#oh my god. i'm a meathead.

[willowser]

the thing about bakugou and attraction is that he's not shallow and i don't think he has a type. like, he considers the value people have—who they are, what their strengths are, their passions, their goals, their mindset—and i think those are the most defining factors for him when it comes to 'liking' someone.

and yeah, he's a man. he has initial and instant attractions to people. but i think they're fleeting and go as quick as they come. so i think he doesn't pay much attention to physical appearance, per se, when it comes to deciding who he wants to give his time to.

but—when he does decide that you are the person he wants to give his time to, everything about you is suddenly so attractive.

[nabitsun]

౨ৎ SPINE BREAKER

fem! reader x nerdy! choso

᭝ synopsis : who knew you just needed good dick from a nerdy boy to lose that attitude.

᭝ tags: smut & little angst? uni (both in their 20s), reader is kind of a minx but you'll pick that up.. (well, all reader's friends are) porn w plot would've guessed, oral sex (f), pussyjob, unprotected (pull out game 10/10), uhh sweet choso duh <3

᭝ wc: 11.5k ...

᭝ notes: t'was supposed to be a one-scene typa oneshot but got carried away - blame it on nerdy! choso. (i remixed that shit 4 times)

"shoko.."

"what is it?"

"no need to put these under my nose i've told you, i'm not coming." you slap her hand away gently, she's holding two entries for a random party in town.

"oh but you will." she smiles.

you know you will, you always do.

"c'mon i have two entries? i can't waste them."

"exactly, ask yuki to come with you."

"she also bought two entries, she's already coming with someone else."

you give her a quizzical look,

"i don't know any better, she didn't say."

"she's probably inviting aoi over again, God.. another reason to not come.." you shake your head at the sole thought of the man.

"who's that?" she says, switching up outfits in front of her as she ponders in front of the mirror.

"y'know that meathead eccentric guy who's like, super fan of her,"

"ohh, that one.." she hums in thoughts "mh, i doubt it though. the last time he was here, he didn't leave with that same smug face. if he keeps getting into trouble the way he does, I doubt she'll invite him back."

she's referring to the last time yuki invited aoi to one of these parties, not to sugarcoat anything but he definitely learnt the hard way to not be an arrogant show off.

"i hope not." you mumble

"stop trying to find excuses. you're coming with me, we're gonna have a good time, end of story."

you let out a crude laugh, "let me rephrase. you're gonna have a good time, and i am gonna get bored out of my mind." you can see her roll her eyes, "i don't even see the point of going there."

"because you don't try to have fun."

"if trying to have fun implies rubbing myself on some smelly drunk strangers with shitty ass songs in the background, then yeah i'd rather not try."

"you're no fun, it's not that bad."

"it's not that bad until you reach your fifth drink" you quick back as you cross your arms over your chest as if to withdraw from this endless battle that you know, will defeat you.

"aren't you being a little dramatic, now?" shoko barely looks at you with raised eyebrows. she knows as well as you do that beyond her tolerance limit she's no longer controllable, which is why you've spent many nights taking her home and trying - as best you could - to bring her back safe and sound. she won't admit it though.

you dismiss the (probably) rhetoric question, "since yuki's coming, why do you want me to go so bad?"

"what a silly question." she sighs as if she'd heard a child say the most gullible nonsense, "i like having you around, that is all."

"something is tellin' me you don't wanna end up third wheeling," you sing song.

"shut up.. you're coming anyway." she avoids your stare and lets out a heavy sigh, "you like the blue one?" she twirls the dress on its hanger around and turn over to face you, she tilts her head on the side as if to weight your future answer.

"i like the purple better."

"that's what i was thinking.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

being confided in the car with a loquacious shoko didn't help the growing headache you felt in the back of your skull. it had been a tough week.

your exams were approximately in a week and just thinking about it actively made your head hurt even more, and your throat tightened with culpability.

"hey, don't die on me now." shoko glares at you from the side as she's driving to the house. you feel her checking you multiple times.

"i'm fine," you sigh, rubbing your temples in an attempt to soothes the growing pain – that eventually worsened when shoko suddenly hit the brakes, a bit too abruptly to your liking, at a stop sign.

"girl, you either need a good night sleep or some good dick." she clicks her tongue, "look at you," she emphasizes by shaking her head as if the sole sight was too much for her.

"focus on not getting us crashed already."

"i'm serious though, you want some water?"

"no–no, i told you i'm okay." you look ahead of you, resting your head against the headrest for some support ; flashes of cars and traffic lights interacting in the night, "you drive like shit though."

"wow. okay, you'll show me how much of a good driver you are when you'll drive me back tonight, yeah?" she chuckles, taking a second turn on a new avenue.

"having you drunk in the back of the car is a constant fight of trying to not make you throw everything up, of course i have to drive nicely."

you see your friend nodding as she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, apparently at loss of words.

"mhm, thanks?"

you relax back with a content smile, "i prefer that,"

the house is not so far from your respective apartments, also not far from your university, which is around a fifteen minutes drive.

you can't really be mad at shoko for dragging you to those places ; the kind of places where she often ends up with a grain of lucidity to keep her half upright, while all the rest of her cognition makes her look like a psychotic out of an asylum. and even though you're practically always the one driving her back to her place, it doesn't exclude the fact that you need this sometimes.

despite your complaints of not wanting to go with her – for various reasons that you listed prior, but also because of your upcoming exams that are sucking the energy directly out of you – you still kind of look forward to the evening, if you're being honest. it gives you the opportunity to sit back and suspend the course of time for an evening, as ephemeral as it is.

the car stops at a red light as you think back to shoko's words, back in her room.

"yuki still didn't tell you about her special guest ?" you mindlessly ask as you fix your makeup by looking in the mirror of the sunshade, curling your eyelashes with the edge of your index to fix them.

"nope, i might have an idea though.." she pauses, you don't say anything as you wait for her to continue, "you know that guy she hangs out with sometimes? she's not like always with him but i don't think she'd invite anyone else, knowing her.."

"what guy?" you frown, you close the sunshade to look at her.

"uhh, black hair, pale skin, really quiet too. one of those snobs who behaves like termites by staying in their hole, you know. i don't even think i've ever talked to him, or seen him talk for that matter." she squints her eyes to reminisce old memories but the sudden shift of color on the traffic lights makes her focus back on the road.

"like what? a sorta depressed emo boy or something?" you scoff.

she laughs, out of mockery for your credulity it seems, "pretty close. but he's really.. the nerdy type y'know? the type to sit there and not say a word unless spoken to about some stupid nerdy shit, i guess."

"as long as he doesn't talk about fuckin' uni or something like that tonight, i'm good." you sigh at the thought as you close your eyes, clearly ignoring the silent warnings in her eyes.

"oh girl, you're such a fucking minx."

you ignore her offense when you continue your interview, "why would she invite him though? i mean why would he even come?"

"why did you?"

you keep silent.

"exactly," she states, "now keep your curiosity to yourself, you're about to find out."

after a few bends leading to the far end of town, you then remark the students crowding the lawn, stepping everywhere as some of them walk to the entry of the house.

no wonder you had to pay entries to get to some crackhead student party – you understood when you saw the size of the house and how many people there was. you silently hoped there was no one around as they would probably spend one hell of a night.

"not too far, i don't wanna have to carry you fifty meters tonight." you warn as shoko tries to find a good parking spot.

she sends you a hard glare and mumbles something inaudible that almost sounds like an insult. she seems to comply anyways as she parks not to far from the entry.

you were met with fresh air as you stepped outside the car, the extremities of your skin growing cold as well as your bare legs barely warming up with the strides you were taking. it was only eight in the afternoon and yet, you already saw wobbly people trying to walk their way out of the house. the two of you approach the path leading to the house, hearing the music as it gradually intensifies.

"there," shoko throws the car keys to you as you catch them hardly in your hands, "in case i lose them during the evening, you're in charge." you don't say anything, you'll have to drive back home anyways.

the calm atmosphere of an april evening was replaced without much transition as you walked past the open doors. the lights of the traffic lights now seemed far less stimulating in comparison to the sight in front of you. and paradoxically, your headache had disappeared, making you guess it was indeed, shoko's driving.

shoko turned around and took your hand to lead you through the numerous ponds of people hovering the place, talking, singing, dancing or even making out grossly. your steps grew heavier – whether from the combined heat of everyone weighing down on you or the vibrations of the boosted bass – it felt as if you were clearly reaching the pit of hell, both physically and symbolically.

and you could feel that with every steps forward, requiring the unsolicited touch of people brushing past you. the odors coming on play for less than a few seconds to merge with your own scent, just to disappear as soon as it entered past your nostrils. the lights changing from blue to purple to pink or even red, reflecting on the few skin shoko was showing with her slip dress as she was leading the way.

to say you were getting overstimulated was understandable. it was like getting thrown into a pit with only hungry lions to face; and with that dramatic metaphor you noted that the first lion you'd have to fight tonight, was the woman in front of you.

once you both reached what seemed to be the main saloon – though it was hard to decipher with the ton of people and the lack of furniture, beside some occupied couches. you didn't even know who was hosting the party to be fair, it seemed to change every other week like some sort of competition of who's gonna have the privilege to clean the big mess next morning – although you'd guess they probably have someone to do just that.

you were so focused on the environment you didn't even see the golden shadow passing by when a pair of fingers snapped you out of your illusion.

"you look like it's your first time at the zoo."

by the tone and voice you wouldn't even need to turn around. yuki looks at you with crossed arms in a sleeveless black turtleneck and flare jeans with a hint of a smile – out of friendliness or amusement, you didn't know.

"definitely feels like it," you smile back as you reach out to embrace her, which she welcomes.

"i see, shoko brought you here just to be her cab home then hm?" she tilts her head ignoring the way shoko snapped her head in her direction.

"hey don't say that! i wanted her company t–"

she gets interrupted by a loud noise, not seemingly coming from the music but by someone who just seemed to crash down on a wooden coffee table – one of the furniture you had such a hard time to see apparently because some people decided to stand on it. both girls in front of you roll their eyes almost in sync.

"well, looks like the alcohol's kicking in. you're coming with me?" yuki addresses to shoko and you.

"yeah i need to get something, i don't like how aware i am right now." shoko shakes her head in disapproval of the events.

the three of you approach the kitchen, where all the drinks stand upright and ready to use like weapons of war laid out on a table.

you don't venture into drink design, preferring to leave it to shoko or yuki, who apparently know best what they're doing since they're arguing over whether pineapple or cranberry would be more suitable to mix with vodka. once the ingredients are mixed, you all take a sip to mark the start of your evening.

"ew what the–" your body shudder lightly from disgust as you lower your hand over the counter, "tastes like piss seriously.." you whine and look at the wrongdoer.

"told you pineapple was a bad choice." yuki restates, but she's ignored by shoko, who takes the cup from your hand and pours the contents into her own cup.

"fuckin' alcoholic.." you breathe out in amusement.

"i paid for these, might as well make it worth my while." shoko rejoins and it makes you think..

"hey yuki, talking about entries, where's your guest?"

she takes another sip before answering through the music as she leans over, "he told me he wanted to use the bathroom, he went upstairs i think but.." she looks around, ".. i don't see him around, maybe he's stuck in there or something." she shrugs as if it were the most banal piece of information.

you naturally frown at the answer and at her lack of interest as to where her friend might be, so does shoko as she flicks yuki's forehead – earning an annoyed grunt from her victim.

"you can talk about me, you don't even care about your friend."

"he's a dude girl, if he's staying up there there's a reason. i'm sure he's fine," she shrugs once again with round eyes devoid of any remorse.

as they continue to argue mindlessly you sneak your hand on the counter, gliding it across the surface to grab discreetly yuki's cup, probably much tastier with cranberry, and retrieve it back to walk away and leave them to their incessant vindictive promises.

you're sure when you come back they'll still be on their feet – at least you'd like to put this much faith in them – as you rush through agglutinated people to get past the stairs. you don't really know why you're going, maybe you could say he picked your interest ; the thought of a guy like him in the middle of the evening just reminds you of a lamb around a horde of wolves.

you take a couple more sips from your cup and climb the stairs, squeezing past a heated couple making out in the middle of it. you follow down the corridor to find a multitude of doors, and one at the end of it that would be the perfect prototype of the bathroom at the end of a corridor. once you reach it you lean in to rest your ear against the door, trying to gauge potential noises, but nothing.

you smooth your denim skirt down and readjust your purse on your shoulder. you knock once, then twice – over the music you're practically not able to hear your own knocking – until your press your fingers down on the locker slowly, peeking through the door but you're only welcomed with pitch black.

maybe he just got lost among people, or maybe he was one of the ones you saw vomiting their guts out outside – which is less probable, but not impossible. you don't really feel like acting like a detective and exploring every nook and cranny, for fear of also finding yourself in front of people fucking in one of the rooms, so you prefer to turn back on your heels, giving up on the mission you thought would spark up your evening a little bit.

but it doesn't really go as planned actually. as you walk back towards the stairs, you notice a door open ajar, as if to let in a trickle of air, so you don't pay it much attention, but it's only when you start to look away that you see the previously motionless shadow, move.

it's quite honest to think that it's the first effects of the alcohol that are starting to take effect, a blurry vision in addition to poor lighting – results are not promising. you pause in your steps once more, tightening your fingers around your cup as you tilt your head so that you can look through the doorway without acting too much like a voyeur.

that's when you see him. rather tall figure standing up with the major help of big boots, black trousers with a black shirt – or maybe the colors are tainted by the darkness of the room, barely lit up by an amber light. and you do notice the signature buns with a few strands falling on his forehead.

his movements are so ever delicate you're having a hard time to decipher if the stability of your vision is playing tricks on you, or if it's really the slowness of his movements. one of his hands reaches over the shelf, he grabs a book and opens it. so careless.

