#ok have a nice day tumblr circle who reads my tags | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladyartemesia · 3 years

Note

Yooo your love story straight out seems like an e2l slow burn tumblr fic. Do you have any plans using at as a plot?? I would def read it 👀

I don’t know if I would truly call it enemies-to-lovers because—although I got irritated with him and his behavior and did snap at him from time to time—we were not really enemies. In fact we were barely friends for most of the years we knew each other—

Well.

Ok. So that’s not totally true...

We fought online constantly. From the time we graduated college (where his crush first developed and I routinely forgot his name) the two of us were always fighting on social media—usually about politics—and occasionally about other things but both of us were too smart to ever truly get the better of each other so there was a grudging respect, (his mom said he used to yell at his computer screen about me). We had it OUT several times online even though we rarely—if ever—spoke in person.

My poor sweet boy DID get himself in trouble over me in more ways than one though—even if we’re weren’t close yet...

His college girlfriend set him up to fail asked him who he would date if the two of them weren’t together and he answered immediately—vehemently—

“Viola. I would definitely date Viola if I could.”

🤦🏻‍♀️ (oh...honey...no)

(That would become a huge THING in their relationship. Every time they got into a fight his ex would shout “why don’t you just go date VIOLA then?!”—When he married me he said he felt like a real winner in that particular collection of conflicts. Playing the long game I guess 🤣😂)

Back then I was all about the music/dramatic arts scene and I was dating a string of empty headed pretty boys who bored me nigh unto death because I was young and completely stupid.

In contrast my someday-boo was painfully quiet and shy (though not really with me because he was too busy trying to prove me wrong), but everyone who met him or spoke to him really liked him and respected him.

After college we were were still in the same extended social circle (and—as previously mentioned—fighting online), but I went to grad school and my not-yet-husband decided to chill for awhile and take a job as a landscaper while he figured his life out and... here’s where it gets complicated because...

—that’s where the girls came in. You see... he’s always been a really nice guy... maybe a little too nice 🤦🏻‍♀️

The term fuqboi tends to conjure up impressions of a cocky frat bro who slyly shags his way through a mountain of willing women with disconnected efficiency and a subtext of emotional constipation.

But that would not be the case here.

You see my husband is a listener. He’s an INFP. He, unlike many of his brethren, understands emotions and can really make a woman feel seen. Combine that with his good looks, brilliant mind, and broody nerditude and you have a recipe for women who were ‘just friends’ randomly dropping to their knees (and a lot more) for him.

Never one to stand in the way of a lady’s dreams, pre-me-hubby figured that if they were that determined to (*insert miscellaneous sexy stuff here*) with him then—well—he’d let them.

I mean why not, right? No harm done.

Wrong. 🤬

And here is where our paths truly began to merge (in the real world) for the first time.

As the FOURTH girl (just in my friend group) he graciously allowed (🤦🏻‍♀️) to have her wicked way with him sobbed in my arms, I became determined to put this ridiculous man-child IN his PLACE—this time in the tactile world as well as the virtual one.

...Poor Liz

She realized that he had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship with anything other than his WoW account and she was insistent that he had broken her heart.

So I cornered him and we had it out. (Call me meddlesome, but to be fair he was four friends deep at this point.)

The problem was that... the more I talked to him...the more he was not really what I expected... I found myself...oddly...intrigued?

Later it would come out that I was the first girl—ever—that he actually pursued. And I was not even aware of it for like the first three months.

He was pretty slick after all when it came down to it.

That man convinced me to ‘help him’ with women—to make sure he didn’t get himself into another situation where some girl with heart eyes was tearing off his clothes and expecting commitment.

HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS ‘EXCUSE.’

🤦🏻‍♀️(...I know. I’m an idiot.)

“We can hang out. You’ll teach me how to spot if a girl is about to catch feelings and take off my pants. And I will have an excuse when they call as to why we can’t hang out” (—and ...they really were always calling. It was wild.)

....I mean he WAS shy! It SEEMED plausible!

So yeah my dim self agreed to it. (🤦🏻‍♀️)

I considered it a valiant attempt to save the rest of my social circle from the most clueless ‘accidental’ fuqboi on planet earth and maybe even an opportunity to teach him how to be a real human being and what not.

And before you think ‘fake dating’—we weren’t. We were just hanging out as friends. You see when I went to yell at him (and chased him down after he laughed at me and tried to escape) we ended up talking in his car for like four hours. And then that happened like three more times randomly so... I... actually... wanted... to be his friend... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was still 110% not interested romantically.

Your girl (me) was after some bland banker dude (🤦🏻‍♀️) and so I blissfully fell into friendship with my actual soulmate without a single second thought. And I never worried about either of us catching feelings because I had a crush on someone else and he had heavily implied that I was not his type. (He told me later that I just assumed this and he simply never corrected me 🙄)

I don’t remember falling for him. I never decided to. I never thought about it...

But one day after the whole crew was hanging out at a restaurant (and the waiter kept giving me free drinks which may have pissed my once-and-future man off) the two of us went out to his car to have our customary three hour post-chill chat...

I was teasing him about something—some girl he was still attempting to untangle himself from—and I said—as had become my habit (seriously I said this so many times as a joke)—“It’s too bad I’m not your type—you could just tell her you have a girlfriend.”

(Now. I know what you’re thinking. But I was still firmly on team platonic ok! I was just a flirt. And maybe part of me was starting to feel weird things about him—but those feelings weren’t like anything I recognized so I thought I just needed to cut back on sugar or something.)

(Have I mentioned I’m an idiot?)

ANYWAYS he looked me right in the eye. So serious. And instead of saying “that’s too bad”—LIKE he ALWAYS did—he said—

“You...are my type, Viola... You’re exactly my type.”

To which I responded—“....What? No I’m not. You said I wasn’t.”

“Never said that. You assumed.”

“You LET me!”

—followed by a good ten minutes of me having an existential crisis/yelling at him for allowing me to believe he didn’t find me attractive and lulling me into a false sense of security. He was infuriatingly unapologetic.

At the end of it all he asked me to give him—give us—a chance.

And I agreed to go out on a few dates with him (mostly to prove to myself that there was nothing there).

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

The only thing I ended up proving was that I was wrong about what I wanted and even more wrong about what I needed.

You see...

Those weird feelings turned out to be love.

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

And it was a really special experience to sit in a room full of girls who had cried in my arms over him—girls I had lectured repeatedly on the dangers of his heartless ways— and admit that I was his girlfriend.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Love was—and continues to be—nothing like I expected and frankly I couldn’t be happier.

... to answer your questions

1. I have considered writing a fic based on our story called Broken Road. The title is taken from an old Rascal Flatts song that—as insanely cheesy as it is—really reminds me of us. Don’t know if I will actually write this. Thought about it a lot though.

2. Tags I would use for this story?

#enemies-to-lovers / #idiots-to-lovers / #college au / #outgoing!fem reader(me) x shy nerd!accidental fuqboi / #reader is also a huge nerd actually / #she’s just a loud one / #frenemies-to-lovers / #the love is requited / #they’re just idiots / #pining (his) / denial (mine) / #reader has terrible taste in men / #except for that last one / #she really redeemed herself there at the end

#wow #it was really cool to write all this out actually #my love story #well part of it anyways #it’s still ongoing #via💋viola

134 notes · View notes

imanativeofswlondondahling · 4 years

Text

Becoming A Stark? (1) Peter Parker X Stark! Fem Reader

A/N: This will eventually be a Peter Parker X Stark! femReader. However, there was backstory needed so Peter won’t be introduced until Chapter Six. This takes place after Iron Man 3 but before AOU. However time is wishy washy and will pass in weird ways so lol opps. Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Word Count: 3073

Warnings: Swearing

You feel it in your soul that you will hate Tony Stark for the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter that you’re related to him. It doesn’t matter that you’re his daughter. He ripped you from everything you’ve ever known. You were happy living with your grandparents. Sure they were getting up there in age, but you were happy. You had a life, you had friends, hell you had been working on moving forward with your crush and were hoping to have a date to homecoming this year. But all of that was ruined the day that Tony Stark waltzed through your front door. You can’t help but think back to that interaction.

“Nana, who’s this?”

“Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist, Iron Man, to name a few things. I’d offer a hand but that’s not something I normally do. I guess, maybe I should due to the circumstances but…” It’s not the first time you’ve seen his face. The Avengers have saved New York a few times, but it is the first time you’ve seen him up close. The dark haired stranger trails off and you’re put off by his attitude alone. Why was someone this stuck up standing in your living room? So instead of saying anything, you turn your head back to your book. Tony decides to take a seat at the opposite end of the couch and tries again. “What are you reading?”

Instead of answering, you just hold up the book and let him read the cover. Once and Future, spelled out on the spine of the book that you had removed the book jacket from while you read. “Y/N, maybe put the book down for a few minutes. I think Mr. Stark-”

“Tony is fine.”

“I think Tony and you need to discuss something.” You hesitantly pick up the receipt you had been using as a bookmark and slide it into the book, not wanting to leave Ari Helix behind, but you wouldn’t be rude to your Nana on a good day. On a day that you had trudged through the snow in your converse, maybe, but not on purpose.

“I don’t know him. I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”

“You’re right, we don’t know each other yet, but I’m hoping that will change with everything that’s going to happen.”

“What’s going to happen?” You can feel your eyebrows fall towards your eyes as you feel as though something is about to change without your permission.

“Well Y/N, I’m… I’m your dad.”

“Bullshit.” You say quickly. “Tony Stark doesn’t have kids. And if he did, there would have been a fucking gossip blog screaming about it already.”

“Well you definitely have my mouth if nothing else.” Tony adds with a chuckle.

“I don’t have anything of yours, because you’re not my dad. I never want to see you again. Get the fuck out.” You push off the couch and turn to run off to your room.

“See that’s going to be a little tough seeing as you're supposed to come live with me.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You turn on your heels, the anger building quickly. You’ve always been a bit of a hot head, but in this moment you don’t even try to control your temper. “I have a home, thank you very kindly. I don’t fucking know you. And I’m not looking to find a dad anytime soon.” The words spit out of you before you can stop any of them.

“See the thing is, you’re fourteen and I’m your dad. Custodially, you’re supposed to live with me.”

“See the thing is,” you mock before continuing, “You didn’t care for fourteen years, so I don’t give a shit what you think you’re supposed to be doing custodially.” You can’t help but add air quotes around the word custodially. It burns as it leaves your lips. He hasn’t cared about you for fourteen years, why start now?

“That’s because I didn’t know you existed Y/N. I found out about you twenty four hours ago and I’m stepping up now.” The words leave his mouth in an exasperated tone, but he doesn’t raise his voice.

“How?”

“How what?”

“How did you find out about me?”

“Your high school.”

“What?”

“When you registered for school they had your birth certificate. They needed more information. Since it listed me as your father, they reached out to Nat- to my assistant. It was quite the shock to me that my child’s school was reaching out to me, since I didn’t know I had a child but the timing adds up and looking at you, it makes a lot of sense.”

“You were listed on my birth certificate?” This question was aimed at your grandparents more than at Tony-your father.

“We didn’t know if it was true or not. Your mom was in a bad place when she had you Y/N. So we had to take everything she said with a grain of salt. Was she beautiful and loving and did she love you? Yes completely. But did a lot of what she said during that time make sense? No, not at all.” Your nana says as she sits down on the couch, rubbing her knee. It’s probably another bad day. If you leave, who will make sure Nana and Pops are ok?

“I can’t go with you.” You cross your arms as you speak to Ton-your father.

“Why not?” His eyebrow raises over his square glasses.

“‘Cuz someone has to help Nana and Pops around the house.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a nurse helping them. Or better we can move them into a nursing facility where they don’t have to go up and down a bunch of flights of steps all the time.”

“Why would you do that.” The question came out as a demand, especially since you don’t want to believe this man that’s taking you away from the only family you’ve ever known would do something… nice.

“Because they’re your family. I’m not heartless. Well I guess that depends on what your belief on science is and arc reactors are, but technically I do still have a heart underneath all of this.” He points to where you know there would be metal and lights under his suit. “But for right now, we need to focus on getting you to the tower.”

“What tower?”

“Avenger’s tower? It’s closer than Malibu? And in less shambles.”

“So you’re moving me from the home that I know and love, but you don’t even live where you’re moving me?”

“I live there a lot of the time. And the Avengers are there most of the time which means you’ll be very safe. But I do have to travel for business.”

“Then I’ll stay where I am thanks.” Tony goes to speak when Wallace goes off. The beeping is only jarring for him since you and your Nana are used to it going off at random times.

“What the hell is that?”

“That is Wallace.” You say, not clearing up anything. Hmmm, your Dexcom says you’re 205 and rising? You could have sworn you had insulin on board. So you unclip the pump from your side and tap the screen to enter your blood sugar. No correction needed.

“You good babydoll?” Your nana asks from across the living room.

“I’m good. I have insulin on board.”

“You’re diabetic?” Tony asks, putting two and two together.

“Yup. Have been since I was four.”

“And Wallace?” He asks hesitantly.

“Do you honestly care?” You say before rolling your eyes and walking towards the kitchen. Mentally, you slap yourself. You should have grabbed your book. Now you’ll either have to start a new one or wait until your father, you roll your eyes at even saying it, leaves so you can continue your space adventure. Walking down the hallway you enter your room and close the door behind you. All you want to do is shut out the bombshell that was dropped on you and not deal with it. But for some reason you get the feeling that Tony Stark, freaking Iron Man, isn’t one to just let things go.

Giving up on the idea of starting another book, you open your computer and click your Spotify to start playing the playlist you had paused this morning when you had left to run errands with Pops. You only have two weeks of summer left, so you had spent time getting school supplies and groceries before returning to the apartment. While Hitchin’ A Ride by Green Day starts playing, you open Twitter, hoping for anything to distract yourself. But somehow you find yourself on Tony Stark’s Twitter. It was less narcissistic that you imagined for him. Some retweets about Stark Industries, a few comical tweets about wanting a cheeseburger, and then a tweet from twenty four hours that just said HOLY SHIT in all caps and nothing else. Could that be about you? Closing out Twitter, you find yourself opening up your Tumblr to scroll as Lithium by Nirvana played. Or well you tried to scroll, but a knock on your door interrupts you.

“Can I come in?” Tony’s head peaks in.

“If I say no will you go?” You say without looking up.

“Probably not. The people in my inner circle say I’m fairly stubborn.”

“Hmm.” Is the only reply you give him. To be fair, a lot of your friends would say you’re stubborn too so it’s not that surprising that your father is too.

