#or if one of the anons misses it maybe this way it's easier to find it i guess

[wholoveseggs]

how about some pre vampire elijah smut with his secret wife maybe skinny dipping in the river

Springs

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Viking!Elijah Mikaelson x Reader} You meet your secret lover deep in the woods, and take him to your favorite spot to spend some time together.

♡♡ Love this idea anon! I decided to change it from a river to a hot spring && Viking Elijah is just a sweetie ♡♡

3.5k words - Warnings: Smutttt, pre-vampire Elijah, shy Elijah, slight breeding kink {its just how the vikings are}, hot springs, lots of Norse mythology, Elijah being protective, steam, snow, Icelandic & lynxes...

@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv

@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibess @always-and-forever-daydreaming

@spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse

@cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2

@itsjulzandmydiamonds @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury

@amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28

@sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @sekaishell @b1tchy

@loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123 @iamawkwardandshy @ziayamikaelson

@absolutemarveltrash @darkened-writer @nina6708 @evasmlp

@madeinmyownmind-blog @lovelyy-moonlight @blacknightrises

Soft white flakes were falling from the sky, the sound of them crunching under his heavy boots echoed through the forest as Elijah walked through it. The young man had his hood pulled over his head and his hands in the pocket of his coat, trying his best to keep himself warm from the cold.

You had told him to meet you at your secret spot, the one you had been coming to for years now. It was where the two of you first shared your feelings and had kissed for the first time, it was where you wanted to be when things got too much in the village. It was a place that was just for the two of you. A place you could be free and yourselves, away from the prying eyes of your families.

"I was starting to wonder if you would ever come," you teased, smiling softly at him. Your hair was pulled back out of your face, long braids falling down your back, with a warm fur cape upon your shoulders. 

"Sorry, mother was fussing about the weather and how she didn't want me out in it," he said, smiling back at you.

"She worries for nothing, it is just snow." You shrugged, moving to wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer. "And it is much easier to snuggle with you this way," you giggled, kissing him softly.

Elijah returned the kiss, his hands falling to rest on your hips, smiling against your lips. His perfect pink lips felt soft and warm against yours, as always. His thumbs rubbed small circles on your hip, as the two of you shared a moment together.

"I've missed you my sæt ást {sweet love},” he said softly, looking at you.

You smiled at him, blushing softly, your nose wrinkling up as you did. "I missed you too."

Elijah couldn't help but laugh, loving the little things that you did. He wished he could tell his parents of how happy you made him, but his father would never allow it. Your father and his own had been feuding for years and the thought of the two of you together had always made him angry.

You noticed the change in him, reaching up and cupping his cheek, running your thumb over the stubble. "What is the matter? Talk to me," you said softly.

Elijah smiled softly, nuzzling his cheek into your hand. He loved that you could read him so easily.

"I hate keeping secrets," he said, sighing. "I hate having to sneak around and lie to everyone."

You bit your lip and nodded. "I know...I don't like it either. I grow tired of hearing how much of a disappointment I am."

His eyebrows knitted together. "Why would they say such things?" He asked, frowning.

"Because I'm supposed to find a suitable husband, not spend my time running in the woods like a child," you shrugged.

Elijah's eyes filled with sadness, the thought of losing you made him ache, and he pulled you closer. Even in the deep winter you smelled of summer trees and freshly picked berries. It was a scent he would never get tired of.

"I have a surprise for you, hjartað mitt {my heart}" you said softly, looking up at him.

He arched an eyebrow, the smile returning to his face. "What is it?" He asked, his curiosity peaked.

"Come," you smiled, taking his hand and leading him deeper into the woods.

He admired how quick you were on your feet, no one knew the forest better than you. Elijah had often found himself lost in it, when he would go off on his own. And when you had learned of this, you had spent every spare moment, teaching him where to go and how to get there.

In return he had taught you how to hunt and use a sword, although you would much rather use an axe. He had never met a woman like you before, a woman who was not afraid to speak her mind or try new things. You pushed him to take risks he otherwise wouldn't have, and he was thankful for that. He had fallen hard for you and he would do anything to keep you by his side.

After a few minutes you stopped, the sound of running water could be heard. You led him through the trees, pushing some branches aside as the two of you reached the clearing.

The moon cast a glow over the small pond, the water was crystal clear, and steam rose up from it. Elijah looked at you in shock, and you could only smile.

"I must confess, I've been keeping this place to myself for a while," you said, walking over to the edge of the water.

He watched you kneel down and dip your hand in the water. It was warm. "How is it like this?" He asked, tilting his head.

"A gift from Njord or perhaps Logi himself," you shrugged.

He walked over and did the same. The water was a welcoming feeling and he could already feel his muscles relaxing. Elijah looked over at you, watching as you removed your cloak and let it fall to the ground.

"ástin mín {my love}," he said softly, watching you pull your hair out of its braids.

You turned your head to look at him. "Come, let us enjoy the heat of the water together."

Elijah was hesitant at first, he did not wish to anger your father, or his father for that matter. But, when he saw you begin to undress, all thoughts of going back left his mind.

"You can't come in with your clothes on, my sweet," you giggled, as you slipped off your underdress.

You let it fall to the ground, shivering slightly as you stood in front of him. His face was priceless, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed. You could not help but laugh, shaking your head.

"Come Elijah," you smiled, walking over and undoing his cloak.

He swallowed, his nerves beginning to get the best of him. "But-" he whispered, as you continued to undress him.

"Do you not trust me?" You asked, looking up at him.

His heart pounded as he looked into your eyes. Of course he trusted you. It wasn't that. It was the fact that he was about to be fully exposed to you.

"Yes," he whispered.

You smiled and leaned up, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"It's not like we haven't seen each other before," you whispered, smiling softly.

He could not help but smile, and he nodded. "Yes, but not...like this."

It was true, you and him had snuck away and had fooled around in the woods once or twice. But, it had never been this intimate before. You never had the chance to be fully exposed, to take your time, it was always a rush of kisses, groping hands and quick pleasures.

You pulled him closer, and kissed him once more. This time the kiss was deeper, and he felt himself melt. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him flush against your body, as you continued to kiss him.

"mér er kalt {I am cold}" you said, smiling against his lips. "muntu halda mér hita? {will you keep me warm?}"

"Já," he whispered, kissing you again.

"Gott" you smiled, pulling away.

The sight of your naked body sent his head spinning, and his mouth dropped open. Elijah could not take his eyes off you, as he watched you slip into the water, your hair flowing behind you. You turned to look at him, beckoning him in, like a goddess from a myth.

Elijah had never taken his clothes off faster, he was careful to not fall over. He stepped into the warm water, the feeling of it enveloping him, relaxing his aching body. The warmth seeping into his bones, the steam rising up into the cold night.

You swam over to him, smiling, and took his hand, pulling him towards the small waterfall. The water was shallow there, and you sat down on a rock, the water covering most of your body.

His hands came to rest on your waist, and he looked at you, his brown eyes filled with lust. He moved closer, his fingers tracing circles over your skin, as his lips ghosted over yours.

You could feel his breath on your lips, as you reached up and cupped his face, pulling him closer. Your lips pressed against his, his hands roaming over your body, as you tangled your fingers into his dark hair.

The two of you stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the feel of one another. It had been a long and cold winter, and it was nice to finally spend some alone time together.

"How long have you known of this place?" He asked, his voice soft, and low.

You shrugged. "Years," you whispered.

"And no one else knows of it?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No, it's our place," you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He could not help the grin that spread across his face. It was their place. Something no one else knew about, no one else could spoil. It brought him a sense of peace he didn't know he needed.

"Perhaps it was not Njord or Logi, but Freyja who blessed this spot," he whispered.

You hummed softly in agreement, running your hands over his shoulders, and down his chest.

"Why do you say that?" You asked, your fingertips dancing over his skin.

"Because," he said, his fingers trailing up your sides. "She approves of our love," he smiled.

You shook your head, a smile on your face, as you pulled him closer, you could feel his cock against your thigh, and it only made you crave him more.

"Perhaps," you whispered. "She wants us to have many children, and we can only do that if we have a place to make them."

"Oh?" He grinned, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your neck.

Your breath hitched, as his lips trailed up your jaw and to your ear.

"You want to have my children?" He whispered, his breath warm on your skin.

You nodded, biting your lip. "More than anything."

He could not help the way his chest swelled, his heart fluttered, at the thought of having a family with you. To be able to hold a tiny version of you in his arms. He knew he would love them as much as he loved you.

"Then perhaps," he whispered, his hands roaming over your body. "We should give her what she wants."

You let out a soft giggle as he lifted you up, placing you in his lap. He sat down on a rock in the shallow end, the warm water coming up to his chest as he held you. He took a moment to look at you, the light of the moon illuminating your skin, making it glow.

"Þú ert svo falleg {You are so beautiful}," he whispered, leaning up and kissing you.

You melted into the kiss, your hands running through his hair. The quiet sound of running water and your soft moans filled the night air, as the two of you took your time with one another.

It was different from all the other times. You had time to enjoy the feel of one another, no longer rushing to be quick. It was a slow and sensual build, as Elijah ran his tongue along your jaw, his lips grazing the sensitive skin.

You were shivering slightly, most of your body was out of the water, but the feel of his body heat, and his warm lips on your skin, kept you from getting cold.

"Elijah," you sighed, your nails digging into his shoulders, as he took a nipple into his mouth.

His tongue swirling around it, causing it to harden. His fingers gently pinching and tugging on the other, making sure they both received equal attention. He could easily get lost in the taste and feel of you, he would worship your body until his dying day.

His eyes were darker than before, filled with lust, his cheeks were flushed. You could feel him twitch between his legs, as you moved closer, his cock brushing against your core.

"Do you remember the first time we were together?" He asked, his hands moving to grip your ass, giving it a soft squeeze.

You nodded, remembering the first time he touched you, how nervous you had been. "I will never forget."

"And do you remember how you asked me to tell you about the stars?" He asked, kissing the valley between your breasts.

You bit your lip and nodded.

"What did I tell you?" He asked, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips.

You swallowed, a small whimper escaping your lips, as his hands found your center, his thumb slowly stroking a spot that sent pleasure through your body.

"Y-you said that the Gods gave them to us, so we would have something to look at, w-when we were separated," you whispered.

"And every night I'm not with you, I just look to the sky, and see you," he whispered, kissing along your collarbone. "I know I will be with you again."

Tears welled in your eyes, as you cupped his face, looking into his eyes. They were filled with so much love and devotion, it took your breath away. You rested your forehead against his, positioning yourself above him, as his hands found your hips.

You took a deep breath and nodded, looking into his eyes. You slowly began to lower yourself onto him, the familiar warm feeling of him, sending pleasure through your body. It was the feeling of being complete.

Elijah was lost for words, when the two of you came together, it always felt like the first time. You fit together perfectly, like you were made for one another. He could feel his chest swell, his heart beating rapidly.

You leaned forward, your hands on his shoulders, and kissed him deeply. Elijah was not ready for you to move yet, and he needed a moment to regain himself. You could feel him trembling slightly beneath you, and it made you smile.

