#ooooh wait no i might make popcorn

[anonymoosen]

ZIMPAI SHIZPOST STORY PART 5: REALISATION 🤯⁉️

(WE’RE GETTING REAAAL CLOSE TO THE LAST PART GUYS-)

(THE LAST PART WILL BE RLLY SHORT CUZ THIS ONE IS PRETTY LONG KSSKDK)

Our lovely majestic tsundere green lizard boi ELEEEGANTLY pranced over to Dib-chans house with the cherry blossom petals blowing as intensely as ever.

“DEEEB-STINKKK BAH-KAAAHH!! I HAVE RETURNED AND- BLEHHH WHY DO THESE PINK FLOWER THINGIES KEEP HITTING MY FACE!?!”

Dib-chan immediately crashed through his own window from his room and landed on top of Zimpai, “accidentally” pinning him to the ground like that romantic move a lot of people use in movies.

The big headed boy giggled cutely with the usual sparkles in his eyes, “Ooooh woopsiess!! I totaaally didn’t know this cliche romantic trope would happen!!”

The alien rolled his and blushed deeply from the close proxZIMity and the way his crush’s voice sounded like the most adorable thing in the whole world— even cuter than their old class pet hamster, Peepi! (hehehehe peepeepoopoo)

Wait- NO! This is a disease! A CURSE!! The Dib-thing wanted me to fall prey into his hands this whole time!! Zim immediately shook his head and pushed Dib away. Dib-chan looked to the ground and wondered worriedly if he had gone too far in invading the invader’s personal space.

(HELP I JUST DOODLED THIS ON MAH PHONE SO BADLY 5 MIN AGO-)

Zim-kun tried not to feel bad about Dib looking a bit saddened and growled, “GRRR YOU’LL NEVER CURSE ME WITH THAT STYOOPID FEELING!”

Dib sighed and tried to hold back his once again returning sparkling anime tears. Of course it was one sided. Of course he got rejected by even the most annoying alien in the world. Who would even want some creepy weirdo like Dib?

Meanwhile, Gaz was eating popcorn while the whole cheesy but slightly angsty in a way Fanfiction scene played out. “Why are they acting even stupider than usual?” The whatever-colour-her-hair-is girl asked out loud. The question was then answered by a familiar British voice. “Innit!” Gaz blinked.

“Uh- what?”

“WAIT WHERE DID THAT BRITISH STEREOTYPE OF A WORD COME FROM- I MEAN-” The dark purple / indigo / dark blue (HELP IM BAD AT COLORS) alien girl continued, “Ahem, I meant that this whole anime stupidity Fanfiction scene was all part of my revenge plan! MuahahahAAHAHAAHHA!!”

Gaz face palmed. Was the hideous not-so-new girl, Tak, the one who she once viewed as the biggest threat to earth, THIS pathetic??

“Dude- you’re STILL plotting your revenge on these idiots? And you’re doing it by zapping them with some in-real-life-anime gun thingy??” Gaz asked, trying not to sound slightly intrigued by this. Tak saw the undeniable interest in Gaz’s eyes and smugly nodded. The shorter of the two gave up and shrugged. At least she had some show to watch! (even though it was too cheesy and stupid for her liking sometimes)

Back to the main drama going on, Zim noticed Dib trying to hold his tears and gulped. Why the heck did he even feel bad about his ENEMY?? He’s supposed to HATE that big headed dork! The dorkiest dork ever! The cutest- WAIT-

The alien tried to look away. However, it couldn’t be helped. The so-called ‘curse’ was too strong, like the big-headed boy was a magnet pulling Zim’s eyes to look at his adorable face.

Could it beeeee… that the feeling Zimpai was feeling…

WASN’T a curse?!11!1?! hOW ShoCKiNG-

NO!! (Z)IMPOSSIBLEEE!! Invaders needed NO ONEEEE!

…But no one is perfect, and Dib can be his no one-

“LIEEESSS!” The alien desperately screeched out loud on the top of his lungs (or whatever aliens had). Dib raised an eyebrow in confusion, distracting him from the overwhelming sadness he was trying to hide. “I…uhhh- didn’t say anything…?”

———

WELP ZIM IS SLOWLY (SO FRIGGIN SLOWLY) REALISING HIS FEELINGS FOR DOBBLE DIBBY BOO BOO BEAR MIGHT BE REAAL!1!1!1 HOW UNEXPECTEDDD!1!1!

(HELP ME IM RUNNING OUTTA IDEAS SO IM MAKING THIS A VERY VERY SLOW PROGRESS FOR THEM FIRKFK)

———-

FIRST

PREV

NEXT

[practically-an-x-man]

Your OCs wake up tied up in a strange place... Actually kidnapped. What happens next?

*I get out the popcorn because I suspect I might know the answer for at least one of your OCs*

Ooooh very interesting! Thank you!!

Rae: Sits there for a while, chattering away. She keeps a shield up the entire time, preventing her captors from trying anything physical, though she's restrained too well to do anything offensive herself. She just keeps mentioning that her "guardian angel" will save her - they all think it's some kind of religious plea and laugh it off... right up until Warren shows up and picks them off one by one. Rae didn't even break a sweat.

Robin: I mean, she's broken out of prison before, and on multiple occasions. She probably sustains a few injuries at the beginning, especially after she busted half her captors' eardrums with a sonic blast and they got pissed, but she slips away as soon as they make the mistake of leaving her alone. She finds the nearest phone and calls Peter, and he picks her up a moment later

Jasper: Honestly... wouldn't do as well as they'd like to expect. I mean, there's a difference between saying "Oh yeah if I was kidnapped I'd just use my empathic powers to give my kidnappers panic attacks and escape while they're incapacitated"... and actually getting kidnapped. I don't want to say they'd die, or come into serious bodily harm, but it would take them a while to pull themself together enough to come up with a plan to escape.

Madison: At first, would get a spike of panic at the situation - she hates feeling helpless, and she really hates having her hands restrained, so she wouldn't have a good time. But once she recovered her bearings a bit, she manages to twist around to her multitool in her pocket and is able to cut away at her bindings. She's always got at least one knife on her, they really should have known better than to use ordinary rope to tie her down.

Ophelia: It only takes her a few moments to get her bearings, and then she's working on getting herself untied. She's taken more than her share of self-defense classes, so her escape is actually fairly by-the-books. By the time Peter swings in to rescue her, just a few minutes later, she's walking right out the front door.

Quinn: Doesn't make any drastic escape attempts (not much she could do, being tied to a chair and having limited mobility to begin with), but she manages to annoy her captors enough that they eventually just let her go. They tried to "shut her up" with torture, but she's got such a high pain tolerance that she just kept going. She catches a cab and limps home before the other Ghosts have even realized she's gone (though she does have to explain all the blood and injuries to Billy, of course)

Kestrel: Is gone almost before the capture begins. I mean, what restraints can hold a literal shapeshifter? By the time their kidnappers enter the room, all they see is a flash of rusty-red feathers flying out the nearest window. And that's assuming they were somehow able to capture Kestrel to begin with.

Katherine: probably freaks out a bit at first - I mean, hell, it's not like she's ever been kidnapped before! - but gets ahold of herself after a few moments and ends up reaching for her magic. She's home safe by suppertime, and her captors are discovered the next day with huge, gruesome claw marks littering their bodies. The police claim a lion escaped from the local zoo, but they can't quite explain it...

Nikoletta: Wakes up, looks around, realizes she's captured... and then the sun passes behind a cloud and she jumps into the resulting shadow to escape. Her captors are extremely confused.

Eris: Ohoho, this is the one I've been waiting for so I saved it for last. Eris wakes up, realizing the situation immediately but still being completely unconcerned, and asks their captors for a phone call. They're just confused enough to oblige, sprinkling in a threat that no matter who he calls, they won't get there in time. Eris just shrugs.

"That's cute. I'm not calling Rick to rescue me. I'm calling him to get the tarp and bucket ready for when I'm done."

Needless to say, their kidnappers last a whole five more, very bloody minutes.

[daincrediblegg]

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

Keen to hear your thoughts!

ooooh this is a good one because honestly I don't think there are any characters whose queerness that I would dispute. The only thing I can think of that might be altered than fandom perspective on it is Irving being ace (or on the ace spectrum at least) in addition to being queer. The climbing exercises and watercolors suggestions make a lot more sense with that added context. Like jokes on you hickey he wasn't being homophobic he just is sex repulsed and by you having sex specifically. Oh wait. I know. It's des voex. That guy does not have a gay bone in his body. he's the kind of guy who would say slurs in an mmo chat regularly and mean it. also I've decided to survey my friends on this topic and Stanley was also floated because yeah. that's a cishet man if ever there was one. And all this is very funny considering I've been seeing a lot of stanvoex 'attic wife au' stuff being floated around lately and I'm just watching it all happen from afar in awe and with popcorn.

ASK GAME: UNPOPULAR OPINION EDITION

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 3

THREE - Little Shop Of Horrors

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Bucky vividly remembers being about 10 years old and sitting on the living room floor watching his father assemble a heavy cabinet made from dark, massive wood. It had intricate gold ornaments along the sides and around the edges and even at that young age, he knew that it must’ve been expensive.

He likes thinking back to that memory, mostly because it’s one of the few that he can still tightly hold onto and recount the exact way he’s felt then, and partly because it’s so seemingly insignificant. It’s nice to know that some of the memories he regained after having his mind wiped clean, are tiny unimportant ones. It’s not just the big moments and grand gestures that make life worth living. Sometimes it’s the little things, the small details you look back on and fondly remember with a smile on your face.

Looking at the furniture before him, Bucky can’t imagine what his mother would think of these cabinets. Everything is white or beige or grey and there’s a lot of shiny black fronts and glass doors. The place is huge, so huge they have to tape arrows on the floor so people don’t get lost, and it smells of artificial vanilla and sawdust.

It’s not like he hates the furniture here, it’s just a lot and quite honestly, he’s not sure what really matches his personal style. Hell, he hasn’t had a personal style since before he went to fight in the war.

“ Ooooh, this one is very you! “ (Y/N) exclaims as she lets herself fall onto a fluffy brown 2-seat sofa.

If it wasn’t for her, Bucky wouldn’t be here. Not only because he wants her to come around more often and actually be able to sit on a couch, but also because she was literally the one driving them both here.

“Watcha doin? “

That was the text that started it, and before he knew she had pulled up to his apartment building, arm hanging from her open car window, and yelled “Get in loser, we’re going furniture shopping! “

Bucky assumes that is another movie reference though he doesn’t dare ask her about it.

“Nope, that’s a two-seater. Too small. I want to be able to sleep on it. “

“ Or, and hear me out on this one, you could get a new bed to sleep in. “

He doesn’t have any reply to that. It’s not like he doesn’t want to sleep in his bed, it’s just — it’s too soft. It’s too comfortable. It makes it easy to fall asleep and dream. And it’s never pleasant dreams. It’s nightmares. It’s faces that haunt him. Innocent faces. Eyes filled with terror. Fear. Fear of him. It’s nightmares. It’s memories.

When he doesn’t answer, (Y/N) pulls herself back up from the sofa and wanders on “or we’ll just have to find a bigger couch, that’s fine too. “

And at that moment he’s entirely grateful that she doesn’t push him any further.

They wander around the store for a while longer, slalom in between sofas and recliners, swerve in and out of mock-up rooms, all the while (Y/N) keeps throwing puns at him incorporating the Swedish names of the furniture.

Hanging out with her kind of reminds him of the times he hung out with Steve when both of them were so much younger. Of course, it’s nothing alike. He’s not even close to the person he was then, the boy he was then. The thing is, back then everything was easy and light. Being here with her and listening to her horrible puns, that’s easy too. For right now, he doesn’t even notice the weight that’s constantly resting on his heart or the perpetual shadow that seems to rest above him. This is easy and it feels so nice.

They step into yet another room, this one painted a dark forest green. Against the wall, there’s a dark wooden cabinet holding books and a fake tv and in the middle is a corner sofa made from dark brown leather. It’s big enough to fit both him and (Y/N) and maybe even Lady if she’s okay with cuddling up a little to either of them.

“ I like that one,” Bucky says and lets himself plop down on the couch. It’s comfortable but not too soft. It’s just right. Is this what Goldilocks felt like?

(Y/N) sits down next to him, rests her feet on top of the couch table and for a second it’s just them and the black screen of the fake tv and the intercom system calling out for little Kyle to be picked up at the Småland play area.

“ Honey, “ (Y/N) speaks up after a moment, “ I think the tv is broken? “ her voice ringing through the mock-up in a thick Transatlantic accent, making her sound like the women in the movies he grew up with.

“ Huh. Ain’t that something ?”

“ Well didn’t you fix it like I told you? “

“ Guess I must’ve forgotten,” Bucky plays along, trying to suppress the smirk pulling the corner of his lips upwards.

“ Ugh, remind me again why I married you? “

Bucky shrugs his shoulders casually “ my good looks? “

“ Oh, don’t flatter yourself. It’s very unbecoming. Good thing is — “ she announces as jumps up, pulling Bucky up with her and right over into the next mock-up living room. “ We have another tv.”

As Kyle’s parents are called out again, (Y/N) and Bucky tumble from one room into the next. From kitchen to bathroom to fake little balcony. All setting the stage for another chapter from their made-up marriage. Scenes from a movie never made, a book never written. A beautiful kaleidoscope of could-be and never-was. A nice fantasy to get lost in.

If this was a rom-com, (Y/N) thinks, this would be the falling in love montage. Some killer indie track would play in the background and it would be featured in at least one Buzzfeed article about romantic gestures.

But it’s not a movie, it’s real life and she isn’t the romantic lead and Bucky is — well he would make a great leading man now that she thinks about it.

They make their way back to the green living room with the brown couch and the ‘broken’ tv and fall back against the leather, laughter shaking their bodies, tears of joy stinging at the corners of their eyes. As she catches her breath, (Y/N) taps Bucky softly on the right shoulder and drops her voice to a whisper.

“Honey,” she says “I don’t know how to tell you this but uh — there’s a family on our balcony.”

Bucky’s eyes follow her outstretched hand and sure enough on the adjacent fake balcony is a family of 4 staring back at them. And just like that, they fall back into a beautiful harmony of laughter.

“So explain to me again what this movie is about?” Bucky asks as (Y/N) takes another sip from her coke can.

“Dude buys a plant, it starts eating people.”

“And this is gonna show me what women want these days?”

A joyful chuckle falls from (Y/N)’s lips. “I mean … there is a love story and a moral about how far you’re willing to go for the people you love even if it might be morally questionable, but maybe — maybe we should consider this one the Halloween special.”

Bucky shrugs his shoulder as if to say “okay fine with me” and leans back against the car seat. The massive screen of the drive-in is currently playing some kind of ice cream commercial that has (Y/N) softly humming along to the jingle.

This trip wasn’t planned, in fact, they’d been on their way back home when a billboard at the side of the road caught (Y/N)’s attention and put a huge grin on her face, so wide it could’ve split her face in two.

That’s how he ended up parked neatly in a row of cars, Coca-Cola in hand, popcorn resting in between him and (Y/N) waiting for the commercials to end and the movie to begin.

“You’re gonna love this one,” she’s told him beforehand. He’s a little skeptical about it but he’s not gonna tell her. Bucky is just so appreciative of the fact that she bothers trying to introduce him to these things. They might not end up being for him but it’s a good feeling to have someone care this much. Someone who hasn’t been with him through all the shit. Someone who doesn’t feel responsible because they pity him. Someone who doesn’t owe it to Steve to look after Bucky…

“So … I still have some homework to do.” He chimes in thinking back to their conversation on his living room floor.

“Homework that involves me?”

“Mmh. Doc thinks I should learn some more things about you. Apparently, it’s not enough to know that you’re crazy about movies and talk a lot.”

“I do talk a lot.” (Y/N) agrees and pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “I don’t know what to tell you. What you want to know?”

