#oh my god they fucking ded

[oceanlipgloss]

I...I think I just finished this Simeon fic. Oh God. It's been too long. It will finally, finally be discharged from the elderly home for WIPs. I'll post it tomorrow :P

[gender-euphowrya]

i may have fucked up

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

UM OK I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID THE LIL GIRL SHOULD KILL PPL

BUT SHE'S KILLED HER SISTER TO TURN HER INTO A BABY ZOMBIE WTF

[slutnali]

My love, it’s been an honour 😔✊ see you on the other side, hopefully

I see the light.. I see the—

[retrogradedreaming]

I played a Dreamcast, an absolute relic, for the first time last weekend, and what a throwback to my early gaming experience

[psychedelicriot]

MONSTER X MEDIATOR Walkthrough: Red Room 001/NauseAxe_404/Your Biggest Fan

Hi, got this game DL'd just yesterday, and I'm defo frustrated since I want to see some walkthroughs ;-; Here we go, I guess? Note that this is how I got the ending through my way, pretty sure that there could've been any other way, but this is how I got mine! This would include commentaries on the ending, you might wanna skip if you don't care.

This game is still on progress, so far I've done both walkthroughs for both rooms!

TW/CW: This game contains questionable theme, bloods, explicit description of gore, and sexual assault on this route.

WILL BE UPDATED IF THE CREATOR MAKE ANOTHER UPDATE ON THE GAME! <3

If you'd like to, you can check other routes walkthrough here! Purple Room 004

For even getting to Room 001, you should know that you shouldn't run away with the money, but just enter the hotel.

Bad Ending: Overstimulated

OH MY GOD! I HAVE A FAN!!!

That's it. You're ded. This ending is basically him just being overstimulated by his emotions, even tho he already held onto his axe, therefore he lost it and just slam the axe up to your face, sha-zam. This ending could also be achieved through this:

I have a fan...?

Promise you'll write again if he leaves his room

Yes/No would still bring you back to the same route.

Why are you holding back?

Why would you die?

I do.

Bad Ending: Grape

I have a fan...?

Promise you'll write again if he leaves his room.

Yes/No would stil bring you back to the same route.

Why are you holding back? / I'll go write the story now

Why would you die?

I don't. And I'm not scared either.

That's not fear

1-I'm thrilled.

Touch him.

The ending title itself is pretty self-explanatory, but basically you just fangirl over him too much, he can't take it and he just decided to break your ribcage, slam his axe onto you, then grape you.

Bad Ending: Two Broken People

I have a fan...?

Promise you'll write again if he leaves his room

Yes/No would still bring you back to the same route.

Why are you holding back?

Why would you die?

I don't. I'm just scared.

Let's settle on...10 pages?

I can't.

Fuck you

You would love this one if you're interested in him calling you a... bitch... (Shame on you). Basically, he would degrade you, you'll degrade him back, and he actually liked it. It's hot and spicy, until you actually spit on him and say something like how he's broken beyond repair. You'll shame him for that, and FUCK THIS ROUTE IS SO AnGSTY. He'll sob while breaking you, claiming he actually knows that he's broken beyond repair, but he wants to pretend that there is any hope. sobs. Then you got what you deserve!!!! You're broken too!!!!

RED ROOM 001: PERSUASION SUCCESSFUL (1)

I have a fan...?

Promise you'll write again if he leaves his room

Yes/No would still bring you back to the same route.

Why are you holding back? / I'll go write the story now

Why would you die? / I'll go write the story now

I don't. I'm just scared.

Write the 100 pages

(You could fuck around by saying you're unable to, but remember that you need to concede at the end by saying Okay fine. Don't curse him.)

Yay, basically it's not the ending, you still need to handle the other rooms (if you haven't). Though, you basically managed to coerce him to leave the room. And you'll get his information sheet afterwards!

RED ROOM 001: PERSUASION SUCCESSFUL (2)

I have a fan...?

Promise you'll write again if he leaves his room

Yes/No would still bring you back to the same route.

Why are you holding back?

Why would you die?

I do.

That's not fear

I'm thrilled.

Leverage your safety.

You basically gaslight him into k1lling you, telling him to just banish you from existence, yadda yadda. To the point where he couldn't even be near you, so you ask him to leave.

RED ROOM 001: PERSUASION SUCCESSFUL (3)

I have a fan...?

Find out why he doesn't want to leave his room.

Yes/No would still bring you back to the same route.

Why else aren't you leaving your room? / Who's paying me to do this? (You can choose both option and would still come back to the same options-choosing)

What exactly are you?

Say please until he leaves his room. / Say it would be sooooo attractive if he left his room.

Both last option leads into the same result, but you might need to do more begging with the first one, it's cute and fun though!

[leynaeithnea]

I didnt get an ask for this BUT WE'RE BACK

my Wisdom saga reaction/analysis!!!!!