"Are you alright?" You whispered, kissing his neck.

"Yes," he breathed, his voice thick with desire.

You smiled against his skin, his scent filling your nostrils. He always smelled of pine and winter air, of comfort and home.

You slowly began to move, his lips finding yours once more. The feel of him inside you was better than you could imagine, the water creating a different sensation than before. Your bodies moved together, the sounds of the forest and the water surrounding you.

He didn't know how long the two of you had been here, it could have been minutes, hours, he was too caught up in you, in the moment. No rush to finish, just the two of you enjoying one another.

The sound of branches breaking made you pause, and your heart jumped in your chest. The two of you froze, peering out into the dark, searching for the source.

Elijah placed his hand on your back, moving you off of him, placing you behind him, as he stood up. You could see the change in him, the warrior within had come out.

He glanced at his sword, left in his pile of clothes, and he cursed himself for leaving it so far away. His body was tense, his breathing shallow, as his eyes scanned the area.

He could hear more rustling, and he felt your hand on his arm, clinging to him. He would not let anyone hurt you, no matter the cost.

The rustling stopped, and Elijah's eyebrows furrowed. His head turned, looking towards the sound, as the branches moved. He could see the shadow of a creature, and he tensed, his fists balling up, as his jaw clenched.

It was too dark to see, the moon had gone behind a cloud, and Elijah was beginning to get frustrated. He heard a soft huff, and two eyes peered out at him, glowing in the darkness.

Your grip on Elijah loosened as the moonlight broke through the trees and illuminated the clearing. A smile tugged at your lips as a large lynx emerged from the woods.

It had been years since Elijah had seen one. Lynxes were rare in the woods, and even rarer to see a fully grown one. They usually stuck to themselves, unless they were protecting their territory, and their cubs. This one was a different color than most, pure white, almost the same color as the snow.

You watched as Elijah took a few steps closer, reaching out his hand. The cat walked over, his tail swaying side to side, his ears twitching. He sniffed Elijah's hand, and nuzzled his nose against it, making him smile.

"You're a handsome fellow," Elijah said, his voice low and soft.

The lynx tilted his head and let out a soft chuff, steam coming from its snout. Elijah scratched behind its ear, the cat closing its eyes and leaning into his touch.

"I've never seen one like him," you said, swimming closer, watching in amazement.

Another branch broke and the two of you turned towards the sound. Your eyes widening, as another white lynx appeared, her fur a little darker than the males. She walked over and bumped her head against his, the two of them rubbing their noses against one another.

The cats walked over and laid down near the water, their coats blending in with the snow. Elijah turned and looked at you, a wide smile on his face, as he swam over to you.

"We're blessed by the Gods," he smiled, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up into the air.

You could not help but laugh, nodding your head as he pulled you under him, pressing your back against the rocks on the side of the spring.

"Perhaps Freyja is pleased with our love," you said, biting your lip.

"Perhaps she is," he smiled, his fingers trailing over your skin, as his lips found yours once more.  

His hands explored your body, as his tongue explored your mouth. It was soft, yet passionate, a kiss that spoke more than any words ever could.

He spread your legs and eased himself back inside of you, his mouth never leaving yours. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and you smiled against his lips. He took his time with you, slowly building up his pace, his thrusts hitting a spot that made your toes curl.

His hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place, as he kissed along your jaw and down your neck. Your moans filling the air, mixing with the sound of the splashing water, the two of you becoming one.

It didn't take long for you to reach your climax, and you were thankful for the warm water surrounding you, because otherwise, you would have frozen. Elijah followed shortly after, his forehead resting against yours, as his hands tangled in your hair.

The two of you were breathless, and you could not stop the laughter that bubbled up. He grinned, pulling you into his arms, and kissing the top of your head.

"I do not wish to leave," he said, holding you close.

"Neither do I," you sighed, wrapping your arms around him. "But, I think the others might come looking for us if we don't return soon."

Elijah let out a sigh, a small pout on his face. "I know," he said, leaning down and kissing you.

A few smaller lynxes ran out into the clearing, their small paws crunching on the snow. Their fur was the same as their mother's, and they were still a bit clumsy, their legs long and unbalanced. They stopped and looked at the two of you, their ears twitching, before darting back into the woods.

"I suppose it's time to go," you said, looking at Elijah.

He nodded, pressing a kiss to your temple, "soon, sæt ást {sweet love}. Let's just stay a little longer."

The two of you stayed cuddled in each other's arms, listening to the sound of the water, the two cats resting by the edge of the pool, their heads resting on their paws. You felt at peace, surrounded by nature, in the arms of the man you loved.

The winter would end, and spring would arrive, but no matter what the season was, you would always have this place. This secret, hidden world that only the two of you knew about. A place where you could come and spend time with one another, without worry, or care.

A place that would always be filled with love, and memories, that would live on forever.

Fun Norse mythology facts!!

Njord is the god of the sea / water. Logi is the god of fire. Freyja is the goddess of love and fertility, her chariot is pulled by two cats, the only large cats in northern Europe are lynxes!

[dipperscavern]

let's talk about warming cregan's cock 😇👫

like you have so keenly established, mf can not sit still. this is the warden of the north we are referring to. the wolf of the north. he is well experienced in battle, a brilliant swordsman and lord of his house. he's used to abstaining during battle and experiencing dire circumstances over patience. surely he'd be able to let his pretty girl warm his cock?

WRONG 🙅‍♀️ someone, please fetch me a comedically large red buzzer to slam. thank you.

he's so restless. your stoic, burly, reserved, and patient man - reduced to ragged breaths and gritting his teeth because he can't sit still. here sits his pretty girl, batting her lashes at him, "cregan, can i please?" and it starts out well enough.

but you're so warm. so sweet. maybe he should be working on something - battle plans or lordy duties that define his bloodline. cregan's got an active mind, ever analyzing and preparing. he's hyperaware of everything in that moment - the way you slightly move your hips, wriggling in his lap. when he makes a comment about it, you just pout, telling him you were "adjusting." 🙄 yeah girl okay you just wanted to feel the godly girth 3000

the way you softly sigh admist the quiet chamber. maybe you do something as simple as sneeze - but when you do, you clench around cregan. and he's losing his shitttt.

can someone please find the meme of the guy sitting at a desk with his blood vessels about to burst as he's sweating? because that is our lord stark.

he tries breathing through it, for your sake. i imagine you would be the one to propose it, for whatever desire and circumstance brought you to the moment. cregan is trying :(( it's just so hard. like him, TEHE. all he wants to do is flip you over and ravage you. just leave little bites and nicks along his pretty girl's flesh :((

this is torture for him.

- 🔄❄️

reverse. elsa. anon. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? BED EMPTY, NO NOTE, WINTER GONE.

okay but seriously i am so so so sorry you got lost in my inbox. please i beg of you, come back!! the ponderer has returned, and we miss u!! REVERSE ELSA ANON IF U CSN HEAR US PLEASE SAVE US i call out to the winds. if you return, you shall never be lost again. this i swear to you 💔✊

ANYWAYS. CREGAN STARK COCKWARMING. here’s your buzzer m’dear 🚨 when you suggest the idea, cregan is a bit perplexed. you don’t want him to make you cum as many times as you want? but you bat your lashes and ask so sweetly, and you don’t ask for much. plus, cregan is a warrior. a hardened, battle surviving lord — he can stay still for his pretty wife.

or so he thinks.

because once you sink down on him, his grip on your hips is like iron. you’re warm and wet and so inviting, and you don’t want cregan to move? gods have mercy. cregan is usually pretty held together, but his breathing turns all ragged and his gaze is glued to where his [REDACTED] meets your [CONTENT DELETED]. and even worse, you’re relishing in his loss of self control.

even so, he tries to be so good for you.

it gets easier over time, and when cregan feels you relax and sigh against him, he thinks it’s not so bad after all. cregan is in control, and things are okay. until a few minutes later, you sneeze. you clench around him, and he grits his teeth, lax grip on your hips tightening once more as he fights the urge to move.

“This is torture,” he breathes, trying with all his might to stay still for you :( <3

[sabokunsmalia]

ʚ 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚/𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗘 ɞ featuring: levi ackerman, erwin smith, armin arlert & eren yeager content warning: smut ahead, mdni!!! hi it's malia: the levi phase continues, let me just tell you that important information. send in requests, or come and be my anon, i'm in need of anime friends, really.

ʚ levi ackerman ɞ

levi's a private person when it comes to loving you. he isn't into pda that much, which makes it much easier to tease him. you received one slightly sexual picture of him. it was the first and the last as he did not like to send such private pictures of himself. after all, he cares about his position. but it was different from you. while he was away on a mission, or on the training grounds without you, you used the chance to send him the slightest bits of your body. just a couple sneakpeaks like the valley between your breasts which looked amazing without a bra, or the lace hem of your underwear peaking out from your pants. maybe even a slight sexual position. and hell, it would get him riled up so easily to see those things. give him a couple of minutes to find an isolated room. or maybe wait till he’s back in his office again and you will receive a call. ragged breaths of your boyfriend, “demanding my attention, you fucking minx? now help me solve what you caused,”. his words and demands, even the quiet groans are enough to initiate a video call and turn into a full session over the phone.

ʚ erwin smith ɞ

erwin is such a confident man, in public, in his position, and in his relationship with you. he has no problem when it comes to sending you sexual messages. or even send you a picture of the bulge in his pants in the middle of a meeting while hange explained another idea she had to inspect titans further. after all, his legs were underneath the table, nobody was able to see what he was doing. so you occasionally received a small video, with hange’s voice in the background as he massaged the thick tent in his pants with his fleshy fingers. it was addictive to witness how risky erwin would create those videos only to show you how much he needed you. as soon as the meetings were over and he could sit in the comfortable armchair at his desk again, the commander would call you. a wide smirk prominent on his mouth as he spoke to you. “hope you didn’t touch yourself yet, i have a couple of minutes and still a hard-on,” oh those few minutes were turning into half an hour and he would end up all flustered while talking to the government.

ʚ armin arlert ɞ

he's humbled so easily, and literally never starts sending naughty messages or pictures by himself. if you decide to spice up the conversation a little, armin would not deny it and easily write as sexual as you do. and as soon as you would send him those sweet pictures in those position, you always do when he visits, armin’s all in for having it all. after all, he couldn’t decline you anything anyways. still, he wouldn’t be the one to call you, throwing little hints that he wanted to see what you’re doing or missing your face. those little sweet messages were cover ups for the dirty mind, and the parts he really wanted to see if your body. little hints that he waited for you to call, and you did. most likely because his messages started to take way too long and when he accepted the call, you realized why. armin struggled with the bulge in his pants, almost embarrassed about how easily you made him hard and horny. especially extremely needy of feeling you. “please, please, i need you so bad,”

ʚ eren yeager ɞ

with eren it's completely different. he's confident with his body, and the love you have for each other. most of the time, it's him who sends the first naughty message or a picture of the tent in his pants. most likely with the words 'thought of you' while trying to lure out a couple of seductive pictures of your body for him. something, he could use later on. it's like eren always finds an excuse to send you a photo to receive praise for his body. when a conversation is getting out of hand, and the messages were only sexual, eren would find a quiet place to send you more pictures until yours were getting too much for him. he’s the one to call you, licking his lips while chuckling. “got you worked up huh? show me what you’re doing to yourself, princess. i might send you a nice video,”. his deep and raspy voice while commanding made it difficult for you to resist anymore. the desire rose to an unbearable heat, and you needed release. so you gave him a little show of what his words and pictures were exactly doing to you. and obviously, eden would join in without a question.