“Anything.”

Since coming back from oblivion, Bucky hasn’t really made an effort to get to know anyone. Growing closer to people only means there’s more for you to lose. More people you can potentially hurt. He doesn’t usually learn new things about people because he doesn’t ask. Because he doesn’t want to know. It’s a lonely life but it’s safe. It’s comfortable.

But this is different. He’s in too deep now to stop. And yeah, maybe this is his homework. Maybe he asks because his therapist told him too but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He wants to know about (Y/N). Even the little things. The insignificant details.

“Well as I said before, I’ve studied literature and creative writing. I want to be an author. That’s uh — that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. The thing is it’s very hard to actually get people to give your writing a chance. Especially now. The world is in such a weird limbo after everyone came back. There’s no room for my art right now. So I work as a waitress to make ends meet. “

“What would you write about?” Bucky asks and in her eyes, in the surprise that’s so clearly written on her face, he can see that people don’t ask her that all too often.

“I don’t know, life? “

“Love stories?”

She lets out a mix between a scoff and a snort “what do I know about romance? I can tell you all about the love the movies and the songs and the books want to sell us, and don’t get me wrong, I love that. But I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced true and honest romantic love. So how could I ever write about it ?”

For a moment silence falls upon them. It’s neither comfortable nor awkward. It just is. Sometimes that’s enough.

“Look, I might not know a lot about love either, but I do know that dreams are worth holding on to, no matter how out of reach they seem. If it’s something you believe in and that you’re passionate about, it’s worth fighting for it.”

“Huh, didn’t put you for such a motivational speaker. Where’ve you got that from”

“Didn’t think the skinny boy from Brooklyn was ever gonna save a whole bunch of lives and fight in a war. Steve was the walking proof that you can do anything. “

“You miss him, huh?”

People don’t usually ask about Steve. They either don’t care how Bucky feels about the whole situation or they know it’s a tough topic and avoid it altogether. The worst part is he doesn’t even know how to respond. Yes of course he misses Steve, more than anything really, but there’s also a little bit of resentment swinging along. With Steve here by his side, it always felt like there was someone there who understood exactly what Bucky was going through. Someone who also had to figure out how to navigate this new life. But now with Steve gone, he feels so utterly alone.

“Every day.”

“Look I’m not going to ask what happened because quite honestly I’m still trying to grasp the fact that there are aliens and superheroes and wizards — “

“Wizards are not a thing.”

“You sure?”

Bucky lets out a slightly annoyed sigh “Yup. 100%”

“What’s the Strange guy?”

“Sorcerer.”

“That’s not the same?”

“No.”

(Y/N) considers for a moment, eyes screwed up in uncertainty before she shrugs her shoulder “ alright if you say so. Anyway, my point is, I don’t know if you have that many people to talk to and I don’t know if you even want to talk about Steve but if you do … well you can talk to me. I know I talk a lot but I’m also a really good listener. “

There’s no doubt in his mind that she is. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to talk about Steve yet though. Not when his heart is still at war whether or not to be angry. Not when he’s still so uncertain about his own complicated emotions.

“Thanks, I uh — I appreciate it.”

Loud music starts to play and (Y/N)’s head snaps towards the screen just in time for the title card to pop up in big colorful letters as three women shimmy across the street and start singing.

Bucky can’t help but let his gaze travel back towards (Y/N) every once in a while. There’s something about her he can’t quite figure out, but the way her eyes light up as she watches the movie and the smile on her face, it gives him a warm feeling. Like bad things don’t exist for the 90 minutes they sit together and watch a film.

“Sooooo?” (Y/N) asks as she parks the car in front of Bucky’s place. Her eyes still hold a sparkle that’s both mischievous and excited.

“I actually liked this one a little.”

“A little?”

“Look it’s not gonna be my favorite movie but I had fun. But uh — maybe that’s just because I’ve watched it with you.”

(Y/N) grants him a beautiful smile. It’s full of warmth and care and honesty. And he’s glad he told her, even if it makes him vulnerable.

“You telling me I’m a good friend?”

“Guess so.”

“Well, you’re a good friend too, Bucky.”

He hopes she’s right though he has a hard time believing it. He’s never seen himself as the greatest friend. Everything he did for Steve he did because he knew Steve would do the same. It came so naturally from both of them that it never felt like he was doing anything special or exceptional. It was as easy as breathing.

“Do you wanna come up? We could order some food.”

“Oh, I can’t. Gotta pick up Lady from Robin’s place. But as soon as your couch is delivered count me in as the first sleepover guest. “

“Will do. Hey, you think I should name the plant we bought (Y/N) 2?”

“Depends, you wanna feed the neighborhood Dentist to it”

“Maybe.”

They fall into another fit of laughter and even though it’s not that funny, and even though it’s really dumb and silly actually, Bucky enjoys it so much. He can’t remember a day when he laughed this much, felt this light.

“Oh, by the way, I’m throwing a pre-Halloween-party next weekend. If you’re free you should totally drop by.”

“I um — A friend is coming around that weekend.”

“Then bring your friend! The more the merrier, right ?”

Sam is gonna be down, there’s no doubt in Bucky’s mind about it. Sam isn't the problem, he never is. It’s Bucky. Going to a party is terrifying for someone who’s never known anything but the 1940s. This can only end up in disasters.

And yet …

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

“Cool. Awesome. Just uh — Just text me when you know. Also, there’s no special theme so you can dress up as whatever.”

“I’m not dressing up.”

(Y/N) blows a raspberry against her arm “lame! But whatever, you do you.”

He guesses that means as much as “suit yourself”.

They bid each other goodbye with a hug and a promise from (Y/N) to Bucky to text him once she’s home just so he knows she’s safe.

To her, that’s a gesture so sweet and endearing it sends a jolt through her heart. To him, it’s as natural as breathing. You do what you can to keep those safe that you care about, even if it’s just a simple little text.

“You dressed up!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Man, You’re wearing a costume. I’m looking at you right now. I can see it. You dressed up.”

“These are just my clothes.”

“These are just your clothes? Your normal clothes?”

“Yes.”

“You’re wearing Converse now?”

“ mmh.”

“Your Jeans are cuffed, man. I’ve never seen you cuff your jeans.”

“It’s something I do now.”

Bucky isn’t a very religious person. He doesn’t pray very often. At that moment though, he prays to god and every higher spirit one might choose to believe in, to open up the earth and let it swallow him whole.

“Look,” Sam says and gives Bucks a friendly pat on the back “you don’t gotta be embarrassed by it. I dressed up!”

“Yeah, what even are you, by the way? An exterminator?”

“I — what? No! I’m a ghostbuster.”

“Okay. Whatever that is.”

“Whatev— Bucky, Man you really gotta go with the times a little. I know you’re practically ancient but the Ghostbusters? Catch up!”

“Whatever. I'm not dressing up. Can we go?” Bucky sighs in exasperation, making Sam’s grin grow even bigger. Bucky knows that he’s just playing into his game, that Sam loves riling him up. That doesn’t mean it’s any easier to not let it get to him.

“Alright alright. Hold your horses. I’m ready. Let’s go … Danny Zuko.”

Bucky wants to punch him then but Sam is out the door faster than Bucky can even react, his loud laughter sounding through the hallway.

There are people everywhere. Sitting on the kitchen counter, lounging on the couches, leaning against the wall by the open windows. Everywhere. The apartment is small and with so many people inside, it looks absolutely packed. Like sardines in a tin.

Music echos through the place, a song Bucky faintly recognizes from the radio but can’t name. Sam seems to enjoy it though, his body already swaying along to the tune.

“Hey Buck, where’s your girl?” He asks as both of them let their eyes travel across the room and over the crowd.

“She’s not my girl and I don’t —“

In the middle of the room is a fish tank. It separates the living room area from the dining room and kitchen. Blue and green hues radiate from it as colorful fish circle around and swerve in and out of the plants.

But Bucky hardly noticedsthe fish, as his eyes fall onto the girl at the other side of the tank. The water sends a blue shimmer across her skin but her smile doesn’t lose any of the warmth it always holds. She looks beautiful. She always does but there’s something about her tonight that’s different from all the times he’s seen her before. Something ethereal.

At that moment, Bucky feels a fluttery feeling in his heart, in his bones, in his blood. He knows this feeling, has felt it before, a long time ago. Maybe, he thinks, maybe there could be more than friendship there.

And that thought absolutely terrifies him. Because falling for someone makes you foolish and dumb and vulnerable. And that’s awfully scary.

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //: 

@zaynzierulez // @je-like-you // @dracoxxyoflam​ // @jackiehollanderr​ // @majo240820 // @kay-gilles // @booksb4looksstuff​ // @jckie94​ // @charmed-asylum​ // @shawnie--jo​ // @yllwtaxi​ // ​​

[trashyswitch]

How Does a Skeleton Work Exactly?

The Sequel to 'Can a Skeleton be Ticklish?'.

Arial had been tickled by some of the sides a couple weeks back, and was now playing a casual card game. But things quickly get competitive and unfair. Virgil eagerly decides to use his new knowledge on Arial and her love for tickling to tease her. Janus and Remus quickly join in and ticklish chaos breaks loose.

This sequel was suggested by @smileheart110. Here you go! And of course, please let me know if I got your character wrong or inaccurate. I will happily fix it for you.

I hope you enjoy!

Arial was sitting at the table with the dark sides and playing Spoons. Remus was being a bit of an evil cheater, and Arial was growing determined to catch him red-handed. Not literally though...That would be awkward…

“Look at how fast I’m going…So speedy...” Janus said with no expression. Arial looked over at Janus, and bursted out laughing: Janus was desperately trying to move a bunch of the cards over to Remus, while more cards piled up on top of the pile he was sorting through. It was an endless pile and you could tell, Janus was having none of it.

Arial was so close to getting all four Jacks in her hand. She was quickly shuffling through to find the last one. 5 heart, 10 spade, 7 spade, King diamond, Ace heart, 2 club-

Janus quickly grabbed a spoon first. Virgil, who immediately noticed him, grabbed a spoon next. Arial looked up, and grabbed the last spoon by the handle. But Remus had grabbed the end of the same spoon!

“No! It’s mine!” Remus yelled.

“I grabbed it first!” Arial shot back. “Let go!”

“Only if you let go~” Remus teased.

Virgil summoned himself some popcorn. “Let’s see how long this goes for.”

“12 seconds? Or 12 years?” Janus asked.

Virgil chuckled at that. “How about 5 minutes?”

“Remus you’re being ridiculous!” Arial yelled.

Janus wheezed. “And Arial’s not being ridiculous whatsoever.”

“Yeah Re- HEY!” Arial shouted. “How dare! Why don’t you fix this instead of making fun of us.”

Janus threw his hands up in the air. One of his hands had his own spoon in it. “Hey now...It’s not like I grabbed the spoon first and started this cycle or anything…”

“Yeah, you started it. So finish it.” Arial shot back at Janus.

“Fine.” Janus leaned back and took a handful of Virgil’s popcorn. Then, he started to obnoxiously chew.

Arial groaned. “You’re not doing anything!” She reacted.

Janus lifted up his hand full of popcorn. “Yes I am. I’m eating popcorn.” Janus replied, his mouth somewhat full.

Arial growled and kicked Janus’s foot under the table.

Virgil looked up and crossed his arms. “One of you could easily resolve this by letting go of the spoon. It’s just a game.” Virgil mentioned.

“Yeah! A game I’m determined to win!” Arial shot back.

Remus chuckled and smirked at her. “A little reminder that you’re only made of bone.” Remus mentioned as he poked her forearm. “I could easily break it.” Remus told her.

Arial widened her eyes. “You would’t...” She warned.

Virgil widened his eyes and frowned. “Remus, no.”

“Oooooh, but Remus yes!” Remus replied.

“If you so much as crack my arm, I am going to kick my bony toes right into your crotch.” Arial threatened.

Virgil and Janus both made pain-filled reactions. Virgil made a cringe-filled hiss, while Janus squished his face and muttered a low “Ooooooh...Yikes.”

Janus crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “Remus, breaking her arm would not benefit anyone. It’s an unnecessarily painful thing to intentionally do to someone, especially because of a card game. You would hurt her greatly, and she’ll hate you throughout the healing process.” Janus warned.

Remus shrugged his shoulders. “I guess you’re right.”

“On top of that, we would be down a player for the rest of the afternoon...and the rest of the month.” Janus added. “And we totally DeSpIsE when Arial is over for game night.” Janus mentioned.

Arial smiled and covered her face. “Awww!”

“Alright alright! I get it. No breaking her bone.” Remus said back. “I wasn’t actually gonna do it. It was just a threat. Just like how Arial threatened to turn my balls into smushed meatballs with her foot.” Remus added.

“Alright Remus we get it.” Virgil muttered.

Then, Virgil looked at Arial and smirked a little. “Breaking her bones is off the table. But you do bring up a good point, Janus…” Virgil stood up and walked behind Arial. “She does feel many things despite looking like she doesn’t have nerves.” Virgil added with a hint of evil mischief showing up in his voice.

Arial widened her eyes and grew worried. “Whaaat are you planning…” Arial warned.

“Nothing, I swear.” Virgil replied. “I’m just-”

“Liar! You’re gonna sabotage my victory!” Arial yelled.

Virgil shook his head and lifted her up by the armpits. “I’m just picking you up.”

Arial blinked and looked down a little, confused and tense. “Why are you-”

Arial suddenly squeaked and lifted her knees up to her chest. Virgil’s smirk grew wider. “What? A little ticklish?” He asked as he skittered his pinkies on her bony armpit. Arial laid her head against her left shoulder and started to grow a lopsided smile. “Vihihirge- NOHO!”

“Ooooh...What an unexpected turn of events…” Janus reacted softly.

“Whaaat? I’m just holding you, I swear.” Virgil reacted calmly.

“Nohoho yohohohou’re nahahat! Yohohohou’re tihihicklihihing mehehe with yohohour nihimble fihihihingehehers!” Arial reacted.

Virgil hummed in almost a hurt kind of tone, and looked at his pinky. “Are they really that nimble?” Virgil asked.

Arial nodded her head.

Remus laughed at that. “Have you seen your own fingers, sweet pea? You’ve got the most nimble fingers out of all of us!” Remus reacted as he grabbed Arial’s ring finger. “Just look at these! They have no meat on-”

Remus ended up pulling a bit too hard, causing Arial’s full finger to fall right off the joint. Arial widened her eyes as she saw only her ring finger’s knuckle left on her hand. “You pulled-”

Virgil let out a loud shout and dropped Arial onto the ground. He fled backwards as quickly as he could, and covered his mouth. “REMUS YOU IDIOT!”

Remus yelped and dropped the finger and the spoon. The moment her finger smacked on the ground, Arial grunted and closed an eye. “Ow…” Arial knelt down and picked up her finger and the spoon. “Guys it’s-”

“Why did you do that?! SHE CAN’T REATTACH THAT NOW!” Virgil shouted. “NOT WITHOUT A DOCTOR!”

Remus put his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know her nimble fingers were capable of falling off that easily!” Remus reacted back.

“She’s a skeleton. It’s not like she has muscles or skin on her fingers. If she did, her fingers wouldn’t pop off as easily from a light pull.” Janus added.

“You think I don’t know that?!” Remus yelled back at Janus.

“We need to call 911 now!” Virgil shouted as he whipped out his phone.

“GUYS!”

Everyone stopped yelling and turned to the source of the overpowering voice. Arial had her finger flipped up at them. But...it wasn’t the middle finger. It was the ring finger!

Wait...How did the ring finger get back onto her hand?!

Virgil was the first to point at the finger. “How-”

Arial smiled. “It’s okay. Removing the joint doesn’t hurt me.” Arial demonstrated by removing the finger from her knuckle again. It didn’t even make a pop sound like bone joints normally do when they separate slightly. Arial showed them every angle of her separated digit. “Not only that:” Arial curled her finger in as well, and uncurled it with no trouble despite it still being separated from her hand. “I can move it too. Weird, right?” Arial added.

