#one of the others was just super passive aggressive about everything i did; from ‘taking too long in the shower’ (ten minutes at most)

[fingertipsmp3]

Going to play the sims high, will report back

[drluvsick]

Hashiras x super cheerful excited golden retriever girlfriend PLSPSLSPSLPSLPSLS🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Reader is sunny , always smiling , laughing , extroverted , very strangely optimistic ^_^

𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐬

hashiras with a sunny, optimistic s/o. 📝 ik the ask called for fem! reader but this can be read gn! as well. GOOSH I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO DO… ALSO i knew that if i just did this regularly for everyone it’d start becoming repetitive in each one, so i put them into categories first and then wrote down what might be different with each hashira— hence why some entries are pretty short. SORRY AGAIN!!

word count : 1.3k+

𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . . 𝘚𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘉𝘌𝘚𝘛 — 𝘚𝘜𝘙𝘍𝘈𝘊𝘌𝘚

MATCHES your energy perfectly. absolutely loves the positive vibes, it makes their entire day and they live for it.

— rengoku, mitsuri, tengen (mostly)

FINDS it refreshing. the corps needs more people like you to make the negative energies of demon slaying wash away. may not completely match your energy, but it makes them happy no doubt to see you spreading that positivity (it’ll rub off on them soon enough if it hasn’t already).

— shinobu, obanai, gyomei

FOUND you annoying at first. absolutely thought you were stupid. though, in the end, they fell anyways without meaning to— soon finding your positivity and shining personality charming.

— sanemi

TREATS you like an any other day person they’d react with on a daily basis until you start spending more and more time with them, congrats! you’ve invaded their hearts.

— giyu, muichiro

𝐆𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐈 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀

— you distract him from everything. you’re always so bright and happy that whenever he’s around you he can’t help but smile and forget all his worries and stresses.

— he likes that this is your true personality, not just some act.

— definitely falls further in love when you defend him from other slayers who question his capabilities as hashira due to his lack of sight.

— AND HE WILL DEFEND YOU whenever he senses that you’re sad because of another person. he cannot stand to hear you feel upset. it’s one of the rare times he’s passively aggressive towards someone, he simply just cares for you so much.

𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐍 𝐔𝐙𝐔𝐈

— finds you interesting. and when he spots an interesting person, you best believe he’s going to investigate.

— loves talking to you about nothing in particular, whether you’re leading or he’s leading the conversation it’s bound to be a unique and enlightening chat.

— ABSOLUTELY bedazzles you with some of his flashy items so that you’re positively shining in and out.

— sometimes when he’s just down in the dumps he may find your positivity annoying and will voice it, but he always backtracks when he sees your smile go a fraction lower.

𝐆𝐈𝐘𝐔 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐎𝐊𝐀

— this is a trope. it’s called extrovert x introvert. it’s also another trope called yapper x listener.

— you will spout out a whole paragraph or two about something and he’ll just give you a few nods to show he’s paying attention, maybe voicing his opinions once in a while with just a few words. but he’s definitely listening, after all, he loves hearing you speak.

— you go from just another person in his life to something way different, someone who recognizes him for something and doesn’t shun him like the others.

— he thinks that maybe—with you being a “look on the bright side,” kind of person—you’ll be able to see him from an angle that practically no one takes the time to see for themselves.

— he lets you hug him whenever you’re happy, but at the same time he hopes that you don’t hear his heart going a mile a second.

𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐈 𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

— it’s funny, really; how fast his memories from way back when go to rest whenever you’re nearby, how immediate the thoughts of his scars disappear as you come into view.

— he admires your consistency to stay positive among the lifelong struggles in this job as a demon slayer.

— showed his scars to you early on after you convinced him that looks alone wouldn’t change your opinions on him. he’s so glad he did, because after some much needed pep talking he’s absolutely ecstatic. he can breathe easier around you now, taking off the bandages whenever he likes because you’re just that much of a comfort to him.

— possessive & protective, if someone’s making you sad they are DEAD MEAT. HIDE

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀

— fell so hard. and he didn’t even notice it! that smooth road from hating you to loving you never crossed any speed bumps that let him figure it out, it just hit him one day.

— “you can’t find positivity in everything. you’re bound to wake up to reality somewhere along this line of work.” sanemi said this to help himself so that he’d never be so hurt by your eventual sad expressions from who knows what. the only thing it succeeded in doing was convince you to prove him wrong.

— has the prettiest color on his face when he blushes at you complimenting or being enthusiastic at spending time with him, even if you’re enthusiastic at spending time with every hashira.

— it’s funny cuz he’ll just go from being so aggressive and mean towards you to just one day out of the blue being unusually gentle and kind. you bet he’ll be the first one to beat up whoever makes you cry or help you with your problems, because even if this man doesn’t see it, he is absolutely WHIPPED.

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐊𝐔 𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐎

— he just wants to hug you every time you’re around (and he does, with your consent of course)!

— two golden retrievers running around with no leashes and no restraints. everyone should be terrified

— he’s happy that there’s someone in the corps he can really talk to for days on end about anything if he’s ever looking for positive outlooks. someone who sees his point of views and matches his overly optimistic nature.

— gets a lil jealous when you’re like this around tengen but we shall not elaborate as he’s stomped those feelings down long ago

𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐈

— LOVES your energy SO MUCH. it makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you talk and laugh around her; she feels wanted.

— your hype girl. she will absolutely cheer for you whenever you need it and she’ll squeal when you pay her back with hugs or compliments.

— she never seems to need any words or comfort from you whenever she’s sad, because every time you walk in her point of view she immediately lights up and her mood does a whole switch.

— clicked easily with you when you first got introduced, definitely love at first sight for her.

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐔 𝐊𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐎

— she’s surprised at first at how happy you could be in this line of profession, but soon after spending some more time with you she understands. you’ve given her a new reason to be happy everyday and she cherishes her genuine happiness closely.

— she refrains from teasing you as she does with giyu, because unlike with him she can’t stand to see your smile break even a little bit.

— likes the positive role model you present to her patients, encouraging them that everything was going to be okay and uplifting all the moods of all the people you speak with in her estate.

— eventually her own smiles will mirror your unfeigned ones over time. she thanks you heavily for that.

𝐌𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐎

— aloof with you as he does with most others at first. doesn’t understand the point and why you want to spend time with him so much—why it’d bring you so much joy to be around him.

— eventually he learns to tolerate it which leads to his days feeling unusually empty without you. he subconsciously asks for more missions with you with reasons that don’t fully make sense, but they’re more believable than “i don’t want to be apart from them.”

— and then when he regains his memories and the fog from his head is lifted; he’s absolutely smiling every time you’re around. he still dazes out of conversations once in a while, but that’s only because he’s busy looking at you.

— he comes to full terms with himself and hugs you a lot (to the point where he’d been called clingy by tengen a few times). he’s so, so happy with you and hopes you never fall to the line of work that you both reside in.

overluvsick | please do not repost, translate, and/or claim my works as yours !!

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.2. BACKSTABBING BITCH

“can i see you tonight? can i see you tomorrow? i want to be your friend. i wanna be more than that. will you love me tomorrow?”

from can i see you tonight? by eyedress, left at calmaart, sakai

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . present day. ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

i'm sorry i feel like the pacing of everything is a little convoluted,, there's not really a lot of timeskips. basically everything after this chapter is also in present day but i just wanted to make that clear <3 and hopefully the intros really clarifies how everyone's relationships changed, for example suna and y/n going from never talking to hanging out more <3

calmaart is a place in japan for street art supplies and clothing with a legal graffiti wall <3

IF YOU WERE HERE FOR THAT STUPID POLL I DID OVER "A" OR "MY" WHERE "MY" WON BUT I CHOSE "A" ANYWAY AND HAD AN ENTIRE CRISIS OVER IT THAT WAS FOR THIS CHAPTER (suna's "you're an angel") BUT THEN THIS ALSO LED TO ONE OF MY FIRST INTERACTIONS WITH @froyaoya WHO HELPED ME THRU THAT ENTIRE CRISIS SO IT WAS A GOOD THING IN THE END IG <3

both y/n and suna are typically people that use their priv accounts for the majority of their tweets. yn uses her public account for mostly photography to maintain an image of professionalism and suna mainly uses his public account for pictures of art and volleyball related things

suna is on yn's private because she lets all of her close friends onto it but she isn't on suna's because he told her it's mainly just the volleyball boys cursing each other out (which is true but most of all he was just scared to have her on it in case he tweeted about her)

y/n definitely skips school to have more available openings in her schedule for photography bookings

whenever she's taking pictures of a couple and they're not looking, she'll take a picture of them and send it to a groupchat with akaashi and kenma and ask if they think the couple's gonna make it or not

they'll spend hours analyzing the red and green flags

omi's the captain of the msby vball team BC I SAID SO

suna asked if he could leave practice early "to study for a test"

they have the same major and omi was like "we don't have an upcoming test."

suna played it off as retaking a previous test he hadn't done well on and omi could no longer be bothered and let him go

suna often stays until closing when he visits y/n at work and will walk her home <3

atsumu and oikawa work together well but in the beginning they had a bit of a rivalry, both being well known setters and they've just kind of continued to be slightly passive aggressive towards each other but get along for the most part

atsumu was locked in the bathroom for an hour until bokuto asked oikawa if they could let him out so he could shower

also not sure if i've said this but everyone is in their second year of college (not super important but just to avoid future plot holes)

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

Hi! I really wanna request something for andteam!

andteam during a fight?

If so I would appreciate you accepting my request!

