#oh my god its been forever since Ive used this blog I cant remember my tagging system

[aprilohneil]

Hey there! Hope you’re well.

I saw your post about Donnie’s soft shell and how it’s not canonically portrayed as a disability and you mentioned smth about shell trauma and how in the IDW comics Donnie gets rly badly injured?

I was wondering if you had that comic panel cuz I’m very curious about it. No worries if not! :P

from #44!

idk what issues these panels are from but also these

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[cometogethcr]

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @eatingthem ( thank you brother )

i’m tagging @indignaticn @mirrcrspeaks @pepperpxtts @smartvulpix and anyone else who wants to do it !!

FIRST NAME jason but i don’t mind jayjay, or jace either. just don’t call me jay i don’t know what it is but i hate being called jay for whatever reason

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh i’ve technically died twice? (and almost died a third time) once when i was two after getting really really sick from something that they still don’t know lmao, and once when i was nine on the day we came back from a holiday also from getting really really sick aaaaand the almost died time being in my first year of uni when i overdosed on ecstacy 

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hands, legs, and probably eyes

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF sushi !! especially from my sister and i’s fav sushi place. i know theyre super american but i could eat Philadelphia rolls until the day i die and never ever get tired of them

A FOOD YOU HATE BELL PEPPERS!!

GUILTY PLEASURE super fucked up extreme cinema... i’ve watched salo 3 times lmfao 

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN usually t shirt and boxers, unless its FREEZING (i live in a basement) then i wear a hoodie and boxers

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships, although im very very happy being single right now lmfao

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE uuuuuuuhhhhh probably go back to the time when i had initially dropped out of theatre school and just stayed and finished my final year so i didn’t go back the year later and eventually meet my “”ex”” (if you could even call him that) kjjdjskjsdf thats trauma baby!!!

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON sometimes! more so verbally than anything else, i’m not much of a touchy person, i like hugs but i don’t really like cuddling or anything like that

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN oh man theres so many!! reservoir dogs, a clockwork orange, full metal jacket, salo kjdjdkfjkf

FAVORITE BOOK oh man, filth by irvine welsh, flowers for algernon by daniel keyes, animal farm by george orwell 

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE A PIGGIE!!!!!!! or a sloth or a goat

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] UUUH mister pink/mister brown - reservoir dogs ????? god i don’t know lmao

PIE OR CAKE CAKE!!!!!!!!!! CHEESECAKE!!!!!!!

FAVORITE SCENT whatever scent my candle that i have is that i ripped the label off and can no longer remember what it is

CELEBRITY CRUSH LEE PACE!!!! GOD i am just so mesmerized but his work?? and he’s someone i look up to so much as an actor myself, plus his smile is so GENUINE!! and he’s done so much for the environment and for the queer community sdjksdkjsjsdjks i love him so much. i wish i could have seen him in angels in america on broadway back in 2018 fuck. 

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I really want to visit every province that i haven’t been to yet before I die. (I live in Ontario and I’ve only been to Quebec & Manitoba so I have a bit to go lol) especially the northern territories and the eastern provinces (I really hope to work at neptune theatre in nova scotia one day), aaaand my best friend sammi and i were supposed to go to mexico this year but ..... yeah. AND ALSO I’D LIKE TO GO TO UTAH TO SEE @eatingthem <3

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT a little bit of both?? it really depends on the situation, im definitely more of an extrovert once you get to know me, honestly.  

DO YOU SCARE EASILY depends on the situation, i get nervous about confrontation sometimes... real life things tend to scare me the most. my two biggest fears are cults and pandemics.. ..... . . . . . so you know how i’ve been feeling lately 

IPHONE OR ANDROID i’ve been using iphones since i was 14 (so almost 10 years) and even though realistically i know that androids are better i probably will never ever switch over lmfao 

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES i play the sims 4 (i have almost all the expansion packs and what not) i play GTAV sometimes but my xbox is super old and sometimes the game disc thingy doesn’t want to open. i play some indie games on steam also, all the roller coaster tycoons, emily is away 1 & 2, dream daddy. 

DREAM JOB  I’ve done quite a bit of work in my field (theatre) since graduating, and its really surreal. i’ve wanted to do theatre since i was 13 and actually starting to work and get paid for doing what i love was insane !! and i had quite a bit of new work lined up before this outbreak happened. i would like to do more jobs on the tech side and costume side of the theatre because all ive really done so far is acting, directing and playwrighting, and i hope to get back into everything soon... it’s been rough. 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS get an apartment with my best friend and probably save the rest, and invest in finally opening my queer shakespeare theatre company that ive wanted to for a while now.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE oh my god? uuuuhhhhhhh, jeez thats hard. i honestly can’t think of anyone off the top of my head jksdsjkdfjksdfsjdkf

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER i used to write mister pink (reservoir dogs), quicksilver (xmen), jd (heathers), trevor (gta), iago (shakespeare), oliver (call me by your name), lito (sense 8) ...... uh, i cant remember who else off the top of my head? a lot of those fandoms i’m still apart of, i just dont write in anymore

[mirrcrspeaks]

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by @cometogethcr

i’m tagging you !!

FIRST NAME jen!!

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF my mouth is smol so i have one (1) vampire tooth it’s pretty sick

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hair, eyes, legs

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF cheezits...........

A FOOD YOU HATE sunflower seeds

GUILTY PLEASURE ice cream at midnight

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN t-shirt and pajama pants but sometimes.....sometimes i take the pants off at night

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships!!

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE probably would’ve told myself to fucking suck it up and just get my license already lmao

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON i think so yeah!!  at the moment i do a lot verbal affection but i’m open to cuddling when i don’t feel gross

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN murder on the orient express, the adventures of tintin (i have in fact watched that movie many times)

FAVORITE BOOK anything by agatha christie, dread journey by dorothy b hughes is also pretty good

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE chinchilla or baby goat

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] fish/harmony, riley/emmett, chef/clarisse, riley/quinn, abigail/haley

PIE OR CAKE mmmmmmmm yes

FAVORITE SCENT vanilla cinnamon yum

CELEBRITY CRUSH ellen page

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO i would like to go to ohio............for reasons

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT i used to think i was an introvert but i’m proving to be more extroverted?  i just show it different (i.e. online)

DO YOU SCARE EASILY oh yeah i freak out a lot

IPHONE OR ANDROID iphone my family is an apple family

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES animal crossing baby!!  and stardew

DREAM JOB i’d love to write some books some day, or publish them, or be a librarian

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS save a lot, get an apartment with the gf, get a pibble

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE joker, harley quinn deserves to be w plant wife

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER uhhhhhhhhh i used to be a weeb and now i’m less?