“I know you don’t like it kiddo-”

“Don’t call me kiddo.

“-but we do need to head to the Tower soon. Happy’s been parked downstairs for about as long as he’s allowed to be there.” Tony continues as if you hadn’t said anything. “So how about you pack up stuff you’ll need for the next few days and then I can send Happy and some other people to come get the rest later on?”

“You’re going to send people to pack up my stuff? You know how invasive that is?”

“Ok, I’ll send you over with them, you can pack it up and they’ll move it to the tower, it’s your choice. Or to Malibu if you’d rather. Well that is once the rebuild is done. Long story. But if you stay at the tower, you won’t have to change schools.”

“Yippee. Everyone at school will get to find out that Tony Stark is my father. How much fun will that be.” Your voice is dripping with sarcasm. “I definitely wanted to be ostracized my first year at high school. Thanks for making it even better than I could ever imagine high school being.”

“Look I know this isn’t a win/win scenario, but we can keep your name out of the press until your eighteen if you want. You’re a minor-”

“Yeah, but when the paparazzi see me coming out of the tower, that won’t tip them off.”

“I’ll have Happy drive you. There’s a garage entrance. No one will see you coming or leaving.”

“Great so I just have to give up my freedom. That’s even better than I imagined.”

“Y/N, I know this isn’t what you wanted, or even what you want, but I think we can come up with something that works in the long run. Plus I’m having Pepper, you’ll meet her later, take over SI so I won’t have to do as much. I can try to stay in New York as much as possible. Because no matter what happens, you’re my daughter and I want to know you.” You don’t say anything in response. “I hope one day, you feel similarly.” He says softly.

“I doubt it.” You say honestly.

“Well even if that’s the case, right now we do need to pack up some stuff to take to the tower for now. Want me to hel-” He starts to pick up a sweatshirt from the end of your bed and you snatch it from his hand as you reply.

“I’ve got it.”

“Y/N, we’re here.” Your father’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you look at the non descript parking garage that is under what you assume is the tower. The man you’ve figured out is Happy, though he’s the exact opposite of Happy, opens your door and you climb out, knowing that Tony will be behind you. Happy goes to grab your bags from the trunk, but you stop him.

“I’ve got it.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“I don’t have an issue carrying my own stuff like some people.” From the trunk you lift out your purple backpack, the black rolling suitcase, and the canvas bag that’s filled with all your pump supplies, sensors, and insulin. You follow Tony and Happy towards an elevator.

“JARVIS take us to the main floors.”

“Certainly sir.” You look up expecting to see a face or something but there’s no one there.

“JARVIS is the AI that runs the whole tower. If you need anything JARVIS is the one to ask. If there’s specific food you want or if you need stuff for school or, well, anything really, just ask JARVIS. I’ll get you added to the levels of clearance that allow you to order anything that you want.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Part of you living with me is that I’m going to provide for you. JARVIS is part of providing for you. I’m not the best at remembering to like grocery shop or send the laundry out so JARVIS helps with that.”

“Send the laundry out? Do you not have a washer and dryer in this whole place?” You cock an eyebrow at how spoiled he sounds.

“We do, but there are other things that take time away from me.” You add continue to do my own laundry to the mental list of things that will make you different from your father. Tony notices the disapproval marked in his daughter’s face and hopes that maybe meeting the Avengers will make up for the disappointment he’s been to her so far. The doors open and in the living room Natasha and Clint are sitting watching a movie while Steve sits in a chair reading a book. “Where’s Code Green?”

“In the lab,” Steve comments, not looking up from the page he’s on.

“That’s Capsicle. Legolas is sitting next to Nat. Big Green is down in the lab and Point Break is currently back at home but you’ll meet him eventually, though hopefully not his brother.” At the sound of being introduced the three in the living room look up and see the girl standing next to Tony in surprise.

“Uh, Tony, are we taking pint size Avengers now?” Clint asks.

“I might be small, but I can kick your knees out just as easily.” You pull on the strap of your backpack, not really wanting to be in this room much longer.

“Ok, before you kick anyone’s knees out. This is not an Avenger recruit. This is Y/N Stark, my daughter.” Ok taking on his last name was something you were going to have to talk to him about because you were perfectly happy being Y/N Y/L/N, not this Y/N Stark bullshit.

“You have a kid?” Steve asks, genuine confusion spread across his face.

“I do. I didn’t know until yesterday, but I’m doing the right thing.” You can’t stop the snort that escapes you. Tony looks over at you.

“Sorry,” You say although you don’t mean it. “Can I es- go to my room?”

“‘Yes, you can escape to your room. I’ll show you where it is.”

“I got it boss. I think you have some people that need answers.” Happy offers. You’re silently relieved that Happy offered to show you. If you had to spend another minute with your dad, you might lose your mind. Happy walks you into the kitchen and opens the fridge as you go past it. You look at him, trying to figure out why he’s opening it. “Tony told me you’re diabetic. You have insulin that needs refrigeration right?”

“Oh, yeah I just didn’t know he told you.”

“Head of security. There’s not much he doesn’t tell me.” Happy turns them towards a staircase leading away from where all the Avengers are. “But you know if you need someone to talk to, or grab a cheeseburger with, there’s things he doesn’t have to know about.”

“I don’t eat meat, but I appreciate it, Happy.”

“He’s going to say you’re not his kid if you don’t eat cheeseburgers.” And for the first time since all of this started, you actually let out a laugh.

Tony’s head turns towards the sound of the laugh. It’s unfamiliar, but he wants to hear more of it. He’s missed fourteen years of your life, but he wants to make things better, he does. He’s just not sure how.

“So you found out you have a kid?” Steve asks, his book forgotten now.

“Yeah, yesterday I found out I had a fourteen year old and then it’s been a whole process of finding out that since she’s mine I have custody technically.”

“So you took her away from all she knows?” Natasha's voice comes softly from the couch.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Did you give her a choice?” Natasha asks, harsher this time. In her eyes anyone could see the remainders of another girl that was taken from all she ever knew and replaced with a hard boiled assassin.

“In the eyes of the state she doesn’t really have a choice.”

“So you didn’t give her a choice.”

“She’s got a medical condition that was costing her family thousands a month on top of her grandparents’ conditions. I’m helping!” Tony’s voice raises for the first time this afternoon since he tried to stay calm around his kid.

“You think you’re helping, but you’re taking her from the only life she’s ever known and I’m betting you gave her no choice in this. All you might get out of this is four years with her and then she disappears from your life.” Clint says softly, not trying to upset Tony, but also hearing the points that Natasha was bringing up.

“You’re going to have to work hard to make this worth it to Y/N, Tony.” Steve says before picking up his book.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #stark!reader #tony stark daughter #peter parker fan fiction #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fan fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x you #imanativeofswlondondahling #tony stark x daughter!reader

336 notes · View notes

tokugou · 3 years

Note

Hi. First: I love your GIFs! They're pleasing to see on my dash (and sometimes gives me niggling ideas for creating GIFs of my own but almost never do it cuz procrastination and my creativity sucks haha 😅)! Please keep creating! <3

Second, genuine question (and out of curiosity): Why do you self reblog your posts often? People can see your posts on their dash, and even on the search thingy. The search thingy doesn't let people see your self-reblogs (just the original post). Even though I've kinda been on and off of Tumblr for years, I don't really get how it works, so I'm a bit confused as to why you and other bloggers self-reblog your/their own posts?

You don't have to answer if you don't want to, though! I'm just genuinely confused and I don't know who/where else to ask/search 😅. Thanks in advance! Have a nice day! <3

I honestly don't know what I did to get dragged into this discourse

Thank you for polite question, I honestly don't know if I can help you a lot and if my answer will explain it as you expect. I also was on and off tumblr for a long time and often, but I can answer it based on my own experience on this becasue it was confusing to me too when I first met with self reblogging.

Long reply under read more so to not trash other people' dash

first of all self promotion isn't a bad thing and i'm staring to think some of people here see it as a crime

compared to old one nowday t/mblr is a mess, lot of people left this site and most of them were content creators (either artists or gifmakers) and back then it seemd more welcoming to editors? People would rb your stuff no matter your popularity becasue hey it is content from my fav series i wanna see more i wanna keep it on my blog and show it to others so there was no need for people to self reblog becasue it circulated around a lot on its own.

new people who join this app are raised on i/stagram t/itter and/or f/book where LIKES means everything, you show your support by liking posts THIS NOT APPLY TO TUMBLR AND NEVER DID [you can check this amazing post about rebloging]. As nice as it is to get likes on your post becasue it is like a pat on a head - it is only a pat, doesn't mean anything on a long run. Reblog = spreading. If people don't spread it we stay unnoticed and we tend to self reblog more.

another thing that changed is: people no longer scroll from top to the last post they saw before going to sleep, cos why would they? You wake up in the morning open app while eating breakfast or drinking coffee and you sroll past ten or twenty post or an equivalent of hour or two of your absence - you dont go deeper cos it would be a waste of time - again, I say USUALLY, some ppl still do this and it is ok either way - which leads us to main point of self/reblog:

DIFFERENCE in TIME ZONE not all of our followers live in the same time-zone, when I post something in my free time it doesn't mean others have it too, most of them are probably sleeping or in working place at that hour. We self reblog so people who were absent (and we think might be interested in - becasue why not? they follow us for a reason right?) can see it when they get back on here. By reblogging ourself multiple times, that puts the post back on the follower’s dash and hopefully gives them a chance to see it.

most of people follow ton of blogs (one of my friend I met here told me they follow over 1k blogs) imagine even half of these blogs posting regulary, a few things per hour, the dash is messy and crowded OUR EDITS TEND TO GET LOST IN IT. Most of people follow a lot of blogs and might miss our posts becaue their dashes are WAY more active than these who follow five or ten blogs.

t/mblr fandoms aren't welcoming to new creators in my experience, to get notes you need to be popular/have lot of followers but you can't have lot of them if your posts aren't spread/seen and so on and so on it go in circle (a lot of ppl also only reblog popular posts and avoid these with litte of notes - don't know why it is like this, maybe they think these posts are suspicious?) so with self reblog we also give some of these fake notes to make a post more appealing, i guess? this one is just speculation.

the search function you mentioned is very rarely used tbh people don't go to search for things daily, they usually only do this when they join new series/ship/etc to check if there is something. People usually stick to what they see on their dashes. AND most importantly this option doesn't work as it should. It is some type of algoritm that promote post that are alive/active - even if your post is relativy new it might not show in search becasue it died quickly (as if it wasn't interacted with for some time). With search option it is 50/50 your thing either show there or not. ALSO REMEMBER search option is a terrible promoted thingy that doesn't show you everything so you better stick to /tagged/ thing you can enter manually while on dash if you are using web t/mblr.

people no longer go straight to specific blogs to check if they missed something, they might do it for their besties (as they call it) but other than that DASH is all people see and focus on, so the more often content creators self/reblog the higher chance followrs will see it.

we are not paid for what we do and it come to everything: edits, gifs, arts, writing, video and META POST we are not paid for it and no matter how many people say notes are just numbers these numbers are our motivational payment, the less you get the less you create because you just don't feel the point of sharing your creations if it is not received well or at all.

when I started posting I used to post new content daily even twice a day, nowdays seeing most of my edits not being well recieved in fandom I lost motivation to the point I was thinking of quiting because it didn’t give me joy anymore and I'm still considering it.

I personally never felt bothered seeing self rebbloged post, I follow a bunch of content creators, some of them sr twice a day some each hour, some more or less often. It often helped me to see something I would missed becasue I wasn't here and personally it often give me joy to see the post I remember seeing that had 2 notes when I rb it and now it is 500 or more.

to anyone who read it and still think self reblog is a bother: do not tell people to stop self reblogging. If you genuinely have a problem with self reblogging, just unfollow or block the person who does it and don’t make a fuss over it!

I hope I managed to answer you at least partly? I probably lost the point somewhere between first sentence and second but... well

#chloe.mailbox #long post #anonymous #i keep saying WE as in content creator but honestly i dont feel as if i was part of it

8 notes · View notes

khaotungsfirst · 4 years

Text

ali‘s embarrassing celebrity crushes throughout the years

thank you to @fengqing for wanting me to expose myself, i hope y’all don’t judge me too much 🥴i had to go through my archive to remember most of these cause as fast as these crushes hit me sometimes, some of them went away just as quickly.

tagging: @schnaf @manhasetardis @morifinwes @xiaodaozhang @huigusu @yibocrisis

ok here we go, putting it under a read more cause this got long

MEN (since 2006)

tom kaulitz nothing more attractive to 10 year-old me than this 15 year-old with dreadlocks and pants that hit the floor askdjhgkjfdg

joseph gordon-levitt i..... can’t even explain this?? lmao.. i mean inception was and is my favourite movie but not because of him so like??

niall horan niall girls unite!! i was a niall girl until i got into larry and then that was all i cared about for a long time ksadjgkdf but i still love him!

dan howell he was funny and british, that’s it

dylan o’brien listen every teen wolf fan was mainly there for him, don’t even lie about it

seb stan holy shit i was crushing on him so hard after the winter soldier came out. he was the epitome of perfection to me! this was a big one for me but it went downhill once he started growing out his hair afgkjdfgjkd retrospectively i’m not sure if i was only thirsting after him because everyone else on my dash was doing it (also does anyone remember political animals??)

dane dehaan oh god..... listen, it’s all the fault of the amazing spiderman 2! also his look is so versatile like in some photos he looks really nice and in others..... 😬yikes lmao skdjgfdk idk man

loïc nottet this was a short-lived crush but he absolutely killed it at the 2015 esc and tumblr went wild over him so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

marc bartra so we’re getting into football players now and just look at him! he joined my favourite team (bvb) and i immediately loved him cause he made such an effort to integrate himself. after the team bus was attacked and he got injured my love for him only increased. he just seems so sweet and nice aaahh

niklas stark idek how i came to know abt him cause he plays for hertha which i don’t care abt aksjgjghjf but he has such a beautiful smile i think that’s what got me

andré silva i just thought he looked neat (still does but he doesn’t blow me away anymore)

héctor bellerín 2016 bellerín?? oof!! don’t look him up on google tho, he’s had a lot of... questionable hair and fashion choices throughout the years 🥴the way we all dragged him for it was really funny tho. i still love him he’s a great guy always supporting good causes

arón piper listen earrings and curly hair maketh the man

matthías tryggvi haraldsson once again a crush resulting from esc. he was my icon before i turned into a mdzs blog. i don’t even think he’s super attractive, i just love the contrast between hatari matti and normal matti

harry styles i’ve given in to the harry supremacy propaganda. he really is my favourite 1d member these days, musically-wise and looks-wise

bill kaulitz we’ve come full circle!! nowadays bill is my favourite kaulitz twin. it’s funny cause they literally have the same face so it all just comes down to how they present themselves and bill is just my preference

MEN (recently/currently)

wang yibo i don’t even have words!!! his look, his personality, his talent just!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!! (as we all do) (also big genvy causer)

lesbian yibo this gets a separate bullet point cause i had this realisation like two weeks after falling for regular yibo but oh boi am i gay for her

xiao zhan he’s just.. so pretty and lovely. i thought about putting wwx into the fictional characters category cause i think xz looks the prettiest as wwx but xz as a person just seems so nice and down to earth that i had to put him here

bright (vachirawit chivaaree) a baby!!! his smile is so pretty and overall he gives off very ~soft~ vibes. also how does he look so good when crossdressing??

boun (noppanut guntachai) once again the jewellery got me. boys with earrings really will be my downfall one day... (this is not to say that he isn’t pretty without them, his face is also very much up there on reasons why i stan him)

tul (pakorn thanasrivanitchai) get you a man who is as comfortable in his masculinity and sexuality as tul

felix lee will i ever get over the dissonance between his looks and his voice?? probably not. also he’s just a fucking cutie

hyunjin felix might be my bias (oh god i’m starting to speak in kpop lingo) but i’m also kinda simping for him, what can i say?

