#ok time for me to stop procrastinating on hw

[i-eat-deodorant]

narinder may have a little death vision. as a treat.

bonus:

[drplague1961]

author note or wtvr the fuck these are called: hey this is the first time posting my writing to tumblr, hope you enjoy lmao ok bye im gonna procrastinate on my history hw now

Childish Contract

The strange pair walked down the street toward the convenience store with different goals in mind. Rosee needed to grab some chapstick, as her previous tube had been lost between the seats when she was applying it in a car that had abruptly jolted to a stop. Velasco just wanted a PayDay. The two children didn’t have any supervision, as the girl had slipped away into the city with her cryptic companion with her father not aware.

The masked boy pushed the door open for Rosee, and she didn’t give him a second glance as she walked inside. The bell ringed slightly as it shut and the duo perused the back shelves.

“I guess this will do for now,” Rosee noted with a slight frown on her face. She was holding a pack of Lip Smackers with disdain etched on her face. She stuffed it into the inner pocket of the cardigan she was wearing. Velasco stared at the action, tilting his head slightly yet paying no mind to it. He walked down the aisle toward the candy section and got a PayDay, slipping it underneath his shirt and sliding it by his hip. One of the girl’s eyebrows raised, but she looked amused. “Huh. You are the first boy I’ve hung out with who didn’t say anything when I do that– not to mention do it himself.”

“I only do it because I don’t have money,” Velasco mumbled, staring at his shoes. He stuffed his shaking hands into his pockets and looked up at the taller girl timidly.

“I do it because I don’t want to spend my money on something as unimportant as chapstick,” Rosee replied, studying him while tapping one of her fingers against her pale cheek. “PayDays also fall under the unimportant category.”

“What falls under the important category?” the masked boy asked curiously.

“Hermès. LV,” the girl recited.

“Oh. Okay, that makes sense.”

The pair walked out of the shop, not daring to look the underpaid cashier in the eyes. If they had been caught, he probably wouldn’t have taken the time to care. Out in the street, they took a detour down an alley. Velasco took out his PayDay, unwrapped it quickly, and raised his mask slightly to take a bite. Rosee looked at him with scrutiny yet didn’t make a comment.

“Hm… I wonder where we should go now,” she said under her breath, more to herself than the masked boy. He shrugged in response, the wrapper rustling in his hands as he ate. 

Out of nowhere, a figure appeared and bolted toward them, towering over the two. He had a strange look in his eyes, like his head wasn’t screwed on right. His face was set into a yellow-toothed grin. Velasco let out a squeak of surprise and went behind Rosee, grabbing her arm. The girl looked startled, yet quickly recomposed herself, glaring behind her at the masked boy. He retracted his hands from her body instantly.

“What do you got, little lady?” the stranger asked, leaning down to look at Rosee and crossing his arms. His breath was rancid and his stubble was several days old. She blinked rapidly before scowling.

“Nothing of interest to you,” she replied coldly, keeping her face neutral. He chuckled, a wheezy sound coming out of his mouth and throwing his head back. The hyena of a man’s gaze went from the girl to Velasco. He disregarded Rosee’s blatant dislike of touch and grabbed her elbow, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“You probably got somethin’, huh? A fin or two?” the man asked. The masked boy shook his head vigorously. He clicked his tongue before speaking again, pointing to Velasco’s face. “What’s with that mask, huh? Ain’t Halloween any time soon.”

“N-no, I don’t have anything,” the masked boy mumbled sheepishly. He cast his head downward, beak pointed toward the cracked concrete ground. “The mask’s a… a family heirloom, sir.”

“Family heirloom…” the stranger laughed, before grabbing Rosee’s shoulder. “Why don’t you come with me? I got somethin’ to show ya– somethin’ special. It’s just around the corner, if you both come with me. I promise it’ll be cool.”

“I don’t think we will–” Rosee started, before she was yanked forward by the man. Her front of confidence immediately dropped and she screamed shrilly, clawing for Velasco. The masked boy pulled on her arm, starting a tug-of-war with the man, feet sliding against the asphalt. With one large heave, the stranger’s digits released her and she fell back. Rosee now assumed position behind Velasco, who was trembling quite a bit yet shielding her with his body. “Velasco! Do something!”

The man hissed in frustration and snatched a lock of the masked boy’s hair. He yelped as he was jolted backward, and his hand instantly went to the holster attached to his belt. Velasco pulled his revolver out and pressed the muzzle into the stranger’s stomach. He fired all of the bullets rapidly– barrel spiraling– and yelled as he pushed the man to the ground, punching him repeatedly in the jaw with sharp grunts. Blood splattered all over himself, and he only stopped once his muscles ached and the man’s eyes had glossed over, quite obviously lifeless.

The masked boy stood up slowly from the now corpse, and turned around. Rosee looked surprised, yet not necessarily shaken by the gruesome end of their would-be kidnapper. Velasco stumbled toward her, tremors racking his body as he collapsed into her. Her eyes widened, yet she put her hands around him and patted his head like he was a toddler that had just gotten a scrape on the knee.

“There, there…” she murmured. The masked boy cried quietly. That was when she tightened her grip and pulled on the straps of his mask, his head tilting back slightly. She chuckled, and he inhaled sharply. “Just kidding.”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m going to tell everyone what you did.”

“N-no!” Velasco muttered. She kept him in her grasp and spoke in his pointed ear. He shifted uncomfortably, twitching. Yet, he didn’t resist.

“If you don’t do everything I say from now on, I’m going to tell everyone what you did to that man,” she replied airily. The masked boy breathed heavily. “Remember when I said I might hire you? Well… you’re useful enough. I, the mistress– you, the butler… permanently, at this point. Not to mention you’d kill for me. No boy I’ve hung out with has done that, either. You’re special.

“I’m your friend, right? Don’t you want to make me happy, Velasco?”

“...Yes, Rosee.”

“Good. Now, get rid of the body.”