[georgialouisea]

Meant To Be - Part 9

Pairing - Jared x Reader, Jensen x Sister Reader. Word count -1079 Warnings - Fluff, swearing.

Part 8 - Masterlist

Life in Vancouver was amazing, life with Jared was beyond amazing.

Ever since you were little you’d hated being the one singled out, you hated being the new girl, moving school or getting a new job was your idea of hell. The girls at supernatural made you feel at home, they were honestly the nicest girls you’d ever met, they didn’t seem to care that your brother was one of the stars of the show.

“Did you manage to get that email out?” Jo asked shutting off her computer.

“Shit no, completely forgot.”

“Want me to stay and help?” She paused at your desk on the way out.

“No, it’s fine, I have the details written down somewhere, get home to your boyfriend.”

“Don’t you have to get home to yours?” She perched on the corner of your desk smirking down at you. You’d only ever given her and Lizzie small details and they were more than intrigued.

“He’s working late today, so I’m fine, go home and enjoy your date night.”

“You sure?”

“Positive Jo, go enjoy your weekend I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Enjoy your weekend Y/N.”

“You too JO.” Watching her leave the room your attention turned back to your screen.

“Y/N/N?” Jared whispered from the doorway behind you. “You ready to go home?”

Turning to face him your eyes adjusted to the lighting change. “What?”

“You done?”

“Give me like five minutes.” Turning back to the screen you finished up the email you should’ve sent 6 hours ago, trying to ignore Jared spinning himself around in a chair behind you. “Okay done.” Shutting down your computer you could finally head home with Jared.

--

“Baby?” Jared mumbled as he shifted on the couch.

“Yeah?” Looking up at him he paled slightly.

He sat up straighter. “Okay, I haven’t told you this yet but on Thursday I’m gonna be on Ellen.”

“Jare that’s amazing.”

“You might not think that in a few minutes.”

“Why?”

“You love me right?” He paused, nodding in response he smiled at you. “I want to tell everyone I am in love with the most beautiful, amazing, smartest, funniest woman I know, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you.”

Nodding you smiled up at him. “Okay, yeah, we’ll go official.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m one million percent sure Padalecki.”

“Oh thank God.” His head dropped. “I thought you’d say no.”

“Why? When I love you.”

“I didn’t think you’d want people to know yet.”

“Jare, I’m tired of sneaking around trying to hide our relationship, let’s just tell everyone.”

“You’re sure?”

“So sure.” His arms wrapped around you.

“You’re happy with me announcing it on the Ellen show?”

“Yeah, I am, you have an interview and if you really want to talk about me it’s up to you.”

“I would talk about you every second of every day if I could.”

-

Jared’s flight back to LA was delayed due to bad weather, he’d planned to be home hours before his interview was aired. A knock at the door pulled your attention from the cereal advert, praying by some miracle it was Jared, opening the door Jensen stood in front of you.

“Why’re you here?”

“Because.” He took a step into your apartment closing the door behind himself. “I know what you’re like and as soon as people know you’re going to panic and Jared’s still in the air, so I’m here and we’re gonna watch it together.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the couch.

“Mr Jared Padalecki!” Ellen introduced as the audience clapped and cheered.

Biting your lip you tried to suppress the smile as he waved at the audience.

“How are you?” Ellen asked as she sat opposite him.

“I’m great, how are you?”

Ellen nodded with a smile. “I’m good, you’re living up in Vancouver now aren’t you?”

“Yeah I am, it’s a lot colder up there than it is here in LA.”

“You’re up there filming for the new show Supernatural right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I am.”

“So tell us what the show’s about.”

You watched Jared explain the premise of the show adding in little stories of his time on set with Jensen.

“Do you two get on well?”

“Yeah, we do, we’re both from Texas, we watch the same shows, listen to the same music, it’s been easy to get to know him.

“So it’s not uncomfortable playing his brother?”

“Nope, he already is like a brother to me.”

“That’s good to hear, now I have to ask, you’re a very attractive young man.” The audience whooped. “Alright.” She waved a hand trying to calm the women down as Jared chuckled. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Jared blushed, his head dropped trying to hide it. “I am actually, we’ve been together for nearly a year now, she’s amazing.”

“Will we know who she is? A fellow actor?”

“No actually she’s not an actress, she works on set behind the scene in the admin department, she’s so smart half the stuff she does I’d have no idea how to do.”

“Is she watching?”

“Yeah, she’ll be watching with Jensen.”

“Oh have they become close too?” She asked with a furrowed brow.

“No, well they’ve always been close, Y/N is Jensen’s sister.”

“Oh wow, is he okay with you dating his sister?”

“Yeah, I mean he’s said if I hurt her he’ll rip my lungs out.”

Ellen chuckled moving on with the interview.

“That wasn’t painful was it?” Jensen smiled down at you. “You okay?”

“Yeah everyone knows, everyone loves you on set this isn’t going to change anyone's opinion of you trust me.”

“I know.”

The front door opened behind you. “Hey.” Jared walked in dropping his bag by the door. “Have you seen it yet?”

“Yeah, we have.”

He walked around the couch to face you. “And are we still together?”

“Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?” Looking up at him you punched Jensen’s thigh making him move up the couch so Jared could sit next to you.

“I haven’t seen it yet, I can’t remember what I said, I could’ve said something stupid.”

“Everything you said was perfect.”

Jared’s arm wrapped around you. “Good.” He took a shaky breath. “Good.”

“Were you actually worried that I’d leave you?”

“No.” He scoffed.

“There’s only one issue now.” Jensen sighed.

“Which is?”

“When Jared’s found with his lungs ripped out they’ll know I’ve done it.”