WOMEN (sadly not as many but you know, heteronormativity)

scarlett johansson literally everyone on this planet thinks she’s hot and they’re right (yeah she’s kinda problematic but i can still appreciate her looks)

halsey remember when halsey used to kiss her fans at her concerts?? completely unrelated to that, i really wanted to go to one of her concerts..... 🙃 also i once dyed my hair blue bc of her

kiko mizuhara she was fancast as blue from the raven cycle so many times and i was so on board with it cause in my head she fit the character perfectly but maybe that’s just because i thought she was really really beautiful and wanted to see more of her 🤷🏻‍♀️

rihanna i mean... c’mon

michelle phan oh man this goes way back.. she was one of the first youtubers i watched in like 2010 before i even played with makeup myself. she just always gave off such calming vibes and she seems so nice. also look at her 😍

zendaya oof zendaya is a big one for me. she’s just so fucking beautiful just... how?? what??? i- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lena i started actively following her on ig after she released her last album in 2019 (which is great btw) and... damn girl do i want to be you or date you??

xuan lu oh god she’s so adorable but then also so hot but then also so etheral but then also so cute but then also so beautiful but then also s-

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

stefan salvatore (tvd) gotta love how even at 14 i already knew not to make the toxic choice 😊

legolas (lotr) if you didn’t have a legolas phase you’re lying

draco malfoy (hp) if villain bad then why sexy?

anakin skywalker (star wars) if villain bad then why sexy? 2

noora amalie sætre (skam) she’s just really pretty, ok? the red lipstick didn’t help either...

chris p (skam) if villain bad then why sexy? 3 (ok he’s not a villain but he’s an asshole)

tokio (money heist) hhnnnnnnnggggggg girl with a gun make brain go brrr

wen qing (the untamed) funny how in the show i’m simping for wq but irl i prefer xuan lu... someone explain that to me. but anyways, she’s pretty, she’s fierce, and she looks fucking hot in red

#tag game #this took forever omg

19 notes · View notes

lefthandsuzukimethod · 4 years

Text

tag people you want to get to know better

tagged by @captain-apostrophe! <3

tagging (but only if you want to): @vexingcosmos, @spectralprongs, @brehaaorgana , @grandsairs, @christinismithe, @serendipitysunnyflower and anyone else who wants to do it!! <33

your name and then what you would have named yourself: ana! i am good with my name tbh idk that i'd change it

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): libra/leo/capricorn

when did you join tumblr and why?: i just checked and i have been a part of this hellsite since feb 2009 fladkfmaf i remember there was like a week that almost all of ontd_ffa joined @ once because one of us was like HEY THERES A COOL NEW SITE and i'm still here lmao

top 5 fandoms: like active fandoms or just Things I Like? obv rn like… mdzs/the untamed lmao, but also bnha and ffxv pero like in tiny circles??? idk fandom for me is better when u curate your experience, also yk when people are like hey what do u want for christmas and your brain decides it suddenly doesn't know anything? that's what my brain is doing right now lol, UHHHH lemme get back to you on the rest of them. OH i am also dipping my toes into the bts fandom with @spectralprongs's help!! <3 i'm also still very mad that in the flesh was canceled after 9 episodes

top 5 favorite films: pan's labyrinth, pacific rim, coco, jurassic park, the devil's backbone probably

go to song when you wanna Feel something: when i want to feel WHAT THO? so many moods, so many songs if you get specific i might have a better answer lol

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised catholic, so there's a flavor of catholic jokes that will always make me laugh

a song that makes you feel seen: la respuesta lmfaldfmllkm YO NO NECESITO UN HOMBRE QUE ME JODA

if you could have any career: i wanted to be a photographer traveling the world taking pics and getting paid for it, but idk i'm p ok where i am rn working in immigration law if only because i can help people

do you have a type?: sweet gremlin men with nice bone structure, women who could probably beat me up

what does your heart/soul yearn for: for unprecedented times to be OVER please a bitch is tired

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: I Cannot for some reason it's so hard for me to describe myself lol but if anyone else wants to answer this for me GO FOR IT

favorite subjects in school: photography! art! languages! english! french! music classes!

where does your soul feel most at home: anywhere i can relax with my favorite people <3

top 5 fictional characters:

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: OOF moments??? the first ep of futurama with seymour the dog, the season finales of itf, idk i try not to watch shows that are going to make me sad lmao i'm cheating and putting the beginning of up here too

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the earth we are not nice enough to her she's doing her best!!!! the stars are a close second but i don't get to look @ them enough thanks light pollution

favorite kind of weather: SNOWSTORM you can spend all day playing in it and then be cozy inside after with blankets and soup

top 3 characters you relate to: I CHANGED THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT WAS WORDED LMAO but every oldest sibling from the untamed who raised their younger siblings oldest siblings deserve financial compensation!!!, prob the weasley twins who are v smart but also v much not about their grades lol (that's 6 it counts)

favorite medium of art: all of them i refuse to pick one!!! well no i can tell u my least favorite art medium is art made from trash and/or period blood

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: extrovert allegedly

a favorite literary quote: bruh i haven't read an actual book in SO LONG i need to make more time to read

some of your favorite books: remind me about this one i am at work and have forgotten every single book i've ever read

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i think i'm ok here! i love traveling and visiting new places, but i live super close to a big city and i like having Four Seasons (total landscaping ladfkamdf i'm sorry it was right there)

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: mmm like cap said, history hasn't been particularly good to female-presenting people, and i'm gonna add that it's also been sorta terrible to not white people. NOT THAT NOW GOING PARTICULARLY WELL LMAO BUT UHHHH. if i could go just like watch history, maybe a period when art/music was having a big boom

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: piano!!! i have one but i can only play by ear lmao (it was an inheritance) i should be able to read music after many years playing different instruments but nope none of it stuck

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: all of my recent selfies have been mask selfies i sent kie or pics of office puppy on the selfie camera WHOOPS i don't really take selfies

#about me #IM BAD AT PICKING FAVORITE THINGS IM SORRY #shhh im a libra

9 notes · View notes

gilmesc1 · 4 years

Text

Sacrificing my remaining braincells to the void

Ok friends, you requested it, you awaited it, I’ve cleaned out my ears to remove the melted remains of my brain, here we go, we’re doing this, tell my partner I love them. It’s time...for syscourse analysis.

So this is a very bare bones run through of syscourse, it’s as basic as it gets and if need be I’ll focus on components of it after I recover.

So, syscourse is literally the words system+discourse. Bet you guys never saw that coming. 20 seconds into this fucking mess and we already have a major plot twist. And I know what you guys are thinking. A bunch of traumatized people not getting along? Another plot twist!

Jesus I better tone down the sarcasm.

Anyways, what the fuck even has to happen to have syscourse, apparently two types of systems. Yes friends, two types of systems, and I’m not talking DID and OSDD (which are really quite similar).

Our players are traumagenic systems and endogenic systems. Traumagenic systems are systems that formed out of trauma, like DID and OSDD systems. Naturally this plunks me down in the traumagenic catagory, thanks to my big fucking mess of trauma. So we got that down, moving on to endogenic.

So an endogenic system is a system that supposedly split without trauma. No idea where the word endo comes from. Or like, what the fuck endo even means as a word like trauma. (Maybe I want to endo myself after reading a bunch of syscourse? Ok, ok that was bad.)

The biggest issue once you get down to it is who is the Real System tm, and do other systems belong in each other’s tags. This is the part where I’d smoothly bring you all to a good starting point, but *insert deity here* help me, there isn’t one.

Syscourse seems to be older than mankind itself mongrels, because I cannot find where it started and who the tags belonged to first. So for those of you who like to visualize, picture two dogs chasing each other’s tails, running in a circle, and that is syscourse.

So let’s break it down more. I, and I’m sure many others, flocked to tumblr to find others who experience what I do, that being traumagenic system stuff. Again, we have trauma that results in our system’s creation. And that’s all fine and good, sure not everyone gets along with each other but for the most part all us systems are vibing and sharing memes and posts.

Now like I said, to be an endogenic system you are a system without trauma, and to me this is a little confusing. Brains aren’t made to be multiple and I’m the clusterfuck I am because of trauma, but to just magically thanos snap a system into existence? That I have a harder time wrapping my mind around.

There are a lot of examples of endo systems, but the ones I’ll be looking at today are tulpas. What is a tulpa? Well at first I thought it was a ghost thingy that you get by thinking about it, (supernatural anyone?) but now that I look into it, it’s apparently a Tibetan religious practice.

So we have science vs spirituality. This spells disaster already for syscourse.

So to get a better idea of tulpas than I could give you, I’d recommend looking at tumblr posts on tulpas because I’m in sarcasm mode and not really in a position to educate about those. Long story short it’s a thought process where you can essentially create a second being that is similar to an alter, as it exists in a headspace and can switch in.

Now I said headspace and switch in on purpose, because that is where the issue lies. Endos and traumagenics fight about words like that, and who they belonged to first. Can an endo use the words system, fronting, ect when they are scientific words specifically for DID or OSDD, or can traumagenics use the word multiplicity when it supposedly came from tulpamancy?

Side note: Guys do not lecture me on words, I’m trying to give examples, sorry but I don’t have my words for traumagenics dictionary on me rn, that’s in my other hoodie.

The majority of day to day syscourse is endos and traumagenics “infiltrating” each other’s tags and safe spaces, and ruining everyone’s day. From what I have seen, many traumagenics do not want endos to interact with them, and personally I see a few good reasons for this.

1, mental illness is not a trend and DID and OSDD are very very rough to live with. With there currently being a lack of scientific evidence on the existence of tulpas, I understand how it can seem that some are cashing in on the “DID hype” and giving off this romanticized view of being a system.

2. People with DID might be looking for specific DID info, and having to strain through irrelevant topics to them might be heavily stressful.

3. We’re traumatized and random things can set us off. This is the internet and I think everyone is at least a little toxic, and both sides have said shit to each other, but when people get triggered its easy to lose control. Not an excuse, tis merely a fact.

I’ve seen endos post things like “all systems are valid” and it’s a nice sentiment, in my heart of hearts behind my black toxic drama loving one, I’d like it if systems could just get along, but on a topic as complex as mental illness I don’t think that’ll happen.

I’ve seen both sides say things that were really uncalled for, and there’s no right or wrong answer overall in a fight like this. Naturally I’m team traumagenic but as for whether or not I feel like endos are valid or not, jury’s still out on that.

Hear me out, I have heard the theory that endo systems can help deal with trauma despite not being formed by trauma, and I’ve met a few people irl and seen things that confused me. Maybe they were traumagenic systems who didn’t know their trauma, idk.

I really don’t want drama. I’m sure systems on both sides are good people but like I said, the internet is toxic. (btw I love you mutuals, you are all good people)

In my humble opinion syscourse is stupid. I think there definitely should be a discussion about endos and traumagenics, but like can we talk like adults and not be like “WE’RE ALL VALID UWUUUU” with a string of toxicity behind it.

That level of back and forth is dizzying and irritating, and quite honestly I don’t want to deal with it. This is me trying to be neutral and give an overview, but that’s hard as I am traumagenic myself, and I don’t really understand the other side.

That’s why I’m not going to say I reject endos. I need to figure out more for myself and since this does leak into my personal life i want to do it carefully. I’m open to polite discussions, but I really want to keep out of syscourse drama.

Another side note: Something I think that is especially stupid is the amount of outrage over users saying they dni with endos. It’s a choice for that person and it should be respected. Like how I have personal reasons for keeping discussion open, others have personal reason for closing it. That should be respected and not ranted about. There are thousands of tumblrs, find one that isn’t dni and leave those people alone.

Additionally, if any endos do want to talk I’d prefer if you dm me, as I want to keep my blog traumagenic focused, both for my followers and for me, out of respect for those who don’t want any endogenic content and for me so i don’t wear out my three brain cells (I’m accepting name ideas for them)

To end this, I don’t want drama, nothing makes it easier for me to cave to my vices then drama, and syscourse is so freaking tiring that it would be like rolling around like sandpaper to get involved.

So there it is, my useless, sarcastic post on syscourse. Let’s see how many followers I lose, and if need be I can look into more stuff about syscourse since this is an overview.

Again this was supposed to be neutral and not necessarily all of my views, I’ll get more personal on it later maybe, but tbh I’m too fucking tired for that rn. Chronic illness, hell yeah.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, I’m impressed I wrote it all, have a good day guys, I have to go to a party while feeling like my body is leading a rebellion.

I don’t even like people, why am I going XD

But hey shout out to social distancing, I’m using my personal space bubble and NO ONE can stop me.

