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chaifootsteps · 4 months

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Media Illiteracy anon here.

Onto the dreaded episode 4... Warning for SA and all that, of course.

I would like to start by saying that by Definition I am a CSA survivor (I was sexually exploited from age 10 to 16, made to produce CP). But I don't really consider myself to be one since I am not... traumatized by it? I just don't care that it happened. So I don't think I can say much in the way the episode handles SA or even how it might trigger someone who was also exploited for the making of pornography.

That being said. Yikes. I think this episode is the best one so far, as much as it pains me to say that. It's the best paced and it sticks to one plot and the plot... has Some good moments. I really liked the scene where Valentino yells at Angel that he should get rid of Charlie and how he physically abuses him. I think that scene is The best scene in the entire show because of how terrifying it is and how well it shows the damage he causes to Angel as well as his relationships with other people.

I think that scene should've literally been it. It shows physical abuse, it shows Angel's fear, how Valentino owns him (literally) and even implies the SA to come when he says he's going to make him work all day. Overworking is already a horrible thing to put someone through, but as a sex worker there'd be a point where it's no longer enjoyable and you want to stop, which is where it then also becomes rape. That line was Terrifying and made you feel dread with just the Implications of what was gonna happen to Angel, as if This wasn't already bad enough.

Then they ruined it with that stupid song.

Now Poison is not a bad song, in my opinion. I think it sounds nice, and even looking at the lyrics (which is not something I usually focus on, due to the Illiteracy I mentioned), I don't think it's awful. But putting That over a scene where Angel Dust is getting raped On Screen is a bit Very tasteless. That whole scene was Awful, you could easily tell that whoever made it clearly had a thing for it. I'd seen the leaked clip before and that was enough for me to realize how fetishized it was, but seeing there was more was just. Augh. Do they have no shame? It's so blatantly obvious I felt like I was looking at a NSFW Twitter animation.

I kind of hated the aftermath, too. Angel going back to the hotel and drinking was good, but I hated him coming onto Husk like that and then pulling a "a nice guy like me is too good for you anyway". I feel like I had never fully realized before that the Angel and Husk thing was sexual harassment, cause you grow up with movies and shows where like. A female character coming onto a male one is just. Normal, and the result would be them getting into a relationship Anyway, so it was harder for me to recognize that it qualified as Harassment. I think Angel saying that shit made me realize it was and then it was just. Weird. Also the way the line is worded and delivered, it sounds less like that's something Angel is parroting back from what Valentino usually tells him, and more like he wholeheartedly believes it, which certainly didn't help.

Following scene I also kind of like. The bar scene. I liked that even if Husk was reluctant in going, since he doesn't like Angel, and was stalling for time so he wouldn't have to talk to him, he Still stepped in when he saw someone putting something in his drink. I think if this show was written better that could've been a way to show that even those who think they've hit rock bottom are still humans with morals at the core of their beings, and that they still have the ability to care and do good even with years worth of bad decisions and an environment that encourages depravity.

I also liked him getting him out of there and trying to care for him, in his own grumpy old man way. I liked the dark revelation that Angel knows when he's being drugged, and that he just let's it happen because he thinks it gives him some control and that if he's broken enough by this random men, Valentino will finally let him go. That was really messed up.

Then Loser Baby comes on and fucking.

Okay so, I Really like Loser Baby. It's the best show in the show so far. The instrumentals are nice, it's catchy, the lyrics are a little silly and fun, and Keith David carries it, though Blake Roman is not half bad. It's the context in which is used that makes this song just flop HARD.

I think everyone understands what the song was meant to be, and I think it doesn't do Too horribly at connecting both of their situations and how they're not alone because they have each other. It fails at everything else though, because beyond "both are owned by Overlords", Angel's and Husk's situations have Nothing to do with each other, they are Not comparable.

Also calling Angel, a rape victim, a loser is not. Good, even as lighthearted as it is. The song is "suck it up, slut", and while kind of in character for someone in Hell or as grumpy/harsh as Husk, it's still. Yikes? It minimizes the situation way too much, this is not an "Oopsie, made the wrong choices in life" moment. He's getting actually abused and that's not his fault.

Also Alastor fucked off for 7 years and all he makes Husk do now is man a bar where he does nothing all day except drink alcohol. Angel is going through the worst Alastor could've done to Husk, on a Daily Basis, and even if Alastor could be cruel, it would be extremely out of character for him to straight up Rape Husk too. Or torture him without killing him, even torture doesn't seem like something he would do, at least not to Husk specifically.

Husk's lines are tone deaf and kind of offensive, but I think they're passable since it's at least Trying to say something positive, even if they're doing it poorly. Angel's though... Again, you can just Tell someone with a fetish is writing him. I hate how he says "I've got an appetite for samplin'" and "I've got no holes left to deflower". That's super insensitive, it doesn't even feel as an Hypersexuality thing, especially that second line. It doesn't feel like it's "i love being a slut because it's reclaiming my stolen sexuality", it feels like. Shock? Value? like "i'm a big whore", and that's it. It's hard to put into words, because the message comes across in every bad possible way, I have Nothing positive to say about it.

The only good thing about Loser Baby that I like, aside from the sound of the song itself, is the little dancing bits between Husk and Angel. They're kind of cute, I like how he's trying to cheer him up by pulling him up and making him dance with him a little bit.

Augh. After that there's this bit where Husk says Angel needs to learn to respect his boundaries. I Like this scene but the context diminishes the impact it could've had by a lot. It's trying to acknowledge that Angel's sexual harassment is Bad, whether it's a trauma response or not, and that he needs to Stop. And Husk is willing to start from zero with him and become friends if they start like that.

I kind of Like that they're acknowledging that it's bad, and i Would've liked Husk telling him they can be friends if he learns to respect his boundaries but like. Do we Really want to be like that about someone who sexually harassed someone else? That they can be friends? I feel like that is a bit insensitive and offensive to victims. I myself would Not like to be friends with my abuser even if he begged on his knees to be my friend.

It's also implied that Husk and Angel end up romantically involved. If you could excuse the befriending thing, saying that maybe it's not the same since Angel never Touched Husk sexually, i still think that going and making them Lovers is harmful. A "he yanks on your ponytails because he likes you" kind of situation. I like them as friends, hate them as lovers.

Another big problem I have is Charlie. She's a cardboard cut out in her own show. She's a background character in the episode where she causes the main conflict.

She's a bit of a pushover, cause she's nice. Even with pilot Charlie I don't think she's too OOC since calling the news reporter a bitch and defending yourself against her is not really comparable to being face to face with a rapist who is actively harming your friend. She can't just kill him, sinners reform eventually, and then be would be even angrier. Not at her but at Angel, because it's his fault Charlie even got to lay a hand on him in the first place. I think it's a more complex situation than "why didn't she just kill him".

But for as complex as the situation could be, Charlie is extremely. Simple. She barely appears and it's just "I'm sorry" and it's all fixed. I feel like there could've been a bigger emphasis on Charlie's and Angel's relationship (even while still keeping Husk's involvement in it all). I also kind of hate the treatment of her? Like how when Angel says he forgives her, she Cries and is carried away by Vaggie. Idk, that scene made me a bit uncomfortable. They treated her as if she was a child and it was Weird.

I think this episode had a lot of potential to be good and fumbled the bag catastrophically. Husk and Charlie are Worse characters because of it.

That's all. I can only hope the plot twist leaks aren't true, because this story is barely salvageable and that "Rosie is actually Lilith" bullshit will just ruin my experience from how stupid it is. You can be as painfully oblivious as me and this show will still find a way to make itself as dreadful as possible. I really don't understand why so many fans are so aggressive about criticism, I think they also see the disappointing bits but are far too committed to back down and admit they were wrong, so they just double down. I liked Most of the show, even though it's mostly because i already had Some attachment, curiosity and knowledge from before. But it's not as good as it had the potential to be, nor is it the single best show to have ever existed. It's honestly sad that many people, such as myself, have to go on anon on a poor person's blog to lightly criticize the show, because they're too afraid to be harassed or sent their literal house address on a direct message.

Thank you and goodnight, Chai!

You see, this is what I get out of running this blog. You guys write up these fabulous essays taking all the words out of my mouth, and it's deeply cathartic.

Try to hang in there. Vivzie's fandom will probably never go away completely, but I really do think their reign of terror is coming to an end.

#Anonymous #media illiteracy #viv stuff #actual blog post

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pineappleciders · 1 year

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hey!! i saw that ur writing reqs were open and i was wondering if u could write (platonic) hcs of the main 4 finding out their friend, reader, is trans ftm?

++reader transitioned before meeting the main 4 and is afraid of revealing it to them, worried that their relationship as friends might change somehow or they might not even see him as a guy anymore

take your time!! i love ur writing btw !!!!!!

sp main 4 finding out reader is trans ftm

A/N: thank you so much!!! i can do a mtf or nb vers for anyone who wants it :) i'm sorry if anything is offensive or anything!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: some transphobia on cartmans part (i know this sounds bad but jsut read it😭) and probably some talk about dingalings and hoohas (very briefly)

stan marsh

he's curious about it!! like he'll ask a bunch of questions about how you found out and what it means and stuff

he honestly probably doesn't know a lot about it before u explain it to him. like he knows people are transgender but he never learned about gender dysphoria or why people transition

he might ask a few,, personal questions. he genuinely doesn't mean to be rude or weird he's just curious !! will stop and apologize if you are uncomfortable

"seriously, you don't look like you were born a girl. i never would've been able to tell."

it might make him question his own gender??? like he might talk to you about it sometimes and he explains it as 'not really feeling like either a boy or a girl'

other than that he doesn't really care, like he doesn't treat you any differently. honestly he probably forgets it if anything😭😭 like in the T.M.I. episode he asks why you aren't lining up to get ur wiener measured and then he's like oh yeah oops i forgot💀

kyle broflovski

"oh. really? like, actually? huh."

he's honestly just confused as you've never said anything about it before. he might ask why you didn't tell him but when you explain he understands and tells you he wouldn't view you differently no matter what

"i mean, i think it's stupid that some people deliberately go out of their way to misgender people. like, you've been a boy and i've always seen you as a boy, so why would i purposefully make you feel bad? that's just stupid!"

he appreciates if you teach him a bit more about it, 'cause he doesn't know a whole lot

i feel like he'd purposefully do more,, boyish things with you???? like he invites you to play football or play video games more or like idk. do boy things.

he doesn't do it to single you out, he just really wants to make sure you feel like you fit in with the rest of the guys, so he's always inviting you to meetings with the dudes and treating you like a brother

eric cartman

i feel like there are a lot of different ways this could go, but mainly i feel like he's never actually going to view you as a girl?? if that makes sense

like he'll make fun of you and probably tease you (similar the whole sand in kyles vagina thing and calling him ms. broflovski and shit yk??) but no matter how much he tries to crack transphobic jokes he still sees you as a guy

he honestly might be a little uncomfortable at first because he feels like you're 'a spy for the girls'. but he quickly gets a stern talking-to from kyle and at least doesn't voice that opinion anymore

either way as much as he hates it he still sees you as a dude, if anything it just makes him uncomfortable to think about ur (or anyones) sex so he just goes with the flow. literally dress up as anything and he'll treat you like it. he doesn't want to put that much effort into caring

so yeah he makes fun of you and misgenders you but not in a genuine way. he can try but he still views u as one of the guys so he just accepts it and moves on. again he doesn't care enough to dwell on it

kenny mccormick

he might ask a few questions like stan but he genuinely on god fr doesn't care. it literally does not affect his view on you at all

he doesn't necessarily fully understand what being trans means but he doesn't really need to to understand that u are what u are. like if ur happy being a dude then be a dude he doesn't get what's so hard to grasp for some people

kenny isn't really one for labels. he also hasn't really explored his gender and stuff and honestly?? he doesn't plan on it. it just doesn't matter to him, he's fine with just living his life (when he's actually alive and living it)

even if he does have a few erm personal questions he keeps them to himself. he knows it could be a touchy subject and he really just thinks that whatever you were born as isn't any of his business

he will defend u whenever you face harassment from certain people, like he honestly just tells them that it's not their business and to fuck off. he mostly jumps in because he knows it probably hurts to hear stuff like that and tries to tell you that it doesn't matter what other people think, all that matters is that ur happy in your skin :)

#south park #sp x reader #south park x reader #platonic sp x reader #south park x platonic reader #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #sp headcanons #sp fandom #pineappleciders

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yaniasogames · 10 months

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lacey’s flash games and the horrors of womanhood: part 1, lacey’s wardrobe!

(trigger warning for discussions and possible depictions of: sexual assault/rape, stalking, abuse, violent misogyny, gore)

so i guess it’s a bit awkward for me of all people - someone who is a girl but not assigned one at birth or passing - to be writing this post, but i just wanted to talk about this aspect of this series cause i think it’s a big part of why it feels so unique and why the horror works for so many people.

the lacey’s series is pretty often praised for it’s great horror and scares, as well as it’s depiction of trauma, but i think more specifically it deserves praise for taking subjects such as stalking and sexual abuse and executing them in a way that’s deeply sympathetic and yet still so shocking and effective.

in the first ever lacey’s video, lacey’s wardrobe, we of course follow the titular lacey in the titular game as she gets dressed for multiple occasions. a picnic, going to the mall, and a date with the “cutest guy.” all that is disrupted, though, by her stalker, a man who follows her in near every area of the game, proclaiming his love for her in a totally not creepy and invasive and wildly inappropriate way.

throughout the video, lacey seems to have no privacy, and no relief from her stalker. besides not even being safe in a public place like this one, some of the most terrifying events in the video bar the finale happen while she’s still at home. she gets threatening phone calls and a grotesque gift from the stalker that make her feel trapped, and there’s whole segments where the stalker is seen peering through her window and is heard knocking furiously on her door. all while she’s in her own bedroom getting dressed.

the videos ending consists of the player dressing up lacey and forcing her to go outside alone at night, even when she breaks the fourth wall and begs and begs and begs them not to. lacey gets cannibalized by her stalker, with audio of her crying and shots briefly flashing by of her dismembered corpse. unless, of course, her stalker kept her alive through all of this torture. said stalker’s reason for doing this?

this video on it’s own already carries a lot of dark subtext with it. it’s not uncommon knowledge that many people in real life experience stalking, with most victims being women. it’s also not uncommon knowledge that in many parts of the world, walking home at night as a woman is very unsafe and carries the risk of your wellbeing being in danger, which is why many women carry pepper spray and why products such as rape whistles exist. lacey is aware of her stalker, and pretty clearly feels unsafe throughout the whole video. her permanently smiling face and the music distort after the first call from the stalker, and she begs at the end not to go outside. she knows how vulnerable she is against this threat, but she has no agency as a video game character simply there to be dressed up and beautified by the player. it’s like watching prey get dropped right into the cage of a predator, despite all the fear it’s showing at the sound of the predators roars.