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

ok you have a special interest in tma (im pretty sure) and i do not want to relisten to the whole fucking series SO can you give me liek a summary (however detailed you want) of what i need to know beofre tmp please and thank you

what gave you that impression whaaat???

ok but i love this question bc i can procrastinate on my hw without catastrophizing yippee!!

i'll do like a timeline of main events without dates bc i cannot actually remember numbers for shit

Jonathon Sims becomes Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute (im going to stop with capitals bc it is too much work) because his predecessor, gertrude robinson, died. he's extremely skeptical of anything "paranormal" so it's kinda funny in the beginning bc his whole job is recording statements people have given of their encounters/experiences. Every episode at this point ends with a, "well, it could be dismissed except for this one spooky detail."

at some point a delivery made by breakon and hope (a delivery company that shows up in statements; two guys with suspicious cockney accents) to jon. it's a table with a hole in the center (also has shown up in statements multiple times). because of its association to, like, bad things, jon takes an axe to the thing and it is left in artifacts storage.

the events of season one are basically worm lady named jane prentiss is stalking the institute in order to take it over. she traps martin blackwood, the poor sweet boy, in his apartment for a week. now he cant stand the sight or taste of canned peaches! he moves into the archives temporarily because of this. jon finds him annoying/a nuisance but is very quick to offer the archives as a place for him to stay (spoilers they kiss). sasha james, another employee, meets an entity who calls itself Michael (an icon) who takes her to see a guy from a statement where his one night stand explodes into worms bc she had an encounter with jane prentiss. he is now a worm person. michael gets a worm from sasha's arm that tried to get into her arm w his finger which is Too Long and Too Sharp. The season ends with prentiss invading the archives and being burned to death! tim stoker (another employee, promise that's mostly all of them), martin, and jon are all Traumatized and end up covered in scars from getting worms out of each other with a corkscrew :) sasha and elias bouchard (everyone's boss) attempt to get out, but sasha is separated and ends up in artifacts storage. someone else is there and then the tape cuts out (everything is being recorded on tapes because something funky happens when certain statements come in contact with digital technology). the tape goes missing.

season two is jon's Paranoia Era. he's not sure who he can really trust anymore, since if jane was out there, there must be others and they could even be his own staff (how did she get in?? what are the underground tunnels beneath the archives??). at the end of each statement there is now a "supplemental" in which he describes his suspicions (which leads to him following some of his employees to their homes and they find out and... are not very pleased) and his findings in explorations of these strange tunnels that seem to move by themselves. there is someone down there, but who could it be?

oh btw another reoccurring thing are spooky books with the name "jurgen leitner" in them

the last two statements before Shit Goes Down are both about someone who's relative changes appearance, sound, and personality, except that no one thinks that this has happened and even pictures would suggest they had always looked like that (except polaroids and tapes). jon finds sasha's "missing" tape and listens to it. and... she sounds different in this recording. uh oh!! she isn't who she says she is!! she attacks him, he ends up running around in the archives (perhaps because of michael, who has a multidimensional door that enters into a spiral of confusing hallways) and meets the man himself, jurgen leitner (who, it turns out, has been the one living in the archives). they trap the Not-Sasha in the tunnels because leitner has a book that, if he reads certain sections, can move the walls/stairs/entryways/etc. jon Obviously has questions, so they go into his office and he keeps interrupting leitner (obviously). what he is able to tell jon is basically:

he found some spooky books and decided that he could collect them all. he built a library and put his name in all the books he owned, but one day it was too much and basically the whole thing burned down, all his assistants died, and the books were yet again scattered to the winds. he explains that he believes these books, entities, and items are all part of powerful beings. he also tells jon that elias killed gertrude. jon freaks out and decides to take up smoking again in that moment, so leitner is left alone. and elias goes in there and kills him with a lead pipe. jon comes back and is like wtf. he's pinned as the murderer bc all his coworkers were suspicious of his behaviors.

so now jon is on the run. he hides in his ex-girlfriend's apartment. he decides to do field research into something gertrude seemed to be interested called The Unknowing. we also learn that he encountered a leitner book as a child which led him to witness his school bully being taken by a spider behind a door (this is an animatic of said book teehee). also that georgie (the ex) also had an encounter separate from him which resulted in her losing all ability to feel fear. jon's field research leads him to find various entities from the statements and is kinda bullied by all of them tbh. hand burned by a woman who's basically made of wax (she likes destroying people's things and fire), simulated vertigo from a guy with a lightning scar down his back, and kidnapped by a clown manequine who wants his skin (as part of the Unknowing)! oh and also almost murdered by a bloodthirsty cop (daisy tonner my beloved plus her gf basira. idr if their relationship was ever established but). he tells daisy that he wasn't the one who killed leitner and that it was elias (i think he has proof?? bc she believes him). they corner him but hes like lol no u cant kill me if you kill me you all die rip teehee!!

oh! on his adventures, he ends up in america and learns that the powers are organized into types of fears. there are fourteen of them, jon works for the Eye. jane was the corruption (rot, bugs). the circus is the stranger (fear of the other, unknown, etc).

at this point i think also the clown + her circus have gathered all the materials for this "Unknowing," (a ritual of sorts). the crew (now including daisy and basira) devise a plan to end it while also distracting elias so that he can be arrested. jon makes martin and tim stay behind (as the distraction), but tim refuses bc his brother was killed by a clown (not the same one as the kidnapper) and hes Angry. I think at this point basira and melanie (she made a statement and then got fired from her job as a ghost hunter youtuber) work at the institute also.

they enter the circus Unknowing and martin burns statements to get elias's attention. all the circus people forget who they are so it's hard to blow everything up, but they figure it out enough for tim to detonate. daisy is thrown into a coffin (also a thing that shows up in multiple statements), tim dies in the explosion, and jon is catatonic.

season four! jon wakes up six months later in the hospital and is told that he was entirely dead except for brain activity. martin is distant, elias has been arrested and replaced by peter lukas, a name that has also shown up before. he is part of the lukas family, which is aligned with the lonely (they help fund the institute). jon pulls back up to his place of work and everyone's kinda annoyed and sad bc their friends are dead. melanie is increasingly violent, most likely due to a ghost bullet in her leg from right before she was hired (this is the slaughter, which is war and senseless violence/murder). she hates jon because she is stuck working for the institute forever (you cant leave or you'll like. get increasingly more sickly or something like that). basira spends a lot of time in the institute library. jon realizes that he can Know things randomly now. he also starts needing to read statements in the way that we need food and sometimes kinda is not so great to (random) people when he's especially lacking

oh my turns out there is a word limit to these things!! whoopsie doo there is more so get ready ig

[thisisrachel]

what i learned in 2021

1. do not procrastinate on things you need to get done. it will only stress you out more. ask someone to help you accomplish the task no matter how small if that’s what you need, but either way- do it as soon as you think about it

2. it doesn’t matter where you are it’s who you’re with. i may have gotten this from Aquamarine, but it’s never been more true

3. learn to be comfortable on your own. being your own best friend and taking yourself on dates, doing things alone is such a power and i am realizing how dependent i am.

