#or just a degree too personal to apply to anyone else who sees it off my blog

[woolydemon]

liberating myself by posting things so late at night like lol. these are my secret posts except they're not secret

[lesinquietes]

I once wrote this longfic about Yandere!Professor!Levi who works out of a university and agrees to take you on as his teaching assistant in the first year of your grad degree…… and guys, the brainrot is back 🥺

Tw; coercion, degradation, dominant levi, dubcon (just a sprinkle), oral sex (levi receiving), slut-shaming, spanking

He remembers how much completing a master’s degree sucks. Rewarding? A little. But mostly just a waste of time keeping to the institution’s expectations of excellence. Originally, he only applied to see if he would get one of the scholarships they offered to the poor folk. He didn’t anticipate gaining entry to the program.

Fast forward to eight years later, and he’s cozy in his teaching position. The headmaster is his best friend, Erwin Smith. Life is good. He doesn’t have to teach much with the team of graduate assistants he has each semester. He lets them conduct seminars on course material to get “teaching experience”. As if that’ll help them find a job afterwards.

Although everything seems to have fallen into place for him, there’s still something missing. A void. A yearning. For what, he doesn’t know; that is, until you came along. You make him realize that life isn’t meant to be easy.

For every class he teaches, he receives at least one teaching assistant. Oftentimes, the flock he gets are new graduate students who don’t know their hand from their foot. They’re so nervous in their new role, that they cause more havoc than they’re worth. As such, he’s learned to be a hard ass. It turns out tough love works better than coddling.

But you.

You don’t respond well to either.

And it pisses him off how you’re not predictable. Growing up in the slums made his ability to read situations damn near immaculately. To some degree, he should be able to predict most common behaviours. He’s utterly confused when you don’t respond to reward or punishment. What kind of person are you? The fascination takes him faster than the alcohol did after Farlan and Isabel died in that car accident. Unlike the liquor, he lets his attraction for you bloom.

He treats you like an academic study. He writes down his hypotheses and then conducts an experiment to record data. He documents every method he tries, hoping to make a breakthrough, all while skirting under your radar; the subject can’t know her role in his field research.

Initially, he’s hard on you. He discovered a marking error on one of his students’ returned papers. Usually he doesn’t bother to check his teaching assistant’s work. With you, he’s been putting in overtime.

“The fuck is this?” He growled, tossing the paper onto your desk.

“What?”

You took the sheet onto your hands and scanned the lines with careful orbs. When you reached the bottom, you locked eyes with him. He doesn’t utter a word. You’re bright enough to understand the implicit message.

“I made a mistake,” you state. “I’m sorry, I’ll be more careful.”

You always act so diplomatic with him. He wishes you would let your guard down. You speak to your colleagues with less of an edge to your tone.

“I thought a master’s student would be able to handle bachelor’s level shit.” He antagonized you. “If you fuck up again I’ll scrap your contract for next semester.”

It’s a bluff. He won’t do that. He doesn’t want anyone else getting you as a teaching assistant, least of all that creep Miche. You’re too alluringly odd. Levi wants to lay claim to you.

“It won’t happen again,” you called after him. “Sorry.”

A lightbulb goes off in his head. His vivid memory of your nonchalance gave him a bright idea. You don’t mean your apologies because you don’t care. Truly.

Of course you haven’t been responsive to his rearing techniques; you aren’t interested in what he’s offering. He hasn’t been using the correct rewards and punishments. You’re in this teaching assistant position against your will; you needed to take it on so you could afford to pay your tuition. He bets you’re dying for stimulation.

With this in mind, he sends you an email, requesting your presence in his office tomorrow morning. If you want something to captivate your picky mind, he’s going to give it to you.

He can’t believe his eyes when you actually obey his request to bend over his desk. Your skirt hikes up, revealing your cute panties. They’re white. The way they don’t fit around the cheeks of your ass makes his cock twitch in his pants. The notion that you planned this crosses his mind. He dismisses it in favour of indulging.

Levi smacks his ruler against your ass, revelling in how your holes twitch each time he strikes. You respond well to this punishment. You moan and gasp when he goes harder, panting breathily like a desperate whore. He’s never seen so much life in your face. He only stops hitting your plump globes when the skin feels tender and worn beneath his palm; even then, he gives them one more clap before standing up to tug down his trousers.

You suck his cock next. Who knew you were such a champ at giving head? He helps you along with a firm hand glued to the back of your skull. You choke and slobber when his rip slams into the back of your throat. He doesn’t let up. Tears are streaming down your face until he decides it’s time you worship his balls. He shoves your nose and mouth into his sack, shuddering when he feels your tongue lavish each sphere with your love. It’s almost enough to make him cum.

He can’t take much more of your teasing. He forces himself down your throat a second time and shoots his load. You cough and sputter, but he doesn’t let you off. You’ll only have the privilege of air when you swallow. Once you do, he’s happy to permit you to breathe.

He grabs a fistful of your hair and tilts your head up. His steely orbs are filled with wanton lust. Your makeup is smeared and your eyes are glossy. You’re in a daze. This is what you wanted all along; to be used by your professor.

Well, if that’s what it’ll take for you to maintain an interest in grading for his class, he’s happy to do it; the next time you need some proctoring, he’ll be sure to claim that wet pussy of yours.

[neetily]

—follower thank you event !!

in an effort to thank you all and appreciate all of the love, support, and kindness you have all shown me over the many months i've known you, especially when following me on this new blog too, i've decided to open up a matchup event!

— what is a matchup? basically, you send me some information (you can see which i need further down) and depending on what you send me, i will match you up like your very own personal cupid to a character i think fits you most from the designated fandoms! i've also included some extra information and goodies to make it a little more fun hehe...

— below, you will find all the information you may require to take part in this event! please read through it carefully and thoroughly, as anyone who does not abide by these rules will have their entry deleted immediately.

— the event will run for three days, or until all of the slots are taken.

20/20 slots taken

— RULES

matchups are being done for Stardew Valley, Degrees of Lewdity, and Fields of Mistria only.

you must include your age in bio.

you must send me a message off anon so that i can keep track of who sends what, you will, however, still remain anonymous! i will post your matchup anonymously in a separate post, and then answer your ask privately with a link to it to let you know that i finished it up!

you must be following me, as this is an event made for my followers! new followers are welcome, of course.

you can send in a max of 1 messages and in that one message you can ask for a max of 2 fandoms to count for 2 entries during the event duration, any extra entries will be subsequently deleted. i will then provide up to 2 drabbles per fandom requested for!

my limits still very much apply to this event, jsyk!

are you a mutual? then this rule is for you! you guys do not count when it comes to taking up slots, but you can still only send a max of 2 fandoms! just don't worry if all the slots are taken up and you didn't get a chance to take part, you guys can always take part <3

— MATCHUP INFORMATION

here is all the information you should/could add to your entry! you can, of course, add more or less. but the more you add then the better/more accurate your matchup will be!

a brief personality description

a brief description of your appearance (such as if you wear glasses, prefer skirts, always have your hair tied up. please do not be too specific and/or extensive)

zodiac sign/MBTI

your ideal type

your favourite trope (one)

your favourite kink (one)

your favourite season

preferred terms of endearment

preferred genitalia (otherwise, i will default to none and try to be as nondescript as possible)

any likes/dislikes

hobbies

your love language

who you want to top/bottom

anything else you wish to mention!

in addition to the above, information i absolutely require is as follows;

do you prefer sweet (fluff) or spicy (smut) tastes?

what is your favourite date spot/event?

which fandom would you like to be matched up in?

which character gender would you like to be matched up with?

when you are alone, do you prefer to... listen to music, text your friends, or do something creative?

— given the information you provide me, i will find someone suitable for you that fits your parameters and write about why i think so, as well as attaching a little babble/drabble to the end exploring your relationship a bit further!

— example entry 1: hi! im an outspoken extrovert type, and my star sign is leo! i really love classical romance stories, and tend to find it difficult to stop yapping. my friends say that i am funny, kind, and a perfectionist! i like being called "love", and i'd prefer if you'd use "cunt" when referencing genitalia. i love sweet treats and the colour blue, and my favourite hobby is ice skating. my ideal date would be at an amusement park, and i love texting my friends! please could you match me up with a male from DOL? thank you!