Virgil was visibly tense upon seeing the digit move on its own like it was from a horror game. Virgil looked like he was actually gonna scream again, but quickly covered his own mouth with his hand.

Janus had calmed down and even started to smile. “Interesting. Logan totally wouldn’t experiment on you for hours if you told him.” Janus joked.

Arial chuckled at that and reattached the finger. “That’s not the only joint I can detach…” Arial gently pulled on her hand and watched with a smile as the hand and wrist bits detached from her lower forearm. Arial held up her hand and waved at them with her 4 fingers. “Cool, right?”

Remus was ecstatic! “Can I hold the hand?! Please please please please PRETTY PLEEEEAAAASE?” Remus begged.

Arial burst out laughing and handed her free hand to him. Remus felt the hand excitedly, and manipulated it carefully. Arial clenched her teeth slightly to prevent from giggling. His small pokes and prods tickled her a little.

She mentally let out a breath of relief when Remus moved onto creating symbols with her hand. “Look!” Remus started showing off the middle finger he had made from her hand with clear pride in his eyes. “It’s a boney fuck you!” Remus declared.

Janus let out a breath of relief. “I thought you were gonna say something else…”

Arial laughed at Remus’s joking around. But her laughter quickly halted as she felt herself get lifted up. It was Virgil! “Up we go, you little trickster.” Virgil declared.

Arial giggled and wrapped her arms around Virgil. “Am I really that humerus?” Arial asked.

Virgil raised an eyebrow and grew a grin. “Think you’re such a witty bone-fied genius?” Virgil asked.

“Tibia-honest, yes.” Arial replied.

“That’s it!” Virgil threw Arial onto the couch. Arial laughed at his unusual reaction as she landed on the soft cushions. But all her laughter paused the moment Virgil grabbed her ankle. “Since I know your joints can be harmlessly pulled off you, I can do this:'' Virgil removed Arial’s foot and ran away with it. Arial let out a super high-pitched shriek and reached out. “HEY! YOU MEANIE- OHOHO FAHAHAHAHA!” Arial immediately fell back laughing hysterically as her foot was attacked mercilessly.

“Nimble fingers, and flat feet! What a fun mix!” Virgil reacted. Then, Virgil pointed to Janus and Remus. “Any of you want the second foot? It’s free for the taking.” Virgil told them.

“IHIHIS NAHAHAT!” Arial yelled back.

“Are you sure? She might not want this.” Janus mentioned.

Virgil giggled at that. “Trust me: she loves being tickled.” Virgil told them.

Janus grinned widely upon that news. “Make that surprise número dos!” Janus said in part spanish.

“I CALL DIBS!” Remus shouted as he ran to her foot. “Mine!” Remus pulled on the foot and accidentally got her ankle as well! “Oops...Welp, more to tickle!” Remus declared.

“AAAH! WAIT-” Arial was immediately shut up by Remus’s weirdly soft skittering fingers. UHUHUNFAHAHAHAIR! AHAHAHAHAHA!” Arial shouted as she kicked her legs to cope with the strong tickles.

“Hey...Hey Remus...Is her ankle ticklish?” Janus asked.

Remus paused his tickling and decided to try it. “Let’s see…” Remus started gently skittering and scratching on the different sides of her ankle.

“EEEEEEHEHEHEhehehehehe! REEHEheheheheEHEHEHE NOHOhohoHOHOHohoho!” Arial begged.

“No, her ankles are totally not ticklish.” Janus replied. “Not ticklish at aaaaall…”

Remus smirked as he detached the ankle and handed it to Janus. “Here: Free tickle spot!” Remus said.

Janus smiled. “Wonderful. Her laughter is totally not the cutest thing in the world, and definitely not worth ending the game over.” Janus replied as he started tickling her ankle.

Arial rolled around all over the couch as she giggled and laughed. This was SO unfair! And yet...The best scenario to ever take place! It would be even CRAZIER if Fluffymary read this fanfic and drew fanart for it. If they did, Arial would surely die of the embarrassment from her lee mood.

The moment Virgil went up to scritch on Arial’s toes, she was done for. She shook her head around like a bobble head and let out her first snort!

Remus grew super excited at the sound. “SHE SNORTS!”

“Hmm...I sense there’s more to her anatomy than meets the eye.” Janus added.

“...Janus...You are currently tickling a girl with no visible Larynx or vocal cords, no visible tongue and no eyeballs…” Virgil mentioned.

Arial’s laughter only went up an octave after Virgil’s comment! The emo was completely right! The only thing she really lacked was a stomach!

Soon, the boys gave her a break. Arial went limp against the couch and breathed heavily to get her endurance leveled out. Janus handed Remus the skeleton’s separated ankle and watched Remus connect the ankle and foot together again. Then, Remus handed Arial her foot back.

“Tha…*huff* Thank you Re...Remus.” she replied.

Virgil handed her the other foot and gave her a glass of water with it as well. Arial drank some of the water, and looked up at Virgil and Remus. “Hey you two: look.” Arial separated her big toe from her right foot and dropped it into the water.

Virgil looked down awkwardly, quickly growing uncomfortable with the thought of soggy bone. Remus looked closer at the bone and noticed it was turning more yellow than white. “Why is it yellow-y white now?” Remus asked.

“Because it’s wet now. That’s what wet bone looks like. Because my bones are alive yet not engulfed in wet layers, my bones go more and more white from exposure.” Arial explained.

Remus hummed curiously and poked his finger between two of the ribs. “Am I able to-”

“OhoHOHOHOhohohokahahahay...Ihihi dihihid NOHOHOT expehect thahahat!” Arial admitted.

“Sorry Arial. I wanted to see if I could fit my fingers through your ribs.” Remus told her bluntly.

Arial chuckled with her eyebrow raised. They’re so weird. After a bit of thought, Arial lifted up her shirt and watched Remus bring his finger over to her rib spaces.

Remus started to put his fingers through the different rib spaces that were lower and more safe to touch. Remus discovered he could fit his pinky and ring finger through her ribs! But his thumb and index finger were too big for her rib spaces. All of it tickled enough to make her giggle through the whole thing.

Arial had to watch and feel every ticklish move Remus made with his hands and wiggly fingers. The anticipation was both anxiety-inducing, yet adrenaline-rising! She couldn’t figure out if she liked all the excitement, or didn’t like the unpredictability. Remus could strike at any given moment. Remus could easily change his mind and start full-blown tickling her in a surprise attack. But even his unintentional tickling was still tickling her.

Remus’s moving through her ribs would move quicker and turn more intense, before slowing back down. It was SOOO EEEVIL!

“OHOKAHAHAY! Thahahat’s ehehenohohough!” Arial decided, pulling her shirt down and giggling up a storm. “Nohoho mohohohore guihinea pihihig time.”

“Well that didn’t take long at all!” Remus reacted.

“Well how would you feel if you had fingers wiggling in between your sensitive ribs?” Virgil started skittering and digging his fingers into Remus’s ribs. He made sure to pay particular attention to the Duke’s rib spaces.

“aaAAAHAHAHAHAHA! VIHIHIRGILYOUFUCKING AHAHAHAHAHASS!” Remus shouted at him.

“Sorry Remus! I wanted to see if I could fit my fingers through your ribs!” Virgil teased as he continued to ‘attempt’ to fit his fingers through Remus’s muscle-covered ribs. “Oh wait! You have muscles and skin!” Virgil acted. “That means you’re eleven moooore ticklish!” Virgil started massaging Remus’s ribs and ab muscles next. Remus had a particularly tight core. For some people, this would make massaging it more painful. But for Remus, this made Remus more ticklish beyond belief!

Remus quickly flopped to the ground and landed smack dab onto his right shoulder and hip. Thankfully, it didn’t really hurt that much. Virgil knelt down, and just kept on skittering and massaging his fingers into the abs and lower ribs of the Duke of Stinkyton. Remus had completely lost his composure and was now laughing hysterically below the emo.

Oh my, how the tables have turned.

Arial happily watched the new tickle fight while sitting on the couch with her glass of water. She had started to finish her last gulp of water when something rock-like and hard, smacked into her nose hole.

Ow...What was that- Oh…

Arial picked it up and chuckled to herself as she held the soggy toe in her finger and thumb. With one last bit of toeless water, Arial put the cup down, dried her wet toe on her shirt and put the big toe back onto her foot. There. Now she’s all together again.

Let me rephrase that: She’s all TOE-gether again.

[magic-number-3]

okay so i actually did watch a few episodes of 911 this week without liveblogging them but i did take notes as if i was liveblogging and then just,,, didnt lmao so in case anyone cares about my thoughts im going to share them anyway asdlfkjsdl mostly i think they’ll just be fun to look at later

2x02

CHRISTOPHER CAN BE ON SCREEN FOR 2 SECONDS AND I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Eddie Diaz is soooooo fuckin dreamy i stgggggg

“I cant order you guys to go inside that building and im not gonna judge you if you decide not to” “Hen, you got a kid, so...” “Yeah. And I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him they’d do it. No matter what.” QUEEN SHIT 😤😤😤

Marvin you on thin ice but you right; you a king

IM GOOD COACH HEART OF A CHAMPION WHY AM I CRYING

HEART OF CHAMP I AM CRYING AND THEY ALL KEEP SAYING IT BACK TO HIM IM- IM FRAGILE RN. LITERALLY WHY DID EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ARC MAKE ME SO EMO

NOT HENRIETTA. FUCK

2x03

MADDIE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU GOT THIS QUEEN

“They could really use a miracle today” “I might just have a few  of those left. I see them.” ALSKFKGKS crying why is the dialogue so good in this show???

FUCK. RUSS ITS YOUR DAY OFF

Russ gonna die im calling it. They saved the athlete and they’ll probably save the little girl?? So hes not gonna make it. At least hen is okay

“Even i couldnt save me. You dont know me, but im good.” “Oh yeah? Well maybe im better”

FUCK. I called it but it still hurts

CLOSE CALL WITH THAT ELEVATOR OMGGG

ALL OF THAT ENDING??? WE CAN BE HEROES SLAPS AND IK WE BEEN KNEW BUT ALDJFKFKSKJ everything about the end to that episode is so 👌👌👌 i wanna cry

EDDIE RUNNING TO HIS BOYYYYYYYY IM

ATHENA AND BOBBY HELL YEAHHHHH the husband is a straight g pullin thru for him like that

2x04

OMG CHRISTOPHER AND EDDIE IM 🥺🥺🥺

Also Christopher is such. Lil cutie

THEIR LITTLE FAMILY!! THE ABUELA?

“These fire guys are totally hot” LAKJDFKAL I MEAN YOURE RIGHT

AKJDKLASDJ YOU LIVE IN YOUR INVISIBLE GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND YOURE TELLING ME ABOUT WEAK EXCUSES. THAT SMUG LOOK ON EDDIES FACE IM ASLKFJSAL

Oh sheet Eddies abuela 😞

Every interaction between Eddie and Christopher got me like 🥺🥺🥺

Okay how are you not supposed to ship Buddie they’re talking about being single together and then his aunt telling buck about how ‘he’s a saint’ and all that??? THATS SUCH ROMANTIC INTEREST SHIT. WHEN DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER GUSHING TO A MAIN CHARACTER AND THAT CHARACTER ISNT THE LOVE INTEREST????

HE BROUGHT CHRISTOPHER TO WORK AWWWWW!! THEYRE GOING ON A MISSION TOGETHER

Oooh I love this song STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

“Now I feel kind of lame” “BECAUSE YOU ARE” LMAO HEN

Ooooh yeah why do you call him chim???

BOBBY AND CHRISTOPHER. CHIM AND CHRISTOPHER. THIS IS SO CUTE

AWE EDDIE AND CAP

BOY CRUSH ON EDDIE ADLSJFLDKS

Awe good for Maddie omg 🥺🥺🥺

CHIMNEY IS A MODERN MEDICAL MIRACLE???? I mean good for him bro figured lol but for it to be said out loud shittttttt

AKSFJALSDK TATIANA SHES FUCKING MARRIED YOURE KIDDING ME HOW QUICKLY DID YOU GET MARRIED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH CHIM

alkjsdskla im losing it over Tatiana

Awww now this is sad :( chim’s got noboddddddy

Sdkljfas Buck you have GOT to move out of Abby’s place dude

‘I had a life-altering trauma and her life got altered. All I got was the trauma.’ THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH CHIM

YOURE MY FRIEND SHES YOUR EX. YOU GET TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON I GET TO HOLD A GRUDGE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ALSKFDSDA

Chim 🥺 awe. “Wakes me up in the middle of the night”. Buddy :( CAPS GOT YA

CARLAAAAAAAAAA HELL YEA

“BESIDES THAT PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE” SDKAFSJA

like. Fuck Tatiana. But also good for her. And Chim gets to start to move on!! That was a really sweet scene

Aw Bobby gets Athena ^-^

This was such a good fucking episode yo. Like the way the idea of being stuck had to do with the 911s lives while also all of the calls they went one were being physically stuck and the way the proposal instigated Chim’s breakdown to allow him to finally move on…. just. Excellent television!!!!

So proud of Maddie!!!! So proud of everybody this episode :)

Buck yeah you gotta move out buddy

2x05

ASKFJHASJLAD this has gotta be fake im sdlfkjsaldk

LMAOOOO THIS BITCH she’s gonna end up actually getting hurt

OMFGGGGGGGG this bitch had it coming

DONT WE KNOW YOUUUUUUUUU THE PORCH PIRATE?? ASLDKJFALKSS

What is this girls fucking problem with Maddie lmaaooooooo fuck off

Awe this lady with the muffin or whatever is so sweet. This places Celine dion 😂😂😂 queen

Lmao wait why is she actually horrible 😂😭😭

BUCKETTE LMAOOOOO

Omg Maddie and Athena are so fun

THEYRE PROTESTING HOMOSEXUALITY??? WHAT THE FUCK

HES A FUCKING RACIST TOO???

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE SWEDISH HALF BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH HALF THAT IS SLKDFJASLK EDDIE

I love Maddie and Athena so much alsdkfj

WHATS HER FACE? EVA? STRAIGHT UP BITCH JFC

Gloria im sorry but you’re getting what you deserve.

LKAJSDALKS. “People who yell and scream and cry and expect you to do something for them” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY A 911 RESPONDER THAT IS YOUR GOT DAMN JOB???

“Do they ever think of anything but themselves and what they need?” THEY ARE USUALLY DYING GLORIA

“SNITCHES GET STITCHES” JEEZ WOMAN

I feel so bad for Hen and Karen :( Eva can fuck off dude. Can’t they get sharing rights with the dad? I mean yeah it sucks that Eva is just doing this to fuck em over but like.. the dad still deserves to get to know his son if he wants to. Though Eva would probably try to stay with him just to turn Denny against Hen and Karen… UGHHHHHH

Lil denny :( aw Hen. I love her sm

Hen what u doing girl…. Cant it make the case more difficult if you keep interacting with Eva?

I love Karen and Hen sm 🥺

WHAT YOU DOING HEN. ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HER???

YOURE FINGERPRINTS ARE ON HER NOW DUDE. GO BACK

Ugh I hate that she lived but it was the right thing to do….

“I save awful people every day its my job” Hell yeah girl

SHES GOING BACK TO JAIL HELL YEAH

Dont love cheering for her going back tho jail can be terrible…. But at least she’ll be out of Karen and hens lives. we’re not meant to think too deeply about this is.

LOVE MADDIE AND ATHENA

GLORIA IS THE FUCKING WORST

oh…. gloria… damn.

Cant you just share custody?? :( I mean it sucks but like… just talk to him.

