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#or link you to a generic post about the thing you asked them about
mangosaurus · 2 days
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Hi! Love your jwcc fanarts! (Hope u don't think my question is to annoying lmao 😭❤️)
I wanna ask u what do u think about that theory abt Ben gf being a catfish? Maybe one of that people that have been hunting them idk. Some posts claim it's actually Brooklyn trying to keep herself updated about the whole situation?? TO MUCH THEORIES
Also if the gf is actually real I'm curious about your opinion. Like I saw a post saying that Ben could be Bi, Pan, etc, but really, I am bisexual myself and there is no bi subtext on that boy... and it's not like they suddenly are gonna officialize he is bi/pan, or give him this type of subtext at this point of the franchise. Is not cool when people call "bi/pan" a media trying to avoid dealing with a character queerness. It's just painful that people think this is a real way of portrait of a bi/pan experience. It's not!!
AW thank you so much! i know i haven't posted much art lately but it still makes me really happy to hear that people enjoy it. and your question isn't annoying at all, don't worry about it :) i love receiving and answering asks, it doesn't matter what they're about
the more time that passes the more plausible the catfish GF theory sounds to me. if i had to guess, ben probably met his girlfriend online, possibly through dark jurassic (which a lot of the fandom seems to be in consensus about). as for it being brooklynn ... not too sure about that one! i've mostly treated it as a crack theory up until now, if just because of how absurd it sounds on paper, but i wouldn't put it past brooklynn to pull something like that. keeping in touch with ben is probably one of her only links back to her friends, besides her contact with ronnie (who is only partially connected to darius at this point, since he quit the DPW). i'd recommend giving these two posts by kitabearuwu a read if you're interested in exploring that theory further.
now if the girlfriend is real: i obviously can't speak for you or other bi/pan/otherwise mspec people, but i've come to not care all that much, if i'm being honest. it was definitely a shock to hear, as was the intended effect, since darius, sammy, and yasmina all initially reacted with surprise. but my question is what harm does ben having a girlfriend in chaos theory pose? like, does it play into any negative stereotypes? does it communicate a dangerous message about queer people? i've seen some people argue that it perpetuates the notion that mlm relationships are "icky" and shouldn't be portrayed in media, but i have to disagree, respectfully.
i think it's also really important to remember that subtext is ... ultimately kind of subjective, and is totally independent of the creator's intentions. that's the whole point of subtext—it exists below (hence the prefix sub-) the underbelly of the text. you have to be looking for it to see it, basically. and for a long time, the fandom (or at least the queer part of the fandom) subtextually read ben as gay! a lot of that had to do with his rather intimate interactions with the other boys, juxtaposed against the way he rejected yasmina when he thought she had a crush on him ("i like you, but i don't like like you ... i'm just now starting to find myself"). but ... i don't know, if we want to start citing text, you could also argue that ben's whole thing about not putting him in a box circa jwcc s5 could be a point towards him being generally unlabeled, which leaves room for him being mspec.
if i had to make some definitive statement on the matter, i guess it'd be that this fandom gets really bogged down by the specific labels of these characters, when it's really not all that necessary. this is still a gay show made by gay people featuring unapologetically gay characters in explicitly gay relationships, of which has been some of the best gay rep i've ever seen in media. and having that kind of representation on TV matters more to me than knowing what ben specifically identifies as, even if it doesn't align with my headcanon. it doesn't have to! but i also don't know for sure if it doesn't align with my headcanon, because we haven't gotten the full story yet. ben's girlfriend is most likely gonna be of some importance, given that he mentioned her twice without going into much detail about her. that leaves a lot of room in future seasons to expand upon who she is and her role in both the greater narrative and ben's life specifically, including his identity. i just think it's best we reserve judgement at this point, basically
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panlight · 2 days
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Hi,
Just a question I wanted to ask about. How do you head-cannon the familial(or perhaps lack thereof) dynamics of the other major covens in twilight? eg. Egyptians, Denali, Irish etc
I was thinking about this the other day like with the Denali - Carmen and Eleazar are physically older and perhaps frozen at a more mature age but physically younger members like Kate have been around for longer and I was just intrigued by how these factors might affect their dynamic. Also with the Egyptian coven and how with them ‘generation gap’ literally takes on a whole new definition that makes one wonder if they genuinely do have a unique rapport with each other after being in close proximity for so long.
