howisjoostfanfictionforfree · 12 hours ago
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Twice as Many Shadows | Joost Klein x vampire!reader
Real person fiction!
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CW: 18+, MDNI, RPF, getting roofied, attempted sexual assault, body horror, reference to violence against animals, cannibalism, no smut yet sorry (that’s in part 3 heehee), obligatory club scenes, countless other cliches, please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything
Reader: vampire!reader, female!reader, not descriptive with reader’s appearance but I did give them a bit of personality and a backstory that I hope does not detract from the ability to self insert,,,, yeah I may have gone too hard on backstory
Other notes: Story takes place Fall of 2022,,,,Also big thanks to my irl bestie for his help identifying stray plot bunnies and big thanks to @joosthead for always encouraging me and giving me so much advice over time when it comes to writing! You’re amazing!!!
Word count: ~5,900
Real person fiction! Beware! 👻
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You’ve been so many places over the past few years but Amsterdam is a first. The Netherlands club scene tickles you and Amsterdam is the center of it all. Bouncing from city to city and country to country has kept you sane but this place has you pausing for the first time in what feels like forever. The energy of summer saturated the nightlife when you arrived and parties raged until the dawn. Festival season was loud and unignorable but even the mainstay clubs and bars were full to bursting for months on end. Anywhere a body could fit there was a party to accommodate. Even now as long warm nights turn crisper and darker as summer turns to autumn, the Dutch party on and you find yourself carried away by the momentum they never seem to lose.
It’s easy to stay. Maybe it's just been long enough since you started all this that you feel like you can breathe normally. Maybe you're just far enough away. Maybe it really is just something about Amsterdam. You’re growing attached to this place. You dread the day you will have to leave.
He catches your eye at the club. You notice him first, of course. Can hear him from clear across the room despite the bone-rattling music and a hundred other people. It’s a Friday night and you itch to be among the crowd. Close enough to feel like one of them and share in their moment. You wish it were yours. You will make it yours too, just like always. 
Something about the exact way he looks and the exact way he speaks to his group of friends is so striking you couldn't ignore him if you tried. He jokes with an open affection that just shouldn't be possible in words chosen so crass and shouted so loud. Never have you heard ‘cancer dick’ sound like an endearment. 
He is so yellow and pink and blue. Your new three favorite colors. Golden hair almost luminescent under the black lights. Cheeks as pink as his flashy jacket. Eyes bluer than the toxic looking drink in his hand.
You couldn't say whether or not he is conventionally handsome. The sight of him immediately fills a space in your brain you didn't know existed like a lock and key and bowls over your pre-existing notions of the word. Every part of his face fits in perfect proportion to the rest in a way you have never seen and it has you floored. There's nothing unusual about it, nothing you can put your finger on, just something absolutely entrancing. 
He isn't just beautiful either. That perfect face is radiating an attitude like no one else in the room. No one else looks as happy, as carefree, as genuinely joyous. You can hear it in his words, how he dances like he doesn't care who is watching. You can tell he doesn't. 
How long has it been since you felt such strong attraction? It makes you stupidly nostalgic for how simple things like this might have been when you were human. You could have flirted with him, danced with him, maybe even taken him home, gotten his number in the morning. Now, he is everything you want, everything you want to be, and most definitely everything you can't have. 
Not like that at least. He wouldn't have you. 
He catches your gaze from across the floor. Yeah, you probably are staring aren’t you. But you don’t look away. One perk of your creature status is a much increased ability to not give a fuck. Even when you really really should. His eyes rove over you and his face breaks into what you would call a smirk. 
You want to see it fall as you bite a chunk out of him. 
Okay, time to leave. Better get out of here before you do something weird. Turning away, you weave through the crowd. You feel his eyes on you the whole way out.
Literally. Vampires can do that. 
The itch of his gaze evaporates as you step out the door and reach for a cigarette. Disgusting but necessary. Perfect for blotting out all the people-smells that you’re suddenly having a harder time than usual ignoring. The first drag is fucking toxic but it’s immediately easier not to focus on the cocktail of male sex hormones the club atmosphere provided. You wonder which are his of the dozens dancing on your tongue. 
The overlap between sexual attraction and the urge to hold someone between your jaws still surprises you sometimes. Of course it isn’t always about sex. You could want to eat someone you hated just as bad. Most often it’s a complete stranger. It’s like squares and rectangles. You might not think about fucking someone every time you need blood, but every time you do want to fuck, you also want to sink your teeth in. 
If you’re being honest though, this observation is based on fairly brief encounters with fairly drunk men. In reality, you haven’t gotten any in a while. Years in fact. Literal monster behavior seems to be a bit of a turn off for most men and sexy encounters always end the moment you get a good few gulps in and their struggling makes you start to feel guilty. 
You sigh. This is far from the first time you’ve wondered at this particular predicament. Why can’t a girl get some?
You flick the butt to the ground and grind it out with your heel. It’s about time to head home. You came out to have fun and you don’t actually need to feed right now. Even if you did, it would probably go poorly given the mood you’re in. 
You don’t have the archetypical problem of killing people when you feed, not that you’ve never killed anyone, but the trauma level for whichever poor person you choose on a given night can vary greatly depending on your state of mind and right now you’re feeling a little worked up. It might be more bloody than usual. 
Ideally, it’s always drunk people you feed on, as fucked up as that sounds, in the end they usually remember less. That or sleeping people.
God. So much noncon. 
But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Blood banks actually ask a lot of questions and you’ve never felt like trying to intimidate a doctor into faking a condition for you, too afraid of catching their interest and becoming a science experiment. There just aren’t any other vampires you have met yet that could point you in a helpful direction. You never even got to know the vampire that turned you. 
The exact circumstances of your metamorphosis were actually a bit of a mystery. You had no memory of being bitten. One night you came-to in the middle of the street, blocks away from where you should have been, shoulder bloody, and within the hour you were crawling out of your skin as you transformed. 
Outwardly, you looked no different, but that night your senses shifted and heightened and your bones and muscle tore apart and regrew stronger in far too short a time. 
It was a good thing you had been alone. You had been with your friends before. It was a girls night out catching the newest Spiderman in theaters.
Sitting there on the pavement, blood seeping into your shirt, you knew there was something off and you stumbled home without finding them. 
When you arrived you realized you were more than just in shock. It hurt. Everything hurt. You should have gone to the hospital. But how could you have known? It came on fast. By the time you knew there was something really wrong, you were too weak to make it anywhere in your agony. Too weak to even make it to your phone in your coat pocket hanging on the door. 