"didn't know you were also a creep." you open the door without warning, with your cup in a hand and it makes you think that you probably look like some drunken mess barging in a room.

he drops the book on the ground.

"fuck!" his panicked eyes dart to you, pretty purplish eyes, "i'm sorry— shit. i didn't mean to pry." he picks up the book from the ground, bending his knees to grab it softly.

"if anything, i was the one prying." you comment, entering the room. and.. oh? what a sight you're welcomed with. it's a crime to not have seen this man on campus before – or maybe that's his crime to decide to stay inside his room with such a pretty face. his eyebrows are still brought near the center of his forehead, a faint look of worry that doesn't seem to disperse as the seconds pass.

it's also shoko's crime not to have mentioned the few silver jewels adorning his lips and eyebrows, or the charcoal mark layered upon his nose and spread horizontally along the length, covering both cheeks. and maybe there's another crime to add to your list when his tired eyes look away from you, trying to find some sort of distraction, anywhere but on you.

"i wasn't doing anything, i swear." his voice is coated with the sweetest tones though it's deeper than you'd expected – such a contrast with his face.

"careful, there's no better way to appear guilty than with this sentence." and you swear you can see a light frown on his face. you take a couple more steps towards him, he stands still, the book still in his hand as it's closed and tightly wrapped around his fingers.

you reach for the book lazily, and you take good care to not try any brusque movements. it's like you're walking on thin ice and you just start to realize how quieter it got in the room, with the buzzing of music barely heard and a few people chanting way too far.

he doesn't even try to fight it, the book slips past his fingers easily as you grab it, "The Picture Of Dorian Gray". classic. he looks down at you silently, a bit too long as if he's realized something.

"are you planning to come down?"

he shoves his hands in his pockets, shifting part of his weight on one foot in a slightly awkward manner, "i don't really feel like it."

"why is that?" you put the book right in the empty space, where you guess it previously was, squished between the other books.

"i don't really enjoy.. this." he nods to the door.

"what do you enjoy then?"

he runs his tongue over his piercing, wetting his lips and smothering the silver ring with it in the process as he ponders, then locks eyes with you finally.

"not parties at least."

"mhm, i would've guessed."

the room was strangely not that big compared to the house, a very sober room that must have been for guests, at least no personal decorations were visible. you approached the window to watch the racket outside and you found yourself glad to be upstairs at the sight.

"yuki was getting worried though." you know it's not true, but you're trying your best, you really are.

he turns around to face you, still not moving an inch from his initial position though, "oh so you're one of yuki's friend? the one she said would come?"

"it depends on whether she talked about a little pain in the ass or a cheeky cynic."

"she used the term.. « bothersome minx », if i recall."

you chuckle softly and put your cup down on the windowsill, gliding it on the side as you turn to look at him. he eyes you up and down, tapping his fingers along his thighs and you're not sure if you are in good shape due to the previous consumption or if he's just being the analytical man he's known to be.

"what's your name?"

"choso."

"choso.." you introduce yourself as well, he repeats your name just the same, "wanna sneak out?"

"what do you mean? like right now?"

"yeah, why not? i mean you can stay in that room as long as you want but i doubt you'll have much fun." he turns his head to glance at the door lazily, gauging the proposal.

"what are we gonna do?"

"i don't know, we'll see." you shrug with a smile and you're not sure if playing the russian roulette with him is gonna get you anywhere but you're too interested to play it safe.

"hm, i want to be back for yuki though, she's gonna need a ride home."

"you will." you say simply, but choso raises his eyebrows, waiting for more based arguments rather than a simple affirmation. so you continue,

"we can just take the car, drive for a couple of minutes and you'll be back here before you even notice."

there's a few seconds of silence where you both look at each other, expecting an answer. he sighs, lowering his head and you think he's about to decline your invitation but..

"alright, but just for some time."

you can't help but grin widely, you eagerly dig in your purse for the car keys shoko gave you and take quick steps towards the exit. as you wait for him on the doorstep you see him take a few strides, but towards the windowsill where you previously were standing. he grabs the drink you left dismissively, his jacket on the bed, and throws your empty cup in the bin just in the corner of the room as he walks back towards you.

he smiles gently at you and closes the door behind the two of you.

you practically had to fight your way through the crowd waiting for you downstairs. you thought the hardest part would be getting through to the front door, but once outside you found yourself in a quandary as you had to tiptoe to avoid stepping on any garbage, sticky liquids or dead drunks on the lawn.

choso asked you if you were able to take the wheel, you told him yes, of course – you'd only had one drink that had barely shaken you. he insisted on driving anyway.

the place where you had him taken was one of the only ones not too far away that was still open at this hour; and especially one that didn't look like a crowded bar.

a small café-restaurant run by a woman who was far too old to still be on her feet serving until late at night – but she always did it with too much care that you always resigned yourself to going there, even if the prices were higher.

the car ride had been remotely silent, with only a few instructions as to the routes to take and choso asking you if you wanted to put the heat on.

you took your seats on the colorful banquettes, waiting for the woman to come and take your order. the contrast was quite ironic, seeing you and choso dressed for some fancy evening in a place that was very reminiscent of that kind of little retro restaurant in the 50s, with the famous jukebox playing ballads from Elvis Presley, and the endless greasy hot dogs displayed on the counter.

"didn't think you'd follow a stranger blindly,"

he rests his forearms on the table and bring his eyes back on you as they were occupied scanning the place, "you're no real stranger, you're yuki's friend after all."

"oh i'm sure you were the kinda kid to enter some random white van." you say, more to yourself though as you look at the menu briefly. he doesn't say anything in return, and you don't look up either to see if he's looking at you or not.

"tell me choso," his name is like the ring of a bell, his eyes widen just a little, "how come i've never seen you around? you're on campus right?"

"mhm, i guess," he opens his mouth as if to start a sentence but he soon renounces by closing it immediately, he reaches for his nape to massage it, "i guess i don't really hang out around campus."

"majoring in?"

"computer science."

you would have bet your entire fucking fortune on it. you let a smile slip through.

"um, you're friends with gojo satoru too, right?"

the question definitely surprises you, everyone knows who's satoru, and that's not to his advantage as he's more or so known for being one hell of a jerk. you nod and he takes a deep breath, one that speaks volumes.

"i know what he says about me, you know. i just don't want you to think i'm like that." he admits and the sight almost makes you frown, you don't know if it's pity or empathy but you shake the feeling away.

"what do you think he says about you?"

he pauses for a few seconds, he's quick to bring his hands around his ear piercing, fidgeting with them as he relaxes back against the banquette, he finally crosses his arms over his chest.

"they say things that aren't necessarily wrong but aren't totally true either."

when he says they, he's probably referring to shoko, or maybe suguru if you think about it, though he doesn't seem to care about people's business that much.

you'll blame choso's inability to communicate properly for his ambiguous answers and not because he's trying to pull a series of enigma right now.

"mhm, and don't you think i have a mind of my own?"

his eyes almost pop out of their sockets and he once again leans against the table, clearly not settled on how to sit still, "no–no i didn't mean to say that ! i'm sure you do," he says softly, yet still very much alarmed.

you almost regret your choice of words but he's so goddamn sweet it would be a shame not to tease him a little.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me." his fingers fidgets with the salt and pepper shaker in front him.

you know you're in no position to talk, you even feel embarrassed if you're being honest, as you were not just about an hour ago making fun of him in the car with shoko – that, he doesn't know.

the old woman comes back to take both your orders and it's as if the bubble you were both in had just burst, bringing you back to the café as the music gradually came back to your senses. choso orders a strawberry milkshake and you take a blueberry.

the way he talks is so sweet, it makes you physically wince, and let's not talk about the way he looks at the old woman like she was cotton candy to the eye. you think it's all an act he's about to drop when she leaves but, even when she returns behind the counter he returns his eyes on you with the same look ; heavy lids – that you don't know if they are the consequence of a long day or if they're always like that – with shades or purple circling them.

"you'll know that the only time I take satoru's opinion into account is when I have to make a choice for lunch. you're okay." you assure.

he nods slowly and you see his face soften at your reassuring words.

"i don't know why you hang out with them." he says and it's so faint you're not even sure if he mumbled to himself or if he actually talked to you.

you tilt your head on the side with a frown, "what do you mean?"

he takes some time to answer, to gather his words or because he's hesitant you don't really know.

"you were always so nice to me," but you're still puzzled so he continues, "back in high school, you weren't hanging out with this kind of people, y'know."

you don't even pay attention to the way he's not so subtly trying to bring your friends down, you readjust yourself in your seat, visibly confused.

"i don't.. i mean, we were in the same class?"

choso shrugs, not really phased to see you don't remember him at all, "you had a lot of friends. plus, i didn't have these two." he points his finger up to show his hair attached in two buns atop of his head as if it could be the sole reason of your memory lapse. silly.

"i like this look on you. you look nice with them." you say as you look at the hairstyle thoroughly. the praise seemed to have gotten to him because you can see a small smile on his lips as he looks around impatiently for the drinks to arrive – or maybe he just needed to lay his eyes somewhere else than on you.

the drinks arrive shortly after, not surprising due to the lack of customers as it's practically just the two of you there. you don't really say anything much, comfortable in the silence you're both in as you grab your order to taste them. you don't really want to continue the conversation about your friends right now, and choso seems to have dropped the idea of it too.

choso watches you as you lean in to wrap the straw around your lips, elbows on the table to support your body on top. he also watches the way the milkshake climbs up the straw to pour into your mouth, away from prying eyes.

"you want some?"

his blurred eyes meet yours.

"huh?"

you smirk, only because you're enjoying the look on his face and you want it to worsen. you straighten up properly, away from that damn straw and focus on choso, who grows a little embarrassed, somehow – you see it, he backs down a little just at the sight.

"i know what you want," you say, almost above a whisper, stirring the straw with painful slowness.

"you just gotta ask."

choso doesn't say anything. he doesn't really know what to say actually as he flicks his eyes between your eyes and your lips. he's panicked, that's one thing anyone could notice if only they had their attention on him.

"you want a taste, right?" you say with such a languid voice he has to look around to see if you're putting on a show for anyone around, in vain of any spectators. choso raises his eyebrows, devoid of any answers.

"my drink, you idiot."

such a fool, his pouding heart slows back down quietly into his chest and it shows by the prior rapid breaths that are replaced by long and painful sighs. and what a disguised curse to be around you. he doesn't even seem to notice the degrading name he got assigned, you're not even sure he's got to hear the short sentence correctly.

"um.. yeah, sure."

you glide the drink forward on the table until it reaches his fingers which firmly wrap around the glass – and if you were from the police you'd suspect it's to hide his shaking fingers. he puts his own lips where yours once were and begins to sip through the straw. he doesn't have to look up to see you watching intently, he can feel it.

"there you go, how is it?"

"s'good." he nods.

the aroma melts on his tongue, almost sugarcoating the strawberry he previously ingested and the sour taste of a little humiliation.

"i wonder what's going on in that little head of yours. you're so analytical with everything."

"you make me feel like I have to be."

a head tilt from you is all he needs to know he has to develop his thoughts.

"be aware of my surroundings."

your answer gets stuck in the back of your throat when you hear the buzzing of your phone in your purse, you dig it out : a call from shoko.

you excuse yourself and choso simply nods, you bring the phone to your ears and you soon regret the movement as dissonant noises come to deafen your drums – urging you to pull your phone away from your ear.

"h-hey!! where.." the sentence is cut by another voice, and maybe some screams, you don't really know. you squint your eyes as you try to decode the semblance of sentences thrown at you, you call shoko but she doesn't seem to be on the line although the call indicates two minutes past.

choso continues to sip on his milkshake and he looks just as confused as you are.

"where r'you–" you don't need to ask her if she's drunk or not, you can hear it through the slurring of her words. you don't answer her question though, you know it will cause more damage than anything to say you'd preferred to leave the party to go sip on some milkshake with a man you're supposed to despise more than anything.

after five minutes of negotiation, you finally find out what shoko wanted - simple curiosity as to where you were, but also a call for help with the disappearance of choso, who was supposedly trapped in the toilet, according to yuki. you promptly hang up and finish your milkshake in a one go.

"she's in trouble?" choso gauges your reaction and imitates you, putting away his own things as he puts his jacket on.