Feel free to ignore - just my little brain dump lmao. Love reading your posts and hope you keep writing!
Have a great day!
I conceptualize Eleazar and Carmen as the 'Alice and Jasper' of the Denali coven. They are a couple who join an established, venom-linked couple sometime later. The Denali sisters had their 'mother' for presumably centuries, and then existed as a trio for a long time before Eleazar and Carmen show up, so while I'm certain they did shift the dynamics somewhat, I don't see them as 'parental' in any real way. They are similar to Esme and Carlisle in personality, but that's where it ends for me. The sisters are very loyal to the memory of their mother, and they've been around too long to let anyone 'parent' them. To be fair, I feel similarly about Jasper; I don't think Esme and Carlisle 'parent' him; he's old enough to be Esme's grandfather, for one thing, but I also think he doesn't need or want the parental stuff. Affection, friendship, companionship, mentorship (re: vegetarianism), sure! "Jasper honey wash your face and put on your boots it's time for school! Did you finish all your homework?" I can't see it.
I think Eleazar is also like 'the Jasper' in the sense that he has some useful skills and knowledge from his time with the Volturi. He's not the leader -- Tanya is -- but she may rely on him for certain things, just like Carlisle can turn to Jasper for his knowledge of newborns and vampire warfare.
Beyond that I see them as adopted siblings of the original sisters and probably each have unique relationships within that framework. Maybe Irina was closer to Carmen while Tanya is closer to Eleazar or whatever.
With the Egyptians I think there is a more parental role for Amun and to a lesser extent, Kebi. Amun is Benjamin's creator and while that bond doesn't always become parental, given how young Benjamin was (15) it seems like it most naturally would in this case. I don't think Kebi necessarily sees him as a 'son' in quite the same way . . . maybe more like a step-son. He's Amun's son and she loves Amun so okay, this kid is here to stay, but I think she resents on some level that she has to 'share' Amun's affection with him. Tia is definitely IMO a daughter-in-law rather than a daughter. Amun puts up with it because it makes Benjamin happy and he wants to keep Benjamin around. But with Amun there's always that overlay of what he REALLY cares about is the power. I think he does have a lot of affection for Benjamin but it's hard to separate that from his pride at having this amazingly powerful vampiric offspring.
There is a huge generation gap though! Amun and Kebi are literally from Ancient Egypt and Benjamin and Tia are from like, early 1800s Egypt. Completely different religion, culture, language, etc. I remember finding it a little strange in that short film that they were talking about Benjamin stealing fire from Ra; it's the 1800s, Egypt had been a Muslim-majority country for several hundred years by that point. (Also 'Ra' was probably some dude Amun knew back in the day!) Interestingly, 'Tia' was a name used in Ancient Egypt. Not sure how common it was in the late 1700s/early 1800s though.
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hi, I saw one of ur posts talking Abt things that shouldn't be done for vitiligo rep, and one thing u mentioned was the like connect to animals that r black and white. I was wondering about kinda like, the reverse of that? The reason is I have a character I was designing who's kind of similarish to a mermaid, and I wanted to base some of his design off an orca. I was considering doing the black/white coloration, but I was wondering if that would be too similar to vitiligo. Personally his design is very early with regard to animal motif stuff, so I can put the orca elements into his design in other ways, but I also wanted to ask what you feel might be preferable handling with similar cases (like zebra centaurs, panda or cow humans and other animals who naturally have black/white coloring or similar contrasting colors)-
The main question is if u think the characters actually bringing up that they don't have vitiligo, but rather have common patterns, like saying "most of us have skin/hair/etc color variation bc it's just how our pigment works by default, but ppl with vitiligo have it bc of autoimmune reasons + (giving details on it and maybe mentioning a diff character in story w vitiligo)"
having the variation only affect specific things, for example black/white hair (like an orca mermaid having white eyebrows that mimic orca eyespots) without the skin pigmentation being affected (potentially also bringing up vitiligo to make it specific they aren't connected)
Or just trying to avoid having any animal based color choices that evoke the image of vitiligo, which is totally understandable if u feel the prev examples are still linking vitiligo to animals in a way that's ultimately harmful ppl w vitiligo.