Ok, time to give the braincells a rest. See you guys

#DID #OSDD #actuallydid #actuallymultiple #actuallytraumagenic #syscourse #system #actuallydissociative #dissociative identity disorder #alters #didosdd #endogenic system #traumagenic system #tulpas

21 notes · View notes

fromthewifecage · 5 years

Text

Never Trust a Cowboy with a Computer (aka Erron Black X F!Reader)

I actually wrote this several months ago, and kept stalling and being an idiot. About 1 month ago I asked the wonderful @tomoka0013 & @gojihime99 if they could help edit it. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! SO many kisses to you both :D Basic premise is Erron Black X F!Reader. Reader handles the Black Dragon IT and they have a rather huge crush on Erron (because who wouldn’t?) Reader is about to go out to the cinema with Kabal & Tremor buuuuut… dun dun dun….. shenanigans ensue, This is Chapter 1 of 2. Chapter 2 is written but needs me to have a shout at it. If people like this then I’ll try to get it out within a week (Chapter 2 contains the smut). If you do like, then please like and reblog as Tumblr is hiding my tags and no-one will see this otherwise. Your support means more than you’ll ever know x

Never Trust a Cowboy with a Computer

Chapter 1 For once, the absolutely only time in recent history, your hair was behaving. Thank the Gods! Actually, was there a God of Hair? Hmmm, maybe Kano would know? His stories of meeting Gods were always fascinating, even though he would always exaggerate his role and prowess in encounters with said Gods. There was simply no way on Earthrealm that Kano would have stolen the Thunder God’s hat without being zapped into the Netherrealm. Plus, Kano had never produced the hat, so whenever he would have one too many beers and start on another night of tall tales, you’d nod along and feign complete belief in his words. Maybe one day you’d get to meet a God? Not likely whilst you were stuck behind a computer for hours every day. Especially working along side Erron-sodding-Black. He’d gone through at least 5 computers this year, 2 in the past three weeks! You’d swear he was doing it on purpose. In your steamiest daydreams he was deliberately breaking his computer so you’d have to travel to the ‘Black Dragon Boyz office’ (and yes, they did spell it with a z) to spend precious time un-fucking his computer. Every time it happened, you swore you were just going to tell him to go bother someone else, or get his arse down to PC World and find some spotty 17 year old work experience boy to bother rather than yourself. After all, you were doing just as an important job for the Black Dragon as he, well, almost. He might be a super amazing dead-shot sniper capable of assassinating even the most heavily guarded target, but you weren’t just IT support, you were a Black Dragon member too. You spent much of your time hacking into Special Forces super secret files, reading General Sonya Blade’s horribly dry mission reports, or transferring money from one Swiss bank account to another before you could be traced. Well, that was why Kano had hired you. Yet these past few months you’d been dragged to broken computer after broken computer by the obscenely handsome aforementioned Erron Black at least once a week. You hadn’t minded the first few times, after all, any time spent in Erron’s company made you all giddy and wibbly-wobbly inside your knickers. His voice honestly did things to you, actually made parts that shouldn’t tingle at work, tingle. He had warm eyes that seemed to sparkle whenever he spoke to you, or caught you staring at him, not that you stared at him. Much. OK, maybe a little. ****** Keep reading after the cut!!! *********

He had a smile that was likely illegal in half the known world. Long, strong fingers that you so often thought about, especially when you’d watch him dance a coin across his knuckles when he was thinking, his trick to keep his fingers supple. No, no no. No thinking about him. He obviously wasn’t interested in you. He was a simple man when it came to that. You’d seen him make moves on people who caught his eye, he’d watch them for a while, then walk up to them, give them a smile, tell them plainly what he wanted, and then watch them walk off together whilst your heart dissolved into self pity. A few months ago, you’d made a real effort to try to stop flirting with him. No more lingering looks while spending more time than needed helping him with his computer. The man was multi-talented with most things, just not computers. Probably didn’t help he didn’t grow up around modern technology. You’d gently teased him about being old and doddery around computers and he’d taken the jokes well, and really, you missed joking around with him, but it was for the best. Kabal jostled with you for mirror space, smoothing down his hair and giving the mirror a big grin. Why was it so easy for men like him? He could probably roll out of bed after 2 hours sleep with his face in a half-eaten curry and he’d still wake up handsome (the git). Whereas it took a lot of fussing to even get your hair to behave, let alone look nice and shiny like Kabal’s did. Maybe you could make a small shrine in the corner of your bedroom to the Hair God? You nodded to yourself, thinking Kabal must have done that. “Come on, you look beautiful. Now get your coat and scarf, and we’re outta here. If we don’t leave soon, we’ll miss it!” Kabal fussed with his coat buttons. Always unable to keep still, the man practically radiated excess energy. “I will be sad if we miss the film.” Tremor stood up from his own desk, the building shaking ever so slightly with the enormous man’s movements. “Not as sad as Kabal. He’ll start bawlin’ if he misses his boyfriend’s new film.” Erron spun round in his brand new swivel chair, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Johnny Cage is NOT my boyfriend and I don’t even care about missing the film.” Kabal bristled with indignation. He did care about missing it. He cared a lot. “I don’t even like his films, or him. I’m just watching it ironically.” Erron laughed. You felt that laughter, deep inside and it demanded attention. Bastard. “Suuuure. Enjoy your boyfriend.” “He is NOT my boyfriend!” This was going to end up in another fight. Last week Kabal had called Erron ‘Old Man Withers’. Erron had retaliated by drawing on Kabal’s Johnny Cage calendar. The moustache and glasses actually suited Johnny Cage. So Kabal put a mouse in Erron’s desk drawer and recorded Erron’s scream, playing it every so often while laughing, and it had gone on until Kano had forced them to apologise to one another, in front of everyone. This happened probably twice a month. It got to where people made bets on how long each feud would last. The longest feud had lasted 23 long days before Kano had flipped. “I do not want to be late.” Tremor tugged open the office door, the handle would need replacing. Again. You followed after the huge man, Kabal behind you muttering about revenge. “Hey, Sweetheart, you goin’ too?” It took a second before you realised that sultry Texan drawl was aimed at you. “Oh, yes. There was a spare ticket since Kira’s still stuck on a job.” Oh shit, you should have offered it to Erron instead. You’d been so excited to be included in the cinema plans that you’d been selfish and not asked if Erron had wanted to go. “But……” Erron’s face scrunched a little and he turned to his computer and hit a few keys in quick succession. “It ain’t workin’ again. Sorry, darlin’.” He gestured to his computer. “But… I only fixed it this morning! What have you done this time?!” You dropped your bag to the floor, and peeled off your coat with a frustrated groan. You were going to get fired as there was no way Kano would believe this. You were completely and utterly incompetent. No other reason. Your fault. “It’s those darn computer gremlins again.” He gave you an apologetic smile and shrugged. You sighed and waved goodbye to Kabal and Tremor, both eager to watch Ninja Mime’s latest adventure, and this one was in SPACE, so it was going to be amazing, and you were missing it. You stomped over to Erron’s computer, your mouth twisted into a grumpy pout. “That is it. No more computers for you! you want to do some work; then you can bloody well do it on a typewriter.” Erron replied with a “Heyyyyyyy” and another laugh. The throb between your legs from the laugh can just sod off. No more. Not when you were going to be unemployed and unemployable after this. Who was going to hire you? What could you put on your CV? ‘Failed IT support worker’? ‘Only capable of turning a computer on and even then it’ll probably turn itself off again when you’re not looking?’ ‘Can steal FBI or Special Forces secrets but can’t keep an old man’s computer running for more than 3 minutes before it’s broken again’? ‘Want to play Solitaire? Well don’t ask me, best try the sudoku in the newspaper instead’. You were so engrossed in sulking you didn’t notice Erron get up from his comfy chair to stand behind you as you perched on the crappy stool with no back (it had no back because Tremor had tried to sit on it). It was only when strong hands found your hunched shoulders and began kneading at the tightly knotted and sore muscles that you looked away from the ‘blue screen of death’. “I’m sorry, but I’ll make it up to you, Sweetheart.” By the Gods his fingers were truly magic. His thumbs were rubbing magic circles into your shoulders and it felt soooo good. “Mmmhhhhh?” Maybe he was a God, the God of massage. Your eyes closed and your head rolled back. Heat radiated from where his fingers touched you, heat that only got stronger when it reached your face and between your legs. He found one particularly knotted muscle and you couldn’t help but groan your pleasure as his thumb circled the spot. His chuckled reply tugged you back to your senses and you quickly shrugged his hands off you. Thank the Gods you had your back to him so he couldn’t see your positively flushed face. You quickly got back to tapping away at the keyboard but your hands were shaking so badly from the intimacy you struggled to hit the correct keys. “You sure you got that, Sweetheart?” The computer made indignant beeps at your clumsy fingers. “Says the man who has trashed enough computers to practically bankrupt Kano.” Your hands continued to shake and your thwarted desire swerved into anger. “I’ve made you mad.” “I haven’t been out in FOREVER, and just as I’m about to go out, YOU go break your computer. AGAIN!” “Ain’t my fault your boyfriend doesn’t take you out.” Why did he sound almost happy about that? Hang on… You span around to face him. “What boyfriend?” “You know, the dwarf.” “The.. what?” “Your boyfriend, the hairy dwarf.” His arms folded, his weight shifted to one hip. He didn’t seem too happy talking about this mystery boyfriend. “Is this some sort of joke?” You honestly had no idea what he meant. Maybe he was drunk or Kabal had told him this for a laugh. “I don’t think so?” One of his eyebrows rose in puzzlement. “I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have a hairy dwarf boyf.. why do you think I have a hairy dwarf boyfriend?” Maybe you had a secret boyfriend so secret you didn’t know you were in fact dating him? Piotr, who ran a very seedy strip club in the seedier part of the city, was a dwarf, (and you only knew him because Kano was friendly with him), but he was balding. Who did Erron think you were dating? “You said you did. You know, you were talking about him being all small and his hair got everyw…. He’s a cat ain’t he.” Erron had the good grace to look embarrassed at his idiocy. “Obviously.” Was Kabal recording this? This was ridiculous. “Shit.” “Yup.” “Then.. uh.. you should go catch up with Kabal and Tremor.” “I still have your computer to fix.” This was going to be such an awkward few hours. Sitting in the office whilst neither of you spoke since you both felt like idiots. “I can do that.” He threw out a warm smile. “Really. The man who can’t even use a mouse without breaking it, can fix this mess?” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. If he even so much as looked at the computer it would probably catch fire. “I maybe exaggerated my lack of skills.” His smile turned, and slid from warm to worried. You were going to kill him if this was going were you suspected it was going. “I maybe might’ve deliberately caused the error.” He held up his hands in surrender. Yup, definitely going to have to kill him. “I maybe did some classes a few years back when I was at a loose end.” “…… I’m going to kill you.” “How ‘bout I make it up to you? I take you out for dinner, there’s this patisserie we can go afterwards for the best pastries in Moscow. Hell, you wanna watch that film, let’s go.” His eyes pleaded with you not to hate him, but right now you really did. “I have a hairy dwarf who’ll be better company, thank you.” That he was possibly asking you out and that he wanted to actually go out on a date wasn’t registering. All you could think of was the waste of time and how humiliated you felt. Everyone probably knew and had laughed at how utterly clueless you were. Kano was going to fire you for being shit at your job - after he’d finished laughing. “Heyyy, Sweetheart. I’m sorry. I just wanted to spend time with you.” He really did sound sorry. His eyes went all soft and warm and apologetic and Gods he was beautiful and you really did want to believe him. “You really thought it was accidental?” He tried to hide a smile and couldn’t stop one eyebrow from raising quizzically at the thought that you had been utterly clueless. “Well… you’re… there weren’t computers around when you were young…younger, I’m just an idiot aren’t I?” The-all-too brief warmth and fuzziness from thinking maybe there might actually be something there between you dissolved back into embarrassment from being tricked so easily. You grabbed your coat and bag and left the office whilst Erron stared after you.

#Erron Black #Erron Black X Reader #Erron Black X F!Reader #Kabal #Kano #Tremor #Mortal Kombat #Mortal Kombat X Reader #Mortal Kombat X F!Reader #Black Dragon #Black Dragon Boyz

87 notes · View notes

wannabecatwriter · 5 years

Text

Tag Thingie

Thank you for tagging me @katsujiilove, @dreamsongsims and @treason-and-plot.

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

1. Dogs or Cats? Cats, obviously! No offense to dogs, but cats are where it’s at.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities? Depends on who it is. I think we have too much of a preoccupation with celeb culture (OMG, I do not need to know what Kanye or whoever had for breakfast, ok?), but some of them, on both sides, are pretty cool.

3. If you could live in anywhere were would that be? Someplace without 90F+ weather and wildfires would be nice.

4. Disney or DreamWorks? They both have good stuff. I mean, the Train your Dragon movies are pretty cool, but so is Emperor’s New Groove.

5. Favorite childhood TV show? Too many to count. Darkwing Duck, Duck Tales, Tom and Jerry, etc.

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? Honestly, none, unless they finally release Now You See Me 3.

7. Favorite book you read in 2019? I can't really pick - read too many books this year. The Raina Sun mysteries by Anne R. Tan are pretty fun, though. The main character's grandma is an absolute icon.

8. Marvel or DC? Both! I watched both X-Men and Justice League practically religiously.

9. If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favorite Justice League member?

Although, I was partial to Flash and Nightcrawler, too.

10. Night or Day? If I had less trouble getting up early, I’d say Day, but Night it is.

11. Favorite Pokémon? Haunter!

12. Top 5 bands/artists: The Cat Empire, Scorpions, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Joe Satriani, Paloma Faith.

13. Top 10 books: (That I really enjoyed reading, for whatever reason) Karlsson on the Roof by Astrid Lindgren (all time favorite) American Gods by Neil Gaiman Septimus Heap Series by Angie Sage East of Eden by John Steinbeck Catch 22 by Joseph Heller 3. Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum October Daye Series by Seanan McGuire Children of the Red King Series by Jenny Nimmo The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

14. Top 4 movies: Secondhand Lions, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Whatever Works, Boeing Boeing (old movie, but so funny!), The Blues Brothers

15. America or Europe? Both have their pros and cons.

16. Tumblr or Twitter? Tumblr, but they really need to get their shit together.

17. Pro choice or Pro life? Pro choice.

18. Favourite YouTuber: Alonzo Lerone never fails to make me laugh. Also, if you’re really into crude inappropriate humor, Matthew James always delivers. And Saara is a gem.

19. Favourite author? Diana Wynne Jones, Neil Gaiman, Seanan McGuire.

20. Tea or coffee? Tea.

21. OTP? ParkerXHardison from Leverage.

22. Do you play an instrument/sing? The violin, if you can call it playing. More like, it’s a countdown until my neighbors beg me to stop.

Tagging @dandylion240 @muses-circle @simcatcher @simchronized @cawthorntales @littlesims2chick @reverieinsimlish @dreamsascend @kymmaisims @freckled-pixels @cassiessims

#non-sims #tag thingie

26 notes · View notes

missfaber · 5 years

Text

author interview

I was tagged by @orangeflavoryawp, thank you so much!

