#one time someone drew fanart of a fanfic I wrote and in that moment I transcended stimming. I think I just lay down on the floor for a while

[reactionimagesdaily]

[generalluxun]

Fanfic Author 20 Questions

Thanks to @erisluna35 for sending this along! 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

On AO3? Right now 63, soon to be 64(tomorrow probably) and a couple on FF.net

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,020,860 on AO3 plus another ~86K fic I never ported over to AO3, as my 'recent' stuff, starting back in 2021

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Miraculous Ladybug, I did others a long time ago before joining AO3, but that was a long time ago. I've considered a couple others recently too, but nothing yet.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

At The Gala- A Chlonette fic inspired by fanart, and actually the sequel to my #2 by Kudos. This is just a cute series of strange interactions with Chloe from Marinette's PoV, culminating in understanding and discovery on a fated evening.

Slippery slope- Little Chlonette ficlet inspired by a fanart. Very short, it's about how a single unexpected moment can change someone's entire world.

Ever After- A long chapter fic set more than a decade post-canon that looks into the idea that 'Ever After' can be a long time, and that expecting life to be solved at 14 is a recipe for eventual disaster. Yet at the same time life continues to offer new experiences, new possibilities, and new ways to grow. Ships include Adrienette, Chloadrien, and Felinette.

Showing Love- An alternate ending to Queen Wasp, where instead of reuniting Chloé with her horrible mother by highlighting everything horrible about her (seriously, what?) Marinette comes face to face with the reality that a mother really *can* not love a child. Being Marinette she can't let such a thing stand, even if it is Chloé. Marinette&Dupain-Cheng family goodness.

What Do you See?- Adrigami fic that kicks off right in the middle of Kuro Neko. While Adrien is struggling with the pain of giving up Cat Noir, one thing crosses his mind. He can finally give one important person the truth she deserves. After all, he *Was* Cat Noir, not *is*. The two both struggle to navigate the ramifications of this revelation, especially when Plagg shows up once more with the ring. (there's a little bit of eventual Lukanette)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to most, especially any questions or curiosities. I love engagement.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh heck this is so not fair. I am in love with bittersweet ending, and have a couple of doozies.

I can't decide between three.

What Happened- The 'real reason' Chloé Bourgeois's redemption arc failed. What do you di when you do everything right, only to find out your happiness causes the end of the world, in every timeline?

A Modest Proposal- Marinette is happily impatient for Adrien to finally propose to her. Little does she know, a secret long kept is going to come back to haunt her. It's worse than you think.

The Risk Outweighs- A look into someone else's life during the episode 'Risk'. The courage to do anything finally gives Chloé the strength to break from the cycle. But the Ladybugs must set things right, and a few moments of clarity weigh nothing against a lifetime.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, lots with happy endings, though I prefer 'open' endings, so...hmmm

Cafe Noir- has an unambiguously happy ending, but I specifically set out to write a romcom so that feels like cheating.

Dog Daze- probably has the most comprehensively happy ending, Adrien's dad even managed to try to parent. They do go through a lot on the way to the happy ending though.

In Direct Opposition- My latest work, seems to end on a solidly happy note for all involved.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ever After drew some upset people that expected their OTP to be the main ship. I never tried to deceive anyone, but a few people were just really upset.

I also had this weird thing where someone thought I was someone else, and stalked my comments for a while. That's why I use moderation now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've done M rated fics. I'm not sure 'smut' works for them, even if there's lots of sex narratively, it's usually mentioned rather than being detailed. I did one single 'this will be a smut fic' fic. And even that ended up with like, 5K words mostly plot, and about 2 paragraphs of (I think emotional and important) sex.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nah, I've never had the crossover itch. I generally find each world intriguing enough on their own.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! I had someone ask if they could translate one of my fics to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Talked about it before, but never went through with it. Not against the idea. I do a lot of rubber ducking for my friends though, so some of my ideas can end up in their finished fics.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm going ot have to go with adribrina, my goobers. I like exploring all kinds of ships, and these two I threw together on a whim but Oh, they're so comfy! I wrote Puppy Love to see how they would work, and then that evolved into Dog Daze, my Largest work to date. I had *intended* for them to amicably break up and Sabrina to be a wing-woman to Adrien in the canon ship of Adrienette.... but they just did not want to break up. Even if they wouldn't admit they were dating, they were just too *comfy* together. These two make me happy. (Marinette ended up okay though, she's happy!)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

A third fic in my Senti-Sentai AU. 'Worlds Collide'. It was set in 'vague eastern Europe country in the middle of violent conflict' and then that suddenly got too real, too quickly.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voice. I write third person limited, and I've been told many times that I do a very good job of writing characters as their canonical selves, just in different situations that bring about different outcomes or changes in them. I consider that a high compliment, because the characters are what I am here for.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Brevity. Even simplistic plots 'enemies to friends road trip' become detailed 'Marinette manipulates Chloé into chasing Adien and Lila across the globe to prevent Lila from wheedling an arranged Marriage out of Gabriel' and then that blossoms into a 98K fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I feel like my last of understanding grammar and colloquialisms for another language would have me sounding like bad google translate. Singular words used? Viable.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

SWATKats. My first ever fanfic was a 30K fic about that show.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

They are all my babies! This is so not fair. I've spoken about some of my favorites earlier though, so I'll use this spot to mention some other ones :)

He's Perfect- Gothic Horror Adrienette! It even has a sequel and an entire AU in my head if I can circle back.

The Orphan and the Marionette- Written to feel like one of Grimm's fairy tales. Chlonette(kind of) with a heavy dose of magic and a surprise appearance from Marianne.

There are so many more but I'll plug Dog Daze again, because I to like how it flows and the alternate S5 we get from it. It also inspired a raft of 'post story' one shots, and I have another chapter fic waiting in the wings to continue the AU. There's plenty of stories to tell here.

@taketwoinink Tag, if you would like to play.

[lexa-griffins]

It's always bothered me that I see people saying "always reblog" on gifsets or drawings but ignoring someone who just created a brand-new piece.

The same goes for writing. I see people say I just re-read this for the 4th time but won't take the time to read something someone recently wrote. People are actively killing fandoms while saying I don't understand why nobody posts anymore.

While I 100% get there being fics/art/gifsets that are iconic in certain fandoms but the truth is that people will not allow the space for anything new to be made recognized.

One of the things I have realized that happens a lot now is people just don't go to the tags. They don't. They wait for the people on their dash to reblog stuff. And what does that usually mean? That in fandoms with a few blogs everyone follows, those blogs basically dictate what makes it big or not in the fandom because it'll only be reblogged and shared if they reblog it. Now, I am by no means saying bigger blogs need to reblog anything they don't want just for the sake of it. What I mean is people don't go look for any fanart and fanfic that is newly released and even if they do, they will a lot of times wait for it to be "approved" by the bigger blogs before reblogging it.

You can also see this when it comes to fic recommendations. Its always the same 20 fics being recommended, usually all from the height of the fandom and the newer ones are always from the most popular blogs. People seem scared to read new stuff and give new authors a chance. Because they want new fics but they want new fics from a very specific group of people.

And then! Then it's the people who don't reblog, don't comment, don't say anything that will go "update?".

And I am going to be really honest here: if its fanart/fanfic you enjoy and that was just posted with little notes and your queue is months long..... just add it to the queue but still reblog it right away anyways. Especially if you dont plan on adding any tags/commentary. Just reblog it that moment. The fact I've had people ask me directly for fanart and then just leave a like without me knowing if its in the queue or they just decided their need to look at what I drew for them is done and no need for further action.

People have been asking you guys to reblog stuff. That not doing so is killing people's desire to share their art because things go forgotten 3 hours after its posted, if that long. Ficlets, doodles, all of those deserve to be shared. If you only reblog things that have been "approved" and fully polished or they aren't worth you sharing them, then you are co tributing to killing fandoms, you're telling the new writer and the new fanartist in the fandom "come back to me when you are a pro and maybe I'll consider you worth a reblog."

Go to the tags, and go look for fics without recommendations. Reblog traditional art and doodles. Im not saying reblog things you straight up dont enjoy. But while fandom is a personalized experience, dont let it be come to a point only what is considered worthy of being seen comes across your dash. Because you'll miss art and fics and gifsets and meta posts that you might enjoy that the people you follow simply didn't.

[kuivamustekala]

okay okay one more then I'll stop this might b an Odd One but I hope u can have fun with it sjjfjd

silver the hedgehog!!

