#okay so i scheduled this for usual time today but tumblr ate it???

[magistralucis]

i hope you had a merry christmas mr sidney seagull ( @absolut--kurant 💫)

[random-mha-thoughts]

Clingy (Alternate Ver.) (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: A soft, clingy Todoroki just wants your love and attention.

Word count: 1,382

Tags: @yuki-osaki @cyanide9602 @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: Basically a more fluffy redo of Clingy, this is more the mood for how I wanted it to turn out, but the former one came out a bit spicy, so here’s the fluffy version this almost went spicy again because Love Talk was playing fignoigboig had to switch it REAL QUICK

I’m also really quickly approaching my 100th post and idk what to do about it??  And I still need to do an event for 2k (well, I can push it off to 2.5k since that’s coming soon too...) ahhh I can’t Tumblr 😔

There's nothing more adorable than a clingy, needy Todoroki, I've come to realize.

A sweet start to my morning was Todoroki's head leaning against the door frame, the most affectionately soft smile gracing his handsome features.  He was holding a paper bag in his hands, which he held out to me as soon as I opened the door.  "Good morning, love.  I brought you breakfast."

I took the bag from him, peaking inside only to see my favorite breakfast sandwich from the convenience store awaiting me.  "Wait, you woke up earlier just to get me breakfast?"

"Mhm, just for you."  Unbothered by me about to protest, he kissed my forehead to cut me short.  "I thought it would make you happy since you're not a morning person."

As I ate my sandwich on our short walk from the dorms to the academic building, his arm remained planted around me, anchored right around my waist.  Normally, he isn't the type to show excessive public displays of affection, but I didn't mind it.  For his troubles, I wordlessly offered a bite of my sandwich to him, to which he graciously accepted before pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek in thanks.

He's in an awfully good mood today, I thought to myself.  I could get used to this side of him.  I placed my hand on his around me and snuggled against him.

Once we reached the classroom, he followed me straight to my desk, pulling the chair next to me just to continue nuzzling me, almost falling asleep while playing with my hands in his.  Even as Kaminari teased him from across the room for being whipped, he ignored the boy and laid another feathery kiss over my knuckles.

"There's nothing wrong with being whipped when you just want to shower love on your darling," he mumbled cheekily just for us to hear.

"But there's such a thing as too much public affection, Todo."  I stroked his cheek.  "Besides, Aizawa's gonna be here soon, and you've displaced Mina for long enough."

"I'm totally fine with that!"  The pink-haired girl called from across the room with Asui and Hagakure.  "You guys have as much time together as you want~!"

"Seems I have her blessing," my boyfriend replied with a teasing smile, his face inching towards mine.

My heart skipped a beat.  "We can do this later when we're alone."  I reached my hand up to block his oncoming love-attack.  Now, this level of affection was turning strange.

His puckered lips turned deflated into a small - albeit, adorable - pout.  "Fine."  But something tells me he's not going to be satisfied wait that long.

At that moment, Aizawa walked in and Todoroki returned to his seat, but not before sneaking another quick peck on top of my head, his warm touch lingering on me for as long as he could before finally being out of distance.  I didn't even have to turn to see Ashido smirking at me, my cheeks and ears heating up at the embarrassment that everyone must have seen.  Aizawa's tired gaze even flickered between us, causing me to bury my head in my book.

During break, Todoroki's intense appetite for skinship and affection wasn't quelled.  I felt his eyes boring into the back of my head for the entirety of class, and I know he wasn't going to give up at all.  He was keen on getting what he wanted in any way he can.

Before going to lunch, I had stopped to talk with Ashido and Kirishima outside the classroom.  Todoroki had silently slid himself behind me, patiently waiting for us to finish our conversation so we can have lunch together as per our usual routine.  Slowly, he started migrating closer and closer to my body, wrapping one arm around me first.

"Can we go now?" he whispered in my ear.  "I'm hungry."

"You don't have to wait for me, go with Midoriya for now," I replied.

He breathed out an annoyed sigh, the cool air tickling the side of my neck.  "You aren't talking about anything special.  Besides, I'm still waiting for that kiss you promised me."

My face immediately turned hot again despite keeping my expression as neutral as it was before.

"Uh, Y/n, you okay there?" Kirishima perked up once he sensed my discomfort.

"Y-Yeah, totally fine-"

"Todoroki must be needing something," Ashido giggled, obviously knowing what was going on.  "You can worry about the tutoring stuff some other time, we can work out the schedule details some other time."

"No, it's fine we can work it out now!" I spoke a little too quickly to be natural, since my boyfriend fully captured me, his colder arm joining the other, and rested his head squarely on my shoulder.

"You seem to have a more pressing matter," Kiri chuckled.

“Just kiss me already,” Todoroki whispered in my ear. “Please?  I've been waiting patiently."

My body shivered at his bold request.  He must be that desperate.  “Fine, I’ll talk to you guys later, I need to take care of this.”

At my surrender, Todoroki towed my body backwards, away from the cafeteria back into our classroom.

Mina whistled shamelessly, “Yeah, we know, go take care of your man!”

Ahh, it's not like that! I wanted to scream, but my impatient boyfriend kicked the door closed.

I turned around to stare at him head on.  "You are super needy today."  I only had the heart to be half serious, ending up chuckling halfway through.

Todoroki was pleased with himself, puckering his lips as he gently cradles my head in his palms, anticipating his long-awaited reward.  How can I say no to that?

I closed the distance with a quick, tender kiss, but as soon as we parted for a moment, he pulls me back in, stealing my lips in more gentle caresses.  His gentle but powerful love obvious in his kisses, never ceasing to move my heart and body towards him.

I smiled against his lips, entwining my fingers in his hand cupping my cheek.  "You were really yearning for that kiss, weren't you?"

“I wanted to be alone with you even before that.”  His breathtaking smile played on his lips again before he moved towards his desk, tugging me by our entwined hands.  "I wanted to have lunch together, just us."  He pulled out two sets of bento lunches.  "My mom instructed me how to make bento went I visited her over the weekend."

I pulled the chair in front of his place towards his desk so I could sit across from him.  "Really?  I can't wait to try it."

"It's not much, but I wanted to make you lunch since you're my special person."  He pecked my nose and set one wrapped bento on my side.

"You're always spoiling me, getting me breakfast and now this?"  I untied the knot on the furoshiki and lifted the lid on the box.  "Todoroki!" I cooed.  Two small onigiri with seaweed smiley faces stared back up at me on one side of the box.  The other side had a tamagoyaki arranged in the shape of a heart wrapped in lettuce, some cherry tomatoes, and marinated pieces of meat wrapped in another lettuce leaf.  "This is so cute!"

He chuckled at me.  "Well, my mother did say to eat first with your eyes before your mouth."

Taste I did, and everything was delicious.  My stomach was happy with how spoiled I was.  Our lunch was spent feeding each other while I admired my boyfriend's chewing faces.  Something about his cheeks being satisfyingly full filled my own heart with tenderness.  "You must've been anxious waiting for lunch the entire morning."

He wiped the corner of my mouth with his thumb.  "I woke up extra early, a little early actually, so I had time to pick up breakfast as well.  Did you enjoy it?"

I patted my belly.  "I'm always happy with food, but it's especially good when it's made by you, Todo."  I leaned forward in my seat.  "I'd like to give my compliments to the chef."

His mismatched eyes danced in glee, eagerly waiting for his payment.  I pressed a kiss to both his cheeks and one on his nose.  "For my precious boy."

"I'll be sure to do this more often if my reward is kisses."  He continued finishing his last few bites with his soft, accomplished smile.

If this is what a clingy Todoroki has in store for me, then I would gladly put up with his needy behavior for these treasured moments.

[likelightningafterthethunder]

Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter Two: Reprieve

Fic Summary:

His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.

It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.

As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.

–

Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.

He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.

Rating: T

Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma

Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence

Read on Ao3 (links to corresponding chapter) or read below

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Fic navigation to read the fic on tumblr

–

Katsuki wasn’t surprised to see one of his former classmates’ face on the news report with the tagline “found dead after hero-villain fight.” 

The reporter gave a rundown of the fight that had happened a few days earlier on the other side of the city, between a small gang of villains and Ochako. The villains themselves weren’t very high ranking― potential to be B-rank if they were more organized as a group, but C-rank individually― but they had managed to cause a decent amount of damage before Ochako had arrived on the scene. The news replayed the footage taken live from the battle, showing Ochako using her quirk on larger pieces of rumble to assist the lower ranked heroes in the area with evacuation as she charged forward towards the villain group herself. 

The footage wasn’t ideal. It was grainy from trying to capture the scene just outside of the limits of its scope and if it weren’t for the pink of Ochako’s hero costume, Katsuki was certain the camera person would not have been able to keep the camera centered on her. The footage continued until Ochako grabbed one of the villains, freezing seconds after the villain began to float. A red circle appeared around the villain’s face along with a mugshot before cutting back to the reporter.

In the aftermath of the fight, that one villain was never found. 

Ochako had been frantic when they had met up after, her gaze thousands of miles in the distance every time Katsuki looked. She denied anything being on her mind despite it being so blatantly obvious that something was, but Katsuki chose not to question it. After all, if she had wanted to talk about it, she wouldn’t have asked to meet him.

The report continued to explain the search procedures that had taken place over the past few days before describing a call on the tip hotline that ultimately resulted in the discovery of the villain’s body. While they didn’t show a photo of the body, Katsuki couldn’t help but wonder just how bad it was for the report to completely skip over the cause of death.

In the end, Katsuki supposed it didn’t matter what caused the villain’s death. Ochako was certain to end up finding a way to blame herself, for not paying better attention during the fight, for not trying hard enough to find the villain after, for being the last person who saw the villain alive. 

Even if she didn’t, there were parts of society that would make sure she would never forget.

Cheeky: can you meet up with me today?

Katsuki: Takeshi’s?

Cheeky: yeah

Cheeky: drinks/dinner on me after if you want

Katsuki: I’ll be there at five. Don’t be late.

Cheeky: got it!

Cheeky: hey wait why are YOU telling ME not to be late when I’M the one who asked YOU to meet me

Katsuki: You know why.

Cheeky: it was ONE TIME KATSUKI ONE TIME

Katsuki was at Takeshi’s gym a quarter before five, reserving their usual space and changing into workout attire before sending Ochako a text to let her know he was already inside. He started his stretches, looking up only when he saw a pair of pink sneakers approach the ring.

“You’re late,” Katsuki said, continuing his stretches. 

“By five minutes!” Ochako dumped her water and towel on the bench next to Katsuki’s, quickly joining him in the stretches. “I was outside before five, waiting for you!”

“I sent you a text saying I was inside.”

“Yeah, like two minutes before five!” She huffed. “I was totally on time.”

“Whatever. Hurry the fuck up.”

They continued preparing in silence, speaking again only to confirm that the other was ready to start. This time, only a couple of the guests flinched when Katsuki charged forward at Ochako yelling out “die!”

After the fifth time a hit landed that Ochako would have normally been able to block with ease, Katsuki stood down. Her form had been lacking for the better part of the past hour, and there were a few times that her blows hadn’t hit with the full force Katsuki was familiar with. She didn’t even react to Katsuki’s change in form until Katsuki had walked over to the bench for his water.

“Wh― hey! What gives?” She frowned but joined him for a water break when he didn’t return to the ring right away.

“Don’t insult me,” Katsuki rolled his eyes at the shock on her face, “You’re distracted. What kind of fucking spar is worth the time when your opponent isn’t giving their all?”

“I’m focused on the spar! I’m totally and completely here! I wasn’t insulting you but I am now, you’re just saying that because of your enormous ego,” 

Katsuki paused, looking at her directly in her eyes. She didn’t flinch.

But the longer he held his gaze, the more Katsuki could tell that she was holding back.

“First,” He began, “Don’t be cheeky with me―”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be so cheeky with you if you didn’t call me cheeky all the time!”

Katsuki held back an amused smile.

“Second,” He continued, “I hit you five different times in ways that you should have been able to block with your eyes closed.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment, because what I’m hearing is that you think I could fight you with my eyes closed.”

“Insult. You didn’t fucking block the hits, dumbass.”

Ochako huffed, crossing her arms. “Whatever. I’m going to focus on the compliment part of it.”

“Third, you didn’t even notice I walked away until after I reached the bench.”

“I― I was expecting you to come back! That it was some sort of trick to get me to lower my guard or something!”

“And fourth, you speak faster when you lie.” He let Ochako stammer for a while in response, continuing when her shoulders slumped with a heavy sigh. “You sure this is the break you need? I don’t mind wiping the fucking floor with you if that’s what you want but you better respect my time back and fucking fight me with your all,” He shifted his weight a bit before adding hesitantly, “I can try to listen if you want to talk instead but that’s not really my thing,”

Ochako didn’t answer immediately, instead taking a drink of her water. Katsuki waited as patiently as he could, although he did offer her a glare to try to speed up her thought process. 

She put her water back down and hit her knuckles together, briefly reminding Katsuki of Eijirou. “Okay! One more round. I need to redeem myself before we leave for drinks,”

Katsuki grinned, shoving her lightly with his shoulder as he walked back towards the ring. “Whatever you say, Cheeky. You’re still going to fucking lose.”

“I’ll make you eat your words, Katsuki!”

She did not, but not for lack of trying. Ochako actually paid full attention to the spar after the interruption and while Katsuki still had the upper hand on brute strength, she was nimbler and lighter on her feet. Katsuki was fairly certain that had the shift manager not interrupted to tell them that their time was up that Ochako was only a handful of moves away from finding some “barely legal in a spar between friends but completely legal in a rules free battle against a villain” opening and winning the round. While technically neither of them had won, he did agree—after some teasing and pestering— to counting it as her point in their ongoing scoreboard, adding, “But if you want me to count it as eating my words, you’ll have to fucking try again.”

Ochako seemed to be in a brighter mood when they met up again post-changing in front of Takeshi’s. She bumped shoulders with Katsuki as he approached and began chattering about work and her day as they made their way over to the restaurant they usually ate at after sparring sessions. He didn’t offer much other than the occasional “yeah” and swear when her story necessitated it, but she didn’t seem to mind. She spared him from talking until after they were already seated and ordered their food and drinks. 

“Oh yeah! I heard from Tenya that you finally sent in your response to the reunion! Do you know when you’re heading down to Musutafu yet? We should get on the same train so that the ride isn’t as boring— well, kinda, since you’ll probably not be talking,”

“Shut the fuck up, I can talk when I want to,” Katsuki scowled, rolling his eyes when all it resulted in was a laugh from Ochako. “I haven’t looked at the train schedule yet. The Shitty Four Eyes approved for both the 28th and 29th off though.”

“Nice! Well, when you figure out when you want to head down, let me know and I’ll be your Anti-Explosion Time buddy for the ride down,” 

“Oh fuck off.”

Ochako laughed again. Katsuki hoped this would be the extent of the reunion talk but she continued, “It’ll be great to see the entire class again, don’t you think?”

“You make it sound like we never fucking see anyone. I literally saw you a few fucking days ago and you spend half your weekends with Frog Face or Four Eyes or the fucking Nerd or whoever the fuck,” Katsuki pointed out. “We see basically everyone at the Billboards too,”

“Don’t be such a bore, Katsuki. Reunions are different from the Billboards. We don’t have to deal with those ‘damn extras’ at the reunion,” She put on her best Katsuki impression at “damn extras,” extending her palms outwards and adding a playful “Boom! Pow!” 

“I don’t fucking sound like that.”

“Yes you do. I’m the great Katsuki Bakugou! Die you fucking piece of shit! Boom! Bam! You fucking extra! Bow before the king! Boomboom!”

