#oh right this needs

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

[theoldkyokodied]

One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut

[sunsetuniverse]

"There's a power in seeing yourself in another, in resemblance..."

[crunchchute]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

[egophiliac]

Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !

Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)

I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!

someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)

uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[cozylittleartblog]

valentines newsletter ???? ?? HELLO ???????? ?????? ? ????

[yuwuta]

you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel

[icantdothistodaybruh]

Happy New Year⭐

[seldompathic]

If bro smiles through tears in episode 1 of S3 I'm gonna fold like a lawn chair

[jorrated]

fleetway sonic is soooooooo bad with being cared for, he wants to be the most special boy in the spotlight ever but if somebody gives him a genuine hug he will die

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

[humming-fly]

sadly Arthur can't make friends with every cute woodland creature he comes across in the medieval countryside I can't believe the setting for season 5 has been out for over a month and I haven't seen a single monty python reference yet I guess I'll do it myself

in the spirit of choose-your-own-adventures here's an alternative timeline

[reformedplayerbibuck]

Bucktommy-missing scene: 7x09-265 words

They sit back at their table, the only ones there for the moment. Chim follows them.

"So he was calling you a-" Buck says slowly as they sit down.

"Yep," Tommy says, popping the 'p.' "Thanks, Howie. You didn't have to do that."

Chimney shrugs, grabbing a piece of food off his plate and popping it into his mouth. "I wasn't sure he knew about you, but you guys aren't exactly subtle, so I thought it was better safe than sorry. Also it was safer than punching him in the face."

"Hey!" Buck protests. "I have not grabbed his ass once today, thank you very much."

"I saw you guys making out in your jeep on my way in."

Tommy snorts and Buck can feel the heat suffuse his cheeks. "Have you seen him, Chimney?"

Tommy says "Evan, for goodness sake-" and Buck shoots him a wink, glad he's managed to get that Gerrard-related look off his face.

"Not my type, Buckaroo," Chim says as he eyes Maddie talking to Athena. "But you do you."

"I will, thank you," Buck says primly. He glances at Tommy a little uncertainly because he'd like to kiss him, but he also doesn't want to put Tommy in any weird spots with Gerrard just having done what he did.

He needn't have worried. Tommy leans forward and plants a sweet kiss on his mouth.

"Ugh," Chimney fake-gags. "You guys are gross. I'm gonna go kiss my wife."

"Bye," Buck says, not taking his eyes off Tommy, who's eyeing him with an expression of affection and fondness. Buck loves that look.

[egophiliac]

couple more, because I'm incapable of thinking about anything else apparently! I promise I'll stop soon (depending on what the June schedule says)

(please don't make me wait another three months for the next part, I'm gonna explode)

[b4kuch1n]

polymer broadcast signal hijack