this feeling extends to how out of all of the ways lacey could’ve ended up at the end of the episode, the specific choice is made to have her be eaten. to be gruesomely consumed by a man who claims to “love” her. consumed so that he can keep a woman who shows zero interest in him all to himself, not even caring that she’s crying and in immense pain as he literally rips her apart. it’s entitled. it’s greedy. it��s horrifying. and everything about this video shows how many stalkers view their victims, and how many men view women in general - as something they consume, they indulge in. as pretty dress up dolls who only serve to fill them up and be the objects of their affection, even when those women don’t want it.

another thing to note (although i am definitely not trying to victim blame poor lacey in any capacity) is the outfit lacey wears at the end. while a common shitty excuse that rapists make to put down their victims is that “they were asking for it!!1” because of the clothes they chose to wear, lacey pretty obviously doesn’t have a choice in this situation, and for her date, the player chooses to put her in a red jacket, choker and daisy dukes, a color and articles of clothing that are often associated with flirtiness and sexuality by society. these would be great choices if lacey wanted to go on this date of her own volition, but it’s made unsettling because, again, she doesn’t have a damn choice. in two of the shots, there’s even deliberate focus on her torso and therefore chest and legs as she meets her demise. could these possibly be from the stalkers POV?

a piece of media that this all reminds me of is silent hill 3, an (actually real) horror game that also taps into the many fears women commonly face, and how it feels to be a girl in a world that largely sees you as nothing but a target, an object, a tool. while not directly tying into the main plot of that game, in the area of the brookhaven hospital, you can find letters directed to main character heather from an unseen man named stanley. these letters are very… purposefully uncomfortable. the whole vibe of this part is made even worse by the fact that 1) the sound design, way the letters are written and the fact that earlier letters disappear when you go back to them support the idea that stanley is actually in the hospital watching heather from afar, and 2) heather is still a teenager, only being 17 years old throughout this whole game. not even her young age protects her from these circumstances. hell, many girls that age are already thought of as being “woman” enough.

stanley, similar to lacey’s stalker, is convinced that himself and the girl he’s stalking are meant to be together, and he objectifies heather through his writing and the way he sends her a doll as a gift.

stanley is shown as well to be a physical threat to others. you can find out he stabbed another patient at the hospital completely unprompted, and in one of his final letters, the doll that was a gift to heather? it’s broken into pieces.

the parallels to lacey’s stalker are apparent, as he both shows signs of violence against others before harming lacey (yells and demands her to come outside over the phone and sends her a gift of blood and guts), and is shown to have broken lacey into pieces when he eats her. just like children with their dolls, violent and dangerously misogynistic men often decide to rip apart and carelessly destroy the women they view as their playthings when they aren’t getting what they want. they desire control and for women to feel like their tools, and their victims are often left feeling like they have nowhere to go that’s safe. not a picnic with friends, not the shopping mall, not their own house, nowhere at all. it’s profoundly isolating and calls to mind how many abusers function, with the typical victims of both domestic violence and stalking usually being - you guessed it - women.

while all of this is heavy stuff for one video, as the lore of the series expands in the following videos and you learn more of lacey’s situation, the themes of the abuse, objectification and unwanted sexualization women face are strengthened, and become even more integral to why the lacey’s games are the way they are.

as rocio, the in-universe creator of the series states, these are the real girl’s games.

#🐻💖#lacey’s flash games #lacey’s wardrobe #lacey’s games #lacey’s games spoilers #horror analysis #tws in post because idk what tumblr is doing with my damn tags #feminist analysis

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skz317cb97 · 2 years

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could you please do a comfort(?) fic with either chan or hyunjin, like i guess angst and fluff and smut if you feel up for it ofc. totally up to you. just the whole reader feels they add unnecessary stress to their life due to the fact they are always so busy. if that makes sense? thank you so much ❤️

The Field of Flowers

Chan x female reader

Word count: 7.9k

A/N: 18+ only! Okay babe this might be a bit of a bumpy ride so hold on! I hope you like it and it's up to your expectations! I debated heavily who to pick and initially was leaning towards Hyunjin but once I started the outline it screamed Chan. Thank you so much for sending in this request! Also tagging @cb97percent cause it's Channie. Smut below the cut.

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Strong language/cursing, Unprotected piv intercourse (use your head and condoms please), a little praise, of course pet names (baby girl/baby), M/C cries after sex (?), aftercare, ANGST, elements of anxiety and depression disorders, depictions of panic attacks and depressive episodes throughout the story. If these can be triggering topics for you please skip reading. Again, if I ever miss anything that should be in the warnings I apologize in advance. Please let me know and I will add them!

It had been a pretty typical morning for you so far. You had woken up a little down but you struggled with depression and anxiety so that wasn’t abnormal for you. You were adamant that you weren’t going to let it control your day today though. You tidied up around you and Chan’s apartment that you had shared together for about two months now and then you washed up, got dressed, and got ready to leave to run a few errands. You decided to make a little lunch for Chan and stop by work to see him while you were out getting things done. Knowing him if you didn’t take him lunch, he wouldn’t stop to eat until dinner time or even later. So, with his lunch in hand, you left your apartment building. You decided to walk since everything you had to do was fairly close together. You were also hoping the exercise and sunshine might help elevate your mood a bit before you saw Chan.

You dropped the mail off at the post, stopped by the little boutique Chan liked and got the shampoo and conditioner that he’d run out of, dropped some books you had read at the neighborhood book share box, and then headed towards Chan’s studio. When you walked into the building where Chan worked you went up to the front desk and flashed your ID at the girl behind the counter that was more than acquainted with your face at this point, then signed in before heading to the elevators. When the elevator doors opened you and quite a few other people got on. You weren’t the best at being in such close proximity to strangers, it made you incredibly nervous so by the time you got to the floor Chan’s studio was on you were a little antsy again. You took a few deep breaths as you walked down the hall. Once you were at Chan’s door you took one more deep breath before you tapped lightly on it. It only took a minute for the door to open and you were met with moppy hair, a huge smile, and chubby cheeks.

“Hey Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming by today!” Jisung said as he moved aside to allow you to enter.

“It’s a surprise, I brought Chan some lunch.” You walked in and at the sound of his name Chan turned around and saw you standing there holding a lunch box and bottle of water. A smile spread across his entire face but as happy as he was you couldn’t help but notice how exhausted he looked. He was pale and his eyes were dark, his curls a bit unruly, and his lips were a little raw from him chewing at them while worrying and concentrating on whatever track him and the guys had been working on all this time. He stood up and walked over to you, grabbing the lunch box and water and giving you a quick peck on the lips. He sat the food down on his desk and then turned back and pulled you in for a proper hug and kiss to thank you for the sweet gesture.

“Thank you, baby girl.” He planted another, more lingering kiss on your lips and Jisung made a dramatic puke face.

“Gross I’m out. I’ll be back after lunch!” Chan laughed as he stood there with his arms around you his hands resting on your back.

“Alright Ji I’ll see you after bit man.” Jisung smiled and winked at you and made his way out of the studio leaving the two of you alone. Once Jisung was gone Chan leaned in and gave you a deeper kiss than before. He pulled you tight against his body and traced the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip before sliding it across yours. You ran your fingers through his messy curls as your tongues teased each other, earning a low groan from your boyfriend. Chan’s hands traveled from your back down to grab your hands full your ass and squeeze but you had to tut him because this was not what you had intended when you came to see him at work.

“Channie…” His lips refused to leave yours as you called him.

“Mmmhm.. Cha.. mmhhm…Channieeee.” Your hands came to rest against the firm pectoral muscles of his chest and you lightly pushed at him and laughed. When his lips finally parted from yours, he looked at you giving you a pouty face.

“Oh, now don’t give me that face. I came here to bring you lunch not to…” You gestured between the two of you to get your point across and Chan smirked.

“Not to fuck me?” Blush started creeping up your neck at his blunt words.

“Yes precisely.” You tried to sound unbothered, like his words didn’t have an effect on you. You were certain you didn’t succeed because Chan ducked his head down and started kissing your neck as he continued to knead your ass in his hands.

“I just want to properly thank you baby girl.” His voice was low as he spoke, his lips lingering close to your skin. You braced yourself against his chest and he nibbled at a particularly ticklish spot, you let out another little laugh. You were melting under his hands and lips as usual and you were starting to lose this battle that you weren’t sure you really wanted to win in the first place. Just as you felt Chan sink his teeth into the crook of your neck and shoulder and run his tongue along the bite, just as you were finally giving in to the temptation that was your gorgeous boyfriend, Changbin walked into the studio.

“OH SHIT! Uh… sorry to uh… interrupt. The door was unlocked.” You pushed Chan off you. Your face was beet red, your heart racing, embarrassed. You tried to explain.

“No uh.. it’s okay Bin we weren’t…” If possible, your face burned even hotter as your words caught in your throat. You could feel your heart beat in your ears.

“I mean I… uh I was just about to go get a coffee. Do you want coffee?” Changbin couldn’t help the small smile that crept on his face at your flustered state, being caught in a somewhat compromising position with Chan but he didn’t want to make you more uncomfortable so he let it go instead of teasing.

“No thank you Y/N I’m good.” You turned to Chan who, at first was grinning like the cat that caught the canary but when he saw the look on your face, how anxious and uncomfortable you seemed his face turned serious. He grabbed your hand and ran his thumb along the back of it.

“Hey, are you alright?” You nodded and forced a smile.

“Yea you and Changbin do your thing. I’m just gonna get a little air and grab some coffee and then I’ll come back and sit with you while you eat your lunch, okay?” Chan looked at you for a minute and after you gave him another tight smile he shook his head, leaned in, and kissed your cheek.

“Okay baby, if you’re sure.” You nodded again and excused yourself as you walked past Changbin who moved aside giving you an apologetic smile. Once you were out of the small studio you didn’t feel like you were suffocating quite so much. You made your way down to the lobby and out of the building taking a deep breath of air in once you were outside. Your racing heart was starting to slow back down and you started to walk towards the café that was just a little down the block. You got your coffee quickly and headed straight back so that Chan wasn’t waiting to eat any longer than he already had. When you had made it back you noticed the studio door was cracked so you went to walk in without knocking this time but before you could, you over heard Chan and Changbin talking.

“God, I have been so stressed lately. I’m just completely exhausted. I feel like I’m about at my breaking point man.” It was Chan speaking. You waited to go in and listened more. You knew he looked tired and if he was admitting it then he had to be bad. It stressed you out to no end and you worried about him, about his health.

“There’s just so much going on. Performances, producing, photo shoots, fan signs, work in general you know and then home.” You held your breath at the mention of home and Chan continued.

“Just the move, we’re still getting all the way settled, which causes stress, and Y/N has needed a bit more attention because of it. You know new environment, change, it’s hard, she’s been having a lot of anxiety issues and with everything else it’s a lot sometimes but she is trying…” His words gave you a sudden sharp pain in your heart. You backed away from the door as you felt tears stinging your eyes. You were on the list of things that were stressing him out. You were supposed to be taking away from that list not adding to it.

You did have panic attacks a lot, especially recently. Because you didn’t like the way your medicine made you feel you often wouldn’t take it until the panic attack was already on top of you. When you were in the middle of particularly bad ones Chan always made sure you were okay enough for him to run and grab your pills before he left you, coming back with your meds and some juice. When you would calm down enough to stand being touched again, he would hold you, run his fingers through your hair and hum a quiet song, sometimes you knew it and sometimes it was just his own. If Chan wasn’t dealing with that it was your low lows. When you went into an active depressive state it would take hours of him trying to get you out of bed. Bribing you with food that you loved that didn’t sound appetizing or walks by the river that were usually one of your favorite things to do with Chan. If that didn’t work usually, he could get you to agree to sit up and drink water at least. He was good at convincing you things were really easier than what they seemed to you. So, once you were up drinking it was easier to get you to say yes to ramen and movies on the couch and eventually after a day or two, Chan would pull you back up from the chasm you’d fallen into.

He did ALL that for you plus everything else he’d just named and MORE! You were on the list, not helping take away from it. Instead of going into the studio you backed away and turned back towards the elevator. The tears in your eyes starting to roll down your cheeks as you waited for the elevator to open. Just as the doors opened you saw Jisung coming through from the stair well at the other end of the hall. When he saw you, he flashed you his mega-watt smile.

“Hey Y/N you leaving already? I haven’t gotten to see you yet.” You quickly put your head down pretending you didn’t see or hear him, not wanting Jisung to see you crying. You didn’t want him to know you were upset, if he saw you crying then Chan would know and he’d worry and would want to know why and… if you didn’t get out of there now you were going to panic. You hurried into the elevator as soon as the doors were all the way open and started pressing the close door button immediately. When you didn’t answer Jisung, at first, he thought maybe you didn’t hear him. He thought you had seen him but he was far enough away that maybe he was wrong. He started jogging down to the elevator so he could see you quickly before you left. You started to calm down when you saw the doors first starting to close but just as they closed a little further, Jisung’s face appeared. You looked up wide eyed, shocked to see him at the elevator already when he had been so far down the hall before. When he saw you tears streaked your face and the smile that was on his fell just as the doors closed. Alone in the elevator you took deep breaths trying to calm both your panic and crying. When the doors opened again you quickly made your way through the lobby and out of the building. You started towards yours and Chan’s apartment as fast as possible dead set on what you had just decided.

Jisung was confused, were you crying? What happened? He walked down to the studio and walked in finding Chan and Changbin acting totally normal, still talking, now about the track they had all been working on. Jisung squinted his eyes at them, his tongue poked out a bit, and he hiked his thumb back.

“I just saw Y/N by the elevators…” Chan smiled when Jisung said your name.

“Oh, she must be back from getting her coffee is she right behind you?” Jisung shook his head and Changbin noticed the slightly uneasy look on Jisung’s face.

“No, she was getting in the elevator she, she looked like she was crying.” Chan’s smile fell from his face. Had the incident with Changbin shaken you up more than he’d realized? He grabbed his phone and tried to call you but you didn’t answer. He decided to give you a bit, maybe you actually were more upset about the Changbin thing than he’d thought and you just wanted to get home. Chan waited until he thought you should be back at the apartment and tried calling again but still no answer. He waited a few minutes in between and tried to call a couple more times, then he texted you. ‘Hey are you okay? Jisung said you were leaving and looked upset. Do you need me?’

Your phone rang again. You didn’t look at it, you knew who it was and you had no intention of answering it. You couldn’t, not when you knew he would just coax you into spilling out everything that was wrong, talk you out of what you had to do. The caring, selfless person that he was, he would tell you everything that he knew you needed to hear and he would talk you down to his own detriment, because you would still be on the list of things that added to his stress. You heard your phone ding with a text notification. You picked it up to see what Chan had said. ‘Hey are you okay? Jisung said you were leaving and looked upset. Do you need me?’

Do you need me? Your heart hurt. But you would still be on the list of things that added to his stress. You hit the button on the side of your phone making the screen go black and put it in your pocket before throwing the last of the clothes you needed into your suit case and zipping it closed. You went out into the living room and you sat at the desk you kept in the corner. You opened the middle drawer, pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing. The tears were back in your eyes more prevalent than before, fat drops falling from your nose to the page making the ink bleed a little where they hit. You tried to write as clearly as possible through your tear blurred vision. When you were done you folded it, put it in an envelope, and wrote Chan’s name on the outside of it before bringing it to your lips and kissing it. You set it down on the living room table, grabbed your suit case and left even though it shattered your heart to do so. But you wouldn’t be on the list of things that added to his stress.

