#or a song or a horse or a fish.

[bugmistake]

god i am so so so tired. i am so tired i'm so exhausted i wish i was the MOON!!!

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[asoiafreadthru]

A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

They dined on trout fresh from the river, and Sansa drank more wine than she had ever drunk before.

“My father only lets us have one cup, and only at feasts,” she confessed to her prince.

“My betrothed can drink as much as she wants,” Joffrey said, refilling her cup.

They went more slowly after they had eaten.

Joffrey sang for her as they rode, his voice high and sweet and pure.

Sansa was a little dizzy from the wine.

[blissfali]

i definitely missed out on a lot of shows as a kid.. .didnt watch atla until last year Cause i saw Aang and i was like NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kid me was so picky. i only watched spongebob, ppg, spongebob and like gravity falls as a wee child. back then tho GF was on thin ice but it managed to save itself in tiny me’s mind cause i would pretend dipper and mabel were me and my brother (cause i am also a twin and i thought it was. cool. if they werent twins i wouldve dipped out of that show so hard thank god i didnt). didnt watch danny phantom i thought it was shit. didnt watch ben 10... fairly odd parents was my favorite show and tbh i dunno how

[thisismyanimus]

it seemed that searching three words allows you to find all posts containing those three words

with two words, it seemed that both words have to be in tags, or else it doesn't work. maybe unless the post is popular

but what if i write a really long tag? the maximum limit is 139 characters per tag

i did this experiment in this post

i concluded that if your search contains common words, for example "what write really", it only retrieves certain posts where those words are in the text

for uncommon/nonexisting words in the text of your post such as "brasput yabet mituarb", you can find your post by searching just 1 word

for two words in any of the tags, it retrieves the post, even if the words are common. for example "eat above"

[dycefic]

The Hearthstone God

[The sequel to the God of Prophecy, and the Serpent God of Protection]

---

Fire is out of fashion, in this new age.

Some of my kind have found new homes, new names, in factories or forges, in the hearts of wildfires or crystals or volcanoes.

Most of us are simply forgotten.

I was a fire god, once. A god of gathering, a god of communion, a god of song and story. But there are no hearthstones now. No fires around which families gather to eat and talk and tell stories.

I am lucky. I am tied to a great flat stone near a lake. A lake that has survived all the wild exuberance of men, when they learned to change the world around them. Once, this was a place where travellers stopped to rest. At first they travelled on their feet, or on half-wild horses. Then there were carts, and a road. Much later, cars drove down the road. The road was paved.

But some things do not change. People need clean water to drink, and the spring here is good. They need to rest, when they are weary. And even now, when they come to camp in nylon tents, to fish in the lake, or to hunt the ducks, or drive camper-vans to the flat place, their ancient instincts wake, and they turn to fire once more. They light new fires atop my stone, so flat and safe, from which no log will roll to set the woods afire.

Not so many come now. Camping is less popular these days. But some still come. Some still light their fires, and settle around my stone, and talk, or listen to music, or tell stories. So I survive, just barely, on the edges of belief.

I feel it, when things begin to change. Something is happening. Something is drawing old gods back. Not the great ones, risen beyond mortal understanding, but the oldest gods, the small gods, those who rose when humankind were still learning what they were.

Far to the west of me, a god even more ancient than I wakes, and begins to hunt again. I remember the stories that were once told of that old serpent, and tell them over to myself in the long fireless nights.

A god of prophecy, not of this land, settles south and west, and I remember tales of ancient ravens, their wisdom and their guile and their sharp, sharp eyes. There was a raven clan once, who passed this way in the days of skin garments and stone tools, but I have forgotten their name. I only remember the symbol they wore, the black bird with its spread wings, marked in charcoal or charring on wooden talismans or leather garments.

I wait, to see who will awaken next.

To my great surprise, it is me.

The people who come this time aren’t like the campers. They come at night, a ragged family group with few blood ties between them, with a single tent and few possessions carried on devices I haven’t seen before. Bicycles, they’re called, slung over with bags the way ponies used to be. They come at night, and hide when cars pass on the road.

They light a fire on my stone, with wood scavenged from the forest, and huddle around its warmth. They don’t speak much, not at first, but they say enough. They have no home, I learn. They are travellers of a kind I have not known before, who are allowed to stop nowhere, but have no goal but a place to rest. They are thin, and worn, and so tired. So very tired.

They need a hearth.

I am only a weak shadow of a god, now, who once recorded the songs and stories of a thousand generations in my ancient stone, but I am still a god of fire. Their fire burns slow, their little fuel lasting well. The food they heat over it sustains them better. The water of that spring, my spring, puts a little life back in them. This stone has lain in this place since great monsters walked this world, since before humans spoke words to one another, and I came into being with the first fire that burned on it. I am old, old, and though weak, I am not powerless.

They stay.

I cannot speak to them. I am old, and weak, and they do not believe. But slowly, with the power of the fires they build every night, with the tiny offerings of scraps of food spilled into the flames, with their growing confidence in the safety of this place, I am able to do more. I give them dreams and they find the cave not far away, where they can hide. They dream of fish, and begin to try to catch some. A woman remembers that some of the local plants are safe to eat, when I slowly wake a long-forgotten memory of a camping trip from her childhood.

And then a child, a strange, quiet child who rarely speaks, a child without mother or father, in the care of an older brother who is exhausted to the very edge of death but cannot give up while she needs him… that child begins to hear.

She sits on my stone, sometimes for hours, not moving or speaking. It worries the others, but at least she is quiet, at least she is no trouble, and they are beginning to associate their hearth with safety. So they let her sit.

She is *listening*. She is listening to the sound of the water, to the sounds of the forest, to the wind blowing. And because she is listening, where no-one else has listened for so long, I sing to her. I sing to her the songs of thousands of years. From the wordless music of the earliest people, who sang what was in their hearts without words, to the songs I have learned from the fishermen with their radios and bluetooth speakers.

I do not know if she hears me, for some time. But then, one night, while they sit around their fire and eat food the oldest have almost certainly stolen, she sings one of my songs. “In a cavern… on a canyon… excavating for a mine…” she sings in a small voice. The others are startled, confused, for she has not spoken aloud since some bad thing they do not name happened, but one of the older ones knows the song and sings with her.

I have always liked ‘Clementine’. It’s been popular with campers for a long time.

The next day, while she sits on my stone, she sings along to one of the wordless songs the Raven People whose name I no longer remember once sang. It is a lullaby, a soft croon to soothe an infant, passed from mother to mother, and she seems to take pleasure in it.

She can hear me. She can even answer me, as the voice driven away by pain and fear begins to return. And so I grow stronger still. Strong enough to make the raven sign on the stone, one day, in the ashes of the fire of the night before.

She takes a half burned stick, and draws the sign on the stone. Pleased, I show her another sign, a leaping fish. She draws that too.

Soon, I need not shift the ashes. I can show her the pictures in her mind, and she draws them. She draws the wheel of a cart, and into her heart I whisper the stories the travellers in covered wagons once told over my stone. She draws a fish, and I make her laugh silently with the jests of fishermen who boast of fish who escaped them. She draws a horse, and I tell her about the wild horses who once drank at this lake, about the men and women who captured and tamed them and rode them through the forest when it was far greater than it is now. She draws a long-toothed cat, and I show her the great cat that once slept on my stone, and denned in the cave where her new found family sleep.

One night, when all the others are asleep and my fire has burned down to coals, she creeps back to the stone and looks into the coals. “Who are you?” she asks. “Are you real?”

She is afraid that the voice in her mind is the voice of madness, a lie created by a mind that does not work like other minds, that has endured great hardship. I do not want this child to be afraid. To instill fear runs counter to my very nature, save in whoever might threaten those my hearth protects.

I am a god of the hearth. I am a god of food, and communication, and peace, and safety. I am all the things that fire used to mean, before humans learned again to fear the thing they had tamed. I do not often take a form, for fire is my form, but for her I must try.

There was a wise woman once, who knew me, whose clan visited this lake several times every year. I watched her grow up, and grow old. I watched her learn of the god of the fire stone, and I watched her teach others. She slept beside me as a child, and as a woman. She sang her children to sleep beside me, and her grandchildren, and dozed beside me as an old, old woman. To her, I was represented by a sign of a flame in an oval, a fire and a stone.

I build a likeness of her out of the light of the coals and the shadows of smoke, a child with straight dark hair and a simple tunic, and in lines of light I draw the sign of the fire and the stone on the outlined chest. “I am the fire,” I tell her, “and the stone. I am all the fires that have ever burned here, all the stories told, all the songs sung, all the meals eaten. I am the traveler’s hearth, and the rest for the weary, and this is my place.”

“Piedra de fuego,” she says, tracing the symbol with her finger in the air. “The fire stone.”

“Yes. I am the god of this place.”

She frowns at this. “My brother says that God is in the sky.”

“Many gods are in the sky.” I cannot continue to hold the form of the girl, but the coals shift to make my sign. “I am not. I am here. I have always been here, since the first people built a fire on my stone, and warmed themselves.”

She nods slowly. “You are… a small god,” she says thoughtfully. “A place god. Like in movies.”

“Yes.” I’ve heard of movies, which are a new way of telling old, old stories. “Old places, important places, often have gods. And gods who are forgotten return to their old places and wait, until someone believes again.”

“Will you protect us?” she asks. “When the police come, to tell us to move on?”

“I am not strong,” I tell her sadly. “I cannot make men go away from here, if they are dangerous, or even call game here for you as I once did. But what I can do, I will do.”

She sits watching the coals for a long time, thinking. “Can we make you stronger?”

I think too, and she waits patiently. “You have already made me stronger. You listened. You believed. If you can convince the others to believe, that will make me stronger still.”

She sighed. “They don’t believe in anything, anymore. Not good things.”

It is a sad thing, that she knows that. They’ve been trying to hide it from her. “Then,” I tell her, “that means there is a place in their hearts that is ready for me. I am not hope. I am not a happy ending. I am not a god in the sky. I am a stone, and a fire, and a song. I am *real*. They can believe in what is real.”

The next night, she asks for a story, and one of the adults tells her an old fairy-tale from a country far away.

The next night, again, she asks for a story, and another adult tells a funny story about his childhood.

On the third night, she asks her brother to tell her a story. He tries, but he is so tired - not physically, but emotionally - that he runs out of words. So she lays her hand on his arm and offers to tell him a story, instead.

And she tells them all a story about a stone near a lake, flat and strong, that people wearing uncured skins and carrying flint weapons built a fire on. She tells of centuries passing, of people coming to the lake on their feet, on horses, in carts and wagons, in cars and motor-homes. Of thousands of years of fires, of people gathered around them, of the great continuity of humanity, and the Piedra De Fuego that has lain in this place since time began, listening to the stories and the songs and the voices of people long gone. Somewhere in the stone, she says, laying her hand on it, all those stories are remembered. All those songs are still sung. And it will remember us too.

I don’t know if it will work. But I was right. People need to believe in something. They need something to hold onto, when times are hard, when the ties of community and family are broken and they feel alone. And a stone thousands of years old, and a fire endlessly renewed on that stone, always new… that is real. They touch me, and think of those who came before, of thousands of years of history meeting them in this place, and they feel less alone.

It’s not much, not yet. But it is something. My nature, my existence, as explained to them by my small, strange priestess, is a slender lifeline flung to those who are adrift, a tiny certainty in a world they do not trust. And the more they believe in that lifeline, that certainty, then the more they believe in me. I *am* growing stronger.

When the police come, I will not be able to make them leave… but I think I am strong enough now to hide my people from unkind eyes. And if I can do that, then their faith will grow.

Tonight, three more people come. A mother and two children, weary and beaten down with hardship. My people welcome them, give them fish and greens grown by the lake, speak kindly to them. And when they have eaten, my little priestess sits between the two children and tells them a story of a stone, and a fire, and thousands of years of stories and songs, and she sings a wordless lullaby six thousand years forgotten, but living again in a child who draws the sign of the Raven in the dirt while she sings, and the sign of the fire on the stone.

And I grow a little stronger.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

TP Link really is the guy ever.