I already know I’m going to enjoy this way too much, writing is such a lonely endeavor and I just love talking about it, sooo... I apologize in advance for rambling.

name: Madeline/Maddie

fandoms: this is complicated because there’s fandoms I very much consider myself a part of because they’re just a huge part of my life, even though I don’t contribute content to them, and then there’s fandoms I do create content for. So idk where the line is drawn!

fandoms I contribute/ have contributed to: Avatar the Last Airbender, Game of Thrones, Merlin BBC, Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra

fandoms I haven’t contributed to but are so dear to me: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (my two favorite things ironically lol), and lots more

where you post: AO3, used to be ff.net and livejournal too

most popular one shot: by kudos, it’s as if death itself was undone (zutara, atla: katara wakes up to azula in their house and wants to find out a) why she is welcome b) why zuko is acting so weird)

most popular multichapter: by kudos, it’s soldier, go bravely on (jonsa + gendrya, got, complete, rewrite of the last episode of got with sweetness and angst and action, and may i say some common sense?)

favorite story you wrote: fuck omg this is difficult lol! because I both criticize and love all my stories in equal measure, I honestly don’t write anything that i don’t love, that doesn’t give me butterflies / actual chest pain (from angst). I feel like I’m being asked to choose a favorite child lol. so I’ll try to justify these picks somehow...

closest to my heart: soldier, go bravely on (also mentioned above). this is the fic that brought me back to writing fic, and to tumblr even! I was on hiatus (that I didn’t know was a hiatus because I had no intention of coming back) for six years before writing this fic. I wrote it so quickly after the got finale, it was such a passionate and fevered few days and it just sucked me back in to everything I used to love as a teenager. It was also a nice stretch out of my comfort zone, because of the dialogue (which was so tightly planned it’s ridiculous, I wrote the whole fic as a screenplay type thing first to make sure there wasn’t a single dialogue word not needed) and tv-episode style. It’s also such a wish-fulfillment fic that I can’t read certain parts without getting a bit teary. for all those reasons and more, this fic will always be so special to me.

most proud of: wolf, circle north (jonsa, got, alternate season 7 & 8). this is the longest fic I’ve ever attempted and the number I’ve hours I’ve sunk into it is astounding and i should be ashamed. It’s going to be obscenely long (my outline is 70+ chapters) and when I pull it off, best believe it’s going into a bound book so I can look at how thicc it is and be like, “I did that!” lol. The range of POVs is one of the most challenging but most rewarding part of this fic, and why I’m so proud of it. This is another wish-fulfillment fic for me, not just because it’s another fix-it fic but because I have been writing bits and pieces of this fic for about three years. I kept thinking of jonsa scenarios and little scenes I would have loved to see after season 6 and writing them in a little secret doc, just for me, as I never thought I’d write fic again. After writing “soldier” i had already broken my hiatus and I realized this fic was an actual possibility, so I put it out into the world. I couldn’t be more happy that I did that. Not only did it give me the chance to be in such an excellent, lovely fandom, but the feedback I get is so validating after having this be my secret little project for so long.

most formative: Coffee & Cigarettes, (merthur, merlin bbc) I’m ashamed to list this and the merthurs reading this 100% want to kill me for having the audacity because it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated since 2013 when there’s only one chapter left so what’s my excuse? I call this the most formative for me because until I published this I didn’t really have a fic that people followed and liked, eagerly awaited updates for, and commented regularly on. I was writing a lot of one-shots and atla stuff on tumblr (I used to RP lmao I was like 15 ok?) This was the first time I experienced so many fic-life things, like being excited to get AO3 emails, etc. This was the first time I started to really focus on character which is so important to me now, my writing is completely character driven. Not to mention Merlin and Arthur’s dumbassery and sheer attraction and denial is just... *chef’s kiss*

guiltiest pleasure: my recent foray into nedsei, who am I??? one more word and you won’t survive, just international hate sex

story you were most nervous to post: ummm idk I’m usually excited not nervous, since for me fic writing is just fun, I write things I’d enjoy reading and that I’m proud of. I read my own fics more than anyone else does, I guarantee it. am I a narcissist? who knows I guess I’ll say “soldier” again because I hadn’t posted fic in six years.

how you choose your titles: wow the hardest part of fic writing for me!!!!! thanks!!!!! lol. Okay so for my work titles, which are always terrible and I literally regret them immediately after posting, it’s usually just some words I play around with and string together that are somewhat thematic and related to the work... they’re always terrible lmao, I hate making titles. I mean, look at “soldier, go bravely on” and “wolf, circle north” for god’s sake, I hate them lmao. But I have to pick a title to post, so!!! For chapter titles and one-shots I’ll usually go with a song lyric, and especially for my chapter titles I spend so long seeking out the perfect one that reflects some thematic or emotional content of the chapter somehow. I’m very proud of my chapter titles for wolf, circle north. I have a doc on my scrivener just for chapter titles that I created in the very early stages of writing it, where I just dumped HUNDREDS of song lyrics that I thought I might use. Then by them I wrote some scenarios where they could work. here’s a screenshot:

It’s so helpful now. Sometimes posting an update will take an hour more than necessary because of me going through that doc, finding the perfect lyric.

do you outline: OH, DO I OUTLINE... Hell Yeah, I outline. I couldn’t live without outlining. I love outlining. My outlines have outlines. I’m a planner centric, calendar centric, bullet-journal bitch so of course I love outlining. In all seriousness though: I write out of chronological order. I feel my writing is best when I write the scene I’m in the mood to write- unfortunately this scene could be ten chapters down the line from the chapter I’m gonna post next. This is the biggest reason outlining is necessary for me. If I didn’t have an outline, my story would be a non-post-able mess.

I wasn’t kidding when I said my outlines have outlines. For wolf, circle north I have, um, a few. Character/location centric outlines where I bullet every scene that needs to happen for that plot to happen cohesively (these were all more or less completed before I even started writing the fic), then a “loose” outline that I copy everything from the other outlines into for some semblance of chronological order, then a Polished Final Outline that I write from. I know that sounds psychotic. It’s how my brain works. Some photo evidence/explanation:

And here’s a screengrab of my Final Outline, this is pretty much how it is all the way down- The POV character is italicized in the front, I talk to myself a lot in there, let myself get carried away, will sometimes write out whole segments of the scene if they come to me while outlining. Spoilers for chapters 1-3 of w,cn I guess!!!

Then, because scrivener is awesome, I get to see this outline in the corkboard view (I input every scene as a card) and so I get to see every part of my outline as a Synopsis on the right hand side of the doc where I’m writing the scene:

The POV and status tags (which are completely customizable) on the lower right are helpful too. This post is just a scrivener ad.

complete: 9 works

in progress: 4 works

coming soon / not yet started: I have so many fics in the works, I’m an indulgent person so if an idea comes to me I usually go with it for a time. I’ve had a very not-serious Jonsa PLL AU I’ve been writing on and off since summer. I have three different fairytale AUs (also jonsas) I’ve been working on and one time travel AU for @sunbeamsandmoonrays. I can’t say when or if any of these will see the light of day, because my priority is my WIPs and my original writing. But the most prevalent are my Halloween fics (one jonsa, one gendrya, one merthur) which I really want to be able to put out this month, but only if I meet some other goals. I’m trying to rein in my indulgent ass, ya’ll.

do you accept prompts: no. sorry! but I do workshop ideas with friends, for example the nedsei fic happened that way by talking with @flibbertigiblet. But I don’t take writing prompts in my inbox.

upcoming story you are most excited to write: my halloween merthur fic. it’s witchy, sassy, and I’m so excited to get back into the heads of these characters.

Tagging! @uchihabat @anniebibananie @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth @sailorshadzter @vivilove-jonsa and any other lovely writer soul who wants to do this!

#askjshssj thanks for reading this lol i went off!#my writing #writing things #jonsa #merthur #zutara #fanfiction #fanfiction writing

33 notes · View notes

smoresmoresmore · 5 years

Text

Will edit later

I just have to say

I was possibly exposed to Rabies and came to Tumblr for help and advice and was THOROUGHLY AND DISTURBINGLY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE RABIES TAG.

Omg

I was convinced I was going to die and searching anything Rabies related was UNHELPFUL AF. Not judging but y'all did not help lol.

Very long explanation of why I thought I was going to die:

Waking up to a bat (2 nights in a row) is not automatic cause to assume you will die but it is, I found out after talking to the Dept. Of Agriculture and their Epidemiologist, an immediate cause to go straight to the ER and get shot up with the vaccine and immunoglobulin so you DON'T POTENTIALLY DIE. It is not something the doctors can argue against and it is not something you should postpone. Especially since I was "under the influence" (Nyquil) at the time and even less likely to notice if I had gotten scratched or bitten. My being unaware was the key point in the urgency of going to the ER.

The ER doc was highly annoyed I knew just what to say ("I woke up with a bat in my face") and he grumpily admitted he was bound to follow CDC protocol. His annoyance was so obvious he repeatedly told me how unlikely it was I was bit and explained how "intense" the shots would be. I assume he felt the medicine could be put to better use on someone who was 100% sure and/or was injured. When I asked him what would happen to me if I WAS bitten and didn't get the shot like he wanted, he sighed and admitted "Well, you die."

"Well, shoot me up, doc!"

That night I got 7 shots. One in my arm, which hurt so bad--I guess because my nurse was new and may habe gone too deep because the subsequent shots I have gotten in the same arm haven't been anywhere near as painful-- and 6 in my buttcheeks. 3 in each.

Waking up from my Nyquil coma to a bat in my face was not fun. I had never related to those movie scenes of people screaming and running around afraid if bats. But jessuz. They are fast. And this one was swooping around my living room and deliberately getting super close to me. I had to hide under my blanket and in my fevered state this made me sweat. Trying to herd it to my now opened windows did not help. I tried to call police, fireman andnanimal control; the 1st two were useless and the 3rd was not open at 1am.

Eventually I reached out to my townie facebook group and got advice. White towels attract them. Or make it dark and quiet and hide--I did this as I was not going to run around with a towel in my undies like that video--which worked. 2 very concerned people urged me to go to a doctor.

"You say you have flu-like symptoms and a constant fever and you sleep in that room a lot. You really need to go to the ER. Rabies is so dangerous."

And after 2 nights of dealing with bats and my fever spiking right around the time they show up, I existed in a dark hole of stress. So much so that the second morning I woke up to my hand twitching erratically and my thumb muscle spasming and I started bawling. I had already gotten the shots the day before so I knew if I encountered anything rabid I should be okish (I still had 3 more to go before I was fully protected) but now, with my glitchy hand, I was panicking about "WHAT IF I ALREADY HAD IT?!"

Urgent Care had ruled out Strep twice for my odd sickness and had assured me I have a random virus and to just stay in bed for a few days. Which I had been doing faithfully, before getting bored and moving to my livingroom nest. I like to sleep in there a lot and often do when the weather is nice. I just made sure to drink water and tea and get sunlight and all the things. Including Nyquil. But my fevers were getting worse. I was feeling like crap. And now what we all assumed to be A Normal Virus was morphing into my worst nightmare.

Probably egged on by 101 temperatures, I called around until someone was willing to explaon to me whether I was dying or not. Getting told "You'll be fine. It is SO RARE," did not calm me down. I needed someone to explain how the long incubation period (months to a year) and symptoms (flu like, emotional, twitchy) did not match me.

I slept in that room on accident and on purpose since moving in almost 9 months ago. I'm a heavy sleeper and don't wake up easily. Iffff I had been bitten during one of my all-nighters doing math homework or essay writing, it makes sense I would suddenly get a random "virus" that isn't going away. I had it all worked out in my head. I was getting headaches in the sun and stores. I forced myself outside and out and about when I felt ok because fuck it if I was going to let this be a symptom I had. I was getting anxious in the shower but, knowing fear of water was a symptom, I forced myself to stay in it. (Turns out my paranoia was right. The water was starting to be hard and my skin was breaking out. It is very annoying. The timing was just horrendous)

All the doctors and nurses kindly told me I was safe since I had started the shots but no one had an answer for me when I asked if they helped if I hadddd it already. They weren't sure. The amount of information they have or are willing to share is astonishingly low.

After 2 hours of phone tag I was finallly able to get an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor. She told me that if I did have it there was no real evidence about the vaccine helping, especially since I had only had the first dose at that point. She told me it would be fast though and they couldn't tell until "you're foaming at the mouth." She asked to look in my mouth and when I told her about my drooliness she said to let her know if it got worse. She asked about my hand. I told her. She asked about numbness and I freaked cuz my arm did go numb at one point.

I askwd her about tests. I had read that there were a few--spinal fluid, spit, blood--that were not really reliable. She said since I had the vaccine and immunoglobulin in my system already they would show up and it would be pointless.

My only option was to wait. And chill. And try not to dwell on the fact that there is no answer or cure or way to find out if I should plan my trip to Oregon and die or if I should allow my boyfriend to visit me.

He was firmly in the You Don't Have Rabies camp and came over anyway to feed me soup and hang out. But I refused to kiss him. It made him very sad and probably extremely exasperated.

My boss was so done with me when he asked if I could come in the next day. "Sasha. You cannot have Rabies. Just come to work. You'll be fine." And I realized how crazy I sounded but I still warned all my coworkers.

Anyway, my lowgrade fever continued, my twitchiness stopped, my drooling stopped, my water was hard so I avoided the shower but cleaned my good bits, and once I doubled up my water intake my headaches disappeared. I went into a mini death spiral for a day but decided to force myself into believing I was fine.

When I started getting confused and fainty, I bought Iron supplements. When I started getting angry and anxious, I called my friends and got distracted. When it was time to get another shot, I made sure to update everyone of the weirdness Just In Case.

One nurse took the time to sit me down and listwn. That's really all I needed since no one had answers. I just needed my mind soothed and concerns not dismissed. She couldn't explain the muscle spasm but could definitely see why I was freaking out. She was the one who tested me for peace of mind. She looked into Lyme disease. She found my anemia. She explained that the amount of time that had elapsed made her sure I was going to be ok. She had watched people die in Africa from this and shw said it happens So Fast it is tragic. I would not be able to organize a trip to Oregon to die. I would become incoherent and slip away within days.

That was what I needed. A timeframe. A legit explanation of what it looks like and how it happens. And why I don't fit. This whole time I had been wondering how to tell my friends. Whether I could write all their numbers down in case I couldnt function enough to call them or remember my phone password. I was planning on cleaning my apartment so good so the landlord couldn't bash me when I was bouncing off the walls and hissing at him. I was deciding who I really needed to contact and who I could live without wasting breath on. I was planning a goodbye party. I told all 3 of my lovers ("´hey, I have this thing there is no real test for while you're alive but there is once you die so you can't get tested, and you may have it so got get shot up but no one is sure if that will help much," but I did tell them and it was hilarious to them. My favorite response being "RIP" and "F") And this all had put me in such a dark place that, coupled with a few shitty days at work with my bully of a manager, I also asked for a psych person to visit me after the Rabies shot.