4. take good risks! my favorite teacher taught me this and i am still learning it. taking risks is so scary but so worth it

5. budget budget budget. being a grown up is damn hard

6. cherish your family. it took my grandma dying for my whole family to be in one room again and we haven’t been together in almost a year since then. but text them and call them and let them know you’re thinking of them.

7. give more hugs HHUGS ALWAYS i don’t care if your love language isn’t physical touch. hugs are the best

8. airplanes suck, air fryers don’t. they don’t have anything to do with each other yet everything to do with each other. invest in a good airplane pillow

9. prioritize your health. when you feel it slipping don’t keep that habit going. find something to change it, bc you will only feel worse down the line. you will never regret starting it asap

10. you are still beautiful even when he doesn’t like you anymore

11. get over breakups fast it doesn’t matter in the long run and you’ll be ok i PROMISE. it is the absolute worst thing and you won’t feel like you can cry any harder than you are but you will be ok

12. mcdonald’s fries im sorry

13. do stuff that scares you and get out of your comfort zone. this is so important! my teacher told us our hw every weekend was to do something we have never done before and i’ve never cherished a professor’s words more.

14. crying will NOT WIN HIM BACK. cry all you want but don’t let him know HE DOesnt CARE THAT MUCH. not to be mean because he does care for you, but crying won’t change the fact that you are broken up. stop overthinking and wondering “what if” or “if i had only been __”. that will not change the outcome. you were meant to break up or not be together at this time.

15. appreciate where you are when you’re there. you won’t know how much you’ll miss it until you’re gone. it’s such a beautiful life.

16. donate plasma- you’ll get invite to married couples’ poker nights and get $1000

17. black bean crunchwrap supreme

18. keep contact with long distance friends. i’ve come to learn this as i get more and more into adulthood. you no longer just have friend in your county. you have friends all over the world and that in and of itself is amazing

19. weddings are so fun go help at all of them! cater them, serve the bride and groom and dance when no one else is, help dj, serve the cake, be the only one to catch the bride’s bouquet, and stay to help clean up at the end

20. buying a car sucks. appreciate your father

21. tinsel in your hair. that’s all you need

22. there is someone sweet everywhere you turn in life- find it!

[22introuble]

Pretty Privilege

HEWOOO STIMK, miss me? It's currently 9:25pm, October 31st, 2021, Halloween, and here I am :( I just got off work and ate. I have so much hw to do because I have to present tomorrow and ugh I'm nervy about that. Anyways, work today was easy but lowkey embarrassing :/ You know why it was easy tho? Yup, because I'm pretty. Most of the people I work with are men and they're around my age. It's been like this for a while but today especially I did not do any freaking work. Guess why? Yup, every time I would start doing something, one of the guys would take over and I would be like "are you sure" and they'd be like "yeah let me do it" kid you not this happened like 6 or 7 times and I was just like "well" said thank you and walked away to find something else to do. At first, I was like "oh they're being friendly and want to help out" but then I noticed they would only do it to me and not the other girls. So I was like "huh" because the other girls are beautiful too so maybe it's because I'm new. Or you know what, just thought of this, I also think bc I can speak Spanish and most of the girls there can't so I am always talking to them. That has been an advantage lol also they have asked me so many times if I have a bf and every time I'm like "tenia novio pero ya no" they get so shocked and are like omg I thought you had a bf and then I just laugh. When they tell me that I always make it clear that they do not have a chance bc I'm like "yeah no bf but I don't want one rn or am looking for anything" After that, they usually get the message but yeah pretty privilege is real, especially at this job lmao. Today too gurl... I spilled a freaking tub of salsa on the floor and on my shoes and made a mess. When I tell you my heart dropped bc I was so embarrassed, literally wanted to kms. Nobody saw I think thank god but then one of the guys came and he was like "don't worry, I'll clean it up" and I was like "no omg I'm so sorry, let me help" He didn't let me help and just told me to go clean myself and then someone else walked in and he made sure to let me know I was ok and nobody was going to say anything. It was so nice of them but then I was also like "ok sis stop talking about it now bc ur making it a big deal and I'm just tryna forget about it bc I wanna kms lmao" There are so many other times where random things happen too. This one time I was just standing there and my manager was like "you look so cute just standing there" and I was like "stahp it rn" Like how is he gon tell me that when I'm supposed to be working lmao. Another time, I just asked what a menu item was and one of the cooks made it for me even tho I was like "no I just wanted to know what it was, I'm not hungry" they still made it for me like how nice of him. My job is amazing, and all the people there are top tier. But yeah stimk, pretty privilege is REAL and I am experiencing it at work (being nice helps too tho lol). Ok, now ima do hw bc ugh I've been procrastinating so much. ttyl stimk <3

[theater-theatre]

ravenclaw HCs bc we’re underrated and poorly represented

ravenclaws teach their housemates so much stuff

like after 2 weeks in ravenclaw, you’d be able to cook, sew, knit, paint, dance (think jack of all trades master of none)

so. much. procrastination.