Hiiii anon 💞 ofc you can!! I hope you enjoy 🥰 I’m going to write this in sections but struggle with motivation so pls come into my inbox to let me know if you’d want maknae line! sorry I’m a lil rusty it’s been a while since I wrote anything💔

K:

I view him as one of the least level headed, so in an argument I think he’d be a bit hurtful in what he says

even tho he’ll want to keep his cool he won’t be able to stop himself from making passive aggressive or backhanded comments

If he said something super mean I don’t think he’d be ready to double down out of stubbornness

unless you actively started crying or showing signs of going to leave

then he’d immediately regret everything

Cue word jumble of apologies and he’ll want to reach out to you and hold ur hand if you allow him but will understand if you don’t.

Would most likely exit the room to cool down so he doesn’t say anything else he regrets

Would come back in about an hour to try and figure the problem out with a better mindset and apologize again right off the bat

Would hold you very tight that night

Fuma:

Unlike K he is VERY level headed and would be very articulate with his wording

Hates when you are the cause of his stress and especially hates being the cause of yours as he wants to always be your protector and who you go to instead of be what you have to go to others about

Arguments with him are not regular and when they do happen he tries very hard to under your point of view and apologizes if it’s from something he did that made you upset

If you made him upset he’d be quick to communicate what didn’t sit right with him

He’d be the least likely to say rude comments to you since he doesn’t like putting you down in anyway

Euijoo:

He is a sweet guy with a tender heart he doesn’t like arguing

But when you guys do argue he’s very gentle and particular about his words but May sigh and sometimes his tone may sound condescending

If your argument gets heated he will be quick to put the argument on pause and have you guys chill in separate areas to think since the last thing he’s letting you guys do is say stuff just to be petty or hurtful to the other person

Let’s say you go into ur shared bedroom and he stays in the kitchen he will grab a glass of water and then go up to your room and ask to start the conversation up again

He’d give you the water and take a few deep breaths first before continuing and turning it from a fight to a conversation

Nicholas:

He is hot headed

He will not be thinking about your emotions exactly if you step on his toes he may genuinely get mean

He will only back down when you cry or if ur voice starts to break like K

Then he will probably either leave the house or go into a dif room to reevaluate what just happened

When he comes back he’ll apologize and itd be genuine but sound a little awkward

Will ask if you’ll let him talk to you about the situation again and he hopes you will do you guys can get it over with and since he’s had enough time to think of genuine responses and not condescending ones but understand if ur not wanting to

will let you sleep on the matter but will ask if you can sleep in the same bed

He just needs to hold you to know you’re not leaving

[beenbaanbuun]

Not sure if this is a request or me just going insane after reading your dumbification yeo fic but oop-

Been thinking about jealous Yeosang nonstop since then because I always get a little disappointed when fics paint him as this super passive, open lover. I mean it's all well and good to be someone who's genuinely okay with their partner having multiple partners/being kinda flirty, but I honestly don't see him as the type to be that chill

I mean sure he wouldn't exactly be as loud or aggressive about it as sayyy.... Joong or Sannie, I am a switch!Yeosang enthusiast after all, but I still think he'd get upset if he saw you being too chummy with one of your guy friends or one of the other members.

Early on in the relationship it would probably be all cute, he gets pouty and quiet, maybe clingy after and he needs lots of affirmation and assurance before he feels secure again.

But once he's comfortable with you? C'mon, you CANNOT tell me he's not the type to pin you against the door as soon as you get home, hands and lips desperately latching on to you as you clutch at his hair, deep voice muffled by your skin as he seethes over That Guy who kept hitting on you or how Wooyoung was a little too touchy for his peace of mind (woo totally did it on purpose btw).

And oh my god if those angry growls turn desperate? If you're not responding verbally cuz you're just so overwhelmed by everything that's Yeo?? And he suddenly whines into your neck and nuzzles your pulse point seeking verbal affirmation??? And you grip his hair and he whimpers when you tug so he has to look you in the eye?????

I need to calm tf down before I drop a whole 1.5k word smut fic in your ask box but you get the idea XDD

Jealous yeo lives rent free in my brain and you're writing has him running LAPS TwT we as a fandom have failed to have enough yeosang smut on the market and it Saddens Me

~Lyra

i am CLINICALLY INSANE!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME 😭😭😭

like i’m sorry but i can imagine him just pinning you to the door, fully clothed, and grinding up against you. his mouth is just on your neck, sucking, biting, kissing at your flesh until its mottled with purple bruises. like there’s literally no rhyme or reason, he’s just that desperate to his his mouth on you and mark you up that he barely gives you a minute to think straight.

like you’re still both fully dressed and your back is still presses uncomfortable against the door, but that doesn’t stop yeosang from bucking his hips up into yours, dry humping you because he doesn’t have the patience with you right now. he needs you to know that you’re his and his alone.

“can’t fucking believe you,” he growls before biting down on the soft flesh. you keen at the sensation, legs going weak. you’re glad he has you pinned to the door; if he didn’t, you might fall, “all over that guy as if you don’t have a perfectly good boyfriend who takes care of you. what? did you just want my attention? because now you have it.”

you whimper as he grinds down hard against your pelvis, his clothed hard-on rubbing so deliciously against your folds. you want him in you, but with everything that’s going on, you can barely think, let alone talk.

“s-sangie-” you choke out, trying to tell him how bad you need him, but you’re cut off by the whine that claws it’s way up your throat.

“what?” he grunts into your neck, “you want to tell me something?”

you nod, but no words come out. yeosang chuckles darkly into your neck.

“go on then, baby,” his teeth graze against you, threatening to add to the purple bruises that run up and down your skin, “if you’re going to tell me anything, tell me how bad you need me.”

you know it’s an ego thing. of course it is; yeosang was obviously hurt when he saw you flirting with the other man, and now it’s your job to repair that. and you would, if you could hold a thought for more than two seconds. you’d love nothing more than to stroke his ego, make him feel all big and powerful and like he’s the only man in the world.

but you just can’t. every time you open your mouth, you lose your train of thought and all that comes out is a few pants as yeosang tears your mind down to nothing. you cant even focus when he pulls back a little, studying your face with glassy eyes before diving right back into your neck. he doesn’t suck, or bite, or kiss this time. he just nuzzles the sticky skin with his nose, mumbling almost incoherent words against it.

“baby,” he says after a moment or two, voice a little breathier than before, “baby, please tell me me how much you need me. need to hear it.”

his tongue darts out and he begins to lap one of the bite marks, as if trying to soothe it. it only makes your mind race more.

as do the continuous whimpers that you can hear spilling into the air, only this time they’re not from you. they’re from yeosang.

yeosang who is still grinding into you, albeit with sloppier, softer motions than before. who is still pinning you to the wall, only with a more desperate grip, as if you’ll slip away if he lets go. who still has his face pressed against your neck, words slipping from his mouth, but now they beg rather than degrade.

“baby, please,” he whispers, and you feel something wet fall against your neck; a tear, “i need you tell tell me you need me.”

he sounds so pathetic, crying into your neck like that, and it soon sinks in that the tables have turned without you even really realising. the man that had pinned you to the door minutes prior, wanting nothing more than to teach you a lesson, had vanished. he’s been replaced by your baby boy, who was so desperate to hear how much you wanted him. so desperate to know that you loved him as much as he loved you.

you try your hardest to gather your thoughts, just enough for you to be able to scrape together a sentence or so. but with yeosang bucking against you like a dog in heat, its so incredibly hard. add that to the fact that he’s gone back to suckling at your neck like its going to bring him some sort of comfort and there’s no way you were getting a coherent sentence out.

so you lace you fingers into his hair, grateful of how long it had gotten, and tug. he lets out a long whimper, eyes rolling into the back of his head as you tug his far enough back to see his face. you tug again, wordlessly pleading for him to look at you. just once would be enough for him to see how thoroughly mindless he has you already. just once for him to understand that he is all you can think about right now.

[gothlcsan]

Study Partners ; KIM JIWOONG

PAIRING nonidol!jiwoong , afab!reader

GENRE SMUT 18+

SYNOPSIS Being best friends since childhood, it’s not too hard for fall for your best friend and tutor, yeah?

WORD COUNT 2511

WARNINGS kissing, oral (reader receiving), best friend since childhood trope, fingering, hair pulling, fluff, use of both lube and protection, jiwoong likes to ask for consent, feminine pet names, reader is a praise whore (me too)

♫ love on the brain - rihanna

a/n day thirteen of kinktober! i think best friend slash tutor jiwoong is super attractive (and his hands ?? 😵‍💫) so this was a bit self indulgent i won’t lie.. if you enjoyed please consider liking and reblogging as it helps ! ty <3

You glance up from your workbook, catching a glimpse of your tutor, Jiwoong, staring at you with the most blatantly obvious bored expression on his face. Neither of you wanted to be stuck in your bedroom, your mother repetitively coming to drop off sliced fruits and drinks every hour on the dot. Jiwoong and your mother’s were best friends since their high school days which meant you were thrown into the highly unfortunate, “forced to be friends” trope. Pushing your workbook away from yourself you tuck your chin into your arms, raising an eyebrow as Jiwoong starts to get up from the floor.

“Are you going home?”

Jiwoong nods, collecting his books into his hand, reaching for his bag that is laid next to him, you puckering your lips and nodding.

“Tell your Mom that I don’t need your tutoring anymore, it’s not like it’s helping anyways.”

The last part you grumble, barely audible, Jiwoong scoffing with an annoyed smirk as he bids you goodbye, leaving to go back next door. Not only did you go to college with Jiwoong but living next to him with both your Moms being best friends was inherently exhausting within itself. Both of you entering your senior year of college meant that they’d be on your backs to study, suggesting that the two of your study together at each other’s homes. Neither of you spoke up with your disinterest in doing so, ultimately deciding it was easier to do what you were told than speak up and say no.