After her talk I was like, oh. Thank godddd. And kinda annoyed at having to wait an extra hour in the ER for a talk that could wait til morning. But I chatted with rhem and asked for referral to a shrink since this had just highlighted how much I need help with my anxiety. Especially since the temporary issue of Rabies was being resolved but my cruel manager was still going to exist now that I was going to survive this beef with nature. It was nice to think of that way "my rabies beef is getting cooked" and the pscyh lady got me help. So that was nice. I just mainly needed to get healthy again so I could

I mean. Almostbarelybutnotreally facing a cruel death was a great way to look at life and reflect on some things. There are messes I am not at fault for, messes I avoid that I shouldn't, people and things I value and the objects that matter to me more than others for ridiculous reasons. I was so grateful to the staff for putting up with me. And for you for reading.

All of this just to say

Circle circle dot dot

Soon I get my last Rabies Shot

#rabies #cdc #cdc protocol #vaccines #vaccination #vaxxed #immunoglobulin #rabies vaccine #shots #medicine #bats #stress #i thought i was dying #and then tumblr happened #rabiosexual #rabidloving #feralgender #rabioromantic

15 notes · View notes

ultra-mega-blaster · 6 years

Text

Rabbit Hole

Here’s a story my Patreon supporters got to read a couple months ago! Why don’t you come join the Sleepytime Army? Get exclusive stories and vote on what I write next! https://www.patreon.com/sleepytimeslut

Zoe was slumped down in the back row of the classroom, scrolling through Tumblr on her phone instead of paying attention to the teacher. Like usual.

Oh, here’s a sexy picture to share. Here’s a gif to attach a few lines of dialogue to… She liked teasing the boys (and girls) online, and they liked teasing her. Especially when she was in class and couldn’t do anything about her rising horniness.

Oooh, a hypno story, her favorite. She checked that the teacher was droning on, and not looking her direction, and started reading. Just a couple paragraphs in, she knew it was a good one. She reblogged it to finish reading later, and to share it with her followers (her many, many followers … how had that happened?) and kept scrolling. Ooh! A spiral! Don’t get distracted … But uunnnfff, so easy to get distracted … to get drawn in …

She shook herself, sharing the spiral with a drooling smiley face, and moved on.

“I’m a little concerned, looking at your last batch of papers, that so many of you got to college without apparently learning how to punctuate a simple compound sentence, much less to fill it with original thoughts …” Miss Thompson was saying.

Zoe squeezed her thighs together, feeling the arousal spread through her body. She looked around. Nobody looking. Good. She knew she should be listening, should be taking notes, but all she could think about was her needy pussy.

The constant alerts from her phone kept drawing her back to the glowing rectangle in her hand. BUZZ. Another favorite blog had just shared something, Tumblr wanted her to know. BUZZ. Someone was tagging her in a pic of one of her favorite porn stars. BUZZ …

She was powerless. She had to look, every time the phone buzzed. Every time Tumblr fed her more. She didn’t used to be like this, did she? She used to have, like, an attention span and stuff? Could leave her phone alone for a few hours? Now she was addicted … like she had conditioned herself to salivate at the buzzer.

Or been conditioned, came a whisper.

Been brainwashed.

Cuntwashed.

Drippy cunt. Salivating pussy …

BUZZ.

Ooh! a hot little gif that someone wanted her to see – “wanna ride me like this?” he asked, adding Zoe’s handle. Where was the teacher? Zoe knew she should scan for Miss Thompson again, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

BUZZ BUZZ. Three more guys wanting to talk to her privately. She was already keeping four conversations going …

This one, for instance, was telling her, in detail, what he would be doing to her if they were in a hotel room together right now. She was giving as well as she was getting, egging him on, hoping he was stroking to her words they way she wished she could be rubbing to his. This one was begging her to punish him, and reveling in her attempts to be domineering. And this one … oh, this one kept sending spirals, and inductive texts, drawing her ever downward (or trying to), making her sleepy, making her horny … making her a mindnumbed cockslave …

She tapped the little pencil symbol to make a public post.

“You guys are making me so horny!!!” she typed.

I’m supposed to be paying attention to the teacher right now but my tumblr feed is full of porn and 3 of you fuckers are having hot conversations with me trying to make me horny and IT’S FUCKING WORKING I’m sure my neighbors can smell me I’m so turned on I can feel how drippy I am goddammit I need to stroke I’m not gonna make it

That was a mistake, of course. As she knew it would be. The sharks smelled blood in the water, and circled.

“Just keep watching little slave. Soon you’ll be my little cock hungry whore”

“It’s just so nice to be able to turn off your brain for a while, ya know? Join me?”

“And when I say “horny bunny” you’ll have a powerful urge …”

“Mmm damn what a view! Your nice tight pussy wrapped around my cock feels so damn good. I’m going to enjoy fucking you hard, bottoming out hitting your womb”

“…And then one day you wake up and you’re an empty headed pink bimbo, with no thoughts in your dumb bimbo head but getting bigger tits and pleasing your Mistress’s pussy…”

Another public post:

Ogod now ur all piling on cumming our of the woodwork why csnt i turn off this app why do i keep lookin im not gonna make it im such a dumb hotny cow

Sent.

And back to messaging, the words pummeling her brain –

Blank. Obedient. Responsive. Counting from 10. Letting your mind slide away. Relaxed. Empty. No thoughts. 8. Letting go….

Then, even before she could register the shadow over her desk, a hand snatched the phone from her fingers.

“You know the rules about phones in my class, Zoe,” said Miss Thompson. Zoe made a choked whimper, her fingers mindlessly twitching after the phone.

“You can get it back later. If you’re good.”

If you’re good. If you’re a good girl. Good girls obey.

Zoe whimpered again, as Miss Thompson walked away. She was going to have to sprint to the ladies’ room when class was over. The phone would have to wait. Her clit was throbbing … and she needed to obey.

*****

Later, after everyone had filed out, Miss Thompson carefully and (BUZZ) meticulously wiped clean the blackboard. She liked the board to be as neat (BUZZ) and tidy as her desk.

(BUZZ)

What on earth was – Oh. Right. That girl’s phone was still on the desk. Vibrating away, for some unknown reason.

She sat down and picked it up, turning it on. Silly child didn’t seem to have a lock on the –

A rainbow of porn leapt out of the screen and slapped Miss Thompson about the face.

Cocks going into young women’s mouths. A girl’s tongue on a pussy. “Zoe, are you still there?” Breasts, so many breasts. “Zoe, girl, look how hard you made me …” A maelstrom of dark and light flesh that she couldn’t make sense of for a moment, until she saw the caption “gangbanged fuckslut made airtight with BBC” … which, to be frank, didn’t ENTIRELY explain the picture to Miss Thompson, but it let her figure out what some of the shapes were …

Horrified, repulsed, Miss Thompson started scrolling. And couldn’t stop scrolling. Stories of incest and bondage. Lewd photos and gifs, scenes of decadence and degradation. She shook her head, her mouth open, but she couldn’t stop …

And the hypnosis. Over and over in the girl’s feed, the hypnosis! Glassy eyed girls with drooping mouths, baring their breasts … Women with spirals in their eyes, and cocks in their mouths … Flashing gifs with pictures and words, too fast to follow, telling her how she should be, how she must be, how she knew she already was, if she would just admit it to herself … Inductions, and fantasies, and more spirals, and submissive, drooling women, eager to serve cock, to serve pussy, to become slaves to their own needy cunts …

Miss Thompson hadn’t noticed how hard her nipples had gotten. She hadn’t noticed how wet her own cunt was, until she found herself dipping in a finger … She bucked against her hand, but didn’t stop stroking … just kept scrolling …

Someone calling himself Master of Mystery – except with some of the letters replaced by numbers – BUZZed into a private message. “Getting pretty horny, Zoe? Pretty needy and desperate?”

“No,” she found herself typing. “I mean, no, I’m – I’m not … No.”

“Oh, you certainly sounded pretty desperate to me. You sounded like a little slut who needed permission to cum … A naughty fucktoy who can’t stop touching her princess parts even though she’s not supposed to …”

Miss Thompson bit her lip and with an effort pulled her hand away from her pussy. “I’m not Zoe. I am Miss Thompson, her teacher,” she typed.

She tried to pull herself together.

“And you should keep a civil tongue in your head, young man.”

“Ohhh! Naughty, naughty, teacher … Are you looking through a confiscated phone? And getting TURNED ON by someone else’s Tumblr porn? You are, aren’t you … Go ahead, you can admit it …”

“i” she typed and sent by mistake.

She cursed.

“I will do no such thing. I am … I am putting the phone down now.”

“No you’re not.”

She hesitated. He seemed so sure. She waited, panting.

“You won’t, because you would have already without saying anything. You would have before you got so horny scrolling through her feed.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Because you are horny, aren’t you? All pent-up, tied up in knots …”

“Yes, yes, I am, OK, but there’s nothing wrong with that”

“No, not at all. Tell you what. You seem tense. Let me help you relax. Can we do that?”

“Um”

“Just focus on your shoulders for a second. Feel how tight they are? Tighten them up even more, just for a second. Take a deep breath in. And then let it out, and as you do, feel all the tension go out of your shoulders …”

“what”

“Sshh shh you don’t have to say anything just listen. I’m going to count, and with each number you’re going to release a little tension, and it’s going to turn into warmth … warmth spreading through your body …

“And then maybe we’ll look at a spiral together for a while … You’ll like that …”

*****

Zoe was feeling SO much better – though her legs were still a little wobbly – as she walked toward the classroom door. She couldn’t believe she’d left her phone behind! She hoped she could get it back quietly, without much fuss. There didn’t seem to be a class in there now. Maybe she could just slip in and grab it?

She eased the door open gently … and then almost dropped her backpack in surprise.

Miss Thompson was sprawled, nearly nude, in her wooden rolling chair! Her skirt was bunched around her middle, panties on the floor, white blouse and bra tangled on her desk. Most surprising of all, one hand was operating Zoe’s phone, and the other hand was operating Miss Thompson’s bushy cunt!

She stepped closer, sliding the backpack gently to the floor. The teacher’s breathing was ragged, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glassy … and sure enough, Zoe could see a spiral on the glowing screen. She tiptoed close enough to read over her shoulder.

You want to watch

To let the spiral suck you in

To let my spiral suck away all resistance

You want to become mindless for me, because it feels so good to stop thinking

Each word you read will bring you pleasure, and each second you spend watching will make you sink deeper and deeper, until you can’t help but obey …

She reached around her teacher’s body, and cupped both breasts at once.

Miss Thompson gasped, and then relaxed with a moan as Zoe began kneading her nipples.

“How are you doing, miss?” she whispered.

“Can’t … Can’t cum. Need to … but don’t … don’t have permission…”

“Mmmm.” Zoe tweaked her nipples, massaging her surprisingly full and warm tits. “I know it’s a lot to handle if you’re not used to it. I’ve been sliding into this rabbit hole a bit at a time for months, so I’ve built up a liiiittle bit of an immunity.” Partially true, anyway. “But my feed and my followers must have hit you like a ton of bricks.”

Zoe giggled to herself, as her teacher panted.

“Who are you talking to,” Zoe murmured.

“M-Master of Mystery,” Miss Thompson gasped, her back arching.

Ah yes, thought Zoe. Also known as Kevin.

“Tell him I’m here. And ask him what I should do to you.”

“Master …” Miss Thompson typed, and after a moment, responded.

“He says to get on your knees and lick my s-slutty, juicy c… cunt.”

Zoe smiled. “That’s what I was hoping he was going to say,” she murmured as she knelt.

After all, she thought. Good girls obey.

source:

http://sleepytimeslut.tumblr.com/post/173458443306

5 notes · View notes

meditatemoremedicateless · 6 years

Text

Rachel Has Two Hands (Hell is Empty pt. 2)

Fandom: Life is Strange Pairings: Amberrich, Pricerich, Amberprice, Amberpricerich Tags: polyamory, pining, fluff Words: 5,400

Summary: Steph struggles with her feelings about Rachel and Chloe's performance in The Tempest. Her starts spending more time with Chloe and Rachel, leading to an unexpected kiss and an even more unexpected conversation.

Read the full story on Tumblr, Ao3, or ff.net.

By the time the cast party had officially started, Steph was sure she had it figured out. She was also sure she could explain why she was totally okay with what happened and how genuinely beautiful the performance had been. She'd just talk to Rachel sometime during the party and say that she and Chloe would make a beautiful couple and even though Steph liked her, she wasn't going to toss away a friendship out of jealousy. Queer girls have to stick together. They can't afford to burn bridges just because someone fell for someone else, else they would all become islands, as alone as Arcadia Bay on the coast of Oregon.

The cast party was at Hayden's house because it was the biggest and his family was already used to the Vortex Club using it from when his older brother had been a member. Everyone was split up into their little cliques, like Nathan, Victoria, and their friend Taylor on the stairs after returning from smoking weed in the bathroom, or Steph, Dana, Juliet, and Hayden hanging out on the couch and piano bench. Hayden's mom apparently had the biggest goddamn grand piano Steph had ever seen outside of an orchestral hall, which immediately explained a lot of things about him. Rachel was supposed to get dropped off by her parents, so she was running a little late, and the crew kids like Brooke and Luke mostly kept to themselves, so it felt kind of weak for a cast party.

Dana got a text and checked her phone. A second later, she asked out, "Hey, Hayden - Rachel's walking here with Chloe, is that cool?"

What?!

"Uhhh yeah, totally. Do they need a pick-up?"

"I dunno, let me check."

Rachel sent texts faster than Steph could talk, so only a few seconds later Dana called, "Nope, they're almost here."

Oh shit.

Steph had been mentally preparing this whole time to talk to Rachel because Rachel would already be hanging out with her. But the prospect of pulling her away from Chloe to have the conversation about how totally cool she was with them getting together was on a whole new level. Steph considered herself a pretty tough cookie - stoic, even, when she had to be - but she could only make so strong a face in so little time. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to hear why Rachel chose Chloe over her.

"Wow, the fire's getting pretty crazy," said Taylor from the hall. "The air quality outside is getting really bad, and containment's dropped to 10 percent. Apparently we're advised to stay in-doors until air quality improves? Crazy."