ravenclaw culture is talking about ur childhood trauma and mental illnesses with ur housemates at 3am

they prop open the door or answer the door for ppl who don’t wanna answer riddles bc they g e t i t

however ravenclaws who are In The Mood will stand outside their common room and knock on the door a ton of times so that they can answer cool riddles

so many people in ravenclaw have had mental breakdowns and done something wild with their hair

r u kidding me they definitely used electronics in the room of requirement bc theoretically anything works there, so

also ravenclaws watch broadway shows in the room of requirement and host house-wide talent shows

the gayest house, to be honest

a ton of the kids have piercings and dyed hair and tattoos

dark humor

so many late-night baking sessions, it needs to stop

they’ll go months without reading, and then consume 5 novels in one night

wack attention spans

actually really intelligent!

nerdy but not in the stereotypical way (hhhnngggg ok in the stereotypical way too)

lol they probably copy each other’s hw and cheat s o m u c h

they broke the charms that don’t let boys up the female stairs bc come on

also made a makeshift dorm room for their nonbinary housemates (nonbinary fellows from other houses can come and go too)

definitely the Fandom house

ravenclaws have AMAZING cosplay

they make fanart

probably read a ton of fanfiction

everyone thinks they’re bookish and mature

in reality they’re a ton of geeks

“the sun will eventually explode and consume all of this planet. lol we yee’d our last haw, anyone want some beans”

they know extremely random facts

also they probably write stuff, and therefore know a lot of facts about murder and death

(which they drop casually on unsuspecting classmates)

so many all nighters

ravenclaws watch the office a lot, it just Gets Them

they often stare into space like they’re staring at a camera in The Office

it’s not unusual at all to hear sobbing in the common room/dorms. probably from a character death in a book

it’s almost weird to NOT hear a ravenclaw sobbing at any given hour

“oh, that’s becky. yeah don’t mind becky, she just got to *the part* in Bridge to Terabithia”

a ton of ranting about books and tv shows and movies

they debate about how books and their movie counterparts compare to one another

ravenclaw definitely has a conspiracy theory YouTube channel

they come up with so many theories,,, it’s a bit scary

they preach equality so much

they do like others houses!! and ofc support unity throughout all houses!! but they’ve probably never stayed up all night crying with a person from a different house bc of a character death in a book.... sooo they tend to be really close to housemates

they know firsthand not to judge a house by its stereotypes

older ravenclaws adopt all of the younger ones

especially if younger ones don’t have an accepting home life,,,,, (see “the gayest house”)

they’re all extremely down to try cool new ethnic food and ethnic dances and cultural stuff

they really do love learning

but not all learning has to be standard school conventional stuff

though sometimes they’re really intrigued by the hogwarts curriculum

long conversations on the laws of physics and magic and gravity and how does it work how does it work how does it worrrkkkk

people tend to think wise = smart = good at school = posh, stuck up, know-it-all

like ??? where did i lose you???

and people tend to ignore that individuality and creativity are big ravenclaw traits

(*cough* probably bc intelligence is seen as more important and useful *cough*)

i love ravenclaw

im a very big ravenclaw

tell me if this is accurate? lol

[creepingsenseofdread]

ok I usually don't make long posts but since the semester just started this could be helpful. I've had issues with college before but have acquired some helpful habits and ways to make things easier for me along the way, and wrote everything I could think of in a list. I know there's more, but these are the basics for me. All of this stuff was absolutely not intuitive to me in the past and I had to figure it out through trial and error and reading advice online. Also worth noting that school got a lot easier for me when I went on meds that helped my focus among other things. If absolutely nothing works for you, maybe you need more help and that's ok.

- if having a hard time, do the easy stuff first, and make tasks smaller until you can do them. If you're stuck on starting your easiest assignment, do whatever is easy, like read the first paragraph, or first line, or just open your notebook. Make it so easy for yourself that it would be ridiculous if you Couldn't do it.

- in general, do the thing that's due soonest first, or do the easiest thing first. Just remember that stuff often takes longer than you think, so don't procrastinate (easier said than done I know). Sometimes when it gets hectic, all you can do to manage your work is completing one thing at a time in order of priority. Whatever is due tomorrow and that’s it.

- use a pomodoro timer, or if the distraction is so bad you can't get off your phone, use an app like Forest that'll stop you. Same with blocking sites on your computer. These honestly only work half the time for me, but if you're determined at least try it.

- have hard start and stop times for your work, this semester I’ll try to be done with my homework by 8:30 PM unless there's a major upcoming deadline. Previous semesters the stop time was 9 PM or 10 PM. work like it's your job and that includes clocking out when your day is done. Yes sometimes I get really focused and keep working later, but that isn't a good habit (read next point).

- You have to give yourself leisure time. stopping work on time and taking a break to do something fun or just relax is really important for mental health.

- listen to music with no or really minimal lyrics, like instrumental, video game soundtracks. sounds obvious but sometimes I'll listen to the same album on repeat with words being sung and then wonder why I'm not focused. My favorite artists to listen to for hw rn: Louie Zong, R23X. Favorite video game soundtracks rn: stardew valley, night in the woods. I also made a study music playlist with lots of different artists and songs that are conducive to focusing, I recommend doing that too.

- if you're really unfocused and just sitting there doing nothing and struggling, just take a break and do something else for a bit. Do a chore, play a video game, get a snack or water, go for a walk, then get back to work

- on the flip side, if you get hyper focused, remember to actually eat and drink and sit up straight and unclench your jaw

- GO TO SLEEP IF YOU NEED IT. seriously, I know it can be hard, but if you get nothing done in a day just go to sleep on time, because if you start the next day tired you're already making work more difficult for yourself.

- also be nice to yourself. like in the previous point, if you need sleep, then sleep. eat when you need to, take breaks when you need to. forgive yourself for an unproductive day and try again tomorrow. if you don’t you’re more susceptible to burning out.