Mostly I wonder if explicitly stating it's a different thing would actually help to combat the idea, or if it's just one of those things that is better to completely avoid doing
Hello!
I think it depends on how far it goes is the determining factor. A zebra centaur who has the zebra coloration on their horse part isn't a problem and doesn't evoke a vitiligo connection, the same way that a gray horse part wouldn't evoke argyria. I would say that the same goes for hair coloration, in media the hair color is kinda "anything goes" either way.
But if you want to make a mermaid who has an orca bottom half, and vitiligo on the upper half, that is an issue. The problem is that readers, and people in general, just don't see the nuance and end up linking animal coloration with vitiligo anyway - I mean, it's not like cows in real life have it, but people still get compared to them. The visual is enough, even if there are in-universe explanations, in my opinion. Vitiligo is still dramatically misunderstood, and it's very much a case of "if it looks like vitiligo, it is vitiligo" when it comes to design choices like this.
In short; animal part with black/white coloration: cool, hair/eyebrows/etc: cool, skin: not cool. It just hits too close to the real life condition.
With that said, I don't think there's an issue having a character with vitiligo who's part animal if you're not trying to link the two. A catfish mermaid with vitiligo on her human part would be cool :-)
And for other ideas when it comes to mermaids and disability - a lot of people with limb differences that I know would enjoy a clownfish mermaid with an upper limb difference, the term "lucky fin" exists for a reason:-)!
I hope this helps!
mod Sasza
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anulithots · 2 days
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NOORIE. I JUST WATCHED EP 3-5 OF LINK CLICK AND I BAWLED MY EYES OUT. I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS MUCH EMOTIONAL DAMAGE WHYYYYY
off topic but like scattered thoughts:
i don't know if you know this but what they're chanting during the game (龙阳之好 — meaning longyang's interest) is basically a phrase that refers to gay relationships. this has to be intentional. right. right. right. anyways if you'd like you can learn more about lord longyang in this brief wikipedia page
cheng xiaoshi's basketball flashback thing with lu guang is peak queer cinema. casually called him his partner and made a profound metaphor on trust on the spot. no one is doing it like him. icon
the captain's (i think his name was hong bin??) accent changes drastically when he's around his family — i don't live in china so i can't pinpoint which region it's from, but just think of it as the chinese equivalent of a country accent. skfjd just thought that was a cute detail
embarrassing but for like the tiniest moment but with the dramatic sunlight and the gentle music i fr thought that implied that hong bin was chen xiao's first love... my stupidity knows no bounds
when cheng xiaoshi is 'in the body' of another person in the past, how much of his emotions are his, and how much of them are the other person's? ...this calls for a character psychoanalysis
okay thank you for listening to my rant. sfjdskfjkfjsj going to scream into my pillow now
KDFJKLDSJF KSDJF
EPSIDOE THREEE THROUGH FIVE ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING, IF NTO THE MOST EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING EPSIDOES IN ALL OF CINEMA (I'm weak for parents singing lullabies and providing comfort that ends tragically. I never stood a chance.) /pos
OKAY RESPONDING TO YOUR THOUGHTS! (sorry if this seems disjointed I'm going through an 'execuative dysfuntino floaty-float cloud rn... yes feeligns I know how to describe those.)
OHMIGOSH THE GAY CHANT. YES IT HAS TO BE INTENTIONAL. THey just get more queer the more you watch. Their shop literally has their ship name.
The manhua exists.
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If this isn't the most queer platonic/gay thing I've ever seen... I don't know what is.
OOOH and I have to tag @celestialsun123 and @mylee-sketches in this just for that point GAY BASKETBALL CHANT WOWOWOO
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This ep was also just like... very queer. SO queer. the most queer coded thing I've ever watched in my life (they wanted to convince us we were safe, that this would be a fun little gay time travel show.)
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Holy herbs. You know what? The censorship just made them more creative and this is more queer than if it were cannon (just shiguang in general actually... it gets even better as you go on)
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ANd the shorts as wellll... also Qiao Ling literally asks Lu Guang 'so what do you like about Cheng XIaoshi?' Like she's honestly the biggest shiguang shipper of us all.