In the end, you are glad no one got to witness what happened. What you are sure would have been beyond explanation. The sight of your own flesh writhing under your skin is unforgettable. The tiles of the kitchen floor where you collapsed took days to clean. 
The only thing that kept you from totally freaking out in the moments afterward was the insane thought that maybe you had become Spiderman. As stupid as that sounds. Not that you were a hero or anything. That much was clear from the beginning when you stumbled outside to rip into the dog in the yard across the street after realizing you could hear your neighbors through the wall and it was making your mouth water. 
Dogs are disgusting. At least it didn’t die. 
You still watch Spiderman now and then on the days you're feeling a tad existential. Honestly, you wish you could be Spiderman. You don’t really know what you are. Your heart still beats and you definitely don't sparkle, but your canines are extendable and people really do look delicious sometimes. You feel the need to feed on people but no one you've ever fed on has turned. You checked. It would be nice if whoever bit you had stuck around to talk it out. In the end, vampire just seemed like the best word for it. 
Never mind the flesh eating part. 
What were you saying? Oh yeah, if you try and find someone drunk enough to not notice a little bite right now, you might accidentally decapitate them. A slight exaggeration, but still. 
The worn cobblestones glitter under the amber streetlights as you make your way down the street towards the tram stop. The breeze carries a real hint of chill now, letting go of the last traces of your favorite summer since you started all this. The shadows on the water are deeper than you remember ever seeing them. They creep up over the edges of the canals to fill the street and obscure the alley you turn down. 
You make it only a few feet before a group of guys round the opposite corner and take up the entire width of the passage. Even with the knowledge that they would ultimately move to the side, you don’t want to deal with the urges they might inspire in such a tight space. Not right now. Somehow you’re only feeling more and more keyed up.
Making a quick decision, you turn around to head back the way you came. The thumping of the bass becomes detectable as you near the club again, rattling you physically to match your internal agitation. 
You round the corner to try going up the other street this time and collide harshly with the exact person you had been looking to get away from. 
What was even the point of being a vampire if you couldn’t avoid clumsy moments like these?
 You take a step back as you raise your hands up slightly in a placating gesture. 
“Het spijt me,” you say trying to dodge around him quickly as his scent absolutely floods your senses. 
Fuck, he smells good. 
The general mixed smells of horny male in the club had been enough when looking at him before, but here and now, you realize you are in real trouble. The way he smells itches something deep in you. You want to fuck him. You also want to bite him. Hard.
Go now. Leave.
He spins as if to follow you as you skirt around him. 
“No problem! Hey I saw you earlier, are you leaving already?” He says in perfect English. He must think you’re a tourist. Technically, you kind of are. 
“Is my accent that bad?” you say, pausing in step to look at him. 
What the fuck are you thinking. You need to go right now. 
He grins. ”Haha, yes a little.” 
You can’t help yourself. You can tell he’s teasing. He was charming before from all the way across the room and he’s just as charming right now. All blond fluff and cheekbones and effortless charisma. You turn to face him fully.
“Well, yeah, I think I’m done for the night,” you say carefully. 
He leans in a little, opens his mouth to say something else, but stops dead when he sees what must be your eyes turning pitch black. 
You feel the subtle tug as it happens. The proximity to something so fucking potent as he leans forward pushes you over an edge you didnt even know was there. You’re literally engaging night vision like you’re going to hunt him or something. Ridiculous. You haven't had this problem in years. 
“Fuck!” he stumbles back. “Your eyes! A-Are you…….What!?” 
You’re still just standing there and you can tell he doesn’t know what to say. For as much as pop culture loves the supernatural, no one is ever actually prepared to encounter it. You can tell he isn’t drunk enough to forget what he’s seeing right now but once again you don’t care like you probably should.
You allow your gaze to flit from his shocked stare down to his lips and then, after a moment, to his throat. When you look up again, it’s obvious he’s blushing. His eyes have become so dark they could rival your own if it weren't for the sclera.
Less than a second later, the smell of his arousal hits you.
What the fuck?
It stirs you more intensely than you thought possible and you know it's now or never. Leave or absolutely traumatize this beautiful stranger. 
You summon all your willpower and turn tail and run. You don’t even try to conceal your speed. It's dark enough and the risk has to be taken if you stand any chance of getting far enough away to save the situation by the time that willpower runs out. 
Besides, he’s already seen you. 
By the time you reach your street you’re panting. God, that was like four kilometers. Whatever fresh Twilight bullshit that says vampires never run out of stamina is just wrong. You may have done it in a nice neat ten minutes but still, that was rough. The burning in your chest has you feeling decidedly less sexy and you walk the rest of the way home. 
Home was a small apartment you had found on the edge of the city where you could afford to not have a roommate and the landlady let you pay month by month instead of signing on for a whole year. It was always hard finding places like that. In the few months you had been there not one of your neighbors was especially loud or smelly or nosey and you counted it a lucky find. 
It was a perfect spot really, and you were glad it was within your budget. You had been working remote for the duration of your worldly travels. Even if things got tight sometimes, it was a good enough paying job and you wouldn't trade it for anything since it allowed you to move around when you wanted. After your great murderous fuck-up, you had found it was very soothing to be out of country, even if you were sure no one was onto you. 
It would be pretty hard to pin anything on you with no body.
As far as you know, the poor guy is still considered missing. Well, you say ‘poor guy,’ but the guy was kind of an asshole. You had never been drugged before, but you could tell for him it was a practiced routine. The night started at the bar at the local theater. Not a place you had thought to be on your guard. 
You were there with a few friends in full costume to catch this month's performance of Rocky Horror. It was intermission and you were all milling about refilling drinks and stretching your legs and fighting to fit as many people at once into the lone photo booth in the corner. The bar was small and you did not expect to stop there for longer than it took to get a new beer. 
He came up next to you, too close from the get-go considering there was no one else standing there, and made conversation while he had you captive waiting for your drink. He wasn’t from around there, was visiting he said, and wanted to know what people do for fun. You could tell he really meant he wanted to know what fun he could have with you. As forward as he was, it wasn't unusually pushy and you were ultimately unbothered when you broke away to find your friends. You never even saw how he managed to dose you. 
You never found your friends.
You don’t even remember how you made it to his car. 
One minute you were walking back to your seat and the next, you were outside. It was cold. Someone was carrying you bridal style. You were pretty out of it for a good minute. Not sure how long exactly, but long enough that when you started processing things again, you were pulling up by the side of the road near a cow pasture. He clearly thought you were still out of it because he removed his hand from your thigh, cut the engine, and got out to go around to open your door without a word. 