[coralstudiies]

how did u exercise so often, stay fit n healthy and still do well? Sis, spill it! And how is life treating u? BETTER BE GOOD 💜

hellosss ! i think i rmb u from the purple heart heheh

well tbh its partly due to the requirements of my cca ? i was (and still am) in a sports cca, the same one in fact! training is rly rigorous as w any sport (2 times in sch, once in external venue, maybe one more if sch/team wants it) and abt 3hr per session so basically im doing vigorous exercise for many days of the week HAHAHA

secondly i try to go run if im not too tired, just 1.5mile or 2 mile depends hows my form. i try to finish it fast so i can shower, rest and do work after that. it rly helps me to focus better and also get better sleep :> so it's like im rushing my exercise but thats ok in this scenario cus honestly its just running, if i wanted to stop earlier i wld. and its not a must!

last thing ofc is to plan ur time well and try not to procrastinate. once u procrastinate GG so don't!!!! try to rly finish a task before u use ur phone or take a break, or maybe designate a specific time to use ur phone every day so that it doesnt distract u as much. i think thats abt it tbh, just try to squeeze some hw or revision in when u have a long break/free period as well. sucks but yeah at least u can chill when u reach home yay

ok and ahem how's life treating me 🤔i keep getting bamboozled by econs and math but chem and bio is literally the best shit HAHA i quite like studying them. and sadly i have to admit i find gp quite fun but idk how i'll do at it lor ... Things are speeding up and cca's starting officially (doesnt rly change things i was alr training on the same schedule as above) so im a tired little wreck but also a happy one ! bc i rly love my sch and teammates :> hope life is treating u well too

[thesixthstar]

tbh only mildly related i think im hitting a point of burnout that i really need to avoid.

I just have so many things going on and im only adding more bc i do that to distract myself so i can keep procrastinating on the irons i already have in the fire and now i have One Million and im not keeping up so like

PSA i guess about if we talk i may not be able to keep up with maintaining social stuff rn i may try to vanish off of tumblr for a while or i may not bc tumblr is an activity thats not draining emotionally speaking.

I think i need to stop trying to show up to fighter practice for a good long while, maybe legit alternate weeks of showin up to sca vs blues on tuesdays, and respond to a few messages i have on read at length but with an ending note of “oh my god life keeps happening i may vanish for a lil while”

I’m not gonna stop showing up to fnw but i may stop giving rides every week bc that lonely car ride might be a good thing for my brain 

tonight im gonna ignore like all my messages, and get my geo hw done as well as my north india rythm hw done. tomorrow after work i might call my dad bc i have to ask him to look for some paperwork but more important is to finish my ling hw with time for sleep.

ive also gotta kick my own ass into eating enough and at the right times again.

luckily my work has healthy af lunches so i dont have to pour too much energy into changing the contents of what im eating cause i dont have healthy food habits. so i’ll eat work lunch more often to force myself into eating healthy without having to make the choice of what healthy thing to eat or make the effort in preparing it. that also cuts down effort and makes me more ok with eating garbage at other times, which makes it more likely that i’ll eat enough and at the right times, and also cuts down on effort. 

ok. i didnt intend for this post to turn into a game plan but here we are. 

[noheroes-allowed]

week 3:

day 15: worked on cti and it felt nice to get work done, pm meeting. I got jittery presenting even though it was literally to five people. I wish I could not be like that, played uke for like 2 hours bc it’s finally starting to be fun and is not as frustrating depending on how hard of a song I play but so many songs are just c am f and g chords so it’s not bad, ran into Cat on my run and we did an extra lap so I had to shower really quickly and eat in like 5 min, called keith. he didn’t call early by a minute this time so I called him, ft Cat after to groan lmao 

day 16: woke up really late. I really need to stop grabbing my phone first thing after I wake up bc I end up spending like an hour in bed procrastinating getting up and working out and doing work, didn’t work on my essay like I planned and played uke for 2 hours again, started a 1000 piece puzzle with my brother instead of working on my essay, worked on cti stuff instead of working on my essay, texting :), idk how to get my 5k time down. like in the beginning I’m scared to push myself bc I don't wanna die at the end but I feel like I’m being really complacent with my pace which isn’t helping, ate dinner really late, played piano instead of working on my essay, trying to work on 4520 hw but it’s really hard fuck. this class is what I was always most worried about but now it just seems impossible. maybe I’ll work on my essay lmao

day 17: it’s so hard to get out of bed, finally finished editing the first 1/3 of my essay and mailed it today. now I just gotta write like 25 more pages hopefully in the next week before everything picks up again oof, filled out the census, emailed my recruiter and hopefully my background check is ok, cannot find the motivation to do 4520, I wanna watch little america but also am really not finding enjoyment from entertainment forms recently. idk maybe it’ll get me out of my slump, my internship is officially not cancelled and it’s gonna be virtual!!! I’m just excited I don’t have to be applying for things again, jaja texted me about 4660 again and I still haven’t started it, ended up watching 4 eps of little america and I really liked the first two eps, also after my run I watched half an ep of married at first sight lmao. the people were so toxic

day 18: I need to get out of bed sooner, wrote 4 pages of my econ essay and wrote down notes for the next two writers. I’m finally making progress but I’m also so stupid. I should’ve started doing this literally last week and now I’m stressed bc I haven’t started 4520 and I idiotically deleted 4660 from my google calendar and didn’t realize the pset is due in a week. so I haven’t started that either, had a dream this morning that my offer got rescinded al;sdkfnasldka it was fucking scary but I woke up to an email saying everything is going the way it should be, haven’t played uke in 2 days bc I’ve been actually doing work and it makes me sad, worked on refactored for the past two hours jesus fuck. IBM emails really suck bc there is no uniform format and it makes me hate everything. keith save me, my mom is annoying me. I need to like schedule hours in my day where I can handle talking to her and tell her not to bother me unless it’s that time bc I literally have so much work I need to do. stop disturbing me and opening my door whenever you want. also she thinks my fucking neighbors will call the cops if I talk to someone and they see? what the actual fuck??????? my brain is melting again, keep eating way too much after my run. I need to figure out when I eat dinner bc if I eat before then I get side stitches but I can’t keep going on like this and reversing my workout progress, also I watched an ep of some food truck show on food network. it was fine I guess

day 19: yeah I got out of bed really late again and I couldn’t fit in my workout before noon, eagle day, everyone else interning in my department is a non-undergrad and I was surprised. also the guy was like you probably talked to two or three people when you were applying. which I did not. which just makes me feel like they think I’m someone else. like they gave the wrong person an offer. yikes, only finished 1.5 writers today instead of 3 like I intended bc I ended up playing uke after showering instead of finishing the rest of it, ft Cat and we talked about books and movies and hayden lmao