"she's about to be if we don't come pick her up now." you place you purse back on your shoulder as you draw enough of cash to cover the bill and tip, "c'mon, let's go."

choso wasn't so wrong in the end, since you both arrived in time to prevent a tragedy from happening, one more on the list that shoko may not remember - despite the scale of it. you and choso agreed to take back your possessions – in this case yuki and shoko, who seemed to be standing on their own two feet only by some celestial force.

no need to to depict the end of the night, it was always the same when you went out with shoko. though something – or rather someone – during evening had told you it wasn't going to be the same ; that your tranquility was long gone, that you had now committed, whether you'd like it or not apparently, to be a fucking babysitter.

and he was fast with it, he didn't wait a week or so, he didn't even try to make it natural. the day after the party, choso went straight to talk to you, and the boy didn't even care if you were with your group of friends, the same that vehemently talked shit behind his back.

he didn't even try to wipe that smile off of his face, nor to calm the rosy tint on his cheeks that left little room for other interpretations. he didn't even try to cover for you when he gave you change for the milkshake you'd paid for – and God he didn't seem to understand that if you'd paid him it didn't mean you particularly wanted to give him the impression he owed you anything in return.

he also didn't notice that you didn't appreciate his refund, that you would have preferred to send him off, but that under the pressure from satoru and shoko, who were only viciously agreeable to him, you had to accept his exchange with a big smile.

you really didn't know whether his behavior was of the order of undisputed innocence or whether it was a means of publicly humiliating you.

in any case, the incident didn't go away, not with satoru and shoko around the corner, who were both just explaining the situation to suguru in the middle of lunch in the refectory.

"she left yuki and i alone with a bunch of freaks," shoko declares through the clattering sounds of the cantine while pointing her fork on you as she explains the evening, once again.

"you didn't seem to mind when i pulled you away from one that you were trying to dissect open with a knife." you insist, once again.

you stir the fuming food and distribute it homogeneously over your plate to let it cool down, ignoring shoko's words as she continues the story.

"it's kinda funny that you spent the evening with a guy who's a carbon copy of the type you say you hate." suguru intervenes and you sigh at the snarky remark. satoru keeps chewing on his food carelessly, clearly enjoying the roast you're subject to.

you shake your head at the statement, "spending an evening with someone and actually enjoying the time spent is different."

"mhm, clearly if i hadn't called you you'd still be making out with him right now.." shoko mocks and you swear you can see satoru's lips twitch in amusement.

"we just talked !" you half whisper, half scream, letting your food drop into your plate, causing your friends to shush you.

"c'mon just say you like him, we'll still be friends y'know?" you look deadpan at satoru, a look that doesn't require any words.

"i mean everyone knew he had a crush on you in high school, it wouldn't be surprising if it was still the case." suguru shrugs, you don't know if if he's being honest this time or if it's another joke. you choose to believe the latter.

you shake your head and look around the cantine to ease your mind from your shit friends, which doesn't seem to be the thing to do as satoru adds another weight to your already heavy shoulders.

"what? looking for your new pet? homeboy is probably hiddin' in his room right now. i mean, when doesn't he?"

you breathe out tensely, butchering your food with your cutlery as you clearly picture some detailed ways you'd like to treat the man in front of you.

"fucking assholes.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

after what happened during the last couple of days you really tried taking measures. good measures. and it was kind of ironic how choso should've been the type to try and dodge any interaction with your friends, but now you were the one trying to sneak past him.

he was nice. you'll give him that.

but he was stupid. so fucking careless. and really naive because he surely did think an evening sipping on milkshake meant something along the lines of "will you marry me?"

anytime he spotted you in between classes he just had to walk in your direction. whether it was just small talk or not, he talked to you every. single. time.

but he was so nice. you couldn't just shove it in his face? could you? despite shoko's encouragement to drop him there's something that just.. didn't feel right. and may God forgive you, but you know this is certainly not the advent of your good morals.

though all of that clingy attitude really pissed you off, you did find yourself thinking about that evening and how Elvis Presley was so annoyingly being repeated in the background. how his eyes, despite their darkness and exhausted features, never ceased to display the most authentically pure emotions you've ever seen.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me."

you sigh, heavily. some conflicted parts of you wanted to know more, an evening wasn't enough to just send him off right away, right? who was he? who does he claim to be? and the fact that you don't remember him, no, you can't remember him doesn't help either to your curiosity. because you did search through your yearbooks and to see his face didn't help you bring back lost memories.

shit maybe you just need someone to ring some senses to you but you also don't want shoko nor satoru to do it, as much as you hate to think about it they'll taint your vision more than they'll clear it out. in some ways choso was right ; their judgment might have their part to play in the way you think. in some ways only.

or maybe you're trying to blame your friends for your shitty behavior which only makes you feel ten times worse. you let out a grunt as you get up from your chair, going to the library to study with a clouded mind wasn't a good idea and even more at the end of the day.

failing to have a cigarette you can borrow from shoko right now, you choose to take a walk around campus. it's not the best sight but the air is far more fresh outside.

oh and how ironic was it when your feet led you upstairs to the dorms. it's not like you even planned your itinerary, it was like second nature to you, plus the air definitively felt a lot more breathable.

out of all the rumors you've heard, you knew at least one was true : choso was an orphan ; he stayed in the dorms right above the college structure.

and how absurd that was when you feet planted right outside his doorway – you can say thank you to the floor tenant files that didn't seem to care about the resident's personal information.

the thing missing though is your speech. you didn't have anything in mind. fuck what are you thinking? you're not even sure you'd want to see him at all, despite your evident location. before you could produce another stupid thought your fist met the door to knock twice.

it was about six seconds of wait that felt like half a minute as you just stood there outside. the door opened slightly ajar, and it reminded you of the first time – well not counting high school – that you saw him.

long strands of black hair dangled in front of the doorway before he stepped closer to fill the gap with his width. of course his eyes widened. they always do when they meet yours.

"oh, hey," he quickly looked over his shoulder, behind him and lowered his eyes to take a look at himself.

it was an agreeable sight, you will not deny. his hair were hanging loose at shoulder length, wearing only an oversized white t-shirt (was it oversized or just his actual stature ?) and gray sweatpants. you almost felt like diverting your eyes away as if you were prying on something you shouldn't see.

"hey."

silence.

"are you okay?" he stays still, swiping his tongue inside his lower lip while playing with his ring piercing you presume ; a habit of his you've noticed. you don’t really know if he's asking to be polite or if you genuinely look like you need help.

"mhm," you nod, "can i come in?"

"uhh, yeah" he takes another look behind him and you're starting to think maybe you came at the wrong time. "yeah, of course." he opens the door wider and steps aside, you enter and to your relief nothing crazy's going on.

the room is neatly organized to your surprise, not that you were imagining a slum, but you were expecting something more akin to the prototype of the homebody student. you avoid looking too much everywhere, you didn't come for that anyway.

choso retreats to his desk where he leans against it, his hands on the length of the edge to support his body.

"looks serious eh?" he escapes a small laugh, almost a scoff actually as he scratches his forearm and you suddenly want to leave the room because of how miserable you feel.

"we have to stop this.. thing here." you point to him then yourself.

you almost feel bad for him. almost, because of the way his hand previously on his other arm stops in the previous scratching motion, because of the way he only stares at you for a few solid seconds.

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean," you sigh "i don't even know why you suddenly want to talk to me anyway," you shake your head and look down. it's not even something you're blaming him for, you're really wondering why he'd want to talk to someone who plays on both sides with him.

"it's not.. that sudden. i've always wanted to talk to you." he tells you softly, "have i done something wrong?"

he's too nice with you it makes you audibly grunt.

"do you have a crush on me or something?"

silence again. a longer one this time. you didn't really mean to blurt it out like that, you'd envisioned something a little more subtle but frustration got the best of you.

his body shifts, his hands move closer to his body and he crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his biceps with his finger repeatedly. he stays silent.

"it's a yes or no question choso."

he pinches the bridge of his nose just where his mark is and breathes out a small "fuck".

"alright. it's ok if you don't wanna use your words, you certainly don't fail showing it to the whole fucking world anyway."

he takes a step forward rapidly, a single step but big enough to be closer to you nonetheless.

"i'm sorry, shit, i didn't know it would make you so upset. i'm sorry." he apologies. and you don't know if he realizes how upset he looks in the situation, he runs a hand through his hair in distress and you can see how agitated he is.

his face is right above yours, you don't really have to do anything but to look up to meet his panicked eyes. and it's a complete contrast how your eyebrows almost hurt from the frown while his face is contorted in worry.

and you'll blame your beating heart on your irritation and building up anger and definitely not because of his sole proximity. you try to commit to that thought at least.

"you're insufferable you know that?" you hug yourself as you readjust the strap of your purse on your shoulder.

he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek and looks away for a flitting second before bringing his eyes back on you, or your lips ; he's very indecisive poor boy doesn't know where to look when he has you this close to him.

"i.. i didn't know know how to tell you i'm sorry i just–"

"oh shut up,"

you practically throw yourself on him as it's the only way he'll eventually stop apologizing, one of your hands quickly wrap around his neck, to the base of his nape pulling him closer as your lips crash onto his. choso stumbles back at the contact and his hands reach instinctively on your waist for support, his body hits the desk where he stood prior and he escapes the faintest gasp at the harsh contact.

you wouldn't even have dreamed of doing this – fuck if shoko would come to know about this she'd probably laugh at you. but he's so gentle in his every moves, his every words, so naive about your motives it would be a damn shame if he knew what kind of crap person you really are. if the two of you really had to stop talking like you stated, your only wish would be to at least do this before.

choso's fingers grip more tightly on your waist, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your shirt practically playing with the hem of it. he pulls you closer and parts his lips to kiss you back avidly while your nails dig deeper around his nape at the feeling, before sliding them back along his jaw to orient his head at a better angle. you feel him exhale through his nose as you slow down your pace, slowly detaching your lips from his.

"y'taste good." he whispers against your lips, his forehead is practically touching yours and it's only now that you realize how much his features have changed within seconds. his eyes are blazed, breathless and fingers shaky around your waist. you'll blame the taste of your lips of the cherry gloss you're wearing – and he's wearing too now that his lips are shiny from it.

you're no better though, you swallow as you catch your breath, your heart is pounding in your chest so much you also hear it through the buzzing of your ears, coating the sounds around you.

"yeah? what is it, never kissed before?" you smile, you'll never get tired of teasing him, not when he always gives you the same look.

"not like that," he pants and smile back at you, a little smile that soon turns into a frown, "i.. shit, i wanna make you feel good. can i?" his voice is so low it makes your head spin.

"then do it," you kiss him once slowly and you feel him shudder at the new sensation, "make me feel good." you kiss him twice, even slower this time.

no need to say it twice for choso, if it's not you latching on him right now he definitely doesn't feel like backing down, he takes your answer for words and his hands find your cheeks instantly, cupping them as he puts a lot more pressure, making you step back. your hands lower down on his shoulders and your purse slip down your arm until it reaches the ground harshly ; not your priority number one right now.

he presses his body even closer to you and you don't need an explanatory drawing of what's happening down his pants as you feel his hard on pressed against you. you put your thigh forward, adding your own pressure against him and the moan that escapes his lips is enough to make your skin shiver and your panties tighter. much tighter.

still glued to each other, he guides you to his bed, just behind and it takes a couple steps back for your calves to hit the furniture, your body drops down the bed as you look up at him and you think he's about to slouch his own body on you, but he kneels down right before you instead.

you put your hands on the bed behind you to push yourself farther against the wall but to your – second – surprise he puts his hands flat on your knees.

"i need you right here," he soothes as he taps your knee lightly, making you stop in your movements. you don't know if he's about to do what you think he's about to do but your questions get quickly answered.

"can i?" he asks as he flicks his eyes onto your skirt, asking permission to touch it you guess. you nod eagerly and he leans back slightly to take your mary janes off instead, right foot, then to the left foot so ever carefully and putting them aside on the floor. you watch him and notice how steady and focused he looks despite his torso heaving up and down rapidly, you see it.

he straighten up on his knees and the sight has you gulping down, you're on his bed, he's on the ground just right in front of you, his eyes scan your face thoroughly you almost feel overwhelmed by it. your skirt gets pulled down easily, oh but so slowly, you prop yourself up on your elbows to make it easier for him.

"so pretty." he breathes out, he discards the piece of clothing on the floor and places both of his hands on your hips to bring your body closer to him as he easily glides you.

he leans in and his face is only inches away from your crotch, he glances at you before returning back on your clothed cunt. his thumb circles the hem of your panties as if he's admiring the sewing method and your breath hitches when his thumb drops a little lower, down where you clit hides beneath the fabrics.

"don't have all day, choso" you gulped, your hands bawl into tight fists in apprehension.

"okay–okay." he coos and immediately grant your wish ; he pulls your panties down and you're now bottom naked on his bed. it gives you a real reason to be embarrassed for sure because you didn't really "plan" on being that drenched from a single quick make out session. and the more he stares at your exposed cunt the more you grow impatient.