Part 10

Forever Taglist - 

@mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivaj @roxyspearing @emoryhemsworth @dwgrl1903 @cassieraider @mirandaaustin93 @mogaruke @heyitscam99 @mouselovesmusic @supernaturaldean67 @atc74 @witchofenoch @malindacath @skathan-omaha @ain-t-bovvered @beffyblueeyes @unicorn-sparkles123 @serienjunkiegirl @jchona @polina-93 @thefangirlliveson @rhochradel @juanitadiann @amandamdiehl @dixonsunicorn @deanzeppeloin @katieelementarymydearwatsonme @atlas-of-the-world @spnbaby-67 @chelsea072498 @dean-winchesters-bacon @racheo91 @mrswhozeewhatsis @death-unbecomes-you @brewsthespirit-blog @shann-the-artist-moon @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @claitynroberts @spnwoman @angelsandwinchesters @smoothdogsgirl @cdwmtjb8 @perkypolarbear @thisismysecrethappyplace @tatertot1097 @jessieray98 @curly-haired-disaster @gh0stgurl @starfirerules @kcrews74 @calaofnoldor @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @screechingartisancashbailiff @malindacath @kolelondon24 @natura1phenomenon @thehufflepuffblog @lemondropirwin @babypink224221 @mariekoukie6661 @mymysosa @blackcherrywhiskey @lonely-skys @titty-teetee @foreverwayward @81mysteriouslyme @x-waywardaf-x  @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog @paintballkid711

Meant to be -

@gh0stgurl @witch-of-letters @oneshoeshort @samuelwillliamwinchester @love-nakamura @spn-obession @holylulusworld @wayward-gypsy @heythereamigodude @rainbowkisses31 @deangirl7695 @traceyaudette @winchesterprincessbride @vickiq9761 @cdwmtjb8 @samsgirl93 @love-my-not-natural-babies @gloriousartisanfancreator @me-han10 @pretty-fortune @jamielea81 @the-is13 @kit-kat-katie99 @imaginationisgrowth @bitchwhytho @deansgirl79

[cheekymochiiii]

100 Year’s Quest Chapter 18-20 Tea Time

*camera pans to me sleeping on loveseat only to be woken up by my producer throwing a mug at my face*

Me: Mother*beep*! damn it Craig you *beep*! throw that at my mother *beep* face again and I’ll cut your *beep* off and shove it up your—

*screen displays message that says: please stand by*

*screen returns and shows me sitting with my cup of tea cool as a cucmber*

Me: *clears throat* Sorry about that. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately and as a result I’ve been *says through gritted teeth while glaring at Craig* very irritable.*relaxes* I realize I haven’t aired any shows since Chapter 17, but if you haven’t read the new chapter of Fairy Tail’s 100 Year Quest then that is your fault and I’m not bothering to put a spoiler warning right now. Despite my doubts to having a guest on today’s tea time, production—I mean I thought it would be best to have one anyway. Today we’ve got someone who is on Team Natsu and has had a front row seat to all the exciting *beep* that’s been happening in chapters 18-20.

Me: *gesutres to side of stage* Please audience give a warm welcome to the little braveheart Wendy Marvell!

Wendy: *walks in waving with her cute smile* Hi everyone it’s good to see you all!

Me: *admiring her adorable innocence and then remembers I have a show to shoot * Thank you so much for coming on the show Wendy it means the world to me.

Wendy: Well I heard from Panther Lily and Carla that you’re really...*hesitates to find right word* passionate.

Me: Awe that is a very accurate word to describe me, especially considering I’m a Pisces but sometimes I’m an Aquarius. It depends which website you read but for the most part I identify myself as a Pisces more than an Aquarius.

Wendy: *confused* you don’t look like two fish to me or like the terrifying Aquarius I know.

Me: *laughs at her innocence* actually Wendy here in my world our zodiac signs are given to us based on the month and day we are born in. Each zodiac is given a season in the year.

Wendy: then what happens?

Me: absolutely nothing. zodiacs are basically there just to make excuses for ourselves and how we act.

Wendy: so it’s like...alcohol?

Me: *considers this and shrugs* I mean you’re not wrong. Anyway we’re getting way off topic. Let’s focus back on what’s been happening in your world or at least in chapters 18-20. Most of these chapters were pretty *beep* short so there’s that but I’ll take whatever dose of Fairy Tail I can get.

*production tells me in my ear piece I need to stop cursing due to Tumblr restrictions and reminds me I could get flagged for being inappropriate again*

Me: *states outloud* that’s what the beeps are for you mother *beeps*

*production slaps forehead*

Me: Sorry for that interruption Wendy. My producers are being a bunch of *beep*

Wendy: *stunned at language*

Me: *continues casually* I’m not going to focus too much on Chapter 18 because I’ve already briefly talked about it in my last show. I want to give a simple summary of it. For starters I want to talk about you Wendy and what a bad *beep* you were for being able to find a spell that allowed the non-dragon slayers of Team Natsu to actually do some harm to the dragons y’all will be fighting. Naturally, I’m curious about how obtained this spell but I’m assuming you nor the creators will be willing to share that information with me.

Wendy: *genuine tone* I’m really sorry but I can’t share that.

Me: Coming from you, I’m okay with it. So Team Natsu is officially in the battle with the Water God Dragon and boy are y’all struggling. He’s just really letting y’all have it with his magic and this is still only the first dragon y’all have to defeat for this quest.

Wendy: This Quest will definitely be the hardest one I’ve ever had to do.

Me: You guys have been through so much you barely got a breather.

Wendy: I like the adventures with my friends though. It makes my life more full.

Me: Awe

Audience: Awe

Readers: Awe

Me: You are so precious Wendy and you need to be protected at all times. I’m getting off topic again. Chapter 18. Team Natsu. Battle with Water God Dragon. *stops short statements* I mean, that’s basically it. *remmebers* oh yeah Touka defeated all of your guild mates back in Magnolia.

Wendy: I know I was worried about them too. I still am since you guys haven’t figured out what happens.

Me: *waves and says nonchalantly* I’m sure by the next chapter we will. *wonders internally have I been spelling Touka’s name wrong this whole time?*

Wendy: What makes your so sure?

Me: We’ve been focused a lot on Team Natsu these last few chapters, so I’m going to assume with the screaming-into-pillow ending the creators gave us. The scenery will most likely change come next chapter. Anyway, now it’s Chapter 19 and we are still worried about the favorite team in the world, Team Natsu. Y’all are putting up a good fight but it’s not doing much good. In fact, Natsu tries very hard with all kinds of new and secret spells he’s been holding back from us to defeat the Water God Dragon. However, it nearly becomes too much for our favorite pink haired weirdo hero and he begins to be sucked up into a deadly looking whirlpool created by the Water God Dragon.

Wendy: *nods at the memory* I remember. We were all worried about what was going to happen to Natsu.

Me: *sideglances* even Lucy?

Wendy: *doesnt get what I’m hinting at* yes of course she’s always worried about Natsu on missions and if he might get hurt. Natsu too. They both want to protect each other.

Me: *grinning* most interesting *sips tea* Natsu nearly gets sucked into the whirlpool when ta-dah! *makes spirit fingers* a scaley hand snatched Natsu from it. I had a strong feeling from that ending that the hand was extremely reminiscent of a certain dragon we all love...loved.

Wendy: *nods solemnly* Natsu’s father Igneel. All of us lost our parents that day too unfortunately but not in the same way Natsu lost his tragically.

Me: *trying not to cry* I hear that *sniffles* so that’s how we are left in Chapter 19 those bastard creators. *pauses* hey why wasn’t that bleeped?