Katsuki let the faintest hint of a smile slip. “I have never said ‘bow before the king,’”

“Oh come on Katsuki, you tried to name yourself King Explosion Murder, don’t deny it. Even if you’ve never said it, you’ve definitely thought about it.”

He scowled, muttering a “fuck off”, refusing to acknowledge that yes, yes he had thought about saying it once or twice.

“So you admit that I’m right!”

“Fuck off, I said no such fucking thing.”

“You didn’t say ‘no’ either though.”

“I’m demoting you to a fucking extra, you shitty fucking extra.”

Katsuki was given a brief break from any potential cheeky response from Ochako when the server stepped in with their drinks. They raised their glasses, a silent toast to making it another day alive, to making it as far as they had come, to their friendship.

To the silent understanding that there were some struggles that were best left unshared.

He didn’t press further about whatever it was that was stressing her out, even if he had a strong feeling about what caused it. She didn’t comment on the circles under his eyes or how his mind seemed to wander after she brought up certain high school memories. They talked, ignoring their stressors, and for a while, they could pretend everything was fine.

[skysterriblescribbles]

Part 1

The only reason Denki got out of his school-issued bed this morning was thanks to the ever-handy alarm vibrating itself off of his bedside table and onto the floor, making itself out of reach.

He shivered when his foot hit the cold wooden floor, making him even colder. The blond picked up his phone and glanced at the time.

3:00 am

Perfect.

Denki stretched his arms up arching his back. Satisfied with now awake muscles, he headed to his bathroom.

He showered and brushed his teeth. His blond hair was now held back by some clips. Gone were his pajamas, replaced by an old t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and some shorts.

If you asked anybody in his class, they would say that his room is probably not cleaned, that it would be the epitome of a teenaged boys living space.

But that isn't the case with Kaminari. He like to keep everything nice and organized. Shelves for his books, yes he reads, more than you would think, fairy lights were pinned against the walls, just below the ceiling.

He likes order and the peace that comes with it.

Denki started his routine, a deep stretch to start off the day, first warmup the arms, the the legs and after his stretching finished it was 4:30.

He opened the door to his dorm room slowly, like normal. He would never forgive himself if he woke up a classmate at these ungodly hours of the morning.

He wandered down the hall and entered the stairwell.

Never skip leg day, he thought to himself, bouncing down the steps.

On the usual days, the common room and kitchen are empty. Sometimes the occasional Tokoyami or the resident embodiment of IcyHot. Or the insomniacs that spend all night in the common space, mainly Midoriya or Shinsou. He had always managed to slip by his classmates unnoticed.

But today it was just him by his lonesome. The large space was dark, the only light source was from the light pole outside.

Denki strolled over to the kitchen area. Today they had hero training which allowed him a small breakfast. He settled on a boiled egg. 90 cal, leaving 110 for dinner. He didn't eat lunch.

He ate in small bites, taking too long to chew each piece. Finishing his meal, Denki headed to the door, grabbing his running shoes and putting them on before leaving the building.

Things were hard the first few weeks of living here. He had to readjust his schedule to fit within the curfew the school enforced.

He couldn't leave any earlier 5 in the morning and 11 at night. It threw his running off for a while, him being used to midnight runs to burn off the stubborn fat that seemed to pile up in his thighs and stomach.

His run lasted 30 minutes, like always and he slipped back into the dorms. This time the commons was occupied by another, Iida Tenya.

He usually was back in his room before anyone else began their morning exercise, so Denki walked quietly, trying to avoid confrontation with the boy.

But like everything else in his life, he failed.

"K-kaminari! You frightened me. What are you doing this early?"

He froze. So far he's been able to keep up his "I'm lazy and never put effort into anything" facade. It's made it so much easier to keep attention off himself.

Think Denki.

He looked over at the class president and smiled, "Oh hey class prez! I was takin some pics of the sun rise for my insta! It's hella pretty, you should check it out." He said with a cheery voice then waved at the boy and left as fast as he could.

I hate talking to people, he thought.

Once back in the safety of his room he fetched a fresh school uniform and jumped in the shower, taking extra time to scrub his skin raw.

Now 6:45, he had an hour until he had to head to class.

He finished his homework from the night before, then plopped down on his bed and spent the remained of his morning scrolling through his tumblr feed, rebloging some thinspo he liked and some workout routines.

At 7:55 he left his room, knowing he was going to be late. But he doesn't care. He never paid any attention in class anyway.

Denki walked alone to class, and entered a few minutes after the bell rang.

Everyone paused and looked at him, today is so not going to be good.

With a blank stare he looked at his homeroom teacher. "Sorry Aizawa-sensei, I didn't wake up on time." And lazily walked to his desk and sat down.

Fuck. I shouldn't of eaten breakfast.

--------

The day passes by without any other hiccups, so when the bell rang signaling that lunch had started, Denki felt a little better than he had earlier.

Kirishima walk up to the blonde like normal.

"Hey Kami, you ready to head out? Mina's gonna go with Bakugo to review for the quiz next period." He smiled at the boy and scratched his neck.

"Dude I totally forgot about that. Ugh I'll just wing it, ya know?" He flashed a brighter, faker, smile at the red head.

And with that the two boys left the room and made their way to the cafeteria. Denki walked to their table and saw Sero already seated and eating.

Denki sat in front of him and took his phone out, opening tumblr and scrolled through his dashboard.

After a few days minutes, Kirishima joined them with his lunch. Today was American style food, and Kirishima got a hamburger with fries.

Denki's mouth watered at the sight of the food until the smell hit him, making his stomach growl loud, but still quiet enough to be hidden by the noise of the room.

He grabbed his water bottle out of his bag and chugged the whole thing.

"Damn Kami, thirsty much?" Kirishima laughed at the boy. But Denki was to distracted by the rumble inside him. The want, the need to eat.

He opened the Google app on his phone and searched for calories in a hamburger.

354 calories, 154 over my limit.

Your fucking disgusting, Kaminari. You don't deserve that many calories. Such a waste.

Denki could feel this breath picking up. His surroundings blurred and his focus was on one thing.

Shit, why did I eat this morning? He thought. He looked at his wrists, they were so small and fragile in his uniform. He reached his hand to his collarbone and dragged his hand along the protruding bone. It felt so good.

But never good enough.

He thought that if he were to touch his thighs, he'd puke. So he settled for just looking.

"Kami.."

He saw how much space they took up.

Repulsive.

"Kaminari!"

He saw how they touched when he sat down.

How disgusting.

He jumped when a hand was put on his shoulder. He looked at the appendage with shakey eyes. Kirishima.

"Hey bro are you okay? I've been calling your name for a while. You look pale, are you sick?" Denki saw. The furrowed brows, the worry in his eyes, the hesitation in his voice.

Denki stood up. And gathered his stuff.

"Tell sensei I don't feel good, I'm going to my room." The blonde said, then he ran out of the seeming even louder room.

He ran down the stairs to the first floor, breath wild, tunnel vision setting in. He ran past Bakugo and Mina, who finished their tutoring.

He reached the dorms and kicked his shoes off, not bothering to put them in their spot properly.

He didn't even remember the trip up to his room, doesn't remember locking the door behind him. He doesn't know how he ended up emptying his already empty stomach in the toilet.

He just remember the egg.

------

That's how the boy found himself a few hours later, passed out on the bathroom floor, the smell of bile still hanging in the air.

He got up of the floor and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was out of place from sleeping, but the bags under his eyes would speak for the quality of his rest.

He exited the bathroom and groggily walked into his dark room. He fetched his phone from his school bag and checked the time.

3:50 PM

That meant his classmates were done with classes and heading to the building, since hero training always ran late.

Speaking of training since he wasn't in class and couldn't participate, Denki still needed to burn off the calories from this morning.

It had been a while since he had worked out on his own, since hero class satisfied most of his exercise cravings. He scrambled through his desk got a bit before he found the paper.

There were 3 levels of routine he had written. The first was a light workout, the second was his previous daily one and the third was a super intense routine.

He decided on the latter.

He stretched for a warm up and began his workout.

Arms, abs, and legs he all work, pushing his body to the max and then some.

You need to work harder. You lazy piece of shit.

He drank more water, getting ready to repeat the list again when he heard a knock at his door.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone." Denki thought. But the knocking persisted. He wiped his mouth and tried to collect his breathing.

He opened the door to the class president.

"Kaminari! I hope you are feeling better, Kirishima told us you felt ill? Please do take better care of yourself." The boy spouted.

He was too tired to be happy. How could he get through this?

"I'm sorry, Iida. I just need some rest and I'll be better." Denki said with blank eyes. He motioned to close the door but was stopped.

"You should talk to Kirishima, he's really worried about you." Iida adds. And with that the blue haired boy left.

Denki closed the door and returned to his exercise. Yeah right. Like someone as cool as Kirishima would worry about him.

------

When 6 rolled around, Denki ignored his phone when it lit up, indicating a new notification.

He knew it was the class group chat telling everyone that dinner was ready and that everyone should head to the commons.

Instead, the blond changed into a pair of loose sweatpants, which at this point everything was baggy on him and switched off all his lights.

Might as well go to sleep early, not like anyone needs me.

----

Something was wrong with Kaminari Denki.

Or that's what Kirishima had come to conclude.

These last few weeks of living in the dorms he had noticed a difference in his friend, but couldn't quite figure it out yet.

At first, he chalked it up to living in a new space, with 19 new neighbors. Everyone was a little apprehensive at first. But everyone had gotten used to the changes throughout the first 2 weeks.

But what happened during lunch was new. It was as if Kaminari was a different person.

But the thing Kirishima hated the most was the expression on his friends face.

He looked so...

Empty.

Something is wrong with his best friend and he'll figure it out.

The question is whether he makes it in time.

---------

I cant. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

Fuck.

His mouth tasted like old medicine and his stomach felt heavy. Already were tears bubbling in his eyes, threatening to break the tension and pour hot tears down his face.

Immediately he made way to the bathroom, delivering dry heaves into the toilet.

His limbs pinned him to the floor, like weights. His mind was too clouded to think or move. The only thing he could register before passing out was the tears spilling down his cheeks and rolled down his face with gravity.

------

The first thing he remembered when he woke up was that there was classes today.

Denki forces himself off the floor and back into his bedroom, a quick glance at his clock telling him it was well into the day, morning classes would be over soon.

"Fuck it I'll go to the afternoon classes then." He mutters. He throws on his uniform, reaching for his phone only to see the thing is dead.

Denki decided to just leave the phone and heads out.

He gets to the main building when the lunch bell rings, allowing hungry students to flood the halls. The blond waits outside for a bit to let the hallways clear out before starting his trip to the 1-A classroom.

Pleased to find the room empty, he takes his seat and decides to sleep until lunch was over.

In the quiet of the room, you could hear grumbling, a plea.

It's okay, he's not hungry.

---------

[regalmadness]

50 questions you've never been asked

Tagged by @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie thanks love!

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?

Pink

2. A food you never eat

There is something in my country called Auyama... yup that just

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold

Too cold, like I be cuddling and people will get scared that im as cold as ice and so to ease their worries I just burry my hands and feet into their coat or clothes 🤣

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Studying

5. What is your favourite candy bar?

The ring pop. I love it! It brings back memories. Either that or any white chocolate.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes I once had the oportunity to go to a basketball match between the Miami Heat and the Rockets

7. What is the last thing you said outloud?

Take your time its fine, I'll wait

8. What is your favourite icecream?

Bubblegum

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. Do you like your wallet?

Well it keeps my money safe and its got a cool design I guess

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Carrots

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

🤣🤣🤣🤣 living out of my pj collection lately

13. Last sporting event you watched?

The superball (Go 9ners!)

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

Butter ir cheese

15. Who is the last person you sent a text?

My best friend

16. Ever go camping?

Never have, but Im game all the way!

17. Do you take vitamins?

In case this is ever leaked outside of tumblr and out of the internet I just wanna say from the bottom of my truthfull heart... Mom if you are reading this, yes I am definitelly taking my vitamins every single day without fail. I definitely dont forget and take them daily and not just sometimes.

18. Do you go to church every sunday?

Not every sunday but whenever I can sure

19. Do you have a tan?

In this economy?

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

Pizza pizza pizza pizzaaaa

21. Do you drink your soda with straw?

I dont have an issue drinking it either with or without a straw but I prefer without since you know *Poison Ivy's voice* gotta do enviroment

22. What colour socks do you usually wear?

Bold of you to assume I only use 1 pair of the same colour and not go all harley quinn on my feet.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

When its an urgency type of thing. (Always being caferul) *Insert panic voices in the backround, followed by the 'but did you die' meme* Otherwise I drive as fast as the speed limit lets me.

24. What terrifies you?

Well they dont terrify me but like big bugs are a HUGE NO from me (if it has wings make it an ULTRA NO)

25. Look to your left what do you see?

These handsome boys

26. What chore do you hate?

Cleaning the bathroom

27. What do you think of when you hear an ausie accent?

HOT!

28. Whats your favourite soda?

Its a Colombian brand its called cola y pola

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Depends on the mood of the day

30. Whos the last person you talked to?

My best friend

31. Favourite cut of beef?

I like beef I dont have a preference as long as it tastes good

32. Last song you listened to?

Westworld theme (lmao Im just learning piano so I kinda wanna learn how to play it... not because Im still NOT okay with what happened and want to remember Dolores anyway I can, nope Im totally fine with that, Im handling it like a normal grown adult, Im A OK)

33. Last book you read?

Oh wow. Uhhh I think it was a greek mythology one, cant remember the name 😭 its been so long since I've read anything other than the 1000 manuals and documents for work

34. Favourite day of the week?

Kinda varies from season to season, it depends on which tv shows are airing and their schedulle. It used to be sunday bc westworld but now *sighs*

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can do it midly fast in spanish but in english? 🤣 Im like (how do you sing the song backwards again?)

36. How do you like your coffee?

Sweet! And I prefer Ice coffee to regular.

37. Favourite pair of shoes?

Captain marvel addidas sneakers

38. At what time do you normally go to bed?

That depends, are you refering to actually sleaping? Or at what time I tuck in and either spend till sunrise scrolling through this godforsaken website looking at memes or remembering all the emabasing moments of my life in movie secuence in my brain

39. At what time do you normally get up?

8-9am

40. What do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

I know sometimes bitches be sleeping under 3 blankets, 4 pairs of pillows and butt ass naked because you know life. But you know... its me im bitches.

42. Describe your kitchen plates

Round and white

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

Absolutely love cocktails! Anything with blue curaçao or tequila in it Im asfkkshsk! And if I had to choose a plain? Tequila for sure.

44. Do you play cards?

I do like card games and sometimes we play went we get together (family) but im not really good at it I just have fun lol

45. What colour is your car?

Dont currently own one. But my sub card is green if that counts

46. Can you change a tire?

Im a lesbian

47. What is your favourite providence?

Theres a city at the north east of the country called Bucaramanga. Its really nice the weather the people everything!

48. Favourite job you've ever had?

That would be my current job. Flying is my life! (I miss it so much 😞)

49. How did you get your biggest scar?

Long story short my mother was fixing some metal stuff and told me not to come into the house running (I was 5) so ofc I listen to the very wise advise my dear moma gave me and definitely didnt run, hence I definitely dont have a scar on my left cheek (its very tiny now)

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy

Gave my mom a letter and a beautiful everlasting rose.

Thank you, this was fun!