26. Legendary

TELEMACHUS MY BOYYYY

THE MELODY AT THE BEGINNING OF LEGENDARY IS SO COOL

the instruments aaah, lowkey obssessed

"its jus tme myself and i" perimedes would like u

"living in this world you left behind".........this song makes oyu think so much about what life has been in Ithica in those years since Odysseus had to leave, he was loved, he is *King*, AH

"dreaming of all these monster, that ill never to get to fight" better this way, u dont wanna end up like your daddy

"but boy i wish i could so i could bring the world some light" BABY BOY

"Cause I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are And no idea if you're dead or just too far" his mother wouldve told him so many stories :aniTears:

"Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign if I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" PLS HE jusT WANTS TO FIND HIS DAD GIVE THIS MAN HIS FATHER

"If so, then give me sirens and a cyclops Give me giants and a hydra" hes just naming every monster he can think of of the myths he grew up with

"I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be legendary" U GO BOY; I LOVE YOU, also such a mood

"I'll fight the harpies and chimeras, the Minotaur, even Cerberus I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be l-l-l-l-legendary"....yea same like the two parts before, any monster he can think of, he gotta be one of us kids who read a lot

THEN The droppp in his voice, HE SOUNDS SO SCARED

"There are strangers in our halls" That must be TERRIFYING, just imagine that, dozens of men in your home just prying on your mother and youre too young to do anything rly

"Trying to win the heart of my mom, but she is standing tall" THAT VOCAL PERFORMANCE, W FOR PENELOPE; GIRLBOSS

"108 old faces of men who call me small" EW; 108 IS SO MANY BRO; SO MANY????? Also "old faces" ISJGSEIGJ "who call me small" boy, i feel so bad for you

"They keep taking space and it's not much longer we can stall" !!!! HES WORKING WITH HIS MOTHER TRYING TO HOLD THEM OFF; AH AAAAH, also fuck them, leave their home alone, god he must feel so unsafe in his own home :screams:

"'Cause they're getting impatient, dangerous too" oh no :( so scared lil boy

"And I would fight them if I was half as strong as you" HE LOOKS UP TO HIM SO MUCH AH

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?" HES ALSO A MOMMY BOY; AND HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM; STAND BY HER SIDE; U GO BOY, 🥹

Chrous SLAPs

"Where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? " bitch stay away (also cut song reference!)

"Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend your life?" HE IS ON His WAY HOme SO STAY THE FUCK AWAYYYYYYYY ARGG ILL FIGHT U

"Cause it's been 20 years, 20 years" 20 FUCKING YEARS??? THATS AS OLD AS I AM (and telemachus for that measure, same age, yay!) BUT BRO IMAGINE WAITING FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO COME HOME FOR 20 YEARS; PENELOPE X ODY OTP; PENELOPE FIGHTING OFF 108 SUITORS FOR 20 YEARS AND ODY FIGHTING OF *GODS* Trying TO TRAP AND USE AND KEEP HIM, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER

"And we still have no king" >:) >:) imagine an island without leader for 20 years oh boy h boy, the power vacuum, 108 people who want to take his place

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny and-" HE WANTS TO SO BADLY he juST DOESNT KNOW HOW AND WHEre TO START BC AH, also the music sounds like he just tries to sneak around his palace, to not get caught by the suitors, dodging and on guard, i can just imagine him ducking his head and looking at every corner for smth danger-

"Boy".......that slapped hard, FUCK YOU ANTINOUS (hi perimedes :) )

"When's your tramp of a mother gonna choose a new husband?" FUCK YOU STAY AWAY (the dELIVERY)

"OoooOOoh" we have a new choir! the crew is ded but we have the suitors now hah, ill take it, love me some choir responses

"Why don't you open her room so we can have fun with her?" THE AUDACITY? WHORE FUCKING BASTARD STAY THE FUCK AWAY

"Dont you dare, call my mother a tramp" U GO BOY; TELL HIM (be careful, dont get hurt) THE VOCAL DELIVERY OF THAT LINE IS SO gOOD

"OoooOOoh" chiorr

" I just did, Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?" FUCK OFF ANTINOUS, DONT BE SO SMUG FUCK U

"Somebody tell me, Come and give me a sign, If I fight this monster, Is it you I'll find?" u desrve your dad so much, he'll come home, promise...promise....hold on, be stronk, u got this boy, also "this monster" its none from your stories, no this is real, its worse its right infront of you AH

Sorry for the swearing :") AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH, ONE OF MY FAVS FOR SURE (...we'll come back after recency bias but i dont think itll change)

EDIT: DANGER MOTIF WHEN ANTINOUNS JOINS IN!!!!! (are there more? im new to this PLS TELL ME)

@lorethebookworm

[realtalkswithfinn]

The Olympians as Vine References

This is from forever ago, but I found it in my drafts and it still makes me giggle. Enjoy.

Zeus: “I said whoever threw that paper, your mom is a hoe.”