— example entry 2: hello there! i'd describe myself as shy, unsure, but kind! my love language is physical touch, and i love painting! when it comes to tropes, my favourite is "childhood best friends". and as for kinks, choking is my favourite! i enjoy being called degrading names, and summer is my favourite season, so i'd love if you included that! please could you also include the reader wearing glasses for me? as for your required information, i prefer spicy, a beach setting is perfect for a date, i'd like to request from any two fandom you choose, and either gender is fine! also, i prefer listening to music when i'm alone, thank you!

or something like that, yknow? just be sure to include brief descriptions and the required info and we're good!

disclaimer: if you disagree or otherwise dislike who i have picked for your matchup, please don't get mad at me lmao... this is all just silly fun, it doesn't mean anything <3 and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

[1-up-chump]

Mortal kombat MK 1 roster general SFW relationship HC

Liu kang

A relationship with liu kang is a sweet one, he's the type who would never be afraid to hold your hand in public. Although before an established relationship, would get annoyed with "ooo you like them" comments from others, which yeah he likes you but also "shut up they're not my bf/gf" until he gets over himself and just goes "yeah and?"

Liu kang would give meaningful gifts, something he knows you would like but also use. But obsesses a little bit over it being your "favorite color"

If you're not "kombat ready" liu kang would at least want you to know how to defend yourself bc he knows he can't always be there to protect you (but by the elder gods he will always try anyways)

Johnny cage

Mr Hollywood himself takes absolute pride and joy in your relationship, Johnny may be a funny cocky man but he is 100% loyal to a fault and will go above and beyond for you. No price is too high for his sweetheart, the financial kind or the life risking kind. And contrary to what some might think, Johnny prefers more privacy between you two bc paparazzi is a bitch and a half, but also his love is something thats for you and nothing to prove to anyone else.

Johnny gives all the "klassic" romantic gifts, flowers, chocolates, teddy bears dressed up as scorpion. The amount of cheese this man gives off when it comes to love is astounding, but Johnny is just too charming to completely say "no" to when he's trying to woo you.

Despite the glamour and dramatic cinematic esque romance, Johnny would literally die for you no questions asked "Kombat ready" or not. But if you can kick some ass he wouldn't mind being "damsel in distress" for a moment even if it might hurt his pride a little (who knows, Johnny might find it kinda hot)

Raiden

Raiden's affection for you in private vs public is like night and day, but one thing no one can deny, you make him so much happier. He's more reserved in public but he's not going to deny you a kiss to the hand or a flirty, playful wink that's so quick you might miss it. But in private he's so much more relaxed around you, expect like, a lot of kisses and cuddling. Raiden might be a little touch starved, but even then he always asks for consent even if you already agreed to it before. He's also sassy as hell (raiden absolutely has personality and a sense of humor and just bc nrs forgot doesn't mean I did too)

Raiden is more of an "acts of service" type than a gift giver. But if he does give a gift it's either practical like clothing or maybe a little treat, or something very sentimental like a protective charm, something to give you peace of mind and to remind you he's always there for you even if not physically.

Raiden is definitely making sure you can handle yourself to some degree however capable you can be. If you are very willing to be "kombat ready" be prepared for some pretty intense training, but raiden is fair and won't push you unnecessarily anymore than you can handle

Scorpion/hanzo hasashi

Baby is so fucking protective of you its no joke, has the energy of a big looming dog if someone so much as look at you the wrong way. Very circumstantial with showing affection publicly, only comfortable when it's around people he knows wouldn't lay a finger on you. In private he is the biggest sweetheart, very very touchy and cuddly, and not afraid to show just how much he loves you and how much you mean everything to him.

Hanzo isn't much for gift giving, rather doing things for you more than anything. However he gives small but very thoughtful gifts, be it your favorite treat or a beautiful piece of jewelry that you once eyed like a week ago. He sees the little things that you like and takes note to give it to you, especially if it makes you smile, your smile gives him life.

Do i even need to tell you how devoted this man is? The man literally went through all manners of literal hell for his family before, the same applies to you. Only this time he will be better to not let rage blind him, should the worst happen. But by the elder gods whoever hurt you will pay dearly

Sub-zero/Bi-han

(Listen i know thats his noob-saibot form but i couldn't find a better gif of him)

Like hanzo, very devoted and passionate but less intense about it. It's cheesy as hell but you warm his heart, he might not like being overly affectionate with you on the account someone might "attack his soft spot" but regardless he still loves you no matter what, his actions will always say otherwise even if he's being "cold"

He's traditional with the gifts, flowers, hand written notes, and on rarer occasions he might give you a frozen treat. His letters however is where he can pour his heart out comfortably, where verbal words fail him, written poetry tells you just how soft you make him

Bi-han might be distant with you, at least to outsiders. But you know better, you know he'd do anything for you when it comes down to it. Perhaps even challenge his other loyalties if it comes to it

Sonya blade

Sonya is a bit awkward with affection, she's not the touchy feely type but she does love to sneak kisses when no one is looking or paying attention. She does love and care for you but she shows it a bit differently

Acts of service all the way, sonya would rather do something for you or with you. Not really the material type at all, but not to say she wouldn't give practical gifts like clothes or an item you would use often. However sonya would give you flowers on a very special occasion, sunflowers. Roses are usually the "klassic" but she thinks sunflowers are prettier anyways

Sonya cares so much she absolutely would die and kill for you. She'd probably also make sure you're "kombat ready" too, as much as you can as she knows she won't always be there to protect you, but by fuckin elder gods she'll try anyways

Kano

Kano is a stinky bastard, the obvious being said, it's no secret you're his soft spot. And kano makes sure to dial up the "big macho man tough guy" to 11, just to make sure no one even thinks about using you against him. Which may include kano being mean to you in public on purpose to keep up certain reputations. But in private? Like a whole new man, he's rough around the edges but he genuinely tries to be considerate. Super touchy and handsy, there's no inch of you he hasn't laid his hands on and thats not even in a raunchy way, he just likes holding you.

Kano is definitely the type to get you anything you want, but mostly gives you some nice (totally stolen black market) jewelry. You can have literally anything as long as you don't ask where kano got it (bc the answer is always something illegal probably)

Kano will never give you up without a fight and by elder gods he's gonna put up a fight because no one is gonna touch you except him. And perhaps fighting because of you he has some shred of honor. Although he wouldn't mind you defending yourself at all, hell that makes his life a lot easier

Shang tsung

Shang tsung isn't afraid to show affection, however in public it feels more like a display of "look at my pretty little toy" than something closer to a legit relationship, but that's only because shang knows better than to ever let anyone know the truth that you have his heart and soul. In private he is sensual, he's intense, passionate and all consuming. Shang is very vocal about showing his love to you in private and he will always remind you that not only your soul belongs to him, but his belongs to you. A rare gift you shouldn't take lightly.

Speaking of gifts, they are the most extravagant and expensive things. But shang pays attention, he knows exactly what you want when you want before you even know what it is that you want. Basically shang tsung's gifts are flawless and he will settle for nothing less.

Shang tsung may not seem like it to others (for obvious reasons) but he would quite literally raise hell if anything bad were to happen to you to a point he'd put his own ambitions on hold if it ment you'd be safe. Which is very significant for a man like him, consider yourself the most lucky (or unlucky depending on who you ask) person in the whole universe to ever had won his heart

Reptile/syzoth

Everyone is shocked to see syzoth take a lover, but for syzoth this is very much a big deal. Therefore he protects you fiercely, the one person to show him not only the respect he deserves, but also kindness. His race never truly had this sort of show of affection, they were lizard folk so they're detached from those sorts of bonds. However this doesn't mean syzoth can't feel love, he actually loves how warm you are. And as such will cuddle you to a point you might get annoyed bc good luck trying to get this big lizard off of you.

Food is a big gift you're gonna get, it's going to be a lot of raw meat so definitely tell him what you actually can and like to eat. Syzoth tries his best to give you things he thinks you'll like, so if you don't actually tell him what you like he'll give you shiny things and flowers (that are mostly weeds)

Syzoth absolutely defends you to the death and no one is gonna keep a limb if they dare hurt you. Although you might have to watch out bc syzoth might attack anyone else around even if they weren't involved in hurting you. You'll have to calm him down

Goro

Goro is the type to pick you up and go "look at my lover they are amazing" if the shokan prince takes a lover he's gonna show them off like a prize. But make no mistake he loves you and someone's gonna have to have some balls to disrespect you in front of goro.

