckled again, I sighed quietly as I did as he said. I heard him moving around the bathroom, but I just kept my eyes on the boring white ceiling. This was weird and awkward, why was he acting so nice. " I'm going to put some of this medicine on your lip, is that all right? " he asked me curiously, " Sure " I said shrugging my shoulders. I felt him apply the medicine gently to my busted lip and then I heard him chuckle, that stupid fucking chuckle. " So, do you wanna tell me why Amy kicked you? " he asked, I rolled my eyes " I don't know, she thinks I'm trying to hook up with you... She told me to keep my grubby hands off of you ". He chuckled quietly, but then sighed deeply. " It's not like I came here to try and sleep with you, I don't even like you... Remi and Emi are the only reason why I'm here " I groaned, making it known as to why I was even there. " So, parties really aren't our thing... " he stated probably wearing a small cheeky smile, I couldn't see him though, so I just assumed. " Nope, video games and homework is my thing... Oh, and pizza " I stated without any emotion, " So, you're a nerd basically " Luke chuckled. I furrowed my eyebrows and quickly looked at him, scoffing in response. " Fuck off! " I mumbled quickly standing up and walking towards the door, I didn't need to hear anything else he had to say. I pulled open the door and quickly walked out, ignoring the weird looks from everyone. I found Dan waiting patiently by the front door, " Time to go " I stated with a sigh. " Henley! " I heard a voice shout, a very familiar Australian voice. I grabbed Dan by the hand and pulled him out the door, quickly making my way to my car. " Why was Luke Hemmings yelling your name? " Dan asked in a slurred tone he was definitely drunk, " I don't know " I growled. I pushed him into the passenger seat and quickly jumped into the drivers side, looking back towards the house, only to see Luke walking out the front door, looking around for something, or someone. " My mum will kill me if she see's me like this on a school night... " Dan mumbled with a slight chuckle, " Just text her and tell her that you're staying at my place. Tell her we're busy studying, you live right next door, she shouldn't have a problem.. I mean, she never has before " I stated sternly while starting the car. He laughed loudly while pulling out his phone, making me roll my eyes. I quickly pulled away from the curb and sped away, letting out an aggravated sigh, that was the last party I'd be attending for a while. " I told you Luke had a thing for you " Dan giggled, snapping a photo of me with his phone. " Shut up... " I growled quietly, only to have him giggle even more.

15 minutes later, we arrived back at my house. I helped Dan out of the car and through the front door, " Shh... my mum and brother are asleep " I whispered. " Okay! " Dan stated loudly, " Oh sorry... Shh ". I rolled my eyes as I guided him towards the staircase, but was cut off when my mum walked out of the kitchen. " Henley, Daniel... Do you have any idea what time it is? You told me you'd be home by 11... What the hell happened to you? " she asked curiously while staring at my face, " Well... Dan's drunk and I got kicked in the face a few times " I sighed nonchalantly. She shook her head silently while sighing " Take him upstairs, I'll get some supplies to clean up that face of yours ", I nodded while helping Dan up the steps, him giggling the entire way. I dropped him onto the floor where he normally slept when he stayed over and no, my mum didn't have a problem with him and I sleeping in the same room. She knew I wasn't having sex, I was more worried about all my schoolwork. I threw him some sweat pants and walked into my bathroom, to change into my pajama's. Once I finished I walked back into my room, to see my mum waiting for me. " So, are you going to tell me why someone kicked you in the face? " she asked sternly, she sat on my bed and applied more medication cream onto my busted lip. " Well, this girl accused me of going to that party only to steal her fuckboy " I stated seriously, making my mum scoff loudly " Henley Louise Mclain, watch your language ". I rolled my eyes slightly and groaned " Sorry, but it's true... She kicked me a few times, but I'm okay... ", she smiled " You always were the strong one, weren't you ". I nodded slightly as she handed me an ice pack, " Will you tell me who this guy is? " she questioned with a smirk. " Luke Hemmings... " I heard Dan mumble, making me groan loudly ( Way to go Dan ). " Oh, the Hemmings boy... You know I work with his mum... She's a sweet woman and he seems like a sweet boy himself... Always bringing her lunch " my mum smiled, " He's quite the opposite of sweet mum... He's a punk, a bully and he thinks he's above everyone else " I stated while running my hand through my hair. She sighed deeply while nodding " Well, okay... Just try to keep that ice on your eye to help with the bruising and in the morning, I I want you and Dan to take some aspirin, got it? ", I only nodded laying back in bed. " Goodnight kids " she whispered, closing my door behind her. " How do you think tomorrows gonna go? " I heard Dan whisper, " Like with Luke and all? ". I groaned deeply while turning onto my side, " Shut up Dan, go to sleep " I muttered as I shut my eyes. I heard Dan chuckle quietly after, his question burned into my mind. What would happen at school tomorrow and why did I care so much?...

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Hey Guys!!! Chapter 2 is finally here, I’m still not the most confident with this story, but I will still be uploading everything. Let me know id you have any suggestions for writing projects. I really hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for supporting and reading!! You’re all so Amazing <3<3

Link to all my work - http://hello-justawriterofthings.tumblr.com/masterlink

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clintonshanebradleyontheedg-blog · 7 years