Poseidon: “I see you don’t have a lifeguard here at your beach.” “I’m not at the beach this is a bathtub-“

Hades: “YOULL BE A DED SONOFABITCH ILL TELL YOU DAT-“

Hera: “for everytime you don’t yell at your kids, put a quarter in your sock and soon you’ll have a weapon to beat-“

Demeter: “Dad look its the good kush.” “It’s the dollar store how good can it be?”

Hephaestus: “this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING LOVE YOU-“

Ares: “I’ll rip your face off, bitch!” “What did he do?” “He fuckin pushed me -“

Athena: “that is not correct, because according to the encyclopedia of phlphlphl-“

Apollo: “wOw”

Artemis: “go back to sleep, and starve.”

Hermès: “oh my god they were roommates.”

Dionysius: “two shots of vodka.”

there WILL be a part two.

[asagirisfavoritepen]

The new chapter was crazy. Like wtf??? Ratstoievski (Fyodor) got the One Order??? And he has Bram's ability??? Does that mean that every time after he gets killed by an ability user he has 2 abilities??? Wasn't there like a rule that u can only have one??

Also, am I the only one that thinks that Fyodor doesn't actually care about Aya like he pretends? I'm pretty sure bro is lying again.

And wtf do u mean Teruko is an actual child??? Like, when I saw the leaks I was pretty sure she gonna be fine cuz she's an adult. Nup. My girl is like 12. She ded. Also, did I read that right or are my reading comprehension skills shit? SHE WAS MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE FOUGHT IN THE WAR??? I swear to all the Gods that could possibly exist that if I see one more person talking shit about her I'm going to jail for torture and murder.

Oh almost forgot to mention that FUKUCHI FUCKING ABSORBED THE LIQUID SHE WAS TRANSFORMED INTO AFTER BEING STABBED

And the fuck u mean Fukuchi is being fully controlled by Fyodor? Bro isn't playing fair! Like, Fyodor is (kinda) immortal, he got the One Order, he got Bram's ability ("echoes" of it, but still) and a motherfucking tripolar singularity that's as strong as a God??? Not fair. Chuuya, Verlaine, move ur asses to that airport now.

And no Ranpo??? Where is my son??? (I'm younger than him) Huh??? Is my baby ok?? Is he hurt? He gotta be alive, right? Fukuzawa, Aya and Teruko survived the thingie-thing so he probably did too. Right???

And how come we didn't get skk or sskk this month?? It's Pride Month. Asagiri is being homophobic. (Jk, I don't ship either) But hey, we finally got some Atsushi. A whole panel!

Also, I will assume that since we didn't get any more Sigma or Fyodor's memories, Sigma will wake up soon. Probably knowing how to defeat Fyodor.

And wdym Fedya just "came up" with the war?? Didn't Fukuchi see it in some vision from Ame no gozen or smth? Did Fyo just walk to him and was like "Uhm so... there will be a war in like 40 years. So we... uhm gotta eliminate the ADA. Oopsies."???

I can't anymore

So long story short, BSD is becoming Naruto (everyone is over powered and gay and idk what's going on)

[dance-till-the-death]

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OH, MY, GOD, SIR THAT IS ILLEGALSHSHYSB3HAJSBUSJA DBEKAKDBWHNSBSDB

im ded-

NO ACTUALLY WHAT JUST HAPPEN YNAHDIAGYAGAHAKA

[rileyh20]

tw sa actually heavy mention but related to fic ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ THROWING UP ACTUALLY WHAT THE FUCK “Finney looked down and noticed that there was some fabric peaking out from the man’s hoodie pocket. It was the same colour as the shirt he had been looking for that morning, but Finney dismissed the thought immediately.” WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

Did you forget that part-

Bro ya good-

Are ya ded-

[og-rick]

How can c-137 not want u? Ur literally so hot and charming

THATS WHAT IM FUCKING SAYING OH MY GOD!!!! hes just mad bc he doesnt want to admit that i wus a better lay then his ded wife lol >;P

[wammyhoe]

Happy birthday, Mello

Summary: Baking a cake as birthday present for Mello sounded like an easy task. After you sent him (much against his will) to find some inexistent products at your local store, you find out there are more than a milion ways this could go wrong.

A/N: Comedy / romance / female!reader / established relationship /

--

You snuggled closer to Mello. He brushed his lips on your hair. His voice was peaceful as he read to you. You caressed his chest idly, enjoying the faint, relaxed smile on his face. 

The snow tapping your window eased you as much as the softwood cracks at the room's fireplace. There was just a tiny problem: you craved more hot chocolate. You motioned up, but Mello held you tighter in response. 

“Where are you going?”

“I'm out of chocolate, I’m getting a little more. You want some too?” 

Mello hummed. “Yeah, but I’ll go.” 

You turned, smiling teasingly. “Ooh, feeling a little attentive today, huh?”

