#okay i woke up bc she was gagging right next to my head and i shoved her off my bed half asleep bc i didnt want her to puke on my hair

[lilamala]

started the day off right by rolling over at 7 am and planting my ass right in a puddle of cat puke

[cowboybarzy]

unexpected part 3 — mat barzal

tbh I didn’t realize how popular this was with you guys which is why I didn’t hurry to write this next part. but if y’all really love it and give me your thoughts (& even ideas on how to continue) I’m definitely willing to write more!!

word count: 4k

I’m just gonna make this part of my summer series bc they did travel and it gives me an excuse (to literally my brain lol) to post this part now! an insta edit will follow shortly! come along the rest of the trip

📍vancouver, canada with mat barzal this is part of the unexpected series, so if you want to see how we got to this point, read PART ONE and TWO

June

"Sshh, sshh. It's okay, it's okay." Mat's soft voice woke you from a short, but deep sleep. You turned as your eyes fluttered open to see him sat up against the headboard soothing your baby girl. "I'm here. You're okay."

Your hand reached up to cradle her tiny head. "She might be hungry. What time is it?"

"Almost four. It hasn't been that long since you last fed her. But look, she's already falling back asleep." His smile grew and you sat up as well to see her eyes slowly closing. "She's so cute."

"She is." You kissed her head and then leaned against Mat's shoulder. "And so big. One month already."

"It went by so fast. I don't want her to grow up."

The last month since you baby girl, Myla, was born was the most stressful and tiring but also the most beautiful and exciting time. The new sleeping schedule was difficult to adjust to and your recovery was harder than expected. People really should talk about it more. But getting to experience both you and Mat become parents and your baby explore the world was indescribable. She already outgrew her newborn sized clothes and loved being awake looking around the room. She loved sleeping in her stroller while you took her on walks, where you and Mat stopped to get ice cream or coffee. Both of your families had come to visit, too, and of course all of your friends. They loved her and you were so grateful for the amazing support system.

Mat's season had ended a couple of days after Myla's birth, but not after his birthday which you unfortunately had to spend apart. But he was home now and took such good care of the both of you. Although the three of you did spend a lot of time in bed, you made it a goal to go outside for walks at least a few times a week. Your family didn't live far so they were able to visit and you even went to visit them a few times when you felt brave enough to leave the house.

"Oh, my god!" Mats voice brought you back to consciousness. You hadn't realized you were falling back asleep on his shoulder until his voice brought you back.

"What?"

"She pooped. Did you not hear that? That was gr– Oh! Ew! Babe, it's leaking out." He started panicking, then gagged as he held her away from his body. "What do I do? What do I do?"

You laughed, falling back into the pillows as you watched him struggle for what his next move should be. "Babe! This is so gross! Help me!"

"Well, go change her!" You watched him, still laughing, as he carried her with extended arms, trying not to gag again. "It doesn't even smell. There's only one baby in this room and it's not her."

He started undressing her, groaning from the mess she had made. "Oh my god, it's everywhere. How? How is her stomach so big to hold that much?"

You got up to see for yourself, making sure beforehand to take a video of Mat trying to handle this situation. "Yeah, we should give her a bath. That is pretty bad."

"It's the middle of the night!"

"So? She's dirty." You laughed patting him on the shoulder. "Welcome to parenthood."

At one month old, babies couldn't laugh yet, but the noises she made could definitely count as it. So you prepped her bathtub. She was small enough to do it in the sink, so it didn't take long to fill the tub with the right temperature water. When Mat put her in, she started screaming. She hated baths for the most part, but unfortunately she had to get through it. She calmed down after a while, enjoying the little massage you were giving her to get her clean. Mat put his arm around you and kissed the top of your head.

"You know, a year ago I definitely would not have imagined us doing this at 4 a.m., but I wouldn't change it for the world."

July

"Ugh, she's so cute."

"So adorable."

"Her little nose. And those cheeks."

"I love her so much," you said, not being able to look up from where your daughter was sleeping in her stroller. You stood around her with Mat's sister and mother, just staring at her. You were supposed to go on a walk to go get lunch, but for some reason (a very cute and sleeping reason) you still hadn't left yet.

"Me, too. Watch out I might steel her," Liana said jokingly. She hugged you tightly. "Thank you for making me an auntie. I thought I'd have to wait for years."

"You almost had to." You didn't want to call your daughter an accident, because she truly was a blessing, but let's not pretend you were trying to become parents. You both tried to contain your laughs, as their mother was right there.

"Okay, let's go," Nadia broke you two up and took ahold of the stroller, before walked out of the house. You followed her, Liana fighting her mother for the right to push the stroller.

A couple days ago, Mat, Myla, and you made it up to Vancouver to spend a few weeks with his family. Myla just turned two months a few days ago and you finally felt comfortable enough to fly with her. A lot of family and friends came over to see her, but things had finally calmed down a bit.

"So, any wedding plans?," Liana asked, after you had made it to the restaurant and the food arrived.

You raised your eyebrows, a small laugh escaping. "How long have you been waiting to ask me that?" She laughed. "Since last time!" And that was about a year ago when you had told her you were pregnant. Mat shut her down immediately, saying you'd wait until after she was born. "Well...?"

"I don't know," you answered. "We haven't really thought about it."

"Oh, come on. You need to get married! For her and for me!" You laughed and her mother elbowed her. "What? I know it's selfish, but please! It would be the most beautiful wedding, I just know it."

She started gushing about her dream wedding for you, detailing everything from flowers to venue to table cloths. Her mother chimed in, equally as excited about the idea. Normally you would have been too, but for some reason the idea of a big wedding didn't seem exciting to you anymore.

And that's what you told Mat later that night when you were ready to go to sleep while feeding Myla. "Your sister, well and mom, are already making wedding plans, just so you know."

He rolled his eyes. "How many times have I told them it's none of their business?"

Myla was done eating, so you handed her over to Mat so he could burp her. "It's fine. It was kind of fun to talk about and see everything we could come up with. But funnily enough, all my life I've dreamed of a big wedding like that, even just a few months ago I would have agreed to it. But now, I don't know, I don't really want that anymore."

"Really?" You looked up at his green eyes.

"Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather have a small thing, with just family and our closest friends. And baby Myla of course."

"That sounds good to me." He leaned to kiss your forehead with a smile and cradled your baby's head.

"Wanna get married? Might as well, we already have a kid." You said it with a laughing tone, expecting him to laugh as well or brush the topic off like you had done since he first asked you about getting married. But he didn't. He jumped out of bed, put Myla in her bassinet, and left the room.

You sat there, shocked. You didn't expect that reaction as well. You were serious about getting married. A couple weeks after Myla had been born you realized that you were being silly before. Of course you wanted to marry him and you knew that he loved you and didn't stay with your just before the baby.

Thankfully, before you could process what just happened, Mat came back and sat back down next to you. "I'm the one that gets to ask that question!," he said, which is when you noticed the little red box in his hand. You mouth opened in shock. Now that, you definitely also didn't expect. "What? You really think I didn't got out and get you a ring after you said no the first time? Please, you can't get rid of me."

"Mat..." He smiled, cupping your cheeks with his big hands before kissing you softly.

"Baby? Do you want to marry me? I don't care about the big wedding anymore either. We literally could go down to city hall tomorrow and do it there. I don't care. I just want you and baby Myla. Now will you please do me the honor of not rejecting me for the millionth time and finally saying yes to being my wife?"

"You are such a jerk," you said as the tears rolled down your face. You were still pretty hormonal and you had a feeling it wouldn't go away. "But yes, I'll marry you."

"Finally." He pressed his lips against yours for a deep kiss that had you falling back against the mattress. But you couldn't fully enjoy the moment for very long, before baby Myla made herself known. You got her out and held her in your arms, soothing her, while Mat held you close to his body pressing tiny kissed against your head.

"Ok, let me see the ring," you whispered when your baby girl calmed and started drifting into sleep. Mat opened the box with a chuckle, as your moth fell open.

"Like it?" You nodded and held your hand out for him to slip the ring on. While it didn't fit as well as it would have pre-pregnancy, at least you were assured that it wouldn't randomly fall off. "Kind is weird that we're doing this at my parents house, but I'll take what I can get. It's your fault though."

"Wha- Why?"

"I was scared as hell to propose to you again. I didn't want to be rejected again."

"Mat, I didn't reject you. I just– I didn't want to get married while pregnant." He cupped your face again with a chuckle.

"I know, I know. I'm just joking." He kissed you over and over again, until you realized that Myla was asleep and you could put her back in her bed.

Mat pulled you on his chest as you both laid down. "Wait, were you kidding about city hall tomorrow?," you asked, keeping your voice low.

"Not really. You wanna do it?" You looked up at him and shrugged.

"Kind of." You both smiled wide. "But wait, no. My family. I want them there."

"Okay, well we could ask them to come here? Or would you rather wait and do it back in New York?"

"Here is good." You fell in love with Vancouver the minute you got out of the airport the first time you came, so getting married here was not an issue for you. "Yeah, I'll just ask my family and some friends if and when they'd be available to come up."

"Okay. We can just invite people and whoever can make it, can make it. If not, then we can always have another little something in New York." You nodded, excitement filling your body.

"But if we're inviting a bunch of people, we can't do it at city hall."

"There's lots of parks and venues around here."

"Or your parents back yard?" You both thought about it for a second, then Mat smiled.

"Yeah, i think they'd be cool with that."

You both giggled excitedly, then he pulled you fully on top of him. "Are we seriously getting married in a few days?"

"Unless you don't want to," you responded.

"You are never ever getting rid of me."

August 2nd

It was wedding day. After a crazy busy 10 days, the day was finally here.

When you had told Mat's family the news the day after you got engaged, they were very excited. His sister screamed so loud, she scared the baby but you couldn't go soothe her since she had you trapped in a massive bear hug. She immediately started planning and listing everything you would need. Everyone was involved in making flowers arrangements, cooking and baking for the party, and getting the house ready to host a wedding.

Your family got to Vancouver a few days before the wedding, also helping greatly. Once your best friends arrived as well, it was time to shop for a dress. While there wasn't much so last minute, you found the perfect simple little dress that you absolutely fell in love with. You even found a little white dress for Myla at a baby store near by.

"Thank you so much for coming." You hugged Sydney Martin tight, then her husband.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world." She smiled and you hugged her again. She had been very supportive and your closest friend during your pregnancy. Since she'd already been through it twice, and none of your friends had experience in that department, you spent a lot of time together. You were so grateful for her and were very thankful she could make it to your wedding.

While both you and Mat felt bad about getting married so last minute and therefore not having all of your friends present, having the ceremony now did feel right to the both of you. And that was all that mattered. And even still with short notice, a lot more of your friends than you expected could make it. With Mat's family, yours and your friends, your guest count was almost up to 50. So lots of people to celebrate your love, but still more intimate than a big wedding you almost had.

You spent the morning of you wedding setting up the tables and decorating everything. Around two, guests started arriving and since you treated this as more of a party, you had time to greet most everybody before having to get ready.

"Alright, time to get dressed." Liana came walking and grabbed your hand.

"Wait." Before she had a chance to pull you away, you turned to Mat to give him a kiss. He reciprocated with a smile. "See you on the other side."

"Love you." He winked, then slapped your ass, before turning back to his friend group.

You made another pit stop to grab your daughter from her grandparents to have her with you while you got ready. Your makeup base was done so all you added was some eyeshadow and eyeliner, while your best friend did your hair. Another friend made sure to take lots of pictures and videos of your day. You fed Myla one more time before handing her back off to your mom, who was going to watch her today so you and Mat could enjoy the day without worrying about her. Then it was time to put on your dress.

"Aw, babe, you look gorgeous."

"Stun-ning!"

Your closest girlfriends friends quickly came to hug and admire you, before posing for a few more pictures.

"Okay! Go time!" Liana, who basically acted as your wedding planner, called when it turned three o'clock. She pulled you into a quick hug. "Ready?"

You nodded, already on the verge of tears when reality started hitting you. You were about to marry your best friend.

"Good, because I am so ready to have you as my sister-in-law." She kissed your cheek and then started getting everyone ready and into position. You kissed your sleeping daughter one last time, then followed everyone downstairs to the backyard, where you were holding the ceremony and party.

Through the windows, you could see the garden beautifully decorated and everybody sitting outside waiting for it to start. You could also see Mat, standing below the flower arch at the end of the aisle, with his best friend and best man Anthony standing next to him as they talked and joked around.

Your mom walked out to find her seat and as soon as Mat saw Myla sleeping in her arms, his eyes lit up. He took her from your mom, gently as to not wake her, and pressed tiny kisses to her chubby cheeks. Your eyes got watery again, watching them and knowing that the overwhelming happiness you felt right now would not go away anytime soon.

The music got a bit louder which was your cue to head outside. Your bridesmaids walked before you, down the shirt aisle you had just helped built this morning. Then you followed, slowly, scared to trip, but not too slow as you were eager to get to Mat.

Mathew. Who looked even more handsome than you though possible, standing at the end of the aisle with that wide goofy grin of his. As you got closer though, you could see his eyes sparkling with tears.

"You look beautiful," he mouthed and stretched his hand out for you to take. You took it, immediately feeling calmer. You looked over to where Myla was sleeping in her carrier and with a reassuring nod from your mom that she was alright, you turned your full attention back to Mat.

And Anthony who in addition to being best man was also officiating your wedding. Over the past few years that you've known Beau, he also became one of your closest friends and you couldn't be happier to have him as Mylas goddaughter and now here to marry your number one best friend.

For the entirety of the ceremony, you felt like you were in a bubble. Only Mat and you. Holding hands. "When I look at the time we've been together,

I always have a smile on my face. Through all the ups and downs we've been through, the one thing that has remained constant is my love for you. The love I feel for you has gone from wild and free to me enjoying the little things about you like going for a walk, seeing your face across a breakfast table, and even changing disgusting poopy diapers in the middle of the night. Love you, My," he said after a pause. You both looked at her with a laugh, still sleeping in her carrier.

"We have years ahead of us but when I look at the years that has passed my heart grows with such love for you that I ache. You are the most amazing partner and the most amazing mama to Myla. You're it and nothing is gonna keep us apart. I love you and always will."

Thankfully, before Mat even began his speech your made of honor handed you a tissue or your makeup would be ruined by now by the tears streaming down your face. 'Love you,' you whispered as you held your hand to his cheek. He smiled, with a quivering lip, and whispered it back. He took your hand and slipped diamond covered ring on your finger. Then you cleared your throat a couple of times and prepared to speak.

"Maty, you're my best friend. Ever since you flashed me that goofy grin of yours, I was gone for you. And I am so lucky you chose me to be on your team. And I promise you that I will choose you as my teammate. I choose you again and again. At the start and finish of every single day, no matter the season no matter the year. I choose you to struggle and succeed with, to fight and make up with, to love and grow old with.

And while I may have to send you to the sin bin sometimes, just know that I'll always be on your side and you can always count on me.

Seeing you grow and become the best father to our newest team member has been the biggest blessing. I am so proud you of. I hope I can make you just as proud. I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

With shaking hands, it was your turn to slip a ring on Mat's finger. You didn't hear another word until Beau said those magic words: 'you may now kiss your bride'. And he did. Those big hands grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you into him until your lips met. He started out softly, but soon enough he was breathlessly while your friends and family clapped and cheered in the background.