My man‘s a goofy horse girl who loves goats, sumo wrestles gorons, makes soup for Yetis, collects insects for a girl roleplaying princess parties and holds dogs and cats like puppies, yet almost the entire fandom makes him a brooding edgelord because the color palette of the game is kinda muted and he‘s technically a werewolf.

You can howl songs in this game and he always does a little spin at the end. He plays hide and seek with a town full of cats. He lives in a treehouse and has pictures of goats framed on the walls. You can pet the goats and play fetch with the castle town doggies. He‘s so happy over a cave full of pots to break that they placed the "Happy Link“ Miiverse stamp in said cave. He loves to go shopping in Castle Town. He sticks lit bombs onto arrows to shoot them, and somehow makes it work. He carried a whole barrel of water across half the country with his hands because a Goron was sweating. He sumo wrestles goats, too. He’s a bit of a show-off. If you do any of the sick sword moves he learnt from his dead skeleton gramps and press a, he does a fancy sword sheathing move with a smirk because he feels so cool. He likes to scare the castle town guards as a wolf. He befriends a chicken lady and her flying head son via dungeoncrawling. He set a building full of bombs on fire because of a bug inside. He’s got literal puppy eyes. He let himself get shot off a canon, twice. And got carried away by a giant monster bird, also twice. One of those times was for a minigame where you collect fruit. He eats bee larvae and jello from the ground. He goes snowboarding with the Yetis on a frozen leaf. That he obtains by rolling headfirst into a tree. He shows kindness to strangers as helps out his companion way past what she asked of him even when she was pretty mean because he knows it’s the right thing to do. He defeats the personification of a dead gods‘ anger with a fishing rod he got from his adoptive little bro who wants to be just like him.

TP Link is the guy ever.

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they deal with their secret crush on the farmer

———-——————————

BEHOOOOLD! I’m kind of back but I’m not because I have a job and feel tired most of the time. I still need to get used to adult life. Anyway, here are the bachelors and how they deal with having a fat crush on you, you cutesy farmer person covered in filth!

Contents might be a bit NSFW so MINORS…you know what not to do *fights them off with a stick*

Enjoy my brainrot 🍓🥰

Sam:

-Sammy is a cute little guy, almost like a dog wagging it’s tail when they see their owner.

-he is SO BAD at hiding it

-he will dream about you two jamming on a big stage together. In his ideal world, you two are a successful duo who make noise rock (kind of like the white stripes minus the weird siblings or married controversy)

-Sam will write songs about you. It’s not intentional per say, and he thinks he really sucks at writing love songs, but it just happens whenever he has to think about you. The words just start flowing.

-he might or might not have had some steamy shower fantasies about you…while in the shower. Jodie keeps complaining about the water bill being unusually high 👀

-yet, Sam is usually not too horny when he is in love with you. He is more gushy and daydreamy than anything

Sebastian:

-homeboy works with nightcore versions of love songs to cope with his longing

-he isn’t the type to show his feelings so openly, so no one really notices his crush on you. Maybe Sam, but well, he is Seb’s best bud. Of course he can tell

-He notices how his sleep has improved since having a crush on you. He willingly goes to bed earlier to have some time to imagine scenarios of you two

-just you and him together on his cool ass motorcycle, driving into the night and ending it with a passionate kiss (sounds familiar?)

-well,,, let’s just say Seb is increasingly horny since having a crush on you. Before, he was almost certain he is some sort of asexual, but nope 😃 he’s healthy and extremely down bad for the filthy farmer who eats raw fish out of the pond 🥰

-what I mean by horny? Uhhh… he didn’t really need to rely on certain websites to satisfy his needs, that’s for sure 👀

Harvey:

-Harvey is a good man. A very good man

-god bless his soul 😫

-Harv isn’t the type to have crushes easily…I can’t believe it either, considering his crush on Maru who is way younger than him 💀

-but in my head, he isn’t the type to be all lovey dovey over someone. That’s why he’s so bad at hiding it. But you don’t really notice. You just suspect it but it could also be his usual anxiety lol

-it happened anyway😎 and he doesn’t know how to cope. At all.

-he has to think about you at all times, especially when he looks at the empty jars of delicious pickles you’ve made him

-This man is usually collected, but now?! He forgets everything, can’t even form a comprehensible sentence at times when his mind is busy thinking about a romantic picknick date with a lovely farmer

-Harvey’s libido is pretty much a dead beat horse 💀 but now he even feels the desire to do some nasty nasty at times. It’s still pretty tame, he’s a gentleman through and through, but wild for him to have those feelings and longings after what feels like decades. He’s not mad at it. He has felt low-key dead inside for so long so this is very exciting and he’s eager to explore this side of him…despite being anxious 😭

Elliott:

-bet your ass he’s the prince of crushes

-he is very dedicated and welcomes those refreshing feelings with a kiss

-feeling better than usual AND having inspiration to write ?! SIGN HIM UP

-he will use every chance he can get to talk to you, maybe even get you drunk (in a non creepy way) because he likes when you’re unapologetically authentic and let loose. It makes him feel more in touch with your soul (or some shit idk I’m not a poet)

-Elliott is NOT SUBTLE

-you practically know from the start that he has the hots for you, but it’s kinda funny seeing him try to pretend it’s not that way…if you can even call that pretending not to be 😭

- his passion doesn’t end at his artistry. This guy will spend a lot of time in his shower thinking about what could be, or sitting at the docks at night just staring at the sea (he’s NOT doing anything nasty in public, peeps. Don’t get it twisted)

-I can also see him recreate a romantic bedroom date he’d love to have with you…but it’s just him 🤷🏼‍♀️ self care king 👑

Shane:

-like Harvey: HE CANNOT COPE!

-he hasn’t felt like this since high school. Every other encounter with potential partners was surface level and only based on sexual satisfaction

-so caring about you, thinking about what makes you happy and how he could be the reason you smile every day, that’s a lot for him

-as stupid as it sounds, he spirals and becomes low-key miserable over it. Give this man a 101 lesson on how to process emotions 😭

-despite the constant anxiety he feels, he low-key enjoys it. It’s kind of hopeless as well as pointless in his honest opinion, but there is this believe, that 0.00001% chance (in his mind) that he could turn his life around and be happy with you, married and maybe have a child of his own one day

-but that’s wishful thinking, riiiiiiight? So what does a self loathing piece of alcoholic man do instead of making a move? Yeah, self pleasure even more than usual, to get at least a bit of serotonin and the willpower to get his shit together, at least for you if it isn’t for him. He’s pretty rough with it too (ouch, unless you’re into that)

-sorry bros but him having a crush is not really all that cute. He’s my cutie pie, but let’s be real: him dealing with those feelings he tried to shut off for so long will be tragic in a way. He’s battling his inner demons here. So yeah… :(

Alex:

-my man, my maaaaan 🥰

-he has earned a soft spot in my heart, bless his soul

-so Alex has a crush on you from the start, it’s basically canon

-can he show his feelings? Yes! Can he do that in a way that can be read as the feelings he tries to get across to you? NO!

-low-key bullying is his love language 🥰

-at least in the beginning. He’s a bit anxious and fears he isn’t good enough for you, so he doesn’t try to be authentic. Being the jock jerk everyone expects him to be gets a reaction out of you and that’s better than nothing, right?

-he’s neither the poetic nor the intellectual type, so he doesn’t process his emotions by writing them down or putting them into words. Just imagine him going about his work-out routine, just thinking about your beautiful smile and rocking bod while sweating like a hog

-Alex and quiet ? Yes that’s possible. I imagine him to go quieter than usual since having a crush on you. He processes everything internally and that takes a lot of time for him as he usually just shrugs off his emotions and doesn’t try to brood too much on them. But now?! He can’t but blush in silence as he just imagines how soft and small your hands must be next to his (yours are way more impressive than his and calloused to the gods, but let him have this moment)

-when it comes to being nasty…Alex is a serial romantic. We know that he probably was the lady’s man back in school so he probably got some action one way or another. In other words, man has the libido of a teen that just hit puberty 💀

-despite being quite horny, he was able to manage to just do it every other day. Now, he cannot even get out of bed in the morning before doing it as you pester his dreams and make his hormones go crazy first thing in the morning…so many nice boxer shorts were lost along the way 🫡

-he also did his own laundry for the first time during that period lmfao

[edenexxe]

i got bored an converted idioms into their danger days alternatives: part 1/?

piece of cake = pumpkin pie

close but no cigar = close but too far right

once in a blue moon = once in a storm

cry over spilled milk = cry over spilled paint

ants in your pants = sand in your pants

break the ice = break the glass

by the skin of your teeth = by the paint of your blaster

be at loggerheads = be at the barrier

beating a dead horse = shooting a shattered glass

let sleeping dogs lie = let old metal rust

the cat's out of the bag = the car's out of the lot

the elephant in the room = the sun in the room

worth its weight in gold = worth its weight in ice

cost an arm and a leg = cost a thought and a song

two peas in a pod = two lanes in a freeway

hit the nail on the head = hit the bottle in the neck

that ship has sailed = that record's spun

out of the blue = out of the dust

apples to oranges = ashes to sand

when pigs fly = when winter comes

the whole nine yards = the whole seven zones

grass is greener on the other side = wind is cooler on the other side

count your chickens before they hatch = count your crew before the run

other fish in the sea = other colors on the wall

[junosmindpalace]

DOWN IN THE MEADOW

🎧 deep in the brook, catfish are waiting for the hook!

pairing: arthur morgan x fem!reader

synopsis: you, a former saloon girl, and your relationship with arthur through a song in accordance with the seasons.

content: family dynamics, domesticity, relationship timeline, a little bit of insecure arthur, horrible transitions between jack and arthur povs, messy intro and conclusion, soft gentle love thats the fic

wc: 2.9k

a/n: i haven't posted anything in nearly a month...SO sorry about that but here's this! i promise i've been working i've just been pickier with what i choose to post + theyre all lengthy as shit. this is different from what i usually write but we're trying some new stuff </3

Something that not many people were aware of was how very boring the outlaw life could be.

More often than not the lifestyle meant a whole lot of housekeeping, hunting and fishing; and that was only if you were old, strong, and experienced enough to handle such activities. To Jack Marston's misfortune, he was none of those things. 

Life as an outlaw could be especially boring for a young boy such as himself, with no one of his size to cancel out each other’s boredom by becoming playmates. His momma and various aunts and uncles did their best to entertain him when they had the spare time, and he too found amusement in the beauty and wonder of the outdoors.  

Fortunately, the worst of winter's wrath was over with, and beside the occasional snowfall, the weather was tame enough to settle down in a new camp and lounge about.

Because he cannot leave the camp very often, Jack settles for sitting by its outskirts. And it’s one of these even days that become odd when he spots his Uncle Arthur return from a trip into town accompanied by a stranger on the back of his horse.

Jack was closely acquainted with every member of his misfit family; he could recognize every worn face within it. Who wore which scar and where, which voices were more often fussy or brimming with glee, and even the ones that one day disappear and never return. This face that his Uncle Arthur brought back with him was a face he didn’t recognize, kind and curious as he observed it to be.

The small boy had been taught from a very early age not to trust strangers. There are few people in this cold and cruel world that wholeheartedly care for him; the vagabonds in this makeshift home of his were a couple.

But Uncle Arthur had brought her to them with reassurances that she would fit in just fine within their family, to them and seemingly the timid woman herself, who looked onward on at him for guidance. And Jack trusted what the older man deemed safe to accept this new member with hardly any worry in the back of his mind.

It didn’t take long for all of camp to learn that she had been a saloon girl from the town over where Arthur had been frequenting on business. It explained why she had arrived with nothing but a dagger in a holster sewed to her boot and a guitar on her back. 

The strange woman, however, adored Jack from the moment she had introduced herself to him, sitting in the tallgrass and braiding its strands. Jack observed, outside of her initial nervous demeanour, that she had kind eyes and a wit about her that he observed in many members of the gang, including those he loves and cares for the most. A mouth that his mother found often laughing as a result of and along with, and one that spun tall tales in the form of song and dance with various camp members. 