The accent thing IS such a cute detail yess. The way that entire town was written with so much life and little things, each character having depth and intrigue from the get go... only for... episode five.. . and ... *ugly sobbing*
(Especially Chen Xiao's mom. I've honestly rarely seen parents written as well as they are in link click.)
PFT YES YES I ALSO THOUGHT HONG BIN AND CHENG XIAO were supposed to be queer coded in that scene. It's very vibes.
OHMIGOSH THE CHENG XIAOHSHI POSESSION THING CONSUMES SO MUCH OF MY THOUGHTS IT"S SO INTERESTING AS BOTH A NARRATIVE DEVICE AND PART OF HIS CHARACTER. I have a post here:
Theorizing on how Cheng Xiaoshi's emotions work when he's possessing people
with some theories behind it, and lots of notes and anlysis that are... in the works (I'm on my second rewatch of season one but I'm silly and keep rewatching the same scene six times before I watch the next... rinse repeat I've been rewatching for a half a month now.)
LIke the layers and layers and layers in this show are insanneeeee.
Also boba tea:
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and... screenshot collection (It's so hard to screenshot shows holy herbs. I wish the manhua adapatation of the first season - where it's all the same as the show - was available online)
(not goign to include any spoilers)
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....and I reached my image limit.
THANK YOU FOR TALKING WITH ME ABOUT LINK CLICK AKLDFSJKLDSJFKLDSJFDKLSFJDSLKFJDS.
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hiroshotreplica · 2 days
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im sorry you probably dont want this in your askbox but i dont really think it makes sense to talk about madness and leafi the same way for a lot of reasons. Idk maybe im just seeing a transgirl getting relentlessly dogpiled because of old screenshots and having an over-empathetic response but fuck man she was 13 when those screenshots were taken. Shes not even 18 right now shes crazy young for her level of play (like literally should be community banned for lying about being 13 for multiple years during splatoon 2 to get around discord community guidelines but thats a tangent). She said in her apology she was trying to fit in with a real shitty group of people she doesn't associate with anymore and fuck man im probably giving herself way too much grace cause i seeing a terrifying exaggeration of something i went through on a public scale but like people are editing HER face onto memes and talking shit about HER and constantly misgendering her when madness is not only an actual adult but has been ACTUALLY DOING THIS SHIT RECENTLY. im not saying the shit she was saying wasnt heinous but fuck man this isnt gonna help her and i dont want the dumass bullshit she said when she was a middle schooler to ruin the rest of her life. sorry for the white girl mental illness blast but there is important context in this ranty anxiety and projection goop
anon asked for a tldr for the situation w/ jackpot as a whole, which included leafi's part in the situation. as the post was about how jackpot as a team has made racist statements. i chose screenshots that put my point clearly, which just so happened to be screenshots with madness and leafi. i'll go more into it here, though
i did not mean to compare her to madness when including screenshots of her old statements. i was compiling the most blatant screenshots from the thread i had originally linked in a prior post. i was going to include other things, but didnt have the time to compile them and was beginning to get stressed about being the source of this info on tumblr.
i was also going to include this video of her saying racist statements in 2024, but i didnt want to include a twitter link for an anon that couldnt access twitter. im realizing i shouldve done so
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i do feel bad for her getting involved with a group of people THAT bad if she was truly that ignorant when she was younger, but thats where my sympathy ends. she still acted racist and still associated with clearly racist people even when she was older and more mature. ive learned since making that post that she was born in 2007. 16 is still an age where you should be mature enough to understand that those comments are racist, even with america's shitty public education system glossing over racism.
i definitely see why this can look like people dogpiling on a trans woman though, and the people doing memes and editing her into them in general about this situation are disgusting. i had no idea she was trans and that people were misgendering her. anyone making this situation about her being trans are awful and not people i stand by.
but all of that, including her being skilled despite her age, still doesnt forgive or erase her actions. nothing like that does for the other members of jackpot that have also stated racist things. nothing like that does for any other comp splatoon player that has said anything similar. the apology she put out was needed, but from what ive heard from others, it wasnt the best. she is writing another apology, though, so it couldve just been rushed.
no one has to accept her apology, either. as a white person myself, im not one that should even be one to accept her apology. it wasnt an apology for me, and it isnt one for you, either (if you are white as you say but i might be misreading). people should not be painted in a negative light for not accepting her apology even if it were an amazing one.