THATS MY ORIGINAL BLORBO THATS MY LIL GUY this is not even an odd one lmao you have n o idea how much ive thought of this guy lets go

First impression: well... my friend basically kin assigned this wild haired hedgehog to me idk who he is but the design is?? kinda neat?? i guess i'll go with it

Impression now: son boy. Wrote my first ever fanfics about him (I don't count the knockoff warrior cats oc stories as fanfics bc that was several layers removed from the insp material). Drew so very much fanart of him. Got introduced to the whole fuckin concept of fandom bc of him. Some of the first tumblr blogs I ever followed were ones I followed bc they posted fun hcs and fics of him. There's a telekinetic-hedgehog-from-the-future -shaped impression in my heart forever and ever.

Favourite moment: HE HAS HAD SO FEW CANON MOMENTS OUTSIDE OF THE COMICS THAT I NEVER MANAGED TO READ PROPER IT MAKES ME SAD and the only game he was in proper was a fucking mess but even then I have several moments I had to pick between but in the end, it's the moment where he's trying to contain Iblis himself and refuses to let Blaze do it. And then eventually he relents but it was that specific bit of the moment that I first wrote many pages of analyses about in my notebooks and then kept referencing in my fanfics. I willn't get into the details of why this moment specifically burned (hah) itself into my mind so but that's gotta be the one I pick as my fav

Idea for a story: that one fanfic I never got to write where Silver, having again returned to the present for some reason, gets overwhelmed with how much Sonic and the gang can be and floats himself out to the sea (with telekinesis) and then plops down to float (more literally) in the water, and the stars in the night sky get reflected in the water, and he has an "oh fuck existing can actually be really beautiful" moment. I thought it so many times but never wrote it. Maybe I should tho

Unpopular opinion: okay so I'm working off of fics and headcanons from years ago but I often felt like people kept writing him a little too much like a soft boy. Bc don't get me wrong he definitely has that side to him but I think he should be kind of emotionally volatile in all directions. Not sensitive as in gets sad easily but sensitive as in he feels very strongly about many things and can also get very angry very quick, and laughs at things easily, and just overall feels everything More. (kid me expressing frustration over how I was constantly seen as overemotional and wanted to feel validated in it? partially yes. but also it's just true. sources: trust me bro)

Favourite relationship: genuinely I think him and Shadow would go real well together. Not rly otp wise but just... they're both from different times and they're both extremely good at angsting (said so very affectionately) but in pretty different ways and I just think they could balance each other out pretty neatly there. Silver could teach Shadow how to find joy in small things even when the world is collapsing on you (sometimes literally so) and Shadow in turn could teach him how to strategically make an escape to cool down to cope with some real fucko moments. I could go on tehee but this post is already growing stupidly long

Favourite headcanon: this one, unlike all the other answers so far, is actually directly yoinked from someone else - the headcanon that he's got a lot of scars, mostly hidden under his fur. Look, I read a drabble about it when I was like 14 and it probably fundamentally changed me as a person in some way

[dailyrov]

Well, life’s been stressful, et cetera and so on. Welcome to 2021, which will hopefully be better than 2020, but boy-oh-boy is the bar low.

I was minding my own business today when some kind person dropped a comment on one of my ‘fics (If It Takes a Lifetime). I replied to them and then read through my other replies, relived the story a bit...you know, Something Fanfic Authors Do. I was reminded of something I wanted to post here for a while, but struggled to put into concise wording: my relationship to the series.

My first foray into The Rose of Versailles was in 2008, all thanks to a certain @kippielovesyou who baited me into watching the anime because she claimed the main couple had some things in common with a pairing I was super into at the time. I got hooked. I marathoned the anime and went to work after episode 39 without having gotten any sleep at all. Shift start was at 6:30am. The assembly line started moving. One of my coworkers nudged me. “Hey,” they said. “Did something bad happen? You look miserable.”

I wasn’t miserable so much as emotionally drained. “Just tired,” I said, and focused on my work for the next 8.5 hours. I wasn’t about to tell them that my favorite characters in a television show just died. 

I went home and watched the 40th episode. I felt weird afterward. Still drained. Almost...empty.

Not angry. Not betrayed. Just...this really strange sort of blankness that I had rarely felt upon reaching the ending of anything. I recalled a similar feeling at the end of the 1989 film Glory, but no other piece of media could come close to touching it. I would almost call it peace, though the unsettling kind. I’m not supposed to feel peaceful about a tragic ending, right?

But I was hooked. 

I downloaded the entire series on a torrent, something I hadn’t done before OR SINCE. I burned it to discs and mailed them to Wisconsin so that my oldest internet friend (now husband) could watch it. He cried at the end. I forced my sister to sit down with me to watch the whole thing. She cried, too. I wrote fanfiction. I drew fanart (it was bad, don’t @ me). I screamed about it to countless friends on Livejournal. I recommended the series to everyone I knew and a lot of those people joined me in writing fanfiction.

What a time to be in fandom!! We flooded the fandom with regular English fanfic for the first time ever. The fandom was hopping. I met two amazing women (Kasia and Loulou) who spoiled me rotten for fanfiction reviews for the rest of my life. I bought the French manga and read the entire thing. I fell in love with one specific page (you get one guess as to which that is lol). I distinctly remember crying twice while reading the manga in a language I could only stumble through: first when Andre tried to count the stairs in the house, miscounted, and tripped, and secondly when Oscar threw herself onto her mother’s lap crying that she was a human being with feelings.

I still get emotional thinking about these scenes, particularly the latter one. The Rose of Versailles got me through so much. I honestly don’t know where I would be, or who I would be, without it. There is no way Kippie could have known that I would need RoV. For her, it was as simple as, “I enjoyed it, and I think you would, too. Because shipping.” And yeah, I’m a shipper who did enjoy it for that, but it became SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT TO ME.

I don’t want to spit the whole long tale out here, but shortly after I obsessed over RoV, I had my own identity crisis. It was a tough time for me, but it also cemented my future as an essayist who focuses primarily on the literary device known as Identity. When I went to college in 2012 that was my focus in literature, and nearly every essay I wrote I chose to explore it in some fashion. Identity. What makes a character, what shapes them, what changes or moves or motivates them. RoV motivated that love for Identity and my essays motivated the English Department chair to give me a selective scholarship (that they chose, it was never applied for). The reasoning they cited to me was that I had shown a rare passion for literature and the characters within. For the first time in my life I felt validated in my obsession with Identity.

I was in my early 20s when I first saw The Rose of Versailles, and something about the character of Oscar spoke to me, but I couldn’t quite name it. I felt that I understood her, and not just for being a woman working in a man’s field. There was something else. But what? I couldn’t figure it out. 

A few years later I started seeing an uptick in romantic and sexual identities online. Demisexual. Asexual. Aromantic. Greyace. Something clicked—for me, personally, as well as my understanding of the characters. And years later, Tumblr flooded with information about ADHD presenting in women, and autism in ladies. And my brain went, OH!!!! OH!!! OH I SEE!!

I know a lot of people love Oscar for their own reason, and I think that’s probably one of my favorite things about the series: that the main character is almost universally loved by everyone, and that she receives this love no matter how the individual fans choose to view her.

Something specifically that bothered me many years ago was a certain persistent disdain for Oscar not returning André’s feelings earlier. She was blind, she was stupid, she was mean, and the worst of all: she was Bad for these reasons.

My God, when I tell you now that the scene of Oscar falling onto her mother’s lap in tears over being treated like a doll made me cry, I know why. I spent years of my life wondering why I was born the way I was. I agonized over it. I didn’t want to be “normal.” I was happy being me. But nobody else was. My sister once accused me of not having feelings. I think of that moment every time I see Oscar struggling in RoV. She’s a private person who struggles privately, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel things. And there Oscar was in the manga, having lived her life the best way she knew how, only to have her father pull the rug out from under her without deigning to even explain himself to her. Suddenly, she was not allowed to have an identity of her own. Suddenly, she was not good enough as she was.

Do you know what marriage would do to someone like Oscar, particularly at that point in her life? It would kill her. How terrifying a fate to face, no control over her own life, or feelings, or even her own body.

There’s an important scene in the manga and anime where André considers that Oscar appears “as cold as ice” to others, but personally recognizes the fire of her passionate heart and finds that endearing about her... I always felt that he liked that about her because it was a side of her only he understood, only he recognized for what it was. Like she trusted that part of her in his presence and knowing this helped that love grow. I still think that’s true.