[chaotic-iguana]

how about a five where Javi rejects the reader, so the reader like gets really sad, but one day Javi hears she is going on a date (is not true, Murphy made it up) and he rushed to her apartment and confesses and reader is like ?? What are you talking about, super angsty but super fluffy? Pleaseeee

Out of time | javier peña x f! reader 

summary: javi rejects reader. repents like the idiot he is. (i love him) he is a FOOL in love. fight me. 

wordcount: 2.1k

warnings: rejection, angst and fluff, hurt and comfort basically, happy ending. 

A/N: i got you, anon. this promt is the perfect apology for the last one. repentance fr. love u ALL. let me know what you think. also nothing against “hippies” just giving murphy pov. i do however as an indian have a  bone to pick with fake white yoga gurus. it’s gotta be appropriation. 

masterlist

Javi had never been heartless before. Never been cruel before. Now, as you pointedly hunched over your desk in an effort to ignore the chortles and cheap jokes that kept sounding from the men crowded around his desk as they all stood around a nameless note someone -you- had slipped onto his desk. 

He laughed boisterously with them, before crumpling the paper in his fist and dropping it into the bin next to his chair. You refused to so much as raise your head and look his way, feeling the crushing wave of heartbreak sweeping through you. It wasn’t until you felt a tear on your cheek that you realised that you had started crying, and so you muttered an excuse about getting some coffee before rushing to the bathroom and sobbing in a closed stall. So much for Valentine’s day. 

It wasn’t until the end of the day, when you saw him walking your way in the parking lot, that you met his eyes. And you could see, with the set of his jaw; the arch of his brows, that he knew. Before you could scramble into your car, he was yelling after you. 

“Is your new hobby being extended to everyone or did I win the lucky draw? Cute note.” 

Oh, that bastard. 

You scoffed, looking him straight in the eye. “Call it a moment of weakness, Peña. Thought I felt something for you, and it was Valentine’s day. Pretty sure all I feel now is rage, you asshole.” 

A laugh from him. “Don’t be like that, hermosa. Let me know if you feel something between your legs for me, alright?”

Scowling, you turned from him and got into your car. You could have sworn he looked like a kicked puppy as you pulled out of the parking. These past few weeks, you had caught him looking at you more often. Finding excuses to touch you more often, too. A hand on your back, fingers accidentally grazing yours, his knee pressed against your thigh in Murphy’s backseat. Fucking idiot. You didn’t even know if you were madder at him or yourself. You know him. All of fucking Bogota knows him. God knows how you were foolish enough to think he felt anything except for between his legs. 

A few months go by, excruciatingly slowly. It’s as if time itself has decided to fuck with you. You miss his gaze on you, his hands, his smile, him. You’ve been avoiding him like the plague. Stopped looking at him even when he was in the same room, hardly spoke to him even if it was in the middle of a raid, declined Connie’s many many invitations to parties you knew he’d be at. It was just easier to pretend that February the 14th had been a completely normal day. You’re just tired of all of it. It would have been easier not to have said anything at all. 

What you were completely unaware of, however, was that you had a sneaky little shit for a partner. The fact that he had clocked what was going on immediately was completely unbeknownst to you. Both of you pining silently with what Steve dubbed “moony heart eyes”, the radio silence, and the fact that you had stopped talking to Connie just so you didn’t have to show up to her parties? Something had gone wrong. Initially, Steve thought that maybe Javi had made an unwanted move on you - and had damn near scuffed him to death - until he saw Javi’s eyes the next day. Haunted. It seemed that you had managed to take more out of the man than Escobar had. But you weren’t faring much better, either. Irritated and tired and grumbly all the time, refusing to so much as look in Javi’s direction. But you both were pretty much just staying out of each other’s ways, not causing any trouble, so he let it go. For now. 

But then Steve and Javi had to chase a lead down together, and Javi introduced him to an informant who - with a little imagination - looked like your spitting image. The same hair, terrifying similar voice, and a lopsided grin, just like yours. And it clicked. The day that had started it all, and the “anonymous” note Javi had gotten. The idiocy with which you both had handled the situation made him want to run unarmed into a sicario’s den, but he came up with another idea instead. 

Just before a weekend he knew on good authority that you had no plans except for lounging in bed, he started nudging and hinting to Javi the randomest shit about you. Just to reignite the interest. Almost like, you know - bait. 

“Man, her hair looks good. I wonder if she got it done?”

“Hey Peña, d’ya reckon that’s a new skirt? Connie’d kill me if I didn’t ask where from”

“Javi - look - she got her nails done. Before an op? Doesn’t that get a bit…impractical? Hey, I’m jus’ asking.” 

Each time, Steve was met with an irritated eyeroll, scoff, or just flat-out ignored. But around midnight on Friday, he ‘bust out the big guns’, so to speak, making an offhanded comment while jutting his chin out in the direction of your chair. 

“Good thing she left early. Never woulda made it to the date tomorrow mornin’ otherwise.”

Which, instead of being met with the usual options, was met with Javi’s brain almost short circuiting. The sight of his friend, gaping like a fish as his eyes practically bulged out of his head while he stammered out the easiest one-syllable word in the English language is one Steve can never forget. Or let Javi forget, either. 

“W-wha-what?”

And so, like the most devious matchmaker on the planet, Steve proceeded to make up some utter bullshit about a boy he’d supposedly seen you around with, one that had apparently asked you out tonight to meet him for ‘brunch’ tomorrow. Just to fuck with Javi, he made the guy from LA, and a tourist. And white. And the kinda hippie who did yoga and spoke about his newly-discovered chakras all the time. 

Javier could feel the blind panic clawing at his chest, his heart threatening to burst. He didn’t know exactly why, but he had hated every single second you hadn’t spoken to him. Laughed at his jokes. Flashed him your smile, even the sarcastic one. He missed your quips and the way you groaned and swore at him when he pissed you off. He’d convinced himself he could live with that. But this? A date with some idiot he knew wouldn’t treat you right? He couldn’t understand his own feelings compelling him to pack up in a frenzy, ignore Steve’s pointed laugh, scramble into his car and drive straight to your apartment. He didn’t even stop to smooth his hair back, or fix the wrinkles in his shirt from slumping in it all day. No, all that mattered to him in that moment was you. Who was he kidding? He knew exactly why he felt the way he did. He’d just been under the illusion that ignoring it would make it go away, but it hadn’t. He had to fix this now. 

Standing on your doorstep, Javi blinked for a second while marveling at how fast that drive had been - he’d barely registered doing anything since he heard the word date come out of Steve’s mouth. Hesitation clamped a hand over his mouth, his body, and he stood frozen, unsure of whether to knock or just turn around. But if not now, never, right? And who knew how long he would live? Wasn’t this a time he should be getting what he wants, spending time with the people he…loves? 

Before he could overthink himself out of doing it, Javi raised his fist and rapped it against your door, twice. And when you opened the door, rubbing your eyes and standing there in your sleep shorts and an oversized shirt, it took a second for his brain to catch up. It wasn’t until you were squinting at him, then stumbling over nothing as your eyes widened that he realised where he was. The hurt on your face in the split second before you moved to close the door had him jamming his foot in the doorframe. 

“Just hear me out, hermosa. I promise if you want me to fuck off after that, I will.” 

After waiting for you to nod and open your door wordlessly, he stalked after you, further into your apartment, stunned by how homely it was. The walls had pictures of you and other people laughing, of art and paintings and sketches that seemed to all have been done by the same person; the sofa was a rich brown leather and the fluffy throw on it just a shade lighter. Everything was carefully coordinated, in color and texture, and he couldn’t help but note the contrast. Some of his stuff was still in boxes. He’d been in Colombia for longer than you, and his stuff was still in boxes. The difference was laughable. 

But when he heard a sniffle from ahead, he found himself walking faster - practically walking into you - before he was planting his hands on your shoulders to turn you around to him, and then gripping the sides of your arms as if they were his salvation. His eyes searched yours, and the heartbreak he found as you tried to look away threatened to make his knees buckle. So he hooked an index finger under your chin to tilt your head up to him, resting his forehead against yours. Moving his thumb to smooth out the furrow in your brow, he huffed at the stubborn frown that refused to budge. 

“I am sorry. I truly am. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to react. I want you, and I did then, too. But I just…didn’t think it was real. I swear I thought you were joking at first. It’s why I let the guys see. Then I saw you in the parking lot, and you were actually sad, and I just panicked. I just don’t think I was ready back then. But I swear to God, I can’t bear another six months of the cold shoulder. I love you, you know. I’ve just been too much of an idiot to realise it.” 

For a whole minute, you just stare at him unblinkingly. Then, suddenly, your face crumples, limbs slackening in his grip. He holds you through it, letting you sob into his chest as he coos reassurances and apologies to you until you pull back from his embrace to look at him questioningly once more. 

“Why now?” Your words make Javi smile, and he cocks a brow at you. 

“You really thought I’d let that idiot take you out before I told you how I feel?” 

You look even more confused now, which is confusing him in turn. 

“Wait, what idiot?” There’s no twinkle in your eye - no smirk tugging at your lips. Not a joke. 

“The one who…asked you out?” Javi cocks his head at you, watching your frown deepen. 

“Who?” The absolute befuddlement on your face is on the verge of making him snigger, and he feels his lips twitching already. 

“The-does Murphy know? That you weren’t busy tonight?” His overworked mind supplies the answer to him, and he has never more in his life wanted to punch and hug his other partner simultaneously. 

“Oh, yeah. He asked cause Connie wanted to know if she could come over? I guess she must have gotten caught- oh. Oh.” Javi gives you a moment to reach the same conclusion he did, and both of you end up bursting out in laughter at the same time. 

But Steve was the one with the biggest grin when, come Monday morning, a bottle of premium whiskey and a brand new watch sat on his desk with a little note: 

Well played, motherfucker. 

What is it they say about couples adopting each other’s habits when they get into a relationship? Javi’d picked up your so-called hobbies within a weekend. 

You ended up spending enough time with each other to pick up everything else, too. Call it cliché, but atleast you weren’t boring. Or, you know, going on dates with imaginary guys that existed only in Steve’s extremely limited imagination. Win-win. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore,@millerscoffee, @ nostalxgic, @sscorpiiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk dividers by @reveriesources

[captain-pheonix]

Hi this is a silly question but I really like your stuff and I think you're cool and really swag writer so I was wondering if you could do one with the TF2 mercs (and maybe miss Pauling, whatever you want) with a reader who boxes? Can be romantic or platonic, and the gender can be whatever you find easier to write. Ok, thank you ❤️😭

Mercs + Pauling (romantic and/or platonic) x gn!reader who likes boxes 📦 (HCs)

A/n: AHHHH TY ANON ILY 🫶 This isn’t weird at all, seriously, I am a certified creature and you have 100% come to the right person. I collect Apple product boxes and if I’m being honest if I lived by myself I’d just collect boxes regularly. Im making this gn!reader that can be read as platonic or romantic! Hope you enjoy!!