No. No no no this cannot be happening. Steph wanted to leap to her feet and flee, just walk home in the dead of night, but she knew no one here would let her - walking outside while ash rained from the sky was a stupid idea and she knew it. She was going to be stuck here until morning with Rachel like she had planned to be. Unless. Unless.

Steph stood up and said, "Hey, uh, Hayden, I kind of . . . feel sick. And with the fire, I don't think I should walk home . . . do you think you could give me a ride?"

He sat there and blinked for a few seconds, looking Steph up and down, probably picking up that she looked perfectly fine.

Still, Hayden was a cool dude. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess."

Rachel: i didnt see you last night.

Rachel: hayden said you were sick Rachel: how are you feeling?

Rachel: steph?

Rachel: i'll see you at the showing tonight, OK? i want to talk to you.

Rachel: you ran off again Rachel: are you mad at me?

Steph: I'm not mad

It was midnight, Saturday night giving way to Sunday, and they had two shows to run the next day. Steph didn't have time to stay up tonight, but once she was back in her bed again, in the dark, alone, she had started crying. She absolutely hated how upset she was. She had absolutely no fucking right to be ignoring Rachel. This was exactly the sort of behavior that could devastate her hopes for a small circle of queer friends - being jealous and petty and slinking away into the night to be alone.

She had just been caught off guard. She had gotten her hopes up, sitting alone and flirting with Rachel in the dressing room. She had taken Rachel's fun and flirtation as an indicator of her feelings, when she knew that was just how she acted. She liked that about Rachel. She liked the way she could charm and dazzle her way through anything, how she always picked herself back up when she started feeling insecure, how she could make anyone feel special.

Rachel: are you avoiding me?

Steph: Yeah. I haven't known what to say to you, and I still don't.

Rachel: did i do something wrong?

Steph: no, it's nothing like that.

Rachel: do you want to be left alone?

Steph didn't answer that, which proved to be enough of an answer by itself.

The Culmination Fire died suddenly in the night, and by the time Steph left for the school the next day, the air quality was almost back to normal. At the very least, Steph didn't have to come on stage and announce that audience members with asthma or other breathing difficulties would be given tickets for next week or full refunds if they wanted to leave. Steph kept herself busy constantly, and for most of the day she felt normal, no time to think of Rachel when Prospera was the one needing attention. They were never alone long enough to have a conversation that wasn't immediately about the play, and Steph biked off by herself during lunch time.

And that is how, on this ashy-gray Sunday afternoon, Steph ended up getting her lunch at the Two Whales diner only seconds before Chloe Price walked through the door.

Steph anticipated dread when she ran into Chloe again, but to her surprise, it didn't feel any different than the other few times they'd seen each other on campus.

"Hey Steph, what's up?" Chloe asked, sliding into the other side of the booth as if they'd planned to meet up. "Heard your cast's been crushing it."

Steph smirked. "Oh, they have. Maybe not quite as hard as Friday, but our troupe isn't slouching. The Tempest's script, on the other hand . . ."

"Pff, yeah, that thing is, uh, and don't tell the Bard I said this but, it's kind of a mess."

Chloe had dyed her hair since they talked on Friday - just a streak of blue among the blonde, like Rachel's feather earring. It looked goofy, but cute. She'd come in wearing a beanie but dropped it on the table, making them look a little less like the lead members of an alternative girl band together, if not by much.

Steph quirked her eyebrows, bemused. "This - coming from the girl who learned like a dozen lines in a few minutes and improv'd her way into the Beacon and Totem? You sure seemed to jive with the mess."

Chloe leaned back in the booth, pleased at the praise. "I guess it's just in my nature to surprise people. For instance, Principal Wells? Not the happiest dude when it turned out I was reppin' Blackwell on the front page the same day he kicked me out. The message he left my Mom was . . ." she pressed her fingers close to her lips as if she were holding a joint and inhaled, then let out a dreamy sigh. "Epic. Totally worth the expulsion."

Steph snickered, taking a bite of her food. Chloe's eyes very obviously followed her hands down to her plate, begging for fries without asking for them.

Steph took the hint and said, "Here, how about as a thank-you for saving my ass, I buy you lunch?

"Deal," Chloe replied without hesitation. Grinning, she leaned back forward in her seat and stuck her hand out of the booth. "Yo, Mom!" she called.

One of the waitresses, a middle-aged blonde woman with the red-purple bags under the eyes of an insomniac, approached the table with an already-irritated, "Yes, Chloe?"

Chloe gestured across the table. "This lovely lady would like to treat me to lunch, for which I'll have chicken tenders, please."

The waitress - Joyce, her name tag said - put her hands on her hips and turned to Steph. "Now, is my daughter extorting you or is these chicken tenders given of your own free will?"

Steph held her hands up, as if surrendering. "Hey, Chloe deserves a lunch for saving The Tempest. I don't suppose you got a chance to see her in action?"

"I didn't even know she could act," Joyce replied with a scathing look, Chloe smiling back innocently. "But I'm glad she helped out. Maybe that'll make Mr. Wells think twice about his decision to expel her."

She sighed wearily, then said, "But chicken tenders, got it. It's nice to meet you . . .?"

"Steph. Stephanie Gingrich. It's nice to meet you too."

"Hello Stephanie, I'm Joyce. And I'll be right back."

As Joyce walked away, Chloe's attention rounded back to Steph. There were a few seconds of pause while Steph glanced around the diner, but Chloe brought her back with a sudden, "So, how did things go with Rachel?" Steph's blood ran cold. "Did you shoot your shot or what?"

"A-are you serious?" Steph asked, dumbfounded.

Is she insensitive as hell or just stupid? What?

Chloe blinked, surprised. "Uuhh?" she asked, sitting forward in her seat again. "I mean, yeah . . . you made it seem like you were really itching to do it, so I figured you would this weekend . . . while you've been around her so much."

Steph had a growing suspicion she had made a terrible mistake. "Aren't you . . . dating her?"

Now Chloe looked even more confused. "What? No . . . didn't we already have this conversation on Friday?"

"But . . ." Steph tried to pull all the disparate details, all the things that absolutely confirmed to her that they had been dating. "But, the play. That improv wasn't just in-character, that was you two talking. It was, like - fuck dude, it was seriously romantic. And then you two walked to the cast party together, like . . . like . . ."

Steph faltered as Chloe's face changed from 'I'm confused' to 'Are you an idiot?' Steph had watched Chloe give that face to almost everyone, but she hadn't ever had it directed at her. It was just a look, but it stung.

Chloe glanced down at the table for a second, clearing her expression, then back up at Steph. "Dude, what? That wasn't Rachel asking me out, that was her offering to run away with me."

What.

"Why . . . what?"

Chloe said, "Look, I don't really want to get into details or anything, but things have been . . . shit for me at home recently. For Rachel, too. I ran away from home for a few days and her family kind of took me in. That's why I was wearing, like, that jacket that was three sizes too small, and why I needed to go to the dorms. We walked to the party together to talk about running away but we didn't, like, do it. Running was only going to make our problems worse."

"I . . ."

Fuck!!

Steph pushed her plate into the center of the table so she could just drop her face straight onto the table. "I'm so fucking stupid!" she groaned. She hit her head once more in agitation. When she looked up, it all came out in a rush: "I thought you were wearing her jacket because you like, stayed the night. Like, stayed the night not had a fucking sleepover. And the whole improvised bit looked and sounded so much like a proposal it was like you two were about ready to just, start a life together or something. I - fuck!" Steph clutched the sides of her head. "I'm dumb! And I've been avoiding Rachel all weekend because of it!"

Chloe looked overwhelmed and doe-eyed, but all that came out of her mouth was a scoff: "Dude, what?"

Steph didn't have an immediate answer, and before she could think of anything to say, Joyce swooped in and dropped a basket of chicken tenders in front of Chloe. It distracted Chloe long enough for her to say, "Oh, hey, can I get barbecue and ranch, please?"

Her mother rolled her eyes and said, "I'll be right back," before continuing her loop around the diner.

Chloe took a minute to shove some fries in her mouth before remembering that they were having a conversation. She wiped her fingers on a napkin and said, "Alright, Steph, so. After Friday I was under the impression you were like, really good at communication and stuff, but it looks like you totally over-thought this into a problem that didn't need to be a problem. Even if our scene was like, kind of romantic or whatever, and even if she does like me back at all, it still seems like you should talk to her about it instead of . . . whatever you've been doing."

Chloe gave an abashed smile that quickly disappeared. "Weird advice, coming from me, I know, but seriously."

Steph's head was still cradled in her hands, but at least she was looking across the table instead of actively self-destructing. "So you do like her?" she asked.

"I'm only human," Chloe replied with a shrug and another fleeting smile. "But right now, I think she needs a friend more than . . . something else. From me, at least."

Steph shook her head. "I may be an idiot, but if you think she just wants to be your friend, so are you."

"I know," Chloe replied, like an admission of guilt.

Chloe turned to her food, and Steph took a minute to herself, to self-flagellate over how badly she'd fucked up and how it would be no wonder if Rachel's interest in her vanished like Steph had vanished on her. Whether or not Rachel would ever return her feelings, though, wasn't the point anymore. She had a friendship to salvage.

Steph: hey Rachel. I ran into Chloe during my lunch and I realized I totally blew it. After the play Friday night I thought you two were together and I thought you were just going to explain why you'd decided to go out with Chloe. I made everything in my head a way bigger deal than it was and I've been acting like a dick. I got so caught up in my version of what was going on I didn't even try to talk to you and that was so, so stupid, and I'm really sorry. I don't know how you feel about me or Chloe, but I know I really want to be your friend and be supportive.

Rachel texted back less than a minute later.

Rachel: steph, you are deep down kind of an idiot. but i get it. Rachel: im with my mom right now and its not a great time to talk but can we please talk later?

Steph: yeah, of course. I'll see you at the next show.

Steph sighed as she put her phone away.

"Wha'she say?" Chloe asked through a mouthful of food.

"Just that she wants to talk," Steph replied, leaning back in her seat, now resigned.

Chloe swallowed her food so she could talk properly and said, "Well, that doesn't sound like you've totally screwed the pooch. Maybe there's hope for you yet."

Steph shrugged, then said, "Well . . . thanks Chloe. For the heads-up. This could have gone worse, amazingly."

"No problem," she said, waving away the thanks. "I make a great supporting character."

Steph and Chloe both snorted.

After a short pause, Chloe said, "Hey, wait, don't you have to be back at the school like . . . now? The next show starts at 4:00, right?"

"WHAT?!"

Steph pulled out her phone and checked the time. Sure enough, it was 3:20, and she was supposed to have been back at the school five minutes ago at the latest.

"OhmyfuckinggodyouhavetobekiddingmehowamIthisbigofanidiotI'lldie-"

"Steph, yo, chill," Chloe interrupted. "Just get the check and I'll give you a ride."

Steph stared at Chloe with anxious befuddlement. "Since when . . . do you have a car?" Steph had literally seen Chloe get dropped off at school on Friday.

Chloe shrugged. "I kind of fixed up an old junker yesterday; it's mine now. You've had your tetanus shot, right?"

Steph didn't like the sound of that question.

The conversation with Rachel was much more 'Rachel talking about what was going on with her' than Steph had anticipated, and very little on why she was turning Steph down. As soon as they got into things, though, Steph just felt embarrassed and ashamed for putting another thing on her when she already had so much going on. She had just found out her mom wasn't her biological mother a few days ago, and that her father withheld her mother's e-mails and letters because she abandoned her as a toddler. She had been a heroin addict during the 1990s opioid epidemic, and although she had assured and re-assured Rachel's dad for years that she was clean now, she had respected his wishes to keep her away from Rachel. That was, at least, until this past week.

When Steph had asked her about the whole 'running away with Chloe thing', she talked about how she and Chloe met for the first time on Tuesday, about Chloe's mom's boyfriend moving in against her wishes, and how Rachel had asked her parents to take Chloe in for a while. How they only treated her nicely until she revealed she knew about Rachel's bio mom, and how Rachel's dad flipped on her and treated her like a street rat. Rachel nervously confessed how she had found Chloe, and Chloe had found her just in time for their lives to fall apart, and for them to be there for each other when they did.

Steph had been so caught up in her own life, and all the stuff going on with Mikey and Drew and their dad, it hadn't occurred to her how much could be going on outside of what she could see. She always felt like she could see things more clearly than other people, could see how pieces fit together - it was why she made a good stage manager, why she was a good artist. But there were some things she couldn't just piece together from context.

Rachel said she wasn't ready for a relationship right now, and Steph admitted she wasn't ready to date Rachel, that she didn't know her well enough to make a good girlfriend. They agreed they wanted to get to know each other better, and hugged each other tight, and that was it for a while.

Once The Tempest was over, Steph thought she'd have more free time to spend with Rachel, but as classes began to ramp up into finals and Rachel spent more lunches and weekends off with Chloe, they saw each other less for a while. At first that made her sad, but Rachel kept coming back happier, shining brighter than she did before.

Chloe and Steph started to hang out more, too. Chloe's de facto step father, David, proved to be an anthropomorphized kick in the pants, nevermind one of the most pro-authority bootlickers Steph ever had the displeasure of meeting, so Chloe showed up more and more at Blackwell to pick Steph up from the dorms and go for a drive.

Somewhere down the line from watching Bladerunner together and shitting on dudes from 4chan, the two of them realized their mutual love for cyberpunk and deep disdain for most men who professed to like cyberpunk. Mikey and Drew were not those men, though, so sometime in the middle of May the four of them started up a game of Shadowrun after bidding farewell to Calimastia and Elamon. After Chloe's ork street samurai, Mikey's elf mage, and Drew's human decker pulled off their first run, Chloe and Steph managed to peer pressure Rachel into joining as well. She showed up with a dryad shaman and, to no one's surprise, she and Chloe quickly dominated the roleplaying part of the game, although with very different angles (re: their characters were like, super mean to each other).

And this is how, the game night after school let out for the summer, Steph, Chloe, and Rachel ended up bringing backpacks full of homework to the fire ring next to Arcadia Bay's light house. There they drank beer Rachel managed to flirt into her possession and lit the past year on fire, cursing it and all of the shit it had brought them. They all drank too much and Chloe needed an hour or two to be sober enough to drive, so they ended up sitting on the beach, watching the waves roll in and out and the moonlight glimmer over the restless ocean. Chloe, as she often did after drinking, opened up a little, talked about her old friend Max, who had loved pirates and photographs, the girl she'd thought would become her high school sweet heart and marry, but they'd never even kissed and then she fucking left. And she turned petty to keep from turning sad and said how annoying it was that she'd never kissed a girl, didn't even know what it was like.