But beyond that, I think André is on the ace spectrum himself, and understands better than anyone how Oscar’s feelings work. (There’s so much more to it than that, but I’ll leave it there for now...)

The part of the fandom that felt Oscar was selfish or uncaring for not loving André back sooner...miss the point, I think, of her character, and of the romance of the series. It’s not that Oscar is unfeeling. It’s not that she can’t love André. It’s not even that she’s choosing not to love him. In my opinion, it’s that she’s ace and the way she shows her love and care is not only different than a person might expect it to be, but also difficult to express—though whether this is due to her upbringing or her romantic identity (or both!) is up to interpretation.

More importantly, she does not owe him herself.

(And, I think beyond all this, usually people who feel this way really adore André, and while that’s great, I think they’re ignoring a key component of his character, which is: he loves Oscar and never even once so much as suggests that she owes him anything.)

Anyway, that was a long post to say: I view Oscar as ace and ADHD and I wish I could go back to 2008 me and tell myself about both of these things, because it would have saved me a lot of worry and heartache all those years ago. But it’s okay, anyway, because I still felt that connection to Oscar, even without the specific words, and I knew André loved Oscar anyway, even though he knew she was different.

If you’re reading this now, in 2021 or later, I hope you’ve been able to find a similar connection to one or several of the RoV characters. It’s not often we get to see slices of ourselves in the media, written in a sympathetic and loving way. Having that made all the difference to me when I needed it the most. ♥ And I hope it’s had a positive impact on your life, too.

[gwens-projects]

Day 19 - Theme Memories

So I’ve been around this fandom for a long time, not as long as some people, but since TPOM was still kicking out episodes. Today I’m going to talk about some of the memories I’ve made through this fandom.

Under a read more because this is going to be long.

I remember first when I was really small getting to watch Madagascar when it first came out. It was very blurry and pixilated because it was on one of those cam copy discs that my dad had brought home. It was fun, I liked it, but didn’t think anything about it really. The same happened with Madagascar 2 a few years later, and then after that I got my first exposure to TPOM when dad had a disc with the When I was a Penguin Zombie ep collection on it. I’m pretty sure I watched that disc on repeat for weeks in the car, I loved it but had no idea there were like actually other eps I could watch anywhere else.

Years after that, somehow I managed to catch the Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole on TV actually in the midst of all the singing, we almost turned the channel but I was amazed that there were more eps than what I had seen before and we watched what was left of the episode.

I’ve never been someone who easily makes friends. I’m very quiet, nervous, and rather weird. 8th grade I made my first decent friends, and then at the end of the school year both transferred away to different schools. I was about...15 maybe? and I was crushed. I had never really noticed how lonely I really was until then, and so I started watching some shows on youtube I remembered I liked but never got to watch every ep of...Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, the Smurfs....I was looking for something Smurf related online when I accidentally discovered fanfiction, specifically Smurfs fanfiction that I thought was actually like a canon Smurfs book. This led me to exploring fanfiction a little more and then I accidentally come across some TPOM oneshot (written in Spanish that my computer translated) about Private? It reminded me that oh yeah the penguins was a show I liked as a kid, so I looked it up and started binging those eps. 

Watching those eps, I honestly felt the least alone I had felt all summer. Private was my first comfort character and at the time I found him super relatable. I also started reading a few TPOM fanfics. Season 3 still had episodes coming out and so that was pretty exciting. That August I started writing my first fanfic, A Trixy Situation, and drew my first fanarts. I also consequently made my first OC.

I look back at that first fanfic and the reviews I got and all I can think is “People thought this was good?” But at the same time, if it wasn’t for those kind comments back then, I wouldn’t be the writer I am now. A Trixy Situation wasn’t just my first fanfic, it was the first piece of written fiction I ever wrote and FINISHED. People’s kind comments spurred me to write and for the first time I really felt like I was writing for a purpose AND having fun with it. I was over the moon.

Granted, I did get my first critiquing review a few fics later, and as much as I cried over it...I will admit, it made me a much better writer. I still wish they had phrased it differently though.

Through fanfiction as well I made my first fandom friends. One of which I still keep in contact with even now 7 years later. She became my first best friend that I could truly say was my best friend and I wouldn’t have made her except through this fandom.

When I transferred schools from private to public in 10th grade, TPOM eps and writing TPOM fanfiction got me through it. It was...a rough 3 years of my life. I had 0 offline friends, but I had that one very good online friend who I would sneak chats to through a google doc during lunch and class breaks.

I remember when AHKJ came out and I’d have to stay off of tumblr because tumblr mobile wouldn’t let me tag and block spoilers and GEE WERE THERE SO MANY SPOILERS POSTED. 

January 2016 I gave roleplaying a try and made a slew of Private_Private_Penguin rp accounts across multiple platforms. I made a few connections and associates then, but none really stuck. However, I had a lot of fun rping as Private until the rp community more or less went silent.

Junior and senior year of high school and the first couple years of college, I was too busy and stressed to think of TPOM much. Then I noticed a new up-springing in TPOM rpers again. I watched a few eps and this time around realized that I really, really related to Kowalski now....Far more than I ever related to Private in the past. Granted, in the past I was kind of driven away from Kowalski because the fandom was so...well, let’s just say there were a lot of rapid Kowalski fangirls where it made me nervous to even approach the character. Private didn’t have as many fans so he was calmer to have as a favorite. But modernly, the Kowalski hype had died down and I finally felt at ease finding him as a comfort....I also think the age old “disliking a character until you realize there’s a lot of yourself in that character and that’s why you dislike them” theory applied to that as well...because he and I do have a lot in common, personality wise.

Anyway, through the new round of rping as Kowalski, I made some new fandom friends and through them was exposed to new fandoms and experienced a new love for the series as a whole. I also was introduced to new ship ideas and got new headcanons....And then I got back into writing fanfiction. My friend who rps as Blowhole, they got me into the Franski ship...Our rping was a slow burn enemies to friends to Kowalski muse having a crush on Blowhole. It’s a fun thing to look back at the old rps like “oh Kowalski started liking this ship before I did.”

After I got back into fanfic writing, I made yet another friend who IMed me about my writing and since then I’ve been co-writing with her on her fic. I also discovered a discord group where I ran into several fanguins who I recognized were around the fandom back when eps were coming out as well and I just sort of felt...at home? It’s the best way I can describe it. It was new but familiar all at the same time. Did we all share the same ships and headcanons? Heck no, but with such a vague canon that’s understandable and completely fine. It’s interesting seeing the different ideas and such and the joint enthusiasm we all have for this franchise.

I’ve recently started watching A Little Wild...Admittedly, I’m struggling with it but for its target audience, it would be a great intro into the franchise, honestly.  

I have so many memories from this franchise and its fandom, some bad, but mostly good. And now I just will take this moment to thank both the franchise and the fandom for the memories and comfort its given me through the years. 

[translightyagami]

28, 31, 50 for the ask game please :)

This is for the fanfic ask meme i reblogged last night

If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Well! I’ve gotten fanart of my fics several times, all of which have been SO COOL bc, like, oh my god the thing in my brain is now a visible representation someone else drew. I really love when people draw what they think Cryptid L from the cryptid AU looks like, just because everyone has totally different ideas and I’m fascinated by it. But, also, I personally wish I could see more of the, like, small romantic moments from fics I’ve written drawn out, like the scene where L puts his shoes on Light’s feet in “in your shoes,” or maybe the part in “The Light of the Moon” where Light watches vampire L drink someone’s blood. Tbh, I adore every piece of art someone draws of my fics, so rlly I just like whatever fanart ppl draw (altho if ppl want to maybe draw more of the, how do you say, explicit scenes from my fics … my inbox and heart are open 👀✉💖).

What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I treasure pretty much every nice comment I get, but the ones that really stick are people who have told me my trans fic made them feel good abt being trans, or offered a trans portrayal that affected them deeply. While I write fanfic mostly bc I love writing and being silly, I also take a lot of pride in being able to present tran-ness in a way that I like and knowing that presentation buoys other people as well is just the best.

Also, not about my writing, but one time someone told me my Death Note posts remind them of Chris Fleming lol I felt very funny and hot then.

How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

When I was in middle school, I wrote Teen Titans fanfiction but I “published” it by printing out each chapter and giving them to my friend to read. I found fanfiction dot net pretty soon after that, and read a bunch of TT fics (some of which I should NOT have been reading, lmao) before I got into Death Note, which was the first fandom I published online fanfic for. (And yes, my old ff dot net account is still up with all my fics, which are fully cringe and yet I can��t bring myself to take them down. It’s a little piece of James history! Actually, some of y’all have probably read at least one … but idk if you’d know it was my stuff.)