Goro will make sure you have everything you ever need or want, although he's not much of the spoiling type, he might just make an exception if you bat your eyes at him and "put on your charm" so to speak. Depending on his mood goro might give you something no problem, but he might be either cheeky or moody and you'll probably have to literally fight him for that so, don't even try if you know you can't beat him in a fight.

It's a bad idea to hurt goro's beloved so rest assured that goro is gonna tear the limbs clean off whoever so much as dare threatens your life. And then proceed to beat them to death with their own limbs with one pair of arms, while holding you close with the other

[timeofjuly]

Hey July, can I ask how do you write and portray MC’s past addiction? What’s your process like? What were some hurdles that make it hard to write for them? How did you decide that this was essential to their backstory?

I really like MC, I think their character is really important, like how you can come from a nice home, have a living family, go to a good school, have friends, and still have an addiction. I think it’s really good to see characters like them. I think it helps destigmatize what addiction can look like, and what recovery can look like/how it differs from person to person.

(Keep up the good work!! I’m re-reading chpt. 9 & 10! So good!!)

Hey! You absolutely can! I’m so happy you’re enjoying and rereading! That’s the biggest compliment ever.

MC came into my head readymade with a set of characteristics and being a recovering drug addict was one of them. I sort of built the story around that. Writing it is a mixture of lived experience and research (google, talking to and being around people with more lived experience than me). In terms of hurdles, I want to treat the topic with respect and a degree of realism that I wouldn’t necessarily apply to other things, so that’s always in the back of my mind. I also worry about appropriately tagging stuff.

Since MC was a recovering addict from the very begining, the entire plot has kinda flowed from that original concept. It coloured a lot of what the story and MC looks like now. Parts of MC’s backstory, though, including her coming from a nice home with caring, well-off parents, actually didn’t just stem from that idea. That decision came from a few reasons:

There’s the one you listed, relating to MC’s addiction, which was probably like 80% of the decision

The thought that if MC had a shitty home life and relationship with her parents, literally everyone in that house would have some kind of mommy/daddy issues and that was just Too Much for me.

And then I kept seeing this clip and imagining it in the context of MC being the only one in that house NOT to have mommy/daddy issues. The idea was so funny to me then and still is now. MC would have the only set of in-laws to go around that many people. They go to her family’s holiday events every single time. MC is the only one who doesn’t laugh at the dark child abuse jokes. If anyone else in that house opens their mouth and starts talking about childhood, you know it’ll be a depressing story. Not MC! MC’s parents are great.

I am so happy you’re liking MC’s character!

[number-one-crush]

LF DoL M!LIxF!PC RP! (w/ me as the LIs and you as the PC!)

What an absolute fucking MESS of a title that is, lmaoooo TT

ASSORTED WARNINGS: 22+!! TW: dead dove and shit, it’s Degrees of Lewdity, please be careful people who don’t know what that is!

Hey (maybe future) friends! I’ve recently gotten into DOL and have been pretty obsessed with it lately. It’s got all the things I love, and by all the things I love, I mostly mean: EVERYONE LOVES ONE PERSON AND NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT IT and TOXIC FUCKING OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. So, without further ado…

THE PREMISE:

My favorite characters by far are Whitney and Kylar. I imagine I’d also probably really like Eden, too, but I actually haven’t really tried anything with him yet, and honestly, as much as he sounds like a real catch, I just really, really thrive off all the jealous drama between Whitney, Kylar, Sydney and Robin at school.

So like, I’d really like to RP that. And by that, I mean that I’d like to write Whitney and Kylar… and to a lesser extent, (mostly for drama) Robin and Sydney, as being wildly in love with and obsessed with your PC so we can explore the absolute mess of a fall out that inevitably causes. :v

My favorite thing to do with characters I love is to write for them: there’s something really fun about getting into that headspace and exploring the way they feel and how they’d behave, and I love it. I could write fanfiction, and I can’t lie: the temptations have been there! But honestly, it’s hard for me to motivate myself writing fanfiction when the chance to write against someone else and geek out over the absolute fucking disaster-nonsense our characters get up to together is so much more fun. ):

SO: DETAILS! 

I really only do MxF, with me playing the LIs as dudes and you playing the PC as a lady. Sorry for any other pairing combination, I just wouldn’t have the same inspiration to write for other configurations. ): I’m not going to tell you how your PC should look or really behave, and I look forward to hearing about her from you! I love getting excited about other peoples’ OCs!

I’ve got headcanons for the boys (which are pretty typical, honestly!), but I am of course open to input from you on what you’d like to see, too. :> 

Since this is DOL, obvious content warnings apply! Noncon/dubcon, abusive and messed-up situations… they pretty much come with the territory, though I’m not looking to make anyone uncomfy and I’ve got no problem toning some things down or ratcheting things up based on what you do or don’t feel comfy with! I’d like to feel comfortable talking OOC to make sure everyone feels okay about stuff. 

Which brings my rambling to my next point: DOL is obviously a sex game and I’m not opposed to raw smut or anything. But what I miss from the game is the emotional turmoil and fucked up sense of longing – and an obvious desire to possess PC – that I feel Kylar and even Whitney are drowning in. We get to see their actions, but not their thoughts, and I really want to do this to develop and dwell on those feelings! I want to see them and the PC involved in situations (fucked up as they are) that allow those things to really flourish and shine. I am an absolute slut for deep, anguished, sometimes violent obsession in characters… I just think getting to explore that is SUPER sexy in fiction, so maybe expect a like 80/20 plot to smut ration. Maybe 70/30? I feel like the smut hits a LOT harder if you’ve got a lot of pent up feelings behind it. 

Honestly, I don’t even NEED smut, but like, it’s DOL, so it kinda feels like it comes with the territory? Your girl here really lives the tumultuous, angsty emotional foreplay, whoops. ): I just really wanna write a bunch of really fucked up dudes falling in love with PC – bullying her, stalking her, meekly trying to protect her… you get the vibe!

ANYWAY, some things I’d hope for/need from you!:

+ Absolutely, positively, with no exceptions, you need to be like, middish twenties or older. I’m older myself and I absolutely have no desire to interact with teenagers. No offense to teenagers, you all can make great writers – just as someone who is absolutely not a teenager, it’s just what I’m comfortable with. Even if the subject matter wasn’t super-ultra-fucked, I wouldn’t feel comfy with it.

+ I’d like someone who understands that, as an adult, I have a job and a partner and a relatively active social life with my (one) good friend, so I will probably manage a post or two a day, sometimes a post every two! It might be more than that if I really get into the vibe, but ya know…

+ I like to be descriptive when I write, somewhere between pretentious-fuckoffery and wordy-but-functional. Sometimes I’ll do a few paragraphs… sometimes, I really get into it and it can be a couple pages. I tend to be reactive to what is needed for a scene: flashy back-and-forth dialogue is gonna make for shorter posts, but sometimes I really like getting into my character’s headspace and waxing poetic about how much they want their love interest for like, a few paragraphs or more. I’d like someone who can at least manage a few paragraphs! One liner stuff does nothing to me; I want to be able to feel like my characters have a reason to WANT your character, so I need something to work with! Please have a pretty good grasp of grammar and what not, too! Obviously stylistic choices can make for some fun grammar fuckery, and I’m not about to judge for some spelling errors, but like, please please have a pretty good grasp of writing! I live for good writing partners. ):

+ TENSE/POV: I am not super picky, but I admit I love the present tense second person of the game. As someone who was super into Homestuck, that shit just jives with me. That said, I’m open to a lot of different things, just absolutely NO FIRST PERSON. I cannot stand it in RP, it really takes me out. We can hash it out!

+ The ability to advocate for yourself OOC! The subject matter is icky, and I don’t want to traumatize anyone. We don’t need to be best OOC friends, but I hope we can feel comfortable with each other enough to hash things out outside of RP so we can both feel okay with whatever is going on! I’d also really like to just be able to gush about our characters OOC, please! TT Like, let’s be dumb and make playlists and pinterests, ahhhhhh! If you got a song you got that reminds you of things, PLEASE TELL ME, I wanna be a total fucking nerd about our fucked up children!

+ Discord! I tend to use discord to RP because servers make things easier to organize! Please use it! I don’t really like using anything else, womp womp. ):

So! If you’ve read all that, and you’re interested, please hmu here on Tumblr! I hate the ask/messaging system here, so like, you can just drop me some info on your PC and maybe your discord handle via one of those, and we can move to Discord to see if we’d make good RP partners! 