"choso.." you try to warn him but it comes out as a whine instead. he shifts as he gets closer to the edge of the bed, he wraps his hands under your legs to grab onto your thighs firmly.

"gonna make you feel good ok?"

"jus' do it–" you choke on your own words when you feel his tongue on you. a single lap and you're already panting in the room like a mad woman, "ffuck." you whine and your hand reaches immediately down to get a hold of something – his hair in this case which is being in his vision doesn't stop him nonetheless to complete his mission – as it's the only way you'd call it due to how devoted he looks between your legs.

he gives you a few more laps, down from your entrance to the very top on your clit, and he's diverse in his moves you'll give him that – he goes either way from the right side, then the left side, until he decides to flick his tongue against your pussy from side to side this time. you'd honestly thought the man would go down on you as his first time, his first experiment but it looks like you're the one experimenting for the first time his tongue skills – that, you don't miss to point out.

"shit- where the fuck did you learn to do that?" you pant, you push his hair back the best you can though it still falls atop of your pussy, giving you extra tingles on the way.

the sounds are purely gross, the room is nothing but a space for filth, hearing liquids collides whether it'd be his saliva on you or your slick on him. doesn't help from your restrained moans nor from his own whimpers that resonate lowly against your skin – it's almost as if he's being louder than you are.

he props your legs up onto his own shoulders when he leans down further into your pussy, getting better access while your thighs are in the air, tensing and quivering at each touch.

you start to seriously lose it when you feel pressure on your clit, getting even more stimulated your head starts to feel dizzy ; his thumb brushes against your folds to gather your juices before going up to your clit while his tongue starts to push down your entrance.

he mumbles something but you can't understand either from the pounding in your ears or because he factually has his mouth buried in your cunt.

"you feel so– fuck!" you almost cry out when he accelerates the pace on your clit "so fuckin' good shit," and before you get hold of the situation your muscles contract, your thighs wraps even tighter around choso and you're not really in the mindset to care if you're hurting him right now when you're nothing more than a trembling mess under him.

when you release the grip you have around his head with your legs, he slowly backs down and wipes under his chin with the back of his hand, breathing heavily as if he had just come flooding back from the water after a long dive. the sight has your brain rebooting from the start, simply short circuited.

"t'was okay?"

you almost feel indignation for his own self when you look at him in disbelief, "okay? thought i was losing my mind over there," you slowly sit up as you look at him with heavy lids. you probably look like you got run over.

"want me to get something to–"

he stops once he sees you getting your top over your shoulders, taking it off and throwing on the chair near his desk. you get closer to the edge of the bed, still sit up on it as you cage him between your legs since he's still kneeling on the ground.

"well.. i guess you have other plans..?" he murmurs under his breath, he doesn't even try to hide the fact he's staring, the man is practically glued to you like when kids stand too close to a tv.

"you're a perceptive one aren't you?" you leaned down to slip your fingers under his shirt, near his hips to take it off too, "unless you don't want to?" you whisper, stopping your movements to get his approval before starting anything but oh don't you dare take your hands off of him because he'll put them back on their original place.

"no–no, i do. i want you." his eyes meets yours and it's as if repentance was just knocking at your door and you don't know if you're willing to open the door because of how good he ate your pussy or because you really feel like you should do it.

"good."

you knew choso was introverted, a little shy even, the kind of men to be a little prudish even, the ones who'd rather stay indoors, the ones who's rather not get touched by anybody, even less when those places are under their clothes. you thought he was that kind of man when you'd first met him.

you got fooled. once when he mastered the technique of his tongue on you a few minutes ago that got your jaw dislocating in pleasure. but twice now that his shirt is past his torso, up to get through his head and you see yet another pair of silver jewelry. one on each of his nipples.

and your reaction is suited honestly, you just drop your arms and leave him struggling with the shirt on his own as his head is still tangled inside of it, you swear under your breath as you look at the two shiny buds. and maybe he did it as a distraction, getting two silvery eyes up his breast might be one hell of a surprise when you're trying to look at his whole torso ; but even in that case you wouldn't get why on earth you'd need to be distracted from his upper body, because what a fucking view.

once you see choso's head pop out of his t-shirt you're so turned on you're scared if you move you'll just leave the biggest pond of your slick on his covers ; you're feeling genuinely embarrassed to say the least.

"come here, get on your back." you tap on your left to show him the way on his own bed, he executes your demand without much more convincing. he lays down where his pillow rest, propping his head up a little as he still supports his body on his forearms, watching you.

which is not such a bad thing as it gets his whole upper body tensing up from the position, and you realize you got fooled thrice because of how defined his body is, muscles tracing his skin in the prettiest way.

you crawl closer to him and take his sweatpants off, throwing them along with the other remaining of clothes on the ground.

you straddle choso, only in his boxers now and he's always on the lookout for your next move, eyes traveling along every part of your body standing so close to him. you lean in to kiss him again, a simple kiss this time, not heated, nor passionate as you'd intended earlier, almost too intimate to your liking. you feel him relax under you, no, melt. he melts under your kiss, his back rests totally flat on his bed now and his hands travel along you jaw, touching you like porcelain if it were to break.

"it's only fair i return the favor, right?" you tell him as you lean near his ear, and if you chose to ignore the bulge in his underwear when you got him out off his pants you're certain you can't now. it's entirely poking through the fabrics to lean oh so perfectly against your entrance you have to fight back a moan just at the feeling. how embarrassing.

"fuck, please do." he moans, his hands get back on your hips slowly, pressing his fingers into your skin lightly. though you'd rather take some of your time, if you're in this might as well do it right.

you kiss your way down his body, from his lips, to his jaw, on his neck a few times — just because you love watching his adam's apple bobble up every time he gulps when you touch him — near his collarbones, on his torso and why not on the twins piercings he's got on it too.

at the contact of your tongue swirling around his nipples choso instantly throws his head back on his pillow, earning a deep breath from him along with a "fuckk" he couldn't bite back. at the same time your hips start to grind, slowly, cautiously, you wouldn't want to get off on his boxers now would you?

your hands reach down his boxers, under it to grab his dick but... maybe you got fooled fourth time. or maybe the saying is right, the quietest got the biggest and he's a living proof of the statement, you can attest. you break the contact on his sensitive buds and sit up correctly to look at it lay flat on his stomach, curved and strained in its own blood flow. you really have to close your mouth to not drool on it directly and you mumble something unintelligible.

his hands rest on your thighs, they try to guide you forward, they really do and you let them. you bring your hips forward, pussy gliding – as it's the only way it would be described, you're soaked – on his dick, just slipping through your wet folds, enough to mold him on the way forward, then all the way back when you return to your position. you let your hands fall on his abs, you're not even tired, you just need the support right now or else you're afraid you'll just collapse right onto him.

"God, you feel so good," you whine, grinding slowly along his cock and you honestly don't know how he's handling it down there 'cause it feels too fucking good for you.

"n-need you right now," he painfully gulps, he looks at the friction with a frown and he lowers his head back on the pillow, "shit..." he whimpers, such a wobbly voice yet he's not even inside of you thus far. you don't know who's winning the embarrassing contest but he might win over you if you keep giving him good pussy.

"so sweet. you're too fuckin' sweet y'know that?" you praise and choso's hands come directly to grab at your tits, cupping the roundness of them with both hands as he massages them slowly, pinching your nipple between his index and his thumb.

you're done with being patient actually as it is your cue to wrap your fingers around the head of his cock. you brush your thumb over his tip and his whole body jerks off from the touch, you slide your whole hand down the base of it as you pull yourself up on your knees.

you thought you'd reached the epitome of pleasure when he was between your legs just now, and you don't know what other seventh heaven you landed on when he entered you, but it was just as similar.

the head of his cock has just slipped through and you're already full of it, full of him. and you have no doubt when you look at choso that he's feeling it too. you both moan at the new feeling, a feeling you were too puerile to treat with such disdain when you looked at him, a feeling you'd never come to know if he didn't slightly hurt your ego with his kindness.

"holy shit, so fucking tight f'me.." he purrs through the whole process, his hands help you go down, steadily and slowly at your pace when more than half of his cock has sunk into you. your legs shake slightly when you've reached the end, you start to bounce up and down lazily, hearing every gushing sounds of both of your slick as they disperse through your organs.

he can't help it, you don't know if it's because you've teased him so much pior that he can't hold it in anymore, but the grip on your hips gets tighter, the bouncing up and down his cock gets messier, and even though your thighs start to feel numb you soon understand that choso has your back. his hips starts to buck back into you to meet your hips halfway, skin to skin as they collide rapidly.

"f–fuck, choso, you're gonna make m–"

"i know, i know." he soothes, you lean into him, chest to chest as you put your hands on his shoulders. and you can't help but be extremely grateful right now as you're practically laying down on him, he's fucking right into you with the help of his hands pressing down your hips as he moans in your ears softly.

"wanna make this pretty pussy mine– fuck. wanna make you mine." he whimpers and you can hear the way his throat tightens that he's close. you wouldn't wanna lie saying you're not – to be honest you've been wanting to come as soon as you hoped on his thighs.

you don't know if it's the heat of the moment, because you're taking his dick so fucking perfectly inside of you that the thought of being with him doesn't really repulse you that much, for it actually seems pleasant enough to imagine it.

"fuck–fuck-i'm gonna cum!"

and you sincerely hope nobody is in their dorms right now because you're sure the whole floor knows what their nerdy resident is doing to some resentful student on campus. he's so vocal you wouldn't have it any other way, specially when every each one of his moans reach your cunt before your ears.

you feel your legs tremble and your nails dig deeper into his skin when you reach your second orgasm, and not one for the weak ones as your pussy clenches so tightly you think you're sucking choso's dick whole with the suction. your hips get pulled up on spot when choso releases his own shot in between your bodies, his dick springing out from where it was caged. you still tremble on him when he breathes heavily, coming down to his high.

you both stay silent for a couple of seconds and reality hits you back.

"you're too good to me." he murmurs as he wipes some of the mascara under your eyes with his thumb, you head is still near the crook of his neck, you don't move.

oh only if he knew.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"can you believe nerdy boy got laid?"

you turn to shoko almost too rapidly, "what?"

"i know, who would do that.."

you don't say anything. you don't really wanna say anything for now, but you know shoko isn't saying that just to make the conversation when she waits for an answer. a valid one.

©nabitsun !

thank you for reading :D

[cairavende]

My wonderful girlfriend got me Gideon the Ninth for Christmas and I realized why should I just give Worm recaps? Let's read some Locked Tomb! (We'll see how this format works, maybe I'll adjust it. Specifically might break stuff down into smaller segments instead of full acts, but I didn't think of doing this until after I had read all of act 1.)

Gideon the Ninth Act 1 (chapter 1 through 8) thoughts:

This book is so gay oh my god

Like, it's gay in ways I can't even explain. I love it.

Harrow beats the shit out of Gideon in chapter 2 and I don't know if I've ever seen someone get beat up in a more gay way.

"Oh Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most of the time." ROLL A FUCKING DECEPTION CHECK HARROW! You are saying this standing in the middle of the field you spent all night burying bones in just to foil her escape in the most dramatic way. You can't stop remembering her.

Gideon is the most herbo of herbos. I fucking love her. I love reading her PoV. She just knows punch and stab with sword and if those don't work than she'll just do them harder.

Also Gideon is SO fucking gay. Dear god. Dulcinea faints and Gideon turns off all though. HELP PRETTY GIRL. Nothing else.

Ok I could just make this whole thing "EVERYTHING IS GAY" but there is technically more than that.

I love how weird everything is and how little explanation is given. I don't want pages of exposition, I want to learn the world as it comes at me! This is perfect.

And just the very nature of things that seem weird not being given more than a passing thought in the book is information. Something may seem wild to the reader but it's so normalized to the characters that they wouldn't even think about the idea of it being different.

Lack of explanation also helps really show how much of a meathead Gideon is. Do the readers get to learn details about this thing? Only if it is a weapon, has tits, or Gideon is forced to listen while Harrow explains it. Otherwise no, why the fuck would Gideon spend her precious few brain cells on thinking?

And even if Gideon is forced to listen as Harrow explains it, the readers might not learn much cause Gideon might stop listening. I love her.

Aiglamene is wonderful. Crux is fine but I like her more.

Poor Gideon just wants a big sword that she can swing hard. It's not like she can't use a rapier. But why when she can go big sword?

SO MUCH CATHOLICISM

As someone who once was Catholic and then realized I was actually not a straight man, but instead a lesbian, I am in deep.

And the fucking slang used! Or whatever would be the right term. The shit they say! I love it. Just the weird sci-fi far future space necromancer universe and then suddenly "Are you asking me to . . . throw her a bone?", "Gideon had always known that this would be how she went: gangbanged to death by skeletons.", "Don’t hypothetically shove stuff up my butt again, it never does any good.", "Lo! A destructed ass.", "Well we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.", "Double Bones with Doctor Skelebone."