Tagging: @fandommember @dino-hoodie @mccdimples @hipesque @duranza @awhitefairytale @dfincher @giffing

[baepsaets]

eight’s a crowd pt. 4 ~ bts

pairing: ot7 x reader

rating: sfw

word count: 6.6k

summary: you’re a bighit staff member in charge of stage set-up when you find yourself inexplicably drawn to the very seven men you’re setting stage for. soulmate au!

a/n: everyone... my beautiful followers... i’m so sorry it took me so long to post this! there will be one final part after this that will include smut. also i went to see aquaman tonight and it was so good. having jason momoa and amber heard kicking ass in the same movie made my little bi heart quiver lmao. also i want mommy nicole kidman to spank me with a trident. enjoy this update and i hope everyone has been having happy holidays!

disclaimer: i always put a read more in my fanfiction, but it does not always work on tumblr mobile. this fic has a read more already in place.

part 01 02 03 04 05

You were adjusting the sounding system in the pit when you felt a sudden weight on your back. You startled and turned around and found yourself pressed against Jae, who coddled you like a baby. He smelled like cologne and alcohol and something mechanical, vaguely oily and coppery.

“(Y/N),” he groaned, drawing your name out into one long sigh. If you weren’t so caught off-guard, you would have laughed. “We’re leaving early today!”

He was leaving early today. It was the last concert before the unimaginable—a month-long break. Set-up crew got to leave a whole half-day early, leaving mid-crew to pick up a little of their slack. But you knew they deserved it, especially since they’d been short-handed after you left.

It was hard to imagine that it had been a whole month since you’d switched to mid-crew, and even longer since you’d met Bangtan. Sometimes, it didn’t feel real. You missed your old set-up crewmen, but it was hard to miss them too much when there were seven other people around to eagerly keep you company.

Jae’s bag was already slung over his shoulder, and you knew he was about to leave. Your break didn’t technically start until after the concert tonight, and true to mid-crew form, you’d be staying with Bangtan wherever they went. The thought filled you with unimaginable excitement—for a month, you’d get to be with them without having to worry about work or scheduling.

“Remember to teeeeeeeext,” Jae slurred, clutching you to his chest. You patted his shoulder awkwardly, face smushed into his clavicle. “You never teeeeeeext anymore.”

“I text you every day,” you complained, your voice muffled by his flannel.

“But it’s not enoooooough,” he moaned. He was probably already a little intoxicated—a few people in set-up crew had already broken out a bottle of vodka in celebration, and no doubt Jae had already indulged.

You asked, incredulous, “How much more do you want?”

“I don’t care. I miss you,” he admitted, and you cooed at his cuteness.

“I miss you, too,” you laughed, pulling away from him. “But you need to get on the bus before they leave without you.”

“They would never,” Jae scoffed, but you raised an eyebrow. Sungjin would. Oh, Sungjin so would. And you could tell in his gaze that he realized that, too. “Okay, okay. I’m leaving. But I love you! I’ll text! Don’t think just because you’re famous now that you can get rid of me!”

He said this all while walking backward, voice raising with every sentence. Some of your other mid-crewmen stared at you curiously, and you waved Jae away in embarrassment. Your good rapport as a hard-worker had carried to your new job, but you still didn’t know the rest of mid-crew well enough to be weird in front of them.

You weren’t famous by any definition of the term, but you’d garnered a certain amount of attention in the past month. It was impossible not to, considering at least one member of Bangtan was around you every day. It was easy to pass off some of it as work, but the rest of the crew had to at least suspect that your professional relationship with them went deeper. No one had said anything about it, at least not to your face, and you were grateful that at least a portion of the people you worked with knew how to mind their own business.

Working for another hour, you were finally setting up the last of the lighting equipment. You were usually the quickest crewmember to finish your work, simply because set-up crew had conditioned you so well. When you finished early, you either helped set up the rest of the venue or went to seek out Bangtan to see if they had any time to hang. Because their schedule was so packed, they usually didn’t, but it was still nice just to see them. Their faces would light up whenever they caught sight of you, even to this day.

You reached up to adjust the light, and a warm pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Electricity buzzed through your body immediately. “Hey, baby.”

“Oh, my God,” you exclaimed. “Why is everyone sneaking up on me today?”

“Not happy to see me?”

You turned your head and saw Jimin smiling, bottom lip tugged between his teeth. He fake-pouted, and you had to suppress the sudden desire to wrap him in a hug and never let him go.

“I’m always happy to see you,” you replied, before you could stop yourself. Your face flushed, but so did his, which was your favorite thing about him—at least you could make him blush, too.

Jimin pressed his cheek against the back of your neck hard, and then released you. You kept tinkering, despite the sudden distraction.

“I’m glad you’re here,” you said. “The sound system on the left side burnt out this morning. We were able to replace it, but the sound check before the concert is probably gonna start early.”

Jimin grunted in acknowledgement, and you continued talking, back still facing him.

“And you need to be careful. There’s a slick spot by the—,”

“Mhmm,” Jimin hummed. His voice was closer than you expected and you turned around, freezing when you realized he was right behind you. Jimin’s mouth curled into a small smile, and he reached out to tuck a hunk of escaped hair behind your ear. “You look good in that sweater.”

“Thank you,” you replied automatically, but your heart stuttered.

Out of all Bangtan, Jimin was the touchiest. He was the one who complimented you the most, voice edging on flirting. Whenever he smiled his teasing smile, your face would heat up hot enough to fry an egg on your forehead.

“Can we stop by your hotel room after the concert?”

He could have asked you to commit second-degree murder and you probably would have agreed to it, if he kept looking at you like that. “Yeah, s-sure. I mean, yes. If it’s okay with BangPD and everyone.”

“We already approved it,” he grinned, unconsciously leaning closer. You could feel the heat radiating off his body. To the outside world the two of you may have looked like a couple, but in the past month, you’d slowly learned how to let go of the world’s opinion. You didn’t care what they assumed about your relationship unless it negatively affected Bangtan’s career.

“Oh?” you asked, smiling your own teasing smile. “Were you that confident I’d agree?”

Jimin’s face flushed, and that was normal for him, too—always so flirty, until the teasing was turned on him. Then he became a shy mess. “Well, I mean—not that we knew you’d agree, but you usually—and then we, um—,”

You couldn’t help but smile at his cute stuttering, but then your smile faded, stamped down by the sudden guilt and confusion bubbling in your chest.

When you’d first started hanging out with Bangtan, dazzled and starstruck, you’d thought whatever silly crush you had on them would fade. After getting to know them, you’d thought you’d come to love them only platonically.

But your crush—or should you say, crushes—spiraled completely out of control. Bangtan had thoroughly swept you off your feet.

How could you have fallen for seven different men? Being alone with each of them, or several at a time, filled you with such a strong happiness that was only rivaled by how you felt when the eight of you were together. Then, the world felt clicked into place, like a weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying was lifted off your shoulders.

“I need to get back to work,” you told him, taking a step back. Distance. You needed to create some distance, no matter how much it hurt. “We can talk about it later, okay?”

“Okay,” Jimin replied, pouting. You resisted the urge to pull him to your chest and coo.

You moved to turn around, but before you could, Jimin dipped closer for a split second and pressed his lips against your cheek. Face flaming, you turned to him with mouth agape, but Jimin was already backing away toward the door, lips curled in a teasing smile.

After he left, you absent-mindedly rubbed your cheek, still feeling the tingling imprint of his mouth on your skin.

Ten minutes later, your phone buzzed in your pocket, signaling a text. It vibrated again. And then a third time. It must be the group chat you were in with Bangtan, which could get ridiculously active. You glanced around for your manager and snuck your phone out of your pocket, just when it started vibrating multiple times in a row.

Namjoon, 1:35pm: So, party in (Y/N)’s room tonight?

Hoseok, 1:36pm: SWEET i’ll give the staff money to go buy snacks

Jimin, 1:38: remember to ask for TWO boxes of popcorn because :/ someone :/ ate it all :/ last time

Yoongi, 1:39: quit being so shady and just @ jungkook already

Jungkook, 1:39: IT WAS

Jungkook, 1:39: LITERALLY JIN-HYUNG

Jungkook, 1:40: NOT ME

Jimin, 1:40: WHAT?

You chuckled and glanced around quickly, typing a quick message.

You, 1:42: I’ll message you guys when I’m done with cleaning the stage and then you can come over. I’m putting the group chat on silent tho bc I’m still at work.

Already, your message prompted several quick replies.

Hoseok, 1:42: (Y/N)! <3

Jin, 1:43: We will not be silenced!!!!!!!!

Jimin, 1:43: HYUNG U SAID JUNGKOOK ATE THE POPCORN U LIAR

Taehyung, 1:44: lmao OOPS

Taehyung, 1:44: caught in a liiiieeeeee~~~

*Jimin has removed Jin from the chat*

*Namjoon has added Jin to the chat*

Namjoon, 1:46: Quit removing people from the chat just because they piss you off

*Jimin has removed Namjoon from the chat*

Yoongi, 1:47: as expected

“(Y/N)!” your manager called, almost making you drop your phone. You looked up guiltily and were lucky to discover she wasn’t even looking at you—she was too busy trying to keep a stage light standing. “Could you come over here and help me fix this?”

Sighing in relief, you pocketed your phone and went to help your manager. You liked your manager a lot, but she still made you nervous. You made sure to stay on your best behavior when she was around.

You held the top of the light while she screwed it into place, and when she was finished, she beamed up at you. “Thank you! And I’m glad you’re here.” Her bright look turned apologetic, so you knew you were in for some serious shit. “I have a favor to ask.”

“What is it?” you asked, cautious.

“Ji-sung is out sick tonight,” she admitted. “We need another crewmember in the camera pit. I know you don’t like going near the crowd, but you have the most experience with the stage material and I’d think you’d be a huge help to them.”

The breath left your chest. “I don’t know, I really—,”

“I know it’s last minute,” she interrupted, “and I know it’s a little inconvenient, but you’re our best replacement. It would only be for tonight.”

Your teeth clinked together, nervous. You were not a crowd person, and the camera pit was right in front of it. They were the pit that was most at risk of being tramped or attacked.

But you really wanted to leave a good impression with your new manager.

“Yeah,” you said, slowly. “That’s fine, (Y/M/N). I’d be happy to help.”

“Oh, thank you!” she gushed. “I’ll tell the camera crew. Think of it as a blessing! It’s basically a front-row ticket.”

A front row ticket in front of a writhing mass of fanaticism. Really, you didn’t mind people. People were smart—until you put them in a crowd. Then they were a hazard.

“Call time is 6:15!” And with that she flounced away, far too happy to be at work. Your manager truthfully was a different creature.

You let out a deep breath and shook your head. “Goddamn it.”

You distracted yourself with idle work leading up to the concert. It felt like everything and nothing needed to be done. You already knew Bangtan was busy with sound check and weren’t available, but that didn’t stop your from peeking your head in every once in a while to listen to them.

All you had to do was make it through the concert, and then the eight of you could finally relax.

You weren’t present for sound check, like you usually were. Instead you were busy introducing yourself to the camera crew and modifying their equipment. By the time the venue finally allowed people to start filing in, you were called away to help with lighting while the camera crew set up in front of the stage, so you didn’t get a chance to even wave at Bangtan until just an hour before the concert.

Walking into the waiting area, Namjoon’s head shot up immediately, and his gaze found your own. You smiled, and then the rest of Bangtan was turning their head. Hoseok waved manically.

You dodged a few frantic crewmen still trying to finish setting up before the concert began. Taehyung was the first to hug you, nuzzling into the side of your neck. Jin rubbed his hand along your shoulder and you smiled at them gratefully.

“We missed you during sound check,” Yoongi said, slightly pouting in a way that he would deny to be pouting, except it definitely was.

You sighed. “I’m not doing sound check tonight.”

“You look upset,” Hoseok noticed, and once he’d said it, the entirety of Bangtan circled you in concern. It was overwhelming in a good way, a flattering way, and you liked it because you weren’t used to people trying to take care of you. Jin cupped your cheek in one hand, analyzing your face.

“I’m fine,” you assured them. “I’m just nervous. I’m replacing Ji-sung in the camera pit tonight and I’ll have to be in the crowd.”

Namjoon nodded his head in understanding. “It can be overwhelming.”

“You’re telling me,” you muttered. “I’m afraid I’m gonna get dragged backward and trampled, never to be seen again.”

Jeongguk laughed. “That won’t happen, don’t be nervous.”

“We’ll keep an eye out for you,” Jimin said, and you realized he was smirking. “You’ll be in the front row. It’s the best seat in the house.”

“We’ll perform well for you,” Taehyung added.

“When do you not?” you asked, and then backtracked. “Perform well, I mean—not like, perform well for me—uh—,”

Jin laughed at your flustered expression. “Just keep your eyes on us the entire time and you’ll survive.”

You were certain that doing just that would be what killed you.

The eight of you chatted for a bit more until it was time for you to leave. Hoseok must have noticed how nervous you looked, because he leaned close to you for a second and planted a second kiss on your cheek. You didn’t see it, but Bangtan eyed him jealously.

“It’ll be fine,” he chirped, and you smiled.

“I’ll see you after the concert,” you told them, and then made your way to the stage.

The venue was an arena, and it was huge. The camera pit was set up in a small section in front of the middle of the stage, to avoid blocking a majority of the crowd view. It was protected by thin guard railing and a hanging sign that would do nothing to deter someone who was really interested in bypassing it. The second you stepped by the crowd your hair stood on end, but you put on a brave face and approached the pit, speaking with the camera crew. There really wasn’t much for you to do except help them with emergencies and fill in where you could.

You couldn’t help but glance back at the crowd. They were getting antsy, and so were you. It was like their infectious energy was seeping into you. You barely resisted the urge to scream when the concert began, and the entire crowd went wild.

The energy Bangtan brought to the stage was insane. It was like the entire arena was cradled in the palm of their hand. It didn’t matter who you were—if you were a fan, an employee, a stranger on the street—in that moment, they owned you. There wasn’t a choice about it.

It was amazing because at that moment you weren’t their coworker, or a BigHit employee—you were just a fan at a concert, who’d somehow gotten a really, really good seat. Seeing them perform so closely to you made your heart stop.

And throughout the entire concert, Bangtan kept staring at you.

You knew, logically, that they weren’t staring at you—they were staring at the camera. But you couldn’t help but feel like they were staring at you, trying to catch your eyes with their dancing and obscene hip thrusting. You were barely able to resist the urge to cover your face whenever it happened, giving in a few times when you were just too flustered to look. The camera crew, who were used to such a display, laughed at your embarrassment.

Sometimes they would point in your direction, stick their tongue out—Jimin, boldest of the seven on stage, laid on his back and thrusted into the air not one foot away from the lip of the stage, directly in front of you.

Heat was coiled so deeply in your stomach, you were afraid you’d explode.

Near the end of the concert, you got a message from your manager over your headset—since you’d done her such a big favor, she was letting you leave after the concert was finished instead of staying to help clean afterward. You were intensely grateful, because you were sweating and flustered and really didn’t know how much more you could take. You bid the camera crew goodbye and made your way backstage once Bangtan exited, the screaming of the crowd echoing as you walked further and further way.

Once in the back, you looked for them excitedly. It wasn’t often you got to see them directly after a concert. You were still hot and bothered, but you tried to push it to the back of your mind as your gaze snagged on them, all seven by the very edge of the stage.

“Hey!” you called, and the second Namjoon caught sight of you, his face split into a dimpled grin that almost made your heart stop.

He strode toward you, and you didn’t realize what he was doing until he swept you up in a hug and spun you around, giggling. Bangtan was right behind him, and suddenly you were in the middle of the sweatiest group hug you’d ever had in your life.

“How was it?” you heard Jimin ask, although you couldn’t see him through all the people in the way.

“It was amazing,” you replied. “Really, you all did fantastically.”

“It’s because we knew you were watching,” Hoseok declared. “You’re our good luck charm.”