Thanks a bunch and looking forward to hearing from you! 

PS: Please excuse the Dabi theme-ing, I’m too lazy to change my very basic theme-ing. I love love fucked up dudes, and I cannot lie.

[valorxdrive]

https://youtu . be/rBSuDFL8uAk?si=ZWd7amG-HUznB-jF

^ good question

It's more of a forward question to me.

The answer? Yes, Sora is a happy person and is happy. It just never meant it's the only thing that he comes to feel, just like anyone else.

_____

I sat down and watched the video and had my agreements and disagreements. A primary thing being I believe the nuances of some scenes they picked (primarily in KH1 and CoM) aren't done in good faith. While in 1 the 'Toxic positivity' I heavily disagree with as that throws Donald and Goofy in bad faith. A genuine line has to be seen for the situation. 1. The Gummi ship will literally power down on heavy despair, but secondly, it's important to have a solid foundation in his circumstance of helping the worlds as being off his game can quite literally get him killed.

As for CoM, we can't even say that's completely Sora as the Namine rewrites of memory are also Namine projecting her perception. Similar to Riku replica, her power was drawing a level of mind control that altered a touch of his qualities. Where he was gaining a touch of that KH1 Riku energy in the CoM part of the series. A centralized, obsessive focus that is not him and leading him to do things he normally never would. (That snap argument at his allies in this particular way shows that the Castle (Namine) was doing exactly what Marluxia warned, even though he's orchestrating that. The goal was to confuse and deceive.) When we see the truth of Sora's decision after learning of the manipulations, we're seeing that GENUINE him at the forefront again.

Now if we're to bring in the conversation about his self-doubt, that he belittles himself and what he can truly do, this is where I'm really listening. Yes! This has been a long running chord of weakness through him, further exacerbated by the Organization and with instances in KH3. A Keyblade War was on the horizon and naturally such a cataclysm, creation ending event can even get the best on edge. He needs to be ready and there's the creeping horror he may not hold his appropriate weight against the machinations of Xehanort.

What I believe this video is trying to highlight is that like everyone else, he has weaknesses. They show and so do the cracks. However, what it heavily sleeps on is good faith in Sora's nature as a person. He's someone who enjoys looking on the brighter side, to recognize the grim and rough aspects and try to see a horizon beyond that.

Despite this being a journey to help make things right, he loves the fact he's out there to a degree too, seeing new worlds, meeting new people and taking the pain of his past and applying it to a more positive outcome. Does he miss home? Yes. Is he still dealing with a wealth of other issues deep within? Also yes. Does he hide that self-doubt until it all shatters at the Keyblade Graveyard? Absolutely.

I believe this video just leans too hard in trying to show a 'tortured soul' aspect in the effort of showcasing these humanizing qualities.

I'm fully aware that a nice chunk KH fanbase can be blind in considering him a one note if the pain isn't forwardly displayed on screen. (Or maybe more 'impactful' and dramatized cutscenes?) This felt like it could've taken the value of his character more into account in my opinion.

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

I’m going to be nice after that though and also send you Garashir, Kiradax and Quodo <3

Thanks for all the asks, this has been fun getting to rant about my ships! XD

(for this ask game)

Ship It - garashir, my beloved OTP <3

What made you ship it?

I mean when I watched Past Prologue for the first time, my friend and I were like yelling at the screen "haha NOW MAKE OUT!!!" whenever garashir would stand way too close together, and it was always clear to me that Garak was into Julian. But then when Julian gave Garak Delavian chocolates at the airlock in Improbable Cause I was like "oh... this is for real... they are in love for real..." and then it was all over for me hahhaha

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

They genuinely enjoy spending time with each other and they love the things about each other that are off-putting to everyone else! They are the same and yet different and yet The Same, in SUCH interesting ways! They are uniquely suited to making each other better! Their gay little book club over lunch makes me feral! The Wire is a fairy tale romance where Julian's unconditional love for Garak literally saves him! They are just so unhinged about each other in such a beautiful way!!!! Ahhhhhh I love them <3 <3 <3

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It's def baffling to me that there's a significant number of people who apparently think Garashir is inherently unhealthy as depicted in canon, and tbh I am not sure we watched the same show lol. Also, this is unrelated to previous sentence but I do think Julian KNOWS by The Wire at the latest that Garak is dtf (but, you know, keep writing stories where Julian's oblivious to Garak's attraction to him for longer than that, bc sometimes he's gotta be in order for the concept of the fic to make sense and that's fine lol! it's just not my reading of canon).

Ship It - quodo

What made you ship it?

The Ascent! The way they said "you know when I said I hated you? <3" "yeah <3" "well, i meant it <3" "so did i <3" or whatever just makes me sooooo crazy ^_^

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The chemistry they have is INSANE. Everything about their dynamic is insane tbh! Odo desperately wants to arrest Quark, but it's clearly just a sex thing for the two of them. Quark wants Odo gone so he can do his crimes more easily but whenever Odo leaves the station Quark says goodbye and interprets Odo's harrumphs and pointed indifference as love confessions. They begrudgingly respect each other, they want each other to suffer dearly, they can't stop thinking about each other for a single second, they hate each other more than anyone else, they can't live without each other. <3 Also! Quark made Odo blow on the dice! Odo drops by the bar every day to make sure Quark knows he's thinking about him!! Quark bounces his ass on any object he thinks might be Odo, unless he is instead licking it to see if it's Odo!!!! Ahhhh, I love everything about it!

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Quodo is quintessential kismesissitude, to me. (Meaning, they are each other's most important person - or one of each other's most important people anyway - AND they are also bitter rivals who are obsessed with each other to a wild degree AND also they def fuck nasty.) Unpopular only because it is cringe to have read homestuck and it is especially cringe to then apply the shipping mechanics therein to other fandoms, lol. But I'm right, though, and it needs to be said <3

Don't Ship It - kiradax

Why don't you ship it?

First of all, this is a very ambivalent don't ship it. I truly don't hate it, it's just a little bit nebulous to me.

(the rest of my kiradax thoughts under the cut)

Like, I used to think I actively shipped it, but then I had to write kiradax for an exchange and it was soooo hard bc I just couldn't figure out their dynamic and there's not a lot to go on in the show (not enough for ME to go on, anyway... I am the kind of person who writes fanfic so that she doesn't need to come up with her own characters/settings/etc lol). It was harder for me to connect with it after that, like, the shippy feelings just aren't readily accessible.

2. What would have made you like it?

More canon interactions? Like, give me an entire Kiradax holosuite episode, not just a scene haha. Also maybe more focus in the fandom on the vast cultural differences between them, perhaps? Like, they had such different lives and I think they could learn a lot from each other. I feel like that could be a good source of chemistry and tension and healing and interesting relationship struggles to work through, but it isn't super explored in most of the fics I've read (I def have not read most kiradax fics though, am open to recs). Actually, thinking about my other ship responses, what I'd truly need in order to make them shipworthy for me is for them to just be absolutely obsessed with each other in a way that is kinda unhinged XD

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Y'all def draw some amazing art that makes me want to ship it and makes me wish these characters got to hang out more in canon so I could wrap my mind around them! Because there is def the potential, like it's soooo close to being a ship I care about, I just lack the imagination to make it work in a way that's interesting to me. Anyway, I do absolutely love the canon kiradax holosuite dates (both the Hoobishan baths scene, and the medieval one that's only alluded to, in which Kira punched a hologram for trying to kiss her lol). Also, when they drink out of each other's glass in Dramatis Personae I do get all hot and bothered, so there's that

[funkymbtifiction]

hey again! i saw your ask about so blind and was just wondering a few things:

1. is it sp blind or sp second to feel incompetent when it comes to setting up your life in a way you can really be independent even if you know you should be? let’s say lower level sp things, you’re fine with. keeping the house clean, hygiene, diet and self care you attend to because they’re pleasurable. but when it comes to things like learning skills, finishing a degree, finding a job, budgeting it’s just too hard and you lack the self discipline and either wind up unemployed, broke, lights off, can’t drive, etc OR with your needs covered but totally dependent on someone else to provide that for you? it feels like it could be sp blind because so long as you’re content with the person who’s providing for you, sp doesn’t matter to you. but at the same time the awareness that you should be doing these things so that if your relationship sours you wont be smacked in the face with all of that and suffer feels like sp second - aware of its importance but it’s not a priority right now because you’re happy with your person. is that the difference then? an sp blind would genuinely not know it’s important or care and just figure if the relationship goes bad they’ll find others to help them out? vs sp second knows it’s important but struggles to prioritize and apply themselves?

