#one i didn’t have access to bc it was sent to my work email

[puppiedogs]

i called the ssa office to ask something and in the pre-recorded message they say, like it’s not fucking Insane, “if you’re calling with regards to a disability claim, due to a staffing shortage, current processing times for disability claims are between 250 and 300 days, after which it will take three to four weeks for you to receive your decision by mail” as though that’s just something that happens whoopsie sorry about that like die actually. how do these people sleep at night

[ticklystuff]

hi i know i’m on hiatus but i need to vent bc it’s nearly 10 pm and i’ve been at work for 12+ hours dealing with an actual nutcase

Okay, so there was a mama goose that laid her eggs on the third floor balcony of one of the buildings at work and they hatched back in April and I have posted about them a few times. Since there are no resources on a third floor balcony for them, one woman started feeding them lettuce and grass clippings from her yard and then a couple other people, me included, started helping her feed them too. Everything was fine for the first month.

Eventually, the facilities manager caught on. For some reason, she believes they can fly (they cannot) and has posted signs saying to stop giving them food and water. They clearly cannot fly because they have their baby feathers, but this woman will not believe anyone that tells her. The woman that started feeding them initially got caught and had her third floor badge access revoked, so the rest of us have been smuggling food and water up there. It has been very stressful because facilities has been throwing food away that we’ve been storing, so we’ve resorted to hiding the food in different places, and they’ve been throwing the geese’s water bowls and will sometimes station security guards by the geese to prevent people from feeding them and then we will have to wait for the security guards to leave, which can be really late in the evening.

Today, my co-worker sent the facilities manager an email regarding the geese and potentially relocating them. The facilities manager calls her and tells her that they don’t need to be relocated because they can fly off on their own. My co-worker then asks “Well, what if you’re wrong and they can’t fly?” but the facilities manager just laughed and repeated that they can fly. 

I went up earlier to check on them and heard a loud noise coming from the geese area and initially thought some construction going on. When I get there, I see the facilities manager and three guys blasting music with a stereo to the balcony where the geese are. I go up to one of the guys and ask him what they’re doing and the guy is like “We’re trying to scare the geese away, but some of them seem like babies so they can’t fly” and I’m like no fucking shit. Facilities manager comes up to me and asks if I’m here to see the geese and I tell her no and that I was just stretching my legs and heard a loud noise. She then tells me “Well we’re having a party up here with the geese!” and I’m like “HA HAHAHA ROFLOLMAO XDDDDD” and then I leave. She is still up there trying to scare them away, but obviously they cannot leave. She is still blasting music at almost 10 pm and I am waiting for her to hopefully leave so I can give them food.

This other woman that has been feeding the geese goes up after I do and she sees the facilities manager. She goes up to her and starts having a conversation about the geese and she asks her are they going to be relocated and the facilities manager tells her no and that she’s gonna wait for them to fly. When the woman tells her that it takes about 8 weeks for them to learn to fly, the facilities manager asks her how she does she know these bird facts. The woman tells her that she just looked it up on the internet and the facilities manager says “Is everyone an internet doctor these days?” and it’s like bITCH YOU ARE LITERALLY STANDING IN THE RESEARCH BUILDING TALKING TO PEOPLE THAT DO RESEARCH FOR A LIVING WTF DO U MEAN BY THIS HAVE U NEVER GOOGLED BASIC SHIT BEFORE??????????

Honestly, yeah, you should not be feeding wildlife, but also, the facilities manager did nothing to help relocate them when they were born so they were probably going to starve up there if the initial feeder didn’t step in. I cannot for the life of me understand why she still refuses to relocate them

Anyway, still waiting for her to leave. I refuse to leave until I can feed them because they haven’t eaten all day and no one will be able to come in over the weekend to feed them because the heating/cooling system at work is being worked on, so they’re not allowing employees access this weekend and I wish to give them something in preparation for the long weekend. Wish me luck that I don’t get caught *sobs*

If I come back to dead geese on Monday, I’m going to rip the facilities manager to shreds *sigh*

[cezulian]

omg what do you mean by The Misfortunes

My email got hacked and it was a hotmail account so like the way hotmail was set up or at least mine was was that even when I went to reset it I couldn’t like get back i to it because I had to confirm it from WITHIN THE LOCKED EMAIL???? It was so fucking stupid but there was literally nothing I could do.

And tumblr had just done its whole “oops you need to reset your password from the email we sent the account linked to this one” So for MONTHS I was corresponding with tumblr trying to figure out how to get back into my shit without access to the email. Like I literally even talked to a specific guy and said “listen man. Lets homebrew this. Here is the link to my account’s tag with all the pics of my face I ever posted and anything mentioning my name. And now I am going to take a picture of my driver’s license and then one of my driver’s license next to my face. I made posts about where I worked too. Here’s a picture of me with my license in my work uniform. You ask for another specific and I will give it, I’ll take a picture with a handwritten note in the same room of my house that the other pics of me were taken, just give me my shit back PLEASE” and they told me they couldn’t.

I get that these guys had their hands tied like I don’t blame them, they were trying to abide by policy to keep their jobs but like. I had friends from that account, two in particular who remade all the time, and I can’t ever find them again. One of them I met at a Homestuck thing and we’d been friends for like 6 years by that point and now they’re just gone. Fuckin bullshit. I had some friends on there who I was maybe in a rough place with too and was gonna try and patch stuff up with but nope. Goodbye forever. And this was when I was still a teenager so like I didn’t have contact with online friends bc I didn’t want my mom to know so its not like I had anyone’s number or anything. Thus, the Misfortunes.

[loldental]

Haha lol I can’t switch my application from transfer student to mature student but I can’t apply as a transfer student because I can’t access my TRANSCRIPT from my old university due to owing them like 1500$ from a semester I dropped out of bc I went crazy and got hospitalized and then did crack and like I had emailed them pre hospital asking to appeal the owing of money and they said no to even filing an appeal which is BULLSHIT bc straight Erin got her whole ass semester appealed anyways I sent old uni this long ass rude ass email saying they didn’t hold up to anythjg they stated about caring about the health / mental health and well being of their students and told them to fuck off and that I was gonna kill myself then get revived and transfer universities but the joke is on ME because now it’s 4 years later and I can’t even transfer and those sluts KNEW that when I sent the email

Other than that back a few days ago when i was still excited about applying as a mature student I realized that I’m more likely than not gonna relapse to adderall addiction if I’m in school again and I’m not going to be any better at it just because I’m older and if by some miracle I graduate I will NOT be able to hold down a job because I don’t even think I can go back to part time working at the mall right now. I just can’t be around people I can’t do it.

ALSO the main reason I applied to school in the first place was to get insurance because Canada so like. Now I just have to leap into faith that I’ll magically get a doctor in a new province faster than I got one in my own !