“Yeah people can be awful… but not everyone is awful… but you’ll never know what kind of person someone is unless you give them the chance to show you” :(

WOW THE DAD IS THE FUCKING BEST?? HELL YEAH

ATHENA AND BOOBBY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

Wow the last shot of the episode thats like the long shot at the dinner table with the narration was real fucking good :( im emo.

2x06

ADSLFJLK;ALSD. BUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING EDDIE CUTE BUT SHE MEANT CHIMNEY

listen. I do know what happens between those two and I am very excited.

Oh no maddies so anxiousssss

Buck fangirling over this reporter lady im asldkjflksad

“But the way they cared for me, thats what kept me alive” :( Hen :(

Omg are Athenas kids like the same age as Bobbys :(

SOMEONE SENT THEM EDIBLES????? OMFGGGGGG

OH NO CHIM IS THE ONLY ONE THATS SOBER

THIS WOMAN HAS A HIGH HEEL STICKING OUT OF HER FACE EWWWW ITS SO GROSS

DID THESE BEAUTY QUEENS SHRINK OR ARE WE SUDDENLY GIANTS ALKDSJFLKAKL

TEEN TINY THE WAY HIS VOICE FUCKING CRACKED

SDKFJSKDA THEYRE ALL FUCKING HIGH IM

HIGH BOBBY IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY

Oh no eddies upsetttttt 😂

This is fucking HILARIOUS

Oh no bobbyyyyyyyy :((((((

Awe the news piece was so nice

CHIMNEY AND MADDIEEEEEEE

Oh shes got a fucking POPCORN MAKER IM SO JEALOUS

Wow Taylor was really going to use the footage :/

“Just get a room already” BUCK NOOOO DUDE

The way bobby always fist bumps Athenas son whenever they say hello/goodbye. So fun 🥺good content right there

DONT TELL ME THEYRE GONNA ASK HIM TO BE IN THE PIC????

OMGGGGG BOBBYYYYYYY IM CRYINGGGGGG

AWE AND THE FUCKING SONG; WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE ROOM YOU PROBABLY NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE I DO

[alolowrites]

A Beautiful Blessing

Summary: Someone leaves a mysterious box outside your apartment in the middle of the storm. Fortunately, no one gets hurt. 

Author’s Note: This is my first story for @bnhabookclub​‘s Hero Camp Bingo event happening right now! It officially runs from June 5th until August 15th and I received my very own bingo card to fill out. Fun fact, I wrote this story prior to the bingo event happening (lol), so I’m glad it worked out! 

I posted my bingo card below. Each time I submit a story for this event, I will cross off the prompt I used as well. The first prompt I crossed off was Adopt a Pet! Please enjoy!

Word Count: 1.5K

A powerful storm rages through your neighborhood.

It is the perfect excuse to stay inside and watch random Netflix movies with your favorite person by your side. You snuggle closer to Shinsou, resting your head on his shoulder; his arm comfortably holds you and acts like a weighted blanket that nearly puts you to sleep. You suppress a yawn as an impromptu lullaby emerges from the raindrops pelting against the glass window.

The movie ends, and you stretch forward, “Pick the next one.”

Shinsou reaches for the remote, moving the bowl of popcorn sitting in the middle. You snatch it before the snack falls, avoiding a great tragedy. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for last week’s popcorn mess; the couch wouldn’t stop crunching up a song that night. Shaking your head, you shove a handful of the buttery goodness into your mouth and check some text messages. Your ears perk when a distinct sound rings outside.

“Did you hear that?” You glance at the window. A ray of lightning scatters across the dark clouds, which looms above the apartment building, “It sounded like a high-pitch mewl.”

Shinsou shrugs, “Probably your thought process at work.”

You whack his stomach. He snickers and continues scrolling through the selection.

“Very funny,” you dryly remark. The wind howls as the storm picks up its strength. A bright, white sheet temporarily blinds the entire sky, followed by a ferocious thunder that shakes the apartment complex. Through your munches, you hear the high-pitch noise return. With narrowed eyes, you stand up from your couch, “I’m gonna go check it out.”

“I’ll start the movie without you if you take too long.”

“Pfft, sure.” You stride toward the door, but regret opening it when the rain rudely greets your face. Groaning, you rapidly scan around until something catches your eye. An odd, medium-sized cardboard box sits near the door, a raggedy shirt flapping on top; you become suspicious.

“Hitoshi!” His eyes immediately peel away from the TV at the sound of your worried voice. You look over your shoulders, “There’s a random box outside.”

Shinsou springs into action, “Don’t touch it and get away from the door!”

He snatches his scarf and rushes to the entrance. Just as you turn around, the same mewl cries from inside the box; it sounds like a baby animal. Your curiosity ultimately wins as you kneel to inspect the package. Shinsou screams out your name, but you ignore him like an idiot. Tossing the torn cloth aside, you gasp at the sight below—it’s a little kitten.

“Oh, you poor thing!”

The frightened animal shivers in the farthest corner from you. It helplessly cries like a broken record, and your hands reach inside to comfort the wet bundle. Shinsou arrives with his scarf ready to protect you from an attack. His defensive stance weakens when he sees a black kitten in your grasp.

You shield the animal from the rain, “Let’s get inside! Find me a towel!”

A trail of water droplets follows you to the kitchen. Shinsou hands you a towel before heading outside again to inspect the box. The kitten meows as they get dried, their head twisting nonstop and body squirming around. You couldn’t blame the innocent feline for being petrified. After a few minutes, you uncover the kitten and scratch behind their ears to calm them down; it works like a charm.

Cradling the fur baby in your arms, you search for a warm blanket and head to the couch. Shinsou finally joins you with a puzzled expression. His eyes land on the kitten comically wrapped up like a burrito. The animal sneezes and owlishly blinks at Shinsou; the hero fights back a snort.

“Was there anything else inside?”

“Nothing. Not even a single note.”

You frown, stroking the kitten’s forehead, “Who the hell left this poor baby outside in that dirty box? Especially in the middle of this horrible storm! What if we weren’t home to save them? I don’t even want to imagine how much this fur ball would have suffered.”

“I’m wondering why they chose our apartment,” Shinsou mutters, his mind trying to remember anyone who might know his address. He tries to keep his personal life under wraps, even if he works more as an underground hero. Only his closest friends know where he lives, but they never would do something like this. Shinsou didn’t find any explosives or deadly chemicals inside the box, ruling out a villain. Maybe a crazed fan? He’s had a few run-ins with them before. Your giggles interrupt his brooding thoughts.

Lilac eyes shift down and watch as the kitten chews on your finger. A small grin curves on Shinsou’s lips at the adorable sight. You loosen the blanket so the kitten can move more freely. Little paws press on your thighs as its button nose sniff your clothes.

Shinsou tilts his head, “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Good question,” you hum and inspect the kitten’s behind, “It’s a girl!”

“We need to take her to the vet tomorrow,” Shinsou’s hand immediately gets attacked by the kitten’s paws and he chuckles while playing along. The exuberant fur ball distracts him from his thoughts, nipping the hero’s fingers with their sharp teeth. It does not hurt Shinsou one bit; if anything, the bite feels more like a small prick. He then grins, “Got to get this little rascal properly checked out for any injuries and see if she’s a lost pet.”

“I doubt she’s a missing pet.” An annoyed thumb jerks behind you, “This little angel was left outside our doorstep in a wet cardboard box. If anything, I want to find the person who abandoned her like this and kick their ass.”

A meow squeaks below. You gesture at the kitten and chirp, “See? Even she agrees with the idea!”

“Let’s take this one step at a time,” Shinsou smirks before searching for the nearest veterinary office on his phone. You roll your eyes and continue to play with the energetic kitten. Shinsou does not react when you reach for his scarf to entertain your new guest. Dangling the fabric in the air, you squeak when the kitten jumps and grabs it; the scarf quickly engulfs the fur ball’s tiny frame. After a few shuffles, her head pops out, and you laugh.

“Got the address,” Shinsou takes a screenshot of one location. He glances at the kitten who endearingly tilts her head at him; he shakes his own, but a faint smile creeps on his face, “I guess we’ll create a make-shift bed for her in our room.”

“Ooooh, yes! I got some old clothes we can use.” You scoop the kitten in your hands and jump off the sofa. Heading to the bedroom, you cry out, “C’mon! She needs some rest; poor baby has been through a lot for one night.”

Shinsou doesn’t argue with you as he snatches his scarf off the couch and follows closely behind.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

“Well,” the veterinarian does a quick once-over at her patient. You wait with bated breath for the doctor’s results. Shinsou stands beside you with arms crossed, “Despite missing some vaccinations, she appears to be a healthy three-month-old kitten. I gave her a couple of shots, but she will need to come back in a few weeks for the next doses, though.”

You are relieved, “Thank you, Dr. Sasaki!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles, bopping the animal’s nose, “The kitten also has no prior owner since I did not detect a microchip. She’s all yours!”

The curious kitten almost falls off the exam table, but you grab her with lightning speed. As soon as the doctor leaves, you face Shinsou and slice the air with your hand, “We have to keep her!”

“Huh?”

“I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer. She has no home, and I don’t want her ending up in a shelter. Besides, look at her!” You raise the kitten to his eye level and pout to strengthen your case. Shinsou arches an amused eyebrow. “How can you say no to that itty-bitty face?”

On instinct, the kitten meows and instantly melts the hero’s heart. He scratches the back of his neck while saying, “Okay, fine. We’ll keep her.”

You squeal, cradling the bundle of joy closer to your chest; she purrs softly in your arms. Shinsou enjoys seeing you this happy. Unbeknownst to you, he already made his decision after yesterday’s events. You and Shinsou played with the kitten all night long, laughing as she eagerly swatted a piece of yarn dangling mid-air. Once the mini tigress tired herself out, Shinsou tucked her into her make-shift bed.

Your smile brings him back to the present, “We still need a name for our little girl.”

“How about Emi?”

“Emi…” You test out the name and your eyes sparkle, “It’s perfect!”

Shinsou wraps an arm around your waist and fondly looks at his new child while grinning, “Welcome to the family, Emi.”

She is indeed a beautiful blessing.

Which prompt will be crossed off next? Who knows, depends on what my brain comes up with lmao. 

As always, thank you for reading! 

Hero Camp Bingo Masterlist

[lady-morrigen]

When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy~! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity~! 🌼

Ooooh ok so I’ve done this before but there are more than 5 things that make people happy!

1. Seeing my favorite bands live. No matter how many times I’ve seen them, every time feels like the first. I can’t wait to do it again soon!

2. Going to the movie theater. Everything about it makes me happy. The smell of the popcorn, the adjustable seats, the giant Diet Coke, Sno Caps, and the feeling of the bass in the seat during loud scenes. It’s simply magical.

3. The way the top of my dog’s head smells at night when I cuddle her to sleep. I am so thankful that I somehow got a dog that never smells bad lol

4. The first sip of a perfect cup of coffee or tea. There’s truly nothing like it. I am addicted to the nectar of The Siren™️ and I can’t resist getting a new iced coffee every time I get into my car. The first sip it just… always divine.

5. Changing my hair. Since 2019, I’ve been my natural brown, kinda blonde, SUPER blonde, and now a vibrant red. I have an appointment next Friday and I’m either going to stick with the red or go back to brown and cut it all off. I regret that every time I do it, but since I have to wear a hard hat basically every day in the North Carolina heat… I’m thinking it’s time to give her the chop 😅

Ok I’m sorry I’m awful at answering these! 😅

[kunderdogs]

VAV / Calling Them Daddy In Front Of The Members

So I might have had a little too much fun with this...It’s long lol to all my hispanics/latinas, don’t hate me for Ayno’s...oh god I feel like i need to go to church after this one. I’m not even gonna front, this was probably the most I’ve laughed doing a reaction.

I’m not a big fan of the daddy kink. I’m more a “papi”, “sir” but I can really see the appeal in it. Lord please forgive me for I have sinned...

St. Van: 

Geumhyuk is the perfect example of daddy, idc idc idc. But you hadn’t noticed the boys in the house when you bust in the front door, wine drunk after your friends had a girls night. You had been missing your incredibly handsome boyfriend and, instead of crashing at your friends house, you called a taxi to take your drunk ass home. On the way back home, you forgot the members were over to watch that new superhero movie.

“Daddy~! Daddy, where are you~!” You called, voice loud in the hallway and almost purring. “Your baby girl is home for some good dic- JESUS FUCK!”

There were seven wide eyes staring at you. In the darkness of the living room, you noticed that the members were either huddled under blankets or on the couch, a big bowl of popcorn on the ground. Ayno smirked and smacked his leader playfully.

“Ooooh, what is this?!” He teased, before the others quickly recovered and focused on a red-faced Geumhyuk, who looked absolutely mortified.

He would be so shook that you would say that in front of the members even if you didn’t remember they were around. Is sooooo embarrassed for them having found out one of his kinks. He doesn’t blame you though, it’s not your fault you’re drunk and horny. He takes the teasing very well because as soon as the boys had their fun, he gives you a dark look and in that authrotive deep voice he knows has you weak in the knees, he says, 

“Get in the room. I’ll deal with you in a second.” DADDY MODE ACTIVATED.

Ohhhh yeah, he’s going to punish you even if he’s not mad at all. If anything, he’s a bit smug about it but will hide that well just so he can justify spanking you. Is it really a punishment if you like though...

Baron:

It slips one night at dinner when the members were talking about kinks and the nastiest shit they’ve ever done. Chunghyeop was naturally shy, the opposite of you - who had no problem talking about the details of your sex life with your girlfriends. You kept your mouth shut to save him the embarrassment though as you figured he wouldn’t want his closest friends to know what y’all did in the bedroom. During that conversation, Jacob teases you two that you seem like the most vanilla couple ever but you just roll your eyes, one foot rubbing the side of Chunghyeop’s leg under the table.

An hour later, when the rest of the boys were distracted with cleaning or playing video games in the living room, you leaned over Baron’s shoulder as he sat on the couch to whisper, “Come to bed, daddy. It’s cold without you...”

There was a choking sound near the side of you and you saw Lou pounding his chest, water cup in hand as Ziu smirked at you before looking to his older member. “You guys are into that freaky shit?”

“What freaky shit?” Jacob was immediately interested and you two didn’t get to stop Heejun from spilling what you just said. 

Soon enough, they were whooping and hollering you two like a bunch of teenagers (save for Lou who was still semi-choking off to the side).

At first, Chunghyeop is so embarrassed. He’ll bite his lip, hide his blushing face in his hands or into your body so you’d shield him from all the teasing they were throwing at him. Feeling your reassuring hands rubbing his back to comfort him would make him realize that you two were both adults and having kinks were normal and healthy.

He would glare weakly at the giggling members and say something along the lines of, “At least I’m getting some. Don’t kink shame me.”

He was too cute to be taken seriously but they wouldn’t push him too far. For the next month, he would definitely have to endure them giving him kissy faces and calling him daddy.

Ace:

When he unlocked the door to your apartment, flicking the lights on to see the romantic set up of candles and rose petals scattered along the living room floor with a single chair in the very middle, he knew he should’ve called instead of texted you. The six boys behind him piled in then stopped immediately as they noticed the atmosphere. St. Van was saying something about how they should leave just as the sharp sound of stilettos echoed when you rounded the corner. “I’ve been waiting for you, Daddy. It’s been such a long t-”

Wooyoung bit his lip, eyes narrowing on you instantly. Yep, he really should’ve called you so that you would’ve gotten the memo that he was bringing the guys over to drink in celebration for their successful tour.

You were dressed very scantily in a crimson babydoll lingerie set, a matching silk robe slipping down your shoulders. Upon noticing more than one person at the door, you screamed a very loud “WHAT THE FUCK”, quickly scrambling to cover yourself with the robe before rushing back into the bedroom as fast as you could in those damn stripper heels. With the loud slam of the door behind you, you knew the damage was already done. 

There was such a tense silence that followed that Wooyoung did not know how to break it. All of them were wide-eyed at the place you had been standing previously.