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Colton/Kauri Fanfiction #1

@shameless-whumper and I ended up basically accidentally creating a challenge in which I promised to reward anyone who drew a specific, amazing fanart idea I was sent in an ask with a fake fanfiction drabble that featured the Colton/Kauri pairing.

You guys took me up on it.

Holy shit did you ever.

I am currently sitting at I believe four fanfic drabbles owed with at least one more soon to be claimed, I think. 

I’ve finished the first, and it’s below the cut. I give you... @haro-whumps‘s request for “Colton touches Kauri’s hair”:

Tagging: @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @lump-of-whump, @whimpers-and-whumpers

(Colton is of course @shameless-whumper‘s and this drabble comes with express permission and no small amount of glee)

The fog was deep and my voice was inside and it told me a secret by NotAHowenShipper Youtube Videos - The Host

No Archive Warnings Apply, Colton/Kauri, On the Run, Forbidden Love, All They Do Is Kiss (This Time), I wrote this instead of sleeping, should I write another one where they do more, maybe if I get enough comments lol, omg can you even imagine the Host’s face, Owen Grant is a dick, wouldn’t it be so funny if Vincent Shield saw this

Kauri and Colton are on the run after leaving the Host and Owen Grant. They’re alone in the city with no one to turn to but each other. A cold night in a dark alley changes everything.

I love comments and kudos, you guys!!! Let me know if I should write a chapter two or something that gets a little ~spicier~, if you get my drift! LOL these two were so cute in the Better Box Boy video, I hope we see them again. They are TOTALLY made for each other, right????

This was written after like six Redbulls and at 3 AM so don’t judge!!!

The alley is already dark, the shadows of the buildings on either side closing in over their heads. The footsteps pound past, a flash of darker shadow in the yellow late-afternoon winter sunlight. 

Colton’s black hoodie blends in, the hood pulled up to hide as much of his face as possible, and he presses Kauri against the crumbling brick wall behind him to hide the younger man, in his thin white T-shirt, from the handlers pursuing them. He has a hand against the wall on either side of Kauri, boxing him in, his mouth very nearly pressed against Kauri’s ear. “Just be quiet and they won’t see us,” He murmurs, and thinks that Kauri’s ear feels cold where his lips just barely brush along the shell.

Kauri was already shivering long before they made it into the alley, but here out of the weak sunlight the temperature drops even more, and he can hear Kauri’s soft breathing starting to get shallow and panicked. 

Or maybe he’s breathing faster because of something else.

“It’s okay,” Colton says softly, low voice pitched deep enough not to carry. Black curls gently graze against his forehead, his cheek, and Kauri is biting his lower lip, his eyes staring to the side, towards the entrance of the alley. “It’s gonna be okay, Kauri, I promise, just wait until they’re gone.”

He can still hear them shouting to each other, trying to find them, and while Kauri nods, Colton chances a direct look and finds his blue eyes are wide, white-rimmed, and frightened. 

He can’t stand it; hates the way Kauri looks so scared, even days after running out of the Host’s house. They could be picked up any second, the moment a sleeve rides up enough to show the barcodes and numbers tattooed into their wrists, the second their jittery nervousness is read for what it is by strangers on the street.

Pets on the run, to be rounded up and returned to Owen Grant and the Host - probably sent back to the Facility to be refurbished and sold off like virus-riddled computers. He doesn’t even know why he decided to run when he did. Owen and the Host had been in another room, and he’d just grabbed Kauri’s arm and said, come with me.

The real question was why Kauri had so quickly gone with him.

No argument, no fight. Kauri had only whispered, yes, flashed him a slight, shy smile, and run right after him out the door. The Host and Owen hadn’t even noticed until they were most of the way down the block, and he’d heard them shouting as a distant sound that seemed barely human. 

But barely human is what they are, and the only way to stay together now is to never stop moving. They’re hungry - Colton’s been panhandling, making enough to get by but not really enough to live on, even as homeless ex-pet runaways. Kauri’s too distinctive, his looks are too much like Vincent Shield, and so he mostly stays back in shadows while Colton, who looks like no one in particular or at least no one famous, does his best to keep them fed. 

They’re hungry, and hunted, and running out of time to figure out another plan. He doesn’t even really know where he is, or why he ran, or what he expects to happen next. The weirdest part is that it doesn’t even matter.

All that matters is who came with him.

Kauri shivers again, and he’s close enough to feel it. Colton lifts a hand to his face, and Kauri’s breathing calms, a little, at the touch. Colton swallows against the urge to keep this up, to never stop doing whatever it took to make Kauri feel just a little safer. 

“Hey, are you shaking ‘cause you’re scared, or is this just because of the cold?” His heart is pounding but it feels like it’s less from fear than it was before, now some other feeling creeping its way in. 

It’s something he doesn’t want to think about, or to talk about, but it’s still been between them from the moment he’d seen Kauri from behind the camera.

“Can-... do I get to say both?” Kauri whispers, and the two of them laugh, airy and breathless and barely sounds at all. “They almost got us that time, Colton.”

“It doesn’t matter. We got away again. We’ll always get away, I promise, I’ll make sure you always get away.”

Kauri turns his head a little, and they’re barely an inch apart, now. “I don’t want me to always get away, Colton,” Kauri says, and there’s a hitch to his voice. “I want both of us to always get away... together.”

The air is warmer between them than the cold around them, and this time when he feels Kauri shiver, Colton pushes closer to him instead of pulling back. He unzips his sweatshirt - they’d dropped the branded Host’s merchandise as fast as they could, taking a sweatshirt right off the hanger at a convenience store and putting the Host’s sweater in its place - and slides it off his shoulders.

Colton wonders why it is that this is the person he wanted so badly to protect that he’d lose everything - and risk even more - just to end up here. Some sweet guy he’d only barely met, barely spoken to… but here they were.

Together, half-starved and freezing in a dirty alley, and Colton is taking off the only warm clothing he has to slide it over the shoulders of the younger man looking up at him with wide, blue eyes, his face slightly scrunched up with confusion. 

“Colton, no,” Kauri says softly, but he pulls the sweatshirt tighter around himself, and Colton swallows against an unfamiliar feeling (but no, it’s not unfamiliar at all) of wanting to see Kauri wearing his clothes - all of them, not just his sweatshirt - one day. “You’ll get cold.”

“You’re already cold,” Colton says softly, and his smile is slight and maybe a little sharp, but softer than it ever was for the Host. And Kauri’s returning smile had none of the nervous fear of every time Colton had seen him look towards Owen Grant when Colton had stood behind the camera.

“I don’t want us to trade off being cold,” Kauri says, and his hands are a little shaky when he reaches out, twisting fingers into the fabric of the thick long-sleeved shirt Colton was wearing under the hoodie. When he pulls Colton forward, he moves easily enough, until they’re touching and Colton can feel Kauri’s heart beating as hard and fast as his own. Kauri shifts, pulling the sides of the hoodie around so they wrapped around behind Colton, too, and Kauri’s shiver was still there but it had changed, too. “We could be warm together, instead.”

Colton’s forehead drops forward, to rest against Kauri’s, breathing a little harder. “We don’t even know who we are,” He whispers, and there’s real pain in that confession. He doesn’t know why he’d signed up for the pet program, what he’d done in his past that was so bad he had given up everything.

But he’s found something else in the process.

“I could be a murderer. I could be something terrible, and you don’t even know.” Even as he speaks the words, Colton’s hands move up to cup Kauri’s face, the cold cheeks against his warm palms. He moved his fingers up into Kauri’s hair, into wild black curls that had gone tangled with days on the run, a little dirty, but still they feel impossibly soft to him. 

Kauri melts into the touch, leaning his head back slightly, and he’s so close. He’s so, so close. 

“I could be a murderer, too,” Kauri whispers, and Colton can’t stop the huff of laughter. Kauri’s eyes flash with defensiveness and the scrunch of confusion shifts to an attempt at an angry frown, but his hands stay wrapped in Colton’s shirt, and Colton doesn’t pull his hands back from his hair. “I could be a murderer!”

“No offense,” Colton says softly, “But killing someone is genuinely the second-most impossible thing I’ve ever tried to imagine you doing.”

“What’s the most impossible thing?” Kauri asks, and Colton keeps one hand in his hair, sliding around behind his head, while the other moves to take him by the chin, lifting his head just a little bit.