Anyways like I’m not going to kill myself or whatever but im drinking margarita asap and crying about things becquse i still cant produce tears sober

[yakultstanreblog]

I ain't scared, I just thought I might get the most best answer this way..I'm wondering what poet or poem you read (or were read in your childhood) that had you looking for more and aspiring to write your own? If it was a traumatic event, I feel you there. .it can really help to read a complete stranger's words of pain, when they harmonize with our own. I admit, I have only read a couple of your poems but I love your voice, keep on keepin on ☮️ 🕉 💛

HAHA DW I LOVE ANONS <33333 I encourage it.

HONESTLY no poetry inspired me to write poetry (IRONIC) I thought I hated poetry!!!! I’ve written many things since I was a kid but always been more of an essay kinda dude..I attempted to read poetry a few times over my lifetime and mostly it made no sense to me..I thought it was just a bunch of pretentious ppl flexing their advanced vocab (which honestly I lack bc of a whole other story I won’t get into and maybe I was just jealous) - the only time I wrote a poem was back in final yr of highschool lit class when my brain was malnourished af and writing it made me want to kms plus I had major imposter syndrome (and then my lovely grandma went and sent it in to a poetry magazine without me knowing and it got published and still I didn’t think poetry was for me) only in more recent times I no longer have access to a psych who I can send weekly 3000 word emails to and I needed to do something so that I would stop driving myself completely insane bc I also live alone 4hrs from family and no friends so have noone to save me but myself so I started writing every day on wattpad like a digital diary entry(today was day 118 in a row) then I started to see others who had written poetry and combined w the fact that I’ve come very far over the yrs in terms with perfectionism (as in not needing to be) I found myself in a place realising that poetry didn’t have to be “good” and that I could just make it work for me. I could just write for myself. To get things out (even tho it’s only like 5% of my mind). It didn’t need to look impressive for others etc like what I used to think poetry did… so yeah basically poetry is just my budget therapy now and a tool to prevent me from ending things :))))) everything I write about (so far, at time of writing) is from real life experience and I love using it as an outlet to say the things that wouldn’t be taken so well if they were said out loud.. cause everyone has some sort of darker side whether they are exposed to it or not and whilst I do hold onto a lot of hope I love being able to have an outlet to get the rot out of me or at least create something with it so it’s not completely useless and all consuming. ALSO I think it’s cool that poetry allows you to turn your words into art. I’ve always loved art and ppl consider me arty or whatevs but I can’t draw or paint (well - not that it matters) so this is kinda something that comes more naturally to me! (I’ve only been writing poetry for 4 months now so hopefully I can only get better)… AND THANK THE LORD in the meantime as I have come to write my own poetry I am now able to appreciate other people’s poetry, I can understand it more, I can be inspired by it, I can admire it. I get it now. Or at least I think I’m starting to get it…. But to answer ur question l wouldn’t say it was a singular traumatic event which inspired it but rather a combined experience of like 20 genuinely traumatic events combined with being neurodiverse & a lifetime of various mental illnesses which I wouldn’t say are all treated etc. and quite honestly having read NOTHING in the past which resonated with the depth of my own experience so I thought you know what I know I can’t be the only one feeling this, I’m gonna try write my own! If I can’t read it I’ll write it and hope I can be that for someone else I guessss

SOZ FOR RANT IDK HOW TO STFU AND THANK YOU FOR READING A FEW OF MY POEMS AND THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION ILY HAVE A LOVELY DAY <33

[luvteez]

bassists do it deeper

pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k

note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 

A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)

That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.

You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.

“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”

“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”

“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”

“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”

Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”

And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.

“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”

The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”

You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)

The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”

You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.

“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.

“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”

“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.

“Talent. Believe it or not.”

“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.

Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”

“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.

“Listen up, you piec—“ 

“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.

“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.

“I’m not that short—!”

“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”

World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.

“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.

Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”

A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.

“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.

Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”

And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.

“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.

Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.

When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.

That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.

But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.

As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:

Yunho is good.

While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.

He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?

Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.

It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.

You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.

exhibitionism

getting off in public

best crowded places to have sex and get away with it

You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.

When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.

Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.

You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.

This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.

To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.

This is absolutely bonkers. But:

You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.

Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.

Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.

“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.

San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”

“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”

“A cricket? Are you serious?”

“I’m tired, okay!”

“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”

“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”

“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”

In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).

Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.

“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.

“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”

“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”

His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”

There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.

You can’t, but your proof will do the job.

“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”

Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.

Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.

“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.

You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.

“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.

“As long as nobody notices—”

“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”

“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.

“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”

“Just get to it.”

The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”

Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.

“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”

“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”

“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”

That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.

“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“You could never, sub.”

Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.

Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.

“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.

Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 

When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.

“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.

“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.

“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.

“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”

You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.

Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.

“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.

You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.

“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”

“So you have a size kink.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”

“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.

He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.

“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”

The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.

“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.

“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”

“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”

You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.

“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.

“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.

If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.

You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:

“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”

“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”

He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.

“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”

You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.

The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.

“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.

“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”

“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.

It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.

“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”

“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”

Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?

“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.

Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.

“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.

Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.

“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”

Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.

It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.

As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.

You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”

“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”

He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”

“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.

“He’ll still kill you.”

“I appreciate the concern, honey.”

“Just scram back to practice.”

“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”

“I can do it myself.”

“Oh really?”

“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”

Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.

“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.

Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”

“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”

[lesbeet]

how have you learned more about prose? i’ve mostly written poetry but i’m falling into prose poetry, creative nonfiction, and fiction a lot more now

another anon sent this:

“hey! i know this is a pretty big question so no pressure to respond ofc but ive been trying to get better at editing, especially with nanowrimo this year, and seeing you talk about it with LE's book, i was just wondering if you had any tips for strengthening your editing? thanks either way”

so i’m just gonna answer them together if that’s cool!