It felt like an eternity passed before someone cleared their throat and Ace heard Baron say, “So...daddy, hm?”

It took about two seconds for him to push them all out of the apartment, and lock it loud enough to cause chuckles to be heard through the door.

Taking a deep breath to collect himself, Wooyoung quickly stripped of his shoes and the hoodie he had was discarded on the back of the couch before he stalked into the room you were in. Out of all the members, Wooyoung wouldn’t care if you said it in front of them on accident. A slip of the tongue is just that. However, he is very possessive and does not like sharing, even going so far as trying to monopolize your attention when you were with the group. So this incident would test him in ways he was not ready to be tested. You were punished for “ignoring” his texts but rewarded for planning such a sweet surprise for him.

Either way, the boys couldn’t look you in the eye for weeks after that but Wooyoung was ten times more cocky whenever you were around them all. His kink was exposed to the members but hey...he was the only one you called daddy so he didn’t mind them knowing that little bit of information.

Ayno:

Just before VAV went on tour, you had mentioned to Ayno that you wanted to try the daddy kink after hearing one of your friends say it was a huge turn on. He had blushed and stuttered so hard you felt bad for bringing it up. He reassured you that he would try it out but when you saw his cherry-red face, you dropped it all together. It wouldn’t be fun if he didn’t enjoy it as well.

Weeks went by and honestly, being as busy as he was, Yoonho totally forgot about it. That was, until they were on tour and you called him while all the guys were huddled in St. Van’s and Baron’s hotel room, all hovered over the large spread of food on the floor.

Unfortunately, you had chose the worst of times to call him that little nickname.

It was a long day for you, full of bullshit at your job only to come home to a cold home. You tried to distract yourself with a movie, only to find out there was an erotic sex scene in it. It was suddenly too damn hot and you had to get some kind of relief. However, after forty minutes of working yourself, nothing was working!! You reached for your phone - usually just hearing Yoonho’s deep voice was enough to send you in a frenzy so you hoped this would be enough. If you had known he was around all the guys there was no way in hell you would’ve called.

Casual conversation was going around the circle as they discussed their upcoming concert the next night when Ayno saw your smiling face light up his lockscreen. Not thinking anything of it, he answered the call, putting it on speaker so he could hear you over the music coming from Ace’s bluetooth.

“Hey baby, I-”

A moan cut him off, completely taken him for a fucking loop. “Daddy, I need you right now. I can’t - Fuck, I wish you were here and I wish these were your fingers on me instead of my own-”

He dropped the phone in his utter panic, fumbling for the damn thing while you continued your dirty spiel, unknowing of the bug-eyed members of his group that were gawking at their blonde rapper. It was so silent on their end that they could hear everything.

“Shit, daddy, I miss you,” you whined and he finally grabbed the phone only to scream internally when he realized it was locked. “Daddy, I’m so close- ah, I’m almost there - Yoonho oh god-!”

Finally, fina-fucking-lly, he managed to unlock the phone and promptly hang up on you. There was absolutely nothing he else he could’ve done in that moment. Not with how there were six pair of eyes burning holes in his head. The phone was now in front of him on the floor, his hands tightly wound together as they pressed against his lips and your picture flashed on the screen again.

He didn’t dare fucking answer it. Nope. He swallowed the saliva in his throat and felt like the room was way too small in that moment. Had his pants shrunk? He had to leave before they said something about this.

Too late. Ace, his water bottle frozen in mid air, recovered first and gave him a sly-smile. “Does our Ayno have a daddy kink?”

Pink-faced and panic rising, Yoonho nearly threw his hands up in defense. “Wha- No, no, not me! I’m not the one, I swear! It’s her! She had - she -” 

Seeing the shit-eating grins on their faces only grow, he did the only thing he thought of at the moment. He grabbed his phone and bolted back to his room to hide out. They did not let this go, oh no. The remainder of the tour, they spent almost all their down time to tease him and reveled in how red they could make their usually confident rapper. When he got home, he was still sulky about the whole thing, even if you apologized and promised not to call him that again. Yeah the members ruined it for him. But when you called him papi one day, he realized that’s the most arousing thing you ever called him.

Jacob: 

Anyone could’ve guessed that Jacob had a slight daddy kink. It was so subtle though. You two had been good to not share too much of your sex life - it was private after all but it just slipped out one night when you were staying over the dorm. Usually you’d say without thinking and this time was no different. It was a pet name to you, even if it made his blood boil in lust. You thought his kink was kind of cute, and also you liked how his tongue rolled when he called you babygirl.

So when you stood up from the couch as he and the rest of the maknae line played FIFA with a weird intensity, your tired brain didn’t think to censor yourself when you said, “Daddy, I’m tired. I’m going to head to bed.” 

With a kiss to his temple and one last squeeze to his muscled arm, you bid the others goodnight, oblivious to the looks thrown at your back.

The door closed behind you and chaos erupted in the living room as the others had too many questions for Jacob. He sat, rubbing the back of his neck while his teeth chewed his bottom lip. He would rather them not know about his kinks, but he knew you didn’t do it on purpose. You had been hella tired all day and it was a natural thing for you to say. He wasn’t upset with you, but it did arouse him just a bit to hear you say it in front of the others like that. Either way, he wouldn't really mind/didn't honestly care since it was an accident. He would let it go this time but if it happened again, you were in for punishment - and it would not be pleasant.

Later that night, when they were done poking fun at him and he was done entertaining their shit, he would wake you up with soft kisses, the exact opposite of his bruising grip parting your thighs. “Wake up, baby girl...Daddy needs some attention. Can you be a good girl for me?”

Lou:

Hosung’s voice was your favorite thing in the world. Being honest, it was the thing that attracted you to him in the first place. The way his voice could go deeper than it was normally, and made your insides turn to molten lava, heating the blood in your body made you crazy.

He didn’t even need to touch you to get you wet and it was soooo frustrating. Especially when he figured out his voice was your one true kryptonite. He used it to every advantage he could. In public when he knew there was no way you could avoid him leaning over to whisper dirty things in your ear, when you were driving, when you were miles away from him at work and just about every time he wanted you sexually frustrated.

Fed up with being teased so mercilessly, you did some experimenting to find out some dirt on him. It took a few history searches for you to find something. One day, when the members were finishing up practice for the night, you showed up to accompany Lou home.

He smiled and went over to greet you when you tippy-toed and kissed him sweetly. He pulled back after a minute, hands on your hips and a cocky smile.

“Can’t resist me for a minute, can you?” He teased, that damn voice of his thick like honey.

“I can never resist you, daddy,” you smiled innocently, tugging on his belt loops so you could feel his front on you once again. This was your first time calling him that title and you hoped your snooping was worth it.

His reaction was instant and just what you wanted - his dark pupils blown wide, narrowing on you like you were his prey and his fingers tightened their grip on your waist, yanking you into the hard surface of his chest. You two were too wrapped up in each other that you hadn’t notice the others make their way closer when you said with confidence, “Come home with me, daddy.”

The loud gagging caught your attention and you hid your face in Lou’s chest when you realized all six of them had bare witness to your dirty talk. Hosung smoothed down your hair before shrugging away their howling and banter, “What can I say? I’m daddy material.”

“Oh god, stop talking and take your nasty asses home.”

Ziu:

When you met Heejun, nothing in your mind told you that he would be into being called daddy. It did make sense when you thought about it though. He was the maknae, although he damn sure didn’t look it, and had no position of power or dominance in the group dynamic. It’s only logical that he’d want some kind of dominate role in the bedroom and you didn’t have a problem with calling him that. Not when he would push into the wall and devour you like a starved man whenever the nickname slipped by your lips.

So, after a particularly difficult day at work and not having any kind of sexual release in two months since your schedules were so busy, you were beyond needy. Rough sex against the wall sounded heavenly right now so when you strolled into your apartment, tossing your heels and purse, you didn’t take notice of two pair of shoes that were not your boyfriend’s.

“Daddy!” You whined loudly when you didn’t see him in the living room. Removing your sheer stockings, you let your back fall on the couch before kicking them off you with a huff. “Daddy, please, come here and fuck me! I need you, today was terrible. I need your mouth on me, ugh-”

Your lips clamped shut when you lifted your head up as you heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. However, Ziu was in the back behind St. Van and Baron, who had blushes on their faces before grabbing their things and nearly tripping over themselves as they bolted out of the house.

You didn’t get to feel mortified for your words because the heated glare on your figure directed to you made your eyes turn to Heejun. His jaw was clenched just how you like it, arms crossed over his solid chest and head cocked to the side.

“You’re naughty as soon as you get in the door, huh? Get your ass on the ground, on your knees. You need to learn some manners.” He growled, fingers making quick work of his belt and jeans.

Honestly, you had no qualms about this punishment. He knew just what you needed to relieve the stress of the day but afterwards, one glance at his phone had him groaning and smashing his face in a pillow. Not after quickly typing out a text. 

Asking him what was it, he just grunted and handed you the device. The messages were of the members group chat and they were blowing it up.

Is it true Heejun? Tell me this is a lie. It will ruin the pure image I have of Y/N - Lou

I heard it with my own ears even though I wish I didn’t - Baron

HEEEEJUNNNNN-IE YOU ARE A CHILDDDD STOP BEING SO KINKY - Ayno

My man! I’ve taught you well - Jacob

YA HORNY KIDS JFC LOL - Ayno

Dear God I need to wash my ears with soap - St. Van

I can’t believe it, our precious maknae is a man now! - Ace

We should celebrate - Jacob

Wtf is wrong with you lol - Lou

This is a historic day! Heejun-ie is probably laying the wood right now - Jacob

STOP OH GOD T-T - St. Van

The imagery in my head rn...smh - Baron

STOP THINKING ABOUT ME HAVING SEX - Me

Hmmm, you responded thirty minutes late - Ace

YeeeeAAAAaaaahhhhhHHHH what were you doing HUH YOUNG MAN? - Ayno

There’s no way Ziu is ever going to forget this. Not just cause the sex was fantastic either but because the members will not stop talking about how he was now a “man”. They clowned both of you though so he didn’t feel too bad since you were in this shit show with him.

[abundantchewtoys]

Hiveswap reaction: Xefros’ ground floor

So, we're back to puzzle shit in Homestuck.

We need a guide, to open the vault, to get the food, to wake the lusus, to willingly leave the hive. :P

CUEBAT + SWEEPER > Oh, so the lower castes are deliberately kept poor. No real surprise

CUEBAT + BUTLING GUIDE > Oh, so in this time period, the teen trolls still had trials to pass before they got off planet, not just the ones in the caverns? Or, maybe these trials take the place of regular exams. Yeah.

Onwards to the downstairs floor!!!

Ooooh, nice interior. That tree is everywhere though. Heh, right, it resembles Terezi's tree, doesn't it?

TREE > Oh, so the tree came first, then the hive was built around it, for his lusus' convenience! Welp, the branches grow everywhere now, though.

CUEBAT + TREE > oh, so the bat is a little piece of home he carries with him, since it comes from this tree!

HEIRESS PAINTING / PAINTING + SPOON > Wow, the Heiress is really living in luxury. I wonder what changed, that Feferi lived in such obscurity?? Is that anything that's going to be explained in this game, I wonder.

CUEBAT + PAINTING > Of course the Heiress has Subjugglators-in-waiting working for her. It's really like she's a mini-Meenah, as in min-)(IC, in everything.

Going to the kitchen now...

Oh. So THAT's why we can't leave the hive through the back door just yet, without getting the lusus food. :P His lusus is blocking the way out, hahah. Gotta wake this sloth up for his snack.

LUSUS > OH MY GOD. We were able to NAME the lusus, hahahahahah. Awesome. And of course Zoosmell is the recommended name. We named him Slothdad, but we'll see whether choosing Zoosmell would have triggered some response? ... NOPE!!!! So, god, that's his default name.

MIC + CLOCK > "For some reason, TIME and RAPPING are inextricably linked in your head." Oh, I wonder how that could be the case. :P Dave Strider continues being pervasive, even in a different universe, in the past.

ARENA STICKBALL GUIDEBOOK + FURNACE (CRISPRANGE) > Hah, I knew it! Matchtip was mentioned before, and I figured it was the name for the #11 ball. Heheh, the ball is actually on fire. I do wonder what the more obscure powers of the Felt are translated into balls.

GRUBSLURRY AGITATOR > LOOK > Lol, wut. Is that... a mixer? Blaperile thinks it might be popcorn? I... What the shit is troll cuisine.

FRIDGE > CAKE > Oooooh, so that's left over from an early party for Dammek! He apparently becomes 7 sweeps "in a couple of wipes". Either months or weeks, that. And it seems that the Rites of Maturation come around on that day, welp. Blaperile theorizes the Heiress' Rites would mean fighting Condy. I can see that. It means that, in a way, Jane was the right age to challenge Condesce around the time she entered? Maybe that's why she had all those assassination attempts.

And hey, this means Xefros and Dammek are both younger than Joey! I guess they might both be Jude's age.

SPICE RACK + FLARP MANUAL > Now, who do we know could ever make use of using spice mix in a combat situation? :P I swear, if this offhand, hidden comment becomes relevant at a later date, that'd be cool!!

We'll leave combining the GUIDEBOOK and the SODA with further stuff in his hive until tomorrow. Seems like the SODA will be relevant at one point when Xefros needs to exert his TK powers!

[hollywoodblondeatlarge]

Catatonic

Well, surely, there are more important things to write about. OK?

I mean, we are living in the time of COVID. There’s a presidential election about to take place in my home country. There’s a US baseball world series (Go Dodgers!)… there’s civil unrest, Black Lives Matter, there’s starvation... and of course, there’s this...

Look. Let me begin by saying that Cats are not front page news. For the record, I don’t even own a cat.  But my neighbour’s cat, DAHLI seems to prefer life at the Hollywood Blonde estate (ok, cottage) -and she spends most of her time, here….vying  for my affection. She’s adorable. Nothing wrong with that.

She visits daily. For most of the day. Maybe it’s because the Hollywood Blonde at Large kitchen is always serving up mouthwatering delights and she follows the intoxicating aromas that waft through my open garden door.

Or perhaps she just hates her owners. 

OK, OK, I hate her owners. They look angry. They don’t say good morning. They play the worst music on the planet.  They make fires. They are always burning their rubbish. What IS that? And more importantly, they are constantly emptying heavy, stinky items into their ginormous wheelie bin outside …in the middle of the night. We hear pounding thuds… and we are convinced that they are heaving dead bodies into the bin - ones that they have somehow carved up during the wee hours. Passers by, mailmen, delivery guys... who knows.

We also think Dahli is on to them …and appears at our door because it smells a helluva lot better in here.

Dahli wears a red collar that reads “please don’t feed me.” 

C’mon, now, you know you can’t say that to a Jewish mother… 

“DAHLInk! Eat, Bubbalach! You’re too thin! You’re falling out of that coat!!” 

And Dahli is actually Little Shops of Horror’s Audrey reincarnated …she wants me to feed her alllllll night long.

She enters the house with that desperate, wide-eyed, ‘feed the children’ look…“PUHLEEEEEEZE, it only costs a dollar a day to save these precious little lives…!”

There are cats starving in Biafra. How can I ignore such a look?

So I feed her a lil’ gefilte fish. Then, maybe a lil’ lox, some seaweed snacks… 

I brush her so she doesn’t leave her farcarcta hair all over the place, thank you.   I make soft, squishy little places for her to nap and I pet her up the wazzoo (no, not literally…that’s just gross)

… She has a constant need for “the hand…” She will jump up just to be “under my hand” so that IT can pet her. 

The hand is separate from me. It could be mine. But it doesn’t have to be.      The hand has a purpose. It is to serve Dahli. She focuses on my hand like it has a life of its own. She follows it with her gaze. She contemplates it.  The hand is EVERYTHING. Simply put, she worships the hand.   