Mello gives out a small laugh. “You think that’s what it is? I just want my chocolate to be drinkable. You always make it too hot,” he retorted with the same playful teasing tone.

You watched him as he left, which later led your eyes to the wall calendar. His birthday was three days away. You gasped at the sudden realization that you haven't prepared anything yet.

It wasn’t difficult to pick something for Mello. You knew him better than anyone. You had been dating since the dreadful Kira days, and you've been through thick and thin together. This year, however, you want to gift him something different. Something meaningful. Special.

The wooden floor cracked again when Mello came back with two steaming cups. He carefully gave one to you and placed the other on the nearby table. 

“Now, where were we?” he asked once you were leaning comfortably on him, his chin brushed on your head as he spoke.  

"What bloody man is that?" you answered trying to act the part, which earned you a soft laugh.

“Oh, that’s right. What bloody man is that?...” he continued. Yet, this time you stopped listening.

This year's gift needed to communicate how important he was to you. Perhaps, you could make something for him. Yes! That was it! A handmade gift would do!

****

After a day –and several hours of youtube videos and wandering Pinterest–you decided that baking him a cake was the top option. It was thoughtful and romantic, and you could add that skincare complete-set he was looking at in the store the other day. 

Now the hard part of this would be how to take Mello out of the house for almost half a day so you could not only bake and decorate a two-floored goddamn cake but wrap the gift and buy other stuff you might need.

It then occurred to you that sending him to buy something that he couldn't find would do just nicely. That night at dinner, you let out the bomb.

December 12th, 6:45 pm, at your shared home.

“Babe,” you called.

Mello raised his gaze from his pasta dish as he kept rolling it with the fork.

“Could you get something for me after dinner?” 

“What do you need?” 

“Just some feminine stuff,” you said. Could someone like Mello fall into this trap? Oh, maybe you were a bit foolish.

He quirked a brow. “Pads?” Mello guessed. You shock your head. 

“No. It’s the hmm… the new… rose coochie douche.” 

You have to bite your tongue so as not to laugh at his face. Your boyfriend stares at you for a flat second before placing the fork down.

“What the fuck is that?” 

“It’s a new special soap for the genital area!” 

“Is it different from the one you already have?" He asked with a sceptical look.

"Yes."

"How is it different?"

Oh no, he wasn’t buying it. 

“D-Do you want the explanation now that we’re eating?!” 

“I’m pretty hard to gross out.”

True, he did behead someone once.

“God, Mello! It's just a bar of soap! come on please, I’m about to be on my days and it'd be nice to have it. Is supposed to help with chafing,” you said the last part as if it embarrassed you. 

He sighed, staring dead into your eyes with a look you only saw him use when trying to deduce something back in his mafia boss days, and you gave him your best puppy eyes in response.

“Fine. But I swear to god if you’re sending me looking for something that doesn’t exist…”

“No, I promise! I know it has a weird name but it’s real. They only sell it at the Walmart by the old green tavern.”

“Across the city?!” he hushed-screamed, his expression falling over in shock. 

“Yes,” your voice came out shaky and little, maybe with a hint of questioning tone. 

Mello took a deep breath, brushing his hair with one hand, pushing the bangs out of his forehead in that way you found adorable. 

“And you need it to deal with chafing,” Mello said, maybe reasoning out loud he wasn't that much of a dick so as not to help you with that.

“Yes.” 

A fraction of a second –that felt like two eternities– passed before he reluctantly indulged you.

“Fine.” 

December 12th, 10:45 pm, at your shared home.

Mello left several hours ago and hadn’t come back yet. You’d be worried if he wasn’t who he was, and if you weren’t dealing with a whole fucking two-floored velvet cake on your own. 

Overall, things weren’t going too badly. You bought the base (a black plate with a stick of the same colour to stabilize the cake) and made the topping which was saved in the freezer. 

The only thing left was preparing the mix. After baking it, you could add the topping, decorate it, and you'd still have enough time to hide it in the fridge for tomorrow. 

December 12th, 10:45 pm, at Walmart.

“I’m sorry sir, could you repeat once again what is it that you’re looking for?” 

Mello was trying, trying with all his might not to murder someone right there and then. He gritted his teeth.

“Rose coochie douche. It’s supposed to be a new soap for intimate female care.”

Both cashiers exchanged a look, their mouths folded in an attempt to hold the laughter. Mello sighed, defeated and fed up.

“It doesn’t exist, does it?” One of them just couldn’t hold it any longer and slapped her hand over her mouth after she snorted. 

“Sir, I wouldn't know… but if it does exist we don’t sell it here.” the other said forcing down a smile, her cheekbones turning pink. 

Unbelievable. He had been stocked in the traffic for hours only to have two strangers mock him at fucking Walmart because you sent him on a prank trip.

“Never mind.” Mello spat under his breath.