House of the First appears to be Earth. I kinda assume the House of the Ninth is Pluto, even though things obviously aren't in order given that the Seventh and Sixth are closer to the sun. Of course, I'm kinda expecting this to not technically be this solar system at all.

Undying Emperor, King of Resurrection, I Have Ten-Thousand Titles, Boss First, etc etc hasn't been on "Earth" in over nine thousand years. I wanna know MORE.

And the fucking Ninth House has their own prayer! Everyone else has one that the Ninth didn't know and then the Ninth had one that no one else knows! GIMME MORE!!!!

Also again, so many Catholicism metaphors or comparisons or whatever!

I could go on forever but gonna end this one with OH MY GOD SHE FOUND SUNGLASSES I LOVE HER. Fucking "I came prepared, my sweet." and "But then you couldn't have admired . . . these!" as she whips on the sunglasses. God. I nearly died.

[celaenaeiln]

it is in my humble opinion that in a demigod child situation, Dick Grayson would be either a child of Ares, Athena, or Aphrodite. Athena and Aphrodite are pretty obvious, he's smart and he's charming and he's bloody terrifying. but Ares. Oh Boy Do I Love That Guy and here is why.

modern media portrays Ares as a misogynistic asshole. this is just untrue. Ares is the only male Olympian without a history of SA and in fact adores & respects women. he is the father of the Amazons and has the title "the god feasted by women" Dick Grayson (apparently) is perceived as a womanizer and cheater. That Is Not True At All. he loves and respects women.

Ares is often portrayed as being a force of nature, uncaring of the law. that is also false. he's also the god of rebellion and civil order, an ally of Themis, the goddess of justice Dick Grayson, yes he can be a feral little shite (and i say this with full adoration), he's still a police and stands for the people, he brings justice in both his day and night job

there's a common conception that Ares is a meatheaded guy who only likes war and violence. once again, untrue. you need strategy for war, Ares simply represents the brutal aspects of war but he's still a smart guy as seen with the Romans adopting Ares into Mars. not to mention, Ares understands that in war there are winners and losers Dick Grayson is often seen as ditzy or less smart than his siblings (especially Tim) when in reality he's a very capable and smart guy who understands that loss happens at times

Ares cares about his family, especially his mother. when two giants threatened his mother, Hera, he was the first to fight for her. i don't need to talk about how much Dick cares for his family right? i'll admit though, this point is less polished than the rest

as much as i love the PJO series, i HATE their characterization of Ares being a crappy dad. the reality is that he disobeyed Zeus to avenge his children in the Trojan War. he committed murder and was sentenced to trial for his daughter. The Amazonian Warriors. he may not be the best at affection but he's a caring dad Dick Grayson is not the perfect brother/mentor/father figure but he's trying and doing his best goddamnit. i'm sick of people saying he's not

anger is an essential part to Ares. anger is an essential part to Dick Grayson

there's a common portrayal of Ares and Aphrodite where Ares treats Aphrodite like shite. let's be honest, the goddess of love (a war goddess, by the way if you look up Aphrodite Areia) would not let herself be treated poorly. my personal belief on why this portrayal exists lies with the whole Hephaestus debacle in which i believe Hephaestus was the crap guy here but that's another topic i'd discuss with another shot I Do Not Care What You Say, Starfire and Nightwing Are Not The Shitty Relationship You Think They Are

in (i think) two different stories, it's shown that Ares can dance. it makes sense. footwork is important in battle. footwork is important in acrobatics. Dick Grayson knows what he's doing

in many myths, Ares is treated like crap by his siblings and although this is another half baked point, i feel like it's a bit common for Dick Grayson to be treated like crap by his loved ones

i love Ares and i love Dick Grayson and sadly they both have poor representation in mass media. thank you for listening, i am so fucking tipsy (maybe drunk actually) right now.

damn.

[n3ptoonz]

mk1 dialogues with the outworld guys!

a/n: only some characters will have flirtatious lines, while others i can't stand so they WILL get made fun of (i'm looking at you shao.)

i get reiko has fans, so i pander A LIL BIT🙄i can't with havik tho im sorry i didn't grow up w his character so 🧍🏾‍♀️

for syzoth reader is a demon that can shapeshift cause he clearly got a type (ashrah is so freaking pretty)

enjoy ;p

Rain

you: i like wizards

rain: i don't like being called a "wizard"

rain: you couldn't handle the son of a god.

you: if you mean in a fight, probably not, otherwise, absolutely

you: i don't mind getting a little wet from rain

rain: you earthrealmers sure are painstakingly persistent.

rain: i would never court a commoner.

you: you won't be saying that after this match, i guarantee it (wink sound effect).

Reptile

syzoth: if you're from the netherrealm...do you work for quan chi?

you: when i was brain washed yes, now i am reformed and seek redemption

you: do not be afraid, i am kin to ashrah and share her ideologies

syzoth: never thought i would meet so many demons in this life

syzoth: you see what you like? i mean like you- see-

you: demon got your tongue?

you: i find you adorable in both forms, syzoth

syzoth: hey, that's my line!

Shang Tsung

shang tsung: how could I bring harm to such a fine specimen?

you: the same way i'm about to

you: stop flirting with me, sorcerer

shang tsung: not until you consider my offer of ruling the realms by my side

shang tsung: i wouldn't fight me if i were you, i could split your body into eighths

you: tough talk from a man with a silk press

you: you wanna kiss me so bad

shang tsung: kiss, kill, life is all about wonder

Reiko

reiko: you dare poke fun at the ways of an Outworld warrior?

you: uh, you should've seen how you looked shadow boxing at Raiden, I had to laugh

you: come here often?

reiko: wha- you came to my house!

reiko: you just won't quit, will you?

you: there's just something about meatheads that do the trick

you: kiss me, k-k-kiss me, infe-

reiko: it was ONE drunk night!

General Shao

you: just big and greedy

shao: careful, kung lao might overhear you.

shao: ha! you think your puny little self could win against me?

you: you were bested by a farm boy with a sleeper build. nothing about you scares me

you: reiko did not get his looks from his father

shao: soon you won't live long enough to compare!

shao: if i win, you serve as my consort

you: you actually have to have power first to have such imagination

Baraka

baraka: your flesh smells amazing.

you: thanks, new fragrance I made mys- oh you meant as food.

you: so like, does your mouth ever get dry?

baraka: that is the stupidest question i've ever been asked since my affliction

baraka: every day i wake up in aguish.

you: i asked you what time it was...

you: i would ask you to dinner, but you'd run straight for the civilians

baraka: i cannot help what i've become- wait, ask me to dinner?!

Havik

you: what in the actual fu-

havik: continue and you won't be having a mouth either!

havik: why are you looking at me like that?!

you: i'm trying to figure out just how the hell you and baraka pronounce your M's and P's

you: impressive you didn't die from getting a face full of lava

havik: it's probably the only thing liu kang did right!

havik: don't tell me to relax! i lost half my face!

you: hey, you could chill on the whole realm domination and killing a god thing, just saying

--

a/n: this was so hard to write omfg i don't even like half this list😭let me know if y'all want kameo dialogues either in comments or ask box

[consextualjane]

Come have a seat. There's some things we need to talk about. It's come to my attention that you've been having sex with your wife again. I know what you're going to say, and I just don't have the patience for it. I'm not in the mood for more excuses. We've been over this several times, and I think it's time that we finally got serious about you choosing me over her. I'll tell you why. 

I'm hotter than she is. It's a fact. I mean, just look at my big,  perfect tits in this shirt. Imagine having your cock between them. How good would it feel to have them squeezed together around your shaft, sliding them up and down, pleasuring you until you erupt all over them. Wouldn't it just be incredible to empty your balls all over them? No, that isn't going to happen. But just thinking about it makes you harder than your wife ever could, doesn't it? And my ass, don't even get me started. You'd worship my ass if I told you to. You'd bury your face in it and devour it. No, of course I won't let you. Don't even ask. 

She can't compete with me sexually. Do you know how good I look while I'm riding a big, thick cock? Well, no, you don't. No, I'm not going to ride yours. But god, my body looks so amazing when I'm getting stretched out by some meathead's massive member. I bite my lip and moan for him, and let him turn me into his little slut. I bend over for him and let him slap my ass and claim me as his. Whatever he wants. You'll never get to experience that. You probably won't even get to see it. But just think about it. Look how hard it's making you. Your wife can't do that for you, can she?

I know what you want. Your wife thinks you want more sex. She tries new things, maybe giving you more blowjobs, or dressing sexier, or losing weight. None of that is what you want, though. You want my perfect lips wrapped around your aching cock. You want to push yourself inside my tight, wet, little pussy and claim me as yours. You want to grab and squeeze and slap my slutty ass. You'll never get any of those things. You think maybe just watching me do these things with another man might be enough. If you could just see me making love to a big man's cock and balls with my mouth, that would satisfy you. You'll never get that either. The desire keeps you coming back. The agonizing need that stiffens your cock and oozes out the tip, that's what you really want. 

I'll never give it to you. That's right, never. Not once will I let you have me, or even let you watch someone else having me. Oh, I'll make you think I'm going to let you. I'll say something like "You know, since you've been so good, I think I changed my mind. I think I might just let you feel my mouth a little, as a reward." But then when the moment comes, and my mouth is inches from your cock, I'll leave you there, just like that with no release. I'll do this over and over again, giving you hope, then taking it away. And each time you'll think maybe this time will be different. It won't.

So it's time to commit. No more of these silly games of you pretending to still want your wife. You don't. You want me. You want me deciding what you want, telling you what turns you on, controlling your erections with just my words. You want me teasing you, relentlessly poisoning your mind and keeping you just on the edge. You want me torturing you, pretending I'm going to wrap my lips around you, and then laughing when I tell you that would never, ever happen. 

I want to hear you to say it. I want you to throw away your marriage vows, and pledge your loyalty to my round, perfect, juicy ass. Devote yourself to my exquisite breasts. Tell me I'm better than your wife. Admit that she can never satisfy you like I can. And promise me you'll never betray me again. 

Now I want to hear you say it to her. 

patreon.com/consext 💋

[dragoncarrion]

oh my god i'm finally done. Say hi to Gravitron, my giant centrifuge lady from some tf oc story i've been cooking up... Design notes and extras under the cut

YES I KNOW SHE LOOKS LIKE CYC. IDGAF!

VERY tall and strong, more than your average cybertronian. smiles.

currently works as a mechanic for her crew in the Concorde (huge spaceship/station)

doesn't have blasters, but does have a blade in each arm

the plating at her back is like extra kibble, can move or lie flat

the orange lines on her plating are her lights, meaning they can be turned of and just be like. non visible lol

was a while on earth for reasons she can't quite remember, thats where she got her idea for an alt mode

a bit mean spirited sometimes. think a meathead highschool jock in an american movie. that but a girl. despite this, she still cares deeply for the people around her and is usually quite friendly. kinda

speaking of which, while not a triple changer, she can modify her alt slightly: one is the regular closed centrifuge (more compact + smaller) and the other is a bigger open ride (she would be stretched out thin here, but could fit smaller bots). The first one can also work as a moving saw blade –see the chainsaw on her calfs and back) just crazy style thang

The reason for her alt mode is she simply enjoys torturing people like that she just finds it funny to spin them fast as fuck for hours 👇some sicko shit

[pigfacedbitch]

Dating Hort of Bloodbrook

summary : general headcanons of dating Hort while being the princess of Camelot.

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s involved : Hort x Reader, Sibling! Tedros x Reader

warning/s : discrimination against Nevers and Evers.

here is my masterlist!

Note : I know this is late but this has been on my unfinished works since the movie came out. I fell in love with Hort, he is so cute and loyal to Sophie 🥹. I haven't read the books but I might soon when I need to escape reality again.

You will likely be a year younger than Tedros.

Because of the heir and the spare™.

I know it sounds bad but some rulers actually do those.

Tedros is extremely overprotective over you, especially when Queen Guinevere ran away with Lancelot and King Arthur died.

He's like the typical older brother you see in movies; handsome, buff, (kind off) a meathead, and annoys you to know end.

Will also be the first one to come to your defense.

When you got to the School of Good, you were determined to destroy the image of being Tedros' little sister.

Which results to you preferring to be a hero in your own story than being a queen in someone else's.

As expected, you quickly became friends with Agatha.

Not afraid to stand up to those who think girls are inferior to boys.

While the other Evers found the Nevers horrible for being future villains, you have a neutral perspective towards them.

After all, the School of Good has many stuck up and vain students.

Meeting Hort was definitely a memory to remember. It was when Professor Dovey took the first years to the Wish Fish (Let's pretend Agatha didn't free them).

When you put your hand on the water and begin to think of a wish, you didn't feel the water swirling like Agatha told you she experienced,

Instead, it was hand that intertwines its finger with yours.

And it harshly pulled you down the water.

The girls' screams and the professor calling out your name in panic caught the boys and Tedros' attention, running to the 'rescue'.

Under the water, you see someone smiling at you, or at least that's what you hopes he's doing.

A Never named Hort, son of Captain Hook.

Tedros immediately pulled you out of the water, with Hort in tow.