Standing up from your spot on the floor, you plopped down onto your bed, falling backwards to lay flat against the mattress. You were exhausted from your long day of class, your eyes growing heavy whilst your mind began to wonder off. Your eyes shoot open, you scream into your hand, sitting up looking around your bedroom as if someone had intruded on you and your very scary (and highly inappropriate) thoughts about Jiwoong. Ultimately you decided to swallow and repress them, taking an ice cold shower before bed to help rid yourself of any thoughts.

A few days later and you still cannot shake the thoughts that plagued your mind, being reminded of them each time you opened the front door to let him in for tutoring. Your eyes wander down to his hands, gulping as he asks if he could come in, apologizing with a blush as you step out of the way. Studying is almost impossible as everything feels heightened in the space of your bedroom.

“What are you planning to do for your team project?” Jiwoong asked while rolling up the sleeves to his shirt, making your face turn beet red, trying to hide the fact by placing your book directly in front of your face.

“Um, I haven’t planned it out just yet, we’re currently deciding on the topic.”

Jiwoong snorts, you dropping the book onto the table making him flinch and swear under his breath startled.

“Why don’t you pick the topic yourself and dish them out tasks instead? Waiting on them to decide if they want to help or not.”

You know what Jiwoong meant, implying to not be a pushover and take charge, you telling him to calm down as he repeatedly encourages you to text them, taking your phone out and sending the text. The response is overall good, the one teammate being a bit passive aggressive with their response but you choose to ignore it, going back to your book now a little less stressed with work. Jiwoong lifts his hand up, giving the top of your head a few slow pets, making you freeze with widened eyes.

“Good girl.”

Jiwoong’s words bounce around your skull making you blink in confusion and undoubtedly horniness, chuckling nervously as you shy away from his hand. He drops his hand apologizing, you being a little too quick to reassure him it was perfectly fine, smiling sheepishly with your face instantly flushing. Quietness blanked over the room as you both refocused on your respective studies, you feeling a bit unfocused thanks to Jiwoong’s words from earlier, Jiwoong himself becoming a distraction all together. Your eyes linger from his unholy sculptured features, traveling down his shoulders, a little sad his first three buttons aren’t undone like usual, stopping at his hands. Those stupid hands. The very hands that have held yours multiple times throughout the years since childhood, the hands that had just petted your hair, the hands you ached to have in between your thighs. It’s painfully hard to focus as Jiwoong asks if you’re ok, stumbling over your words as you try to play it off as just being tired, Jiwoong raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

“You sure you’re ok?”

You swallow before nodding, giving Jiwoong a faint smile as you clenched your thighs together, it grows increasingly difficult to think or keep yourself out together. Jiwoong places down his pencil, leaning towards you over the table, making you lean back with a flushed face, as you asked him what he was doing. He caresses your cheek into his hand, his smile making you weak in the knees thankful you were sitting down.

“What Jiwoong?” You asked again, pretending to be oblivious to his actions, although not that they made much sense anyways. Jiwoong smirks as his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, bouncing back into place as he finishes swiping across it. Your breath hitches in your throat not sure how exactly to feel or react to this, wanting it so desperately your limbs felt nearly numb.

“You’re so god awful pretty.”

The words make your heart nearly stop beating, scanning his face looking for any indication he was joking, screaming in your head practically begging for him to be serious. The look in your eyes must’ve given you away as Jiwoong leans closer, his eyes darting from your lips back to your eyes.

“May I?”

Nodding, you wait for him to kiss you, softly saying yes before he pressed his lips against your own. They’re soft, almost too soft, the subtle hint of stubble brushing over your top lip as your lips worked in harmony. Impatience numbs your limbs as you wrap your hands around both his forearms, silently begging for him to come closer, Jiwoong not disconnecting from you once as he moved around the small table. He pulls you onto his lap, his hands warm on the small of your back, the other just barely touching the exposed skin on your waist, intoxicating you with his touch. Shaky gasps fall from you when Jiwoong swipes everything off the table, open pencil bags spilling across the floor. Giggling when Jiwoong lifted you up by your waist to place you on top of the table, not wasting any time to spread your legs apart much to your embarrassment. His hands trail up your thighs as he teases you for your underwear saying he didn’t take you as a lace wearer, threatening to kick him if he didn’t put his annoying mouth to proper use. Placing open mouthed kisses on the areas of your legs that your skirt failed to cover, you hum in approval, combing your fingers through his hair tugging at the ends between clenched fingers.

“Jiwoong,” you breathlessly moaning as you let your head fall back as he takes his hands, hiking up your skirt and wrapping his fingers around the band of your panties. Lifting your hips up enough for him to slide them down your legs, hurriedly kicking them off aimlessly to get him back where you wanted him most. Jiwoong moves a hand up your right thigh moving your leg up to get a better access to you. The kisses he leaves up your thighs before stopping just over your cunt, his breath fanning hot over you making you shiver with need, looking down at him with a desperate pout. Jiwoong looking up at you through his eyelashes with that smirk makes you nearly faint, wrapping both hands into his hair to keep him in place as he pushes himself face first into your cunt. His lips brush over your clit giving it opened mouth kisses before focusing his tongue to lick a wet stripe down your slit, delving it into your hole as he moves you closer to his face. Breathy moans fall from your lips as you lay back against the table, head hanging off the edge as you keep your fingers in place, desperate to keep Jiwoong. His hand travels from your thigh to meet alongside his tongue, making you swear under your breath when he slowly pushes a single finger into you.

“Sh, relax, baby.” Jiwoong hushes you as he relaxes you, which allows a second finger to slip in easily, your eyes rolling back as he laps you up. You’re overwhelmed with pleasure not being coherent enough to think or speak complete sentences, being reduced down to noises and broken sentences.

“Want more.”

“Hm?”

You look down at Jiwoong chewing on your lip before repeating yourself, the smile on his face lighting up as he slowly pulls away, standing up to strip. Watching in awe as his fingers undo his dress shirt, the black fabric being tossed elsewhere in the room, your cunt wet with need as he unhooks his belt. The sound of the metal clicking together makes you genuinely insane, clenching around nothing as he steps out of his slacks, his dick hard in his boxers. By any means he’s not painfully huge but he’s definitely above average, praying internally to be able to take him. Watching him take off his boxers nearly takes you out, his dick hard against his lower abdomen making you want him more. He asks if you have any lube and condoms, pointing to your bedside table telling him to look in the drawer.

“Huh, you’re that type of girl huh?”

You arch yourself to be able to see him, sitting up in a panic going to slam the drawer nearly crushing his fingers.

“Pretend you saw nothing.”

“Aw why? Embarrassed that your best friend saw your vibrator?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh so scary.”

Jiwoong smirks, taking the lube and condom in his hand, wrapping his other hand around your waist as he pushes you onto your bed. His knee pushes up against your cunt, making you flush red, suddenly shy from him being in your bed. Ripping the condom open with his teeth, he places a generous amount of lube onto his dick before using the lube covered hand to roll the condom on, humming at the sensation. Seeing him work up makes you giddy, licking your bottom lip as you watch him, gasping when he wraps his hands around the back of your knees, pulling you flush to him. His fingers rub over your cunt making you hum in satisfaction, mumbling for him to hurry, him chuckling calling you impatient as he aligns himself to you. Jiwoong slowly starts to push into you, your fingers curled around his forearms as your mouth hangs open due to the stretch. He gives you time to relax, praising you as he carefully pushes until he bottoms out, you grunting in slight pain but it becomes pleasure when you familiarize with the size. Giving him the ok, he begins to roll his hips, his thighs meeting against yours - - making him hit the places you wanted him for so long. He leans down to catch you into a kiss, comforting you as he begins to pick up pace, the sound of skin hitting skin making your brain foggy. Moaning against his lips he swallows each and every single one, his praises being lost as the pressure begins to blossom in the pit of your stomach. Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, you curl your fingers around the baby hairs that laid there.

“More, faster, please.”

You can feel Jiwoong smirk against your lips, knowing the exact shit eating grin he was sporting, him obliging by quickening his hips, snapping against you hard enough to leave harsh red marks. Throwing your head back you babble how good it felt, how good he felt, burying your face into the crook of his neck as you moaned uncontrollably. Without warning he hits you in your bundle of nerves, your vision blurring letting him know to keep it up, fingernails digging deep into his shoulders. Pleasure builds up in your stomach until it becomes too much, begging to cum, Jiwoong petting the side of your head telling you to breathe and cum for him. The soft tenderness of his praises mixed in with his own moans is enough to tip you over the edge, clinging to him as you cum, vision stark white with stars bordering the edges. Your breathing relaxes as Jiwoong continues to help you through your orgasm, focusing on his own, snaking one hand up to intertwine your fingers with his. He leans his other arm down so his forearm is pressed against the mattress by your head, quickening his thrusts, stopping when he cums, thighs spasming as he slowly rides it out in waves. Both of you are panting heavily trying to catch your breath when he slowly pulls out, groaning at the drag alongside your walls. Jiwoong pulls off the condom, tying it close before finding your box of tissues, wrapping it up before tossing it into the trash. Jiwoong offers to help you clean up, asking him to grab you a wet cloth, cleaning yourself up as he pulls on his boxers. You watch him as he cleans up your school supplies, looking for your clothes as you get dressed.

“How do you feel?”

You look over blushing as Jiwoong is finishing getting dressed, slightly sad to see him clothed.

“I feel really good, less tense. How do you feel? Was it ok?”

Jiwoong looks at you in confusion, walking up to you to caress your cheek into his hand, pressing a kiss to your lips between each word.

“You were incredible, I swear. We should do this more often, what do you say, baby?”

A blush creeps up from your neck to your cheeks, giggling when Jiwoong lifts you up from your thighs to wrap your legs around your waist. His hands cup your ass as he kisses you, asking if you could promote him from tutor to boyfriend. You giggle at him, nodding in agreement giving him another kiss before wrapping your arms around his shoulders in a hug.