2. along the same lines, how to tell the second vs the blind instinct in general when 2 instincts both suffer a lot of neglect. like a person who is obsessed with sx to the equal neglect of sp AND so areas of life, or a person who’s obsessed with sp and neglects so AND sx, etc. would the second instinct be similar to the above example where you know you SHOULD do this but lack the discipline to prioritize it over your preferred instinct vs a blind instinct being that you don’t even feel like you need to do it at all and feel you can live without it and rely on the other 2 instincts to get by in life?

3. on the flip side what to make of someone who feels deeply attached to all 3 instincts and kind of “wants it all” where no area feels negotiable or unimportant? not necessarily meaning they’re GOOD at each one but they see an importance to all of them and STRIVE to master them all?

I would need to know more factors to determine sp or sx-blindness in this situation. I could see an so/sp FP type not being able to learn skills, finish a degree, find a job, or budget, because of their weak Te and generally going wherever their feelings take them (all of that is boring!), but if a J type was having trouble with that, I might consider sp-blind. In general, it sounds like weak sp, so it could be sp-blindness. Sp-blindness, from what I understand, is “Why would anyone care about/focus on that?” So/sx users during the pandemic who lived alone had to “learn” to do sp, but it was weird for them to suddenly have to care about things like not getting sick, limiting human contact, taking care of repairs themselves, etc.

I would say so, yes. You’re aware it NEEDs to be done, you just don’t want to do it.

Deep attachment to all the instincts is usually denial that there’s a blind spot. Wanting it all can relate to an Enneagram core (such as 7) who wants to have their cake and eat it too. Which one are you crap at? Be honest. Is it finding a sexual hook that nobody else has, which can attract AND repulse people? Is it prioritizing self-care? Is it being aware of what is appropriate to the situation and what your role in it is? In which area have you drawn the most criticism from those around you? That can often be enlightening. Sp-blinds – “can’t you be an adult and take care of this?” Sx-blinds – “Why are you trying to make a dead relationship work?” Soc-blinds – “Do you KNOW how embarrassing that was? Why are you always so inappropriate?”

[abbyfandomgalaxy]

Just A Quick Rant From A Crossover Lover.

Hey! So um, this is just something I want to say real quick. A quick rant about my crossover/crossover shipping problems to anyone who needs to hear it. ( Or just me getting this off my chest. Don't know if this applies to anyone else just curious. If this sounds like something that might offend you or you might not like than you are welcome to leave.)

So I really hate it when I see people complaining about crossover/ crossover ships just because its characters are from different universes. Like I get it, it could come off weird too you because they never met before or maybe you don't think the characters are compatible together. But just because you think it's weird, doesn't mean you should go hating on them. They might have their certain reasons why they think the ship/au idea is compatible/makes sense. Like maybe two certain characters have similar personalities, for example, and they think they would be good friends or have a good romantic relationship if they ever met. And we have fanfiction/AUs they can use to make that happen. It's not real and when it comes to shipping, if the characters don't have to large of an age gap, is something like a minor and an adult, or maybe not too far apart in species( like example: a human and a furry or a cat and a dog.), then I say do whatever you want.

And if you don't like the kinda stuff their doing, then don't watch/read it. Ignore it or silently cringe to yourself and move on. You don't have to shame/hate on them for it. They have their reasons for their ships/AUs just like you would with yours. So what if it's cringe? All shipping/AUs are cringe to some degree if you think about it.

And to anyone who is a crossover shipper/crossover fan/or a shipper in general, don't listen too whatever hate you get from someone. As long as it's not illegal/wrong, and you enjoy it, than keep doing it! I'm sure you will find people who enjoy/ship the same idea as well. I did! So don't give up and keep doing what you love. You will find people who will support you. So listen to the supports instead of the haters. That's my advice.

.

I have no idea who needed to hear that and I hope I didn't sound rude or pushy but just wanted to get that off my chest. To anyone who can relate, let me know! I'd love to hear. :)

Have a great day/night/evening/afternoon! Thanks for reading! ~

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[autobotmedic]

Mun Vs. Muse

Similarities:

we are usually logical/rational, but also have very strong feelings, and sometimes those conflict.

health conscious and yet, not necessarily great at always taking care of self.

we’re more introverted than extroverted.

we are opinionated, and the closer you are to us, the more opinions you will hear. including petty ones.

tend to be equipped or prepared compared to most, I cannot tell you how many tissues/wet wipes/a snack/etc I’ve given other students fhksjhdf.

we highly value life of any form; I have treated injuries/helped take care of sick people and animals. blood doesn’t bother either of us.

basically we both have empathetic caretaker hearts.

but also people are difficult to deal with and socializing is tiring more often than not.

once betrayed in some way/recognizing we’ve been taken advantage of, even if we do care about someone, comfortable trust is not regained easily.

rambling about a passion or due to being nervous is more common for me than him, but he does still ramble, and I definitely believe he did more often when he was younger.

I’ve been told I can be Intense sometimes when it comes to focusing on/tackling a responsibility. coughing.

oh strong responsibility sense but not like, claiming EVERYTHING, claiming our things/what we feel we should be responsible for and being dedicated toward those things. sometimes to the point of neglecting what we would actually like to do.

aligned ratch came from a village that isn’t even named canonically which I read as meaning he has Country Roots, and I am also a country person; maybe I’m self projecting but I rly do think he finds cottagecore appealing too.

we were very similar types of A-making students who took notes, studied, questioned/talked to our professors, and didn’t really party or fall for peer pressure. I am aware this is not a popular opinion for ratch bc many default to ‘party ambulance,’ but it is VERY hard for me to see that applying to aligned, nor is there any actual evidence of it that I can find (outside of a drug-equivalent's influence).

additionally, despite being the same age or younger than most of the people we interacted with as peers, there was ;;; definitely a personal maturity/priorities difference from most of them. aka, feeling older than you are and having trouble socializing casually because of it.

they are not as strong/I am aware of and thus try to keep them contained to be respectful of others, but I do have some controlling and defensive urges too fhkjahfds.

we can and will overthink often and there is no Off switch for it.

but on the other hand, we can also be calm and problem solve/react quickly under pressure, especially if anyone else present is panicking or emotionally hurting.

we have both experienced the loss of what we considered ‘home’ due to outside circumstances we could not change, even though it was not an entire planet in my case, obviously.

the older I get and the more I learn/see about the world and try to survive in it, the more cynical and tired I become; at this point I’m pretty sure if I lived several million years and saw a lot of scrap constantly, I would reach ratchet’s levels fhakjhfsdf.

we both care about the quality of our work/perfectionism to a significant degree and being rushed or learning to say ‘this is acceptable’ is very hard.

Differences:

his science knowledge level is absolutely incredible and I cannot hold a candle to it, I struggle just trying to do research to write him believably. I also think mechanics and such are neat and I do have more understanding of vehicles than average, but that is still no where near equivalent to him.

I can be be creative/find creative solutions to issues sometimes, but I am not an inventor-level of problem solver like him. I can build things if I have instructions or make an entire simple plan first, but I can’t just Do it/modify something quickly.

I am usually able to express how I feel emotionally, he does not always know how or is unwilling to do so.

he is definitely better at multitasking than I am.

I am not ambidextrious but he is.

he is stocky while I am not.

I am not in any medical or science field.

I don’t have ptsd.

I rarely nap.

[freedomarrow]

WHAT MAKES A PERSONALITY

A template for analyzing features of a personality beyond listing adjectives.

SELF-CONCEPT

View of Self: Used to be extremely poor - being treated as a worm and less than human by those in power rubs off on you after a while. Nowadays, still has very low self-esteem, continuing to see himself as no one special or significant, just a Daein archer who alone cannot do all that much. However, he will do his very best and he is not alone.

View of Others: Depending on who it is, may range all the way from family, through allies and acquaintances, all the way down to someone who seeks to abuse and destroy him and those he holds dear for their own personal gain or for simple amusement. Leonardo is very stiff in the beginning when meeting someone, struggling to open up to new people, due to viewing them with a degree of suspicion that he is not even fully aware of.