God knows what he had in mind for you that night, but you never found out because as it happens, he was right, you were still kind of out of it. Not like he had intended, your metabolism already working through a dose surely meant to incapacitate, but you were still loopy enough that logic was miles away and a cold and creeping dread began to fill you as you realized your situation. The inability to think clearly, though it was getting better with each second, was only more agitating. 
It didn't even occur to you at the time that he stood no chance, that this was all ridiculous. You had been different for too short a time back then. He was a threat, and one way or another you were about to respond. 
He opened your door. 
You had never felt the kind of fear-panic-rage before that you did in that moment. 
You were up in a flash as soon as he opened it wide enough and dragged him with you into the field. Your strength was unexpected and his last words were no more than a surprised shout before you ripped his throat out and drank. Each time he thrashed, the panic fought to overwhelm you and you drank faster to quiet him. He couldn't hurt you if you made him stop moving. 
When he ran dry, the panic-rage still burned and it seemed only natural to take a bite. A real bite. You had to make sure he stopped. 
So you did. 
And then another bite. 
And another and another and before you knew it, he had no head. 
Then, he had no arm and then soon, he only had a leg. 
The only thing you didn’t eat was his clothes. 
When light started to creep over the horizon, you finally came out of your state. You felt both calm and horrified. The threat was gone, but you also didn’t know you could do that. Where did it all go? Forget the size of your stomach, your entire body couldn’t have fit his inside of it. 
It was a little startling at the time. 
You burned his clothes and drove his car to the bottom of a lake. It might have been enough, probably was, but after that you didn’t stick around long to find out.
All this was to say that you enjoyed where you were now. It had been a good couple of years and you were now only vaguely disturbed about your latent abilities. You had even gotten back to the point where you were going back to bars and clubs again! There was a time when you stayed away after that. You had been slow to return to enjoying nightlife, but Berlin had done wonders in that department and Amsterdam only solidified it. There was something about the Dutch brand of party that made you feel alive.
Tonight put a slight damper on that feeling of progress though. You’re not sure what you would have done to that guy if you hadn't left that very second. Even if the situation was entirely different, it was the first time since that disastrous night that you had felt so out of control. You can’t say you felt particularly murderous but you did want to hurt him in ways that make you blush a little now as you trudge up the steps to your door and wrestle with your keys. 
Ugh. You can never repeat that night. 
You will have self control. 
You do have self control. 
Mostly. 
You should just calm down already. As you bolt the door and slip off your shoes, you resolve to make tea and forget about it. Besides, you didn’t really do anything and no one will ever believe him. 
The next day finds you completely normal and you spend your time working. You had a good night's sleep all things considered. It’s such a good thing that vampires can sleep. Sure, maybe you would get more done if you didn’t, but honestly you think you would go crazy. You love your comfy little nest and you love turning your brain off. It needed to be turned off after that encounter. 
By next week, the entire thing is forgotten (filthy lie) and you feel like it is high time for another visit to the club. Boredom is killer and you can't resist anyways. Last time was surely a one-off. You do yourself up and make your way downtown. 
The street lights reflect off the water and the countless neon signs of bars and restaurants give the streets an ethereal glow despite the shadows, deep as ever. The pounding bass spills out the door of every club you pass and the carefree Friday night energy of every person wandering the streets is tangible. 
Amsterdam is so awesome. 
You purposefully choose a new spot you found on Instagram, hoping to avoid running into him again. You’ve never been big on social media, but ever since your life took you on the road it became critical to your navigation of the world. It took some getting used to, especially with no one in your life to ask more than superficial questions, but you figured it out. 
It still startles you occasionally just how non tech-savvy you can be. It’s not usually an issue but when you forget how to convert file types or struggle to navigate online forums you can't deny you’re a little behind the curve. Honestly, you might as well be a vampire from the 17th century not the 21st. One hidden away in a decaying manor far from modern technology. 
An exaggeration, but it really feels that way sometimes. 
You often pat yourself on the back for learning how to use the software necessary to do your job. Your career hadn’t required it of you before and it was only due to the fuckass pandemic that it had become an option. Now that you had the tech down it was very convenient to be able to do your job virtually. That had been one of your biggest concerns in the beginning. How were you gonna fund your life on the run if you had to constantly search for new employment? 
When you get to the club it is delightfully similar to the photos and you spend your evening rotating between dancing your ass off and people-watching from the side when the smells and jostling get a little too exciting.
Yes, the club is exciting. The right amount this time around. You feel like a real young adult. You give yourself another pat on the back for your foray into normalcy.
It’s a smaller club on Lange Leidsedwarsstraat. By no means tucked away, but far enough from Leidseplein main square that there are far fewer tourists. The ice is starting to melt in your drink. You can’t be bothered with it when there is so much to look at.
There can't be more than fifty people crammed in this tiny renovated warehouse but they manage to sport a variety of fashion and dance styles. Inevitably, you spot hakken amongst them. The tangle of decks and mixers on the small raised stage is huge and the lone DJ operating it all is lit up in alternating colors as lights strobe from behind to scatter over the crowd.
You work your way out of the corner and back onto the dance floor again. The upbeat song playing now hits just the right vibe for how you’re feeling. 
Doe de Fryslân bop
Wist je niet dat ik van Fryslân kom?
Dude, doe de Fryslân bop
Blaas het op als een fietsbandpomp
You bop along for a minute as the song demands and notice a group of several people shouting along much louder than everyone else. They seem to know every word. One of them facing away from you turns in place as he dances and suddenly you’re locking eyes with the exact same guy. 
Jesus Christ, what are the odds. 
Well, maybe not terrible odds if you consider he’s probably a local. 
But still. Goddammit. 
His face instantly lights up and it would be kind of cute if you weren’t panicking. Those baby blues pack a punch. What happened to not giving a fuck? Before you can move a single muscle to make your retreat, he is surging towards you through the crowd and  o h   s h i t   you did not expect that. You thought he’d be running too. Even if he had been surprisingly horny in the face of inhuman eyes, you figured the freakish speed there at the end would have been enough to spook him.
Shocked, you fail to stop him from grabbing your wrist like he can tell you’re gonna make a break for it again. Vampire reflexes who? You open your mouth to protest but before you can say anything he leans in and bites your shoulder.  
What.
WHAT?
You realize you’re shouting it as he pulls away laughing. 
“Fancy seeing you here!” He is way too happy.
“You bit me!”
“Are you gonna bite me back?” 
“What!?”
“C’mon, I know you want to.” The way he waggles his eyebrows should not be attractive. It is.
“Excuse me?!”
“I’ve watched enough tv to know a bloodsucker when I see one.” He looks stupidly smug.
“Yeah, tv. You should probably stop watching so much.”
“Your eyes were beautiful y’know.” You feel your own heart stutter.