Text

Full Circle, Chapter One. A Choir, a Closet, a Close Friend

Hillsdale Freewill Baptist Bible College in Moore, Oklahoma, wasn't your typical Liberal Arts College. I could describe it better to all the folks out there who have ever been to Church or Bible Camp. To describe one as popular, or most well know, was vague and inconsistent with the student population. Everyone was popular, and everyone was well know. With a student body of roughly five to six hundred students, you pretty much knew everyone. The only way of getting your name in lights was either going to be dawning the reputation of school sinner or school saint. After my first year of seminary school in Nashville, TN. I had to stay home due to health concerns and recovery. During a school break as I was home visiting family back in Oklahoma, I became very sick and had to be rushed to the ER. On the evening of Super Bowl 1997 I was not only having an appendicitis attack, but we discovered it had been ruptured for nearly forty eight hours. I remember the pain was so intense, and I recall grabbing the ER Physician’s tie demanding he stop whatever was happening. I was in the hospital for almost two weeks. Not only had my appendix ruptured, but gangrene had already set in. The surgeons had to remove almost four pints of infection. They told my parents it was a wonder I hadn’t already passed out from the pain and died. After my hospital stay I went home to recover for the next several months, which included home health and several hospital visits due to staph infections. After my full and complete recovery, I was eager to get back to school to finish my ministerial degree. Instead of heading back out to Nashville, TN, I transferred to the associated college at Hillsdale in Moore, Ok. I continued at the start of the Spring semester in 1999. After high school with the constant bullying, and complete lack of friendships, I figured it would be easier to connect with like-minded people at Bible College. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Not only was I the newbie who started mid-year, but I was also the student who was immediately stereotyped. “Sissy. Effeminate. Homo. Queer. Fairy. Prissy.” Those were just a few of the phrases I became identified with upon my new enrollment. Nevertheless, I was going to school for a mission. I was going to be the next great International Evangelist leading others to Christ. I was going to be leading others from the foundational principles and by-laws of the Free Will Baptist Church. I had already been down the road of peers stereotyping me and judging me without even an introduction. So, everything I already experienced up to that particular point was preparing me for the resilience. There certainly wasn’t a welcoming committee, and I spent nights in my dorm room just crying and wondering why no one wanted to speak with me. This was BIBLE COLLEGE, and yet I was still an outcast! My only connection was the student who lived in the dorm room next to me. He was an international student from Saudi Arabia. He was Muslim, and up until that point on my life, was quite possibly one of the happiest people I had ever met. Hillsdale was a college known for accepting international students and helping them with their English and basic courses before they transferred over to the University of Oklahoma. Majid always had a smile on his face, and he was always inviting me into his room to talk about his home and family. It was several weeks into the semester, and I still wasn’t making any strong connections. Majid would often invite me to go with him to the International Student Parties at OU. If Hillsdale found out I was going to International Parties that involved alcohol and dancing, I certainly would’ve been expelled. But, I didn’t care, and I was finding more friendships and connections with the international students. Day after day I was finding it more difficult to even stay at school. I wanted to be somewhere I was accepted and liked. I decided to join the college choir. The Choir Director was a very tall, classy and operatic gentleman. If stereotypes were pointed at me daily, I’m pretty sure the director and I were batting for the same team. Auditioning wasn’t very difficult, and I barely got three notes in before he let me know when rehearsals were. The first day walking into the choir room I remember the silence as everyone watched me walk in. It was incredibly awkward, and I remember two sisters sitting at the front immediately ask me my name. They had just started the same semester, but they lived nearby and not on campus, which is why I hadn’t really noticed them. They were nice and insisted I sit down next to them. It was a small choir, and only consisted of about twenty students. I can still remember tone deaf screeches as some choir members were belting out their dreams without talent. Sad, but so true. As we were all leaving the choir director stopped me to ask if I’d be interested in private voice lessons. My first thought was, “Well, guess I was the one he heard screeching.” My second thought was, “Oh dear, this is one of those really bad after-school specials where I’m being solicited by my professor.” The only thing he was soliciting was his voice coaching to supplement the lack of a real educator’s salary. So, I accepted and we scheduled sessions immediately. The voice coaching was a little different, and at times completely misunderstood. I grew up singing in church, school and choirs, and never realized how important the exercise of the human voice. After a couple of weeks I was noticing the difference in my voice and the strength in belting out notes. One day, after a session, he asked me if I’d be interested in singing a solo for chapel service in front of the entire student body. “Oh yeah, let’s give them some more ammo to stereotype me with why don’t ya?” Although, having the opportunity will provide me the chance to let the student body know I’m here and not going anywhere. See, my resilient thought was kicking in! “Yes, I’ll Do It!” The day of my infamous solo I was sweating bullets. I was so scared and intimidated as I watched each student pour into the auditorium. I just sat quietly and prayed, asking God to make sure I didn’t mess up or pass out. As the chapel leader got up to make announcements and accept prayer requests, I began feeling sweat and clamminess as I clutched my hands together. I could feel my heart pounding as if it were trying to get me to stand up and run out of the auditorium. “Oh, it looks like we have a solo today,” the leader stated. “Ummm...Clifton Bradley, are you ready?” Nothing like a formal introduction! As I walked up to the mic stand as “Clifton Bradley” I remember thinking to myself, “Be cool, and walk with confidence. Just close your eyes and ignore them all.” As I approached the stand I looked out and saw nothing but blank stares and judgement. “Umm...this song means a lot to me, and it has helped me get through each day since I’ve been here.” The song was “He Walked A Mile by Clay Cross.” As the music started I just closed my eyes and drew everyone out. If I was going to sing this song it was going to be for the big man upstairs, and for none of the judgemental church goers who sit before me. The song ended, and I remember opening my eyes and several people had come forward (Freewill Baptist term for sinners needing to repent), and the student body was all standing up. I quietly placed the mic back on the stand and walked back to my seat. Too much time had passed due to the students praying at the front, and the minister speaking that day wasn’t able to begin his sermon. Chapel was dismissed, and several students approached me to let me know how well I had done. One female student came up to me and said, “I had no idea something like that, could come out of someone like you!” Ummm...thanks? Like I said, popularity was for everyone at Hillsdale, but that day I made the student body know who I was. A few days after my chapel solo debut, I walked into the library for a study session. The student working the front desk was nice, pleasant, and not like the other students I had been interacting with. She was different. She had a sense of sophistication and confidence I was immediately drawn to. Her accent was definitely not “okie”, and she dressed in a way that was trendy, but still bible college conservative. “You need to sing more,” I heard her say. “Thanks...I’m glad you liked it.” We began talking, and she let me know she was from the San Francisco Bay Area. Immediately I thought she was cool for coming from some place other than a county in Oklahoma. Her name was Becca, and we became immediate friends. Becca worked the evenings at the library, and it became routine for me to finish my day of classes and spend long evenings visiting with her before she had to close up. She was a good source of information to have in regards to groups and cliques throughout the student body. Becca didn’t really have a group. She was her own person, and everyone was drawn to her humor and charisma. As time went on Becca became my closest friend and ally on campus. Because her family was back in the Bay Area, it was difficult for her to fly home for breaks and holidays. I insisted that Becca come home with me for a break and meet my family. What I thought would be a perfect marriage of my family and new friend, quickly turned ugly soon after our arrival. Becca didn’t tolerate judgement in any form or fashion, and I believe she quickly understood why I had a lack of internal security. My mom wasn’t as warm and inviting with Becca, and my dad was quick to make a comment about her home town. “San Francisco, where all the queers live?” I wanted to sink into a dark hole and cover it up with the heaviest rock possible. Now, Becca has a certain look when it comes to being displeased with something. It’s a look that is hard for her to hide, and when you are the receiver of said look you will know it. It’s a look where she tightens her lip, scowls, wildly OPENS her eyes, and slightly turns her head to the left. After my dad’s welcoming statement, I cringed and saw the look come across Becca’s face. “I don’t like that term, but yes, San Francisco,” she calmly answered. Needless to say the weekend didn’t start off well, and I spent the rest of the time trying to be a good host while convincing my parents why she’s a good friend. I had never had a friend who stood up or talked back to my parents. I found it both cool and refreshing. No matter what my parents opinion of Becca was, I still insisted she come home with me for breaks and holidays. She was my true friend and counterpart. A few semesters passed and Becca and I became closer friends. She would come home with me over the weekends, and I’d go with her to visit her mom who had just moved to Arkansas. I was becoming well-known at school, and also moving into becoming a ministerial leader on campus. My friendships were good, but internally I was tormented, struggling with my sexuality. I found myself slipping into states of depression and skipping classes. The more my feelings of same-sex attractions became real, the more I would withdrawal from people and friends. One particular Christmas break I found myself slipping deep into depression. I had several male friends on campus, but one particular friend I found myself becoming very attracted to. He was handsome, athletic, charming and kind. We spent a lot of time together, and in my state of depression I withdrew from everyone. I stopped returning my friends phone calls, and I stopped going to my mid-year class, which had both Becca and my friend in it. The guilt and shame I was feeling became so overwhelming that I resorted to my closet to pray and cry the “sin” away. The phone consistently rang, but I didn’t answer. Finally, the doorbell rang, and I heard Becca open the door as she said hello and ask if I was there. “I’m here,” I said through the tears, sitting in my closet. “What is going on? Do you know how many people are worried to death about you?” I couldn’t stop the tears in order to make a clear answer to her question. I took a couple of deep breaths. “Becca, there is something I have to tell you that no one else knows, and you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.” I could see the look in her eyes, and little did I know she already knew the answer. Years of battling this secret, and here I was sitting in a closet with my closest bible college friend about to reveal. But, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. Every time I tried to mutter, “I’m gay,” the tears and crying just became more intense. Finally, I looked at Becca and said, “Can you guess what it is?” She calmly replied, “Is it because you think you might be gay?” This was it...there was no turning back. This was the inevitable moment in my life, and there was no turning back. But, the moment she asked me, I remember a peace and calmness I had never felt before. I asked Becca what I should do. She didn’t have any answers, instead she sat with me and cried. I looked up at her and asked why she was crying. She simply replied, “Because you’re hurting, and I can’t imagine the torment you must be going through.” Becca and I both knew coming to terms with my sexuality also meant coming to terms with our school policy. The student handbook stated that if any student were to reveal or act upon “homosexual” feelings or activities, they must be expelled or adhere to a conversion therapy program. That night Becca also had her own reveal. She let me know that her sister had recently come out to her. Becca’s sister still lived in the Bay Area. Not only was her sister, her sister, but she was also her best friend. Becca was coming to terms with knowing her sister was a lesbian, and also knowing our church’s teaching. Our church taught that it’s better to shun the sinner in order for them to see the error in their ways, and hopefully they will return from a reprobate state of mind. Becca and I just sat, cried and hugged each other. We had no idea what was in store for us, but we knew we had each other.