day 20: finished the mercantilists portion of my essay, idk today is mon and it’s been two days since sat and I literally do not remember what I did? fuck, got woken up by my neighbors lawnmowers at 9am but I refused to get out of bed until noon oops, wasn’t gonna run bc I started getting a weird cramp in my calf but then my call got rescheduled so I went running and it got worse sigh, watched portrait of a lady on fire. I liked it, watched the chinese ep of little america, watched little fires everywhere. the main character does not hide her disgust for other people and tbh that makes me really uncomfortable. and I know she has a haunted past and I won’t fully understand the intricacies of the race dynamics but I have difficulties sympathizing with her. also I don’t know if it’s residual hate from scandal or residual love for reese but I feel like I’m very biased watching this show, texted the crosbys bc they said they would answer everyone but then they said they couldn’t get to all of them bc they underestimated :( 

day 21: I literally took the day off lmao. I was gonna work on 4520 all day bc I’ve literally been procrastinating this assignment for the past like 14 days bc I know it’s gonna take some time and some brain energy but I just. kept putting it off and doing other work or not doing work at all. and then I literally just took the day off. and watched little fires everywhere and called and ft and took a walk to the reservoir. if he’s really a pat fitz then that freaks me out. he scares me more now and he’s out of my league so much socially :( I wonder how many people he talks to. I wonder if he says yes to our calls bc he’s ‘too nice’ to say no the way that he’s too nice to say no to girls who would ask him to go to dances and he got the reputation that he’d never say no, chatted with my mom about the state of things and groceries and tried to not get annoyed or lose my patience. taking a break from work made me calm down a little and be less agitated I think, hung out with my brother and watched cut videos with him

[cafegogh]

Do you have any advice on balancing ap classes,sports,and mental illness?

hello anon…well I’m in the exact position as you are! I really struggled with balancing my workload last year and got a therapist because of it. here are some tips I’ve learned so far from my therapist and also my own experience:

get a planner

any type, size, color will work but make sure you have enough space to write out all of your hw and activity plans. keep it updated, noting days when you have a lot of activities and days when you can take a break. check off/cross out all the tasks you’ve accomplished. this can help you organize all the assignments & practices & test & games without having dates and times flying through your brain.

set goals for yourself

balancing school and sports while keeping sane is a true mind game. what helps me is setting small goals and or achievements that I want to do each day. last year, after swim practice, I would layout all my assignments that were due the next day and work through them for 1 hour and 15 minutes. then I would stop, take a break, and reward myself by eating a snack/listing to my favorite song/going outside/etc.

don’t procrastinate

I know it’s really easy to jump into bed the minute after practice or slump on the couch after a long day at school…you for sure need to take time to relax/decompress but be also get your work done!!! turn off your phone, work at a desk, set timers so you don’t overwork//take too long of breaks, and check things off in your planner to remain focused & productive all day. 

maintain a healthy mindset

keeping your mind clear of negative influences can truly improve your mood/focus/productivity. try logging off social media or stepping away from people who are constantly complaining. meet new people, find a new hobby, do something that relaxes you and doesn’t add onto your stress load. smile a bunch. laugh whenever possible. more on this here.

other helpful things:

for seniors

helpful school year tips

if you’re starting at a new school look here

ok love! best of luck!!  ❤️

~mod natalie 

[teenage-angst-with-a-smile-blog]

How To Survive Ap Summer Hw

ok, im gonna be honest with you. This is my first year of Ap, but my friend who has been taking ap classes asked how Im able to survive doing it for so long, and I told her, and she said it really helped her! So here are a few of my tips (please add yours!)

1. Hype yourself up. Nothing is worse then actually getting started. The main way I get myself started is tell myself, “ok. We can either do hw or (insert something worse).” You have to have the self control to limit yourself to these two things!

2. Notice and eliminate distractions. Sometimes, listening to music helps me focus! But other times I get distracted by it and start singing along or looking up the “just one” animatic. That is when you need to turn off your music!! Dont just assume since youre used to working with music, it will always help you. Another way of getting rid of distractions is solving whatever is bothering you. If you really really really wanna plot out that one book you want to write, then do it (again, self control. dont let this lead to a whole list of things to do)! You could also turn this into a goal

3. Set goals! Say you will work on only one chapter today, but once you reach the goal, dont be afraid to continue!

4. BREAKS. This is so important! Set breaks! I have a break every hour. In that break, I do some yoga (stretching will really help your body feel more refreshed after sitting and working!) and a few exercises. (i can share my routine if you need some ideas) Make sure to use the restroom, and grab a drink! Idc if youre not thirsty, your brain needs water to keep going! Also, if youre hungry, grab a snack! Some basic self care!!

5. Realize when to stop! Ap hw is very stressful, so dont force yourself to work ALL day, and DONT work late at night! Despite what you may think, you cant stat up til 2 every night, even if its hw.

6. You Days. You need a you day once a week, where you dont worry about hw. it can be scheduled or whenever you feel like you need it. But dont have too many - procrastination will limit your you days !

I hope this helps at least one person! 💖

[dcarhcarts]

alphabet tag game

tagged by : @introvertedtm​ <3 <3 love you boo

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

a - age: only 19 but my mind is older !

b - birthplace: undisclosed potato field somewhere in the USA

c - current time: 5:05 pm

d - drink you had last: hot cocoa

e - easiest person to talk to: my best friend, my dearest, Angelica (WHO’S IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY RIGHT NOW I’M SO SAD)

f - favorite song:  carry on by fun.

g - grossest memory: uhhhh ok so I lived in an asian country for 7 years and that’s like....prime climate for cockroaches, so ppl would put like...cockroach poison on the street? once i was passing through an alley behind a book shop and it was full of half dead poisoned cockroaches jumping around and flying randomly bc like......cockroach neurotoxin made them go a lil crazy I guess??? I think i screamed and ran and there was just cockroaches E V E R Y W H E R E and never again fjsda;ljfl;adsf

h - horror / yes or no?: hahahahahahahaHAHAHA NOPE MY DUDE BIRDBOX SCARED ME AND WE NEVER EVEN SAW THE DAMN MONSTER

i - in love?: in love? maybe not. but i had a really strong crush and sometimes think i’m still not over it a little bit but i found out he was dating this girl we both knew a while back. so uh. you know that’s that i guess oops.