-

i have several books i’m gonna recommend first, and if you can access them i would absolutely suggest starting there:

first is the anatomy of story by john truby (here’s a pdf copy, but i would recommend a hard copy if possible, mostly for formatting reasons). this is much less about writing prose and much more about....well, the anatomy of a story. i’m not exaggerating when i say this book completely revolutionized the way i look at storytelling and macro-level story organization. i’ve always been able to hold my own when it came to making a sentence sound nice, but for a long time i had very little concept of story mechanics from a writer’s perspective, rather than from a reader’s perspective—you need both to write a good story. i could honestly wax poetic about this book all day so i’ll move on for now, but for real if you want more info just ask bc i’d love to discuss it further

next is the first five pages: a writer’s guide to staying out of the rejection pile by noah lukeman. unfortunately i don’t have a digital copy to link, but i’m pretty sure i found this one at half-price books for a very reasonable price. i would say i knew about half of what this book had to offer prior to reading, but what i learned from the rest has been incredibly helpful with my prose writing ever since. some of it was just that it was my first exposure to seeing someone explicitly write out certain concepts (for example, there’s a whole bit on adverbs that goes far beyond stephen king’s useless “i believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs” quote that doesn’t actually explain WHY they’re largely ineffective, and i’ve cut down my use of them dramatically since then. not here obviously slkfjksjsd but in my actual writing that i go back and edit), but i read through it again sometime early on during quarantine and i still highly recommend it. there are some fantastic examples he uses to demonstrate his points, and there are also writing/editing exercises at the end of each chapter that are pretty great

the last book i’ll recommend is self-editing for fiction writers: how to edit yourself into print by renni brown and dave king (again i don’t have a digital copy but i either read it through my library or through scribd, bc i remember reading it on my phone and screenshotting a whole bunch of stuff). i think i actually wrote some posts a while back when i was reading this one; i’ve only read it once so i don’t know it as well as the first two books i recommended, but i remember being impressed with it because it touched on concepts that i really hadn’t seen elsewhere, even after spending hours upon hours combing through writing advice blogs/websites that mostly recycled the same handful of truisms. if i’m remembering correctly, this one also has some great exercises to try out

-

as far as prose writing, i think the most helpful tip i can give you (aside from “use every word you read as a learning experience”) is to remember that above all, writing is communication. every single word you use or omit carries its own denotations and connotations, and context is everything. analyze and over-analyze both your own work and the work of others until you find that you're able to recognize and understand why certain things were written the way they were written (particularly for something like a novel or even an advertisement, where the words have been heavily edited, rather than like. an email or something). what was the writer attempting to communicate or achieve? were they successful? what worked effectively? what didn't, and how might it have been changed to make it more effective? most importantly, how do you know these things? (in other words, it's not enough to be able to identify what needs changing, or even what the/a solution would be. you need to know WHY it needs changing, and why those possible changes make it more effective. i try to do this for my clients when editing; i've found that explaining my suggestions/changes results in far less pushback than when they think i just changed it bc i didn't like how it sounded originally or something lol). knowing the intention of a piece of writing is also crucial--sometimes a sentence that works perfectly in one context would be nonsensical in another.

but in addition to analyzing for effectiveness, analyze for taste! make note of certain writers or books or sentences or lines of poetry that stand out to you, either because you hate them or because you love them (the latter is more useful imo). you'll probably start to see patterns. try to figure out what it is about that prose that you find so compelling. is it vivid imagery? unique uses of figurative language? starkness and clarity? (those are some of mine; your own preferences may vary.) chances are that once you've begun to develop your own unique voice as a writer, these qualities that you admire will show up, with your own personal flavor, in your writing. likewise, once you can identify exactly what it is in someone else's writing that doesn't work for you, the better you'll be able to avoid it in your own writing.

above all, practice. practice active reading, practice analyzing, practice writing, practice analyzing your own writing.

-

ik some of that is vague advice, but it seemed like you were asking how to learn, rather than for specific tips. i can share some of those too if you'd like, just shoot me another ask :)

most of what's here is applicable to both asks, about editing and about prose writing in particular. structure is a whole separate beast (but is definitely relevant to learning how to be a better editor) but i'd be happy to discuss that further as well.

i really hope this is helpful! i'm always always open to answer more questions :)

[badfey]

is there anything u wish u had known pre-top surgery? I’m trying to schedule mine next yr and I’m worried I rushed into picking my surgeon even tho I looked at a Lot. I’ve got a list of questions to ask but curious if there’s anything you can think of! Thanks, if u get a chance to reply 🥺

firstly congrats and good luck with your top surgery, i hope the wait goes quickly!!

There were a lot of things i wasn’t expecting about top surgery - not necessarily that i wish i’d known in advance, just that i didn’t anticipate. I wrote a document of them not long after surgery which ill post soon and link back to here :) right now ill go through the main stuff i wish i had known, and any questions i had (under a cut because it got long)

Stuff I Wish I’d Known

Some of this depends on how your surgeon does things. I had 6 days before my post-op appointment w chest reveal. 

That first week is tough. Ymmv, but for me it was really hard. I knew that post-op depression was a thing, i didn’t realise what it would feel like. For me it was a lot of being tired and not being able to sleep because of not being able to get comfortable (having to sleep elevated for a few days & pain), so getting more tired and bored but too fatigued to do anything in that classic frustrating cycle. Once i slept decently for the first time i felt human again (nytol is a lifesaver). It’s also tough bc ur sweaty n uncomfortable and u haven’t showered or taken off the post-op binder for a week, and with the dressings and swelling it doesn’t feel like its really happened yet? After chest reveal thats a lot easier

Sometimes moving around you’ll feel something like pull or pop and you get so so paranoid about pulling a stitch i seriously thought id pulled a stitch but its usually like the dressings adhesion or something, you don’t need to freak out. My best friend here was this uk trans fb group because i could search and find years of posts with ppl having the same problems, or ask and ppl would give advice and calm me down, so it’s good to join a community like that ready for if you inevitably get stressed about something (also good for post-op boredom)

You cant use your arms to move. Sounds obvious but like i never realised how much i reflexively rely on using arms to move sitting positions on a bed, and how you need to pay attention to override that impulse. 

Peeing after anesthetic is weirdly hard. It really helps if you practise consciously releasing the specific muscles to pee beforehand 

I was so hungry. I got fed sure (great food too) but i wish i had taken snacks. 

Questions to ask

Im gonna list some stuff that you may already know/have on your list but it might help fill any gaps :) 

When are your post-ops? Are they included in the surgery price? Mine were at 6 days (chest reveal) and 8 weeks (normally 6 weeks but my surgeon was on holiday lol) and both included in the price of surgery (which is standard for here i think). Its good to have rough timeframes in advance so you can plan around it.

Ask about revisions - are they included in the price, what is the timeframe you can get revisions for, how you would start the revision process if you need it? Hopefully you won’t need it but its important to know just in case & so you don’t need to worry about it. I think my surgeon got a bit touchy when I brought up revisions but i was just clear that if I’m getting this surgery and paying a lot of money for it i need to know this stuff in advance which as a professional he should be fine with.

Can you have a say in scar shape and/or nipple size? Usually you can, and this is often at the pre-op when they draw all over your chest before surgery. Don’t feel like you can't weigh in - this is your chest. Also even at consultation they might be able to give you an idea of what your scar/s will look like. 