*production informs me that bastard isn’t that bad of a word compared to the ones I had been using and reminds audience that this show is for mature audiences only despite the bleeped out words because beeping everything is a struggle for the editing team*

Me: okay now it’s on to the most recent update, Chapter 20. We find out that scaley hand that rescued Natsu is indeed a dragon! We, being the readers, also notice how incredibly and unmistakingly similar this dragon and Igneel look.

Wendy: We were all honestly terrified when this dragon revealed himself. We didn’t know whether he was there to help or hurt us.

Me: Understandable I mean look at that thing. However we find out he’s mostly there to motivate Natsu to defeat the Water God Dragon and ultimately decides the best way to help Natsu is to set the fish city on fire using its own fire. While this seemed discouraging the dragon wants Natsu to consume the fire so it will help him defeat the Water God Dragon. The dragon also says he wants to fight Natsu at his best himself. So why does this mysterious Igneel-looking dragon want to help Natsu and also fight and defeat Natsu? Well that’s what the big reveal of this chapter was.

Me: *takes dramatic pause*

Wendy: *smiles knowingly*

Audience: *holds breath*

Readers: *yawns*

Me: *SHOUTS* ITS IGNEEL’S MOTHER *BEEP* SON YALL. *STANDS UP CAUSING TEA TO SPILL* HIS “TRUE” SON. AND BOIIIIII I’D BE LYIN IF I SAID THAT BOI AINT FINE BECAUSE HE IS ONE GOOD LOOKIN DUDE. I MEAN DO YALL SEE THOSE TATTOOS?!? ALSO WHAT THE *BEEP* DOES THIS MEAN? HES A FIRE GOD DRAGON! HO-LY HELL

Wendy: *nervously sips her tea and realizes why Panther Lily and Carla called Me intense*

Me: *still raging* I JUST CANT BELIEVE IT! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND IVE GOT A FEELING ITS GONNA BE GOOD *relaxes and sits back down* Just wow Wendy I cant wait for what this Quest has in store for us because we are only 20 chapters in and it’s been ridiculous.

Wendy: *still smiling* I know it’s an exciting quest and adventure that truly tests the feelings, will, and strength of our team.

Me: *tearing up* I can only imagine. I can’t wait to get to the end of this long and winding road but I also want it to last forever because I don’t want Fairy Tail to end.

Wendy: *stunned* what do you mean, end?

Me: *saddened* we originally weren’t going to find out what happened to y’all on the 100 Year’s Quest but then, thanks to this super cool and awesome fandom, we were able to push the creators to continue the manga.

Wendy: Wow we really owe a lot to our fandom then

Me: *nods respectingly* yes yes we do. I know I owe a lot to my followers here on the blog, er, show.

Wendy: Why’s that?

Me: Apparently 500 people like my blog, I mean show, enough to follow me for every time I post something new. *begins meaningful speech* I couldn’t be more happy or thankful for every single one of them. I never imagined I would have this many followers because I started with 0 followers and had no connections or friends on here who already had followers and give shout outs to me, right away of course, but now people seem to like what I post and I literally couldn’t be more thankful for them. I post for them.

Wendy: *tearful* that was a really lovely speech.

Me: thanks Wendy. I suppose I should make an edit dedicated to all of them.

Wendy: that’s a nice gift and very kind of you.

Me: no *shakes head and looks off into the distance* how kind of them.

To be continued...

[franeridart]

i miss your haikyuu art so much it was the best - dont get me wrong i fucking adore your bnha art but like,,,,, haikyuu,,,,,,,

Well pal, aren’t you lucky, you might have been missing from my blog in the past two weeks but if you scroll down just three posts you might notice I’ve been drawing haikyuu again (x x x)

Anon said:People don’t remember baccano anymore? :o

I assumed so since it’s been ten years since it aired and the fandom has always been small and quiet anyway, but it looks like I assumed wrong!!!! That made me so happy, honestly? Baccano’s my fav anime ever, it’s always super nice to see it appreciated!

Anon said:I’M HAPPY YOU LIKE BACCANO! NOBODY KNOWS IT

Anon said:Omg thanks for the baccano au I love it.

Anon said: BACCANO!! I love you so much right now!!!

Anon said: YOU DID A BACCANO CROSSOVER!! IVE NEVER SEEN ONE DUDE MAJOR PROPS TO YOU!!!! I literally love that series, it was one of my first ones so seeing it mixed with one of my current favourites is surreal!!

Anon said: DID YOU JUT DO A BACCANO AU OMG ITA BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE WATCHED THAT IT WAS MY FAVE 😭😭😭😭😭 i cried so much during it all the time it was so badass

This is exactly what I was talking about!!! So HAPPY all of you love that anime as much as I do! And thank you SO MUCH for liking the crossover!!!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Fran, just out of curiosity, what colors do you associate with Bakugou/Kirishima/the rest of the squad?

The ones I use to write their dialogues! Orange for Bakugou, red for Kirishima, gold for Sero, yellow for Kaminari and pink for Ashido! :D

Anon said: tumblr has been a butt and not notified me of your post but i saw your nishinoya and i died i love the way you draw him and boiiiiii bokuto and kuroo be looking smokin and your kiribaku (is that right??? im a failure i cant remember!!!:( ) is amazing SO MUCH FLUFF i die of happiness. keep up the lovely work 💕👌👌👌

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love your art its so amazing.

Thank youuu ;u;

Anon said:I was just wondering if I could use one of your drawings of Kuroo as a phone background (just for personal use! It’s fine if you don’t want me too! I’m a huge fan and I hope you’re having a nice day~)

Sure! As long as it’s just for personal use I don’t mind at all!!

Anon said:Oh wow, thanks for the tutorial! I think it will be really helpful!

I’m glad to hear that!!!! :D

Anon said: what is the jock / nerd thing?

At this point it’s mostly a meme, I’d say haha

Anon said:ASDFGHJKL *-* Your art is to beautiful for the world

That’s!!!! Too kind of you oh man (〃´ﾉω`〃)

Anon said:Your kiri is so pretty.

THANK YOU!! Every Kiri is super pretty tho, it’s the intrinsic Kirishima-ness of the Kiris that makes them beautiful whatever style they’re drawn in! :O

Anon said:YOUR ZORA ITS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM AS MUCH AS YOU DO AND WHEN I SAW YOU DRAW HIM I WAS LIKE: a m a z i n g 💕💕💕

OH MAN THANK YOU I love that disaster of a trickster so much I’m glad I could make him come out okay ;O;

Anon said:so i left tumblr a while ago?? but i check back every so often bc ur pretty much my favorite tumblr artist ever

Aw man thank you so so so much this means the world to me! ;u; sometimes it’s hard for me to see any improvement in my own art so knowing that you can see it helps a lot!