However, everyone was expected to contribute to bringing about funds and resources for the gang. It meant Arthur, the primary enforcer, spent most of his time out of camp running errands. 

You often asked to tag along in the shotgun seat of his wagon, whether to satisfy your own intrigue of the terrain or on Miss Grimshaw’s orders, but the extension of his hand gently escorting you on board was confirmation that Arthur didn’t have very many qualms with his company. 

Between light-hearted conversation, the two of you admire the thick blankets of shiny snow that had built up over various days of steady snowfall through squinted gazes as the light reflected back into your eyes. It glimmered and gleamed under arrays of sunlight, and crunched satisfyingly beneath each turn of the wheel. Your boots are thick and comfortable enough that you’re also able to enjoy the crunch beneath your feet when you arrive into the nearby town and hop off the wagon, with Arthur assisting in steadying you on your way down. 

You scout the town for work while Arthur does his shopping, and it isn’t all that long until you find it in nearby saloons. A couple of standalone gigs for a fair sum of money is perfect for your circumstances. Arthur offers to drive you into town nearly every day, the exception being when he’s already out of camp prior. It’s your primary contributor to the gang’s stability, besides helping around camp when you could. 

Uncle Arthur and the saloon girl often accompanied one another in their errands, by the shore of a river, or on a log beside the campfire. Jack could often find the two of you exchanging everything from anecdotes to laughs to something more shy and intimate. There are a set of unspoken social customs and courtesies when it came to confronting such curiosity, but Jack was too young to understand such customs; and far too curious.

So curious as to go so far as to one day innocently ask his Uncle Arthur if he was sweet on the girl—in front of her. His bluntness had the poor man choking on the rum from his flask as his cheeks flushed from either the suffocation or the embarrassment he felt over the situation--or perhaps both.

“Wha…N...No, you can’t just—“ he attempts to recollect himself, letting out a couple of coughs into the crook of his elbow before inhaling a strangled breath in. His eyes dart nervously between you and the boy. “You can’t just ask things like that, Jack. It ain’t polite. Where'd you even learn that...?"

But your warm eyes only crinkle in amusement as you laugh.

“I don’t mind. Besides, what does your lot know about polite?” 

Jack liked her songs, and found his feet eagerly carrying themselves over when he hears her by the campfire with Javier, guitars out and voices in sweet harmony. Sometimes she’ll get up and dance, and Jack will join her on her feet. One evening, there's already someone else swaying with you to a melody, and your gleeful laughter is paired with Arthur's bashful chuckles.

Oh, curse his northern attitude for leaving him so stiff, burning under the intensity of your warm gaze. The ambers from the campfire leave a little twinkle in your eye that makes his stomach stir uncomfortably, his muscles seize up the slightest bit. But your appreciative smile and courtesy as he bows playfully tells him there was nothing to forgive in the first place. 

Spring eventually sprouts up from the ground, and with it, more opportunities for leisure activity. Abigail kindly asks if you would take little Jack with you and Arthur to bask in the serene nature trails by the meadows, to which you happily oblige her request. 

Arthur leaves camp with you on the back of his horse or on the shotgun seat of the wagon more often than not. Sometimes--Jack overhears--it's on Miss Grimshaw’s orders. Other times, one or the other is in need of some company to assist with a personal chore. And very occasionally, the reason lies solely in wanting to be around one another (though this is more speculation on the gang's part, who by now have also taken note of that lingering something, and coming to this conclusion from the longing gazes as if it were obvious). 

In the back of the wagon, you observe the thawing of the snow with Jack through the harmony of your guitar, each firm, yet soft, strum ringing through the warm spring air. The smiles in your voices coupled with the gentle hum of your singing soothes something hard and tense in Arthur’s soul as he too basks in the sweetness of your melody while he drives at the front, melting it to the equivalent of the sludge of the snow. 

When Mr South Wind sighs in the pines

Old Mr Winter whimpers and whines

Down in the meadow, under the snow

April is teaching green things to grow

From prairies to creeks to small forests, your journeys take you in all sorts of places. The grass only grows greener, the sun only shines brighter, and the day is perfect when the wind is cool, too. More and more often are you and Arthur out of camp, and every time you return, Jack observes, you’re both in quite high and satisfied spirits. 

Arthur sits cross legged in a meadow just along one of the trails he takes to and from town filled with wildflowers. His journal sits in his lap, and he carefully sketches a scene not too far down from him. Just a few meters away do you sit with Jack by the wagon with your guitar on your leg as you sing affectionately, with grins plastered on both of your faces as you sway with the rhythm. 

When Mr West Wind howls in a glade

Old Mr Summer nods in the shade

Down in the meadow, deep in the brook

Catfish are waiting for the hook!

You participate in crafting jewelry out of the yellow flowers alongside the boy, using the back of your guitar as a makeshift table as you carefully pluck the dandelions and daisies surrounding you, watching one another as you weave the stems and excitedly present the final products to one another. Later, you’d teach him how he can store all kinds of leaves and flowers and herbs between the heavy pages of his storybooks. That was just the sort of thing you did; bring about this an innocent wonder and awe into peoples lives like no strange character Arthur has ever met; and he’s had quite his share of encounters with strange folk. 

He doesn’t remember the last time the world has brimmed with so much color, full of a kind of special magic. He finds it impossible to replicate the scene to perfection in his journal, but each additional detail--your tooth peeking out from your smile, the crescent shape of your eyes, the gentle dexterity in your hands-- reduces him to some sort of breathlessness.

And each time he picks up his book and flips back to his illustration, he returns to that beautiful day, the same feeling of sheer admiration returning with it, so maybe he didn’t do too terrible of a job.

Arthur's journal holds a dirty secret: that perhaps he was in love with you.

A fair portion of the pages were filled with sketches of you, whole portraits and mini doodles, of passages detailing your endeavours together, transcribed song lyrics of yours, and worst of all, the ever changing feelings of his toward you. They aren't very becoming from a man such as himself, but perhaps nothing good really was. A sort of guilt and hefty embarrassment weighed on his heart the more he reflected on it, too depressingly for a man who should be only elevated by the realisation. But what other than sorrow did love ever promise Arthur?

Old Lady Blackbird flirts with the scarecrow

Scarecrow is waving at the moon

Old Mr Moon makes hearts everywhere go bump, bump

With the magic of June

It’s Jack’s favorite part of the song because of a little smack! you give the body of the guitar over halfway through the verse, and he either claps or slaps his own knees along to the rhythm with a giggle. 

As dusk approaches the horizon, Jack finds the two of you sitting on the shore of the river just beside camp, and through the gaps between tall pine trees and tents with their equipment alike, Jack can see your legs thrown over Uncle Arthur’s lap. A gentle hand of his rests on your clothed thigh, smoothing down the fabric of your skirt as the other is placed behind him, keeping him upright. You play around with the placement of Arthur’s hat on his head. For whatever reason, it amuses you to no end, and the unimpressed look on Arthur’s face only fuels your laughter. Still, he’s only able to maintain the expression for a moment before it morphs into one of endearment. 

The water from the river sparkles behind the two of you as the scene unfolds before the boy’s eyes, and he’s forced to look away when he feels a tug at his arm.

“Oh, Jack, aren't you nosey? Let’s not bother Uncle Arthur right now,” his mother quickly ushers him away toward the opposite side of the camp, glancing between her son and the pair of you. “He’s busy.” 

Jack is able to spare one final glance over his shoulder in your direction, catch a glimpse of your foreheads resting against each other as your laughter subdues, before he turns away and allows his momma to lead him to help his pa with some of his chores. 

When Mr East Wind shouts over head

Then all the leaves turn yellow and red

Down in the meadow corn stocks are high

Pumpkins are ripe and ready for pie

Autumn, specifically, is an interesting time to be out and about. Arthur chaperones you and Jack on your scavenger hunt of various fall plants and beauties. The two of you point out the various colors in the trees and on the ground, the mushrooms growing between blades of grass, and the various herbs and flowers and crops that grow in the fields. Arthur doubles as a delightful treasure trove of knowledge, with some of the items already having a portion of his page in his journal dedicated to its likeness, and some he adds in as you go along. 

You entertain his insight as you walk arm in arm, and something about it is just so delightfully domestic, Arthur recognises, that it makes him feel like mush again.

For a moment, he nearly forgets what his life really is, what sort of gruesome deeds he’s responsible for, the consequences of this lifestyle, and he’s desperate to hold onto the moment. Innocent and peaceful, a life he's been unrightfully yearning after for a while now. The foraging all in all reaps well, yet Arthur can’t help but find the real reward in the way you lean your head against his arm as if he were a pillar of security, not an anchor that weighs you down.

Old Lady Blackbird flirts with the scarecrow

Scarecrow's waving at the Moon

Old Mr Moon makes hearts everywhere go bump-bump

With the magic of June

Unfortunately, the magic of the warm weather does not last forever. Yet not even the encroaching winter chill could freeze up the warmth in your chest. But it did nip at your fingertips--at your’s and Arthur’s and Jack’s. 

The groups joint efforts are relied upon a hundredfold when the snow starts to fall and the chill breezes through the flaps of the tents in the camps. Like a clock tower bell, it indicates that it’s time to up and move and find more secure shelter, with stronger walls and better furnaces. Somehow the bitter cold doesn’t leave a quiver in your heart, and it's proven when you sit on the edge of Arthur’s wagon with Jack and Abigail and your guitar in your lap as you strum through a melody for Jack’s entertainment. 

When Mr North Wind rolls on the breeze

Old father Christmas trims over trees

Down in the meadow snow shoftly gleams…

The lengthy trip wears everyone down eventually, and after an indefinite amount of time consolidating the various paths, the gang happens along an abandoned town in which to take refuge from Demeter’s grief. 

By the time you arrive at the safe destination to set up camp, the stars have made themselves visible in the sky. Arrangements are quickly made to set up camp and settle everyone into a room with a place to sleep, wagons being unloaded and horses tied to posts. Thankfully, the snow has ceased attempting to bury the gang in a thick blanket, and the winds howl has lulled to a short whistle. Arthur’s sleeping arrangement differs for the first time in years; Miss Grimshaw tells him he now shares a room with you. 

As it is your first time relocating, the move takes a harsh toll on both your physical and mental exhaustion. Along with young Jack at the back of Arthur’s wagon you both lie dead to the world with uncomfortable expressions. Abigail raises the boy into her arms when she comes around with a huff, cradling him close to her jacket. 

“Alright little man,” she tells him with an affectionate, exasperated tone as she turns to trudge to her cabin, “let’s get you to bed now.” 

Arthur turns to stare at you, hugging your body in an unconscious effort to keep even the slightest bit warm and relaxed, and for some reason cannot find the heart to wake you from your uneasy slumber. So he huffs, strides over, and situates an arm under your legs and another behind your back.

“C’mere, sleeping beauty…” he grunts as he lifts you in a similar fashion close to his chest, slowly making his way toward your shared cabin. “Didn’t realize you were so adverse to traveling.” 

Then again, it wasn’t anybody’s particularly favorite part of the lifestyle. 

Yet an endearing smile plays on his lips when you unconsciously snuggle closer to him, and he knows that the love in your touch and the song in your heart would keep him warm even after the thaw. 

…earth goes to sleep and smiles in her dreams...♡

return to masterlist.

[polakina]

on his knees for you

pairing: javier escuella x reader

rating: mature

outline: a robbery goes sideways, and your already rocky friendship with a fellow camp mate is put to the test as you evade the guards of Van Horn

warnings: cursing, so much bickering, canon-typical gore and violence, flirting, slightly suggestive (this is by far the tamest thing i've ever written)

requests are open! hope you enjoy, petals <3

a/n: i can't believe how many notifications i've gotten about my works over the past week. its fucking crazy. thank you so much, you're all absolute stars

masterlist

II

It was a simple job, really. Get in, steal the bonds, and get out.

But nothing ever went as simple as the original plan, did it? Not with the Van Der Linde gang. There was always a little bit of improvisation to be had. Which was exactly what you were doing right now.

Bullets firing past your ears, blood running down your leg, the target’s personal guards chasing you down the winding paths of Roanoke Ridge.