“I just need the hand, Gimme the hand… Under Her Hand…”

She also talks to me. We have deep conversations. Usually about what I’m cooking.  think she may speak yiddish because I don’t understand most of the words. But I know the look. And she sure knows guilt. Huh! she’s Jewish!

Dahli often lies down next to me in the studio when I’m recording animation. She must like that quiet lull of crazy children’s character voices...

Dahli also likes to meditate by the Buddha in my garden. She poses in front of him every morning in her “downward cat” position -stretching out every limb in homage while she listens to the wind chimes in the tree above -and focuses her gaze every now and then on one of a variety of birds that flock to my little garden sanctuary.  Aaaaaaah, so peaceful.

 Such a gentle creature she is. Such an affectionate little lover of people, nature and stone statues. 

Peace in the garden. Such enchanting quiet in the Shires, among the sheep, the cows, the goats, the early morning bird chorus, the church chimes, and yet- this morning, just as the sun was on the rise, ... wait for it...

I awoke to the most insane screaming I have ever heard...right outside my window. It sounded like a cat fight.. Ooooh! maybe the two weird women next door :-)   Popcorn ready!

Maybe one of them chopped up the other one’s lover!!

OK, maybe not. Perhaps it was a real cat fight since there are plenty of cats in our little Shires neighbourhood. Yet, I could see nothing when I looked out my window. So, down the stairs I go to open the front door. 

In a flash, Dahli races in with some poor forshimmelled bird hanging upside down out of her mouth. Dahli is carrying on like a happy madwoman as she parades it in front of me… the poor little bird looks like Francis Farmer after her electro shock therapy. 

This may have been the point when I passed out.

From what I understand -what happened next was Terry, my husband, went chasing Dahli around the lounge until he released the manic bird from her mouth and sent her flying outside…. Where… she crashed into the fence and landed on the ground flailing - - just in time for Dahli to capture her once again.

The next thing I remember -Dahli was standing at our sliding glass door, screaming at me - yet again -- with the helpless bird hanging out of her mouth… She was begging to be noticed and perhaps even applauded. She clawed at the window, she gave me the million dollar guilt look. “Open the damn door!”

“Hey! Hollywood Blonde!  PSSST! Over here! Look!!! Look what I’ve got!  See this farcarcta bird? I killed her for you!!!”

“No, no, no, this is just soooo wrong!” I yelled at her- (through the glass of course.)  “You killed a helpless bird, LADY! What the hell are you thinking?”

Desperate, I asked my cat-whisperer pal, Vinnie, across the pond, “what do I do now? She brought me a dead bird???!” 

He told me to preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Bata boom. 

She has been pleading to come inside all day and I’m pissed. Suddenly, she does not understand the Yiddish expressions I’m throwing out at her.

I’m more than pissed. I’m horrified. I’m nauseated. I try not to but I’m extremely judgmental of her behaviour.  My friend says  “this means she loves you!’ And… “what an honour! She is sharing with you!”

And I’m thinking, “Lady, you love me so you kill for me?”   We’ve watched those episodes on the telly ... ya know like “Snapped” and “Couples Who Kill.”  

"Kitty Assassins....”

She loves me -and so she has to kill for me.  I ponder this for a moment. 

How can I possibly apply this to my life?

Hmmm, do I  knock off Trump for the sake of mankind?  

Out of love, of course.

Don’t answer that.

If I showed up at a Biden rally with my Trump trophy hanging upside down out of my mouth, might I be fed, petted, admired?

 Don’t answer that either.

I just don’t understand how a being so beautiful, so extraordinary, mysterious, soft, cuddly and majestic can turn into a killer overnight?

Clearly I grew up in the city. I know nothing about animal behaviour.  Unless of course you ask me about my exes…  

Can we tawk?

Hollywood life had not properly prepared me for the likes of this. I had an indoor cat called “Stevens.”  I liked to say, this is my Cat, “Stevens.”

LA cool cat, ya know. She spent her days working on her tan - lazing on the carpet in the sun that streamed in through my patio doors. She ate my left over sushi and munched on seaweed. She had regular manicures and pedicures. She wore a bandana. She never went out. Hey, nobody walks in LA… She didn’t chase dogs or birds. But she liked to watch them on the telly.

Aah, those were innocent times. 

Life in the country sure is different. I’m afraid to think of what Dahli might bring me next?

Hmmm, maybe I can entice her to bring me ...“45…?” 

Remember, they have a giant wheelie bin next door… 

Hollywood Blonde at Large signing off. 

Who’s catatonic?

And thank you, Leslie, for forshimmelled...

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Time for The Witcher episode 4!!

So the last episode was Intense(TM) and also I finally realized that the show isn’t happening all at the same time but it’s following multiple timelines, which, better late than never. Now things make more sense...

Alright, bando alle ciance and let’s do this.

“Ciri! Ciri” Cirilla: yes? “Not you, I was talking to Siri. What’s the weather going to be tomorrow”

That’s such a stupid joke. Unfollow me right now, it’s okay.

Glowy Forest Intensifies... oh, there’s people now. Forest Dora Milaje aren’t happy to see her, which is understandable, I guess. But the boss arrives.

Meanwhile, except not meanwhile, a man has had a very bad day. Apparently the nickname White Wolf has stuck. Remember when we thought the MCU was going to make Bucky into a Black Panther character as the White Wolf, official media outlet even used the White Wolf as a title for Bucky, and then it ended up in nothing? Sorry for the digression but I really hoped we’d get Bucky written by Ryan Coogler and I was really disappointed when that didn’t happen but *waves around* all of that happened instead. I mean, technically it’s not too late to make it happen but Bucky is a Disney+ creature now, so, bye.

Hello Jaskier! My boy! I missed you.

Ah, the new media image campaign is working. 

“You never get involved, except you actually do, all of the time” I love this XD “I don’t do emotions or attachments” character who does emotions intensely all the time and gets attached to everyone they meet paired with “sure Jan” character who calls them out is a very good dynamic.

Ah, yes, this is perfect. I’m sorry but dark brooding protagonist and bubbly comic relief sidekick is my secret weakness.

No offense, Geralt, but those clothes did need a good washing after your latest job, so don’t make that face.

Blah blah royal affairs I should probably pay attention to.

“I am not going to protect you” [*Spongebob font* five minutes later...]

But yeah, the princess is Cirilla’s mother, I suppose, and I’m sure the marriage that produces Scream Princess is super important. She is very pretty and has lovely hair. Sometimes I wish I had long hair I could braid artistically.

The princess doesn’t want to get married to some strange dude, but the queen is A Very Strong Woman(TM) and has no time for silly things like her daughter’s feelings over the most life-changing decision in her life. She’s an interesting character for sure, and the narrative doesn’t try to frame her as either definitely good or bad, which is interesting.

Oh! Rat Boy isn’t dead! That’s great. That makes sense narratively, native forest women who suffered genocide from colonizers wouldn’t kill an elf boy who went through the same thing.

Promised husband is a shitty dude. Queen Calanthe likes Geralt, which, relatable. But she and her entourage are racist assholes, and the next scene with Cirilla and Dara tell us that their anti-elf talk isn’t just talk.

By the way, now we know for sure how much time there is between Geralt’s timeline and Cirilla’s.

The queen doesn’t like feminine dresses. Lady is trying to overcompensate a lot. But her banter with Geralt is entertaining.

The first suitor is from Nilfgaard, and in hindsight it would have been a wise choice to unify the two kingdoms... C’mon, poor guy is just awkward, he doesn’t deserve the humiliation. Or is he the guy who’ll make war later? The pilot threw too much new information at me the other day.

Yennefer is bored... and apparently 30 years has passed since the last we saw of her. (I refuse to try to understand when in relation to the other plots that puts this scene. Things will click together at some point or I’ll just accept whatever happens and nod along.) And coincidentally she is paired with a woman who laments being only considered important as a baby-producing womb. Oops. Awkward.

Not relevant to the show but my parents never get inside my room as often as while I am watching something on Netflix.

Yennefer thinks life as a court mage sucks, queen Kalis thinks life as a baby-maker sucks. They envy each other for what the other has, but they’re probably both right.

Well, boredom is no longer a problem.

Oh, poor queen, her husband paid to have her killed because she’s only given him daughters. Two episodes in a row about female heirs to kings, plus queen Calanthe being female and having a daughter who’ll have a daughter. Theeemes!

You can’t be rude to the only person who is your only hope not to die horribly, girl.

Queen Calanthe is frustrated she isn’t a man, which we could guess. She also likes the simplicity of killing, which we could also guess.

Oh! It’s almost pre-decided husband’s time to claim the girl’s hand in marriage, but New Guy appears! He’s been cursed and Mr I Don’t Pick Sides Ever No Matter What, guess what, picks a side. The audience is shocked. No one could foresee this unexpected turn of events.

Noooo the baby!!! Yennefer loses a rare chance to acquire a baby. This is sad. Damn this show doesn’t shy away from killing children, such a different feel from most stories we’re used to.

These people are weird with destiny. Calanthe says fuck destiny, Geralt says lol mood but just because you’re a queen doesn’t mean you’re above sacred rules.

OOOOH Calanthe says fuck sacred rules and it does not go well. Is this happening because she tried to mess up with the order of the world and chaos said hi? Was the princess always magical or did this happen because destiny will have its way no matter what?

Ah, her grandmother had it, she never manifested it before until now, when circumstances awoke it.

Queen Calanthe acknowledges destiny, and of course they’re all dressed in green like the mages of Feminist Hogwarts aka Chaos School. I should have paid more attention to colors but green seems to be the color of magic slash chaos slash destiny.

Then bam, red. Men. Violence.

Everyone in the forest is also dressed in green... Colors aren’t really my thing, you might have noticed that I rarely analyze colors in Supernatural and I’m not particularly into what which color means and I only notice things when they’re very obvious like the purple of transformation-slash-death, so, yeah, I am not the kind of person who notices colors until they slap me in the face. I guess this is my slap in the face by this show’s color palette XD

Also consider that I watch everything with f-lux on, so I don’t even see colors the way they actually look, I guess that’s why it’s harder for me to notice colors when everything looks orange.

Alriiiiight *disables f.lux for current app*

Oh. Oh. So this is how this show looks like.

Awkward. This is so embarrassing.

I should rewatch the whole thing with real colors now... well, another time.

Anyway, Dara has drunk antidepressant juice, but it doesn’t work on Ciri, because she is Relevant(TM) to destiny so she can’t forget her past otherwise the plot destiny can’t happen.

Sleep well baby.

Aaah husband’s curse is broken! Yay.

Geralt accidentally acquires a bond with a baby. One baby dead and Yennefer’s potential bond with her lost, one baby on her way and Geralt’s future bond with her created. So this is all about parallels based on babies and births. Cool.

In the future, destiny has arrived and indeed wrought calamity on the court and the city. Someone makes something gross with Calanthe’s dead body--a spell to learn the location of Cirilla. Trouble is coming.

Oh! It’s him, he’s not dead? And taking something from Calanthe (that will be relevant later)?

Ciri drinks stronger juice and goes to the ancestral plane, er, I mean has a vision of a Very Important Tree, sorry I had Black Panther stuck in my head from before.

Well this is very interesting and things are starting to click together and yeah it’s a weird ride but I’m enjoying it! I suppose only at the end of the season you get the full picture of why and when everything has happened so I’m just sitting here metaphorically eating popcorn waiting for things to make sense on their own rhythm. There’s a theme of motherhood and babies and it seems that Geralt’s destiny is to become a metaphorical mother for Cirilla? Or am I mixing him up with a similar kind of character with a tendency to become everyone’s mom? Anyway, I’m looking forward to see what happens.

[cherryhaunting]

🍰 - Each of the side’s favourite snacks?

ooooh okay wait I gotta think for this one (and I’m not good at that)

Patton - Those cookies with the GIANT MnMs in them. You know the ones. I was initially gonna say chocolate chip cookies, but I felt like the bright colors of the MnMs would be more appealing to pat? Also tbh I just really like MnMs akndmshsksjsk

Roman: I don’t know if these count as snacks anymore BUT a you know those apple slices that are like dipped in caramel? I feel like that’s very roman core. Actually anything that can be dipped in caramel. Ya bois got a sweet tooth. Pretzels, strawberries, anything and everything will be dipped.

Virgil: okay before anything else: I hc him as a closet weeb. he watched death note. he picked up on L’s habit of eating candies a lot. now shares Romans sweet tooth. he’s got a jar full of mnms and a separate on of skittles in his room stashed somewhere and probably has a couple lollipop wrappers shoved in his hoodie at any point in time.

Logan: (this is almost entirely projection tbh) gr a ē p. he will eat them likes there’s no tomorrow. has like a whole bowl FILLED to the brim with grapes next to him while reading something and just, ,, eats the whole thing without even noticing. what the fuck. then will get a second bowl

Remus: okay I don’t really know how to go more into detail for this other than: you know those chocolates that are made to look like rocks?

Janus: Popcorn. Specifically extra salty popcorn. On movie nights, while everyone else might be able to share a bowl Jan always has to have his own because he always makes his so damn salty what the HELL?

[abitnotgoodiebag]

Auditory Affliction

@ironstrangebingo square:  Carol Danvers

@metalandfood prompt:  from the tumblr prompt: Imagine Stephen’s phone going off a la Irene Adler style during inappropriate moments but it’s Tony’s voice that always comes out. The notification sound always changes from soft moans to a breathless, “Stephen”

AO3 link

Summary: Carol must put a stop to these inappropriate interruptions during avengers meetings.

Or

5 times Stephen’s phone goes off and one time it does not.

The first time it happens, there is silence.  Stephen pinches the bridge of his nose and pulls his phone from his robes with a put-upon sigh.

After a few taps on the screen of his hours-new personalized StarkPhone, Stephen looks up to see all of the gathered Avenger’s staring at him.

“So we’re just going to act like we didn’t hear Tony moan your name?”  Clint asks with a smirk, his tone implying something rude.

Stephen’s jaw tightens a fraction and he swallows the urge to portal him somewhere unpleasant.  He ignores the irritating archer and says, “FRIDAY, please let Tony know that I do not find his antics amusing.”

“Will do, Doc,” comes the reply in an amused tone, suggesting that boss would ignore the sentiment completely.

Apparently being crafted to adapt to the limitations of his trembling hands were not the only thing Tony had customized on the device.

The silence from the other members of the team stretches into something uncomfortable.

“What?!”  Stephen asks defensively.  “It’s not like I recorded it!”

Sam snorts “Suuuure.” under his breath.  Clint snickers in response, while Steve doesn’t seem to be sure how to react to the whole situation.

Stephen rolls his eyes so far back into his head he fears they might get stuck.  “I’ll be sure to mention how inappropriate this is next time I see Anthony.  I’m sure he’ll agree and immediately do as requested to save me further irritation, knowing how much he enjoys decorum.”  Stephen says, his sarcasm heavy.

Carol clears her voice to prevent further comments on Stephen’s unfortunate ringtone.  “If we could get back to matters at hand?”  she asks as she turns her attention back to the projection at the front of the room.

The meeting begins to drone on as it had before.

*Ooooh, Stephen!*

Stephen resists the urge to bang his head on to the table, having already been the recipient of enough stares today.  Stephen opens a small portal and throws the phone through it.

“You were saying?”  He asks with a frazzled smile pulling at his face.

---

Remembering that Tony is not only an Avenger, but also the world's foremost genius inventor is surprisingly difficult for Stephen.  As such, whenever Tony’s presence is required for presentations, conferences and the like, Stephen tends to sulk.

Tony has been gone for 2 days now and Stephen is not happy about it.  Wong has finally gotten tired of his moping around the Sanctum and has banished him until he can ‘get off his sorry ass and act like an adult, not a wounded puppy.’

Stephen finds himself wandering the halls of the compound aimlessly.  After a minute, his wandering is no longer aimless as he smells something tasty coming from the direction that he is now headed in.