BIG EDIT: HOLY SHIT ANON IM SO SORRY I CANT READ YOU MEANT A READER THAT BOXES NOT A READER THAT LIKES BOXES IM GONNA CRY 😭😭😭😭 IM GONNA MAKE ANOTHER POST FOR A READER THAT BOXES IM SO SORRY

Warnings: none (boxes jumpscare, graphic depictions of cardboard)

Pauling

• Girlie is like “huh” but doesn’t really care because all the other mercs are equally if not more insane (and we all know the admin is, too)

• When she finds out, she finds it kinda funny, gives her a tiny break from being a workaholic 25/8

• “What do you find so fascinating about them?” Ms. Pauling says, genuinely curious. You explain that they’re just nice, they itch your brain the right way, and just like how a child sees one of those huge appliance boxes. “Oh, yeah, that makes sense, actually. Interesting. Never would have thought about that.”

• ✨the box hoard TM✨ is probably just in a corner or a closet somewhere

• She’ll probably ask if she can have any because they’d be really nice for sorting paper work

• Up to you, but maybe you give her a few you don’t like as much

Sniper

• bro is confuzzled

• thinks you’re crazy

• exits the room

• (no)

• like Pauling, he’s a bit confused, but after explaining how it’s like that feeling you get as a kid seeing a package arrive in a huge box, he understands it a bit more

• probably a little weirded out by your ✨box hoard✨ anyway

• calls you a cat 😞

• I feel like he’d be the kind who might get annoyed at the box board being around, thinking it takes up space and it needs to be tidied

• might get something to help you organize the boxes

Scout

• finds it absolutely positively hilarious cannot stop laughing

• “What? You like boxes?”

• Shoves you in boxes because it’s funny 😔

• after explaining the whole “it just sorta itches my brain like when a kid sees an empty box something was in” thing, he’s like “oh my gosh, that totally makes sense, actually!”

• 10/10 would just chill in one your boxes even if it’s a little small

• weird but wholesome headcannons that you two would fall asleep/cuddle in your boxes together

• honestly though after a while I feel like he’d join your box hobby

• he might ask for the boxes after someone gets a delivery or orders something just for you

• drawing on the boxes!!!

Medic

• Blud is like “ok cool”

• prob gives you boxes leftover from shipments of medical supplies like plastic bits (I wouldn’t take the ones from his shipments of animal organs 😬)

• those boxes might smell like the med lab 😔

• but I mean if you enjoy his scent or something then it’s probably a nice reminder

• when you talk about how a kid would react when a giant box shows up in the mail and how it never went away he gets it

Pyro

• you know for a fact bro is playing with them

• completely understands right off the bat you do not have to explain anything

Spy

• boxtrot taunt

Demo

• too drunk to give a shite

• you may or may not find some bottles in the boxes

Engie

• May have some boxes kicking around to give you

• kinda doesn’t get it but when you explain he’s just like “ok then guess ur just quirky like that”

Soldier

• I’m gonna follow Electrro64rus and say this man is crazy about boxes

• very excited when he finds out you like collecting boxes

• don’t have to explain why you collect boxes, dude is just excited to also participate

Heavy

• utter confusion

• even when you explain it still utter confusion

[julianalvarez9]

i think he knows / ruben dias

summary: ruben knows exactly what you're thinking -because he's thinking about it too, has been thinking about it for so long. but he wants you to do something about it. until you do.

warnings: bold and italic text = song lyrics (i think he knows, by taylor swift). again, badly traslated portuguese (sorry, ruben anon, didn't want to bother you 😭). mentions of alcohol and the consumption of. use of john and jack as plot devices bc they do almost nothing jajajaj. like, one mention of "inappropriate" dancing??? don't know if i've forgotten anything else.

wc: 1.3k words.

i think he knows his footprints on the sidewalk lead to where i can't stop, go there every night.

"ruben, you need to stop bringing me to these places", you huff, annoyed, while holding the jacket he draped over your shoulders to try and keep you warm in the cold, manchester night. the walk from his car to the club's entrance wasn't that long, but you didn't want to go out in the first place: only accompanying your best friend because he asked you to.

once he closes the passenger side door behind you, he places his warm hand against your small back, and you start walking by his side, hoping the cold hair hitting your face helps to freeze the heat inundating your cheeks. "who would i bring if not you, meu anjo?" (my angel), he asks, tilting his head like a confused dog. ruben had the widest smile on his face, and it's the same grin that had you agreeing with him to come in the first place. you curse under your breath for having a best friend so charming. after announcing your names to the employee at the door, they let you two inside the club, his hand finding yours instantly when the sea of people gets too hard to navigate.

his height proves to be of great advantage when he needs to find his teammates in the multitude. it's easier for him, just looking ahead and seeing john's fluffy hair sticking out like a sore thumb in the bar, his laugh too almost being heard through the loud music when you eventually get to them.

"ah, there they are!" city's number five starts clapping when he sees you two, approaching to greet you two: ruben, with a side hug and a pat on the back, you, with a barely-there kiss on the cheek. "i thought you two weren't coming", jack laughs from behind him, and you greet him with a confused look. "why? i thought ruben had confirmed with you".

"well, you look very pretty tonight, maybe ruben had finally-".

the winger learns to keep his mouth shut when ruben glares at him, already knowing what his mate would have said if he hadn't intercepted the sentence: "maybe ruben had finally grown a pair". it wasn't a secret to anyone, much less his teammates that heard him talking about you everyday, that he was whipped. and ruben was quite certain that you wanted him too, at least in some way, but for whatever reason, he couldn't do anything about it.

being scared wasn't an excuse. he prided himself on it, on being fearless: it's what being a defender requires, he always says. but maybe he feared more being rejected by you, and thus, losing your friendship, than getting a ball aimed directly at his face. he was sure that missing you would definitely hurt more than a black eye or a broken nose.

"a pint, yeah?" he asks, directly in your ear, once he has come back to his senses. you nod approvingly, but before he drops your hand to go find your drink, he feels your slightly smaller hand tightening over his: your silent way of asking him if he was okay. ruben only hums in affirmation, only to realize you can’t actually hear him, so he just smiles before planting a kiss on your temple, and running away.

i think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine.

the drinks keep flowing for everyone, except ruben. he’s known for not drinking alcohol, and keeping his uptight appearance at all times: that’s where his teammates balance the matter out.

“i think you should go check over your friend there,” said jack in an overly animated tone when the music subsided a little, and you turned to set your eyes on the table where ruben was seated. he had his elbows resting over the table, forearms on show due to him rolling his long sleeved white shirt up. the top buttons were messily undone, but he still looked like he was sculpted by angels. his hands were occupied by a cold glass containing some form of non-alcoholic beverage, for sure, and although it wasn’t a sight that you hadn’t seen before, it made you feel warm inside.

he divided his attention from john, who was the one keeping him company, before searching for someone in the sea of people. he stopped when he found you, but his demeanor changed when he saw jack holding tightly to your waist. the glass suddenly looked like it could burst at any minute by the amount of force he was gripping it with, and his eyebrows frowned in confusion at the thought of jack being the one holding you like that, and not him.

ruben didn’t have to think twice before downing his drink in one go, like it could provide him some kind of liquid confidence -the one that only alcohol could give you-, before standing up and making a beeline towards his teammate and you.

poor man, if he only knew that little grealish wasn’t trying to make a move on you, but rather, trying to keep his balance after having, certainly, too much to drink, his feet wouldn't have carried him to you so quickly, almost like a bull seeing red.

“john needs you over there, mate”.

wanna see what's under that attitude. like, i want you, bless my soul.

if you didn’t know your best friend so well, you might have missed the cues. but even now, while having certainly too many pints, you can recognise he’s mad.

“why are you angry?”.

he’s perplexed, like he isn’t expecting you to see right through him. in a second, his jaw unclenches, and he’s back to his usual persona: the ruben you know, the one you love. “wasn’t angry, anjo (angel), just missed you,” he says. and even if it’s not the whole truth, it’s half of it, and you try to hide the heat flowing to your cheeks by turning, his chest now flushed against you back. “dance with me, then,” you jokingly said, taking his hands into yours to settle them in your waist.

at first, he’s unsure. his hands only rest at your side, and he’s barely moving, though you keep on trying to press your body against his, even if he’s intended to keep his distance. normally, you loved this part about him, how he’s always so respectful, so caring, just so unically him. but not tonight. whether it is because of the alcohol you consumed, the place being so hot or the indecent thoughts you had about him all night -that appeared to come out of nowhere-, tonight you want to rile him up.

“god, you’re no fun. jack’s a better dancer than you”.

it seems to light something in him, because his grip tightens, and suddenly he doesn’t care about you moving your ass directly onto his crotch. instead, his body's impossibly closer to yours, at the point where you can feel his breath on your neck, fuelling the goosebumps that erupt on your skin. ruben seems to know what you're doing, or what you're trying to do, because he whispers it in your ear. "meu anjo se transformou em um demônio esta noite, não é certo?". (my angel turned into a devil tonight, isn't that right?).

when you turn to look at ruben, his eyes are the darkest you've ever seen them. even with the low and coloured lights at the club, which difficult your vision, you can feel his piercing stare. your arms go in the air, before wrapping them around his neck like it was second nature, and his hands find their home in your waist, holding you flush against him. you hope your doe eyes made him understand, without you having to verbally tell him, that you want him to take you home. and magically, it seems like the case, when he grins, his million dollar smile before taking your hand in his and dragging you towards the exit, without turning around to tell your friends -his teammates, about your sudden departure.

i ain't gotta tell him, i think he knows.

[7ndipity]

When Your Relationship Gets

Revealed

Taehyung x Idol Reader

Summary: You and Tae discuss what to do when a video of you together is leaked. Can be read as a prequel to "Try Again" or on its own.

Warnings: angst, mentions of harassment and toxic fans, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This went a little more angsty than I originally planned, but I couldn't really help it. This is really starting to turn into a full Idol!Au series, and I can't say I hate it tbh.

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You were faintly aware of a low, persistent buzzing, slowly being pulling you away from sleep by what you gradually recognized as your phone on the bedside table.

Groggily, you rolled and unlocked the device, wincing at the bright glow of the screen, only to be met with multiple notifications and missed calls from your manager and several friends.

Confused, you tapped on one of the most recent messages, which included a video link. As soon as you opened the video, you felt your heart falter to stop before taking off again at breakneck speed.

The video was of you and Tae walking through the park earlier that night, him swinging your joined hands playfully and making you laugh before pulling you to him in a tight embrace. Your faces were hidden due to how dark it was and the fact that you both had on masks, but anyone who knew you both could recognize you easily enough if they tried.