Anon said:your art is literally my favourite thing in the entire world i love it all! i hope you’re having a good day and taking care of yourself! x

GOSH THANK U I hope you’re having the best day too, anon!!!!

Anon said:Asahi is so pretty when you draw him, I love it; my gentle son, in your amazing art style.

I’M!!!!!! Glad you liked him!!!!!!! That boy is 100% out of my comfort zone so knowing he came out okay is super nice!!!!! :D 

Anon said:The way I drew the bakusquad in that one set of images … They’re like … On the cover of Vogue or something. It’s aesthetically good to my eyes man. Also you kinda got me into tetsukami?? I don’t understand it at all but now im into it BC of ur fanart and bc of other fanart but Imma blame u and im grateful to have another ship to hyperfixate over. Anyway I love youu and your art man, i wish u many good days

Oh man I love you too anon this ask made me so happy???? And I’m especially happy I could get you into tetsukami! It doesn’t make much sense as a ship, does it? But they’d be fun interacting and their quirks work well together, so I have fun thinking about them! I hope they’ll interact in the classes 1a and 1b will have to share in the future! :D

Anon said:Oh I love your Noya’s, so glad you drew my boy again!:)

Thank you for liking him!!!!!! He’s hard to draw but I love him and he makes me happy!!! What a boy!!!

Anon said:Have you seen little noya in the newest chapter

I HAVE little boyo already had his blond hair how cute is that! The newest chapter made me really warm inside I really loved the whole speech Noya made ;u; my inspiring little lightning bolt !!

Anon said:I really really love your bnha art! But put some highlights on the kirabakus one, you probably have the quirk to melt my heart with them ;w;

That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever read!!!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Who do you think would propose? Bakugo or Kirishima???

I actually answered a similar question a while ago! But I can’t find it so I guess to sum it up I mostly think at some point it’d just become something both of them have talked about throught the years enough times that by then it’ll just be something they are gonna do, sooner or later, and when it’ll happen it’ll be more like “we have a stable income and a house and a dog and a cat and are p much already married we should really do this already” - in a scenario like that either of the two works, for me haha

Anon said:the best thing was that I just a moment before u posted I felt bad and pissed ad sad, but then all that disappeared ;V;

I’m!!!!! So happy to know I could help you like that!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Can I just say, I’ve been following your art a long time (I’ve always loved it!) and I’ve really noticed a lot of growth and improvement in your style? The thing that always impresses me most is how you are able to take simplified facial features and make them SO expressive. You convey emotions so well and I love it so much. Thanks for always giving us art to smile about! Hope you are having a lovely day!

THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G OD!!!! I’m!!!!! crying!!!! probably!!!!!!! FrICK!!!! ;A;

Anon said:KINONOYA!!!!!!

INDEED!!!!! What a good relationship they have!!!!!

Anon said:You draw Sero so good oml he’s too pretty

Anon said:THAT SERO YOU DREW!!! *clutches heart* n i c e !!!!

;O; I’m glad you like him?????? gods!!!!

Anon said:I love the way you draw Kaminari, he looks beautiful in your art style! ^^

SOB you guys are all so nice to me I’m gonna cry for real here ;U; thank you!!!

Anon said:Whenever I’m sad I look at your art and everything feels better.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy I can help you with your mood!!!!!!!

Anon said:When you Kiri with his hair down, I’m always like “that’s it, that’s the cutest Kiri ever” and then you draw him with it spiked and I’m like “no wait, there it is, the cutest Kiri.” And now you go and give me both Kiri’s in that adorable pair of sketches and how is that even fair because how am I supposed to handle that? I can’t even decide anymore. All your kiris are the cutest Kiri.

THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! All Kiris are the cutest Kiris tho, aren’t they? What an inherently cute boy he is!!!

Anon said:i showed my friend your art and since we both find it super good, we both decided to try to draw more regularly because we want get better and get a smooth(? idk how to say it in english lmao) style like yours so thank you for the motivation/inspiration!!

:O !!!!!! I hope you and your friend will have fun while at it, anon!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love your bakushima

AND I LOVE YOU

Anon said:drawing ppl from above is so cool though!! i really like these kinda pics ✨ (esp bo and tetsu, so /cool/!!) dont give up, fran❤

Please don’t enable me anon, if you give me the green light I’m gonna keep on drawing that sorta angle forever hahahaha (thank u so much for the compliment, tho!!!!)

Anon said: ahhh i love your recent kiribaku drawings! they are so cool!!

That was about the red and teal ones, right? Thank you so much!!!! Working with colors like that isn’t something I do often, so I’m really really happy that you guys ended up liking them!!!

Anon said: Row! Row! Fight the power!!

I don’t know what brought this on but HECK YES

Anon said:Man I love all your art, fanart and OCs alike! And your BNHA is such an inspiration and one of the reasons I started writing fic. Have a great day!

OH BOY that’s such a nice thing to know!! I hope you’re having lotsa fun writing fics, anon!! And I also hope you’re having a great day, too!!!

Anon said:OK, i’m sorry for sounding this emotional, but OMG your art makes me cry. it’s just… so beautiful… *there i go again* *crying*

*hands u tissue* thank you so much but please don’t cry!!!!

Anon said:I’M CRYING LUCA’S BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY BEFORE MINE, I’M A PHYSICS MAJOR, A MAJOR DOG (and cat) PERSON, AS WELL AS A MORNING PERSON LIKE WH A T

You’re the second person that tells me they’re really similar to one of my ocs!!!! I wonder what that means? :O but it’s a fun thing to know, anyway!!! :D I hope you don’t mind Luca being so similar to you, anon haha

Anon said: What do you think would happen if eraserhead erased fatgum’s quirk?

He’d probably just lose his ability to absorb hits and then re-use their power? :? but if he’s fat he’s gonna stay fat and if he’s slim he’s gonna stay slim, I think :O

Anon said:Oh my god you know kekkai sensen I’m actually crying I love kekkai sensen but no one I know likes it/knows about it and aaaaaaa I love your art and you drew something from kekkai sensen and thats amazing!!!!

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT and I know right? Kkss has such a small fandom! Which to me is super weird considering how much following Trigun used to have? :O it’s definitely one of the best anime I’ve seen in recent times, tho!!!

Anon said:FRAAAANNNNNNNN!!!! I’m soo excited!! I might be getting a tote from your shop for Christmas! My friend asked what I wanted, so I looked at your store, and chose a tote with Mina, and Hagakure (?) And he told me to send him the link!