 He adjusted his jacket's neck when he stepped outside. As he walked to his car, he pulled out his phone pondering whether or not to call you. He stared at the screen for a few seconds before deciding he wasn't giving you the satisfaction. 

A boy in a motorbike honked, startling him. Mello jumped off of the parking spot, remembering he still hadn't bought the tires to fix his own. The store was a few blocks ahead. It was open twenty-four-seven.

Mello glanced at his phone once more. It was late, but if got them now, he wouldn’t have anything to do tomorrow, therefore, he’d be able to spend his whole birthday at home.

His birthday. 

Ever since he was a kid those things seemed stupid. Why bother celebrating something so useless? it wasn’t like anyone cared anyway. Those sorts of things, the ones related to family and cheering someone for existing were matters he found troublesome to process, as he was convinced his life wasn't worth celebrating. 

Luckily for him, he found you, and even if he still wasn’t fully convinced his existence was worth as much as you claimed, Mello sure didn’t consider celebrating his birthday useless anymore. 

Before he could stop himself, he was dumbly smiling at the memory of how you practically forced a few mafia junks to sing happy birthday to him that one time. 

Fuck. 

He couldn’t stay mad at you, could he?

December 12th, 11:30 pm, at your shared home.

The fucking cake wasn’t puffing. The mix was still flat and bubbling, but it had been almost an hour in the oven! something must be wrong, but you couldn’t tell what. You followed the recipe step by step. Maybe you poured in too much red colourant? Oh God, if Mello arrived before you finished, how were you gonna explain this? 

Wait! maybe if you increased the power of the oven, the mixture would bake faster! 

December 12th, 11:52 pm, at your shared home.

As soon as Mello opened the door, the smell of burnt and smoke hit his nose, triggering an alarm signal in his brain that became raw panic when he heard you screaming. 

Mello darted like a shot arrow towards the living room. He grabbed the emergency extinguisher before running to the kitchen, firing it as soon as he saw the flames coming out of the oven before you. 

You gasped when the cold hit your side. The next thing you heard was the empty hit of metal on the floor. Mello pulled you to him.

“Hey, look at me!" he demanded, shaking you a bit. Your eyes were stuck on the over. Mello forced you to face him. "Look at me! Are you okay?!” 

Mello was frantically pulling you close to him, his hands wandering your face, neck and arms as he searched for any wound. The pain of your skin being calcined was one of the things he would never want you to experience. 

“I’m okay,” you said between coughs, as you reached for the window, tearing it open.

“What the hell were you doing?!” Mello shrieked, worry staining his voice. 

Now that the smoke was gone, you could see the remains of burned cake covered with foam. You felt like crying. 

“Baking…” you whispered, trying to reach the stove. Mello didn’t let you. 

“Baking? Is this why you sent me finding some stupid made-up product?! so you could bake?! Do you have any idea of what time it is?” His voice raised more with every question. It held a certain denigrating tone. 

“This could've gone out of control!” he yelled. 

“I didn’t think… I was just trying… I–” you sighed.

Your trembling knees gave out, and you allowed your weight to go limp, propelling Mello to the floor with you slowly. 

“I just wanted to bake the cake for your birthday. I have never given you anything handmade. I thought it was a good idea." you muttered, flooded with self-disappointment, unable to look at him. You snickered. "How stupid, right? I have never done this before, yet somehow I thought I could manage to do it in a few hours."

You roughly tossed the dishcloth you’d been holding onto the floor. 

” I wanted it to be a surprise. Sorry for the jump scare. Go to sleep, babe. I'll clean this out," you said. Tiredness crept into your tone.

Mello gaped. So that’s why you were acting funny the whole morning. That’s why you sent him on a trip to find god knows what vagina soap. 

Mello snorted.

Ever since he met you you’ve always found new ways of making him feel special. His chest felt tight with undeniable affection. 

"Well, it did surprise me." His voice carried such a sudden fondness it made you look at him. "You sure you're okay?"

You nodded.

 Mello held your chin. “Good,” he hesitated before continuing, “Sorry I yelled at you. I panicked.” 

“It’s fine, I would have too. Look at that mess. There’s nothing left to save. At least it wasn't your only gift.”

He gave you an inquisitive look.

“I got you a few more presents. This was going to be the extra. I wanted it to be special.”

Mello looked at you lovingly, all the scare and past anger long forgotten.

"I have my best present right here." 

His lips captured your mouth shortly after, and the kiss son became heated. The kitchen clock chimes at twelve. December 13th. You pulled away, smiling.

“Happy birthday Mello.” 

[genderlesssinner]

Alright nerds I'm back

Here we go with 108

SAMUEL we are 3 minutes into this episode. Holy shit.