The wide blue eyes are on his, now, and they’re not frightened anymore.

“The most impossible thing I can imagine you doing is this,” Colton whispers, and leans down to kiss him. 

[outlanderfanfics]

Getting to Know Abby Debeaupre

This week, I interviewed another great Outlander fanfic writer, @abbydebeaupreposts!

Abby was born on the East Coast of U.S and grew up in and around New York City. She is 50% Greek and 50% Mutt, but can only (barely, she says) speak her native tongue of English. Without exactly revealing her age, she did admit that she has a playlist stuck in the 80s. She only started writing Outlander fanfics a little over a year ago. In school, she studied Political Science and Economics. Currently, she does mostly transaction work, focusing mainly on contingency planning and a lot of technical writing. For fun, Abby enjoys hiking, biking, playing tennis, reading, cooking, and watching documentaries. As a unique talent, she revealed that she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue! If she could travel through the stones, she would like to relive her life as a baby boomer or possibly go to Paris in the 1920s. She was adamant that she would not be all that adaptable to the 1740s, as she has a healthy respect for deodorant, tampons and indoor plumbing.

Keep reading to see the full Q & A.

What inspired you to start writing Outlander fanfiction?

The long droughtlander between 1 and 2. I started writing fanfic probably like everyone else --because there were some things I wanted to read that weren’t written yet. Also one of my children had a serious medical issue and needed surgery (he’s doing really well. If any parents out there need to figure out how to go about finding a peds neurosurgeon feel free to DM me). It was a hugely challenging thing to go through. I had a lot of time waiting and pacing in doctor’s offices and hospital corridors. The thing is you are still processing later on-- months later...it echoes across a lot of your life even after and there was upheaval for awhile. Anyway, I stumbled on Outlander fanfic -- perfect small snippets -- the fandom platform is a kind of shorthand that cuts through the expositional crap-- we know who the the characters are and mostly where they are going. Fics usually have regular updates so you stay interested, etc. A handful of writers in particular gave me something to look forward to, a nice escape and lovely food for thought about something other than the things happening IRL. That made a difference to me and I -- corny as this sounds--hope maybe I’ve been able to return the favor/pay it forward.

What are some of your favourite quotes that you have written?

This is a great excuse to reflect on what I have been doing so thank you for that. Let me preface this by saying that I love writing but readers make it fun, special and interesting. So I just wanted to say how enjoyable readers have made this experience. In the process of reviewing everything to try and pick out some quotes has made me realize that I did accomplish my starting goal-- I wrote some things that I wanted to read that remained unwritten and I am kind of happy with how things turned out. Here we go:   

“He kissed her as if she was the essence life itself and she kissed him as if by doing so she could bring him into the light.” --An Outlander Affair to Remember

“If my lips touch yours, Sassenach, I might no’ be able to stop. I’ve been holding heaven in my arms while you slept.” --An Outlander Affair to Remember

“Kiss me quick, all’s quiet, no one is coming.” Claire huffed as she dropped into his lap. “Aye? Well, if it ‘twas you coming, Sassenach, it certainly wouldna be quiet for long!” -- An Outlander Affair to Remember 

“I could have been content, you know...Everything changed when you came into Faith’s life.” Jamie could not remain silent. “Sassenach, I came into your life, too.” “I know. That’s it, exactly.” Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, as if the truth of the statement made her heart break. -- This is Us

“Dearest LJ, If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach; Your best chance is with a scalpel, not a spatula!” -- This is Us

“Sassenach, if ye think that kiss’ll help me focus on something other than how much I look forward to doing it again, I must tell ye I am no’ of the same mind as you. Come here, lass,” he said as he moved in for the kill. -- Queen’s Gambit

What is your writing process when writing your fanfics? 

I very specifically choose a quote or a scene or a theme from the source material and then challenge myself to drop it on its head and slide it from the OL-verse into my fic in a way that changes its meaning, reconstructs it or reinterprets it. This is true of all my stories except perhaps the Abby After Dark Collection-- which is a little less….literary in nature. This Is Us in particular uses many influences from the book-verse (and TV show too actually) and it has resonated with readers despite the fact that I know about half of the readers haven’t read all the books. I love the fact that it appeals to both kinds of readers.

Do you write during a specific time of day? 

I work looooong hours, I have a fairly busy life with my family and friends and so I try and attend to writing a little bit every day but some days more than others.

Do you ask for input from peers? 

Not in the way you mean--I don’t have a beta and I know it shows! But my peers are beyond supportive of me. We do discuss story arcs and character development, funny plot bunnies, etc. Especially when you get the odd mean anon. They are so great in those low moments. I have been blessed with cheerleaders in the fandom from day one. A lot of people ask how can they get traction for their work and on their blogs-- here is my best advice: team up with someone or several someones--There are artists out there, GIF makers, book analysis bloggers, script nerds, BTS photo blogs, photoshop wizards- find them team up-- @smoakingwaffles started really getting traction with @annalisedemoodboards and the Polaroid series. @futurelounging was just flat out funny and caught @bonnie-wee-swordsman‘s attention. I started on AO3 and @pissedoffsoka13 found me as did @thistlekat777 and really encouraged me to come to Tumblr and then @outlanderedandoverhere drew an amazing This Is Us the fic that is my blog banner and @cantrixgrisea started much as I did posting (but fanart on AO3)-- incredible stuff--and she is so adorable and funny. These are just a few of the ways people give input-- I learn everyday from what they are up to. 

Do you edit while you write or do you use a more stream-of-consciousness approach?

I am the worst proofreader in the world-- but I edit constantly, it’s why it takes a long time between posts. 

What is your favourite genre to write and why?

I don’t have one. I write more modern AUs. I am too much of a nerd about wanting to fact check things and it’s just easier to do that with a modern world setting. The only genre I don’t think I could do are the kinds of fics written by @futurelounging and @diversemediums and @kalendraashtar-- these fantasy/futuristic/past complexities that are fantastically unique.

What has been your favourite season of the show so far and why?

Season One 1-8 because a more perfect glorious season there never was. That is not to say that I haven’t been blown away by several episodes in all three seasons-- they have their strengths and weaknesses. 

Have you read any of Diana’s books? 

All of them and many side ones as well.    

Do you have a favourite book?

ABOSAA.    

Do you read/write fanfics for any other fandom?

Until a few years ago I hadn’t heard the phrase fandom let alone… so no.

What is one random fact about you that you have never revealed on Tumblr before?

I play Texas Hold ‘Em and a mean game of Oh Hell.   

And that’s Abby. Even though I haven’t added her stories to my archive YET, you can check out her fanfiction master list on her blog.

[faeriexqueen]

All the writing asks

What’s your favorite word?I don’t have a single favorite word - it’s too hard to pick!  I also tend to prefer combinations of words?  Like “salt-white ivory” and “tender richness.”  I do like the word “blue” though.

Have any of your dreams made it into your original work? Which ones?Ah, a few poems!  They’re pretty personal, so nothing I’ve shared publicly (yet).

Is there a book you regret buying?Nope.  

Is there a book you regret selling/donating?Mmm.  Not that comes to mind.  I gave away a lot of books (like two trash bags full) when I moved, but I honestly had used them, and many of them were books I didn’t read anymore?  They went to a good friend who adores them, so I was really happy to know they went there.

How many books do you own?About two full shelves’s worth?  Not as much as I used to own, but an okay amount.

Which book do you wish you wrote?I’m not sure if there is one I wish I wrote?  That’s already been written by someone else?  Some of the stories I love don’t quite reflect my writing style. XD

What’s your favorite aesthetic to write? (i.e. autumn, ocean, forest, crappy motel, etc)Anything with winter and the sea.

What’s the purplest prose you’ve ever written?To be honest, I’m guilty of it in a lot of things. XD  Probably some of my earlier writing way back when, and Lotus in the Snow got wordy at times. >.>

Ever tried poetry? Or, if you’re a poet, ever tried prose?Screenwriting? Songwriting?Poetry I do write, as well as prose!  Songwriting I did once, but it’s not so much my thing, as I’m not that musical.  I have done playwriting (similar to screenwriting maybe?), but it wasn’t my cup of tea. XD

Which one of your stories or ocs would you want someone to write fanfic/draw fanart for?Right now, I’d die if someone drew something for Encompassed in Glass. XD  

For the rest of your life, you can only write one of your ocs. Which do you choose?I haven’t written with too many OCs since I mostly do fan fiction, but I have one character in mind.  She’s something of a knight reincarnated, and I’d love to write her more.