********

You were married. An indescribable feeling floated through you all day, every since you walked down the aisle. Your ring glistened in the Vancouver sun that was starting to set as you chatted with your friends. You friend circle had shrunk every since you found out you were pregnant, a lot of your friends keeping distance and not keeping in touch as much anymore. You didn't blame them. You were still very young and a lot of them weren't ready to settle down or even be surrounded by people that weren't able to go out and get drunk every weekend. You didn't blame them because it took you a few months too to adjust to the idea of being a mother, but it made you even more grateful for the few friends that did stick around. They made you feel so special and supported during your pregnancy and even now they were already the best aunties for baby Myla.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mat walking towards you, holding Myla. That sight would never not blow you away and make you feel all warm inside. "This little lady is hungry." He held her out to you and you welcomed her with with cuddles and lots of kisses.

"Where were you?," you asked him as you got ready to feed your daughter.

"I just went to change her. I saw my mom take her in, but I wanted to do it." He answered you puzzled expression, "What? I've barely seen her today. I just wanted to spend a few minutes with her."

Your heart warmed and you leaned into his shoulder. But your moment didn't last very long as the party was already in full swing and people kept coming over to talk to you. You went back to talking to your friends as Mat got pulled away by his.

After Myla was done eating, you decided to put her down for bed and once again tracked Mat down to let him know. "Hey, I'm putting her down." He was sitting with a bunch of his teammates that were able to make it out here who all fawned over baby Myla.

"Come on! Just let me hold her," Oliver whined, stretching his arms out, but Mat slapped them away.

"Absolutely not!" Most of his teammates got to hold her when you first introduced her to them, but Wally was not one of them. He joked around too much around her and was untrustworthy around babies. Those were Mat's words, not yours. He was obviously very protective of his daughter if he wouldn't let his own teammate hold her.

"I won't drop her! Please? Oh, see! She's looking at me," Wally tried again while the rest of you laughed.

"Yeah, she's trying to tell you to shut up. It's not happening." While he was mostly serious, there were joking tones in Mat's voice. You definitely thought they were all just messing with him, so you stayed out of it.

"Hey! Daddy Barz said no, so it's a no," the other Matt (with two Ts) chimed in in his best dad voice, to which your Mat gave him nod of his head.

"That's right."

You rolled your eyes at their banter. "Alright, I'm really putting her down now." Mat stood, but leaned down to where you were holding Myla in your arms so that he could kiss her little head over and over again.

"Good night, princess. I love you." Then he straightened and put his lips on your. "And I love you, wife."

"Love you more, husband."

[ioannemos]

so. YESTERDAY.

1. woke up in time to shower before walking to church

2. here's the thing. the church i've been going to? next town over. even i cannot walk that far. so i decided to check out one of the churches in town

3. there are... several. i honestly did not expect that many

4. what the heck, i've never been to a nazarene church before, let's see what they've got going on, it's one service

5. start walking, get distracted by a sign for an art fair. the temptation is real. maybe after church i'll go check it out. i can fit in something fun before grocery shopping and picking up my medication

6. it's a thirty minute walk. i'm not even halfway there and have to turn on my data to look at the map. getting hot. this sucks

7. look up. i'm right next to a different church. according to google, this one has a female pastor. i rejected this one earlier for that reason. the 'can women be pastors' thing is not something i've really researched for myself but i have read the verses and idk, seemed pretty clear cut that the answer is no. on the other hand, i'm right on time for the service, and do i want to do this right now?

8. fk it. i'll miss more than half the service at the other church by the time i get there. if it sucks i'll hit the bricks

9. two old people are thrilled to see me. i am gifted a bulletin and a nametag

10. the sanctuary is more than half empty, most heads that are present are grey, and there is no sign of technology except for the dude up front wearing a mic. there is no apparatus for streaming online, no tvs to display lyrics, no soundbooth or even the person in charge of making the mic work. i have absolutely nothing against those things, but it's kinda nice tbh

11. the pastor is def a guy and they just moved their service from 10:45 to 10:30, so i've missed a lot of this service too. but i didn't miss the sermon, so whatever, fine, this is just my life today i guess

12. HYMNS. they do HYMNS here. i am instantly pacified that they didn't update their sign outside with the new time

13. don't get me wrong i LOVE contemporary Christian music okay, i have a playlist that's stupid long, great stuff, makes me think, makes me cry, all that

14. but HYMNS!!!!! from a HYMNAL!!!!! how i've missed them. i can hear some people harmonizing. this is the Good Shit

15. the bulletin says that after the service they're having a baptism and picnic at the lake. i'm trying to be more... social *gagging noise* so... maybe... i'll go... but only if someone invites me

16. service is over. hey who's that. i recognize her face. shit. what's her name and where the hell have i seen her

17. fk it. approach. "hey! i recognize your face but can't for the life of me remember your name or where we met 😅"

18. her name is vicki and i met her at my previous job *more gagging noises* but she only worked there once in a while. thus i don't have to feel guilty at not knowing her immediately. phew

19. she has a baby! her baby is cute, of course. coo over baby appropriately

20. while cooing over baby, someone else approaches. her name is marnie. i barely play sdv but it's enough that i don't think i'll forget her name very soon

21. marnie: are you going to the baptism?

me: i don't have a car

her: oh, i can drive you there and back if you want

guess i'm going!

22. her: do you want to stop by your house and get some shorts?

me: i don't own any shorts

her: ... your swimsuit?

me: i don't have one of those either

her: ...okay

23. she has to pick up something at her house first. she offers to lend me something lighter than jeans 🥺 i turn her down, bc i'm just. used to wearing jeans everywhere, but i appreciate the offer

24. the beach we go to is lovely. it's part of a camp that a bunch of churches in the area use. the water itself is probably freezing (the lake doesn't really warm up, a familiar refrain to someone who grew up right next to lake michigan lol) but the area is nicely shaded (it is hot in the sun)

25. the picnic food is good. i talk a little with the people at the table i sit at. it's... fine. there are a few conversations going at once, which i find distracting and unpleasant (my brain struggles with what i'm supposed to be paying attention to)

26. it's time for the baptism!

pastor, quietly: how do you guys do this here?

me, very amused: idk man, this is my first day attending this church

pastor: what, really?? okay, stick around after this, i wanna talk to you

me: okay

27. the guy getting baptized cries during his testimony, we pray for him, he gets dunked, we cheer and applaud, we pray for him again, he lets a few people take pictures and then cannonballs off the end of the pier into the lake to more cheers and applause

28. some people leave. the pastor's wife asks if i want to go kayaking. i think i've gone kayaking once? i say yes anyway. fk it, i'm already stepping out and i don't feel like killing anyone at this picnic or myself yet

29. obvs both the pastor and his wife are in high demand so it takes a while but eventually we start hauling out the kayaks

30. marnie, who works at the camp, is very conscientious that everyone has an emergency whistle and is wearing a life jacket that is appropriately sized. she also lends me and the pastor's wife hats. marnie is the best, i think

31. the water is crystal clear and the weather is about perfect. marnie suggests we head for a slightly shallower part of the lake, where there are lily pads

32. the youngest member of our party, a teenager, capsizes on the way. we all come together to tow her and her kayak to shore. the pastor's wife uses her emergency whistle to tie the swamped kayak to the guy towing it. i wrangle the teen's paddle and point out that the person who offered to tow the teen doesn't have anything for her to hold onto but that someone else does, and they switch accordingly. the extra water is dumped out on shore. the teen is checked on and encouraged. we all head back out onto the lake

33. the pastor talks to me for almost the entire trip. it's nice bc he tells me that if i don't want to answer any of his questions i can just tell him to back off, but honestly i like talking about myself 😅. i realize that the person his voice reminds me of is ted danson and it is made abundantly clear to me why he has a mic in the otherwise electronics-less church: his voice is fairly quiet and barely carries (which are separate things, fight me)

34. amongst other things i talk about mom. when do i not tell people about mom. i mention how the night she died i had the feeling that i wasn't going to see her again, so before the paramedics left with her i had a chance to say goodbye and give her a kiss. he describes this as the gift of... discernment, i think? anyway i want to talk this down a bit, bc when do i not talk down any gifts i might have, but the more i think about it the more instances come to mind. huh. i will need to think more on this

35. we see the lily pads and a few lily buds, hang around for a little bit just talking, and then head back. we arrive back at camp without incident, put up the kayaks, and go our separate ways

36. except marnie has a thing to do first, do i mind, no i don't, repeat about three times, lol. but i really don't mind, i have tomorrow off also to do what i need to, and the things she needs to do are a. all for the camp, which has kids who just arrived and b. the kind of tasks i find completely non-stressful, like refilling napkins and hand soap. i am introduced to her boss. we leave eventually, each with a plateful of brownies

37. we talk the whole way. i am once again asked questions about myself and i am once again more than happy to do so. i should probably shut up occasionally. 🙄🤐 she drops me off but not before asking for my number

38. i have neither done my grocery shopping nor picked up my medication. fk. guess i'm doing that tomorrow

39. go inside, take dog out back to play with her. one of the other dogs also wants to play. thankfully there are two balls, so i kinda just juggle between them. neither dog seems to mind

40. another roommate shows up with his new dog: the tiniest puppy 😭 so small! one and a half hands big! and i got to hold her 😍💞🥰 reminded me of my dog when we first got her 😭😭 i miss her... 😭😭😭

41. did my laundry. turned on my laptop and only made it through one of my yt rec'd videos before realizing i was falling asleep. reluctantly decided to do the right thing and just. go to bed

42. fell asleep almost instantly and finally slept well. so all i need to do is wake up early, eat no breakfast, walk to church, go to a new place, talk to people i don't know, go kayaking, play with two dogs, do a big load of laundry, and then i'll sleep well. glad to find out it's as simple as that 🙄

[butterbeerblurbs]

feeling heavy in the strongest arms (f.w.)

💌 : today, your heart felt exceptionally heavy. fred holds your heart gently in his hands, willing to keep you in his arms even if he doesn’t know why you feel that way. as long as it makes you feel a little bit better, that was all fred was willing to take.

📝 word count: 1,786 words / fred weasley x reader / 🌸 ☔️ pretty sad feels but somewhat comforting...? idek

💬: i just pictured, this could be one of the way fred could comfort y/n when she’s feeling upset and there’s no direct reasoning (also bc i see fred as someone who’s sensible to someone’s emotions, especially someone he’s infatuated with ;w;)

from the moment fred’s eyes landed on you in the great hall to start off his morning, something didn’t quite sit right. sure, you gave him the usual smile that sends the tingles down his spine and the burst of warmth gently combusts within when he’s able to spare you a kiss on your cheek as you take your spot next to him but... still, something’s not right.

“g’morning pretty lady,” fred tries the playful method and anticipates for the usual look of “fake” disgust. it doesn’t happen. instead he gets a small smile, a chuckle, even though he feels like that’s the last thing you want to be doing. 

“good morning, freddie,”

yet, fred doesn’t think it’s all that good.

he lets it slide, deciding not to bring it up in the morning when... maybe, just maybe, you didn’t sleep well? he’s hoping for that to be the case (because then it’s another excuse to take a nap together) but... no. when hermione asks if you slept well, you said you slept like a baby. you slept through angelina’s bloody snoring. that only meant you did sleep well.

if it’s not sleep then... hm... could it be-”oi, what are you doing? thinking about eating your own girlfriend for breakfast instead of what’s in front of you?”

fred turns to a mirror of himself, raising a brow with a smirk, “do you really want me to answer that, georgie?”

george gags and looks away, “merlin, you’re going to make me vomit out what i just ate,”

fred hears your voice laughing at what you’ve managed to hear between him and his twin. but when he glances back and locks eyes with you for a moment, he still doesn’t buy that everything’s alright.

//

said ginger boy is still confused as the day continues.

he’s had hours to ponder upon this and the more he observes from you, the more confused he gets. his answers doesn’t match up with the way you were acting (yes, he has been staring at you for a rather long time than doing actual work). it’s like... you were fine? but not really? fine to the eyes of the public, tip-top shape but... nothing about you gets past fred weasley.

absolutely nothing. not when he’s spent days upon months that gathered into the years of learning about you, still surprising himself how much he’s able to love you more each day.

this... this was new.

he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. he’ll continue thinking about it if it wasn’t for-”mr. weasley, maybe you’ll be able to produce something of worth if you actually did the work,” snape’s voice stiffen’s fred’s spine, and snape’s hand physically pushes the nape of his neck down to get to work.

he’ll get down to this soon enough... after potion’s, it seems.

//

surprisingly, fred manages to complete the task just in time for snape to barely let him scrape out of his classroom. fred anticipates he’ll have to rush after you as he collects his things but-”you alright, freddie?”

that voice makes him almost drop his book, missing his bag by an inch as he snaps his head towards the source of who that voice belonged to.

he gapes when you’re standing in front of him with a small smile, books to your chest and bag over your shoulder. you came to check up on him. even when it seems like the world has been unfairly cruel to you, you, still proved the world wrong with such kindness fred thinks you must be an actual angel.

“y-y/n,” he gapes, and that’s starting to-”you’re scaring me, freddie, are you alright?”

he runs his hand through his hair and stares at you, bewildered. however, he is thankful that the room is now empty as the remaining couple of students flutter out. “how?”

he hates how you look genuinely confused as your brows knit together, a pout forming whenever you felt unsure about something.

“h-how what?”

“how could you ask me that? how?” he shoves his book into his bag and leaves it on the stool, now both hands freely extending towards you to give you a gentle shake by your sides, “how can you ask me that when you’re the one not feeling okay?”

like a switch, fred watches as the facade you’ve been putting up all morning seems to crumble. he notices it starts with your breath hitching, which then slowly trails off to how your eyes appear sharp, suddenly blurry with the tell-tales of tears glassing over. fred could see himself frowning in them, and he absolutely hates the gut-wrenching feeling that swallows him whole.

even when you’re about to cry, there’s still a smile on your face.

“i-i can’t seem to hide anything from you, huh fred weasley?”

fred takes this moment to slip your books past your hands, nudging them onto the table. you allow your bag to slip from your shoulders as he tries to keep you close. and he doesn’t know if he’s doing that for your sake, or his.

“i... i feel heavy, freddie,” your voice barely makes it out to him, but it does. and each word is breaking his heart as he watches you try to explain your feelings that you weren’t completely sure of yourself. “it’s like... there’s a weight on my heart, pressing me down and i-”you lick your lips, tasting the saltiness trickling down you cheeks-”-i... feel so heavy, my heart feels so heavy,” you’re clutching onto the fabric of your robe directly above your heart, “it hurts so much, and i don’t even know why,” your voice is strained, stretched out across acres of trying to figure out why you feel like this but to no avail.

“i was feeling okay when i woke up this morning,” your lips are quivering at this point, sniffing as the tears can’t seem to stop, “why does it feel like my world has turned upside down all of a sudden?” fred knows you’re not asking him for the answer, rather, if there was a cruel higher up that was playing mind games with you, that was surely where your questions were directed to.

