#oof been a bit since i needed that tag but it's fine

[spacenintendogs]

i hate my anxiety and paranoia.

[acourtofinkandpapyrus]

My Little Shadow: Epilogue/ Part fifteen (Azriel x Reader) Final Part

Warnings: OOF, jealous Elain, smut, smut AND MORE SMUT- Oral, F-receiving, fingering, shadow bondage play, and Y/N losing her virginity to her mate!

Part fourteen (I will be starting another series once the vote I started ends, you can find it here

Tag list: @mis-lil-red @bubybubsters @luvmoo @rorel1a @minakay @foreverrandomwritings Note! If any of you want to be on my Azriel tag list for *any* stories involving him, please message me! I'm still new to tag lists 😅

After healing, you and Azriel find some alone time, and talk about the future a little bit.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I felt cool hands wrap around my midsection, hugging me from behind.

Azriel pulled me into a hug, nuzzling my neck and breathing in my scent.  “Hello, what have you been up to?”  He asked in a pleased tone of voice.

I was told Rhys had found us in the hall, the both of us passed out from our injuries.

Apparently, the collapse had killed all those people following Meave, and of course Meave herself.

With Madja’s help, we had healed extraordinarily fast, almost none of my injuries had scarred over, healed over as if they had never been there in the first place.

Except for my hands, which now matched Azriel’s.

“Not much, just reading.”  I say with a grin, putting down the book I had been so invested in.

He chuckled, and I sighed sadly as he pulled away, taking his warmth with him.

“I’m going to have to go again, I’m needed at the townhouse.”  He said, petting my hair comfortingly.

I couldn’t help but to whirl around, biting my lip in worry.  “Will Elain be there?”  I ask, trying to seem less worried about it than I am, even though it’s a lost cause.

He frowns a bit, worry crinkling his brow.  “I promise you Y/N, there is nothing there.  I love you, and only you.”

I looked away, crossing my arms, I knew I looked pouty, but I didn’t care.  “It’s not you I’m worried about.”

Elain had been strange to me since Azriel and I announced the bond, and if I didn’t know any better she was purposely trying to make my life hard at times.

“I’m sorry my little shadow, but you know that you’re the only one I want, right?”  He said, smiling down softly at me.

I don’t know what spurs me, but I say with the utmost confidence, “Why don’t you show me then?”

His eyes go wide, and I immediately think I’ve gone too far, getting ready to run off and hide.

He pulls me forward and traps my mouth in his, kissing me deeply and exploring my mouth with his tongue.

I shiver as he pulls away, his eyes darkened with lust.  “When I get back shadow, I’ll show you exactly how much I want you.”

And with that he disappears, leaving me with my legs snapped shut tightly and hands shaking.

I make an effort to not think about Azriel while he's gone, one so I don’t worry about Elian, and two, so I don’t look flustered all evening.

I head down to the library, helping Nesta and Gwen with random chores.

“So what’s it like being mated to Azriel?”  Nesta asked as I lifted a particularly heavy set of books.

I tried not to blush as I flashed back to that look he had given me earlier, the way my breath had caught in my chest when he did.

“It’s nice.  I love him a lot.”  I said, hoping to quickly change the subject to something else.

“So you two have a plan to make the mating bond official then?”  She raised a brow, as if to ask me why I’d been holding out on her.

I blink in surprise.  “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

Nesta smiles comfortingly.  “That’s fine, but you’re inviting me, no matter what you plan.”

I giggle, “Of course I will, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you out of something so important.”

Something so important that neither Azriel or I have brought up.

I was quiet after that, thinking of ways to bring it up to Azriel.  That I wanted to be his mate, for the rest of our immortal lives.

The edge of my mouth quirked up at the thought.  I think I would like that.

I had spent hours in the library with Nesta, and as I made my way back to the river house, I saw something in a storefront that made me stop in my tracks.

It was a lingerie shop.

Azriel and I hadn’t done anything of this sort yet, after everything that happened, I don’t think Azriel wanted to push me into something I wasn’t ready for.

Biting my lip, I look at the dark lacy set on the mannequin.

I made it back to the little place Azriel and I were calling home.  I paused in the doorway when I caught a fresh wave of his scent.

I grinned, sending my shadows out to look for him.

We had this game, him and I.  We would see who would hide from the other the best.

So while my shadows searched, as did I.  Though, I quickly realized he wasn’t in any of the main rooms.

“Az?”  I called out, giving up for today.

I just wanted him to hold me in his arms, tell me how much he loved me.

One of his shadows found me, gently wrapping around my wrist and tugging me upstairs.  Toward the bedroom.

My thighs clench together, and I take a deep breath, concentrating on getting up the stairs and finding Azriel.

The shadows tugged me toward my bedroom, the door already cracked.

Leaving me, they slid back into the room.  My shadows follow them in, and I’m standing there, biting my lip.

I finally step forward, opening the door to see Azriel lounging in my bed, book in hand.

He didn’t look up as I entered, and I realized he was reading one of the romance novels I had told him was my favorite.

“Hello Little Shadow, what took you so long?”  He asked, his voice low and seductive.

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, fussing with the end of my shirt.  “I was helping out at the library in the house of wind.  You’re not usually home this early.”

He stood, stalking over to me.  “After your request?  How could I leave you waiting?”  He asked, his breath hitting the shell of my ear, making me shiver.

His hands went to my waist, bringing me closer until we were touching.  “What do you want Y/N?”  He asked, his pupils wide with love as he brought a hand up to brush away a strand of hair.

“This.”  I gasped as his other hand grazed my side.  He must have smelled my arousal that was now pooling in my panties, because he grew taught, as if he was holding himself back.

“Hmmmm.”  He said, leaning down to nuzzle my neck.  I moved, granting him access as he planted kisses and little nips there, making me pant.

“I love you so much Y/N.”  He whispered into my skin, making my eyes roll into the back of my head, pressing my thighs together.

He went to move one of his beautiful hands down my pants, and one of my shadows wrapped around his wrist as I gasped, “Stop-”

Suddenly, he took his hand back, and stopped kissing my neck, his eyes wide in worry.  “Are you alright?  I’m so sorry- I-”

I shake my head.  “No- no.  That’s not it.”  I say, still breathing heavily.  “It’s just… I’ve never done… this, before.”

I swallow thickly, expecting him to look disappointed.  But instead, his eyes gain a predatory glint, which has me struggling to stay standing.

“If anything gets to be too much, you tell me, okay?”  He asks, half growling, and I nod.

He picked me up, and I straddled his waist, whimpering as I felt the hardness of him through the layers of clothes separating us.

I make a little noise of protest as he lifts me away, but he quickly places me on the bed, and I love the way he looks, towering over me with eyes only for me, tracing my form.

“Let's get these clothes off, hmm?”  He said, running his calloused thumb along my jaw and tipping my chin up.

I can’t help the sly smile on my face as I peel my shirt off, revealing the top part of the beautiful black lacy set I had bought on impulse.

The decision was a good one, I decide as I see Azriels face as he growls with desire.

I shimmy out of my pants, and Azriel helps, and he just stares at me for a minute afterward, taking it all in.

My cheeks turn red, and I realize he can see all me scars, ever single one.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen the ones littering my arms and legs, but this was different, I was more… vulnerable.

I go to sit up, but he leans forward, kissing me passionately as he runs his hands up the planes of my stomach.

“You’re so beautiful shadow, and I’m never going to let anyone else lay their hands on you again.”  He says after pulling back, and then he goes over and starts kissing where the tattoo from our bargain curls over my shoulder bone.

He undoes the latch on the bra, whipping it off and I gasp, melting into a moan as he lowers his mouth to my breast, taking my nipple into his mouth and rolling it gently with his tongue, teasing the other one with his hand.

He stayed there for a while, building me up until I just couldn’t stand it anymore, reaching for him.

I gasp as both my and his shadows wrap around my wrists, pinning them above my head.

Azriel looks up at me, grinning before he nips at my breast in reprimand.

“I’m gonna take my time with you baby, I’ma make you feel real good.”  He said at my whimper, trailing down and planting kisses as he reached the panties, taking his thumb and pressing lightly through the fabric, making me gasp as he hit that bundle of nerves.

Shadows slither around to my breasts, teasing me and leaving a cold trail in their wake.

Az pulls the panties off, and I have no time to react as he places his mouth on my wet heat, tasting me with little licks.

I moan, hips bucking as his thumb comes up to rub tight circles around my clit.

Even though I had never done this before, I knew that no one else would have ever been able to make me feel this good.

He pulled back, looking up at me as he licked his lips.  “Enjoying the show, shadow?”

Before I can respond, my eyes are rolling into the back of my head as he stuck a finger in me, pumping slowly.

He growled in pure satisfaction as he listened to the noises of pleasure I was making.

After a minute, he stuck another finger in, stretching me out blissfully as he placed his mouth on my clit, licking it teasingly before pulling it fully into his mouth, moaning around me in a way that made me see stars.

Pumping harder, he brought me over the edge, and I cried out his name in bliss, revealing in this new feeling.

He was softer as he pleasured me through the waves of pleasure crashing into me.

I was panting when he pulled away, his shadows freeing me.  He pulled me up against his chest, and looked down at me longingly.  “May I, shadow?”

I whimpered and nodded, and he took a step back, making quick work of undressing. 

My mouth went dry at the size of him.  I wondered if it would even fit, but I knew that I would make it.

He had beautiful tattoos on his chest, and when he stepped closer again, I traces them with my fingers lightly.

His wings flared slightly before they settled behind his back.

I smiled at the dark, beautiful male I could call my own.

“I want to make the bond official.”  I said, looking to his face to gauge his reaction.

His expression softened into something soft, and he smiled a little bit.  “Then we will.”  He said, gently nudging my legs open.

“I would do anything for you Y/N.  Anything to make you happy.”

I glow in his praise, and he slowly nudges at my entrance.  I gasp, wincing a little as he enters me slowly, stretching me out in all the right ways.

“Move.”  I beg, and he chuckles.

“I have to go slow, shadow.  Hold onto me.”  He says, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he slowly pulled out, and then pushed in all the way, making me moan lewdly.

He grinned against me neck as he did it again, and again, going just a little bit faster with each stroke.

I moaned as the shadows came back to my chest again, and azriel used his fingers on my clit as he shifted, hitting me even deeper than before.

“Azriel- Azriel, I’m gonna cum-”  I said through moans, barely able to think straight.

“Good.”  He growled, thrusting harder, if not a little less smooth as he neared his release too.

I spotted his wings, and I remember something Feyre had told me and grinned mischievously.  I reached a hand out, grazing his wings lightly until he gasped, groaning as he thrust into me hard, and we both toppled over into bliss together.

After we rode it out, I shivered and let out another moan as he pulled me off, carrying me into the bathroom to get us cleaned up.

He set me on the counter and started a bath running, and I couldn’t help but admire the way his muscles shifted under his beautiful skin.

He noticed and chuckled, coming back over to place a kiss on my forehead.  “What type of mating celebrations would you like, darling?”  He asked, and I grinned.

I really did have him wrapped around my finger, didn’t I?

“I’m not sure yet, but Nesta sort of invited herself, so I guess we’ll have to invite your brothers and her sisters too.”

He huffed a laugh, pressing a feather light kiss onto my puffy lips.  “We have all the time to decide my little shadow, and I’ll love whatever you decide.”

“Because I love you.”

[bunnydol]

the corn maze

alex the farmer x fem!afab!reader

contents: exhibitionism, public, almost caught, established relationship, dom/sub dynamic, use of “sir”, slight degradation, spanking (f!receiving), spit, choking, piv, fingering (f!receiving), mention of breeding, overstim, ask to tag

w/c: ~2.7k

from the cottage: the corn maze was a big hit this year! odd how all those puddles got in the hay, though. it didn’t rain…

++Love ++Exhibitionism

it had been your idea to open up a corn maze this fall.

granted, it was a hell of a lot of work, given the amount of corn that needed to be grown into an intricate pattern, making sure there was enough hay on the ground so mud wouldn’t permeate through and get everyone’s boots dirty. the preparations had started in late summer, and now, by late fall, your shared side hustle was booming. the young orphan kids all pooled money to take the bus and get out to the farmlands to enjoy the fall festivities, some of the townsfolk drove their way out to see what the two of you had put together.

you huffed as you lugged over one of the last hay bales into the cow feeders, wiping your gloved hands on the front of your dress before walking over to your long-term boyfriend (“s’ already like we’re married, don’tcha think? i can get ya a ring, but yer already my li’l wife.”), peeling your gloves off and holding them out for him to take. “cows are fed. did you feed the dogs?”

“mhm,” alex hummed, taking your gloves and shoving them in the back pocket of his overalls for now. “dogs are fed, horses are gettin’ ready to be turned in. sun’s still high, though.”

you glanced up towards the early dusk sun, the bright orange burning your eyes a bit, but making you smile. “true. and there’s still plenty of people coming in to run around the maze… have you gone in at all yet?”

“hm? no, i haven’t. been too busy makin’ sure everyone paid before going in.'' he took his hat off to run his wide fingers through his hair, keeping it away from his forehead before setting his hat back down.

everything he did was attractive, somehow. “i haven’t been inside either, not since we laid the hay down.” you cocked your head slightly, smiling up at him as you reached for his hand. “you wanna take a try with me?”

“i mean…” he furrowed his brows in thought, glancing over to where the cattle were munching on the fresh hay, where the dogs were barking at a snake slithering under the fencing of the chicken coop. 

“please? we can take a little break, right? we didn’t take one at lunch, so…” you trailed off, flashing puppy eyes at him, and you felt him deflate with a sigh and squeeze your hand. 

“i s’pose we can- woah!” alex let out a grunt as you suddenly yanked him forward, tugging him towards the entrance of the maze you had both worked so hard on. he caught up, of course, smiling down at your happiness as you both stepped onto the well-trodden hay path and started your journey.

in hindsight, you thought as you rounded another corner, and then another, and then another, perhaps you should have drawn a map.

“didn’t we pass that stalk five minutes ago, babe?” alex quipped from behind you as you turned left down a passage you thought you definitely hadn’t been down before, only to find yourself in a clearing completely surrounded by corn stalks on three sides. another dead end.

you groaned and put your head in your hands, turning to face your boyfriend and walking right into his chest on purpose. “we’re lost.”

“we’re not lost, we jus’ took a wrong turn somewhere…” alex mumbled, tipping his chin down to kiss the top of your head. “it’s fine. here, rest up, huh? lemme see if i can take a look over the stalks…”

he put his broad palms on your sides and guided you towards a hay bale that was set up for people that were in your situation, lost and trying to get their bearings from being turned around so many times.

the backs of your knees hit the bale, and you collapsed onto it with a soft oof, dropping your hands from your face to look up at alex as he walked towards the left wall of corn and tried to tug some of it down. “alex, no, c’mon, don’t break the stalks, there’s still a few more weeks of fall…” you whined at him, causing him to give you a look over his shoulder. “we’re lost, babygirl. i don’t give a shit if i tug down a few stalks. we got hundreds more.”

“but i grew these all myself!” you pouted at him, that old brattiness bubbling up as you simmered in your frustration. “don’t be rude, why don’t you put me on your shoulders or something?”

“i can handle it, doll,” he sighed, already sensing in the back of his mind that you were staring daggers at his back as he tugged some of the stalks forward again to see over them.

“alex, seriously, let me get on your shoulders. you’re being stupid, don’t ruin the maze.” you got to your feet, and managed to get two steps in before he turned around and had one of his large hands clasped around your neck. he didn’t squeeze, not just yet, but he grabbed you, effectively scruffing you and making your mouth shut tight.

“i said i got it, baby girl. where’d your attitude come from, huh?” he tilted his head, blocking your eyes from the sun and standing you in his shadow. you saw the glint of his eyes perfectly now, the burning of his red hair under the brim of his hat, the sweat from a day’s work and all the walking you both just did beading at his hairline. 

you swallowed thickly, feeling your throat bob under his hand. “i just don’t want your big hands to tear a new path in the maze. it’s cheating.”

“cheatin’?” he knitted his brows together as he applied a little pressure to the sides of your neck, “what’s cheatin’ is makin’ me wait until all these people get home for me to touch ya.”

your breath hitched as you felt his other hand snake along your side. for a brief moment, you recalled far earlier in the day, when the guests had started to arrive, when he tried to bend you over the porch railing and take you right there. you had pushed him off and promised him later, honey, we’ll get caught out here!

“alex, we can’t, not here, there’s-”

“i bet yer still not wearin’ anything under here, hm?” he glanced down at the hem of your dress, his fingers dancing over it before flipping the skirt up to reveal your bare pussy to him. you hissed from the breeze and squirmed to get away, but he just gripped your throat tighter. 

you knew he could see how you were already getting wet for him.

“we’re lost, ‘member?” he asked, pulling you in close to him, bringing his chest to yours as he studied your face. “i don’t think anyone’s come by this li’l corner since we got in here. think you’ll let me finish what i started this morning?”

you didn’t really get a say, nor were you going to stop him.

he let go of your throat to spin you around to face the hay bale you had been sitting on, pressing his chest against your back to walk you over to it. his broad hand pressed between your shoulder blades, and you were forced forward, hands landing on the gritty straw with a whimper of discomfort. “alex-”

“aht. manners, doll, since ya wanna catch an attitude with me.” his hand came down on your ass over the thin material of your dress, making you gasp and bite down on your lip to try and keep quiet.

