#ok enough tag talking jesus christ

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[malikselfindulgence]

I always feel bad denying food my dad buys me because I'm the only one who likes the traditional food he likes and he says it makes him think of home so I am currently smiling through the pain

[sugar-omi]

ok so like i fully believe that after cove had sex w the mc the first time he's always needy, like, in the patreon moment it's implied you two have so much sex you can barely keep up with buying condoms . so imagine cove, that horny and needy guy with the highest libido imaginable bc you're so perfect and he wants to have you all the time, with a mc with a low libido . poor guy, you'd have to at least guide him on how to jerk off bc he can't cum unless it's with your help, no matter how ....

AHHH THAT IS SUCH A THOUGHT. this. this is whats in my brain 25/8. i love you anon tysm for the ask

tags : NSFW, gn reader, reader w a low libido, guided masturbation, phone sex, bit of edging, overstimulation

synopsis : cove's libido is much higher than yours, and he's become so obsessed with having sex with you, he's practically dependent on you for his orgasm. so you instruct cove how to get himself off.

he's always so eager to have sex with you, he really, really can't have enough of you...

but even if it wasn't for your low libido, you're sometimes tired and super sensitive after fucking like rabbits the day before

he would never force you! and he would feel bad if you tried to initiate sex even though you weren't in the mood for it. but even though he doesn't say anything, and tries to deal with his painfully hard dick by himself, sometimes it just isn't enough..

he's gotten so obsessed with you finishing him off that sometimes when he gets himself off it's so unsatisfying, and even worse, sometimes he can't even get off at all

poor thing is trying fruitlessly to get off, his hand and dick sloppy with pre and lube, making the dirtiest noises from how fast he's stroking his cock.

even though he's been tugging at his cock for what feels like hours, he just can't cum. his thighs shaking and his cock is so flushed.. the pressure is there he just.. can't...

you must have impeccable timing, because right then you call him.

he doesn't even know what comes over him, but he answers, his voice all breathy when he answers the phone..

he tries to act normal, but you can almost immediately tell somethings wrong, and even though cove really tried to be quiet- you can still hear the sound of something slick making wet sounds...

it's not hard for him to crack, because now he's all pitiful sounding on the phone, whining about how he can't cum and it hurts, he needs to cum so bad and he thought that listening to you talk might help...

excites him more when you call him dirty. hell, you can even tell him he's acting like a whore, he's so desperate at this point that even if you read a cookbook to him he'd probably cum

make him tell you what he's doing, tell you how hard he is and how he's so horny that he couldn't even focus at work, that he almost dropped a whole stack of merchandise on a customer because he's in a daze, day dreaming about you.

day dreaming about how pretty you looked when he gave you head, subconsciously reaching up to discreetly tug his hair the way you did the other night...

"jesus christ, cove. we haven't fucked in barely 24 hours and you're still cock / pussy drunk?" you curse, a bit spun by how ruined your boyfriend is

he gasps, his hand brushing over his cock head.. "i'm sorry. ah- i'm sorry..."

you smack your lips, able to hear cove's unrestrained stroking. "stop stroking your cock. i'm tryna talk to you and you're still jerking your pathetic cock."

cove whines, his fist tightly wrapped around the base of his cock but he doesn't move his wrist, trying not to thrust up into his hand for more friction.

even his body is begging for more, desperate for more.

his panting into the phone, clutching the device like it'd kill him to loosen up, let alone let go.

unbeknownst to your brainless boyfriend, you're on the other end still going about your day, stretched out on your beach towel. even though you had called wanting to invite him to join you at the beach, you have to admit, this is more fun than building sandcastles...

you fix your sunglasses, looking left and right just to make sure there's no one around.

"y/n..." cove mewls, sounding so airy and whiny, so desperate.

"start stroking your cock for me." you instruct, quickly elaborating before cove gets ahead of himself. "slowly."

he lets out a mix of a whine and a huff, forcing himself to slowly drag his hand up and down his length. "o-okay..." he chokes, shaking when his fingers brush over his sensitive head.

you absentmindedly rub lotion over your arms, pinning your phone between your ear and shoulder. the sun is extra hot today, you don't want to burn or worse.

you can hear cove's strangled moans and gasps, muffled words in between.

"mhmm.." you contemplate, there's so many things you could make him do, but you'll definitely have more opportunities..

"stroke the tip for me."

cove pants, his body shaking, his hips torn between pulling away from the overstimulation and bucking up into the sensation.

he swallows, his chest raising and falling.

"tighten your grip. just the way i do."

cove gasps and chokes, his hand fluttering around his tip, and even though he's so sensitive that his cock is basically begging for a break, he bucks up into his hand.

"are you fucking your hand? did i tell you to do that?"

cove's stomach dips in arousal, his eyes fluttering shut from your stern tone. "n-no. no, you did- aah! didn't!"

"you're probably such a pitiful sight.. you've been trying to get off all day, and you can't even do that without my help." you coo.

"touch your nipples for me, and stop stroking your cock, i don't want you to cum yet."

cove whines, begrudgingly pulling away from his cock, torn between disobeying and obeying but he does listen.

he tugs on his nipples, twisting the buds between his fingers.

the lube and pre from his cock is making his nipple shiny from the mess.

cove arches into his hands, his heavy cock hanging over his stomach, lube and pre dripping onto his tummy, his cock twitching and pre pearling at his tip.

"good boy." you purr over the line, "you sound so pretty... go ahead and touch your cock again, i wanna hear you cum."

cove's hand falls to his cock, his breath hitching.

"stroke it just the way i do." you instruct, cove's low moan and curse a sign if him following your instructions. "that's it... tighten your grip, stroke nice and fast for me."

cove tries to mimick your movements, closing his eyes, trying to imagine your hand around his dick instead.

his hand gropes his pec, fondling his "tits" the same way you would, squeezing and squishing the muscle, his fingers pinching his nipples and his thumb runs over his flushed mushroom head.

"i'm- y/n i'm gonna-" cove gasps, arching his back, the bed creaking from all his squirming.

"that's it, keep it up. you're doing so good for me cove." you praise, licking your lips, imagining your boyfriend all flushed and sweaty, on the edge of cumming...

"go ahead and cum for me."

cove growls, ropes of cum spurting across his stomach and making a sloppy mess of his hand.

you let him work through his high, hearing his labored breath and whimpers through the phone.

"fuck..." cove curses softly, thoroughly spent from his orgasm.

"cove?" you call over the phone.

he licks his lips, wiping his hand over his face. "yeah?"

"open the door for me, will you?"

i have a very vivid image of our sunshine boy in my head..... and he's a mess. and i Want him..

[adnauseum11]

Operational Risk Management (John Price x Reader)

Kate calls with some bad news.

1k words

CW: swearing, military inaccuracies

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, master list also pinned to my blog.

Masterlist

Ao3

John’s phone lights up in the center console with an incoming call just as you are returning to the flat. Two hefty shopping bags of new glitter-less decorations are safely secured in the back seat. His patience ran out about half-way back from your excursion, locked in a snarl of holiday traffic. When he began to grumble about the lack of common sense on display, you reminded him that he wanted to tag along with you. The look he gave you afterwards was dark, but you didn’t let it faze you, used as you are to his intermittent grumpiness. Still, you’re happy to claim your spoils and clear off so he can take his phone call in peace, his annoyance doing nothing to dampen your spirit. 

“Hello?” 

John’s tone is curt. The familiar sound of chopper blades swells and then he can hear Kate over the staticky line, immediately picturing her cupping her hand over the bottom of the phone as she clears the rotors. 

“John? Got some news, you aren’t going to like it. Can you talk?” 

She’s moving, likely just landed. John’s brain is leaping ahead, trying to fill in the gaps. 

“Yeah. What happened? Gaz alright?”

Kate cuts straight to the chase, apparently no time to waste on pleasantries. 

“The commander Gaz is working under is a younger brother to man killed in Las Almas - belonged to Shadow Company. He’s leveraged his position with Norris to start knocking on doors to find out what happened to his brother and he’s managed to get enough intel to hold the 141 responsible.”

“Jesus Christ Laswell.”

John’s palm comes down with a slap on the steering wheel, his mood worsening. He can feel his blood pressure rising as Kate’s terse voice washes over him.

“I suspect Norris is feeding him information. We’re going to keep working on that end, see if we can confirm anything. When you turned down the contract and that photo popped up, he tried a different path. The commander did basic training with your girl’s would-be-assailant years ago, before the dishonourable discharge. We think he’s currently switching tack again. Gaz is obviously compromised, and they’re about to ship out.”

“Ah hell Kate.” 

John’s violently pushing his fingers through his hair, the implications of Gaz being in the thick of this commander’s operation making his stomach turn to lead. 

“I didn’t know John, didn’t think Norris’ men needed further vetting. Lesson learned. I’ve got a potential intercept point. Right now, we’re handling some rendezvous communications for them as we’ve got friendlies in the field, Gaz being one. They’re going to be sent to recon a chemical manufacture plant in Lithuania for a potential raid.”

Kate’s tone suggests she’s well aware of her fuck up, and John respects her enough to leave it there, satisfied with her acknowledgement.

“There’s got to be a vulnerability we can exploit to get Gaz to safety.”

John’s instinct is to plan, even without any intel yet.

“Ghost is planning an avenue of approach for the potential intercept point before whatever the commander is up to comes to fruition out there. We urgently could use an extra set of hands in the know, Captain. Timing is critical here. Gaz’s assigned taskforce won’t be expecting us. If we do this correctly, we can bury this for good with no one the wiser.”

John looks up at the flat, can almost picture you flitting around, rearranging items to account for your new prizes. His heart sinks as he makes the only decision his conscience will allow. 

“Yeah, my bag is mostly packed. I can be at the base in a few hours for pick up if you can arrange liaison.”

Kate asks the question he’s been dreading since this conversation started. He can guess at the outcome and is in no hurry to be proven right. 

“Your girl going to be ok with the last-minute change of holiday plans?”

At the mention of you, John’s brain immediately pulls the image of you naked in the shower, flushed from the orgasm he’d just given you, admitting you’re in love. The center of his chest aches at the thought of leaving you alone during the holiday you’re so obviously excited to share with him. At one point, early on, he was confident that he knew exactly what he was doing. His emotions lately tended to be out of control and headlong, almost impossible to moderate. After years of relentlessly telling himself it was better to keep his distance, to stay platonic, he’s finally getting what he’s coveted after all this time. And still, he can’t stop his greedy heart from wanting more. He fights back the uncharacteristic swell of emotion and clears his throat, refocusing on the conversation at hand.

“I’ll handle it. Not leaving anything this volatile for someone else to clean up. I want assurance it’s over.” 

“If you’re sure. You’ve been moving fast with this woman John. I’m assuming you know what you’re doing here.”

His laugh is dark, the sound of a man whose best laid plans are unravelling in front of his eyes. 

“Gaz would do the same. I’ll sort it out on my end, set up the liaison for 19:00.”

John is all business, putting any indecision firmly to rest in short order.