The angry professor commands the nearby guards to bring him back to the School of Evil and how Lady Lesso will surely punish him.

"It seems like I'm your wish, my lady."

He expects you to be disgusted like the other Evers. To his surprise, you give him the sweetest smile he has ever seen in his life.

"That you are, Hort of Bloodbrook."

To say Hort is surprised was an understatement.

You didn't only smile at him but also knew his name.

Cupid's arrow struck him at that moment. His villainous smirk drops, staring at you with wide eyes as much as he could before they were out of sight.

Tedros, who saw the whole thing, was not pleased and gave you a warning on how Nevers can't be trusted.

After your encounter, Hort seeks you out more.

You didn't mind, he is an odd yet funny companion.

He also doesn't care for one's physical appearance like the girls do or how you're nothing but a pretty face with a royal title like most guys think.

He encourages you to be yourself, like Agatha does.

You two would get judgmental looks from both sides.

Sophie was pissed, not only because Hort was losing interest in her but being the princess of Camelot is everything she wants to be.

So is Tedros. And everyone else who sees you together.

Agatha is just worried and would remind you to keep your guard up.

But you enjoy each other's company, that's what matters.

Hort was in love with you the moment you met but it took you a longer time to realize your feelings for him.

You only told Agatha about it but Tedros overheard.

Believe me when I say that Tedros will demand you to be examined.

"She's not under any spells, my prince."

"Are you certain?"

"Oh my God, I love Hort and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Everyone in the hall heard you.

Silence before a giddy howl ensues.

Hort runs to you and gives the biggest hug you could ever receive.

Despite being initially embarrassed, you returned it.

Before he could kiss you like he always dreamed of, Tedros stops him.

He pulls out Excalibur and points its tip on Hort's neck. Your brother will mercilessly give the poor boy threats if he broke your heart or hurt you in any way. Agatha joined in without words, just sending a warning glare on his way.

Hort would be lowkey terrified but so happy at the same time.

I mean you love him back. He could take a fucking army if you command him to.

Lady Lesso and Professor Dovey would only look at each other in disbelief, worried for what happens next.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine- Disney Villain sidekicks assuring you that villain's crazy about you when they're distracted by their villainy for a long time.

"Listen to me, toots, Jafar's crazy aboutcha! And I'm not just saying that, really, I mean- I think he's stealin' your underwear. But not just that! I also think, if ya left him- we'd all be dead! Yeah! So come on, lets put a smile back on that dial, yeah? We cant have ya mopin' around... what no I don't care about you, you're the only one that gives me the good snacks!" - Iago

"Nooooo, hahaha, no no no, Hades isn't getting bored of you! Stop crying, stop crying!" "Yeah! No! He's just busy! Running the underworld is no piece of cake, you know?" "Uhuh, uhuh, uhuh- " "I'm sure, after things die down, he'll pop up right back here again and give ya a BIG kiss." "Absolutely! Now eat your dinner, Hades'll kill us if he finds out we came and didn't feed you like he told us!" "Ohhhhhhh... hey, Panic, maybe we shoulda just said THAT when they started crying." "Oh Gods." - Pain and Panic

"What- what's happening here?" "They're crying, Banzai, you moron! Whatdaya thinks happening??" "Well what am I supposed to do about it!?" "Comfort them!!" "Okay, yeah I get that, BUT HOW!?" 'Ugh, get outta my way. Hey Y/N, uh... Scar's just... pent up at the moment! He'll stop being a dick real soon!" "Well would look at that, Shenzi!- you made them worse!" "Well why don't you try, meathead!?" "Would you stop calling me names!?- " "Wait- hold on hold on- what's Ed doing?" "Wha?- " "Is he... is that a hug?" "Maybe???" "It seems like its workin', lets just back away... " - Shenzi, Banzai and Ed

"Oh, Y/N, the Prince is just... temperamental. You cant take it to heart! Lord knows I don't, and I have proper reason to!- No, no, no, not that you don't have good reason to be upset, that's not what I meant!! Oh dear, oh dear... Look, PJ does love you! He's just got a lot on his mind right now, what with Robin Hood making him look a fool, and all... Right? Right. Come along now, we'll have some sweets from the kitchen, would that cheer you up?" - Sir Hiss

"Come on, Y/N... Gaston's not trying to make you feel bad, he just doesn't notice! What? That's not better?? Okay- Uh... You know what always cheers me up when he's been a big old meanie?? I remember how great he is. Lets do it! Together! Okay- NOOO OOOONEEES- oh, they're not singing with me... uh... Uh uh uh- Heyy, why dont you stare into the fire a while?, it helps when Gaston's in a funk or OH!- What about a foot massage? Gaston says I'm good at that!- " - LeFou

"Oh dear dear dear- The Captain isn't going to leave you, Y/N! He's just excited, is all! Thinks he's got a real shot at Pan this time, he does! Like a kid at Christmas! I'm sure, once he's done with the poor boy he'll run right back here and apologise- he really doesn't mean to be rude, you know!! He just forgets his head sometimes! Now sit down, sit down, I'll make you some tea and you'll feel good as new no time." - Mr Smee

They aren't great at it but they're trying XDD

(You've gotta try and imagine them in their voices XD Especially Iago and Smee)

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

For skzpack : Changbin how does it make you feel when minho call you his princess

"Considering we just talked about this-" Minho smirks, glancing to Changbin, who rolls his eyes good naturedly.

"Yeah, yeah." He waves Minho off and then sighs. "I definitely hated it at first."

Jisung cackles. "I seriously thought you were going to combust the moment he called you that in front of us for the first time."

"It was demeaning at the time, okay?" Changbin defends, glaring halfheartedly at the still giggling beta. "We were more enemies than lovers at that point, you know."

"Oh my god." Jeongin gasps, putting his hands to his mouth to cover the surprised oh as he stares at Changbin with wide eyes. "Who taught hyung fanfiction lingo? He's so knowledgeable now!"

Changbin rolls his eyes again. "Anyway." He clears his throat and starts again, shooting Jeongin a 'keep quiet or else' look. "Hyung started calling me that at the cabin the weekend we were snowed in and (Y/N) got her surprise rut. And I literally loathed it, and him."

Minho raises a brow. "Did you though?"

"Yes." Chagnbin bites back, but then his expression softens slightly. "I wasn't in a place to be open to the possibility of liking it-or you-at the time."

"That's fair." Minho remarks, nodding now.

Changbin rakes a hand through his thick dark curls. "But, after things got settled and you and Jisung started to hang around more, and I wasn't so on edge, I guess I could see the-appeal."

"And what's the appeal?" Felix repeats softly, affectionately giving Changbin a little moral support to keep talking with a soft smile.

The alpha shrugs a little helplessly. "I don't really know how to put it into words? But like-" He lets out a long breath through his teeth, and bites his bottom lip in thought. "-my whole life, I've been seen as a stereotypical alpha type right? Gym bro, meathead, big and strong and scary. A top, in all senses of the word-both primary and secondary. And the moment I let Minho in-really in-for the first time, I felt-I dunno-small? And cared for and like I didn't need to be the one in charge for once. Like he would take care of me, because he saw me as something different-someone worthy of being dominated and then put back together again."

You nod, giving him a small smile. "I totally get that. Kink is awesome, for a lot of reasons, but mainly for the fact that you can be anyone and anything you want. I'm a badass bitch, I'm an alpha, I'm independent and stubborn in my every day life, but in the bedroom, I'm able to submit and obey and have the choices and thinking taken away from me, and I need that, I crave it. It's the only place I feel completely safe to let someone else do it all for me."

Changbin clears his throat. "Exactly. Anyway." He glances to Minho, the corner of his mouth pulling upward now. "I guess what I'm saying is I don't totally hate the nickname anymore."

Minho grins, sharp and dangerous. "That's what I like to hear, princess, that's what I like to hear."

[tallulah477]

YESS loak who lives in his brothers shadows falling for the girl that was BETHROTHED to his brother (who has a nasty attitude and isnt well liked within her inner circles but her people loves her bc shes nice to them only in her own ways lol) is a level of angst that is so hot

like loaks reaction when neteyam confided in him telling him hes gonna run away with his maid/childhood friend and loak is like ???? youre going to run away from your duties? and neteyam is just like yeah i love my beloved more than aristocracy lifestyle

few months have passed since then and now jake is stressed out from all of this - his oldest son is missing and no one knows where he or his maid is (except loak who he sends letters too from time to time)

and like u said he NEVER thought he would be the next king he had his whole life plan out, train the knights for his brothers army, date some girl who isnt ultra famous and wealthy but in the middle and settle down and pop out a few kids and now his whole world is turned around because he now has to fill in his brothers (complicated) shoes and hes realizing how intense this was all for neteyam and hes has to learn it pronto

but omg poor princess??? the man she was supposed to marry since she was practically born, has been told from a young age she was going to be prettiest wife to neteyam and then he goes into hiding for some maid ??? that would break her ego so bad, and now she has to marry the brother who all he does is play knight oh its so bad for her

but as they hang out they slowly (so slow neteyam would have his first baby by then lmfao) they slowly begin to become friendish - princess finds it hard because her attitude is the worse and she cant accept the fact that she likes someone who all he wanted to be was a trainor for the knights

and loak is trying to ignore that she was originally supposed to marry neteyam, he knows neteyam never liked her but it still fucks with him sometimes but he gets over it eventually

AND OMLLL princess!reader who goes to visit loak on the training grounds and shes definitely does not fit in bc shes hoping her custom made dress doesnt have mud on it as she tiptoes bc god its gross here and she asks the knights where loak and they guide her to where she is

cue her knocking on the door and opening it to see loaks back and oh my god his back is so hot its so broad and waist is so tiny and hes sweating n loak just turns around like what?? meanwhile her face is super red bc she didnt know he was that built underneath that hes leaner than the knights he trains who are meatheads but he was still so defined and the mixed metal necklaces he wore just compliments him so well and now shes needs to find her maid and ask her what are these feelings

— 🤍

Catch up on the story:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Extra: One | Two

CW:// Slight Mention of Pregnancy

Right?! She has such a "don't fuck with me, I'm not the one," attitude. She needs to be serious all the time, needs to always have her head on straight and can't make stupid mistakes because if she does, she loses all credibility. Sure, she's kind and looks out for her people, helping them and protecting them however she can, and her people see that and appreciate that - but she doesn't want to act like the emotionless bitch that she has to be. She wants to be happy, free to genuinely smile and feel what she feels, but she knows that if she shows even the hint of too much emotion, too much weakness, she's just going to be ripped apart.

And Lo'ak can understand that. He knows what it's like to not be able to be who you want to be. His whole life he's been compared to his perfect brother: Neteyam who is better at facilitating communication between neighboring kingdoms, Neteyam who speaks clearly and takes responsibility humbly when needed, Neteyam who's never had to be told not to slouch during court. He's been cast aside as the 'spare', but not invisible enough to not need to be on his game.

He can't joke around like he wants to, at least not without Jake and Neytiri hissing at him to behave. He can't go exploring, can't go out and see what far away lands have to offer because "your duties are here, son". So he found something that he enjoys, a way to get out all his pent up energy and aggression, and he's good at it. So good. He has a true gift for training the knights, getting them ready to battle and protect the kingdom, but even that's sometimes overshadowed by his brother - having to train Neteyam to fight, train Neteyam to be the best, even better than himself - to be worthy of the crown he would get one day.

Would have gotten. Because Neteyam is gone now. And somehow the responsibility, and all the duties that come with it, have fallen on Lo'ak's shoulders and now more than ever he feels he can't be himself.

He would understand how Princess feels . . . if he could get over his own bitterness.

Jake is freaking out - he's sent out a search party on multiple occasions looking for Neteyam and his runaway maid, but they can't find them. Neteyam is smart, building their cottage outside of the kingdom's boundaries, and the only person who knows the location of it is Lo'ak. Lo'ak is bitter, of course, and angry with his brother for what he's done to him. But he would never give up their location. He wants his brother to be happy, so he keeps the information to himself.

He appreciates the letters he gets from Neteyam though. They make him smile, to see that his brother is finally living the life he's always wanted: something calm and peaceful with the woman he loves. He's super giddy when he gets the letter that Neteyam and his wife are expecting their first child. He's going to be an uncle! And the news makes him so happy that he just can't help but smile all day, sneaking off to tell Kiri and Tuk the good news too, and Princess is just looking at him like he's crazy - "Why is he so smiley all of a sudden? What could he possibly be happy about?"

Their relationship is rocky at the start . . . and in the middle. At first, when she was still Neteyam's betrothed, Lo'ak thought she was a spoiled brat. And now that they're supposed to be together, they can't stand each other even more. But the more time they spend together, the more they can't help how their eyes start to trace the other's movements. Their ears seem to always latch on to the sound of the other's voice. Random thoughts popping into their heads about the other (how nice they look in their formal attire, how their eyes glimmer in the glow under the chandeliers) before they have to physically shake those thoughts out, annoyed that they were even there to begin with.

