#onscreen hurt

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Omfg what about a Soap who gets rejected/slash hurt by Ghost, asks for a transfer (only for a bit) and then comes back with König???

Like Soap reckons if he just got some time away from Ghost, some time around some other people that aren’t constantly reminding him of the man that so ruthlessly crushed his heart, that he’ll be ok.

So he asks Price for a transfer, just a temporary one for a few months while he and lieutenant sort themselves out. Price is reluctant to do so, not wanting to split up his boys and worried about Soap and the dark rings sitting under red rimmed eyes. But it’s also that worry that let’s Soap transfer, cause the last thing he wants is for his boys to destroy each other from the inside out.

So Soap transfers to another unit for a while without notice. Well, without notice for Ghost because he thought the man wouldn’t give two shits if he disappeared. Everyone else knew though and they were all sad to see the man go, even if he was promised to come back eventually.

Ghost doesn’t realise the change at first since Johnny had been avoiding him for the last few weeks already. He didn’t blame the man, he had been a cunt to him on purpose after all cause he couldn’t deal with the thought of losing Johnny if he let himself fall in love with the man.

But then they got sent on a mission and it was the all hands on deck sort of thing. When Ghost takes a look around the plane and doesn’t see Soap he gets slightly worried, the man is always the first on board, chattering away to whoever will listen. Then the pilots are making final preps and Ghost panics just a little cause where the fuck is Soap?

It’s when the doors close that he makes his way to Price, eyes just a tad too wide under the mask as he glances around, “What about Johnny?”

Price gets this look in his face and Simon’s stomach drops. He’s seen the look only once and he doesn’t know if he can handle being told the same thing again. When did it even happen? Why did it happen? Why had nobody told him when they knew he was close to Johnny?

“He’s been transferred Lieutenant.” Ghost doesn’t know if he feels better or worse from hearing the words. There’s sharp relief that the man isn’t dead but then it’s overwhelmed by the fact that the Scot had been transferred and nobody bothered to tell him.

Price must see it in his face cause the man heaves a sigh, rubbing at his forehead before nodding at the seat next to him, “This isn’t the greatest time for this conversation but I know you won’t be able to focus proper until you know why.”

Simon feels small under the analysis, something about being so well known by someone always sitting weird in his gut when he put too much thought into it.

“Sergeant Mctavish has been transferred to KorTac for the next four months under his own request. He’ll be back by the end of that time period but until then there will be no comms between us. They’ve got their own missions to run.”

Price didn’t say it but Simon knows he’s the reason behind Johnny’s transfer. Knows that the only reason the Scot isn’t with them is because Ghost got fucking scared and decided it’d be easier to hurt the other man now rather than let himself get hurt in the long run. And Ghost hates himself for it.

“Bring him back Price.” The captain shook his head, regret and a slight bit of disappointment in his face as he spoke.

“Can’t do that lieutenant. The paperwork’s been done and the sergeants been gone for a week now. If I pulled him now it’d look bad for all of us, not to mention KorTac’s mission could go sideways if they were suddenly down a man.”

Ghost wants to scream. Wants to yell and rage and demand the captain bring Johnny back to where he belongs but he knows that’s not going to fix anything. Knows that it was all his fault anyway and the last thing he wants is for the entire plane to know just how much he fucked up.

Price sighs quietly, hand coming to briefly rest on his shoulder before he speaks, “Simon. I know you feel bad about what happened but there’s nothing to be done now. You just… wait it out.”

Ghost can do nothing but grit his teeth and nod cause it’s not like there’s any other choice.

*4 months later*

Ghost had been going out of his mind waiting for the time to pass. Without Johnny’s constant noise and seeking him out it felt like a Millenia just for a single day to pass by. But now the 4 months are up and everything can go back to normal.

Was it naïve and way too hopeful to wish for things to just return to how it was? Definitely. But Ghost couldn’t help himself, he desperately wanted things to go to before then. Before he had fucked up and hurt Johnny so badly. He just wanted his sergeant to smile at him and share thoughtless affection like he always had.

He’s out on the tarmac with Price, the both of them waiting for Soap’s heli to land. Ghost is practically vibrating out of his skin with how much he’s resisting to immediately run toward the aircraft. All desire to do so stops when some tall as fuck soldier gets out of the heli first, sniper’s hood obscuring his face from view and causing Ghost to wonder at who the hell that is.

But then Johnny’s getting out and Simon forgets all about the other man, eyes fixated on the smile the Scot wears and the way his mouth parts in what Simon knows to be a laugh.

Then he’s turning toward him and his smile gets wider, arm coming up to wave at them briefly before he starts making his way over, the tall guy following a step behind.