Some weird shit going on with the gaurds okay okay

It's Ira isn't it

He's so creepy and I love it

How did no one react to "tying up daddy and gagging him" holy shit Tal

Sometimes I love watching with subtitles for the description of their fuckery. [Batman's Bane nonsense]

Ashton hold on what do you mean by take care of this

7th fucking level Psychic Lance woof. Talk about burn all your stuff

Yeah no he ded

Well this could go so poorly

"Did this just completely backfire?" Yes yes it did

Okay okay maybe we're not totally fucked

Hopefully Nana can help. Okay so gonna have some flying groups? I def agree that Nana should meet up in case Gloamglut does come back

An hour, short rest it up bitches

I can't help but picture the temple put back together with gold in the cracks, like that one method of fixing pottery

The 'play' idea isn't a bad idea I just don't know if these chucklefucks can pull it off

I love Robbie so much. Gaes is a badass spell when it works and I also do not know how tf to pronounce it

They've been talking for like 20 minutes and I still don't know what they're doing great job guys

"You knocked him out. I just wanted them to do the scene." beautiful

Oh my god.

Ash playing director for these idiot is hilarious

Oh fuck okay well shit Zathuda is gone okay okay okay but Laudna knows where he is

Back in initiative and everyone is tapped or close to it,,,, grrreaaat

Get his ass Chet he can't have many hit points

Yeeeep there's the dragon

Okay if they *just* got the short rest Nana should be here soon RIGHT??

Oooh shit okay Zathuda is dead um this is gonna have consequences Gloamglut is bout to be real mad I bet

Yeah mhm okay

Yes Fearne get the dragon GET YOUR PONY BOO

Ashley just became Mister for a second 😂😂

This could be good or it could make it worse

Oh no he saaaddd 🥺

Dorian is like nope not ready for the dragon

Yeessss Fearnie

The little guys are gonna have shaken baby syndrome from being in the dragon's hands while he's flying

Come on, horse girl!

Break! We have a fucken dragon boys. For the moment, anyway.

Back into it - flying to Nana's

Ooh interesting Gloamglut doesn't wanna land at Morri's

Oop Nana put Gloamglut on a leash

What does the Loom do what. Nana.

I definitely think they should ask Zathuda some things. They could ask about bonding to Gloamglut and also about moon stuff

Ooohhh Nana really has it for Ira huh. Spooky

I wanna see the Loom. That did not answer any questions.

This should be interesting and maybe (likely) scary

Mhmhm gruesome but also cool af

Ashley and Marisha grinning while everyone else is in various stages of horror is great

Okay look I get them checking in with Fearne vecause the guy was her father.. But like. She didn't really know him. Like someone said a bit ago, he was her father, not her dad. And yes she's lost the opportunity to know him but it's not like she lost a parent that raised her.

"It's not as nice as yours" Jesus Braius

Fearnie getting feral on us hm

Oh Ashton my love. We know you have parental issues hun.

"Are you okay Matt?" "I'm fine."

Are. Are we sure Matt's okay? (joking, mainly but like damn creepy shit this ep yall)

✨ Generational trauma ✨

I'm worried about what this conversation is gonna mean for Ashton a little bit honestly though they've had one hell of a look this whole time

Ah here's the good stuff. So something about Ruidusborn, particularly the strongest Exultants, can unlock magic similar to the Divine Gate?? The implications

"I wish I had more empathy." "You *are* my daughter." oof

Ooo a hemocraft ritual for the dragon?? Up your game Chet

Failure brings an eternal enemy, no pressure

Exaltants disappearing?? Uh oh. Maybe Ludinus has a Version 2 of the funnel thing

Oooooh maybe he's throwing them at the Gate holding Predathos eesh

Oh my god maattttt the Misty Step

DORIAN DID YOU LEAVE THE EMISSARY OUTSIDE

Okay okay Nana got this

I would now be like side eyeing all of the ...everything in Nana's place. Especially if it still has a face. Eugh.

THANK YOU LAUDNA for actually checking in with my boy. Orym is being so strong for everyone all the time 😭

Are Fearne and Ash gonna cuddle the dragon? I love this

Ooohhh Doriaaannnn same though

Oh man okay blow all the spell slots Laudy

This is fucking insane what even

Oop he's a tree okay

Several Ludinuses slapping him for several minutes, wonderful

These fucken rolls tonight damn

Oo using the spirit horse awesome awesome

Orym's speech and Ash leaving like that ajxbjdv

I have lots of feelings but no words for them

Now I want them to take Laudna back to the Vasselheim temple for some lake of blood action

Robbiiiieeee damn 'if a god can see the future.. I would imagine the one you can't see is the one where the gods come to an end.'

Oryyym an Doriaaannnn 😭😭 boooyyssss

Look at that, character growth. Ash left instead of starting shit

Oo okay Braius oh wait shit okay which god

Chase the rest away. So the betrayers would stay?? That's *bad* yall

SAMUEL

Braius is bout to get some Nana and I don't know how to feel about it

MILF Manor : Morri I'd like to Fuck. Oh my god

Cursed demon armor

Bet you if you fail the save it stays

Bompers. Wild.