If you’re getting nipple grafts, ask about their graft success rate!! I was super stressed about my nipples falling off, but my surgeon said that even though stats say about 10% of nipple grafts r unsuccessful, in practise he sees a much smaller percentage than that, and even ones that do reject often grow back (lmk if u wanna know more what i mean) or can just be easily touched up with tattooing. Also if theres anything they recommend for graft success.

Does your surgeon recommend using arnica? Arnica is a homeopathic remedy for bruising, swelling, and wound healing. There’s differing views on whether it actually works, but in my case i took arnica tablets 1 week before and 2 weeks post-op and i think it really helped. They also tasted nice. Some people use arnica gel to aid healing once you can start massaging. 

Where will you be for overnight recovery? Will you be on a ward or in a room? Do you have access to a TV? Do you have access to a plug socket or charging point? Do you get wifi? Chances are you’ll be bored at some point over the time you’re in there, especially if you struggle sleeping. It’s good to know whats available in advance so you can come with things to keep you entertained. 

Does your surgeon use drains? You probably already know/have an idea of this bc its something a lot of ppl consider when choosing surgeons, buts its good to know if you don’t. Also, it can change - I chose my surgeon partially because he only uses overnight drains so you don’t have to deal with them in recovery. When i was there i found out he has stopped using drains altogether for smaller guys so i never actually had them (pleasant surprise). 

Does your surgeon want you to wear a post-op binder? Do they supply the binder? Post-op binders r a good idea they stop swelling soo much, so even if your surgeon doesn’t recommend it i’d definitely ask if it’d be safe for you to wear one. You can't wear regular binders. If you’re sourcing your own, again trans groups r great bc they can give local recs and lots of people sell/pass on their old ones. I am happy to give anyone recs, but they’re all uk based. 

How will you communicate with nurses post-op? Most people don’t live too near their top surgeon, so you’ll probably check-up remotely. I just sent nurses emails of my nips and incisions and anything i was worried about the healing of and they’d let me know if it looked okay. 

If you have any conditions/disabilities/illnesses, ask if they’ve ever operated on someone with them/similar before. I have fibro + hypermobility and tbh it was reassuring to hear him talk about experiences other patients with chronic pain had had before and how they coped.

Okay sorry that was really long, but its pretty much everything i could think of question wise! I hope it helps! Let me know if there’s any other questions you have at all :)

[blueluneacy]

Please do more smut with yandere Part 4 Joot and his friend(now unwilling lover) s/o!! Please also make him talk dirty bc for some reason it suits him in this situation.

Ohhh, interesting indeed! The relationship is at least fun to explore!

This is the Last part, but it’s not SUPER necessary to understand this, i think. Up to you, really!

Warnings are: dub con, breaking and entering, orgasm denial, yandere, blackmail

You haven’t left your apartment since the incident, preferring to stay under your blankets. Who knows when you would leave your bed. Maybe never. You couldn’t face any of it at the moment. Not the guy you accidentally stood up, your friends that helped set you up with said guy, and definitely not Jotaro, who was certainly waiting for you. You could tell by the 53 phone calls that you had missed that something was up, but you couldn’t really be bothered to deal with it. You emailed the professor who oversaw the lab that you were sick, and that was that. Maybe it was time that you start thinking about doing something else other than Marine Biology with your life. This in a sense, was a turning point for you. While you never had much of an interest in it, you had always been there for Jotaro. Now, you were ready to move forward with your life. Better late than never, I suppose.

There was a knock at your door around three in the afternoon. You sat up slightly, thinking to yourself. Should you answer it?... Nah. If it was someone important, they would’ve let you know before showing up. Probably some package you forgot you ordered, or someone the school sent to make sure you weren’t dead. They could send an email instead. You buried your head back into the covers, not hearing the door open and someone enter into your home. You should’ve been more attentive, maybe. Who can really say if anything could’ve stopped him from entering into your house if he really wanted to.

“You know, you really shouldn’t ignore your boyfriend like that. I was worried.” You sat up instantly to see Jotaro standing in the doorway of your bedroom, just staring at you. You were ready to snarl, immediately glaring at him.

“Get out of my house.” You replied, getting up and out of your bed. Jotaro only stepped closer to you, a small smirk covering his face. He seemed so victorious, it only pissed you off more.

“Come on now, (y/n). You can’t skip work forever. Don’t be like this.” With just a few paces, Jotaro closed the gap between the two of you, leaving you a bit nervous. “I don’t have to listen to a word you’re saying. All you’ve done is screw things up.” You growled, trying to turn away from Jotaro, but he grabbed onto your shoulders, pulling you towards him. You were about to spit out an insult, but Jotaro’s lips crashed against yours, forcing you into a harsh kiss. It was full of teeth and tongue, Jotaro finally pulling away when he needed a breath, harshly biting at your lip. You whimpered a bit at it, averting your eyes. Your embarrassment wasn’t enough however. Jotaro easily pushed you onto your own bed, climbing on top of you. You tried to thrash out of his hold, but Jotaro just pinned your arms above your head, leaning down to leave bruising kisses along your neck.

“G-Get off me! I’m not going to let you just do whatever you want to me!” You growled, only for Jotaro to bite down at a particular spot. You gasped, feeling yourself unconsciously tilt your head to give Jotaro better access.

“Don’t act like you’re so above this, (y/n). Not when I know exactly what it is you need from me.” He growled, moving to peel off your clothing. You gasped, trying to wiggle away, but to no avail. If anything, it almost seemed to help him get your pants off of you. Jotaro just raised an eyebrow at you as he freed his cock from his trousers, already plenty hard. You gave him a glance and simply averted your eyes, too embarrassed to actually look at him. Jotaro seemed pretty sick of your antics, scoffing as he began to rub up against you. You gasped. Sure, you had become plenty turned on (though you would never admit it), but before, Jotaro had stretched you out first. You tried to protest.

“W-Wait, what are you-”

“I’ve decided you don’t need prep. Not when you’re acting like this.” Jotaro just cut you off, pressing into you with one sharp thrust. You cried out, trying to grab the sheets under you as you teared up at the sting. Jotaro, at least, was kind enough to let you adjust, holding still as his mouth ravished your neck. God, at the end of this, your neck was going to look like you had fought off an angry racoon. 

Once Jotaro decided you were ready, he pulled out slowly until just the tip was inside of you, then harshly thrust himself in. You squealed, your body involuntarily arching up at the feeling. Jotaro just smirked as you easily took him in, leaning down to put his mouth right at your ear so you couldn’t ignore him.

“Look how well you take me. Like your body was made for me. Don’t you see how much you need me, (y/n)?” He moved harshly, giving you practically no time to breathe. How could a human being move like that? You just moaned out in reply, squirming slightly. You wanted your hands free, but Jotaro gave you no leeway. This was a man on a mission, and the mission was to make you realize how much you needed him. 