“I think you had too much to drink.”
“Please, that was not drunk at all, you should have seen how we ended the night!”
“Yeah, you definitely were. But you’re joking, right? You should know most girls aren’t into roleplay right off the bat.” Maybe you can embarrass him into leaving you be. 
He scoffs and brings his other hand to the back of your head so he can pull you in as he leans down to whisper in your ear. 
“Why did you run?”
You can tell he’s deliberately holding your face close to his throat and god damn him, you know what he is trying to achieve and it works. This close to the source, the other smells of the club can’t run interference. His presence is just as overwhelming as the first time and the smell of his skin and the thump of his heart is so close now you can’t help your reaction once again.
You feel the familiar tug behind your eyes and the shadows of the room start to melt away. The little silver chain sitting against his clavicles snaps into perfect definition. He pulls away to gauge your reaction, the sly motherfucker, but his grin melts into stupefied wonder when he sees exactly what he had hoped for. 
“There it is.” He whispers. His heart is beating harder than ever and his scent rushes forward to envelop you even though you are no longer pressed to his neck. He smells like adrenaline. He smells like arousal.
You pout as he drinks you in. He pulled a fast one on you. 
Realizing he’s still holding your wrist, you flex in warning. He grips tighter like he’s afraid to let you go.
“C’mon, I’m not gonna go around gathering a mob with torches and pitchforks, what’s the big deal?”
You hold his gaze. You remember very well what the big deal is. What you are capable of when emotions are this high. He has you feeling something, alright. But, you have to admit, even though everything about his presence is sending you into the stratosphere, it is nothing like that night. This feeling, albeit intense, is a good one. 
When was the last time someone talked to you like this? After seeing what you were? Never. Maybe you overreacted before. Maybe you can control yourself. As much as you want to rip into his shoulder you're not doing it. You‘re enjoying looking at him too much. He really is beautiful. Right now it doesn't feel like you're in danger of a big deal 2.0. Just maybe something equally stupid.
“You know I’ll have to kill you if you out me right?” You look over at the rest of his group where they are still dancing. 
His eyes widen at your indirect confirmation- you are a vampire. His grip becomes stiff and you finally get a whiff of fear. Good. Even if you’re lying, he should know who he’s dealing with. 
He stutters a bit, “I-I told some of my friends I saw something crazy, but they don’t believe me I swear! They just think I was drunk! Like you said!” 
God, he’s outing himself already. He’s so lucky you’re not actually evil. You just laugh and begin swaying to the beat again. You break his hold on your wrist effortlessly now, just a hint of real strength, so you can grab his hand instead. 
“Don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Dance with me?”
Even in the low lighting of the club, you can tell with your shifted vision how hard he’s blushing. In spite of his fear, he smells like he’s ready to fuck you pregnant. 
God, he’s a freak. 
You love it.
He acquiesces after a stunned moment and begins to bounce along with you. After a minute, you see him start mouthing the lyrics and it strikes you again how well he seems to know them. 
“A favorite of yours?” you say. 
”I wrote it!” he exclaims, leaning in. “You like?” 
“Did you really?” You are genuinely skeptical.
He scoffs. “I did! I am huge Netherlands artiest, don’t you know Joost Klein? Also, I know the DJ so he plays my stuff.” You hear humor in his voice but you don’t know what part is a joke.
Joost Klein. Huh. You have never heard that name in your life.
“Wow, I feel so lucky to meet a celebrity.” You bat your eyes at him.
He clocks your bullshit immediately.
“Really! I can show you my stuff! Come to my studio and I’ll show you what I’m working on!” 
You smirk. You are really dancing quite closely now. 
“Wow I dunno, I never usually let boys show me their stuff on the first date.”
He chokes out a laugh “So this is a date huh?” his hands are on your waist now.
“I don’t know yet” You say. “Dance with me some more.” 
Because you are insane, you turn around and lean up against him. The music is a little slower and heavier now than the alt-pop rap playing before. Joost gets the message immediately and soon you’re grinding to the beat. Already, you can feel his bulge against your ass.
You let yourself get lost in the rhythm of the music and the feeling of him against you. It's easy to lose time when his scent and his touch surround you like this. You could almost forget the itch in your canines. 
His head bows and his lips skim your shoulder where he bit you. What a strange sensation. A role reversal. You still can't believe he did that. For a minute, you feel strikingly human. You arch up into him and let your head fall back against his chest. His lips move up to your ear and he asks, “Can I have your number?” You twist yourself back around to face him. 
It’s getting harder not to just kiss him. 
You maintain eye contact for a minute, his gaze searching yours. Without breaking the stare-down, you reach into his pocket oh-so-slowly and pull out his phone, offering it to him. He is starting to look a little crazed but he breaks the eye contact to look down and open it for you. You punch in your number when he turns it to you and slide it back into his pocket, just as slowly. 
Hooking a finger into his belt loop, you look up at him under your lashes. Joost looks like he doesn’t know whether to fuck you now or fuck you later. If he can wait to get you home. You don’t let him deliberate. 
Leaning up, you ghost your lips over his. “See you soon.” 
And with all the stupid supernatural guile you can muster, you sink backwards into the crowd and disappear. The last glimpse you catch of his face is one of outrage. 
You laugh all the way down the street. 
A side street without lamps lends the shadows you need for cover as you give it just a bit of a speed boost in case he gets the idea to go looking for you again. Lord knows you’ve bumped into him enough times now that he might think to try it. 
You aren’t even to the end of the street before you get a text.
         +31 06 5337496:  y r u so mean to me ( ー̀εー́ )
         +31 06 5337496:  when will you come to my
studio? ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡
You're still not sure what he really means by studio. Maybe it was a joke for his apartment. A studio apartment? Or maybe he really does make music. That would be fun. Not that you know much about Dutch music. Or Dutch. You sigh. It’s a process. 
You save his number and write back.
          cap
          I am not mean
          had to get out of there before you turned full                 
          bloodsucker on me biting my shoulder like that
          Tuesday? 
The dot-dot-dot pops up and goes away no less than seven times before he finally replies.
          Joost:  (/>w<)/ yayyyy can’t wait!!
          Joost:  meet me at 16 Schimmelstraat at 14:00    
                       :333
You can't help but snort at the way he texts. Definitely a funny guy. You have such good taste. 
It took him quite a while to respond compared to the speed at which he first texted you. You might be technologically illiterate, but even you know that means Joost had to think about something a little harder. He does seem to get flustered by everything vampiric. Oh this was going to be so much fun. On the other hand, Joost might just be a slow texter. 
You know where you would place your bet. 