Back at the studio Chan was REALLY starting to worry it had been about thirty minutes since Jisung had seen you leaving. “Guys if she doesn’t call or text in the next fifteen minutes, I’m going to check on her.” Changbin and Jisung nodded in understanding. Jisung had anxiety too so knew better than anyone how it was when you felt like the world was closing in on you and you couldn’t control your bodies response. The feeling of losing control only added to the panic you already felt which added and so on until you spiraled and shut down or screamed. Chan understood that sometimes when it was like that you needed space to come back to your senses BUT sometimes you needed help coming back, someone to ground you. Chan was trying to be a good boyfriend by doing what he could, by treading the line of giving you space to sort things out and going to check on you to see if you needed help. When it was rounding the forty-minute mark Chan was getting fidgety. It only took twenty minutes to walk home and if you were upset surly that would be where you would go. As soon as the hand on the clock hit the fifteen-minute mark Chan had set, he sprung up from his chair to start towards your apartment.

“Let us know what’s up hyung!” Changbin called out and Chan was out the door with a wave in reply. Chan did his best not to sprint the whole way to the apartment but by the time he got there he was sweating, curls sticking to his forehead, and his chest was heaving from the exertion. He unlocked and burst through the door of your apartment calling out to you immediately and getting no response. He checked the kitchen and living room quickly and then made his way down the hall, checking the guest room, the office, the bathroom and finally your shared bedroom. You weren’t anywhere in the apartment and now Chan was really panicking. What if you’d gotten hurt? What if something happened to you? Chan pulled out his phone and called you again. Straight to voicemail. His heart sank. He couldn’t put his finger on one exact reason but he knew something was terribly wrong. He ran back out to the living room and a white envelope on the table, that he hadn’t seen before, caught his eye. He picked it up and saw his name written on the outside in your beautifully delicate handwriting. Now his heart was in his throat and he thought he might throw up. His hands shook as he opened the envelope, pulled out the letter and began to read.

Channie,

I just can’t stay and do this to you anymore. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for any pain I have caused you. Just know that this is for the best. It’s what’s best. I know it may not seem like it now and it doesn’t seem fair that we didn’t get goodbye but I knew if I waited. If I stayed for goodbye, that I wouldn’t do it and I have to. I have to leave. Promise to take care of yourself and to be happy. You deserve all of the happiness and peace in the world and I hope you find it. I love you Chan, I always will.

Always yours,

Y/N

Chan choked out a sob and crumpled the letter in his hands as he sank down on the couch and cried. What did you mean it was what was best? Always yours? How can that be if you’re gone? Chan curled up there on the couch with your letter and cried until he fell asleep from exhaustion. When Changbin and Jisung never heard from Chan they decided to go check on you both. It was dark by the time they reached the apartment and from the looks of it, it seemed like all the lights were off. They debated whether to go or to knock but decided they were already there, so they went ahead and knocked on the door.

Chan woke up to the sound of their knocking. His eyes were heavy, difficult to open because they were so swollen from sleeping and crying but he managed to squint and walk his way to the front door with your letter still clutched in his hand. Maybe it was you. Maybe you had come back. When he opened the door, he put up his hand to block his face, blinded by the hall lights for a minute.

When Chan's vision came back, he moved his hand and saw Jisung and Changbin standing there. The small bit of hope fell from his face and his heart broke again. He had been half asleep and not thinking. They were knocking, why would YOU be knocking. You would have walked in. You would have woken him from the couch and scolded him for not sleeping in bed. You would have kissed him all the way to your room before making love and falling asleep in his arms. You wouldn’t have knocked, of course it wasn’t you. When the guys saw Chan, they both immediately could tell something was definitely not right.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Jisung was able to blurt out first. Chan’s broad shoulders were slunk down and even though he’d gotten a few hours of sleep he looked absolutely terrible.

“She’s gone.” Was all he could choke out. He held out your letter as the tears welled and fell from his eyes again. Changbin grabbed the crunched-up piece of paper from Chan and his eyes started scanning it. He frowned at the tear-soaked page, looked at Jisung, and shook his head.

You got a hold of to an old school friend that lived in the country and they offered to let you with them for a while. You thought maybe you needed some time in the quiet, maybe if you were far enough away it wouldn’t hurt so much. Instead, once you got there, you ended up turning your phone off, closing the curtains, getting into bed and staying there. Your friends gave you a couple days before they intervened but no matter how hard your friends tried they couldn’t get you to get up out of bed. Two weeks of practically force -feeding you ramen, crackers, and water, willing you to get up one of the days each week and at least shower, which you begrudgingly did so. Finally, you managed to drag yourself out of the bed on your own. It wasn’t easy and you were still unbearably sad but you got yourself up and dressed. Baby steps.

The first couple days you stuck close to the farm house. You did dishes and cleaned up some to try and make up for what you had put your friends through the last couple of weeks. Having been in bed so long after a couple days around the house, you started to get a little stir crazy. So, you went on a walk. About a mile or so up the road from the house there was a field of tall grass and wild flowers. Each day that week you went on a walk to that field. You would look out at it and think about Chan. You would day dream about old memories of you two together and wonder what he was doing right then and then when you couldn’t take your own thoughts any more you would go back to the house. Finally, one day when you got to your field instead of just standing there, you actually walked into it. You ran your hands over the tops of the tall grass and went through picking a few of the wild flowers here and there. Some that you thought were pretty, some that you thought Chan would think were pretty, until you had a bouquet of the random flowers. The sun was warm and when you walked through the field it felt good to air out and breathe in the beautiful smell of the flowers. Yet still despite that your heart still felt like it was made of iron. It was so heavy in your chest. You made your way back to your friend’s house.

When you got to the farm house you put the flowers you had picked into a vase you found and decided it was time to turn on your phone and try and get back to the real world. Time to figure what normal was going be for you now. When you turned on your phone, as expected, all of the texts and missed call notifications from the last 3 weeks came pouring in, most of which were Chan but there were also some from other friends and the guys also checking in on you. You looked at the first few texts Chan sent. All of what you saw of them was him pleading for you to come back and talk to him. To tell him what was wrong. Why you left. Where are you? Are you okay? You stopped reading and deleted the rest. You looked at a few from your other friends and some from the guys and then you marked all as read and put your phone in your pocket. Just as you did it started to ring. Surprised, you grabbed it and looked at the screen seeing Felix’s name and the picture you had of him grinning ear to ear. The corner of your mouth turned up a little seeing his bright smile as you contemplated and then decided to swipe and answer. When Felix heard the click of the phone picking up, he was elated. He, as well as the others and especially Chan, had all been trying to call you for weeks to no avail. When he heard your voice, he about burst.

“Hello? Lix?” You sounded drained, but it was really you. He didn’t mean to but his all his words starting coming out like vomit.

“Oh my god! Y/N! Are you okay? Where are you? Do you need me to come get you? Are you safe?” You had to interrupt him to get a word in to answer the questions he had already spewed out at you.

“I’m okay Lix. I’m with some of my old school friends. I am safe don’t worry.” Felix huffed a half laugh incredulously.

“Don’t worry!? It’s been weeks we’ve all been worried sick Y/N, especially Chan, he…” You cut Felix off again.

“Don’t. I… don’t tell me. I know okay. I just I did what I felt like was the right thing, what I KNEW was the right thing.” Felix didn’t understand. From what he’d heard about that day from the guys, there wasn’t anything that would warrant you leaving so abruptly like that.

“Why though? Why do you think that?” You let out a long sigh. It was a lot to get into on the phone and Felix realized that.

“Look come have lunch with me tomorrow please? Talk to me.” You were unsure if you were ready to do that. You didn’t know if you’d be able to talk about it and you weren’t sure if you were ready to see any of the guys yet. You knew you couldn’t see Chan. You wouldn’t. Felix could sense your apprehension even over the phone.

“Please Y/N, just lunch, just with me. I’ll meet you in the lobby at work.” You took a deep breath and decided to agree under one condition.

“Okay Lix, just you, just lunch, and I’ll meet you outside the building. I don’t want to risk running into Chan while I’m there. It won’t help anything.” Felix agreed to your terms.

“Okay Y/N. 2pm tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow Lix.” He gave you a little hum.

“Take care of yourself Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow.” After you hung up with Felix you started to gather your things from around the farm house. You hugged your friends, and thanked them profusely for allowing you to stay there and for helping you. Of course they were happy to, they loved you just the same as they always had. Even if you didn’t get to see each other as often as before, they would always love you and be there for you and they made sure you knew that before you grabbed your suitcase and headed back towards the city.

It was night by the time you got back. You got a room and immediately crashed, all the emotions of the day, the weeks really, catching up to you. You fell into the big soft bed in your hotel room and drifted to sleep quickly. The next morning you woke up groggy. You may have fallen asleep easily but you had nightmares all night and it was not a restful sleep. You got up and showered, got dressed and fuddled around until it was time to meet Felix. You were outside of the building, like you had agreed, at five till two. You texted Felix to let him know you were there and then you waited. After about ten minutes he texted you back.

‘I’m so sorry! I’m running behind finishing something up. Can you meet me up in the practice room?’ Your heart started racing. You didn’t want to even risk going into the building let alone up to the same floor as Chan’s studio. You text Felix back.

‘Lix please just meet me down here. I told you… I can’t.’ Your chest felt tight and your tried to do your breathing. Your text notification went off again.

‘I’m the only one here. It won’t take me too long but you shouldn’t wait out on the street for me. Just come up. Please?’ You let out an exasperated sigh but decided if you weren’t at risk of running into Chan then it should be okay. You went into the building and walked up to the same counter as usual, with the same girl sitting behind it. It had been quite a while since she’d seen you last and she looked a little surprised but regardless, you flashed your ID and signed in before heading for the elevator and to the practice room where Felix was.

So, Felix might have fibbed just a little. He was alone in the practice room but Chan was there in his studio working, or at least trying to. He hadn’t been able to do much of anything the last three weeks that you had been gone. Knowing that, Felix made sure to do what he could to convince Chan to go to work that day. You stepped off the elevator and looked down the hall opposite of Chan’s studio, towards the practice room, searching for Felix. Then you heard the familiar squeak of Chan’s studio door opening from behind you. You froze. When you finally made yourself turn around and look, you saw Chan walking out and your heart crumbled to dust. He looked even worse than the last time you’d seen him. His eyes puffy, worry lines more prominent on his face, he looked pale and gaunt. He clearly had not been eating or sleeping well. His eyes scanned up from his feet and met your figure standing there in the hall. He stood there expressionless for a moment. He was certain he had finally slipped into delirium from lack of sleep. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again. You were still there. Felix hadn’t told Chan he’d spoken to you or that he was supposed to be having lunch with you that day. So, when Chan saw you standing there and he realized you weren’t a walking day dream, he was in shock. Then he was angry. He was relieved to see you of course. Beside himself knowing that you were safe, although you looked like you had been through hell yourself the last few weeks. Still, he couldn’t help the anger that bubbled inside along with all of his other emotions. You saw him make a b line for you and you bounced on the balls of your feet nervously. When he was there, right in front of you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face. He looked so angry walking up to you. You stared at the floor trying to get words to come out but they kept dying on the tip of your tongue.

“Chan… I…” Was all you could manage. Chan didn’t say anything. He just gently grabbed your hand and pulled you towards his studio. Once you both were in the room Chan closed and locked the door. Now that you were able to speak privately. Chan spun around to face you unable to hold back his emotions anymore and they came out in the form of rage.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! YOU JUST LEFT ME! HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THAT Y/N?!” His face was red and he had huge tears welling up in his big brown eyes. You were speechless. He had never even raised his voice in anger in front of you, he had certainly NEVER yelled at YOU like that before. You didn’t know what to say. You stood there stunned.

“ANSWER ME!” He yelled again the veins in his forehead and neck becoming more prominent the angrier he got. You jumped and choked on your words as you too started to cry. You managed to swallow the lump in your throat and form the words to answer him.

“I couldn’t stay knowing that I was hurting you, that I was holding you down.” You sobbed out and Chan’s face fell. He didn’t yell again but his voice was still serious laced with confusion.

“What are you talking about?” You bit at your lips nervously trying to keep yourself from slipping into a panic attack. You took a deep shuddering breath.

“That day… I over heard you and Changbin talking…” Chan didn’t understand. He racked his brain trying to remember him and Changbin’s conversation. What he could have said that would make you think that you were doing any of those things to him. You continued.

“You were talking about how tired and stressed you were with work, home….” You choked on another sob.

“Me. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay knowing that I was adding to that. That I was another piece of your life that was wearing you down instead of building you up, supporting you. I couldn’t Chan…. I couldn’t….” You gasped trying to get enough air and calm down as you started to shake and cry harder and Chan finally realized what you were talking about. His anger started melting away and he took a step closer to you, reaching out to pull you into his embrace, which only made you sob harder against him.

“Baby, I… I didn’t mean it like that. You do support me, you add to the joy in my life not the pain, don’t you see that?” You shook your head against his chest. You couldn’t.

“Y…you just always have to deal with so much and then on top of that you are always helping me when I’m anxious or having lows. I don’t help. I’m whittling away at you Chan. I’m not good for you.” Chan took your face into his hands gently and made you look at him.

“Listen to me do you understand?! You absolutely do NOT whittle away from me do you hear me? You make me whole Y/N. You being with me has made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I will always comfort you when you need it, helping you through your lows and your fears, it’s not a burden to me. It is the hardest way I know how to love you.” Chan held your face firmly so you couldn’t look away, though you tried. You looked into his eyes and you saw that he truly meant what he said. There was not an ounce of doubt or dishonesty in what he was telling you.

“No matter what, the one thing that’s always there, the one constant for BOTH of us, is that we have each other. You’re it for me Y/N, always got that? Always. Promise me baby, promise me you will never leave me like that again.” Tears were streaking Chan’s face and yours. You had never heard Chan say anything like that before. You knew he loved you but he had never so been so outright about saying he saw forever with you. Your bottom lip quivered and you shook your head as tears continued to stream from your eyes. His smile spread all the way to his eyes, his hands still cupping your face, he pulled you in and kissed you. His fingers gently grazed your face as you shared the sweet kiss. Your hands pressed against his chest, stabilizing yourself. Lightheaded from the surge of different emotions, or Chan’s kiss, or both. Chan pulled away, wrapping his arms around your waist and rested his head against yours. You looked into each-others eyes and then he kissed you again, more passionately. Chan started walking you back towards the couch. He sat down and pulled you to sit on top of him your legs straddling his lap. His lips traveled, down your jaw to your neck and he gently kissed and licked the spots he knew made you weak while his hands roamed your body over your clothes. Your skin started to burn under his touch even through the clothes. It was so much so fast you weren’t sure what was going on or if it should be. You pulled away and put your hands against Chan’s shoulders stopping him.

“Chan…” He could hear the uncertainty in your voice. His hands came up to cup your face again, your own falling to your sides as he looked at you with his endless brown eyes. He kissed you softly, his pouty full lips gently pressed to yours, pulling away he met your eyes again.