Oooohhhhhh Gloamglut just saaaddd but he seems thankful that Fearne plans to let him go free

Aww he's a good booyyyyyyyy

I love Fearne and Ashton's interactions so much aaaaaaaa

Horror cozy that's totally an aesthetic isn't it

♥️♥️♥️

And that’s it guys. These posts are so long but I normally don't have a good place for a page break.. Eesh. I just have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about these idiots we love so much. But also like sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be doing this and I just zone out and listen to them and then I'm like fuck I had a Thought and didn't write it down damn..

[redpool]

Liveblog of the Teen Wolf: The Movie

Yeah that a great place to store the most powerful enemy you've ever had

That was the whitest Japanese I've ever heard

Who the fuck are you

Ok darth vader, chill out

This is the worst thing I have ever watched

Oh my god

No

Just no

Jesus

Dude, what the fuck?

Swearing??

I hate it here

Still don't like her

ELI!!!!

Jordan?? Why are you still here?

Mason's a cop now? Why.

DEREK IS A OFFICALLY A DILF

Dude, that was so unnecessary

Dude, that was so unnecessary pt 2

And you're holding hands why?

That was not a two person job

I hate you all

Exactly, why are you here?

Why are you explaining what the nemeton is? We already know????

Eli, that was unnecessary

Derek seems like the best dad

He's a shithead

And a smartass

And also a dumbass

Is it just me or is the a ting really bad?

Oh God, I know what's about to happen.

I'm not mentally prepared for what's about to happen

I dont want to see Ryan's ass

I have been subjected to so many naked bodies over the past week, I'm over it.

EW

I HATE IT HERE

WHERE DID THE RELATIONSHIP COME FROM???

THEYVE NEVER EVEN SAID TWO WORDS TO EACHOTHER

Awww, he's trying to be a good dad

Can you put your pants on please

Does this relationship actually bring anything to the plot?

*eyeroll*

Jesus christ

Why are they acting like they've never been there before??

Seriously, why.

Um ok riddler calm down

Oh, never mind

Have you just learnt to swear??

Umm??

Bonding moment?

Are we not going to talk about that???

Yeah, Eli and Derek are the only good thing about this movie.

What the fuck

Have I mentioned that I hate it here?

Umm

Wow, they really are using that r rating to the fullest, huh.

Why is she naked.

She didn't die naked, so why is she naked?

Umm

Oh

COACH!!!!!

Why am I doing this to myself

Best scene in that whole movie

The lip filler on this one

Why are her nails painted and done perfectly??

Are you kidding me?

You're going to tell me that Allison, who just came back from the dead, can beat a werecoyote, two police officers AND a true alpha?

Um ew

Dramatic ass

Ok bro, you are over acting rn

What the actual fuck

Why are you walking like that?

Mother?

Liar liar

Lol

Oh my god

Jesus

She went straight for the head

What

You're going to sit there and tell me that a human woman is stronger than a at full health werewolf?

Kitsune really said 🧍🏻‍♀️

Just heal? Why aren't you healing?

'Yeah, but I'm a good demon.' yeah bby you are

BOO BITCH

WHY HAVE YOU NOT HEALED?

I've witnessed the Derek Hale take worse hits then that and walk around like its nothing.

Ok, that was pretty cool.

Why are they taking out normal humans?

PETER

You've been spending too much time with cowboys

Jesus christ.

You two just need to kiss already

No, it's Kira. You need Kira. You don't need Lydia, you need Kira.

What in the CGI fuck was that

I seriously hate it here.

I really dont give a shit

Lady, you dont even know this child.

Her quiver was literally just empty.

Oh my god

*deep sigh*

Are Tyler Hoechlin and Ian Bohen the only actor that continued a ting after Teen Wolf ended?

You're such a shit-stirrer Peter

It should have been you, instead of Brett & Lori.

Oop, she ded

Oh, they got dusted.

Why did I just gasp?

Oh ok, just throw him down the stairs why don't you.

Oh my god

NOW SPARTA KICK HIM

Are you an idiot?

That was so unnecessary pt 3

Yeah like I cant fucking see the puddle of blood sitting right there.

I'm so uncomfortable

How has the acting gotten worse?

You guys are fully grown werewolves, it's a piece of fucking rope.

I didn't care about your relationship then and I still don't now.

It's the fucking teacher isn't it.

I miss Brett so much. Isaac too.

You're getting to Joker rn dude.

PROTECTIVE DAD DEREK

How has the eye cgi gotten worse?

Called it

That's so sad

Has everyone in this movie just forgotten how to act?

Yeah, I really dont care.

Yeah, that's not how it works bruh

See, should have recruited Peter ages ago.

YOU STUPID BITCH

HE BETTER BE OK, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

Missed you Jords

How tf would you know?

Do the roar

Holy fuck

Fully body goosebumps rn

Oh shit

Oof

Umm what?