“i-i have everything, maybe not everything entirely but i should be happy,” you breathed in and out heavily, feeling your knees shaking, “and i am, genuinely am, but today,” fred doesn’t know since when you were out of breath, “m-my heart aches so much,”

fred flinches when you blink up to him, tears falling like your heart at the unexplainable weight that made its way without you noticing. he holds you tight, almost crushing you as he keeps you close to him like it’s the only thing he knows how to comfort you now. your hands don’t even make it around him, only going so far up to his waist to clutch onto the material of his robe hanging by his sides. he closes his eyes and gently strokes the back of your head, attempting to ease your sobs against his chest. he’ll willingly soak all of your tears, sadness, any ill feelings if he could. but knowing he can’t, if this could make you a little bit better or ease just a portion of the weight you were feeling, that’s as much as he’s grateful for.

it feels like an eternity ticked by but in reality it’s a mere ten minutes. your erratic breathing has calmed down from the nosedive of emotions you displayed that it’s starting to make you blush a little. fred only notices this when you’ve gone extremely quiet. he leans back just a little to peek at you, not only with red puffy eyes but also red cheeks.

“what’s the matter, love?” he asks softly, dipping down to get a glance at your eyes that seem too shy to meet with his now.

“i... i’m sorry, this was a lot to take in and... i just realised how much it was,” your tone was different this time. it registered to fred that... this was a tone he recognized. one of your hands remain holding to his robe, while the other reaching up to lightly punch his chest.

it may sound ridiculous but fred could hear yourself coming back. he could feel the aura around your changing.

“don’t tell me you’re sorry, y/n. you’re absolutely mad if you feel that now,” he raises a brow at you, “after all you just said? and cried? are you crazy?”

that makes you giggle - a genuine one, fred thinks - hands gingerly crawling around him to finally return the long-awaited hug.

“well... it’s... it’s not everyday you suddenly have to deal with your girlfriend bursting into tears and have no specific reason for it,” your voice is still raspy and sore from all the crying, but fred could pick out the syllables that gesture to him sonically that you were feeling better.

“i’d gladly take all of that in if it means i’m helping you overcome it,” he proudly puffs his chest out with that grin on his face but it also makes your heart swell at how much love you could feel he’s pouring just from the way he’s staring at you.

“thank you, freddie,” you lean forward to tuck yourself into his embrace, cheek against his chest. you can hear him smile as he squeezes you, then sway your bodies idly as he hums back, “don’t need to thank me, love,”

as the pair of you stay like that in silence (only for a few more minutes before you’d have to hurry along for the day), it’s like there’s an understanding that fred can’t possibly lift the weight up entirely for you. these were your emotions, after all.

but that doesn’t mean fred can’t stay with you as you get through them.

hand in hand, chest to chest.

((”promise if you want to cry, you’ll come to me? or at least, come see me after?” fred didn’t give you room to answer as he squishes your cheeks, towering over you with concerned eyes even though you're laughing, “yes, love? is that a yes? if you’re laughing like a goddess sent from above, i’ll take that as a yes!”

he was having a bit of trouble trying to push your cheeks together when you were grinning so wide, it’s making his heart do somersaults. not even the groaning of people at the common room could divert him away. (the both of you were, afterall, just mere steps away from them when you’re just by the stairs)

“yes, freddie, promise.”

“atta girl.” he winks, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he watches you go up to your room.))

[doberbutts]

n0nb1narydemon

Reminds me of the time I had this HORRIBLE shooting pain in my shoulder every time I breathed in and begged my parents to take me to the hospital because breathing was extremely painful even if the pain wasn't in my chest..... turns out I had pneumonia and there's a specific nerve that can transfer pain like that. There's so much of my parents just not believing my problems exist in my history lmfao like it's no wonder I just got right into the habit of lying to them -

-about everything, bc they assumed I was lying no matter what so why bother trying yaknow.

Ooooooo yeah.

I remember when I was 11 or so I suddenly randomly had pneumonia. Like I wasn’t sick before, I had no cold or flu or any other symptom, I woke up one morning with a relatively high fever and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. It was a weekend and one where my parents had left me in the care of my sister (who couldn’t have given less of a shit about taking care of me tbh) and I basically woke up, got an icey pop from the freezer because my throat hurt from coughing and I wanted something to cool it down, and then went back to sleep. I woke again more than 12 hours later to my mom shaking me awake because I hadn’t responded the first several times she tried to wake me. She took my temp and declared I had a pretty high fever and that I probably had the flu since I very clearly super wasn’t feeling well and let me go back to sleep.

The next day I was worse. I asked her to take me to the doctor. It was a Sunday so she told me I’d have to wait until the weekend was over because she didn’t feel it was ER appropriate. Okay fair.

But then she didn’t take me Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. And I still wasn’t better, and I was wheezing so loud at night that I was keeping everyone else up. And my fever was just climbing higher and higher and higher. So finally she took me on Friday with a lot of annoyance that they were just going to say I had the flu and give me something to reduce my fever and maybe control the cough.

I did not have the flu. I had pneumonia and one of my lungs was already basically completely filled with fluid. It took more than 6 months to feel like I could breathe again, and it was shortly after that that all the fainting in the middle of class started. I couldn’t do anything in gym for the entire rest of that school year. I couldn’t laugh or sing, and my teachers had been warned not to make me read aloud because even talking too much would send me into a hacking, gagging, coughing fit.

Fun fact: many years later when I saw a specialist because this was happening again, he asked if it had happened before. I told him about this situation and I swear if it was a cartoon this would have been one of those times where the man’s eyes pop out of his head. He also called my mother careless and neglectful not only for that particular situation, but because children do not just randomly get pneumonia without being sick first. The fact that that happened and that it got so bad so quickly meant that I very likely had some form of autoimmune disorder that was yet undiagnosed and that random pneumonia is always a sign that something else is very wrong. That she should have investigated immediately to ensure that I would get the proper treatment I needed.

It’s happened twice more since then, in my adult life, and also I get pneumonia immediately after certain vaccinations, which is why I no longer get vaccinated.

This isn’t normal. She should have known. She should have investigated. But she didn’t. So it’s left to me to figure this out.

[katahnisharma]

gone (4) | t.h.

Summary: tom is back from shooting cherry, but he’s not okay.

Warnings: this started as my entry to the lovely b’s writing challenge @worldoftom, but you guys were so amazing and wanted a second part. this is a very emotional chapter and there are mentions of anxiety, depression, and overall intense emotions so please be careful loveys ♡

A/N: hey guys it’s been a while but life has been really really difficult so i'm sorry for the wait! i'm not entirely sure if anyone still cares about this series so here’s hoping :) for this chapter i listened to light of love by florence + the machine and all good things come to an end by the og queen nelly furtado lol. also Tumblr apparently won’t let me link certain things so if you’re looking for my masterlist or playlist it’s in my bio ♡

IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!

gif by @hllands

“Hey, did I leave my notebook in the living room?” You asked, letting your tea bag soak in the mug Tom always saved for you. It was an unspoken rule, that dark blue cup with the constellations on it from his mother was yours only. You mentioned how beautiful it was once, and Tom remembered.

It went on the list with the others.

“You mean the one with the polaroid on the cover? No, it’s not in here.” Tom called back, scrolling through Netflix to find a movie for the both of you. He’d just come back from the junket for Spies in Disguise, and he immediately called his best friend over to spend the day with him.

Well, it was supposed to be more than just another day.

Because today he was going to tell you he loved you.

“Hmm, maybe I left it in my bag upstairs. I’ll get it when I’m done with the tea.” You said, setting your mug down on the counter. It looked like it needed sugar, so you rootled around for the little jar Tom kept in one of his cabinets.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go get it!” Tom said from the couch, his nerves beginning to make him jittery. He thought that while you were in the kitchen, picking a movie would help him calm down. But he couldn’t focus on any of the descriptions, and Tom could feel his heart beat faster and faster.

He needed to get up for a few minutes.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to pick the movie then?” You teased, knowing very well Tom hadn’t found a movie yet. It was a bit of a running gag, him never being able to pick a movie. You would bite your lip to stop from laughing when he eventually got frustrated and handed you the remote.

And even in his nervous state, Tom still grinned because of you.

“Yeah, yeah, like you’re any better. We’ve seen The Avengers twice!” He shot back, a smirk on his lips when he heard you scoff in the kitchen. Apart from your smile, making you jokingly annoyed was Tom’s favorite thing. He liked how cute you were when he teased you.

“Shut up and get my notebook, Tommy!” You laughed, and Tom felt his cheeks warm at the sound.

God you were so fucking perfect.

When Harrison woke up, he almost forgot where he was. But then his vision cleared and there you were, lying in the hospital bed. Harrison’s heart clenched at the sight, remembering the events of last night that landed you here with an IV in your arm. He sat up and stretched, the old wooden chair squeaking against the floor.

The sound was what made you stir, your mind waking up from the dream.

“Harrison?” You whispered, your eyes adjusting to the dim lights in the room. The hospital bed you’d fallen asleep in the night before seemed to glow next to you, but you realized it was just an IV hooked up in your arm. Harrison smiled softly, getting up and coming to stand by your side.

“Hey, you were out like a light.” He said, handing you the glass of water a nurse had brought. You gratefully brought it to your lips, feeling a little dehydrated from whatever fluids were in the IV bag. Harrison gave your free hand a squeeze before crossing to the windows, playing with the blinds to let some sun in.

“How long have you been here?” You asked, playing with the sheets mindlessly. Harrison thought about lying, telling you he’d only arrived a few minutes ago. Because he knew you’d feel bad about it, but you could always tell when he lied.

“Since last night. I stayed here, didn’t want you to be alone.” Harrison replied, and you frowned almost immediately. You felt bad enough that he’d driven you to the hospital on his day off, but knowing that he’d also spent the night sleeping in an uncomfortable, crappy chair didn’t help with the guilt.

“And before you say ‘you shouldn’t have’, just remember you would have done the same for me. So stop beating yourself up about it.” He said, going back to his chair. You winced when it made the same creaking sound, like it was about to break. Harrison noticed, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

“But this chair was really unbearable.” He chuckled, and you finally smiled again.

“Shut up, you idiot.” You giggled, chucking a pillow at Harrison right as the nurse peeked in. You felt your face burn as she smiled at the two of you, Harrison picking up the pillow sheepishly and biting back a laugh.

“Glad to see the patient is feeling better. Can I get you anything, love?” She asked kindly, picking up the now empty class beside you. You smiled at her, shaking your head. You really just wanted to be discharged so you could leave, hospitals always made you nervous. The smell of disinfectant and the general sense of uncertainty were not your favorite sense overloads.

“No, but thank you for everything. Do you know if I’ll be able to leave today?” You asked, and the nurse nodded her head.

“You should be all set to be discharged in an hour. The doctor will check in on you in thirty minutes and then you’re all free to go.” She said, taking the pillow from an embarassed Harrison. You giggled a little when she fluffed the pillow, and returned it to your bed.

“Great, thank you again!” She gave you one last smile before leaving the room, and Harrison breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank god, I’m really hungry.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For Harry, last night would probably be one of the worst and strangest of his life.

After Tom broke down and sobbed into his shirt for two hours straight, he became so frenetic that Harry was afraid he would end up accidentally hurting himself. Tom tried to pack a suitcase to go after you, but he almost slipped in the shower and was so disoriented that he ran into the bedroom wall. Then he tried to cook something on the stove for Harry, but left the fire on while he got distracted trying to find your favorite cereal. Tom wasn’t completely all there, and it was pretty obvious to Harry that he was having some sort of episode.

So once Tom was focused enough to eat the banana his brother opened for him, Harry called his mother.

“Mom, I need you to tell me the name of that anxiety medicine. The one that sometimes works as a sedative.” Harry cast a glance at Tom on the couch, watching him slowly chew the banana with glossy eyes. He had been silently crying at odd times this morning, and it was definitely making Harry nervous.

“Why? Harry, what’s happened?” Nikki immediately sounded worried, running over to the medicine cabinet. She kept the anxiety medicine mainly for Harry, who used to have pretty severe bouts himself. The episodes became few and far between, until they stopped altogether.

But now Nicki was concerned Harry was having them again.

“It’s not for me, Mum. It’s for Tom. I think he’s having some sort of breakdown, and I’m afraid he might accidentally do something stupid and hurt himself.” Harry said, looking over his shoulder to see Tom staring at the banana, almost lifelessly.

“For Tom? Harry, please tell me what’s going on.” Nikki said, clutching the bottle in her hand nervously.  

“I think Tom and Y/N might be over.” Harry said, and the words had more weight than he thought they would. Like it was finally a possible reality, one where you and Tom weren’t together anymore.

“Okay, I’m on my way.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Can you get in the car alright? Need any help?” Harrison asked, hovering over you as the two of you walked to the hospital parking lot. You rolled your eyes, smiling at his protective behavior. He’d been like this during your dischargement too, and it was sweet but definitely unnecessary.

“Haz, I told you. I’m perfectly fine, I swear. It really doesn’t hurt that much, and I can absolutely get into the car on my own.” You said, patting his shoulder reassuringly. Harrison sighed, biting his lip a little worriedly.

“Okay, okay, just making sure. I just don’t want you to aggravate the injury or anything. At least not until we get you home and set up.” He replied, and you couldn’t help it. You leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, watching Harrison’s mouth immediately drop open in shock.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“To thank you for being the world’s greatest div. I love you, idiot.” You said, laughing when Harrison slung an arm around your shoulder. He rolled his eyes at you, smiling playfully.

“You know I love you too, but you really didn’t need to give me that weirdass kiss.” Harrison chuckled, immediately ducking into the car before you decided to throw your purse at him. Scoffing, you got into the passenger seat and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! That hurt!”

“I’ll have you know my kisses are wonderful!” You giggled, clapping a hand over your mouth when Harrison started to fake cry and clutch his arm.

“If I agree, will you leave me alone?” Harrison laughed, starting the car and reversing out of the parking lot. You smiled wickedly, reaching up to ruffle his precious hair. Harrison recoiled instantly, whining at your little stunt.

“I take it back, I actually hate you.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where is he?” Nikki asked, rushing into the living room. Harry jumped up and led her to the bedroom, where Tom was curled up in a ball. Under the covers, he was crying softly and clutching what looked like a sweater. It seemed too small to be his, and Harry immediately realized it was your favorite sweater. The one Tom loved on you because it was what you were wearing when both of you met for the first time.

“Tom? Love, look at me please.” Nikki whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked over at Harry and mimed a glass of water, which he left to get from the kitchen. Once they were alone, Nikki gently pulled the covers back. Tom lay there, tears streaming down his face and the front of your sweater soaked.

“She’s gone...” Tom whimpered, trying to pull the covers back over his head. He was completely spent, the possibility that you were really gone hitting him like a train. Tom had pictured the rest of his life with you, and now nothing seemed worthwhile anymore if you weren’t there beside him.

“Y/N? Tell me what happened, Tom.” Nikki said, running a gentle hand through his hair. Tom relaxed under her touch, reminded of all the times in his childhood that he lay in bed upset. Breakups, rejections, failures, his mother had seen them all. And she'd always been there for him.

“We got into a fight...a big fight….and I threw my phone….”

“At her? Tom, how could you do that?” Nikki gasped softly, and Tom’s eyes widened. He found the strength to sit up, looking his mother right in the eyes.

“No...no! I would never hurt her! I threw it at the wall and I locked myself in the bathroom. But….when I came out….she was gone and there was b-blood on the f-floor and...I think-I think I-” Tom couldn’t get the rest of his words out, and Nikki knew enough to envelop her son in a hug.