“Baby girl, I missed you so much.” Another tender kiss placed by his plump lips. They hovered over yours, both of your eyes closed.

“It’s okay baby.” His voice was a whisper. Another kiss, deeper than the last and his hands started traveling from your face down your neck, finger tips brushing gently as Chan’s hands came to rest against your breasts over your shirt and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. You were breathless panting against his lips, he parted from yours again only enough to form words.

“It’s okay… it’s okay. Let me take care of you baby girl. Let me make love to you.” Chan’s head dipped and his lips pressed against and softly sucked at the pulse point on your neck while gently squeezing your breasts together. You rested your hands against his firm abs as his hands moved from your breasts to your waist, pulling you closer to him. You slid over his lap and suddenly you could feel Chan’s erection underneath you, pressing against your already sensitive pussy. His eyes closed and a soft pant left him with the new pressure against his cock, his warm breath ghosted your neck. Your hands slid up Chan’s chest and rested on his broad shoulders and you pressed your core down more firmly against his hard on, sliding over his lap again. This time Chan let out a grunt and his hips jerked up searching for even more friction. Chan’s hands continued moving lower past your waist, until he was lightly gripping your ass, urging you to continue moving while he thrusted up into your jean covered cunt. Chan’s mouth was on yours again peppering kisses against your jaw before claiming your lips yet again. Grinding against his cock while he devoured your lips had you soaking wet you could feel the fabric of your panties starting to stick to you. You applied a little pressure to Chan’s shoulders with your palms and stopped him again. He quickly did so, pulling away and looking at you tenderly, breathless. You bit at your bottom lip, your face flushed and your eyes blown with lust. Chan didn’t think you could look more beautiful. You were always beautiful but especially so right now like that. Your hands came up and you ran your fingers through his curls. Chan closed his eyes at the gentle contact. Your hands traced down his face and cupped his jaw. You stopped and he opened his eyes looking at you again. You leaned in and kissed him this time.

“I need you Chan. Please.” His lips quickly found yours again as he nodded. You quickly stood up off of Chan’s lap and started taking your pants and panties off while Chan frantically pulled his shirt off over his head exposing his chiseled torso before working at removing his pants, lifting his hips and pulling his pants and boxer briefs down his legs together. Before he could get them all the way off you were back on his lap, gripping his shoulders again, your bare wet pussy already grazing his throbbing cock. Chan lost what little control he had left. He pushed your shirt up enough to expose your breasts, wrapped his arms around your midsection and pulled you close enough to latch on to one of your nipples sucking it between his pouty lips and into his wet mouth. His tongue danced over it before he moved to give your other breast the same treatment. He started placing kisses back up your chest and neck before tasting your lips again. His one arm stayed wrapped around your waist holding you in place as his other hand gripped his dick and pushed into your soaked heat. When you felt the tip of Chan’s cock inside you, you sat all the way down on him, taking him whole until you could feel his balls pressed against your ass, feeling the slight sting and delicious stretch he gave you. Chan’s head rolled back and his eyes closed as he fervently chewed at his bottom lip trying to not bust his nut already. With his head still back and eyes still closed, his hands guided your hips to slowly start moving your wet cunt over his length.

“That’s it baby, fuck you feel so tight. Real slow like that for me okay?” You complied and continued to slowly rock back and forth on Chan’s throbbing dick, your palms pressed into his chest for leverage as your knees dug into the couch on either side of his legs. When Chan was finally able to open his eyes and look back up at you, you leaned down and kissed him. Your tongues fighting for dominance as you started to fuck yourself faster on his thick cock. Chan’s hips started thrusting up finding your rhythm quickly helping to work you towards your climax.

“Mmm yes Channie, god that feels so fucking good.” You moaned out as you rode him harder, your hands gripping the back of his neck and hair. You both fucked like that for what seemed like forever. Hips bucking into each other your clit rubbing against the firm muscles directly over his cock as you rubbed your ground your pussy against his hips, his hands gripping, squeezing, and kneading your ass as he urged you to keep moving on top of him. You were so wet now you were dripping down Chan’s balls. You could feel your climax approaching fast, Chan could too. When he felt your walls begin to flutter around his dick, he wrapped his arms firmly around your midsection again.

“Hold on baby girl.” He warned you just before he lifted his hips and you off the couch and started fucking up into you hard and fast. You fell forward catching yourself on the back of the couch, your breasts bouncing in Chan’s face as he continued to pound into your cunt. The sopping wet sound his balls that were soaked in your juices made was pornographic as they made contact with your ass every time he pushed his cock deeper inside you. Chan put one of his hands in the middle of your back and and the other between your shoulder blades and pulled you down on top of him the rest of the way. He held your firm against him as he pumped his length in and out of you at an almost inhuman pace. Chan looked up at you on top of him taking his whole cock, a moaning mess as your hair hung down and your soft breasts pressed against his firm chest. He pecked your lips sweetly as he continued to fuck you raw.

“Come on baby, cum for me cum for me beautiful.” He whispered against your lips pecking them in between. You wrapped your arms around Chan’s head threading your fingers through his hair and pulling as your orgasm tore through your body.

“Fuck! Yes Chan! Oh.. Oh my god yes!” You held on to your fists full of Chan’s hair as he continued to fuck you through your climax, coming shortly after you. You let out a soft whimper as you felt Chan’s cum paint your insides while you started to come down from the buzzing in your head.

“That’s my girl, mmm, you take my cum so well baby, you’re so pretty.” He praised you as he pumped his cock into you a couple of more times pushing his cum deep inside you before stilling. Holding you close, his dick still buried inside you. Chan lowed his hips and you down to the floor in front of the couch. You sat there straddling him, your arms wrapped around each other, faces tucked into each-others necks warm puffs of breath exchanged between the two of you, as Chan started to soften inside you. One of Chan’s hands rested on your thigh rubbing gentle circles into your skin as his other hand ran through your hair and down your back, while placing soft kisses on your neck and shoulder. You sat there and held Chan so tight, as you still trembled from your orgasm. You held him like if you loosened your grip on him that he might disappear and then tears started to prick your eyes and fall. Chan felt a warm wet drop hit his shoulder and he pulled you back to see you crying.

“Hey hey hey, baby girl. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” You shook your head as Chan swiped at your tears.

“It’s nothing I’m… I’m just… I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry. I love you so much Chan.” Chan smiled as his heart burst. He kissed your cheeks where your tears had just been wiped away and then pulled you close and held you against his chest.

“Don’t cry baby. It’s all okay now. I love you too. Don’t cry.” Chan sat there cuddling you and running his fingers over your skin, through your hair, soothing you for a good while like that. Finally, Chan got up, lifting you with him, and sat you down on the couch. He pulled his pants and underwear up from his ankles and then helped you clean up and get dressed too. After you both were fully dressed again, Chan slid his hand into yours, weaving your fingers together. You looked up at him and smiled and he kissed your forehead.

“Let’s go home baby girl.”

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

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vickozone · 6 months

Text

The Magnus Archives

-S5 Notes-

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Handwriting translated below:

#161 old memories, tape that Gertrude should have gave them, Jon says “I love you”, they don’t need to eat to live

#162 Gertrude and Gerry bonding, Tim and Sasha talking about a very relevant subject and Jon and Martin are leaving the safe house.

#163 [VIETNAM FLASHBACKS] [BAGPIPES INTENSIFY]

#164 Gross statement about an infection in a town and Helen talking to Jon and Martin like a proud aunt is beautiful. “I knew you crazy kids would make it work!”

#165 “Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.” The Stranger statement. Not!Sasha messed up!!

#166 Martin suddenly is on a murder episode and a dude turned into a worm. Helen says “Slay!”

#167 “Yes, Martin, you are my reason.” Sweet bonding and why Gertrude didn’t have anymore assists.

#168 “I’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous!” “Why not?” Oh, Martin. Oliver Banks shall live another day and we are crossing The End domain

#169 Let’s willingly run into a burning building, disregarding your boyfriend and getting revenge together! Jude is now dead and Martin was just struggling in the background. He chose revenge over his boyfriend. Interesting. “We’re burning!”

#170 “I’m Martin Blackwood, and I am not lonely anymore!” “Oh… Hello!”

#171 No way I just spent 23 minutes listening to Jon talk about skin flowers in a botanical garden. “That your boyfriend?” “It is, actually.” “Oh.”

#172 Creepy theatre show that made me genuinely uncomfortable with The Web

#173 Where do you think all of the children went? That’s right! The Dark with Callum! Yay!

#174 Simon calling Jon killing him “rude” is hilarious and immediately dipping is iconic. Weird Vast domain with big explosions. Helen loves some good gossip.

#175 The Extinction items, hate for umbrellas, and Martin’s squelchy couch. We’re going to The Hunt next. Oh no.

#176 Adoptive uncle Trevor and Julia are dead. AWESOME HUNT STATEMENT! And we got Basira! :D

#177 ‘Dr. David’ Jon is so hot. This episode has so many trigger warnings. Helen is so silly. Basira is rad, staying with her boys. Won’t let them have a moment tho

#178 More Flesh. Gross processing line and Jon admits that the thing that traumatized him the most was Daisy going to kill him in the woods. Poor babies.

#179 Daisy is shot and killed. Basira is on her own and I have a reason to give Jon a cane.

#180 I have never felt more serene in my life. I can’t even describe it. I was smiling, giggling, and everything feels okay. Salesa and Annabelle are here and I love Salesa’s voice and HE CAN PLAY THE PIANO! Teaholding fluff, om nom nom, this episode is one of my favorites. The I-Spy game <3

#181 They decide to stay at Upton House for a bit longer before leaving. Jon feels his powers again and forgets the whole experience of ignorance. Pity. Seemed like a nice place. I like Salesa.

#182 Anatomy Class student hospital and Breekon asks Jon to kill him. I feel bad for him. :(

#183 “I’m sure I love you.” “I love you too.” THEY SAID IT!! Helen was concerned for them. She’s like a wine aunt who acts motherly to them. Also, Martin’s domain…

#184 Jon made Jordan an entity. That’s a lotta ants! Jon is just… so complicated.

#185 Ouch. Police brutality and wrongful imprisonment are rough subjects. That guy pleading out to Martin HURT. Martin is… somewhere at the end. Alone again, oh, Jonny, I feel horrible.

#186 Martin went from being a joke in Jon’s anger to being one of the most well-developed characters. He is either going to kill himself of Jon. Martin legit talks to himself. Statement made me cry. This better end with them being happy together.

#187 HELEN! D: Aw, man… I liked her. That poor woman. Calm down, Jon! Helen was their friend till the end. Dang it, that was a nail-biter.

#188 We’re in London now! Eyes, man. They’re everywhere. We grieve for Helen a bit. Did I mention EYES?

#189 MEL AND GEORGIE! OMG! They… made a cult and can hide from The Eye. Great.

#190 Fresh take on modern dating! Antichrist plus one! Archivist mocks poems, beloved pet turned monster, and a blind prophet

#191 Jon sleeps with his eyes open. Georgie wants to avenge her cat (I think I’ve seen this film before), mystery can, and Jon and Martin discuss death. Sobbing atm.

#192 Rosie is literally just going with the flow. It’s weird to see someone else’s perspective on things. Jonah’s incantation is awesome and gosh, I love Martin

#193 Elias 'high as a kite' Bouchard’s origins. Jonah’s distorted voice is hot.

#194 THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT D: After a gruesome metamorphosis statement, Jon tried to find Martin to apologize only to find he was taken to HILL TOP FREAKIN ROAD

#195 Just Basira and Jon, catching up and trudging through water. Omg. The Mr. Spider tape.

#196 Earth shattering rip-in-space time crap. Annabelle is wicked cool. Martin keeps getting sucked into things AND THE TAPES!! ASDFEKGLZMV

#197 MARTIN! ANNABELLE! TAPES! THE LIGHTER! INTER-DIMENSIONAL PIT! WE NEED TO DESTROY JONAH AND THE EYE SIMULTANEOUSLY! LES GO!

#198 If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too? Ew, bones reforming. Chill ep. Silly.

#199 Group agrees on plan after ten minute discussion. Martin consulting Jon while he cries in his arms HURT!! Also, Mel thanks Jon. This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?

#200 Statement ends.

Crying tally: |||| |||| (I cried ten [10] times listening to this stupid podcast)

#the magnus archives #tma #the magnus institute #tma jon #tma spoilers #tma season 5 #tma s5 #tma s5 spoilers #tma notes

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sparklyeyedhimbo · 1 year

Text

To honor that we are getting puentalay as dads in the next our skyy 2 episode.

Many of you guys not knowing what is going on in this series and getting confused with the whole different universes and body swapping thing.

✨I am here yet again to try to explain and spoil the series a bit.✨

get yourself something to snack on, a drink and make yourself cozy because here i go again.

btw read my last kali tries to explain my gear your gown here 😜

first of all a few trigger warnings: major charcater death (the accidents they had), minor character death, singing

...this time i spare myself the trouble going to IMBD to find the summary. And i go to the source with a slight editing from MDL

Sounds pretty darn cool and easy plot to follow right? right? It kinda is. Two dudes have an accident and find themself in a new body and have to work together to get back to their universe. While also keeping the bodies they switched save and not feck up their lives.

I think the most confusing part of this series, ist the bodyswaps and all the characters. Which is much in the first few episodes, and p' nut did an good job trying to via visuals cutbetweens the characters in the same scene.

Lets go over the mainroles and some of the many guestroles we were being feed in this series.

like this list also goes on and on

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Lets start with the two characters that we are going to follow through this series.

We first meet talay while he is on a job interview for BFB the firm he really wants to work as a colorist for. While he still is in this universe he meets puen twice one time when he waits with his friend gyo on the airport and the other time is when he helps out his other friend joe on a movie set (he plays a corpse).

After his accident while going swimming while drunk he travels universes and wakes up in a hospital in tess's body.

Now we have puen, we first meet him on said airport where is getting of the plane. We gonna see the most cutest but also awkwardest meet-cute to ever meet-cute in a airport bathroom. (Don't look at me like that YOU WILL SEE if you watch IT okay?) He is a famous series actor, that still helps out on smaller movies. thats where he meets talay for the second time and gives him some little acting tips.

After his accident while driving drunk (are we seeing a pattern here?) he wakes up in tun/parkorns body while parkon was on a trip with his two best buddies and scriptwriting team.

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Now let me show you the other two characters, puen and talay swap places with in the other universe

This is tess, we don't really get to know know tess maybe in the last episodes and from what talay hears from tess's friends and family.

The things we know is that he is a spoiled rich kid, that loves to go drink with his two best friends kita and fuse (also two spoiled rich kidz) and has a very colorful wardrobe.