the way some people are reacting to this situation is not okay, but she still did awful things that she should be held accountable for. the other guilty members of jackpot are not better than her, but theyve all still said fucked up things. none of them have done anything to prove they arent racist, and theres only more evidence coming out that proves that they have been, so its hard to process at the moment.
could things change? yes, of course, but as of right now, leafi has stated racist things as recent as 2024 and put out a poor apology trying to defend herself. people are handling it poorly and trying to make it about her identity and making memes on it when it is not the right thing to do. these racist claims are being put w/ other racist claims made by other jackpot team members so it was included in my tldr post about the entire situation.
i apologize for poor wording in this, im not the best w/ these kinds of posts
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tls123 · 2 years
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no bond is stronger than that of gifmakers on tumblr dot com
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mail-me-a-snail · 3 months
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i think one of the only things vance has actually published is a simple infographic on data port and personal link consent. by publish i mean he wrote it out on a shard in the middle of the night and anonymously sent it careening thru the net
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months
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I’m always paranoid of my tumblr being deleted or malfunctioning or something like that someday, so here’s other places to find me/follow me, just in case lol
~ instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lucalicatte/
~ main youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/LucaLiCatte
~ games/sims youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@cloudycatte
~ facebook page (I rarely use this because I hate facebook but.. it at least allows text posts better than instagram does, so idk maybe I’d use it more if tumblr went away? lol) - https://www.facebook.com/cloudycatteart/
~ Other Links (stuff I don’t use often/isn’t Main enough to list here, like twitter, neopets, other tumblr sideblogs, youtube channels, etc.) are here - http://icewindandboringhorror.tumblr.com/otherlinks )
#An updated version of this since some of the links on the old one are no longer the same lol#I might make a website website one day (not with a custom domain since I'm not paying for that/dont have the money lol#but like a 'my name.weebly.com type thing lol) but I haven't had the time recently. If I ever get around to it I'll update the post and#reblog that version. ANYWAY.. I just like to have one of these written out to reblog every once in a while. During the once ever few months#when poeple are like 'tumblr is failing again! it wont survive!' which has happened like 80 times but I'm still always like :0c what if!#also love the ms paint art done with a mouse ghhj#ANYWAY.. also if you want to see the stinky game I made that's not actually related to my own worldbuilding really (why I have never#posted anything about it publilcy because it's like.. how do I talk about it lol) I have my itch.io linked in the 'other links' page#as well as my General Projects blog. which talks about all the ongoing and upcoming projects I want to do that are#actually set in my world and can give you previews of some of the things I'm working on. Currently resuming my Game after abandoning it#basically for the entire pandemic and a little before that - as mentioned before - so that's OUgh.. in terms of A Lot Of Work#Especially since while kind of 'revamping and updating' I want to add a few features which are mostly easy but every once in a while#I don't understand something and it's like....... hGGhh...... Ironically despite Blogging I just hate talking to people in public open foru#.. I love privacy and security lol.. and I always feel that ONE day I am going to have a question that has not already been asked on a foru#somewhere and I am going to have to post myself and.. no.. I shan't even imagine it.. It's not even really social anxiety it's just like..#efficiency.. instead of wating like days to get an accurate response and resolve the problem with the general public I would rather just ha#e a one time 30min conversation with an expert and resolve it quickly. PLUS then I also only interact with One stranger instead of Many Of#Them lol.. any 6+ yrs of experience Ren'py experts hmu so I can pay you like $50 to have a single 45min conversation#with me over an insanely simple question and then never talk to you again until a year later when I have a second question. hhjb#ANYWAY.. I still really don't like instagram or it's layout and I never understood how it works like.. if I should be tagging photos or wha#or how you really use it and I just... euGH... stimky.. but it is one of the most popular so I feel obligated to link it. I wish facebook w#sn't such a nasty poo poo because I do actually like the variety of posts you can make and how Pages on facebook operate. In the scense of#it being similar to tumblr that you can make a VARIETy of styles of post. not just Only Post Photos or Only Short Text or Only Video which#is still like.. how the funk does sutff like that even get popular lol.. the Limited nature.. hewwo.. but alas.. and NO way I'm touching#fucking Threads please do not make an account on there and don't let your friends do it and don't let that shit catch on lol.#BUT YEahg... links...... just in case.. i hope tumblr stays aroundin it's current format forever though lol..#I'm pretty sure even facebook doesn't have audio posts. or tags the way this does. or CHRONOLOGICAL FEED. custom html for pages.. aaaaa
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whoatemyshoe · 3 months
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"just google it" "do your own homework" "google is free" "find it yourself the information is out there"
but they are. they are asking people who have that information, for the information. they are doing their homework by reaching out and asking people questions. just because it's not typed on a search bar, doesn't mean it's any less of putting an effort to finding things out.