When Soap makes it to them he pulls Price into a firm hug, patting at his back as he greets the man with short jabs and a friendly smile. When Johnny pulls back he smiles at Ghost but somethings not quite right about it, “Nice seeing you Ghost.”

The lieutenant frowns beneath the mask, giving his own short greeting as Johnny turns slightly to introduce the other man with him. Ghost doesn’t notice though cause he’s too fixated on why this whole interaction felt so wrong.

There’s something different about how Johnny’s acting, something missing when he looks at Ghost and he can’t put his finger on it.

“This is König. He looked after me during my transfer and was suggested to transfer here as a way of… building, relations.” Soap shot Price a rather pointed look, the two of them having a silent conversation that Simon couldn’t quite figure out.

Eventually their captain sighed and the smile that broke out across Soap’s face was blinding, “Welcome to the team then König. Our boy here will show you around.”

König nodded, saying something that Ghost couldn’t quite make out with the static running through his ears cause Johnny wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at the new guy with a look he was all to familiar with.

[void-proxima]

One of the more heartbreaking episodes of this show was released on April 28, 2019: "This is Not A Drill", featuring Drill Man (...and his absolutely abysmal excuse for a father). To commemorate it, I drew him over the weekend (and touched up the shading today). As always, the poor guy is not having a good time.

no background version under the cut:

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cws: drugging, SA and SA apologia, fantasy racism/ableism, forced institutionalization.]

-

i know i never shut up about it but god i am still just. So Salty about how the show handles the dynamic between mayor jones and pericles for many reasons, and one of the biggest is that there are really strong overtones here of sexual assault.

a character who already brings to mind the Slimy, Shady Cis White Guy with Buried Allegations archetype:

takes advantage of the trust of someone who's doing something with him in secret--

(which will get that person in a disproportionate amount of trouble compared to him, if they're discovered)

--to catch him off guard so he can grab him, drug him, and do violent things to his body while he's unconscious; scars him for life in a way that is disabling and should cause a lot of ongoing suffering, which, like many other things that should have a strong negative impact on him physically or psychologically, the writers ignore; and dumps him there alone to discover what's been done to him when he wakes up.

specifically, he does this to someone from a marginalized group that's highly unlikely to be believed if they tell anyone what he did--and going by the fact that mayor jones never got in any trouble until present day, he wasn't.

goes out of the way to ruin the life of the victim and discredit him as thoroughly as possible, because he's a loose end and he needs to shut him up.

flees the scene and gets away scot free with this for twenty years, has a successful privileged career and is considered a pillar of the community in the meantime.

when his dirty secret, which he's been paranoid about finally facing consequences for after the victim has recently become a risk again, is discovered, it's a huge career-ending scandal.

is redeemed by the end, while his victim goes on to be the Monstrous Irredeemable Pure Evil Main Villain and also sexually abuse someone himself, which is played as horrific and traumatizing (as it should be).

more specifically, is portrayed as showing redeeming, heroic anti-villain qualities by backhanding the victim into a wall as hard as he can in present day.

me: hm. yeah fuck this

[helicidal]

they hated him for his weird boy tendencies (i'm they)

[candied-cae]

I am super fucking pissed about Wee John in this last episode.

Why. The. Fuck. Was. He. Not. Included. AT. ALL. During. The. Escape??????????

Legitimately, where the fuck was he? I was fuming for a lot of that because he's my favorite character, so I was looking for him. While everyone was stripping the English of their uniforms and getting dressed up (at least partially) in disguise, he is the only character not included.

They make a point about Fang not getting a proper shirt, which already pissed me off enough, that he had to wear what was essentially prison stripes while everyone else was in uniform, but Wee John wasn't even there. He wasn't in the raid. He wasn't in the run down the beach.

He just wasn't even fucking there. And if it was something Kristian decided he didn't want to worry about hurting himself over, particularly looking out for his back and knees, I understand not asking him to run over and over again for reshoots. But the fact that he didn't even get dressed with them... and that's the second time he's been excluded from a plan apparently due to his size (remember that he didn't get to participate when The Revenge dressed up as rich boys for Nigel Badminton)...

It is legitimately breaking my heart. One of the things I love about this show is the love is gives to its fat characters and actors. Fang gets to have his tummy out 24/7 and he's treated like a snack by Lucius, Wee John got to have an incredible dress, Oluwande is the crew's most eligible bachelor, and we even got a delightful fat character in 2x07 who spent his whole time dressed in only some leather halters and pants...

But the fact that Wee John was singled out and left behind, and the fact that Fang was singled out and othered at that very same time... It fucking hurts. As a fat person who has loved getting to see so much love for fat bodies... it stung to see that the comedy couldn't even suspend its reality long enough to say "there are a few fat people in the Royal English Navy, so Wee John and Fang get to be dressed up too."