You laughed and pulled your bottom lip through your teeth, looking away. A small smile curled your lip, and Jeongguk took you by the chin and planted a quick kiss to your cheek.

“So cute,” you thought you heard him breath, but you couldn’t be sure over the noise still echoing throughout the arena.

“Are you doing an encore?” you asked, and Jin nodded.

“Yeah, we’re gonna rest for a moment and go back out.”

“I got off a little early, so I’m gonna head back to my room and shower, okay? Come over whenever you want. I think Namjoon already has an extra copy of my room key.”

“We’ll come over the second we’re done,” Taehyung said, and then he was hugging you too, your face buried in his neck. “Thank you for watching us.”

“I always watch you,” you admitted. “I’m just never in the front row.”

Jimin’s grin was sharp and sly. “We know.”

You shooed them off, watching them glance back at you as they prepared to go back on stage. You waved them goodbye until they were gone, and then even peeked through the curtain to watch them from the sideline for a moment. I was just like all that time ago, when you’d caught a sneak peek of them before running into Jeongguk, except now you had permission to be here. Now you knew them. And now you knew just how much they meant to you.

Your hotel room was on the second floor next to the venue. You were still one of the only women in mid-crew, and had secured yet another room to yourself. It had two beds, and you threw your bag down on the closest one before showering and changing into something more comfortable. You put on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt and sat down to start browsing Netflix, looking for a new movie to watch. You thought, vaguely, about taking a moment to take care of the heat still simmering on low in your stomach, but knew you’d never be able to look them in the eye if you did something like that right before they came over.

After just over an hour, you heard the door unlock, and you perked up just in time to watch it swing open and reveal the seven people behind it.

“We’re here!” Hoseok hollered, and you laughed.

“And we brought towels,” Jimin informed. You noticed that they were still wearing their makeup, and were still in their stage clothes. They must have really come straight from the concert to your hotel room. Namjoon was the last of the seven to file in, and he held up a huge bag of food for you to see.

“We also ordered takeout,” he said, sheepishly. He knew how much you hated it when they spent money on your food.

You took the bag and shot him a mock-glare. “Go take a shower. You all stink.”

You were glad they’d brought extra towels, because the seven of them rotated through your shower like madmen before getting dressed and climbing into bed. You were sure they were used to such a routine, which explained how they did it so efficiently. You all chatted and ate while everyone showered, celebrating and laughing. It only took thirty minutes for everyone to get settled.

Jeongguk wanted desperately to watch a horror movie, and you relented and allowed it, all of you climbing into one bed. You ended up pressed against Jin, and his hair was still damp from the shower, and he smelled clean and fresh and manly. You had to bite your lip to resist leaning forward and burying your face in his neck.

An hour later, Jimin whispered, horrified, “Oh, no.”

“She’s so dumb,” Taehyung muttered. “She deserves to die.”

Hoseok curled further into himself, and you felt him rocking back and forth on the bed while you clutched your own pillow to your chest. The room was pitch black, except for the glow of the television screen.

The main character took another hesitant step forward, toward the murderer hiding within the house, and toward certain death. The scene was quiet, ominous music played in the background—you all knew a jump scare was coming soon.

“This isn’t even realistic,” Yoongi said. “The fake blood is too thick—,”

Namjoon interrupted, hissing, “Quit talking during the movie.” Not a second later, the murderer jumped out on the screen, making Namjoon yelp. You jumped, and Jin let out a shrill shriek.

The screaming on the screen was drowned out by everyone’s sudden gasp and Jeongguk’s maniacal giggling.

“Hyung—,” he tried to say, pressing his fist against his mouth. “Hyung—what noise what that?”

Jin’s face was red. “That wasn’t me.”

“Then who was it?” Jimin cackled.

“It was (Y/N).”

“Don’t pin that on me,” you immediately countered. “My voice doesn’t even go that high.”

Jeongguk dissolved into giggling again, while Jin’s face heated further.

“I can’t hear,” Yoongi snapped, still paying attention to the movie.

You didn’t know what time it was, and you didn’t care. For once, you didn’t have to worry about going anywhere.

Once the scary movie was finally over, you all decided to watch something lighter to calm down. Jimin picked out a rom-com that had most of you groaning, but no one protested enough to change his mind. It was fun to laugh, but whenever a romantic scene came on, you couldn’t help but eye them nervously. You were afraid that your ridiculous affection would suddenly be tattooed on your forehead.

In the particular movie you were watching, two people fell in love at first sight. It was almost like they were soulmates, and you sighed. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the movie, but watching a movie like that was hard when you were surrounded by seven people you loved but knew would never love you back.

“Have you ever been in love?” Jeongguk asked, suddenly. It took you a stuttered second to realize he was speaking to you, wide and dark gaze unreadable in the low light. You realized that the movie was already over halfway finished, and you’d been distracted for a majority of it.

You stared at him for a long time, lost in thought. It felt like the entire room was waiting for your answer with bated breath, and for the first time in a long time, you felt slightly uncomfortable.

“Not like that,” you said. “And I don’t know if I’d want to be.”

Jeongguk looked away, but Namjoon drew your attention as he asked, “What do you mean?”

It was hard to explain, and you weren’t sure how to begin. How did you tell these men that you wanted that type of love so desperately, you could taste it on the tip of you tongue? How did you describe to them how much it scared you, enticed you, beckoned you for more? A type of love you could only read about, hear about in movies. The type of love only shared between soulmates?

It was easier, pretending not to want it. Because if you pretended not to want it, then you wouldn’t have to live with the crushing disappointment of never having it.

“That type of love doesn’t exist,” you ended up saying, because you were a coward, and intimately aware that you’d managed to fall in love with every single one of them, so who were you to be so greedy?

“I don’t think that’s true,” Jimin said, quietly. The movie was just a humble hum in the background, barely audible. “Maybe you just haven’t found it yet.”

It hurt, thinking about it. Hope could be just as painful as it was uplifting. “If it does exist, I don’t need it to be happy.”

They’d ruined you, you realized. There would be no one after them. Any chance you’d had of finding mediocre love with a man who made you happy but didn’t light a fire in your soul was dashed, and all because for the first time in your life, you’d found people that made you feel alive.

“Of course, you don’t need it. But what if someone wanted to give it to you?” Taehyung inquired.

You turned your head and looked away from them, considering and contemplating fruitlessly. “I don’t know.” The mood in the room plummeted, and you couldn’t help but think it was your fault. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jin whispered. “Sorry for interrupting the movie.”

“It’s fine,” you laughed, only a little awkwardly. “I wasn’t really paying attention anyway. Do you want to watch something else?”

They agreed, and finally settled on the first episode of a crime show you’d never heard of but pretended to watch avidly. Several of them glanced at you from the corner of their eyes, but you tried your best to ignore it.

By the time early dawn was creeping at your window, it was already decided that Bangtan would spend the night. Such was your routine. You ended up squished in one bed with Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon, with Jin and the maknae line on the other bed. Everyone was so tired that sleep came easily, but you still lingered awake, thinking and worrying about the situation you’d gotten yourself into.

You needed to distance yourself from them, or tell them how you felt. You knew they’d never return your affection, but at least you wouldn’t feel guilty about lying to them.

I’m in love with you, I’m sorry. I need some distance to think.

It would almost be easy, but you didn’t want to see the look on their faces when you confessed. You would probably sound crazy. Who fell in love with seven people? They would probably think you were faking it because they were handsome, rich, and successful.

No, no, you knew that was your insecurity talking. But you also knew your friendship with them would never be the same afterward. You weren’t sure if you were ready to lose them.

You were so tired. You wished you could just fall asleep and not worry about anything until the morning.

“You can relax,” Yoongi whispered, suddenly. His voice was low and gruff and muddled by sleep.

You almost startled. Yoongi was lying right next to you, and you’d held yourself rigid to avoid touching him. You were afraid of making him uncomfortable. You could feel the pressure of Hoseok’s back against your own, but he was already fast asleep.

“M’fine,” you murmured. Yoongi snorted at how tired you sounded and scooted closer, until you had to actively fight not to sink next to him.

“Come here. It’s fine.”

You hesitated for a moment longer before settling down, letting Yoongi’s weight on the mattress roll you closer until you were pressed against his side. You rested your head against his chest, intertwining one leg between his. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” you whispered into his sweatshirt, voice almost slurred with how sleepy you were. You wished you were at least coherent enough to appreciate his sudden closeness. “Are you comfortable?”

“So comfortable,” he muttered, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. He maneuvered until his arm was underneath your head, fingertips drawing idle patterns across your back. “So, so comfortable.”

You laughed and looped your arm around his middle. “You’re such a sap.”

Yoongi’s body was incredibly warm, and you angled your face upward toward his neck. You could feel Hoseok’s back pressed against your own, and you wanted him to turn around and wrap you between him and Yoongi like a Bangtan sandwich. You dispelled the thought a moment later, knowing that it would lead nowhere except to awkward heartbreak.

“You smell good,” Yoongi said, instead of replying.

Unconsciously, you took a deep breath and smelled him. He smelled like the hotel’s scented body wash and whatever leftover cologne he’d put on before the concert. “You do, too.”

“Did you enjoy the concert?”

“I always do.” In the dark of the hotel room, with the only sound being the rest of Bangtan’s steady breathing, you felt safely cocooned. It was like living in a different world, where whatever pain and heartache you felt could be left outside, and inside this haven you could finally be free. “Sitting in the crowd, watching the seven of you do what you do. . . you just take my breath away.”

He went quiet. You were almost embarrassed for being so open with him, but blanketed by warmth and darkness, you found yourself too tired to care. Yoongi’s chest was moving up and down steadily underneath your cheek, and the soothing feeling was steadily pushing you toward sleep, until he broke the still and earnest silence.

“It’s better, now that you’re here,” he admitted, in a voice almost too quiet to be heard. “You make us better.”

“Mhmm, Yoongi,” you murmured, face still pressed against his chest. You were so tired, and your body was so heavy. You would never get over this feeling, of being able to exist absolutely comfortable in their presence. Hoseok shifted behind you, and you felt the curve of his spine through the thin material of your t-shirt.

“Yeah, baby?”

