#or honestly bc.. i am stressed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dokyeomini · 2 years

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i am sure i have gained weight lately bc i stopped working out..

#or honestly bc.. i am stressed #they both happen at the same time so alhksl #but i really truly can't go back to logging what i eat etc...#bc i am such an all or nothing person.. i just lose myself in it...#maybe .. i need a therapist ahah #the plan i got from the nutritionist seemed realistic but also. my brain does bot work like that #so i have decided that simply making sure most of my meals have enough protein and also have carbs and fats is best #tbh i don't feel the best when i eat only carb heavy food #tho i love them dearly ❤️#all i had today was cake a pastry and some leftover pasta #all delicious #and the pasta sauce had spinach algdlo #but eating enough protein is hard when i prefer not to eat meat #and honest to god i am sick of eggs #and i don't love beans #ugh...#i also can't think of it as 'losing weight ' bc i could do that in a very simple way.. not healthy tho #so im just trying to focus on being healthier #ugh why did i ramble abt this again

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choco-1601 · 15 days

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Afternoon nap~

Happy first month of morston monday! I cant believe we made it to a month tbh..thank u all sm for sharing ur love with morston with us by participating in the event 💜

#honestly mondays seemed dull until morston mondays become a thing #it became my source of excitement and stresss #well stress bc of having to decide what to draw and then drawing it while wondering if its gonna turn out like i imagined #or am i gonna scrap it completely at the last possible second #anyway #here’s to many more of morston mondays #i am now realising my mistakes in the drawing but its too late now 🤡#morston #red dead redemption 2 #john marston #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption community #morstonmonday #morston monday #rdr2 fanart #fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr

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fedorah-the-explorah · 6 months

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once I recover my motivation to write I'm going to write about whatever lesbian shit paper star and carmen had going on during that hold over year and then it's going to be OVER for you bitches

#shut up suzie #papercarm #carmen sandiego 2019 #honestly it probably wont be till after the new year that i publish anything new #im so. stressed #im working full time bc my boss asked me to and like a fool i said yes #i have this hefty video project im working on #and then i gotta write some lesbian shit for the carrie fandom #bc i do a carrie holiday fic exchage each year and i refuse to break that tradition #even if i am actively weeping as i think about everything i got going on 😭😭#sorry for the rant guys #seriously shut up suzie

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newtafterdark · 7 months

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Aaaand another year has passed! 🎉🎂

#and I also am no longer stressed over my sona #that's honestly Growth™ for me #they now got a few fish-y additions that I was reluctant with adding bc of personal reasons #but to hell with holding back with my art #and how I depict myself online #newtafterdark #demon sona #sona #demon #art #original art #oc talk

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aropride · 6 months

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school is like Yeah we know youre in a title 9 investigation and its taking up 90% of ur brainpower UNfortunately you have to do assignments. like Well what if i Dont Want to.

#text #i need to email my professors . honestly i might just tell my psych professor like #hey girl im so fucking sorry about the essay um. you see my essay about ptsd hasbeen hindered by my real actual ptsd #and i thought i could get it done once my case was over but my case isnt over and idk if it will even be by the end of the semester atp #so basically i banked it on being less stressed at the end of the semester but that didnt happen so now im extra stressed and my essay isnt #done and im sorry. and thats SO EMBARASSING but i have to do it #bc i need her to know I Am Trying and it is just. reallt really hard #and i was iut of my adhd meds for a mo th and. fuck man i wish it was easier #when are they making it easier doe anyone know #neg #🗒️

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rowenabean · 2 months

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#just saw a post that was like 'if you have religious or moral objections that stop you from providing certain types of medical care maybe #you shouldn't work in healthcare' (paraphrased) and...#what a way to look at the world tbh #like. they're talking about me i think - i am a conscientious objector when it comes to euthanasia #(which granted has come up exactly twice and both cases in a theoretical capacity only this is not a frequent request to me)#and... i am also a good doctor #last week i told someone that her weight doesn't matter to her health with receipts to prove it and she cried #no one had ever told her that before #and that was something that came from me specifically. that was something i would not trust all of the GPs in my practice - a practice of #excellent and compassionate GPs! - to say #i am verifiably doing good in my job that is coming from specifically who i am as a person #i cannot put that down when it comes to issues i care deeply about #fundamentally the fact that i cannot put it down is what makes me a good doctor #i think that's what i'm trying to get at #the reason that i do well by my patients is that i practice out of my values and my ethics #if i did not stand on that core i would not stand at all #so you can't have it both ways. you can't have engaged and active and compassionate healthcare providers without sometimes those engaged an #active providers having things they do not feel comfortable doing #and it is to everyone's service if they are up front about it and do not try to hide (i am suspicious of people who try to hide this)#i am literally figuring this all out as i type hence the v long tag ramble and also being nowhere near the post that started this train #(honestly in med school we talked so much about ethics as like. abortion! euthanasia! trans rights! and the ethics in practice is the littl #things. do you apologise when you mess up. how do you manage a consult with your patient with paranoid dementia and her child in the same #room at one time - or one by one bc that's fraught too. (that one's on top i had one of those today.) how do you act with grace when #you're a bit stressed and your patient is a bit stressed and the nurse wants to add five more things to your book. the day to day ethics is #SUCH a bigger thing when you come to actual practice.)#this is obviously entirely about me and leans on the fact that i largely do think i am doing a good job i am really feeling my own way #to a Thought. but i think to a certain extent it is generalisable