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the-story-yard-blog · 6 years

Text

Heaven can wait

Sunlight shines through a dirty window and onto my messy floor, covered in used clothes. I´m in the middle of the room in a queen-sized bed, covered under two blankets. I prefer laying so close to the side that any movement could make me tumble to the floor. A knock on the door makes me stir and fall to the ground. The door opens and reveals a middle-aged man with a mustache. He looks grumpy in my direction while I’m laying on the floor, amused. “Maybe we should put some pillows around your bed.” He says, now also amused.

“I´m not used to having such a big bed,” I mumble.

“You slept in that bed for years.” He says as he takes two small steps into the room.

“Only took a week to forget what it was like,” I mumble as I rub my eyes.

His smile fades. “Breakfast is on the table”

“Isn´t it like midday?” I ask trying to get up.

“Well, it’s breakfast time for you”

“Did you make two breakfasts today?”

“Maybe,” He answers with his smile back on his face. He might be the only Dad in the world who would do that.

“I might have to make a third one if you don’t hurry and come down.”

“Can I get dressed first?”

“Honey, the bacon,” He notes, almost sounding cartoonish. As he leaves the door stays open, typical.

“I´ll be quick,” I yell into his direction. As I open the dark painted closet that I had since I was eight, a bundle of unfolded clothes falls onto me, almost making me fall to the floor, again. If Dad would be here right now he would lose his mind. Not really sure where he got this obsession with nicely folded clothes from since he isn't a neat freak at all. He also didn’t give the character trait of loving neatly folded clothes to me which is unfortunate. He did give me his urgent desire to have an unnecessary tough life by being creative and lazy, maybe the worst combination. But I am thankful for the creativity part, I really am, but man life would be easier if I would find satisfaction in working at an office like Mom. She didn’t give that to me though, just gave me her naturally brown hair and unnaturally dark eye-bags. Not really sure if I want to actually put these clothes back into the closet or just have them lay on my feet, at least that way my feet are cozy.

Why exactly do people dress up for funerals? To impress the dead? Maybe I can try to be the best-looking person there. A quite shallow thought but I definitely have the best crying face, thankfully, I´ll be needing that today. A black dress that goes just below my knees and a black blazer should be enough. Two of the five, maybe six, pieces of clothing that are still inside of the closet.

“It´ll do,” I tell myself. I take both the dress and the blazer out of the closet.

“Oh sweetie what happened here?” I can hear from the doorway. I turn my head and see Dad with a frown on his face.

“Don´t worry about it, we can take care of this when we come back, ok?” His voice gets softer with every word. I nod. He must think this has something to do with the funeral and not my inability to put clothes away properly.