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Thank you so much for reading!! Sorry for the atrocious amount of backstory. I didn't realize what I’d done until it was too late (and I didn’t want to rewrite). I promise the next one will be more Joost-centric interaction and less boring exposition. Btw this series will include smut! Yay!
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sudamaniparva · 1 year ago
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this is a weird entry, but i think Mon Mothma and her daughter Leida are the best metaphor for the indian mainland vs diaspora children divide. for this metaphor to work, i'll be simplifying quite a bit and i know that all people are not like this.
Mainlanders tend to be a lot like Mon Mothma. there's an awareness for the horrors committed by the culture, all the unsavory aspects are alive and well. while the good of the culture is present, it's shadowed by the knowledge that real human abuses are being perpetrated. your understanding of culture is a lot more balanced, and people who chose to support it mostly do so from a reformist point of view.
diaspora children act a lot like Mon Mothma's daughter. diaspora tend to be isolated and mocked for their beliefs, and just generally are isolated from the culture. the loneliness that comes from that causes people to double down on their beliefs, and cling to everything. the bad is brushed aside as you fight against the pressure to assimilate to the dominant hegemony. as a result, diaspora do often have more conservative points of view about the native culture.
and thus, the clash is born.
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sleepy-grav3 · 4 months ago
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We Became Heroes Because You Didn't
The Justice League don't specialize in much. If you ask them, they'd say otherwise. Unless they're one of the Bats, because they acknowledge that, especially with magic. They hate it, but they have connections and will at least ask for more details to deal with the situation at hand. Though they'll need proof.
That's the thing really. Proof. Because how are you going to get proof of something if everything gets repaired by the end? Or maybe you're the villain here according to the public. Or maybe everything you say is just plain crazy that nobody even knows what's going on from the start!
It was only when another group was formed when everything became clear. They were frowned upon, unknown, spoke nonsense, and never asked for help. They were the survivors that played hero. They were the shadowed version of the Justice League.
They were Justice League: Dark
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A fanfic (or multiple small ones grouped together?) that isn't really about them joining forces, but more about the discovery of more dangerous territory that's being handled by kids/teens. Lift some weight for these kids. They really want a safe net by now in their hero careers.
Like- maybe a few of these wouldn't be the JL's fault. Maybe it was the government (at least for the US). Like Danny Phantom and Gravity Falls mentions the government, maybe they blocked off those regions from outside connections.
I feel like it would be funny if maybe Constantine just ends up collecting kids like Batman with his.
They're just kids! Itty bitty toddlers. It's supposed to be our job to take care o' that shit, ain't it?
And JLD now has a bunch of young professionals cause what the fuck, kid. Why do you know this??? Ya know? Maybe the JL just randomly finds these things, calls Constantine after Zatanna fails to know wtf is going on, and he just calls over a kid. Or a group of them.
JL: We need a professional, why is there a child here?
Constantine: Cause even when you fuckers ignored their calls for help, they still at least try to help where they can
JL: We never-
Constantine: Shut your traps! School's in session
*Child tries to explain*
JL: You have to be kidding me. ___ doesn't exist.
Constantine: Oh bloody hell-
Child: And they wonder why they get more attention than us.
idk, I just like the idea of Constantine being a father for OP characters and desperately want a Young Justice League: Dark. I read a couple of Danny and/or Billy being adopted by him, but the cravings... And if it's a whole big crossover thing, that would be great. Tag me if you see or write about something like this. I wanna read too :)
Don't put too much hope in me writing it though, I'm seriously bad at continuing/finishing stuff. But if I do, I'll edit this post with links to whatever I write.
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jojojooo33 · 2 months ago
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FMA 03's medical technology is kind of vague, so sometimes I wonder exactly how advanced it is. They have things like automail, shots for food poisoning, and medicine that helps with... internal bleeding? Whatever Izumi has going on... her whole condition is kind of a big question mark. Idk if she lost ALL of the organs in her lower abdomen including bladder and colon OR if Sig just meant the uterus + ovaries and was just weird about saying it (she does throw up blood so it might be the former! I guess sepsis doesn't exist in this universe. Or the blood is just there to convey that there's something wrong and isn't meant to be taken literally idk). The existence of automail makes me think that they probably have other surgical technology? But if they do it either isn't that advanced or Izumi doesn't have access to it/know about it/has some aversion to it for whatever reason. Orrr if I'm going more into headcanon territory, maybe she did get reparative surgery but experiences complications.
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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prettyboykatsuki · 10 months ago
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i have many many many critiques about wylls story, most of them being about the fact it's just so lackluster in game when compared to other companions which is a shame. because wyll to me is and has the potential to be an even more emotionally compelling companion. and he was early access!! he was so gritty in ea please bring him back larian i beg of thee. the way he was rewritten has stripped him of so much nuance and depth. wyll to me is such a wonderful character to me because of what he represents, which is heroism so down to his core he never gives up on it even when he ought to
his goodwill and nobility are ceaseless. at the center of his story is betrayal trauma, his agency over himself vanished into thin air. mizora turns him into a monster and there is no turning back. he has become the thing he's despised, the things he's hunted for his entire life. and we know so little about that canonically because of the way his story is set up but its hinted time and time again that he struggles with his reality deeply and even that cannot make him turn away from the city he loves so much.
if larian would go back to clean up and fix his story (which im truly praying to god they do) i want them to touch on what wyll must be going through as he continues to try to ground himself and deal with his newfound reality. i want them to touch on the abandonment he experiences because of his father and the inevitable burden his title as blade and hero has on him. because these things obviously compel him, they're hinted at all the time but they were completely stripped of him in final release and its fucking disheartening... larian please im begging you. thats the love of my life. please.
but for now i will do it with fanfiction and gather enough wyll fans to make a fuss about it . peace and love
#aristotle.txt#wyll ravengard#bg3#i love wyll so desperately. which makes sense as a deku lover certainly.#but i love him even more because his story is narratively interesting#here is a classically heroic noble making a devils pact to save his city#who is only rewarded for doing this by being banished from the city hes sworn to protect. by his father no less.#he spends seven years away from home and makes a name for himself as a fucking folk hero#he never returns. he doesn't explain himself. he decides that the least he can do is give his life to the sword coast#and then wyll meets karlach. a devil hes supposed to kill except shes not#and because wyll is wyll and because what matters to him most are his beliefs he is easily convinced to not kill karlach. he doesnt want to#kill karlach. so he doesn't. and he pays the price for it. his entire existence is uprooted and he is turned permanently into a partial#devil#hes become his own prey. he spends the game clearly sorrowful in the mourning process. and the game just refuses to touch on this set up#as a WRITER it boggles my mind why wyll does not get that attention from larian because the concept of a hero balancing the weight of his#own pain and sorrow against his beliefs is moving. being able to open up that path with tav narratively that allows wyll to be#selfish and heartbroken. to not be blade or sword. just wyll. what a beautifully interesting storyline would that have made#i have delusion in my heart. i hope they fix it. i want them to fix it so badly because i fucking adore wyll in every way.#and i want the game to represent who he is as much as i feel for him. he is an origin companion and deserves it.#bg3 spoilers
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ardate · 8 months ago
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Things are just so bleak man.