“Best friend to tutor to now boyfriend? Be careful, someone might call me greedy.” You joked.

Jiwoong laughs, bringing you up to lay your back flat against the wall, trailing his lips and kisses both down your neck to leave marks.

“Greedy? I like greedy, I want you to claim me as your own, as I am with you.”

Nodding, you both promise to be greedy with another, making out until you beg him to take you back to bed, forgetting about studying all together.

[simpingland]

Hi 👋😊, I think I finally have some ideas

Is it okay that I can send you some more ben plunkett requests? 😌

Can I please send you my first request?

Well the reader (fem pronouns) had a nightmare and he is just comforting her and is just super sweet to her. Please just fluff and maybe friends to lovers.

I thought about these prompts from this prompt list

"Lay your head on my shoulder and try to sleep."

"I'm going to be here when you wake up."

Please? Thank you 🥺😊🫂🫶

Sorry if it's too detailed 🙈

If you have some question or want another scenario, my messages and asks are always open 😌

Study routine// Ben Plunkett x fem!reader.

Summary: exams are on the corner, you and your best friend Ben have an excuse to spend more time together, just to study, right? Right???

Exam time was a bittersweet time for you. Many looked at you strangely when you said it, considering that for others, it was a time that was simply... bitter. But not everyone could understand that for you. This time meant something more. Those were the only weeks where you could spend the whole day locked in your room with Ben Plunkett. Usually, his visits to your house were accompanied by "keep the door open", "it's time to say goodbye, show Ben out the door" or embarrassing interactions between your mother and Ben where they always ended up making fun of you. But during exam time, your parents would let Ben spend the whole day in your room, with the door closed and no distractions. The good grades that followed the end of the school year had reassured your parents, and besides, you couldn't think of a better study partner.

You were going home straight from high school, taking the long way home so you could listen to all the music you couldn't listen to during study hours.

"We should order pizza today," Ben suggested.

"No, we had hamburgers for dinner yesterday, I feel bad for spending weeks feeding myself such greasy food..." You rebutted him. Ben gave you a sideways glance before smiling and denying.

"Stop pretending you don't think it's a dream to have pizza for dinner, breakfast, and snacks."

You smiled too but folded your arms.

"You're not denying me? Too bad, it would have been funny if you had refused only to tell you that I'm already turning to go to the pizzeri."

You let out a laugh, and when you were already ordering at the counter, you took the reins, ordering everything to your liking and knowing that Ben would hold out for whatever you ordered.

"Do you pay by card or cash?" The boy at the counter asked.

"I don't know, ask Ben."

And you stepped back, letting him talk to him. Ben turned to you with a panicked face and moved his lips to tell you voicelessly that he was going to kill you.

"With cash, please."

He put down the bill and put his arm around your neck, playfully shoving you and ruffling your hair as you laughed.

Your parents greeted Ben with their usual cheerfulness, and continued watching TV when they saw that you were ready to start studying. Of course, Ben had offered to give them one of the pizzas you had ordered, which your mother loved, your father accepted, your mother flatly declined, and your father declined almost immediately.

"You're a sweetheart, Ben..." your mother had said, and so you repeated it as soon as you closed the door.

"Of course I am, I bought you pizza."

"If we had salads for dinner, I would have bought them myself."

"Yeah, but you would have made me cry... and no amount of money can heal a broken heart."

"You underestimate the amount of money I would have paid to watch you passive aggressively poke lettuce while crying in a corner."

"You would have thrown money away because you could see me like that during visits to my aunt's house during Christmas."

You laughed and tossed him pen to ask him to start concentrating. You continued the afternoon as you did during studying, introducing and explaining subjects to each other, correcting each other, and in the case of algebra, watching youtube tutorials in silence. Studying with Ben was like a library session, with its silences and repetitions. After a day with him, all the time felt rewarding, and all the learning was useful. You also liked this time because it left you no room to think about the strange feelings your best friend aroused in you, you just enjoyed and studied, the doubts would come later. The pizza was delicious, although it was already cold, and Ben told you about last weekend when he was forced to visit his grandparents. When you went back to studying, the topic you had left to solve was one of the most difficult for you.

"Do you understand it yet?" he asked you after explaining it to you for the fourth time. You nodded, but your eyes glazed over. "Hey, hey, it's okay, I can explain it again..."

"It's just that it's a very important point, and I'm going to fail it..."

"No, you're not going to fail it because I'll make sure you understand it."

You smiled at him and watched him turn a little red. Suddenly moved again by your feelings, you had to look away from him, and you became aware of the whole mess running around the room.

"I'm going to throw away the pizza cartons. Do you want something from the kitchen?" You offered.

"No, but let me help you."

He came downstairs with you, and you were both surprised at the silence in the house. Your parents were chatting quietly in the kitchen, already in their pajamas.

"Wow..." you said, looking at them quizzically, "what time is it?"

"Half past eleven, honey," said your mother.

"Well, I'd better get going then," Ben seemed startled, tossing the empty boxes in the trash and intending to start packing up.

"Ben, wait!" You asked, and he stopped. And not knowing why you had that impulse, you turned to your parents for help. Your mother understood you instantly.

"You don't have to go...stay the night" she offered and you smiled at her gratefully. Ben hesitated, glanced at your father, who nodded in passing, he'd known Ben for a long time now, and looked back at you.

"Sure, if it's no trouble at all," he said at last.

"None. I just think it's a better idea if you don't keep studying. It's important to sleep to retain, " your mother assured him, looked back at you, and winked.

"It doesn't take much convincing to get me to stop studying," Ben joked.

You went back up to your room, set up the mattress with blankets and pillows that Ben had once used from previous sleepovers. Although you didn't remember that the last time he stayed over was a few years ago, and from your bed you saw how the blanket fell short, and his feet were sticking out. You laughed at the image, and he threw a pillow at you.

"Listen to your mother, go to sleep," he scolded.

"I can't...I'm afraid of the giant teenager who has snuck into my room," you told him in a little girl voice, something you knew irritated him.

"I'm more afraid of the farts you might bomb me with at night after pizzas."

Jokingly, you turned off the light, wished each other good night, and promptly fell asleep. Or at least he did. You fell into a terrible nightmare. You were walking along the road that led to the institute, at night and alone. It was cold, and you didn't seem to get anywhere, no matter how far you walked. Suddenly, a car appeared, and as it approached, you noticed that you recognized it, Ben's car. You were glad to see him, and he seemed to see you. He was speeding up to pick you up as soon as possible, and as he was approaching, the car was going too fast, and Ben couldn't stop. He had already left you behind when he disappeared into the darkness, without hearing you call out to him, and you began to scream and cry. Then you noticed shaking, your name, and when you opened your eyes, you saw Ben, illuminated by the little light from the window.

"Hey, hey...easy...wake up, it was just a bad dream..." he whispered to you.

"Ben...thank goodness..." You soothed, hugging him, which surprised him.

"Yes, I'm here. I heard you had a nightmare about me."

"You left me alone on the road, at night..." you told him, releasing him just a little.

"Some asshole I am in your subconscious, aren't I?"

He smiles at you, and you smiled back, somewhat embarrassed that you had woken him up. He wanted to go back to his bed, but your hesitation to let go of his hand made him think you might not want to. He was right. He lay down next to you.

"I hate having nightmares. Whenever I have one, I always have a worse one afterwards."

"You'll have to risk it, you need to rest" he insisted. "Lay your head on my shoulder and try to sleep."

You looked at him with sheepish eyes, afraid to dream about him again. He smiled at you, and some of his confidence rubbed off on you. After all, they were just dreams. You would forget about them in the course of the day. Ben kissed you on the forehead, something he had never done before, before whispering something to you.

"I'm going to be here when you wake up."

You didn't have any nightmares again, in fact, you woke up rested. It was Ben who had a little more trouble waking up. You watched him for a second...yes, you were definitely a little more in love with your best friend than you thought. You had to make a great effort not to think too much about that kiss on your forehead, and you were so nervous about your exams that you didn't notice how flushed Ben was when he remembered he was sleeping in your bed, you next to him. He had memorized the smell of your hair, and feeling your weight on his had lulled him into a sweet sleep he never wanted to wake up from.

Every exam you finished was a reason to get together, always giving each other a hug that attracted the eyes of all the classmates, you reviewed the subjects without being able to avoid being distracted, and Ben loved to review outdoors because the air stirred your hair and he had an excuse to put your hair back in place. You even felt sorry for yourself on the last day of exams, Ben was going to a family meal, and you were back to eating normal food, sleeping alone and spending the evening with people who weren't your best friends. The messages were constant, but never enough. You had just finished reading the approved notes from your email when you heard Ben's car pull up in front of your house. That one subjet that worried you the most, approved. You ran to greet him, shouting your A's into the air, and Ben responded with his in return. He grabbed you as soon as you approached, squeezing you against him, full of joy.

"This deserves a reward," you said.

"Have you missed pizza as your only food as much as I have?

No, you hadn't missed the pizza. You had missed him.

"Of course I have," you lied.

You let him order at his taste that time, which surprised him. You sat at one of the smaller tables, waiting to be served.

"I'm surprised you let me have so much freedom," Ben said, half smiling, half confused.

"Well, it's just that... you've really helped me a lot, what less than letting you choose.

"Helping you with what exactly?"

"Well...studying." You felt the colours rise in your cheeks.

"Just like you helped me study."

"Well... Ben, in general, you help me with everything. You make everything so... fun."

Now he was blushing. He stood closer to you.

"I hope you know that you make everything better too..."

"I'm a little annoying, maybe."

"A little," he joked. "And I like that I'm the one who sees that side of you."

"Really?"

"I really do. I love that you dream about me, even if I'm an asshole in it."