As your body came closer to the edge though, Jotaro slowed down, moving to languid thrusts as he pressed his lips against yours. You moaned into the kiss, feeling your eyes start to roll back as Jotaro sped up his thrusts just a bit. It felt like every time you started to get close to the edge, Jotaro would sense it and slow down a bit, leaving you to start to whine in frustration.

“J-Jotaro, pleeeeease…” You moaned a bit, leaving Jotaro to smirk just a little.

“Hmm? What is it?” You didn’t know how he could remain so calm during sex, while you were there, squirming and writhing underneath him.

“P… Please, don’t tease me. You know what I want. Come on…” You told Jotaro, and for a moment, he actually almost… Laughed. He released his grip from your wrists only to move to your throat.

“You really expect me to give you what you want when you’ve been nothing but a brat for the last few days? You have high expectations, (y/n), I’ll give you that much.” Jotaro told you. You swallowed, a pang of fear hitting your gut, but it was easily overtaken by your need. You felt your body go limp as you looked up at Jotaro, biting your lip.

“J-Jotaro, I’ll be good… S-So, please…” You batted your eyes a bit, reaching up to touch Jotaro’s cheek. His face actually… heated up a bit and his grip on your neck loosened. He started to move again, albeit slowly.

“Tell me you’re mine. That you love me, only me.” Jotaro demanded with a slight growl. You swallowed, considering it for a moment before a harsh thrust took out all of your sense of reason.

“A-All yours Jotaro, I love you! God, I love you so much!” You whined. Jotaro just smirked, beginning to fuck you with vigor. It didn’t take long before you reached the edge again, your arms wrapping around Jotaro’s neck.

“J-Jotaro, please! Gonna cum, please!” You cried out. Jotaro didn’t bother to stop, thrusting in deeply.

“Fuck, cum for me (y/n). Need you, need you to be all mine, fuck-!” He cried out as your body gave in, waves of euphoria washing over you. Your eyes rolled back as you moaned, feeling Jotaro pull out to cum on your stomach, leaving you to bite your lip.

There was a moment of pause and the two of you gasped. It was astonishing to you how worn out you had felt after all that, while Jotaro sat up, grabbing his phone. You winced as you saw a flash. Jotaro had… Taken a picture of you, it seemed. You sat up, shocked.

“W-What are you-”

“In case you get any more ideas about breaking your promises. You’re all mine, (y/n). I’m not going to let you forget that.” He told you. You gulped as you looked away, nodding a bit. Jotaro just relaxed, pulling you up into his arms.

“Good. Let’s get you cleaned up. We can rest today, but tomorrow, let’s go back to school, alright?” Jotaro was smiling, but you knew all this wasn’t a request. You leaned your head against his shoulder timidly, sighing a bit. 

There was no way you’d ever be able to escape your loving boyfriend now.

[fioletowa-krowa]

So I’ve had to deal with the absolute worst customer in my entire working career ever this past week. (It’s Rose at the Notre Dame university bookstore in case anyone was wondering) apologies in advance, it’s going to be long

So for this school we have two “titles” that are basically just boxes of lab equipment. There’s a lock, goggles, a lab coat, a notebook, and an access card for the online book. These are shipped as individual boxes since there’s a good amount of materials. This is different from what we usually send to stores, which would be boxes of multiple notebooks. I mention this bc the store manager, Rose made such a damned big deal about it.

So the whole ordeal started at the beginning of the month when my boss CC-ed me on an email conversation with Rose letting her know that she was going to be out of town so to contact me with any questions or requests for her order of the two bundles we had for the school. She ended the email with “hopefully things go smoothly this year” so already I have a bad feeling that this is going to be difficult.

Rose emails me to let me know that this is a time when they receive a lot of deliveries at their store (she specifically mentioned receiving football equipment in addition to books and school supplies) so she wanted to make sure that their order of nearly 1000 bundles could be split into smaller orders with only one order arriving per day to make sure that they weren’t overwhelmed at the store. A bit of an annoying request, but not impossible for us to attempt to accommodate. The only thing being that once an order leaves our warehouse we have zero control over how long it takes to deliver or when it gets delivered so I told Rose that I was putting notes on her orders so that they would hopefully ship on different days and then be delivered on different days. And she again reminded me that they needed the orders to arrive just as she specified. Okay, fine, I’m doing what I can.

Now, unfortunately, we’ve been having delays it’s getting materials and books in stock on time this season bc our printers are all short staffed and they can only print and ship so much at a time. So the bundles are already going to be a little later than expected. We had a team of people putting the boxes together at our satellite warehouse last last week so we could get them shipped out last week.

So we finally get things together and get the first order shipped out Tuesday. This first order was for 85 boxes of one title (11181) and 150 copies of the other (11171) and the manager at the satellite warehouse gets it shipped out Tuesday last week. On Wednesday I send Rose an email with the tracking information (I had to wait for our regular warehouse manager to get me the info bc the satellite manager was out all of last week after Tuesday) and at 4:56 Wednesday evening I get the following email from Rose:

“Beth, do you realize we already got three skids today? You sent a skid of 11181 when we only wanted 85 and two skids of 11171. Please do not send any more of 11181 and I will write up everything tomorrow and you can arrange a call tag to pick up the others. This is a hot mess and the paperwork the driver had was wrong and we have damaged cases as well. Way to go..........................”

So I was about to lose my mind at this. Not only was it at the end of the day, but she was incredibly rude over something that was genuinely a mistake and moreso, not my fault! The editor in charge of the projects wanted to respond to her that evening, but I told her that, quite frankly, I was off for the day and Rose didn’t deserve any of my unpaid time. Plus i wanted to hear back from the warehouse to see their end in case something happened so they sent out more than they were supposed to or if Rose was just stupid and we did what we said we would and it just wasn’t exactly what she was expecting. So the editor sent Rose a message saying that I’d get back to her in the morning with more information and I went to dinner w my parents and papa so that I wouldn’t punch a hold thru a wall in anger

So Thursday morning I get in to an email from our main warehouse manager (since the satellite manager was out the rest of the week) letting me know that we had sent three skids for the order. Because each skid holds 96 boxes. So, since the order was for 235 boxes, it physically had to ship as three skids. I was fucking giddy as I typed my response to Rose, spelling out why she received three skids and letting her know that I would be holding her remaining four orders for 150 of 11171 each until I got the go-ahead from her that she was okay with the fact that the orders would be one and a half skids each.