“Can you hurry?” Again, I nod. He awkwardly leaves the room and closes the door for me to change. I put the dress and blazer onto the bed. The seriousness of the situation is hitting me in the back of my head like a murderer hitting me with a shovel he would also eventually use to bury my body. I take the dress in my hands. The fabric feels thin between my fingers. I put the dress up to my nose to smell it. Smells like a perfume I don´t recognize, doesn’t smell like me at all. I rush out of my clothes and into my black armor for today.

After ten minutes of me trying to put on a bit more makeup than usually I give up and storm down the stairs where my father is waiting for me, my purse in his hand.

“Looks good,” Dad says. I ignore him and take my purse. The drive to the funeral is tense. I can tell that Dad wants to speak about it but can’t get himself to. He takes a deep breath like he is about to say something. I turn on the radio. Queen’s “Somebody to love” starts playing. I look over to him when the final bridge of the song starts. He is lip-syncing to the song passionately. We stop at a red light and he gets really into it. I turn off the radio.

“Can anybody find me-” “-Sam” I interrupt his performance.

“I´m sorry, sorry.” He raises his hands in a defensive but playful way. He sniffles and quickly turns his head.

“Are you ok?” He asks me.

“Am I ok?” The confusion of my voice seems to catch him off guard.

“Ok, I´ll ask you again after the funeral.” His voice gets lower at the word “funeral”. Someone honks behind us, making Dad start driving again.

“People are so rude today. Can’t even have a moment with your daughter”

“Can you not act weird...at the funeral?” A moment of silence. Dad seems concentrated on the road now.

“Yeah...sure.” Another moment of silence follows.

“Can you call me Dad please, just for today.”

“Why?”

“That’s what I am. Your Dad” Neither of us says anything to that.

As we get into the church it seems like we are late. Most of the seats are already taken and barely any empty seats are left. I lean over.

“Are we late?” I ask Dad in a whisper while he nervously plays with his tie.

“We are not.” He does not look at me.

“Maybe Rebecca was more popular than you thought.” We sit down in the far back next to an old couple I don´t recognize. The old lady smiles at me as we sit down, the old man doesn´t. They both look like they have been crying.

“What a tragedy.” The old lady utters to Dad and I.

“A young life was taken too soon,” Dad responds back, making the lady tear up.

“Way too young.” She mumbles while wiping away tears.

“Wasn't it kinda her own fault?” I whisper to my Dad without the desire to have anyone but him hear it. I should work on my whisper voice. Dad and the lady look shocked while the man has the same expression on his face as before. Did I really just say that? I turn to Dad.

“Was it not?” I whisper even quieter now. Another old lady sitting a row in front of us turns around.

“This kind of disrespect in a holy place” Dad grabs my arm.

“Can you go outside and wait until this is over” He whispers, to keep the attention away from us.

“Why?” My arm hurts.

“This is unacceptable behavior. You didn’t even want to come”

“Since when?” I do remember telling him that I didn't want to go but that was right after everything went downhill and the only thing I felt towards Becca was anger.

“Just Go”

“Do I not get to say goodbye?”

“Not the most entertaining thing,” I claim bored. We are in the car on the way home. It started raining because of course, it would. The car drives into the driveway. Dad didn’t say anything on the way home. He turns the engine off. I open the door; the smell of fresh rain hits my nose. I wish it would rain more often. I’m halfway out of the car when Dad grabs me by my arm, again.

“I know I acted like the fool that I am,” I say with a tone of sarcasm in my voice before fully getting out of the car. I lean back down to face Dad.

“And all those people hate me, what a shame.” I shut the car door and walk up to the front door past a bunch of flowers. They never liked me anyway.

“Jenna” I turn around expecting trouble.

“There is something I need to show you.” We get to Dad’s office upstairs. Both of us are completely soaked from the few seconds outside. He opens the door slowly, it squeaks. I never get to come in here. The office is small and there are scribbled on papers and unwashed brushes everywhere making the space look even smaller.

“It’s usually more organized,” Dad assures me as he walks over to his desk, taking big steps. The desk has canvases spread upon it. I stay in the doorway. I would have to jump to get to the desk. He puts a few canvases on the floor while I lean my soaked shoulder onto the doorframe.

“What do you think?” He is holding a canvas in his hand. A portrait of…

“Becca? You painted Becca. Why?”

“As a nice gesture. I thought of giving it to the family or maybe...you want it” He wasn’t a friend of the family or Becca. What is he thinking?

“Whatever you do, do not give it to her family.” It’s a well-painted portrait. He’s a talented artist but the portrait doesn't really look too happy. He looks disappointed at that answer.

“The background is too dark and her face too pale, did you mean to make her look...dead?”

“I did not.” He looks even more disappointed now.

“We can hang it up here,” I say.

“In the office?” We both look at the office walls that are all covered in painting.

“Or in the living room...if you want too,” I whisper. The only place where there is still space for a portrait.

“Sounds like an idea,” He notes as he grabs the painting and tries to walk back to the door over the mess of a room.

“Maybe you can give it to Becca's parents in a few weeks or months, I don´t know, seems a bit insensitive to give it to them now, you know how they can be.” Dad successfully gets to the doorway.

“I wanted to do something for them, show some sympathy”

“You care too much Sam.”

“Sorry.” He replies, making me roll my eyes.

“Don’t be” I try to give a small smile before walking down the hall and down the stairs. Dad follows close behind me like a dog. Instead of walking into the living room, I stop at the main door to take my shoes off. As I get into the living room Dad is standing on a chair that is usually positioned in the dining room. He is struggling, trying to find a good angle for the painting. Instead of helping I decide to flop down onto our old mustard yellow couch. After picking up the remote control of the other end off the couch, I turn the TV on and flip through the channels.

The face of an old lady graces the TV. She holds ugly jewelry. Click. A show about houses getting renovated. Click. A soccer game. Click. I sink deeper into the couch. A show about “real” ghost hunter. Click. A local news show. I hear a bang from behind me, I sit up straight and turn my head. Dad is laying on the ground holding his left hand. The painting and the chair he was standing on are laying next to him. I stand up.

“Did you fall?”

“I just like acting like I´m hurt, you should know that.” I love his sarcasm. Usually, I would roll my eyes but it seems like he really hurt himself. After walking up to him and kneeling down, I take his hand carefully. He flinches.

“Sounds like an issue for the hospital,” I tell him while pointing to his hand.