like i'm sorry people in the past refused/ridiculed you when you asked them for help. doesn't mean you have to be like them tho. why is learning through human interaction rejected in favour of isolated learning?
#my posts#rants#im part of the organising team for the women's march in my city#and someone interested to join the march was asking public transport directions to the march#the immediately response from the social media team in our group chat was to berate that person for being lazy/not doing their homework#like sure the transit map is available on the website#but anyone who takes public transport in my city KNOWS that the trains and maps are unreliable in so many ways#i was exploring a different line yesterday and got on the wrong train despite being on the correct platform#and i take public transport regularly and have a good sense of direction but the public transport here isnt designed to be user friendly#if they had to ask which line they should interchange at you KNOW they are clueless and probably terrified of the public transportation her#and yet as organisers they refuse to make it easier for people to participate at a march no one owes us to attend#they just gave them a link and asked them to figure it out themselves#i am very familiar with that route and i just KNOW the interchange is confusing and large enough that beginner commuters will get lost#and you know what could happen if someone struggles to navigate public transport? they probably would just go home instead#they blame the education system for producing youngsters who are spoon fed#girl the older generation said the exact same thing about your generation pls#your misdirected anger is being projected at the victim of this system instead of at the actual problem#which is what i've been observing from career activists around me and more#you claim to fight for the people#but the very people you're fighting for are asking you for help#yet you refuse to help them unless it's through significant policies or drastic systemic changes#your fight is conditional and only convenient for you but you refuse to admit it and then pretend the opposite#the moment they decided that they would 'teach them a lesson' indirectly by forcing them to figure out their own routes#they've already fallen into that activist trap of thinking they are above everyone else and that they are here to teach people how to#be a better person according to their standards because they know better by being more involved in activism and are better educated#instead of putting themselves in the girl's shoes and not assuming the worst of people as the default#maybe that girl is new in town and is unfamiliar with public transport here#maybe they had a bad experience getting lost before and wanted someone experienced to share some commuting tips to avoid getting lost#maybe she would rather pull her teeth out than try to figure out the route with unreliable mountains of information online#maybe she has executive dysfunction that makes filtering through tons of information to find that ONE route very daunting
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toytulini · 10 months
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not to shill for tumblr or be a mobile user on main but i do just wanna point out i think the response to the dashboard clown thing is a little disproportionate, all things considered
like if you just dont like the show thats fine but the way some of these posts are worded very weirdly and acting like its somehow way worse than.....literally any of the other ads? like yea tumblr is a company and not your friend, netflix is unethical and sucks. but like. are we pretending tumblr hasnt had ads for like. horrible fad diets and the fucking trump coin and god knows what else but like this really isnt worse than like. the fact that ppl with strobing triggers are constantly endangered by the ads on this site.
and maybe its super bad on desktop or something but so far this ad campaign has actually been one of the less obtrusive ones vs their other ads, imo. I dont think ive really seen them in between the posts on my dashboard? (hard to tell bc I try to automatically ignore those anyway) but like it feels like most of this ad campaign has been. a little fictional character at the top of the dashboard. and like. a separate dashboard "tab".....that i dont have to look at, and i dont. and its fine. i barely even noticed it. i probably wouldnt have thought twice about it if everyone hadnt started complaining about it. if tumblr wants to do more ads that are just dashboard tabs that I dont actually have to look at and arent interrupting my main dash i think im fine with that actually. like. obviously no advertisements are better than ads but like i dont have a particular problem with the structure or honestly even the content of this ad. its for a show that i might be intrigued to watch honestly. but its also not being targeted to me personally based on data harvesting its just blanket targeting to everyone.
again, id prefer no ads, but if we're going have them: i would actually prefer it be for things i might be interested in, but without the data harvesting to do it. if i HAVE to see ads, this is a way that i dont mind as much.