You hummed again, slipping further out of consciousness. You thought you heard him chuckle before he drew you closer, hand coming to rest on your shoulder. You cuddled closer to him and sighed, the beating of seven other hearts lulling you to sleep.

~~~

You woke up that morning cold, and a little bit barren. You didn’t understand why until you shifted and didn’t feel anyone next to you. Your hand met warm pillow, which meant you hadn’t been abandoned for long, but was still less satisfying than finding a warm body.

You nuzzled sleepily into your pillow and almost hummed, until the low sound of whispering caught your attention.

For a moment, you were too tired to listen, but as the whispering went on, you slowly starting paying more and more attention. Then, you recognized voices.

“We need to tell her,” someone said. You perked up at the mention of a her—you? Another woman?

“We can’t,” Jeongguk despaired. “You heard her last night. We need to give her more time.”

“You were the one that was so eager in the first place,” Yoongi hissed. “You’re the one who asked all that shit last night!”

“Be quiet,” Namjoon scolded. “She’s still sleeping.”

You turned your head just slightly, and caught sight of the hotel clock—it was only six o’clock in the morning.

“I just feel like we’re lying to her,” Taehyung whispered.

“It’s not lying if we plan on telling her later,” Hoseok said. “Now just isn’t the right time.”

Jimin butted in, saying, “It’s been over a month. What if there isn’t a right time?”

“We’re being too hasty.”

“We’re being impatient.”

“We’re wasting precious time!”

You sat up in bed slowly, and it was as if all of the air in the room was suddenly vacuumed away. Taehyung made a distressed noise in the back of his throat, and you asked, “What are you talking about?”

Your voice was soft and gruff with sleep, but still auditable. Someone in the room gulped.

No one said anything. You could see them now, piled together on the other bed, Jimin and Namjoon braced on the edge while the other five cowered behind them. You shifted until you were sitting directly across from them. The blanket was bunched around your waist, and your hair probably looked a mess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Your nose twitched, and you asked again, “What are you talking about?”

The silence stretched impossibly longer. Everyone was looking between you and Namjoon, but even he seemed at a loss for what to say. You glanced at each other their faces, trying to analyze them for weakness. Someone would have to talk—someone would inevitably break.

“We’re in love with you,” Jimin blurted out. Everyone turned to glare at him while you gasped, raggedly. It was like a bucket of water being thrown over you.

You stared at him, wide-eyed and incredulous. For a moment you were too afraid to speak, until you breathed out an uncertain, “What?”

“We’re in love with you,” Jimin repeated, softer, slower. “All seven of us.”

Unconsciously, you shook your head. It didn’t seem possible, and your brain was having trouble making sense of it—there was no way in Heaven or Hell that all seven men in Bangtan were in love with you. You were nothing, compared to the women that surrounded them daily. You were nothing, compared to the money and the fame they had. You were nothing. Maybe you were still dreaming, and this was all just an elaborate fantasy.

Jin was quick to do damage control. “It’s not as weird as Jimin makes it out to be.”

“Actually, it’s weirder,” Yoongi commented, dryly. “We’re soulmates.”

To himself, Namjoon muttered, “God, we’re so bad at this.” He pinched the bridge of his nose but didn’t move to speak further.

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“It means,” Yoongi continued, “that the eight of use are meant to be together. Every single one of us. We were meant to be together since the day we were born.”

“It’s not something we can explain easily,” Hoseok winced. “But the seven of us already knew what to expect, when it happened. Meeting your soulmate is like finding a missing part of yourself. It’s touching another person and knowing they hold a piece of you.”

“It’s looking into someone else’s gaze and seeing yourself reflected back at you,” Taehyung added.

“It’s filling a hole in your heart without even realizing it was there,” Jeongguk finished, quietly.

Namjoon decided to interrupt, saying, “We know it’s hard for someone who hasn’t seen it before to understand. That’s why we haven’t said anything until now.”

You looked up at the ceiling, not sure what to say. A part of you wished they would have told you sooner, but another part knew you wouldn’t have been ready to hear it.

“Didn’t you feel something?” Jimin asked, leaning forward on the bed. “When we first met, when we were finally all together? Didn’t something about it just feel right?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, and your voice was embarrassingly weak. “I—uh—,”

You must be going insane. Soulmates didn’t exist, and if they did, you certainly would have seven of them—and they certainly wouldn’t be the entirety of Bangtan. All talented, handsome, special—and then plain, boring you? Nothing about it made sense when it was laid out in front of you, logical and analyzed.

But you couldn’t forget that feeling you’d had, when you’d first met them—all the heated touches, the electricity, how comfortable they made you. That feeling you’d had in the car, when Namjoon had shut the door and suddenly the world didn’t spin on a titled axis, suddenly a layer of static was lifted from your brain, and for once you could be at peace.

You couldn’t forget the rightness, buried deep in your chest.

“Why me?” you asked them. “I just don’t see why me.”

“Because you’re the only person in the world meant just for us,” Jeongguk breathed, and his voice was reverent, and the seven of them looked at you like you were something to be worshiped.

And it was too much. Your insecurity, your confusion—they pilled on top of each other and multiplied and multiplied, filling your body and your chest and it was too much.

You stood abruptly, startling them. “I think I need to leave.”

“Don’t go,” Jimin immediately begged, reaching out to you.

You took a step back. “I-I’m sorry. I need to think. I can’t think clearly when you’re all here.”

“Then we can leave,” Namjoon started to say. “This is your hotel room—,”

But you turned before they could stand, and you were out of the hotel room before they had time to stop you.

[fueltheroots]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

A butthead. Muah.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Depends on the situation. I enjoy going out and doing things, but I also have social anxiety. Basically any time I have plans I have to give myself a mental pep talk and spend the next few days recovering.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

A butthead.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so. If you’re good at handling sarcasm and dry humor.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yes. They already have.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Those who try and find the good in others.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Not outwardly.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

I have a feeling “butthead” is going to mentioned a lot in these questions.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Not really. I may be awkward about it sometimes, but I don’t feel uncomfortable.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Yep. Butthead is definitely going to be mentioned a lot in these.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Shushkiss*

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

This changes constantly. I’ll just list the ones I’ve listened to more than once the past couple of days.

Time In A Bottle. Sympathy For The Devil. Big Rocky Candy Mountain. All My Tears. I Fought The Law.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God, yes.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

I believe everything happens for a reason. Even if we don’t quite understand what that reason is.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I adopted a cat who is as weird as I am?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Every morning. Every afternoon. Every evening. Every night. Forever.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I think it’s naive to think we’re the only life out there.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

A bit too much.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

They’re alright ;)

21. What are you bad habits?

I can be oblivious about important matters. I procrastinate. Opening texts, getting busy, and never responding. Overplaying songs I discover until I can’t stand them. Not having a normal eating schedule.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Anywhere and everywhere I can. Want to see the great parks of the U.S. Then travel to countries of my heritage.

23. Do you have trust issues?

I think most people do. It’s something I’m consistently working on. Trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, until they give me reason not to.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Mornoons.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

I try not to focus on judging my body too much. It’ll age and looks will fade with time for everyone. Guess if I had to say I’d say fingers. Short and stubby.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Stare at my ceiling trying to motivate myself to get up.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

It’s skin. It’s doing its job. I do not care about what color it is.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Butthead. And my furbabies. Both have seen and know too much.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Pretty much all of them have tried to get me back with me at some point. Always makes me feel guilty. You can’t force yourself to love someone though.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I use to want that. Complicated now.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Nope. I can’t pull off a ponytail even when it is long enough for one anyway.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Ew. No.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

Gabbav

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Use to. Softball, soccer, flag football, etc. Now I enjoy longboarding and occasional volleyball.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. Music saves me.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Who hasn’t?

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Something to make it more awkward.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Butthead. Thankful to say they’re not a dream.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

2nd & Charles, Mr. K’s used bookstore, any antique shop I can find.

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Bahahaha. Clearly I am too old for this website. You youngins.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

I think you can forgive someone, but I also think its perfectly fine to remove that person from your life if they’re toxic for you.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Usually overthinking or daydreaming.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Probably a creepily amount.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

I’ve seen pictures of what can lurk at the bottom of some oceans.. I’ll take space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Needing a paycheck, usually. Or letting my dogs out.

46. What are you paranoid about?

I don’t want to think about it.

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I don’t think so?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Green.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

When I was younger. I’ve grown comfortable with who I am.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My tendency to overthink.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I’m not big in makeup. I only wear it when I want to prevent looking like death itself.

54. Favourite store?

2nd & Charles. All the blu-rays!

55. Favourite blog?

Don’t have one.

56. Favourite colour?

Green.

57. Favourite food?

Hibachi, probably. Pizza is a close second.

58. Last thing you ate?

Chicken biscuit from chick fil a.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

I didn’t.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

4th grade Orange County Schools essay. 5th grade county choir show. Honestly I couldn’t tell you the official names of these. I forget they happened.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope. Goody two shoes.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. Been driven in the back of a cop car across state lines, though.

63. Ever been in love?

Still am. First.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Was a boy who lived in the neighborhood across from mine. We were always good friends. We were under a light post in my neighborhood at night. We were talking about first kisses. I said I hadn’t had mine. Few minutes later I looked away at something, he said my name, I turned to look at him and he landed one on me. Then the lightpost turned on and he said “Well it’s not fireworks, but..” I think I was 13 at the time. 9th grade. I wasn’t too happy about it at first, because I liked someone else, but in the end I was happy it was with him because we remained friends for years and the other guy ended up being a lot of drama.

65. Are you hungry right now?

No. I should be.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t really have any. I rarely talk to people on here. I’m bad at responding to messages. Any friends I have in real life are coworkers really.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Eh. I’d really only consider one person to be my best friend. Who’d I want to share everything with and talk to constantly. lwwnm

71. Craving something? What?

Time with butthead. Always.

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Four. I usually sleep on one, hold the other or lay my arm under it, and the other two are just to separate my head from my wall. Decorative.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

No. I sleep with real animals. And a hat.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Maybe two? One I just got this past Wednesday from a claw machine when I went to Sparetime. The other is Yoshi from Nintendo that my brother gave me years ago. They’re both in my closet.

75. Favourite animal?

My favorite animal is a Moxie. You’d understand if you met her. Honestly though, I couldn’t choose between cats and dogs. It’s a different kind of love.

76. What colour is your underwear?

I’m in the tub currently. It’d be pretty odd to be wearing underwear now.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

I use to love Strawberry Cheesecake from Ben & Jerry’s. I rarely eat ice cream nowadays.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Again. In the tub.

80. What colour pants?

Okay well BEFORE THE TUB— wait no I wasn’t wearing any pants then either.

81. Favourite tv show?

Either Frasier or The Nanny. I can binge watch the heck out of those.

82. Favourite movie?

Can’t decide.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

There was a Mean Girls 2?

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Didn’t see 21 Jump Street. Show or movie.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

I don’t know? I really don’t put this much thought into that movie.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Probably Peach. Sassy little starfish. “That was the shortest red light I’ve ever seen!”

87. First person you talked to today?

Butthead.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Hopefully butthead. I like to start my days with him and end them with him. Though, it’s not really possible when I work at 6:55AM and they’re asleep. Can’t really avoid talking to coworkers/clients for hours.

89. Name a person you hate?

I don’t hate anyone.

90. Name a person you love?

C. T. C. Butthead. Gorramit. Squashblossom. Turd.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah. I often want to give someone a pillow whack though.

92. In a fight with someone?

No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Legit sweatpants? One.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Maybe three sweaters. Too many hoodies.

95. Last movie you watched?

The Dirt.

[iwasnthere622]

Zack Taylor Designated Driver Squad

AO3 Link: Chapter 5

AO3 Link: Chapter 4

AO3 Link: Chapter 3

AO3 Link: Chapter 2

AO3 Link: Chapter 1

Tumblr Link: Chapter 4

Tumblr Link: Chapter 3

Tumblr Link: Chapter 2

Tumblr Link: Chapter 1

CHAPTER 5: FRIDAY

Zack hiked down from his spot on the mountain, heading for his and his mom's trailer. It was Friday, which meant no one was coming to get him. When his friends first started this whole DD thing of escorting him to school, Jason was going to just come twice, since there were four of them and five school days in a week.

But Trini, god bless her, had a silent but intense conversation with Kim using eyebrows, long blinks, and frowns in the way only girls could, and Kim convinced their illustrious leader that Zack was not actually a child and did have other responsibilities, and maybe they should let him make the call on Fridays.

And he appreciated it, he did, but they still didn't really get it, how suffocating the school was, because no one cared. No one in that building cared an ounce for him, these adults that he was taught as a child to respect and to go to for help had turned their backs on him and written him off as a delinquent, a lost cause that they couldn't even be bothered to push through to graduation.

And none of them understood what it was like to take any odd job he could find, anything anyone was willing to give him, lying about his age to adults who knew better and accepted the lie out of pity or because it was just easier or for their own twisted gains so they could pay cash and below minimum wage because it's not like he do anything about it, right?

And they didn't get how most nights it felt like the walls of the trailer were closing in around him and the harsh sounds of his mother's breathing got louder and louder until it drowned out his own heartbeat and then it just stopped and that was always worse, the guilt and fear pinning him to his bed until it stuttered up again, just apnea, just a pause, but that one second of silence would be enough to wreck him for hours.

There was so much more to his life than sitting in a room for 8 hours listening to an old white dude tell him what the world was like. He knew what the world was like.

Zack reached the trailer and took a deep breath to steady himself before slipping inside, trying to stay quiet in case his mother was sleeping, knowing she needed her rest.

He made her breakfast tray, separating out pills, using one of the jelly packets he'd swiped from the school cafeteria to try to entice her to eat today, since she hadn't yesterday and had been sick the night before.

He pushed open her door carefully, pausing to see his mother actually awake for once, moving over to her. He set the tray down, offering her a small but genuine smile, reaching to help her sit up.

"Sleep well?" he asked softly, steadying her until he was sure she'd stay upright.

His mother reached up to pat his cheek softly, arm lowering and fingers seeking his, squeezing his hand. "Better when you are here," she chastised gently, studying her son.

Zack flushed, guilt heavy in his gut, squeezing her hand and reaching for her tray. "I brought a treat this morning, jelly toast. Please eat..."

His mother sighed, her exhale turning into a cough, covering her mouth and swaying where she sat, Zack's hands quick to steady her. When the fit was over, she leaned exhaustedly back into her pillow, letting Zack guide the water cup to her lips, taking a small sip.

"My strong boy... you should be in school," she said. She may be sick, but her mind was still sharp -- she knew today was a school day, just as she knew her son's friends did not meet him on this day. She liked his friends, they were kind and cared for her son, but for some reason they never came at the end of the week, and without them Zack didn't seem inclined to go to school.

"I went all week," Zack said, smiling a little, handing her a few pills to take -- there were so many, she could only take a few at a time before needing a break.

His mothers swallowed the pills down with some difficulty, studying her son. "It doesn't count if you don't go today."

"I'm going into town today, to work," Zack said, not meeting her gaze, setting the water cup back down.

Oh, how she hated the burden she placed on his shoulders! He was too young for this responsibility, and yet he never complained to her, not once.

"Go to school," she said firmly, reaching to cover one of his hands with her own. "Your friends will miss you."

"You matter more," Zack said firmly, picking up a piece of toast. "Try?"

Wary of being sick again but knowing she needed to eat, she allowed Zack to feed her the piece of toast, finishing it but unable to eat the second slice he'd made her.

"You eat it," she encouraged, but he shook his head.

"I already ate," Zack lied, "I'll leave it here for you, for later."

His mother doubted very much that he'd eaten, since he hadn't been home last night to take any food.

"Tell me about your friends, what have you been doing?" she asked, forcing herself to stay awake a little longer, to talk with her son.

Zack smiled a bit, nodding. "Well, Billy and me are working on a research project about colors for history. Oh, and Jason and I took out the whole class at dodgeball in PE this week, and I've got Kim and Trini on either arm as we walk the halls."

His mother smiled at the happiness on Zack's face when he talked about his friends, so glad he finally had some, glad he'd have someone to look out for him when she was gone.

"Why does no one come for you today?" she asked, unsure if he'd answer her.

"Because, Fridays are for my mom," Zack answered, offering her a grin, reaching for the next batch of her pills.

His mother took the pills, it slow going for her to get them all down, needing to take two more breaks before she could and by then she was utterly exhausted.

"Sleep," Zack said, helping her lie down.

"My Zack... I love you," she said, tired eyes closing.

Zack kissed her forehead. "I love you, mom." He watched her slip into sleep, setting the second piece of toast within her reach, in case she woke hungry while he was gone.

He slipped out of her room, closing the door softly behind him and closing his eyes for a moment -- she was getting so weak -- before he straightened and grabbed his keys, heading out.