"Don't be silly, it was a nightmare precisely because you left me alone. And I just want you to be with me."

Your tone was much more serious. Your expression made it clear that you meant it, that your gratitude was a confession.

"You know what's funny? I dream about you too. But not when I sleep...I dream awake, imagining what we will say to each other when I pick you up from home, or what we will tell each other when we go out to eat together...I dream of spending the whole day with you and I am content to be with you for a while because it is...wonderful. But no matter how much I dream, nothing is better than being able to hug you and be by your side, even if it's only for five minutes between classes."

That's when you couldn't help but jump in for a kiss, cutting the distance between you two. A tender, long kiss, it felt new and yet so recognizable, like something that should have happened a long time ago. Luckily, it had just happened. You pulled away and watched as Ben smiled, an idea formulating in his head and joked.

"Too bad we have to wait for spring exams to spend the day together again."

You pushed him back with a laugh, but he moved his chair to stand next to you and kiss you again. Everything Ben did justified the fact that the pizzas he ordered were terrible.

A/N: sorry this took fucking forever, I gave up on writing here, I had a crisis over writing smuts. But I felt bad about abandoning this cuz I started writing it with a lot of love and I really like it. I think I'll write on tumblr again. Hope you like it, so sorry for the wait.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ‘I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[meow-town]

Okay I really like the Dee x Girly girl concept. So how about a oneshot on Y/N, Glam, and Vicky’s first meeting? How did Vicky act towards Y/N? I’m so invested O_O

Thanks for this request, I’m glad ur invested! And I’m sorry I haven’t been posting as much, personal projects and works keep coming and I barely have the time to write for tumblr anymore. Plus, I prefer to take my time with these posts as I believe in quality over quantity.

But I’ve found the time and motivation to write here, so let’s get into it!

Dee x Girly!Fem!Reader Pt.2

-You arrived with Dee at his house, super nervous. I mean, you were meeting his folks. Most people get nervous.

-You made sure to wear your nicest skirt with a cute blouse and natural makeup. Didn’t want to cake yourself up like other times.

-Once you arrived at the door, arm hooking around Dee’s, you were practically trembling. Shaking in your damn sneakers.

-He reassured you, of course, and insisted that they would love you no matter what. And that if they didn’t, they could take it up with him. You two walked in the house to find no one there.

-Dee called for his parents, Glam was changing the strings on ‘Gibson’ and Victoria was working on a motorcycle. She came to you with gloves covered in motor oil. Glam arrived with perfect hair, perfect makeup and perfect nails, as always.

-Dee introduced you as his girlfriend and you went around shaking hands shyly, telling them how nice it was to meet them. Glam hesitated a bit, and Victoria grumbled under her breath with a light scowl. You just brushed it off and introduced yourself in more depth. Your name, what class you were in, etc…

-It took Glam maybe 5 seconds to get accustomed to you. He was kind of shocked at first. Hair all done up, with a mainly pink outfit. You looked like the polar opposite of his son. But then he noticed you were nice, and loosened up.

-Victoria however…

-She stared. Hard. Like she was wondering what this thing was doing in her house with her son. She was made fun of as a kid by ‘girly girls’ , so she’s very distant at first. That, and she’s very protective of her children, like a mama bear. Was very condescending and passive-aggressive for the entire time.

-‘So, (f/n), what do you do for… fun?’

‘Oh! Well, going shopping, trying new looks, getting my nails done… As well as the standard stuff, like watching TV and listening to music.’

‘Of course you do…’

-‘And, uh, how did you two meet?’

‘I was paired up with him for a science project, and we just hit it off.’

‘Yeah, ma. She’s real smart.’

‘Oh, is she? Wouldn’t have expected that…’

-You definitely noticed this behavior and clinged to Dee most of the time, in a very closed manner. Glam was just happy to be there, but also picked up on Victoria’s ways.

-Dee had to keep hyping you up, because you were too intimidated by Vicky to speak up about the way she spoke to you. It wasn’t aggressive, but definitely rude.

-Yeah, she was kind of an asshole at first.

-Glam cleared his throat every time Vicky was mean, as a way to tell her to stop, but she wouldn’t.

-Heavy was overhearing from his room, and figured he should go down so he could chat with you, but he quickly became intrigued. Just chose to listen to his mother’s comments, brows furrowing further each time.

-By the time she’s done interrogating and making you feel small, you decide it’s time for you to leave. Glam expresses his feelings of gratitude, saying he’s joyful Dee is happy with such a lovely young woman :)

-Vicky grumbles.

-Dee offers to walk you home, like a good boyfriend, but you deny his help, claiming you’re fine on your own. You wanted to show his mother you didn’t need Dee for everything, even if he was glad to give it to you.

-The second the door closed behind you, Heavy trampled down the stairs to join his brother and father in a group frown. They stared at Vicky for a good while, until Dee burst.

‘Ma, what the hell!?! What do you have against (f/n)?!?’

‘Yeah, you were mean to her for no reason!’

‘Vicky, you were excessively harsh with her.’

‘What, you’re defending that bimbo?’

-Dee would never cuss out his parents, but he came damn close. -Absolutely raging, he raised his voice to tell her off, only to trudge off to his room and slam the door. Heavy followed him into his room, also expressing his disappointment.

-She got super defensive, yelled , stood up, and left for the garage. Glam followed her after he apologized to Dee and gave him a talk on why his mother was acting this way.

-Glam knows Vicky, and he makes sure to not press any buttons and tread carefully. If she tells him to leave her alone, he will, and he’ll try again in 5 minutes.

-Once she’s taken her anger out on a punching bag, she allows Glam to speak with her.

-He explains how she was rude to their son’s girlfriend, giving multiple examples, and asks why. Even if he already knows why. He also adds how she seems to be upset about their son’s girlfriend being feminine, but she certainly doesn’t mind it when he’s feminine.

-Glam knows about Vicky’s struggles in the past with girly girls. Girls who looked just like you. She was left to the side, left out of everything, made fun of, avoided. She was bullied.

-He quickly explained that was no reason to make fun of someone who happened to look like those girls, and made sure she agreed to be nicer the next time.

-You were invited to dinner the next week. Of course, you were nervous regarding last week’s events with Vicky, but Dee said the whole family insisted. And so you agreed.

-You arrived with a casual dress and the nicest purse you could find, having spent extra time on your hair that day. Maybe she thought you weren’t classy enough? No, I mean, she came to you covered in motor oil… You were incredibly scared to ring the doorbell, and had to weigh out how to make the afternoon go perfectly, but thankfully someone came to your aid.

-Heavy was supposed to be helping out with the dinner and setting up the tables, but he had gotten detention that Friday and came home late. He saw you at the door and offered to walk inside with you.

-Dee stood up from leaning on a pillar, and greeted you with a small peck. Glam came out in a black apron with glittery pink accents, carrying a big pot of pasta. He couldn’t wave, but greeted you warmly all the same. Ches was on the kitchen counter, with his guitar, and waved to you. Victoria actually came to you and asked to speak in private.

-She apologized about the events that had happened and said they were uncalled for, and then said she was happy her son was dating someone like you :)

-When she pulled you away to a corner, you were lowkey scared 💀

-Like, ‘omg is she going to cuss me out and/or beat me up?’

-But you were pleasantly surprised with the outcome and told her it was okay.

-Then, you joined your Glam, Victoria, Heavy, Dee and their crackhead uncle in a lovely dinner, where you got to meet everyone a little better.

-And Heavy didn’t eat his vegetables and gave them to the stray cats, attracting a huge pack of them at the window.

-Also, Ches said he thought Dee would be one of those guys that ends up a virgin at the age of 40.

-You can’t have a normal time when they’re around, but nevertheless, lovely.

[crabbunch]

ETHUBS SLAY THE PRINCESS AU CHAPTER TWO ROUTES:

The Witch: This timeline's this au's version of Hermitcraft season 5 (the one with the NHO and the jungle). There's lots of plants. Etho is distrustful of Bdubs. There's frog and scorpion metaphors. But also if Bdubs is careful he can give Etho his knife and let her stab him. Which is basically the same thing as the jungle eating Etho, slowly driving Bdubs insane, and then also eating Bdubs. Or was that the convex. Whatever it doesn't matter. You get the vibes.

The Damsel: This one's based off of secret life. In stp, the damsel's whole deal is that your perceptions of her warp and twist her into something that is no longer a person. I kind of had a hard time thinking of something that fit but I eventually settled on secret life just because those tasks sure did weird things lmao am i right???? anyways this Etho seemingly says all the things she never said directly to Bdubs face and means none of them. Because she is only wish fulfillment. It's not satisfying to see the horse course leap up from the ground, no contribution from Bdubs necessary, anyways. He doesn't like this Etho.

The Stranger: This timeline's based off of Etho's single-player world. More specifically, it's based on episode 404. Bdubs isn't supposed to be here. There's lots of Ethos. It's a sort of warped version of the true multitudes that Etho and Bdubs hold. They don't ever know each other. Bdubs isn't supposed to be on Etho's single-player world. His voice is familiar, but he's not supposed to be here.

The Adversary: This timeline is based off of various UHCs. Etho is good at fighting, and violent, and very very hot. Most importantly, she's not really mad at Bdubs. She's just kind of bored and lonely, and when he shows up, she's READY to fight to the death with him. For like, fun. If Bdbus plays his cards right, he and Etho can fight to the death as many times as they want, respawning just to pummel each other into a bloody pulp again and again and again. Peak romance <3. His other options involve running away, not getting in the right mindset and killing Etho "permanently" or dying permanently." Grian is incredibly unimpressed by the fact that Bdubs has a crush on the VERY MURDEROUS AND BLOODTHIRSTY PRINCESS. as if he doesn't have worse taste.