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 8 months

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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astrxealis · 7 months

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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors #IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch #in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation #needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore #LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others #but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w #smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now #will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!

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brothersonahotelbed · 4 months

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classes start tuesday which means my tumblr usage is going to either increase by 200% or plummet so severely you all will think i've left for good

#loquitur #kidding. i think #honestly i have a good feeling about this semester but i'm just Nervous about stupid stuff #like ohhhhh are people going to actually Use my pronouns this time or is it going to be a repeat of last semester!!!#and the standard “how am i coming across to people i've never met before” bc first impressions stress me tf out #ough.

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kaitaiga · 7 months

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#you know what sucks?#not being happy with ur own art #like it genuinely sucks #I could pour hours into something and then absolutely fucking hate it the moment I post it #like I’ll lay in bed just staring at something I made #looking at all the flaws #something I think is great now is something I’ll probably hate in the future #I honestly just think my art is boring #that’s probably it #for months I’ve struggled to draw maybe bc of all the stress I’m going through irl #but idk #I’m not feeling too good about my art tonight sorry #with that being said though I am pretty pleased with my recent post #but everything else I’ve drawn just… idk.#kaitaiga’s thoughts

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starheirxero · 9 months

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HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TSAMS EPISODE YET?!!!

Bloodmoon might be coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ASK SENT ME FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM OMG. WATCHED IT AND HOLY SHIT. I’M LIKE ?!?!!!!! IM GENUINELY SURPRISED HE’S COMING BACK ???? I WAS SO SURE BLOODMOON WAS GUNNA STAY DEAD THIS IS FASCINATING. ESPECIALLY RUIN’S IMPLICATION OF ALTERING THEM ???? WHAT IS HE GUNNA DO 2 THE BOYS……. IM VERY INTRIGUED

#asks #crack-a-lackin-max #honestly tho i rlly can’t stress how much i thought bloodmoon was going to Stay Dead?????#Like don’t get me wrong i am honestly terribly excited because i miss bloodmoon a LOAHT and if they return that means I can pick apart-#-their character more!!!#however to Me this is so out of left field that i’m also just like HUH AHDISNKDLC #i wonder if ruin is going 2 put bloodmoon thru the horrors tho……#modify them 2 make them obedient is what ruin said. that is smth they have Never wanted to be and I can imagine that will be Maddening if-#-it works. but also like. this isn’t exactly a revival like it is with Lunar. Bloodmoon /died/ died. No nanobots left #A second version of being built. A new version is being built. It’s likely that the new Bloodmoon won’t have any memories #So can you imagine waking up with an insatiable urge to maim and kill and the one person you want to do it to has a failsafe to make sure-#-that you can’t do that and everyone around you seems to know you already and has a deep fear of hatred towards you?#wouldn’t that be more frustrating and confusing than the ever-present hunger? Wouldn’t that drive them a little insane?#sorry this probably won’t happen but could u imagine AHAHBSJABS #sun and moon show spoilers #tsams #bloodmoon #xero thoughts and rambles #bc of my tags LMAO

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confinesofmy · 5 months

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my grandma does so much stuff to piss me off and i feel like i can't vent to anybody else in the family about it bc it sours them on her and makes them less likely to help her so then it always all comes down to me when she needs help so she's just getting more and more isolated, and weird in her interactions with me. and the cycle repeats again.

#i'm driving her to an appointment tomorrow because no one else will (2 hours one-way)#and she just tacked on going and visiting with someone afterwards which will add on a minimum of an hour #plus i honestly don't want to see that person again. she reminds me of my dead mom bc my dead mom is our connection to her.#and i hate driving generally. like my bi-monthly drive to go get groceries from the walmart 5 towns over stresses me tf out every time #and i know for a fact i can drive 30 minutes further for even cheaper groceries but i can't do it because it's such a stress #so i told my grandmother there's just no way and there's got to be an alternative #and she got really really upset so i said you need to find someone else to take you to visit her on a different day #and if you can't find anyone else then i'll take you if it comes down to it #but tomorrow is not going to become a 10 hour day no way no how #and she got so upset she said she had to go lie down 😑#sorry you didn't get your way. i am allowed opinions and autonomy.#even if they interfere with what you want to do.#adam talks too much