“We appreciate the assist; I’ll debrief you further once you’re on route. And John?”

“Yeah?” 

He’s preoccupied, already trying to work out how to explain what’s about to happen to the woman he loves.

“Good luck, hope you bought her something nice.”

Kate’s tone is a mix of gentle teasing and honest concern. John’s foul mood refuses to rise to the occasion.

“Piss off Laswell.”

John grates out before hanging up the call and sighing deeply, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He shouts a handful of curses into the empty car, grateful for a mostly vacant street to witness his outburst. He takes several deep breaths to gather himself again before stepping out of the car to rejoin you in the flat and break the news.

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @writeforfandoms @syoddeye @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

[mammalsofaction]

For the writing thing : Perryshmirtz (15)

From the kissy prompt list here

Perryshmirtz kisses

... Made in anger (45)

... Made in jealousy (46) @dinnerdog

... Passionately (15)

Pushing All My Buttons

Rating: M

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: Human Perry, speaking Perry, Peter the Panda (mentioned), Professor Mystery (mentioned), semi-public snogging, telenovela moments, owca agents being nosey little shits.

A/N: Yall would not believe how much fun I had with this.

---

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

"Perry. Perry. Oh, for Gott's sake, Perry would you please slow down and let me explain-,"

He doesn't slow down. In fact, he lets the heavy swinging door leading out from Monogram's office swing loudly shut behind him, hoping it would slam Heinz in his stupid, simpering, unapologetic, lying face. Maybe even break his nose. Breaking Heinz's nose always makes him feel better.

His co-workers peek from beyond their cubicles, but cower quickly upon the sight of a single frightening glare.

"Verdammt, ok, I know you did that on purpose but I won't hound you for that now, it's an action made out of anger, and I forgive you-,"

Unbelievable! "Me?" Perry echoed incredulously, turning on his heel just as he realized he'd been baited, and he threw his hand up in resignation as Heinz caught up, practically out of breath. "Me? I'm the dick?"

"Baby, please-,"

"Do not baby me, Doofenshmirtz, after the kind of mess that you've just made me clean up back there with that no-good son of a bitch-,"

"Ouch, last name, okay, so you caught me in Seattle talking with Peter behind your ba-,"

Perry slaps him.

He doesn't realize he'd been thinking of doing it until he's already done it, with Heinz's face thrown back and cheek stinging red from the blow. He hadn't realized he hadn't wanted to hear that bastard's name again until Heinz spelled it out.

There is an unmistakable gasp from the crowd all around them, and an even more noticeable silence after.

He can't fucking do this. He needs to leave. This is the most humiliating day of his life.

Perry turns back on his heel, keeping his dark gaze on the floor ahead of him lest any of his co-workers caught any strays, thought they all jumped away quickly from his path, spilling coffee and handfuls of paperwork. He's half hoping Heinz would leave that as is, letting Perry run home and lick his nonsensical emotional wounds in the privacy of his own home, with his brother and maybe Pinky, who will most assuredly hear about this down the grapevine in a couple of minutes.

No such luck. Just as he reaches the door on the other end of the office, he hears the man scramble after him, continuing to shout his name. Jesus Christ.

He usually takes a right out the door, heading for the lift, but he's not in a mood to be gawped at any further by another batch of not-quite-strangers and let the gossip run any worse than it already had, so he takes a left instead, for the stairs. He's got the feeling he's going to need the exercise.

It takes two full flights of stairs before Heinz properly catches up to him, pulling him back by the shoulder. On instinct alone, Perry twists his torso to fully bodyslam Heinz against the wall. Here's an unfortunate side effect his rage-addled brain oversees; it presses both of their fronts tightly together, bringing their faces closely enough as to breathe the same muddled air, and Heinz keeps him there with his arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Caught you." Heinz pants.

"You're a sick sonofabitch and I hope you break every bone falling down the rest of these stairs."

"I'd let you push me," Heinz admits. "If it means you'd spare me a minute to explain what I was doing in Seattle."

The mere mention of the city sends another spike of angry adrenaline through his veins. Perry feels like he could take down a while SWAT team. He's done so with less.

As it was, he only presses his forearm harder into the front of Heinz's throat. The former mad scientist chokes, and it oddly makes him feel better.

"Maybe I should." Perry muses humorlessly. He lets the man struggle a little longer for air before he eventually releases his hold. He does not otherwise create distance, keeping their fronts pressed together with nowhere else to go. "30 seconds."

Heinz gasped. "Peter and Mystery broke up."

The statement actually caught him enough unawares that he does let off to let Heinz breathe. "What?" He said.

"Peter and Mystery broke--I don't know, he's told me it was complicated." Heinz rushes to say with the given opportunity. "Liebling, you know what I was there for. I've told you about it. I was there to attend Diminiutive's seminar at the Evil Expo down the street, and I was going to get some linner on the way back-,"

"Don't call it that."

"That's what it's called!"

"No one else calls it that."

"It's like brunch, which is--you know, combination breakfast and lunch, so combination lunch and dinner-,"

"Can we please-," Perry interrupts, refusing to let Heinz convince him into the grooves of this well-worn argument. Already he can feel himself relax against his better judgement. "You just have. 20 seconds."

"You were not counting down."

"10 seconds."

"Ok, ok! Look, he wasn't even there for me, he was there for Diminiutive, I was just helping out an old friend, so we got into a bit of...a...squabble,"

"You flooded the mall," Perry points out, gentler than he'd initially made it out to be.

"He short circuited the whole place and the convention ended a day early, which was probably what he'd been aiming for." Heinz shrugged, tightening his arms around Perry's shoulders. They were already so close...it was easy, too easy to let the taller Drusselsteinian man lean down, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. And again, as he realizes Perry makes no move to push him away. Again, and again, and again, and Perry feels the last of his fury seep out milimetre by milimetre, until at last Heinz cradled a boneless agent, softly cradled within his stubborn embrace.

Heinz swipes his tongue down his bottom lip, requesting entry, which Perry allows with a gentle sigh. He licks down the back of his teeth, tasting of coffee and flaky, overpriced pastries, and when they next depart the sound of their smacking lips echo obscenely in the silent emptiness of the stairway.

"Yeah?" Heinz murmurs, pressing his nose to the side of his temple. Perry can feel his stupid, smug grin.

"I hate you so much." Perry mutters fiercely, but he lets the man pull him into another kiss, more heated than the last, angling their faces to pull him deeper, tugging him closer, manhandling their positions so he could press Perry into the wall, slipping his knee between his thighs and dropping his hands to Perry's waist. When air becomes a more pressing need, Heinz pulled away only to latch onto the spot just underneath the back of his ear, right where he loves it most. "I hate-you, God, Heinz-,"

"You know you're the only nemesis for me, hmm?"

He's meant to have a proper retort, something suitably sharp, maybe about his current track record thwarting wise, but Heinz flexes the thigh pressed his groin just as he bites down the joint of his neck and shoulder--just where the collar couldn't hide, and what comes out instead was a breathy moan. "Hmmn, Heinz,"

"Mm? Right here?" Heinz asked, rhetorically of course. Perry moans as Heinz's trailed a line of open mouth kisses down the side of his jaw, feeling dizzy from the lack of air of the enclosed stairway as well as the joint thrill from the knowledge they could be busted by any random passer-by at any moment. Nevertheless, as Heinz's hip jumped unwittingly, pressed to Perry's own, the teal haired agent reciprocates readily. "Fuck, liebling-," Heinz chokes, surprised.

A niggling thought remains on the edges of his mind, puzzle pieces he couldn't quite pin down until he pulled Heinz back down for another kiss, licking down the back of his throat. Perry lets it run its course before he finally pushes the man away.

Heinz looked wrecked, pupils blown and teeth bared. Like he was hungry. Perry reminds himself to focus.

"You taste like chicken pastries." He accuses.

This time, it is Heinz who looks like he'd been caught off guard. He blinks. "What?"

Perry's still got his hands on Heinz's chest, where they'd settled after they've relaxed from his previous stranglehold. Perry narrows his eyes, and his fists clench on Heinz's shirt. "You've had 'linner'." He accuses. "How did you know Peter and Mystery broke up?"

The man freezes. "Uh...,"

Ah, there it is. That welcome surge of annoyance that had gone missing so quickly some minutes before. He hits his hands palm down on Heinz's shoulders with enough force to push him away, but he doesn't let Perry slip out of his hold. He ought to slap him again. As if reading his mind, Heinz quickly held on to each of Perry's wrists separately.

"Ah, Liebling, wait-,"

"You are such an unbelievable asshole-,"

"I'd just let him buy me dinner!"

"Fuck you." Perry wrestles his hands away with a simple twist of his wrists, pushing the man away with a hard shove. Heinz hits the railing behind him with a grunt, likely bruising the small of his back. As Perry advances forward, Heinz flinched. "Ah, Perry, wait just a moment-,"

Perry fists his right hand into the fabric of his shoulder, and he pulls Heinz into one last kiss.

To his credit, the scientist reciprocates immediately, mouth slack in surprise even as Perry bites viciously on his lip, mauling the lower half of his face. It is only when Heinz is sufficiently dazed and confused that Perry lets up, letting Heinz blink at him with no small measure of confusion and wonder.

"What-,"

Perry cuts him off by slamming the heel of his shoe to Heinz's left foot, right above the joint of his ankle. Heinz yowls, a sharp cry of pain echoing down the hall that finally fills him with a sense of satisfaction.

"That's fair." Heinz whimpered.

"I thought so." Perry smirks, and finally lets himself walk down the rest of the stairs.

He doesn't slow down as Heinz hobbles pitifully behind him, not even once.

[writers-hes]

A Stack of Rainchecks (e. munson x reader)

SYNOPSIS: You and Eddie Munson were in love until he realizes that you both live in opposite worlds and no matter how he tried to change everything, nothing was ever going to happen.  REQUESTED: no WARNINGS: angst, canon and non-canon events (still related to canon events), not proofread, alcohol consumption, Eddie Munson and his livelihood, mentions to poverty, ANGST ANGST ANGST like there is no fluff in this fic just angst ok!!!!!!!! (note: the timeline here is Season 1 Stranger Things and Eddie, you, and Steve are all in your senior year); really frustrating miscommunication, pov jumps but it’s really worth it PAIRINGS: Eddie Munson x Reader WORD COUNT: 6k+ beta reader: @eddiesprincess86 🤍 helpful links: navigation | master lists | rules and guidelines | tag list | fic recs

gif not mine

This isn’t the first time Eddie has called raincheck, again. In fact, this was the second one this week. This was supposed to be the day he made up for you and you were patient. So, so, so patient that maybe…just one more, he’ll finally get to his senses and not blow you off at the last minute. You sighed, kicking the innocent rock on the front porch, frowning at it to somehow make Eddie appear because Jesus Christ, you tried to understand but it was so, so, so, so hard.

He promised to pick you up and drop you off last night over the phone. He told you that he was going to come by at 10:00 in the morning and it was already 11:43.