"It's easy," Steph told her, and held the side of her face as she kissed her.

Chloe was too stunned to even kiss back at first, but she got on her knees and turned so they could face each other properly, and the kiss was rough and they were a little drunk but it was warm and good. It was cute - Rachel even gave a little 'aww' - until Chloe's hand dropped high up on Steph's thigh and she squeezed and Steph moaned into their kiss.

Eventually, Rachel said, "Um, guys?" and they realized what they were doing, and Chloe laughed but Steph was crimson, invisible though it might be in the night.

Steph got dropped off at home first and tried her best to be quiet, but Meiser wouldn't stop barking after she got through the door and she had to shush him and feed him until he went back to bed. She fell asleep still half-clothed and exhausted, but woke up for the first time at 5:30am to a new text message from Rachel.

Rachel: hey, steph? chloe and i kind of just had sex and im having a lot of confusing feelings. Rachel: but i want to talk to both of you tomorrow, or this weekend at least Rachel: i like you and i just want a chance to talk to you both before this one thing makes a decision for me

Steph was jealous, of course. Insanely jealous. Rabidly jealous. But she was more sleepy than even that, so she fell back asleep without sending a reply.

She didn't wake up again until almost 1:00pm, and by then she had several more messages.

Rachel: just lmk when youre up and OK to talk? Rachel: i hope youre not mad at me

And from Chloe.

Chloe: Hey dude i'm really sorry if i kinda... escalated that kissing situation last night esp. when we were drunk.

Steph decided it was best to hold off replying until she'd had breakfast and coffee. Thus, it was almost 2:00pm when she texted them both.

Steph: heya Chloe. it's honestly okay. i liked it, but we don't need to make a thing of it, it was just nice.

Steph: hey Rachel. idk what type of conversation you're looking to have, but last night was weird and i'm not mad. i'm jealous, for sure, but, like, who you have sex with is none of my business.

Whatever else happened, she wasn't going to let this blow up her friendships. She'd been steeling herself against the possibility of Rachel and Chloe getting together this whole time, and she wasn't going to freak out again if that's how today ended. These friendships were new, but they mattered to her, and she'd fight for them.

Chloe showed up at Steph's house first, to her surprise, so they hung out downstairs and absolutely did not talk about what was son their minds. Instead, they played Super Smash Brothers and waited, even holding back on the smack talk because they were both fragile at the moment and they knew it. Even when Rachel finally arrived, they just switched to Mario Kart Wii and continued to avoid the conversation for a good hour.

Eventually, though, Rachel would not let this stand any further.

After they finished their third 150cc cup, Rachel set her controller down and said, "Guys? We need to talk."

Steph winced. Even if that was the reason why they were here, those were precisely the words she didn't want to hear. Nonetheless, she shut off the Wii and TV. Rachel patted the ground in front of her, and Chloe slipped from Steph's couch to the ground beside her. Steph followed suit, crossing her legs then dropping into her self-made seat.

How do you even start a conversation like this?

Rachel took a deep breath. "First, I just want to acknowledge that we were drinking last night, and things got a little messy and I may have things kind of askew in my head. But the thing is, on my end at least . . . I liked how last night went."

Chloe glanced between them. Her jaw was set and tense, like she was grinding her teeth, her brow furrowed. She asked, "What are you . . . referring to?"

Rachel brushed her hair behind her ear. "Well, um. I told Steph that we . . . were together last night. And I liked that. But I liked all of it. Like, when you two kissed," she tapped her finger-tips together, as if to mimic their kiss, "- that was pretty nice. And just. The whole thing."

"I thought that made you really uncomfortable?" Steph asked, puzzled.

Rachel shook her head. "No, not, uh, exactly. I thought it was cool, I just . . . maybe liked it too much and I thought that might go weird places."

It took a few seconds to Rachel's meaning to sink it, but it clicked into place with an, "Oh," from Steph.

Rachel started speaking faster now, "Yeah, and I liked it but I also felt pretty jealous because I'd never kissed either of you and that did go kind of weird places," she gave Chloe a pointed glance, but Chloe clearly didn't know how to emote in response.

Visibly uncomfortable, Chloe asked, "Rachel . . . what are you trying to say?"

Rachel put her head in her hands and rocked back and forth for a few seconds, collecting her thoughts. Then she said, "Look, I know that I like both of you. I've known that the whole time, I just . . . I thought I had to decide who I really like or I was going to fuck everything up. But I think going about things that way is where I'm fucking up. I think I just have to tell you both that I like you and I want to know if that is a thing that could be okay with you."

Steph blinked, another piece of the puzzle clicking into place. "Wait, are you saying you want to date Chloe and me?"

Rachel nodded vigorously, visibly relieved that Steph had put it into words. "I do. I know we've only been hanging out together for a few weeks but I really like this. I'd just like to . . . add some stuff. Like. Kissing and having sex . . . please."

Steph was dumbstruck. She wasn't repulsed or anything, she just had absolutely not expected the conversation to go this place and had not been prepared in the slightest. She hadn't even pictured this as a possibility. She wasn't even sure it was a possibility. How do you date two people concurrently?

Chloe raised her hand as she were in a classroom, and Rachel nodded at her. Chloe said, "Yeah, well, if Steph's into it, I am. I like you - you know that. I'm willing to talk about it, at least."

How is it that easy for her? What?

Rachel's attention turned back to Steph, and she made her nervous hair-brush tic again. "Steph?"

"I . . . I have no idea," Steph said, making a huge shrug. "I don't know what this would look like. Dates, hangouts, holidays - what would any of it look like? And what would Chloe and I be to each other then?"

"I dunno, friends?" Rachel said, shrugging in response. "Or . . . you could also . . ." she made another gesture like she had for their kiss, but more tentatively. She was blushing bright red, somehow more embarrassed about whatever she was trying to say now than all the bold stuff she'd already said.

"Also?" Steph asked. "Kiss? Or . . . date?" She grew increasingly perplexed with each question.

Rachel nodded again, tiny, nervous nods. Steph didn't think she'd ever seen her this meek about something, and knew she was stumbling into something Rachel wanted, but didn't know how to say.

Steph started to get caught in the same bog of embarrassment as Rachel. "I don't . . . think Chloe would be into dat-" but something about the way Chloe was looking at her gave her pause, and silence reigned for a moment.

"D-do you?" Steph finally stuttered out.

Chloe scratched the back of her head and replied, quiet, her voice mostly vocal fry: "I'd be down . . . if you are." When Steph just blinked at her, Chloe continued, more confidently, "You're like, really dorky and cute and hot, dude. Why do you think I was so into our kiss last night?"

"Because . . . because . . . we were drunk and . . ." Steph blinked dumbly for a few seconds, then just dropped onto her back. "BECAUSE I'M DUMB, OKAY?"

Today was too much. This whole conversation was entirely too much.

Eventually, from the floor Steph said, "Look, okay, yes. I like you both differently but I know if you asked separately I'd totally say yes. But is there like, a manual, or . . . something? I don't know what to do with the idea of two girlfriends."

"Actually," Rachel said with a self-conscious chuckle, "I kind of . . . was looking it up on my phone in the middle of the night, and there's like, a whole relationship-help genre for polyamorous people, and I was thinking if you two said 'yes' we could maybe buy some and read them together?"

Steph let out the longest sigh and then, "You're serious, aren't you?"

Rachel said, "I am."

"Chloe?"

"Hm?"

"I don't have a lot of date ideas yet, but if you're going to be sleeping over as often as you have been, we should . . . do that."

"Works for me."

Rachel scooted into Steph's field of view, raising up a finger for attention. She asked, "Steph?

"Yeah?"

"You and I are the only ones who haven't kissed yet. Would you mind if we did?"

Everything was already so crazy. And if there was any part of this that would make all the crazy feel worthwhile . . . maybe that was it. "Sure," she said. "Like, yes."

And Rachel leaned over and kissed her gently, sweetly, her curtain of hair falling over the both of them, blotting out everything but that long, lovely kiss.

When it ended, Rachel whispered, "Girlfriends?"

"Girlfriends," Steph whispered back, her voice filled with wonder.

#life is strange #fan fiction #before the storm #hell is empty #polyamory #fluff #pining #get together fic #ask out fic #steph gingrich #rachel amber #chloe price #amberrich #pricerich #amberprice #amberpricerich #ben writes stuff #long fic #request

8 notes · View notes

acceldance · 7 years

Note

Hey you, @your top 10 blogs and say why :D

I wonder if anyone is catching onto the fact that I am making icons for this as I go--BUT, WITH THAT BEING SAID! I had to think long and hard about this because well, I couldn't think of 10 blogs off the top of my head due to the fact that well, I don't talk to a lot of people ooc so this might be a mixture of mun/muse picking! I guess this is going to be a bit of a follow forever since I hit my milestone too.

@gctgud / @p-rimeape: LOOK AT THE GROWTH ON YOU! I remember when we used to talk about tumblr and you refused to come here. You were dedicated to the other platform until you saw the light and I couldn't be happier. You've learned a lot and it shows through your writing. You've adapted, acknowledged and exceeded expectations that you've laid out for yourself. You're a really great writer, I mean that. Its a marvel to see you write out any scenario and give it a flare that ought to be canon. You're doing so well and I know you'll keep on doing well. Don't stop. Can't stop--won't stop. You wanna be number one? Then go for it. I truly believe you have the ability to do so because when you have an idea, you not only hit the ground running, but you keep on running even if you don't have any backers or supporters. You use the drive to prove people wrong to further your cause and win them over with it later. Its great to see, its great to experience and its great to be on the other end cheering. NOW GET ON HERE AND RP WITH ME!

@challengingods: You are quite the character. You not only care for your muse, the people that you rp with, and the people outside of your inner circle but you have the ability and the drive to want to better with what you have. Some people would just stay stagnant and just keep what they have going right now. You on the other hand, like the feeling doing better by your character; you want to be able to expand on Goku and take him to heights others haven't. That is something that a lot of people don't do nowadays and that is something that a lot of people, I feel, lack. So, I feel that this is why a lot of people tend to leave their muses after a while because they don't feel that same connection with their character anymore. Your relationship with our muse is like a relationship with a person: In order to have that connection, you have to work with your character.

@hybrid-warrior: Well, well, fucking--well. What do we have here? Another pig for the slaughter? Ok, I might be musing the wrong character but, let's try this again. You're a great person both IC and OOC, even with your moments. Its interesting to see your interactions with other people on both your blogs; you don't make it seem as though you're rping with someone from other walks of life or even other fandoms. You make them feel at home with your characters and you make the reading experience for me and others (I'd assume) more enjoyable. I'm sure they're a lot of people who would like to see how different characters would act with others and I believe we have the ability to do so whether we notice it or not. Let your imagination run wild--its doing great for you.

@viticsus : VEGETA!!! I've never seen someone put forth so much love and dedication into their character like you have. Ten years as Vegeta? Holy shit! I think the longest I've ever rped a character solidly was Legolas for almost two years. You represent the prince of all Saiyan(s) in a way I'm sure he'd enjoy. You stick to him; you don't waiver on his emotions nor his mannerisms. You have so many people out here that are more than willing to bend their character some in order to fit narratives BUT NOT YOU! Oh lort not you and that is a breath of fresh air. I don't know how I'd feel if I saw Vegeta acting like, say, Goku or Gohan. I'd leave my dashboard. Your Vegeta is a gem and a forced to be reckoned with and its my honor and pleasure to have the ability to rp with them.

@z-amasu: WHERE TF U AT TO GET THIS LOVE? WHERE IS MY WONDERFUL SADIST? Well, you might be reading this, you might not--not sure, but your Zamasu/Goku Black is, to me, one of a kind. He's unyielding. He's relentless. He's a spectacle. Did you know you were my first rp fight in a long time? YEA--MY FIRST TIME GETTING BACK INTO FIGHTING IS AGAINST GOKU BLACK (GG). But your patience with me and the way you wrote your responses sang to me--like, it literally did. You can put music to your responses and they'll fucking sing. You have an elegance about you and it really reflects in Goku Black and your writing since, although he is what he is, it his complex that exerts his elegance, which comes out in your writing. COME HOME SOLIDER! WE MUST YOU!!!

@icefier: *SPRAWLS OUT ON YOUR DASH* MY BAE No, but seriously, I see you on the dash as Frieza and I instantly stop what I'm doing to see what you have to say because, I always need a dose of frieza and yours always gives me what I'm looking for. When you dig yourself out the snow, come back to the dash--k?

@doctormyuu / @scperxvii: I never thougth I'd rp with a super seventeen to be honest. I never thought I'd see the day. But, you made the day and our rp apparently already has my muse breaking her usual antics. THEN AGAIN--I CAN'T BLAME HER FOR THIS! Its a joy to write, to see you perform and you see you on the dash. How many people you know would take up a character like Dr. Myuu? That shows dedication and love for a character.

@undinaes: What can I say about my child---I can say a lot and it'd probably be roast city and the last thing we all need to smell is the stench of salt water fish being cooked over an open fire. But, what I love most about Kas is Kas. Kas the sass--she gets it from mama

@ryuuseiken: WHOEVER HAS A PROBLEM WITH LILLI NEEDS TO COME SEE ME SO I CAN KNOCK Y'ALL DOWN A PEG. HOW CAN YOU HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING? SUCH A SWEETHEART? WHO THE HELL DIDN'T HUG Y'ALL???? My lilli is my world. She is one of my best friends and I'll put on my armor and go to war for Lilli. Y'all don't need to test me, gt it?

@ALL OF U CAUSE WITHOUT ANY OF YOU, THIS BLOG WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE. WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT, I WOULD'VE PROBABLY DELETED BY NOW. Seriously, I bounced around the idea of deleting 18 so many times now because I felt that not a lot of people wanted to rp with me or even be around me. I wasn't sure if it was because of the lack of ooc, my shipping choice or just the fact that they probably don't feel 18 the way I do, but its nice to be proven wrong. I get tagged in so much positive stuff that I'm in amazement. I honestly, never expect people to say anything nice about me; I don't expect them to talk about me in a positive light or anything of the sort. It really is nice to see that they're people out there that actually are human beings still and don't allow their idealism and whatnot to get in the way of them being a human being to others.

Thank you, everyone.

-D.B. Cooper.

#✪ 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝙱𝙰𝙳𝙻𝚈 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗? (ASKBOX)#✪ 𝙸'𝚖 𝙳.𝙱. 𝙲𝙾𝙾𝙿𝙴𝚁 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚗. (OOC)#so much shit I had to write---my god #imma go watch my history stuff now #k thx~#long post for ts #Anonymous

9 notes · View notes