The Spectre: This one's based off of double life. Etho's kind of petty and passive aggressive but doesn't really outright make any moves against Bdubs. Bdubs acts like nothing's going on between them and like everything's the same as ever. They team up in the end, but it doesn't have time to go anywhere because they die right after that. And by die I mean Etho is swallowed up into the greater consciousnesses of Etho goddess edition and Bdubs into his own god.

The Beast: this timeline is based off of Survival of the Fittest. Mostly because it's super duper dark down in the basement, and I think that it's a funny dig at Bdubs' terrible footage where you can see absolutely nothing. However if you think about it getting eaten by a creature so that both of she can escape the cabin only to get taken away by your greater self before you can really taste the fresh air is sort of like killing a guy's teammates and then handcuffing him to you so that you have to team. and then loosing.

The Prisoner: This one's last life. Etho chops off her own head and trusts Bdubs to take it outside the cabin? Trusts Bdubs to believe in her? That's only one route. They can beat each other to death. They can get locked in the basement together and watch the eons pass. Idk how to explain it but this is just so last life to me. There's a fragile trust between them. It's all fun and games. They're both deadly serious. Grian is there. Head in hands.

The Nightmare: This one's based off of Mindcrack- specifically the Death Games and a few other pranks that Etho plays on Bdubs. I think that psychological damage via seeing every single timeline ever is sort of the same thing as the obsidian coffin. Also I think that needing a guy in the back of your head to recite "heart, lung, liver, nerves" in order to stop your organs from shutting down is very early videos Bdubs.

The Razor: This one is Hermitcraft season 8. Bdubs dies over and over and over again. Nothing he does stops it. Etho is silly and goofy and doesn't really realize the weight of the situation. "I'm going to kill you now ^_^" most etho core thing ever.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

this happened a while ago but i still feel conflicted about it. (tw: mention of germophobia, mention of suicidal thoughts) and this might get very long, so sry about that.

am i (18, F) the asshole for not wanting to try on shoes?

i know that this must sound super weird, but basically i have a pretty extreme phobia of germs and my dad (60s, M) took me spontaneously to a shoe store to buy new shoes.

now i’m also autistic, so this spontaneous change of plans was already pretty stressful for me, but i tried to hide that and pretended to be okay with that.

the thing is that i had only one “clean” pair of shoes (like clean on the inside, not the outside obviously) and like those got dirty/muddy when i was on a walk with a friend and it rained really extremely. the evening after that, i spent like an hour trying to get those shoes clean again bc otherwise i don’t know if i could’ve forced myself to ever wear them again. i did everything i could and even sanitized them like 5 times (i know it’s excessive but it still didn’t feel like it was enough). i can make myself wear them again now but it takes a bit of (internal convincing everytime and like even if i only had them on for a few moments, i change my socks and shower afterwards everytime because i just can’t handle it otherwise.

and basically my dad doesn’t really understand my mental health because i’m not good at explaining it (when i talk about this irl i always end up in tears, no matter how hard i try to suppress that and then i end up feeling bad for crying and then i spiral), but he still noticed my discomfort with my current show situation. that’s why he wanted to buy me new shoes, and rationally speaking, i was very grateful and thought it was a good idea. but emotionally, i was very distraught from the change in routine and i knew that this store was very small and that it’s basically guaranteed that all of the shoes there have already been tried on by someone.

i know that’s technically normal and not a big deal, but it’s honestly really disgusting to me and i don’t want to try on shoes that anyone else has ever worn (and especially not if i don’t know who wore them or when or how clean those people’s feet were). i knew my dad wouldn’t understand that reasoning, so i tried to just say that i don’t like the shoe brands that store has or that i want a different type of shoe or that i don’t like the design etc etc.

and then we came across the exact type of shoe i was already wearing but in black (mine were like dark purple) and my dad was like “great, you like black and you already like the brand and that specific model!” and i obviously had no excuse anymore for why i didn’t like that one. so i just admitted my actual reasoning for saying no to that and all the others.

my dad ended up opening every shoe box and i was right that all of them (in my size) had already been tried on. i really wanted to just force myself to look past that and try one on anyway, but i just couldn’t make myself do it.

i was on the verge of a panic attack tbh (i get those a lot from this phobia), but i managed to kinda keep it in check. my dad and i ended up leaving the store but i could tell that he was really annoyed and so i apologized but that seemed to only annoy him even more.

the car ride home was at first pretty awkward, then it developed into an argument where i tried to explain my phobia but i think i only made it worse on accident bc of the emotions and then we were just kinda silent at each other for the rest, until he tried to make some small talk and i fucked up (because i can’t control the tone of my voice very well due to my autism and i was still emotionally messed up), so then he got a bit passive aggressive again.

when we arrived at home, i hid in the living room (no one really ever goes there currently) and had a bit of a meltdown. i was really spiraling- like suicidal thoughts and googling for a painless suicide method because i felt like such a pathetic disappointment and failure of a daughter and human being. eventually after like half an hour, my mom came looking for me and found me sitting there, sobbing in the corner. she asked what happened and bc i felt really ashamed i didn’t want to tell her, so i said i’d explain later.

i wasn’t really able to stop crying completely that whole rest of the day. like i got some moments where i was outwardly calm, but on the inside, i wasn’t able to really calm down at all until the next day. usually my mom is pretty understanding of my phobia but not of me crying, so i was very surprised when she completely took my side after she heard what happened from my dad’s perspective.

by the time, i had stopped “hiding” in the living room, my dad had already fully calmed down as if nothing happened, but i still felt (and still feel) really bad about it, because i know he only had good intentions and i messed it up completely. my mom told me that he had offered that i could just look up some shoes online and he’d order them for me instead of going to an in-person store for that again, but i’m not sure if that was really his idea bc it sounds more like something my mom would propose. i do like that idea, but because i’m not sure if it was actually his idea, i haven’t said anything to him about it. i just feel really bad that my parents didn’t get a normal daughter, because i feel like my mental illness makes everything harder than it has to be and they don’t deserve that, but i don’t know what to do (therapy is unfortunately not an option currently).

What are these acronyms?

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

What do you think was the immediate aftermath to the “Prank”? I actually do think Sirius was remorseful for what he did at the time(I think his attitude in PoA could be explained by how he was in Azkaban all those years, had to survive on very little, and was just not in a good place to process his past properly at the time. And he does acknowledge that he acted poorly during SWM, so I feel like with time he would realize that he could’ve handled those situations better- even if Snape could be a dick lol. At a certain point someone has to take the high road XD), but I think it still would have taken a while for Remus to forgive him or for the group to go back to the way it was. But if I’m being honest, I feel like the group never really went back to the way it was when we consider how both Remus and Sirius thought the other was a spy :/. I also think that James would have been put in a hard spot, because he’s incredibly loyal to his friends, and Sirius is(let’s face it lol) his favorite, but this “prank” could have gone very wrong in so many different ways and I feel that James may have been able to recognize more than Sirius at first.

(I also don’t understand why JKR would place SWM after “The Prank” because why on earth would James and Sirius continue to antagonize Snape to that extent when he now knows one of their best friend’s deepest and darkest secret(and there couldn’t have been anything magical keeping Snape from saying anything, seeing as he gives away the secret in Book 3)? But I digress lol(although I will say that one minor change I make for myself is imagining the Prank as happening after SWM since that makes more sense to me)

I have so many thoughts on “The Prank” mainly because while I love Sirius(and I do think his good qualities outweigh his bad ones), this situation showcases one of his biggest flaws(he can be reckless to the point where other people can/are at the risk of getting seriously hurt or worse) and I just find it really interesting to explore that and how it would have affected the Marauders and their dynamic at the time

Oooh boy do I have THOUGHTS about the Prank and SWM. I'm actually very okay with SWM happening after the Prank. It shows that James and Sirius took a LONG time to grow and were still dicks late into their fifth year. But let's get to the fun!

Immediate aftermath of the Prank:

I wholeheartedly agree that the group was never the same after the Prank. I think the Marauders were always on thin ice or precarious ground, and it was only because of James that they were all together. Sirius and James were like magnets for each other. James picked up the underdog, Remus, and Remus brought in the super underdog, Peter. That's not to say that Sirius didn't care for Remus and Peter, but everything in canon suggests that Sirius was a Prongs fangirl, not a Moony or Wormtail fangirl.

But let's get to the Prank. Snape thought something was up with Lupin. I believe Sirius thought one of two things: 1) fuck around and find out, and 2) he's not actually stupid enough to go whomping willow/werewolf hunting. There is definitely some blame on Severus for following through, but it's more on Sirius for underestimating Severus and potentially ruining Remus's life. Because it was James who pulled Severus back, Sirius probably felt more remorse than had it been someone else.

I believe that after the Prank, Remus's trust in Sirius was irrevocably changed. I think that Remus implicitly trusted Sirius before, but after the Prank, the nature of the friendship changed. I imagine that Remus didn't change much outwardly. He's a coward at heart and didn't want to rock the boat. But the thing is, Sirius isn't stupid. He almost certainly noticed a change in Remus's behavior. Remus probably went more passive-aggressive, and that laid the foundation for Sirius believing Remus to be the spy later, because of his behavior change. For Remus, it's the same thing, because of Sirius's capacity to use him for a cruel prank.

I do think that they were friends and remained friendly. James was the foundation for their friendship, and as long as James was alive and friendly with both, they would remain friends. However, with more people dying, Remus off with werewolves and Sirius doing who-knows-what, it would make sense for Sirius to think that Remus was a spy and vice versa. When Halloween '81 happened and the Potters were killed, Remus was probably shocked but not surprised. Sirius was capable of darkness.