“God, I’m so stupid,” you muttered, looking up. You refused to cry over something so miniscule but you were feeling neglected by your own boyfriend. Would it really hurt him to pick you up when he said he would? It wasn’t like you were expecting to be on a grand date with him. You were way past that. It would’ve been nice if he just showed up, did his business, while you were sitting on his passenger’s seat. It would’ve been nice to just talk without his friends. Not that he even tried to get close with your friends. He always told you that they were ‘stuck up’ and had no time for trailer trash like him. You understood but it’s not like his friends accepted you either. Gareth, Jeff, and Todd still directed snide remarks your way.

“It’s not like you’d understand. You have everything handed down to you on a silver platter.” They’d say and it might be true but Eddie never defended you—always laughed it off with them. You raised your concern once and he just shrugged it off.

“It’s just a joke,” he would defend. “You couldn’t really blame them,”

You nodded meekly. You loved Eddie—really did. You loved how he was such a breath of fresh air. He was so unlike the community you grew up in. He wasn’t boat shoes, lakehouse, warm cardigans, and perfectly gelled hair. He was dirty white sneakers, his bedroom, leather jackets, and messy curly hair.

“Sometimes, I think you only like me because I’m different,” he’d tease. It was somehow true but you loved him because he was Eddie. He made you laugh with his theatrics. He’d make your heart swell when he gives you gifts that came from the last of his allowance; treat you with the best that he could with the little money that he had to spare. You never asked him to but it was Eddie. He liked taking care of you until he suddenly didn’t.

You tried racking your brain for the reason why he suddenly changed but it never came to you.

-

It wasn’t the first time Eddie blew you off this week. This was the second time. But what could he do? He could never give you what you deserved—he could never give you what your friends could give you. He was just trailer trash in the eyes of your friends and your family. God, your family.

The way they looked at him three months ago—like, he didn’t even matter. Why would he? It’s not like he could blame them either. You were a good girl from a rich neighborhood. Why would they let their only daughter be associated with the Munsons? His last name alone gave enough reason for people to run off the hills.

He tried to shrug off the remarks that people said about the two of you. He tried so, so, so hard but he couldn’t. At the end of the day, he was only a nineteen year old living in his uncle’s trailer. At the end of the day, his biggest dream is to make it out of this town or even get his own trailer. It wasn’t fair to you.

“Who would even dream of dating Eddie Munson? Was surprised she was all over him. Do you think she really likes him? Or is he only using her to get something?” he heard once. It was the reason why Eddie worked twice as hard. So he could give you something that you deserved—dates to fancy restaurants, extravagant gifts that cost more than the much needed repair of their trailer. He never minded—he loved seeing your eyes twinkle when you received that silver necklace with an ‘E’ that you saw in the mall once. He didn’t want to pull away but then again, how could he ever provide all these things for you? You were both numb and naive.

“My van sticks out like a sore thumb in your neighborhood,” he says, taking a jab at himself. Was he asking for self-pity? He didn’t know but it did hurt to hear you chuckle.

-

You went back to your house, tears streaming down your face. Your promise went down the drain. You cried and cried in your bedroom. God, when did Eddie stop loving you? Did you do anything to him? Were you expecting too much when you expected him to pick you up at the right time? When you wanted him to defend you to his friends? When you wanted your friends to at least know him?

Were you asking for too much?

Monday comes and you were looking forward to see Eddie. You wanted to ask if things were fine between the two of you. You wanted to see him again. You wanted him to walk you to your next class. You saw his van parked, it was only a matter of time before he greets you at the main door, a scowl on his face until he sees you.

But he wasn’t there.

Your heart sank at the absence of your boyfriend, trying to regain your composure when Steve saw you falter.  

“You’re okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you nod, swallowing thickly. “Let’s go to class?”

Eddie watches as Harrington walks you to your class. That was his job. He was supposed to hold your hand while you complained about the amount of work you had to exert to get an A+, Eddie laughing cause he only wanted a decent grade. But you seemed fine talking to Harrington, laughing at something he said.

He didn’t like how he spent the afternoon without you last weekend. All afternoon long, he was sitting on his bed, smoking or playing the guitar. It felt so heavy for him to utter a lie and say that he was busy doing something when he was not. He freed the day for you, wanting to see you smile and all of that. He wondered what you were wearing, if you were wearing the necklace he gave you. Of course you would because that was you. Still, he couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling of going to the grocery store last night, his Uncle using the last food stamps to buy their food for the week. Another reminder of why he could never give you the grand things you were used to. God, he didn’t want that for you. He didn’t want to deprive you of anything. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of using food stamps, he’s been using it since his parents abandoned him. He was just ashamed that it was all he could ever give you.

Was Eddie asking for too much when he prayed for a week without having to be poor? Without feeling like he could never be enough? Like was not loveable? Was he asking for too much when he asked for a better life?

What did he do in his previous lifetime to be punished this way?

-

You never saw Eddie on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. It was Thursday now and he has yet to show himself to you. You’ve been spending more time with your friends, mostly Steve. He didn’t like how Carol and Tommy treated Nancy. Nancy didn’t like him anymore and Eddie hasn’t spoken to you all week. You tried walking to his lunch table but stopped when you didn’t see him. It was like Eddie suddenly vanished.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been so out of it lately,” Steve asks, concern lacing his voice. You were both sitting in his car, Eddie was nowhere to be seen but his van was still parked on the school lot.

“No,” you muttered. “But what can I do about it anyway? Eddie has been avoiding me like the plague,” you chuckled humorlessly. “It’s like he doesn’t even exist and he doesn’t seem to care at all,”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve replied. “he’s probably going through something and needs space,”

“From me?” you whispered, your eyes glossy. “He tells me everything and suddenly he hasn’t…he doesn’t…he’s not speaking to me at all. I haven’t seen my boyfriend since Friday and it’s Friday tomorrow,”

“Hey, don’t cry,” Steve sighs. He didn’t know how to deal with this. “Come here,” he says, extending his arms towards you and you come closer to him, appreciating his comfort.

Eddie Munson didn’t like how Steve Harrington had his arms around you. He slammed the door of his van loudly before revving it, running out of the school parking lot, running away from you.

-

“Do you think I should break up with him?” you asked once you’ve calmed down, the thought of being separated making the back of your throat hurt.

“I can’t answer that,” Steve replied. “It would look bad on me,”

“Why? We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, Steve. You tell me everything,” you told him. “And…and I feel silly opening up to the others you know? They never really liked Eddie,”

“I never really liked Eddie,” Steve confesses. “But only you could answer your question. It’s not my place to tell you to break up with him. Why don’t you think it over? Maybe you’re just too sad to even think about the consequences of breaking up with him,”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Thanks, Steve,” you smiled before he dropped you off. You take turns driving since you lived on his street. Steve watches as you walk towards your door, dejected and shoulders slouched. As his friend, he wanted you to break up with Eddie. Your boyfriend has been treating you like shit all week—hell, it wasn’t even a week. You told him that this has been going on for months. But who was he to get in the way? He’s been doing the same dumb shit to win Nancy back, going as far as denying that she obviously held feelings for the Byers kid.

-

It was Hellfire night and Gareth looked at the lack of your presence in the drama room. The chair that usually sat on was tucked away in the corner and decided to finally ask.

“Why is she not around anymore? Did you two break up or something?” Gareth asks Eddie who only looked at him pointedly. “Thank God. She was quite insufferable, you know? I mean, does she really have to go around showing off how good her life is? I’m glad you broke up. You weren’t like yourself when you were together,”

“What?” Eddie asked, his ears ringing at Gareth’s jabs.

“What Gareth was saying was that she just had an air of being better than all of us,” Jeff tried to explain.

“Guys, can we go back to our game?” Todd adds, wanting to intervene. He saw how Eddie’s face reddened at Gareth and Jeff’s admissions.

“Can you go fuck yourself and mind your business?” Eddie replies, venom dripping in his voice.

“What? I just asked because she’s been so cozy with Harrington this whole week and you were nowhere to be seen,” Gareth explained, his hands raising in surrender.

“Fuck this,” Eddie mutters, standing up. He tossed his things on the table before storming off, nevermind the fact that Jeff asked what the fuck was the matter.

What happened? Eddie knows what happened and he hated how he dreams about it every night—how he thinks about it all the time.

It was three months ago. You’ve been dating Eddie for a month, after weeks of trying to charm you. It was hard work but Eddie liked to work hard for you. You decided to finally let your parents meet Eddie and while Eddie was adamant about it, he still let you.

“Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Eddie,” you told your parents as soon as they opened the door. Eddie felt so uncomfortable under your father’s gaze and your mother’s uncomfortable smile. When you told them that you had a boyfriend, they wanted to meet him. They just never expected to see someone who had a janky van, uncut hair, and ripped jeans.

“I’m Eddie Munson,” Eddie says, extending his hand towards your father. He saw how your parents visibly winced at the mention of his last name. A fucking curse. You didn’t see how your father looked at his extended hand, as if he was so, so dirty but you did see how your father took Eddie’s hand and gripped it harshly.

“Let’s c-come in!” your mother’s voice rang, a stumble in her step. God, Eddie felt like trash. He looked around your house, it was the first time he’s ever been in it. His breath caught in his throat at the pictures of you hanging on the stairway. He looked outside and you had a pool, several rooms for recreation on the first floor before settling in your dining area, and a chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling.

“I hope you’re hungry, Eddie,” you told him. “Mom makes the best lasagna and she made one just for the two of us. Right, mom?” you asked and your mother nodded. Eddie was hungry. He saw what they had in the fridge last night: mush and more mush. He couldn’t afford to get take-out. He’s been saving his money for the record player that you were eyeing last week.

There was an awkward tension hanging in the air and you seemed so oblivious to it. You were just looking at Eddie like he hung the stars in the sky.

“So, Eddie, what are your plans after high school?” your father asked.

“I’m not yet s-sure, sir. I’ll probably have to work before attending college,” he stuttered. Can they even afford college?

“I’m sure there are state colleges willing to offer you a scholarship,” your father remarked. “Y/N here is going to New York or California. Did you know that?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

“He helped me fill my application forms and write my essays,” you told your dad. “Eddie’s a really good writer,”

Eddie smiled at your innocence. You couldn’t even hear your dad’s words.

“Where do you live, Eddie?” your father asked. He must’ve known Eddie lived in Hawkin’s Trailer Park. Before Eddie could reply, your mother intervened.

“If a scholarship was handed to you, what would you take?”

“Literature, ma’am. Or…or…music,” Eddie replied. “But if I’m being more practical, I’d like to take up business management,” he tried to add upon your father’s disapproval.

“A good head on your shoulders,” your mother half-lied.

Dinner was tense but you decided to dip your legs in the pool with Eddie.

“Eddie, can you please be a dear and get us a drink?” you asked. “I’ve been helping my mom cook and my back hurts,” you pout.

Eddie nodded, kissing your nose before excusing himself. He was about to go to your kitchen and ask for a drink when he heard your father speak.

“What was she thinking? Bringing him here?”

“Hey, I’m sure she means well. They look like they really like each other,” your mother tried to console.