Well, Rose emails back that we actually sent three full skids instead of one full and two partials. She included the phrase “believe it or not, I can count” and then after reiterating how she wanted her orders sent said, “My next suggestion would be to fulfill my orders as requested going forward.” And asked if they’d be getting another order that day. So I typed up a very off-color response to her informing her how obnoxious and cunty I thought she was being and how her attitude was helping exactly zero people and quite honestly making me feel less inclined to be helpful at all. And then I typed up a nicer response and asked my boss for read it over to make sure that it was professional and appropriate. In my email i let her know that we only had the paperwork to go off of as the warehouse manager who put the shipment out was out of the office, so we legitimately did not know that she received more than what was on her order and that, no I had held her other orders to make sure that she was okay with how they were going to be shipped, but I could put them in and hopefully get the next one shipped out that day or Friday.

At that point, she got the other manager at their store involved who emailed Friday morning to ask me to confirm they’d be getting the rest of their order that day as they had students arriving on campus who would need them. I informed her that no, we hadn’t shipped anything else yet and said that it was bc our satellite warehouse was short staffed (which is essentially true. There’s one person who works in that warehouse— the manager— and he’d been out all week) so Rose jumped back in to say “Just to make certain I understand correctly, there hasn't been another order shipped since the first delivery? We need to get on the ball with this order short staffed or not folks!!”

At that point i was beyond pissed. They were asking for something above and beyond what we do normally, and we were doing everything we could to keep them placated, including shipping the rest of their orders for free, but there’s literally only so much we can do with the staff that we have. So, after venting into an empty word doc, I responded with “That is correct. We wanted to make sure that we wouldn't overwhelm you with multiple orders in a day, like you asked, and since the first shipment went out incorrectly, we wanted to be sure that it didn't happen again. Unfortunately that means that we aren't able to schedule a pickup from the shipper until Monday as it took some time to confirm that the rest of the shipments were okay to go forward per your instructions. The remaining shipments will be going out all of next week, but if you need us to send more than one order at a time, please let me know and I can coordinate with our warehouse team to make sure that happens.” (Also I’m now realizing that rose never actually confirmed that we could/should ship the rest of the orders so that’s a fun thing) as this was going on, I was trying to coordinate with our warehouse manager to see if we could get the next order out and (as my dad who works in that warehouse told me) they were basically running around asking every shipper who came by that day if they could take the order bc the store’s preferred shipper wasn’t available to pick it up. But we finally managed to get it picked up and shipped around 1 Friday afternoon

So, Rose, in all of her Karen-ness responds “In what world would it be, as the buyer, my fault for making and having confirmation of shipping directions the reason why your company has failed??” Funnily enough, that email sent me passed pissed off to just calm and I’d started typing a response when a message from my boss (who had been CC-ed on the entire conversation) popped up saying “take a minute, step away from your computer, then respond” so I laughed to myself and explained to Rose that I wasn’t trying to blame her (yes I was) but that I was only trying to explain why I was being so cautious and why there would be a gap in their shipments. Of course, then I get an email from the other store manager saying that she wished we had communicated the delay in shipments ahead of time and that if that had happened they would have been able to tell us that it mattered more that they received the boxes on time, not that they were received separately as originally requested, ending with “I would have thought this would be a logical conclusion on your part, so the mistake was mine in thinking that.”

And that’s when I realized that this manager (Becky) hadn’t been informed of everything that actually had happened and most likely just got the bitching from Rose that we’d messed up and it was all our fault that they wouldn’t be getting the boxes on time. So I got to inform her that I had told Rose immediately that we were going to be holding the remainder of her orders until we got the ok from her to ship since she’d been so upset with how the first shipment had arrived.

So once I’d gotten that all explained and smoothed out, I got an email from the freaking Macmillan rep for the area who’s been “filled in” on the situation and wanted to make sure that we were going to be able to get the store what they needed and when 🙄 and she followed up this morning to make sure that we’d done what we said. So we got the order delivered today, another one that’s either been delivered since or is being delivered tomorrow, a third that’s either tomorrow or Wednesday, and the last order that’s shipping tomorrow being delivered Wednesday or Thursday depending on shipping times.

Behind the scenes, I wasn’t aware, but my boss’s boss and his (new) boss had also been filled in about the situation and my boss had explained our half of the story, so I got a message from my boss’s boss thanking me for handling the situation and that he thought it had handled the situation well and professionally and that it was “100% the fault of an extremely difficult customer”

I’m just so Done with this and I hope to God I don’t ever have to deal with this store in the future

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

********************************

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[firelord-frowny]

its a LONG fucking story, 

but basically, i work as a private violin teacher at a high school (which happens to be the same school i graduated from).

at the beginning of the year, the other violin/viola teacher suddenly quit, meaning that i was suddenly being asked to teach 14 students rather than just the 7 i had agreed to, and these 14 students included 4 violists, which... i am not a violist. 

but the boss begged me to ~step up just until [she] can find someone to replace~ the lady who quit. so im like okay, fine. 

it takes her until fucking february to find a replacement. the END of february. 

then covid sets the world on fire and school is canceled indeffinitely. 

i did not recieve one single text or email or phone call from ANYONE affiliated with the school with any information or instruction about how distance learning was going to be carried out. literally, nobody contacted me AT ALL. i wasnt too concerned bc i knew the school system was in chaos, scrambling to try to throw together some protocols and systems and whatnot. so im like, ok, they have bigger things to deal with before they can address adjunct faculty such as myself. 

but weeks pass and i continue to hear nothing, so i finally email my boss like “hey, what’s the plan? what are my responsibilities? is private instrumental instruction still taking place in some form? if so, how am i supposed to be carrying that out? who are my students? how do i schedule lessons? how do i log my hours?” etc etc. 

she responds two days later and answers exactly 0 of my questions, but does provide me with a link to a ~google classrooms~ site and tells me to ~contact students to schedule lessons.~ again, she did not actually tell me who those students even WERE, or how to contact them, and that information was not on the classroom site. 

but before i can email her to tell her this and ask her to more thoroughly explain, the site fucking disappears. it’s just gone. a 404 error or something. 

so i sent her an email more or less explaining, “hi, i’m unable to access the site, there’s an error message. do you know what’s wrong/what should i do?”

she does not respond. at all. for two weeks. 

then i get a mass email she sent to all adjuncts informing us that the last week of instrumental lessons has concluded for the year. im like... ok, i guess. 

then i get an email she forwarded from the coordinator instructing all adjuncts to fill out a form stating our intent to return for the following year. i completed the form and submitted it as asked. 

the next school year starts and i again recieve 0 information from anyone about when i’m supposed to start working. but that’s not unsual since adjuncts usually don’t start until a few weeks in. but then i still hadn’t heard anything by fucking october, so i emailed her AGAIN asking her what my responsibilities are and/or what decisions have been made about the function of adjunct faculty in distance learning. 

i get NO REPLY for another two fucking weeks. 

i send a followup. “hi, i’m concerned that i still have not been contacted by you or anyone else with answers to my questions. i would appreciate a prompt response.” 

i get NO RESPONSE FOR ANOTHER TWO DAYS. 

i finally ask a coworker to tell her i’ve been trying to reach her. 

she responds a fucking hour later claiming there are “no students available for me at this time” and that she “was going to contact [me] soon” (BULLSHIT) and that she “has enjoyed working with [me], thanks for all [my] help.” 