He walked into town, it mid-morning now, going into all the open businesses and asking for some work. He'd do anything, dishes, clean bathrooms, anything, please.

But with the reconstruction still going on, from all the damage Rita and Goldar (and the Rangers) had caused, no one was looking to or even able to hire, and he spent a frustrating number of hours begging for work where there wasn't any.

The diner gave him some leftover food they couldn't sell as a consolation prize, and though he'd rather have the money, he ate the food, stomach growling hungrily at him as when he went to school he got lunch and usually dinner out of his friends.

He gave up after that, heading back home to check on his mom, frowning at seeing the toast untouched, but her breathing seemed a bit easier, and her face wasn't as ashen in her sleep as it had been.

Zack glanced at the clock, wondering what to do now, realizing everyone was still in school for another hour. Making up his mind, he took off, walking towards the school, then jogging, then running, then pushing himself faster, sticking to shadows as he poured on the Ranger speed, trying to outrun his demons.

But when he reached the school, they were still with him, so he just shoved them down and headed inside, trying to remember everyone's schedules and heading to the art room to pick up his work from yesterday.

Ms. Bucala was happy to show him the final result, and Zack grinned because they were great, thanking her for her help. He left the building -- there was no point to walking into last period when there was only 15 minutes left -- and headed for the parking lot, finding Jason's ugly truck easily and leaning against it, settling in to wait.

He saw it the moment Jason spotted him when the final bell rang and students started coming out, because the Red Ranger immediately straightened and scanned the area for any threats.

Zack just grinned at him, watching him make his way over. "Summon the team, bossman," he said, "for I come bearing gifts!"

Jason eyed him, a little disappointed he hadn't come to school today, but happy to see him -- they usually didn't see Zack at all on Friday's, so this was an improvement.

"All right," he agreed, pulling out his phone. "Usual spot?" he asked.

Zack nodded. "Works for me, you're the one driving."

Jason nodded, sending out the text and waiting for the responses (Kim: ok, Trini: ? gimme 20, Billy: Sure but I have to tell my mom first.).

"They'll be there in 20," Jason said, nodding at his truck and climbing in, waiting for Zack to get in as well. "What's the surprise, then?"

"You'll see," Zack said cheerfully. "Everyone still think we're dating?"

"Nah, Holt got caught making out with Sabrina and Mitch," Jason said.

"At the same time?!"

"Yup."

"Dude."

"Yup."

"No wonder we're old news!" Zack shook his head.

"Hey, I know that look -- don't get any ideas! Flying under the radar is a good thing, you know," Jason said, knowing that spark in Zack's eyes only ever meant trouble, and usually for him.

Zack laughed. "Where's the fun in that?"

Jason just shook his head, the pair falling silent. "You okay, man?" he asked softly.

"What? Yeah, 'course," Zack answered, grinning and pretending not to notice when Jason saw it not reach his eyes, glad the other boy let it drop.

They made it as far as the truck would go, climbing out and walking the rest of the way to the top of the cliff that lead to the drop below to the spaceship.

Jason sat on the ground to wait for the others, pulling at his tshirt. "How can you wear that jacket, it's like 90 degrees out."

Zack shrugged. "I have better fashion sense than you?" he answered, waving a hand.

Jason scowled. "At least I won't die of heat stroke."

"Pretty sure heat stroke is the last thing a Ranger has to worry about," Zack point out, gracefully sitting across from Jason. "You're just jealous cause it makes me look so cool."

"As if," Jason scoffed. "You look ridiculous, it's summer not winter."

"I look hot, you mean," Zack grinned.

"That's not what I said!" Jason argued.

"Admit it, looking at me makes you hot," Zack teased.

Jason growled. "What are you, five?"

"Did you text me to come here to listen to you argue? Cause I could do that tomorrow at training," Kim said, walking up to them.

"Princess, how nice of you to join us!" Zack grinned up at her.

"Zack," Kim said, sitting down. "Missed you at school today."

"Aw, missed you, too, Pinkie!" Zack said.

"What did I miss?" Billy asked, sitting down between Kim and Jason.

"Nothing," Jason answered.

"Why are we here?" Kim asked.

Jason shrugged. "Ask Z."

The three of them looked to him, but he just shook his head. "Gotta wait for Yellow."

"Is something going on?" Billy asked.

"Nah, just got a present you guys," Zack answered.

"A present?" Kim asked, perking up.

"Gotta wait for the whole class, Ms. Hart," Zack teased.

"I finished the blue section of our report today," Bill said.

"Dude, that's awesome! We'll be done next week for sure," Zack grinned.

"I think so, yes," Billy smiled.

"Did you really add that Hitler part?" Jason asked, looking between the two.

"Hell yeah he did, right, Blue?" Zack said, whooping when Billy nodded.

"It is factually accurate, and Mr. Martin might give us more points for tying in the era we're currently studying," Billy said somewhat apologetically.

"All right, what's with the summons?" Trini said, unsurprised she was the last one here -- it was hardest for her to sneak away.

"I have an announcement," Zack said, waiting for Trini to sit, looking around at his friends. "To thank you for all your very hard work as members of the Zack Taylor Designated Driver Squad, also known as my personal DDs, I have a reward for you all."

He reached into his pocket and carefully withdrew the key chains he'd made, handing them out. They were in the shape of a lightning bolt, painted their ranger colors.

"Did you make these?" Billy asked, holding it carefully.

"Yes, he did," Trini answered before Zack could. "He took art three periods yesterday."

"This is amazing, Zack!" Kim said, holding it up to spin in the light.

"Thank you," Billy grinned.

"'Twas nothing," Zack said, but he was grinning ear to ear.

"You don't have to give us anything, you know," Jason said softly, everyone looking at him, but he kept his eyes on Zack. "We'd still come get you and hang out with you and help with school."

"Yeah, Z, we're friends," Kim added, smiling.

"You're with us," Billy agreed.

"Yeah," Trini added softly, smiling.

"Geez, guys, they're just key chains, not love proposals!" Zack said, embarrassed. "I know, okay?"

"Good," Jason said firmly, making it a point to pull out his keys and add the key chain to them, the others following suit.

"You made one for yourself, too?" Trini asked, seeing Zack do the same.

"Yeah, course! If you're gonna do the Power Rangers colors, you can't leave out black!" Zack answered.

"No, you can't," Kim agreed, everyone sharing a grin before she stood up. "Well, this was a great surprise, but my parents will be wondering where I am right about now, so..."

Jason stood. "Same."

Trini sighed and stood up as well. "I'm supposed to be taking a shower right now..."

Zack wolf whistled as he stood, ducking the punch he knew was coming.

"We'll see each other tomorrow?" Billy questioned, wanting to confirm.

"Training tomorrow," Jason nodded. "9am."

Kim groaned. "It's the weekend, let us sleep in for once!"

"That is sleeping in, remember when he made us start at 7am?" Trini asked with a shudder, the group making their way down.

"Need a ride, Billy?" Jason asked, the Blue Ranger agreeing and thanking him.

"Z?" Jason offered, but the Black Ranger shook his head.

"Nah, I'm heading home, it's not that far of a walk," Zack answered.

Trini met his eye, tilting her head. Was his mom okay?

Zack met her eyes and offered her a small -- but genuine -- smile. Yeah, she's okay.

Reconfirming that they'd meet at the ship tomorrow morning, they split up, Jason and Billy climbing into the red pickup, while Kim and Trini got into Kim's car. All four waved at Zack as they pulled out, and Zack offered them all a salute, before turning to head home, hoping his mom was doing better after another day's rest. He was looking forward to showing her the key chain he'd made, and playing a game of chess if she felt up to it.

[pingo1387]

all. all the questions all of them

Already answered the multiples of 10 so I’m skipping those ones 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? 

I am not sure but if anyone it was probably @c0ralines-dreams 

2. Are you outgoing or shy? 

S h y 

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 

All my mutuals irl if possible and @c0ralines-dreams 

4. Are you easy to get along with? 

I hope so 

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 

I hope so 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 

Let’s not get into that 

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? 

Lmao no 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 

A good friend I haven’t seen in months and need to contact soon 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 

Nah 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 

“ I saw that and idk them either” 

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 

Bad Boy Good Man, Chasing Cars, I’m Yours, Pictures at an Exhibition, Cheshire Kitten (We’re All Mad Here) 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 

When Special People do it, yes 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 

I dunno 

15. What good thing happened this summer? 

I had a job for a month 

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 

YES 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 

Yes 

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 

Nope 

19. Do you like bubble baths? 

Not really 

21. What are your bad habits? 

Not having a good sleeping schedule 

22. Where would you like to travel? 

For the love of fuck I answered like three versions of this question yesterday 

23. Do you have trust issues? 

Yeah, 

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 

Chillin’ 

26. What do you do when you wake up? 

Go back to sleep 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 

Nah 

28. Who are you most comfortable around? 

Usually @c0ralines-dreams if we’re talking irl 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? 

I don’t have any of those 

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? 

Yeah 

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 

??? 

33. Spell your name with your chin. 

pyyirng8.e 

34. Do you play sports? What sports? 

I love skiing but I haven’t done it in years 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 

TV 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 

Haha yes 

37. What do you say during awkward silences? 

Nothing 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 

No 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 

B&N 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 

Not necessarily 

42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean? 

Depends on the situation 

43. Do you smile at strangers? 

Sometimes 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 

Depends on what I’m wearing, a spacesuit or a diving suit 

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 

Panic 

46. What are you paranoid about? 

Everything 

47. Have you ever been high? 

Nope 

48. Have you ever been drunk? 

I wish 

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 

I dunno 

51. Ever wished you were someone else? 

Yeah 

53. Favorite makeup brand? 

I don’t wear makeup 

54. Favorite store? 

Again with the fucking repeating questions 

55. Favorite blog? 

No 

56. Favorite color? 

Blue or green idk 

57. Favorite food? 

Pasta 

58. Last thing you ate? 

Milky Way bar 

59. First thing you ate this morning? 

Sammich 

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? 

No 

62. Been arrested? For what? 

No 

63. Ever been in love? 

Next time someone sends me every single question from an ask meme i’m not answering it because apparently many of the questions will essentially be the same fucking one. My point is i’ve already answered this. 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 

I’d rather not right now 

65. Are you hungry right now? 

Yeah 

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 

I rarely interact with others irl outside of basic social expectations so I guess? 

67. Facebook or Twitter? 

I don’t have Twitter and I don’t like FB 

68. Twitter or tumblr? 

tumblr by default 

69. Are you watching TV right now? 

No 

71. Craving something? What? 

Pasta 

72. What color are your towels? 

Green 

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? 

No 

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 

Like three 

75. Favorite animal? 

Penguin 

76. What color is your underwear? 

Blue 

77. Chocolate or vanilla? 

Chocolate 

78. Favorite ice cream flavor? 

Chocolate 

79. What color shirt are you wearing? 

White 

81. Favorite TV show? 

Steven U 

82. Favorite movie? 

Fuck off I answered this yesterday 

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 

I’ve never seen either 

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 

I’ve never seen either 

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls? 

I’ve never fucking seen Mean Girls 

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? 

Nemo 

87. First person you talked to today? 

The bus driver 

88. Last person you talked to today? 

My roommate 

89. Name a person you hate? 

Drumpf 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 

Yeah but he’s not here right now 

92. In a fight with someone? 

No? 

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 

One 

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 

At least 10 

95. Last movie you watched? 

Moonrise Kingdom 

96. Favorite actress? 

I dunno 

97. Favorite actor? 

I dunno 

98. Do you tan a lot? 

Kinda not really 

99. Have any pets? 

Two dogs and three cats 

101. Do you type fast? 

Yes 

102. Do you regret anything from your past? 

Yes 

103. Can you spell well? 

Yes 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 

No 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 

No 

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 

I hope not 

107. Have you ever been on a horse? 

No 

108. What should you be doing? 

Dying 

109. Is something irritating you right now? 

Yes. Answering all these questions. 

111. Do you have trust issues? 

FUCK YOU THIS WAS ALREADY A QUESTION WORD FOR WORD 

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 

I dunno 

113. What was your childhood nickname? 

That’s not important 

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 

Yes 

115. Do you play the Wii? 

Sometimes 

116. Are you listening to music right now? 

No 

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 

Not really 

118. Do you like Chinese food? 

Yes 

119. Favorite book? 

No 

121. Are you mean? 

Sometimes 

122. Is cheating ever okay? 

No 

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 

I dunno 

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

In a way 

125. Do you believe in true love? 

Sure? 

126. Are you currently bored? 

Somewhat 

127. What makes you happy? 

I dunno 

128. Would you change your name? 

No 

129. What’s your zodiac sign? 

Aquarius; Ox 

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 

Tell him he’s too late and he should’ve liked me back when I thought I had a crush on him and not when I’ve already realized I’m a gay ace 

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 

I dunno 

133. Favorite lyrics right now? 

I dunno 

134. Can you count to one million? 

Technically yes? 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 

I dunno 

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 

Closed 

137. How tall are you? 

Fuck you I answered this yesterday 

138. Curly or straight hair? 

I have straight hair 

139. Brunette or blonde? 

I’m a brunette 

141. Night or day? 

Night 

142. Favorite month? 

December 

143. Are you a vegetarian? 

No 

144. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

Dark 

145. Tea or coffee? 

Coffee 

146. Was today a good day? 

I dunno 

147. Mars or Snickers? 

Neither 

148. What’s your favorite quote? 

I’m not doing this again 

149. Do you believe in ghosts? 

No 

[notyetjaded1]

1-117 :) please answer all of them

omg. 

don’t mind me as i just use this as an excuse not to stare at my own face until i go to sleep

previously asked questions here & here! 

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Oooooh. The state of the world and politics and equality issues, figuring out my life purpose and real abilities, why I always have the inspiration to film at the most inopportune moments, and fucking taxes, man. 

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Actually…yes! Sometimes! People are super cute.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Fuck no. Not in the slightest. And yet here I am, sharing my life on social media and video. Constantly. Weird. 

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Sleeping. Because I’m secretly 80 years old. Don’t judge me. 

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

No one. Because I don’t get drunk outside of definitely safe spaces. Because I’m paranoid af and, as we just discerned, do not trust people. 8: Are you close with your dad?Relatively, yeah! :D9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Lol, nope, sadly not. Been a little while now, actually? When did I film that Q&A…? 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Water. Because I’d like to survive as a semi-healthy human being. And water is fucking good. 12: Do you like hickeys?Giving or receiving? Giving, fuck yes. Again, I’m a literal vampire who likes biting people far more than I should. Receiving. Ehhhhh. It’s a weird mix of, hey, I like the aesthetic of bruises and all that other pseudo-grunge bullshit and, hey, I don’t like the idea of other people having their physical mark on me. So. Yay. 13: What time do you go to bed?Fuck me, too late. I say as I try to get in bed between 9 pm and 11 pm because I have to be awake at 4:45 am to get ready for work and I know that I am constantly tired. It used to be closer to bewteen like 11 pm and 1 am in my college days and I fucking miss it because I used to be so much more productive, fuck. 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Kind of? Yeah, I feel like there are people that I have high hopes and expectations for and yet…they never seem to be able to live up to them. Because there’s a horrid mismatch between their goals and the steps they think they need to take to achieve them. Vague. I know. And yet. But at the same time, when there’s evidence to suggest I shouldn’t trust someone with certain things, I do tend to lower my expectations so they can’t let me down, so there’s that. 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?Nope, not at all! I am very right handed. 16: Do you always answer your texts?hahaha, no, I’m the worst. I try to get to them within a certain amount of time. But like. I really am the worst with social interactions. I apologize in advance for being a shit human being. 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Nope. Because I have no idea who that would be. 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?How many times have I now seen/watched Jack play Undertale and how the fuck does his screaming help me fall asleep?? 21: Is anyone else in the room with you?Not at the moment! 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?Not in the karma kind of way; at least not really. Like, self-fulfilling prophecies, sure. You create your own expectations and then either that makes them happen or it makes you on the look out for it. But I do think if you behave a certain way, it’s bound to bite you in the ass. 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?Not in the slightest. Four months ago fucking sucked, man. All of the family stuff going on + existential crises (literally, could not function, was so anxious) about school + do I/don’t I continue youtube, and all the world bullshit? Yeah, no. 2016? Was not a good time in my life. 25: In the past week, have you cried?I’m not even kidding, I was about a breath away from crying when I saw snow in Denmark. I’m emotional, okay. 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?Currently? Surprisingly enough, navy blue. 27: Do people ever call you by your last name?Nope! Thankfully not! 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?LMFAO probably. 29: Do you have a best friend?One best friend? Nah. Really close friends who I adore and appreciate. Absolutely. 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?…yes because I’m secretly a very jealous and insecure person. 31: Who was your last call/text message from?@dreams–die–today!33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yup. 3 of the…4?? people. 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?Um. Hm. twenty…six…? seven…..? we talked about it and I literally have the worst memory. Sorry. 35: How many more days until your birthday?191. Apparently. 36: Do you have any summer plans yet?Hopefully start a new job!! But we shall see! 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?Very much so. :) 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?Not necessarily keeping things? Like. Not secrets really. They just never really came up? 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?Anyone? Not that I can really think of? 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?Nope, can’t say I have. 41: Do you think age matters in relationships?I mean, yes, to the extent of legality, consent, maturity, and power hierarchies. 42: Are you available?In…what…way? Emotionally? No? Schedule wise? There is nothing on my calendar for 10pm on a Tuesday night? 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?Real, strong feelings in what way??? 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?I spent my entire middle and high school life wanting lip piercings. Hardcore wannabe emo kid right here. 45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Absolutely. I think if things ended well and consensually and whatnot, you do you. :) 46: Do you regret anything?LMFAO YES. 