He's a unicorn

Bout fucking time

That was so fucking cool

Ew, no.

Jesus fucking christ

I see some Johnny Cage in you Sheriff.

Umm ew

You look like a really fucked up seal

Please shift back. Your wolf faces are really ugly.

Jordan, can you please do something.

'You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man.'

Gets worse everytime.

Headbutt

Jords, had him just fine. Derek didn't have to sacrifice himself.

Unnecessary death so it doesn't count.

What is with the writers and burning the Hales.

AND IN FRONT OF HIS CHILD AND PERVIOUSLY BURNT UNCLE????

Bullshit

That didn't happen. Derek is fine.

Get out of my fucking house.

Ew

That didn't happen either.

I fucking hate you.

You're full on making me cry rn.

Pretty sure Derek was the first teen wolf character I ever liked, this hits deep.

Oh honey

No.

You seriously think that Peter and Cora would let Allison and Scott raise that child?

Ew, stop.

Have fun in hell bitch.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

Eli, what the fuck are you doing?

[usernose]

Onceler: *sings about being alive.* It is good day to be not dead!

Turbo: Pow! You are dead!

Onceler: I am dead! *Falls to the ground*

Turbo: Heh heh heh heh...

Wally: *Congo Wally*

Turbo: Oh shit *throws away Nerf gun*

Wally: *Gasp* The Onceler is dead.

Onceler: Yes, I am dead!

Wally: Why is the Onceler Dead!?

Turbo: I don't know.

Onceler: I think it was-

Wally and Turbo: Shhh, You are dead!

Onceler: OK! *Goes back to being dead*

*Alastor enters*

Alastor: What's up you wankers. Who up for a- Gah, what the bloody hell just happened!?

Wally and Turbo: The Onceler is dead.

Alastor: The Onceler is dead!?

Wally: Correct.

Alastor: 😀

*As An invisible audience cheer*

Wally: So did you see The Murderer?

Alastor and Turbo: No Sorry mate!

Wally: I will find them, I will capture them, and no one will ever die again!

Alastor: Ah, well that's nice

Turbo: I am Damn proud right now.

Alastor and Turbo: *aggressive applauding*

Bill: ATTEEEEEEENTION! The Onceler is Dead!

Wally: We know!

Bill: Who killed him?!

Wally: We don't know.

Bill: I will find clues!

*Bill is sniffing for clues*

Bill: What's that? A Weapon? THAT IS WHY THE ONCELER IS DEAD!

All: THE ONCELER IS DEAD!?

Bill: Yes. *slams table* HE DIED

All: *anguish*

Jack Skellington: *far away* Incoming.

*Jack hits Bill with his car*

Bill: *dies*

Jack: Raus, Raus. MOVE NOW! *kisses Onceler head*

Onceler: *rises from the dead before dying again*

Jack: In my medical opinion that THE ONCELER IS DEAD!

Alastor: Doc, what happened?!

Jack: My professional opinion. *slams table* THE ONCELER WAS KILLED!

Wally: Oh God

*panic*

Jack: I don't think it's anything to worry about. *hops away*

Alastor: Well. Now what?

Jack Horner: Clipidy Clop motherfucker

Wally: Oh come on

Jack H: Look at this! The freaking Onceler Dead! What do you think of that?

Wally: Ahem. Ah yes yes, Jack.

Jack H: Yeah

Wally: GO HOME!

*as Spinel waves from the Car*

Jack H: AHH COME ON! Freaking unbelievable no seriously you all suck *dies in a car crash*

Wally: Ok... let's get back to the point.

Onceler: I think the Onceler is dead.

All: THE ONCELER IS DEAD!

Jack: HORNER I WILL HEAL YOU

Onceler: Oh, Seriously!? WHO KILLED ONCELER

Sans: It was me! *drinking Ketchup*

All: *Gasp*

Sans: YES! *drinks more ketchup* I did it like this. *gaster blaster Alastor* Woop dee doo!

All: *distraught*

Sans: That was a joke, lads.

All: *laughs*

Sans: It was... yo...*burps* Him

Turbo: *gasp* How did you know?

Sans: I didn't. That was a joke too. *is drinking more*

Turbo: *evilly laughing*

Sans: Oh I'm ded

Turbo: HAHAHA. THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS ME!

Wally: You monster!

Onceler: But whyyyy

Turbo: Cuz you're thin Boi. And another thing, you're tall.

*They both argue*

Wally: *looks at the Audience, shrugs*

[It's Tradition]

Onceler: TURBO!

Turbo: AH DAMNIT ONCELER, FUCK OFF! You are dead!

Onceler: No you. Pow *kills Turbo* Haha. YOU ARE DEAD. Not big surprise.

Wally: Well that was idiotic. Off to go back to home. Watch and learn *gets dragged back into home*

Onceler: I AM ALIVE! is nice... yes this is stupid.