“sir,” you breathed out, correcting yourself as you pressed your ass back against the growing bulge in his overalls, “we shouldn’t, we’re gonna get caught! someone’s gonna-” 

“quiet,” he retorted, leaning his weight over you and reaching a hand around to grab your face and squeeze your cheeks between his fingers and thumb. “you keep whinin’ about gettin’ caught, but you just keep on yappin’. why not try moaning instead, baby?”

you whined when you felt him grind his bulge against your pussy over your dress, uncomfortable with the amount of fabric between your pussy and his cock. 

“please,” you whimpered out, but it sounded more like pweath with how he was gripping your face. 

he hummed against your ear as he used a free hand to flip the skirt of your dress up over your hips, revealing your glistening folds to the open air once again. “i know yer a slut, but ya always surprise me.” he managed to lean back just enough to spit onto your drippy hole, making you moan softly and bite down hard on your lip.

then you felt his girthy middle finger protrude into your entrance, and your head started to spin, just as it always did when he started to work you open. 

alex chuckled as your head fell forward and your arms started to struggle with holding yourself up. his free arm came to wrap around your neck, lifting your head back up for you. “there ya go, baby. see? all better. ‘s a good thing we got lost, hm? finally got ya where i wanted ya this morning, all pretty ‘nd bent over ‘nd wet for me.”

his breath was hot against your cheek as his finger pumped in and out of you, curling against the spongy spot he had learned was your favorite (it had took him long enough to find it, the bastard). as you could do was whimper behind your swollen, bitten lip, trying not to cry out to avoid being caught by any of the patrons still wandering the maze. 

one wrong turn by anybody could get you both caught, and the thought sent a thrill down your spine and made you gush as he inserted a second wide finger into your pulsing hole. he curled and scissored his fingers against your gummy walls, laughing quietly at your fucked out expression.

“what, does my baby wanna get caught? always such a whore, wantin’ everyone to see this pretty pussy ‘n this tight ass. better be quiet when i fill you with my cock.”

you moaned before slapping a hand over your mouth, squirming as his fingers curled just right. he flexed his arm around your throat and made you wheeze, your hips bucking involuntarily. 

he was going to be the death of you. 

you whined behind your hand as he pulled his fingers out from you, your pussy clenching around nothing, neglected clit hard and aching. alex used his soaked fingers to fumble with the button and the fly of his overalls, struggling and grunting until he was able to free his fat, leaky cock from the confines of the denim. 

you felt the heat of his heavy cock against your thigh, your mind racing. you always cried out when he managed to push all the way in, the tip of his cock always threatening to bruise your cervix, but you couldn’t this time, not here, in the middle of the corn maze the two of you were hosting.

alex should consider himself lucky you haven’t kicked him away from you (as if you could – you were strong from years of farm work, sure, but alex was wide and far, far stronger than you were. you didn’t stand a chance). 

“gonna be good n’ let me fuck you how i want? gonna stay quiet?” he mumbled into your shoulder, and you managed a nod from over where his arm was wrapped around your neck.

“good,” he purred, his voice dropping even lower as he tapped the drippy head of his thick cock against your entrance, “then keep your pretty mouth shut just this once. don’t get us in trouble.”

his teeth sunk lightly into your shoulder as he bullied his way into your pussy, the head of his cock popping in with a wet sound. your legs were shaking and your breath was caught in your throat, unable to stop the cry that bubbled up behind your hand. 

he pushed deeper, deeper, deeper into you, groaning against your skin. it wasn’t the first time, far from it, but you always felt like it was because of the sheer size of him.

you felt his tip bump against your cervix and his heavy balls smack against your clit, making you twitch harshly. your legs, feeling like gelatin, almost gave out from under you, but lucky enough for you, alex had his arm wound around your neck.

he barely gave you time to adjust before he was pulling his hips back and thrusting hard into you again, starting a brutal pace. he was holding you up, one arm around your neck, his other hand splayed on your stomach to hold you back against him as he railed into you with force.

you slapped both hands over your mouth as you gurgled and moaned behind them, feeling your eyes roll back as his tip kissed your cervix over and over again. it felt like the air was being punched from your lungs.

“ha-ah, that’s it baby girl, just like that, doin’ so well f’ me,” he groaned against your ear, much more quiet and composed than you were.

his balls smacked against your clit over and over, the wet pap, pap, pap of his hips colliding with your ass barely audible over the sound of the wind and the people in the maze chatting with one another.

you squeezed your eyes shut as you felt him grip onto you a little harder; you were close, already on the edge after being spread open by his fingers.

“close already, doll? feel that good? or is it ‘cause we’re outside, fuckin’ like animals? ‘s that it? you like being bred like this? hah?” alex laughed breathily at your trembling form, holding you up as you clenched tightly around him. your head was fuzzy and swimming, lightheaded from being pounded and from feeling like you weren’t getting enough air.

“fuck, yer grippin’ me so tight- you gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over this cock right here, out in the open? c’mon, wanna feel you cum all over me, cum for me, cum cum cum-” he accentuated his words with deep thrusts of his cock inside your leaking pussy, and just as he demanded, you creamed and gushed all over the front of his overalls with a shout muffled behind shaking hands. your whole body shook from the force of how hard it washed over you, your knees buckling once again.

alex groaned into your skin and tucked his nose into the crook of your neck. he didn’t stop – he never did until he could cum inside your little cunt. you whined out loudly behind your hands, the feeling of him fucking into you just as hard and his balls smacking against your achy clit slowly becoming too much to bear.

your squirming seemed to egg him on, however, as the hand splayed on your stomach wrapped around your form to pin you to his chest, keeping you steady on your feet. “gonna cum inside this fuckin’ cunt, yeah, gonna fill that little hole up with my cum, oh g-god-”

it didn’t take him too much longer to moan out into the open air and fill you to the brim with cum, almost immediately forming a frothy white ring around the base of his cock as he fucked it deep into you. you whimpered with him, eyes fluttering and tears cooling against your cheeks. 

alex chuckled softly as he slowly, slowly pulled out of you, softening cock popping out and leaving you clenching around nothing. you shuddered as you felt his cum start to drip from your hole, but his fingers were there to save the day, pushing it back in. “don’ waste it…”

you panted and finally removed your hands from your mouth, turning your head to catch his lips in a kiss. “you’re insatiable.”

“not my fault you got us put in a secluded spot without li’l panties on.” he shrugged, ever relaxed, even now as he held you up from falling.

“how are we supposed to get out now? i can’t walk…” you whined at him, and he chuckled as he tucked his cock away with one hand, using the other to support your weight.

“i know where the exit is. i’ll just carry ya.”

“you knew?!”

[azure-steel]

Meet the Mun.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Yeesh, LOADED question xD Uhm... well I fell in love with Cloud way back in his polygon popeye arms phase when I was around 15 or 16. That moment when he trundled down the stairs on the Hardy Daytona. But like... there's elements of his character that kind of remind me of me that I don't want to go into here tbh. In short I was having a hard time at home when I first took to Cloud, I owe him a lot, and I just pray that I do him justice, you know?

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Not really? I'll have a go at anything. I don't usually know if something is going to bother me or if I'm not feeling it until I'm in the moment. But if that happens I'll let you know :)

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Heh, probably angst tbh. I have this nasty habit of turning the most upbeat thread into a sea of misery if I don't keep myself in check. It's not like I enjoy watching my muse suffer... no... that's a lie OMG. But I love shippy things too, fluff, smut and all that stuff. But the one thing that's key to me is WORLD BUILDING. I love exploring a character's emotions, the things that surround them and how it affects them. Honestly, if I feel stifled in a thread I lose interest pretty fast.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Usually on the fly, as I'm writing replies. It's not something I do often for Cloud considering that his lore is already quite extensive so I don't often feel a need to elaborate on what we already know. It depends really.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

I prefer to have music playing and I like the music to fit the mood of the thing I'm writing. Helps me keep my flow and it blocks out everything around me. I can be easily distracted.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

A bit of both. Totally depends if the thread is plotted or not honestly.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Oh man I LOVE IT. A bit too much to be fair. But I'm a bit shy and I don't want to come off as pushy if I feel like my muse could ship with someone elses so it's not often I'll bring it up like that. There's so many good characters here I would love to ship Cloud with but I'm a damn coward xD

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Saphie or just Saph is fine. It's been my online alias for YEARS now.

ᴀɢᴇ?

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm over the age of 30, so OLD

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

25th of March. Team Sheep!

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

I... don't think I really have one? I do art as a profession so I love all colour I guess.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

Oof, I don't have one to be honest because my tastes change so sporadically. I just love music in general.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Uhm... I want to say Advent Children because that was a movie I specifically put on to watch about a month ago. I'm sure there's been movies on the TV that my husband has been watching and I watched by proxy since then but I couldn't tell you what they are. I have a memory like a sieve...

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Everybody Loves Raymond as I was stuffing my face at breakfast this morning.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

I am currently listening to Who's Side Are You On by Tommee Profitt.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

CAKE, though if it has cheese on it I'm in!

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Anything apart from winter. I hate the cold and I can't look cool walking to work in the snow when I'm slipping around on my face...

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

I do!! @ghostofnibelheim/ @nanakithewarrior/ @roleplay-abiogenesis2 GO FOLLOW THEM!

Tagged: Yeah... I pinched it from @mezzomorendoTagging: Just steal it and say I tagged ya~

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Ask game time! Thanks for the tag, @filmamir!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I keep saying if I do anything noteworthy enough in my life to deserve a wikipedia page, someone has to add me to List of things named after Bernhard Riemann - Wikipedia, so... yes.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday night, and also, longer ago than I remember. Are the tears mine if the sadness isn't? It be like that sometimes.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and thank the powers that be (mostly contraception) for that!

4. What sports do you play/have played?

No real sports, unless highschool PE counts. I was a fervent and pretty skilled skier for a while but my partner is afraid of skiing and its too expensive to go on my own, so it's been years since I did it.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as you'd think. I'm a painfully sincere person much of the time.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I hate to be *that* person, but... their vibe. Fake car salesperson smiles, awkward "haha we will ignore that!" silences, confrontational high-schooler convo style... Some people just have fucky energy, idk what else to say. That said, my actual opinion of people takes a while to form -it's like a committee vote more or less.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue-green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. I can watch unhappy endings if the movie is aesthetic(TM) or it's more about the art or history of the film than the narrative, but if I'm immersing myself in a story-story, the person(s) the narrative makes me root for better fucking make it to a happy end.

I'm very selective about scary movies: they need to be aesthetic, and satisfying.

9. Any talents?

... not... really? I kinda struggle with linking my qualities to "talents". I don't have many (if any) things I'm just "naturally good" at; even skill sets I'm now proud of were not something I ever had a natural aptitude for, and if I developed a skill it was 99% of the time out of necessity rather than enjoyment.

I guess I have... shockingly broad bandwidth for other people's issues. Like... interpersonal exhaustion? I don't know her, man. Mostly due to a combination of voyeuristic enjoyment of knowing and understanding things about others, my sense of empathy being almost entirely generated through fine-grained psych analysis rather than instinct, and the *very* odd given that my own personality temporarily stabilizes when exposed to interpersonal input. I'm not sure that's a talent so much as a condition, though xD

10. Where were you born?

Belgium

11. What are your hobbies?

At the moment, mostly writing Tron fanfiction. I also draw (sometimes), paint and kitbash Warhammer 40k minis (been a while), do metalwork (I need a new welding helm T_T), do gothic and fetish modelling, thrift and collect things for my house, etcetera. I cycle through hobbies mostly. Writing is my most stable one -I dare say I keeps me sane.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a cat! Her name is Meoi (Quenya for "Cat", in honour of Huan and terrible Feanorian naming traditions -retired Silmarillion fan here)

13. How tall are you?

1m70 but most people assume I'm a good bit taller because I'm broad-shouldered and always in 17cm platform stilettos.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Oof. Tough one. I've been out of school for a good long while. The person I was in high-school would have picked physics, followed closely by math. Leaving the following period in the middle (lalala), at uni *in the major I actually graduated from*, my favourites were Architectural Theory, Medieval Image Culture, and Visual Analysis.

15. Dream job?

Oof again. Opinions divided on this one.

I like to say my dream job needs to meet the following criteria:

- I am competent at the job and reasonably regularly get this confirmed by others

- Every day at work I know largely what is expected of me, and what is expected fully falls within my capacity to deliver.

- I have tangible, well-described tasks and goals and never have to "be proactive about finding more work" or "try to look more productive".

- I have good coworkers I get along with, at least professionally.

- No extraneous admin tasks or timesheet micromanagement.

- GOOD PAY

If I'm really ambitious, I would add to that:

- I'm an expert (or just really, really good) at it.

But let's be honest, actual dream jobs Riemann over here has dreamed of having or pursuing? Interior designer/stylist, professional fetish performer/pro-domme, and Enterprise IT Architect.

Yeah.

You see why I stick to bullet point lists.

Tagging... @bowiesinspace @inquisitor-gayfax @clevermird @et-novum and everyone else who feels like it!

[2af-afterdark]

Oof, it's been a hot minute since I've sent you an ask... Sorry 'bout that and also for not sending you any New Year's wishes, irl stuff kept me pretty busy lately. I hope you had fun celebrating! <3

...Admittedly, part of the reason for my absence was that I've also been feeling unpleasantly drained by the Nightmare Pass missions, on top of everything else. I feel a little bad about pretty much coming here and complaining, but I'd like to hear your opinion since you have the Pass activated and I'm f2p, so I wonder how our experiences differ.

I feel like the rewards are.. lackluster, in all honesty. The yellow keys are nice, the frame is pretty... And that's about it. Aside from a small bonus of getting some gems after completing the daily missions, there's really not much to look forward to. It feels like there's far too much effort required and not enough rewards.

Not to mention the missions themselves. God, the missions. I hate the way they work with a passion. The fact that you need to log in daily is fine, the fact that you need to grind a bit is also fine... But then there's shit like "claim a likeability reward" which I'd love to do, except I only have one left over from Andrealphus and still half a Pass to get through. I remember you writing that it feels like being punished for unlocking content, and I completely agree. That's exactly how it feels. I am not going to waste all of my red keys in an attempt to get a new L-grade card since I have all S-grade devils maxed out already.

And speaking of wasting red keys! The "special draw" missions also leave a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. I remember making those single-pulls while sighing deeply because, well, it just doesn't feel like all of the resources I'm consuming are going to be compensated. I spend Solomon's tears, both types of keys, a lot of energy (in-game and irl) and most of the time I get... A few boxes of randomised jellies? That I can get extremely easily through other means? At least make them select-type like the ones in event shops, damn it!

Basically, I'm salty and kind of sad. I love the game dearly, but I think I'm going to give up on the Nightmare Pass. Once I hit a likeability reward mission that I cannot complete, I'm out. The frame is pretty, but getting one from an event shop is going to be way easier and less stress-inducing. I don't want to burn myself out (any more than I already did) by trying to complete it.

So sorry for such a long rant, I ended up getting a bit carried away... I'm really interested in how the effort/reward ratio feels like with a purchased Pass. I'm not really active in the fandom (I pretty much only follow you and the official acc, lol) so I haven't seen people speak about it yet. Hopefully, at least some people have a better time with that hell of an event.

— 💛

So, I used my premium pass from the pre-order rewards on the Nightmare Pass so I could study the way it works from a p2p perspective. I must say, the reward you get in p2p are much better. I received many yellow and red keys, Solomon's Tears, Puddings, Books, Coins, etc. I had unlimited auto-fights in the nightmare dungeon so I can grind coins for the shop easily. Over all, the amount of rewards you get may justify the $60 price tag IF you can afford it and you want the card at the end. Also, this assumes they do this within limited quantities. Like, I would say once every few months at most. Maybe very 2-3 months at most. Still sucks you can only get the card if you're willing to pay out the nose for the rewards. I did look at the f2p rewards and... yeah, not worth it. That is a lot of grinding for very little payoff. I was getting 2-4 reward every day because I was getting the rewards for every tier so it felt more worthwhile.

Also, yeah. I have been playing the game less since the Nightmare Pass started because I was afraid of locking myself out of future requirements for the missions. I had trouble with likability (something I usually max out within 2-3 days of getting a new unit), I was afraid to level up characters and their skills, I wasn't promoting anyone, I wasn't doing anything because I was so afraid I would screw myself by playing the game.

That's why I think Nightmare Pass kind of sucks the most. I felt like I was being punished for having played the game up until this point. Some missions were, as you said, fine. Any missions involving pleasing someone in the Secret Club were fine (not the unholy board because some of those I had maxed out already and it was pain to advance them more). Any missions where I had to fight were good. That I can always do. But missions that have finite end points are terrible (there is a max number of levels characters can have, a max amount of promotions I can do, only so far I can go on an unholy board, likability stops at 100%, characters can only evolve 5 times before they are maxed). Those missions suck because I can screw myself by actually having invested the time into the game before the Nightmare Pass is even out. It actually sucked to basically stop playing this game because I was afraid to play and screw myself out of getting Gabriel.