Approaching the communal kitchen area, Stephen notices Carol, Rhodes, Sam, Scott, and Bruce in various stages of cooking and setting the table.

“Strange! I didn’t know you were here.” says Sam while grabbing two pitchers of what appears to be pink lemonade from the refrigerator.  “Are you staying for dinner?”

Stephen nods his assent, hoping that social interaction will cause the time until Tony’s return to go back just a bit faster.  “What can I do to help?” He asks moving further into the room.

“Everything is pretty much finished, just waiting on the pasta for another minute or so.  Make yourself comfortable.” Bruce stirs the pan of sauce that contains the source of the enticing scent.  Stephen can identify spinach and other assorted vegetables simmering in a thick red sauce.

He doesn’t realize how hungry he is, and floats an extra place setting to the table.

The food is delicious and Stephen finds himself glad that he stayed for dinner.  The wine and camaraderie is just the thing to drag Stephen from his funk.

“And then Telos said, ‘I’m not going to tell you again, man, it’s a fucking Flerken!’” Carol finishes, to the laughter of the group.  She takes a sip of wine and continues, “Goose then thought it was the perfect time to eat the box in question, surprising the hell out of Rastur.  I’ve never seen someone faint so fast.”

Stephen lets out another chuckle as he refills his glass.  He is seriously contemplating stealing another slice of pound cake when a long, loud, breathy moan emanates from his pocket.

This time Stephen does let his head hit the table.  “Fucking Tony.”

Scott can’t help but giggle.  “Yeah, that’s what it sounds like, man.”

Stephen shoots him a glare.  “Har har, Tiny Tim.”

Carol just sighs in resignation “He’ll never change it will he?”

Rhodes laughs softly, “Probably not.  Not when everyone keeps getting all stuffy bout it.  Rogers’ responses alone practically guarantee that it’s permanent.”

Carol just shakes her head in disapproval.  “It’s unprofessional.”

“It’s Tony.” Rhodey replies with a shrug.  “He does what he does when he wants to do it.”

Stephen looks up from his response to the intruding message.  “It’s one of the joys of his life to cause as much trouble as possible.”  Two more indecent cries follow.

“I-uh feel like we’re interrupting a private moment.” Sam says as he hurriedly reaches for the wine.  Bruce motions for him to pass it down when he finishes, Sam complies.

“If only.  Wong is regaling me with the tale of the newest novice to accidentally stick themselves in another dimension.”  Stephen says absentmindedly, putting the phone back in his pocket.

“Wait a minute, you’re telling me that’s not even Stark?” Scott asks bursting into giggles again.  “It does that for everybody?”

“Yup.” Stephen replies, lips popping on the P.

“Fucking Tony.” Says an amused Bruce.

“Fucking Tony.” Stephen agrees.

---

Steve Rogers and his merry band of pardoned rogues enter the common room as Stephen is meditating.

They pause momentarily, debating whether or not interrupting Stephen is the wisest course of action, but Clint rolls his eyes at his teammates and continues into the room.

“It’s my turn to pick the movie and I am not letting you dipsticks put me off again!”

Natasha rolls her eyes fondly and heads to one of the couches, curling on one side as Sam and Bucky bicker over who gets the other prime viewing spot on the couch.  “You always pick the shittest movies, Clint.  Don’t try to deny it.”

They settle in to various positions while Clint fiddles with the Blu Ray player.

The title screen for Sharknado: The Fourth Awakens appears on the television and a chorus of groans rings out, Natasha’s the loudest of the lot.

“Really, Barton?  Why do you hate us?”  Sam gripes as he decides that in order to sit through this, beer and popcorn are needed.  He gets up and heads to the kitchen to collect the snacks.

Clint replies with a smirk, “This is cinematic excellence, you heathens.”

“What exactly is a ‘sharknado’?” Bucky asks, dreading the answer.  “Tell me it isn’t exactly what it sounds like.”

“But it is exactly what it sounds like.  That’s the beauty of it!” Clint looks absolutely gleeful.

Steve and Bucky look at each other, each wondering why this even exists and why someone thinks that four of them are necessary.

As they munch on popcorn and pick apart the absurd stupidity of the film, they forget the sorcerer’s presence in the room altogether.  When they find out that April is actually alive, but mostly machine (several jokes are thrown Bucky’s way) and that she seems to be part human, part iPhone they are startled by a powerful cry of Stephen’s name drawn out in the most salacious tone yet.

Stephen is jerked from his meditating with a curse and would have fallen to the ground if not for the Cloak of Levitation keeping him off the floor.

He opens his eyes to the blush of Steve Rogers and smirks and leers from the rest of the ex-rogues.

“May I help you?”  Stephens asks, one eyebrow raised.

“Sounds like you get enough ‘help’ as is!” crows Bucky trying unsuccessfully to hold back laughter.

Various sounds of amused agreement from Sam, Clint and Scott follow the statement.  The phone moans again, omitting Stephen’s name this time.  Steve’s face is almost completely red when he manages to tear his gaze away from Stephen’s amused one.

“Why?  Why would Tony do that?  That is not for everyone to hear!” Rogers looks ready to combust from embarrassment.

Flying sharks dance across the screen in the background completely forgotten as Stephen tries not to crack a smile at Steve’s obvious discomfort.

“I think he was trying to embarrass me.  He wasn’t aware that it was an exercise in futility, but your reactions do give him some small measure of satisfaction.”  Stephen gets to his feet carefully and stretches.

Steve is still blushing and Clint is throwing popcorn at him chuckling.

“In any case, Everything I’ve tried to change or silence it has ended in failure, so I have to hope that he’ll get tired of everyone’s reactions and give it a rest.  Eventually.”  With that, Stephen opens a portal and steps through to the Sanctum.

“I just don’t understand it.”  Steve groans as he closes his eyes and thumps back against the couch, hitting Bucky’s leg.

“Well Stevie, when a boy and a boy love each other very much-” Bucky begins.

“And one of them is a shameless slut!” Clint interrupts, tossing more popcorn, this time into his own mouth.  Bucky collapses into laughter unable to finish his lesson on the bees and the bees.

Steve drops his face into his hands and wishes the floor would swallow him whole.  “I hate you guys.”

---

Stephen is still unsure how exactly they’ve ended up at this point.

Somehow during a routine training exercise (in which Clint is not a part of, yet is there for), Steve Rogers acquires two serrated arrows.  Said arrows are sticking out of the affectionately dubbed ‘America’s Ass.’  At Stephen’s gesture, the Cloak of Levitation lifts him with as little movement as possible and floats him quickly to the medbay.

Stephen opens a portal to Metro General in search of Christine.  After he locates her, they step through to the medbay and she appears to be just as baffled as he is.

“Why do you people even have an archer?  What is the actual point?”  She mutters to herself as she slides her hands into a pair of latex gloves.  

Stephen finds it difficult to find a positive answer to her question.  He floats several instruments and supplies over to the cart next to the bare-bottomed, Captain America.  Steve’s teeth are gritted and his fists clenched in discomfort.

Bucky is standing at the head of the gurney trying pathetically to rein in the snickers at the sight Steve makes.

“As you can see, the arrowheads are serrated, so yanking them out would not be ideal.  I came straight to get you, so I haven’t determined whether or not they’ve lodged into any bone matter.”  Strange offers his observations as the cloak floats back to settle on his shoulders.

Christine approaches the gurney containing the super soldier.  “Captain?  I’m going to have to get a quick X-Ray to make sure the tip isn’t lodged in your ilium or sacrum, can you hold tight for me while I check?”  Stephen is already pushing the XRay machine over to her.  She aims the beam and takes 2 images.  Seconds later, the images are displayed as a hologram above the XRay machine.

“Good news, Captain, No tips lodged anywhere.  That will make extraction much simpler.”  Christine smiles at him.

The doors open and Carol steps into the medbay with a stern look on her face.  She catches the gaze of both Stephen and Bucky and quirks an eyebrow.  “I am not happy to reset the critical incident counter in the training area again, gentleman.  Why exactly am I unhappy this time?”

Bucky ducks his head and swallows his laughter while Stephen just shrugs and replies, “Barton felt left out, I guess.”

Christine is dabbing the punctured area of Rogers’ backside with betadine, concentrating on the task at hand.  She picks up the forceps and places a hand on Steve’s lower back.  “This may pinch a bit, Captain.”  Steve lets out a breath.  “I’m going to remove the tips now.”

Steve grunts in response and a fist shoots out to grab Bucky’s forearm.  Bucky looks down at Steve and his gaze softens a bit at the discomfort on his face.  “Just a tick, Punk, the Doc will have you good as new.”

Christine maneuvers the forceps into position and is able to get the first arrow out with little more than a grimace from Steve.  She places the arrow on the cart and turns to the second arrow, inserting the forceps into the puncture gently.

*Oh Yesssss Stephen!*

Christine jerks at the sound, causing the arrow to tear into Steve’ glutes.  Steve’s grip on Bucky’s arm veers into painful territory.  Barnes and Rogers both cry out simultaneously.

“GODDAMMIT, TONY!”  Steve shouts, face colouring in pain and mortification.

Stephen fights with every molecule in his body, but is unable to stop the “Language!” admonishment from leaving his lips.

Every single person in the medbay levels a glare at the sorcerer who raises his hands in a gesture of contrition.  He is only moderately certain that his smirk is no longer on his face.

---

Stephen is hard-pressed to admit it, but he absolutely loves spending time with Peter.  He knows that he still isn’t quite as close to him as Tony is, but Stephen has grown fond of the Spiderling.

They are in Tony’s lab, Peter doing his homework and Stephen analysing the molecular structure of a relic discovered by the master of the newly rebuilt London sanctum.  Once stephen is assured that it is in fact magical and not some alien detritus, he joins Peter at the workbench.

They quickly fall into a discussion on microbiology  when a filthy moan stretches out for much longer than necessary.

Stephen whips his head to his pocket before hearing the sound of a pen hitting the metal worktop.  Strange turns back toward Peter, scandalized.  Peter’s face turns bright red and he looks as if he has no idea how to respond to the noise that just came from Stephen’s direction.

“Uh, Mr. Doctor?  Is everything alright?”

Stephen exhales slowly, counting to ten before retrieving his phone and glaring at it.   No matter how hard Stephen has tried, there is no changing or silencing the embarrassing notifications.  Tony refuses to do it himself and while Stephen initially found it irritating at worst and amusing at best, Peter is now being subjected to Tony’s ridiculousness.  

“How upset would you be if I murdered Tony?  Scale of Lang to Banner.”  Stephen asks mildly, rubbing at his temples.

Peter doesn’t seem to have heard the question.  His gaze is set resolutely forward, avoiding Stephen’s eyes.  After hearing his pseudo father like that…well, Peter needs brain bleach. “Erg…I just. Can’t.”

Unfortunately, Carol chooses this moment to enter the lab.  She frowns at the look on Peter’s face and opens her mouth, no doubt to ask him the matter.

Stephen’s phone picks that same moment to literally scream his name.  Everyone in the room is struck by a powerful urge to be somewhere else.

“Strange!  This has to stop immediately!” Carol barks as she throws her hands in the air.

Peter hurriedly throws his work in his backpack and flees the lab muttering under his breath about therapy and neuralizers.  Stephen experiences a wave of disappointment at his time with his Spider child being cut short.  Stephen feels the first twitch of serious ire at Tony’s foolishness.  “Major Danvers, I assure you I will speak with Tony about this idiotic phone.”

“See that you do, Strange.  Peter is going to be confounded for days.”  Try as she might, Carol can’t help but feel the tiniest bit amused at the expression on his face as the boy bolted.  She turns on her heel and exits as Stephen opens a portal to the penthouse.

---

Carol steels her resolve as she heads down the hallway towards Tony’s office.  These interruptions and interjections cannot be allowed to continue.  Amongst the Avengers it’s an annoyance, but now Peter is being harrassed  and Carol must take action.  She knows that Dr. Strange has nothing to do with it, that Tony is the one behind the many disruptions, so Tony is who she’s going to dress down.  She reaches his office door and turns the knob.

“Tony, we need to-”

Carol freezes.

Tony is spread over his desk on his back with his shirt ripped open, head hanging down so she can see the blush on his cheeks.  His eyes are screwed shut and he is huffing out little breaths.  He’s covered in a light sheen of sweat and he looks utterly wrecked.  Strange jerks from the other side of the desk, his hands gripping Tony’s hips tightly, eyes closed in concentration or ecstacy, Carol can’t quite tell nor does she want to.

Carol has never appreciated the necessity of knocking as much as she does in this moment.

A loud cry interrupts her mortification and she turns and flees, not remembering whether or not she closed the door behind her.

She nearly collides with Rhodey a few meters down the hall, still bright red.

“Mmm, Stephen!”

Rhodey frowns.  “Tony still won’t change Strange’s ringtone?”

Carol manages to flush even deeper and squeaks “S-Something like that!”  She speeds down the hall away from Rhodey, who shakes his head in exasperation and continues in the opposite direction.

He reaches the cracked door of Tony’s office and pushes the door open, about to scold Tony Stank for embarrassing Stephen and ignoring Carol.  The door is abruptly jerked closed and Rhodey quickly heads in the direction Carol went muttering curses at Tony Stank.

Back in his office, Tony and Stephen have not slowed down in the slightest.  Tony is gripping the edge of desk for dear life while Stephen rails into him.  Tony is past the point of caring about keeping quiet and lets out a low stream of curses scattered with the sorcerer’s name.

Stephen groans and shifts his hips slightly finding Tony’s hot spot.  Tony throws his head back hard enough to hit the desk.  Stephen moves a hand from Tony’s hip to grasp his erection, rubbing his thumb along the slit.  Three twisting strokes later, Tony is undone.  His legs tighten around Stephen’s waist and he comes with a loud cry covering his stomach and chest with his seed.  Stephen is not far behind him, coming with a strangled cry, eyes popping open to look at Tony.

Stephen drops forward onto Tony’s chest, huffing at the feel of Tony’s spend on his exposed skin.  Tony brings his head up and tangles his fingers in Stephen’s hair.

Stephen pulls Tony off the desk and falls backwards into Tony’s chair, ending up with a lapful of sated mechanic.

“They still giving you shit about your phone?”  Tony asks with a sly grin.

Stephen rolls his eyes and kisses Tony to shut him up.  The genius knows perfectly well how the Avengers feel as Tony gleefully has FRIDAY send him the more amusing reactions.

“At least they’ll just think it’s your phone when we sneak off in here.” Tony quips.

“I hate to disappoint you babe, but both Carol and James barged in here not 10 minutes ago.  I think we’ve scarred them.” Stephen nuzzles into Tony’s neck breathing in his scent.

Tony shrugs, “Well, that’s one way to guarantee knocking in the future.”

Soon after there are no more lascivious interruptions from Stephen’s phone.  Tony’s office door also now sports an unnecessarily large  ‘Knock, please!’ sign in hot-rod red.  It doesn’t seem to be necessary as no one approaches that hallway anymore unless it is absolutely vital.

[losingmymindtonight]

Ooooh - you ask me for fluff??? Have you considered TONY AND PETER WATCHING MERLIN??????? All the way from the adorkable beginning to the angsty angsty end??? Bcs I'm betting Tony would have some jokes about Merlin keeping his secret about as well as Peter does. 😂😂

I was born to write this

Today is Merlin’s 10 year anniversary! I miss my dumb boys…

Merlin spoilers ahead!

Also this… might not make any sense at all if you haven’t watched Merlin? I couldn’t really help it.

“What’re we watching, again?”

Peter plopped down beside Tony and tucked himself into the man’s side, a maneuver perfected through countless days of practice. “It’s an old BBC show called Merlin.”

“And why are we watching it?”

“Because MJ told me that if I didn’t, she’d spoil the ending.” Peter blinked up at him innocently. Tony sort of hated that it wasn’t an act. The kid really was that pure. “And because you said we could binge watch whatever I wanted.”

He had said that, to be fair.