“Yeah, but how is he going to feed my daughter? I can’t let her go running off with a boy with no dreams,” your father reasoned. “Literature? Music? Is that even going to be enough?“

“You could give him a job at your firm if that’s your concern,” your mother reasoned. “She did say he’s a good writer. She’s a big girl now. I’m sure she could handle herself,”

“Yeah but what are his plans when she leaves Hawkins? I don’t think he could afford college. I mean, have you even seen his van? It sticks like a sore thumb in our neighborhood,”

“You have to give Eddie a chance. He looks like he’s been through a lot and he looks like he’s trying,” he heard your mother speak.

“I just can’t believe it. I mean, she could be dating the Harrington kid and I would have been fine,” your father replied.

“It’s okay,” your mother said. “We could probably do something to help him out,”

Eddie felt sick. He knew that it was his fault for eavesdropping but every word was a knife to his gut. He felt them twist until it hurt. Holding back his tears, he quietly walked back to you.

Eddie liked how the blue light reflected on your face. You were so beautiful and for a moment, he felt so serene. He loves the way your hair frames your face. He loved the way your eyes sparkled. He loves the way your hands look for his when you are in a crowd; loves the way your knee touches his when you sit beside each other. God, he was finally happy. He finally had you, the girl of his dreams. You were so kind, so genuine—so different from the people who treated him like trash. He was just foolish to believe that the people who raised you were the same.

“Sorry, I couldn’t get you your drink, sweetheart,” he says. “I couldn’t see your mom and I feel guilty just taking something from the fridge,”

“That’s okay, Eds,” you told him, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I know that I’ve never told you this. I mean, we only started dating and all of that for like, a few weeks? But I love you. You don’t have to say it back, of course. I just felt like you should know,”

“I love you too,” he replies, kissing your forehead. You’ve read in books that when people say I love you for the first time, there was supposed to be some grand speech, a long kiss, and everything else. There should be something so difficult that only love could fix it. But while you were sitting down at the edge of the pool, your legs dangling in the water, Eddie’s arm around you, and the world finally at peace, you decided that this is enough.

Eddie just didn’t know it.

-

Perhaps it was your fault for always asking for more from Eddie.

It was Friday night and it’s been weeks since you last saw your boyfriend. Steve and Nancy were kind of back together and you were third wheeling. It was another party that another kid you didn’t know held, boasting that his parents were out of town and that he had money to blow. High school students come flocking to free booze and you find yourself in the party, miserable.

You were sitting on the couch, a red cup in your hand. You were waiting for Nancy and Steve to come back from the restroom. Someone—you didn’t know who exactly—spilled a drink on Nancy’s clothes and Steve wanted to help her clean it up. You perked up at the sight of Eddie, ready to come to him when you saw him exit through the back door with a girl.

You frowned, deciding to follow them. They were near the woods when you heard it.

“Fifteen dollars? You’re expensive,” the girl says and Eddie chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“What can I say? I give the best one in town,”

“You sure you can’t give me a discount?” she tried flirting but Eddie only chuckled.

“Tell you what, sweetheart,” You gasp at the nickname. “Next time you buy from me you get a loyalty discount,”

“Okay,” the girl says. “That better be the best weed in Indiana, Munson,”

“Wouldn’t dream of tricking a pretty girl like you,” he says, making the girl giggle. Another deal for the night. Who knew dealing would be so easy? The girl runs off before another person sees her with Eddie Munson. Eddie was humming, looking through his metal lunchbox. Two more bags and he’s ready to go.

“Really, Eddie? You’re dealing drugs now?” he suddenly hears your voice and he jumps, not expecting you to be here.

“Don’t surprise me like that next time,” he chuckles and you frown.

“There shouldn’t be no next time, Eddie,” you chastised. “How much is left there? I’ll buy it and throw it in the river. Just don’t deal again,”

“God,” he says. One thing about parties is that the students forget who he is. He’s allowed to have fun, drink alcohol, and sell drugs. He couldn’t control what came out of his mouth, he was drunk. He can blame it on the alcohol for tonight. “Not everyone can afford shit like you do,”

Your mouth falls, taken aback.

“Wh-what?” you stuttered. “Look, Eddie, I think you’re drunk. So, why won’t I get Steve to drive us home?”

“Steve, Steve, Steve,” he mocks. “It’s all Steve! I’m looking for you and I see you with him. In school, in his car! He even has pictures on your wall!”

“What’s your problem with him? I told you we’re friends,” you said. “Let’s just go home,” you said, taking his arm. He shrugged it off aggressively.

“No, no just…leave me alone!” Eddie groans. “God, can you like, give me space? To think?”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” you ask, your hands forming a fist. Frustrated and sad, you didn’t know why your sweet, sweet Eddie was acting this way. Gone was the warmth, the love, and everything else. He looked at you as if he wasn’t even happy that you were there. If this happened months ago, he would chastise you for flirting with him because he had a lovely girlfriend with the same name as you and she was probably looking for him. He used to be a fun drunk, a clingy one too. He’d pout if you didn’t give him enough attention, tug on your sleeves or the hem of the shirt that you were wearing. Where did it all go wrong?

“Just let it go,” he says. “Yeah? Let me do my thing to fucking—provide and not be shitty because you’re such a princess and then maybe we’ll talk tomorrow,”

“Come on, Eddie. Let’s just go home,” you beg. “Please,” you whisper. “I don’t want us to fight. Let’s just go home and forget about everything tomorrow,”

“What home? You’ve never even been to the trailer,” he says. “Don’t wanna get grime under your nails. Don’t wanna get trailer germs on your skin and everything, right?” he spat. “There’s no tomorrow. Let’s talk about it now. No need to prolong this shit,”

He’s never invited you over. He has never asked to hang there. You’ve never even met his Uncle Wayne no matter how much you wanted to. Nothing at all. He would always tell you to just hang at your house or Skull Rock. Everywhere but their trailer. You respected it but he couldn’t say shit like this.

“What shit?” you asked Eddie, a waver in your voice. “Prolong what?”

“Take a hint and just go home,” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Fine,” you say, tears on your face yet again. “If you really don’t want to come home, Eddie, then don’t! God!” You huffed and walked away, trying to contain the sob that was fighting to come out of your throat.

“Fine, go home with Harrington! With his big, big house and his big, big car!” he shouts, making you shut your eyes in frustration. Right, he could blame it on the alcohol.

You walk back inside the house, looking for Steve and Nancy. There was tension in the air but you couldn’t care less. Fuck everyone in this party. Fuck Eddie. You couldn’t find Nancy anywhere but you found a distressed Steve sulking by the kitchen.

“Steve,” you gasp, tugging on his arm. “Let’s go home, please,”

“Okay,” he nods, deciding to forget about Nancy for tonight. He’s had enough of her calling everything bullshit. Steve grabs your arm and leads you back to the car. He opens the door for you and you get in, before watching him jog to the other side.

“Why did you want to go?” he asked.

“Can we–can we not just, I don’t know. He’s dealing drugs,” you confessed.

“Who?”

“Eddie,” you replied. “Called me a princess. Told me that I’ve never even been inside their trailer because I didn’t want grime under my princess nail beds. He said that he’s been dealing to provide and that not everyone can afford shit like I do…that there was no need to prolong this shit. Whatever that means,” you chuckled. “Enough about me, though. Where’s Nancy?” you asked, sniffing. Everything was so fucked up.

“Told me that everything’s bullshit. She acted like we aren’t in love and that everything that we shared was bullshit,” Steve says. “I changed for her…you know? And, and, she says it’s all bullshit. Is it all bullshit?

“It’s like what the fuck? Everything that I’ve been trying to do was bullshit. She said I was bullshit, pretending that everything was okay. It’s not! It’s not! She doesn't love me,” he laughed humorlessly. “Doesn’t fucking love me,”

“What happened to us, huh?” you asked. “I just want to scream, you know? Eddie doesn’t give a shit about me anymore,” you realized, your voice cracking. “What did I do wrong? I don’t know what I did wrong. I tried to be a good girlfriend; tried to understand that he needed the space but it’s been weeks and the first thing he does is insult me and flirt with someone else,”

“Come on, let’s go to the lake and scream all about it, yeah? Let’s scream all about it,”

-

You woke up the next day with a burning throat and puffy eyes. You screamed all of your frustrations by the lake last night with Steve. You closed your eyes, trying not to cry again. Eddie has been making you so miserable and you knew that it wasn’t fair anymore. You were hurting with how things worked out. How did months of innocent love between two highschoolers turn out like this? He casted you aside without even telling you anything. You felt so clueless.

-

Eddie woke up in his van. He was sure he vomited somewhere but he couldn’t give a shit right now, not when he knew that he made you upset. He thought of coming up to you and apologizing but is it really genuine if he blames it on alcohol? He knew that you were hurting and he hated to be the cause of all of that but what would he say? That your parents thought he was trash? Your friends looked at him suspiciously? That he was trying to be better? That he didn’t want to be the reason why you were held back in Hawkins when you so clearly wanted to get out of it? That he hated himself too much to even think about going all in with you? That he had to secretly deal drugs just so he could provide for himself? That he wanted to earn more money so he could finally move to an apartment and not live in that god damn park anymore? Eddie knew that he never deserved you and maybe it was time to finally get things out of the way instead of dancing around like this.

-

There was a knock on his trailer around the afternoon and looks out the window to see you and your shiny car. Your car looked like a sore thumb in the trailer park. He knew that you knew he saw you. Closing his eyes, Eddie opened the door, a weak smile on his face.

“You’re finally here,” Eddie says, trying to get a reaction out of you. You only nodded your head, visibly upset at him. Eddie watched as your lips pursed, trying to suppress all of the emotion that you’ve been bottling.

“We need to talk, Eddie,” you told him. “Just…is your uncle home?”

“No,” he replied, straightening up. “He just left,”

You nodded, coming inside without his consent. You breathed in deeply. This was it. This was what Eddie wanted, right? He should’ve been more careful with his wishes because this was it and Eddie dreaded it.

“I’m sorry,” he starts but he knew that it was too late to save anything at all. Still, would it hurt to at least try? He loves you, he really did. “I’m sorry, please. I just—I just…”

“Just what?” you asked.

“I heard your parents talk about me when I was supposed to get you that drink,” he said, trying to look for anything to focus on until he reaches your neck, devoid of any indication of the gift he got for you. “Said that I couldn’t afford college, that I couldn’t provide for you. He’s right, you know? Your dad? My biggest dream is to just move out of this trailer. Doesn’t matter if it’s another trailer, an apartment, or somewhere out of Hawkins. Where would that take you? You have big plans. New York or California and I don’t want to be the reason why you were stuck here,”

“You should’ve talked to me about it,” you said. “You shouldn’t have casted me aside. I was so lonely for weeks, Eddie. I don’t even know what to do. You’ve been blowing me off until you decided that you didn’t give a fuck about me anymore,”

“Is that why you’ve been spending your time with Harrington? I saw you leave with him kast night. He’s always waiting for me to fuck up so he could scoop you up and make you feel all better,” he spits.