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?Literally too much. Should I be on YouTube, video ideas (anxiety v depression, inspiration v self-criticism, etc.), school, suicide prevention job opportunities, research, clinical work, social mishaps, etc. etc. etc. my mind is a joyous place to live. that’s a lie. 48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Not like…passing away kind of lose, but I have had best friends that I am no longer friends with. 49: Was your last kiss a mistake?Nah, I enjoyed myself. 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?Because…I don’t actually want a relationship? Plus define like? Plus again, that social anxiety thing. 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?I…don’t…think so?52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?Literally messaging them right now. 53: What was the last thing you ate?I had some green juice thing? Hello, yes I am from LA, how could you tell? 54: Did you get any compliments today?YES BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ON TUMBLR MAKE MY HEART SING. 55: Where are you going on your next vacation?Las Vegas, I think? For Backstreet Boys! 56: Do you own anything from other countries?My brother just brought home wine from Israel, does that count? 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?I think I have a pretty good/even mix of both! 58: Where have you lived most of your life?Los Angeles. Or the surrounding cities. For all my life. 59: When was the last time you took a long drive?Vegas, a few months ago. :) 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?Once. I was in elementary school. Nothing happened. And then never again after that. 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope! That would be quite rude! 62: Who do you text the most?Lately?? I actually don’t know?? 63: What was the last movie you saw?Moonlight! 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?The fact that they don’t exist?? 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?….one? I think one? Was that 2011……? Fuck, I should ask. I literally don’t recall. 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?Nope, they’re not! 67: Do you curse around your parents?Yes, because I literally cannot help it. Don’t let me around small children. 68: Are you happy with where you live?Sure, relatively. Especially lately since there’s been actual rain! 69: Picture of yourself?http://shaynainshambles.tumblr.com/tagged/my-face70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?I think both. Which is weird. I like the intimacy of monogamous relationships and I’m a very jealous person? But also like…I like open-ended relationships because intimacy with many people, please yes. 71: Have you ever been dumped?I actually have not. 73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?Um. Yes? Again, that 2/4 people being fwb thing. 74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?the other because I’m a socially awkward fucking mess. 75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?I like hair. Also collar bones. Also arms. Also smile and eyes. And everything. People are just very pretty. 76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?@dreams–die–today, I think?? 77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?Nope! 78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?Nope!! 79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?Jack-motherfucking-septiceye. You all. Literally, you all. getting asks and comments and building a community of human beings. helping people. psychology/inspiring mental health awareness and advocacy and integration. etc. etc.  etc. 81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?I feel like that has happened more recently than ever before or ever imagined…82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?About never, actually? 83: Do you miss your last sweetie?Um….what? 84: Last time you slow danced with someone?lmfao 85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?I…think…so…? technically…? briefly??? Idk. I literally don’t know. 86: How can I win your heart?Oh, let me count the ways…figure it out ;p 87: What is your astrological sign?Leo! 88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping…89: Do you cook?I mean, if I had to, I could learn, but nope. I can steam vegetables, I am set! 90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?Technically? I often do not talk to my “old flame” for months at a time, but that’s pretty much the usual for us. 92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?I really prefer the multiple close relationship thing. Idk, about dating. Dating is weird. But. Yeah, I think time and making sure you enjoy each other’s company is good before just like…committing.93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?I don’t really. I really am finding myself far more interested in people after I start getting to know them as human beings. Like, physical attraction is great and yes, absolutely a thing. but if I’m interested in them any more than something pretty, I get invested based who they are, etc.? The more you know. 94: Name four things that you wish you had!Money, self-confidence, a supportive and engaged community, the ability to be successfully mindful and productive when I want to be. 95: Are you a player?In what way……? 96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?I….don’t think I have? 97: Are you a tease?Tad bit. Maybe. yes. sorry not sorry. I kind of love it. It’s fun to be flirty and tease and shit, man. 98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?Not yet! 99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?Not like…happily ever after kind of idea of love. But I do deeply care about people. 100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Absolutely. Ya’ll are fucking lovely. 101: Hugs or Kisses?Mmmmm. Do kisses with hugging involved count? 102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?Very much so. Hello. 103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Hair. 104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?Can be? I think it’s just a term of endearment. Which I’ve started doing, so who am I to comment. 105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?No??? That’s not okay?? Unless there was consent from all parties involved being like…yes, I am aware and in full, enthusiastic support of this. 106: Do you flirt a lot?Hello, as I’ve said, flirting is my horrible way of connecting with people and stress relief. I’m sorry. If it does bother anyone at all or make them uncomfortable at any point, please do tell me and I will not do it. 107: Your last kiss?happened?? at some point?? 108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?Nope, have not. 109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?Yes? I think it was less than a month ago? 110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?@51centurywoman and/or @thelootqueen because ya’ll are fucking incredible ;p 111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?Uh. I have an assumption but who knows? 112: Does someone like you currently?Apparently?????????????????113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?I have many feelings for people constantly. 114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?Serious flings. 115: Ever made out with just a friend?Glowing endorsement for fwb currently, yes. 116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?I’m honestly not that reliant on relationship status? I really like having people i can have fun with and be intimate with and just like..enjoy and have them enjoy. that makes me beyond happy. 117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.Opening the floor to you folks: any other questions? also, what kind of content do you like to see/hear? Also, tell me something positive that happened to you today! Let’s take a moment to focus on the good. :) 

[sky-bluepinksunset]

All the cute asks

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Nicole 
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Uhhh depends on the situation
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? You! 
4. Are you easy to get along with? I’d hope so but probably not lmao 
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Absolutely 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Look @ Tom Holland and Evelyne Brochure 
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Hope so! 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Sirius Black lmao 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who it’s with 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Think it was you 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Hahahahaha thank you! I love you too! 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Perfect - Ed Sheeran All My Loving - The Beatles Dreams - Fleetwood MacJoanna - Lady GagaI’m Yours - Alessia Cara 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? LOVE IT 
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I do I do 
15. What good thing happened this summer? Made lots of friends 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Nope 
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Definitely 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nope 
19. Do you like bubble baths? Yeah! 
20. Do you like your neighbors? They keep to themselves so it’s good lmao 
21. What are you bad habits? Chew my nails, leave cabinets open, get out of routine, don’t put up my room as much as I should 
22. Where would you like to travel? Paris, northern lights, India 
23. Do you have trust issues? Normally 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Uh just going out anytime
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My hands 
26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone and go smoke lmao 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker! 
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Saul and Matt 
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Sorta
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yeah! 
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Nope lmao, maybe a small front one 
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Tom + Evelyne 
33. Spell your name with your chin. Eve 
34. Do you play sports? What sports? I played softball and basketball for a few years!! 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without tv 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yep 
37. What do you say during awkward silences? I don’t say anything hahaha
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Not sure, there’s lots of qualities in everyone. Not looking for specific things 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Earthbound! 
40. What do you want to do after high school? Go to school for social work 
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I’d like to think so 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m normally just daydreaming 
43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeah! 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? That’s so difficult, but space 
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Dogs 
46. What are you paranoid about? Everyone’s secretly against me, my age weirdly 
47. Have you ever been high? Mhm 
48. Have you ever been drunk? Nope 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Sure 
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Blue and white! 
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Ye
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My size 
53. Favourite makeup brand? Don’t have one 
54. Favourite store? Earthbound again 
55. Favourite blog? Not sure!! Some astrology one prob 
56. Favourite colour? Pale teal and maroon 
57. Favourite food? Something Mexican prob 
58. Last thing you ate? Cheese from Paris 
59. First thing you ate this morning? The cheese yeah 
60. Ever won a competition? For what? Lots of band ones!! 
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I have not 
62. Been arrested? For what? Also haven’t 
63. Ever been in love? Yes 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Mm it was rlly awkward and a mess, but it meant a lot to me 
65. Are you hungry right now? Nope 
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No 
67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 
69. Are you watching tv right now? I’m not! 
70. Names of your bestfriends? Matt, Saul, Jamie 
71. Craving something? What? A steady sleep schedule that’s about it 
72. What colour are your towels? Teal and black 
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One 
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? I do
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? A lot more than I sleep with, prob 15 or so 
75. Favourite animal? Otters! 
76. What colour is your underwear? Light blue 
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? A topsail island one with a vw van on it 
80. What colour pants? Jeans! 
81. Favourite tv show? Orphan Black,Star Trek,SNL??
82. Favourite movie? Spider-Man Homecoming rn 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Not sure 
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Janice
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Crush 
87. First person you talked to today? My mom lmao 
88. Last person you talked to today? You 
89. Name a person you hate? Trump rlly 
90. Name a person you love? Cam 
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Sure sure 
92. In a fight with someone? Right now or?? Not really 
93. How many sweatpants do you have? None, but lots of pajama pants 
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Tons lmao 
95. Last movie you watched? IT
96. Favourite actress? Tatiana Maslany prob 
97. Favourite actor? Tom Holland probably lol 
98. Do you tan a lot? I tan easily 
99. Have any pets? Yup
100. How are you feeling? I’m good!! 
101. Do you type fast? Yes
102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yeah lmao 
103. Can you spell well? Sort of! I used to be better 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah 
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes! 
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yeah 
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Lots of times 
108. What should you be doing? Attack me w that question, but cleaning prob 
109. Is something irritating you right now? Yeah 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Sure 
111. Do you have trust issues? Sort of! 
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Uhhh Cameron I think 
113. What was your childhood nickname? BK
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah! 
115. Do you play the Wii? I used to 
116. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah! Alessia Cara
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I do 
118. Do you like Chinese food? Nope 
119. Favourite book? The Kite Runner 
120. Are you afraid of the dark? Depends, not usually 
121. Are you mean? I try not to be 
122. Is cheating ever okay? Nah 
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Nope 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in a feeling 
125. Do you believe in true love? I do 
126. Are you currently bored? Yeah lmao 
127. What makes you happy? Friendships, things going well, not having to worry 
128. Would you change your name? Don’t think so 
129. What your zodiac sign? Aries! 
130. Do you like subway? I do 
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Say nothing prob 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? You I think 
133. Favourite lyrics right now? No one knows me like the piano in my mother's homeYou would show me I have something, some people call a soul
134. Can you count to one million? Uhhh probably not without messing up 
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m not sure 
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed 
137. How tall are you? 5’11”
138. Curly or Straight hair? Curly 
139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 
140. Summer or Winter? Summer 
141. Night or Day? Night 
142. Favourite month? October 
143. Are you a vegetarian? I used to be!! Doing it again when I move 
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark 
145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 
146. Was today a good day? Yeah! 
147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers I guess? 
148. What’s your favourite quote? The stars would be proud to know they made someone like you. 
149. Do you believe in ghosts? I do 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “..hands and dances around, singing, Wait, children, wait, darlings. “

[mcrmadness]

Everyone (in case anyone has even read anything I’ve said yesterday) is probably already fed up with my migraine talks but... well, this isn’t really about migraine but more like about the mood swings that come with migraine. It can make one very hyperactive, almost maniac - or it can also cause depression-like feels and thoughts and one can become almost phlegmatic. Lately my mild migraine attacks have made me really hyperactive and “maniac” beforehand but yesterday’s strong migraine attack did the opposite. And yesterday and today I have been having the opposite feels. I do have these rolling-in-self-loath moments every now and then anyway, but migraine kinda makes them even stronger and sometimes I go through similar feelings as I did when I was depressed (or whatever that was, it was never diagnosed, but I was not healthy, for sure) and I personally do not like those feels at all. Well who the fuck would like depression anyway, I bet even the biggest masochist in the world would be like “nope” if they had to live with depression... Anyway, I don’t like these feels because like I said, they remind me of the time I was depressed or so, and I got traumas from that time (my sleeping schedule was the worst ever and I barely ate because I was never hungry and sleep felt like a waste of time) and I’m always afraid of that coming back because it was so terrible and I do not want to live that again. I have to relive it everytime I start thinking about it, and I don’t want it back. So if I don’t eat enough in a few days, that is a huge trigger to me and I start to go back to those feelings and I have to eat to make them go away.

So, if you can’t deal with self-loathing and pointless deep thoughts (that might have turned positive actually), you might want to scroll past this post right now.

So. Where to start? I have been talking about loneliness before too. How I don’t really have irl-friends (just 1 + my family and relatives + some that don’t live here) and all of my best friends I know through internet and it’s been like that since I was a teenager. Even tho, I haven’t been talking to the same people in ages but that’s not the point anyway.

I’m basically hating myself here now and I think I know now why’s that. I’m manipulative, I know. I have been talking about this before, TOO. But I really hate it how I do it. I think I’m quite a good writer and I can write things to sound more dramatic than they really are. And I feel like whenever I’m feeling lonely, I start to ramble online in hopes to be seen and talked to, because I don’t dare asking for anything. I don’t want to bother people. When I was the one to message last to everyone, that just makes me feel really desperate if I would go writing something to all of them. I try to think to myself that there is always a good reason for that. But with my traumatic past with badly ended friendships and all, I always start to question it all. I mean, why is is like that every time? I feel like people give up on me and I’m left all alone wondering what did just happen? I’m waiting for people to talk to me and one day I realize it’s been years and they never talked to me again and I’m like “...I guess we’re no longer talking, then.” I just don’t want to bother people. I always feel like that annoying sit-com character who just doesn’t understand to shut up when everyone else is already ignoring them. And this character just keeps talking and talking and talking until one of them has got enough and shouts “Will you fucking shut up for once, no one wants you here, okay???” Except that no one says that to me ever, they just go away. But it feels as if they would say so silently. Because it has happened so many times before and I always blame myself, unless it’s a case where I have actually drifted apart with someone, when it’s no one’s fault. Shit happens and so on. (And it is just healthy to understand that if something is not working like it used to before, then maybe you need to go to different directions before it goes to the point you just do nothing but argue and make each other sad and angry all the time.)

What I meant with “I’m manipulative” is that instead of doing anything real about it, e.g. contacting people, I just start rambling on Tumblr or so. And I wanna say that I’m not pointing at anyone, I’m never talking about anyone particular but just generally. Usually I will use other terms if I’m talking about someONE but this all is just generally speaking... Which is probably why I hate myself because I feel like... what I do is basically whining online so I would make people feel bad about my situation and come to talk to me. And you know what? I hate pitying. I have always hated it and I have never wanted anyone to pity me in anything. I don’t even want people to contact me out of pity or because they would feel quilty or that they HAVE TO contact me. Basically if I find out that someone is pitying me, it just makes me angry because I don’t want to bother people and I don’t want anyone to think it’s their responsibility or whatsoever. Like, we all live our own lives and I fully support that. One of the biggest realizations I have ever had and what made me take a very long jump forward with my social anxiety was when I one day just realized that I’m living MY life and I should live it for anyone else than myself. I just stopped giving a fuck and it made everything so much easier when I realized that it’s actually healthy to be a little bit selfish, as long as you don’t hurt other living things. This is why I don’t want people to pity me or feel bad for NOT talking to me because they do not live for me and they shouldn’t either, everyone should live for themselves and if I’m here whining, then let me whine but if you for any reason would feel like I’d be talking about *you*, don’t take it personally because it’s not your fault. I’m not your responsibility. Go and live your own life, other people are just extras that should bring joy into your life and if they don’t, then it’s not worth it.