-

One day earlier.

The plan was set. Arthur, Bill and Lenny were to infiltrate the building and steal the bonds, while Micah and Charles handled the guards. You and Javier were on lookout, posted at the entrance gates. 

You were all stationed just outside of Van Horn, your target being the mansion and its occupiers. Trelawny had brought intel of bonds on their way through Van Horn to Annesburg, stopping off at the mansion overnight. Roanoke wasn’t a place anyone wanted to be caught up in at night.

“It’s fucking freezing out here,” you muttered, leaning further against your horse, absorbing his body heat as much as you could. It had been hours of waiting around and checking on the mansion. No movement whatsoever since the sun began to set. Darkness was nearing and the coach was nowhere to be seen.

Javier stood beside you, rifle in hand, eyes fixated on the road to the right, where the coach should appear from. “Want my poncho?” He asked, glancing at you briefly.

You didn’t even cast him a look as you responded. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your style, Escuella. I think I’ll survive without it.” You sighed, and moved from your position, heading further down the road, hiding in the trees to watch from a different position, seeing the road winding down Roanoke Ridge to New Hanover.

The two of you had never gotten along. He didn’t like your attitude one bit. You were snarky, cold. Something you’d developed after years of running with Arthur and John. He’d try and make conversation, you’d brush it off. He’d invite you on a fishing or hunting trip, you’d decline and say you preferred to hunt alone. He couldn’t win. You never sat with the camp during his songs or meals, you were always perched somewhere else, keeping lookout. That’s what you did. That’s all you ever did. 

So after a few months, he gave up. Not exactly understanding your harshness to him, he just accepted it instead. He returned your cold comments and your mean stares. Years passed and you bickered like enemies living beside one another. 

You whistled out to the group as you spotted the coach. Your whistle blended with the birds, so it was undetected by the gourds watching the bonds.

Everything went smoothly, Arthur, Lenny and Bill making quick work of breaking into the bonds lock box, and you heard the guards grunting and groaning as they hit the floor from Micah and Bill’s attacks.

Through your scope, you spotted as the boys grabbed the bonds, throwing them into their satchels. Drifting your rifle along the side of the mansion, you sensed something wrong with Bill. He was arguing with Micah. More so than usual. 

“What’s going on?” Javier whispered, lying beside you, hidden between the trees.

You shushed him, focusing on Bill. Their argument grew even more heated, and you caught a glimpse of lantern light behind them. You watched as they turned, cursing loudly before returning fire. Micah had scurried off during the brawl with the guards, seeking other treasures and getting himself caught in a scuff with guardsmen minding their own business.

“Shit, shit,” Javier cursed, throwing an arm over you and holding you down, protecting your head as bullets fired your way. “He can’t keep his head for one mission, puta madre!”

Arthur had ordered for, if the mission went south; which you had good money on it that it did, that you scatter. Split up and evade Van Horn at all costs, go the long way around New Hanover until it was safe to return back to camp so you were sure you weren’t followed. 

They had the bonds, all they needed to do was escape without getting caught. But you wouldn’t have minded if Micah got murdered in the. Just when you thought he’d found your last nerve, he managed to hit another one.

“I think this is our cue to leave,” you said through gritted teeth, pushing yourself onto your feet and grabbing your gear. Javier was on your heels, close behind. You hiked deeper into Murfree Brood territory, constantly keeping an eye over your shoulders for lantern light.

“Our safest path is through Roanoke,” Javier said from behind you, following your path through the trees. “The guards won’t dare follow us through there this late at night.”

You halted suddenly, whipping around to face Javier. He was caught off guard, almost stumbling into you, a surprised expression on his face. “Are you crazy, Escuella? Murfree Brood hunt here at night. If it’s not the guards who get us, it’ll be them. And I’d rather take my chances with bullets rather than-”

A bullet shot through the wind, straight through your leg into the tree behind you. It caught your words in your throat and you almost crumbled to the ground under the pain firing down your leg. Javier didn’t even blink as he wrapped an arm around you, catching you before you fell. He pulled his gun from its holster at his hip, pointing it over your shoulder and firing it straight into the head of the guard who fired at you first.

It drew attention. Of course, it did. Javier pulled you away from the scene, down the winding path leading to New Hanover. His arm stayed firmly around your waist, and you tried to hold in your groans of pain as your feet collided with uneven terrain, worsening the sting of the wound.

You both heard voices, coming from the top of the hill of which you had just descended. Javier pulled you around a large oak tree, pushing your body against the bark which pulled a pained gasp from your lips. “Fucking hell, Javier. At least try to be gentler with-” His hand clamped over your mouth, his body pressed against yours as he looked past the tree trunk to the guards making their way past you, checking their surroundings as they went. 

“You need to learn to shut up once in a while,” he whispered, looking back to you. His hat was tipped down his head, shielding his eyes. “I’m trying to save you and you’re still complaining.”

You looked up at him, your mouth still firmly covered, your hand wrapped around his wrist, instinct from when he shut you up. He smelled of whiskey and firewood, his scent filling your nostrils. His hand wrapped around your waist protectively, tightening as the footsteps grew closer.

Pulling his hand down, you noticed his skin never left yours. It rested around your neck. Softly, no pressure in his fingers, but the heat of his palm burned against your pulse, and he felt your heart rate jump. “Thought you would have wanted to get rid of me, Escuella,” you whispered, looking up at him. 

But he just looked down at you, surprised. “What?”

“Get rid of me. Hand me off to some guards searching through half the woods for us.” Your gaze never wavered. “Would certainly save you the trouble of dealing with me back at camp.”

He just smirked, tilting his head up, his eyes turned down to look at you. “And why would I want to get rid of you? Perhaps I enjoy the trouble you cause me. Ever thought about that?” His eyebrows raised as you stood there, unable to form words. “So are you going to  shut up and behave yourself while I get you out of here? Or are you going to keep talking until they figure out where we are?”

Javier waited for your response, but it never came. You just bowed your head, sealing your lips in a thin line. He took that as a sign that you’d ‘shut up and behave’. 

The men eventually left, abandoning their search for you, leaving both you and Javier a window of opportunity to flee.

-

The sun poked out above the trees from the makeshift camp Javier had set up in New Hanover. You were shielded by the canopy of branches, the fire in front of you keeping you warm. But it wasn’t doing anything good for the bullet wound in your leg. You stretched out your leg, wincing at the pain shooting through your body.

“I told you not to try and fix it by yourself,” you heard Javier say as he emerged with an armful of firewood, dropping it by your bags. “Your hands will shake before you’ve finished stitching it.”

You glared up at him. “Would you suggest I just leave it? Cut my leg off?”

Javier rolled his eyes at you, kneeling in front of you, his knees on either side of your wounded leg. “I would suggest…that you should wait for me. I’ll stitch it for you.”

Pulling his knife from the holster at his ankle, he sliced the blade through the fabric of your pant leg like butter. All the way up to your hip. “Hey!” You called out. “They were new pants.”

“I’ll buy you a replacement. Now shut up.” He was always harsh with his words, but now, it was even more so. A slight pang of worry soaked his tone.

“You’re such an ass sometimes-ow!” His fingers pushed against the wound on your leg, blood pooling out to the floor. “The fuck was that for?”

He looked indifferent as he looked up at you. “Feeling for any shrapnel. You don’t have any, thankfully, or else this would have hurt a lot more than its about to.”

“I could have told you that,” you grimaced as he began cleaning the wound. Applying pressure to one end of the bullet hole only forced blood through the other side. You could see both the entry point and exit point of the wound, stretching across the left and right sides of your leg.

You were both silent as he cleaned your leg, but you gasped as he pulled out a needle. He saw a panicked flash across your face, seeing it appear as quickly as it fled. “Easy,” he soothed, patting your knee. “I’ll be quick. You won’t feel it.”

“Don’t lie to me,” you whispered, your eyes only focused on the needle.

He sighed, leaning closer, tipping your chin up to meet his softened gaze. “Okay. You will feel it. But not much. A bee sting, that’s all it feels like. But it’ll be easier if you lie down.”

“Why?”

“Your muscles tense when you sit upright. You could at least be comfortable while I stitch you up.” He helped you into a more comfortable position. Javier still straddled your shin, one of his hands pressed against your thigh while his other stitched the hole closed. You laid there, his poncho acting as your pillow as you looked up at the trees.

You ignored the sting you felt each time the needle pierced your skin. Javier wasn’t wrong, it did feel like a bee sting. What’s more important, was that you could manage that sort of pain. “Thank you,” you said quietly, but you weren’t certain he heard you at first, until the needle stopped in your skin, his actions immoveable. Lifting your head and straining your neck, you met his eye. There was a small smile on his face, the corners of his moustache turned upwards with his laugh lines driven deep into his skin. You always did like his smile. That was the one thing that never changed about him. 

“It’s the least I can do,” he smiled, turning his attention back to your stitches. “It’s sort of my fault you got shot in the first place.”

“Sort of? You mean ‘entirely’?” You laughed as he playfully slapped your other leg with the back of his hand.

“Quit laughing,” he chuckled with you. “Or I’ll end up stabbing you in the wrong place.”

He finished quickly, wiping away any trace of blood before gently bandaging your leg. His soft touch lingered for a little while, his thumb gently rubbing soothing patterns into your skin. Your breath stopped in your throat as his touch rose higher. Higher up your thigh. To where your thigh met your hip. He was so fixated on it, he didn’t realise what he was doing until he felt your pulse beating at an ungodly rate at the top of your inner thigh.

His eyes flicked up to yours, where you laid, patiently. You were curious what sorts of thoughts were running through his head right now. What sort of cogs were turning in that brain of his.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows, your face closer to his than it had ever been before. “What?” You coaxed, too curious to keep quiet now.

“Nothing,” he moved to lean back, his hands drifting down your thighs, but they never left your body before you grabbed the front of his shirt, holding him in place.

“What did I say? Don’t lie to me, Javier.” Your voice never raised above a whisper. It didn’t need to. You were so close a whisper felt like a shout.

He didn’t respond. He couldn’t speak. The close proximity had rendered him faulty in speech. So instead he closed the gap. His lips touched yours, his body melting against your touch. You didn’t expect it. All those years of bickering. All those years of cruel comments and nasty looks. Nothing prepared you for this. But you welcomed it.

Javier leaned you back, your head meeting the poncho  as you felt his body settle on top of yours. Breaking away for air, you saw a softened, kinder look in his eye when he looked at you. “Is this your apology for me getting shot?” You asked, smiling against his lips as he kissed you once more.

“Is it working?” His lips moved to your neck, hovering above your skin to a point where it tickled.

“Hmm…maybe.” 

“Then perhaps I’ll try a different angle,” he smirked, unbuttoning your pants, encapturing your lips in a soft kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth. He had a lot of making up to do.

[artsyanapink]

GANONDORF X READER

I was in hospital for 30 hours and had to start writting the smut part while I was on morphine. Really great decision... 👍 Anyway it's my first Ganon fanfiction so I hope I wrote the character well. I Imagined Ganon in Hyrule Warrior while writting this.

Warnings: SMUT Dubcon (kinda, I just want to be dominated by that man 😳), lust potion and use of force (I like things kinky and hard sorry not sorry) I ain't into villains and bad guys acting like puppies, so don't expect fluffy stuff. He's a bad guy. Not the Demon King for nothing.

On AO3 as well

It's being three years since Hyrule fell. Three years since the castle darkened. There was no sight of the princess anywhere after the king falls. Rumors has it that an evil Gerudo man took the place of the late king and that was the reason why the sun was never in the sky, replace by black clouds, especially close to the castle.

You were always taking a walk in the shopping district of the castle, taking in the songs of the birds and the voices of marchands urging people to buy their stocks. Everything, you would buy it there. But not anymore.

With no more exchanges between the four cities, there was nothing to buy in Hyrule. It was a dead place no matter where you lay your eyes upon. You had to go by feet in Goron city for the spices, Zora domain for the fishes, Rito village for arrows, sugar canes as well as oil and Gerudo town for the fruits. Only apples were growing close to your home and it was getting dimmer and dimmer.