And the missions are kind of sucky too. Because each stage only unlocks after the previous one is completed, it's hard to know what is coming up and easy to screw yourself. Not everyone has 20ST available multiple times. Not everyone hoards their keys to do the multiple draws over and over again. And having 25 stages that can only be unlocked once daily rather than continuously (since the one mission on each day is to login) it means that if you miss a few days, you are screwed. You can pay to unlock the path with Nightmare Coins, but that assumes you have enough (and each reward gets more expensive as you go).

Overall, Nightmare Pass feels like the kind of event that is aimed toward people who dedicate time to the game to complete the rewards, but those same people can easily get screwed if they put in all that effort too early. The nightmare Pass isn't terrible, but it definitely needs some tweaking. It's the kind of event I would only continue in the future if I really want the card/haven't invested so much I screw myself. Honestly, it feels like the kind of event you finish and only debate purchasing the other rewards after you see how far you've managed to get to see if you can justify the expense.

Also, never feel like you can't rant to me. I rant all the time. Goodness knows I rant all the time... I don't do it because I hate the game. It's me trying to point out issues for others and because I want to see things changed for the better.

[dipperdesperado]

WRITING STORY COLLECTION CHAPTER 12 - Retooling

Sandra looks back from the driver's seat. Fuck. Is everyone okay?

Grohl takes a deep breath. "As good as I can be, given the situation."

Everyone is worse for wear. Riley and Zoe just give a small nod to her.

"We'll be out of the woods soon. Promise," Sandra says, flooring it.

As the tires start to skid on a turn, a couple more military patrol vehicles skirt around the bend.

Sandra looks through the rear view mirror. "Looks like we got company!"

The team looks back and sees the lights from two cars peering back at them.

"Shit! Do we have anything in here to fend them off?" Zoe says.

Her and Riley start frantically looking around in the back.

As the cars start to close the gap, someone leans out of the passenger window with a megaphone. "Pull over! We will not let you get away!"

Fucking hell. Sandra cranes her neck towards the back. "Did y'all find anything?"

"Nothing's in here!" Riley replies.

Grohl starts to climb towards the back. "Look for secret compartments or something. There has to be at least a couple of weapons here."

Holy shit. We're really about to have a shootout. "Has anyone here ever shot a gun before?"

The car is silent. Great.

"Okay, well, if you find one, I'll give you a crash cour-"

The car lurches forward as one of the pursuers ram it.

"They're on us!" Zoe yells.

"Yeah, we know!" Grohl replies. "The fuck are we gonna do?"

"I have an idea, but it could go horribly. If I explain it, you might try to talk me out of it. So, just let me do it."

Zoe looks up from trying to peel back floor panels. "That sounds dangerous and like it could backfire."

"Probably, but it's better than trying to have a shootout with the cops."

"Okay, do it," Riley says. Zoe and Grohl nod.

Sandra nods her head and takes a deep breath. She looks through the mirror and sees the two cars speeding up toward them. Her eyes dart back to the team. "Y'all might want to hold on." She breaks and swerves the vehicle to be perpendicular to the road. The pursuers, still barrelling ahead, try to break but slam into the side of the vehicle. Their cars crumple at the front, with one of the people, the guy who was hanging out, getting flung out. The crash rocks the vehicle, but since it's military-grade transport, it ends up mostly unscathed. The force shakes everyone up, disorienting them for a bit.

"Is everyone okay?" Sandra says, shaking off the dizziness.

Everyone stumbles up. They all give nonverbal cues to let Sandra know they're not dead.

"Great. Let's get outta here."

Sandra drives off as smoke and fire create a blockade on the road behind them.

The team arrives at the hideout from way back before they met the informant.

"We made it, folks!" Sandra says, climbing out of the vehicle.

Zoe jumps out of the back and stretches like she just woke up. "Oof! That was insane. I'm really glad we didn't have to really fight too much with those guys."

Riley and Grohl are right behind her, hoisting a bagged-and-tagged General.

Riley puts one hand on Zoe's shoulder. "Look, if we had to, it would've been fine," He gestures towards Sandra. "We have Lady Liberty on our side!"

"Shut up, and let's go inside."

Once inside, Grohl and Riley affix the General to a chair, and everyone rotates taking showers. Once Grohl, the last person, comes out of the bathroom, everyone else is sitting at a table, with freshly uncanned food. "Oh wow! I don't think I've ever been this excited to see canned beans!" he says, a sly smile on his face.

"Haha. Sorry I wasn't really able to stock up any farm-to-table options, hope this is to your liking," Sandra says, sliding him a can as he sits down.

"Seriously, thanks."

"Okay, so...what next? We definitely can't really pursue the story the same way," Zoe says, swallowing down some beans.

Sandra shifts in her seat. "Well...I was thinking about it...and it seems like...we're going to need some backup."

Grohl squints. "Back up? Like what?"

"We should go talk to the Blades."

"Whoa whoa whoa. Those guys are actual terrorists!" Riley says, standing up.

Sandra laughs. "Yeah, 'terrorists' who actually saved our lives the last time we were in a pinch... I mean, why were we so willing to take him," she says, gesturing to the General. "But a group that's fighting the system directly is too extreme?"

Zoe gestures at Riley to calm down. "I mean, we're probably already considered terrorists at this point."

Grohl groans.

Sandra's eyes light up. "Exactly! And this way-"

"Whoa whoa", Zoe says, stopping Sandra. "I still have my reservations. I mean, I barely remember them getting us out of that prison, but I still don't want to know if we should go in that deep!"

"What?! What I'm telling you is that we are already that deep. I mean, ask the guys we've beat up, the two cars that crashed into us."

Grohl chimes in. "It's one thing to escape. It's another thing to attack." Riley and Zoe nod.

"But if we don't attack, then we're going to get attacked!" Sandra says, now standing up herself.

"I hear ya, but I just figure there's another way to broach this." Riley says, shrugging.

"So all of y'all feel this way?"

Everyone nods.

Fine. "Okay. how about this. We go to the Blades, connect with them, and see if they can help us out. Even if we don't work with them directly, it's better for us to have them in our corner than to not. Is that cool?"

After a small huddle, the rest of the group gives their approval. Sandra smiles.

"I do have a question." Grohl says.

"This feels like it's going to be more of a statement, but go on."

"Why don't we just connect with Liberty? I'm sure they could help us out."

"Liberty's vibe is more subterfuge and self-defense. The Blades are more diverse in their tactics."

Zoe sighs. "That makes me worried again."

Sandra shrugs. "I feel like we'd rather need that energy and not have it than have it and not need it. Anyway, let's get some sleep... we'll head out in the morning to meet them."

"Good morning," a soft voice says, almost like a dream.

...huh? Sandra gets a tang of iron in her nostrils and jolts up. Sitting next to her bed is SLASH, in their full glory. Sandra reaches behind herself, to try and grab something from under the bed.

"Hey hey, there's no need for that. I just wanted to talk."

Sandra sights. I probably couldn't take them anyway. "What-how are you here?"

"I had a feeling that your crew would do something insane eventually, so I've kept tabs. You all went dark for a bit until you ended up somehow getting to that research facility."

"How'd you know where we were?"

"A story for another time. Either way, with all of the noise you all have made, I'm not so sure you can go back to your normal routine. With that in mind, I'm hoping we can work together, since our goals are more aligned than ever."

"The enemy of my enemy...Interesting."

"Well?"

"Good thing I just convinced the team to work with y'all. I had the same idea--let's work together!"

"Great. Really your people, and meet us outside in an hour. Grab whatever supplies you want or need--we're going to have to raze this site."

"Raze??"

"This place is compromised now...you've probably come back to this place too many times. You'll need to find another base."

"Fuck. Okay. And what do you mean, we?"

"Some of the other Blades are taking care of that transport vehicle... You left a trail... and so we're going to help clean it up."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. Meet us outside, in a few. And...take another look at that military guy you have locked up...he wasn't looking too good when I came in."

Sandra nods.

[ao3feed-tedlasso]

Against Better Judgement

by rockinhamburger

“We know each other well enough to be on a first name basis, Ted. You don’t need to call me Doc. Just Sharon is fine.”

Ted’s eyes widen. “Well, Just Sharon, I’ll do my best! But I’m pretty used to that cool nickname of ours, so bear with me while I get with the change, Just Sharon.”

The odd thrill she’s felt since her first interaction with Ted returns with a vengeance. He is every bit the witty, quick, fun, slightly infuriating person he’s always been.

“Have your jokes gotten worse over the summer?” she asks innocently.

Ted grabs his chest like he’s been mortally wounded. “Oof, I’ve been heckled!”

Sharon returns to Richmond for another season. Everything goes really well. That’s the problem.

Words: 7659, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Dr. Sharon Fieldstone, Ted Lasso

Relationships: Dr. Sharon Fieldstone/Ted Lasso

Additional Tags: Romance, Falling In Love, intense romcom vibes, Sharon seeing through Ted like she's got x-ray vision, and vice versa, Ted torturing Sharon with zingers, and obscure references very specific to a 40-year-old white man from middle America, "fellas is it ethical to date someone who used to be your therapist?", not a quote in the fic

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/45498364

[parkerflix]

about love

wc: 1.14k (i’m so sorry it’s long)

a soft lofi song was playing in the background, and you walked up to the counter seeing a smiling felix standing there.

a soft lofi song was playing in the background, and you walked up to the counter seeing a smiling felix standing there.

a soft lofi song was playing in the background, and you walked up to the counter seeing a smiling felix standing there.

“hey yn! i didn’t know you were coming in today! is there anything that you’d like to order? it’s on the house!” he said, giggling a bit and giving you his big smile.

a soft smile made its way on your lips “thanks lix, but i texted hyunjin about it and he said he was gonna make them.”

his smile faltered a little (not that you noticed) and he nodded his head. “got it. well if you need any snacks i can grab them for you.”

“thanks felix, i think i’m okay for now but thank you for being willing to help.”

before he could say anything, hyunjin came around , carrier in hand with the drinks.

“here you go cupcake, it’s on the house.”

you locked eyes with him, both mimicking the crescents on each other’s face. felix cleared his throat, a little uncomfortable watching hyunjin and you have a little moment with each other. you grabbed the carrier and thanked both hyunjin and felix before walking out of the cafe towards your car.

placing everything into the front seat (making sure to use all your cup holders for the drinks), you drove to changbin’s house, thankful it was only about a 8 minute drive from the cafe.

changbin’s house was quaint, and you were surprised that he could even afford a house at his age. lolo had never really mentioned 3racha and what it is they exactly do, but you assumed they were successful enough that they were decently well off.

you got out of your car & knocked on the door as best you could, juggling the drinks and snacks, grateful that hyunjin gave you a carrier. the door swung open, a guy with blonde hair and a fitted black tee staring at you.

“oh thank god you’re here i was thinking it wasn’t that hard to find this place but this world is full of incompetent people like yourself.”

you were stunned for a second before rolling your eyes at him.

“so where’s the pizza? don’t tell me you at the entire pizza.”

the nerve of this guy, you thought. you peered into the house, noticing lolo checking her phone, presumably waiting for a message from you.

“actually, i’m not the pizza person. obviously. i’m here to watch the practice.”

the boy gave you a once over which made you slightly self conscious.

“ah so you’re lolo’s friend? i thought you’d look… different.”

“yeah well, sorry to disappoint. can you let me in now?”

“not until you introduce yourself.”

you sighed, completely annoyed at this point just wanting to make it inside. “i’m yn, can i go in now?”

he finally moved to the side, letting you in. you quickly slipped off your shoes and went into the living room.

lolo looked up from where she was on the couch, changbin’s head on her lap while one of her hands absentmindedly played with his hair. she smiled as soon as she saw you, ignoring the scowl that had made it across your face. you sat down on the floor next to her, mumbling a hello when changbin greeted you.

“so did you get my snacks?” lolo said, leaning forward almost pushing changbin off of her in the process. it took a second for him to regain his balance as he nearly fell, before glaring at lolo.

“yes i did, and i got your drinks just like you requested.” handing her the bag with the snacks and drinks.

she took the bag put it on changbin’s stomach which made him let out an “oof!” before she pointed to the carrier.

“and what’s in there?”

as you opened your mouth to answer, the boy from the door and another boy came around and sat down across from you.

“they’re the drinks. i got one for jisung, chan and i.”

you pulled out one that had the name on the side, in hyunjin’s nice handwriting. ‘chan’ it read.

“chan?” you said staring at the two boys. much to your luck, the boy that answered the door raised his hand and as you passed it to him, he slightly tugged on it, making it almost spill.

you went back and pulled out another, before nothing that it had ‘jisung’ written on it with a smiley face.

you looked at jisung, who hadn’t introduced himself to you and saw that he seemed shy. you handed him his drink, which he took from your hands gently. “thank you, yn” he mumbled, almost so quiet you didn’t hear.

you nodded, finally pulling out your drink, seeing that hyunjin wrote a little note on your drink. “to the prettiest girl ever, remember we’re still on for tonight!” you smiled at that, butterflies erupting in your chest.

chan took a sip of his drink before clapping his hands. “okay, now that everyone’s here, let’s get to work.”

their practice had taken some time, but you spent most of it talking to lolo or just playing on your phone. they rehearsed their set list for the gig that they had in two days, fine tuning anything that needed to be done.

they had finally finished, and you started gathering all the trash of all the snacks and drinks laying around. as you went to the kitchen to throw them away, you heard a pair of foot steps behind you. you turned around only to see jisung standing there, eyes wide and a small smile on his face.

“hi. i’m sorry i haven’t officially introduced myself to you but im jisung.”

he held out his hand for you to shake it and you did.

“jisung, i know who you are. you don’t need to be so nervous or anything like that.”

“oh, that’s good then. well i was wondering since practice is over, do you want to go out for some food?”

“thank you for the offer, but i’m meeting up with someone after this.”

“okay then” he scratched his neck clearly feeling a little awkward “could we maybe do it another day? you just seem cool.”

you nodded and turned around, putting the trash away. “yeah, as long as you don’t hit on me the entire time.”

“noted.”

“i’ll text you when i’m free.” you glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing hyunjin’s shift had been over for a while.

“oh shit, i gotta run but we’ll make plans okay?” you quickly went passed him, pausing “by the way jisung, you’re cooler than what i thought you’d be.”

and with that you grabbed your stuff and rushed to meet hyunjin, leaving behind a blushing jisung.

•••

six- 3racha practice

previous | masterlist | next

•••

taglist: open! send an ask!

a/n: the last ss of jisung’s messages, yn has not seen yet! send me your thoughts, questions anything!

•••

taglist! @marsophilia @happy-at-home @dayawantstosleep @90s-belladonna @uwustaytiny @hiy-breadcheeks @itsyaapollochild @skzooo @rindomo @napalmskiez @freckledquokka @bubblegumji @unexceptional-h

if your name is in bold i cannot tag you!

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 12 - The Development, Pt. II

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: TW!!! Mentions of depression/anxiety, lack of appetite and suicide; jealousy (the reader is Angry™️); talks of (unwanted) pregnancy and miscarriage (cult activities).

Summary: Who would've thought a dinner and a bouquet of flowers would ever bare bad omens?

Word Count: 5.588

Author's Note: I apologise for the repost! I forgot to do my taglist + the tags didn't work for me so let me try this again. This is a whole chunk of angst and nothing more. I'm sorry about this but it is going to get darker :')

Enjoy!

gif credit: winterswake

"Oof, this wasn't your greatest idea, you know that right?" You sighed anxiously, hands on your hips.

"I've done many things that weren't so great, sweetpea," Joel wiped his wet hands on the cute little apron around his waist after he put the vegetables he had cut into the bowl which was on the counter next to the cutting board: "We both know it, but this totally ain't one of 'em."

He carried another bowl to the dining room where you stood, gave your exposed neck a brief kiss as he passed by. Kiki and Ward were going to arrive anytime now for Joel's infamous dinner plan. When he put the bowl down, he scanned the table with a puzzled expression: "Why are there two more plates?"

You leaned your weight on one leg as you grabbed the edges of the chair, which stood at the head of the table: "I... invited Tommy and Maria over, too–"

Joel's expression made you feel guilty: "(Y/N)."

"What?" You spoke defensively, a nervous expression on your face and tone to your voice. "It was going to be awkward as shit otherwise."

"You don't know that," He growled. "Not when you pull stunts like this."

"I don't care," You emphasised each word, exhaustion present in your stance. "Better safe than sorry, Joel."

He nodded disapprovingly and walked back to the kitchen as you stood there, your head hanging with a sigh. You slowly raised it up, hands on your hips again, then turned your head to the side just enough for him to hear you over the sound of the steamer: "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not," He said when he walked past you, carrying the last piece of dish to the table. His anger wasn't for nothing, you accepted what you did was an ass move.

"You're right." You huffed, which made him look at you. "I'm not sorry for inviting Tommy and Maria over, but I am sorry for upsetting you."

His tense stance eased slowly at your words, then he proceeded to mirror your chair holding pose, huffing quietly: "Well, one of us is gon' have to eat less, I'm more worried about that."

"I'll gladly volunteer, I lost my appetite." You rubbed your eyes, which sported dark circles underneath them– which worried Joel.