And THIS is why I'm very okay with the Prank happening before SWM. Imagine Remus thinking the same thing during SWM - 'guys, please stop antagonizing him' - and James and Sirius continue antagonizing Severus for fun, because they're bored. This is abundant proof that Sirius still had a lot of growing up to do, as did James. Imagine Remus after the Potters die, thinking how Sirius could do this?, but then being reminded of SWM, where Sirius continued to play with his food, so to speak. Imagine Remus thinking it impossible for Sirius to turn his back on his friends, but after Peter is 'killed', and Remus was almost exposed in the Prank, that means the only person left for Sirius to betray was James. With that track record, Remus could've very well thought Sirius was the traitor.

I love Sirius as well. My man, like Remus, has layers. Their friendship in later years - post-Azkaban - was cobbled together by shared memories of James and years of trauma/betrayal by one another and Peter. At this point I imagine a friendship of convenience - they're friends because few people understand the trauma they went through, but they're never going to be BFFs the way that James and Sirius were. If Sirius is fire, James is the sunshine that fuels him, while Remus is a moldy wet log of a human being.

As always @puppyduckster you've given me tremendous food for thought and provided excellent insight on the characters we so love.

[cacaobean760]

Soo JK this is part 3 for Leander

ya I um...I kinda forgot that there is a whole nother scene if you choose to go to Leander at the very end so ya, this is part 3 of weird and sus Leander lines!!!

I must say that I feel like this also has a lot of lines that when you stop and think about it, seem pretty weird. soooo this is gonna be pretty long because I am only gonna do this one post for the end scene

First up, when we first go to Leander he acts very concerned for us

Now listen, He might genuinely be concerned for us because we had just gotten into a fight with the roughneck so I feel like this is a pretty normal reaction. But we can't forget about his agenda of getting us to trust him.

And the next line is def creepy

This next line makes this previous line seem more normal or at least, less creepy but it is still weird

Once again saying, "hey you can trust me, in fact you should only trust and rely on me". Soooo this line does make the last one seem fine just because when you first read that first line, your mind goes to "oh, is he gonna lock us in the bar" but then you read the last line and you are like "ohhhh, he is at least gonna let us go outside! So it's fine" But it is still unusual to ALWAYS keep someone in your line of sight. I also feel that these lines can be taken two ways, and maybe its both, but Leander either says this to establish more of a relationship and make him seem more concerned about us then he actually is, because as we note, we are not used to this kind of attention so I feel like Leander would know this, thus leading him to say these lines to make us like him more. But also, maybe he actually is worried about us for one reason or another??

For this next part, we mention that we are shocked that all the people we have met already know each other, and Leander says this

Ok so for all of these, we obviously don't know how much of this is actually what Leander wants out of the goodness of his heart or how much of this is him putting up a front. It could be a mixture of both or it could only be one but thats what all these theories and wondering are about. So Leander could want all of his "friends" to get together just for fun. Orrrr he could have something more devious planned for them, just saying.

I did not take a screenshots for this but something that also stood out to me is when we go to ask about the others LI's, Leander ask what WE think about them, so our first impression of them, and then he says something about them but his response is always a mix of the good and bad about the others. This is weird because Leander does this with every. single. one. of. them. But none of the other LI's do this when you ask them about what they think of the others. So why would Leander do this? is it to see if there is anyone else that we have a good relationship with?????

When you do ask about Kuras, Leander response is

I know that Leander's whole shtick is that he cares about everyone and wants to help so this line might not seem super important. But if you look at this from a different point of view, for example, reading into everything, I do think that Leander does like Kuras for treating everyone the same but it seems like....he admirers it, Like he does not do the same thing. Or at some point, he himself wont do the same thing even though, currently, it does seem like he treats everyone the same. I also feel like if Leander was as adamant as helping people and being nice to people as he wants others to think, I feel like he would be a lot more excited about Kuras doing the same. Also this is the line he said right before this line which is weird

Leander is criticizing Kuras in this line and, just like the line about him being cocky or being passive aggressive when he says "for the love of..", which I mentioned in the previous posts, when you take into consideration how he is initially portrayed, this seems out of character. I feel like his face also adds to this because he seems actually angry at Kuras??? Which I feel like someone who is actually nice and friendly to everyone would not care or would not, at least, be this upset about it. And then if we go back to the line above, Now it seems like that line is redeeming him. Like "oh ya, he does this bad thing that I don't like but he treats everyone the same so I guess it's fine." As I mentioned previously I feel like the line above would be more of a focal point if he was actually as passionate about helping people as he is first portrayed. I think the main thing about this sentence that is leading me to this conclusion is the end of it. When he says,"thats something, I suppose." Like, that just feels very lack luster, like "ya I guess it's a good thing". WHEN TREATING AND HELPING PEOPLE IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE BLOODHOUNDS. Or at least, that is their front.

When you ask Leander about his rivalry with Ais, he just brushes it off and says that he is not worried about it at all, in fact he says

We, the MC, seem very concerned about this even though no matter what background you choose, you have some sort of experience with either fighting or magic. So why are we so concerned and Leander is not, especially when you take into account that Leander did not professionally learn Magic, he did not go to the Senobium. So where is he getting so much confidence from???? Again if we refer back to my previous post, Leander seems to know about Curses even though he never went to school for them. So where is he or where did he learn all this magic and knowledge that makes him so confident, confident enough to take on Ais, A monster, When he is just a mage...Or so we think. Also if you choose the Alchemist background it is noted when we first met Leander that he is an extremely talented mage. Again, how????

Leander goes to take us to a table and it is conveniently the one that has a story, one that has relationships and trust carved into it.

With super analyzing this, this def seems like a way to leave a good impression on us. Especially when you consider the fact that it was not even open, he made the Bloodhounds move. This table show humanity and relationships and even if it seems insignificant, it's memories like this that make you rethink something and second guess yourself when you doubt or are suspicious of them.

When we do bring up this damage in the table to Leander and say that the barkeep must love that, Leander says

I also think it's his face that really pops out to me in this because he does seem like he is actually angry in this. Which again, seems weird for his character and it's also giving...entitlement??? Like you are obviously gonna be charged for damages, like wtf.

But this next line is the real kicker

We can also go back to my previous posts about Lander kinda and basically ignoring anything he does not like or agree with, like if you choose to refuse the flower. It is obvious that by now, he just does whatever he wants and is very persistent to get what he wants. We can also gather that he does not give up easily and is in it for the long run.

Also, complete side note but I have not mentioned this yet, Leanders front facing spite creeps me the fauq out. Like bro straight up looks like a psychopath. And I do like everyone elses front facing sprite, it's just his that creeps me out.

Then there is this whole set of lines

I feel like all these lines are VERY self explanatory. Its just screaming to "only trust me and to come to me if you need anything" I MEAN HE LITERALLY SAYS THIS

So I am just gonna move on because the intent of these lines are very clear

So not only did Leander choose the table that has a story behind it, it is also secluded

Which I am SUREEEEEE is not planned or what Leander was going for *wink wink*

So now that the MC and Leander are as close to alone as they can be in a bar Leander then continues to try and establish more of a relationship

He is testing the waters to see how we felt about us holding hands. When you say that you did like it or at least, it was a positive reaction, Leander wants us to get us to hold hands or touch again. When we respond with reluctance, once again, Leander tries to reassure us

and we react the exact way he wants us to

So yatt yatta, we touch him, whatever

after this interaction Leander reiterates the fact that he is here for us

And ask us if we want him to walk us back

Walking back with someone, especially to your room, implies that you trust them. So Leander already expects us to trust him. But non the less, we turn him down.

OK that is it! I am finally done and these are all the lines that stood out to me and that were def unusual. I hope you guys liked it and I wanna hear your what you guys think and your opinions! I feel like for the last few they were just adding on to what I was already saying so I did not feel the need to go into depth about them.

So Leander is a psychopath but at least he is hot so we can look past it!

[lesbianneopolitan]

Last night I innocently uploaded the pic of Neo and Ruby gaming on Twitter, but I got pretty much replied by people who were very much judgmental and passive-aggressive about being shocked, etc, etc (lots of them minors), lost some followers, etc

I am very affected by those situations because at some points it feels like harassment for something so stupid (I've seen wishes of death towards me before for old Fallen Petals stuff), no one ever takes the moment to even talk with me about it, nor try to understand the development and process that made me ship it in the first place- that it's actually a pretty innocent wish of building up a cool ship to have fun with my friends.

I have very bad anxiety from PTSD and I don't have access to meds rn, so things that get out of hand can really affect my mental and physical health, like, people don't keep in mind that the major part of the time, the people they accuse are people with problems like me, that are dealing with irl stuff or trauma and simply want to have some positive fun on the internet, to escape a bit from it all- art and writing has been a good coping mechanism for me to not practice self harm, and my therapist was actually proud of me for it, so I don't want that taken from me, specially when I'm mindful and tag things properly. And when honestly, discovering RWBY and messing around with some ships helped to make me happier. Because I think it was about time.

RubyNeo isn't even following all canon details, Ruby's more practiced and slightly older, and honest to God, I don't see what's wrong with building an AU with headcanons when we aren't doing it for the sake of, what?? only having them fuck?? or oversexualizing them?? the people that literally oversexualizes Ruby and only do lewds or only smash her against another character so they fuck is something that pushes me SO back because I personally find it disgusting (and if I'm in a mood I can have am anxiety attack for it, same for other dynamics, like incest, etc etc).

So for the love of everything, blacklist, block me or whatever, but understand the kind of person I am or the building for the things I do or the things I draw before I'm labeled as things I'm not. Because I'm sure you wouldn't want it to happen to you.

Treat me like a person, not like some kind of idealized artist that has to be perfect.

Show some empathy, try to be understanding, not everyone that ships 'x' is going to be a super evil person that did it with the most malicious intent in the world. Sometimes we're simply playing with them like they're Barbies, to create stories, angst, wholesome moments, independent timelines, etc.