This is parkorn, a screenwriter that works a million jobs to keep himself afloat. Because he and his two best friends aou and up are trying to write a script together, so they can show the the firm 26 pictures tess's dad owns, that they can write a good one. Had/has a crush on tess (don't look at me we all know love makes blind)

These two are his best buddies. Up is the one that is good with writing comedy and aou is the one that is good at writing everythingelse

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And let us not forget the guest stars in oder of appearance in the show (usually, between one or more per episode. But there are some without any)

and the ones that appeared in more then 3 episodes

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Oh we also have a color for each episode it was a wild ride everywekk which color would be the next one. There were so many post trying fo figure it out but now since it's ou and everyting we know them all.

and they delivered with the colors, and put talay in all of these, it was *chefskiss*

And don't let me forget about the fucktons of sponsors this show had. At the time this aired together with the eclipse and to keep the eclipse as free without silly add scenes as possible. Took vice versa the the most of them and BOY where they wonderful, cheesy, cringey but good.

It has a reason i am tagging vice versa post always with lays vice versa.

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...this time i'm really going to try to keep the plot short and easy to understand

the series starts with talay in a job interview with BFB where he talks about colors and what color he would associate with the interviewers (he associate one of them with brown like horse shit and well it works he gets the job but still hahah)

talay is kinda bumbed out because of that when he haning out with his friends. Gyo, one of his friends asked talay if he made the gift she needs the next day for her favorite series star.

the next day gyo and talay are at the airport and wait on a gate for said star to arrive. But they are at the wrong gate and have to hurry over to the right one.

We get the most cutest yet also very awkward meet-cute to ever meet-cute. The first meeting of puen and talay and the lama/alpaca bucket hat. (Pls everybody wash your hands after you go to the toilet don't be like talay it only works because puen was struck already)

after this gyo tells talay that joe his other friend needs and extra for his movie, and because he still is waiting for an answer from his job interview, he says yes.

at the movie set, he has to play a corpse "..just be a corpse and lie down" this is also the place where talay meets puen for the SECOND time.

while filming his scenes (and fucking up many times that puen had to give him some tips) with puen talay gets a call from the firm he had a job interview with. AND THEY HIRED HIM 🥳

Cut to talay sitting at a bar with his pc and working on projects he needs to finish before he goes to work, while also getting very drunk

his friends pull him away from his work and drag him to the beach and the sea.

talay swims out a bit to far out and he gets a cramp in his legs and has his accident (i just love how there the screen flips upside down and you are like OKAY its happening)

talay wakes up in a hospital bed and gets greeted by tess's parents the mom is worried and the dad is scolding talay about being very reckless.(oh yeah thats what tess also is very reckless and stupid)

Our dear beloved talay is very confused about all of this and tells these people that he has no idea who they are. Tess's father is not having any of this. The mom cuts in and makes talay fake cry so the father stop scolding him. (it works and is very hilarious)

after this he goes to the bathroom and sees that he no longer is in his body, and that the face that is looking back at him, is no longer his own but a guy named tess. (the cut between talays and tess is soo *chefskiss*)

the first thing he does after he realizes that, is that he tries to run away from the hospital, which he fails.

We meet kita and fuse for the first time, the bring "tess" some alcohol and tell him to drop the amnesia act. We get some info about the three of them, they are all no golden sons and that they "don't finish university soon" "because they would have to take over the family businesses, damn boring"

talay asked why there is no google and why he can't find the firm he is he as talay was hired for. Fuse tells him that there is only qooqle and that the only movie company that there is, is 26 pictures that tess's dad owns.

we meet a nurse that knows what happend to talay, because they whent through the same thing. This nurse was a male nurse in their universe and their name is dol. Dol promises talay to bring him to a place were he will get answers to all of his questions.

2 weeks later talay gets picked up by dol and they drive to the place dol was talking about. They encounter two men in a car that have a sign on their car that says "JUST MARRIED"(AkkTheo are married now) forcebooks guest-apperance.

They talk about what changed and what is still the same in their universe.

They enter a building where the association of thai citizens in the alternate world is located. You can only enter the association when you know the password. The password is some kind of line from a bl drama (the girlies love 2gether and are sarawat stans and most of them are from him)

We meet joob the head of the associaction, she will explain to talay how to get back to their universe

find the person that matches you (your portkey) >> do the thing you need to do here >> dream >> go to that place >> get back to you universe

talay tries to find his match/portkey with zero success (he tried once standing in some kind of cafe with a shirt that said IF YOU KNOW ME SAY HI)

talay decides to look for his match in tess's surroundings, he finds a yearbook with a few pictures in it. One picture catches his attention, it's tess with another boy named pakorn, he reads the name of the person and tries to call him on the spot (talay you can't just call people you might not be that close to anymore)

fuse and kita beg talay to go out drinking, the bring him back to the club where tess got beaten up. Talay gets more infomation on what happend to tess that night, that someone nice called an ambulance for him.

talay wants to know who it was and kita and fuse try to bribe the barworker to let them look over the security cameras.

It was pakorn that called the ambulance for tess, talay is getting surer that pakorn is going to be the person thats going to be his match.

talay meets up with a friend from tess's highschool that knows pakorn. This friend looks like talays friend joe from his universe but his name here is parmote.

parmote explains to talay why he calls pakorn tun and after talays asks him where he could find pakorn/tun and parmote gives him a stack of business cards. And that today he is playing at a friends bar

talay heads over to said bar and learns three things:

counting starts at the thumb with one, if you hold up your pointer finger it means two.

that pakorn can't sing.

and beer is more expensive as wine.

talay tries to talk to pakorn, but he keeps running away from him, sad and exhausted he goes back home, where tess's big brother is waiting for him. The brother begs him to just atleast show up for work at the filmmaking company. Talay jumps at this opportunity.

because he meets pakorn here again, who is trying to sell a script he is writing with his friends. They argue and pakorn leaves again

..off to episode 2 (yeah all this was episode one..but you need this i think)

talay is really bummed that pakorn is still avoiding him and tries to get help from the dol and joob. Dol tells him that it it's like when you are hitting on someone, that you need to keep pushing

thats what talays does, he shows up anywhere pakorn is and tries to talk to him. At one of these events he meets parmote again and he tells talay that tess once hit on and dated someone pakorn liked and that this maybe the reason is why he avoids him.

talay still tries to figure out if pakorn also is a universe travler but he is walking against a wall.

he follows pakorn to a bar were he meets up with up and aou and is about to tell them that he didn't sell their script. Talay jumps in and tells up and aou that pakorrn is wrong and that he did sell the script to the firm.

we learn how the three of them became a script writing team, all three went there separately and got told off from tess's dads firm because their scripts were lacking things. The meet there and decided to show them that they can write a good script together.

talay talks to dol that he is very sure parkorn is the one that matches him and also is a universe traveler. Dol reminds him that he has to test if parkorn is one of them and if not that talay has to move on.

but pakorn and his friends go on a month long trip to finish the script. The left their phones with the their barowner friend.

there are a few timeskips in here the story continues after this month, we see talay with tess's friends kita and fuse in a club, they tease him because he acts as if he got dumped.

talay meets the girl that he "stole from" pakorn, turns out he got dumped by her because she found out that pakorn liked tess and not her.

talay goes back to the bar and he tries to drink his sorrow away, the barowner tires to cheer him up that he could request a song. And he writes a whole ass letter on that little piece of paper on how he lost all hope of getting back.

as he gives the letter back to the owner, up and aou enter the bar with pakorn in in tow. But it is no longer the pakorn we meet because it's puen now.

puen plays a the song miracle, that talay and him only recognize because it's from their universe.

we learn that pakorn had a car crash and thats how puen entered the universe. (trust me when i saw this for the first time i was HUUh)

puen and talay get to talk and both are very relived when they find out that they are both universe travelers. Talay promises puen to tell him all about this univerese and how to get back later.

talay asked puen what hes done for a living in the other universe, puen tells him that he was an actor but that he is not telling him his real name and that he should call him tun. And when referring to the body he is they should say pakorn so they won't get confused. (again when you watch it the first time your head goes why what okay? ?)

puen asked talay, if he ever runs into problemswhere he should go and talay (yeah he drunk) tells him that he can come to him. (at this point puen is already GONE, SIGNED SET DELIVERED HE IS TALAYS)

the next morning talay wakes up and finds an half nacked puen in his bed (don't worry nothing happend yet the only thing that happend was a whittle kith) he is only half naked because the room is to hot

talay was so drunk the last night, that he even tried to kiss puen and hoped thats how they could go back to their universe (puen.exe reall stopped working there)

they eat breakfast and have a little conversation, where talay still tries to get puen to tell him his name. But he fails miserably

we get this legendary scene the "to be my wife, you mus endure"

and also we get the "You know what the first thing i going to say to you in our universe? Dang!"

they go to the association and fill out a little form to find they match faster. Talay is not happy about that because he thought what when i finds Tun he is done and done. Because he believes puen is his portkey.

They fill out the form and puen jokes around with his answers to cheer up talay a bit. After that they part ways for a bit to live their "new" lifes.

Talay gets a call from dol, telling him the matching is done and gives him a location where he should go. Puen also shows up ath the same location as he (trust me we all went omg yeeeeeeeeeees they haaaave to beeeeeeeee its faaaate seeeeeee)

We get the first romantic ad scene sponsored by the sugarfree icetea brand.

because both of them thought their are their matches they run away from the meeting point and their real matches can't find them (enter milk and loves guest apperance)

both puen and talay are not feeling it with their "matches" and ask dol for another test if they are the right one. They find a little maze. Dol tells they all have to go through the maze at the same time. And if you and your match find eachother at the same exit. They are your match/portkey.

milks and loves characters find eachother and the same exit. And so do Puen and Talay (the whole time when they are all in the maze you go like pls pls pls)

we find out that milks (som) and loves (pear) character clicked and are eachothers match.

the two boys agree go scouting for locations for the maincharacter to hang out. We get the famous talay draws puens face scene. (that up later uses as their logo for their team)

they meet up with aou and up to discuss the ending of the movie they are writing, they decide on an open ending. Puen has to write the synopsis and the tagline for the movie, but he has no clue how to do that. Talay offers him help but puen declines, he can figure it out

5 days later and they have to present the script to tess's dad, but puen is missing and he has all the files. The boys try to reach him but no one can. Right before the meeting is chancled someone calls up, it's the police station udn guess who is there? A very drunk puen.

aou, up and puen have an argument about the promise they made with eachother when 26 picture first dind't buy their scripts.

talay asked puen what wrong with him and puen just answers, "i'm living my life the best that i can, as you suggested!" So he did what he never could do when he was an actor. Talay interrupts puen to correct his scentens " that he should live the best life of the body owner. Not spoiling himself."

Puen tries to apologize to his friends but he gets no reaction from them. He finds some notes that tells him more about the promise they made.

after a talk with talay, puen tries one more time to apologize to aou and up via a window. AND IT WORKS (i am still asking WH IS GONNA CLEAN THAT UP Heeee?)

talay and puen go on another scouting "date", where they follow a couple on their date, where puen and talay are trying to figure out if these two are for real are on a date. (these two totally are on a date.. i mean both couples were) We also get a little KFC ad scene.

they finish off their presentation at tess's condo and we get a another ad scene this time it's our favorite queen niveau acne care and it's in a bathtub. We get the cute " ..this can be used to wipe away dust, i should use it on your heart" line

they boys get to the new meeting for the script at 26 pictures, and they sell the script to tess's dad.

the next time we see the boys all together again is when they meet up at a restaurant. And they try to figure out a name for their team. They all come to an agreement to call their team "FRIEND CREDIT" up even rented a "studio" for them (it's uptop of the very restaurant they were just eating at)

another timeskip it's 2 weeks later now, they boys are looking over the script and try to figure out something that the mainlead says to his love interest. Puen as the true sarawat stan he is quotes " you don't have to like me very much, just keep your heart open" line and everyone except talay are thrilled with this and they wanna use it in their film (well..puen is right, 2gether does not excist in this univerese..so there is no copyright stuff going on there)

we get a puen tries to make talay blush scene, but in the end talay makes puen blush

while driving talay home after a suprise test he had to take, the two of them find the perfect location for their film ending scene and also for their own love story.

they talk and joke for a bit, and then puen lets out the "..maybe the key to finding your portkey is love?" and "if you have to fall in love to get back" and "what if it's me" and "HOW ABOUT WE FALL IN LOVE WITH EACHOTHER???" (boy is already lost god save him)

Up and aou show up at the the location and up presents them their new folders with the drawing talay did of puen.

after that puen meets kita and fuse for the first time, fuse tries to bribe him for an acting job and kita and fuse try to make puen drunk, but talay is taking all of the drink for him and is in the end the one being drunk.

they end up at pakorns/puens flat, and its time for talay to tease puen for some mangas and a pair of pink shorts.

we get a cute little chocopie ad scene

puen has to be a photographer at a wedding of friends from pakorn. He invites talay along with him, when it's time to catch the flowers it's puen that catches them.

puen admits to the mc that he is infact hitting on someone, but that this person plays very hard to get while looking with the biggest hearteyes at talay.

puens hitting on talays era beings,but he always says after doing anything IT IS FOR THE SCRIPT which makes talay sad and confused. They have a huge argument and puen runs away and hides

talay after a talk with dol finds puen at ther special location we get another kiss

FRIEND CREDIT finally start filming their first movie

puen meets an actor friend from their universe named pang (played by namtam) at the association. For a few episodes talay thinks that pang is puens portkey.

They promise eachother if any of them find their portkey they would still go back together. (we get the cute puen runs away like a little girl scene)

at the set of their film puen and talay see snow in thailand for the first time.

The film the boys wrote premieres and everyone is full of hope and excitement, just to get just negative comments and critics. (gun appears as third here but he is the only nice one everyone is missing khai)

the group is devastated after this and they disband for a while.

puen has a very livid daydream of him and talay living together (because he can't keep the flat he eh pakorn lives in)

talay visits puen at pakorns parents home (we see puen with an shavingcream beard it's hilarious) to play him some music and to tell him that he misses him (we get the "do you have any idea how long 12,960 minutes i wated for you felt like?" these boys and their times i am still yelling)

aou and up also sho up at pakorns home and they decide to try it one more time as a screenwriting team. (because they disbanded up sold the old studio they had, but to our boys LUCK there is an old RV in pakrons parents garden, that they just fix up and use as a studio then. Very convenient)

talay starts to fall for puen

joob and dol ask talay and puen if they could film a guide video for the accsociation. After a cute kfc scene we get informed that joob passed away, because the other person in their universe died.

the boys meet at the new studio to discuss, what the new script should be about. Talay invited peng along to help them (And also because talay decided that puen should go back faster so he invited peng along so puen and her get to know eachother better and that puen can dream. Which is so hecking stupid but it's talay and he only wants puen to be happy and not to die)

they are going with a romantic NOT comedy (seriously i really would want to watch that movie okay?)

talay drops the "if we were eachothers portkeys we would be already back by now" (..yeah but you both haven't done the falling in love thing yet so you are very wrong boy)

talay is feeling really down when puen ditches him to do other things.

he visits puen again and we get the infamous carbo-narak scene ( i tell you tinn from msp watched this and made this his whole thing i bet he has a puen picture somewhere where he is like " we are really in it huh puen-poster?")