I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking here right now. I’m just so... my thoughts are always so complicated. I always feel like I have so many opinions and views on the same topics which is why I often confuse other people and make it sound as if I would be lying or so. But I do confuse myself too. So if I come off very disorganized and confusing, don’t worry, I don’t understand myself either. A metaphor: I just feel like most topics are like some weird shape that looks different from every angle and I don’t look at it just from one of them, but many/all of them and I’m able to see them all and they sometimes cancel each other but not always. I’m not always sure what is my opinion on things, because I see them from different angles but I’m also able to understand other people’s views and that’s why I sometimes forget what is MY view and I might sound like I’m lying when I... just am so empath I don’t know what I REALLY think. But I swear that I never lie, I just have no clue what I think and when I do have a clue, it’s often so strong opinion I make it sound as if I’d be arrogant and thinking that I’m always right.

I have so many sides to myself. I’m too kind and always putting other people(’s needs) before mine but in some things I’m more selfish and might come off as rude and arrogant. It’s just difficult because people are like “Oh you’re such a good person and you have so good values!” and then something happens and I seem more like a bad and negative person having bad values and confusing opinions because I don’t agree with them on something or so, and they wanna change me instead. (Or maybe it’s just that I’m thiking of one old toxic friendships lol idk.)

I really have no idea what I’m trying to say here now. Probably nothing specific? This is usually my train of thought. It starts as something and ends completely oppsite. Which is probably why people often find me confusing and that I don’t have stable opinions on anything. But I feel it’s more like... minor growth all the time? Like, you don’t grow as a person so that you one day wake up and realize you’re a whole different person having different values and stuff. It all happens bit by bit and sometimes just writing down things like this can change you and your views on the world and yourself. It’s why I write anyway, I see everything so much clearer when I write. It’s almost like having a session with a therapist but I’m also the therapist. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes not so good but I feel like this text was... okay? I don’t actually know if I’m gonna post this publicly or not. I feel like this is so personal that this could be more like a regular diary note but I don’t write diary because it makes me angry and incredibly sad because I’m the only person reading and I just imagine writing to my older self and every nice person and thing is gone and dead and I just can’t deal with actual diaries. So I write publicly on the internet instead. It helps me stay in the present (and past).

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Holii! Yesterday your inbox was hungry again and ate the ask number 8 :( (i don’t really know if the problem lies on your inbox or im doing something wrong when sending the asks tbh). Im sending it again only bcs it was the first part of the two asks i send about my sister, and maybe getting only half of it doesn’t make that much sense. You don’t have to answer, it just bothered me, sorry xd

Awwwww, I have customer that always says holiiiii!!! When she comes. And now she reminds me of you, jajajaa. But I read your holiii!!! with her voice 😅. I counted yesterday asks and there were 10, so maybe this time the problem was in your end 😝😝?? I see we’re both geeks of tech things,jajajajaja. Also, where is the message about your sister again??? jajajajajaj 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ what a pair. I thinks is just Tumblr, that is shit… jajaja

I saw the video of SOOT/Durkink. I wasn’t expecting that and i laughed too loud. JAJAJAJA. Also, i don’t know if you have instagram, but did you see Liam’s stories? He tried singing JBalvin parts and it was a mess. I guess they can now understand my struggle. He looked so lost, poor baby. That was even better than “una sacapuntas”. 😂 Anyway, i’m going to answer you now. (oh, and i’m sorry but for me its no under the cut. No even if i log in and read it on my dash).

Jajajajajja, it was very funny, wasn’t it? I’m gonna tag you in everything that makes me laugh,jajajajaja. Awwww, liam was so cuteeeee. I laughed so much as his puppy face. He looked so lost. He was so convinced he was talking Spanish… ayyyyyy. It’s a 10 for the effort. I kept thinking: that’s how I must sound singing in English,jjajajaja.

Here we go. Okay, first of all,i have to say that this new distribution was so confusing the first time i read dit, bcs it took me a while to figure out what were my asks and what were your answers, so at times i started reading and went…uuumh, that sounds familiar, i could have written that. Waaait… 🤦 🤦 🤦 Quite lame, jajajajaja. (1)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT MESS!!! I wrote everything in a note. And your asks were in bold. And when I started I thought: remember to check later that it stays this way on tumblr!! Butttttt, when the time came I was SO SLEEPY!!! I totally forgot!!! 😅😅. So, I’ll go back to normal this time, just in case (though I’m writing it the same way. I hope I don’t forget later🙏🏻). Also, I wanted to tell you a lot more, but I forgot everything,jajaja.

Yees, im feeling better, thanks for asking

Well, if it was fatigue, you have the whole weekend to rest. Hope your feeling better. Lol, I feel the same, jejeje, when I see you’ve messaged me, I’m like: how do I let her know I’ve read it, but I can’t answer now??? Asjkxs;sjdhcbuidsljd

I’ve been streaming it since yesterday, and imo is not bad. There’s only one sentence im feeling a bit ambivalent about, bcs im picky like that, but i think its quite good. I cant wait to hear it on the radio and tell everybody “THATS MY SON”(My friends are gonna freak out when they discover that for once, i know the lyrics of a JBalvin song. JAJAJAJ). You have to work 10h each day? That’s a long shift. Is that your usual schedule or is only this weekend? Espero que te sea leve 😘 (3)

I heard it again today, for a bit. And it isn’t reggeatton exactly? It doesn’t have that rhythm that I hate, jajjaja. So I think I’ll be able to listen to it. I haven read the lyrics yet, so I can’t tell you anything about it :/ Same about my friends,jajajjaa. I think mine are gonna be more shocked about me knowing a song in Spanish,jajajaja. They’re always teasing about not liking Spanish music. Which is not true, but well… 🤷🏻‍♀️ What sentence you don’t like? And my shit is parted, so al least I have a couple of hour of rest. It’s how small shops work. So 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t have to be back till next Saturday, so… jajajajaja

Ohhh. (I see what you did with IICF lyrics. Smart girl). I was indeed paying attention. I swear. I took notes and answered you at the same time. I’m used to take notes of the subjects while doing essays, so it wasnt hard. Your taxes are on safe hands, don’t worry. My indecisiveness help me broke the system. You choose the pink??? Well done!💖 (4. I think? Why do i lost track so easily?)

How lucky you are, you can pay attention to more than one thing. If smartphones and SM had been a thing back on my student days, I would have failed everything. In fact I did. The first time I had internet at home, I was 15. Oh god! The memories. Back then, Terra’s chat (that you probably don’t know what it is. I myself, don’t remember exactly either) was very popular to talk to people. I met a guy. Ah! My first real crush. We talked everyday via Messenger!! Awwww, he was 17. We talked so much… jajajajajaja I was pretty obsessed. We talked from 6pm (it was when my internet started to be cheaper), till 12am (bc we both had to wake up early the next morning. Oh my god!!!!! Jajjajaja. One day I told him my real age (he thought I was 16), and then we lost contact. Ay! my first love,jajajaja. We never met. ANYWAY!! This all just to tell you that I failed 6/11 class subjects that the first trimester!! It was the first time I had failed ANY class! And ended failing the whole year 🤦🏻‍♀️. So, good for me to not have had an iPhone back then,jajajaja.

Yes me too. With some of the shirts from Harry’s merch I feel like they didn’t even try. Lyrics with a font that looks like Times New Roman… Really? And yes. They are expensive. You haven’t decided it yet? Do they usually have the same things that in the web? Do they have more As you see, im not very versed in merchandising or concerts. Enlighten me pls. (I must say, i’m loving the Honey updates). (5).

I don’t even know what/where/IF they sell merch at Niall’s concert. I would think they do, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think I’d buy a shirt. I have the shirt Steve sold for JHO (all black, with Louis and Steve’s silhouettes on the breast, and  just hod on written in the back); and the shirt of Harry’s concert. So I’ll like to have one for each of the boys. I’ll see.jejeje.

Yes, it makes perfect sense. I totally get it. When I first heard OMO I thought “lol, me”. And when i heard Mirrors i though “not so lol. Me too”. I was so touched when he explained what was the reason that made him wrote Mirrors. He is too pure. We are so lucky to have him. After hearing your story i can assure you; i’m never going to get a lip ring. Never. Do you still have it to this day? 9 ear piercings? I still have to find the energy to go and get a 2nd one. (6)

One of the things I’m loving about the hiatus, it’s my new love for Niall. When I first knew the band I thought: I can understand why people like all the boys, but Niall? What’s is there to like??? And oh girl, was I wrong! In my humble opinion, he’s the one who’s having the best solo career. Not based in awards or anything like that ( I don’t think successfulness is marked with that). But I don’t know, he’s making a name for him. He had it so “difficult”. Because when people heard his name, they didn’t put a face or a gossip story behind it. But step by step his making himself known, and I’m very proud. And I love his music. And I love to hear him talking in interviews. And those work out sessions are paying off, ajajajajajjaaajsj. So, all my respect to him. (To te rest too, eh 😜)9 ear piercing plus the ones you “get born” with!!! Jajaja. Those were the 00s,jajjajaja.

Well, they cant be much cheaper than now, right? Bcs now we have to pay for separate tickets. That way would be just 1. Let’s see. They would play all of their songs from Four. Almost all of the tracks from Made in the AM and MM. Compulsorily. But i let them have creative license choosing which songs from UAN & TMH they want to play. Im no dictator. What about you? What would you choose? A camera? Which kind of camera? I’m sure you’ll use it again. There’s plenty of occasions, trips & so. (6)

See? I was very sleepy, I didn’t thought about that. It would be just one ticket, not four like now. I seriously hate them. They only want me for my money 😡😡😂😂😂😂. My setlist would have to have! Over Again (indispensable), Four’s songs, MITAM’s songs, solo’s songs. Also, the stage would be small, so they had to talk with each other and walk around each other. And I don’t know, I just want them back together, jajajja. The camera I bought is the LUMIX TZ70. I saw someone has posted videos of Harry’s concert from very far away, but it was only his face. Like it had a big BIG zoom. And I went to their IG, and they had the name of their camera as a bio,jajaja, bc people asked them too much. So I looked it up in Amazon. And I bought it. Mymy. Now I only have to go on trips and those things to use it…😅.

Right direction? What a responsibility. Idk. All that topics are really related to what im studying, so i just learn about it in class, and then, outside the classroom, i read as many articles and books as i can. I just read whatever seems interesting to me. Sorry i’m useless. What i wanted to say is that im no expert on any of that subjects, but i find them interesting. Thats all. (Your mom cant recognise Liam? Im surprised bcs Liam has quite a distinctive voice, at least to me). (7)

I think it is interesting. I’d love to know a lot more. I just like to learn new things. And I love when people tell and explain me things when I’ve said something wrong. So, that’s what I meant, jejej, that if I ever say something wrong, feel free to call me out on it, please.I don’t know why she can’t recognize his voice!! She just says: it’s not this or that, so it has to be him,jajajaa. (I need your opinion on zayn and j Bieber, before I go on with this,jajaja).

JAJAJAJ. Sadly i get too many “hmmm, if you want…” with my friends. And they are usually followed by “You all are crazy”. But yeah, whatever. I’m living my truth. I’ll definitely come and talk to you. Dont worry. (8),

Yes please!! You’re always welcomed here with every wild thought you have!! Jajja. I’ll do the same. I’ll write tags post to you whenever I have something to tell you, jajajaja. Now, I’m gonna check my inbox again, to make sure I had t left any ask without  answer. You sent 12 asks today?? You’re amazing!! Thanks!! Ayayayay!!! I have to talk to you about a fic I’m reading. I haven’t finish it yet, but girl! It’s one of those I’ve had to stop reading bc it was to cute!!! I have even hugged my iPad  because I couldn’t hug Louis,jajaja. Do you read fics?? If that… lets talk, jajajajajja.Last, Honey came to say hello a while back. Their cousins (my sister’s dog) is spending the weekend here with them, because my sister is on a trip, so it will be an eventful weekend, I’m sure, jajajaja.Byeeeee Love!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Pd: answering to the last thing you said yesterday :) LOU IS BACK!!! But how predictable that was!!! Jajajja. Even I said we would see him now that Harry was  a world away. Anyway, I love seeing his face. Can’t wait for what it’s to come!! Bring it!! Jajajja

[loving-villanelle]

You should do the even numbers!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

-It really just depends. If I’m meeting you for the first time or I’m in a situation/place where I do not feel comfortable, I am shy. But once I get to know and i’m in my element, I can be very outgoing

4. Are you easy to get along with?

-I think I am very easy to get along with. I am very chill and laid back, so as long as you aren’t super problematic (in which case you probably would find me not so easy to get along with cuz i’m not one to just let things slide), then we’d get along just peachy :)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

-Oh jeez…this is kind of hard because I don’t think I necessarily have a “type”. I guess you just have to be a decent person and share similar views with me. It’s not that I need someone to have the carbon copy beliefs that I do, but they do need to be in the same ballpark because people’s morals and convictions are a huge part of who they are and something that is very important to me

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

-Uhhh…I guess one of my coworkers?? Just because he’s the last male i’ve talked to lol

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

-Strange thing but i actually had an old classmate from high school message me the either day…literally haven’t seen or talked to her since HS graduation which was 8 years ago (god i feel so old). Anyway, I liked a politically charged post she put on Facebook and that started a late-night, really in depth conversation between us

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

- 1) No Promises-Cheat Codes feat. Demi Lovato, 2) Wish I Knew You-The Revivalists, 3) Feel It Still-Portugal. The Man, 4) Slow Hands-Niall Horan, 5) What About Us-Pink

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

-Yes and no, I think some things happen by chance but for the most part, more is in our control than we realize

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

-Yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

-No

20. Do you like your neighbors?

-I can’t say I talk to them much but they don’t cause problems so they’re good lol

22. Where would you like to travel?

-Europe is definitely on my bucket list

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

-When I get to leave work! Lol

26. What do you do when you wake up?

-Well at the risk of TMI, the very first thing I usually do when I wake up is pee lol. But then I normally eat breakfast

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

-Comfortable? What’s that? Lol. Uhmm…my best friend probably

30. Do you ever want to get married?

-Probably not. If I ever find my someone and they really wanted to get married I would, but it’s not necessarily a dream or want/need of mine

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

-Like if I could have a threesome, which two celebrities would I pick? Or what celebrities would I have a threesome with as in me, the celebrity and some rando? Idk…Sara Ramirez and Channing Tatum would probably be my top picks

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

-I don’t really play sports anymore, but I used to play soccer for years. I’ve actually been wanting to get back into it but with my work schedule (I work 2nd shift), it’s impossible to join a league

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

-Ha, story of my life

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

-Someone with a heartbeat :p

40. What do you want to do after high school?

-I refuse to dignify this with a response

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

-I’m tired, I’m upset, I’m hurt or I’m uncomfortable

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

-Outer space

46. What are you paranoid about?

-EVERYTHING lol. But lately I think I’ve kinda felt like life is moving on without me. Like…when I was younger i just thought I would be in a different place in life than I am right now and the more time passes, the worse that feeling gets

48. Have you ever been drunk?

-You betcha 

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

-Black

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

-I only get one? Lol. My ability to put myself out there

54. Favourite store?

-It used to be Vanity but they went bankrupt *cries*

56. Favourite colour?

-Blue

58. Last thing you ate?

-A Goodness Knows bar

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

-I placed at a Science fair in junior high that sent me to the regional science fair where I also placed. I also won a competition in junior high that sent me to the school spelling bee but then i proceeded to lose that so lol

62. Been arrested? For what?

-Never been arrested

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

-Honestly, it was pretty gross cuz I was way younger than the guy that I kissed. He really had no business being involved with someone my age. So it’s not the cutesy story some people have/hope for

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

-I don’t know if I’d say more than, but just as much as yes. I think I share different connections with each group for different reasons

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

-Tumblr

70. Names of your best friends? 

-Mary, Angie, Kay and Jess are probably my closest friends

72. What colour are your towels?

-Uhhh…are all my towels supposed to be the same color? Cuz they’re not…and probably too many to list. Blue, brown, purple, cream, etc.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? (Yes, there were 2 #72′s)

-Three (2 sit side by side forming a horizontal base then I have one main pillow on top)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

-Way more than I should (I had an ex basically wipe out a claw machine for me once and I’ve just never bothered to get rid of them lol)

76. What colour is your underwear?

-Black

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

-Chocolate chip cookie dough or peanut butter fudge

80. What colour pants?

-I’m not wearing any pants…

82. Favourite movie?

-The Vow

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

-Mean Girls

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

-Dory

88. Last person you talked to today?

-My BFF

90. Name a person you love?

-My nephew

92. In a fight with someone?

-No

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

-Oh goodness, I’d say at least a dozen

96. Favourite actress?

-Sara Ramirez

98. Do you tan a lot?

-I have literally never tanned a day in my life. Burn and peel is my burden to bear with my pale ass skin lol

100. How are you feeling?

-Indifferent

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

-Where do I begin

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

-Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

-Yes

108. What should you be doing?

-Sleeping probably

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

-Yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

-I’m not one to let people see me cry so I really don’t know

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

-Yes, I am fortunate enough to have traveled quite a bit

116. Are you listening to music right now?

-I have Pandora playing in the background

118. Do you like Chinese food?

-LOVE it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

-Not really. Sometimes if I’ve watched something creepy I’ll be a little more on edge

122. Is cheating ever okay?

-No. I personally do not believe that there is ever a justifiable reason for cheating

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

-No, however lust at first sight is definitely a thing and I think people can mistake that lust for love

126. Are you currently bored?

-Somewhat

128. Would you change your name?

-I would..I’ve never been particularly crazy about it

130. Do you like subway?

-I assume this question is referring to the sub shop? Not particuarly…I prefer Jersey Mikes

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

-Wasn’t this already a question?

134. Can you count to one million?

-Can I? Yes. Will I? Only if I get a dollar for every number lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

-I sleep with my door cracked

138. Curly or Straight hair?

-Lion’s mane hair! It’s definitely not straight, so I guess curly but wavy, staticky mess is more accurate

140. Summer or Winter?

-Can I pick in between…Autumn

142. Favourite month?

-October

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

-Dark chocolate

146. Was today a good day?

-It was just a regular day

148. What’s your favourite quote?

-The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched…they must be felt with the heart-Helen Keller

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

-”It was a huge and wonderful surprise when the Snicker commercial turned up as the first spot on the Super Bowl.” (Betty White book lol)

Phew! Goodness, thank you!!