It was Peter’s spring break, and May was out of town. At May’s request, he’d happily volunteered to have the kid over for the week. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Peter to be alone for that long, exactly…

Okay, actually, yeah. Neither he nor May trusted the kid to be alone for that long.

Could anyone blame them? He was a magnet for trouble. Tony was surprised Peter could walk five steps on the street without someone trying to detach his head from his body.

And so, in the name of what May called his “co-parental service hours,” Tony’s weekend would be spent watching a cancelled BBC show and living off of microwave popcorn and delivered pizzas.

He guessed that there were definitely worse things to be doing.

“So,” Peter maneuvered through the Netflix interface like it was a second skin. He tried not to be jealous, “give me a rundown. On what kind of journey are we about to embark?”

“It’s a show about Merlin-”

“Holy shit, I would’ve never guessed…”

“Hey!” Peter laughed, hovering the mouse over the first episode. “It’s like a ‘what if?’ story. What if Merlin and Arthur were the same age, and Merlin was Arthur’s servant instead of this wise old wizard? It’s supposed to be really good.”

I can’t wait. “Alright, kid. Let’s have at it.”

Peter hit play and tossed the remote onto the coffee table, leaning his head against the top of Tony’s chest as the first scene faded into view.

“No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will, in time, father the legend. His name: Merlin.” 

And, damn it, Tony could already feel himself drawing the parallels between the gangly kid on the screen and the gangly kid curled up next to him. 

Peter had no idea, did he? He couldn’t see the path that Tony saw winding further every day.

He had no idea that he was going to change the world.

He watched the Evil King character execute some random sorcerer with a weird taste in his mouth.

It felt too real, too present. Too close to what Tony imaged Ross would do to Peter if he ever got his hands on him…

He shook the thoughts away. No. This was supposed to be fun. They were binge watching a lighthearted show over the kid’s spring break. The occasion did not lend itself to thoughts like that.

He decided that he liked Gaius from the old physician’s very first scene. He voiced that thought to Peter, quietly, during a lull in the dialogue.

“Why?”

Tony shrugged. “He’s gonna suffer.”

Peter dropped his head back, craning his neck painfully, to stare up at his mentor with wide eyes. “He is?”

He chuckled, letting the sound release some of the tension from Peter’s gaze. “Of course he is. His job is to keep the reckless kid alive. It’s not easy, let me tell you.”

Peter hit Tony with a pillow, and the episode rolled on.

“Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?”

A flare of protectiveness for his Peter-stand in flared in Tony’s chest. 

He shifted Peter a little closer, as if protecting his kid would protect the one on the screen as well. 

He decided all at once that he didn’t like Arthur. He didn’t like him even a little bit.

“He’s an asshole.”

Peter seemed unperturbed. He played with the cuff of Tony’s shirt lazily, eyes tracking the scene. “People can change, Mister Stark. You did, didn’t you?” The kid smiled his special, unburdened smile. “Give him a chance.”

It occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, he hated Arthur because the prince reminded him of an outdated version of himself.

Young, brazen, self-centered, cruel. Blind to the ways his actions could hurt and maim and kill. Following doggedly in the over-sized footsteps his father left. Driven by false arrogance, one-size-fits-all ideals, and overwhelming bitterness on his tongue.

He sighed. “Sure, kid. I’ll give Prince Asshole a chance.”

As it turned out, his forced sympathy for Arthur his deadbeat dad was a lot harder to hold onto than he thought it might be.

This Merlin character really knew how to look like a kicked puppy.

“I’m not a monster, am I?”

“Don’t ever think that.”

Tony tightened his grip around Peter’s back at the same moment the teenager shifted to cling tighter.

He wanted to tell the kid that Gaius was right, and that Prince Asshole was wrong. He wanted to tell him that Merlin wasn’t a monster. That nobody could help who they were, and that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

He wanted to tell Peter that he wasn’t a monster, a freak, a mistake. He wanted to make sure he knew that Tony would tear down anyone who said otherwise.

Instead, he just smoothed a hand through Peter’s bangs and hoped he could feel it through the solidity of their half-embrace.

“If you can’t tell me, no one can.”

The first season fell away along with the daylight.

He watched Merlin, who he had to repetitively remind himself was not Peter, stumble through a million different mistakes. He watched him drink some poison (stupid), harbor some fugitive child right under the Evil King’s nose (stupid), and offer up his life in exchange for Prince Asshole’s (stupidstupidstupid).

It felt like every turn the character took made him want to smash his head into the nearest wall. Repetitively.

(On the other hand, Prince Asshole was slowly, and painfully, growing on him. Not that he was ready to admit that to Peter, of course.)

The final episode of the season faded into credits, and Tony wordlessly flicked off the TV.

“Hey.” The kid’s protest might have held more weight if his eyes weren’t closed and the words weren’t soft with sleepiness. “One more.”

Tony made sure to keep his voice low and soothing, carding his fingers through the kid’s mess of curls. “You won’t even concentrate on it.”

“Will too.”

“Oh?” He turned the screen back on, slyly lowering the volume and hitting play on the next episode. “Okay then, buddy. Whatever you say.”

Peter’s breaths had evened out before the opening sequence could finish.

That night, Tony decided that sleeping on the couch was way underrated.

There wasn’t even a question of what they’d be doing the next morning. He sent Peter wordlessly to shower, ordered a couple of pizzas, and hit play the moment that the kid was re-situated on the couch, wet curls soaking into the front of his t-shirt.

At some point in the middle of the season, during an episode about a witchfinder, he let out an involuntary groan.

It was almost like this kid didn’t want to keep his magic a secret. At the very least, it seemed like he jumped at nearly every opportunity to reveal himself.

Peter flickered his eyes away from the screen and gave Tony a questioning look. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Merlin’s about as good at keeping his secret as you are at keeping yours.”

“That’s not true!” Peter’s glare just made him look younger. Tony nearly laughed at the way his face scrunched up. “Barely anybody knows I’m Spider-Man!”

“I figured it out, kid.”

“You’re you-”

“Ned.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was-”

“MJ.”

“She’s terrifyingly observant-”

“May.”

“She walked in on me!”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Tony ruffled his hair playfully. “Why don’t you just shout it from the rooftops, huh? Might be a little more efficient, that way.”

Peter blinked, then huffed, physically turning away from Tony and fixing his eyes back on the screen. It was a clear dismissal, despite the fact that didn’t move away from the warmth of his mentor’s side.

The second season’s finale went to credits, and Peter stalled Tony’s hand before he could switch off the TV.

“C’mon, Mister Stark! We could totally watch the next season! It’ll only take, like, a few more hours.”

“Your idea of ‘a few more hours’ is actually about 8 hours, kiddo.”

“And?”

“You need sleep.”

“We’ve stayed up later in the lab.”

“On accident.”

“So?”

He tried his best to mimic May’s I am an adult and you will listen to me voice. “No, Peter.”

He kid blinked up at him imploringly. “Please.”

(The third season was good.)

They watched the two part series finale on Tuesday morning. 

And, frankly, Tony wasn’t sure what he’d expected. But it sure as hell wasn’t… that.

“Just, just, just… just hold me. Please.”

Peter curled himself around Tony with a little whine. He rubbed the kid’s back comfortingly, gaze still transfixed on the screen. “No. He’s not supposed to die, Mister Stark. He’s supposed to live. He’s-He’s the Once and Future King. What about Albion? What about Merlin?”

He wondered if he could sue the BBC for making his kid cry.

“There’s something I want to say…”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.”

“No. Merlin. Everything you’ve done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build…”

“You’d have done it without me.”

“Maybe. I want to say… something I’ve never said to you before. Thank you.”

He watched the character die with a weird feeling in his chest.

He’d never been one for sentiment in general, and certainly not for fictional characters. But… something about Merlin and Arthur had made him think of Peter and himself.

Peter’s voice was small. “Merlin would’ve trade places with him.”

Tony’s answer came so quickly that it surprised him. “Arthur would never want him to.”

You ever try trading places with me, kid, and I’ll kill you my damn self.

“But what’s the point?” There were undercurrents to Peter’s tone that told Tony they weren’t just talking about the show anymore. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one drawing parallels. “If I were Merlin, I’d rather die than live without Arthur.”

He tried not to hear the implicit I’d rather die than live without you in the kid’s words.

“Someone always dies first, kiddo. That’s just life.”

Peter buried his face into Tony’s shirt, sniffling a little. “Yeah, well, I don’t like it.”

He set a gentle hand on the back of his head, shielding him from the screen, the daylight, the world.

“I don’t like this ending, either.”

Tony took a deep breath, focusing on the way his ribs pressed into Peter’s at the apex. “If it makes you feel any better, kiddo, neither do I.”

He’d pondered his death a lot. Once, he’d thought towards it with a perverted sense of lust. 

But Pepper, Rhodey, Peter had changed that. Now, he just felt a peaceful acceptance. He wouldn’t go rushing to his grave but, when the time came, he couldn’t see himself reeling against it, either.

But for the first time, he thought about Peter.

If everything went the way it naturally should, he would die long before the kid.

He’d get to die, and Peter would have to keep living.

His parents’ deaths still left a hollow ache in his chest. He missed his mother with every single breath.

Is that what he’d be doing to Peter, when he died? Leaving him damaged irreparably? Dooming him to a life of sewing up his tattered grief?

He swallowed, hard, and shook his head.

Peter would be okay, because he’d prepare Peter. He’d give him everything he needed to do more than just survive once he and May were both gone.

He was going to make sure Peter thrived.

And he’d do everything he could not to leave the kid like Arthur left Merlin, or like his mother left him. Not violently, not suddenly, not in the heart of some blood-stained tragedy.

He’d linger, if he could. He’d grow old (something he used to shudder at the thought of). He’d give the kid’s kids too much sugar and poke him with his cane and complain about the technology Peter would incorporate into his newest invention to shroud the pride.

As he watched the final credits role over the dark screen, Tony Stark decided that he hated tragedies.

He also decided that he wouldn’t let his own life become one.

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Lessons in the Art of Flirting - Caitlin Snow x Fem!Meta!Reader

Request: Fem!Reader ask Ralph Dibny, how to flirt with women because reader has a massive crush on Caitlin. (Reader don’t know how flirt) But Caitlin gets jealous and thinks Reader likes Ralph. But asking Ralph for help was a bad idea, reader thought because the technique didn’t work on Caitlin..But reader takes a chance to ask Caitlin out on a date while on a mission with Barry and Cisco?

A/n: Reader is telekinetic and this was a fun request although I’ve not written much with Ralph in so it might be a bit occ - priority was Caitlin, an adorable person I really wanna hug

“Hey Ralph.” You mumbled as you walked into the Cortex, causing Ralph to jump as you interrupted his Netflix watching.

“Ohh, I was watching that!” Ralph whined causing you to frown as you looked over what he was watching. Riverdale?

“Sorry but, I need to ask you something...” You mumbled again, shuffling from foot to foot in nervousness.

“Okay, what’s up with you, you’re acting like a cat knows there’s a dog nearby.” Ralph questioned causing you to sigh.

“You know how to flirt right?” You questioned causing Ralph to raise an eyebrow.

“Well of course, especially with this body, I look like a Hemsworth.” Ralph bragged causing you to roll your eyes.

“I...need you to teach me how to flirt...” You replied, getting frustrated.

“Ooooh, wait, but who has taken little Y/n’s eye I wonder.” Ralph replied, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. Your cheeks flushed red as you began to stutter.

“Caitlin.” You finally admitted causing Ralph to give you a look in surprise.

“Honestly didn’t know she was your type but your red tomato face says otherwise.” Ralph teased causing you to glare.

“Just tell me how to flirt please.” You snapped causing Ralph to sigh.

“Well pick-up lines are a cliche so we could make her jealous.” Ralph replied causing you to frown.

“I don’t know how to flirt in general how am I supposed to make her jealous?” You grumbled before Ralph put his hand on your shoulder causing you to look at him.

“I’ll flirt with you, you flirt back or just try not to be so awkward about it and we’ll see how Caitlin reacts, ‘kay?” Ralph replied causing you to sigh, your hand going to pinch your nose.

“I don’t know how Caitlin will react though, what if she doesn’t even like me? She’ll just end up shipping us and you’re really not my type.” You replied, pushing Ralph’s hand off your shoulder.

“Yeah, your type is attractive, smart and cold. Wait, how do you think KF will react?” Ralph questioned causing you to pause.

“As long as I don’t kiss Killer Frost and get turned into an ice statue I think I’ll be fine. Now...are we going to make my crush jealous or what?” You enquired causing Ralph to grin.

“They’re coming...pretend you’re watching Riverdale with me.” Ralph whispered, his ears moving causing you to grumble as you grabbed a chair and Ralph’s popcorn before spitting it out.

“Ew, (insert disliked popcorn flavour).” You grumbled before watching whatever episode of Riverdale Ralph was watching before.

“Hey guys, whatcha doing?” Barry questioned as he, Iris, Caitlin and Cisco all walked in causing you to tense as Ralph glanced between you and Caitlin.

“Watching Riverdale with this one.” Ralph replied gesturing to you who shrugged.

“I don’t know what’s going on and this popcorn is gross.” You replied, flicking some at the side of Ralph’s face.

You avoided looking at Caitlin out of fear and nervousness as you got your phone out and began to look through Instagram as a distraction.

“Wanna go to Jitters?” Ralph questioned, noticing how awkward you looked before you nodded and practically ran out of the Cortex with Ralph behind you.

“Huh...never seen Y/n that nervous before.” Cisco stated as Barry, Iris and Joe went to investigate a new meta-human.

“Isn’t it obvious? She likes Ralph.” Caitlin replied, obviously jealous to Cisco’s shock.

“You like Y/n?” Cisco exclaimed rather loudly as he asked Caitlin causing her to sigh.

“Obviously its not returned but I like her a lot... I don’t think I’ve felt like this since Ronnie...” Caitlin replied...

///Meanwhile///

“I don’t think it worked. Caitlin didn’t look phased at all.” You whined as you sipped your hot beverage. Ralph rolled his eyes at your statement as he stirred his coffee.

“If you really think that then why don’t you just straight-up ask her out on a date? If she says yes, then yay but if she says no then you get an answer and you can stop pining for her.” Ralph stated causing you to sigh.

“Okay... and we are being summoned back.” You replied before getting up from your chair, downing your hot beverage in one gulp and a cough as you burned your tongue.

///Location Change: STAR Labs///

“We’re here.” You announced before glancing over the screens.

“Found the meta I see.” Ralph stated.

“Yeah, Cisco is gonna breech us there then Caitlin Y/n and I are going to go get them.” Barry replied causing you to nod as you went to change into your suit. You were telekinetic with the ability to move things with your mind. Telepathy could have been more useful but you weren’t going to go to Cecile for help with that, a bit awkward and intrusive.

You were silent as Ralph gave you an encouraging nod before you jumped through the breech with Caitlin next to you, Barry speeding off to take on the meta-human.

“Hey, Caitlin could I ask you something?” You questioned as you began to telekinetically toss items at the meta to trip them up or knock them down as Caitlin observed, ready to turn into Killer Frost at any point.

“Kind of a bad time don’t you think?” Caitlin replied causing you to growl under your breath.

“I like you and I was wondering if you’d go on a date with me if those feelings are reciprocated.” You exclaimed as Barry sped over with the meta handcuffed.

“Got ‘em...I’ll see you two back at the labs.” Barry replied as Caitlin turned to look at you in shock.

“I thought you liked Ralph.” She stated causing you to face palm.

“No, heck no, I just asked him how to flirt since I don’t know how and I have a massive crush on you.” You rambled causing Caitlin to smile as she walked closer to you, kissing your blushing cheek.

“How about dinner tomorrow darling?” Caitlin replied causing you to nod with an adorable grin as Caitlin held her hand out for you to take as you began to walk back to S.T.A.R. Labs.

Ralph would be celebrating for sure.