“Or some ice.” He mumbles with pain in his voice.

“Come on.” I get up and stretch out my hand to him and he takes it. In the background, the local news show is still playing.

“The storm will last for a few hours, make sure you are inside, we will keep you updated.” Assures an anchorman in a monochrome voice. Dad, now standing is watching the news from where he fell while I pick up the chair and walk to the main door to put my shoes back on.

“Keep them off sweetie, looks like you’ll be making sure nothing happens to the house.” He blurts while looking at the TV. “...or you.” He whispers to himself.

“Come on. I’ll drive you real quick.” Dad walks up to me.

“One hurt person is already enough.” I end up helping Dad into his jacket.

“So, you want me to stay here? Look after the house for an hour?” I ask confused.

“And yourself” He adds. He worries too much.

“If that’s what you want then go.” I hand him the car keys. He opens the door, wind crashing into the house.

“Do me a favor, put the painting on the wall and...use the ladder from the basement please” I smile and half enthusiastically salute at him.

“Aye aye, sir.”

“Ok, see you later.”

“Bye,” I close the door quickly and keep my hand on the doorknob for a moment. The sound of the TV rings through my ears. I walk back into the living room and look at the painting. It has a sinister feel to it even without seeing clearly what's painted on it. I sit down on the couch and look at the TV, ads are now playing. I look back at the painting and decide to do what I was told to do for once. After getting the painting from the ground I hold it in my hands for a second, I carefully lean it against the wall.

After a hot minute, I´m in the basement which does not look as creepy as could be assumed from looking at the house. The lights work perfectly fine but the ladder I’m looking for is unfortunately in the far back of the basement. Thank god this isn’t anyone else's basement which would be creepier. Any basement would be creepier. The dust on the ladder tickles my nose as I grab it with one hand. Heavier than I remember or maybe I just got weaker a possibility. After getting the ladder out of the basement and into the living room I notice that the TV is back on the news station. I put the ladder onto the ground and go into the kitchen to get a nail which I find fast. It’s in the same cabinet where we keep most things we barely ever use. I close the cabinet and the lights turn off.

“Fuck,” I groan into the air. I go back into the living room, take my phone out of the pocket of my blazer and put the flashlight on before laying it onto the ground so it can illuminate the part of the room that I need to be illuminated. I push the ladder close to the wall and take the nail out of my pocket. Wait I need a hammer. Don´t think we have that kind of stuff. I look around the room. The remote control. It feels light in my hand which is a sign that I should not use it as a hammer. I´m up to the ladder with the remote control in one hand and the nail between my lips. Not really caring about the outcome I just hit the nail into the wall with the remote control. Surprise, it did not break. I put the painting up there and it looks as creepy as I thought. Enough work for today. Feels like it’s staring at me, maybe dad painted the eyes too big?

My phone, still on the floor, starts ringing. “Jesus” Wrong moment for a silence disturbing noise. I pick it up and the second I hit the green button the voice of a stressed women yells in my ear.

“Hey Diane,” I answer, not being excited about the following conversation.

“Your Dad is in the hospital.”

“I know”

“And I find out about this now? for what reason?” I let out an annoyed breath.

“But you did find out didn’t you? Isn’t that enough?”

“If one of you gets hurt, I want an immediate call” She snaps.

“Sound like Dad gave you one” I snap back. An average conversation between a daughter and her mother.

“Immediate, Jenna,” She remarks before it's her turn to let out an annoyed breath. After a moment of silence

“How was college today?” Whenever we talk on the phone it sounds like she has a list of things she needs to talk about before hanging up.

“Yeah I...it was good” I lie, not having been to college or any school for that matter in over five months.

“We can talk about this later. I´ll be driving your Dad home from the hospital.” A sudden tension in my body lets me know that I probably have to make up some more lies for later

“Jenna?”

“Yes...see you later bye.” Without waiting for a response, I hang up. I throw the phone onto the couch. Now I have to clean my room before she gets here or maybe at least make it look like a busy college student lives there.

I swing the door open to my room and I am met with a mess that is embarrassing, considering the fact that I had time to not just clean my room but the whole house and even the neighbor's house in the time I haven’t been doing what my mom thinks I´m doing. I might be rubbing off onto Dad. Oh god, we don´t need two unorganized messes in this house. Instead of taking the still scatter clothes from the floor and putting them neatly into the closet, I grab a handful of what I assume are just pieces of clothing and throw them where they belong. Once that is done, I look at my results. Maybe I´m not that messy. My room is cleaner than Dad´s office.

The door to Dad´s office creaks loudly as I open it, like a natural alarm in case anyone would break in. It looks messier in here than before. I take big steps to get to the desk. I look at the other canvases, they all look way happier than the unnecessary creepy painting downstairs. For a moment I think about cleaning up a bit, be a good daughter and take some work from my Dad's hands but all this stuff might be that way for a reason. How would I know what needs to where? I lay my palm on the canvas in front of me. The uneven feel of the dried paint feels nice, almost like a little massage for my hand. My massage stops abruptly when a loud noise makes me jump. Great, now all my relaxation is gone. I turn around to where the noise came from. A crack on the window and blood. Must have been a blind bird or a stupid one. To imply that such odd timing didn’t make me feel a bit uneasy would be a lie, but there are a woods around here, which means they're also must be many birds around. Stupid birds that fly into windows at full speed. The cracking of the office door makes me turn around. I´m on edge now, to say the least.

As I walk downstairs, I realize just how bad the storm has become. I should probably call Dad. My feet touch the last step and the sound of the TV fills my ears. I guess the storm just sounds worse than it actually is and the electricity is working again? My hands fly to the nearest light switch, I push the button but the only light in the room is the one from outside. I walk to the living room and the TV isn’t on. Maybe it’s the radio but we don’t have one. I walk up to the TV, maybe the sound is working but the screen isn´t. I go down on my knees, as I put my hand on the screen it turns on. Still the news show. Still the same guy. I´m about to get up when I notice the screen switching between channels. I get up and hit the TV a few times. It keeps changing channels. I stare at the painting, then back to the person holding the remote, my thoughts start drifting and leaving my head in a cloudy haze. The moon is almost full today and shining into the room. My heart keeps skipping beats.