Lo'ak actually growls to himself when the thought of Princess, round and beautiful with their own future child, her fancy custom-made gown falling perfectly over the bump, pops into his head after he finds out Neteyam's expecting.

He's shaking a similar thought out of his head as he's undressing after a rather intense training session. The new knights he's training are annoying, young men who think they're so great and are flooded with undeserved confidence and it just makes Lo'ak want to rip his hair out. But he heard a couple of them whispering about how beautiful Princess is, and how they'd give anything for a night with her and Lo'ak can't seem to justify the dark feeling swirling around in his chest when he hears it.

He thinks it's one of them who slams the door open, come to annoy him even more with stupid questions or overconfident remarks, but instead it's her. The woman he can't seem to get out of his head. She's panting, face flushed with exertion from trying to walk through the mud coated ground. The bottom of her dress is covered with dark brown, once shiny heels now sticky and sinking into the ground. She always looks so put together and clean, so the ruined look throws him off a bit and he can't help but think that she looks beautiful like this too - all flushed and hair out of place from where she tossed it over her shoulder carelessly in her frustration just to get it out of her face. She's scowling, mouth opened ready to give him a few choice words no doubt, but her words die in her mouth when she sees him: topless, corded muscles and strong back on display, all glistening and sweaty and fuck - now she feels like she's starting to sweat.

She's never seen a male like this before. Never seen so much skin. And he turns around when she enters, surprised and the question "what are you doing here?" falling from his lips, but she doesn't answer. Can do nothing more than gape at him like a fish because now his broad chest is on display too, tapering down into a narrow waist. All he's got on is a pair of tight black pants and boots, and her eyes can't help but linger on the slight bulge she can see from where they hug him between his legs.

She feels hot all over, a tight ball forming in her stomach the longer she looks at him and it's only when she feels a strange wetness pooling between her own thighs that she snaps out of her trance. She turns and leaves without a word, running to her bedroom and immediately calling for her maid. If she ever had a best friend, it would be her maid - the person who has been there as her helper ever since she was a little girl. Her helper, her protector, her guide.

Her maid's eyes widen as they take in the look of her Princess's state - dress ruined and covered in mud, face hot and red with embarrassment and something else she can't quite place.

"I don't know what I'm doing!" the Princess cries. And her maid is there for her, to clean her up and wrap her in soft blankets, ready to hear what her Princess has to tell and give her the best advice she can.

[symphonic-scream]

Hello friends and fellow sufferers km bored so that means HC time

It's the P4 raising P5 au which I'm tagging under that name from now on I gave up on shortening it

Makoto took a long time to figure out zippers. So she'd be seen at school during recess running around with her coat open, claiming she wasn't cold. Haru eventually figures it out and until Makoto learns how, she does it for her

Kid fashion. Kid. Fashion. Ryuji with the plaid cargo shorts. The electric colours. Futaba with a shirt that says something cheesy about gaming. Haru with My Little Pony sneakers. Joker in little polo shirts with Featherman characters on them or something just. Yusuke with Lobster mittens. Ann with so many hair ties and GrL PowEr themed items. Makoto with the Buchimaru hat and backpack and belt and socks-

New Papa Naoto afraid to fall asleep with the baby because of the whole Rolling Over thing, so Rise constantly found him struggling to stay awake while little Makoto dozed off against his chest

Makoto's still afraid of the dark. So on stormy nights when her nightlight would lose power, she'd run into her parents' room and huddle between them. Rise would hum sleepily while finger combing through short brown hair, until the shaking stops, and Naoto would bundle his daughter against him, to hide her away from anything that could hurt her

God. They just. The little Shirogane family,,

Morgana is a normal cat in this, Akira finds him on the way home from school when he's like 10, so like about a year before Goro comes to Inaba, and Yu helps him convince Yosuke that they should keep him

Chie keeps bringing home the most mutt-ratchet fucking dogs. Yukiko can't say no when Ryuji and Ann team up with their Moma to convince her. At one point they have up to 4 mutt fucking dogs

Okay hear me out for this one. Ryuji and Makoto doin their usual thing, running around in the rain, before Makoto slips and it turns into shoving and muddy pushing on the ground

Ann, 12, sighs and shakes her head under the gazebo. "Ugh, those meatheads. At least Makoto's smart sometimes, right?"

"huh? Y-yeah, sure." And Haru, 13, averts her eyes because, something weird is happening in her chest. She's been feeling weird around her best friend, and it's worse when she smiles at her and holds her hand on their way to school. She looks up and, maybe it starts to click, watching Makoto laugh as Ryuji spits mud from his mouth.

Maybe, she's falling for Makoto?

On the other end of things, Makoto's kinda. Always known. Haru's been special to her for a while, there was no one moment. But she rambles to Ryuji about it, and to her Mama, and her Papa, even to Ann at some point. It's not as big a thing for her

They all eat lunch on the roof at Yasogami. Up there they can be as loud as they want, and no one really bothers them

Just. The older IT having monthly dinners together while Nanako agrees to watch the kids all together or something just. Laughing about the good old times, still together all those years later despite it all

And. Both Yoshizawa twins being alive. The crash injured both but they both made it.

OH. THERES ONE LITTLE GOOFY BIT I HAVE ITS

Futaba has a Minecraft girlfriend. It's Sumire. Neither of them know that they're friends irl it's. Supposed to be a little goofy haha thing

Oh. And the Thieves would all have different family names I don't think I mentioned which ones they'd all take

Like. Futaba Sakura, Yusuke Sakura, Goro Sakura

Haru Tatsumi, Makoto Shirogane, Akira Narukami

Ryuji Satonaka and Ann Satonaka

Yeah

[toxicanonymity]

i've just learnt about the existence of "coregasms" where you can cum from doing core exercises because of how it engages your pelvic muscles too.

so of course i immediately thought about our resident beefcake, corey💪💗 working out so hard that he cums in his pants. he doesn't even feel bad about it.

something to think about 👀😈

Oh God, yes. Corey is nothing if not unashamed to come in his pants. This is "peak" beefcake. 😏

COREGASM NSFW 18+

By the way, Corey wears eighties-style athletic shorts. Meaty thighs swelling out from under the contrast piping, farmer’s tan blazing, noticeable bulge, even flaccid. Caked-up AF. He used to work out at home in his briefs for so many years that he can’t bear the feeling of his legs covered up. He doesn’t like his muscles to feel restricted. He starts out wearing a t-shirt, but only until he soaks through it, then it comes right off. No sense in letting his nipples get chafed.

God help you if you see him working out. And if you catch a whiff of him, you're a goner.

He has so much pent up tension that he will pump iron until he can barely walk. And then he can finally relax.

So he racks up 100 kg and bench presses, stopping midway through to peel off his shirt. The expanse of his chest glistens every time he brings the bar down and sends it back up with a grunt. He does pull-ups until his broad shoulders and hulking back are shaking.

Then he moves to the floor to do core exercises.

He does a shit ton of situps, with his fingers lightly touching his drenched curly hair as his beastly upper body slingshots up to his knees over and over, making little rolls in his skin each time he folds at the hip. Sweat pours between his pecs.

He feels something building deep inside him, and he keeps going. He gets in a plank position, all that ass flexing on full display, triceps bulging and shaking. His abs are shaking, too. His pelvic muscles, already engaged, start compensating for his exhausted abs. A tingling warmth spreads through his whole lower body, and he's throbbing deep in his ass.

Corey shifts into a side plank and there's a tent in his shorts. The throbbing intensifies. His exhausted body is feeling so many things at once that he can hardly discern one sensation from another. So when his hard cock begins to twitch, it almost confuses him, but not enough to come down from his side plank. Certainly not enough to cover himself.

But then, the way his prostate explodes with such a rush into every inch of his body, he's flat on his back within seconds. His grunt echoes. His ass clenches and his hips shoot into the air as he comes harder than he's ever come before, writhing on the gym mat. The unfathomable load coats the inside of his shorts, and if they were cotton instead of mesh, a dark area would be spreading. Instead, his cum will probably trickle down between his thighs when he stands up.

He's in no hurry, though. When he's finally done, he just lies there catching his breath. Not hiding, not worried who might have seen. It doesn't even occur to him that if his shorts were sitting even a centimeter lower on his torso, the head of his cock might have slipped into his waistband. Cum could have gone all over his lower abs, making a sticky mess of his happy trail.

- - -

Amazing ask. Ty, Anon! ILYSM. SO honored 💞 .

The way my face lit up when I read this ask in the gym parking lot 🥹 then inside, I swear to god, a meathead was doing this absurd pelvic thrusting stretch, totally deadpan, bringing his elbows back each time! I accidentally made eye contact and fucking laughed.

I'm a little sorry if this answer was too ridiculous and obscene to be hot - I was dying when I re-read it, but you know, go big or go home. . . especially with our resident beefcake 💪💗

Bonus: these shorts are totally Corey's, ty @hersweetrevenge

Corey tag list: @ethanhoewke @kuromi2005 @rebel-blue @wolvesandvampires

[neurodiversebones]

what are some of ur favorite episodes, if you don't mind sharing? i'm in the mood for a rewatch but don't know where to start 😭

gonna do this by season !!! there are SOOO many that i adore lol

season one :

- 1×09 , man in the fallout shelter (MY COMFORT EPISODE OF ALL TIME my mom and i like to watch it together and i can recite parts of it from memory)

- 1×17 , the skull in the desert (for the brengela content mostly LMAO)

- 1×22 , the woman in limbo (BRENNAN ANGST !!)

season two :

- 2×03 , the boy in the shroud (MORE BRENNAN ANGST !! so much good brennan development + brennan/cam moments here)

- 2×08 , the woman in the sand (brennan hot im so gay)

- 2×09 , aliens in a spaceship (not a hot take this is everyones top 5 but <33 god its SO GOOD)

- 2×11 , judas on a pole (i love max keenan ....)

season three :

- 3×05 , the mummy in the maze (BRENNAN/CAM/ANGELA'S COSTUMES IM SOOO GAY .....)

- 3×09 , the santa in the slush (this is the first episode i remember watching when i was a kid + im a SUCKER for a christmas episode)

- 3×12 , the baby in the bough (ACCIDENTAL BABY ACQUISITION !! i have done 'dancing phalanges !!' to my nieces btw .)

- 3×13 , the verdict in the story (I LOVE MAX KEENAN)

season four (currently where i am in my rewatch) :

- 4×04 , the finger in the nest (RIPLEY BRENNAN IM SOBBING)

- 4×08 , the skull in the sculpture (idgaf abt the case but ANGELA GIRLKISSER)

- 4×12 , double trouble in the panhandle (CIRCUS BRENNAN !!)

- 4×14 , the hero in the hold (ghosts confirmed ?? b&b angst ??)

- 4×21 , mayhem on a cross (SWEETS ....)

- 4×22 , double death of the dearly departed (watched this ep after taking a 40mg+ edible . i had never been high before . insane experience .)

- 4×26 , the end in the beginning (AU EPISODE !! B&B KISSES !!)

season five :

- 5×10 , the goop on the girl (CHRISTMAS EPISODES !!!)

- 5×12 , the proof in the pudding (bones canonically solved jfk's murder and thats just . a thing .)

- 5×16 , the parts in the sum of the whole (i fucking love this episode its everything to me)

-5×17 , the death of the queen bee (I LOVE A GOOD HS REUNION TROPE)

- 5×21 , the boy with the answer (i love a courtroom drama episode)

season six :

- 6×03 , maggots in the meathead (ONE OF THE FUNNIEST EPISODES OF ALL TIME)

- 6×09 , doctor in the photo (god this episode is so sad but its SO good)

- 6×14 , the bikini in the soup (valentines ,,,, i LOVE holiday episodes guys)

- 6×16 , the blackout in the blizzard (I LOVE THIS EPISODE SM EVERY SECOND OF IT IS FANTASTIC AND ITS SO UNDERRATED)

- 6×21 , the signs in the silence (brennan w kids makes me emotional)

- 6×22 , the hole in the heart (oh yk . the agonies)

- 6×23 , the change in the game (hi its wanda im at the bowling alley . bowling . I'M PREGNANT, BOOTH . YOU'RE THE FATHER . THE ADELE FADE AT THE END . IM CRYING)

season seven :

- 7×06 , the crack in the code (BANGER setup to an arc i have complicated feelings abt . this ep has such a spooky vibe i love it)

- 7×07 , the prisoner in the pipe (BABY !!)

- 7×13 , the past in the present (THE END JUST MAKES ME SO SAD I LOVE THE ANGST)

season eight :

- 8×06 , the patriot in purgatory (i love having all the interns YIPPEE)

- 8×07 , the bod in the pod (im just here for camastoo . you are my carburator .)

- 8×14 , the doll in the derby (ANGELA ON ROLLERSKATES ....)

- 8×15 , the shot in the dark (ghosts are real part 4 . christine brennan triggers my mommy issues . i want her to hug me .)

- 8×23 , the pathos in the pathogens (ANOTHER TOP TIER FAV EPISODE THE ANGST IS SO GOOD)

season nine :

- 9×04 , the sense in the sacrifice (YIPPEE LOVE !! PELANT DEAD !!)