#vent#just me rambling#SO many fucking things#first off and maybe the least bad of all#that one studio that contacted me for a feature film turned me down ultimately#i WANT so dearly to work on features. it's what i want to do. but nobody will give me a chance#because they all want experience on features to work on features. well how do you guys think this works#i'm so tired of it and discouraged#but ultimately that's the least of the issues because#my usual studio is going under. they been struggling financially for years and the CEO did a special meeting to say it#they're lowering activity (one friday every two weeks is off to try and save money) and have 6 months to get back on their feet#which is nothing. they can't find producers willing to dump money in the studio in 6 months esp with ENOUGH to pull it out of the gutter#if they're not better off in 6 months the CEO said ''then ill get back to you with terrible news'' and didn't detail but we know. we know#it's basically said and done in my mind. my main studio as big as it was is crashing down. and idk what ill do.#i bought a flat in this city due to this studio being there- without it this place has no more work to offer me. empty city#job security doesn't exist anymore#and we all know why. producers are much more squeamish about investing in animation because ai is here#why would you give money to allow hundreds of workers to live and pour passion in projects when you can pay a pathetic percentage of that#with midjourney or whatever the shit and get an easy cheap show. rack in more money for smaller an investment#and tumblr is going down that route too. can't get a fucking break anywhere#i'm heartbroken and grieving the world we lost#in a bunch of years looking at art while 100% knowing a person made it with intent will be a memory#being able to not even think about it is already out of our hands#ai 'art' will be everywhere and it will become a new normal. and i'm just.. man.#the world feels so empty already
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bishonenspit · 1 year ago
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international eroica fans are some of the most ungrateful fans of anything i have ever encountered i stg
#i swear to god the amount of unnecessary complaint... got an official english translation of the manga#people complain about that. gets cancelled. like the fucking audacity first of all like.#oh yes your translation that puts slurs where they just aren't in the original is much better.#not that the cmx version is much better for that but. the original fan translation (NOT referring to the current tl done by the active team)#is truly just not good in spots i cannot believe there are people who are like “it's superior” like frankly up until recently#nothing we had was high quality LMFAO we have been struggle bus city since the beginning but at least cmx EXISTED. at least it HAPPENED.#and now people are complaining about the stage which like don't even get me fucking started on how bad that pisses me the fuck off#like tell me you know fucking nothing about 2.5d without telling me. truly what are your complaints besides you don't like how it looks.#have you watched any other 2.5d stage. and i mean 2.5D!!!! NOT just any Japanese theatre production that shit is DIFFERENT.#2.5d is an entirely separate entity and always has been#there's overlap with other things but it still exists within its own category. don't complain if you don't fucking understand how it works#2.5d stages always start off with lower budget. literally 90% of stages in that category have a first stage that just looks not great lmao#the budget is very dependent on fan support. if you want more and you want it to look better you support it.#japanese theatre doesn't HAVE that massive budget that western productions has so any time your fave thing gets a stage#you either feel blessed and appreciate it or you don't watch period lmao it's just etiquette. entitled to your own opinions of course but#i wish people knew the culture surrounding the stages and how they work before they complain and complain and complain#エロイカステ (don't want it to pop up in the actual tag sorry) had an insanely short run as well#which reads very much test run in terms of 2.5d. testing the waters i mean to see if there was interest. which there WAS#just not from fucking foreign fans besides a few bc HALF OF THEM JUST BITCH AND WHINE#sorry for massive tag ramble but i have such a soft spot for this stage and 2.5d in general and i hate to see ppl being bitchy abt it#if people complain too loudly and they never do another one i promise ill never forgive anyone i stg#if anyone is actually reading this and wants to pick my brain for further elaboration please feel free my ask box is open but. anyways.
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago
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How do you think queer relationships are treated in canon kotlc? I think maybe less stigma than bad matches but that’s it. It might never be addressed, maybe because the matching system was written to be bad but also maybe accidentally written it as homophobic.
I think I agree with your assessment, and I also don't expect it to be addressed. My hopes are rather low when it comes to queer acknowledgement in the series, but that's a different thing.
My reasoning for the "stigmatized but not as bad as bad matches" status is that you gotta go to the root of why bad matches are bad. So then you gotta look at what makes a match good.
The match office has the words "Progress, Prosperity, Permanence, and Proliferation" above it, which gives us some insight. The elves are concerned with genetics and genetic purity, and bad matches disrupt that. Those that are talentless or bad matches are lesser genetically and have lesser kids.
In that case, queer relationships (this does not encompass all queer relationships) would be somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, these queer relationships aren't supporting proliferation of their species, they aren't having the genetically pure kids they aim for. However, the same could be said of non-queer couples that choose not to have children. And even if those in queer relationships were considered lesser, they wouldn't be continuing their genetic lineage, wouldn't be having genetically lesser kids, and therefore would avoid some of the criticism bad matches get.
I imagine that queer relationships that can be interpreted as straight in whatever capacity would be treated as though they are, in fact, straight. Their queerness would be ignored, and if they go on to have children, they would act as though that proved their "normalcy" (in quotes because straight isn't more normal than queerness).
I believe that any queer relationship within the system people would turn a blind eye to, essentially. If you're a couple keeping to yourselves without offspring, then we don't have to worry about you and can look the other way. If you're a couple that can pass as their version of "normal," then they can ignore everything else going on with you.
So not supportive, but not outright hostile either. At least based on my understanding of the worldbuilding. Also I'm well aware that my word choice and explanations fall well short of the complexity of queerness; it's not a topic that can be easily encompassed in so short a post, so please be lenient with me :)
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inkskinned · 10 months ago
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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cityofduluthmn · 8 months ago
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The abhorrent state of public transit in Metro Detroit has me in an unnecessarily bad state of mind right now.
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wild-at-mind · 9 months ago
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A weird thing I've noticed as someone living in England is how often people also living in England seem convinced their lives will improve massively if they just move to Wales or Scotland. Or sometimes further afield.