[alright-cowboy]

sooo i made a bingo for the finale

im so INSANE over this ep i can't even expect anything.... whatever happens we roll

[istherewifiinhell]

okay weird tech thing? i was using the split screen app thing on my phone so i could actually reply to discord messages using bt kb just by typing into the notes app and copy pasting but then on the second one. turns out discord doesnt do its little boot out of the txt box thing if its in split screen mode anyway?? so??? cool?????

[thebirdandhersong]

Sometimes I wonder why I can't handle any intense stuff in movies and books because everyone else clearly has no problem with the violence/psychological horror bit but other times I'm like. but do I WANT to be unaffected by that.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Just went down a rabbit hole of YT videos about the lives of actresses in old Hollywood, and came out the other side watching Wendy Carlos demonstrate how to operate her synthesizers. I now have a massive crush on her.

[reel-fear]

Some non canon leaked S4 concepts: BA might've been part of why Blitzwing is a triple changer via surgery/experiments he likely consented to knowing the risks. The fandom: omg shes such a horrible bitch, I cant believe that shes such an abuser

The actual show: here's Blitzwing and BA interacting, nothing happens except Blitzwing says "ew ur gross and techno-organic/disabled such a bitch" and BA replies it "stick it up ur ass" The fandom: Blitzwing is such a bean did nothing wrong <3<3 he simply didn't mean it when he said BA's scars are gross <3<3<3 such a smol bean boy BA is such a horrible bitch

PURE sexism and horrible bigoted bias.

[robbyykeene]

Robby’s quest to expose Silver as the Ultimate Evil would have been so much more effective if like. We had any scenes in season 4 of Silver actually overtly manipulating Robby. And yeah, we had that one scene between them at the beginning of s4–but then they just never followed up or did anything with that ever again. Idk I guess it just didn’t really land as well when they had all these lines this season of Robby talking about how he, personally, knew how evil Silver was, when almost everything about their relationship in season 4 took place off screen.

[variousqueerthings]

somethingsomething if preventative medicine proved to BJ that he couldn’t protect Hawkeye from himself, and period of adjustment proved to BJ that Hawkeye couldn’t be protected from BJ’s emotions either... then how might BJ feel as someone who’s been taking on a role as his protector and stability?

[the-force-awakens]

Top 5 Poe&Leia moments (not necessarily from the main movies) 😊

dreamers hands my most absolute beloved...

when she grounds him after L'ulo's funeral - because it's the first time we really see them pushing the "we're just general and commander" envelope, I think outside of friendly banter. Leia sees through Poe's "golden reckless flyboy" sort of facade he keeps up to keep up morale and to avoid acknowledging his own pain and calls him out on it — which leads to Poe "I'm fine look how fine I am" Dameron actually snapping at Leia and throwing the fact that he's looking for Luke in her face (he has an interesting habit of doing that when arguments get intense/personal and I find it fascinating). I think it really sets up the dynamic we see flourish especially in the last jedi — they're both refreshingly honest with each other and know they can be a little tough with each other when it comes down to it.

there's this bit of banter in before the awakening I love when Leia tells Poe she wants him to steal a yacht and he jokes if she wants him to also nab a top of the line other new model ship while he's at it.

I really do love their argument in tlj? I might be in the minority but it really hits me in my feelings. I don't love that he gets slapped, but I'll always love when two characters can get into a serious argument but there's still no love lost between them. And of course it's followed up with the silly "permission to jump into an x wing and blow something up" and Poe waiting just a fraction of a second longer than he needs to after she gives him permission because she starts to smile just a little bit at him.

THE HAND TOUCH!!!!!! if I ever don't include this in a thing assume I've been taken over by a body snatcher.

The opening of Station Theta Black (aka my emotional support resistance episode). I love how professional they start off and then it quickly falls apart with Leia poking him in the chest and Poe being....Poe, and you've got Kaz in the background with wide eyes watching it all go down, they're ridiculous I adore them

ask me my top five anything!

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

adventure time episodes that unlock secret emotions

1. james

2. something big

[timegears-moved]

thinking about how reborn said that you shouldn't sympathize with a victim of implied csa because she has violent outbursts as a result of her abuse but you should absolutely sympathize with her abuser because he has a sad backstory his sister died and that's why he needs to abuse children :(

[nero-neptune]

probably gonna end up reading the sandman comics instead of finishing the show. not bc i'm unable to watch the show or bc the concept isnt interesting (i'm at episode 6), but the majority of the black characters are just straight up treated like shit lmao. like consistently! and it'd be funny if it didnt make me annoyed every single time it happened