He stepped closer to you, reaching for your hip with his dominant hand and began rubbing soothing circles there: "No. You eat. Don't think for a second I didn't notice how you started eatin' less." This whole ordeal was getting to you more than you cared to admit. It had been eight days since your decision to arrange dinner with them, but it clearly didn't escape Joel's notice. You looked down, ashamed, running a hand through your hair nervously: "Hey, look at me," Joel gently took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head up, his nose inches away from yours. The three knocks on your door didn't stop him from saying: "You're worryin' over nothin', sweetheart. It's gonna be alright."

"We'll see," You looked into his eyes with a blank stare, gulping, giving his hand a light squeeze before walking to the door, collecting yourself in the meantime. From the small windows on the door, it wasn't hard to tell the brunette couple had arrived. You took a deep breath as you opened the door with a sincere smile: "Hello there– Come in, welcome."

"Hi!" Kiki grinned and Ward just offered an awkward resemblance of a smile.

After escorting them to the living room, you spoke: "Joel's getting finished in the kitchen, then we can have dinner."

"Joel's cooking?" Kiki gave you an alien look. It wasn't a my goodness what a man I bet he cooks real fine tone, but more a genuinely confused one.

"Uhm, yes?" You lightly flinched but smiled still, equally confused at her question. Giving a brief look at Ward, you noticed how he was staring hard at her and she was pointedly ignoring him. "Don't worry, he actually cooks better than me... haha."

You stared into each other's eyes for five seconds, both of your irises reflecting a pair of question marks at each other, then she let out an odd laugh: "Oh! If you say so... What a beautiful garden you got– Lots of flowers."

"Why, thank you," You smiled a little nervously. "I like taking care of flowers and plants..."

"Oh really? I do– did too, once upon a time..." Kiki did an exaggerated smiley face. "I should bring you some, then!"

"That's very kind of you," You felt yourself soften a little at her words. "Well, how have you both been? Feeling like you two are fitting in? I hope people aren't giving you trouble."

"Oh," Kiki looked at Ward for the first time, who's gaze was focused on you now. "No, I think we started to fit in better–" Ward nodded in agreement, his head turning in her direction: "Gets better every day."

"That's good news," You quietly huffed out a breath of relief, nodding at her words, which was when Joel walked in to greet them, and also when there was another pair of knocks on the door. This time, thank God, it was Tommy and Maria.

The dinner went without a hitch, to say the least. Although it had it's awkward moments, Tommy and Maria always picked it up one way or another. Delicious meals were eaten and wines from your collection with Joel were opened– it was pleasant to a certain degree. You and Joel sat across each other on the other ends of the table, Maria and Tommy sat to your left while Kiki and Ward sat to your right. Kiki was seated by your side, but she mostly had her attention on your husband. She didn't drink, but Ward did, and after his second glass, he seemed to relax more.

When it was time to carry all the plates back to where they came from, Joel and you carried the first party. When you placed them in the sink, and he on the counter, he softly grabbed your hand: "See? Wasn't that bad, was it?"

It sort of was, for you anyway, as much as you tried to calm your nerves with the wine: "Thanks to Tommy and Maria, yeah." Joel sighed through his nose and looked away for a moment: "What?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning." Joel let your hand go, but didn't move away.

"What is there to talk about?" You spoke, frustrated, your arms opening slightly in a gesture. Right then, your eyes moved over his shoulder to the doorway. He turned around to see it was Maria with two of the rect platters in her hands.

"Joel, why don't you go back? (Y/N) and I'll handle it from here." She spoke as she walked over to where you two were, then placed the platters on the counter. He gave you one last look before nodding and walking back inside. As soon as he left, Maria stood very close to you and turned on the water: "You wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

"Not really," You quickly started to wash the plates and she helped with the leftovers.

"(Y/N)," Maria spoke more seriously. "There's obviously something wrong–"

"I didn't say there wasn't, I just don't wanna talk about it right now." You said, turning your head to her a little but not looking her in the eyes. "Please, Maria, I appreciate you and your concern, but–"

"Mind if I help?" Kiki suddenly appeared with more service in her hands, startling you both.

"Not at all," Maria replied in your stead. "I'll leave you two to it, I need to use the bathroom."

You closed your eyes, exhausted, then begged for patience as Kiki replaced Maria's place next to you. She kept a distance, which you also appreciated. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke: "The food was delicious, I'm surprised Joel helped you prepare all of this."

You tried– God knows your tried not to look for a double meaning behind her words, but you failed: "Well, as I said, he cooks better than me."

"No, I mean, he just really helps you around, y'know? Serving, preparing, cleaning..."

You turned to face her, closing the sink, and took a proper look at her: "What's so weird about it? We're partners– Married– There's no helping out, we do it together, as it should be."

"Oh, don't get me wrong," She said after a while, her smile unsettling. "It's just that, I always do the cooking, and preparing, and cleaning. That's what I was taught, while Ward..."

You bit down on your tongue hard as you finally understood what she was getting at, the realisation making you blink once and long, then look away. A silent oh left your lips while you thought about how to respond, forcing a small smile to your lips: "Well... Uh– Why don't you go back, I'll take it from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got this, you're our guest, after all."

She smiled and nodded, heading back. As soon as she turned around you let out a silent, heavy breath, looking a little bewildered and disturbed at the things she had said. You stood still for a few moments, then ultimately decided to wash your face, so you took it up to the bathroom.

When you woke up the next morning, you had a mild headache from the wine, no doubt. Joel was nowhere to be found, which had you worried for a second, then you realised it was near noon. After washing your face, you dragged yourself downstairs and once you made it to the kitchen, you found Tommy, Eugene and Joel sitting quietly at the table.

"Mornin' princess," Eugene grinned at you, a cup in his hand. Joel and Tommy had more serious, even a little worried looks on their faces.

"Hey," You waved at them and dragged your feet to the cupboard where you kept your coffee, only to find you had ran out of the beans.

"How're you feelin'?"

"I'm fine... What kinda question is that?" You chuckled.

The brothers shared a brief look before Tommy slowly got up, walked towards the island counter and leaned against it with his elbows: "Listen, (Y/N), we're all a bit worried about you."

"I'm not!" Eugene said clearly. "I mean, I am, but not in the way they are– What's going on with you and the newcomers?"

You stared at the brothers, hard, then turned to Joel: "Is this the new town gossip, then?"

He huffed, crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat: "It ain't nothin'. We were talking about last night," He gestured between himself and Tommy. "Eugene overheard, expressed his own worries 'bout them and wanted to talk to you."

You felt so exposed –out in the open– with the spotlight moving onto you once more. Your eyebrows furrowed as Joel held your gaze for a while, the other men too scared to interfere; until Eugene spoke: "Look, (Y/N), I get what worries you, even if these two bimbos will say there's nothing wrong. I'm here to vouch for ya."

"Thanks," You shrugged and nodded. You felt embarrassed at the three pairs of eyes waiting for a response from you– speaking to Eugene alone about what actually worried you would've made you feel much better, but you just told them about the interactions between you and Kiki. The more you spoke, the more frustrated you got, which ironically made you close up more.

"Which reminds me," He said some time after you mentioned her offer to bring you a flower. "Do you have, uh, mugwort in your garden?"

The abrupt change of topic caught you off guard, but you still said yes, I think so and walked out from the back door, the old man tailing you. The sun immediately burned down on your skin, but a gentle breeze lightened the load on your shoulders as it accompanied you to the edge of the garden.

"Look, I don't actually need mugwort," He said when you sat down on your knees. "If you wanna say something to me that you think they won't understand, now's your chance."

You moved on with your digging quietly while he waited, then finally, without looking at him and venom dripping from every word you spoke, you sighed: "Kiki has eyes for Joel."

Eugene coughed loudly at your cold words, a hand on his chest: "Shit, (Y/N)..."

"Everyone, including Joel, seems oblivious to this– I'll probably get accused of petty jealousy if I tell them, but since you've had your fair share of weird run-ins with her, I think you should know."

He remained quiet for awhile as you worked with the plant, then finally huffed: "That's not a jealous face from what I can see, it's the face of a woman who's sensing something's gonna go wrong."

You finally looked up at him, your cold expression turned soft because of his sympathy, then looked back down: "I'm losing sleep over some stupid– bitch– God, I was... I've been trying to convince myself that it's nothing, but–"

"It's not nothing, (Y/N)." Eugene spoke firmly, grabbing your shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Something's clearly not right with those two, and you've a right to get worried, 'cause I'm guessing it's not just Joel you're worried about."

You gulped, wiped some sweat off the corner of your brow with your wrist, then nodded.

"Well," He took the plants from your hands. "Thanks for this, and, just know that you're not alone. If you ever wanna talk more about this, you know where to find me. Don't be a stranger."

You did pay Eugene a visit a few days later to talk more about them. You felt more comfortable talking to him alone, and you were talking to him because you didn't want to add more to Joel's tension and strain your relationship again. It also felt good to just talk about the whole thing and have someone who understood you.

You had told him that you had no doubts about Joel's intentions, but about Kiki's and hers alone. He had told you he understood and told you that his door was always open if you needed to talk again, so you went to him a second time in a cool afternoon after Kiki had appeared out of nowhere.

"Flowers! As promised!" She smiled brightly, giving you a tiny bouquet of mixed, yellow flowers.

"Oh, wow," You carefully took the bouquet from her, smiling at the sight and feeling genuinely happy for a moment that she actually did something like this. "Thank you, Kiki."

"Don't mention it," She smiled sincerely and initiated smalltalk, then went about her business. After you closed the door, however, reality came crashing down.

You went to see Eugene then: He had just returned from patrol, so the moment you saw him, you grabbed him and went back to your house. A very old book you owned, The Meanings of Flowers, laid on the dinner table while you sat at the head of the table again, the older man to your right. Beautiful flowers rested above the book, a pair of each: Carnation, hyacinth, marigold, rose and tansy. You already knew the names of the most thanks to your free time activities, so finding them in the book wasn't particularly hard.

"Damn, (Y/N), you're really gettin' into this, aren't you?" Eugene said when you first explained and laid the flowers in front of him as he sat down.

You read through the pages and sat across him. "I think... I have, uh– What if she's asking for help?"

"How do you mean?" He gave you a look, and when you stared at him a while, he slowly got what you were saying. "You... think that too?"

"It's so obvious," You sighed, a sad expression on your face. "It's the only logical explanation for the way she responds to physical touch. There's more to it than what Ward told me about their past."

"You're right," He huffed, troubled. "Alright, let's see what carnation means."

"Each colour represents something different, but yellow..." What you read made you tense up.

"What?"

"Disdain."

You gave each other a look, then you continued to other flowers: "Hyacinth– Yellow hyacinth is... jealousy."

"Do these even grow in Wyoming?" Eugene was as disturbed as you were. You just shrugged, but you were thinking more about how she came to find these in the first place.

"Marigold– Jealousy, despair... Rose, yellow– Jealousy and..." You gasped shortly, eyes widening at the word.

"What, what is it?" Eugene turned the book to himself a little and his eyes widened slightly as well.

Infidelity.

"Maybe... Maybe tansy means something else?" Eugene flipped the pages as you burned a hole through the table, stunned where you sat. "Hostile thoughts, declaring war... Shit."

He stared at you as you slowly raised your head up and gave him a nasty look, whispering angrily: "Who... Who does she think she is?"

"(Y/N), I– I don't," Eugene knew, like yourself, that this could've been just pure coincidence, but all of the flowers representing almost exactly the same things inevitably had him worried and at a loss for words.

"That little bitch–" Your fists flexed into a fist, your brows drawing together, creating deep lines on your forehead.

"Don't freak out," Eugene grabbed your elbow in a calming gesture.

"She wants him–? She wants a war? I'll give her something worse, she'll regret ever setting foot in–"

"What's going on?" In between your heartbeat ringing in your ear and loud, angry words, you didn't hear Joel come in. Your head snapped towards him, eyes wide open and angry, then turned your head away towards Eugene.

"I think it's best if you sit down." The older man said uncomfortably.

He obliged, never looking away from you as he did. He was clearly worried, careful, but also cross; it wasn't hard to tell, and you had hoped he wouldn't see what you were up to, but alas...

"You know who brought me these?" You asked, focused at something outside the window.

"I have an idea." His eyes were burning through the side of your face, the tension crushing everyone in the room.

You chuckled bitterly. "You must think I'm crazy."

"I think no such thing," He growled, offended by your accusation. "You don't sleep well, you don't eat– Your worryin's making me worry!"

"The thing is, Joel," Eugene intervened. "She has a right to worry."

He finally looked at him with an exhausted expression: "What?"

"Each of these flowers have meanings in this book right here," He tapped the book. "And they're not good meanings at all."

"See? This is what worries me," He leaned back, crossing his arms. "You're gonna check everything she does or gives?"

"So you want me to stay oblivious to– to things, while Ward is probably physically absuing his wife?" You snapped, your head turning in Joel's direction to meet his quizzical expression. You got up from your chair, leaning in with your hands on the table: "If she was meaning to send a message to us with these flowers, asking for help, and we ignored it? That'd be on me."

"How could it possibly be on you?" He replied angrily. "How would she know that you'd– decipher this message?"

"I told you that I told her about–"

"Enough!" Eugene growled. "She sent her a message, despite what could be happening in their household." You sighed heavily and turned your head to the side, Joel glancing at Eugene as he continued: "All these flowers have one thing in common, Joel, and it's that they've bad meanings. This one?" He held up the marigold: "Jealousy. This one?" The hyacinth: "Also jealousy. And this?" The rose: "Jealousy... as well as infidelity."

Joel leaned back, an irked look on his face: "Wh– What?"

"Tansy– Hostile thoughts." He coughed into his fist as he put the flower down.

"So don't sit there–" You looked at him again, leaning in with your head: "And tell me that I'm worrying over nothing. Just because you have no clue about what's going on around you, doesn't mean it's not happening." You gulped, the barbed wire around your throat present once more, then picked up the book and closed it: "Thanks, Eugene."

He just nodded with a concerned look on his face and watched you walk upstairs. Joel, stunned in place, didn't say a word as the older man got up, tipped his head at him and left. He sat there for some time, by himself and stared at the beautiful flowers. He hadn't seen you like this since the Axel case– sure, you both had ups and downs but it had never gotten this bad since then. To prevent another fall out, he knew this time he had to be a little more alert for both of your sakes, if your accusations were indeed true.

But you both needed to co-operate if something was going to be done about this.

It was close to a week later when Ward opened up again.

Joel and you were a bit tense, even after when he suggested the next day after the flower incident that you both went to Maria to change your patrol schedules. She had said Joel only had one more patrol left with Kiki, while you still had three to go with Ward, which was okay for you especially after you found out that Joel's last patrol with Kiki was a group sweep which involved you too.

Joel was more than relieved too, thinking maybe change of patrol partners will finally ease the tension between you and him, but it seemed you'd remain upset until that last patrol was over with, which was the day after your current patrol with Ward.

You were taking a different route this time, on horseback and it was in the afternoon, a chill breeze was present which took the burning feel of the slowly setting sun off your shoulders. The trees were offering shield from the sun with their shadows, too.

"I overheard people talking about you and Joel."

"Really?" You rolled your eyes. "What were they saying?"

"Something about... having a child."

You turned your head and gave him a stern look, but it wasn't directed at him, then you sighed, the grip you had on your reigns tightening: "It's none of their business."

"Exactly what I told them."

"What?" You turned to face him again, the whip of your head smoother than before, and your voice was softer– surprised.

"I told them to stop talking about something which wasn't their business," Ward casually explained. "They then told me that I had no business listening to them, so I threatened to break their jaw if they didn't shut up."

"Ward..." You gave him a look of disapproval.

"Kidding," He offered a small smile. "Leave out the threatening bit, but it did cause a little argument. Maria was there though... organising this event that's coming up. She defended you, too."

You hadn't taken him to be the type to stand up for people he didn't exactly know: "Ward I–"

"Sorry though, don't know who they were–"

"Thank you."

He blinked, equally surprised at the smallest smile on your lips: "Oh, well..."

"Not many people would do that, I appreciate it," Your grip loosened and you allowed yourself to relax a little. "People tend to get ahead of themselves sometimes."

"Inconsiderate, that's what they are." He growled, but his face was thoughtful and troubled exactly like when he told you of his background. "It just– Gets on my nerves. This whole... baby talk."

"You and mine both," You huffed. "It's just funny how people who have almost no connections to me and Joel talk about it, when him and I haven't even put it out on the table yet." It was true. Neither of you had even said the word out of its nickname context.

"I just hope they won't force you to have one."

You turned your head to him with slightly wide eyes: "How do you mean?"

He remained quiet for a while, probably debating on whether he should share what he meant or not – if he should listen to his needs and get it off his chest, or add more to the bottle when there was no space left in it. He finally spoke: "Kiki had to lie, so that they wouldn't separate or punish us. I was too... paralysed to speak when she said We want to have children out of nowhere. Said that it was the only reason why we decided to date and get married. We had been together for just five months."

A sick lie to get out of an equally sick situation, which normally would've made you feel sick, but in this fucked up world and having done the equally fucked up shit you did, you couldn't bring yourself to feel nauseous; however, it did make a shiver run down your spine, the situation reminding you of the Seraphites in Seattle when an escapee had arrived in Boston, months after the fall of that QZ. She had told horrifying stories about how her and five other people had barely made it past them: They had witnessed 'religious sacrifice's, and the manslaughter from The WLF hadn't helped their case either... She had committed suicide a month after her arrival in Boston.