#grass is greener i guess#my trans man role model who i have on fb is leaving for wales quite soon- he says it's because its cheaper to live#but specifically there are many places in england that are cheaper to live than the general area we are#the move out of england specifically was talked about like a big plus point#also my best friends as a teenager talked all the time about hating the country and wanting to leave but not for any stated reasons#in those cases they had both had shitty things happen to them growing up so it may have been as like a clean slate/fresh start#they never did it but i didn't understand the feeling especially without specific reasons#idk...maybe i need a fresh start maybe that's what this is secretely about :/#my beloved queer coffee shop/venue/community hub is closing down in march and they are in the same city the guy moving to wales#lives in- all the comments about how it's a shitty place and nowhere near as good as it used to be under his post#while i'm here looking at that city like- omg i wish i had that#because they have an alternative scene and a trans activism scene and at least 1 gay club and a labour movement and an anarchist movement#and used to have a bi meetup group#which doesn't exist any more so that part really is more shit now i guess#but it's weird seeing people talking about the place i see as so great compared with this shitty conservative town#with 'oh it's terrible it has nothing to offer people like us'- i don't even want to join all those scenes but at least they are there!!#....i think. Anyway here we had a 'LGBTQ' bar open for like 2 months and closed due to horrendous mismanagement and#1 zillion mistakes by the organising group. fuck them so hard#but still i think i need to appreciate what we do have here#i probably don't want to move...ugh i don't know :/
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iamthedukeofurl · 5 months ago
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Discworld is an interesting beast in the age of ACAB. Like, the city watch books are a story about police and the way in which a good police force can help and protect people. Which would make it copoganda. And I'm not going to say that the City Watch books are completely free of copoganda, but they also do something interesting that fairly few stories about heroic police officers do, and I think it has a lot to do with Samuel Vimes. A lot of copoganda stories like, say, Brooklyn 99, are perfectly capable of portraying cops as cruel, bigoted, and greedy, but our central cast of characters are portrayed as good people who want to help their communities. The result is that the bad cops are portrayed as an aberration, while most cops can be assumed to be good people doing a tough job because they want to help protect people from the nebulous evil forces of "Crime". The police are considered to be naturally heroic. Pratchett does something very interesting, which is provide us with Vimes' perspective, and present us with an Unnaturally heroic police force. In Ahnk-Morpork, the natural state of the watch is a gang with extra paperwork. It's the place for people who, at best, just want a steady paycheck and at worst want an excuse to hit people with a truncheon. Rather than be an army defending people from the forces of Crime, the Watch is described as a sort of sleight-of-hand, big burly watchmen in shiny uniforms don't stand around in-case a Crime happens in their vicinity, they stand around to remind people that The Law exists and has teeth. The Watchmen are people, when danger rears it's head, their instinct is to hide and get out of the way. When faced with authority, their instinct is to bow to it out of fear of what it might do to them if they don't. Carrot is a genuine Hero, but his natural heroism is presented as an aberration. Normal Cops don't act like Carrot does. The fact that the Watch ends up acting like a Heroic Police Force is largely due to the leadership of Sam Vimes, but Vimes himself is a microcosm of the Watch. The base state of Sam Vimes would be an alchoholic bully of an officer, one who beats people until they confess to anything because that makes his job easier. Vimes The Hero is a homunculous, an artificial being created by Sam Vimes fighting back all those instincts and FORCING himself to behave as his conscience dictates. Vimes doesn't take bribes or let his officers do the same because, damnit, that sort of thing shouldn't happen, even if doing so would make things a lot easier. Vimes doesn't run towards sounds of screaming because he WANTS to, he forces himself to do so because somebody needs to. It's best summed up in Thud “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Your Grace.” “I know that one,” said Vimes. “Who watches the watchmen? Me, Mr. Pessimal.” “Ah, but who watches you, Your Grace?” said the inspector with a brief little smile. “I do that, too. All the time,” said Vimes. “Believe me.”
In the hands of another writer, or another series, this exchange would be weirdly dismissive. To whom should the police be accountable to? Themselves, shut up and trust us. But from Vimes, it's a different story. Vimes DOES constantly watch himself, and he doesn't trust that bastard, he's known him his entire life. The Heroic Police are not a natural state, they're an ideal, and ahnk-morpork only gets anywhere close. Vimes is constantly struggling against his own instincts to take shortcuts, to let things slide, but he forces himself to live up to that ideal and the Watch follows his example. Discworld doesn't propose any solutions to the problems with policing in the real world. We don't have a Sam Vimes to run the NYPD and force them to behave. We don't have a Carrot Ironfounderson. But it's at least a story about detectives and police that I can read without feeling like I'm being sold propaganda about the Thin Blue Line.
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phantomrose96 · 2 years ago
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I'm thinking about Tumblr Live again and ruminating on WHY it's such a huge flop and I think I've figured it out: They've completely refused to make it a tumblr feature...
By which I mean (begrudgingly goes to unsnooze Tumblr live) this:
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^This is meant with zero insult or derision to the people above, but these are absolutely not Tumblr users.
Every single thumbnail I've ever seen for Tumblr live seems to say "This is for clout!" "This is for a thirst trap!" "This is for influencers!" "This is for Tiktok wannabe stars!" "This is for showing your pretty filtered face and reaping what people on Instagram and Tiktok are desperately chasing!"
I'm remembering that Reddit has (or had) livestreams you could tune into like this. I've tapped into some. Ones I remember offhand include:
a guy just wandering around downtown in his city silently showing people the streets and stuff
a guy streaming his attempt to beat the last level of Celeste
a guy streaming his dog he was petting
And that, that was Reddit. That was undoubtedly just regular Reddit users going "oh stream feature? yeah okay. here's my dog." "here's my video game." "here's my street corner in Prague."
And when I think of all the recent successful Tumblr features, they're all things that correctly tapped into actual Tumblr user interests. Blaze had people go "haha yeah here's my dog." "here's my advertisement for a horse lawyer (lawyer who is a horse)." They let us buy crabs because, fuck it, crabs. The blue checkmarks were funny. Polls turned into the fandom brackets people have desperately wanted to make for a decade+. I'd wager the merch that calls on old Tumblr memes is at least decently successful.
If Tumblr Live wanted the chance to be successful, it should have been angled toward Tumblr users. "Here, you can livestream your cat if you want." "You can livestream yourself working on some fanart and chatting." "You can livestream yourself going bird watching because birds are your hyperfixation and you can identify them all by their song to all your followers who want to tune in for bird facts."
But Tumblr Live has never tried to be that. It ONLY seems like it wants to be a Tiktok-clone, Instagram-clone, clout-chaser baited-hook trying to pull converts over from Tiktok/Insta/etc who are trying to grow their influencer brand, which Tumblr is lethally hostile to.