"Tae." You nudged the sleeping form next to you, but received no response. "Tae!" You shoved him a little more forcefully.

"Ow! What? What's wrong?" He whined sleepily, turning over to face you.

"Somebody saw us." You said, handing him the phone as the video played on loop.

He stared at the screen for moment, before passing the phone back to you.

"It's not that bad, we can just ignore it if you wanna." He said, trying to soothe your nerves as he had when this had happened previously.

But that was part of the problem, this had happened, several times, and was continuing to happen with increasing frequency. But every time, the two of you had chosen to brush it off or ignore it, Tae saying it was easier that way, but you were becoming less sure.

"What if I don't want to ignore it?" You asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"This is the third time this has happened this year, Tae, there's only so many times we can lie before people catch on." You explained. "I don't know, I'm just wondering if maybe it would be better to just say something. At least then, we wouldn't have to sneak around so much."

You glanced over at him, but he was staring down at the bedspread, silently. His lack of response causing a weight in your stomach to drop.

"Do-do you not want people to know we're together?" You asked in a small voice, afraid to vocalize the nagging fear that been brewing in your mind.

"No! I mean, that's not it." He scrambled to find the right words to express himself. "It's not that I don't want to tell people, I do, it's just... I'm afraid." He confessed.

"Of what?" You asked.

"You know what some people are like, how they attack and tear down Idols partners." He said, casting his gaze down again. "I don't want you to have to go through any of that."

You knew what he was referring to, you'd both seen too many friends and labelmates go through hell just for admitting they were dating someone, both online and in person. You understood his fear, but he seemed to be forgetting the scrutiny you lived under everyday already as an Idol.

"Tae, I'm already dealing with things like that, people already say things about me. It comes with the territory, unfortunately."

"You never talk about that." He said, looking up at you with big eyes.

"Because I know they only have power if I let them." You said, grasping his hand

"I don't know if I can protect you." He said quietly.

"You don't have to protect me from everything, we're supposed to take care each other, remember?"

He nodded. "So what do we do?"

"We'll figure something out, but whatever we decide, whether that's telling or not, we'll do together, alright?"

"Yeah, alright." He said, giving you a shy grin before pulling you a hug, kissing you temple.

"We'll be okay."

[unknownteapot]

In light of Courtney mentioning they would possibly want to direct a movie some day during the Q+A, what do you think a Smosh movie would look like with this current cast? Would it be similar to the original Smosh Movie? I'm imagining something similar to Smost the Sitcom Live, like a sitcom comedy maybe? Anyway you don’t have to answer, I’m just curious 🤗

anon, you are NOT ready i was BORN for this question and i'm about to type up a storm so strap in!! thank you for sending it in!!! me being a yapper + film student is not boding well for me rn...

i completely see what you mean about a sitcom/comedy type thing, their vibes during ssl were immaculate, but i also think if they *were* ever going to make a movie it'd be something vastly different from what they've done before just to keep it fresh and give people something never seen before. which is why..

i propose to you: a horror comedy about the cast getting stuck at the smosh office overnight (more below the cut)

hear me out HEAR ME OUT god im so passionate about this. this type of premise would avoid the cast having to play characters per se, they'd kind of just play 'themselves' so it's easier for the existing smosh fanbase to transition to this new movie format without it feeling gimicky/overproduced- the movie begins with just a typical end-of-video outro into the camera for smosh games (maybe only main cast and not freelance? bc full cast might be too many people for a movie idk) and then cuts out to the cast getting off the soundstage like hehe good shoot whatever whatever. but. wait a second. why is it past midnight?? quickly they're realising everyone's gone and its WAY late and they're locked in. all the clocks have stopped around the office. phones are all out of service (but show a weird little digital snake symbol as foreshadowing to something ;)

so now they're like uh-oh. what the fuck do we do. and promptly the cast splits into groups/pairs that all deal with this in their own way the movie would cut back and forth between. maybe amanda and angela deciding to steal alcohol from the kitchen and then snoop on people's desks?? finding out ian has a love locket of anthony in his drawer?? damien grows mushrooms under his desk??? olivia collect's people's candy wrappers?????? idk it could be ANYTHING which makes thsi SO FUNNY to me

BUT this is where the horror comes in, because suddenly people start going missing. and its not fun and games at all. the air feels weird, its like 3 am, everyone's losing their shit a little bit. they start regrouping to see who they can find "hey have you guys seen Angela?" "No, but Courtney just went missing too." "Guys I don't feel well.." AND LITTLE BY LITTLE. THEY START SEEING APPARITIONS. SMOSH CHARACTERS. WHO HAUNT THEM.

like i'm sorry. tell me it would NOT be hilarious for Mental Illness to come haunt the cast in an eerie ghost form??? Augustus??? insulting the cast (but hitting truths about them) making them think about their life decisions??? COURTNEY FREAKING MILLER???? JUST YELLING???? TELEPORTING AROUND THEM AND SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM>?>>>>??? god the jumpscares they could do with this insane INSANE. BIZANKA???????????????? im

BUT NOT JUST SMOSH CHARACTERS- fnaf characters in their eerie ass suits, chica demanding Amanda why she held the door so hard that one time and didn't let her in meanwhile everyone is terrified and somewhat sobbing

so now its CHAOS, they're trying to stick together to avoid getting haunted, they're trying to find their missing friends, they're running around to the footsteps of animatronics, when suddenly they find a door to some storage closet open. they walk in.

there they are!!!! all their missing friends lying passed out on the floor and.. what's this strange hissing noise and why is it kinda foggy in there.. "Oh my god!" Amanda yells out in relief that none of this was real (or was it), "There's a gas leak at the smosh office!" And then promptly passes out. So do they all. THE END.

maybe a post-credits scene of ian and anthony coming into the office in the morning and finding a MESS and them all passed out like god. we gotta put baby gates in here or some shit. they keep messing stuff up!! OR BETTER. they dont know about the cast at first and look at each other with knowing smirks like "wanna go get high :)" and then they head towards where all their friends are passed out and we find out it was actually their secret 'gas leak' spot where they get high on the regular from the gas. ian pouting like "damnit. they found our secret spot :(" anthony shruggs like "oh well" and then they prance around the room trying to huff the gas like idiots and also pass out.

more insane ideas idk how to incorporate yet:

a comedic bit where Amanda bonds with Chica from fnaf and reads her tarot cards (amanda would SO be the person to chat her up after getting over her initial fear and be like 'hey, you just need love, honey. i get it, we've all been there') and its this insane horror yet adorable moment where these two world collide?? BONUS: if the rest of the cast hide in a corner and look at her like "how is she doing this???"

Tim the IT guy actually turning out to be a hologram that haunts all the computers with snake graphics (from that one smoffice sketch 'it could happen to any one of us!') and actually gets his energy from sucking out ram from people's devices

Props and shit moving!!! just so much potential

INNOVATIVE FORMAT:

AND a great way to introduce horror elements could be through this whole 'found footage' thing- you know how in some movies you find like someone's security cam recording etc etc. they could SO integrate elements of that because the smoffice is primarily for content creation so there's LOTS of cameras everywhere

"Hey uh.. guys I think this camera's still rolling." And its us watching footage of that room through it MASTERFUL. or people recording tiktoks and we watch through their screen recording but we see stuff in the background moving before they do YEAH. the HORROR OF IT. god i love movies

okay for everyone's sanity i will now stop i was actually not expecting to type this much- anon who sent this ask, i owe you everything!! im now obsessed with this idea i wish this was real w o w

[norel-ravenclaw]

hello!! :), i would like to request a live action nami x fem reader where they go skinny dipping together for the first time, thank u!

Skinny Dipping

Nami • One Piece

Fandom: One Piece Live Action (OPLA)

Featured character: Nami

Genre: Spicy romance

Rating: 18+

Word count: 1400

Description: Skinny dipping with Nami~

(I’ve only ever seen the live action One Piece, none of the anime or manga sorry!)

Obsessed with this, so thanks anon! Also this woman helped me accept that I’m gay so I’m thrilled to see her as Nami~

WARNINGS: | gender neutral reader | basically heavy kissing and petting |

From the other side of the beach, Nami and I stand exhausted yet wired as Luffy screams something about a pistol. And just like that, it’s all over. All around us, crates and driftwood blaze. A ship is sinking off shore, with pirates screeching and shouting blame.

Zoro marches off past us, muttering under his breath and not waiting another second to get back to the Going Merry. “Fuckin pirates.”

Nami’s hair is lightly smoking. “Hell, we need a vacation.”

Sanji follows after Zoro. “And a long, hot bath.”