"By then we started to regret our decision more, because they were forcing us to– To have a child–"

"Hey, look, you don't have to tell me–"

"We lied–" He continued, feeling though as if he wasn't going to get another chance to open up again. "For a long time, it was maybe we're not lucky enough, or God's not willing. They... They went as far as to consider fucking exorcism, and it was all on Kiki, and her alone."

You thought for a moment he was going to cry, with the way his face scrunched up, but he kept going angrily: "I told them it could be biological, they told me she was cursed... I told them, maybe the problem was me, they insisted it was her... Until they finally needed proof that we were actually– You know–"

"God," You quietly gasped.

"I don't– We tried to break up, to end the madness, but they wouldn't listen. I had never touched Kiki other than kisses and hugs, while we were lying to them about– She was a virgin and so was I–"

He stopped for a brief moment when his horse whinnied, you were getting closer to the tall walls surrounding Jackson, then continued hesitantly: "She– finally got pregnant, after a whole year of deceiving them, but the stress of it got to her, I think. She... she miscarried." He gulped, closing his eyes tightly, an unpleasant look on his face. "You can imagine how it was received around the community– We had to run, you see, so we did."

You had reached the gates by then, it was Joel who was at the watchtower and waved at you as you waited for the doors to open. You waved back with a worried look on your face, which he must've spied through his binoculars. After bringing the horse into the stables and handing back your rifles, you stopped him. It was unusually quiet and empty around the southern gate, which was normally empty anyway: "Listen, I just wanna say–"

Before you knew it, a stuck gasp left him. His back was to you, so at first you thought he saw something, but as soon as you stepped to his side: "Ward," He was crying. "Oh– Hey, it's okay..."

He whimpered until he ran out of breath, covering his face with his hands. You didn't know how to react, internally panicking and carefully studying his body language, while feeling like a dick about it. You slowly and carefully put a hand on his back, and at the touch, he immediately collapsed by your feet. He was weeping now, and too close for comfort. You quickly looked around to see if anyone was there, only to find out not a single soul was in your line of sight, except for the slowly and suddenly approaching figure of your husband.

"Ward, get up," You lightly shook him by the shoulder to get his attention, but this only resulted in him leaning closer to your legs. You raised your head to see Joel had come to a stop a couple of feet away from where you stood: "Get. Up."

"You said– You said–" He struggled with trying not to cry and breathing at the same time.

"I said there is a group session if you needed to talk," You spoke, defeated, feeling Joel's burning gaze on your eyelids. "I'm sorry for what happened. I really am, but you need to get up."

He looked up at you to meet your stern, pitying gaze, then wiped at his tears. He nodded a couple of times and slowly got up, sniffling quietly. Without saying another word –even though he looked like he wanted to– and sparing you another look, he readjusted his backpack and walked away as if nothing happened. You stood there and watched him leave with your hands on your hips, then let out an exhausted sigh. You were just thankful that you weren't murdered for the most part, irked because of his sudden breakdown, but you also felt like shit scolding him as you did.

"You wanna tell me what the hell was that all about?" Joel. And he neither sounded pleased nor amused.

"You think I have an idea?" You gave him a hopeless look. "Man just– Suddenly told me the rest of his story and broke down, I don't–" Joel stood with his arms crossed, within your 6 feet radius, but there was nothing soft about it.

He was expecting an explanation, and an explanation he got: "That, Joel? That's what fucking scares me! I hear the shit they went through and I listen to it, waiting for the time he's going to get to the part where I did something to him or someone he cared for– waiting for the time they're going to shoot me or stab me– or you! And then they get like– like that, or do something nice to us, and suddenly I feel like an asshole because they're not bad people in the end, they just need some fucking help!"

You breathed heavily as your hands remained open at your sides after all the gestures and motions, your chest rising and falling very obviously as small sweat and tear droplets rolled down your face: "And they're seeking help in all the wrong places, from the most unsuitable people. I don't know about you, but I'm not mentally capable of taking their load while I have my own to deal with."

Joel took in a short amount of breath, as if to speak, but immediately closed his mouth. He stared into your eyes for what felt like 30 minutes, searching for something– you weren't quite sure what. He looked angry, upset, worried and heartbroken all in the same time.

Finally, when he couldn't speak, you added: "If anything happened to me, I could live with that." You spoke calmly, nodding curtly: "But if anything happens to you? I'll tear this whole goddamn town apart and make sure they can't find a place to hide from me."

Your fidgeting, unfocused eyes suddenly found Joel's hazel ones; you saw through all the anger, fretting and upset at that moment.

It was such an adoring, lovely gaze– Bit by bit, it drained you of all the hate and other ugly emotions pressing down your shoulders; a great sense of solace overcoming you as his big, warm hand cupped your jaw. He leaned in to steal the softest of kisses from your damaged lips– subconscious biting had seen to that, but Joel's softer ones made up for the loss on your side.

Before he could give you the chance to debate on whether you should hug him or not, he pulled back, his hand on your cheek still: "I won't let anything happen to you– To either of us. I promise you." You stared into each other's eyes for another moment, then he placed a most gentle kiss on your temple: "I made some dinner for you, go and eat for me."

You nodded, eyes lowering to the ground, then slowly walked away. Joel was quick to take notice of your broken stance– slumped shoulders, slowed steps and, ah, there goes the hand through your hair. He knew, then, that he had to put more effort into understanding how you viewed the couple and respecting your feelings. Sure, you were prone to worry and overthink, but so was he. Nothing, as far as he knew and had seen, had gotten to you like this before. Something ought to be wrong for you to beat yourself up over it as you did.

But despite everything –despite him still not seeing the way you saw the couple– you were, of course (and without question), his priority. He trusted you and your judgement, and it had always been so.

He just hoped it wasn't too late to show you that.

[the-blind-geisha]

holy eff, that was 2 years ago? im so sorry, im absolutely unaware of the passage of time XD but yep! that's me! it wasn't very hard to find you tbh, i went to overlord tag one day and i found your art. this time i simply searched for demiurge and was pleasantly surprised that you changed your blog again (more like returned to your old one but yeah). don't worry tho, no need to hide from me! im a good anon, and a person you knew quite good (and also a person who, i think, triggered you once? with some depressing themes. im so deeply sorry for that) glad to hear you have everything under control now! but im more glad that you're enjoying yourself and grow the fandom. overlord is really amazing, both anime and light novel (that's it, if i ever decide to watch the new season or catch up with the novel). you did a very fine choice, dear, to get into it! (and, especially, to get into demiurge hehe) don't mention it truly! i've been wondering for a few weeks now how you're doing and all. and i'm really, really happy to see you're enjoying yourself and having fun.

I also wanted to say that, uh, i know how ac fandom treated you and please take no offence, but, i really appreciate that you didn't delete the responds to people's asks or the gifts that are ac themed. i know it wasn't an easy choice, and i really appreciate it. it sounds stupid but it means a lot as it brought some pleasant memories. so, yeah, thanks for that! <3 (also: your emmett is forever in our hearts) i hope you won't mind me being here from time to time (and not like, appearing after 2 years XD). you were always so lovely to talk to! you still are, of course, but yeah! lovely to talk to and you're lovely too! as always <3 - P

LOL to be fair, I think the pandemic really threw us all for a loop. X”D Heck, it being 2022 hasn't really come to my realization yet. I still keep thinking 2020 was just last year.

Haha, that is very fair. ♥ If you were able to hunt through the Demiurge tag, that is indeed where I kinda live now. ♥ Though I am working more and more on drifting my version of him out of the fandom and into my original works. But we'll see! I do love the character a lot!

Oof, I gotta be honest, anon. My memory got a bit scattered no thanks to anemia causing me a bit of brain fog/damage. So if you did anything that triggered me, it's quite alright. ♥ I've obviously gone past whatever may have happened now, and it is all water under the bridge as they say.

I adore Overlord, but my poor Albedo and Demiurge... I wish they were given more time to develop. ;~; They are my treasures next to Yuri Alpha. ♥ But I do hope you enjoy the new season! I love the animation has really been upped in quality! I'm still eagerly waiting for the movie!

Thank you! I have a lovely group of readers and friends who support me like yourself, and I appreciate every single one of them. I especially love the readers who have been with me since the AC days. The fact you guys will still follow me from one thing to the next is sweet, and I am always happy to see reoccurring names pop up now and again!

I will be honest, hon, in that I did delete a few things in my desire to heal away from the fandom years back, but not all of it is gone, no. ♥ The Fall is still on AO3, I just removed my name from it, and the Prostitute Series, while removed from AO3, is still on here too. I know those were the main stories people would have been upset to be removed from the net completely. I do still have the others on my hard drive (like certain love letters and The Dove Effect, Daddy Dearest, etc), but I just don't feel comfortable releasing them again to the public. Maybe one day. ♥

Aww, thank you! I actually did plan on bringing Emmett back into a Victorian setting but away from AC: S. ♥ I had a werewolf story in London kinda idea that I wanted him to be apart of, so he will return just—in a new way and away from Jacob being his dad. (He's gonna have an adopted dad/mentor instead.)

Awww, I adore when folks drop in to say hi every now and again! I still get people DMing me saying 'thank you for writing this super old fic from 2005' ever so often, and it's great! I hope people never think it's weird or annoying to talk to me about old times or just say hello. I promise, it's okay to do so. ♥

It's kind of why I never really ever change my name or at least, try not to. ♥ I want it to be easier for folks to find me.

It's always great to hear from you, anon! ♥

[inkandpen22]

Shared Minds and Shared Souls (1/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, swearing

Word Count: 2.9k

Story Summary: Driven by the power she posses as a witch and psychic, Y/N returns to Sunnydale to pay a visit to her family after she has a vision about Dawn. She isn’t exactly like her duty first and justice before all else cousin Buffy as Y/N follows her own rules. She offers her aid to the Scoobies during their drama with Glory. Y/N doesn’t plan to stay long until she experiences an unparalleled connection with a certain vampire from North London.

Masterlist

I never imagined myself visiting a small town like Sunnydale. I’ve lived in many places, but never California. The west coast isn’t exactly my style. For one, it’s hot. Two, the hippy-dippy happy-go-lucky attitude makes my eyes roll. Finally, Los Angeles reminds me of Celia, my cousin. Buffy, Celia, and I were inseparable as children. Dawn tried to tag-along in our make-believe games, but Buffy grew annoyed with her quickly. I haven’t been back in California in a decade for this very reason. Everything about California reminds me of a time when we were just kids. Before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. 

Blasting Green Day in front of the hospital, I park my 1967 bright red Mustang. I take a minute to collect myself before barging in. Buffy and Dawn don’t exactly know I’m coming, but there’s something I have to warn them about, something so crucial that I drove here all the way from New York. The funny part will be explaining to Buffy that I know she’s the Slayer. To her knowledge, I’m just her ordinary cousin who she hasn’t seen since we were ten. In reality, I’m a psychic witch, have been since birth. Well, I’ve been psychic since the womb, the witchy part came later. Oh, and I can’t forget seeing the dead part, I always do. That little twist comes with the psychic part. Yeah, imagine a little ten-year-old me seeing my recently deceased cousin at her funeral… fun times. It explains the whole discomfort toward California. Low-key traumatized, but all good. Any who, I should probably stop the hesitation and just head inside. 

As I stroll down the bitter cold hospital hall, I grip the leather straps of my backpack nervously. 

“Hi Buffy,” I rehearse under my breath. “You probably don’t recognize me, I’m Y/N… your cousin. It’s great to see you- God I sound so stupid!” 

I follow the signs on the wall toward the Neurology unit. Hospitals, cemeteries, funeral homes, old buildings, all great places to bump into ghosts. The things I do for family, boy do these guys owe me. 

As I turn down yet another peach colored hall- geez this place is dated- my eyes land on a familiar blonde in the waiting room at the far end. Oh great, here we go. Buffy doesn’t notice me right away, being too occupied with doting on a sleeping Dawn resting her head on her lap. I take note of the blondie boy sat beside her. I’m guessing he’s with Buffy. Good for her, a strong seven out of ten. I would rate him higher, but he’s not my type, too All-American boy-next-door. 

“Looks like I’m right on time,” I determine once I’m closer, thus making my presence known. Buffy peers up at me and her eyes widen steadily. Blondie next her looks between me and Buffy. Her surprised reaction makes him tense, I nearly assure him I’m not a threat. 

“Y/N?” She gentle shakes Dawn to wake her as she rises from her seated position. “What are you doing here?” 

“I heard about your mom… ” I explain vaguely. In truth, I saw it in a vision and a lot more beyond that, but I’ll just say my mom told me for now. 

Buffy makes long strides and warmingly embraces me. I can sense the desperation in her touch. Her ora is all out of wack. I could see the mess her colors are from yards away. It seems like I did really arrive at the perfect time. Buffy needs me now more than ever. 

“Y/N!” Dawn gasps behind us. 

Buffy and I part, her eyes stare into mine pleadingly. Yeah, we really need to have a chat. Preferably somewhere we can be frank, truly frank, no bullshit like I’m spilling right now. 

“Oh my God!” Dawn squeals, rushing down to greet me.  She squeezes me like a stress ball as she rambles on about how much she’s missed me. Then, Dawn starts to ask the tough questions as usually does. The girl has never quite had a filter. “Where have you been?”

“New York mainly,” I laugh. 

“How come you’ve never come to see us before?” She rushes out as Buffy continues to stare at me in awe. It could be she thinks she’s dreaming this. 

“Dawn, I-” 

She cuts me off, “how’s aunt Lolly? Are you college? When did you get in?”

“Dawnie!” I laugh, “I will answer all your questions, promise. We’ll catch up! For now,” I look at Buffy. “I need to have a chat with your sister…” 

The girl scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Of course, you’re for Buffy… everyone is always here for her. No ever visit me,” she grumbles. 

“I’m here for you too,” I assure Dawn. “I just… it’s important I speak with Buffy right now. It’s about something-” 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Blondie interrupts, his face covered with confusion. 

“I’m Y/N,” I introduce myself. “I’m Buffy and Dawn’s cousin.” 

“I’m Riley, the boyfriend,” he offers me his hand. 

Wow, quite the introduction. I’m not much of a contact-person, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to gather information on G.I. Joe. As I shake his hand, I’m able to visualize memories and emotions from him. They come as flashes before my eyes. I hear his thoughts, see through his eyes, and feel what he’s felt. All I see Buffy, moments they’ve had. At first, pleasure and immense happiness consumes my head. Then, it’s replaced with doubt and self-deprecation. The obsession with Buffy is replaced with desperate longing. He feels her slipping. 

My visual is cut-off when Riley removes his hand. I’m brought back to current moment, surrounded by chaos of the hospital. 

Dawn frowns, curiosity etched across her features. “What’s so important that you had to come all the way? Does it have to do with Mom?”

“You came all the way from New York?” A male voice questions behind me. 

What is this an interrogation? The sooner someone tells me where Buffy is the sooner I can head back home. Believe me, I don’t want to be here longer than I have to be. I glance over my shoulder, Willow and Xander stare at me in confusion. We’ve never met, but I know of them, the visions. I’ve been keeping tabs on Buffy and the family since… well… since Buffy became the Slayer. 

“Yes,” I answer Xander directly. Turning back to Buffy, I not so discretely tell her it’s urgent. “Please, Buff, do you have minute? I know this isn’t exactly opportune but-” 

“Of course,” she swallows hard. “We can uh… we can talk outside. There’s a courtyard just over there,” she gestures down the hall. 

“I’m coming with,” Riley declares next to her. 

“I’m sorry, is your name Buffy?” I sass, much to his frustration. “What am I going to do her? She’s my cousin. I’m only borrowing her for a second, then you can toss the leash back on her.” 

“Y/N…” Buffy mutters for me to stop. 

Riley narrows his eyes at me- oof, I’m real scared now! While I giggle at her boyfriend’s expense as the two of us start down the hall. I’ve missed Buffy, we used to be like two peas in-a-pod. Once all this drama I’ve seen in her future is over, perhaps we can be close again. I refuse to settle in Sunnydale though. At least we have phones and email. 

Once outside, and we’re certain we’re alone, Buffy cuts to the chase. “Not that I’m not happy you’re here, Y/N, I am but, why are you here?” She hasn’t changed a bit.

I snicker, peering up at the sky as the sun it starting to set. Gosh, I hate the day. That sounds weird because what human hates daytime, but I do. I’m much more… in tune with myself when it’s night time. I thrive off the moonlight and stars. The sun and its rays are hot, too hot. I like the cold and darkness of night. 

“Fine, let’s get right to it,” I smirk at my cousin wickedly. Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes, feeling a bit anxious. “You mind?” I ask her, not really caring but figure I should check. 

Timidly, she shakes her head. Her arms are securely crossed in front of her as she watches me take a smoke. “Those things will kill you,” she advices the cookie-cutter phrase. 

“So can a car accident, yet we still drive,” I remark with sass. “What’s life without a little risk?” I wink. 

Buffy shifts on her feet as her jaw clenches. Her aura is shifting again, Black to red, I’ve never seen someone change on a dime so fast. That’s change is funny, she’s either angry or afraid of me, maybe both. I can’t blame her, I’m not exactly a Care Bear. My black and red attire doesn’t scream comforting. 