You made plan to get to one place each five days since the travelling was taking you two and a half. One if you were lucky to not incountered monsters lurking.

Today you would be going to Gerudo town to restock. You didn't dare go for some days after hearing more beasts were in the region. Hopefully today it would be calm. You changed for the heat while hiding your head from the gust of sand that were frequent and made your way to the town.

You knew you were closer when the dried grass started disappearing and the rocks made their presence known with their massiveness. They were huge. So big that they curved in the center, almost hiding the sun for any light to go through. And no sunlight in the Gerudo desert meant a chilling cold. Fortunately your clothes were warm enough to support the drop of temperature.

It wasn't warm enough however to keep you from the chill that went all the way through your spine. It seemed darker despite the sun hidden already and the shadow casted next to you gave you the affirmation you weren't alone. With small steps, you turned face to face with a enormous horse. His skin as black as charcol and his mane like fire. Your breath stucked in your throat when you saw the rider.

Ganondorf.  

You would prefer being embushed by ten bokoblins than with this devil. You had at least a chance of getting away with the first.

"What is a girl like you doing here at night?" His gruff voice made the hair on your body stand as his eyes stared at you in the darkness.

You didn't like the attention on you like this, especially from this type of person. You stepped back, hoping to skirt around the man. "Nothing that concern you, sir." But he moved his horse in your way, halting you as the animal tapped its left hoof angrily with a whinny. You almost tripped at its actions.

"I insist." Ganondorf got down his mount, the clacking of his metal armor resonating in the silence as he made his way to you. He felt something special about you and despite having his doubt about a mere hylian, he would get to the bottom of this. Just like the animal was, the man was huge. Some hair escaped from the shawl on your head, his own red free in the wind. "I think you know who I am."

"I really do not know." You wished he would leave you alone. Ganondorf was gorgeous in your opinion, yes, but a danger. An evil being. It wasn't recommend to mess or less talk with him.

He gritted his teeth. "Do not lie to me, little girl." He grasped your wrist forcefully and you let out a painful whine. "Lying to me is like spitting on my face. Showing dirrespect will get you nowhere." Your body struggled against his hold, profanities leaving your lips every second for him. His eyes widened suddendly when a light blind the both of you, but not enough for the man to losen his grip. "That mark—" A twisted smile appeared on his face at the middle triangle glowing on the back of your hand. "So the legend is true. It does exist."

Confused and scared, you didn't falter your movements. "What are you talking about?" Your eyes met, the claws of his armor leaving a gasp from you. "Let me go!"

"I can't do that now with you in possession of something so important." There was a pregnant pause as his eyes gazed over your form. "You could still proved useful after I've taken it." Your brows furrowed in confusion at his words.

"What—"

Ganondorf reached for the glow with one hand while the other was still holding you in mid-air. It felt like he was piercing your skin and you screamed, the light around you growing bigger. By the time the light dismished, your body fell limp. The triangle that was on your hand turned grey, getting a scoff from the man. He smirked nonetheless knowing he was closer to get the power he wanted and deserved.

"Just two more."

•°•°•

Your sleep was over when you were throw on something soft. The action making your body bounced and mind alert. The hair on your skin rose up when your eyes made out a figure.

How long was he there?

"Look who decided to finally wake up." He sneered. You jumped from the bed but a yelp left your mouth when you were held back, tangling on the side of the bed. A gold chain was on your ankle, great.

Your eyes glared at him after colliding with the bedpost. Anything to be far from him although you knew inside that wouldn't stop this monster. "You got what you want Ganondorf. Why am I still here?"

The man chuckled darkly. "Feisty, aren't we?" He started to take off his armor, only the armsets with the claws staying. When he turned around however, red flood on your face. He already seemed built but without a top? The man was buff with muscles, red chest hair contrasting with his skin color. Your eyes broke from the sight immediately, hoping the Gerudo didn't see that.

But, oh, he did. "Enjoying the view small one?" Ganondorf threw the armor far while approaching your form dangerously. His eyes slit, challenging you to lie to him again and that shut you up. It only left you angry at yourself for finding this evil king attractive.

"You will stay here to keep me compagny and do as I say. Better started getting obediant now."

Keeping him compagny? "So now I am your pet?" You murmured unhappy, yanking the chain in resilience.

Ganondorf smirked devilishly, lookind down at you. He sounded condescending. "If you want to call it that way, pet." He emphasized the last word. "But you will watch your mouth soon enough."

"Or what?"

The door knocked suddenly, catching you on guard at who it might be. However, by the smile widening on the Gerudo man, you weren't excited to know. A sheikah entered the room. They look at you briefly and then at him. "Lord Ganondorf, I had found what you requested." The sheikah bowed down, giving the man a vial filled with red liquid.

Ganondorf didn't even look their way, his amber eyes on the vial with a twisted expression. "You're still being loyal after all these years, Sheik. I'm surprised."

"I follow whoever is the enemy of the royal family."

"That'll be all." The Sheika left in a puff of smoke.

"What is that?" Your voice was hoarse from the anxiousness, your gaze between the vial and the man.

"Something to keep you in line. It will bring great excitement to you, don't worry." The Gerudo man thugged the chain toward him, resulting in your body sliding to the end of the bed like a doll. It's like you weight nothing. It got a yelp from you and a booming laugh from him. He gripped the ties harder, bringing your face closer to his after the man crouched. "Open wide." But your mouth stayed close. Ganondorf growled at your disobience, irritated. "Don't start again, girl." He grabbed your cheeks and pressed with his armored claws digging into the skin. "Drink."

You finally let go after looking at him. The liquid ran down your troat. Instantately you felt hot and lighthead. "That fast huh?"

You couldn't keep your eyes off Ganondorf, your silent attraction reavealing itself so easily. "I feel strange."

He positionned himself on top of you, chest in full view. "You understand the effects do you, princess?" That nickname was new but it didn't bother you much as it turned you on more instead. Ganondorf cut the clothes with the sharp tip before grazing your nipples, eliciting a loud moan from you. Your voice ragged and reaching for air. The man continued to massage your breasts. "How does it feels?"

"You bastard—AH!"

He smirked triumphally while sucking the sensitive part. His tongue was hot and moving fast against your nipple. Your breath quickened at the attention your body was receiving. You hate that you love this. "Don't stop..." You whimpered, hiding your face with your hand.

"What was that girl?" You were interrupted by his hand caressing your lower parts. "Mh." Ganondorf gazed down a moment, his grin larger. "You're enjoying this quite a lot I see." The squishing sound of your garment and the juices were making you even more embarrassed.

"Just...." You try to ignore his eyes lingering on you. "Please continue..."

"Certainly princess."

Your lower body was naked as the air caressed your pussy. The man didn't struggle to take off partly his robe, revealing his member pulsing in front of you. Your pupils dilated and your mouth opened. "It won't fit—"

Ganondorf hands grabbed you easily by the hips, putting you on his lap, just over his member. Your owns instantly placed on his shoulders to create distance. "You were so excited to continue this little game." His voice resonated in your ears like honey, earning another whimper.

"I—"

His armored hand grabbed your cheekbones with power while you watched him with a mixture of lust and fear. "I'm in charge here girl. Don't command me, a king."

The intrusion was sudden but weirdly not as painful as you had thought. Maybe because your juices were flowing and cascading down the interior of your thighs. "That's it." He groaned silently, closing his eyes. The man's hands moved to your waist, applying more force before bringing your down again.

Your gasps filled the room. You were shaking. "It's too much! I'm too filled!"

"Perfect." Ganondorf replied and smacked his hips into you repeatively. He grabbed your hair from behind, another moan leaving your lips in exctasy. "You're mine to keep." He rolled his pelvis, touching new parts inside you that made you see stars. "Your power is mine. All of you—" He growled, changing position so you were now crouched on top of him, his arms snaking around your body and entering deeper than he had previously. "Is mine."

Your eyes rolled to the back, tongue out and sweat running down your body. "More....More please." You whimpered, shaking.

The movement stopped suddenly as his grip on you losened. You watched him with confusion and despair. You were so close! "Why are you stopping?" Your hands were on his pecks, his breathing moving your whole body to the ryththm.

"Oh, don't worry, princess. We are far from finished." He explained smugly. You were roughly switched on your stomach, your eyes half-lidded from the potion and the pleasure. Ganondorf fondled with your buttcheeks and you were vocal again after metal slapped the flesh.

"Ah!"

The man hips collided with your back, the new intrusion farther inside you. He gripped one arm, arching your body towards him while the other hand rest on the redened flesh. "How do you feel?" He huffed, his pelvis either creating round movements or entering forcefully, eliciting shocks across your body. "I sense your lust from your part of the triforce." He groaned, slapping harder but slower.

"I can't feel like this—I can't—" You mumbled inconherently and before you knew it, white filled your vision.

You rested there on the bed, panting and disheveled as Ganondorf looked over at you one last time then left the room laughing with an evil smile on his lips.

[br1ghtestlight]

here's a list of bob's burgers episodes that focus on a specific relationship dynamic between main characters (examples: bob and louise episodes, linda and tina, gene and louise etc) obviously not including every episode where they interact with each other bcuz that would be uhh every episode. but episodes where their relationship or dynamic is the heart of the story and some silly subplots focused on their dynamic w/ each other (with probably a few exceptions)

hopefully this is helpful if you feel like watching louise/tina or bob/gene etc episodes but don't remember all the titles!!! in the future I would like to do a similar list but for ship-related episodes (fischoeder/bob episodes, rudy/louise etc) but we'll see if that happens lol

bob and louise episodes:

s1ep9 spaghetti western and meatballs

s3ep22 carpe museum

s5ep10 late afternoon in the garden of bob and louise

s5ep20 hawk and chick

s6ep19 glued, where's my bob? (subplot)

s8ep12 the hurt soccer

s8ep18 as i walk through the alley of the shadow of ramps

s10ep20 poops! i didn't do it again

s11ep14 mr. lonely farts (subplot)

s12ep8 stuck in the kitchen with you

s13ep6 apple gore-chard (but not gory)

gene and bob episodes:

s2ep9 beefsquatch

s3ep12 broadcast wagstaff school news (subplot)

s5ep5 best burger

s5ep14 little hard dad

s7ep18 the laser-inth

s8ep8 v for valentine-detta (subplot)

s9ep12 the helen hunt (subplot)

s10ep2 boys just wanna have fungus

s11ep7 diarrhea of a poopy kid

s12ep7 loft in bedslation (subplot)

s12ep19 a-sprout a boy

s13ep7 ready player gene

s13ep12 oh row you didn't (subplot)

tina and bob episodes:

s1ep4 sexy dance fighting

s1ep6 sheesh! cab, bob?

s3ep7 tina-rannosaurus wrecks

s3ep10 mother daughter laser razor (subplot)

s4ep5 turkey in a can (subplot)

s4ep7 bob and deliver

s4ep17 the equestranauts

s6ep14 the hormone-iums

s6ep17 the horse rider-er

s10ep3 motor, she boat

s11ep22 vampire disco death dance

s12ep21 some like it bot part 1: eighth grade runner

s12ep22 some like it bot part 2: judge-bot day

s13ep17 crow encounters of the bird kind

gene and louise episodes:

s1ep9 spaghetti western and meatballs

s2ep6 dr yap (subplot)

s4ep18 ambergris

s5ep17 itty bitty ditty committee

s6ep12 stand by gene

s6ep17 the horse rider-er (subplot)

s7ep5 large brother, where fart thou?

s7ep8 ex mach tina (subplot)

s7ep13 the grand mama-pest hotel (subplot)

s7ep15 ain't miss debatin' (subplot)

s9ep9 ufo no you didn't (subplot)

s9ep17 what about blob?