I finally sheath my sword. “Yep.”

~~~

Back on the ship, we all help patch each other up and make an easy meal before going our separate ways to chill.

When Nami heads towards the railing to let down the gangplank, I call after her.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she gestures towards the island. “We passed by some tide pools earlier. They should be filled nicely now. Come join me.”

Aching everywhere but not wanting her to be alone on the island with survivors from Luffy’s latest (and rather ironic) dream-crushing escapade, I follow after her.

The blazing heat of the afternoon has died down some as we walk down the beach. Both too tired to say anything, I find myself glancing at her frequently, wondering how the graze wound on her shoulder is doing.

She doesn’t miss a thing as she gives me a side eye. “Either you’re trying to have a telepathic conversation with me or you’re undressing me with your eyes.”

“W-what?! No! I mean, no. I was just wandering how your shoulder is, that’s all.”

She shoots me a smirk. “Is that all?”

Blushing hard, I nod urgently. “Yeah.”

“Hm. Well that’s no fun.”

My step falters a bit in shock. I haven’t been on the crew for long, and have desperately tried to keep my infatuated crush on her a secret. So to have her flirting with me? Maybe?!

I clear my throat and catch up. “No? Then what kind of fun do you want?”

Reaching a line of boulders, she nimbly climbs up and looks back over her shoulder at me. The setting sun sets her ablaze in a phenomenal silhouette.

“Like I said.” My breath catches in my throat as she suddenly takes off her shirt. “Join me.”

My jaw is hanging slack as she drops the rest of her clothes on the rock and jumps into the water on the other side.

After a momentary mental reboot, I scramble up the rock, and am shocked by the tropical paradise awaiting beyond. A perfect ring of rock around a turquoise pool glittering in the sunset’s glow. Tropical plants and palm trees sway in the warm evening breeze. And in the water, Nami’s shock of fiery hair flows around her blissed out face as she swims, the water obscuring her bare form beneath.

“Well? Are you just going to stand there like a creep or are you gonna join me?”

“R-right. Coming!”

Trying not to overthink things (like being an idiot trying to make a show of getting naked for her) I pull off my clothes, quickly folding both our outfits so they’re easier to get into when wer’re done.

“Alright, um, coming in.” Taking a breath, I jump off into the pool.

The sudden sensation of the water enveloping me lasts only a moment before my aching muscles instantly thank me. I groan in relief at the feeling of the grime and sweat being swept away.

But then I remember that Nami is naked right next to me. IM naked right next to her. And my heart sets off racing again.

She laughs at my awkwardness and splashes some water at me. “Are ya just gonna sit there or what?”

I gasp at the sudden assault, and smirk back at her. “Oh you’ve done it now.”

Next thing we know, we’re engaged in a heated water fight, which ends with me cornered by some rocks as Nami boxes me in.

Once she’s too close for me to splash her anymore, I pull my hands back - but not before accidentally brushing her waist.

“Sorry,” I mumble.

But her eyes lock on me with a different kind of intensity. “No it’s okay.”

We stare at each other, panting a little from our game. The sun is sinking below the horizon now, leaving the most vibrant colour being her hair. …That beautiful hair sticking to her face and shoulders in sensual strands.

“You can do it again if you want.”

I can feel my face heating up. “…What?”

She moves closer, her legs brushing mine. “Like this.” I gasp as her hands go to my waist. I can’t stop myself from glancing at her lips, glistening with droplets of water.

The feel of her skin on mine under the water has my senses nearly overstimulated. “Nami…”

Her expression softens a little as she chuckles at me. “I’m telling you it’s okay. Go for it.”

There’s no holding back now. I reach out to touch her waist as well, misjudging due to the water’s altered perception - and end up grabbing onto her hips instead. I stare into her sharp blue eyes, watching every reaction as I caress her skin.

She puts her hands on my shoulders and suddenly leans in to kiss me. We part and come back again and again, trying new angles and exploring each other’s lips and tongues. I rub along her waist and back, sometimes teasing down her hips.

After she thrusts her tongue into my mouth, I grab her ass and pull her closer. The feeling of her nibbles brushing against my chest makes me gasp and moan out loud.

“Nami…” I dive in for more, attacking her neck and collarbones with kisses.

Using my shoulders for leverage, she moves to straddle one of my thighs, pressing herself against it. We both moan at the feeling, and I’m delighted that the new position lifts her out of the water enough for her small breasts to be exposed.

I lean in to kiss and gently suck at the gentle curve of her chest while she rubs herself against me. When she moans out my name, I can’t help but squeeze her ass. She reaches up to play with my nipple, but I quickly redirect her hand to her own breast. She moans appreciatively, pleasuring herself with more vigour.

We lose ourselves in the lazy yet frantic pleasure as the night settles around us. I kiss her until both our lips and her nipples are swollen.

Her moans become higher pitched as she gets closer, and I help guide her hips to keep up the rhythm of her grinding.

“That’s it. Cum all over my thigh.” I reach down to rub at her clit myself, and she whimpers urgently. Her hips buck against my hand until her whole body is wracked with undulating spasms.

I hold her waist securely as she rides out her high, finally dropping her head on top of my own.

“Damn, that was good,” she pants.

I rub her thigh comfortingly. “Yeah? You look like you’re in heaven.”

She moves down to meet my eye and kisses me again.

Just then, we hear voices from a distance.

“Damn, they’ll find us,” she complains. Looking back at me, I can see her expression twist a little in the moonlight. “You did’t get your turn.”

I smile at her and kiss the tip of her nose. “I’d do anything for you, you know. Use me for your pleasure anytime. It’s worth it to see you feeling so good.”

At this, she freezes a little, and I wonder if she’s blushing. “…Thanks.”

Happy to have gotten to see her shy, I chuckle. “Come on, let’s get dressed, milady.”

I help her up to the rocks (given that her thighs are still shaking) and hand her the clothes I’d folded earlier. We race to dress before Usopp’s voice is close enough that we can shout out a reply.

“Nami! Y/n! Where’d you guys go?”

“Yeah yeah, we’re coming! Don’t get yourself in a snit!”

I smirk at her annoyed tone, and again she looks at me a little bashfully. Fuck that’s adorable…

Hearing them getting closer, I reach over to help pull her shirt down over her stomach as she tugs her pants on.

Standing so close, she whispers, “So uh, anytime, you said?”

Unable to hold back my smile, I give her a quick kiss. “Any damn time at all.”

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Sometimes I'm still a bit confused about Levi's choice or rather with Isayama's philosophy about death. Like yes Levi let Erwin rest to preserve his humanity and free him from his guilt and suffering right? But that sounds like people that are broken never have a chance of healing, which kinda contradicts Levi's ending because Levi (seemingly) was able to atleast find peace, and also how him and Hange were talking about how Erwin would be excited and try to feed the car carrots and buy the whole ice cream cart. Sometimes it feels like Levi gave up on Erwin, because he clearly didn't believe Erwin is broken to the point he can't heal, am I wrong? Idk I just feel like it contradicts itself sometimes and I don't like this philosophy of death being the only way to heal/save someone especially when it contradicts itself with the ending. Like i realise Levi has a different personality and is stronger mentally but the way Isayama and co. talked about how much Erwin's death affected him and how much Levi loves Erwin and how Levi is Erwin's stronghold, and also that Isayama or Kamiya quote that goes something like "To Levi, as long as Erwin was okay and as long as he was by his side, everything will be ok" it's just kinda hard to believe that death was the only way to save Erwin especially because he didn't neccesarily wanna die? I hope you understand my question, I was kinda rambled a bit there my bad 😭

Anonymous asked

Levi letting Erwin rest feels a bit like he was beyond saving and sometimes I have a hard time accepting the philosophy, especially since Isayama contradicts that mindset in his own writing sometimes. I don't think Levi thinks Erwin was beyond saving, and if he did it seems like he gave up on Erwin kinda? Erwin didn't seem suicidal, he was just burdened with guilt but also Levi was his stronghold? It's hard making sense of Levi's choice sometimes tbh, he himself seems like he thinks life is worth living even if the world is shit, because there are some things worth living for, even though there will always be pain and something missing. I don't know if you get my point hahaha but maybe you can explain your view of this? Especially because Levi says he has no regrets makes me think doesn't he ever think of what could have been or if he did something different? I know he's the type of person to not look back because you can’t change it anyways, but he's still human and we know he thinks of Erwin like "If Erwin was here..." and he misses him. Help, I love eruri but i always had trouble with this.

I’m going to answer both these asks together because I suspect they’re from the same person. The first one has been in my inbox for months now, so I apologise for taking so long to answer. 

So, this is an interesting one.  As Anon has said, there’s a perception among some fans that the reason Levi chose not to give Erwin the Titan serum, is that he had reached such chronic depths of despair and depression that the only way to save him was to let him die.  Some fans are understandably unhappy about this because it implies that people with depression are beyond recovery, or as Anon puts it, “people that are broken never have a chance of healing”.  However there’s a fundamental misunderstanding here about why Levi made the decision to let Erwin die.  It’s true that Erwin suffered from guilt and despair as he struggled to reconcile his desire to fulfil his dream with his duty to save humanity (despite the fact that both goals were entirely in line).  And it’s true that in chapter 80 he said that there were many times that he thought it would be easier to die, however to understand Levi’s decision you need to turn to chapter 84.  Levi’s initial decision is to use the Titan serum to revive Erwin, but there are two things that convince him to change his mind. The first is Floch’s insistence that Erwin is the devil who deserves to spend more time in hell because only the devil himself can destroy the Titans.  (Floch was right about that, but he was wrong about who the devil was.) This is what starts to turn the tide and change Levi’s mind.  Erwin had already become the devil because that’s what humanity demanded of him and Levi did not want to drag him back to hell and compound his torment by turning him into a literal monster. 

The second is his remembrance of Erwin’s pursuit of his dream, and Kenny’s parting words that “everyone is a slave to something”.  Levi knew that Erwin was enslaved by his dream and he understood the toll that had taken on him, but he was able to give Erwin his humanity back by absolving him of his guilt and setting him on the path he knew he had to take. This is why Erwin looks at peace when he thanks Levi, and this is why Levi makes his decision.  In death Erwin would finally be free from the hell of the world and his enslavement to his dream. 

Isayama makes this crystal clear in the Character Encyclopaedia. 

As to whether Levi regretted his decision, that’s a different question. It’s worth remembering that Levi’s no regrets philosophy isn’t that you should never regret your actions, it’s that you should try to take the course of action you’ll least regret, which is a bit different.  By letting Erwin die, Levi took the path he believed he would regret the least, and later in the manga he is unequivocal that he has no regrets about not choosing to revive Erwin.  This is hardly surprising given everything they have been through and the appalling odds they faced attempting to stop Eren’s catastrophic genocide. I don’t think that means he doesn’t miss Erwin though, it’s clear that Erwin, and the vow he swore to him are never far from his thoughts, right to the bitter end.

One thing I’m curious about is why this argument has sprung up in recent years. I don’t remember anyone interpreting Levi’s actions in this light when Midnight Sun was first published.  I suspect it’s partly due to lack of familiarity with the supplementary materials such as the Answers book and Character Guide, where Isayama spells out his intentions, and partly due to the benefit of hindsight. People see Levi living his best life with Gabi, Falco and Onyankopon and are sad that Erwin isn’t there, that he didn’t have the opportunity to live on with Levi after the war.  I understand that, I’m sad that Erwin didn’t live to see the end of the war too, but when I think about how much more of his humanity he would have had to sacrifice in order to get there, I can’t help thinking that Levi made the right decision. 

[little-pocket-medic]

i’ve been sorta avoiding medic all week out of nerves, but i really need some healing.

i’m in the medbay, trying to explain myself to him. he looks exasperated… and kind of distressed? like seeing me hurt is upsetting him more than usual.

see, doc, i was climbin’ a tree, trying to get a picture of this really cool bird i thought you would like, and i kinda sorta may have fell out of it.

twenty feet out of it.

so uh… i hold up my left arm. it’s pointing in a direction that i’m fairly certain arms are not supposed to point.

listen, i know you’re kinda too small to really use the medigun right now, but maybe you could talk me through it? i can’t find engie anywhere and who knows how long he’ll be gone, and my arm really, really hurts.

he cautiously agrees. i know he hates it when other people touch his stuff, but i do my best to reassure him that i’ll be good and do exactly what he says.