“Then again, you would know all about death, right Cuz?” I suggest subtly. 

Her eyes lock with mine and I start to see the wheels turning her head. ‘Does she know? How could she?’ She’s likely thinking to herself. One touch and I could hear for certain what she’s thinking. 

“What are you talking about?” She mumbles, barely meeting my eye. 

I scoff, tossing my head back, why can’t this be easier? You know what, fine! Growing impatient, I hold my hand out, palm to the sky. “Light,” I verbalize and within seconds a bright orb floats above my palm. 

Buffy stares at my magic stunned. Yeah, I was sort of expecting that kind of reaction. 

“How… How…” She stutters. 

“If you’d like a mini bolt of lighting I can do that too,” I offer. “I kind of prefer them, far more powerful!” 

She doesn’t share in my excitement as she slowly steps closer still in awe. “You’re a witch?” 

“Yep!” I smile, rather proud. “Have been for a while now, gotten pretty good at it too, not to brag or anything…” 

“So…” Buffy continues to process everything. “You know about demons, vampires-” 

I hum, “all of it. Including that you’re the Slayer, congrats by the way! Fun shit,” I compliment with a snicker. 

“Not exactly how I’d describe it,” she mutters defeatedly, her eyes still on the orb. 

Closing my fist, the orb disappears and I place my hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Her eyes meet mine solemnly. 

“How long have you known?” She asks unfazed. 

“Since forever,” I answer truthfully. “Sorry I never called or have come to help. I’ve sort of been cheering for ya from the sidelines. In all honesty, I’ve been away perfecting my magic with a coven. I’ve met some pretty interesting people along the way, all dazzled when they find out I’m related to the Slayer,” I gush. 

She pays no mind to my compliments, still in a daze. “Does anyone know? Does your dad?” 

I shake my head and sternly tell her, “he can never know! He thinks I’ve been away at school in Boston. In truth, I’ve been in New York with a coven.” 

Buffy nods in understanding, though I know Joyce is aware of the supernatural world. My mom could never handle it. “Did you come all the way here to tell me that?” 

Okay, here’s the hard part, the real hard part! I finish my cigarette, pondering the last relaxing bit of it before tossing it to the ground. “Okay, so here’s the deal,” I begin. “There’s a this big nasty bitch I’ve seen in my visions- I see visions by the way-” I add in passing, having forgotten it. Then, I remember I can’t forget the ghosties bit. “Anyway, you’ve already bumped into her, Glory. Yeah, she’s a real charmer from what I can see. I’m here to help because based on my visions, she’s kicking your asses.” 

I leave out a crucial bit of information, a part of the visions I’m not sure I can share. One important thing about being a psychic is not changing fate. As much as I want to tell Buffy everything, I know I can’t, not if I don’t want to mess with the world. 

“So, you’re here to help us stop Glory?” She clarifies. 

“It gets real fucked at some points,” I tell her, hoping that doesn’t reveal too much. 

“And I take it you know about Dawn…” she insinuates. 

I nod my head slowly, “you mean that she’s The Key? Then yes, I do. She’s about as human as the Teletubbies, but of course I won’t mention that to her. Who all knows?” 

“As of right now, me and Giles. He’s my Watcher,” she explains. “Did you already know that?” She’s catches on quickly. 

“Kinda…” I answer hesitantly. “Sorry if that’s weird. I’ve tried not to pry with my visions. If it makes you feel better, I didn’t know who Riley was! He mustn’t have been around the last time I checked in!” 

“When was the last time you… ya know… checked in?” She asks, unsure of how to phrase it. 

“Well, I’ve been away with the coven. I joined them right after high school, so I suppose it was when you started at UC Sunnydale. I know all about Willow and Xander, they seem nice from what I’ve seen. Angel, his in-and-out appearance in my visions was confusing for a while until I realized he was doing that in real life too,” I laugh.

“So you saw all of the Spike drama and my mom finding out about me too?” She asks. 

I frown, I saw Joyce learning about Buffy and that whole conversion, but I’ve never heard of a Spike. Based on my expression, Buffy predicts the answer. 

“Spike is the biggest pain in my ass,” she groans. “He and Angel used to be all vampy together. Then, Angel gained a soul and Spike got worse from what I’ve gathered. He’s killed two Slayers, so we’re not exactly friends. We met when he tried to kill me. He’ll show up and leave again, kinda like Angel but less helpful. Except now, he’s acting all infatuated with me and sticking around.” 

I snicker, “oof, so you have a psychotic vampire lusting after you? How did I miss this?!” 

Buffy rolls her eyes, “believe me, it’s not fun.”  

“Is he hot?” I inquire, always interested in a troubled bad-boy type. 

She stares at me with narrowed eyes of disapproval and scoffs, “oh my God… never ask me that again.” 

 “He must’ve showed up and gone between visions,” I determine. “I wasn’t able to check in much after you started at UC. Which reminds me, your roommate Kathy- not a fan of her,” I confess with a bit of humor. 

“Turned out to be a demon,” Buffy explains, much to my surprise. 

I gasp, “no way! Ugh, I saw you move-in, some interactions here and there, but that’s about it. I knew there was something up with her!” 

Buffy laughs, actually smiling for the first time since our reunion. It feels great having someone know I’m a witch who isn’t a witch themselves. Being away in New York with the coven was great and utterly freeing. They were the first people who I showed my true self to. Now, finally, someone I care about knows the real me. I have so much more to share with her! 

Buffy takes my hand gently, “I’m really glad you’re here. Lately… lately things have been more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined,” she confesses, swallowing back her tears and looks at the ground. “With Mom and protecting Dawn, I’m not sure I can do it all on my own. I mean, I have my friends, Giles, and Riley but…” she meets my gaze, tears puddling in her eyes. “I needed you, I just didn’t quite know it. I needed my other sister,” she weeps. 

Immediately, I pull Buffy into my chest and hug her tightly. I should’ve come sooner. I should’ve felt Buffy’s pain. I guess I was so caught up with the coven and I forgot to check on her, so I missed the signs. I’m here now, that’s all that matters. Now, I can help. Seeing Buffy so upset makes my blood boil. Anyone who fucks with my family gets knocked off this planet, which means Glory has another coming at her in the form of a powerful witch. 

__________________________

Masterlist 

[seungmoroll]

Heather | Hwang Hyunjin

Word count: 3.8k

Genre & tags: angst, dance team au, brother!Minho, mentions of other idols

A/N: this is the 4th part of the Heather series, you can read the others here.

Shining through the city with a little funk and soul

I’ma light it up like dynamite, whoa

Pants could be heard from all around the room showcasing the hard work and dedication everyone had put into the dance. Your eyes filled with awe as you sit off to the side. After 5 seconds of listening to their tired pants, you stand up and bust out in applaud, and soon the rest of them join you.

“You guys looked amazing! That was the best run so far. There’s no way any other team can beat you guys this Friday.” The looks and smiles on their faces let you know that they’re thankful for your words. However, you don’t have enough time to fully appreciate the moment as a body crashes into yours, forcing you back onto the sofa.

“Ugh, get off of me Minho.” Unfortunately for you, your attempt to push him off only makes him put even more of his weight on top of you.

“Can’t you let your tired brother rest for a moment?” You had the pleasure, note the sarcasm, of calling Minho your brother. You swear it’s his life mission to annoy you, however, there are perks of having him as your brother. One of them being that he has to drive you around everywhere, and another one being that you get to hang out at the dance studio that Minho goes to, which means you get to see your favorite people in the world. Speaking of favorite people, the sound of heavenly laughter fills your ears, and you turn to see Hyunjin laughing at yours and Minho’s antics. Gaining enough strength thanks to Hyunjin’s beautiful laugh, you manage to push Minho off of you, making him land on the sofa next to you with a groan.

“Gosh Minho, your big butt was suffocating me.”

“So, you admit I got a big butt?” All you want to do is knock the cockiness off his face, but you choose to be good, since Hyunjin was only a few feet away.

“You’re insufferable.”

Plopping himself on the sofa next to you, Hyunjin says, “I’m surprised you two haven’t killed each other yet.”

“Our mom says we can only kill each other after 10pm.” Is what you and Minho say synchronously, causing for laughter to erupt from Hyunjin.

“You guys are basically the same person.” Taking offense to his comment, you playfully smack him, “Don’t insult me like that.”

“Ow, you can’t hit precious things like me.” You roll your eyes at his dramatics. A year ago, if someone were to tell you that you would’ve had feelings for Hwang Hyunjin, you would’ve laughed in their face.

Hyunjin was an interesting character, not everyone realized that. Everyone only saw him for his exterior; they only focused on his visuals. Yes, you agree that he’s handsome, heck, you were sure that he sparkled sometimes, but that’s not what made you like him. Behind his looks, was someone that was so in touch with his feelings and wasn’t afraid to show them. One night, you had to go to the dance studio and wait for Minho who was helping Hyunjin with a dance, and before you had barged into the practice room, you saw Hyunjin and Minho sitting on the ground with Hyunjin crying his eyes out. He was crying because he was stressed out and he just needed to release everything. You didn’t make your presence known, but instead you watched as your brother comforted him. That’s when your perception of him changed; he wasn’t the mysterious beauty you thought he was.

“You’re coming with us after the competition, right?” It was tradition for the team to get a meal together after a dance competition.

“Duh, Minho’s my ride home.” That wasn’t your only reason why you were going. You actually enjoyed hanging out with the team.

“Good, I like it when you hang out with all of us.” His statement makes you blush, and you hope that Hyunjin doesn’t realize it’s because of him. From your other side you hear Minho scoff, making you smack him in the chest.

“You’re still doing my hair, right?” Ever since Hyunjin started growing out his hair, he’s been finding out new ways to style it, and that meant you doing his hair.

“Of course, can’t have you looking like a hot mess in front of a large audience.” It didn’t matter what his hair looked like; he’d still look good.

“So you think I’m hot?” Hyunjin asks with a teasing smirk.

“Psh, what, no.” He raises an eyebrow at you as you attempt to form a sentence, “But you’re not ugly either, you’re, you’re…fine yes you’re hot…or whatever.” The sound of his laughter fills your ears and you can’t help but want to record it to listen to it all the time.

“I’m just messing with you, Y/n.” He gently ruffles your hair, “It’s so fun to mess with you.”

Huffing, “I disagree.”

“Well I agree.” Minho butts in. More laughter comes from Hyunjin as you launch yourself at Minho.

A few days later and it’s the night of the competition. You and The Snipers are in the dressing rooms getting ready. Because the dance had more of a fun theme, you and Hyunjin had agreed to add a little bit of pop to his hair. As you started to braid small sections of his hair, you added some colorful beads. You can feel Hyunjin’s stare on you through the mirror and you hope that he doesn’t notice the nervous tremors in your hands.

    “You better make sure I look good Y/n.”

    “When do you not look good?” Covering up your mouth, you couldn’t believe that you had let that slip out.

    “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

    Playfully shoving at his shoulder, “Hey, you say that like as if I’m not nice all the time.”

    “You’re the devil, of course you’re not nice.” Minho butts in. If looks could kill, you were sure Minho would be a goner.

    “I want you to keep your eyes on me tonight, Y/n.” Hyunjin’s bold statement makes your heart skip a beat.

    “What? Why?” There was no reason for Hyunjin to say this to you.

    “Because I’m the only one you should look at.” His sentence sounds whinier than it does serious, but you see it as a sliver of hope that shines for you.

    “Yah,” Minho starts, smacking Hyunjin in the back of the head, “They’re my sibling, they should be focused on me, plus it’s my last dance with you guys.”

    “Oh boohoo, Y/n has seen you dance plenty of times. They should have something that’s more eye catching to look at this time.” Another smack is landed on the back of Hyunjin’s head.

    “Yah, stop that Minho. You’re ruining my masterpiece.”

    “See, Y/n thinks I’m a masterpiece.”

    Scrunching your nose, “Not you, your hair.”

    “My hair is a part of me; therefore, I am a masterpiece.” You couldn’t disagree with him, however, being you, you have to say something a bit insulting.

    “Why is everyone on this dance team delusional?” You feel a pair of eyes on you and you instantly say, “Not you Felix, you’re a wonderful human being.” This time it’s you who gets the smack to the back of the head, but it doesn’t matter because you got to see Felix’s beautiful smile.

“Hey, why do you like Felix more than me?” ‘Oh Hyunjin, you big idiot. If only you knew.’ Minho snorts at Hyunjin’s question, and you send him another life-threatening glare. Minho knew about your feelings for Hyunjin, he wasn’t blind. He’d send you teasing glances every chance that he got, but you were thankful that he never brought it up to Hyunjin. To be honest, he thinks you could do better, but you think he only says that because Hyunjin is his friend.

    Deciding to mess with Hyunjin a little bit, you respond, “Because Felix is precious.” A pout settles on Hyunjin’s face and you swear that it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Though you do have to say that the smile and hearts Felix sends you is almost as cute.

    “Oof, Hyunjin looks like you don’t have everyone wrapped around your finger, isn’t that right Y/n?” Jeno says, poking fun at Hyunjin.

    “Nah, I know Y/n has heart eyes for me.” Hyunjin playfully winks at you, and you hate the way your heart did somersaults in your chest.

    “You wish Hwang.”

After the team had left to get ready to go on stage, you went on your way to find a seat in the audience. While searching for a seat with the best view of the stage, you see an individual frantically waving at you. Squinting to see who it is, you recognize the person as Jungeun, an acquaintance you made thanks to the dance team. Jungeun, or better known as Kim Lip on stage, was part of a different dance team and you guys happened to meet at a different dance competition. You were on your way to your seat after doing last minute touchups to Hyunjin’s hair, when you saw that she needed help fixing her hair, so you lent her a helping hand. From then on, you guys would say hi to each other every time you saw one another.

Reaching Jungeun, you are pulled into a hug, “Hey, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” There was no indication that Jungeun’s dance team was competing tonight.

“Oh, I was invited to come, plus I wanted to watch the competition anyways.” To you, her answer seemed normal since she was a dancer after all, so you didn’t bother to question it any further. Though you did want to know if you knew the person who invited her, but you guys weren’t close enough for you to ask.

“Do you have a seat already?” Jungeun asks.

“No, I was just about to look for one.”

“Oh you can sit with me!” She offers you the vacant seat next to her, and you kindly accept it; one, because it had a nice view of the stage, and two, because you didn’t like sitting by yourself.

“This is your brothers last competition, right? I heard he was going to be a backup dancer for a boy group.” You weren’t surprised that she knew of this. Practically everyone in the dance scene here in your city knew of Minho, so of course word would spread about his new position.

“Yeah, it is. He wanted his last dance with The Snipers to be amazing, so him and the others put so much work into this performance.” If you were forced to compliment Minho, the one thing that you could say that wouldn’t make you gag was that he was passionate. He gave it his all for every dance he’s done, which is why no one was surprised when he told you that he was going to be a backup dancer for a big idol group. Since he always gave 110% effort in his dances, for this performance everyone else gave 120% effort to have one last win for Minho. Honestly, you were confused when the team decided to dance to Dynamite by BTS because you would’ve thought that they would’ve wanted something more intense, but their reasoning was that they wanted to have fun on stage with Minho for one last time.

“Hey, I think the team is about to perform.” Jungeun points towards the stage, and you see the familiar figures of the dance team. Minho is front and center, but your eyes travel towards Hyunjin, who’s on Minho’s left. Sitting there in the audience, you anxiously wait for the music to start. This was the last time your brother was going to be dancing with this team before he goes off on tour as a backup dancer, and you just hope this doesn’t mean that this will be the last time you watch the team dance.

Once the music starts playing, you block out everything else around you and focus on the dance. You’ve seen this dance so many times, but every time you become mesmerized with their moves. It’s refreshing to see them dance with this concept, and you’re loving the way everyone’s expression is showing that they’re having fun on the stage. Like Hyunjin wanted, you kept your eyes on him, watching him do the moves like they were nothing. Though, you did tear your eyes away from him to watch Felix do that one flip that makes you worried all the time, and to watch Minho’s solo. Aside from those instances, your eyes were glued to Hyunjin. If you were to describe his movements, you would say he was like water. Every single move he made was elegant and flowed nicely.

Once the performance had ended, you quickly stood up and loudly cheered for them, and you didn’t miss the moment when you caught Hyunjin’s eyes and he sent you a wink. This only caused for you to cheer for them even louder. Watching them leave, you dismiss yourself from Jungeun, and make your way back to the team. As soon as you reach the boys, you instantly pull Minho into a hug, “You guys were phenomenal. You had the whole audience cheering for you.” Pulling back from your brother, a different pair of arms wrap around you.

“Thanks Y/n.” Taking this moment as a chance, you tightly hug Hyunjin.

Your time with the team is cut short as they’re called back onto the stage for the announcement of the results. Making your way back to your seat, you nervously wait for the announcements to begin.

“Alrighty everyone, are you guys ready for the announcements?” Cheers fill up the auditorium as everyone wants to know the results.