View of World: Once again, used to be extremely bad - a cruel place where the weak are defeated and trampled upon by the strong and he is too powerless to do anything about it and help anyone. Nowadays is a bit better - the world is, also, a place full of wonders and there do exist good people if one is lucky enough to run into them - but he would still have more bad than good things to say about it.

Motivations & Goals: To serve Daein, save it and help it become better than it used to be. To ensure his friends - his family - remain safe.

What they Value Most: His homeland, and the Dawn Brigade - those he calls family.

EMOTIONAL REACTIONS

Reaction to Stress: Being someone who was regularly in danger and had to act quickly, a stressed Leonardo enters a state of extreme focus, swiftly analyzing the situation from all angles to come up with the best possible solutions. The same applies to a battle situation - he is always ready to either fight or flee, depending on what is considered safer and more beneficial. The exhaustion related to stress and anxiety does not catch up with him until after the fact.

Reaction to Fear: Very similar to stress. A bit less analysis and a bit more fight or flight response. Doesn’t usually show much outwardly due to his emotions being rather suppressed, but may need to let it out afterwards - either by having a cry on his own (which he will inwardly berate himself for as a show of weakness), or a hug session with Edward, where they both hold each other and enjoy the sensation that they are alive.

Reaction to Success: Relief more than anything else. In terms of combat situations, he has no love for it, so he is just glad to see it over and done with and all his friends alive at the end. In other situations, he does not celebrate much, being immediately ready to move on to the next task. If other Dawn Brigade members are present, they may convince him to let up a little, and then he will pause, apologize for his stiffness, and enjoy the success with others.

Reaction to Failure: In the days of Dawn Brigade, failure would usually mean death, which - though he fears - he was always prepared for. He meets failure generally with resignation and acceptance of his future fate, seeing it as the natural result of his shortcomings. He does not really worry about himself, only about those he cherishes.

DEVELOPMENT

Ideal Self: Someone who can contribute to the betterment and prosperity of Daein. Someone who can look after himself and his friends. Someone who maybe, just maybe, actually means something. Someone who would receive Lughnasadh for his ability, not because he was friends with Micaiah (which he continues to see as the reason why he was given the bow, regardless of what anyone else tries to tell him).

Areas of Growth: Confidence in himself and his skill. Becoming a bit more of a leader and a bit less of a follower. Moving past his past.

Barriers to Growth: Reliance on the Dawn Brigade, especially Micaiah and Edward, to make decisions for him. Lack of not only self-confidence, but also a sense of his and his life’s worth. The voice in his head that keeps telling him he should have died together with everyone else the day his school was destroyed, and that he is a traitor by simply being alive.

[mindrole]

OK this is utterly random but I was digging for references to draw Dita and something about him looks. Off? I don't have the databook so my only references here are the CoM profile image and the in-game sprite in Interlude but then I realized that his eye color is significantly darker than Fragments we're currently aware of?? Even Eigha's are more Fragment red than Dita's. I think I'm losing my mind. Surely he wouldn't wear different contact lenses?

I don't really have a goal here I just don't have anyone else to bother with my brainrot and you're chill so presumably up for someone else's brainrot. Cool if not tho

i got pretty curious, so i decided to see for myself. just to note, theodore has pure #FF0000 red eyes so i didn't include him, none of the others have anything like that. the databook makes sure to make a distinction when talking about hatsutori's eyes too (i.e. saying they're not pure red, that they're dark red. i assume the same applies to the rest too).

if you're curious, there is not really much on ditasword in the databook, there's a paragraph about it on shinano's entry that teases CoM's premise and the nature of the show, what it is, mentions miwa and gives a little information about him etc. i feel like the only thing that isn't mentioned in the interlude or other material is that eigha as a character appears in season 2 and 4 (so he isn't in season 1 or 3). there's a drawing in the databook that can be seen in thumbnail form in miwa's room. i think it's the poster with taka on it. it's a little hard to see tho. the poster with shiyo on it is based on the art on the CoM website with ryuu replaced with eigha. as far as i know there's no HD version of the half with eigha on it.

here is what i ended up with:

it's something like this. (sorry the pic isn't aligned neatly)

i compared in-game sprites. any inconsistency in other pictures, i think i personally rule out as just that, inconsistencies.

looking purely by value, ryuu's eyes are the darkest among the fragments, miwa in second, then izu, hatsutori, misumi. i included hair color too for some reason. i was most surprised that misumi has the lightest eyes. izu is weird because his eyes are more RED than anyone else. overall, there doesn't seem to be any pattern or correlation for why they're all different. my guess is that it's just a design thing. we say "pink" hair, but it's noted to be shades of magenta. so by the logic of design choice, it makes sense that miwa, who is a 60+ year old man who pretends to be 40 years younger and plays an anime boy for a living, has the pinkest hair (since it's cute). ryuu having a sort of muddy, ashy purple. hatsutori having probably the least blemished magenta since he's got an otherworldly cult leader sort of mood going on, etc.

my personal outlook on color variation for a while has been that not unlike a gemstone, there are different degrees of purity and such, and if you consider theodore the "purest", then the other fragments appearance suddenly start to make sense. something like this:

tho, idk if this has any basis in reality. it's just a funny thing i thought of... (yknow since fragments, rocks... etc)

as for eigha... his eyes are darker than ryuu's. i feel like that's consistent with someone wearing contacts over normal dark eyes. i do think this is a factor, because the contacts in miwa's bathroom are noted to be black, not brown. i think red would definitely look weird under brown contacts, since yknow that kind of thing does peek out a bit. someone would have clocked the deception pretty fast if they compared dita in the show and miwa out and about. of course it's a lot of show don't tell. you just find miwa's disguise in his bathroom. it's obvious the implication is "dita's look is what miwa actually looks like" but the vigilant might still consider other avenues. i'm lazy so i just go with the most obvious and probably intended implication. this is just an aside, but i honestly would have snapped, the fragments have lightly colored eyelashes and eyebrows, so on work days miwa would have to tint them to look darker going to the studio or whatever else, wipe it all off and get in dita costume, then put it back on to go back home, then go home and wipe it off again...

we don't know what either person who plays eigha looks like, but since it's the inverse situation... i guess it makes sense. (if shiyo really is actually a real harada, it'd be auburn dark red under there?!?!!?!! <-instant otaku death) he does have a sprite where his eyes are glowing, but since it's a 2.5D show i don't rule out special effects, post processing, etc.

since the game collaboration is based on the movie, i'm fully assuming it's shiyo, but there's really nothing saying it can't be taka...?? i have no idea!!! i think it's definitely shiyo though!!!

overall, i didn't observe anything abnormal about miwa compared to the other fragments, but i also have no idea why izu's eye color is so drastically different from misumi's. i expected them to be the same since it's misumi's fragment after all.

[ringsfullofdiamond]

11/22/22

writing out my thoughts because veronna suggested i do so. i want to start writing out some positive stuff, instead of always just writing my anxious and sad thoughts.

positive:

justin and i have been adjusting nicely in our place. things have been settling down more, and we’re getting in the swing of furnishing the apartment. everything is looking so nice so far, and living together has been really fun and easy. we’re both on the same page about everything, with cleaning, organizing, furnishing, etc. it’s been very peaceful and a nice pace. i’ve always grown to love cleaning and organizing, it’s super therapeutic and gratifying for me. i have this whole week off from work, so i’ve just been cleaning, cooking, baking, furnishing, and shopping. it’s been sooooo nice and relaxing. i’ve laid down a few times and just really sat in the peace of it all. not to mention the flowers i buy. they really brighten up the space & room. i’ve come to love interior designing so much, and it’s really nice to do it with justin by my side.