“He’s my friend, Eddie! How many times do I have to tell you this? We’ve been friends way before you even came into the picture. He and Nancy broke up last night if you were so fucking concerned about him,” you replied, the same venom in your tone. “I don’t get anything at all. It’s not your job to worry about me and Steve when you didn’t even care enought to soare me a glance. You should’ve told me instead of shutting me off. That’s all I wanted. I was waiting for you to call and you didn’t. You never…called. Is it too much to ask for my boyfriend to actually want to spend time with me?”

“And is it really too much to ask to be accepted by your friends and family?” he asks. “We live in different worlds and I could never give you everything when that’s all you’ve ever known,”

“I never wanted anything from you, Eddie. I just wanted you to actually give a shit about me. We would’ve made it work,” you said.

“Look, I was drunk tonight, okay?” he tries to save.

“Don’t blame it on the fucking alcohol. You were sober and you know it! I was so excited to finally see you and the first thing you do is flirt with someone else and deal drugs? You didn’t have to do that,” you cried, shaking your head in frustration.

“But nobody’s willing to employ the freak of Hawkins! I didn’t want you to ask your dad to employ me when he already thinks of me as a charity case. Nobody wants anything to do with me and I really needed the money. You don’t understand shit because you’re you,”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, a tremble in your voice. Gone was the anger and the frustration. You were just sad.

“Don’t pretend that you don’t see it,” he replied. “I’m Eddie Munson. I’m trailer trash, I’m poor, I’m stupid, I’m me and you’re you. Two loving parents, living in a good house. That chandelier your have in your dining room probably costs more than this whole fucking trailer. The shoes that you’re wearing could probably feed me and my uncle for a month and you really expect everything to work out?” Eddie knew that he was being vicious.

“I thought you were sorry,” you whimpered.

“I thought so too,” he replied coldly.

“It’s not my fault for being me, Eddie. It’s not my fault that you’re not like me,” you tried and Eddie only chuckled.

“Not like what? Tell me. Enlighten me. Poor, right? That’s what you wanted. Come on. Say it. Say that it’s not your fault that I’m so fucking poor and that I live in this shithole while you’d probably end up with someone with a lakehouse or some rich people shit like that. Come on, tell me! Tell me that I’m poor!”

“Stop it, Eddie!” you screamed. “Stop! This…this between us…it’s your fault why we could never work out. It’s your fault why I’m walking away. I’m fucking walking away. I don’t want to stick around when everything feels so, so wrong and it has! For weeks! But I tried to understand you…tried to understand why you hate me. I tried to understand why you were suddenly so cold but I couldn’t. I never understood and I still don’t understand,” you sobbed, tears springing from your eyes. You really didn’t want to cry about him. What happened to the two of you? You were so in love. “You loved me until you decided that you didn’t give a shit about me anymore,”

He loves you. He really loves you but you didn’t have a future with him. He has to let you go. He hated himself that moment, hated what he;s about to say next. Hated everything but the angel crying in his trailer.

“Where’s the necklace? Seems like you don’t use it anymore. Mind if you give it back? Really gotta pawn it so I can buy more stash from Rick,” he asks, trying to contain himself. If you weren’t already sad, the face you made when he asked that sunk his heart even deeper.

“Here,” you nodded, fishing it out from your pocket. He didn’t know if you were finally accepting everything but he smiled sadly.

“I really didn’t want us to end this way, Eds,” you sighed with a heavy heart. He reaches out to wipe your tears but you shake your head. You knew that if he asked you to stay, you would. If he reaches out for you, you’d probably give into him but nothing’s fair. Eddie knew that everything was far beyond what was repairable and he had to let you go.

“I’m really…” he chokes. “sorry,”

“I know. I’m sorry too,” you said, wiping your face with your sweater. He nods and takes his chance. Just one final moment before you walk away from his life forever. You cried as he embraced you, one final moment of love before you turned into strangers again. He lets go of you too soon and kisses your cheek.

“I’m really sorry,”

“I have to go,”

Eddie nods, trying to contain himself. This was what he wanted right? What he worked so hard for in those weeks? He watches your car speed out of the driveway and finally lets go. Was it too much to ask to finally be happy and content? Was he too greedy for even wanting you in his life? He would never know.

-

The school year ends and you haven’t spoken to him since you left his trailer. There were shy glances, tight-lipped smiles, and nods that you shared. Eddie was known as the school dealer now. You graduated high school with Steve and he doesn’t. He failed all of his subjects when you broke up. What was the point anyway? It wasn’t like he was going to college.

College.

Just months ago, you were both dreaming of running away to New York or California. You, studying; him, playing at a local bar and working as a tattoo artist. He learned through the grapevine that you were going to California because it was farther from Indiana. He knew why. Everyone knew why and he was happy that you were finally getting what you wanted.

Over the summer, he’s seen moving trucks drive away from your house. He saw Jason Carver drive the car that you rode in when you went to the trailer. How was it that you were a stranger now? You were his just yesterday, laughing, kissing. He missed you. He will miss you and he knows that. He’ll look for your face in Hawkins but he knows that you’re probably not going to come back any time soon. The only person that he actually wished to stay was thousands of miles away but he couldn’t let go. He couldn’t help but think if you’d still be together, living in the apartment he saved up for, if he wasn’t such an asshole. He knows that soon, when you meet each other again, there'll be a welcoming smile, remembering all the good things.

But that will come after a long time of healing. For now, he settles with beguiling himself by writing songs about you that he’ll never sing; his great lost love.

A/N: Let me know if you want a part two! Also, my requests are open! TAGLIST:  @rayodesol97 @moistmocca @munsonology​ @sadbitchfangirl​ @bebe0701​ @tayhar811​ @aol19​ @eddiesprincess86​ @undeadgirlsworld​ @rosemarythl @rosemary_thl @eddiethesexy​ @sister-cirice​ @weaslyslut01 @himynameisjeff​ @captainweirdo42​ @alyisdead​

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Wednesdays are for WIPs

i feel like everyday is for WIPs lately since i have so many going but yes it's wednesday to that means posting about them not just attempting to slog through and get them done lol

thanks so much for the tags @anincompletelist @suseagull04 @itsmaybitheway @sophie1973 @heysweetheart-writes @magicandarchery @sunnysideprince @firenati0n @taste-thewaste @piratefalls @hgejfmw-hgejhsf - can't wait to go check out what ya posted today ❤️

so i'm sticking with this tzp inspired acd one 'gotta sign 'em all' as i need to get it out of my WIP folder and hopefully posting more here will make me write more - and figure out how to weave the past and present bits properly lol (YIKES!)

The first person to approach Alex is a newer resident from the shelter. Alex is helping her with her emancipation, and she has one of the copies of the book that Alex brought in a few weeks ago after hearing from Pez that the shelter was out of copies. He loves that Henry is so loved, and everyone wants to read his book. He hears so many places he goes how Henry’s book has spoken to them in some way. She walks over almost shyly, even though Alex is around her enough to know she’s definitely not. Still, he also knows there’s a difference between them talking at the shelter after school/work or on the way to or after court and now when there is a whole store full of people in just this one part of the store. He decides to help her out and says, “Hey, I see you got your copy of Henry’s book; glad ya got one before the vultures at that shelter swooped in.” She giggles and is almost instantly the girl Alex is used to, “ACD, now that I have my copy, I hear you do this thing, and I have a pen,” she opens the book and continues, “And look, here it’s the dedication page. Seriously you two are fucking saps; I read that damn thing when I got it; I almost lost all respect for you. I was drowning in so much sap knowing you go around sighing all over and signing your name to it.” Alex smiles as Pez nudges him from the next chair, laughing, “Are you sure you want me to sign it then? I wouldn’t want it to be too much sap for you.” “Bullshit, I need bragging rights. Do you know how many people at school will be going crazy when I say I collected the pair of signatures? It’s like getting some elite Pokemon card; I can ride off that fame for weeks.” Alex laughs and takes the book, “Well, I guess if it’s going for a good cause, I must.” He signs and hands it back, and she is off, back towards the group of kids she came with, with a parting, “Later, ACD.” She is no more than gone when June pipes up, “Jesus Christ, no wonder you get along so well with the kids at the shelter; they’re all just like you.” “I am much more mature than a bunch of teenagers-“ Alex gets out before being interrupted by Nora.

ok so it's tagging time and i hafta assume most the rest of ya have done this if ya were gonna but if i check to verify that it'll be even later so - i'm just a tagging and assuming there was an open tag if ya already did it and i'll probably find it lol ❤️ @adreamareads @agame-writes @bitbybitwrites @dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03 @england-would-fall @firstsprinces @forever-fixating @inexplicablymine @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @nocoastposts @priincebutt @stellarm @typicalopposite and well open tag for anyone who's even later than i am and wants to still do this lol

[lakesbian]

i guess it's hard to get a read on how much he actually cares about palatine and dauphine or reciprocates their dislike of him? also why did he say that about "sexual favors"

(this post is about the fanfiction sword and sorcery, which you should read because it's good. it's written by tumblr users shakertwelve and nonplatonicsubtext about their estateverse au, which you can read more about in the estateposting tag on tumblr user shakertwelve's blog. would i ever lie to you about a fanfic recommendation.)

ok ahem. i've posted about alec's opinions on palatine and dauphine before bc i think the dynamic potential there is hilarious and i'm so delighted that they got put into the fic. the fancy frilly little freaques are fiiiighting!

Alec Is So Entirely 100% Certainly Without Doubt more mad about palatine and dauphine than they are about him. it would frankly be more accurate to ask how much victor and amelia reciprocate his dislike, because they are living RENT fucking free in his sad little repressed brain. but, like all of his emotions, it's just not super obvious because of how repressed he is--he feels and displays everything in a very muted way. the posts i linked get into the main bits of Why He Does Not Like Them At All, but to elaborate based on analysis of what's actually in the fic:

“Regent had a run-in with them a while back, before he joined the team,” Tattletale said. “He was new to the city, so he didn’t realize what his costume choice would make people think of.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the Estate capes. “But he was doing things they don’t do and going to parts of town they stay out of, which caused some confusion. Eventually Dauphine and Palatine tracked him down to have a talk about it. It didn’t go well.”

as we can extrapolate from above, alec's history with them is like this:

he shows up to brockton bay as a severely maladapted, depressed, Generally Unwell cult-escapee on the young (and probably malnourished) side of 13 with effectively nothing to his name but his powers

as a weak cape without a team and zero social or systematic connections to turn to for help, he's forced to do very small-scale villainy just to scrape by enough to survive. and the entire time he is wearing his costume that veritably Screams "i am a special little prince please look at how wonderful i am." jesus christ he needs a hug.