“It’s okay...it’s okay, Tom.” She sighed, holding her eldest son close. The whole thing was confusing, but if Nikki knew anything about your relationship with Tom it was that it had been the best one he’d ever had. You were kind, intelligent, and strong, exactly what she had always wanted Tom to have in a partner. But hearing Tom cry and work himself up meant she knew what she needed to say. Tom had to stop living in his head.

“Tom? I want you to listen to me, it’ll be okay.”

“But….she’s gone and I hurt her….I can’t ever forgive myself…” Tom sobbed, but Nikki was adamant she would speak and get through to him.

“Look, the past is the past, it’s not in our hands.  You have the chance to ask for her forgiveness, and explain what you’re feeling right now. Don’t let your past actions dictate the future, love. That would be a mistake, because I know Y/N. She loves you and she wants to be there for you. She’ll understand what you’re going through because she cares, that’s what a real partner does. They want the best for you because it’s you. You need to forgive yourself so that she can help you heal.”

“But what if she doesn’t w-want me anymore? I know I scared her….I never wanted to do that b-but she’s been hurt and left because of me….I’m afraid Y/N won’t love me anymore!” Tom cried, his body shaking a little. Nikki rubbed his back and took the water glass from Harry, who’d reappeared in the room.

“Darling, you have to try. You have to fight for the love you want. You don’t think your father and I have gotten angry with each other? We fight and that’s normal, but at the end of it all we come back to each other. I put my feelings aside and listen to him, and he does the same. That’s how it works, we love each other so much that I’ll forgive him and he’ll forgive me.”

Nikki took Harry’s hand and held it, and Tom was finally still. There was no more crying, no more shaking. It was just a moment frozen in time, the three of them together in a little room. Harry hugged Tom and Nikki kissed his forehead, and for the first time in 36 hours Tom wasn’t afraid anymore. The fight wasn’t plaguing him anymore, and neither was the aftertaste of filming that had been slowly poisoning his mind. All he could see was you, like a vision before him wiping his tears away. With that same smile that he had fallen in love with so easily, because it was purely yours.

And that was enough for Tom to be at peace with himself.

“Thank you.” Tom whispered, and Nikki was able to smile again. Harry ruffled his hair, making Tom punch him softly in the arm. He reached for the water glass and the pills in Nikki’s hand, knowing that he needed to take them.

“Take these two and it’ll help a little with the anxiety. It’ll also make you a little drowsy, but it might be good to sleep it all off properly. I’ll stay here with Harry until you wake up, okay?” Nikki said, and Tom let him expend enough energy to nod and smile.

“Just...just please make sure Y/N is okay? Make sure that nothing’s wrong?” Tom said, and Nikki squeezed his right hand. Harry had his left.

“Always. Now get some real sleep, you’re going to need it...”

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“Can we please listen to something other than your terrible daily mix?” You laughed, Harrison clutching his chest to feign offence. He reluctantly handed you the aux cord and you smiled, knowing exactly what you wanted to play. Taking a couple seconds to sift through your own playlists, you found the song you were looking for and pressed play. Harrison smirked at your choice, rolling his eyes at the songs you played over and over again. He attempted to steal the aux back from you, but you dodged him quickly.

“Hey, focus mister! I’m not about to get into an accident right out of the hospital!” You said, giggling as he started to belt out the lyrics and dance. He laughed, rolling his eyes as he focused on the road again.

“I’m a great driver! I’m just trying to save myself from your shit music taste.” He said with a smirk and now it was your turn to roll your eyes. Harrison wasn’t a bad driver, but he definitely wasn’t a great one. The first time you had gotten into the car with him had been to get groceries and it was a disaster. He forgot to turn around before reversing and nearly hit a little old lady with her cart, and almost got hit merging onto the highway. After that, you were careful to look out for him even if it meant you became a backseat driver.

“Sure, Haz. Whatever you want to believe. Just please get us home in one piece!” You laughed, leaning your head back and letting the sunlight warm your face. If not for the events of the previous day, you would have basked in the glory of such a beautiful day.

But your mind turned to Tom, as it always seemed to.

“Hey, is my bag in the back?” You asked, suddenly desperate to check its contents. Harrison turned down the music, furrowing his eyebrows at your change in mood. You turned to look at him, a slight fear in your eyes. Harrison nodded, gesturing to the backseat.

“Yeah, it’s there. Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just...I just need to make sure something is in there…” You trailed off, swiveling in your seat to grab at your handbag. Harrison watched from the corner of his eye as you set it on your lap, rootling through it quickly.

“Whoa, whoa. What are you looking for?” Harrison asked, a little concerned by how frantic you seemed to be. With a sigh of relief, you feel your hands grasp what you’re looking for and you pull it out slowly. Harrison’s eyes automatically soften, seeing your eyes water with your most prized possession in your hand.

“Is that the notebook Tom bought you? The one he bought you when he found out you wanted to be a writer?”

“Y-yeah...it is. I just wanted to make sure it was still there, you know? That’s dumb, isn’t it? I mean...he probably doesn’t even want to be with me a-anymore. So...so why am I….why am I holding on like this?” You felt the dam break finally, the tears streaming down your face. Harrison bit his lip, pulling the car over and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Hey...hey...look at me.” Your tears were staining the cover, the little drops of water creating little streams on the surface. It felt like someone had pulled the rug from underneath you, and that you’d discovered there was no floor. What would you do without Tom? You loved him more than anything, but you were no fool. His anger couldn’t have come from out of the blue, it was something repressed that Tom had been feeling for a long time. Without warning, your insecurities began to mount.

Maybe he was bored of you.

Maybe you annoyed him.

Maybe he’d found someone else.

Maybe you weren’t good enough and he’d realized it.

And then the worst of them all.

Maybe the rest of the world was right.

“I’m losing him.” You whispered, and Harrison’s heart clenched at your words. He knew you were always insecure about dating Tom, but you’d never vocalized anything like this before.

“No, no you’re…”

“I’m not an idiot, Haz! I’ve seen the signs! H-he’s done with me….I’m just d-delaying the inevitable. I should have….I should have known I wasn’t good enough for him. He’s him and I’m j-just me, who the hell was I fooling? E-even the fans knew it!”

“Y/N...come on...that’s not-”

“He hasn’t wanted to spend any real time with me since he came back from Cherry. It’s like I don’t even exist to him, I’m invisible until he has to talk to me. I’ve tried five times to get him to have dinner with me and he rejected me every time, Haz. All I’ve heard for two months is ‘I’m going out with the boys, sorry’ or ‘Just going to sleep, don’t feel like eating’. And I tried to understand, I really did. It must have been so hard shooting a movie like that, it would be emotionally draining for anyone. Hell, even the book is emotionally draining-”

“I don’t think...”

“Let me finish, please? Haz, I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired, I’m so tired. I can’t fight for this relationship anymore when I’m not even sure if he wants it. He pushes me away all the time and it hurts me to see him like that. Tom isn’t happy, and I think it’s because of me. So I won’t hold him back anymore, I’ll just quietly disappear. No drama, no fighting, nothing. I can’t bear knowing I’m the reason he’s unhappy, it would kill me to think that.”

You broke again, the tears burning your eyes as you clutched the notebook tighter to your chest. It brought you a little comfort, knowing what you would have to do next. You needed to leave Tom, to let him live his life and be happy. You clearly couldn’t make him happy anymore and though that was something you’d struggled to accept in the last few hours, it was the right thing to do. You had no delusions about the way you looked, you always felt rather plain and boring compared to the beautiful women Tom was used to being around. He would be better off with someone else, someone as amazing as him.

Someone who isn’t you.

Harrison’s throat went dry as you slowly raised a hand to wipe at your tears, your eyes glossing over as you stared lifelessly out the window. He had a horrible feeling that you were serious about what you had just said, and he wasn’t sure how all this had happened. How could he have let you feel like this?

How could they not have noticed?

“Please, please don’t say-”

“Harrison, I have to. I can’t do this anymore.” You whispered, and Harrison stopped mid sentence. You never called him by his full name, it was always just Haz. He squeezed your hand as you cried, sobs wracking your body that made him cry too. You barely got the words out, but Harrison knew them before you said it.

“I have to leave because I love him.”

IF YOU’RE STILL INTERESTED IN BEING ON MY TAGLIST PLEASE FILL OUT THE NEW FORM IN MY BIO BC I WILL BE REVAMPING IT!

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Moots Tag -let me know if you want me to take you off :)- @angelic-holland @fairytaleparker @honeymoonparker @screamholland @hollandstom @calmholland @spiesindisguise @neverlandparker @nnatasha @parkerpuff @the-claire-bitch-project @angelhaz11 @farfromhaz @blushypetey @hazinhoodies @spiderrpcrker @yeahimcrying @definitely-not-black-cat​ @quackeroos @ts-holland @t-holland2080 

[half-bakedboy]

Hey Em!! How are you? Oh and Clizzy and a sick fic maybe? Bc I feel like shit and want to consume fluff atm. And I just think a sick! Izzy who is not ready to accept she's sick because Shadowhunters don't get sick! And an exasperated but very in love Clary is a lovely and kinda hilarious mix yk. Anyway ily!!! You're lovely 💕💕

“Is she gonna be okay?” Clary asked as she swiped a hand over Izzy’s damp forehead. The worry hadn’t gone away since Izzy had been hit with the venomous dart from the graeve demon, no one truly sure what it would do to her. Magnus’ magic disappeared back into his hands as he nodded. 

“The dart will give Izzy cold-like symptoms for a day or so. Nothing serious to a mundane, but shadowhunters don’t get sick,” Magnus explained as he poured a few ingredients into his cauldron and stirred. “If this one is anything like her brother, you’ve got a long 24 hours ahead of you,” he finished with a slap on his arm from Alec. Magnus laughed brightly and poured the cauldron contents into a small cup before passing the cup to Clary. 

“What’s this?” Clary asked as she sniffed. It smelled vaguely of cough syrup and the aroma had Clary gagging slightly. 

“Just a little something to help with the aches and pains when she wakes up. Have her drink a sip every 2-3 hours and she should be feeling better by tomorrow night.” Clary nodded and Magnus and Alec left Izzy’s room. She laid herself down next to Izzy and stroked her hair back, dragging the warm cloth Magnus had left across Izzy’s forehead. A few moments later, Izzy stirred awake, her teeth chattering slightly as she pulled the blankets closer to her. 

“What happened?” Izzy asked, her voice husky and Clary sighed in relief. 

“The graeve demon got you. Magnus said you’ll be okay in a day or so, but you’re probably feeling some symptoms,” Clary noted as Izzy shivered and sniffled. She couldn’t help but laugh at the red tinge to Izzy’s nose and cheeks. 

“He’s sure I’m not going to die? I feel like I’m gonna die,” Izzy said as she curled into Clary’s side. Clary nodded and chuckled softly as she ran her fingers over Izzy’s cheeks. 

“You have a cold,” Clary explained as she touched the tip of Izzy’s nose with her index finger. Izzy scrunched up her nose and tilted her head at Clary. 

“Like a mundane?” Clary nodded and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. Izzy groaned and pressed her face into Clary’s neck. Clary wrapped her arms around her and pressed another kiss to her head. 

“Sleep for now, love. When you wake up, Magnus wants you to drink from that cup every few hours, okay?” Clary whispered. Izzy nodded and the both fell into a peaceful sleep. Peaceful until Izzy woke Clary up with her coughing. Clary grumbled and tried to turn away from Izzy to continue to sleep. 

“Clary? I know you’re awake.” Izzy shook her shoulder and Clary sighed before turning back toward Izzy. She raised her eyebrows in question, not quite awake enough to talk. “It feels like I swallowed sandpaper. Is that normal?” Clary nodded slowly and closed her eyes again. She opened them when Izzy poked at her side. 

“What Isabelle?” Clary said impatiently. 

“What about my face? It’s so hot, like I’m burning from the inside out. That can’t be normal, right?” Clary reached her hand up and pressed it to Izzy’s forehead. She was a bit hot, but burning was an exaggeration. 

“It’s a fever. I know shadowhunters get fevers,” Clary commented. Izzy shook her head abruptly and pulle Clary’s hand to her chest. 

“Only when we’re dying of demon diseases, Clary. My chest is even hot!” Izzy explained. Clary groaned and turned onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. “But my feet are freezing and I keep shivering. What is that about?” Clary pulled the pillow out from underneath her head and covered her face with it. It was silent for a moment and Clary thought she might finally be able to fall back asleep. Izzy had other ideas as she blew her nose as loudly as she possibly could for that time of night. 

“If you sit up while you sleep, your nose won’t be as stuffy,” Clary recommended. She may have been annoyed, but she also didn’t like the fact that Izzy wasn’t feeling well. She remembered when Simon got his colds and he felt like it was like the end of the world. 

“Will anything stop my eyes from itching? Or my ears from ringing? What about this noise that keeps happening when I breathe?” Izzy rambled as she breathed in deeply and let out a breath, the grumble of her chest obvious to Clary. 

“Have you been sipping the potion Magnus made for you?” Clary asked pleadingly. Izzy looked away and shook her head. “Izzy…” Clary started to chastise, but Izzy glared at her before she had the chance. 

“It is disgusting, Clary! You wouldn’t drink it either if you were dying!” Izzy challenged. Clary rolled her eyes again and grabbed the cup, holding it to Izzy’s lips. 

“You’re not dying. Unless I kill you. Drink the potion and go to sleep,” Clary commanded. Izzy nodded slowly and sipped down a few gulps to appease Clary. Clary saw the relief flood through Izzy’s shoulders as she laid back on her pillow. Clary pushed herself up before pulling Izzy into a sitting position. Izzy grumbled as she looked at Clary. “I’m going to prop you up to sleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up,” Clary explained. Izzy nodded and waited for Clary to fix the pillows. Clary pushed her back and she thought that Izzy was asleep before her head hit the pillow. Clary pressed a gentle kiss to Izzy’s forehead before curling into her side. As annoyed as she was at the fact she didn’t think she was going to be able to fall back asleep, she couldn’t be too annoyed. She loved being able to take care of Izzy for once. 

Send prompts for Em’s Femslash February Free-For-All

[monohart]

clouds. (college!au)

ft. mark lee, sunny days and the brink of adolescence.

dating the campus’ radio dj was not an easy job

he was always, always busy, especially in the evenings.

he was exempted from 2/3 of his classes this semester to fit in broadcasting sessions and also to mentor the new broadcasters.

apparently they recruited a freshman, jisung. but he was a shy little bean, and mark needed to spend a lot more hours mentoring him.

which kinda meant that you would spend less time with your boyfriend

thankfully, y’all had similar classes.

there was this one class which was a capstone subject

which meant if u want to graduate u HAD to take it lol

and he aced all of the assessments in that subject so far this year

but you were just a bit competitive, so with exams coming, you planned to score a higher grade than him

which.. was an easy job, right? he spent most of his nights hosting the radio show anyway.

it both bugged and made you so extremely proud that mark was already getting proper job offers from major broadcasting channels

like when he got his first offer, he actually just finished a broadcast at around 3am, and was on the way back home

but he read the email on his phone and took a detour to your apartment

which scared the sh*t out of you

mark its almost 4am you could’ve just sent me a text??