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binders-and-beanies · 2 months

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Doin bad again folx

#might delete later I’m just wide awake and miserable #summer bill came out today and it’s $7100 not including housing which will be $2400 #literally dunno how im gonna pay for that and my dad is. adding to the emotional turmoil of it all #not able to get a loan at least not before the bill is due #able to get aid luckily but again who knows when or how much #my bday is tomorrow and for months I’ve been like please just let my bday be a good day i need one #i need some hope. not that I haven’t had good experiences lately bc I have. but nothing that lasts #nothing i get to feel good about for more than a day before a new problem drops #I need to enjoy my birthday without feeling this deep dark dread and fear and fucking guilt and hopelessness #I have fun plans for today And tomorrow and I’m grateful but honestly stressed about that too #bc it’s gonna be a lot + bc of all I need to do outside of that #+ I don’t get to spend my bday w friends the way I want like I have one friend Maybe coming w me #my bday is supposed to feel celebratory and instead it feels like absolutely forcing some illusion of choice or joy in my life #on top of it all. the most peaceful I usually ever feel is in bed w my partner and now my body won’t even let me hold or be held by them #currently laying next to them not touching them so I at least don’t keep them up w how physically miserable I am rn #I’m literally always physically miserable at this point and it feels like spring is never gonna come and provide any relief #but it’s like can I at least be cozy w them. nope instead I’m wide awake facing various horrors #despite being permanently exhausted and falling asleep in class after 40 ounces of coffee #Im just. so fucking unhappy in life rn dude I don’t want life to be like this forever with the constant threat of it getting much worse #fucking shred of joy in this godforsaken world: the sleep noises they r making rn #mine #txt #vent post #suicidal ideation tw #<- cry for help

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izzy-b-hands · 8 months

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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)

#text post #god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again #in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps #makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now #gonna sleep eventually #i think lmao #im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better #that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something #no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that #my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it #he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year #i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND #and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live #that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me #he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off #where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself #if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao #i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine #gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings #find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try #forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others

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beelzzzebub · 5 days

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three months until i get to go back to school. i can deal with three months.

#boink #it's been two weeks and it's already just so taxing #like school is stressful too but at least it's sort of self contained #at least i'm somewhat in control of things #i know i'm not really an adult yet #but the last two semesters of relative independence #well i appreciated being able to just do things #like being able to decide when to eat #going places without having to wait to get approval first #like obviously i had a rough school year #but at least the consequences and events were organic #like i could fuck up my classes without having to come home to people getting mad at me for arbitrary things #like my mom just got mad at me bc i knocked on the bathroom door to loud #i'm anxious atm bc the house fan is on and the noise stresses me out so maybe i did knock too loud idk #but anyway she comes into my room and starts freaking out about anger management issues #which yeah honestly true enough #but like. not about this?#i am just overstimulated fam #i wasn't angry and i didn't even interact with anyone before i got shit for wanting to close my door and calm down a little #so anyway #stuff like that #little decisions and motions and things #i just prefer being on my own ig

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3-aem · 2 years

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I have a chronic maybe irrational fear as an artist that one day I'll put out precisely two mediocre pieces back to back and that will tear down Everything. Everyone will be like "i usually like ur stuff but this one kinda a miss :/" which btw is genuinely the worst thing you can say to any creator bc then we can't even pretend like ur a h8r.

The algorithm i so carefully managed to please will suddenly turn one me and shadow ban my butt into the unknown for being a plebeian. And I'd have no one to help me out of that pickle. I'd have to give up bc it's too painful to continue otherwise as a has been. Art will become this weird relic of my early 20s, a "Hey i used to be pretty good at art!" story. But my lack of practice over the decades has made it so I could NEVER draw gojo the way i can currently and it will frustrate and disappoint me and I'll die with regret so deeply entrenched in my blood and bones the earth around my grave rots and festers.

#honestly piece on twitter isn't even doing poorly maybe I've just been spoiled by yall #and maybe it's bc that genuinely was the best i could do and if the best i could do isn't enough i worry that's mediocre piece number 1 #and the next piece where i couldn't even summon forth my best out of stress will be mediocre piece number 2 #but maybe even worse the verification stuff already kicked me before i had a chance #slumps i expect now they're natural #but slump eras i cannot #ok so last night i said that post was the most deranged thing i ever said #it's not a contest but uh this.#this is the most deranged thing I've ever said and ever will say #why am i saying it well I'm venting I'm sleep deprived snd cannot sleep #my legs are ansty again and my carpal tunnel is acting up bc I've been holding my phone weird #obsessively checking twitter like a lunatic #listen i will be okay in the morning maybe maybe not idk #no choice though #actually idk if that piece is the best i can do.#delete later

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