j - jealous of people?: not usually. as an Anxious Smol I get insecure and I have been jealous before but like.....at this point in my life i usually know when my brain is lying to me and also like.....gotta let go of that jealousy to live my own best life so

k - killed someone: uh. no. i have questions and the question is does anyone expect anyone to answer yes on this question???? 

l - love at first sight or should i walk past again?: i’m not really sure myself. maybe you just gotta walk past a couple times?

m - middle name: haha rosie :)  it’s where I get my tumblr handle

n - number of siblings: zero. zip. nada. only child~

o - one wish: everyone to be safe and happy and well fed and warm

p - person i called last: my dad

r - reason to smile: friends, books, musical soundtracks, any time they release anything with good audio quality of a swing/understudy in the role, that feeling when you watch something you made rise in the oven, painting, watching your breath condense in the air on a cold day, hugs, stupid youtube videos

s - song you last sang: I FEEEEL LIKE PUTTING MY ARMS ‘ROUND MY KNEES AND SQUEEZING TIIIGHT AS POSSIBLEY AND FLYIIIIIING AWAYYYYYYYYY (no one else, great comet)

t - time you woke up: 6:46 am I think???? 

u - underwear color: fjdksal;jfkd;lafkd tmiiiiiiii but white

v - vacation: went to france with choir once and went to the opera house in Paris. They really have a box 5, and there’s a lil plaque on the door to the box that says “loge du fantome de l’opera” and it’s super heckin c o o l

w - worst habit: fixating. probably an extension of anxiety but every time something bugs me it Bugs me and i can’t stop thinking about it for five years. oh also procrastination. i should be doing my hw or at least drafts but i n s t e a d. oh also a bit of a hypochondriac but shhhh

x - x-rays: y u p last time it was a chest x-ray bc i have Mysterious Chronic Cough that we all hope isn’t secretly consumption (see previously mentioned hypochondriac-ness. evidently it runs in the family)

y - your favorite food: probably dumplings lolol yeah catch me being asian af

z - zodiac sign: Libra~~ ya girl’s an October baby

tagging: you !! 

[tintoki]

april 9th, 2017, early morning. 1:28am -- start

sitting in this room, listening to IU’s ‘through the night’ while being surrounded by a firefly-light type glow.

this is my favorite part about the weekends. late night, single room, comfortable bed with lots of pillows and stuffed animals, calm music, and this… glow. it warms my heart. my laptop battery is 5%; i’m too comfortable to move and get the charger. it’s almost 1:30, but i still want to sing to this song; i still open my mouth to sing as quietly as i can, even though I want to sing as loudly as my heart yearns. i’m afraid someone might hear me.

i think about today. i was supposed to start doing my readings that i procrastinated on for the whole day, but i’m still procrastinating by deciding to write this. i think it’s healthy to do this, so i will. health comes first.

anyway, i think about today. i’m not sure what i feel. sad? no, more like– down?? i feel like i’ve been running nonstop since forever. mentally drained. i feel like spring break was all just a dream; the things that happened a week ago don’t feel real. being back in this room, in this place, with the setting looking the exact same way it did 2-3 weeks ago on a weekend is so…. suffocating, really.

it’s really…. suffocating.

I feel like I’ll cry. I miss…. home? I miss….. my family?

But sometimes, I don’t miss my family. I miss the idea, the endless recall of my thoughts, of my family being a family.

At this point, i’m tearing up. we. are. broken. (?)

I miss the stars from back home, too. I can’t see them here, its too hard to see them. only the moon is on my side these days.

Ah~ ahh– 0%.

I hum the song as I tear. Bring me back….

why is nobody ever here when i need someone. no– rather, how come i can’t bring myself the courage to ask someone for help?

–but it’s okay. it’s always been like that. tomorrow morning when i wake up, ill probably feel shitty at first, but then it’ll feel like nothing ever happened all over again.

at least it’s not as bad as it used to be anymore. not recently, at least. not in the past 4 months.

i think it’s normal – for people our age to be like this, but i also think a lot of people realized it pretty late; there are others like me who realized it too early. 

anyway, I woke up today at a good time. 10am. I watched disney cartoons and ate pizza in bed with my hair up in a small bun. later, I got ready for volunteering, 1-5pm. I tried my best with the kids again. learned a few things. I met and made some new friends today, but also said goodbye to a few others. today was just a constant reminder that things never really stay the same and are constantly changing.

I already know this. i’ve known it since 6th grade. I know, I know. you don’t have to remind me. I can take it – I can accept it now. Don’t worry.

I stopped tearing up awhile back. I’m fine again.

it’s 2:06am now. I changed the song to the acoustic ver. of Monsta X’s ‘beautiful.’

we left volunteering kind of late. I guess we were having too much fun. I was saying good bye. I looked back, then looked forward.

we went to walmart afterwards, xD. we had fun laughing about bts and summer memories. i got dropped off at home. i didn’t see anyone in the house, so i ate while watching my cartoons again. i hummed as i cleaned the kitchen. I went to my room to rest on my bed. after an hour or two, I called home. I facetimed nikki, isabel, and my old man. mama cut her hair, it looks cute on her. she smiled, and I wanted to cry.

o fck, not again…………………………….

I was as kind as I could be; I missed them, even though it’s only been a week. I missed them, even if they didn’t miss me. I told them I wanted to be home. I wanted to help them out with the chores and stuff. I just wanted to be with them again.

do I have to endure 3 months of this again?

sometimes I wonder, why did I pick such a far away school, man. I don’t regret it, but sometimes I just wonder, how could I have made this experience feel less painful over the years?

I always get a little jealous whenever my roommates’ families come over to give them food or just to pick them up. they invite me out, but I think i’d feel worse if I came along with them.

anyway, the point is that this is not just about feeling homesick; it’s not about school this time, or something stupid. it’s about something my dad said that bothered me, because it reminded me of something i didn’t want to hear.