(And ALL of this is only touching on the concept behind what's happening here. I haven't even touched on the third-party streaming service and questionable data protection.)
Like fine, I guess I get it from a business model of trying to grow your userbase--since catering to your existing userbase doesn't pull in new meat. But this will not work. Because anyone, tumblr-native or not, trying to grow themselves as an influencer will NOT find success here. This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. We will not watch your Shein haul stream.
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dogtoling · 7 months ago
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OK. . . seems i missed the whole 'chickens are controversial in splatoon' thing. . . why?
To put it short there's evidence both for and against them existing, and this is without me actually looking anything up so i might be missing something.
cases for chickens being extant: there's been chickens present in SOME form in several splatfests, they're not mammals so they're not NECESSARILY extinct, despite being domesticated animals and thus being unlikely to survive it doesn't mean it'd be IMPOSSIBLE because pigeons and other relatively human-dependent birds still survive in Splatoon, and of course there are many instances of Eggs being a staple in inkling culinary culture. egg is everywhere
cases for chickens being extinct: we only actually See chickens (or chicken, as in food) in splatfest art and splatfest dialogue which isn't (or at least definitely wasn't until Splatoon 3) canon-compliant at all. We havent actually seen chickens in-universe to my knowledge, nor had them mentioned outside splatfest. probably the biggest nail in the coffin is that there IS a chicken statue in Splatsville, and typically when there are big animal statues in the cities those are statues depicting extinct animals. this is something from an interview that touched on the crane and tortoise statues in Inkopolis Square; which also confirms that it wasn't JUST MAMMALS that suffered and went extinct, it was also other miscellaneous land animals and even random birds which I think me and initially a lot of other people thought were just. Fine and safe. But if a random bird like a crane can be extinct now then chickens are absolutely not safe just because they're not mammals. although eggs are in like every food it's not really been confirmed in any way that those are CHICKEN eggs (although that is the most likely), they could as well be farming domesticated pigeons or something
So really it's a big case of no real confirmation they DO exist, but also no real confirmation they DON'T exist, but also the only context we see them in-universe is in a context where every other animal depicted there IS extinct and it's like a lore thing. So the existence of eggs is a big hint TOWARDS them existing but could easily mean nothing whereas the other one is more in line with proving they do not exist. it is a very uncertain situation for the chicken
HOWEVER!!!!!! there is hope for the chicken. splatfests in Splatoon 3 have had more in-universe accurate themes and dialogue so far (meaning they dont randomly make up shit like "marina's landlord is a narwhal" and "inklings eat red meat" or whatever the fuck in that sea food vs mountain food one we didnt even have that one it was regional). SO THIS MEANS! in the next splatfest we Could get a somewhat stable answer to if chickens exist or not. of course the other 2 options are extinct animals whereas the chicken is 50/50. i'm HOPING the dialogue touches upon this fact and doesn't just talk about all of those like they just Exist. basically we are very close to some kind of progress on this issue that would be Somewhat credible because while splatfest dialogue has never been a credible source in the past, it has been WAY better in S3
TL;DR we just don't know. Chickens are a mystery
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dcxdpdabbles · 6 months ago
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DCxDP Fanfic idea: Rude Kryptonian
Danny Fenton is prepared for a lot of things when Vlad calls his parents and asks to take his godson for a summer. Things would have gone differently if Danny's hero business hadn't made him a "troubled" kid. He was failing a lot of his classes, sleeping or ditching most classes and not to mention all the random injuries.
They were worried he was becoming some kind of gang member. (It hurt a little they assumed the worst of him and not worried that something bad was happening).
His dad was convinced that Vlad could somehow set him on the correct path.
Now Vlad had moved on from trying to be his stepdad and forced Danny to be his son, but that didn't mean Danny liked him. Or that he could forget what he put him through.
So he was less than happy to pack his bags and be driven to the airport to board Vlad's private jet. His parents lectured him the whole time, warning him to not be a bother to his uncle Vlad, and to behave. Jazz just looked anxious, practically begging her parents to change their mind.
They did not listen, and Danny was thrown onto the jet after getting past security. He was not surprised the plane went off course due to "mysterious" wealther a hour into the trip.
It was like they purposely flew into a thunderstorm, complete with harsh winds and rain. His plane crashed landed in the middle of nowhere thirty minutes later.
He was less surprised he was the only human on board - Vlad had tricked him once before with a ghost pilot. Why not again?- But at least no one, but Danny was hurt.
Jeez, couldn't Vlad think of anything more original? Then again, the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again, expecting different results.
Danny sat in his chair, having escaped the crash with only a few scrapes thanks to his powers, fuming at his parents and Vlad. He was so distracted he did not notice the hurried rescue team that surrounded the broken metal.
He did however notice the man who ripped off the top part of the jet, floating in the air in the most ridiculous outfit he's ever seen.
"Are you alright, son?"
"Are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look at you. Look at what you're wearing." Danny gestures to the stranger. He ignores how the stranger's blue eyes start to glow. "You can't honestly tell me you're alright in the head looking like that. "
The man frowns "You're not human"
"How dare you! I have rights!"
The stranger fumbles, looking suprised "no. No, I meant you're like me- a alien"
"I'm not illegal! I have papers!"
"Not that kind of alien-! I'm Kryptonian!" The man floats down to Stanford beside Danny's seat. He reaches out to carefully ripe away the metal trapping him. "I think you may be as well, based on your biology"
Danny squints "How do you know my biology?"
"I used my x-ray vision to-!" Danny gasps, reaching out to slap the man across the face before covering his body with his hands. The man seems more startled by the fact that he was able to push his face to the side and then the actual slap.
"Stanger danger! Creep! Fruit loop!" Danny cries, turning intangible and flying out of the wreckage. "Stay away from me!"
He flies at his top speed, ignoring the call from the man. He can feel him following, and yes, he may be faster than Danny, but he's also solid and visible. Danny uses his powers to his advantage, losing him after a twenty minute chase.
It's only after three days of trying to get home that Danny realizes he's futher away from home than he originally planned. As in an entirely different world? It feels like it since Amity Park doesn't exist, much less, his friends and family.
Thankfully, he finds a nice little city that reminds him of the ghost zone for him to rest in. His new neighbor is filled with colorful characters, and there always seems to ve something happening keeping him on his toes.
Maybe this summer won't be so bad after all.
Meanwhile, Clark is panicking that a new Kryptonian had fallen from the sky, crashing landing near Ma and Pa's place only to have the boy disrespect him and escape. Now it's a race against time to find him before it's too late.
Also he was a little mean.
But where would he go?
Gotham. Danny is in Gotham, and he's yelling at people who keep trying to spray chemicals at him. He's having the time of his life.
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