How often do you back up your work?Daily.  I usually back it up on email even in case I lose my flash drive or laptop dies.

What’s the first story or oc that your current self can be proud of?Lotus in the Snow.  It’s fan fiction, but it’s the first multi-chapter fic I ever busted out, and I’m pretty damn proud of it.

Has anyone ever told you that your work made them emotional?Yes, and it made me emotional. XD

How many drafts does your work go through before you’re ready to show it to people or publish?Ah, it depends.  Sometimes one, sometimes a few.  With longer works (like Encompassed in Glass and Lotus in the Snow), I usually have several versions of the story that I play with a bit.  It just depends on how quickly it comes together.

What’s your favorite part of the writing process?Losing myself in it, and just getting into the characters’ emotions and trials?  It’s very engaging, and I absolutely live for worldbuilding.

What’s something you wish you would’ve learned earlier as a writer?To take what others say with a grain of salt.  Not everyone will like your writing, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer - it just means you probably have different tastes and style preferences.

Close your eyes and try to type this sentence: I once was loved.

Do you you tend to read more articles, blogs, or books about writing for tips and tricks? Watch videos? Make it up as you go along? Something else?I usually talk to other writers!  I’ve found talking to other writers is just really helpful, and gives a lot of insight you can’t get anywhere else.

What’s your biggest dream as a writer?To just share a story that someone else can lose themselves in, and share that world and experience with them.

What’s your favorite punctuation mark?Period?  I’m boring. XD  (I like the semicolon too, AND the Oxford comma.)

When and how do you get struck with inspiration? Do you try to write the whole story/poem right away or do you just jot down ideas?In the bath.  Always in the damn bath.  I don’t know what it is, but I literally thought of like 75% of Lotus in the Snow in the bath. XD  But sometimes it literally just hits me?  I guess I have a pretty active mind, and usually the ideas play on a loop until I just write them out (I’m actually terrible at notes, and usually will use the inspiration to start writing right away.)

If you’re about to fall asleep and inspiration strikes, do you wake yourself up to write? Or do you convince yourself you’ll remember it in the morning?It depends on how restless the idea makes me - I’ve done both. XD

What’s the first piece you remember writing?When I was like 11, I wrote this short story for school.  It was about a boy who was a “freak” in a circus, but his mother’s angel came to give him support/inspiration.  It was like a page and a half, but I remember that one in particular because that was when my teacher pulled me aside and encouraged me to think about writing more stories in the future.  It was just…a really prominent moment for me?  I just remember thinking “I can’t write” but this teacher was so supportive and encouraging, and to this day I think about when she did that, and how she really played a role in me writing more.

Don’t think, don’t hesitate, just write a few lines of the first thing that comes to your mind.There are broken seashellsBeneath her feet;Crystalline glass trickle down, andInto the seaWhere she sleeps.

Writing Asks.

[saitouh]

Lmao sometimes i really wonder about the ppl who are in gintama. What kind of shit person are u to harass artists and fanfiction writers? They dont exist for you. They dont make things FOR YOU. I will never forget that one time when a famous artist drew gintsuki fanart and a ginhij fan wrote tons of anon messages to her, asking her to draw ginhiji, asking why doesnt she ship ginhiji, would she please consider to ship and draw ginhiji. Just wow. You already have so many ginhiji arts in your massive fandom, and u dont even have the most basic decency to allow other people to do what they want for their ship, for their own fandom. Were u even taught manners at home? Whats your upbringing like? In real life, i just want to know - do u walk up and snatch a gift that was given to someone else? Do u ask the gifter if they could gift u a present, too? Because that was what u were doing.

Also. Harassing fanfic writers. Hell i dont even read fanfics that much. I can count the gintama fanfics i have read on 2 hands in 10 years. The bad ones i just ignore. So honestly, lmao. If u dont like the writer or their fics, just move the fck on? Why the fck do you have to leave nasty anon messages on their work? Holy shit, cowardly nasty anons are the dregs of society. Have u ever spared a moment of thought, that when ppl put their work out there, they do so with much anxiety sometimes? Most times they view the reception in association with their self-worth. While it may not be a true association, it is still a direct attack on their self-esteem when they basically havent done shit to u other than defend themselves when being mindlessly attacked by assholes like u.

You are so cowardly, your only choice is to spew shit behind anonymity. You keep stalking ppl who bested u in your childish arguments, but u wont use your username to debate. You are afraid of being called out. You cant deal with backlash. You have to run to your bnf mothership to seek reinforcements and have someone fight your offensive battle. I dont know what makes u so stupid and nasty, but it really works, and u should stop taking it.

[andthetardis]

Hey! For the fanfic asks, nos. 13 and 16, please, if you feel like it. Thanks!😘

Hey, thank you so much!! I just missed my next train so this gave me something to do, thanks for asking

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?Oh sure! Fanfiction will always be my creative outlet of choice because I love writing and I feel like it’s what I’m good at, but I’d love to try other things as well, particularly fanart. It’s so fascinating and wonderful to me to be able to create an image of characters and have them do or look like whatever you imagine… I actually did some drawing a few years back and I wasn’t half bad at it (I drew Benedict Cumberbatch once and it actually somewhat looked like him I think? I’m gonna have to check when I get home!), but I never got past the basics and since I only have time for one life consuming hobby, I can’t really get into that at the moment. Same goes for giffing, I’d love to learn how to do it but I’m afraid I have a hundred other things to do first. But I’m more than happy with writing, so that’s cool :)

16. Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted?I do have one like that. Two, actually! One is a Johnlock fic with ~15k about what would have happened if Reichenbach had never happened, because I was convinced they would have gotten together within a year. The other one is a Marvey fic that’s at 10k and features a role reversal of s6, aka Harvey takes the deal and goes to prison instead of Mike. I don’t know if this year will be the one in which I finish either of them (not sure if I’ll ever finish the Johnlock one at all tbh). I really want to write the Marvey one, but I saw that someone wrote a fic with that exact premise in the meantime (I think it was @frivoloussuits?) and I want to check that out first. If the fic is too similar to what I envisioned, I probably won’t write mine.

Thanks again for asking!!

[thefloatingstone]

never thought I'd see you getting into undertale AUs with a bunch of different sanses and papyruses. in the past you've been all about canon! what drew you to the AUs you've been reblogging lately? (tone clarification: this isn't a criticism or intended negatively, I'm honestly curious about the change of heart.)

I’m still not really into AUs at all to be honest. I like my canon, and I feel the AUs are not able to reach the emotional connection I feel towards the canon characters. I cannot hold the same affection for them as I do canon, and I do not go out of my way to search for specific AUs. I don’t have “a favourite” AU for instance. Because none of the interest me on a concept level, if that makes sense. I don’t have much interest in ‘what if Sans and Papyrus were swapped’ or ‘what if the rules for the universe worked a little different’ or ‘what if things were more violent and darker’. None of those questions interest me and I have no desire to alter the canon as it stands. Nor do I feel those alterations that exist and were created by others can eclipse my love for canon and what I feel is the foundation.

Part of this is because I am not a person who has ever dabbled in other fandoms beyond its canon. For instance: not counting the one character I had for Ratchet and Clank when I was 14, I have never been somebody who makes OCs for myself. I made a few kinda sorta for Invader Zim… But usually in a single drawing and then I got bored and drew something else. I outgrew OCs extremely quickly and since age 18 have never felt the need to create any aside as background characters designed to fulfill a function in a fanfic to aid the canon characters I focus on. I just don’t have an interest in creating that much that isn’t canon.

Even when I was hardcore into TMNT, I only liked the 2003 cartoon. And when the 2012 cartoon came out, I could not get into it, simply because its canon was different from the 2003 show that I loved.

So I just am not a person who is predisposed to drastic changes to canon.

This remains true, and is a core part of my personality so I don’t see that changing in that regards.

I have been reblogging some more AU things lately but this is a credit completely and entirely to the artists and writers I reblog from and their handling of the characters. Even with fanart, it’s more about how the artists writes the character than it is the drawing of the character on its own. (Although I will reblog just plain good art if I like it because I feel refusing to do so is just being petty and stubborn.)

I got hooked on @jolie-in-the-underground’s AU character Q because she reblogged a lot of my comic and art and her tags always mean a lot to me, ao I followed her back as I consider her a friend, and she has this Q character who answers asks. I have a soft spot for chaotic neutral characters (hell I wrote an entire fanfic once literally titled 'chaotic neutral’) so I enjoyed his responses to things. Someone mentioned in the fanfic he was from the latest chapter had some angst and feels. Now of course I’m a sucker for angst and feels so I read it so as not to be out of the loop.