???

so i tell her to fucking call me and explain herself, and she claimed that I “disappeared” at the end of the last school year and that the new violin teacher had to “take over” for all of my students. 

i told her that i did NOT disappear and that i in fact sent her emails informing her that the link she sent me did not work and asking for further instruction - emails which she NEVER REPLIED to. she then lied and said that we cleared it up over the phone. i told her that that never happened. she insisted that it did. she also claimed that she “let the students decide if they wanted me back” and that “they all chose [new teacher]” which i am POSITIVE is absolute bullshit because 1) the new teacher is a pasty ass white man in his late 30s who has absolutely nothing in common with these students. i am a young black woman from the exact same background as these kids who love me so fucking much that they all call me their “violin auntie.” so like. you fucking tell me who they would have picked if they had actually been asked to choose. 

she also claimed that she ~had to let me go because of the budget~ but that i’m ~still on the roster so she my bring me back when things return to normal.~ 

after the phone conversation, i checked my phone records and confirmed that prior to this conversation, she and i have LITERALLY NEVER COMMUNICATED OVER THE PHONE. 

so i sent her another email telling her that i checked, and that phone conversation never happened. i asked, just to give her a chance, if perhaps she may have called me from a number that wasn’t her cell or a school number. i also re-sent her the emails i had sent her that she never replied to. i asked her: if she thought i had just fucking bailed on my job, why didn’t she ever attempt to contact me? if she thought i wasn’t doing something i had agreed to do, why didn’t she ever call or email or text asking wtf my issue was? IF SHE GENUINELY HAD AN ISSUE WITH ME OR ANYTHING I DID OR DIDN’T DO, WHY DIDN’T SHE TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF CONTACTING ME IF ONLY TO LET ME KNOW THAT MY JOB WAS IN JEOPARDY?

LO AND BEHOLD, SHE DOESN’T FUCKING REPLY TO THAT SHIT, EITHER. 

so i called one of my old teachers (who happens to be the same teacher who quit at the beginning of the year) to ask for her advice on what to do, and if i was in fact correct that what this woman did to me was viciously disrespectful and unprofessional. she confirmed that yes, it was wildly wrong for her to do all that she did, and advised me to inform a particular supervisor of the matter, and the fact that my efforts to resolve it with the woman went ignored. 

so i did that. explained it all in a email, sent it to the supervisor, and now????

radio silence from the supervisor. 

im so tired of being angry about this but im fucking livid. 

[roboromantic]

boy it sure has been An Weekend

Apparently the ceiling in my grandparents’ living room collapsed NOT 3 MINUTES AFTER MY GRANDMOTHER LEFT THE ROOM so they got that fixed and are replacing the ceiling most of the other rooms too jic so we had to get the furniture out of there ASAP so it could get worked on and uh. I guess we’re keeping it bc they want to get rid of as much stuff as they can while they’re still around.

So now we have their dining set + the china which “goes to the next grandkid who gets married *COUGH COUGH WINK WINK DIRECTED AT ME*” like. Ma’am, I Have Never Dated Once In My Whole Life

And I mean I know she means well and just wants me to be happy but if I ever do get married it probably won’t be for quite some time and like. odds are it won’t be to someone she’d approve of, lmao.

Anyway she was like “any a y’all want the curio cabinet?” and I’d semi-jokingly asked about it on the way up so I was like 👀 but we didn’t really have the resources to haul all that glass and mirrors; we barely fit everything we did take

Also she decided it was finally time to let go of her car which. is kind of a Big Deal for her. It’s going to be brother #3′s, technically, but since he can’t drive I’m mostly the one that’s gonna use it for the moment (and the one who had to drive it back home, lol)

And she sent me an email that’s like “hope you’re not mad I gave it to brother #3 but I’ll buy you a display case for up to $500 as a graduation present (? at least it was kind of implied it was gonna be a graduation present but obviously it’s a bit soon for that) and now that we know you’re gonna be home I’m gonna send you $100 a month because I missed doing that”

Like Thank You Extremely Much but uh. shouldn’t that go towards roof stuff. I mean I guess she knows her financial situation better than I do but while I obviously like her doting on us I do still feel kinda bad. It’ll cover my meds each month with about $25 left over to throw in savings which I mean ain’t a lot but since I don’t really have the time to focus on survey sites like I usually do it’ll be nice to not have to worry about dipping into my hysto/car savings to get things. I guess technically the copays go towards my out of pocket costs so basically I’m getting both the meds and lowering the most I’d have to pay for the hysto but ANYWAY

Having the car would’ve been nice but frankly it’s smaller than what I want and also I kinda wanna go electric so by all means, let brother #3 have it. as long as we have two vehicles atm it’s fine. It’s all paid off, has less than 50,000 miles despite being about 10 years old, has much better mpg than probably anything I’ve ever driven, and has been super well maintained so it’s a hell of a lot better than my first car, lol. I’m happy for him and also like it was his birthday on Friday so

Anyway if the budget’s $500 then I’m gonna probably look into getting a bunch of Detolfs and hacking them together and raising them so I have some storage and the lowest shelf will then not actually be on the same level as the floor, lmao. My dad suggested I wait until Xmas to get it which is fine by me, it gives me time to think about it and figure out what the hell I’m gonna do with the bookshelves they’ll replace bc I have absolutely Zero space for anything atm

They always give us money when we visit so I got $150 this time around and quite frankly I think I might look into putting that towards a new phone; mine’s got some relatively minor issues but they’re adding up and it’s getting rather annoying

BUT THEN we got a call from brother #1 who fractured his arm and is needing to get surgery so that’s happening like. tomorrow. and he’ll probably be coming back to live with us again which is. hm. Obviously he ain’t getting access to any of the vehicles but it’s just kind of A Lot going on at once. EDIT: ok he is ah. Not coming back home which I mean. is less stressful in many ways but he’s not really doing great so hhhhhh. it’s a Mess.