“i don’t care i just needed to tell you this in person, oh my goodness is this even real????”

idk mark you tell me???

it was real, because he started getting offer after offer in the following week

but thankfully he didn’t pop by your place in the middle of the night again, after that first time

because you actually let him stay over that night and -

he held you in his arms as he leant against your headboard

and you just used him as a pillow because he you made him take a quick shower and he smelt of your soap but he still smelled of him and it was a comforting scent which sent you off the dreamland real quick

and he actually watched you fall asleep and made sure you were asleep before he pulled out his laptop to work on an assignment that was due the next day

when you woke up the next morning, you felt something cold and hard prod your back and you panicked for a moment before realising it was his laptop

and you heard the shower running so you knew it was mark going through his morning routine

but then you thought.... did he even sleep?

when he hopped out of the bathroom clad in same the clothes he wore the night before, he was still drying his hair with a towel

and his face was strew with exhaustion

but as soon as he saw you sitting groggily on the edge of your bed, his face lit up and he strode over to kiss the top of your head

“mark, did you even sleep?”

“nope, but i’m off again, i’ve got to hand in my assignment! i’ll see you for lunch?”

“wait what assignment?? did you need help on it?”

“nope, i got it done last night! thanks for letting me crash.”

before you could stop him, he pressed a hasty kiss on your lips before grabbing his laptop and bag and rushed out the door

and you sigh because

this was how dating mark lee, the campus dj, was like.

anyway

now, you guys were just a few days away from finishing the semester’s classes

and this was your last semester... given if you’ll pass the exams lol

so it was kinda the last few days you’d be able to spend together, on campus.

summer was coming

and the sun was so bright these days, it cleared the skies

no rain, none at all

which was not entirely Great because rainy days helped you study... and rainy days also meant more people tuned in on the campus radio

which meant

mark was kinda jobless today

which ALSO meant!!!

you could finally spend a whole day with him.

but, oh man...

when he called you around 11pm the night before, he was also checking his email and ... accidentally forgot that he had another assignment due at 8am the following morning

guess who didn’t get any sleep at all again!!!

your heart hurt seeing him work so hard

but somehow he convinced you to go to sleep first and not stay up to help him

he still got the assignment in on time because hes mark lee

so when you guys sat on the lawn in the middle of campus just like any typical college couple would on a nice sunny day, mark lay his head on your lap and used one of your textbooks to shield his eyes from the sun

and you were using his laptop to compile your notes from the semester, and also to help him tidy up his

“hey baby...?”

“hmm?”

you waited for mark to continue his sentence but he went silent

“mark, what?”

“mark-”

you lifted your textbook from his face only to find that he had fallen asleep.

his lips were slightly parted and he was snoring really quietly, and his fingers were in loose fists as they rested on his belly.

dont deny but you busted the biggest uwu didnt you

ofc like

you couldn’t possibly waste this precious photo opportunity but

your phone was just slightly out of reach rip

so when you grappled for it, mark woke up in an instant

he sat up real quick, and a tuft of his hair was sticking up messily.

“oh no, i didnt mean to-”

“so d’you wonder why we’re all clouds?”

you stared at each other with equally as confused frowns lol

like mark was actually

hella confused

but your expression literally read wtf

he didn’t really notice but instead yawned and held his arm out to you

and you move closer to him, snuggling into his side as he slowly lays the both of you down again, in a way so you could use his arm as a pillow.

the sun was really really bright so y’all lay there with your eyes squished shut

“we’re all just clouds, aren’t we?”

his serious question was met by your quiet scoff

“no, no, i’m for real. y’know how everything we do are for exams. exams this, assignments that... gpa... scores.. grades... deadlines... those kinda things. they turn us into clouds.”

“that is one extremely weird way to describe college students, mark.”

“no, baby, but... it’s accurate, isn’t it? the anxiety, stress, exhaustion... and just about everything we do turn us all into little clouds.”

“do elaborate, cause i don’t get why you’re comparing us to condensed water vapour.”

mark chuckled a little, and you roll your eyes figuratively, keeping your eyes tightly shut to shield it from the unforgiving sun.

"actually, never mind, it sounded way better in my head.”

at that point you were getting up to lie on your side

he turned his head and squinted at you as you gently placed a hand on his chest

"are you writing lyrics again?”

he hummed quietly and you shift a few inches closer to him.

“show me. i want to read those lyrics, no matter how dumb you think they are.”

“they’re not ready yet.”

“if you’re writing about anxiety, i can be your muse.”

“no way, you’re not a cloud. you’re a sunflower.”

he wrote lyrics all the time and most of the time he’d write them about you

sometimes he’d let you read them, sometimes he kept them to himself

and you’d catch him grinning idiotically over some lyric he wrote some time ago

so when he goes to sleep you would sneak a peak at it and it’s basically a love letter to first-date-you, or a diary entry of how he feels every time he sends u home from a date or from school but its so dreamy and seems unreal but you kNOW ITS REAL!!

bc u were there!!

anyway 

idk what came over you but you slung an arm around his torso and rested your head against his shoulder and he let out a quiet little puff of breath

you would think he’s pretty ok with skinship since y’all been together for so long

but yeah it was chill and okay and he’d be super clingy at home but when y’all were in public

man,,, he got so flustered and nervous

u just wanted to cuddle lol but he suddenly turned into a robot

the sun made everything seem slow and warm and sluggish which was pretty okay with you because you were finally spending time with mark!!!

and he was soft and squishy and a little bit awkward but so so so cute so u rly just wanted the moment to last longer

but no

just as u were about to drift off a Shadow™ loomed over u both

mark probably fell asleep again tbh

u heard a rly loud camera go CLICK and distinct voices whisper-yelling at each other

and there was a struggle

and the struggle ended with a Butt falling onto mark’s other shoulder

“MARK IM SO SORRY RENJUN PUSHED ME”

“NO YOU STINK YOU FELL BY YOURSELF”

“oh hey guys shut up the photo turned out alright”

“JENO SHUT UP THEY’RE RIGHT THERE”

mark was sitting up and you fussed over his other shoulder which was attacked by jaemin’s butt

and although he was so .. unfortunately.. woken up from his nap he was grinning and squinting up at his squabbling friends

and he chuckled as he watched u stand up and wrestle jeno for his phone to see the Photo

he was watching you chase chenle and renjun around the lawn, the two boys purposefully running slower to tease u

donghyuck sat down next to mark and put his head on his shoulder to mimic you from a few minutes ago

“oh you’re disgusting please go away.”

hyuck turned his head and batted his eyelashes up at mark who was still watching u with a dreamy smile

“you’re leaving soon, we just wanted to spend time with you before u abandon us”

mark laughed and told him he’s only graduating

but hyuck scowled and nudged mark with his elbow then gestured in your direction

“but you spend more time with her nowadays than you do with us”

mark let out a loud laugh and shook his head

“she’s my girlfriend.”

“so?”

“she’s my lover.”

“so??”

“she’s... everything to me.”

jisung, who was listening, gagged and haechan slapped mark’s tummy while hollering

and then u look over at them from the other side of the lawn, wondering why mark was lying on the floor again and why the other dreamies were surrounding him in a cultish circle

jeno and jaemin turned to face you with big chummy smiles on their faces and together they made heart arms at u

some other people on the lawn were beginning to stare and so u hide behind chenle bc renjun is too tiny

then jisung must’ve texted their group chat because renjun cackles and leads you back to the group

and u notice how bright mark’s face was which makes u blush like crazy as well

and even though stress from school, work and everything in general, was making u feel like a big and heavy raincloud

one look at mark lee made u feel like sunflowers and daisies

it totally didn’t help that when he’d look at you, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his eyes would shine with genuine adoration

and his cute little lips would stretch into the widest grin

uwu

and u bet the next batch of lyrics he gonna write is gonna be about you again!!

[sunshinechii-scenarios]

Lighting

✿ Nct’s Jaemin x Female!Reader ✿ HP!AU ✿ Fluff & kinda make out scene? ✿ 3.7k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist!

HEYEYEHEYHEYEYEYE IM BACK ON THAT GOOD OL’ HOGWARTS TRAIN and I really wanted to write another hp au. this is the longest fic I’ve written and idk what that says about me oof. BUT enjoy this! I really don’t know what Jaemin would be so I just made him a SLytherin bc of that ONE EDIT.

I made the following divider so please don’t take it or use in your own posts, thank you .- Chii

        Your eyes opened on time to catch the last few milliseconds of the bright light that filled the sky as the loud clap of thunder woke you up. You felt your own body tremble under the blankets as you hid under them, a habit from when you were a kid. Since the age of five, you were scared of thunder and lightning, the rain crashing hardly onto the glass and the sky roaring. Things like ghosts and monsters under the bed didn’t scare you as much as when it rained badly.

“Tina?” You called out to your best friend. She shared the same boat with you on the first day of school back during your first year. You two were sorted into the same house and not to mention, you also were assigned to share rooms and eventually you became best of friends for six years but that isn’t really important right now as you feared at every second passing by. The fear of thunderstorms was something that most people grew out of as they got older, most people but you. You flinched when you saw the flash of light once more and waited a few seconds for the clap. Once it came, you audibly shrieked. You felt yourself go stiff before relaxing again. 

“Tina?!” You pulled the blankets over your head. When no answer came, you shifted the blankets down a bit and sighed at the empty poster bed next to you. Tina was gone and you were alone. 

‘She’s still at that party held by some older Gryffindors,’ you thought to yourself. You thought long and hard, trying to find anyone who would be willing to wake up and comfort you but no one came into mind. Except for Na Jaemin, Jaemin was a well known Slytherin and you had the world's biggest crush on him. He and his giant group of friends were the one of the most popular groups in the school and if any boy or girl had a crush, you could bet it was on any of the boys. The only other group of friends who were equally as popular was LOONA but again it didn’t matter. Jaemin always offered to help you with classwork when he saw your struggle. You thought back to when he saved you from some other students during one of your shared classes.

         You were put to work with two other students in potions. They told you that they would read out the instructions and you could do the work. You were already uncomfortable but didn’t want to make the situation any worse. They fooled around and read to you the wrong ingredients and how much of each. This caused a big explosion that costed you 50 points from your house. Jaemin stepped in and convinced the professor that it wasn’t your fault. Other students followed him and shared how they saw your two other partners slacking off. The number of witnesses changed his mind and the points were given back to your house and 50 was taken from each student in their house. You thanked Jaemin endlessly. You wouldn’t have been able to defend yourself from the headboy and headgirl if they were to question you about the missing points. Jaemin wanted to save you from the problem not just because you were his friend but he felt something towards you but you’d never know because he didn’t have the guts to tell you.

         Na Jaemin was the friendliest person you could imagine and you were jealous of his friends to be able to be around him so much. You began to wonder if asking him for this favor would be crossing the line. Another light flashed and you didn’t want to be alone for when the sound would echo in the cold stone walls. You grabbed a blanket and speed walked to the area where the boys slept.

        You practically ran to the large door of the room where Jaemin would be in. You remembered from the few times he would lead you to his room so he could give back a borrowed book or homework. Not to mention his name and his roommates names were written on a chalkboard sign that hung on the door. You read off the names. Jeno, Haechan and Renjun.

         You took a deep breath and knocked the large door softly, almost scared to make any noise. To your luck, Jaemin wasn’t a light sleeper. You didn’t want to be alone though.You thought about how fast could you run back to your rooms and forget this whole thing if he wasn’t awake. When you heard the rolls of thunder, you knocked a bit harder and called out his name.

"J-Jaemin?" Your voice trembled and squeaked near the end of his name. You heard a pair of feet shuffling towards the door. The door opened and he stared down at you. He wore a plain gray tee shirt and a pair of yellow and black plaid pajama pants. He held a cup of coffee in one hand.

"Y/N, what are you doing here in the boys wing?" As soon as he finished speaking, a loud clap of thunder followed by a flash of lightning lit up the sky. In that second, he saw your face instead of your silhouette. You looked scared and your body froze at the sound before trembling.

        He quickly went inside to put down his back cup back down and asked you, “are you okay?”

“Barely, I know this is way too much to ask but,” you paused and thought if could really ask of this from him but then another clap came, you didn’t have a second thought about asking him.

“Could you stay with me for the night?” You asked him. He looked confused and then shocked, probably taking your request for something else. You quickly waved your hands in front of you.

“I’vehadthisreallybigfearofthunderstormsandmybestfriendisn’theresinceshe’satapartyand-” You started to explain yourself but your fast speech made it impossible to understand anything.

“Woah! Slow down.” Jaemin said as he put his hands on your shoulders to stop you from almost exploding again. You sighed and took a deep breath. His hands felt warm compared to the coldness of the basement hallways. Jaemin looked at you and told you to take a deep breath.

“I don’t mean it in a weird way I promise! I’ve had this fear of thunderstorms and my best friend isn’t here since she’s at a party and she usually helps. I figured you might.” You looked down after that, not being able to look at him straight on. You knew this was a bad idea but the weather got the best of you. You started to gather your pride and brought up that he didn’t need to do this.

“But if you don’t want to that's fine! I know this must be really awkward. I’m sorry!” You stared down at your slippers that Tina bought you as a gag gift from the souvenir store, you probably looked like a kid. You tugged on the blanket as it draped over your shoulders in your hands.

“No, it’s fine. You can come in.” You heard the door creak open and saw the lights from the inside brighten up the hallway. His roommates were gone and this whole thing just got awkward.

      “I wasn't disturbing your sleep, was I?” You said as you hesitated to step into the room.

“I wasn’t even sleeping, don’t worry about it. You're not the only person who got woken up by the storm. I was doing some studying while the others were gone.” He sighed as he closed the door and sat at his desk chair. Messy scribbles of notes and textbooks piled the right side of the wooden desk, on the left was various empty cups of coffee he probably made in the common room. His books had multiple tabs in them and looked beaten up to the pulp with excessive use.

“For what? Exams aren’t until next month,” you asked as you sat on the closed trunk in front of his bed. His black day robe was lazily draped on the trunk corner and his bag next to his desk.

“I’m bad in potions, ha..” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down before looking up at you. You two heard a meow and Jaemin got up from his seat to open the door again. His cat had came back from her nightly walk before sleeping. He held her in his arms for a bit before she jumped out and went to her kibble bowl by the trunk. He sighed and gave a look of defeat at her.

“Memorization?” You asked. Everything had a recipe and it was all in the books you where required to buy but Mr. Kwon wanted to make the older classes harder. He would assign a list of maybe 3 potions in the beginning of the week and hold a potion lab test at the end of the week.

“Yea, I could never remember what goes in what. Always stinking up Jiyong’s class.” You and him laughed, remembering how Jaemin mixed something up that somehow managed to turn Jeno’s hair neon blue. You two looked over at Kiki who was meowing loudly at your direction.

“You could get on the bed if you want, Kiki likes to hog the trunk for herself.” You nodded and got up. Kiki jumped on the brown trunk and made herself comfortable on the spot you sat in. He motioned towards his bed and you took the initiative to sit. You sank into the soft mattress.

“I might have my phone on there so just put it nightstand, if you could plug it in for me that would be great.” You spotted the phone and a pair of headphones. You carefully placed them on the nightstand and plugged his dying phone in for him. You waited for the screen to light up before placing it down next to his headphones. You sat on the bed and watched Kiki eat.

“Thanks again, I’m sorry.” You apologized. You didn’t want to look at him, so you stayed fixated on Kiki. He took a sip of coffee before placing the pencil behind his ear on his potions textbook.

“It’s fine, are you comfortable? You could go under the covers. I won’t mind.” Jaemin saw your cheeks tinge a slight pink. He turned around in his swivel chair to avoid you witnessing him smiling widely. He heard the sound of slippers falling to the floor and the shuffling of his sheets.