After much prompting and poking from Jolie, I read the previous chapters to so I could get context for events and simply because I like her writing. But her fanfic is a story that is a spin-off for ANOTHER fanfic. And it got to a point where I felt I wanted more context for a new chapter.

So I read some of @tyranttortoise’s fanfic which started the whole thing and was so enamored with her writing and handling if characters that I ended up reading her story from the beginning.

Ty’s fanfic is a reverse harem type story with a reader insert as the main character and literally 5 or 6 different AU versions of the skelebros living in a lodge together. And since her writing and handling of character is so good, of course I ended up developing favourites based on her handling of them. I cannot help that I am drawn to well written characters.

So at the moment I am very much enjoying her story as well as Jolie’s. And as for Grim and @nighttimepixels, considering the 3 of them are all in cahoots with each other (Night is Jolie’s sister and they cross-blog a lot) I ended up following her as well since her art is good and I enjoyed a short angsty piece she wrote recently. Also Night makes games involving the characters and setting of the 2 fanfics.

… @forgivemeimmasin is just a damn good artist and nice person and I am inspired by her art, expressions, designs and how her characters answer asks. *shrug emoji* I feel I can improve my art by looking and studying what it is I enjoy about her’s.

As a result, I like reblogging things from them because I enjoy them as artists and I am someone who likes it when my own work gets reblogged much more than just getting likes. And I do jot like being a hypocrit. So I feel if I enjoy their writing and art I should be reblogging it to, and not let stubbornness stop me from supporting people whose work I enjoy and who I consider online buddies if not full out friends. They deserve support and notes too. Especially writers who often get overshadowed by artists which isn’t fair.

So long story short, the AU reblogs from me are a testament to the artists I reblog from, and not to the AU concept on its own.

I still don’t really like AUs, but my love for good characters written well overrides my dislike. And I find it silly to deny that I like a character out of some sense of pride or “I said this thing this one time so I am never allowed to change my mind about it”. Because in the end I only deny myself enjoyment that way.

I hope that answers your question?

Also I do apologise as I know most of my watchers are not into AUs and some like me lament the fact that the fanbase seems so preoccupied with them that they completely ignore canon. I don’t mean to alienate you or make you regret following me. But I don’t feel comfortable putting up a fake visage of what I like and enjoy for the sake of rep. I hope you don’t decide to leave me over it.

Canon is still my prime focus though, and honestly I do not see myself interested in AUs beyond these writers and artists at all. For instance I have no desire to write these characters myself. Although I might want to draw the versions from the fanfics I enjoy.

I’ll always be canon first though.

[obviouslyelementary]

Our little secret

Logicality/PTA Sanders small oneshot.

Finally I had time to do this! Enjoy it!

Three years. 

 Three years, that was how much time Logic had been pulling this off. 

 And he scolded Thomas for procrastinating. 

 It wasn't procrastinating, he told himself. It was something deeper than that. One thing was pretending that a project didn't exist. Other thing was to have feelings for someone that loved everybody all the time. 

 Three years he had been in love with Morality, and three years he had been pushing it down, pretending it didn't exist in fear of getting a no. 

 No one had realised it yet. Lucky. Even though he knew luck did not exist. 

 But whatever it was, luck or otherwise, it did not last forever. And sadly, after exact three years of keeping himself quiet, people started to notice. 

 Perhaps before they were outed to the world, things were easier. He just stood in his corner, by his desk, making works and projects and researching. He watched in silence as Morality ran around with children and collected flowers, being the sweetheart he was. Logic was always far away, keeping an eye out for him, but never interfering. 

 Now, however, that they had been introduced to everyone and were acknowledged, things became harder to pretend. He watched with Thomas and all the other personalities as people drew them, wrote stories, and suddenly he craved more and more of those, knowing that only in such universe he would be able to be with Morality without being judged, with being neglected. 

 He couldn't stop telling Thomas to read more and more about it. It was only logical. His fans would be happy if he read and commented in things they did. 

 But then, after a few days, things weren't subtle anymore. 

  "Seriously Logic. I don't understand. Why can't you just give Thomas a break? Yeah, fanfics and fanart are amazing, but it's becoming weird" Anxiety said one day, while he laid on the couch while Logic read a book next to him. The teacher looked down at the personality, raising an eyebrow. 

 "Anxiety. You know people will like Thomas more if he reads and sees their things" he said, but Anxiety just rolled his eyes. 

 "I know. And it's not like I don't want people to like Thomas. But I feel like that's a bit too much, you know? It's almost like you en... Wait" he said, sitting up, his eyes wide and a smirk growing on his face. "You enjoy it!"

 "I don't know what you are talking about" Logic said, trying to sound as calm as he could. "I don't enjoy those things"

 "Yes you do! Ha!" Anxiety said, jumping from the couch in a happy way that Logic had never seen him do before. "Prince! Morality! Logic likes reading fanfics about him!"

 "Wh - I don't!" Logic said as Prince and Morality appeared on the stairs. 

 "I knew I wasn't the only one!" Morality said, rushing down and being followed by Prince, who was just confused. "Which one is your favourite? I really l-"

 "I don't like fanfics about me! I don't like fanfics at all! I hate them. They are completely illogical! They are nothing more than tactics to make people happy about things that will never happen! They are as unrealistic as Prince, as angsty as Anxiety and as stupid as you!" He said, loudly, making the room fall into a thick silence. He was panting, breathing hard, blushing deeply, looking at the other three in desperation. 

 Wonderful. That was surely the way of escaping some weird questions. 

 "Wow. How rude you are with our fans' creativity" Prince said, a disgusted expression on his face. 

 "Even I don't hate them" Anxiety said, raising his eyebrow. "You're mean"

 "Well, I am utterly disappointed" Morality said, giving them that fake laugh he did when he didn't want to ball out crying of frustration or sadness. 

 "I-I... It's your fault Anxiety! I told you I didn't like them!" Logic said, but the dark personality rolled his eyes. 

 "I am not the one to blame for everything Logic. And all the times you blamed me, it was your fault. Maybe you should take some time for yourself. You've been making more mistakes than Princey these days" 

 "Hey there!" Prince complained, and Anxiety just smirked in that sarcastic way he always did. Morality looked between them and then looked at Logic. 

 "Yeah maybe you need a few hours for yourself. Why don't you go to your room?" He asked, and both Prince and Anxiety froze, while Logic just felt something that he presumed that was his heart breaking. 

 It was rarity for Morality to act like a responsible and serious father, but when he did, he meant business. He only told someone to go to their rooms when he was angry or upset, and Logic did not know which was the case. 

 Prince and Anxiety exchanged a worried glance and then looked back at Logic, who fixed his glasses and tie and nodded to the happier personality. 

 "I will. I need some rest" he said, and then slowly made his way through the three, upstairs, and walked inside his room, sighing at the dull colouring of the walls, the grey bedsheets, the desk filled with paperwork. 

 He used to love his room. Now he hated it. He couldn't stop comparing it to Morality's room, to how bright and colourful it was. 

 He had spent one single night there, when the personality was away. He had been helping Thomas with a project all night, so Logic had the time to sleep alone. And he got inside Morality's room and slept there, quiet, alone, around three months before that day. The personality had never found out, and Logic was glad. 

 Now, however, he just wanted to get inside the room and sleep in there again. 

 Instead, he laid down on his bed and threw his glasses and tie away. He laid down, tired, upset and feeling something weird in his chest. 

 He fell asleep quicker than he thought he would, but he did not have a calm sleep. He woke up several times with the images of the personalities finding out about his crush, or locking him in his room for making Thomas upset. 

 He just wished he could make it all stop. 

  Logic stood up a few hours later, when he was called. He fixed himself quickly and then nodded, letting himself be summoned by his host. 

 "Yes Thomas?" He asked, fixing his glasses and tie as he stood in front of his host. When he looked up, the man seemed a bit angry. 

 "Don't 'yes Thomas' me. Where were you all day? I have never done the dumbest decisions in my life like I did today! Why did you decide to take a day off without telling me?" He asked, angrily, and Logic was a bit taken aback at the questions, stepping back. 

 "I-I..."

 "Look it's fine. Just warn me before. In any case, you're clearly not fine" Thomas said, frowning. "Do you want to sit down and talk?"