FRIEND CREDIT presents tess's father the new script and he is very happy. To celebrate this they boys go on a little trip

each of the writes down three wishes to hang it on the tree they want to achieve.

we get an amlost kiss between talay and puen, but it gets ruined by puen by asking if he can kiss him. (i am still to this day confused by this)

after a night of sulking talay visits puen again and tells him that he is going to withdraw from FRIEND CREDIT (this hecking felt like a brutal break up EVEN THO THEY WEREN YET TOGETHER)

talay gives tess's dad finished scrip of the movie, only to get told that there is not enough money to make the movie.

he find out that puen and peng are not eachothers portkeys

talay goes looking for puen and finds him infront of 26 studios yelling at the security guard. They hug and make up (the security guard behind the door must be like ohhhh 👀 🏳‍🌈!!)

they boys need to figure out on how to make money for their new movie, talay tries selling tess's clothes on an headbook live (because i doesn't want aou,up or puen to sell things) kita and fuse are worried about talay because of this live. They say the are going to invest in their movie, if they can act in it ofc.

fuse tries to bribe aou to rewrite the role fuse is playing, but aou is not having it. (fuseaou my beloved)

they find a new director, when they meet him it turns out it is an old highschool.."friend" named mek (played by perth) of tess and pakorn. But said director is not on good terms with tess

mek tries to ruin the movie the boys tries to film out of revenge (just because tess ditched one role in a movie)

talay confesses to puen that mek looks like someone he liked in highschool. But puen is like i don't fear that he will take you away from him (talay and mhok almost held hands okay?? haha but also there will be jealousy)

Mek is making talays job as a producer really hard, makes him get an specific cameraman, tells him that they should edit the script again etc BUT he makes it work somehow. What makes mork real happy

fuse tries to get talay fo force aou to rewrite his character dr wayu (HA enchante called the soccer boy now is a doctor), but talay explains to fuse why that is not happening, because aou but alot of work into it.

while figuring out which cat to cast for the main lady, the encounter a delivery guy that totally looks like tay tawan and cast him for a role their movie.

mek confesses to puen that he secretly liked tess in highschool, and that "these feelings are coming back" (sad jealousy era puen)

mek wants to scout an art gallery with tess alone for a certain scenes of the movie. Puen also shows up to this scouting and soon feels like the third wheel. he goes moping in a dark galleryroom but gets found by tess all is good we get their BIG DAMN KISS AND LOVE YOUS IN THE END (hey boyfiends now)

mek sees them kiss and confesses that he already knew that pakorn aka puen had feelings for tess, but that he is suprised that tess aka talay also feels the same

they go out with aou and up to watch a movie and after that we get the pillow scene

fuse asked aou if could take him to the vet clinic so he can study his role better. Richboy works for a day shannanigans happen (mix plays the vet in question)

they celebrate pakorns birthday

talay and puen talk about going back to their universe, but puen let it slip that he wants to stay in this universe as long as he can (sad backstory time...but we won't get it from puen but peng is gonna tell talay)

they get in a fight about it, them being angry at eachother is also making aou and up tense and makes them also fight. (but don't worry they all make up in the end)

time for puens sad backstory time

time for fuse and aou to have a fight and a hurt animal bring them back together to work together to save the dogs live. (and yes the removing of a shirt was necessary)

talay is searching for puen to apologize and make up with him, but he can't find him. Up tells him were to find him.

puen is hiding on a island surrounded by water, talay is having a slight panic attack while putting his feet in the water because of the accident that got him here. but puen finds him and helps him to said island and they make up there.

back at their studio they celebrate their first anniversary of FRIEND CREDIT they give eachothers gift. Talay gifts them all buckethats..and well puen now realizes who his talay is (but talay still is in the dark on who he is loving, great riiight?)

time for some adopting a pet together with fuse and aou (they call the dog lucky and it's soo cuteee) and we get this gem of a scene

their second movie premieres and this time the critics and the fans love the movie (puen and talay read them whil being snugled up in a bathtub like WHAT?)

talays world gets more and more pinker each day (as we know he HATES pink)

IT'S THE COLOR PINK THAT CONNECTS THEM THEY ARE EACHOTHERS PORTKEYS (sorry i am watching the scene right now and i just ahh the music the clips i am crying)

they say goodbye to dol in advance (is very emotional okay..bring tissues)

their new movie is gonna be shown not only at one film festival but two!

they go on a trip to the film festival, the night before they leave puen says goodbye to pakorns parents (next round of tissues)

after the festival is done, thegroup all read out all the wishes they had written down before puen ofc only lets talay read his

puen and talay say their goodbyes to their friends aou, up, fuse and kita

talay and puen sit together at an lake and talk, right before puen can tell talay his name, the later falls asleep.

talay DREAMS and is hyper to tell puen..but it's no longer puen its pakorn again

to conclude the last two episodes of vice versa in a short form:

puen wakes up in an ambulance and is hellbend to find talay, he finds him but it is still tess in his body.

talay finds out about puens name and is hellbend to get to the place he dreamed off but the tide his making him wait over a month to get to the place he dreamed off.

puen visits tess just so he can look at his talays face (ohm in glasses is always a treat)

talay finally makes it back and finds out how tess fecked up his life. He is no longer a colorist for BFB, he was puens assistant but tess fucked it up also (what do we learn tess sucks..as talay and 90% as himself too)

talay begs BFB to take him back as a colorist and finds out that his boss is also a universe traveler. (they take him back ofc but on probation) He also has apologizes to his friends for whatever tess did to them.

talay gets some tickets for a movie premiere where puen also is. But he leaves before he gets a chance to talk to him. While getting some tim hortons he catches some of the livestream from the premiere he was on and hears puen talk about him and that he hopes to find him again.

talay goes to their speical location the greenhouse cafe and we get the dang scene

you can guess what they did next okay (even tho puen tried to pull and ..ohh i am not puen move but yeah they banged can't insert any more pictures BUT IMAGINE THE FISH GIF RIGHT HERE)

they eat breakfast and talay tries to make the conebread out of normal bread (I WANT TO SEE THE REAL THING TOMORROW ON TALAY FIGURING OUT HOW TO MAKE THEM HIMSELF)

puen is so in love with talay that he for e day forgets that he is a celebrity and that there a paparazzis he gets in a little drama of "puen kissing his old assistant?? puen LIKE MEN???"

to save puens career talay denies that they are together, but puen ain't having it and with the help of a video of a drunk talay explaining why he did it. THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER AND HAPPY

we get some "what is maybe happening over in the other universe" montage.

and talay finds their up and aou in their universe and befriends them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think thats it thats the PLOT of vice versa..okay with a few little things missing so you HAVE to watch it.

I hope this masterpiece of a series makes now a little bit more sense to any of you. Or if you are now even more confused. (if so then i would recommend to have this open while watching it)

i love vice versa and i am still very glad it was my first real real BL i watched (i am not counting kinnporsche) and if i every get the chance to recommend a show it will be definitely be this show (@petrichoraline yes i will say this show and not futs as you would have thought! ha ❤😘)

still i have no idea on how to end these things..so ehh

taging people

@respectthepetty @isvisomewhere @benkaaoi

#kali tries to explain ✨#vice versa the series #lays vice versa #vice versa #vice versa spoilers #duh #our skyy 2 #our skyy 2 vice versa #i am sorry #this is 5k of nonsense #spelling errors are yours #i am to tired and stressed to look over it again..maybe one day when i have time again #hAhhahAHhahaha #WATCH THE IT

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 11

"The Naked and the Dead" AKA "Chenford is SOOOO married"

SPOILER WARNING: I will spoil the entire episode, likely the entire show, and I am addicted to details. Please proceed with caution.

Everybody primed and ready to go? Let's dive in!

"Hey, let me do it."

Timelines are tricky on this show, so I really don't think this was after the "second" date, but later. We saw in the cold open that Nolan and Celina were on a case during the day, so I think Tim and Lucy have been sneaking in dates and we're MAYBE a few days or a week past the end of the last episode.

So, that cute little glance Lucy gives Tim before uttering "let me do it" made me squee. Yes, I squee like a little girl kicking in a too-tall chair. Let me flail. I'm good at it!

Tim steps back and lets his wife girlfriend get to work on the coffee machine.

We know he's into black coffee (and clearly she knows his order after all the years on the job together), and I bet if he has a machine at home, it's either a grind-and-brew to give him whole bean goodness in a more instant form, or it's that "one cup" model I gave my husband to keep at work. Insert coffee. Insert water. Brew.

"So, what'd you guys get up to last night." "Nothing!"

Tim. Oh, Tim. Remember last week when I said you should stop lying? Yeah... maybe time to take my advice because your "nothing" is louder than a lot of "somethings".

To be fair, Nolan did say, "You Guys", which might trigger Tim's Fight-or-Flight response. Fleeing the scene might have appeared less suspicious.

Lucy slips in with her well-practiced UC skills on full display. See, she's had time to prepare, this time, and she's not going to get caught in the early stages of her secret romance.

She rattles off her love of the new Chagall exhibit while Tim suddenly gets lost in the aroma of his coffee so he can't open his big mouth, again. He seriously can't even look at either of them.

Tim finds a spec of dust on the floor to admire, sips his coffee, and hopes nobody notices.

Also, can we talk about Lucy handing Tim his coffee!? I know she could have done it at any other time in their relationship. I mean, she was his Boot and then his Gofer. She's handed him MANY a cup of coffee over the years.

But there is something so bloody domestic about Lucy Chen handing her boyfriend a cup of coffee.

"Nothing? You had all morning to come up with a cover story and that's what you went with?"

First off, I love the tone change from Lucy sending Nolan off to confronting Tim.

Second, I love how Tim immediately has to right the wrong of him being perpendicular to her and set himself directly in front of her, feet pointing towards what he desires. (Any New Girl fans out there?)

"Woah, woah. He bought it, didn't he?" "Uhhh."

I love this teasing. Both Eric Winter and Melissa O'Neil excel at something I adore in actors... the Art of the HUM. It can be "uh" or "hm" or "mm".

I don't care which of the "H" "U" "M" s you use and in what combination, a great actor can use them to add layers to a scene and make it feel completely natural rather than written-in.

Chenford fans are blessed with both actors masterfully pulling it off. Think Matthew Goode in A Discovery of Witches. If there's a King of the HUM, it's him.

But these two are pretty high up there in terms of mastery.

"What if he had asked you a follow-up question about the exhibit?"

There's that competitive spirit coming out with these two. Tim wants to prove that his excuse is more fool-proof than hers.

And, Tim, while you may be the Master of Tests, Lucy is the Master of Cover Stories. Remember Dim and Juicy's meet-cute Lucy created that made you think naughty thoughts you tried to cover up with veiled barely-there compliments? Lucy's gonna school you, former TO.

"Let him. I read the catalogue to the exhibit cover to cover."

First off, how the hell does Melissa O'Neil make that line sound hot? The world may never know.

Secondly... BOOM, Tim Bradford! You've been schooled by the master! Lucy is the queen of preparation. For goodness sake, she read psych journals trying to prepare to break up with her ex-"Work In Progress".

Lucy has a pattern, and it's a good one when your SO becomes your SO and you don't want anyone to know... o.

"Mmhmm"

See? Master of the HUM.

"I hear you have Citizens Academy today." "I do. Do you have any tips?"

She trusts him completely, and I love that he immediately rattles off information to help her. At this point, he knows exactly what she needs to hear, and what will be useful to her.

Also, Tim's disdain for screenwriters is strong. Or someone in the writer's room is really tired of unsolicited screenplays in their inbox.

"So... um, what are you doing tonight." "Nothing... I hope."

Ooooh, Velvet Voiced Tim is back! Eric Winter puts this velvety quality into Tim's voice when he's in boyfriend-mode, and it's so bloody delicious.

I did VO for over 20 years, so I get SUPER excited about these little shifts in performance. Immediately, we know what he means. Yowza.

"Nothing sounds perfect."

Okay, I have to be upfront and honest, here. My original prediction was that they would not have sex for the first time off-screen and that they would not have sex this episode.

But when this scene dropped as a promo (and I love that they did widescreen with wings when it was too awkward for the crop), I second-guessed myself. Did they... do it off-screen!?

No. Now, I firmly believe, no. But this scene had me going for a minute!

Narratively, it makes more sense to drag it out. Yes, I know that in real life some people sleep with one another the moment they meet. But I believe for these characters in this moment... it makes sense to take their time.

But when I first heard they were doing "nothing" and they'd also done "nothing" the night before with only the morning to make up a cover story... I questioned my choices hard.

And now my mind's in the gutter.

Okay, readjusting. Let's get back to Tim's beautiful smirk as he watches his woman depart. "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave", anyone? Our kitten is smitten.

Lucy On A Mission

Lucy works at the computer, lost in thought and using that big brain and compassionate heart of hers.

Aaron slides up, completely unaware of what's on her computer. He's ready to spill the tea, and the tea is standing right beside him.

"You'll never guess who's coaching Little League." "Nolan?" "No. Sergeant Friendly."

I love the glare Tim gives Aaron. Because it's his damn fault. But I also love Aaron poking fun at Tim. Their dynamic's been a lot of fun to watch this season.

"Whu- How did that happen? Can I watch?"

Ma'am. This is a PRECINCT. Please pick your panties up off the floor and resume normal operating function.

I mean, wow, Lucy! There was some heat in that question and Aaron is right there!

Lucy Materializes Out of Thin Air

I had to watch it twice to pinpoint where the hell she came from at the ball park. So, my initial surprise was akin to Tim's.

"Hey." Hi."

How. Is. This. HOT!? They're just saying "hi" and it's so charged with electricity the baseball field lights are about to turn themselves on. There is absolutely zero chill with these two since they started dating, let's be real.

"Um... who are you?" "What?" "I... the... a lot of heart? They're kind of a mess." "They're kids. It's supposed to be fun." "Yeah..."

I hear that edge in his voice on that line.

It's the same edge that gets into his voice anytime he discusses anything remotely connected to his father or childhood. So many of his choices are informed by the scars he still bears—physical and emotional.

Tim walks away, a little frustrated, because he can see Lucy doesn't get it. To be fair, he isn't explaining it. He's not communicating with her at all here.

But, also to be fair, he's never sought counseling or therapy for what he survived. There's a lot bottled up and it can be hard to pour it out in digestible bits if you've never learned how.

Genny fills in the gaps. That's all Lucy needs to process where Tim is and what he's going through.

I grew up with a lot of yelling, name-calling, and verbal and emotional abuse. Manipulation. Control.

One of my greatest joys is breaking those cycles with my own children—giving them a better childhood.

Tim watched the anger and the volatile nature of the last coaching situation here. He remembers his own father. He wants different for these kids, even if they aren't his own.

"He's trying not to be like him." "Yeah."

Lucy deflates a little, here. It was only silly puffery meant to tease, but now she gets it. Now she sees where this comes from, and she feels a little guilty. Of course, she didn't know, but now she does.

*Tim thumbs ups a kid dropping a ball* "Well, I mean, there is such a thing as over-correcting."

Here's where Lucy knowing Tim so well comes in. She doesn't try to talk to him about it. She doesn't try to tell him what to do.

Instead, she gets in there to help course-correct so Tim can keep being supportive, and she'll provide the structure so he doesn't have to have the anxiety of in any way resembling his father.