s9ep20 the gene mile

s10ep5 legends of the mall

s10ep10 have yourself a maily little christmas (subplot)

s10ep11 drumforgiven

s10ep14 wag the song (subplot)

s10ep15 yurty rotten scoundrels (subplot)

s10ep18 tappy tappy tappy tap tap tap (subplot)

s12ep10 gene's christmas break

s13ep11 cheaty cheaty bang bang (subplot)

s13ep14 these boots are made for stalking (subplot)

s13ep17 crow encounters of the bird kind (subplot)

s14ep5 bully-ieve it or not (subplot)

louise and tina episodes:

s1ep6 sheesh! cab, bob? (subplot)

s3ep21 boyz 4 now

s4ep18 ambergris

s4ep20 gene it on (subplot)

s5ep7 tina tailor soldier spy

s5ep8 midday run

s5ep9 speakeasy rider

s6ep16 bye bye boo boo

s7ep6 the quirkducers

s7ep18 the laser-inth (subplot)

s8ep12 the hurt soccer (subplot)

s8ep14 the date escape (subplot)

s8ep15 go tina on the mountain

s8ep18 as i walk through the alley in the shadow of ramps

s8ep20 mission impos-slug-ble

s10ep2 boys just wanna have fungus (subplot)

s10ep12 a fish called tina

s11ep4 heartbreak hotel-oween

s11ep5 fast time capsules at wagstaff school

s11ep9 mommy boy (subplot)

s11ep15 ¿y tu tina tambie?

s12ep1 manic pixie crap show

s12ep19 a-sprout a boy (subplot)

s13ep1 to bob, or not to bob (subplot)

s13ep7 ready player gene (subplot)

s13ep8 putts-giving

s13ep10 the plight before christmas

s13ep15 the show (and tell) must go on

s14ep3 the pickleorette (subplot)

s14ep4 running down a gene (subplot)

linda and louise episodes:

s1ep7 bed and breakfast

s3ep10 mother daughter laser razor

s4ep9 slumber party

s5ep14 little hard dad (subplot)

s5ep19 housetrap (subplot)

s6ep17 the horse rider-er (subplot)

s7ep1 flu-ouise

s7ep18 the laser-inth (subplot)

s7ep19 thelma and louise except thelma is linda

s11ep2 worms of in-rear-ment

s12ep7 loft in bedslation

s12ep17 the spider house rules

s13ep13 stop! or my mom will sleuth!

s13ep22 amelia

s14ep1 fight at the not okay chore-ral

gene and linda episodes:

s3ep23 the unnatural

s4ep20 gene it on

s6ep17 the horse rider-er (subplot)

s8ep11 sleeping with the frenemy (subplot)

s8ep12 the hurt soccer (subplot)

s10ep3 motor, she boat (subplot)

s10ep9 all that gene

s11ep9 mommy boy

s11ep22 vampire disco death dance (subplot)

s13ep18 gift card or buy trying

linda and tina episodes:

s2ep8 bad tina

s5ep13 little hard dad (subplot)

s7ep13 the grand mama-pest hotel

s7ep18 the laser-inth (subplot)

s8ep8 v for valentine-detta

s9ep12 the helen hunt

s10ep15 yurty rotten scoundrels

s10ep21 local she-ro

s11ep14 mr lonely farts (subplot)

s13ep11 cheaty cheaty bang bang

s13ep14 these boots are made for stalking

s14ep7 the (raccoon) king and i (subplot)

tina and gene episodes*

*tina and gene have never had a real episode or subplot focused on their relationship dynamic so this section may be. a little sparse. and include episodes that don't focus on their relationship but have significant interactions between them. I'M TRYING MY BEST HERE THE BOB'S BURGERS WRITERS ARE GIVING ME NOTHING

s3ep16 topsy (subplot)

s4ep9 slumber party (subplot?)

s5ep17 itty bitty ditty committee (subplot kinda?)

s5ep19 housetrap (subplot)

s7ep10 there's no business like mr business business (subplot)

s7ep19 thelma and louise except linda is thelma (subplot?)

s9ep18 if you love it so much, why don't you marionette? (subplot)

s10ep12 a fish called tina

s11ep17 fingers-loose (subplot? maybe?)

s12ep8 stuck in the kitchen with you (subplot)

s12ep15 ancient misbehavin' (subplot of a subplot)

s13ep6 apple gore-chard (but not gory) (subplot)

s14ep2 the amazing rudy (subplot?)

[radicallxser]

a/n: once again up in my feels and coping with a deity turtle: peepaw edition. warnings for violent themes and other such yandere things. flirty god x war experienced reader. song doesn't fit for this one either but whtv anymore.

Gaze of The Deceitful Divine

(Don't Fear) The Reaper

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Your body aches. Blood coats your armor and the floor beneath you.

Not yours.

Your head is bowed, hands folded and eyes shut tight. The only sound is your own breathing and the cracking of the altar's candles.

Then there is cacophony of stomping and shouts and the beating of hooves on the ground. You bring your head down further, pressing it into the cool marble floor beneath you.

The sanctuary doors fly open and you can hear the clinking of metal armor and the echoes of orders being barked.

You remain in your position.

Your ungloved hands meet the familiar hilt of your blade. The grooves of where your fingers used to grasp it so desperately. You don't grab the blade, leaving it to rest before your god's likeness.

You blink your eyes open as the footsteps grow closer, looking up to the statue of your grace.

A massive marble structure of an impossibly beautiful mutant. His head is tilted downwards, looking down his snout with a smirk. His eyes are striking even after all these years the statue has endured.

The red is a familiar shade.

You squeeze your eye shut and bow your head again. The doors to the room slam open and your head the approaching footsteps.

A rope is lowered and then tightened around your neck. The man behinds you presses his knee against your spine and hisses in your ear.

"I didn't think it'd be this easy, you know."

You keep your eyes shut and don't respond to him. He growls, tugging the rope tighter. Your head begins to swim and then everything is black.

-

The surface beneath you shifts in a steady motion, you hear the sound of hood falls and huffing. Your fingers curl into the creatures mane as you begin to come to. You slowly begin to regain use your limbs and senses.

Then something touches your waist. Your very much unarmored waist.

You blink your eyes open quickly, eyeing the three fingered hands. The thumb is curled into the loops of the sash on your waist.

You furrow your brows.

It has been years since you'd worn robes, especially nice, silken ones like these.

You try to turn, but something stops you. That something then breathes a breath of hot air onto your neck and nuzzles close to your ears.

"Eyes forward, beauty."

The voice is gruff but with an almost playful edge to it.

You're then made suddenly aware of the force digging into your back and how it isn't your own plates of armor. Your body stiffens on instinct.

The hand on your waist then shifts between your shoulder blades.

"Uh uh. None of that. Relax, sweetheart."

You look down, opting to observe your surroundings. You're sat stop a large horse, the same color of char. It trudges dutifully through the shallow waters that surround you. Colorful fish dance around the legs of the steed.

The being behind you switches their hand to your shoulder.

"You're still rather tense, darling. Just relax."

The voice is almost hypnotic and part of you wants to comply. The other part of you is Fae smarter than that. You jerk your body away from him. The movement doesn't seem to bother the horse.

"Stop that."

The hand wraps around your throat but doesn't squeeze. It still hurts though, there must be a bruise there.

"Perhaps you need a long nap, dearest, you still haven't slept off all that...resistance."

There's a slight pressure against your head that almost feels vaguely like a kiss, then the world fades to black once more.

[monstersandmaw]

Laces for a Lady - 18th century poly shifter romance (Part one, sfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me. 

Well folks, here it is. You said you were interested, so I hope it meets expectations! Here's part one for you, of a multi part story. If you want to kno wmore about it, you can find some more info here, as well as a little 'mood board'.

Content: sfw, the daughter of a country gentleman from Sussex relocates to a sleepy fishing village in Cornwall in order to become the paid companion of a young widow, and meets some of the locals on her arrival. Wordcount: 3972

Five and twenty ponies, Trotting through the dark - Brandy for the Parson, 'Baccy for the Clerk. Laces for a lady; letters for a spy, Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by! ~ from ‘A Smugglers’ Song’, Rudyard Kipling (1906)

In the cool, lavender light of a late spring dawn, a gaff-rigged cutter drew into the sheltering arms of a small bay at high tide, and quietly dropped anchor. As if the soft splash had awoken him, a cockerel spluttered to life in a farmyard somewhere inland, but most of the villagers were already up and awake and steering their small, secret fleet of boats out from the golden crescent of sand beneath the cliffs to meet the waiting ship fresh from Roscoff.

Beneath the waves, where churning kelp moored itself in unyielding handfuls to the ancient granite of the sea floor, a long, serpentine shadow snaked between the stalks, and the currents of the coastline subtly shifted. Any revenue men trying to sail along the coast from Fowey to catch the smugglers would have found the wind and tide set dead against them, and in the subtle wake that wafted from the mottled, eel-like tail as it passed unseen, the waters of the secluded inlet calmed beneath the keels of the scurrying fishing boats. The drag of the oars through the waves lessened, and muscles already tired from heaving and hefting goods up the cliff moved a fraction easier for the unexpected boon.

Between them over the next hour, the gathered men and women shifted their haul of half anker barrels and dozens of crates and boxes of goods ashore. The small kegs of rich, French cognac would fetch a pretty price all across Cornwall, and along with the liquor came smaller luxuries like lace and silk, and bundles of tobacco and spiced tea, all meticulously wrapped in oil cloth to keep the sea and the salt and the water out.

And when the speedy, slender ship was riding noticeably higher in the water, the locals simply melted away into the countryside like so many mice from a late summer granary before the excise men even knew the ship from Guernsey had visited the cove at all.

Fifteen miles away, as the sun breached the horizon and cast its first rays of warmth along bellies of fleecy clouds and the flanks of blossoming hedgerows below, a stagecoach lurched and rumbled westwards along potholed roads, and a young woman stared out of the grimy window as the horses carried her into a new chapter of her life.

After leapfrogging some two hundred miles or so along the staging stations that dotted the South Coast, with nothing but a small trunk of her belongings and a thrice-read, dog-eared novel for company, Eleanor Bywater was more than ready to see the back of that infernal stagecoach. Had it not been for the small but inconveniently bulky travelling case sitting at her feet, she might have hired a horse and ridden from the last staging inn at Plymouth to reach the secluded fishing village of Polgarrack, but given that the trunk held all her worldly belongings, she had not been quite desperate enough to escape the discomfort of hard seats and poor suspension to abandon it.

Bouncing along in the nearly-empty stagecoach, she studiously tried to ignore the older woman sitting opposite her. She’d stared intently at Nel since they'd left Plymouth behind that morning, and her scrutiny had begun to make that last twenty mile stretch feel much, much longer.

Finally, after jouncing over a pothole deep enough to start prospecting for copper ore at the bottom, Nel gasped and then raised her eyes to meet the woman’s openly curious stare. She found sympathy for her own discomfort, and a small degree of kindly amusement too. 

“Where are you headed, miss?” the stranger asked after Nel raised the hint of an eyebrow at her as the silence stretched.

“Polgarrack.”

At that, the woman’s grey eyes narrowed in confusion. “Now what takes a young miss like you to an old fishing village like Polgarrack?”

She looked to be in her fifties, though a life beside the harsh sea had weathered her features somewhat, and her wiry grey hair was covered by a simple linen cap. Her dress was dark and plain, though there was a hint of tired lace around the neck and cuffs. Her hands had the tough, reddened look of someone who scrubbed pots and salted fish, while Nel’s own hands were smooth and soft, if a little ink stained from sending a letter to her friend before leaving the inn that morning.

Nel laughed quietly and shrugged. “There’s no mystery to it,” she said. “I am to be employed as a companion to the widowed Lady Penrose at Heath Top House. I am expected there this afternoon.”

Given that only ladies of relatively high social standing themselves tended to become a ‘lady’s companion’, the older woman made a hasty re-evaluation of her fellow traveller, and her already ruddy cheeks flushed a darker shade as she cleared her throat and looked away.

“Begging your pardon, miss,” she said. “We don’t get many new faces in Polgarrack, is all. I didn’t mean to pry or cause offence with my questions.”

“No harm in a little curiosity,” Nel said, trying to put the stranger at ease to avoid any further awkwardness between them on the remainder of their journey. “I take it you’re from Polgarrack yourself then?”