these random cunts, palatine and dauphine, pull up and basically tell him to Fuck Off and stop Stealing Their Family's Schtick

these random cunts are also dressed fancy like him, and dauphine especially is someone alec would identify with fashion-wise, given that it's explicitly stated that her costume is princess-like. "Even with her elaborate costume, she looked more like a child’s princess doll than an actual princess." taylor rags on it, but it's still princess-like

this random fancy cunt, dauphine, is the daughter of...marquis, an incredibly successful, fancy villain with long hair who has a lot of money and lives in a mansion and, from alec's perspective, loves and cares about her dearly and buys her nicey clothes. and beyond just that, she has a brother who--instead of tormenting her & then laughing about it--wears a special fancy gleaming knight costume and bridal carries her around and is so sweet and nicey to her if anything bad happens. like, for example, alec getting pissy at her and tripping her.

we already know alec gets Insanely, Malevolently, Incandescently Jealous over someone he's engaged in hostilities w/ having a nice family. (see: him doing all that shit to sophia). we also know that he isn't very good at recognizing this jealousy in himself. (see: aisha revealing in late worm that alec only realized that he had done all that shit to sophia out of a jealous rage like a week or two later when he was talking to her about it.)

which is to say: alec sees dauphine as being Sorta Like Him, but if he had a 100% ideal family (dashing golden knight brother that takes care of her! rich fancy father who protects them and buys them nice shit! and they all live in a mansion!), and LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU. HE IS SO INSANELY JEALOUS HE HOPES THE ENTIRE ESTATE GETS HIT BY A NUCLEAR WARHEAD AND EXPLODES. ...all subconsciously, of course. he expresses this thru things like mocking her for being "a baby about a little trip" &c--insulting the vulnerability & familial care he certainly wishes he could have, while fully unaware why seeing it annoys him so much.

but i digress. keeping all of that in mind, you can see why alec would be infuriated & jealous towards them even if they were completely neutral towards him. but they weren't neutral towards him--instead, these people he views as being Like Him, But Living Out His Wildest Dreams, approached him to hassle him for accidentally appearing like he was one of them. local loving royal villain family approaches boy who is obviously projecting subconscious desire to be a beloved prince onto his costume design and goes "quit stealing our vibes," boy reacts with a parasocial grudge. his weird complexes about them shall reign eternal. he wishes he had a second, cooler palatine to beat the first, lamer palatine to death with hammers, and then bridal carry him to stand dismissively over dauphine's prostrate form as she weeps over the first, lamer palatine's corpse. and also he wants the second, cooler palatine to be hand-feeding him a bag of chips ahoy the entire time.

...i should stress again, this is alllll more or less entirely subconscious. alec doesn't know what the fuck he's feeling ever, this just comes across as a subdued vague annoyance/disdain for them.

so, why the weird "sexual favors" remark? it genuinely was not intended to be a harassing comment, nor do i think he genuinely would say he believes that marquis prostitutes his daughter if he thought about it for a second. but he does identify with dauphine in the sense that they're aesthetically similar enough for him to be extra-jealous about her. and so upon hearing "dauphine's favor," he takes the meaning of "you can have a favor from my kid" he's most used to as a child who was prostituted by his own villain father, and he projects it onto her. if i want to read into it beyond that, i think he might be unconsciously/impulsively trying to poke a hole in their family--a sort of [hopeful] "marquis sucks :)?" where he'd like to hear that marquis isn't as much of an envy-worthy dad as alec thought. meanwhile from the estate's perspective he was just a creep for no fucking reason. there are other, far more important things for lisa to be paying attention to during this scene, so i don't think she was wasting any time reading alec, but if she Was she certainly would've gotten a good show of severe mental unwellness.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

doesn't placido's route literally have you kill yusei in front of aki and then he taunts her for it like "now you know how it is to lose the one you love"?? THAT WAS SO FUCKED

OK YEAH. YEAH. ABOUT THAT. SO THAT ROUTE IS ACTUALLY PRIMO/PLACIDO'S TAG FORCE 6 ROUTE. AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY GODDAMN DAY.

like. the Three Emperors arent even like Tier-1 characters in TF6, they dont get unique story routes like the core cast, they dont get a unique endroute picture like in Tag Force 5, they just get plugged into the same WRGP team ups for all of their heart events. it's actually extremely hard to find adequate archiving of their events cuz, again, theyre not 'main' characters in this game. BUT FORTUNATELY. I AM UNWELL. AND I PLAYED ALL THREE OF THEIR ROUTES. AND ARCHIVED ALL THE ENDINGS. I assumed the three of them were gonna have some kind of generic endgame due to this. AND BOY WAS I. GREATLY INCORRECT.

Primo's storyline DOES END WITH HIM JUST KILLING YUSEI DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF AKIZA. AND YOURE COMPLICIT IN IT.

LIKE. DUDE??!? IN THE FUNNY YUGIOH VIDEO GAME FOR THE PSP???!?! YUSEI IS DEAD DEAD, HE DOESNT COME BACK HERE. JESUS CHRIST.

and then as if that wasn't enough, IMMEDIATELY after that the Ark Cradle descends and you have to hop on over there with Primo. And then you get there and he basically tells you how Relieved and Excited He Is To Die, and You Should Be Too.

^this fucks me up so much. that little smile. guy who is SO excited to give his life for a cause that doesn't give a shit about him. also sorry about my deck name JDFJGDF

Anyway he also talks to you about being created from despair and being made to act as God's vessel of punishment and how the people of this timeline should accept the fate God ("""God""") has decreed for them and it's honestly i think it's all one of my absolute favorite Tag Force conversations, it says SO much about Primo's character and it deserves a dedicated post of its own sometime.

And then it ends with him being like "that woman is going to come here and she's going to be pissed and it's our job to guard the Ark Cradle now" which just presents, such an amazing and haunting concept in that regard. This idea of Akiza leading the charge of the Signers to avenge Yusei's death. my GOD.

it's so fucked. it makes me cuckoo bananas. why did they go so hard on this story route that isnt even for one of TF6's main characters. Bad Guy Wins AU REAL!!

[meraki-yao]

You don't have to post it if you don't want to, you can also block me or delete it's ok, I just need to vent because this situation is hitting rock bottom and I can't stand how people don't want to see the problem:

In short: there is a video of the q&a where the female producer gets Casey pronouns wrong when talking about them. It's totally ok to point this out and give respect that Casey deserves BUT who was given the main blame? Taylor obviously, despite him also using the right pronouns during the panel, is guilty of not correcting the woman in front of everyone so he's bad again.

But this time we're not talking about that handful of idiot Nick fans, we're talking about the rwrb fandom that says they love him so much but once again for the umpteenth time they threw him under the bus without thinking twice even though he had no fault. And it will be the third time that the same fandom has exaggerated something against him, subsequently causing serious problems ( like racism and homophobia and doxxing which took place in december where everyone then washed their hands of it pretending nothing happened and they did nothing wrong)

And I'm so tired of reading that we just have to ignore that social because that social is the most active and followed and we know Taylor a few days ago saw stuff and posted and today Casey saw and posted a story. That social causes damage and everything they bring there is seen and affects all of them. So no it's not enough to ignore and put our hands over our eyes and just talk about how beautiful the sky is and I'm so tired and sad and heartbroken because every day even unconsciously they make it more and more evident that there isn't the same affection and respect for both, it's not true, one will always be seen with a critical eye "yes you are beautiful, perfect, so sexy, wow how beautiful these photos BUT you are a bit problematic, BUT you should be better than that, BUT you should learn better, oh disappointed but not surprised" and it is obviously always the poc man who has to be better who has to do better even when he does absolutely nothing wrong.

And this comes from the people who say they follow him and love him. It's no longer possible, that man has been attacked every single day for months, now he must also fall into the transphobic category because he didn't correct another person in front of everyone even though HE had used the right pronouns. But do we realize that this shit fucks up your mental health in the long run? But why doesn't anyone realize how serious the situation is? I cannot take it anymore and I feel like I'm screaming into the void and witnessing the moment when everything will get worse and fall apart and then we will be here sad because it didn't have to go that way for him

…Woah.

Jesus Christ what the fuck.

Okay um, here we go. This is a monster of response to write but here I am.

I’m gonna start by saying I am not a direct witness of any of this. I didn’t know about the misgendering issue during the Q&A, I didn’t really notice it when I watched the Q&A myself yesterday. I’m not on twitter and I don’t follow or look at Taylor or Nick’s tags. All insults I seen regarding the boys are either from assholes trying to bother me or from people who want to talk about the phenomena, both in my inbox.

Regarding misgendering Casey:

Firstly I’m gonna state the obvious and say of course it’s a bad thing to misgender someone. Don’t do that

However I will also say this.

In regards to the extent of reaction: it’s not always done in malice. And in this case, I think it’s a genuine slip up, which happens. I had to consciously remind myself to deliberately use the right pronouns after my friend came out to me as non-binary. I had to correct my friend using the wrong pronouns when talking about our mutual non-binary student. It’s not ideal, but it happens. It’s not mean, it’s just careless. And please note that I’m not saying it’s ok to misgender someone, no it’s absolutely not but I also don’t think this case calls for a big reaction. ��If someone maliciously, deliberately, publicly and repeatedly misgenders someone, that’s problematic, that should be called out by the masses to this extent. This, we should acknowledge, make a note, and move on. I think there’s some cases where the reaction to certain issues are massively disproportional, this is one of them.

In regards to Taylor not correcting Sarah and being targeted for it: Firstly, Taylor didn’t misgender them, Sarah did. Taylor used the right pronouns. In fact when they hung out in New York last August, Taylor used the right pronouns on his Instagram story. Secondly, he might not have picked that up. Thirdly, even if he did, it’s awkward to suddenly cut off a monologue, let alone one from friend or not, is someone on a higher level than you, to correct a mistake that doesn’t directly affect comprehensive. Fourthly, bystanders are encouraged to step into situations, but they’re certainly not obligated to. So placing the blame or putting so much blame on Taylor is ridiculous and unfair.

In regards to Casey’s Instagram story: I understand where the connection comes from but honestly… I think there’s also a possibility that that’s just a post that Casey saw and wanted to share without reference to this issue. They don’t have Twitter, and it’s been several days since the screening. Truthfully, everyone involved seems really friendly with each other, and how this very project is advocating for LGBT rights, I don’t really believe that if they were aware of the misgendering, they wouldn’t apologize to Casey.

So replying to the “You don’t have to post it…” anon, I agree that putting any blame on Taylor is kind of ridiculous in this case, just like what happened in December. I think there’s a portion of “fans” that are fucking around with this and genuinely hurting him, but there might also be a portion of people who have a problematic/complicated perception of this type of situation, and it’s not targeted specifically towards Taylor. Either way I disapprove with what they’re doing, but here’s a hypothesis.

Regarding the damage these stuff causes:

I’ve addressed the insults thrown at Taylor multiple times by now. And I kind of agree with “I hate that there are idiots…” anon that really disgusting insults thrown at Nick tend to be overlooked, it’s not like there’s no Nick haters, there is. But because of the inherent racism, attacks on Taylor are much more obvious. Either way it’s cruel and disgusting and the boys don’t deserve to be thrown insults like that, nor do they deserve to have people enact cruelty in their name. Rarely is anyone deserving of that, and in the case of these two boys who have been proven to kind and wonderful people, it’s definitely wrong.