This is such a demonstration of love, to me. She knows he's not ready to deal with all of this. There will be a day—perhaps when his father dies—that he'll start to process through everything that happened. But, in the meantime, she'll help him through.

This is where Tim and Lucy live, now. It's a "we". It's an "us". It's something neither of them has ever had to this degree, before, even though Tim was married once-upon-a-time.

Lucy and Tim are a team, now, and this episode highlights why—they complement each other. They balance each other. They sharpen each other.

And in this way, Tim's very fortunate to be falling in love with someone with a pysch degree who can understand what's needed. She's the ideal partner to help with this because she knows him enough, now, not to push. But she also knows enough to provide a safe space for when he is ready to discuss.

"What are you doing?"

You never know what your girl is gonna do, do you, Tim?

To note, the last time he asked her this was when he was in the hospital recovering from spinal surgery. She was supporting him, then, too. She has a knack for it. (and I think the time before that was when he caught her putting boots in his locker... she also has a knack for pranks, of course)

"My name is Lucy. I am Coach Bradford's... friend."

Look. At. Tim's. FACE. Look at that bemused smile when she asserts she is his "friend". There was a time when he wouldn't even have accepted that moniker.

It wasn't until they were discussing her love life in the shop during the last 30 days of her training that she said, "we're friends" and instead of refuting it, he simply made a face.

And I love that she remains his friend even as they're transitioning into everything else. I often tell my children that my husband is my best friend—and I mean it. Nobody supports me like Matthew, lifts me up like Matthew, understands my trauma like Matthew, and makes me laugh like Matthew.

I love every layer of that man. And he loves every layer of me. And friendship goes a long way to getting to that point, I think.

Lucy rattles off instructions for how to throw a ball while Tim side-eye-fucks her and thinks of other things she can do with her hands as she's acting out the motions.

Come on, I'm not wrong here, people! Look at his face and tell me there aren't a few things happening in his mind that are not baseball-related but might involve running some bases.

Lucy disperses the kids, and Tim fires off a "You heard her" which is the Chenford Coaching Team equivalent of "Listen to your mother!"

He looks her up and down and smiles deliciously at Lucy, activating her praise kink in a delightful motion of her head.

Yes, Lucy Chen absolutely has a praise kink. And there's nothing wrong with that! But I love how Melissa O'Neil has been consistent with that little head swish Lucy does.

We've seen her do it throughout the years ("Maybe one day she'll be as good as you" comes to mind), and it never stopped. It only morphed.

Look at it at Lopez's wedding when he compliments her (in his way) and then asks her for a dance. Praise Kink Activated.

She does it at the end of 5x08 as we wait to fade to black, and there's a softer version of it when she's basking in Tim's adoration at the end of their first scene of 5x09 in the Watch Commander's office. Girl's got it bad for Tim Bradford.

He offers her the ball... but no he didn't. And I'm giggling like Lucy last episode because he's such a teenager around her, sometimes.

I've heard the expression all my life, "Love makes you young". I often think of Patrick Stewart wearing the Elf Song Hat while his wife recorded him (Google it... you'll die laughing).

With Tim, I feel like it resets him to before all the hurt and heartache in his love-life with Isabelle. He can be... free. Flirty. Fun.

But, seriously, Tim's the one who is going to get them found out for sure. Because, you know who had a front row seat to that eye-fuckery? Genny, that's who.

Y'ain't fooling anyone, Timothy.

"I think you two should co-coach. You were great together." "Oh, no, no. I'm ready to hand over the reins, entirely." "Not a chance."

I've thought about the layers in this little interaction quite a bit. Genny sees something here—whether it's the romance, the layered friendship, or the true partnership they've developed over the years.

But I feel like Tim's dealing with some self-doubt, here, and Lucy catches onto that.

I have a husband who deals with self-doubt. He's an incredible human, but I can tell when he's leaning into that and when I need to pull him back out and remind him how awesome he is.

I get that feeling here with Tim and Lucy. Maybe I'm projecting. But, I feel like he's saying, "She's better than me" and she's saying "No way, no how". Because he's not bad at this. Yes, he over-corrected a bit, but kids do need the support he offered. And Lucy brought the structure. They're better together.

I mean, just look at the way they're cleaning up together. Lucy's handing the bats to Tim and Tim's putting them away. They're doing it instinctively because helping one another and working together is completely natural, by now.

It's not something they have to discuss or consider—it's instinctual.

I've seen this in nature, before. A client of mine (yes, same client from last Meta) flew me out to Los Angeles a few times for work. I stayed with him and his wife, and I got to watch them work in the kitchen together.

After decades and decades of it being the two of them together, with no kids or anyone else in the way... it was like watching a dance.

That's Tim and Lucy. They move together rhythmically and naturally. May it be so in all aspects of their life—but I'm skipping to another episode that hasn't aired, yet, now!

"No, but seriously! I saw today why you work so well together."

And, Tim, poor, sweet Tim, opens his mouth. Tim can't get words out, and one look from his wife, and he knows to shut that mouth.

"We spend so much time together on, out on the job. It's so great that Tyler has been making friends so quickly after moving here."

Anyone else thinking Lucy's UC school was solely so she could cover up for her and her not-so-secretive secret boyfriend? Because, hello, it keeps coming in handy!

This is classic redirection. I use it with my children all the time. Just this morning my 5-year-old daughter was having an unusually hard time saying goodbye to go to school. Usually, she walks in without a glance back. Today, it was CLING city.

So, I went through the room until we finally finally found something to get her mind off of me so I could slip away.

Lucy's doing the same thing. She's pointing at something else in Genny's life to let that thought of "Tim and Lucy" slip away. It gives Genny something more personal to her to focus on, and shifts the conversation gently.

"We'll make sure he gets the best seat in the house."

Just thirty seconds ago, Tim was trying to get out of co-coaching, and they were both deflecting why they're great together, but now we're back to "we". Heck, we never left "we" for Tim and Lucy. They're a unit, now.

"What's wrong?" "There's something going on with my Domestic." "You want me to come? "No, it's okay. I got it."

Oh, how far we've come. In the past, if Tim said, "What's wrong?" to Lucy, it was surprising that he was taking interest. But, this is his girlfriend, and he knows her well. He looks to her phone for a clue as she approaches.

Then, he offers his help. This isn't TO Tim who wants to make sure his Boot doesn't mess things up. This isn't Sergeant Tim who is going to be backup for Officer Chen. This is Boyfriend Tim willing to be there for his woman, but asking what she wants because he knows she's more than capable of handling herself.

That's what hits me the hardest about this—he knows she's got it, but he's there if she wants him.

And I think that's why her "No" and the head-tilt comes off as intimately as it does... Lucy knows what Tim's offering and why. It's love he's demonstrating and she's sending a "message received" with that look.

And Tim's little "okay" downturn of his lip at the end of the clip even shows how he's not worried a bit. But he was going to offer. And I bloody love that.

Tim and Lucy and Wesley

I love this scene. It's so small and seemingly insignificant plot-wise, but it's the heart of the story, here. Okay, I'm tearing up a little.

PAUSE: TW Abuse CW Abuse

I don't want to give details, but I have people in my life who have been where these women are in the story. So, to me, I don't see the characters. I see my cousin. I see my friend. I see the girl when I was in college who was murdered by her boyfriend in the dorm.

In the case of the plot, this scene isn't necessary. But in terms of the context, it adds so bloody much. It's the message. It's the truth of what happens all too often. Gabby Petito is a recent case that made national headlines, but this happens all over, every day.

And what can we do? What options are there? How can we help? There is some heavy stuff in this episode. But, it's important for us to listen and learn.

END TW Abuse CW Abuse

I love that Tim has Lucy's back, here. She could have done this alone, but I bet she asked him along for his experience and for the weight of his strips in the discussion.

And I ADORE Shawn Ashmore (the sharp-eyed twin, as I've always thought of him), and there's something so irreverent about him sitting in that suit atop the desk that made me giggle a little the first time I saw it.

"Him and Bailey are just way too nice to be landlords." "Totally." *aggressive head-nodding Tim*

And like the Fool who took the stage immediately after the gruesome murder in the Royal Shakespeare Production of MacBeth (the Scottish play for my theatre siblings), there's the levity we need to help transition to what's next.

It's the rhythm of the scene and script where somehow this writer's room is tasked with heartache and hilarity in the same space. It takes skill to do well, and this scene does it well.

"Okay, hold on, you are a complete badass out on the streets-" *Tim question's wife's opinion aggressively* "Off hours, you're a little...." "Easy target."

Nolan's indignation combined with Celina's face make that moment. But it's all the rhythm of Tim and Lucy that gets us there. Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

Lucy wants to try to find the compassionate angle, and Tim's going to tell it like it is.

Chenford Coach a Game

Tim and Lucy have me smiling ear-to-ear for so many reasons in this scene. Look at how sweet he is with the kids, making sure they have a good experience. Look how competitive she is. Miss "I like trophies" is coming out, and it's amazing.

"God, every time!" "Be encouraging." "Good. Good job. Good try." "We're gonna work on that."

Married. So married. Beyond married. This whole interaction is gold. And the matching hats and shirts!? Normally, I wouldn't think Prison Orange would be a good look on a cop, but these two pull it off!

Tim is coaching Lucy as much as he's coaching the kids. I see a little "teacher Tim" in that "Be encouraging", though far gentler than TO Tim. And his face right before he tells her, "We're gonna work on that" has me rolling. That little down-turned mouth cracks me up.

We're getting a sneak peek into their future with this one. And, as usual, Tim and Lucy are balancing one another out.

That's one of the things I really love about them. They're not the same person, like Lucy says his ex was. They're very different people who are on a parallel path and are willing to put in the work to make this work because they're worth it.

"I'm excited." "I know."

AHHHHHHH. I know it's a TINY, tiny thing, but the way that he so effortlessly leans into her, the way he cocks his head as he says, "I know." It's so married.

And I have to call out the camera work, here, and the directing. If we're paying attention, we see Nyla and Angela showing up as Blake goes to bat. From the other angle you might note Blake's father shooting to his feet as Blake's bat connects with the ball.

The director is allowing us to discover the story-line without dumping us in at that shot of Nyla and Angela surrounding Blake's father. And I bloody love it.

James Patterson (pre-ghost writers) took the same approach with his mystery books. If you were really paying attention, you always had the opportunity to discover the answer along with the detective. That was something the ghost writers just always missed.

It's fun to have the chance to be detectives yourself—and this director allowed us that chance.

And, I just looked it up. Robert Bella, again! That explains the composition of Tim and Lucy with the fence during the night scene at the ball-field—having Eric Winter take the two steps up so he'd be framed behind the fence instead of in the gap as Melissa O'Neil steps away for Lucy's call.

Anyway.... back to Blake's Criminal Dad...

I had hoped this was the way the story-line would go (with Blake's father being arrested at the end of the game), but I didn't call Nyla and Angela being involved.

So, that gives two more people front row seats to "Why the Hell are Tim and Lucy Coaching Together if They're Just Friends And Holy Crap Were They About to Kiss on the Sidelines?"

Also love the Genny is up there, and that she's positioned behind Blake's father. I don't know if she did it on purpose to help make him easier to find for Nyla and Angela, but that's my head-canon.

And LOOK at Tim and Lucy cheer Blake on! Married. So married.

Plus, that hi-five. I know we're all talking about what Tim has in his hand. Is it cash? We've seen him bet on things before (including that his Rookie would smoke everyone at firearm re-certification), but did Tim and Lucy bet on the game?

She definitely grabs on after the high five, and we see his fingers wiggling. Is he trying to get out of giving her the money? We might need Eric Winter and Melissa O'Neil to chime in on this one...

I have to say, I am loving domestic Chenford, and watching them find new layers to their relationship. I know a lot of people want snogging every week, but I am a huge fan of dolling it out in smaller dollops, much as the romantic aspects of this relationship have been leading up to "Do you want to go on a date?".

Yes, in real life, some people sleep together the moment they meet. Then, you have me and Matthew, who waited four years and until we were married. Lucy and Tim are somewhere between that, and I think they're doing what's right for these characters in this moment.

And I have to separate Chenford back into Tim and Lucy, for a moment, to acknowledge what might not be seen as "Chenford" to most, but totally is to me... Tim and Lucy had separate story-lines this episode.

Yes, Lucy came together on the baseball story-line. Yes, they converged at parts on the Domestic story-line. But, we got to also see them handle themselves without the other as backup. And I think that's so important for us to see as an audience—Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy. They don't have to be together every second.

Tim was highly organized and communicative as a Sergeant in the shoot-out. We got to see his military-level calm and control on display.

For Lucy, we got to see her compassion, bad-assery, and conflict de-escalation without anyone having to back her up. She's a confident and competent cop.

Together, we love them. But I'm someone who also lovesTim and Lucy as Tim and Lucy—separate from Chenford.

I think it's important for the show to remind us who they are on their own so that we can appreciate them both, and not let "Chenford" become the only story-line for either. Both characters are rich and complex, and deserve the opportunity to shine separate from one another, not only when they share a scene.

PAUSE: CW Abuse TW Abuse

This story-line really broke my heart because I know those women. I've been the one in Lucy's position trying to help before one was nearly strangled to death by her husband. And she stayed... it was rough.

If you are in an unsafe situation, please reach out and get help. Here is the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

I like to keep these Metas light and frothy, but I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge this plot line that isn't a story for two many people in this country and in this world.

Yes, we watch television often for entertainment, but there can be some truth in the messages we receive.

END CW Abuse TW Abuse

As always, thank you for reading and joining me on this ride. I can't wait to see what's next for Tim, Lucy, and Chenford.st

#CW Abuse #tw abuse #Chenford #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #Eric Winter #Melissa O'Neil #The Rookie #Lucy x Tim #Tim x Lucy #Meta #The Rookie Meta

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batwingz2 · 10 months

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female lizardfolk/reader

You've been a professional wildlife educator for 4 years and after garnering quite a bit of attention national geographic offers to give you your own show. You've just finished recording the 5th episode at the Everglades Swamp in Florida when a snake startled a cameraman in your boat, causing it to tip over. You're knocked into the water, frantically trying to climb back onto the boat before something grabs your ankle and begins to drag you away.

Triggering warning for drowning

This story contains foreplay, nipple play, choking, rough oral sex, dubious consent, begging and sex toys.

You've been a professional wildlife educator for about 4 years now, educating the general public on animals from all walks of life. You had started off small, working at various museums to hold short shows for children, enthusiastically sharing your love and vast knowledge of wildlife. From there, you decided to begin to make YouTube videos with the help of two of your friends while you were out on vacation in Costa Rica, seeing it as an opportunity to share the unique wildlife in the region.

You had visited a wildlife preserve, sitting with an employee as you talked about the exotic animals, even getting to hold and pet a few. It was an incredible experience and the video did unexpectedly well, gaining thousands of views in just a week. This encouraged you to continue visiting different regions over the next 2 years for your videos, all leading up to the present day where you were popular enough to count as a micro-celebrity of sorts.