“What are you thinking about?” Becca asks me as she is casually sitting on the couch. She doesn’t seem tense at all, I wonder if she can tell how fast my heart is beating. Pretty sure most people could hear it.

“What?” My head is still cloudy.

“Like what's going on inside your head?” She asks as she leans forward, her elbows on her knees and her hands on her face.

“Not much, mostly screaming,” I utter a bit too quiet.

“Boo...what a shitty answer. You need to stop acting like a suffering artist Jenna, I´ve been telling you that for years.” She replies with a smile on her face probably thinking back to times gone by. I relax and turn to face her.

“How would you know, you can’t look into my head.” I snap back playfully.

“You are just like your dad.” She claims in a whisper after a moment of silence.

“Sam isn’t a suffering artist. He’s probably the happiest person I know.” I respond, believing everything I say.

“Did I call him a suffering artist or you? Whatever...still painted a portrait of a dead girl.” I don’t react to that, I turn back to look at the portrait. A shiver runs through my body. Did I hit my head or was everything a dream?

“You’re hungry?” I ask as I look back at Becca with a fake smile not knowing what to say. None of this is making sense.

It’s obvious that I am having a mental break or maybe I ate something wrong. Can that make you see stuff? You can eat weed and that’s a drug but it doesn´t make you see stuff. I think. But LSD or any other-

“Jenna?” My thoughts get interrupted and I almost drop the knife I’m holding for the butter I planned on putting on the toast in front of me.

“I´ll be done in a second, you always loved a lot of butter I remember,” I say as we both now stand in the kitchen.

“I think I need some help.” She confesses with a tremble in her voice. I turn around, the knife still in my hand. As I see the issue that made Becca ask for my help I drop the knife. Her arm looks like it’s detaching itself from her body. Only the bones keep the arm attached. The flesh and skin on her upper arm looks like it almost disappeared completely and there is so much blood. Too much blood. Her whole arm is covered and left a track of blood drops on the floor behind her. I stare blankly at the arm. My head gets cloudy again.

“Jenna,” Becca yells in a frustrated tone. I snap out of it and quickly walk to a cabinet in the kitchen which might contain just what we need. I open it quickly almost sending the whole thing flying across the kitchen.

“Thank God,” I shout relieved. I take a roll of tape and before I can walk back to Becca, she is already standing behind making me jump. I start putting tape everywhere there is no skin which seems to have gotten more? Once everything is covered, I try to rip off the tape off but my shaking hands keep me from succeeding in such a simple task. Becca rips the tape out of my hand and bites it off.

“You need to breath.” She tells me.

“You need to stop scaring me,” I demand, feeling slightly exhausted from the constant tension and the handful of real-life jump scares. Becca looks at her arm.

“Not your best work, maybe your Dad would have done a better job, what do you think?” She walks back into the living room smearing some of the blood drops on the floor like she didn’t almost lose her arm out of nowhere. The comment she made slightly irritated me.

“Where is he anyway?” She asks as she sits down on the couch again. I take a deep breath.

“He’s on the way to the hospital.” I turn around the corner to look at her as I’m trying to act casual. “He hurt himself trying to hang up that stupid painting.”

“Let's hope he didn’t get in a crash, what an unfortunate fate that would be.” The comment throws me off and reminds me who I’m talking too.

“You have gotten slower at making sandwiches I see.” She says casually.

“Comes with the age,” I reply light-hearted surprising myself. I go back into the kitchen following the blood on the floor. The butter knife is now also covered in blood. I pick it up and look at it for a second. The blood runs down to my hand. As it touches my hand I throw the knife into the sink. The sound of metal on metal rings in my ears. Another deep breath. I take out a new knife and look at the toast on the plate on the counter. The butter I put on previously has melted and has been replaced with even more blood.

“Great” I whisper to myself. I lean onto the counter, my hands resting on the edge. Gotta say, not a fan of mind tricks. Not when they’re coming from Becca, not when they are coming from my own brain. Slowly I push the plate away with one hand. This all must be the worst dream I ever had. It must be a dream, it hasn't rained that much in years. I straighten my pasture and walk back into the living room without the sandwich that was wished for. I quickly walk to a cabinet under the TV. As I open it reveals way too many snacks for two people. I take a sealed pack of potato chips and throw it to Becca. She easily catches it with her fucked up arm.

“Looks way better there,” Becca states. I don´t know what she is talking about. I close the cabinet while simultaneously following her gaze to the fireplace. Above the fireplace hangs the portrait of Becca. Not where I put it.

“I was gone for ten seconds,” I inform her, confused.

“More like ten minutes,” She adds as she puts a handful of chips in her mouth.

“How did you get up there?” I ask curiously.

“Magic.” She whispers with a smile on her face as a chip falls out of the bag. I sit down on the other end of the couch. The noises of her eating are driving me crazy. It’s all I can focus on. I take my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial a number I have dialed a hundred times before.

“Who are you calling?” Becca asks without taking a break from her chips.

“Sam,” I tell her, slightly annoyed. The phone keeps ringing.

“He probably won’t pick up,” I say with disappointment in my voice.

“Hello?” A voice on the other line.

“Sam?” I ask while standing up and feeling relieved.

“Hey sweetie, I´m on my way home. Will probably take an hour or so.”

“I’m just happy you picked up,” I assure, sounding like a 12-year-old.

“Oh honey, don´t worry I’m save, the storm isn’t that bad.” He insists calmly.

“Ok.”

“See you in an hour or so?” He doesn´t sound so calm anymore.

“Ok,” I repeat. Trying so seem confident.

“Can you say Hi for me?” Becca requests in the background interrupting the conversation. I quickly turn to her.

“Quiet” I whisper as I hold the phone a few inches away from my face.

“Is someone else there?” Dad asks. For a moment I’m quiet. Am I alone?

“Jenna?” I hear coming from the other line.

“No. No one is here, just me.” I lie. Calmness floating over my body from hearing him alive and well. Most importantly alive.

“Rude” whispers Becca then goes back to her chips. I give her an annoyed look which she doesn’t catch.

“One hour Jenna, ok?” He asks with an edge in his voice.

“Yeah, see you later,” I reply, tensing up again.

“Bye” He hangs up. I put the phone on the coffee table. I feel something light hit the back off my head. As I turn around, I notice the, now empty, chip pack laying on the ground close to my feet.

“Can we do something fun now?” My head snaps to Becca.