HOLY SMOKES THANK YOU FOR BUYING MY STUFF ANON THIS SERIOUSLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!!

Anon said: Your art is so good! I especially love your black and white stuff! Its really punchy! Also all your Kiribaku content makes my heart melt!!!!!!

*gross sobbing* thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:would it be okay…if i drew luca (giving credit to you tho obv) i just love him so much GOD

YES!!!!!! Please do link me to it if you do draw him, I wanna see!!!!! :D

Anon said:Hey! I really liked your OCs and i was especially intrigued by Max and Leo!! Do you mind telling us more about their relationship? They look so sweet!!! Love ya and keep being awesome!

Thank you so much for liking my kids!!!! ;O; and sadly I can’t tell you too much about them cause their story is a bit still up in the air as far as details go, but in general they used to be best friends back when they were kids, then the accident that gave Leo his scars happened and for reason they lost track of each other for a long while - they met again recently, tho! Leo’s been in love with Max since they were babies and being able to talk to him and interact with him again makes him incredibly happy/mushy/soft but also absurdly and unreasonably overprotective since he’s really, really scared of losing him again - Max… because of plot-related reasons hasn’t realized that Leo is the kid he used to know back when he was super young, so his falling in love with him happens as the story progresses. He finds the overprotectiveness silly and unecessary, but he doesn’t exactly mind it? He has a feeling it helps Leo more than it helps him, so he lets him do his thing. All in all, maybe Max takes more care of Leo than Leo of Max. Welp, their story is kind of a mess haha

Anon said:Have you ever thought about doing nsfw? Or at least something kinda hot?

This is actually answered in my faq! But yeah, no, I don’t do nsfw, sorry! Something kinda hot… maybe in the future? But I gotta be in a very specific mood that doesn’t come around too often, so I dunno if and when that’s gonna be!

[anarchy-in-the-pre-k]

absolutely pissed at a few friends i know dont go on tumblr. 

dont know anyone to talk to bc im down to two friends in my life so unless i want to lose them too then i guess i just have to scream into the void of anonymous blogging. ive had an crazy pathological FOMO for almost as long as i can remember. ive felt like an old old man since i was 15. all i can think about every day of my goddamn life is the passing of time and how my youth has been wasted in circumstances/a time and place where theres no cool counterculture/art for art’s sake/anything meaningful and social. im 20 now and ive been feeling like my best years are behind me for years. college is a nightmare. ive lost every friend ive had except for two and im not even entirely sure why. nobody wants to do anything. there are old friends in town, im always surrounded by old friends, but none of them leave the house. i dont want to live in a world where the only people in my life are friends from high school who blow me off every night for their millionth round of league of legends and my genuinely insane alcoholic dad who just goes on crazy rants that make me want to kill hiim and then myself. this is a crazy way to live. i cant move out. even if i could, id be miserable having a landlord/being a wage slave again. my god, all i want is the barest amount of social interaction that doesnt make me want to die. i cant believe ive never been to a crazy party, that almost all the friends ive ever had never wanted to do anything but sit around and play video games.

but onto what’s bothering me today. met up with the two friends i have left. known them for a while but we didnt use to be as close. they’re the closest to “interesting” or countercultural/artistic friends ive ever had, but they see all of that as mostly behind them. im incredibly resentful of not being “let in” on some of the more crazy times they had when we were growing up, but i can usually manage those feelings. today, they were just reminiscing about this secret spot in the woods they used to have wild parties at during high school. the way they described it made it seem like every stupid youthful experience that i’ve ever wanted. huge gatherings getting broken up by cops, a small pond for diving in from a gigantic vandalized cliff. glow sticks tied in trees for when it gets dark. ive known about this place forever, and ive always asked everyone to show it to me. i asked for years and years and years and nobody took the fucking 2 hours out of their lives to satisfy my curiosity. now i just have to sit there and listen to them talk about it like its the greatest thing that ever happened to them, so many life-changing experiences. so many true and completely authentic celebrations of being young and irresponsible. everything i always wanted, i begged them over and over to show me when we were all younger and they never found the time. now, they just talk about it, and i sit there, visually super uncomfortable, i tell them im annoyed that they never got around to taking me there- they dont take criticism well at all. they try to be polite, but they just want me to quit complaining. after the most hyperbolic shit you can imagine coming out of their mouths about this glorious place that shaped their young lives, i immediately hear a “oh, you wouldnt have liked it anyway, logan” just to shut me up. i didnt say anything to them for the rest of the day.

I know how crazy I sound, I dont care. I know there’s something wrong with me in the way i glorify those kinds of memories, how badly i want times like that to come back, but they know that about me too, and it was almost as if that whole conversation was designed specifically to torture me. it was like they took my deep-rooted, extremely sensitive pathological FOMO and said absolutely every combination of words that would set it off. i felt like some kind of incredibly cruel joke was being played on me at certain points. they went on for like 20 minutes. i think im really getting sick of this friend group, but if idecide to take a break from them, then ill be down to 0 friends. 0 friends and my only human interaction will be with my insane, narcissistic, racist, violent dad, who’s just looking for an excuse to kick me out of the house anyway.

I hate the kind of person i am now. I hate having this much hate in me. I know that absolutely nothing in this environment is doing any favors for me mentally, but i cant think of anything else to do. I say that now, even as I type it, I dont feel any better. there is nothing cathartic about this. I can say it over and over again “I dont know what to do now” but that doesnt change the fact that when im done making this post, i will have to keep living this. i have no power to change my life. there are no new friends to be had. i dont know how to meet women beyond dating apps, and staying on them makes me miserable. i have no other relatives to complain about my dad to. i have no other friends i can complain about these two to. all i do is list my problems in my head with nothing productive to be done even after identifying my problems. I know that so much of it is “just me”, but my environment is forcing all the worst parts of me to come out over and over. im horribly, incredibly lonely, but i hate everyone i come to interact with. i dont know if theres any hope for it to ever be otherwise for me. i thought i would use isolation, especially during quarantine, to make some money and prove my worth to myself as an artist. ive had my stories published bought by a few magazines now and i still feel horribly empty. i feel too world weary to even imagine myself having a positive relationship/friendship with anyone ever again. im just so tired of every single person that i meet. im tired of everyone, and the most amount of pleasure afforded to me is sitcom reruns and fast food. the safest, most conformist material pleasures that there are. i hate my own melodrama, i hate that i care this much about small thinngs, i hate that theres something so deeply wrong with my psyche that im this crazed by the mention of a punk hangout spot that nobody ever showed me when i was younger, but i am going to live the rest of my life resenting that everyone around me only wanted to game, and nobody ever wanted to go to the shady/weird spots of the woods with me. how can i have missed my chance to childishly self indulgence, only to come out a whining adolescent still? how can i still be such a kid while missing what it felt like to be a kid? i dont know. ive always felt this way, but its only been especially bad for the last 3ish years. if it keeps going like this i dont know what ill do. again, no catharsis. again, there is nothing healing about my writing this. life sucks at every moment and then, somehow, i decide to keep living. im going to build a ted shed soon i think

[briteboy]

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did  :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

[actualbird]

Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u

OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 

i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 

(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)

Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]

He begins at it already pried apart

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.

DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.

World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last.

“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)

catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]

What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?

hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the

Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]

“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.

“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”

Merlin chose to shut up.

all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.

Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.

fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]

“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”

Everybody stared at him.

“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”

ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 

Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.

(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 

OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!

[mindovermilitante]

Morning Ritual Day 2

Good-morning All, 

Before we start today I am going to go ahead and try to make this blog post as correct and grammatically error free as possible. However seeing as I struggled to spell “good-morning” im sure this will still probably be crap English. Sorry once again but I must continue on. Ive been thinking a little about this blogs format and how often I will be updating my “journey” and although I do want to make the commitment to post every day, i do want to try and post multiple days if the occasion does arise. I see this blog as a potential escape or a funnel of some sorts to really expel what im feeling at the moment. I guess if you're reading this or if im reading this in the future you can be the audience looking into my life. Potentially acting not only as an audience member but even someone to vent to, preach to, or even gain understanding from. Lastly i want to preface by sayin that i want these to be public knowledge. I think hiding all of these emotions and feelings in my life for what seemed like forever wasn't quite different from when its put in a private folder in my computer. But alas i digress and so begins the blog post for day 2 of my journey into getting my life back...

This morning I awoke with an uneasy feeling both in my mind and my stomach. the day was about to start and so was my journey into “whatever it would lead me to”. As I stretched around and hugged my girlfriend as she made her way into the shower I began to structure my day based on what needed to be done.

“okay nathan you're going on your morning walk. keep it light, but maybe add some distance. when you get back lets make some breakfast. Possibly two eggs with spinach some avocados and blue berries. Ya thats sounds great for the beginning meal for the day. Oh also remember to grab some snacks for the day to keep you going until lunch.”  

At this point my girlfriend had already left for work and i was left alone in the room. Now at this point it really is a decision for me to get up or hit that snooze button 5 times. Not going to lie i hit it one time but got up as soon as the second alarm hit. I put on some nice sweat pants and a comfy sweatshirt, filled up my hydro flask with cold water, and put on a video of Tony Robbins. I believe todays topic talked about “understanding what you want in your life”. If you havent heard about Tony i highly recommend listening to a couple of his seminars because they are incredibly worth the the listen. And so i was off on my walk from this point on. 

Now back in my hard running days i usually had a solid route i would take that i was fairly used to. Something that I could constantly improve on and soemthing that to me could be constant. But in a quite opposite fashion I went the other way hoping for at least an ounce of change in my life. I should probably preface by saying that I live in a place where we do have four seasons (kinda) and fall was the season just starting. The cold weather on my skin, and the smell of morning dew helped me focus on the walk at hand. As I was walking ahead i focused on the seminar i was listening to through my headphones. I cant remember to much about what was said but the main points i got from it were building a tradition or somewhat of a habit to better ones life. 

And that hit me. I think for the longest time i had been developing these wrong habits and ultimately was steering myself into the ground.

Hitting snooze on the alarms to bypass my runs 

Going out to eat when I could cook at home 

Finding time to relax and letting things play out 

Eating unhealthy and not portioning meals 

skipping meals all together 

brushing off new adventures just because they cant fit in my schedule 

I think its one thing to say we have a bat habit, but to have a plethora of bad habits can ultimately lead us down a road of failure. But what about the good habits? I think ever since we are little we a programmed to think of habits as bad things? Well why does it have to be a bad things. Why cant a habit be a good thing. something you're absolutely fixated on and potentially obsessed with can make you a better person in the end. I think so habits need to be looked upon more.So on my walk i developed some habits that i need to start following. They are as listed 

Wake up early to walk( run in the future until Blood pressure is situated). Walk for even30 minutes. Figure out a new route every time or maybe increase the distance you walk 

Start eating healthier and practice proper portion control. Incorporate a wide variety of vegetable. Dont be afraid to skimp out on the red meat and go for the vegetarian meal. 

Drink water and dont stop drinking water. Add a couple lemons or other fruits to it to add somewhat of a flavor profile. 

Talk to your girlfriend, friends, and family more about whats going on in their lives and my life as well. Friendships are built on conversations and it starts wit opening up to them about how you are doing. 

Start understanding things come as they must. Life is filled with ups and downs. Understanding how to enjoy them is the goal. Trying to understand why something happens will get you now where in life. 

Meditate. Even for 15 minutes. Practice on your breathing and understand that you are in control of how you breath and the stress you put on your body. Clear all thoughts in your mind and understand that your body needs to take a break. 

Habits define who we are and can lead the bridges to how our goals are accomplished. Before I knew it i had already walked a fair distance away from my house. I had absolutely no clue where I was. But yet I found myself at ease. As i began my walk back to my home i stopped and looked around. Ive been doing this thing lately where I will focus on three things. For todays list it was a school, a corner house, and some school kids playing around. I dont know why I focused myself on these things but it happened. As i continued on i felt myself feeling something i had not felt in awhile. 

A high of some sorts. The type of high you would only get after a hard run. Had a really gotten myself to the point where a walk would give me that feeling. Or maybe it was because my body had thanked me for getting out of the house. 

“Maybe im on to something” 

I say this to myself feeling great, but slowly the anxiety comes back. I know im on to something but in time it will tell fi that something works out. Until then im here for it.

As i prepared my breakfast the idea of going back to work kept coming up. What would it be like to be back in the clinic. would it be the same. would I like it again after all of this. Case in point... I dont know if I will but I have to make a change. not necessarily a change in occupation but a change in “habit”. A habit to do good agin to understand that im changing the loves of everyone around me and those people I do meet in the medical field. Thinking about all that made me realize i love what i do. But what i need to do is different from cutting out the thing i do already and changing them. Wow that was a little strange to type but okay. haha. 