“I guess that settles it, starting off with 10th place…” There were only a total of 15 dance teams, so there was a very high chance that The Snipers at least placed. When the MC announced a different team as 10th, you let out a big sigh, and you could hear Jungeun chuckle at you, but you chose to ignore it, focusing your attention on the MC. Every time the MC announces the placement of a team, you become even more anxious because now third place was about to get announced and the team hasn’t been announced yet.

“And in third place, we have…Trailblazers!”

“You and the others must be nervous.” You can only shake your head as response to Jungeun.

“Coming in second place, we have…Revolution X!” You had thought Revolution X’s performance was good especially with Kino’s solo, but not as great as The Snipers of course. The Snipers thought of Revolution X as their major competition, so maybe they had a chance at getting first.

“And last, but certainly not least, coming in first, we have…drum roll please.” The auditorium fills up with the sound of beats as everyone is anticipating the winners.

“The Snipers!” They did it, they won. You jump out your seat and loudly cheer for your boys. On stage the team is all huddled up together with Minho in the center, jumping up and down, and you wish that you could join in with them, but you’re also alright with just watching them from the sidelines, like always.

Instead of meeting in the dressing room, you meet up with the team outside in the parking lot. Jungeun had tagged along with you, which you didn’t mind since she knew the members of the team. Upon seeing the team, you run towards them, jumping on your brothers back.

“You guys did it! I told you, you were going to win!”

“Alright, alright. I just won and you’re already trying to kill me, get off.” Hesitantly, you get off of Minho’s back, but you don’t miss the smile that’s on his face, so it makes up for it. Your vision darkens when you feel something on top of your head cover your eyes, pulling up the unknown object, you see Hyunjin smiling brightly at you. Realizing that the object was Hyunjin’s bucket hat, you adjust it to sit right on your head as Hyunjin exclaims to you, “We did it, Y/n. We got first!” He then grabs onto your forearms and makes you jump around with him. The sounds of yours and his laughs are mixed together, and it makes you feel light on your feet. Eventually the two of you settle down, and Hyunjin finally realizes that there was someone behind you.

“Jungeun!” Leaving your side, Hyunjin goes off to talk to her. Before you can even think of anything, you’re being whisked away by your brother, “C’mon slow poke, we got to get going to the restaurant.” You don’t even manage to bid a goodbye to Jungeun as your brother pulls you towards his car.

You and Minho were the first ones to arrive at the restaurant, going up to claim your reservation. One by one the members of the team, came in filling up the seats at the tables. So far, the seat in front of you remained empty, and you hoped that Hyunjin was going to occupy it. When Hyunjin arrives at the restaurant, you see that he’s brought a surprise with him.

“Hey guys, you know Jungeun. It’s okay if she hangs out with us, right?”

“The more the merrier,” someone who you can’t register says, as you try to figure out why Jungeun had come. The seat in front of you becomes occupied by Jungeun as Hyunjin grabs another chair and sets it to the right of her. ‘Ah, he’s such a gentleman.’ Though, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed that he didn’t sit in front of you. 

The dinner was amazing, and you weren’t talking about the food. Everyone was in such a good mood that you didn’t even realize that you guys had been sitting at the restaurant for almost two hours. San is in the middle of telling a story about the disaster of time when him and Wooyoung went on a double date when Hyunjin got up from his seat.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna head out early.” He motions towards Jungeun who has also gotten up from her seat and that’s when reality hits you. Hyunjin was the one that invited Jungeun to come out tonight. He was winking at her, not you. You never had a chance with Hyunjin. There will always be girls like Jungeun and guys like Hyunjin want girls like her, not you. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you’ll always just be Minho’s sibling, the person that just tags along with the dance team. Any chance of hope that you thought you had didn’t exist. Hyunjin was just being Hyunjin. He was just being playful with you without realizing the things that he did to you.

Now that you think about it, you couldn’t believe you missed the signals; more like you chose to ignore them. You can’t say that you missed the small interactions that the two had at every dance competition, like this one time you were looking for Minho, but when you turned the corner Jungeun was leaning against the wall while Hyunjin had a hand propped up against the same wall next to her. You had just tried to explain to yourself that they were just having a normal conversation. Or that one time, you saw a familiar sweater Jungeun had on and assumed that they just had the same sweater. For every situation you had made an excuse to calm your delusional mind, but now as you sit there in the middle of the restaurant and watch the two of them, you can’t ignore the painful feeling in your chest that’s starting to form.

“Boo, can’t you spend a different night with your girl? This will our last time hanging out with this group.”

“Oh leave him be Wooyoung, you’re just jealous that he has someone and you don’t.” San says.

“And if I am?” His question makes everyone, but you laugh. That’s just because you’re too focused on Hyunjin.

“I’ll take you out another night Wooyoung, don’t worry.” Hyunjin sends Wooyoung a wink, and in returns he gets a flying kiss.

Laughing, “Anyways, we’re going to go. Don’t have to much fun without me.”

“Bye guys!” Jungeun bids the rest of you goodbye before she walks out the door Hyunjin is holding for her.

Your eyes follow the couple through the window as they walk away from the restaurant, and you wish that you could say that you didn’t see the way he playfully wrapped his arm around her. Gone from your line of vision, you tear your eyes away from the window and tune yourself back into the story San is telling the others. However, the image of Hyunjin with Jungeun is the only thing going through your mind, so you can’t even bother to focus at all. Instead you choose to swirl your straw around in your drink, doing all you can to think of something else.

“Are you okay?” Minho’s soft voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh, uh yeah, I’m fine,” you answer indifferently.

Nudging you with his elbow, he gives you a concerned look, and in that instance, you felt like you wanted to cry even more because now your brother was worried about you. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin what is supposed to be a good night for him. “You want to go home?”

Shaking your head, “No, you shouldn’t have to leave early because of me, you should be celebrating with the rest of the team.”

“Y/n, you’re my sibling. You come first, no matter what and I can tell that you’re not okay. C’mon get up.” You and Minho had weird ways of showing it, but when it comes down to moments like these, you knew that you two loved each other. Hyunjin may be unobtainable, but as long as you had Minho by your side, you knew you would be fine.

As the two of you get up, Minho speaks to the rest of the team, “I’m sorry guys, but the life of the party is going to have to leave early, something came up.” The group boos at him, but eventually lets him leave. Silently, you bid the others goodbye, ignoring the concerned look Felix gives you.

The ride back home is silent, which is how you preferred it because you think if Minho had mentioned anything that you would’ve been full on sobbing, and that’s something you’d rather save for your pillowcase. You were 100% sure that Minho knew about Hyunjin and Jungeun, and you’re not sure if you’re glad that he didn’t tell you earlier or not. You know he had the best intentions. Looking out the window, you watch as the lights flash by and you internally laugh at yourself. You look like someone who’s in a sad music video, ‘pathetic.’

A/N: we’re half way through the series, yay! I've never seen anyone mention Kim Lip as a “heather” but I love her and think she would be one, so I had to include her. like always, feel free to let me know what you guys think

[bettertomorrows-ao3]

Are You My Mother?

Ellie is frantic. Dina is amused. JJ has some questions.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

Tags: Post-Game, Family Fluff Rating: Teen for language

EllieDina Week // Day 4 // FAMILY

---

It’s almost sundown when Ellie gets a visitor at work.

Her office is a medium-sized shack located near the stables of the main gate, a perfect place to house all the paperwork she needs in order to facilitate her new role as the patrol manager. Ellie had originally argued with Maria that the chore didn’t even exist, that it seemed like a feeble arrangement to give her a task somewhat similar to what she was used to just so she could still feel useful around town.

Maria admitted to some truth to Ellie’s point, but she also insisted that she would love for Ellie to start learning to ropes of leading the town. There was a buried emphasis in her request that suggested Maria only trusted Ellie to be the one to succeed her role in the future. That Ellie was already deeply embedded in the tangled mess of a family the Miller brothers left them with—and implication was what led Ellie to accept the job on the spot.

Managing patrol rotations is not the laid-back kind of job Ellie thought it would be.

It’s far more stressful than what Maria initially described it would be, but it’s a task that keeps her on her toes on a daily basis. It was hard to believe it at first, but rescheduling patrol rotations sometimes felt like hugging an exploding bloater. Not to mention how balancing patrollers with the right partners oftentimes resembled the act of gathering sheep into a barn. One wrong move, and a stray could lead the pack in the wrong direction.

Jackson’s townsfolk always knew she would have the job in the future, anyway. There was a tacit understanding that regardless of the complications of their familial relations, Maria’s niece would one day take over the duty of leading Jackson. It was never a question of whether it would ever happen, but more of when Ellie would feel comfortable to take on these responsibilities.

It came as a surprise to those who personally knew her—that Ellie would start making her way up before she was even in her thirties. Most of them thought they would have to wrench a 100-year-old Ellie away from patrolling duties, so to have her willingly take a job inside Jackson’s walls was a bit unnerving.

The desk job isn’t as exciting, but it’s definitely enough work to keep her busy throughout the week. Her favourite part of the job was toward the end of the day. When her last task was to wait for the afternoon patrols to come back home, and she spent the time quietly drafting ways to adjust routes for possible expansions to the town. Nothing felt better than to wrap up a workday with a glint of hope for a better future for her son.

Ellie is knee deep in concentration, head down studying a map and ready to sketch out a new patrol route when a knock on the door breaks her focus. It’s Andres, Dina’s new apprentice at the electric shop, a gangly young man whose family recently moved to Jackson. His presence immediately makes Ellie panic. They’ve only met three times since Dina hired him, and their interactions have been cordial at best. So, what else could warrant his appearance at her office at the end of the day if it weren’t for something urgent?

“Hey, uh… Ellie. A-are you busy?” he croaks out, Ellie can tell he’s nervous, but what for she’s not sure yet.

“Andres, right?” she asks hoping to calm his nerves even though she knows exactly who he is, “what’s up?”

“D-dina sent me t-to tell you to please… go to her house as soon as pos-possible once you’re finished with work,” Andres stutters out, making Ellie all the more concerned.

Ellie stands up from her desk and promptly grabs her coat from the chair, “did something happen? Is she hurt? Is JJ okay?”

She tries to calm herself enough to hear a response from him. Whatever it was must have not been too terrible, because if something dire had indeed happened to her family, there is no way Maria would have sent this semi-stranger to send the news.

“Oh! I don’t—um…” the young man stutters and brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck, “she didn’t say. I’m just a messenger.”

With her jacket half worn on her back, Ellie looks down to the scattered papers on the desk and then to the clock on the wall. She only had 30 minutes left before the last patrol shift returned and reported back to her. Ellie was not one to ever leave her post early, but she was unfortunately not immune to whatever nervous energy Andres passed on to her.

The whole situation was terrifyingly curious, and she had to get to her family to find out what was happening. Ellie scribbles a note on a torn piece of paper, neatly folds it, and hands it to noticeably anxious Andres.

“Since you’re a messenger and all… can you quickly send this to Maria for me, please?”

**

Ellie tries not to sprint to Dina’s house. She doesn’t want to alarm anybody in town, so she ends up speed walking instead. In hindsight, sprinting would have probably looked way less ridiculous than the quick shimmy her hips do when she makes herself walk fast.

The thought comes too late. Dina’s house is already in view when she decides to run the rest of the way.

Ellie pauses on the porch to catch her breath. She knocks on the door twice before she curses to herself. Why is she knocking when she has a key to the door? Ellie digs in her pockets for the familiar shape of the metal when the door swings wide open.

“Did you forget your key again?”

Ellie looks up and releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Dina is leaning on the door frame with a smirk on her face. She looks perfect as ever and all Ellie can’t stop herself from hugging her right away. Relief floods her senses when she feels Dina reciprocate, her arms wrapping tightly around Ellie’s waist.

“Are you fine? Like, you’re not hurt?” Ellie whispers into her ear.

“Yes? Is this a trick question? Why?” Dina is puzzled by Ellie’s panic-stricken face and leads them into the house.

“Andres said I had to come home, and he was all nervous and twitchy, so I freaked out and kind of ran here,” Ellie admits before adding, “wait, what about JJ? Is he safe too?”

Dina eyes Ellie as if gauging to see if she was being pranked. When she realizes that Ellie was serious, she laughs and gives Ellie a quick peck on the lips.

“JJ’s upstairs doing homework, but babe, you do know Andres has a speech impediment, right? Like, it’s a medical condition, it doesn’t mean he’s actually nervous,” Dina chuckles when Ellie finally realizes that there was actually nothing to worry about.

“A speech impediment? You mean to say I got nervous for nothing?” Ellie takes a step back to shrug her jacket off her shoulders.

“Mhm,” Dina agrees, and takes Ellie’s jacket to hang on the coat rack by the door.

“So, what was so urgent you sent you lackey out to fetch me?” Ellie tilts her head to the side, still so apparently confused by everything.

“Well… your son—” Dina starts but Ellie interrupts her.

“Oh no. What did he do?”

Dina points up to the stairs, “your son picked a fight at school today.”

Ellie’s eyes bulge out in amazement, “Potato picked a fight? But… he’s only five years old!”

“That’s what I thought!” Dina shrugs, “but then I remembered who his parents are and then I realized that the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Holy fuck, you didn’t not just say that,” Ellie laughs.

“I literally just sounded like my mother,” Dina groans.

���Seriously, though,” Ellie asks, treading carefully but not without a smirk on her lips, “why did he get in a fight in the first place? Because questionable parents aside, he’s practically an angel!”

Dina sighs and leans forward letting Ellie hold her once again, “he said he doesn’t want to talk about it. Only that he wants to ask you something important.”

Ellie glances up toward the stairs wondering what their son could possibly want to ask her. She wonders what kind of demon would have likely possessed their sweet little spud to attack another student at school. The worst part is not even knowing how to explain to their son about not resorting to violence when the world they lived in required such actions to survive.

Despite the severity of the situation, Ellie couldn’t help but to joke, “if he wants to learn how to punch better, he’s asking for the wrong mom.”

The comment earns Ellie a light jab to the chest from Dina.

“Oof. Way to prove my point, babe.” Ellie shakes her head and grabs Dina’s hand to lead them upstairs to JJ’s room.

They share a look understanding that whatever JJ wanted to talk to Ellie about, they all had to do it as a family.

**

Ellie enters JJ’s room first. They find him slumped and sitting cross-legged on his big boy bed. Ollie is on his lap, and they seemed to have interrupted a silent conversation between JJ and his beloved toy. Ellie slowly makes her way to sit on the edge of the bed leaving Dina behind to lean on the doorframe. Their family was complete, but they still wished to respect JJ’s request to only talk to Ellie.

“Hey, bud. I heard what happened at school today. Wanna tell me about it?”

JJ sinks further into his bed and fiddles with Ollie in his hands. He hesitantly looks up and whispers, “do you love me?”

The question baffles Ellie and feels her heart breaking at sound of doubt in her son’s voice. She is more than a little concerned that her son somehow thinks there is a universe in which she could possibly stop loving him. She immediately scoots closer to him and wraps him tightly in her arms.

“Of course, I do, Spud. What makes you think I don’t?” Ellie eyes Dina by the door making a speechless plea for some comfort on her part. Dina only nods her head, assuring her that she is doing all right.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

“What? Who the fuck is Max?” Ellie growls making JJ flinch under her grasp.

Ellie has a sudden urge to hunt down this Max to teach a lesson about not meddling in other people’s business. Dina loudly clears her throat as if to remind Ellie that she is veering off track. Ellie has to remind herself that children can be unconsciously callous and that whoever this kid was probably didn’t mean any harm, and most likely doesn’t know any better.

“Are you angry with me?” JJ asks her and slithers out of her arms.

Ellie is reluctant to let him go and only does when Dina approaches them to sit next to her.

“Mom is not angry with you, Tater,” Dina speaks up, “she has her thinking face on.”

JJ pokes Ellie on the cheek as testing to see if his mom would notice. Ellie fails to hide the smile that emerges on her face. She kisses JJ on the head and comes up with a way to explain the dynamics of their family to a five-year-old.

“Do you remember the book I read to you the other night about the lost bird asking the dog if she’s his mother?” he nods and she continues, “well, our family is kind of like that. You have momma, and you have me. And just because we don’t look alike, it doesn’t mean that I’m any less your mom than momma is to you. Do you understand?”

The truth is that the allusion to the old story isn’t quite fitting to their situation, but Ellie hopes that it is basic enough for their little boy to understand the way their family works.

“You’re the dog and me and momma are birds, and you love us anyway?” he asks so innocently she and Dina can’t help but to laugh.

“I love you always no matter what other people say, Spud,” Ellie reassures him, and she is relieved to see him accepting her explanation, “we’re our own little family and I will always be your mom, even when you don’t see me.”

“What about momma? Do you love momma too?”

Dina tilts her head at Ellie, mimicking the hopeful look in their son’s eyes.

“Your momma owns my heart, Tater.”

Ellie feels Dina’s hand grasp one of hers, their fingers intertwined. JJ sees the contact, jumps on them, and nuzzles his little head in between theirs. The moment was so tender they almost forgot what had started the discussion in the first place.

Until JJ spoke again, “if we’re always a family, how come you don’t live with us?”

And damn, their son really did have some hard-hitting questions that night.

[thora-jane]

Twin-Way Mirror Pt. 1 (Weasley Twins/Reader Love Triangle)

Series Summary: You've been friends with the Weasley twins since your first train to Hogwarts, but as the three of you start your 6th year, you start to question if your feelings go beyond friendship.