“Hey girl, wanna keep me company?” You softly asked Kiki, she stared at you for a bit before getting up, stretching and walking towards you. Jaemin turned his attention to you as he saw her in your lap, almost jealous of his own cat. He jokingly glared at the two of you on his bed. You giggled and shrugged at him as you slowly pet Kiki who was now on your lap.

“She never cuddles with me,” he said with a pout. You smiled and scratched the top of her head. Happy meows came out of her as she rubbed herself against you. You felt a shiver up your back.

“Do you ever get sick of how cold it always is down here? I know I do,” you said as you sat under his surprisingly warm sheets. You didn’t entirely want to just lounge in his room and the thunder was making you anxious. You thought that maybe talking to Jaemin would cancel out the noises coming from the sky. Jaemin turned away from his textbook and looked at you under the sheets with Kiki who moved back into her previous spot. His eyes gleamed with something.

“Want me to get in with you?” You noted the playfulness in his voice. You froze at his words.

“Now that would be taking advantage of your kindness, I’ll have Kiki keep me warm,” you said as you averted his gaze. He knew what he was doing to you and he absolutely loved it. He found it cute, found you cute. Your cheeks looked so pinchable. Your oversized shirt made him swoon.

“Share some warmth,” he said as he jokingly shivered and ran his hands up and down his arms. You sighed and pet Kiki. While you were here, you might as well help him. You weren’t great in potions but knew enough to pass the class. You called his name. His heart skipped a beat.

“Bring the book over, maybe I can help.” His eyes lit up at your proposal and grabbed the textbook and a pen. He sat up against the headboard and moved his pillow. Kiki found the pillow more comfortable than either of your laps so she laid on it and stayed there for a while.

         You spent the next hour helping Jaemin remember ingredients. You would take the book away from him when he would list things off. Occasionally, your hands would touch and he made comments about it. Joking that you were a vampire. You rolled your eyes at his poor jokes. You asked him for flashcards so you could make some for him but you yawned mid sentence.

“Do you want to rest?” He asked you as you wiped your teary eyes. You nodded while rubbing them. He almost couldn’t take how cute you were being. He closed his textbook and put it on the floor. He poked at Kiki to get off his pillow before turning it over and putting it back at its original place. He laid down and looked up at you before telling you to lay down also. You hesitated but you felt yourself shutting down due to lack of energy and how long you’ve been up. You lay down and face him, you two were so close that you needed to move back to avoid being right up at his face. He observed your face from the closest he’s ever seen it. You noticed this but didn’t say anything. You felt surprisingly calm at this moment next to Jaemin on his bed.

“This is a lot less awkward than I thought I would be…” you trailed off. You didn’t want to finish that sentence. You didn’t want to let him know how your heart was surprisingly calm as you laid in the same bed as your crush i.e him. He instantly wanted to know what you had to say.

“Why is that?” Jaemin’s interest peaked but you stayed silent. He was going to get it out of you.

“Ah, come on tell me!” You started to laugh as he pokes your sides and tickled them. You two laughed until your throat felt dry. You started to cough. Jaemin got up and went to grab you something to drink. He gave you a cup of water, you started to drink it and put it down after a bit.

“Honestly, I thought you were about to hand me a cup of coffee or poison,” you said but quickly shut your mouth and smack a hand over it. Jaemin started to giggle as he stood by your side.

You looked at Jaemin with wide eyes. You knew exactly what he gave you, “I  swear to god, did you give me a truth serum?” Jaemin smiled. It almost made you want to forgive him, almost.

“Hey, you weren’t telling me anything and I’m a stubborn person. I wanted to know,” Your eyes widened and you smacked his arm. He laughed loudly, throwing his head back and letting out as much laughter as he could. His hair fell back and moved back into place when he lifted his head.

“I’m going to force myself into a coma, oh my gosh. I’m going to sleep!” You let yourself hit his pillow and turned away from him. You eyed the cup on the nightstand that you just drank from.

Jaemin laid down and propped himself on his elbow before asking you, “do you sleep talk?”

“Luckily, no,” you said with a smile on your lips. You called Kiki over and she happily laid in the spot next to Jaemin’s pillow. Jaemin wished you a good night before going back to his desk.

         While you slept, Jaemin would peek over at you when he felt restless. How cute you looked under his sheets sent his heart soaring. Sometimes you would make small sounds but it was just because both of Kiki’s paws were on your face. You really were out like a light, Jaemin left to make more coffee in the common room and when he came back, you were still asleep.

         It wasn’t until around 3 AM that you got up. You groaned and lifted yourself off the bed. Jaemin smiled at your disheveled hair and still sleepy expression. He got up and sat on the bed.

“Sleep well?” you rubbed your eyes and noticed Jaemin hovering over you. Your heart flipped when you looked up at his eyes and tried to speak. You covered your face with the blanket and shuffled backwards but he kept leaning forward and forward. You finally said something to him.

“I really didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You covered your face with your hands and moved away from Jaemin but you could only shuffle so far on a twin bed meant for one person, not two.

“It’s alright, you looked like you were resting well,” Jaemin looked down at you. Remembering your soft breathing and content sighs when he would move your hair out of your face when he went to check up on you. You acted like Kiki, moving towards his touch as he was next to you.

“I-I think I should go, it’s really late and it sounds like the storm stopped, I’m lying by the way,” you started to get out of the bed realizing that the serum wasn't out of effect yet. You were sitting at the edge of the bed when another strike of lightning came down. Jaemin saw your body jump as the sound was louder in his room. He looked at you and patted the spot you were in before.

“Maybe,” he paused and looked at you, “you should stay the night. I won’t do anything bad.”

“What if I want you to,” you said. You hid your face and turned away from him. Your face heated up and your heart beat quick. You really hated this serum and him but that was hard to do.

“Oh,” his voice perked up. He was surprised that the serum’s effect was going to last longer than he expected. He sat on the bed, trying to collect his thoughts until you spoke up again.

“Wow, look at the time! It’s been three hours and this stupid serum isn't out of effect yet! I really hate you for this but I’m glad you did it.” You said as you picked your blanket from the hood of his trunk and started walking towards the door. Kiki meowing for you not to leave the room.

         Jaemin moved quicker than you did. He reached the door before you did and held your wrist. He pulled you closer to him. You put your hands on his chest to steady yourself. His hands now around your waist. He leaned in closer and closer. He saw your eyes flicker between his and his lips. His lips looked inviting, a hue of muted pink. You looked back up at his eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” He said as he cocked a brow at you and smiled a grinned a bit.

“Kiss me and lead because I’m really nervous right now but I’ve never felt so alive,” you responded quicker than he expected. He started to lean down and you closed your eyes. You felt his breath on your lips. His eyes opened and looked at you. Your eyes fluttered open and looked back at him, wondering why he stopped. Your heart felt like it was about to jump out.

“Are you entirely sure?” He was sweet to ask but you mentally wanted to scream, he was really asking you this while he’s a few millimeters away from you. He was teasing you at this point.

“I’m talking under the influence of a truth serum. Just hurry up,” he laughed lowly before pressing his lips against yours. They were a little chapped. You could taste the faint bitterness of the coffee he drank. His hands found themselves on your hips. He let one hand move behind your head and held you in place. His hand would make you shift to the right as the pressure of the kiss went harder. Your noses bumped into each other. Your hands moved from their place on his chest and around his shoulders. You let your fingers comb through his hair. It felt a little dry from all the times he had dyed it. 

        He pulled away to let you two breath, if he didn’t he would have kept his hold on you until who knows. You two breathed heavily. Your cheeks flushed and your lips were the same color as them. Jaemin felt a thousand arrows going through his heart. You grabbed his collar and went back in. He was shocked and surprised that you took the lead this time but he wasn't complaining. He took this chance to enjoy himself. Your lips were plush and soft. He held you close to himself as you continued to just kiss him into the door behind him. He painfully pulled you away from him. He needed to breath again and so did you.

“Why’d you stop me, please keep going if you don't like me doing it,” you said shamelessly and immediately felt yourself flush with color when you realized what you said. Jaemin laughed.

“I didn't not like what you were doing but you seemed like you need to breath,” he said in between breaths as rested his forehead on yours.

“I’m still angry at you about the serum.” You said as you hit his chest.

“That's fine with me.” He pulled you in for a tight hug and pecked your forehead.

This totally random but I saw a jacket version of the vest Jaemin wore in GO and I almost screamed bc I hated that vest on him. The GO outfits was like the cousin of the  Limitless outfits for some of the stuff they put the boys in. - Chii

Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.

[jaeminlore]

vampire!donghyuck

right! so donghyuck was turned not to long ago like maybe?? one or two weeks?

he was walking home from school one night when a vampire attacked him and sucked his blood

donghyuck thought he was going to die right there but he woke up the next morning on the side of the road w fangs and extraordinarily sharp senses

and he’s freaking out like he has no idea what to tell his parents or how to tell his parents

like hey mom and dad!! i’m a vampire now!!

so he takes his precious time walking to his house, even tho his new vampire strength is begging him to pick up speed

and when he gets inside,,, his mom can see how his skin is washed out and his eyes are surrounded by subtle purple rings

her son’s eyes aren’t his anymore, they’re now amber and predatorial

donghyuck is like “mom… pls help me…”

but she doesn’t. she calls in her husband. it takes him one glance at donghyuck to decide he no longer has a son

they give him an hour to get his stuff

then donghyuck is officially a homeless vampire fledgling, who had no idea how to deal with his newfound powers

after three nights of sleeping on benches and being awoken to the sun burning his skin and forcing him to hide in the local bookstore all day,,,, he finally gets noticed by vampire!taeil,,, who asks him if he needs a place to live

and so donghyuck becomes the new resident of the nct household

he’s nervous,, but when he enters,,, no one seems fazed

in fact the entire house is pretty weird and strange,,, there are frozen animal brains in the freezer,,, and donghyuck once sat on a cushion that yelled at him and turned into a boy

but becoming a vampire isn’t easy,,,, and donghyuck is rather bitter at everything in general

he just wants to be human again

he doesn’t even like blood and when taeil makes him these wierd blood milkshakes he nearly gags at how much his body seems to crave the disgusting substance

eventually he has enough. he’s going to eat a burger if it kills him

(and it might. he doesn’t know vampire physiology)

so he picks a convient day ,,, when the house is out of blood ,,, and tells taeil that he’s heading out to get some

instead, he heads straight to the closest mcdonalds and orders a big mac and a large coke

but :( it doesn’t taste good at all :(

donghyuck didn’t even expect his body to reject human food like this,,,, maybe since he doesn’t need it anymore his body views it as waste??

he doesn’t know,,,, but it makes him even more bitter tbh

on his way back home he realizes that he was here to get blood,,, but he has no idea where taeil gets those large sacks of sheep’s blood from

so he heads to the closest shopping plaza and sees party city ,,,, he gets the idea that if taeil sees that he has blood ,,,, he probably won’t question donghyuck where he got it from ,,,, or taste test it like a weirdo

so donghyuck figures he’ll get a bag of fake blood and just trick taeil into thinking he picked up a small bag for a snack

he heads into the party store and goes immediately to the scary section,,,, there on the shelf is only one fake sack of blood ,,,, a bit lighter than the actual fluid ,,,, but it’s all they have

donghyuck reaches for it just as another hand does,,,,, a clearly human hand from the healthy-looking skin

donghyuck looks down to see you, who is lowkey super cute, trying to take his fake blood

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asks, his hand still gripping the bag

you struggle to pull the bag towards you “i’ve been looking for fake blood all day for my school play,,,, there’s no way you’re going to take it from me,,,,”

but donghyuck isn’t backing down either,,,, so the two of you play a lame game of tug of war before donghyuck has finally had enough,,, and he bares his fangs at you

you release immediately,,,,, and your eyes are wide and terrified,,, donghyuck sees something in your eyes,,,, and he realizes that he made a mistake. he shouldn’t have done that.

“i’m s—” before he can apologize, you’re out the door, rushing to your car

donghyuck feels lousy,,,,, and when he tells taeil what happened he feels even lousier,,, bc taeil tells him that vampires get a lot scarier right before they’re going to bite

“i wasn’t going to bite!” donghyuck argued

“but you bared your teeth,, what’s a human supposed to think?”

the next few days donghyuck feels horrible,,, he wants to find you again somehow and apologize,,, he wants to clear the air and make everything okay with you ,,,, he’ll even give you the bag of fake blood he bought

he has no idea how to do it,,, until one day witch!mark mentions that his school is putting on a romeo and juliet play

mark and donghyuck go to different schools,,, since mark goes to a more private school and donghyuck is in the public school of their town

didn’t you mention needing the blood for a play?

he knows his school isn’t doing a play so this must be the one,,,, this is where he can go apologize to you

he just hopes you’ll accept it

donghyuck gets there early, with his hair almost in his eyes as he walks into the school’s auditorium

“excuse me, rehearsals are still going on. you can’t be here,” someone, perhaps the drama teacher, tells donghyuck

“i’m here for my friend. she, uh, asked me to find her some fake blood. i’ve got it.”

“oh, you’re a friend of y/n! everyone’s backstage, go on ahead.”

donghyuck nods and walks backstage,,, a bit nervous bc he’s afraid of what you’ll do when you see him again,,,, he’s also afraid that you’ll look at him like you did at the store ,,,, as if he rlly was a terrifying monster

he finally spots you in jeans and a t-shirt, applying makeup onto who he assumed was the juliet of the play

“uhh… y/n?”

you turn around and jump, startled that the vampire from the shop had found you. you pull him away from curious ears. “h-hi? how did you find me?”

donghyuck shrugs, “you mentioned a play and this was the only one in town. i, uh, brought your fake blood.”

“oh. thanks.” you gingerly take it out of his hands and look at it. “you really came all this way just to give me fake blood?”

“no. i came to apologize for scaring you. i’m a recently turned vampire and i still don’t know all of my abilities yet. i don’t want you to think i was ever even thinking about hurting you,,, because i wasn’t.”

you smile brightly then, and donghyuck can feel himself calming down “i accept your apology. i shouldn’t have overreacted about the blood. technically you did see it first.”

donghyuck detects a blush on your cheeks as you continue, “maybe you’d like to stay and watch the play with me? i have an extra ticket.”

donghyuck smiles widely,, and you can see his fangs again, but they aren’t scary or ferocious or anything. they’re just cute. “i’d love to.”

so after you finish up your backstage work and all the actors are called to the stage, donghyuck and you walk towards your seats

“wait… what were you, a vampire, doing with fake blood anyway?”

“… don’t ask”

part of the monster!nct collab w @trickortaeil

[celestialmarkiplier]

Just a Nightmare (Jack/Anti)

A/N: THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD ATTEMPT AT SPOOKY, IM SORRY SDFYGUHNJ

Requested? Yes! Anon requested: Hello there! Can I request a really dark story with Anti and Jack? Angst, gore, (psycho-)horror, dread and graphic, bloody descriptions? (Sorry, I'm a sadistic sucker for horror stuff and psycho games hehe)Maybe it starts out with a repeating nightmare which gets bloodier and more detailed every time. Then, specific things from the dream happen irl (like a sound he recognizes), which is foreshadowing to Anti who kidnaps him one night and takes sadistic pleasure in torture? (I just realized I sound pretty weird and crazy myself... I swear I’m normal lol). BUT ALSO don’t let me tell you what to write if you already have a better idea in mind!