Like I mentioned I myself deal with PTSD, there are so many things that despite being presented in good faith could throw me off the edge because of triggers, but I simply take care of myself and tag stuff, I blacklist and in the worst case I block, specially if someone is specially harmful and toxic to real people.

So please, just, let me be, I'm just a nerd trying to live life alongside friends to be as happy as I can because I've had enough abuse already.

Be kinder unless the person in question is GENUINELY harming real people and are potential real creeps, please, I'm tired.

[thinking-destiel-thoughts]

So I could go after a bunch of stuff that irks me in How I Met Your Mother but I wanted to post about some of the major things that bother me and see if I’m crazy or if others resonate the same.

First and most frustrating to me: STELLA. nearly everything about this irked me.

The thing with inviting Robin to the wedding…like, yeah, absolutely valid that you don’t want your future husband’s ex to be there. But why didn’t you say that when making the initial plans? Especially when you know she’s one of his 4 friends. Did you really expect him to not invite her??

The thing with inviting Tony…yes, absolutely I get not wanting him there. But Ted has no legal guardianship over Lucy. What exactly was Ted supposed to do? Take a little girl from her father against his will? That’s kidnapping. He has no legal right to take Lucy away from Tony.

Moving into an apartment in New York with Tony after making a massive point about how ridiculous it would be for her to do something like that with Ted. Like…girly…the man wouldn’t move to New Jersey for his OWN child? Ted was like “you know what, you’re right” but Tony was like “nah give up the house” and that was fine??

Going to Ted to ask him to get Tony back for her…my sister in Christ, what the fuck. What exactly did Tony expect Ted to say about the woman who LEFT HIM AT THE ALTER? Did he expect Ted to still be obsessed with her? And WHY does Stella even want Tony back if the man is willing to break up their family for a SECOND TIME bc a man who Stella hurt is not obsessed with her and thinks she’s selfish? Clearly he wanted the out. Why chase him? AND the fact that she literally only apologizes bc she needs help from him…ugh. That is messed up imo

The movies REALLY irk me. Ted is the man who YOU left at the alter and the man who GOT TONY BACK FOR YOU, but you let this man make him the villain for his movie? You not only divulge private shit that went on between you and Ted, but you also don’t stop him from putting it in a fricking movie?? I get Tony having his warped image of things, fine, but Stella really just let that all go down like that?? She just told Tony every single detail and everything she ever learned about Ted and he put it in a movie. WHY

Ted and Victoria, the second time they get together:

One of my biggest issues with this is that for some reason Ted is the one people blame for the wedding not happening??? As if 1) Victoria wasn’t a whole adult who chose to not tell Ted it was her wedding day before agreeing to meet up with him and bringing a car for them to run away together 2) Victoria’s husband-to-be ALSO ran away from the wedding. He literally also left!!

Even if Ted had brought Victoria back, there wouldn’t have been a wedding. Victoria’s dad blaming Ted and expecting him to pay is so crazy to me.

Another issue I have is with her being pissy that Ted wants her ex-fiancé out of his apartment. It’s not like the dude was normal and super chill. He had an aggressive pet that kept birthing babies and biting AND he didn’t respect boundaries. Like if the dude was just chilling and a normal roommate, I’d get it. But I don’t feel like it was unreasonable for Ted to not want him there — he agreed to let the ex stay with him and had no knowledge of the ferrets or whatever pets the guy had when he suggested it.

My last issue with Victoria is that when Ted is like “if you wanted a bigger commitment, you’d tell me, right?” and she’s like “yeah, I’d be direct.” and then continues to be passive aggressive. The man literally told her “I need you to be direct” and she wouldn’t. All of that on top of her thing about getting back together with him on her wedding day meant he shouldn’t be shocked she wants to get married…babygirl…you didn’t want to get married. You literally ran away at the first opportunity when Ted asked if you wanted to catch up

Ted and The Mother: My main issue with them is that SO quick after being ready to MOVE TO CHICAGO bc he loves Robin, he’s just all good to stay for her? Like suddenly the Robin thing is a non-issue??? Like…bruh??? That just doesn’t track for me at all.

I also take issue with him returning to Robin in the finale and the kids encouraging it. Like idk about yall but wouldn’t it be weird for your dad to admit to saying he was so in love with his best friend’s wife that he was moving but the next day fell for your mom? I feel like I’d be kinda like “okay so was mom a stand in for Robin??? is that what the point of this story was???”

Ted and Barney (Robin and the bro code): I’m pretty sure going after your best friend’s ex-wife is a violation of the bro code if going after your ex-girlfriend is. Like this is the one woman your best friend ever REALLY loved…

Plus…was it not a whole issue of Ted being unable to sleep with a woman because he thought Barney was with her first? But banging the woman Barney was married to and consistently slept with is fine?

There’s definitely more that irks me but these are the main things…anyway. for anyone who made it this far, thanks for reading my rant lol

[the-solver-system]

can I have a basic lore rundown of code & bones

GIGGLE THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG

Okay so, let's start at the manor!

B and R were both worker drones at the Elliot manor, though they were different rankings and in different sections so they basically never interacted.

B was a prototype for a new super high-tech model of drone, so she didn't have to do too many chores and was more like a show animal.

R was an older model of worker drone, so she had to do all the basic chores and stuff. Though she struggled due to being a trash drone Tessa found, and her being an older model.

R also eventually got the solver, though it was before V did.

Basically the whole manor thing we see in episode 5 plays out the same except R also has to be fought off.

and then more recently

Cantor was raised by Alice, but he eventually grew fed up and fled. They broke into outpost 3 (I finally learnt the name of it!!) and managed to go unnoticed. They chopped their hair, and tried integrating with the other drones. They went to school, though they weren't liked by most of the classmates. That is, except for Uzi. Cantor and Uzi got along great and often hanged out.

Though eventually, Cantor got an idea. They told Uzi they were sneaking out, took one of the key things, and left. It didn't take long for a murder drone to try and attack them, though they got away. Not without getting an idea though.

Cantor cut off both of their legs, and half of one of their arms. They used old disassembly drone and worker drone bodies to make their body resemble that of a disassembly drone. They also used oil to dye their hair from white to black. AND!! They added two more voice boxes to themselves!

Eventually, they found a disassembly drone that caught their eye. Most disassembly drones had monotone hair, but this one had a very eye catching brown color. It interested Cantor, and they decided to attempt to revive the drone.

It took a LONG time, but eventually they were successful. The drone awakened, and after being told what happened, introduced herself as Serial Designation B.

She invited Cantor to join her squad, but they were hesitant. They confessed to B they were a worker drone, but B.. surprisingly didn't kill them. Since Cantor gave B an upgrade so she didn't need to kill the worker drones, she really didn't see the point. She wasn't all that loyal to the company.

Eventually B led Cantor to her old squad, consisting of Serial Designation U and Serial Designation I. The two warmly welcomed Cantor and were thankful B was alive, even if she now looked different.

Cantor wanted to try again. Try to bring another drone back to life. So they scavenged parts, and eventually found a disassembly drone body and a worker drone body they wanted to bring back. But, they decided to fuse the two together. After also adding in their own code to make sure the drone functioned, the drone awakened. Cantor gave them the name Cryp, and everything was fine and dandy.

Though not for long.

Something happened to Cantor, they changed. Sometimes they would be more reserved and aggressive, to the point sometimes they would attack B. A drone they saw as their sibling. One time they attacked Cryp, and Cryp died. Fatal Errored.

Cantor was distraught and tried and tried to get them back. They had brought drones from the dead before, surely, SURELY, they can do it again... right?

but no matter what they tried, Cryp wouldn't power back on.

B and Cantor drifted apart, to the point they were passive aggressive and sometimes spiteful to each other.

Though one day when Cantor went exploring, they found R. a drone trembling, desperately trying to fly but their wings refused to budge. Their tail was ripped off, and they were sobbing.

Cantor helped R, and she told him about her old squad. Consisting of V, N, and J. She was forgotten, not in any company records and her name not remembered by any of them. She was just a shield to them, since she was able to regenerate from any amount of injury incredibly quickly and felt no physical pain.

Cantor gave R a new tail, but couldn't do anything for her wings. He invited R to join their squad and she accepted.

R noticed how distant B and Cantor were, and tried to get them to get along. They refused, but R kept pushing. She was normally quiet but she saw how much these two were hurting and just wanted to help.

Eventually, she witnessed Cantor's solver form beating down on B. Telling her that Cryp's death was all her fault, forcing her to stare at what was once Cryp.

R decided that was enough, and tackled Cantor.

Cantor snapped out of it, and was out of the solver mode.

It took a long time but eventually B and Cantor talked it through, and tried to figure out ways to keep the solver away.

They decided to leave the squad, both because they didn't want U and I to get hurt, but also because they two didn't want to stop killing worker drones. B and Cantor tried to get R to stay behind as well but R refused, so they left (and brought Cryp along as well).

Eventually they found an abandoned pod to hunker down in and stayed there. Cantor set up a lab in a hidden basement under the pod, and everything seemed okay.

Then episode 8 happens.

yeaahh idk how to explain that, lets just say they were confused as hell somewhere else and just trying to survive.

After, Cantor decides to drag B and R back to Outpost 3 to check on everyone else. Surprisingly, they're let in. Cantor is confused but grateful, and heads to Uzi's house.

He knocks, and Uzi opens the door. She doesn't know who he is at first until she hears their voice.

"Hey Uzi, wanna hang out?"

She just starts absolutely sobbing, and tackles Cantor into a hug, she lets Cantor and his friends inside and they all catch up.

I could get into the rest of it but this is already really long, though if y'all want more I'd be happy to deliver!!!