negative-ish brain dump:

thanksgiving is in two days, and i’m really nervous still. ton of thoughts go in my mind on how it’s going to go and i feel like i’m going to break out in hives. tbh, i don’t know why it matters to me so much. like why family judgment is just so offending but also nerve wracking and anxiety inducing. i think it’s because i’ve never really been a topic of gossip or scrutiny. i’ve always done things right, always casted a positive light on me. and i feel the projection from mom of course. she’s worried how me being with justin reflects on me, and ultimately her. and it’s ridiculous. there’s nothing wrong with justin objectively, he’s actually amazing. but the types of questions they’ll ask, the superficial things they’ll judge him on. the fact that he didn’t get a college degree & he’s short. it just feels unfair, but at the end of the day, what does it really matter if it’s unfair? like v says, who cares what they think? gossip is gossip; it’s not a reflection of me or justin, but rather my aunts and uncles. it’s what they do to feel better about themselves, to have something to idly chat about, to have a new topic of discussion. it does scare me. while i wish it didn’t, while i know it doesn’t matter, it scares me. i just hate being judged, and judged for no good reason. i don’t want that judgment to extend to justin. but i can’t let it be known or felt that i feel uncomfortable about the judgment. i think the more i own it and the relationship, the less of a big deal it is to them and ultimately me. it’s kind of like, not giving them a reaction when or if they question and ridicule the relationship. giving short, pleasant answers with a smile. showing that i’m relaxed and confident in my decisions. shows that i have ease and grace in my POV and they should get it too. and if they don’t.... whatever, right? 

the same mindset could be applied to friends who haven’t met justin yet. i do think about what ahran would think, knowing the way she is. she’s made comments about some of her gf’s and how their boyfriends don’t look that attractive. i’ve been guilty of making comments like this before, but i want to stop. because it really is hurtful and unnecessarily judgmental. nothing comes out of it. but yeah, she’ll prob see justin and just thinks he’s super short or not attractive enough, knowing her. but again, whatever. it’s my bf, not hers or anyone else’s. besides, everyone who’s ACTUALLY talked to and got to know justin know what a great person he is. introspective, thoughtful, observant, calm, and mature. he’s amazing. and those who can’t see that, like i say, is more of a reflection on them. i’ve always thought that if someone doesn’t like justin, it’s more of a reflection on them than him. because he doesn’t do anything wrong. in fact, he always does things right. rarely ever does he respond or react in a distasteful way. 

which brings me to some other anxiety.. i have to tell mom that justin didn’t get an AA. i feel ashamed that i said he did. in the spur of the moment, i told her that he did get one, and i think inside i felt some shame about the fact that he didn’t have one too. but i quickly realize that it really doesn’t matter and i actually don’t give a fuck. haven’t gave a fuck in a long while. my problem is i really internalize what other ppl think, and it sways my opinions. i’m pretty impressionable when i think about it, and not as grounded as i’d like to be. i want to keep working on it. but i’m reminding myself that if i have no issue or shame about j not having an AA, then that’s ALL that really matters. so i’ll let her know tomorrow on wednesday. 

i’m anxious about thanksgiving, but like i mentioned to v, it’s a few hours. it’ll pass, and life will move on. we will move on. justin and i will, and we’ll continue to live a lovely life full of laughter and pureness. you can’t control what people’s opinions are, what they say, what prejudices they have, and how they view you or justin or anyone else. but i can control how i respond. reminder to myself that if i feel uncomfortable or nervous or anxious, remind yourself it’s ok. this is a huge step outside of your comfort zone, and you should be proud of what you’ve been able to do so far. it’s nerve wracking to reveal you’ve been in this long relationship without family knowing, but fuck it man. it is what it is. it’s life. 

i’ve carried this anxiety with me since i told my parents about us, and it really hasn’t been easy. but it’ll GET easier. at the end of the day, when you start to doubt and get nervous, just remember what’s really important: my happiness. it’s my life, and i only got one. i’m going to do what i want to do, and that’s being with justin and living our best life.

wow i really brain dumped everything here. i do feel better and like a weight is off my shoulders a bit. and my mind is less filled to the brim with all of these negative thoughts. regardless of how the dinner goes, i hope i can look back at this entry down the line and see that everything is okay, and i’m okay. 

[emjiroki]

please release all of your shinichiro thoughts whenever you have them because the lack of content for him is killing me 👍

Ask and you shall receive Anon! Shinichiro is my baby so I am MORE than happy to give him some more content

18+ under the cut MINORS DNI

Warnings: Shinichiro is the love of my life so I wrote a bit lol

Convinced it's a joke when you say yes to going to dinner with him. He waves it off with a "Yeah okay, no hard feelings" because he thinks he got rejected and goes to his back office in the shop, leaving you standing there fighting back a laugh. A few seconds after you hear him rushing back, a loud crash sounding as he rushed back with flushed cheeks. "Wait a minute, did you say yes?". Immediately calls Waka to tell him with the biggest grin on his face after you leave

Once your his though it's game on. Proudly shows you off and expresses his love so loudly, he's the sweetest and thinks you're the most amazing person in the world

Mikey and Emma LOVE you and Shin couldn't be happier. The two kids hang off of you and beg you to take them to get snacks

No one believes Shinichiro when he says he finally has a girlfriend. Everyone gives him the third degree except Wakasa, who turns to you and demands to know if you have brain damage or something. Why else would someone as sweet as you decide to date a delinquent, the leader of the black dragons No less. But you love Shin and that's all that matters, gang or no gang.

I don't think he'd be a jealous type though. Like he has his limits and if anyone makes you uncomfortable or pushes your boundaries too far there is hell to pay. But some dumbass flirting with you isn't a bother. He's secure enough with you that he knows that fucker stands no chance.

Shinichiro sleeps in only his underwear. He gets too hot at night so you'll have the fan on in winter time too. But don't worry he's right there pressing up against you to warm you up (and maybe grind on you a little but oh well)

Any chance he gets he's kissing you, hugging you, tugging you around the corner in the shop where no one can see you to shove a hand in your pants and make you cum on his fingers. Anything he can to be close to you and show you how much he loves you

Trys to make everything perfect for your first time together, even if his heart is in his throat and he's smoked nearly a whole pack of cigarettes just doing the errands he needed. Cleans his apartment THROUGHLY , buys new sheets for his bed, trys to make dinner even if it fails and you two end up going to a late night ramen shop. He thinks you're perfect and wants everything he does to be perfect for you

He's a fumbling mess the first time you have sex. Blushy and handsy, just wanting to make you feel good, wanting to hear you say his name as you cum for him.

He might be inexperienced but it doesn't mean he's inept. He's watching every movement and sound and facial expression you make, putting together what makes you cream around his fingers like a puzzle

Nearly cums on your tongue the first time you take him between your lips. Barely applied any suction and his legs were trembling, a broken whine escaping him as you smile up at him before taking his cock down your throat. With your tongue working around him and way you hallow your cheeks to pull him in deep, he's spilling into your mouth in no time, a shaky groan filling the space between you.

Not a big fan of overstimulation on his cock, makes his brain too fuzzy and he wants to savor every single second with you. Especially the first time he pushes inside of you

He can't believe how warm and wet you are around his cock, eyes nearly crossing as pleasure enveloped every sense. It takes everything in him not to fuck his entire length into you in one go, doesn't want to hurt you but God you feel so good

He's a moaning whining mess, especially if you're riding him, can't stop telling you how much he loves you and how good you feel, begging you to cum around him "just one more time baby please" even if you've cum a lot already its never enough. The way your walls clench and tighten around him has his hands going to your hips to hold you in place as he fucks up into you.

Cums buckets. Brain in autopilot as he fucks you and barely realizes he's gonna cum until his heavy balls are tightening up and his toes are curling. "Can I cum inside baby? Can I? Please?" You could barely say anything from the way his cock was pummeling your insides but as soon as "yes 'chiro please fill me up" leaves your lips he's moaning your name and spurting hot cum deep inside you, as deep as he can press his hips.

Aftercare king! Carries you to the shower to clean you off and press kisses against any skin within his reach, praises and love spilling from his lips like prayers as he holds you and let's the hot water cascade over your tired bodies.

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part One

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: I’ve written a decent portion of this but know I won’t keep writing it or post it unless I hold myself accountable and get it out there in the first place 🙈 I haven’t written much for Marvel yet but I’ve read plenty and have written for other fandoms in the past (not to mention the writing degree on my wall lol). I’ll try to post every 2-3 days to keep this moving! And if you like it and want to, buy me a coffee!