“I need you to leave,” I announce, anger bubbling up inside me.

“Don´t you want to know what I have been up too? In the afterlife,” She is smiling at me again. I sit down on the couch. I sigh.

“What have you been up to?”

“Doesn´t sound too excited.”

“I know you love talking so I´m gonna let you talk before I have to make...you disappear?”

“And how would you do that?”

“I’ll figure it out...you’re not real,” I whisper the last part.

“There is no afterlife by the way...or maybe there is if you want to call this....” She waves her hand around.

“...this the, oh so feared but sometimes desired, afterlife.”

“How does that make sense?”

“When you die you have to go-”

“-somewhere, I know, but...why are you here and why can I see you?” Becca gets quiet.

“Use your creativity and tell me.” I get up and pace around, the look on her face to sinister for her to be a friendly ghost but also to genuine to be a murderous demon.

“You also don’t know why you’re here,” I say.

“Should I?”

“No one else could know”

“Are you sure?” She asks. I stop pacing.

“How can you die a horrible death and still can’t think for yourself”

“I can think of myself.” Her confident demeanor is crumbling.

“If you could you wouldn´t be dead” I’m not sure where the sudden anger is coming from but I don’t like, it makes me sick to my stomach. I should not keep talking about this.

“Are you blaming me for my death?” She asks. Too late, oh no. Don’t act on anger. Don’t act on anger. Don’t act on anger.

“Yes, I am” Becca stands up. Oh boy. I walk backward until my back is touching the wall. Becca comes up to my face, way to close for my comfort. If she ever listened to me she would know how much I hate this. Blood seeks through the tape that is holding her arm together. She puts her messed up hand on my throat. Chills run down my spine. Her cold fingers tighten around my throat. Blood streams out of her nose. I gasp for air and put my clammy hands on her arm, trying to keep her from pushing harder. A straight slit appears on her face, from above her right eye down to her left cheek. It looks like it goes all around her head but seeing properly becomes for sure harder when all air is leaving your body. I grasp for the tape around her arm, barely touching it as my other hand tries to get her fingers off of my neck. Lightning strikes outside, Becca lets go of me and I fall to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I take in deep breaths as the realization of what happened becomes clear to me. Right in front of me, I see blood on the floor but no Becca. She tried to kill me. A wave of frustration, at the thought of having to deal with this ridiculous and horrifying situation, hits me and tears form in my eyes. No sad tears, angry tears. The only kind of tears I ever cry.

“Don’t be a party pooper.” I hear coming from the other side of the room.

“You need to leave. You are not real.” My voice is getting louder with every word. even though my throat is on fire.

“The blood on your hands isn’t real?” I look at my hands. They are covered in dried blood. My head gets cloudy again. I turn my hands into fists and I can feel the crusty blood on my skin.

“It’s not” I lie to myself and start walking in a steady pace towards the sink in the kitchen.

“Are you sure?” Becca asks as she leans onto the wall behind me. I turn on the facet and ice-cold water runs over my heavy hands, the coldness almost making me jump. I rub my hands together but the blood stays where it is. I rub harder making the parts of my hands, which aren’t covered in blood, turn pink from the friction.

“It’s not real?” Becca asks. I can hear the smirk on her lips and wish I could rip it off. I let out a breath before turning to face her.

“Real blood would come off wouldn’t it?” I explain, feeling out of breath.

“Well it did, didn't it?” She replies. A small laugh exists my mouth as I am convinced that she is wrong. I look at my hands and it seems like I´m not playing this game right because there is, in fact, no blood. Just two pink hands that are shaking slightly from the cold water or fear, not sure. I run to the door and it's locked. Where is the key? As I turn around, I see Becca suddenly laying on the floor behind me. An eerie feeling runs through my body.

“Becs?” I ask, slightly on edge. Her head is doing that thing again, the slit. This times it’s darker and it looks somehow creepier than it did the first time. I kneel down in front of her, trying to be brave right now.

“Becca, if you’re in pain you have to tell me,” I whisper trying to sound calm and failing miserably. Why do I feel bad again? After almost being strangled?

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in pain or not Jenna, I´m dead.” I stare at her for a short moment, not knowing how to respond. “Well maybe-”

“-it doesn’t matter Jenna it doesn’t.” She interrupts. The top part of her head slides down an inch and I feel a sudden urge to run to the toilet and puke my brains out.

“What is happening?” I ask trying to keep my insides inside.

“It sucks being the one that looks like this.” She says pointing to her head.

“Must suck to be you and look at it for so long...” Tears start to form in my eyes.

“Tell me if it hurts,” I plead as a tear runs down my face. Becca catches it with her right hand. Her head slides down even further. I start to worry it might fall off completely.

“Catch it,” Becca states in a monotone voice. Without any hesitation, I grab the part of her face that´s sliding down. I can feel her skin on my hand and it just feels so dead. Somehow I’m surprised by this. Another tear rolls down my cheek. Suddenly I don’t feel her hand on my cheek. I look down and her whole arm is laying on the floor next to us. A pulse starts echoing through my ears and I can’t tell if its mine. My arm starts to get weaker, her head seems to get heavier every second. Becca aggressively takes my hand from her head and the top part of her head slams onto the floor. I look down at it and can’t take it any longer. I get up and run to the closest bathroom and vomit into the toilet, almost missing.

“You better get used to it” I can hear her remark from the living room. I flush the toilet and slide down the bathroom wall as a shiver runs through my body.

“God help me” I whisper to myself.

“Trust me he won´t.” Becca is standing in the doorway with only half her head.

“He didn’t help me and I was a nicer person than you so…” She walks away again leaving me with goosebumps on my skin. A few minutes later I’m sitting on the big couch in the living room and Becca is standing in front of a window trying to bind her head together with tape while looking at her reflection.

“What about your arm?” I ask. Her arm is still laying on the ground.

“You can keep it if you want.” She states with a smile on her face. I don´t say anything to her response or her smile. Instead, I just look at the arm. With the way the fire is illuminating the room, this could easily be a serial killer's wet fantasy. I slide to the other end of the couch in one swift motion. One kick with my foot and the arm is under the couch.

“Rude.” Becca blurs out, startling me.

“I can’t look at it,” I mention honestly.

“Nobody said you had to.” She explains before walking over to me and grabbing the arm from under the couch.