- 9×06 , the woman in white (brennans vows make me sob every time .)

- 9×10 , the mystery in the meat (COWGIRL BAR FIGHT IM SO <33)

- 9×11 , the spark in the park (brennan talking to the professor makes me SOB .)

- 9×24 , the recluse in the recliner (tbh i never understand the fbi conspiracy arc but this episode is crazy)

season ten :

- 10×02 , the lance to the heart (you put the lime in the coconut ....)

- 10×10 , the 200th in the 10th (INSANE OLD HOLLYWOOD AU ITS SO FUCKING FUN)

- 10×15 , the eye in the sky (booth angst booth angst)

season eleven :

- 11×09 , the cowboy in the contest (I LOVE UNDERCOVER I LOVE COSTUMES)

- 11×10 , the doom in the boom (HODGINS ANGST)

- 11×12 , the murder of the meninist ("we love going viral" "so do infectious diseases")

- 11×13 , the monster in the closet (PUPPETEER ARC !!!)

- 11×18 , the movie in the making (comfort episode I LOVE A MOCKUMENTARY AND ALSO THE CAMASTOO PROPOSAL)

- 11×22 , the nightmare within the nightmare (this episode scared me so bad bc i watched it at 4am 😭 THE FUCKING ZACK REVEAL IS CRAZY)

season twelve :

- 12×01 , the hope in the horror (I HATE THE DEMONIZATION OF DID ITS SO GROSS BUT I LOVE SEEING ZACK)

- 12×07 , the scare in the score (I CRIED SO BAD ....)

- 12×09 , the steal in the wheels (i giggled i <3 silly undercover time)

- 12×11 , the day in the life (CAMASTOO WEDDING IM SOBBINGGGG . ALSO THE END HOLY SHIT)

- 12×12 , the end in the end (i fucking wept . i love tge finale im so emotional abt it .)

[angy-mouse]

Obsession Part 2

I'm gonna be real, I'm not thrilled with either of these, but theyre very feel goody to write

part 1

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Dream let out a noise that can only be described as ‘God, strike me now’. “Just when I thought the crappy punch was the most disgusting thing here,” he snapped, throwing back the last of his beer in hopes of dulling his growing headache. 

George scoffed, downing a swig of his own drink and leaning back against the wall- entirely too close to Dream for his own liking, but he didn’t have much choice. Dream was here for the same reason he was: this was the best spot to watch you dance with your little dorm friends. “Insults? What are we, in middle school? You’re pathetic.”

“... You look good.”

George chuckled at the unspoken question. “Yeah, razor blades in the soap bar is such an amateur move, I almost felt bad for you.” Dream simply clicked his tongue. “Speaking of, I saw your car out front.”

“Neighbor asked how I found such a dedicated mechanic. You really couldn’t get in, cut my brakes, and get out without being seen? Sounds like you’re the amateur.”

“Are you kidding me? I scaled that fence in under ten seconds, easy. In and out in a minute, only thing I didn’t account for was you living next to a damn Karen.”

Dream peeled his eyes off you for the first time that night to raise an eyebrow. “How’d you get in the garage, anyway?”

George let out a snicker as he swirled his drink around in its plastic cup. “Oh, yeah, I had to break open the back window. Might wanna get that fixed, the frame cracked easier than an egg.” 

“You’re such a cocky little bastard. You really think my baby would like such a creep?”

“My darling told me herself how much she likes my ingenuity. What she’d never like is some meathead-”

“Oh, I’m a meathead, am I? Funny, ‘cause she was just telling me she loves my emotional intelligence.”

“Please, you wrote her a few frilly poems- that’s practically nothing compared to how much I’ve helped her with coursework.”

“You just can’t take a hint, can you? I feel bad for you, so I’ll tell you straight: she’s using you. She’d be stupid not to take advantage-”

George’s blade dug into Dream’s side, hidden from the horde of drunks by his sleeve. “Don’t you dare insult her!”

“-of a smarmy, pathetic-”

“Hey, knock it off!”

They both snapped to attention at your beautiful voice, filled with far more resentment than you’d ever used with them. There you were, as gorgeous as ever in your favorite dress, pushing away some drunk, insignificant, unworthy frat boy who dared to touch your perfect body.

“He’s mine,” Dream growled out without a second thought, seeing red as you (always too sweet, too kind) tried to push the insect away gently, only to have him push up against you again. He was already fantasizing about how satisfying it would be to feel the crack of bones under his hand, and how with each fracture he’d reiterate don’t touch what’s mine.

“I’ve got her.” George couldn’t believe how he could let this happen. He should have clocked the drunk as soon as he was within arm’s reach of you. He wanted to blame Dream for distracting him, maybe cut him up a bit to relieve some tension, but that was the easy way out. He should have been watching you, protecting you. This couldn’t happen again.

He came up behind you and wrapped long fingers around your wrist, spinning you to face him. “Hey, luv,” he chirped, covering up the choking sound as Dream wrapped his arm around the bastard’s neck and hauled him away the second your back was turned. 

“Georgie!” He nearly moaned as you wrapped your arms around him, stumbling in your heels and pressing against him for stability. “I didn’t know you were- oh, Georgie, this is-” You visibly blanked when you turned around and the man wasn’t there. “Where’d he go?”

“I think you’ve been drinking too much, darling,” George hummed into your ear, one hand on your waist to keep you steady and against him as the other plucked your cup out of your hand. He took a small, testing sip and felt his blood boil. “That cunt spiked it? He’s gonna fucking wish we turned him in to the cops.”

“Hey,” you slurred with a giggle, hands pressed against his chest giving a tug on his shirt. “That’s mine, silly. I- can I-” You whined when the words wouldn’t come out, crashing your forehead down on his collarbone, snuggling into his neck. God, you were close. Your breath washed over his neck as you sighed, blood rushing through his veins practically under your lips. What he wouldn’t do-

No. He’d gotten distracted once tonight, it wouldn’t happen again.

“Oops,” he mumbled out dryly as he let the plastic cup fall to the floor, giving it a kick to make sure everything spilled out and started soaking into the carpet. He was confident absolutely no one would notice the stain among the others. “Why don’t we get you back to your dorm, and you can have a drink there, okay?” That drink was going to be a bottle of water he personally checked over for tampering, but you didn’t need to know that.

“But I love this song,” you hummed, jerking away from him so suddenly he had to tighten his grip to keep you upright. “Ooh, dance with me, Georgie!”

You moved like sin in that tight dress, but he steeled his nerves and guided you towards the front door. “Let’s dance outside, luv. Come on, this way.” You caught sight of the punch bowl and started changing direction. “No- okay, new plan,” George huffed. He grabbed your hand and twirled you, making you cheer, and promptly threw you over his shoulder.

“Whoooa! I’m so high up, Georgie! You’re so tall!”

“Sure am, darling.” He tried his absolute damnedest to keep his hands respectful. You were going to be sober when he touched you intimately for the first time- sober and begging for it. But your skirt was scooching up with every step, and the only way to stop it was a hand just barely under your ass. He thought if you were having a similar issue with the top and decided he might have to kill everyone there just to make sure they didn’t see you like that and live. Probably only a couple of hundred people in the house who would have to die. He could live with those numbers. Except Dream’s nostrils flared when he saw George carrying you, so he thought he might not live to get the job done. “Drink was salty,” he relayed, and just like that Dream’s anger was put back on the bastard they let get to you.

“Put her down-”

“Dreamy?” You tried to twist around, and it made it harder for George to hold you, so he complied, biting his tongue as you ran into Dream’s chest. “Hi, Dreamy! Georgie and I are gonna dance- dance with us!”

“Oh no, baby, we’re gonna get you home,” he purred, rubbing your back with one hand and yanking your skirt down with the other. “Come on, you can sit up front-”

“Is that safe?”

“Did you fix it since I got at it?”

“I just replaced the brakes yesterday.”

“Did you fuck with anything else?”

George sighed in relief. “Alright. You heard him, luv, go on.”

They watched you falter at his words, spinning around. “You’re coming, too… right?” They looked at each other, wondering how much longer they could be within arms reach without killing each other. “Come on, Georgie-” You gasped, falling against Dream and smacking his chest. “We can have a sleepover! Slumber party! Oh, please, Dreamy, please!”

“How could I say no to you, sweetheart?” “Especially when you say my name so pretty, begging for me so nice.” “Just climb in, baby, we’re gonna have a nice slumber party.”

You fell asleep less than halfway home. Barely stirred as Dream carried you in and George took off your shoes to put you in bed.

“What the fuck are you doing,” George hissed, breath catching in his throat as you groaned in your sleep, but unable to let Dream get away scot-free.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.” Your dorm key was easy to find, one of three things in the tiny purse you took partying, and Dream kept a quick mold kit in his glove box just in case. “Besides, we both know you’re gonna lift this off me, then I’ll strangle you to get it back, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Ooh, that’s a big word for you.” Dream replaced your key and slipped the kit into his back pocket to free up his hands to offer George a double middle-finger salute. “Charming. If you’re done…” He motioned to the door, making sure it was locked behind them. They walked in silence back to Dream’s car, but George broke the peace as he leaned back against the hood. “So what happened to the prick?”

Dream let out a deep sigh, leaning against the driver’s side door. “Couldn’t kill him,” he mourned. “Too many people saw us leave together.”

“He spiked lovely’s drink.” His voice was thick in disgust as he started flicking his knife open and closed- he needed to make something bleed.  

“Broke his nose,” Dream mused like he hadn’t heard. His voice was quiet as he thought back, trying to recall all the cracks he heard. “Dislocated shoulder- left. The arm he kept putting around her. Broke a few toes when I stomped on his foot…” He pulled a student I.D. card out of his front pocket. “And swiped this and a few hundred bucks.”  He let George snatch it, blade glinting in the streetlamp as he started flicking it faster, practicing basic tricks- warming up. Dream watched the blade move with practiced precision, rolling over George’s wrist without the slightest mark left behind. 

“... I’ll share him for a copy of baby’s schedule.”

[sunlightandsuffering]

What if some girl from their highschool one day approach Mikasa to ask about Eren bc she's interested in him and think he's cute so she makes up a story about Eren being gay just to cockblock him out of jealousy lmfaoo

LMFAO help, this just reminds me of New Girl. Gay Nick 😂 But Eren is probably SO confused??

Eren is confused. He's confused a lot of the time, Mikasa calls him a meathead sometimes, but today he thinks he has genuine reason to be confused, because Mikasa is acting weird. Actually, forget weird she's acting fucking looney.

She's been texting him shit all morning like "Ciao Babe", "Hope you're wearing those scrumptious red boots ;)" He does not own red boots?? What red boots??

Then, comes their afternoon lunch date, a standing tradition after her Monday morning classes and today, she has brought a friend. She waltzed up to their picnic table with more confidence and swagger than he's ever seen in his life, her hips swaying, and rather than her normal greeting of 'hello', he gets yanked into the most aggressive hug he's ever been apart of. "Come here you glorious bitch!"

What?? What!!!!??!?!?!

"Umm, Hi?" He struggles out through the harsh grip of her arms around his midsection. "Play along," She whispers harshly in his ear before seating herself next to him. "Eren, this is my new friend Carissa," she tells him pleasantly, hand cupped on her cheek as she rests on the picnic table.

"Hi, I'm Carissa, I'm in Mikasa's morning class." "Hi," He replies gingerly, looking to Mikasa for guidance and she raises her eyebrow expectantly. "You're a lot less umm flamboyant than Mikasa describes." What the fuck does that mean?? "Oh you just wait Carissa, he's just shy around new people, don't hold out on me queen. "

"Umm yeah, just umm takes a while for me to open up," he tells her numbly over a bite of sandwich. "Yup, in fact you wouldn't know it by looking at him, but Eren here has bagged all the hottest guys in our friend group so far," Mikasa brags casually and Eren almost spits out his sandwich, what!?!?

"Oh my god, really? Give me names!" Mikasa reaches over, grabbing his hand teasingly, "Oh yeah Armin." That, he can see, he'd always wondered a little if Armin swung both ways, batted for both teams. "Reiner." At this, Eren goes into a coughing fit, him and Reiner!??! I mean good for him, but also he would never stoop so low.

"Connie AND Marco." Connie?? Connie! As if he'd ever go for such a slob, he' honestly appalled. "Jean." Eren squeezes Mikasa's hand a little too strongly and she squeaks, "Well maybe not quite Jean, but he's tried!" Excuse her?? He's tried? So he's gay and he tried for Jean, but apparently couldn't get him?? As if he would EVER try for Jean, in any universe. Absolutely not, he will not have his good name besmirched like this. "Umm, no honey, Jean tried for me, it was all refusals up in here." And then, to complete his show, he snaps his fingers in a flamboyant flourish of attitude.

It is the most dramatic thing he's ever done and even Mikasa seems surprised by him while Carissa begins clapping.

Mikasa laughs nervously, giving Eren a firm slap on the thigh for his comment, "How come the good ones are never straight huh?"

He wants to die.