“Oh, born and raised, miss,” she chortled. She eyed the forest green redingote Nel wore, with its rather masculine high collar, wide lapels and small, gold pocket watch dangling on a chain, and the contrasting sage green skirts beneath, and no doubt made one or two judgements of her own about the young lady. “And yourself? You don’t sound as though you’re from these parts at all, if I may be so bold.”

Nel smiled. “I’ve come from Sussex.”

The woman’s watery, grey-blue eyes widened almost comically and she gasped. “’at's a bloody long way, miss! And all on your own?” She shook her head but remembered herself and mumbled, “Begging your pardon.”

“You’re right,” Nel sighed, letting her gaze slide to the window to watch the countryside roll past in a blur of salt-bleached grass and vibrant yellow gorse flowers. “It is a bloody long way.” And her spine and backside felt every lump and bump and lurch of the stagecoaches from Sussex to Cornwall. With a warmer smile, she turned back to the woman. “My name is Eleanor, but most people call me Nel.”

“Agatha,” she replied with a grandmotherly smile of her own for the young woman. “But everyone calls me Aggie. My husband, Martin, is the village carter and smith, and we’ve got four boys, all of them either fishermen or miners. They all married too, so I’ve got nine grandchildren, if you can believe it!”

Nel offered Aggie her congratulations and another little smile, and then ventured to ask, “Will you tell me a bit about the place? I should like to know more about it, since it is to be my home for the foreseeable future.”

Aggie brightened even more and shuffled her plain, dark skirts, giving a wince and a grunt as the coach lurched over a pothole and the driver cursed audibly above them. Settled, if not entirely comfortable, she began.

“Well, see now. Folks has been fishing these waters for time out of mind. Pilchards is our mainstay, o’course, but the folks over St. Austell way mine clay, and obviously there’s copper and tin mines all over in the north of Cornwall. Mining here is as old as fishing, but it’s starting to dry up here and there now, o’course.”

She barely paused to draw breath before barrelling on, and Nel sat and listened while the older woman talked.

“Now, your Lady Penrose married into the Penrose family — see, she’s from Bath herself originally, though I can’t rightly remember what her family name was, but…” Nel let Agatha's potted history of the fishing and mining community wash over her, paying just enough attention to make polite sounds at the right pauses, but the discomfort of the journey and a decided lack of sleep was beginning to wear her attention span down to a single, fraying thread.

After two hours in the swaying, rolling coach, she felt woozy and weak-stomached, but with Aggie’s near-constant chatter, she at least had a better understanding of the politics of the little village than she’d ever have gained in six months on her own. She’d also learned why Aggie had been in Plymouth, since most folks never had any reason to travel further than the bounds of their own parish. Agatha’s sister’s husband had apparently been killed in the American Revolutionary War some ten years earlier, and since the widow’s health wasn’t the best these days, Aggie made the trip along the coast when she could to see her and take care of her.

Nel’s ticket took her as far as Whitcross, a desolate intersection of paler roads on a clifftop overlooking the tightly-nestled fishing port below, and away across the heather and tufted grass of the heath, she could just see an old manor house in the distance, flanked by tall copper beeches and ash trees. It looked slightly further away than she had anticipated, and she glanced apprehensively down at the travelling trunk at her feet.

Still, she was aching for fresh air and to be free of the sickening motion of the carriage, so she took the driver’s hand and allowed him to guide her safely down onto the hard-packed surface of the road before he lifted her case down for her as well.

From inside, Aggie peered out and scowled disapprovingly. “Now just you wait a moment,” she barked at the driver, who cocked an eyebrow but did pause. “Did they not send someone for you, dearie?” she asked Nel, still leaning out of the doorway and peering about like a disgruntled badger, and using the endearment freely. Apparently, two hours of talking non-stop at Nel had removed any pretence of formality or sense of social distance. Nel might as well have been adopted into Aggie Carter’s family as a niece by that point, and she couldn’t help but smile at the warmth it conjured in her chest.

“I… I never thought that far through,” she admitted, with her hand atop her bonnet as the wind gusted up from the sea below, soaring delightedly over the edge of the cliff and racing on inland as if to continue the momentum of the great rolling breakers that foamed and thundered against the shore. The coachman glanced at his pocket watch and groused something about a schedule that was almost immediately lost to the next inward gust.

“No, no, dearie,” the old woman scoffed. “No, you must come into the village. It’s far too far to go all by yourself, and with that case as well. Here, let me —”

“I can manage the case, I assure you,” Nel said with a gentle smile as Aggie half-toppled, half-leaned out of the coach to pick up the case. “How far is it to the house?”

“Two miles up that hill yonder,” Agatha said, pointing with one gnarled and arthritic finger towards the house on the rise to the north. “Come to the Lantern, and we’ll have one of the lads take you up once you’ve caught your breath.” The Lantern, as Nel now knew thanks to Aggie’s detailed prattling, was the inn at the centre of the village, right on the water near the harbour.

She had been about to protest, but with a sigh, she simply nodded. The constant journeying and jolting had worn her down more than she cared to admit, and while she wasn’t the kind of wallflower she’d met any number of times in London during the Season, a life led mostly indoors with few opportunities for physical activity had not prepared her for a two mile walk in heavy, too-fine clothes, carrying an unwieldy case in gusty conditions. Her family had been invited a number of times to Goodwood House to walk the large park there, and she had frequently ridden a rather spirited mare through the parkland of Lavington Hall with her dear friend William, so she was not entirely unused to the great outdoors, but she did have to admit that her experiences had been rather more curated and sanitised than the wild expanse of heathland visible on all sides of the stagecoach from Whitcross.

“You’re kind, Agatha,” she said, and let the woman heft her case into the otherwise empty coach.

The thing about a tiny village was that an outsider stood out a mile, and a young lady in her mid twenties and dressed in impractical, rich green clothes, stood out like a beacon in a dark night. Everyone turned to watch her as she disembarked from the coach. At home, she had barely garnered a look from anyone. Being the centre of everyone’s curiosity there was novel and, in a word, horrifying.

She almost blurted aloud that one would think she was a revenue man come inspecting for smuggled goods, but she bit it back just in time. Cornwall’s so-called ‘free trade’ and smuggling rackets were absolutely none of her concern as an outsider, infamous though they may be, and it would do her no good to start sticking her nose where it did not belong.

The Lantern was a half-timbered, two-storey building that faced the walled harbour. Its painted sign was peeling and sun-bleached, and it squawked something dreadful as it swung back and forth in the squalling wind. Mullioned windows glinted and shimmered, though the small, diamond panes were caked with a haze of salt spray, and alongside the inn, a hand-cart rumbled down from a narrow side alley towards the harbour beyond, where fishing boats bobbed on their mooring lines at the lapping high tide.

Agatha pushed open the black-painted door but came to an abrupt halt as someone appeared to be leaving the inn at the exact same moment, and nearly barrelled into her and Nel.

“Oh, excuse me,” came a young man’s hoarse tenor, and he stepped aside within the inn’s small porch to allow the two women to enter before he left.

Nel noted briefly that he wore well-made but plain clothes, and carried a hefty looking cane in his left hand, upon which he leaned while he waited for them to pass. He was pale and thin, his undyed linen shirt hanging loosely off his shoulders, and his light brown hair was tied back at the nape of his neck into a horsetail. The moment he met her eye, he inhaled in surprise and almost immediately looked away, his large, dark brown eyes turning shy and uncertain. “M’lady,” he mumbled without looking up.

She didn’t have time to correct him and tell him she had no such title, because the moment she had stepped inside, he was off out into the day beyond, limping markedly on his right leg as he went.

Nel turned back to find Agatha waiting for her, watching. “That there was young Edmund Nancarrow,” she supplied as Nel caught up with her. “Local lad. Lots of Nancarrows in this area,” she chuckled. “Can’t move for tripping over a Nancarrow. He was a shy, skittish thing even before he went off to war in the Colonies and came back with a bad leg,” she added. “But he’s a sweetheart if ever I saw one. Tailor’s ’prentice he is now.”

At that, Nel just nodded. Something in her ached when she realised she probably wouldn’t have much to do with the folk from the village once she was ensconced up at Heath Top House, and she half wised she could. They already sounded far more interesting than the Lady Winnifred Penrose, with whom Nel had only exchanged a short flurry of letters before becoming formally engaged as her ‘companion’. 

Still, an unmarried woman of Nel’s age and social standing was considered almost past her prime, and given that the few marriage proposals she had received had faded into the mists of her very early adulthood, she had had to find another respectable way to support herself. Hence, Heath Top House.

Aggie bustled her into the main room of the pub, and their arrival caused a flurry of activity that drew the eyes of a good few patrons. 

Seated at the wooden bar inside, hunched over a pewter tankard, sat a tall, bulky man in his late-thirties or early forties, with long, thick, dark grey hair shot through with a shimmer of silver white. He had it tied back off his face in a low ponytail at the nape of his neck and as he turned to regard Nel’s arrival, she met unusually deep green eyes surrounded by a web of crows’ feet lines in a tanned, weathered face. His scowl was dark and full of suspicion, but even the storm clouds in his expression couldn’t mask the fact that he was handsome, in a rugged, rough-hewn kind of way.

When she saw where Nel’s attention had snagged, Aggie let out a little gasp and snatched her by the upper arm to steer her towards an empty table in a bay window, about as far from the wooden bar where the man still sat and glared at them as it was possible to be. 

“And that’s Locryn Trevethan,” Aggie hissed as she saw Nel settled into a seat. “Can’t say as I’ve seen him in here more than a handful of times this year though. He’s usually out on the water. Lives alone in an old stone cottage round the bay from here, up at Pilchard Sands. You’d probably best be giving him a wide berth, miss. Not that he should give you any trouble, mind,” she amended carefully, “But he’s not for the likes of you to go mingling with.”

Nel smiled at the protective tone in the older woman’s voice, and nodded once.

With her warning given, Aggie raised her voice and called over to the old man behind the bar. “’ere, Tom! This young lady needs a ride up to Heath Top. You think you can arrange that for her?”

The stoop-shouldered, white-haired man nodded and knuckled his forehead at Nel across the space. “Not the finest, but we got a cart.”

“If you have a horse, I could ride,” she said, trying to be helpful.

“Ain’t got a saddle for a lady,” he said regretfully.

Memories of galloping through the leafy trees of Lavington Hall’s parkland with William flashed across her mind and she suppressed a smile. She certainly hadn’t ridden the grey mare side-saddle while keeping up with her childhood friend, and although it had been a year or so since she’d sat astride a horse instead of side-saddle, she thought she could manage well enough. “I know how to ride a man’s saddle,” she said, “But I do have a travel case I’d need to send someone back for.”

“I could get one of the lads to bring that up for you after,” said Tom, “But it’s almost as much effort to hitch up a cart as it is to tack up a horse for riding, ma’am.”

“Whatever is the least trouble for you will do fine,” she said, and the stoic, weather-beaten old man’s red cheeks darkened and he ducked his head.

While Tom left to sort out transportation to the house, Aggie flapped about getting some refreshments for Nel, leaving her to wait at the table alone.

In the wake of the hubbub and pother Agatha left behind her, Nel took a long, deep breath looked around to find Locryn Trevethan still staring across the room at her. Taken aback by his directness and the intensity of his glare, she tried to smile, but his expression remained thunderous beneath strong, dark brows, and she quickly looked away, embarrassed.

In a face turned to leather by the sun and sea-wind, wide cheekbones and a heavy brow framed his piercingly green eyes. Never mind that marked crow’s feet around his eyes that made him look like he would rather have been laughing; the contrast between the dark, hostile glower and the soft laughter lines unnerved her and made her feel off-balance, as though her stranger’s presence in their local pub had unknowingly raised the ire of a usually gentle man. 

He had a short, neatly-trimmed, salt-and-pepper beard around full lips that were currently turned down at the corners and which bore a silver-pink scar across the middle. Despite the warm day, he wore a fisherman’s dense, woollen sweater, and when she risked another look back at him, she found him still frowning openly across the bar at her.