I had fun the past couple of days - a lot of fun, a lot of smiling, a lot of stress. but, in the end, there are things that will always haunt me, of course.

Lol, i’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and read this shit and then feel really stupid that I wrote all this again. Eh, whatever. sometimes sleep is the best solution.

hmmmmm. After I facetimed them, I went to wash my dishes and then took a shower. I think after that, I watched BTS stuff and downloaded a lot of music, my muse of health and mind.

ok. i’m hungry now (haha.). and kind of sleepy. i’m going to try reading my hw, and then before I sleep, I will read manga. I miss reading actual books though. I want to go to barnes&nobles someday just to read there, as if it were a library. I hope I can sleep in tomorrow (today).

–end: 2:48am.–

post notes:

I want it, but I don’t want it. i’m sorry.

Girls have complex brains, haha. well, at least mine is.

sometimes i wonder if i’ve changed, too. did I manage to take a step forward after having taken so many steps backward?

[chaoticraspberry]

ok so i was tagged by @andrewminyarrr and @everythingthatmatters, I am really really sorry it took me so long (you can blame my procrastination + asocial behavior) sorryyy

Rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions (yeahh...I might tag like 5)

1. coke or pepsi: neither, they're both too sweet

2. disney or dreamworks: both? i can't choose between those

3. coffee or tea: umm both (I probably like tea more but i'm a student. i NEED coffee!)

4. books or movies: books

5. windows or mac: windows!!

6. dc or marvel: marvel

7. x-box or playstation: x-box, but i don't own either

8. dragon age or mass effect: idk what these are

9. night owl or early riser: night owl 100000%

10. cards or chess: cards

11. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate!!!

12. vans or converse: converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ??what?are?those???

14. fluff or angst: fluff. definitely fluff (although a little bit of angst is always good right before the FLUFFF)

15. beach or forest: forest, I've only been on a beach twice and both times was fucking coldd. so no beaches. at least not the ones inside the arctic circle

16. dogs or cats: dogs, but i like cats too

17. clear skies or rain: clear skies

18. cooking or eating out: well i'm generally very lazy so i'd say eating out but i'm almost always broke so... i have no idea

19. spicy food or mild food: mild

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: christmas

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too hot (but only bc right now i'm a little too cold so

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: time manipulation or teleportation

23. animation or live action: live action

24. paragon or renegade: i'm not sure i understand this but... renegade?

25. baths or showers: showers, best for thinking

26. team cap or team ironman: team cap (bucky! yay!!)

27. fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy

28. do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: can't think of any rn but all the quotes from aftg are my favourite so you can randomly choose from there and you have 100% chance that you’ll choose my favourite ones ;)

29. youtube or netflix: youtube

30. harry potter or percy jackson: hp but i loved the pj books as a child

31. when you feel accomplished: when i finally stop procrastinating and do my hw

32. star wars or star trek: neither (sorry, i know okay)

33. paperback books or hardback books: paperbacks

34. to live in a world without literature or without music?: no! just no!!

35. who was the last person to make you laugh? my dad i think

36. which is better: sour or sweet candy? sweet :p

37. do you believe in aliens? yes

38. dawn or dusk? dawn, it's always so serene

39. piercings or tattoos? tattoos

40. girls? HOT????? yes :D

41: snow or fog? snow

my question: do you sleep facing the wall or the room?

I'm tagging: @minyard03andrew, @annawrites, @enotrobin, @exysexual, @neilskey, @evil-diabolical-oops (only if you want) + anyone who wants to do it

[mellifxuous]

THIS IS GROSS BUT I JST WANNA REMEMBER IT AHH. Okay the cutest thing happened when i was FTing jon a couple nights ago omg. So i was looking at my computer bc i was editing my vid and i was holding my phone like to the side of my computer so he could still see me. And he was like making a bday present for a friend and i saw in my peripheral that he stopped and was looking at me so i looked back at him and did that thing where u just breathe through your nose and smile w a closed mouth. Like when ur on your phone and see something funny so instead of actually laughing u just breathe heavier through ur nose and smile,, yeah it was that, and when i did it he did the same thing and then looked away and smiled bigger and idk but i just thought it was rlly cute. and when we ended the call he said shoots bc i guess thats how u say bye in Hawaii and i went ‘shoots, thats a new one’ and he like smiled and shook his head and looked down bc we were talking about his slang earlier and making jokes about it, so he went 'god, i mean, goodnight’ and smiled again so i laughed and said goodnight back and it was rlly cute.

Hhh idk jon can be a real headass sometimes but i guess at the end of the day he comes thru. Like yesterday i purposely didnt sc or text him first just to see if he wanted to talk to me and at like 2 am he sc me and went 'what am i doing with my life’ and it was a pic of him procrastinating hw with the time filter on so i sent a pic of me editing my video w the time filter on and went 'same’. And it was like 2:43 here at the time so it was rlly late. And i put my phone down and and like 30 seconds later i got 3 snapchats from jon which was wild bc he NEVER responds immediately and he NEVER sends so many snaps at once, especially since i only gave him a one word answer. And so i opened it and they said

'ok no nadya go to sleep’ 'You need sleep’ 'But how were your tests?’ And then i went

“'You need sleep’ but continues to talk to me” “its cool i can stay up for a couple more hours” “and im p sure i passed all my tests”

And he responded with

'Oooh good job’

AND THEN. BICYCH I WAS SO SHOOK OMFG AND THEN HE WENT

'And yeah youre just too irresistible’

AND I CHOKED. HE SAID SOMETHING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF LIKE 'and yeah youre just too irresistible for me to not talk to’ BUT I DONT REMEMBER EXACTLY BC J JST SAW YOURE TOO IRRESISTIBLE AND CHOKED. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. I GET SUCH MIXED SIGNALS FRM HIM IM SO CONFUSED LIKE SOMETIMES WE’LL HARDLY TALK OR IT SEEEMS LIKE WE’RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS AND THEN SOMETIMES HE SAYS THINGS LIKE THT AND IM LIKE WHTWHWTWTWTA HHH JON PLS.