“What do you think this is? A make-wish scenario?” She asks with a raised voice, swinging the arm in front of me.

“You don’t like looking at this? Well, bo-ho bitch.” She remarks before throwing the arm onto my lap.

“Can you not?” I ask with my arms slightly raised so I wouldn´t touch the arm. She answers by giving me a cold look.

“Becs?” My arms are still raised.

“Don’t call me that.” She reacts with sudden anger in her voice.

“Rebecca, can you please get your severed arm away from my lap,” I reply back, surprisingly confident, almost forgetting the situation I´m in. She slowly takes the arm from my lap before giving me a steer look.

“Are we being cocky?” She asks and in a split second the tension is back in my body. With a shaky voice, I say “I guess so-” I get interrupted by a slap across my face.

“Did you just slap me with that arm?” I ask shocked with my hand on my cheek.

“Act like a bitch get hit. What are you gonna do about it? Hit me back?”

“Maybe,” I warn as I stand up.

“Well, I’m waiting.” I take in a deep breath.

“You need to go.” And I let out a deep breath.

“Not until you said sorry”

“You came into my house and tried to kill me...and then you slapped me” She doesn’t answer.

“Across. my. face.” I say with a raised voice.

“It’s what you deserve.”

“Are you trying to make me feel responsible for what happened?”

“You are.” She spits back without hesitation. I´m getting impatient now. I take one step towards her which still leaves distance between us.

“Who do you think you are? What makes you think you can put your own goddam mistakes onto me. You-”

“- I'm not taking-”

“-don´t fucking interrupt me. You´ve been putting the shit you do onto me for so fucking long. Even before you died.”

“Why did we stay friends then?” She asks taking one step towards me. A bigger step than I did.

“Because I didn't know better. I didn’t know that friends aren’t supposed to make me feel horrible about myself, which you did.” My voice starts to shake.

“You tell me that after I died, how brave of you” I get in her face.

“I told you the night you went into that goddam truck and fucking killed yourself” “It was an accident”

“No, it was your fault…. only your fault. I told you not to go but you didn’t listen. You never listen, you never have. Why would you?”

“I hate you” She shouts but I don’t believe her.

“Makes two of us” My voice cracks. Lightning strikes again.

“Are you gonna tell your mom that you dropped out of college?” Her smile is on her face again. She thinks she is in charge.

“Don´t change the subject.”

“Don´t you want to know where I got the info from?” “.... no.” I can feel a headache coming on. A moment of silence. I try to compose myself but that obviously doesn’t work. Lighting strikes again.

“You’re gonna make your mom cry, again”

“Whatever,” I say without thinking about it.

“Yeah...whatever.”

“You’re gonna leave.” I declare with determination.

“I don’t think you get to decide that” I walk past her and to the TV.

“Hey bitch” She appears next to me. “Always running away from your problems.” My blood is boiling. I don’t say anything to that and walk past her again. She thankfully doesn’t stop me. Probably thinks I can’t harm her anyway. I don’t have to look at her to know that she has a grin on her face. I take one of the cables of the TV. “What are you doing?” She asks. The sound of footsteps coming closer fills my ears. I turn around and put the cable around her neck. “You’re not real” I spit in her face.

“Then what am I?” She asks with difficulty. Now it's her turn to grab at my hands and get me to stop strangling her but the alive ones are stronger than the dead.

“You can’t kill what is already dead.” She falls to the ground and I get on top of her. A smile on her face makes me want to punch her. I let go of the cable and punch her face, letting out the anger and feelings that have been inside of me since the day this bitch thought it would be a good idea to drive drunk. Her head slices open into two pieces again and I stop. I feel like puking as she grabs my hand. I get off of her and walk to the painting. I have to jump a few times to get it down but I´m not trying to be careful anymore. I take it off the wall and walk back to Becca on the ground. I push the painting onto her face.

“Get back in there. Go back where you came from.”

“You know where I came from.” I hear her mumble. I punch her with the painting. Tears fall down my face. Leave me alone.

“Stop hurting me. All you ever do is hurt me.” I start bawling. The painting falls out of my hand and I let myself fall to the ground in front of Becca. Becca sits up with the top half of her head missing and the rest covered in blood. I can’t look at her. If someone would have told me that I would end up in a situation where I could not even look at my ex-best friend, without feeling not just absolute disgust but also paralyzing fear, I wouldn't have believed them.

“Are we even now?” Becca asks as blood gushes out of the rest of her head. I look away, still feeling like I can’t move a muscle.

“Look at me, Jenna.” She demands, barely audible. Instead, I look down. In front of her is an ocean of blood. So much blood. I take a look at my hands, mentally preparing for a layer of blood. There is no blood at all. My hands are clean and my heartbeat becomes evener. I look up and instead of seeing a traumatizing murder scene I see Becca. Her whole body leaned back onto the couch, lifeless. The part of her head that was missing is back in its place. Any little space covered in blood on her body is now covered in dark dried blood. Her skin is paler than before. I lean forward and touch her arm with my left hand. Feels somehow more dead than before. I touch her face with my right hand, going over the slit that now looks more like a scar. What have I done, a horrendous smell fills my nose and I have to let go of her arm to put my hand onto my face. The smell of death. I let go of her completely and sit down next to this cold corpse. I killed her. I hug my legs and let the tears fall.

“I killed her” I look to my left at the painting on the floor before I bury my face in my hands. My eyes are burning and sobs escape my mouth.

“Fuck,” I say to myself. “Fuck,” I say again, this time louder. I allow myself to drown in these feelings that are hard to pinpoint. I feel warm arms around me. Without looking up I let myself fall into them as I keep crying like a baby that didn’t get the Ice cream flavor it wanted. I open my eyes and I see hands with fingernails painted red. Mom.

“I killed her, mom.” The arms around me hug me tighter and I feel another hand on my back, caressing me like you would a little child, not a grown up. Dad.

“Everything is ok.” I can hear above me. Everything is ok.

“Just breathe.” I hear from my side. Just breath. I turn my head and there is no Becca. No severed arm. No blood. Instead my dad is smiling at me, obviously to try to calm me down. Dad turns to Mom.

“There is something we should talk about.”

“About Leila dropping out of college?” Mom asks.

“Not just that.” He says.

#short storie #gore #horror #writing #writer #story #blood

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