Pairing: not an actual pairing, Anti and Jack are the stars of this one. (not romantic) ALSO, BONNIE. IS. HIS. FRIEND. THEY ARE IN NO WAY A ROMANTIC COUPLE, BONNIE DOES NOT LIKE JACK IN *THAT* WAY, HONESTLY I IMAGINE HER AS BEING ASEXUAL T B H

Warnings: angst, gore, blood, psychotic tendencies, graphic violence, cursing, things of that nature. readers, im warning you now. (it probably wont be that spooky actually bc im not spooky so im sorry anon who requested this i tried)

“When will you ever learn, Jack…” A voice taunts from behind the chair Jack had been strapped to for God knows how long. He was blindfolded, gagged, and had a rope tied around his arms, legs, and around his neck then looped through the back of the chair like a leash so that his head would stay up. The man- no, the thing- had faux sympathy laced through its words that Jack could see right through. Anyone could hear the sick undertones held in the voice; the bitch was enjoying every second of this.

“You can’t run, you can’t hide. You’re my little pet until I say otherwise!” Jack jumped at the barbaric and angry shout the last words came out as. “And the best part is, you won’t even tell anyone about it. You know what will happen if you do.”  There was a long sigh from in front of Jack before the blindfold was forcefully ripped away from his face, making Jack wince at the sudden amount of light flooding in his senses. It might have been dim in the room, but it was still enough light to leave him blinking rapidly to try and focus.

Once his eyes finally focused he gasped involuntarily. The thing in front of him wasn’t actually a thing at all- it was Jack himself.

Jack woke up with a jolt, sitting straight up in his bed and looking around. Cold sweat dripped down from his forehead to his jaw and finally dropped down onto the hollow area above his collarbone. He sighed, that was the third time he had woken up tonight alone.

Jack had these nightmares regularly. They were always the same, he gets kidnapped, thrown into a dim room, restrained, and always ends up finding out the villain is a twisted version of himself. The villain, who he chooses to call AntiJack (anti for short), looks exactly like him; well, other than the huge gash across his throat and the glitches that radiate from his body. Jack never gets a break from this entity in his dreams, it's a constant nightmare he has once, twice, maybe even three times a night. He’s tried everything, even going to a therapist, but the nightmares won't stop. It was something Jack was convinced was just in his head. That is, until one day when his best friend Bonnie came over.

“Jack?” Bonnie had questioned from her place standing by the door to Jack’s bedroom. They had been playing video games all day and Bonnie had left to get more snacks. Jack grunted in response, being far too lazy to actually put in the effort to say anything more.

“Why was this in your kitchen? Are you really that kinky?” She half jokes, Jack furrowed his eyebrows and looked up, eyes widening when he saw what she held in her hand. It was a gag. Not just any gag, though. It was the ball gag Anti had used in the nightmare Jack had been having; the same ball gag the demonic man had used to restrain Jack and leave him helpless against his torture.

“W-Where did you find that?” Jack stuttered out, face probably much paler than usual.

Bonnie just smirked, oblivious. “It was literally laying on the kitchen table, how could you not remember to put these things back up? You knew I was coming over, I don’t need to know about your sex life, Mr. Grey.” She chuckles and lays the gag on his dresser, hopping on the bed and only noticing how pale her best friend was once she had sat down. It was her turn to furrow her brow, “Are you okay, greenbean?”

Jack couldn’t speak for a couple seconds, just stared at the ball gag wordlessly. He almost told his friend about the gag not being his, however he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sure, she knew about his nightmares, she had been the one to sleep with him when he refused to be alone the first couple nights he had them, but something told him it would be a bad idea to speak about this. He didn’t want to worry his best friend anymore than she already was. Besides, the demonic thing had warned him that he would regret it if he told anyone. So he can’t.

“Uh, you know, just embarrassed at the fact that my best friend found out about one of my kinks.” Jack forces himself to chuckle and Bonnie seems to believe him, carrying on the conversation by saying something about changing his name in her phone to Christian Grey before they fell silent, Bonnie being emerged into the world of videogames and Jack being emerged into the world of his thoughts.

Bonnie had decided to stay the night. Usually Jack would be fine with this, however the ball gag that was sitting in the bottom drawer of his bedside table (he couldn't get rid of it without Bonnie asking questions) was still taunting him. Jack was only brought out of his thoughts about the gag when Bonnie crawled into bed beside him.

She smiled slightly cuddling into her pillow and brushing her hair out of her face before she asked, “You doing okay? Need me to cuddle with you tonight?”

Jack couldn’t help but smile, despite his mood. Bonnie had been his best friend since fifth grade. She had always been understanding of everything he told her, and in return he had done the same. He was glad she understood his situation. She never asked him to talk about it, only let him cuddle her (or vice versa) if he needed it and assured him everything was going to be okay. The next morning, she would always ask him once if he wanted to talk, and if he said no she would leave it at that. They would carry on with their day as normal afterwards.

So, with Jack’s arm wrapped tightly around his friend’s waist, he fell into unconsciousness and hoped his dreams would be better tonight.

It’s morning. Jack feels like he hasn’t slept a wink as his eyes flutter open. Bonnie is no longer beside him and he grows worried as his eyes flutter open, realizing he is on a hard floor instead of in his own bed. He groans, sitting up and looking around the area. Turns out it's not morning, the lights in the room are just incredibly bright. Where did Bonnie go? Where is he?

Suddenly there’s a static noise surrounding him. It starts by coming from the right side of the room- no, the left- no! He can’t even tell where it came from now, all he knows is that it's feeling his senses and he has no choice but to put his hands over his ears and get back down on the floor, the noise is too much for him to handle and-

And suddenly, it stops. Leaving him with a distinct ringing in his ears. He sits up again, furrowing his eyebrows and trying to make sense of this. Then suddenly, things click into place and his eye widen. This is another dream.

Almost as soon as he realizes this there is a glitchy laugh from the corner of the room, a figure coming up behind him and kicking him between his shoulder blades, holding him down and applying pressure on his back.

“Poor, poor boy.” The familiar voice starts, pushing down hard enough to make Jack wince. “You thought you were safe,”

“Wh-what do you want?” Jack whimpers, “Why are you doing this?”

The entity laughs again, the sound scratching at Jack’s ear drums and making him wince harder.

“Isn’t it obvious? You see, Jack, it’s simple. You made my life hell, so I’m returning the favor.”

With that, Jack feels a scorching pain down his spine, making him scream in agony. The pain continues, going from the start of his spine all the way to his tailbone and he’s pretty sure he's bleeding if the wet feeling on his back is any indication. Eventually he can’t take the pain anymore, and blacks out…

“...Jack?”

“..Jack! Wake up!”

“JACK!”

Jack is woken up by a sharp push on his chest. He groans in response and grips the hand tightly, opening his eyes and starting blearily at the woman in front of him. Bonnie.

“What happened? You were groaning in your sleep, are you okay?” She looks so worried, Jack feels bad for ruining her sleep. “God, you’re burning up. Here, let’s get you into some clean clothes because these are drenched.” She was right, his current clothes are absolutely soaked with sweat. He nods, trying to stand. He gets a total of two steps away from the bed before he yelps, a stinging pain going up his spine. Bonnie rushes over with clean clothes, helping him into the bathroom. She wipes his arms and face off with a clean washcloth before he tells her he’s okay and she leaves the room to let him get dressed. He dresses in the t shirt and shorts, staring in the mirror for a little while before raising his shirt up and turning around, letting himelf look at his back.

He immediately regrets his decision to look at his back. There’s a new scar, red and very prominent, running down his spine. His whole back is covered in bruises and he’s now a shaking mess. How did this happen? This isn't even possible, he’s going crazy. He has to be. This is not normal. Suddenly, the door is opened and in comes Bonnie, stopping as soon as she sees his back and holding a hand to her mouth.

“Oh my God. Jack, what the hell happened?! How did you not tell me about this?” His friend looked like she wanted to help, but didnt know how. He stared at the mark a second longer before he bursted into tears, right there in front of his best friend. Against his better judgment, he told her everything. He told her about Anti, about what happens in his nightmares, about the torture, everything. His face is buried in her neck whenever he feels her start to shake, the shaking gets more chaotic and finally, he has to look up. She’s laughing.

“Jack, Jack, Jack,” Her voice shifts from her normal, soft tone to one with more roughness. “I told you not to tell anyone…” Suddenly, the environment around him shifts and glitches, and he’s in the dark basement agan, with Bonnie standing in front of him. Only, it's not Bonnie. It's a demonic form of his best friend that has jet black eyes and a cut across her throat. He gulps, sweating bullets and ignoring the dull pain in his back.

“Anti,” he whispers, getting a smirk from ‘Bonnie’ before she glitches away and is replaced with a very twisted demon entity holding a sharp knife.

The demon comes in closer, crouching down in front of Jack and pulling the gag from his pocket. He ties it around Jack’s mouth and tsks before standing back up, trailing his knife down his arm.

“You should have just listened to me.”

(A/N: I TRIED SO HARD O M G IM SORRY RIP AHAH)(also i put x reader in the tags bc its my usual tags, so yes its not an x reader thing but oh well)

[casper-has-a-cat]

could you write a fic where viktor has a panic attack for the first time and yuuri knows just how to calm him down bc he's dealt with it for so long 😭

WARNING: descriptions of a panic attack and vomit below!  also, death of a pet.

read the warning!

read the warning!

read the warning!

okay, you’ve been warned!  please enjoy the fic!

He was so happy.  Viktor was so, so incredibly happy.  For the first time in his life.  Running with Yuuri and Makkachin on the beach, playing frisbee, splashing around in the sea - he was practically flying.  In fact he was flying, and so were Yuuri and Makkachin, and Viktor could hardly breathe because Makka wouldn’t stop licking his face and-

And then he woke up.

Makkachin wasn’t licking his face, but it was wet.  Ah, there were tears.  Why was he crying?  It had been such a happy dream!  Even if he couldn’t fly, he was just as happy with Makkachin and Yuuri.

Viktor rolled over in bed, reaching an arm across on instinct, searching either for a ball of fluffy fur or the texture of soft pajamas.  Instead he found only cold, empty bed, and it hit him: Makka was gone.

Makka was gone and Viktor was alone and he would die alone and he couldn’t breathe and maybe he was going to die now?  From grief?  Was that- was that even possible?

It certainly felt like it.  It felt like a grief-induced heart-attack was upon him.  His girl was gone, gone forever.  The cancer had taken her quickly and for that he should feel blessed but selfishly he wanted her back.  And Yuuri- well, Viktor wasn’t sure how long it took Yuuri to return to the bedroom, but it felt like forever.  He’d probably just gone to get a glass of water, but by the time Yuuri got back, Viktor couldn’t think past gone forever.  Everything that wasn’t with him right at that moment was lost.  Gone forever.

So when Yuuri did get back, finally, Viktor’s panic was pretty clear.

“Oh, VItya,” he approached the bed quickly, but cautiously, until Viktor reached his arms out.  Instead of simply falling into those arms like he normally would, Yuuri took Viktor’s hands in both of his own and laid down.  He pulled Viktor close.  With Viktor’s head on his chest, Yuuri could hear the accelerated rate of his breath.  “Baby, I need you to breathe.  Breathe for me.”

“C-Can’t.  Yuuri.  Yuuri.  Yuuri, d-don’t leave me-“

“Vitya, listen to me.  In and out, that’s all.  You can do it.  Listen to my heartbeat if it helps, I’m right here.  In and out.”

“I think- think I’m dying Yuuri, my heart-“  Viktor whimpered and Yuuri brushed a hand through the older man’s hair.  He lowered his voice to a whisper.

“You’re having a panic attack, love.  It will pass, I promise, and I’ll be right here the whole time.  Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“I-It’s not.  M-Makka.”

Makkachin.  Of course.  The thought of the dog sent a spike of sadness through Yuuri’s heart.

“Oh, baby.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, love, I miss her too but-“

“I want Makka,” Viktor sobbed.

In anticipation of his next words, Yuuri laughed, but it was a little bit broken, halfway to a sob.  “I know, love, but you’re gonna have to settle for me.”

That got Viktor’s attention.

“No- no, Yuuri I love you-”

Yuuri pressed a kiss to Viktor’s cheek.  “I’m just teasing, Vitya, of course I know that.  But I need you to trust me and breathe, okay?”

Viktor took a shuddering breath.  “Okay.”

“In… Now out…  In… Out… That’s it, you’re doing great- In… Now out…”

“I’m gonna be sick.”  Viktor said it so quietly that Yuuri wondered if he’d imagined it.

“Vit-“

“Gonna throw up.”

“Oh.”  That had never happened to Yuuri as a result of anxiety, but he wasn’t about to let Viktor know that.  “Okay, give me a sec-“

Viktor gagged and Yuuri scrambled for the trash can beside the bed.  He managed just in time.  As soon as Viktor got ahold of the receptacle, vomit was splashing into it.

“Okay, alright, Vitya.  Keep breathing.”

Viktor coughed and gagged until more stomach acid came up, and after that he was left empty and shaky and exhausted- but able to breathe again.  He sniffled, but the tears began to slow.  Yuuri put the trashcan on the ground and wrapped Viktor in a hug.

“You alright, love?”

Viktor nodded, and Yuuri rubbed his back.

“You know it’s okay to be sad, right?  She’s in a better place, but… It’s okay to feel loss.”

“I- Yuuri- she’s been with me-“  Viktor broke off with a weak sob.

“I know,” Yuuri said.  And he did, to some extent.  He’d listened, happily, to all Viktor had to say about Makkachin.  Hundreds of stories, told time and time again, with the same amount of love and excitement every time.  Yuuri was thoroughly convinced that Makkachin must have lived the best life possible for any dog, ever.

And he knew, even from the short amount of time he’d had with Vi-chan, that all of those happy memories made that much harder to let go.

[boofphil]

games period cancelled

summary: phil expected another game period of sitting around with his best friend, dan, on the sidelines, listening to music. he didn't expect to end up caring for dan. not that he's complaining

genre: you. you’d never guess (another sickfic)

word count: 1125

warnings: vomiting

A/N: i wrote this instead of the series bc i was concussed enjoy

For the first time in his life, Dan was glad when game period came around. He stumbled over to the coach and quickly made his excuse of not feeling well (which the coach accepted without even looking), then quickly went over to the school alleyway where everyone who didn’t want to run around in cold mud hung out at. Choosing a spot far enough from everyone else, Dan sat down and leaned against the wall.

He hadn’t been lying about not feeling well. He had a headache and his stomach had started to hurt halfway through the last period. Dan placed a hand over his stomach and closed his eyes.

“Dan? You alright?”

Dan peeked through his eyelids to see Phil standing in front of him, staring intensely at Dan. Dan merely hummed and closed his eyes again, feeling too bilious to bother to respond. He felt Phil sit down next to him and he laid his head on Phil’s shoulder, taking comfort in his friend’s presence.

“You look sick.”

Dan took a deep breath, attempting to quell the nausea. “I feel sick.”

Phil frowned, his concern growing. “How long have you been feeling sick?”

“I woke up with a headache. It only got worse as the day went on and now my tummy hurts.” He scooted further next to Phil so he could lean his entire weight on him. He pulled his knees closer, making himself look small.