When your team came to you with the offer from national geographic themselves you were beyond thrilled and accepted without much of a second thought. You had a whole camera and safety crew in case something went wrong, you would end up handling various dangerous species afterall. By now you had filmed 4 episodes out of a 12 episode season and for episode 5 you headed to Florida to visit the Everglades, one of the largest swamps in the United states.

You dealt with alligators, snapping turtles, snakes, etc and, as dangerous as it was at times, it was one of the most thrilling of your life. You sat and your crew sat in decently sized airboats, floating along the swamp above the deeper parts of the swamp where the water got about 9 feet deep. Having just finished the episode, you guys were heading back to the spot on land where you got off into the water so you could head back to your hotel. It was peaceful and you had a small smile on your face as you watched an harmless water snake slither across the water, dragon flies fly above the water, and cattails gently swaying in the wind.

A fog began to fall over the swamp and you began to close your eyes, that was until a scream from a camera man behind you quickly snapped you away, "there's a fucking snake!" He shouts as his feet shuffle on the ground and he pushes himself as far back into the boat as he can. You laugh as you look down and see a green anaconda, a non-venomous snake. "These guys won't hurt you, don't worry." You tried to reassure him but he only freaked out more as the snake began to slither toward him.

You prepared to catch the snake, hoping to grab it quickly and safely without being bitten. You slowly lifted your arms, waiting for the right moment to strike, "stay still.. Don't you worry.." you said quietly, unsure if it was directed toward the man or the snake. You quickly reached down and successfully grabbed the snake right behind it's head where it wouldn't be able to bite you. The snake wriggled about and slapped the cameraman, making him scream again. Before you could celebrate your victory the man's frantic moving about flipped the boat over.

You fall into the dirty swamp water, the boat tipped on top of you and the same cameraman frantically flailed about. You attempted to grab onto the boat but the cameraman accidentally kicks you in the chest hard, knocking the breathe out of you. You let out a gasp as bubbles pour out of your mouth, placing a hand on your chest where he kicked you. You try to breathe in but musty water fills your lungs, it feels as though someone is tearing apart your lungs and you begin to panic, kicking your legs and trying to grab onto the boat above.

As though things can't get any worse, you feel something has somehow caught your leg, you begin to try to kick it off, realizing it must be an animal of some kind since your feet didn't touch the bottom. It feels like an hand is grabbing you, claws digging into your skin as you try to scream. It begins to drag you away while you helplessly try to kick and swim away from it's strong grasp. It lets you go, but only for a brief moment with no time to react, before you feel an arm wrap around your side and quickly pull you along. You reach down to try to pry the arm off you but your efforts are futile.

You want to open your eyes but you don't, fearful of the bacteria in the water, which you've definitely already swallowed. You try your best to continue to fight back but all your efforts prove unsuccessful. Your lungs continue to sting like they're filled with molten lava and you can feel yourself growing weaker by the second. Your skin begins to turn blue and you start to realize you're going to die like this. You feel your vision begin to fade to white and it's as though the world around you is fading. Your fear slowly turns in acceptance, you're going to drown and be eaten by whatever or whoever was pulling you along.You come to terms with your fate before the world around you fades away into white and all feeling is gone.

Suddenly, you feel something press onto you and a sharp pain in your chest. Your laying on your back and something seems to be on top of you but you're thrown into a coughing fit before you can process anything. You quickly roll over and vomit onto the damp dirt beneath you. The familiar musty taste of the water is once again in your mouth and it seems endless as you continue to cough and gag.

Once the vomiting finally calms down you attempt to catch your breath, your body shaking and chest still burning. You slowly become aware of your surroundings and see reptilian hands with sharp claws to the ground beside you as something large continues to loom over you. You freeze in place, the hot breath of whatever it is brushing against your ear and sending chills down your spine. You slowly turn your head and are greeted by large, yellow reptilian eyes.

You attempt to scream but instead let out a painful wheeze, once again being thrown into a coughing fit. "Do not strain yourself." A raspy voice says, a clawed hand now placed on your back. You weakly flip yourself over again and grab their wrist to stop them from touching you, you want to speak but are put into shock at the sight before you. A strange alligator-like woman stares down at you, her gaze is intense and it seems as though she is inspecting you. "You are in bad condition, let me help you."

Her gaze is unwavering and it makes you nervous. She frees her wrist from your grasp and begins to lift you off the ground, "I will take you somewhere safer." You try to push her away but you can't do much, "you're the one who drowned me, aren't you?" You say, your voice raspy and weak. She thinks for a moment before responding, "I suppose so." Your brows knit with frustration, "you suppose so? What the fuck does that mean?" She laughs unexpectedly, opening her large jaws and showing off sharp teeth as she looks down at you, "you quite a bit of spunk for someone who nearly died."

You glare at her, "let me go." She shakes her head, "can't do that." She kicks open a door that was hidden under leaves from tree branches that hung low to the ground. You look around and find your inside a small living room, everything appears to be made by hand from wood. You're set down on the couch and immediately take it as an opportunity to try to get away but she places her large hand on your chest, you can barely get your back off the couch. "Stay put." She growls, "what are you going to do with me?"

She narrows her eyes at you, "I'm trying to help you like I said, I can take care of you." You narrow your eyes as well, unconvinced. She begins to get up, heading in the direction of the kitchen. You can't see what she's doing but she quickly returns with a wooden bowl. "Eat." You hesitantly take the bowl and glare at her, "why did you ever grab me in the first place?" She lets out a low rumble from her chest and sighs, "eat now, ask questions later."

You let out a small huff and look down at the bowl, it was warm and looked like soup with meat in it, the delicious smell making you realize you were hungrier than you thought. You hesitantly took a sip, it was salty, savory and it instantly made a warmth come over you. You drank it down very quickly and she watched you quietly. "I'm glad you seemed to enjoy it, it's snapping turtle meat." Your eyes widened, unsure how to feel, "you're just now telling me this?"

She shrugs, "I didn't know if you'd eat it otherwise." You frowned and she took the bowl from you, setting it aside, "I was originally going to eat you." She says nonchalantly, sitting on the floor in front of the couch, criss cross apple sauce. You give her a weird look, "were?" She nodded, "yes, but I am no longer interested." You stare at her, waiting for her to continue before it becomes clear she won't go on if you don't push her to, "why not?" She simply sat and stared at you for a moment before looking away.

You frowned and cleared your throat, she was not easy to talk to. "Well, alright. Does that mean I can go?" She snapped her head back toward you, "no." You tilted your head, "no?" She shook her head and you two once again fell into an awkward silence, "can you tell me why..?" She narrows her eyes at you, "you cannot return, you are in bad condition." You cross your arms, "we have doctors." She lets out a growl, "I'm better." You raise an eyebrow, "better?" She nods, "doctors do not know the swamp or it's waters like me."

"How so?" You ask suspiciously, "the soup helped prevent the sickness you'd get from swallowing the swamp water." You switch positions so your facing her, "how?" She stands up, "secret." You scoff, "secret?" She simply nods and leaves the room. You sit there, somewhat baffled for a moment, she clearly doesn't interact with people much. She returns moments later holding what looks a wooden bowl with a lid on top, "take off your shirt." You stare at her for a moment, questioning if your ears deceived you, "what?" She sets the bowl down, taking off the lid to reveal a weird greenish substance.

"I need to put this on your chest, it'll help with the pain from cpr. No bones broken, just pain from the pressure." You stare at her for a moment before sighing, "fine." She nods and presses her hand to your chest softly, encouraging you to lay back. Her hands are cold and scaly, "stay laying." She reaches into the bowl, scooping out a decent amount of the slimy substance, "it'll be cold." She says, slowly smearing the odd substance onto your chest.

A shiver runs down your spine at the coldness and sensation. She is gentle as she begins to rub it in and, much to your dismay, it arouses you somewhat. You silently curse yourself in your head and, to the best of your ability, try to appear unfazed. She appears unbothered as she massages your chest and below your ribcage. You swallow thickly, "are you almost done?" She looks up at you, "is something wrong?" She gently drags her nails down your chest and it makes your breath catch.

She tilts her head at you and you try your best to force a smile as your face heats up, "no I just- ah!" You let out a small yelp as she takes a nipple between her fingers, gently squeezing, "you just what?" Her eyes narrow and you curse under your breath, "are you doing this on purpose?" She tilts her head, but a faint glimmer in her eyes gives her away , "doing what?" She begins to run her thumb slowly in circles around your nipple now and you bite your lip.

She leans in closer to your face, grinning now. It's as though a switch flipped within her, "I may not plan on eating you, but I have different ways in which I will devour you." She speaks in a lower tone, laced with hunger that's also prevalent in the way she now stares at you like your meer prey to her. She presses her lips to yours before you can muster a response, it startles you. The kiss is immediately needy and she wastes no time in climbing on top of you.

She growls, pinning your wrists above your head and slipping her tongue inside your mouth. This once again surprises you, it's thick and you barely fit it in your mouth as she shoves it down as far as it can go. You want to moan but the tongue allows no sound to come out. She lets out a groan, pulling her tongue away, a trail of spit connecting you both. She pants heavily, "I'm going to completely consume you, you're mine now." She holds your wrist with just one hand now, using the other to hold your face.

"You're far too pretty to go to waste." She begins to kiss and lick your neck, opening her jaws wide enough your entire neck is in her mouth. You freeze, subconsciously holding your breath, fearful but excited as she continues to run her tongue around and along the entirety of your neck. She eventually pulls away. "Do. Not. Move." She hisses before getting up and heading to another room. You pant heavily, trying to get a hold on yourself but you have little to no time as she quickly comes back, rope in hand.

She tightly ties your hands above your head, "you have no choice but to stay put for me now, pet." She nearly spits the last part as she begins to remove her shirt, sitting on your legs so you can't move. "Were you planning this all along?" You ask shakily, taking in the beautiful curves of her breasts and the way her scales turned a light green as they went from the middle of her chest down to her belly. "Yes, now shut up and don't speak unless spoken to."

You're somewhat taken aback by her tone but it's quickly replaced by excitement, "yes ma'am." She narrows her eyes hungrily at your response and tears your pants open near your crotch using her teeth. You gasp and she licks a stripe along your underwear where your genitalia is. You let out a shaky breath and she groans as she tears away the underwear as well. She grabs onto your thighs, forcing your legs open as she dug her claws into you. She didn't dig deep enough to make you bleed but it still hurt quite a bit, you let out a small whimper.

You quickly forget about the slight pain as she begins to lap at your nether regions as though her life depends on it. She perfectly runs her tongue along every nerve, making your legs shake and your brain go foggy. You let out small moans and this only motivated her further, "don't hold back." She says as she shoves your leg backwards, perfectly angling her mouth to completely devour you, careful with her teeth. You let out a loud moan in response and she growls with satisfaction.

You can feel yourself quickly unwinding as she ruthlessly devours you and your toes curl, but just as you think you'll finish she pulls away, licking her lips. "You do not get to cum." She stated firmly, getting off the couch as you whined and panted. She grabbed you by the back of your hair, forcing you to look up at her with a tug. You most likely looked like a mess, eyelids heavy and desperate for release. She simply laughed, "you are mine to use, but maybe if you're good..."

She trails off, eyes glued to your lips. She quickly slid off all her remaining clothes and placed a leg above you on the couch, giving you a perfect view of just how wet she was. She once again grabs the hair on the back of your head and lowers herself a little. You get the hint and began to lick her clit, making her let out a quiet groan. You then began to run your tongue in circles and suck a little, making her gasp. Your hands are still tied, now behind your back, but you oh so desperately wanted to grab her thighs and push her further into you.

You let out a small moan as you began to speed up, occasionally putting your tongue inside her for a while. She let out loud moans, bringing a hand to one of her breasts as she played with her breast. She pushed your head further into her, grinding on your face as she was increasingly driven insane. "Fuckk." She growled, the ending becoming a breathless moan. You devoured her as she did you; ruthlessly, as though you were famished and maybe you had been.

Her grinding became more uneven and her moans louder, her words even beginning to slur together as she became drunk on your tongue. "I'm going to cu-ah! L-lick it up." She tried to sound stern but instead stuttered and whined, making you giggle a little. She growled, "oh I'll do the exact same to you, don't get cocky you little-ahhhh!" She let out a loud moan as she came onto your tongue and, just as she asked, you lapped up every last drop.

She panted heavily and so did you, her hand still in your hair. She took her foot off the couch, her legs a little wobbly, "I think you can cum too now." She smiled as she held your head up to her, mouth covered in her juices. She kissed you rough, tasting herself on your tongue, before tossing your head back and once again walking to another room. She walked out now wielding a large green dildo, it appeared about 7 inches in length or more and seemingly mimicked what you'd expect an reptilian penis to look like. Scales and even a few small horns sticking up in a few places.

"If I had expected a guest I would've got a strap-on but I think this will work, for now.." She grinned devilishly and once again spread your legs open, "stay." She said, running the dildo along your hole, watching you react. You let out a small whimper, desperate for some kind of release. She smiled and reached the dildo down to her vagina, covering it in her juices as an lubricant. She slowly put it inside you and you let out a small moan as it stretched you out with a slight pain.

She smiled and took it out, quickly thrusting it into you as your pleading whimper turned into a loud moan. She then began to fuck you with the dildo at an even pace, not too quick but not too slow. You moaned and bucked your hips as it brushed against all the right places with every thrust, sending electricity down your spine. She watched every expression you made, enjoying every second, "do you want me to go faster?" She asked mockingly, as though speaking to a baby or a dog.

"Y-yes m-am." You stuttered, letting out a small whimper. "You have to beg for it." She said sternly, her expression turning somewhat serious as she stared down at you like you were gum on the bottom of her shoe. She reached her freehand down and placed it at your throat, "Please, please go faster. Fuck me, fuck me hard, make me yours and make me- cuahh!!!" She giggled as your begging turned into a loud yell as she began to fuck you with the dildo as hard as she could.

"Good." She growled and you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head as she squeezed your throat, nails lightly digging in. You loved it, you loved being all hers, you loved how rough she was, she was completely breaking your mind like no one else has or could. Every horn, every scale. Every. Single. Inch, you could feel it and it only made it that much more pleasurable. You felt yourself growing close like before, toes curling and mind going blank as you began to see stars.

She removes her hand from your throat and you let out a loud moan, your whole body shaking as it felt like an entire wave crashed over you. You pant heavily, stars still in your vision as she pulls the dildo from you and admires you. She smiles and leans over, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, "I knew you were special." She says as she looks into your eyes, you see a softness in her yellow eyes you didn't see before and it helps ease your pounding heart somewhat.

"I will continue to take care of you, I can get a bath running." You nod, hardly able to speak as your enamored by her yellow topaz eyes. "Thank you." You say and she affectionately rubs her head against your chin as though she's a cat. She gets up to go prepare your bath but you stop her, "wait." She stops and turns to you, "what's your name?" She smiles, seeming somewhat amused by the question, "Vella."

I am taking requests!

I will not write about: R*pe/noncon Incest Zoophilia/beastiality Pedophilia Certain fetishes

I do not have to write anything for you if I don't want to. Please be nice/patient, thank you! I hope you enjoyed my writing <3

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#monster x reader #monster fucker #smut #x reader #teratophillia #gender neutral y/n #lizardfolk #i love women

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