So let’s just say I’m super grateful this Wednesday is the one break day we get bc Good Grief do I need some time off from school. I only have one Thursday class w/nothing on Friday anyway and this last essay I need to write is due Tuesday so I’ll be DONE and can actually relax. or at least not have to worry about that on top of family drama

[tiredbiostudent]

tbh i'm also dealing with registration and shit like that atm and it's SO FUCKING STRESSFUL so feel free to tell us about your frustrations bc girl I FEEL U

omg I hope everything works out for you!! it’s beyond stressful ik so hang in there bro<333 my problem has more or less been resolved but here’s the (AGGRAVATING) breakdown: -emailed exchange coordinator at the beginning of august because I noticed my transcripts from bergen still hadn’t shown up on my home university record and I couldn’t remember if I needed to do something to have them get sent over. my coordinator said nah you’re good admin handles everything it should be automatic -get an email from the academic awards office saying I lost my scholarship for this year because I “didn’t complete the required credit hours or attain the required grades” (I DID THO). I email back like hey wtf >:( explain the situation and they say aight just let us know when your transcripts are back and we can rEaSsEsS  -2/3 of the way thru august. transcripts still haven’t been sent even though I got my grades at the beginning of june :/ -check my registered classes for the sem and notiCE I’VE BEEN BUMPED FROM A COURSE BC I “AM MISSING PREREQUISITES” bc I took the prereq at bergen sfhdsfkfdsdfs -at this point very concerned about getting osap too bc I #1 am currently not in a full courseload and #2 currently don’t have any of my scholarship -eventually, after much panicked emailing, things r straightened out: I was able to submit ‘unofficial’ grades to get reassessed for my scholarship, I emailed the prof who’s course I was bumped from and was able to re-register, and I reached out to my exchange coordinator to ask about my transcripts bc at this point it was fucking a lot of my life up -ICING ON THE CAKE: she forwards the email she got from uib, in which they say “oh actually abbey has had access to her transcripts since june, she has to log onto studentweb and download the pdf” BRUH NO ONE TOLD ME THAT I SDFKJSDFHDSKJHDSKJDH anyways

fall sem 2020 <3 off to an amazing start

[kotsume]

hi i’m back from the dead (tumblr gave me my blog back)

hi i said i’d post this tomorrow but i lied and couldn’t help myself.

first off, happy 2019!! it’s been nearly a year since i’ve seen y’all!!! how are you guys? i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who supported me and i am so thankful for you all.

i have a full explanation under the cut and i would really appreciate it if y’all read it!!

also, i think i’ll reblog this a couple times sorry ik it’s annoying

now, a lot of people i talked to/talked about me kept thinking i was terminated. to be clear, @kaijohs was not terminated, but suspended. they are 2 differnet things as there’s actually a spot in support for terminated blogs :)

i could log into tumblr and go on my dash, check out my activity and drafts, but could not like/reblog, add to drafts/queue, edit drafts, view my inbox. this only happened to @kaijohs, all my other sideblogs (like @fyeahvioletevergarden​) functioned normally and i could still do everything i normally would on them.

for some idiotic reason, tumblr still let me create new sideblogs ????????????? it doesn’t really make sense because that’s the reason why i was suspended in the first place but okay tumblr you do you i guess.

okay so:

i had saved, unused urls. those urls consisted of my old ones and my future urls. i tend to change my url every couple of months or so. anyone who’s been following me from the very beginning can tell you that i had a url change about 6 times over the course of 2 years. so yeah, it is safe to say i’m an indecisive girl who can’t stick to one url (but i think i’ll stick with kaijohs bc i love it).

tumblr must have done some random search bc you can’t report it? i didn’t see an option for it, so feel free to correct me and show me if i am wrong. anyways, i ended up getting suspended over it even though i was keeping most, if not all, of them updated. there are many users on tumblr with hundreds of urls, selling them for money, and i got suspended bc i was unlucky. not much i could do about that.

i am NOT saying i didn’t deserve it bc it was my fault for breaking the rules, but i deleted the urls as soon as i read the email and was STILL suspended for 11 months (february 27 2018 - january 22 2019). verbatim, tumblr said “Let us know when that’s been done so we can restore your access.” i sent them at least 2 emails every week through support in the first few months, as well as replying to the original email they sent me. it didn’t really do much. one time they decided to responded to my email (not one of those automated “support request received” emails, but an actual follow-up email), they completely missed the mark.

imo 11 months was overkill.

i don’t know if they actually read the things people send in support, but i have a feeling they don’t (it’s probably just bots tbh) because no human with a job is dumb enough to respond like that if they read the original request.

–

i thought a lot about starting over from scratch and making a new blog because i honestly did not know if i would ever get @kaijohs back. i’m just so happy it’s back now ^^

–

so what exactly happened during my suspension? i…

- turned 18 !!! - became a stressed out university student (major: biomedical sciences) - made many gifs to post - lost my queue* - read lots of manga - watched a lot of anime - went to europe for 3 weeks >>> france, italy, and england - lost 1.5k+ followers on @kaijohs (rip nearly 34k) - found lots of people reposting/copying my gifs :) - cut off my long ass hair wooo - distanced myself from tumblr for the time being - found someone i want to spend the rest of my life with

*i had ~100 queued items and posts just disappeared in groups idk where they went nor do i have an explanation for what happened except that tumblr deletes posts in your queue when you’re suspended.

–

oh yeah here’s a funny story: i tried calling a (false) tumblr support number but it turned out to be a scammer, and when i asked the person on the other end of the line if this was a scam. the guy told me to press the windows key and R, which raised flags for me. then he yelled at me, telling me to do my research before i accuse him of scamming me because apparently i “didn’t know anything”. i didn’t need to do research when i had Common Sense *insert that rainbow spongebob meme* backing me up… why would i need to run a new program in order for him to unsuspend me on tumblr? then he hung up after lashing out on me.

–

i will be posting a lot of darling in the franxx gifs btw. sorry woops zero two is still the best girl ever

also, as much as i am happy to have my blog back, i’m a little concerned with how i’m going to manage school + my life + gifmaking. i really do miss it, but i get easily stressed and overwhelmed, but i hope i can work something out because i want to continue doing what i love!! 

–

if you’ve made it this far and actually read all this shit, ilysm, you’re amazing, and have a wonderful day~

[steves-strapcollection]

I'm gonna scream

The housekeeping supervisor that has been covering for our previous one was so incompetent like lost and found inquiries go thru them bc we have no access to their safe or any other departments and like I sent a request and the woman said there was none found and even said to me she checked w events and then passed the buck to me to tell the person we didn't find her lost item

I just checked my emails and apparently events had it! The whole time! And they've reached out to the guest! And like idk I'm just rly embarrassed bc I trusted her word that she checked w events bc like.... Lost and found items go thru housekeeping. They deal w the finding of items. Idk if events or banquets hands shit over to housekeeping or what. That's why housekeeping and LP deals with lost and found items idk

I'm mad bc this woman told me she looked for the item and checked w different departments and still didn't find it like

I'm mad. Next time I'm double checking housekeepings work. This is ridiculous. Bc this makes me look incompetent to the guest. Ugh. UGH I'm never trusting ppl to do their job again