i bend down so he can hitch a ride on my unharmed shoulder. he instructs me on how to use the ceiling-mounted medigun- press this button, turn this knob, set these numbers on its control panel. seems like this model packs more of a punch than his portable battlefield one.

i push the power lever forward and shudder with relief as the red energy flows into my arm, setting the bones into place and knitting them back together. when it’s done, i wiggle my fingers. it’s like nothing ever happened.

damn, doc, this is pretty satisfying. i can see why you like doing it… why you miss doing it. hey, don’t look so sad, doc, i’m sure you and engie can fix this crazy size thing soon. it’s not like you’re gonna be tiny forever…. right?

he’s leaning against my neck now, so i can’t really see him, but his breath sounds a little shaky. is he scared of heights?

i carefully pick him up off my shoulder and cradle him in my hands to get a better look at him. he’s hiding his face. why?

i hear a tiny sniffle.

oh.

doc, hey, are you okay? listen, don’t cry- i’m really sorry if i made ya sad. doc, i promise you won’t stay this size forever. and even if you did, i’d still lo-

shit. i didn’t mean to say that. well, i’ve gone this far.

i’d.. still love ya, doc.

and- and i mean that! yes, i’m serious. listen, i’m really sorry to have told ya when you’re havin’ a breakdown and all that but i’ve been overthinkin’ that note like “what if he takes it the wrong way and hates me” or “what if he thinks i’m just makin’ fun of him” and i been sick with worry all week and i couldn’t frickin’ take it anymore!

what?

no, of course it’s not just sexual, doc, i don’t see you as- as some sort of object. i like you. as a person. for reals.

🫀 anon

TW: Angst, mentions of arm injury/sex. Nothing graphic.

Medic let out a tired sigh. Writing in his journal wasnt the same as it used to be- therapeutic. Calming. But now, he's just struggling to hold a pencil.

A pencil. He could barely hold a pencil.

The team had been struggling without him recently. Tales of their losses always found their way back to him- tales of his failure.

Sure, being small was fun for a bit. But it long outlasted it's welcome. He just wanted to be back to his old routine. His old small talk with Engineer after battles. His chess games with Heavy.

....his bickerings with Scout.

As Scout came into the medbay, Medic pulled his notebook shut. He turned to him, frowning at the state of his arm and the likely false story.

He couldn't do much with it right now. He could have Scout try and cast it, but it was very likely he'd mess it up and cause more issues. Well, Medic could talk him through the Medi-gun. Worth a shot.

The Doctor explained how to use the ceiling mounted healing device in a low, monotone voice. He didn't do it on purpose- the lack of sleep and the abundance of stress simply took a toll.

He climbs onto his shoulder, getting a better view and allowing the other to hear easier.

Scout seemed to get most of what he said, as the runners arm went back into place. He rambles as he usually does, trying to reassure the Doctor that it wouldn't last forever.

Would it last forever?

Medic grabbed his sleeve and leaned against Scouts neck. It very well could- Engineer normally fixed problems very quickly; This was taking weeks.

Scout seems to take note, picking the little German up and holding him in his wrapped hands.

Now in view, Medic has a harder time concealing his sorrows. Normally he's rather good at it- but with everything piling on...

In an effort to retract his previous statement, The runner let's something slip.

'I love you, doc.'

No, you don't. Medic says, almost angry, in a stern tone. 'You don't even know me...' He wanted to add, but didn't. He already said too much.

He listened to Scouts talk about how he didn't just see him sexually, but he might as well of been on mute. Medic wasn't listening anymore.

Unless you vish to torment me furzher, you may leave. He says, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. Talk to Engineer about zhis. I'm not paid to be your zherapist...

Cold. Even for Medic. His emotions were getting the better of him.

While never conventionally kind, Medic always had his ways of showing he loved his fellow mercenaries. This was out of character.

[dourpeep]

being so used to hardass mean roommate kunikuzushi that when u come home really late one night for whatever reason ur shocked to find him crying in his sleep. and then comforting hin bc ydk what else to do. im normal about him.

- mean xiao (hi lol)

omg! Welcome back mean xiao anon!! You have been missed nodnod--I hope that you were able to get the peep you were trying to get (I've forgotten who idhfoiseh but I remember you were rolling for someone last time you were hanging out around here ehe)

AND ALSO ALSO ALSO are you excited?? It's finally time-

Scaramouche is coming home and all Scara wanters are going to be Scara havers def not because most Scara wanters have been waiting for years now and have been saving up since his initial appearance. some people's resolve scares me

But YES

gimme a moment I got side tracked again- (also going back after writing, I honestly intended to put more comfort but as you know roommate Scara has a mind of his own, so we'll just say that he and reader aren't really close yet)

Honey Milk Tea

Summary: You're tired, it's late, and your usually pain-in-the-ass roommate...is crying? Contains: Modern au, roommates, roommate!Scaramouche, fluff, comfort (??), awkward roommate situations, maybe a little bit of underlying feelings whether platonic or romantic-

You had to stay later for work again today.

Something happened and, for reasons that you'd rather be unaware of, the night crew called out (again, for the second time within a week), so you were stuck until your coworker could come in nearly three hours after your shift should've ended. A heavy sigh heaves, following the familiar gesture of your key turning in the door's lock, and you finally relax the moment you step into your apartment.

Unsurprisingly, it's dark.

Scaramouche likely retired a while ago, you note, considering that the clock’s hands are pointed decidedly at a time that you’d rather be in bed yourself.

With a stretch, you shuck off your shoes and coat. They’re set besides the entrance, and you know that you’ll get an earful later about leaving your stuff laying around, but the effort required to put them up in the entryway closet seems just a little bit too much to handle. You’ll make sure to apologize in the form of a cup of coffee if you manage to get up before him.

Though...you look at it one more time before deciding that you’re satisfied with the halfheartedly folded article of clothing.

It’s another minute before you finally walk into the combined living area and kitchen, and then another before you decide against a midnight snack despite the tempting idea of a quick meal to make your way towards the small hallway leading to the rooms. The longer that you spend awake, the longer that you’ll have to wait until you’re comfortable and asleep in bed, after all. Or, at least that the logic that you decided on tonight.

And then, you hear the soft sound of breathing.

There, on the couch, cheek pressed into the armrest and legs dangling haphazardly off, is your roommate. In the dimness of the apartment, you easily could have mistaken him for a stray blanket. But the closer you get (careful to take as quiet steps as possible) the easier it is to squint and see his familiar features.

He shifts, and for a moment you’re worried that you woke him, until he settles. Bangs falling from where they sat tucked behind his ear, he mumbles.

Huh.

Who knew he talked in his sleep?

“...breathe...”

You hold your own breath, hesitating in your spot when his brows scrunch up and his arm drags to rest across his forehead.

“...should breathe.”

Scaramouche’s expression shifts, the corners of his lips tugging down and you wonder about what he’s dreaming of. He must be, since he shows no sign of acknowledging you, right? His frown deepens while you’re left in your thoughts and, if you didn’t know better, you’d ask him what’s wrong.

But the silence continues and he shifts until he’s properly laid across the couch (good for him, you muse).

You know. You should probably go ahead and go to sleep yourself. Change out of your work clothes, maybe do a few stretches to relieve the ache in your back, and close your eyes. Except...you can’t seem to tear yourself away. Not when Scaramouche suddenly whimpers.

It’s a soft sound, pained and almost resigned. Like an eon’s worth of waiting only to be disappointed, but still being vulnerable enough for it to hurt.

His features relax, if only a bit, but the frown stays.

“...you promised...”

Suddenly, he looks hurt.

He turns on his side and his arm falls from his head down in front of his chest, fingers twitching.

It’s then that he starts to cry.

A tear beads and slips down from the corner of his eye, just enough to catch whatever meager light rests in the darkness, and wets the worn fabric of the couch. Another follows, and another.

And then, Scaramouche awakens.

He sits up straight, furiously rubbing at his eyes with white-knuckled fists even though the tears don’t stop. They continue to slip past.

“Shit. Shit-”

Tearing away from his face, he hits the back of the couch, eyes shut tight and teeth worrying at a wobbling lip he’d really rather not have. You could only imagine why, all things considered.

And you only imagined for a little bit longer before you were met with a furious glare.

“Why are you here? Go the fuck to sleep already.”

You didn’t want to ask, not that you weren’t curious. So, instead you offer a hopefully reassuring smile.

“Late shift. I had to cover for Jamie because they called out. Same with Bryce.”

The silence that follows is uncomfortable.

It’s weird to see your roommate so vulnerable—a few tears still streaming down his flushed cheeks from red and puffy eyes despite the clearly inconvenienced expression. Maybe it was the late hour, or perhaps the extra three hours, but you found yourself doing something you didn’t expect.

“...are you alright?”

He prickles at that, visibly. But then the tears start up anew and his shoulders shake in silence and he turns away to try to rid himself of them. 

“I know we don’t really talk much, but I’m always ready to listen if you need it. Really.”

Scaramouche shakes his head, pointedly keeping himself face away from you, but you see the way that his shoulders loosen.

The moment that his tears reduce to sniffles, he stands up.

It takes only about ten large strides for him to make his way across the living area to the kitchen sink. After a few splashes of cold water and a vigorous wiping with a handful of paper towels, he finally takes in a deep breath.

“There’s no need to waste words on something that’s in the past.”

The light turns on with a click and your apartment floods with light. Leaning against the counter with crossed arms, he still refuses to meet your eyes.

“It’s whatever. Do you want a cup, or not?”

Despite the underlying discomfort, Scaramouche forgoes your lack of an answer to fish two mugs from the cabinet, crossing over to fill the kettle with water and clicking the stovetop on. You watch as he grabs a box of chamomile from the side and sets a bag in each mug before tapping his fingers impatiently against the countertop.

The water comes to a boil much quicker than expected, and before you know it there’s a fresh, warm cup of honey milk tea pushed in front of you.

Nursing his own close to his face, Scaramouche watches you. He takes a sip.

“It tastes better when it’s still hot.”

“Oh--right, thank you.”

And it really does.

You take a deep drink, relishing in the light sweetness and comfort, missing the way that he seems to relax more at your acceptance, how he seems to not look away from you once. The drink is finished too soon for either of your liking.

When you thank him again, he shrugs it off, setting your cup besides his in the sink to deal with in the morning.

Soon enough, the lights flick back off and the two of you head down the hall to part ways.

It’s not until your door closes and he’s sure you’re occupied with getting ready for bed that he mutters a quiet thank you to the quiet hall. Tonight, he’s sure that his dreams will be sweeter.

Note: I like to think he's pretty bad at feelings so he goes about resolving things himself and by that I mean burying them in the form of making a cup of tea in hopes of calming his nerves

[indras-wife]

Heyyy!! Can you write a headcanon of the Uchiha men(include Indra too please!!) waking up in a female body? How will they react to that? What will they do?

Ohhh Anon, what a wonderful request! Lets see these men's reactions to waking up as a woman.

Indra

This man realizes there's something wrong with him the moment he opens his eyes. His shock cannot be described by words when he moved the covers of his bed and sees his changed body. His toned, muscular body now was gone being replaced by soft female body

He tries to stay calm and think of his following actions for the day. First, he tries to think WHY he ended up in this body. He didnt consume anything or practice any jutsu that could alter his body.

After maybe an hour of thinking, an answer could not be found and Indra gave up. It was nearing for his early morning training, and he was not going to miss it no matter what. Even being turned into a female cannot stop it.

He dresses up, trying his best to bind his chest to make it easier fooling people around him. For his face, he applied his blue eyeliner under his eyes and finished with his face. Heavens blessed him with soft feminine features so Indra was not worried about his face as much as he was worried about his body.

The other thing he was worried about was...his voice. His now deep voice was changed to a feminine one and he knew that if he spoke, everyone would figure there's something wrong. Indra sighed, feeling helpless at the situation he is in.

When it was time for training, Indra's annoyance was doubled. His body was now unable to keep up with him, which resulted in a failed training session. His day kept getting worse and now there was really nothing this man could do. Except maybe waiting for the weird phenomena to pass.

Madara