Phil placed a hand on Dan’s forehead, feeling for a fever. Sure enough, Dan’s skin was abnormally warm. Phil moved his hand to Dan’s cheek, noticing a slight flush to it. “You have a fever, Dan. You need to go home.”

Dan groaned, not quite liking the idea of moving at the moment. His stomach felt like it held a million sharp rocks that were making it ache.

“You need to go to the nurse,” Phil explained, trying to shove Dan off him.

“No, I’ll end up throwing up along the way.” He rolled away from Phil, choosing to curl up against the wall.

“You’re going to throw up anyway. Would you rather do it in the nurse’s office or here in front of these kids?” Phil gestured to the teens around them, most who were either listening to music or sleeping.

Dan hated to admit that Phil was right; he would much rather vomit in the nurse’s office than here where it would cause a scene. “Do you promise to stay with me?”

Phil’s eyes softened. Dan was often quick to hide his vulnerabilities, so it always made Phil feel special whenever he let Phil take care of them. “I promise I won’t leave until I know you’re going to be okay.”

Dan left the wall, slowly standing up. He didn’t stand up fully, slouching and wrapping an arm loosely around his stomach. He slowly began to walk away from the wall and to the school doors, not bothering to tell the coach where he was going (the coach didn’t care anyway). Phil followed alongside him, making sure he was still ok.

The nurse’s office was all the way at the front of the school, while they were in the back. Phil hoped Dan could make it there. He rested a hand on Dan’s back, encouraging him to continue. Thankfully, Dan managed to avoid throwing up, only stopping every once and awhile when the nausea became too much.

Phil knocked on the door and guided Dan in. The nurse looked up from her book, frowning when she saw Dan. She stood up and sat him down on one of the cots while Phil grabbed a trash can.

“Is your stomach hurting hun?” the nurse said, placing a hand on Dan’s back. He was slouched far forward, face hidden from sight.

Dan didn’t say anything. What he did do was suddenly launch forward and grab the trash can, gagging into it. The nurse sighed sympathetically and rubbed his back as he threw up.

She turned to Phil as Dan dry heaved. “How sick is he?”

“He has a fever and was complaining of a headache along with a stomachache.”

“Sounds like the stomach flu,” the nurse said. “We’ve been having a lot of kids coming down with it this month.”

Dan sat up again, face pale and body trembling. The nurse quickly laid him back. Dan curled up on his side, eyes shut. He looked much worse than he did earlier. Phil wanted nothing more than to hold him in his arms and keep him close until he was better.

“He’ll need to go home once his stomach has settled a bit.”

Phil sat down next to Dan, letting the boy curl around him. He rested his hand in Dan’s hair, feeling the heat radiating off of him. “I could take him home; I don’t have any classes after this one.”

The nurse nodded. “Yes, that’s fine. Stay with him until his parents come home and make sure he doesn’t get any worse.”

Phil nodded, glancing down at the sickly boy. Dan looked so vulnerable with his flushed cheeks and feverish trembling. He had no plans to leave Dan’s side anytime soon.

They made it home before Dan threw up again. Phil rubbed his back as he retched into the toilet, whimpering from the nausea and the pain. Dan looked up from the toilet bowl, bloodshot eyes and general sickness tugging at Phil’s heart. He opened up his arms for Dan, who practically collapsed into him. Dan hiccuped and buried his face in Phil’s chest.

“You poor thing,” Phil cooed. “Let’s get you to bed.” He helped Dan up onto trembling legs, guiding him to bed. He tucked Dan in and propped up his head, making Dan as cozy as possible. Once Dan was settled, he left the room to grab some water and a bucket. He put some ice cubes and a straw in the cup, then grabbed the bucket from the hall closet. Peeking through Dan’s bedroom door, he cooed at the sight of Dan.

The boy had the blanket pulled up to his chin and he was shivering, cheeks flustered. His hair had started to curl and he was pouting. To Phil, he couldn’t have looked more adorable.

“I’m back,” Phil whispered, coming into the room.

Dan glanced up at Phil, then pulled the covers over his head. Phil smiled and set the stuff down on bedside table, then gently pried the covers away. He smoothed back Dan’s fringe.

“You’re going to be okay,” he reassured, kissing Dan’s forehead.

Dan closed his eyes, sighing. “As long as you stay with me. Though, don’t complain when I make you sick.”

“That doesn’t matter. You do.”

Dan stuck out his tongue, but he still smiled.

[premiumcable]

Guilt

Rick Grimes x Reader

Hi! Omg your stories are insanely amazing. I LOVED the one about rick walking in on the reader masturbating.. sooo will u please do one where the reader is younger like 20 and rick likes her but is scared to make a move bc shes younger than him and he feels guilty for wanting her. And the reader walks in on him masturbating and moaning her name.. Thank you!!! 💕

Here you go anon! I really hope you enjoy it! This request really inspired me and I was so excited to write it, I couldn’t wait! 💛

Warnings: SMUT, swearing, masturbation, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex

Words: 2,431

A/N: This is pure, dirty smut. 

He knew it was wrong to want you, but he couldn’t help it. You had awakened something within him that he thought had been extinguished long ago. No matter how much he ached for you, he would never make any advances because of your age. You were only a few years older than his son and he couldn’t imagine his reaction and the reactions of others in your group if he’d made a move on you. So he had resigned himself to quick glances when no one was looking and quiet longing.

But little did he know, you were harboring quite the attraction for the older man yourself. His gruff exterior and dominating presence were such a turn on for you. You loved a man who wasn’t afraid to take control and Rick had displayed on more than one occasion that he definitely wasn’t one to shy away from those situations. But he never gave any indication that he thought of you than just another member of the group.

He’d seen you earlier today walking down the streets of Alexandria in those shorts that drove him crazy. It made him want nothing more than to walk over to you, throw you over his shoulder to take you home and fuck you senseless. He watched you from his porch for a few moments focusing on your hips as they swayed from side to side, he could feel his blood rushing downward as he hardened inside his jeans. Everyone had already left for the day so he headed back inside to take care of the not-so-little situation you had caused.

Sitting on his bed, he pulled his shirt over his head, unzipping his jeans to pull out his aching cock. He swirled his thumb over the tip, gathering the leaking precum and using it for lubrication as he began stroking up and down. Rick closed his eyes and pictured you spread out on the bed beneath him, you breasts bouncing up and down from the force of his thrusts. He moaned at the thought and increased the speed of his ministrations. Lost in his pleasure, he didn’t hear a knock coming from downstairs.

Today you were going to be helping Carol and Olivia in the pantry. Glenn, Abraham, and Michonne had gone on a run and found an old cabin that hadn’t been touched. They brought back enough to hold you all over for about a month and everything needed to be put into inventory and divided into rations.

“Olivia, where do you want me to store all the baby formula for Judith?” You inquired, holding 3 full tins in your arms.

“You can go ahead and take those over to Rick’s, he said this morning that we needed to go on a run for some more,” Carol interjected as she packed away some MRE’s into a plastic tub.You nodded and left the pantry, walking in the direction of the Grimes’ house.

Stepping on the porch, you knocked softly not wanting to intrude. When there was no response you went ahead and let yourself in. Placing the formula on the counter in the kitchen, you turned around to leave and head back to the pantry.

“Fuck!”

You turned your head towards the stairs at the exclamation echoed through the house. You recognized the voice as Rick’s, it sounded strained and you worried that the man might be in pain. Hesitantly, you walked over to the stairs and climbed them, listening intently.

You didn’t hear anything else, but when you had reached the top of the stairs you heard his voice again.

“Y/N….”

Confused, you walked down the hallway towards the closed door thinking maybe he had seen you walk over to the house through the upstairs window. Opening the door, you were shocked by what you saw. Rick sat on his bed, eyes closed, with his jeans open and pulled down to his knees and his hand stroking his large erection while moaning your name. Your gasp aloud, alerting him to your presence, his eyes snap open and he looks over at you standing next to the door in horror. He quickly turns around and grabs one of the throw pillows that had been resting at the head of the bed to cover himself.

“Y/N! What are you doing in here?” He asks, his face red from embarrassment at being caught in the act. You gape at him in shock, was he pleasuring himself…thinking about you? But he had never made any indication that he felt that way about you.

“I brought some formula for Judith. I, um, I heard you call from downstairs and I thought you might have been in pain or something, but then I heard you call my name. I assumed you’d seen me from the window up here. I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to in-intrude on your, um, private time.” You stumbled over your words as you struggled to get a grasp on the situation.

As surprised as you were you couldn’t deny that you didn’t relish in the idea of him picturing you while stroking his cock. A wicked idea pops in your head and you move slowly towards the half-naked man sitting on the bed.

“Y/N, you should probably go. Please don’t tell anyone about what you saw here. I’m sorry you saw this,” He says, his voice a little higher in pitch from the embarrassment.

“Why were you saying my name if you didn’t know I was here Rick?” You ask with a small smirk on your lips.

“Um-I-I,” He stammers, trying to think of a valid excuse, but you interrupt him before he can say anything else.

“Were you thinking about me in here?” His eyes widen at the question.

“What! No, I wasn’t.” He protests weakly.

“I think you were Rick, and I can’t tell you how wet it makes me knowing that you’re in here stroking your cock while thinking about me.” You move closer to him and kneel in front of his legs.

“W-what are you doing?” He asks nervously at your sudden movement.

“Come on Rick, I know you want me. The proof is right there under that pillow.” You say as you reach your hand forwards tugging gently on it and pulling it away. His hard erection is exposed and leaking, you lick your lips at the sight. He places his hands on your shoulders to stop you from moving any closer.

“Y/N w-we can’t do this. It's not right.” He says and you look up, meeting his gaze with a small pout on your lips.

“Just let me suck it, Rick, please? I’ll be a good girl and I won’t tell anyone, I promise, it’ll be our little secret.” You say and tilt your head a little to the side. He groans at your words.

“Fuck,” He says and you can hear the resolve in his voice weakening, but he still doesn’t give in.

“Please, Rick? You have no idea how bad I want you to fuck my mouth.” His eyes darken with lust at your words.

“You promise you won’t tell anybody?” He asks and you nod at his words.

“I promise, it’ll just be a one-time thing and you don’t have to do anything for me,” He leans backward on the bed and you hesitantly reach forward and grasp his erection. He lets out a moan at the feeling.

“Oh my god Rick, you’re so hard. Is this all for me?” You say as you lean forward and lick up the underside of his cock before gathering his precum and moaning at the taste.

“Mmmm, you taste so fucking good. I could suck you off all day.” You say before wrapping your lips around the head, swirling your tongue around his head and using your hand to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Which was quite a bit, he was much larger than anyone else you had been with.

“Oh my god,” He groans at your words. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he couldn’t believe you were on your knees in front of him with his cock in your mouth.

You continued bobbing your head up and down his erection, quickly reaching your other hand up and cupping his sack in your hand, rolling gently. He lets out a noise that sounds like half-groan and half-whimper. You’re drenched at this point and aching. You moan softly as you clench your thighs together, seeking to alleviate the pressure. It wasn’t much of a relief, but it would do for now. You’d probably have to touch yourself later.

Rick’s hands grasp in your hair and he moans from the vibrations of your soft moans. He slowly starts guiding your head up and down his cock, going deeper with every stroke. His moans get louder and he pushes your head down, his cock hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.

“Oh fuck!” He exclaims at the sensation of your throat swallowing around his length. He holds you there for a moment and your eyes water before he lets you back up. You catch your breath for a second, still stroking him before putting him back in your mouth. Grabbing his hand, you place it back on your head and look up at his face. A grin crosses his lips at your actions and he continues to push your head up and down his cock.

“You like that, Y/N? Huh? You like it when I fuck your mouth?” He asks and you moan, nodding.

“Goddamn girl,” He moans as you continue your motions for a few seconds before he pulls you off his cock. You sit back on your legs and look up at him, pouting at the loss.

“I know you said this would be all about me, but I have to fuck you. Is that okay with you?” He says and you nod eagerly before he reaches down and pulls you upwards before crashing his lips to yours. You moan into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself tight against the hard planes of his toned chest. This all felt like a dream to you, one like all the others you’d had where you woke up aroused and disappointed.

He breaks the kiss and pulls your shirt over your head before unhooking your bra and leaving them both scattered carelessly on the floor. You assist him by unbuttoning your jeans and pushing them off your legs, leaving you only in your little black panties. Rick’s eyes rake over your body hungrily and you shiver in anticipation of what’s to come. He pushes you backward and the back of your knees hit the bed. You sit in front of him and pull yourself up higher on the bed, lying down on your back. He kicks his jeans the rest of the way off and climbs on the bed.

Kneeling, he hooks his fingers under the sides of your panties and pulls them down your legs before throwing them over his shoulders. Rick’s hands rest on your bent knees, pulling them apart before moving closer to your pussy.

“I want you to fuck me, Rick. Please.” You interrupt and he looks up at you and moves up the length of your body before kissing you harshly, settling his hips between your thighs. His erection lays heavy against your inner thigh.

“You ready, Y/N?” He asks, lining himself up with your entrance. You nod enthusiastically before letting out a harsh cry as he slowly enters you, just the tip at first before pushing the rest of his impressive length inside you.

“Oh my god Rick!” You whimper as he immediately begins moving. His hand grasps under your knee, pulling upward until your leg is resting on his shoulder. The change in angle allows him to thrust deeper. He’s making you feel sensations you’d never thought were possible.

“You’re so tight, Y/N. Fuck, your pussy is so good.” He whispers huskily as his eyes watch your breasts bounce with every thrust. It was better than anything he could have conjured in his mind. A particularly deep thrust makes you cry out harshly as the tip of his cock brushes over a bundle of nerves inside of you.

“Oh my god, right there!” He listens and adjusts himself; making every thrust of his cock hit that spot inside you. Your eyes roll back at the sensation as you babble incoherently about how good he’s making you feel.

It doesn’t take long for you to approach your orgasm; you can feel a warming sensation developing within you as your walls slowly tighten.

“Oh Rick, you’re gonna make me come!” You scream and he moves his hand over your clit, brushing once, twice before you spasm in ecstasy.

“Oh…. my…. god Rick! You fuck me so good!” You cry as you feel your pussy gush all over his still thrusting cock.

“That’s it Y/N, come all over my cock. Squeeze me tight, baby.” He says as he fucks you through your high, his thrusts slowing a bit and deepening to prolong your orgasm. Slowly, you feel yourself winding down from your explosive high. You look up at him; his brow is furrowed as he tries to stave off his release. You run your hands up your body to your breasts, pinching your nipples to entice him.

“I want you to come inside me. Pound me full of your cum Rick!” You cry and he moans at your words, his thrusts increasing in speed.

“Oh fuck!” He cries in ecstasy as he gets closer and closer.

“Come on Rick, give it to me.” You plead huskily as you purposefully tighten your walls around his erection. He lets out a long moan and you feel the gush of his release inside you.

“Mmmmm, there it is.” You whimper as he thrusts through his orgasm before leaning over you, taking your lips with his. He withdraws his rapidly softening cock from inside your walls and moves over onto his back, closing his eyes. You stay still, unsure of what to do with yourself. Should you get up and leave? Stay? You both agreed this was a one-time thing, but his arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you close to him breaks you out of your anxious thoughts.

“I don’t care what anyone says, I’m never fucking letting you go.” You smile at his words and lay your head on his chest. He presses a kiss on the top of your head and you close your eyes in contentment.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to send in more requests!