I’m tired of reading and seeing these bullshit on social media as well, which is why I actively avoid it, but “You don’t have to post it” anon, I definitely understand and share your worries of this fucking up the boys mental health.

But the sad truth is that we can’t decide what he can see and what he can’t. We’re just gonna need to trust him, to believe that he knows how to regulate the exposure of response he gets, that he knows what comments matter and what don’t, that he knows how to take care of his mental health. He actively avoids twitter, so I think he has an idea on what he can engage with an what he shouldn’t. Same goes with Nick, all we can do is believe he knows his mental health and how to regulate it. Meanwhile, those of us who aren’t assholes, we’ll show them all the love we have for him. I think public figures all struggle with this to some extent, so when they stepped into this career, I believe they saw this as a possibility, so they’re prepared to some degree. That doesn’t make any of this okay, but again, ultimately, we’re not people directly in their lives. We can’t do anything else practical.

Ultimately I want to say, be kind, compassionate and considerate. We can’t control what others do, and truth be told when it comes to the majority of the haters, I don’t think calling them out will change anything. They have their mind set. So the best we can do, is manage and control what we say and do, and to some degree, what we see and engage with.

[pirdmystery]

sylvain jose gautier for the ask game

oiuhgggghhhggggggggggg…

first impression: it is important to note that i literally got into 3h because i knew it as “that game with sylvain in it.” i didn’t even know what to expect from him other than that. so when dimitri introduces him as “a bit of a skirt chaser” or whatever i’m like lol ok?? what??

impression now: if anyone is interested… go through my sylvain tags to get a feel for this. i’ve been spiraling lately. suffice to say i am SO sick about him like more and more every day. christ alive talk about a guy with problems. the way he is so smart and so soft but he is absolutely determined not to let anyone know either of those things… noooo I’m actually just a wacky little guy don’t worry about me… i’m just the comic relief… doing fine… yeah i know i said “burn until we meet again” and “see you in hell i guess” but that’s just because I’m being soooooo funny and normal… i’ve also never cried in my life btw…

fav moment: there are so many blink and you miss it unhinged sylvain moments in this damn game. i’ve talked about it recently but the fact. that if he does badly on a lesson and you pick console instead of critique he gets really bitchy and pissed off. like jesus christ. sorry for trying to extend you some gentleness buddy will not make that mistake again.

also let’s take a moment to recognize the iconic “it killed my brother and now it’s mine.” certified sylvain moment

idea for a story: i have billions. i never stop emotionally tormenting this man. got a 20 years post cf angstfest about he and felix coming. beyond that i am obsessed with the prospect of a sylvain/mercedes/ingrid ot3 and someday i am going write a fic with them that isn’t just the extensive smut that currently exists in my google docs

fav relationship: i have got to go with ingrid. i do very much ship sylgrid romantically and they make me sooooooooo unwell but even if i didn’t their friendship is just so important to me in a way i really struggle to put words to. the way they understand each other perfectly but that makes it almost harder for them to get through to each other because of all the layers of bullshit they have built up around the true version of themselves that the other sees. they bump heads a lot but the way it’s so obvious that under whatever they might be clashing about and the baggage of their years of friendship there is this foundation of unconditional love that is not going anywhere no matter what oh god suddenly i cant see the screen and there’s something happening to my eyes oh god

a fun thing about sylvain is that i could write equally unhinged paragraphs about his relationships with mercedes and dorothea!! something about girls he would normally flirt with and their response is :) hey i see you btw! and sylvain is forced to crumble like a little baby. i cannot get enough of that shit. get seen idiot. i’ve also been known to enjoy some yurivain and dimivain and claudevain for not dissimilar reasons.

unpopular opinion: once again idk what is popular!! i feel like my shipping tastes with him are not the most popular but everyone is nice to me when i talk about them so. it’s all good

favorite headcanon: most bisexual man on the planet. i also love making him work service jobs lmao. he works at subway in my sylgrid fic but there are so many other things i want to subject him to. he should have to sing happy birthday to people at applebees. he should be a barista at a shitty coffee shop. mostly this is because it’s funny but i also think would be deeply in character for sylvain to plant himself somewhere far below his skill level and languish there as if there were nothing else he could do about it.

tysm for letting me go off about him… man. sylvain.

[ramonaflow]

Summer Word Challenge

Weekly word: Bathing Suit

Thank you for the tag @mallpretzles 🥰

I know it's not summer anymore but I did want to complete this challenge.

Under the cut because it's long and smutty 😅

"We could go for a swim?"

"Mmm no. I don't think so."

"Why not? You were literally just complaining that it was too warm. A dip in the creek will cool you down."

"Ugh. Who knows what kind of creatures are lurking below the surface. And besides, we haven't brought bathing suits."

"David! There aren't any creatures lurking below the surface. And we don't need our bathing suits." Patrick looks around, just to double check. "There's nobody else here, could be fun…" He raises his non-existent eyebrows, fingertips starting to wander up David's thigh. David's breath catches as Patrick's fingers travel higher, "c'mon David. I could make it worth your while."

"Look, we've talked about this before. You know how I feel about this and you won't convince me!"

"Well, David," Patrick stands up, stripping his shirt off and throwing it at David. "I'm going in either way," he states, while slowly bending down and stepping out of his shorts. "It's up to you. You can stay here or you can come…" He catches David's eye and David knows he's going to follow him, he'd hoped he wouldn't be so easy to convince.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fine!" David scrambles to get up, hastily removing his own clothes and following Patrick. "Hold on! I'm coming Patrick, wait for me!"

Patrick looks like he's trying to hold a laugh in, and David hates how well he knows him already.

"What? What're you laughing at?" David asks indignantly.

"Nothing! I just thought you said something about me not being able to convince you."

"Yes, well. It's just that it's starting to get dark and I didn't want to stay over there on my own so…"

"Ok David." Patrick holds out his hand for David to take and then bounds toward the water dragging David along with him. As they reach the water's edge David lets go of Patrick and pauses while Patrick wades in. "Come on in David, the water's lovely and cool."

"Just give me a minute!" David dips his toe in to test it and then gingerly steps in.

"I promise it's fine—"

"I know!" David answers sharply.

Patrick moves swiftly toward David and wraps an arm around him, leading him further in until they're waist deep. "Um, that's far enough thank you! I need to be able to get out quickly if the need arises."

"Everything's fine David, you have nothing to worry about, honestly!" Patrick pulls David flush against him, arms winding around his waist and whispers, "Now, what can I do to make you more comfortable?"

"Mmm, I can think of one or two things." David brings both palms up to Patrick's cheeks and kisses him. Gently at first, but then Patrick's hands are also moving, one grasping the side of David's neck, the other around the back of his head, fingers twisting into his hair, roughly gripping and pulling his face down towards him, kissing him more forcefully. David moves with him willingly, he loves it when Patrick takes charge, loves being manhandled. He moans against Patrick's mouth and Patrick takes advantage of his open mouth by firmly pushing his tongue inside. David sucks his tongue and Patrick groans loudly, the sound shooting straight to David's cock. Then Patrick runs his hands down David's back, squeezing his ass hard, pulling him into him, and David relishes the feel of his solid body pressed against him, goosebumps prickling as the water cascades down his overheated skin. God, he's so fucking hot. David lifts his leg, wrapping it around Patrick's hip, trying to get some friction and feels him hardening against him. "Oh Jesus Christ, David. You feel so good," Patrick pants into his ear and then he hauls his thigh even higher and lifts him, and holy fuck, David might come just from that move. David wraps both of his legs around his waist, hooking his ankles together, clutching Patrick's shoulders, holding on for dear life as Patrick thrusts against him, sliding their cocks together. David is lost in sensation, the white hot heat searing through him, not realising how on the edge he is. A few more seconds is all it's gonna take—

"Wait. Stop!" David gasps suddenly, one hand on Patrick's chest.

Patrick stills immediately, "What? Did I do something?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just—" David starts to unpeel his limbs from Patrick's body, trying to climb down off of Patrick as gracefully as possible.

"What is it?" Patrick holds him steady, easing him back into the water.

"Look, I told you before, Patrick. We are not fucking in an open body of water."

"David, I'm sure it's—"

"We would be inviting all sorts of trouble, think of the bacteria!"

"Mmm bacteria. I love it when you talk dirty. Please tell me more." Patrick smirks.

"Oh ha ha! Did anybody ever tell you that you're funny?"

"Well actually, yes. I've been told on occasion that I'm pretty hilarious." Patrick winks.

"Hilarious? Mmm. Yes, well. Time to go Mr funny man."

"Ok, David "

They quickly gather their belongings, wrapping towels around themselves, and head back to the car, shivering in the rapidly cooling night air. Once they're back at the car, Patrick grabs David, pushing him forcefully against the door, kissing him hungrily, running a hand up his chest and pinching his nipple. "Now, where where we?" Patrick leans past David, deposits the bag on top of the car, quickly rummaging through it to find his shirt, before dropping the shirt at his feet and sinking to his knees so he's eye level with David's cock. Then he just stares at it for a second, looking at it like it's the most delicious thing he's ever seen. He licks his lips and leans in and David is ready to explode.

David gasps, "Oh fuck, yes please, Patrick," as Patrick wastes no time peeling down his wet underwear and getting to work at getting him off. David winds his fingers into Patrick's hair, gripping it tight while Patrick engulfs him, taking him all the way down until he feels his nose resting against his abdomen. David watches Patrick close his eyes, God he's so beautiful like this, feels more than hears Patrick moaning around him, feels like Patrick is trying to set some kind of record for how quickly and efficiently he can make David come. Then Patrick does something with his tongue, which is… what the fuck? David doesn't even have time to warn Patrick before he's seeing stars, pulsing into Patrick's hot mouth, Patrick greedily swallowing it all down, sucking and licking the end of his cock so as not to miss a drop. Then he sits back on his heels, wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and smiles at David, looking pretty pleased with himself.

David's legs are like jelly and he feels himself wobbling but Patrick is back on his feet, pulling his briefs back up, arms wrapping around him, holding him up, kissing him and then bundling him into the passenger seat. David snuggles himself down into his seat feeling relaxed and content, in love, his brain helpfully informs him, which… no. It's far too early for any of that, while Patrick packs the car up. He must have started to fall asleep because the next thing he hears is Patrick clicking his seatbelt in and then he feels soft fingertips caressing his cheek, "Time to go home, baby." But David already is home, right here, sitting next to Patrick.

[r-osehips]

snooped your tags, so: 12 and 16 for the year end book asks? please and thank you!

YESSSS thank you oh my god

12: Any books that disappointed you?