 "I..." He said, slowly, and then stopped. "I would love to, but I can't. The others can't know, and if you know, they know"

 "Well... Can't argue with that" Thomas said, honesty, and then shook his head. “In any case, you do seem too tense for my liking. Sit down with me. Let us drink or eat something. I have cookies”                                    

  “I am allergic to chocolate Thomas” Logic said, frowning, and Thomas hummed, blushing lightly.

 “Right... Maybe just sit down then. Do you like Disney? We could watch Big Hero Six if you’d like” Thomas said, slowly, but Logic simply sighed and shook his head.

 “You should check your tumblr. Maybe there is something there to distract us both” Logic said before he even thought about it, his cheeks going warmer at the realisation of what he had just proposed. Thomas did not seem to realise his intentions, simply grinning and nodding, grabbing his computer from the table. Logic took a moment or two before he walked closer to the man and sat down, staring at the computer screen while the host opened Tumblr and checked a few tags, smiling at all the amazing messages and fanfics and fanarts the sanders left them.

 “Prinxiety. Again” Thomas chuckled, rolling his eyes with affection. “Maybe I should sum the others up so we could see together! What do you say?” he asked, eyes beaming, and Logic looked at him, trying not to be upset.

 He was never enough. Not to Thomas. There always had to be someone else. And he really didn’t want to talk to the other three.

 “Well... You should call them. I have some stuff to d...” he stopped, his eyes freezing over the fanart on the screen. He blushed, and felt his chest hurt again. People really knew how to draw Morality. His sparkling eyes, colourful fashion sense, his huge smile. He was beautiful in every logical and illogical way.

 “Nice, right?” Thomas asked, and Logic returned to reality, looking at his host and blushing deeply. “People are really getting into Morality. That’s cool. They are getting into you too. I was worried that they would just... like Anxiety over everyone. Which is good for him but bad for you guys. I mean... I think. Did you get upset when Anxiety said you were the least popular character? I really tried to make you better...”

 “There is no logic in getting upset over people’s opinions” ‘Yes, I got upset and I still get because I know I am the least favourite because I am a pain in the ass and I have no good attributes and I can’t make people pity me so I am literally the least option for anyone that actually can think and see because I’m the least attractive, the least nice and the least cool. I am a mess”

 Thomas blinked slowly, and moved his head up, eyes wide, surprised and upset. Logic blushed deeply when he realised his host had listened to all of that and quickly stood up, rushing to the stairs and sinking down before Thomas could try anything.

 However, as he arrived back into the man’s head, he found no one else but the three personalities waiting for him, all of them looking worried and guilty.

 “Logic... We...” Prince started, for some reason Logic didn’t want to understand. He shook his head and rose his hand before rushing past them and running upstairs to his room. His eyes were already tearing up in frustration and shame, and once he reached his bedroom, he laid down on his bed, a sob coming out of his mouth.

 He hated when he got like that. It was rare. But the times that happened made him question everything else. He just wanted to act normally. To be a normal man. Just like the others. To be liked and enjoy being liked out loud. Be able to feel something, to feel anything, without being judged by himself.

 Being Thomas’ mind was terrible. He hated it, no matter how much he loved his host.

 It took him a few minutes, but when his sobs subsided, he listened to someone knocking on his door, carefully.

 “Logic?”

 The teacher whimpered and shook his head, nuzzling on his pillow. It smelled so nice...

 “Go away” he said, loud enough for the other to listen. “I don’t want you here”

 “It is my room Logic” Morality said softly, and the teacher looked up, eyes wide, looking around. It was indeed Morality’s room. That was why it was comfortable. He sat up shakily and looked at the door as the father walked inside the room, looking worried.

 “Sorry. I will be leaving in a second” he said, fixing himself, but Morality sat down next to the other and put his hand over the teacher’s shoulder.

 “No need. I want you here. I want to talk to you” the father said, seriously, and Logic rolled his eyes.

 “I am not your son. You can’t treat me like I am”

 “Well... Now you are. And you are staying. I don’t care what you say” Morality said, firmly, making Logic sigh, resigned.

 “What do you want?” he asked, eyes tired, and Morality hummed, looking at his friend. Best friend. Or was he? He and Anxiety had been getting alone greatly those last days.

 “I want to know what is wrong. You’re usually not that dark. I am hurting. Thomas is worried about you” the father said, his hand sliding down Logic’s shoulder. “Talk to me. Maybe we can solve it together like we did before”

 “Nothing to figure out. I know why I am upset. I don’t need to worry you and Thomas even more. Just leave me alone” he asked, shyly, looking down at his feet. Sadly, Morality was having none of it.

 “Is it because of the fanders?” he asked, carefully, and Logic chuckled deeply, rubbing his eyes slowly.

 “No... It isn’t because they don’t like me. Like, it is sad but... It is illogical to mourn about tastes” he said, firmly. “My problems have a whole deeper and more complicated beginning”

 “Is it because you have a crush on me and you never had the courage to tell? Because I know. I know and I have been waiting” Morality said, seriously, and Logic chocked on nothing, looking up at the father, who was smirking.

 “You... Knew?”

 “I am Thomas’ heart. In constant contact with his head, you. I know a thing or two about loving people” he said, winking, and Logic blushed so deep he felt his body going red.

 “Why... why didn’t you say anything? Since when you know? Morality what the hell” Logic whined, hiding his face away in shame, his heart pounding. The father laughed loudly and then sat down next to the teacher, caressing his head.

 “No bad words. And well... I thought it would be better to let you come out for your own. I knew for about... five months. Not that long.” He said, slowly brushing his fingers through the teacher’s hair. Slowly, Logic felt his heart calming down, and slowly sat up, staring at the other personality.

 “And..? Do you like me back?” he asked, lightly, swallowing all his pride and looking down at his hands. Then, Morality pulled his head up and stared into his eyes, wearing that calm smile he did when he was happy, but not agitated. It was rarity.

 “Are you kidding me? I am a heart and you are a mind. There is no more perfect couple.” He said, shrugging. “Besides, it is good for Thomas, because at least now we will agree a bit more often”

 “Yeah... All for Thomas” Logic said, half sarcastic and half honest. Everything was for Thomas anyway. “So... We...”

 “Yes” Morality said, before he pulled the teacher closer by his neck and kissed him slowly. Logic answered right away, no hesitation in his actions. They kissed slowly, with no hurry, and then pressed their foreheads together, Logic letting a soft smile creep up his face. Morality looked at him and giggled. “Your smile is very beautiful. You should smile more often”

 “Maybe I will, for now on” Logic said, and the father rolled his eyes, still smiling.

 “Good. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. Thomas is worried”

 “Ah. Fuck Thomas”

 “Logic!”

[dictacontrion]

Hiii!:) I would love to hear the answer to 21, 23 and 28. Thanks.:)

Hi anon!!! thanks for asking!!!

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

the very very very first ever was a snippet of buffy fanfic that i wrote when i was maybe 15 and never finished or posted, and the first one i finished was a heart so transparent, which has shades of finishing that other first one which might be part of why a heart so transparent is i think pretty different from everything else i’ve written.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Any Instrument. Writing it was the most intrinsically rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I loved the process, I loved living in that world and in those spaces, I loved the way the story unfolded, I loved being able to get as immersed in the world as I was able to, I loved having the time and space to tell a story I really wanted to tell, I loved being a part of that writing community at that moment in time and the time spent talking to my beta and to other writers and hanging out in chatzy and the mod support, I loved feeling like I was able to rise to the challenge of writing that story and writing it for the authors who got me into this fandom and who remain two of the writers I most admire. Everything. It was a fantastic experience. And I started rereading it once and it didn’t suck!!! That was pretty cool too!!!!! All that said, I’m struggling to articulate what I do or would like about it from a reader’s perspective bc so much of my attachment to it has to do with the experience of writing it. But I think I’d like the settings and the pace and the concept?

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

It would be Harry and Draco in the orchard in Any Instrument. Like ninety different versions of that scene. But also a lot of scenes from Any Instrument (@anemonensblog drew one here and @apriicat drew one here and I am in love with both of them and have sat here staring at them lovingly for the last few minutes) and lots of stuff from Make Me a Headline and The Vanishing Department and On Open Wings and No Greater Victory and okay I can think of scenes from every fic I’ve ever written and...look, I’m a fic writer, it is a fairly safe bet that I am thirsty af for art of my fic and over nine different moons when it happens and there is absolutely no going wrong ever. Not that that’s why you were asking i just got carried away with the question!!!

fanfic ask meme