No one knew Tony Stark had a daughter. No one but Tony Stark and his daughter. Well, and her step-mom Pepper. And her godfather Rhodey. And her uncle-not-uncle Happy. But no one in their everyday lives knew. She was given her mother’s maiden name and kept a secret, even when she turned 17 and moved to a small apartment near NYU’s campus (with Happy stationed right next door, of course) to start life as a truly normal adult, or as close to normal as an undercover Stark could be. When she graduated with her PhDs in robotics and electrical engineering at 25 — proving brains really do run in the family — she moved into her own apartment in Manhattan, funded by her father under the pseudonym “Michael Myers.” Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Fortunately for you, growing up without the Stark name let you live a relatively normal life. It also allowed you to apply for a position within Stark Industries without being ushered past any red tape because of who your father is. Outside of the financial advantage you had, you worked for your spot in a STEM career. You suffered through every man in your field belittling your work despite knowing less than you. You dealt with the constant interruptions and “well, actually” because of your gender. You powered through late nights and early mornings when your mind was flowing too smoothly to quit.

The last thing you wanted to do was have all that work disregarded because you shared a name with genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. So you filled out the application, sent in your resume and cover letter, and attached three letters of recommendation from your professors. You went through hours of interviews, background checks (conveniently redacting your father’s name), and polygraph tests until that offer letter showed up in your email. You even had to sign the Non-Disclosure Agreements that would bar you from discussing *anything* work-related with anyone outside of your department.

You spent your first year in the weapons analysis department, evaluating alien weaponry and determining how it worked and how to disable it. You had your fair share of mishaps, of course. Holes blasted into walls, fried robot dummies, even burnt animal carcasses. By the end of your first year, your supervisor sent a commendation and proposal for you for an undisclosed promotion. After Pepper Potts “thoroughly examined your resume, cover letter, and accomplishments during your tenure with Stark Industries,” as the letter read, you were awarded a position working on the Avengers’ weapons as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist. You’d never see a fight in-person, but you were assigned to work on advancements and post-battle repairs for everyone, from the Winter Soldier’s arm to the Falcon’s wings to Vision’s... everything. The only heroes you wouldn’t work on were Iron Man and War Machine (those were your dad’s territory) and Spider-Man.

On your first day in your new position, the one and only Pepper Potts showed you to your new lab on the 47th floor. It took all your willpower to look your step-mother in the eye and say, “Wow, Miss Potts. This is amazing. It’s such an honor to meet you,” with a straight face to convince any passerby that you had no outside affiliation with her. Even if her eyes stayed steady on you, you could see her mentally rolling them.

Once you were alone behind the doors of the elevator, conversation changed course.

“You’re going to be sharing a lab with someone else,” Pepper said.

“Sweet. As long as they’re competent, that’s fine by me,” you shrugged. Part of earning your degrees was learning to share a workspace with others, even those who bumbled and fumbled with no idea what they were doing. You’d had more hair singed by nearby explosions than you’d like to admit.

“He’s still in college so he’s not here as often as the others. Most of his work will be on Spider-Man’s gadgets and suit, but you can use him for any help you need.”

Walking past the familiar faces of Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho in their respective labs, Pepper ushered you into your lab, where you were met by your father and put on the same excited facade you did with Pepper.

“Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark! This is incredible! It’s such an honor to meet you, sir!”

He shook his head at you and reluctantly accepted your outstretched hand. Oh, the jokes you’d be making at family dinners.

“Yeah, anyway, this is your new lab, Miss [Y/L/N]. Make yourself at home. This lab rat over here is mister Parker. If you have any questions, he can at least bullshit an answer for you.”

The young man on the other side of the lab perked up at the sound of his name. He tugged the goggles off his face and set down his soldering rod to rush over to you.

“Hi. Hi, I’m Peter,” he said, reaching his hand out to you.

“I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you, lab partner.”

He looked to be a bit younger than you and at least relatively smart, if the MIT sweatshirt peeking out from under his lab coat said anything. If your dad gave him an internship like this, you knew you shouldn’t question it. He had to be a genius.

The kid just smiled at you, continuing to shake your hand past what most would deem socially acceptable.

“Okay, enough of that,” Tony said, pushing on your joined hands to separate you two. “Mister Parker might be in and out of the lab from time to time. He joins the Avengers on the occasional recon mission for immediate repairs but since he’s on break from classes, you’ll see him more often than not. Play nice.”

When he noticed you surreptitiously looking Peter up and down, he added, “Remember, no fraternizing with coworkers.” He pointed a finger directly at you before he spun and pointed to your fellow lab mate, realizing he should warn Peter too to save face.

“All the blueprints you need for the Tin Man’s arm are in the system. We’ll have you start on that and see what you can do about minimizing the sound that thing makes. Any other questions, give Pep a call.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really do appreciate everything,” you said genuinely.

“Yeah, well… don’t let me down,” he replied, patting you on the shoulder on his way out. Pepper followed close behind, leaving you alone with Peter Parker.

“So Peter,” you started, sliding onto the lab chair next to where he remained standing, “tell me about yourself.”

“Uh… what do you want to know?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“How old are you?” you asked immediately.

“I’m 21.”

Only four years younger than you. So you’d probably get along just fine.

“I assume you’re at MIT?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

“Biomolecular and mechanical engineering.” He said it so casually, you’d think he was talking about the last song he heard on the radio.

“Damn,” you responded, eyes wide. “I thought robotics and electrical engineering was wild but fuck, that sounds like hell.”

He laughed and nodded, letting a bit of the tension in his shoulders fall. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.”

He shot you a small smile before gesturing back at his project. “I should probably get back to work and let you get started.”

For the rest of the day, you familiarized yourself with the Winter Soldier’s arm to figure out how to… turn the volume down? You assumed it was the gears inside causing the noise, but part of you wanted to outfit an audio jack and speaker just to fuck with your dad.

You and Peter worked in relative silence, aside from the playlist he had quietly playing through the lab sound system. When lunch rolled around, however, you finally spoke up.

“Hey Peter,” you called, his eyes flicking from the chemical beakers in front of him up to you. “First of all, what are you doing?”

“Um, it’s Spider-Man’s web fluid. Just trying to find more durable combinations.”

“Interesting.” As much as you wanted to touch the stringy substance, you knew better than to fiddle with someone else’s lab work. “Okay so second thing, in my last position, I’d just order food and have it brought to my floor but now that I’m on an exclusive floor, what do you do for lunch?”

“Oh, there are a couple security guys who have clearance to come into this floor. They just can’t get into any rooms so you’d have to meet them at the elevator. But I usually find something in the kitchen down the hall.”

“Oh, sweet. Thanks!” you said as you made your way out the door. Before you could fully exit, you turned back to see if Peter wanted you to grab anything. Once he promised he’d take his own break ‘once I get this one thing figured out,’ you continued to make your way to the kitchen.

As you drew closer to the doorway, you could hear three voices speaking over each other. They didn’t sound angry, but they were definitely arguing. You opened the door anyway and almost immediately froze in your tracks. The Falcon stood with one hand on his own head and one on the Winter Soldier’s head while Captain America rolled his eyes before those same eyes landed on you, along with the rest of the room.

“Perfect,” Sam started. “Hey new girl, between the three of us,” he said, pointing to himself, the Soldier, and the Captain, “who has the best hair?”

“First of all, my name is [Y/N]. Second,” you continued, making your way past them to the fridge you hoped your dad kept stocked with goodies, “that’s an unfair question.”

You grabbed a soda and popped it open before turning back to the three men. “Your hair suits each of you. Cap wouldn’t look good with Winter Soldier hair and Falcon wouldn’t look good with Cap’s hair.” You took a few steps closer, leaning against the island counter between you and eyeing each of them. Your eyes settled on the Winter Soldier, unashamedly flitting across his face and admiring the sharpness of his features. “You,” pointing at him, “could probably pull off either of their looks, though.”

Bucky smirked at you, but his rosy cheeks gave away a hint of embarrassment at your compliment. Steve and Sam, on the other hand, weren’t taking it quite as gracefully.

“What?!” Sam shouted. “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I could pull off Cap’s hair for sure.”

“You know, I think shaggy hair would really suit me,” Cap said, only half sarcastically.

You giggled to yourself as the three of them started talking over each other again, all dead set on their own hair being the best of them and positive they could pull off the others’ looks. While they bickered, you searched the pantry until you found a snack to at least get you through the remainder of the day.

“Alright boys, it’s been fun but I have work to do,” you said as you walked past them again. “Actually, wait. Bucky — can I call you Bucky?” He nodded even though you continued anyway. “If you could stop by lab six today, I’d love to check out your arm in person. The digital renderings aren’t quite the same.”

“Uh, okay. Sure. I’ll find you,” he said quietly.

“Sweet, thanks!” And with that, you skedaddled back to your lab.