Summary for Pt 1: as Summer draws to a close, some old friends come to take you off to the Quidditch World Cup

Warnings: none, I don't think. Maybe some tension between you and your parents.

Word count: 2,200

female!reader, 2nd person POV

Summer Holidays were special, you supposed, what with everyone taking a break from classes and unwinding for a couple months. You personally hadn’t been as big of a fan since you started Hogwarts. You were a Muggleborn, and Hogwarts was the first time you felt you actually understood school. You had been a horrible student in muggle school and consistently got terrible marks, but at Hogwarts? You were the brightest witch of your year. Even before your first day of classes, you had poured over every book cover to cover, examined your wand and robes for hours on end, and it took everything inside you not to start making potions.

Summer holidays were just the months in between. The time when you would lie to all your muggle friends about your new school (a private school, meant to reform students doing poorly in the academics department), and hold your breath amidst the tension of your muggle parents heavily encouraging you to continue to study muggle subjects and go to a muggle university after you graduate (“Come now, (y/n), you can’t possibly think you can just live out your life as a witch, do you?”).

A silver lining to all of this were the letters you would get from your friends. Once the sun had gone down and you could release your pet owl, Eros, with a letter or two strapped to his foot. In the morning, he would fly back with a letter or package before falling asleep in his cage. The letters would be from a few different friends every once in a while; Angelina would write to you about the latest news in Quidditch, always assuring you that this would be the year you make it onto the team, Hermione would send you newspaper clippings as your parents didn’t want you subscribing to a wizard newspaper, even Oliver would write and tell you about how his summers were going since he knew you didn’t see your friends much. And of course, there were the letters from the Weasleys.

You were in the same year as the twins, Fred and George, but no one could ever be friends with just a few of the Weasleys, it was always all or nothing. Ginny would write to you about quidditch (also assuring you you’d make the team, though you never did), Mr. Weasely would write and ask for common muggle objects, or with a whole laundry list of questions about muggle life, Mrs. Weasely would write asking you if you were being taken care of, sending you recipes and craft patterns, knowing how much you loved to cook and work with yarn, even Ron and Percy would write you, though mostly because Mrs. Weasley made them. Percy never let on as he scribbled about ministry business, but almost all of Ron’s consisted of “How are you, I am fine, mum wants me to write you. The twins miss you. xoxo Sorry, that was Fred and George.”

Ah, the Twins. Their letters were always your favorite, filled with page-long jokes or stories of their epic pranks and escapades, sometimes with a chocolate frog or some other sweet taped to the inside of the letter. Of course, when they mentioned making a line of pranking sweets, you were a bit hesitant to eat some of the things they sent. But you always seemed to walk away from the experience with all your teeth and toes, so you figured you wouldn’t get pranked unless they were there in person.

You kept all the letters and souvenirs and clippings sent, and even hung some up on your bedroom wall. Of course, none of the letters sent to you went unanswered, there would be days on end when you would write and craft responses to them, especially when one of the twins sent you a letter. You always closed out their responses assuring them that the three of you would see eachother again soon, and that next term would arrive before they knew it.

Granted, when you said this, you didn’t expect anyone to show up on your doorstep one day.

You were up in your room, writing out a response to George’s most recent letter and scrounging around for one of the candybars you had bought for him after finally convincing him to try muggle candy. It was then that you heard the doorbell ring. You paid it no attention, and chalked it all up to one of your mum’s friends stopping by for a coffee.

This of course, was not the case. You heard a few different voices, besides your mum, one or two of them belonged to who you assumed were women, but the others sounded much deeper. Then you heard thumping footsteps coming up the stairs and down the hall. The next thing you knew, there was a loud pounding on the door.

Then there was silence.

You weren’t quite sure who was there, but you hadn’t heard anything from your parents about company. And if there was one thing you’ve learned at Hogwarts, in these past few years especially, is that you always need to be on your toes.

You drew your wand out from your tied back hair and, holding it at the ready, opened up the door.

You weren’t quite sure who you were expecting, but not a second later two messes of red and black hair came flying towards you as Harry and Ron yanked you into a half-hug, half-tackle.

“(y/n)!” Harry laughed, moving your hand holding your wand so it didn’t stab him in the face, “the look on your face!”

Ron almost snorted, “Bloody hell, the twins would have paid galleons to see that!”

It took you a moment to recover your breath, but once the two boys stepped back from their hug, you managed to stutter out a question.

“Why are...uh...what are you doing here? And where are the twins?” You turned to Ron, who had walked over to your desk and started looking up at all the letters tapped to the wall, he started talking, but you could tell he was much more absorbed in all the papers and pictures and doodles.

“We’re here to pick you up, you’re all packed, aren’t you? The cup is in a few days and-say, were you going to eat this?” he interrupted himself, holding up one of the candy bars.

You walked past your bed and yanked a pillow out from Harry, who had seemed to make himself comfortable before you hit him with a pillow, then did the same to Ron.

“No, you may not eat that, that isn’t for you. And what cup? What do you mean all packed?” You tossed the pillow back onto your bed, and it landed on Harry’s face with an ‘oof’ before you pulled your trunk out of the closet and started tossing some of your cleaner and folded laundry in there, “Ronald I have no clue what you’re talking about. Harry, what does he mean?”

Although neither of you were in the Weasely family, you and Harry treated each other like siblings. Maybe not close friends, but the two of you were close enough that talking to him wasn’t too difficult.

“The Quidditch World Cup. Ron, didn’t you tell her?” He sat back up on your bed, looking over at Ron with his brow furrowed, “Your mum had you write her about it the other day, yeah?”

Ron smacked himself in the head, “I knew I was forgetting something! (Y/n), Dad got enough tickets to the Quidditch World Cup and you’re coming with us. Now, mum thought I wrote you and you’re supposed to be packed for school too, we’re taking all your stuff to the burrow and dropping you off at the Hogwarts express with the rest of us.”

“You’re only just now telling me?!” You tried not to shriek as you started packing faster, racking through your brain for all the things you’d need. You hadn’t gotten the list of books yet this year, but you intended on going before the year started. After running to the closet again and tossing your school uniform into the trunk, you ran over to the desk and shoved Ron aside to grab your box of letter writing things and some of the magical books you thought might be useful this year. While hastily stacking the boxes and books into your trunk, you ordered Ron and Harry from over your shoulder, “Ron, my potions kit should be under the bed. Harry, run to the bathroom and grab the small bag with butterflies on it, it should have my toothbrush, soap, shampoo, makeup -bathroom stuff. Well?”

The two boys nodded, a little intimidated at the speed you were packing. As Harry Ran to the bathroom, you turned to Ron.

“Do you remember the extra thing on the list this year? Fourth years and up needed…?”

“Don’t remind me. Fourth years and up need dress robes. I hate mine, they’re bloody awful,” he sighed, looking morose as he handed you your cauldron full of potion tools, “I’ll look like an old lady in them. What about you?”

You ran over to the closet, rifling through the jumpers and other clothes, tossing a Mrs.-Weasley-Handmade-Jumper into the trunk, “My mum took me out to get a dress a few days back, it should be...ah yes, here it is,” You pulled out a dress with see-through billowy sleeves and a skirt that went almost to the floor when you wore it, “You think this is good enough?” He raised his eyebrows, nodding.

“It looks nice,” You could tell he wasn’t too interested and agreed only to be polite, but you appreciate the sentiment as you carefully tucked it into your trunk. Harry came back and tossed the bag to you and you added it to your trunk before closing the lid and placing Eros’s cage on top. Sticking your wand back into your hair and slinging your yarn bag over your shoulder, you looked back at the two boys.

“Where are the twins? I thought they would have wanted to come pick me up?”

Ron tossed you the candy bars on your desk before walking to the other side of the trunk and helping you lift it, “Well, mum needed Hermione and Harry to help us get to a muggle house, and I tagged along. They wanted to come, but mum said she wanted to make a good impression on your parents and the last time they picked someone up from a muggle house dad had to go to at least a dozen ministry hearings.”

You chuckled, remembering how back in their third year they stole the car to pick up Harry from his aunt and uncle’s, “That sounds about right, Harry, could you get the door?”

Harry picked up Eros’s cage and held the door wide open as you and Ron waddled the trunk out of your room, stopping as you got to the edge of the stairs.

Your mum, Hermione, and Mrs. Weasley turned at the sound of you making your way down the hall. The two witches waved, their faces lighting up as you greeted them, then Mrs. Weasley pulled out her wand and waved it gently, “Let me help you with that, dearie,” She smiled as your trunk delicately floated down the stairs.

“(y/n), Mrs. Weasely and Miss-” She looked over at Hermione for a second, before Hermione answered. “Granger,” She smiled politely.

“Yes, Miss Granger just explained to me that their family was going to take you to a...Wizard Football match?” She smiled a little, puzzled by the own words coming out of her mouth, “they offered to have you stay at their house,” She glanced at your trunk and the wide grin on your face, “I take it you’re interested in going?”

You nodded vigorously before pausing, “Is...Is that alright with you?”

She smiled, though it looked a bit forced, “Yes, yes it is. Just make sure you brush up on your real school subjects, please. And do mind your manners.”

You practically squealed, your hands shaking excitedly as you ran to grab your normal shoes (school shoes and dress shoes had been packed in the trunk).

Mrs. Weasely thanked your mum again and the boys and Hermione helped carry your trunk out to the car. Once you had all settled in and started to drive off, Mrs. Weasley looked at you through the rearview mirror.

“Your mum seems like a wonderful lady, but she isn’t too fond of magic, is she?” She asked gently, and you noticed the whole car go a bit quiet.

“No, she isn’t. I think she’d rather I focus more on traditional muggle subjects than magic,” You answered shyly, looking down at the yarn in your bag.

“Ah well, I wouldn’t fret too much over that, dearie. Muggles can be like that sometimes, but she’ll come around,” She offered a smile through the mirror again. Before you knew it, you were back to talking with your younger friends, excitedly asking about their summers as the five of you made your trip back to the burrow.

[clonecest-bin-account]

Rex/Fives/Echo dom Rex subs Echo and Fives nsfw? If you’re comfortable with it Fives experiencing a sub drop?

(I’ll admit I’m not an expert on the subject but I tried. I hope you like it! Also oof this might’ve been the hardest prompt to fit in 1000 words or less...)

“Captain-- Holy shit!”

A harsh slap.

“I told you to be quiet, trooper.”

Rex voice is hard, vicious and sharp. It makes Fives shiver as he weakly nods, earning himself another slap.

“I said quiet.”

 Rex remembers the first time Fives and Echo came to him for this.

He didn’t have much experience in this - he was usually on the other side of things, shall we say - but he’s grown more confident time after time. After all practice makes perfect, doesn’t it?

 He looks down through his visor, enjoying the sight of Fives fucking Echo while Rex’s cock is buried deep inside him. They both have their hands tied behind their backs and, unlike Rex, they’re completely naked.

At first he wasn’t sure about wearing his full armor, but he’s grown fond of the practice: it helps to separate himself from the scene, and also taking if off is a good indicator of when things go back to normal. Besides, he’d lie if he said that hearing Echo and Fives call him Captain during these moments doesn’t do things to him.

Mmmh, Fives is truly giving his all, despite how hard it is for him to move. He’s earned himself some help: Rex grabs him by the hips, grip solid and ironlike, and after a moment of stillness, begins pounding into him, putting enough strength behind his thrusts that he manages to push Fives into Echo. This time, however, Fives has no power for himself, no way to dictate the rhythm anymore.

“Captain!” Echo moans, causing Rex to slap Fives’ ass.

“I said quiet!” he exclaims, trying not to soften his voice at the way Echo flinches. There will be time for softness later. “Or do you want me to keep punishing Fives for your mistakes?”

Echo shakes his head without making a sound. Smart boy.

“Now be good if you want to come.”

 Once they’re all done, every single one of them is incredibly spent. Still, Rex is aware of his responsibilities, and he would never shrink them: he helps both Fives and Echo get cleaned, he looks them up for any injury, he treats their bruises, kisses them, praises them and, after taking his armor off, lets them cuddle close to him and holds them as they recover.

“Are you sure you’re both ok?” he asks, because he’d never want to be - even indirectly - cause of discomfort. “Anything you need.”

“We’re fine…” Fives chuckles, burying his head against Rex’s chest.

“Just keep holding us?” Echo helpfully suggests.

Well, this is something Rex can absolutely do.

 Something’s weird with Fives: during missions, he’s always focused and on the job, but today it feels different. Since Rex has stepped into the barracks, armor just polished and bucket already on his head to tell them men to get ready, he’s gotten weird vibes from him.

He barely reacted, first of all, and he kept staring at Rex with such an empty gaze that after he was done Rex even asked him if he was alright; that seemed to shake him a bit and he says yes, that he was just a bit tired, but nothing he wouldn’t have been able to handle.

Turns out, that was a lie.

 “Do you know why I summoned you to my office?”

Fives just stares at Rex, impassive. “Yes, sir.”

“You almost blew up this entire mission, don’t you realize that?!” Rex exclaims, unnerved by Fives’ demeanor; he slams his palms against his desk, not missing the way Fives flinches at the sound. Ok, maybe it’s too much, but Fives needs to understand! “Look, we’re not always up to the challenge, I know. There are days in which we simply don’t feel good, it happens to all of us. Part of being a good soldier is also realizing when you’re not at your best and stepping out! You realize that we could’ve died if the General wasn’t there? Fives, I expected better from you…”

“I know…” Fives immediately mutters, swallowing, but then hardening his gaze. “I know this, Captain, but I…”

What?

“I-I…”

 His body begins shaking, which causes Rex to immediately drop the angry act as he rushes to the trooper’s side.

“Fives, are you ok?” he asks, worried.

“I don’t know,” comes the reply, before Fives breaks down crying. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Rex doesn’t think about it not even for a moment as he gathers Fives in a hug.

“Are you feeling sick? Should I call Kix?”

Fives shakes his head. “No, I’m not sick.”

“What is it then, Fives? Please, talk to me.” Rex can’t intervene if he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.

 He helps Fives sit on his desk - the man could barely stand - and he stays there, in front of him, keeping his face gently in his hands, knowing that even the smallest touch will ground him.

“It’s just… After, you know, we did the thing…” he begins explaining. Alright, they’re getting somewhere.

“Did something happen there?” Rex doesn’t remember anything particular happening, but maybe from Fives’ point of view it did.

“No, it was great,” the other replies, shaking his head. “It was after: I don’t know, I was just feeling down, then you came in, strolling in your armor, and I thought back to that and I…”

Oh, now Rex thinks he understands. He should’ve thought about it sooner.

“You should’ve told me that you were feeling like this,” he says, mindful to keep his voice gentle.

“But I never felt like this after we fuck, Rex! I was so afraid that I hadn’t been good enough…”

“No, Fives. You’ve been good,” Rex immediately cuts him off, figuring that it’s best not to let that train of thought continue. “You were amazing actually, and I’m so very proud of you.”

He slowly leans in to kiss his lips.

“What you’re feeling is completely normal. It happens sometimes, even after a session, so there’s nothing wrong with you, alright?”

Fives weakly nods. Rex kisses him again.

“Do you want me to call Echo?”

Fives nods again, this time with more conviction. It takes very little for Rex to comm Echo, asking him to join them in his office, only to then turn towards Fives.

“Alright, what else do you need?”

Fives hesitates just for a moment.

“Could you take your armor off? It makes me think about… You know…”

Rex nods, already unclasping his bracers. If it makes Fives feel more comfortable, so be it.

 By the time Echo arrives, both Rex and Fives have gotten rid of their armors.

It doesn’t take them long to explain what’s happening, which prompts Echo to immediately tell Fives: “You could’ve told me you were feeling like this.”

“I know, it was dumb… Sorry.”

“Oh well, at least we know now,” Echo immediately backtracks, unable to resist with Fives looking so down.

After Echo gets rid of his armor as well, they all cuddle on Rex’s couch. It’s not too comfortable - it’s an old thing that couch - but as long as they’re close, it’s good.

 At least Fives has calmed down, Rex thinks, mindlessly caressing his hair; he always melts when he’s pressed between him and Echo, though this time there’s nothing sexual behind this contact.

In less that Rex could’ve ever predicted, Fives falls asleep, with his head on Rex’s shoulder, hands intertwined with Echo’s, who’s caressing his palms. The two look at each other just for a moment, then their gaze turns immediately towards Fives.

Rex can’t help but to feel guilty about this - he should’ve sensed it from the start. The least he can do now is to offer him all the support he needs, and hope that the next time he’ll actually talk to him instead of keeping everything inside.

 “Rex…”

“What is it, Echo?”

“Mind if I take a nap too?”

“Go ahead,” Rex chuckles. Of course Echo would ask permission even for something like this.

After getting comfortable leaning against Fives, resting his head on his shoulder, even for Echo it doesn’t take long to fall asleep.

Rex can’t stop looking at them, his men, his lovers, and the more he looks the harder it is for him to fight the dumb smile off his face.

Actually, now that he thinks about it, Echo’s idea isn’t so bad. After all, this mission has been tiring.

Following his men’s example, then, Rex relaxes his body and closes his eyes; soon, he falls asleep too.

Tag list: @maulusque If you want to be added feel free to let me know!