Waking up in a body that isn't his is a catastrophic event for this man. Where has his majestic, glorified body went to? Why is he in a woman's body? His head spins with questions which he knows cant be answered.

He think its an evil joke that his "best friend" played on him, and if his thought was right, then he will definitely be getting revenge from Hashirama.

Usually Madara would always take cold morning showers, to wake him up and to make him more energetic, but this morning he decided to break his habit, not wanting to see whatever his body looked like now. It was already shocking enough for him.

He cursed each time he tried wearing his robes, as now they not only didn't fit him, but his now body proportions were not doing a good job at trying to conceal his new problem. Women with big chests were always his favorite, but now he is starting to hate big chests.

Nevertheless, he was able to find a way to conceal his new identity. Madara wasted no time and headed to the Senju residence, to get explanation to his looks.

"Wait...you mean you...woke up in a woman's body..?!?!"Hashirama spoke loudly. Madara hated Hashirama for being such a loud man, and he hated himself more for being this man's friend. He pushed Hashirama to his room, in hopes that no one heard their loud leader.

After spending some good 30 minutes on laughing at him, saying that its his karma for being so rude to people, especially women, Hashirama calmed down, trying to help his friend understand the root of the issue. He knew Madara could not go out with his current form, because...he would grab the attention of EVERYONE, be it male or female.

"You know you look pretty hot like this though. If I didn't know your real self, I would definitely mistaken you for a hot woman and try to persuade you~" Hashirama, with his dumb jokes was making Madara angrier with each second. He needed to get rid of whatever he was in, as he had important meetings for the whole day and could not be present while looking like that.

Of course, luck was not on his side as he was unable to change and get his body back.

Izuna

First thing in his head when he sees his new body? Where is his dick? His best attribute is stripped of him without his knowledge.

Unlike his brother, Izuna gets adjusted to his new body very fast. He knows female body very good thanks to him whoring sleeping around, but he is for sure not against the idea of a proper examination. He stands in front of the mirror, touching his body all around: pinching, tickling, rubbing. Everything that crosses his mind

He loves his body better, but Izuna cant help but notice how good he looks even in female body. He loves that this body comes with big natural heaters, aka boobs. He also love how his face looks more feminine now. He looks perfect both as a man and a woman, and it boosts his self-esteem.

All fun and games, but Izuna realises he has to let someone know of this, someone like his brother. He knows Madara will find a way to help him get out of such situation.

Izuna entered his brother's office, looking to find him. When Madara saw him, he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Izuna...what is the meaning of this..? Why do you look like that?" Little die he know, Izuna's appearance wasn't intentional and he really woke up in this body.

Madara, not knowing what to say or do, instructed Izuna to not appear in public and be in his room mostly, till Madara figures out what to do to help him. This of course made Izuna happier becaUse he could be lazy all day long and not get yelled at by Madara.

He uses his free time in exploring the wonders of female body, not knowing when the heaven would stop. He would not mind staying in female body for a long time, but he LOVES his real body so he hopes some cure can be found for this thing.

[charmedreincarnation]

you probably won’t answer this and rightly so but idk what’s wrong or holding me back cause i always get symptoms, i know the next thing is for me to enter and i don’t. I obviously won’t be giving up but i see such great success stories (mostly your anons) about how they persisted and entered and i continue to persist but it doesn’t happen and idk why. I have worked out my doubts and fears and i genuinely know nothing is holding me back.

I am not dwelling in this negativity of me not entering but i guess the reason why i am sending this to you is because i want to know if i’m missing something? i promise you i’m good (no negative self talk) i worked so hard to be at this stage, but just confused about what’s not clicking

Here’s what i do:

relax my bod, stay still

listen to a sub while taking deep breaths, i affirm

i try to keep my mind focused on just the affirmations and breathing

i get symptoms

i know, i really believe i’ll tap in and continue to do what i’m doing

but i don’t enter

(i try to do the theta method where i visualise myself in water and space but can’t continue to do it for long because it does the opposite of relax for me?)

if you end up answering, i appreciate it a lot! thank you maya!! hope you’re having a good day!

Hi love! I get a lot of asks like this or very similar ones, and I really can't tell you what you are supposedly doing right or wrong because I’m not there, and I’m not you. And to be real, you might not even be doing anything wrong in the first place.

From what you've shared, it sounds like you're already doing a lot of things right. You're listening to subs, focusing on your affirmations and breathing, and you've even attempted the theta method (though I understand if it doesn't work for everyone).

I’m sure you already know if you’re this far, but the law always emphasizes the importance of feeling natural about your desired state. If you're constantly aware that you're trying to manifest something, it might create a sense of separation between you and your desired state. Instead, try to assume a state of already having what you want. Feel it to be natural. Live in the end. That’s what my experience was at least.

Regardless there are a plethora of methods out there that exist to help you on your journey. Each one is unique and tailored to address different issues that you might be facing. So, if you think you have a problem, rest assured there's a method where that issue won't exist.

Maybe you're too focused on symptoms, which, by the way, are just your body falling asleep. They're not an external sign pointing to something else. While it's a good thing that your body is relaxing and preparing for sleep, remember that your goal is to detach from your physical body. Try affirming "I am not my body, and symptoms don't affect me" while you experience these symptoms.

Visualization can also be a helpful tool like you said. If imagining yourself floating in space and being sucked into the void visualization doesn't work for you, try a different scene. Maybe it's the mountain tops, or maybe it's being comforted in bed with someone you find safe. The key is to tailor the visualization to what makes you feel comfortable and relaxed.

If awake methods are too distracting for you, it’s fine. There are plenty of sleep methods available. These methods focus on using the state between wakefulness and sleep (like the hypnagogic state) to shift your awareness. They can be less intense and easier to practice than awake methods.

And if you're looking for something more unconventional, there are other methods out there. I recently posted about a reverse psychology method, and there are more in my masterlist. Plus, @gorgeouslypink discusses many different void methods that tackle a variety of issues.

In your journey, the answer you're seeking will always lie within yourself. It's about understanding your own rhythms, your own energy, and your own paths to relaxation and manifestation.

Start by writing down what works best for you. What practices make you feel the most relaxed? Is it a specific method or a combination of several? Maybe it doesn’t even exist but doing that particular thing helps you. Or, at this point, is it just setting an intention and letting yourself do your own thing, knowing that what you desire is already yours?

You are the best judge of what works for you. I can guide you, provide suggestions, and share different methods, but ultimately, you are the one who knows what feels right.

Maybe Instead of trying to force the method in your next attempt to reach the void, ask yourself what you think you should be doing.

Trust your intuition. It's always with you and can guide you towards your desired state. calming your mind and living in the present moment will always help. At any point you can tap into your subconscious mind, where all your answers lie.

So, pay attention to your inner voice. It's always speaking, always guiding. Even when you're not actively seeking answers, it's there, speaking with you.

Also, if you’re “knowing” the same way you knew I wouldn’t answer this ask even though I am, that might also be your issue. Thinking and knowing are different things. If you’re telling and convincing yourself you’re going to tap into the void while also in your mind knowing you won’t at the same time, you’re better off attempting with an altered state of consciousness like a hypnagogia or SP.

[frikatilhi]

I'm just catching up and read your thoughts on the Bojere Universe's potential (or lack thereof) for a long-term happy ending and honestly I do love the angst potential of this whole situation. The idea of the two of them knowing that there's something between them, that they could be Something - not just something, that they could be great together - but also knowing that it just wouldn't be feasible with the lives they lead and the plans they have, that sooner or later it would become unsustainable and that would just hurt too much. So they never cross that line, not because they're unsure of each other's feelings, but because if they don't know what they're missing out on, it's easier to pretend they're fine with it. But sometimes during a late night call, when there's a lull in the conversation, one of them will go "I wish..." and the other one will just respond "yeah, me too."

(and then they find a way to make it work and their friends help them figure it out and they're happy together and split their time between Finland and Slovenia because actually I can't stand unhappy endings sfhgdfsj)

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, ANON! Please, can I order 10K more (with the happy ending plis)

...I mean, I strongly agree. The what-ifs and should-haves and maybes aroung this whole thing makes for delicious angst, and I'm here for it.

And even if you don't bring shipping into it, the sadness of sad bojere bitches comes from the fact how they have this great thing between them, but they can only be together very little, and the unrealised potential of the whole situation is just, well, sad.

[the-raindeer-king]

That is exactly what I mean and if you don't like talking about him(I understand people can find body horror uncomfortable, absolutely no shame I just got excited) you don't have to answer, I promise it's all good!

But yes!!! He is absolutely horrifying. You knew him before? Simon is a scared, difficult, rough person who shows care in such subtle ways.

And then he comes home again, it should be the same. But instead you have a walking abomination of... Him. (It looks like 3 different versions of him. But that tattoo looks like Soap's on the arm, and it looks like Gaz's hat on his belt so👀) And he's so different but so similar. Sometimes he might do something so vaguely 'him' but just different enough that it's near uncanny (again, multiple shoved into 1 body yk?)

And sometimes those three try to do all at once, making his mouths garble with intent that doesn't come through. Or multiple arms try to do the same thing at once and get in the way, or do multiple different things and he fumbles for a moment, pausing to recollect and try again.

(not to go on, but the monster fanatic in me is absolutely jumping out rn)

And I just wonder how that extends to you. His partner. Does each variation have different ways of referring and you can use the terms to distinguish who's really leading the body? Can you tell by the way his hands grab or pet or embrace?

You have to kiss each head though. They get grumbly if they miss a kiss, especially if the other heads get one.

It would be amusing watching him to to fight himself, but best we not do that.

I've been referring to him as the Cerberus or Cerberus Ghost cause 'The Alone Skin Ghost' is a mouthful lol

As a final thought. However uncanny watching three move one body can be, imagine how intimidating it would be when all three decide on one goal. Synched words, motions, intentions.

At that same time, I wonder how endearing it would be if all three variants each decided to express care or affection for you all at once. Creepy but so very very endearing

Anyway, sorry for rambling, thanks for reading!

Don't apologize. I've been checking tumblr to see if you'd come back lmao. Also I love horror, and body horror is such an interesting concept to me. Especially as someone who doesn't feel comfortable in their own body. Also Ghost cerberus is totally giving me brain worms, so we're in the same boat, anon.

I feel like the first few days of living with Ghost are rough. He's constantly fumbling, jerk motions of half attempted actions. Constantly seems to be at odds with his own body, his own mind.

(Idk if it's the other members of the 141, or just 3 different versions of Ghost because, as you said, he's got Soap's arm and pieces of the other's clothes. But all 3 heads belong to Ghost. I'm pretty sure one of them is suppose to be zombie Ghost too.)

The only thing he seems in sync on is you. When he reaches out to touch it, it's with all the arms. But each caress is gentle, comforting. Maybe a little possessive, but that's not new.

Things get easier as the days go on. He seems to fall back into step with himself, but each head has its own personality, its own thoughts. There's a carefully balanced routine within himself, and with you.

Also, he's so much bulkier now. Imagine how great he'd be at cuddling! I think it would take some time for him to feel comfortable initiating any kind of affection, so unsure if you still even want him now that he looks like this. But those thoughts quiet down over time, and you find yourself constantly being pulled in for multi armed hugs and cuddles.

Also, I think the first proper sentence he gets out is, "I love you." It's the only thing all three heads can agree on. :)