16: What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

THE FUCKING OVERSTORY. Jesus CHRIST. ok, the descriptions of trees and how they communicate with one another and with the wider ecosystem, those descriptions were beautiful, though sometimes they edged into purple prose. but as soon as this man (author Richard Powers) starts trying to write human beings, it all goes to hell. no one is convincing. every attempt at romance is hamfisted and always heterosexual (except for the two bi women who sordidly had sexual histories with women that they never dared speak of and which the men around them found arousing). the way he describes the character who uses a wheelchair it is some of the most jaw-droppingly ableist language I have read in a modern novel, and also sooo so repetitive and hitting you over the head with the same adjectives every time. and then there's this female character who he has a huge boner for, which, great, i can support that in general, but unforch for him this resulted in weird objectifying language and ridiculous situations, such as, for example, the scene where this girl (who briefly was dead and soaking wet and naked, he described that vividly) -- this girl has been living in a redwood sequoia for months. no shower, no soap, no haircuts, no nothing. she's filthy. and she's, canonically, 200 feet in the air. and this logger who wants to kill the tree, he's shouting up at her and the guy she's with (and they are, i cannot emphasize this enough, 200 feet up). she leans over the railing of the treehouse to yell back at him. he says "WOAH you're GORGEOUS what are you doing up there when you could have any man you wanted!" and she's like "aw ha ha you should see me up close" and it's like. HE CAN'T SEE HER. HE LITERALLY CAN'T SEE HER. YOUR OBSESSION WITH HAVING YOUR MALE PROXIES HIT ON HER AND OBJECTIFY HER HAS LED TO THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR LAST SHREDS OF PLAUSIBILITY. SOOOO FUCKING STUPID in a good book this would have been ENDEARING but no -- no, not here! because this, despite its countless awards and accolades, IS NOT A GOOD FUCKING BOOK. and yet it is so long. and it drags so much. and for what.

(from this prompt list if anyone wants to ask more)

EDITING TO ADD: WAIT. I forgot the thing I ACTUALLY hated the most about it!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is that. ok. so there's a refrain that happens throughout the book where a mysterious voice inside a character's head intones something like the most miraculous beings in 4 billion years of existence need our help. and the characters understand this to mean that the trees need the help of humans, because, like. deforestation. climate change. rampant destruction of forest ecosystems. etc. and that would be very fitting because the whole premise of the book is about the wonder of trees.

BUT NO. it turns out that the voice was THE TREES TALKING ABOUT HUMANS. as in: the trees are saying that WE need THEIR help and they feel soooooooo bad for us and they're simply begging for us to LET THEM SAVE US because it's ALL ABOUT US and the trees only matter because they're important TO US.

and I just think that if you are good at writing trees and shit at writing humans, and you're trying to write a sweeping novel about the glory and genius of nature, and you purport to be critiquing the destructive self-centeredness of much of modern humanity, then maybe you shouldn't undercut your entire fucking narrative by putting humans at the center of the universe. GOD. it's so stupid.

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x04 review

Honestly, for someone who is meant to push people away and not tell anyone what he's dealing with, Conrad is pretty open about the stuff he's going through. He straight up tells Belly's brother he's having a panic attack and what he can do to help instead of just yelling at him to go the fuck away or something. Idk man.

"Talk about anything" launches into a speech about the beach and how Conrad is the coolest person in the world. The funniest thing about things like this is dialogue about "inconsequential" things would make their bond seem more realistic instead of pointed talks about memories and how cool the other person is. One of the reasons why the gang in T70s works is because they just talk about dumb shit together

"He's grown into quite the asshole" I mean has he, Skye? Your mother is being unnecessarily hostile about the whole thing, it seems like he's just matching her energy idk.

Like this isn't even me being team Conrad or anything because I don't care about him but he hasn't DONE anything for the way everyone talks about him.

Like he's isn't warm when she talks to him in his room but his energy is different because Julia's energy is different.

Jfc they're really trying to make me believe that Taylor and brother dude like each other with how they antagonize each other but this is as performative as Belly trying to be twirly and giddy around Conrad.

Steven. I'm not going to remember that.

"Let's do some drills down by the beach, volleyball camp is in five days." "I haven't touched a ball in months" isn't that why you do the drills, Belly?

"It was hard enough for me to get this one" *laughs* Why is that funny?

Belly actress does the Katie Holmes shrug. It was annoying then, it's annoying now.

"Well we're your family too" even though I kissed you then your brother then made the wake about me because Conrad lay his head on his ex-girlfriend's lap and I admittedly forgot to check up on you when Susannah died because I was too busy focusing on Conrad which consisted of me telling him to stop being sad at prom and then breaking up with him.

The only time Conrad's lack of a facial expression has worked is him looking at Belly when she's all "the magical sea breeze will cool you down"and his face is like that the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Did Belly tell Conrad her plan of schmoozing Skye and I just forgot it because it's very possible, I'm barely paying attention but if she hadn't, maybe she could. Or is this supposed to show how Belly and Jere are best friends now.

Skye doesn't come across as an introvert, they just come across as kind of an ass. "I don't smile, I don't high five, the corners of my mouth might turn up but I WILL NOT SMILE" we get it, you're cool.

No one on this show is likeable.

Them getting ready to play laser tag is literally the ONLY TIME they seem like friends.

I mean, we had pizza for *Christmas* dinner. OH THE HORROR.

Are whaling boats fancy?

I don't need to see this rock climbing scene. Next.

How many Taylor Swift songs do we NEED in a show. I understand I'm the only one who thinks this.

"It was supremely satisfying watching you wipe the floor with Conrad after everything he put you through" YOU MEAN BEING SAD??

"You used to cry every time you looked at the Tower of Terror" yeah but he's, like, seventeen now, Belly.

"He made it so hard not to love him." I MEAN HOW? BECAUSE HE SPOKE? Jesus Christ.

"Used to love him, I mean" JERE HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. I would appreciate this more if it was fun messy.

LMAO so when Jere is like "And what's the key to making me happy, Belly?" I was like oh OK because there was like a hint of innuendo in his voice, completely unintentional I think, but it was a bit like ooh, I hear that and then it was ENTIRELY ruined when she's like "correcting people who say bru-chetta" and he laughs and goes "Because it's bru-sketta!" and it was SUCH a corny delivery.

Skipping everything with the mom because I do not care.

So who's going to have a breakdown at the end of this episode?

"You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met" I'm laughing because the delivery came across as unintentionally sarcastic.

"Jeremiah is always there when I need him" it's a RIDE. I also love when she flashes back to him always being there for her the first instance is his mother telling him to stay inside with her because she's got a summer cold and him being like "MOM" and her being like "PLEASE" and him being like fine. Like that's not what you think that is. He should hang out with her and then be asked to go to the boardwalk and being like nah I think I'll just stay in with Belly. HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS?

"And when he got sick two days later, I stayed home with him" so then wouldn't you two just be passing the cold back and forth to each other?

Ohhhhh they're looking at each other on this ride and she's feeling how much she likes him! and needs him! and they have NO chemistry!

"It feels weird having fun, like part of me feels guilty" if you were a good actress we would see that conflict in you the entire day but whatever, the show is really bad with showcasing how much Susannah's death is supposed to affect her.

Oh no breakdowns because that would require drama. Just the empty beach house which I know is meant to be a MOMENT but it isn't.

[toastannas]

9 people you'd like to know better

hii i got tagged by @yansurnummu sjdjfhdh

3 ships

Valarie- GODDD i could go on about val, amarie, or both of them for Hours. they are my special little guys and they've changed A Lot over the years as i've learned to move on from my ex. i don't really talk about them in public bc they're an oc x oc ship but goddd. they mean so much to me. which is why if you look at my discord or (priv) twitter they're practically everywhere lol

Dulcillarie- i've always wanted to make a "tragic first love" ship but all my previous tries just didn't work out. fun fact, valarie was intended to be that kind of ship such that val died and amarie would eventually move on and end up with bastian, but after my ex broke up with me and i realized i was a lesbian, i decided to rewrite val's entire story so that they would live and they were the one to end up with amarie (hence why i joke about amarie and bastian being divorced. they actually become a couple too but break up before amarie meets val). where dulcilla comes in is that she takes val's old place as amarie's first love, and it has aaaaallll the juicy drama of a doomed relationship that ends when dulcilla dies sacrificing herself for amarie. also on a side note, not many people know that dulcilla isn't actually my oc! she's a canon character from the immortal eight who's implied to be a mortal incarnation of dibella. so this is an oc x canon ship lmao

Fane/Lisenya- fane has become one of my top comfort characters at this point (bc of my ex, funnily enough) so his romance is one of my favorite romances of all time. even if it's not as in depth as, say, dragon age's or bg3's. as for lisenya, i don't have a lot of lore for her but i love her purple hair and her taste in lovers basically being "girl what the fuck is wrong with you" (obviously she romances fane in dos2, and in bg3 she canonically doesnt romance anyone but. The Emperor.)

First ship

hogh ok that's tough umm.. not to out myself as being Young but, cybomb from v*nturiantale was the first ship i super got invested in. jesus christ. that was 10 years ago and super cringe, but what can i do

Last song

Blackboard by Nano (i've been going through a nano renaissance from middle school lately. this is also a dulcillarie song to me)

Currently reading

nothing really but i've had the hunger games prequel sitting on my desk for a while now and i should really get around to it

Last film

i was (re)watching the matrix movies but i couldnt get past halfway through the second movie.

Currently craving

hmmm. honey chicken

uhh hope no one minds that i dont actually tag anyone in this hddhhd

[hoediaz]

wip wednesday

tagged by @trippedandfell thank u mwah and also by @henswilsons @sibylsleaves @queerpanikkar and @alimartins over the last like 3 weeks in various wip game things i finally have something for you ok thank you mwah:

Buck has to swallow twice before he can expose this tiny, fleshy part of his heart: “Chris?” 

The name drops like a stone in the middle of the silent kitchen, Eddie on one side of the island and Buck on the other. Three years. If Buck’s doing the math right, Chris just turned six. That’s half of Christopher’s life Buck never got to see. More, really, when you consider how rarely Buck and Eddie were seeing each other even before Eddie disappeared off the face of the planet. 

He wonders if Chris remembers him, his dad’s best friend, always grainy and loud on the screen of Eddie’s phone when they found themselves with enough time to talk between Shannon and Taylor and everything else. 

One of Eddie’s fingers traces a crack in Buck’s counter. He was already gone when that happened, the result of Albert drinking too much and trying to reenact a scene from Coyote Ugly. Never met Albert at all. Christ.

“With Shannon.”

“Right,” Buck says, and he’s not bitter, really. How can he be? “Shannon.”

“Yeah.” Eddie clears his throat, palm sliding against the barest hit of stubble that covers his jaw. It’s a bit more than a 5 o’clock shadow, like maybe he hasn’t had the time to shave. “Uh. Is — uh, is Taylor home soon? I can come back —”

“Taylor?” Buck blinks, suddenly furious, Eddie’s return picking at more scabs than one. There are too many ghosts in this relationship, Taylor said, the closest to tears Buck ever saw her. “Jesus Christ. Taylor doesn’t live here anymore. We broke up like, fuck, almost two years ago.” 

“Oh,” Eddie says, blinking wide eyes like he truly can’t believe it. Buck wants to scoff; swallows it. “Maddie didn’t say —”

“Maddie? You talk to Maddie?”

tagging back @henswilsons @queerpanikkar @alimartins and also tagging @adamrparrrish @mmtions @buckactuallys and whoever wants to!