Nel didn’t relax until Aggie returned, at which point the man snapped abruptly out of his trance, slammed a coin down on the bar, and strode from the pub on long legs that were thick as tree trucks at the thigh. The door bounced back off the plasterwork in his wake and his boots rang on the flagstones outside.

“Not one to welcome strangers, I take it,” Nel muttered, and downed half of the cheap, watered-down wine that Agatha had set on the table for her.

“Oh don’t you pay him no mind, miss,” Aggie scoffed, settling herself down into the seat opposite her like a brooding hen and glaring at the pub door. “He don’t seem to like no one in Polgarrack save for sweet Ned Nancarrow, strangely enough. Then again, I ain’t met no one who’s taken a disliking to sweet Ned. Now, Tom will have the horse and cart ready for you in just a moment, but you just take your time and recover after your journey.”

Nel, who had felt ten times better the moment she’d taken her first proper lungful of sea air on stepping out of the swaying stagecoach, looked across the table into the older woman’s face and found a mother’s kindness and compassion in her wrinkled face, and something twisted in her gut. “You’re very kind,” she whispered, unable to muster anything more. “Thank you.”

She chuckled. “You know, and don’t you take this amiss, but you remind me of my niece a little, though she’s a little younger than you.”

Nel’s eyebrows twitched in wry amusement, and Agatha blushed at the impropriety of her words. Nel didn’t get the chance to reassure her because Tom shuffled back in and told her the cart was ready for her.

She laid a coin on the table for the wine and stood, following the innkeep out into the yard and clambering up with her case into the back of the cart. It was hardly a very dignified mode of transport for someone of her station, and when Tom said as much while they rumbled out of the inn’s yard, Nel just laughed and said she didn’t mind.

“Anything is better than that awful rolling stagecoach,” she beamed, and swung her legs back and forth like a child off the back of the cart bed while Tom clucked his tongue at the horse to hurry up.

As they trundled up the narrow, cobbled street from the harbour, they passed Edmund Nancarrow standing outside a tailor’s shop, talking with the beast of a man from the bar. Both men looked up and watched her pass like she was some kind of rare spectacle.

In a way, she supposed she was. 

Still, she smiled at them despite her nerves, and Edmund knuckled a non-existent cap at her with a shy smile, while Locryn just glared.

She sighed and wondered what this next chapter in her life would bring.

___

Next chapter ->

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[chrollohearttags]

listen..LISTENNN. I am a sucker for AU’s and especially when they crossover. I feel as if cowboy!reiner and musician!eren would be so stinking cute as relatives and that they would be so hilarious together!

content warning: lots of humor and banter, reiner and eren being clowns, alcohol mention, mentions of divorce and infidelity, angst (if you squint just a smidge)

So country boy reiner and musician Eren are the literal definition of polar opposites. Yin and yang if anyone had ever seen it. Growing up in Northern Jersey with all but a silver spoon in his mouth, Eren was always reserved and only focused on music. He had maybe a handful of friends in his life, who all left by the time he made it to high school. Not that it mattered because he was fairly antisocial anyway. Honestly, that may have been the one thing the two had in common. But unlike Eren, Reiner’s was due more in part to social anxiety and not being an asshole. He actually grew up in southern Georgia; Marietta to be exact. Raised on a huge farm, Reiner was one of the oldest among almost seven children; a mix of cousins and siblings that spend their days raising cattle, competing in 4 H competitions and growing food. Now, the boys’ moms were actually twin sisters and despite the two of them being very different themselves; Carla, an uptown, partying bottle girl turned boy mom that strutted into PTA meetings with her Blahnik handbags and Dior shades. And her sister, Karina; a pie baking, horse riding southern princess that preferred the cattle ranch to the country club. Still, they made it their mission to ensure that their sons had a relationship with one another. So every summer, they would go back and forth, spending a few months with each other. Reiner came into the wealthy suburbs and spent his break at the mall, skating and playing basketball with his cousin. He would show him all the different instruments he had littered around his spacious bedroom. They would then switch off the next year and Eren would come kick it in the sticks with him and the others. Learning to hunt, fish and ride four wheelers. It was a nice time. So naturally, when they got older, they’d keep the relationship going. One day, Eren decides to invite his older cousin down to Miami to meet his wife and vice versa. The four end up going out to dinner and Reiner is really proud of all his cousin’s success; and vice versa. Now, one thing that they did bond over was their love of taking cracks at each other. They would clown one another until one got too mad and then they’d be ready to fight! (all love though) Reiner’s favorite nickname for him was Pavement Princess. Calling him soft and saying that he could not survive his way of life. Eren in turn calls him Country Bumpkin, asking him if he can even read and that he probably catches raccoons with his bare hands like Davy Crockett. (never fails to mock his accent either)

still, the two of them are in his studio one day and Eren’s working on a new song. Something a little different from his usual work and Reiner’s watching him with a beer in his hand and a toothpick dangling at the edge of his teeth. As Eren messes around with his mixing board and synthesizer. “This is witchcraft, Eren. How the hell do you even know what buttons to press to make it sound like that?” He merely shakes his head and laughs, because if only he knew how long it took to master this. “Trust me, dude. It didn’t happen overnight. This shit’s not easy.” Still befuddled by all of this equipment, Reiner just continued sipping his drink and watching the way his cousin flipped a switch here and turned a notch here to cultivate the perfect sound. He respected his craft, that was for sure. But Eren was no stranger to the hard work Reiner did as a farmer. Controlling heavy equipment, overseeing all types of animals and lugging on huge bags of feed and fertilizer all by himself. Hence why he brought him out here for a bit of a break. To enjoy the high life and all it had to offer. Especially after news of his cousin’s impending divorce. Three years with a woman who put him through hell was finally over. “Well I commend you, man. This is crazy.” But there was another reason for this visit as well..

see, besides being a talented farmer, Reiner had one hell of a voice. Often times, the two of them would have little jam sessions that consisted of them trying to outsing the other. Eren, loving the sounds of R&B and pop, opted to belt out renditions of Jon B, Tevin Campbell and Justin Timberlake..as opposed to Reiner, who was akin to Kenny Chesney, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw and anything country. Despite their differences, their shared love of music was one of the few similarities they shared. Reiner was also the only person outside of Carla that supported his career choice. “When you become all big and famous, don’t forget about me and go all Hollywood, alright?”

It was a promise he made sure to maintain so when they both grew up, got married and lived their dreams, they’d reconvene like this every so often. And of course, he didn’t miss a chance to croon a song or two with his favorite cousin. Only this time, Eren wanted to record him.

“Hey, Rei. What you think about hopping on a track with me?” Questioning absentmindedly as he scrolled through his computer screen. And naturally, Reiner looked at him as if he were crazy! He didn’t mind giving a full performance under the sounds of pouring shower waters or the occasional karaoke performance of Chris Stapleton’s Tennessee Whiskey but singing for the rest of the world to hear? Not a chance. His confidence was not on par for that. “I think you’ve lost yer’ goddamn marbles. I’m not messing up your song.” But he was sadly mistaken! He would only be adding to it and helping Eren flex his creative muscles. EJ had just ventured out to starting his own label so he wanted a variety of sounds for his brand.All he had at the moment was a lonely instrumental, in need of the perfect vocals to add to it.

“C’mon, dude. I think you’ll like it. It’ll help you feel better.” “What are you talking about? I’m just fine, Eren.” trying to convince his cousin that this split hadn’t affected him but it was hard to believe with a pile of Budweiser cans in the corner and a mean five o clock shadow forming on his jawline. Staring him up and down, Eren would hand him a pen and paper. “Here, we’re gonna write a song. And don’t tell me you can’t because you’ve done it before.” Earning him a look of utter shock. “You swore you’d never bring that up again, you bastard.” “And you swore you’d shower this morning but I guess we're both some goddamn liars. Get to writing.” He was the only person to know that Reiner had dreams of being a country singer when he was a mere kid but gave it up very quickly when he all but dedicated his life to farming and helping his family. Now, with this fresh start and lease on life, he could do all of the things he put on the back burner. Even if nothing came of it, it would be fun to relive those old times of singing with his cousin in his room. But he looked utterly and genuinely lost. As if he were afraid to put all of those complex feelings and emotions out there, but if there was one piece of advice the tenured artist had for him, it was this:

“Don’t overthink it, dude. Say what’s on your heart and go from there. You got this.” And from there, Reiner felt a bit of relief and began to pin down EXACTLY what he felt. About the wretched woman that broke his heart..from cheating to taking his money. A beach blonde nightmare with abandonment issues and a serious spending problem. Reiner tried as he might to love her wholeheartedly but she drained him emotionally, physically and financially so needless to say, once he began to pen down those thoughts, the lyrics were coming along nicely. And with Eren’s help, of course, they were sure to have their track done in no time. However, when E.J. picked up that notepad and spotted what was written…his eyes stretched wide as quarters. Not because it was horrible; it was the exact opposite!

“Dude…get in the booth right now. We gotta see how this shit sounds.” He was elated! Like a mad scientist completing the final touches on his experiment. He was ready to hear the results of their hard work. So as Reiner entered behind the glass partition and placed the headphones over his ears, he’d instruct him to step forward to the microphone and he’d let him know when he could begin to sing. It was when he’d turn on the music and let it play to the second eight count, did Reiner start crooning and something inside of E.J. just lit up like a firecracker on the Fourth of July. He knew his cousin was talented but this was something else..an entirely different level! His voice, the register and all the notes he was hitting perfectly, Eren was truly in awe! And with the hook he had added, he knew this little venture had been a success. It was out of his normal element and not his particular type of music but it was beautiful! Except….

“Something wrong? What’s tha’ matter with it?”

“The song’s perfect..but it can use a little something. Hold on.”

at that moment, Eren made a very hasty and reluctant decision by picking up his phone and scrolling to a contact he’d hoped he never had to use. Regardless, he’d press the number and hold the phone up on speaker. Folding his arms, he’d sway back and forth in his chair, awaiting an answer. Finally, he was greeted by that of a raspy and quite frankly, sleep ridden voice.

“Hello?”

“Jean, you ugly motherfucker! How ya’ doing today?”

suddenly, Reiner’s eyes went wide from behind the glass window on hearing his cousin’s phone call. Who could’ve possibly been on the other line that he was saying such vulgar things to with a smile on his face. He knew Eren was a total asshole sometimes but that was not how you greeted somebody! However, he’d soon come to learn that the poor mysterious person on the other end was no stranger at all and rather, one of the world’s most famous artists and someone who did his best to match wits with EJ. Little did he know, they stayed at one another’s throats.

“What the fuck do you want, you dumb bastard? I’m busy.”

“Doing what? Besides sitting on your ass.”

but his call wasn’t just to have an intermittent roast session, he had a favor to ask him. Which was ironic considering that he insulted the man every chance he got and the only thing Jean wanted to give him was a black eye. But there wasn’t a single person that he’d want on this track other than the Atelier Kiss star. He’d tell him that he had something he wanted him to hear before pressing play on the fresh recording of the new track. By the time it got to the end, the line had gone silent. But the response to it?

“…I’ll be over in twenty minutes.”

and from there, Eren knew they would have a hit on their hands. So sometime later, when Jean made his way over and he got the two introduced, Reiner was in higher spirits than Eren had seen him in months. Not to mention, their bond strengthened over their shared joking on EJ. Snickering and cackling like two schoolgirls behind the booth. Picking in his ear, Eren would lean over and speak into the intercom. “While you two bastards are giggling, let’s get this song done. I got things to do.” “Shut the hell up. As you can see, I’m talking to my new friend. There’s no way he can be related to you.” Even so, the three would resume their intended business. Jean would instruct Eren to pick up his electric guitar and play along to the tune of the track as they sang. As much as he hated to admit, it was a genius move! And once things were finished…they had their result.

“I don’t know what to say, man. I love it.” Eren breathed a sigh of relief and gave his cousin their signature handshake. He was so floored by the recording that he even called (y/n) into the session. “Princess, you gotta listen to this.” And the two gentlemen began to recite the song all over again for you. Even making you and Eren both dance behind the recording equipment. It was such a good time and your husband looked so happy to have his big cousin around again. It were almost as if no time had passed between them!