As i finished my breakfast headed into the shower i took my blood pressure. For me blood pressure can be read as the force  being imprinted on your arterial wall and heart walls. This pressure reading can be an indicator for a lot of things; stress, diabetes, hyper tensions, heart failure. The list goes on and on. Currently based on medical standards a normal reading should be under 120/80. This implies the heart and arteries are working at its normal functions. When I checked into the doctors my blood pressure reading was around 140/90. Yesterday my blood pressure reading was 136/ 85. This morning at 820am 

117/82

Now i thought to myself this cant be right? how can it lower so drastically over night. Im sure its due to my heart resting after a work out or the drastic food diet i have been eating. But I do think in part, its because of stress. Managing my stress is a main part of me getting back to my old self. Now do i believe that its fixed... oh god no... its going to be a long journey. But until that day comes.

Im going to be okay...

Thank you for listening :) 

[merrysithmas]

The twitter post on nonbinary gender that you posted....ever since you started specifically posting about nonbinary gender, I've been wanting to ask you its meaning because I had never come across it. But I was scared and embarrassed to ask you cause i thought you'd get mad at me. Sometimes I want to educate myself but then you don't know who to talk to or ask about things. And also thank you because through your blog I am learning so much about gender.

oh thank you!!! thank you so much for sending this and asking. i am always here for questions and thank you for having an open heart and a kind soul. i know sometimes it can be intimidating to learn – and it shouldnt be. we live in a very divided world right now, and i wish people would be more receptive to questions and bridge building.

it is my personal philosophy there is a difference between anger and hate – anger can be channeled into action and example and good. hate makes you have a commonality with all the other evil sectors in this world and i refuse to be a part of it.

as for nonbinary gender – basically this is an umbrella term which means “is not male or female”. nonbinary people are included under the T or “trans” letter in LGBTQ because their assigned sex (AFAB, AMAB assigned female/male at birth) does not align with their gender. however, many nonbinary people do not consider themselves trans and consider themselves simply nonbinary. but many do consider themselves trans. it is up to personal choice.

there are several nonbinary genders: agender (feeling like one does not have a gender at all, genderless), genderfluid (fluid gender which switches to more female or male depending), genderqueer (a catchall term for many of these identities or some combined), nonbinary (feeling neither totally male or female, or feeling both, or feeling both but one more than the other, or feeling a new gender which is male/female combined), Two Spirit (a term specifically for use only for certain people from various indigenous societies/cultures which describes a lauded subset of people who have two genders or a conduit between genders), demigender (feeling partially male or female), etc. the list goes on.

i know a lot of people will scoff at this and think - “oh that isnt REAL” “there are only two genders”. well guess what? it is real. it has been my life for literally as long as i can remember back into childhood. it wasn’t until a few years ago i discovered the term for it, and it wasn’t until last week that i decided i want to use gender neutral pronouns. i remember one day when i was in highschool i asked myself “am i trans??” i remember being so scared i cried for a day and repressed it so hard. i have never aligned or fit in in that way. i remember telling my mom as a kid i wasn’t a boy or a girl. i remember always struggling so hard trying to decide who to be. i remember doing a google search as a kid and reading about Two Spirit people of various indigenous cultures and thinking — my god. it’s “me”. it was the first thing i ever saw that spoke to an understanding of my identity, and i felt such immense comfort i cant even describe it to you.

but now, after coming out to myself and the world i am literally the happiest with myself i have ever been in my entire life. i finally feel like i am not living inside myself, that when people meet me they know exactly who i am because im not hiding it anymore. my whole life i always had this little voice in my head saying “the person they think they are meeting/seeing isnt the whole you and they will never really know you, no one does”. i am “out” to my family and friends who matter and i am so proud of myself. im not afraid of being visible. in fact, i want to promote it.

im a future doctor and i can tell you with 100% certainty there is biological basis for separation of gender and sex. whether it it hormone levels, chromosomal activity, genome structure, brain chemistry, brain physiology and anatomy, or likely an infinitely complex amalgamation of all that and more. but one doesnt have to be a doctor to have credit in saying this: i can tell you, just as me, a nonbinary person - i am real. and i dont want to hide or suffocate anymore. society’s rules and binaries are truly blind. they leave out so, so many people. and we are at a revolution in our culture right now that i hope is going to change that exclusion forever. i hope people will see other people free and realize the strictures and rules they were brought up to live behind arent all that exists.

i always say it like this: if you are cisgender (a person whose gender matches their sex at birth) it is not your job to “understand” a trans or nonbinary person. because you literally cant. you can’t pass judgment on something you literally cannot experience. a cisgendered person’s brain is not built with the chemistry/function of someone who experiences a nonbinary life. there is nothing wrong with that. but the job of a cisgendered person is to say: “i will never understand what that feels like, but i will -believe- it is real because trans and nonbinary people have the dignity of personhood, they are PEOPLE, just like me, and if they tell me this is how their bodies work it must be how it is working inside of them.”

and one more thing - gender identity has nothing to do with gender presentation. which means, a nonbinary person who dresses femme, wears make up and has long hair is just as nonbinary as a masculine presenting nonbinary or androgynous nonbinary person. a cisgendered woman who wears tshirts and baseball hats because that is what makes her comfortable is still a woman. a cisgenderd man who wears makeup is still a man. a trans woman who wears suits is still a woman. a transman who likes makeup is still a man. your gender is in your head, your sex/genitals are in your pants, and your aesthetic preference is just how you hapoen to like to decorate your body.

sexual orientation is separate from all of this, and is simply who you are attracted to. a cisgendered woman can be attracted to women: lesbian, poly, pan, bi. a nonbinary person can be bi, pan, poly too. a transman can also be bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc. a cisgendered man can be hetero or gay.

dysphoria is psychological and physical discomfort with ones sex/genitals/body/body function because it does not align with one’s gender. some trans/nonbinary people experience and many dont! so for instance as a nonbinary person i sometimes get intense dysphoria over my chest (breasts) and menstruation. more often than not i deal with it, sometimes im even proud of it, i am proud of surviving as a female-bodied person in this misogynistic world! im proud of the perspective it gives me on humanity. but if i could get rid of them would i? most days, most likely! ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts, i legit hate them. but some days i can deal. i console myself by saying all genitals are homologous to each other - male and female gentials are essentially the reverse of one another and so the same. they dont dictate who you are. if a woman with cancer gets an oophrectomy does thay make her not a woman anymore? of course not! if a man has his testicles removed is he no longer a man? am i a woman because i have a vagina? nope! gender isn’t one’s body. as a nonbinary pansexual person my identity is pretty firmly in the grey area lol. i consider myself an attractive androgynous. i am proud of who i am and what i look like, even when im not totally content.

i hope some of this helps and i hope you will spread acceptance! sorry this got so long but i wanted to give a real answer. always feel free to ask anything else, weird or not weird, i promise i wont get offended. :)