#toy txt post#sorry if you have a clown phobia ig. i hope one of the many posts with instructions on how to make the clown go away have been helpful for#you. i would like to point out that people can have phobias and triggers of Literally Anything so its not like there is anything that can be#advertised that is Fine For Everyone. i will admit clowns are a fairly common phobia but again i will point out the diet ads#and ask why we arent more incensed generally about the ubiquity of fatphobia in culture. and i will point out the unavoidable flashing ads#that have been a danger to ppl w strobing triggers. be that for migraines or epilepsy etc. both bad.#and i will point out. i dont THINK the clown has been strobing and i dont think the one piece ad campaign on tumblr dot com has been#particularly strobey? and i would just like to also say. its not even a scary clown. its not even like a horror ad. hes literally just like#a clown. its like walking past a spirit halloween. and tbh tis the season. sorry#idk. again. i think its fine to dislike the ads i think its fine to dislike clowns and one piece! but like#do you have to pretend its like The Virtuous Position of Righteous Outrage over an Ethical Transgression??? its literally fine#as far as my Problems With Tumblr Staff Go. Putting A Little Clown On The Dashboard As An Ad for a show is like#i dont. really give a shit. its fine. its cringe ig but what isnt. its fine to be cringe. its actually more cringe imo bc its an ad than the#the content itself being `cringey` bc u can cringe all day long at weeb nerd interests and for what? how dare genuine interest in media#i will say mixed bag of like. using ppls art within the ad campaign. not sure what the right thing to do there is tho#bc i think its honestly kind of a bad combo of tumblr trying to earnestly promote artists on the site#by reblogging and linking their work. but it is also. exploiting their art for advertisements without apparently asking or compensating them#WHICH. is still somehow a step above like hot topic and shit. bc tumblr is. i think? doing the bare minimum of linking to the artist? and#not presenting it as smth they made. perhaps in the future they could maintain the cool thing of trying to earnestly promote the work of#independent artists without it being as exploitative by like. asking permission to the artist to use their art and MAYBE even pay them#altho ig that can be tricky for things like this where its kind of fanart. but i do think they could work it out. like theyre clearly#already talking w netflix and shit so they could work a licensing deal w the artists or smth. but then that is also tricky rn specifically#bc of the strike. tumblr is a company that does not intend to join the unions. and generally i would probably prefer companies commission#independent artists in this way i think that would be cool. but in this situation specifically it would suck for the artist bc if they#approve it and get compensated for it instead of it just being fanart. now theyre Promoting A Struck Company Officially i think?#im not gonna pretend to know the details of what is and isnt allowed for influencers but if someone happens to like. be an artist who wants#to also get into sag aftra that might become a problem. idk! if nothing else. it definitely seems more complicated to navigate than tumblr#itself doing an ad campaign for netflix. which again. netflix sucks shit. but its not like Tumblr Ads(tm) are known for being only ethical#companies. i just saw like 5 ads for audible on my dash. you know. a company that i believe has had some shady shit w how it treats authors#and is owned by amazon.so like. idk. Advertising A Netflix Show is not high on my list of issues i have w staff or how theyre running things
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How I got scammed
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security
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I wuz robbed.
More specifically, I was tricked by a phone-phisher pretending to be from my bank, and he convinced me to hand over my credit-card number, then did $8,000+ worth of fraud with it before I figured out what happened. And then he tried to do it again, a week later!
Here's what happened. Over the Christmas holiday, I traveled to New Orleans. The day we landed, I hit a Chase ATM in the French Quarter for some cash, but the machine declined the transaction. Later in the day, we passed a little credit-union's ATM and I used that one instead (I bank with a one-branch credit union and generally there's no fee to use another CU's ATM).
A couple days later, I got a call from my credit union. It was a weekend, during the holiday, and the guy who called was obviously working for my little CU's after-hours fraud contractor. I'd dealt with these folks before – they service a ton of little credit unions, and generally the call quality isn't great and the staff will often make mistakes like mispronouncing my credit union's name.
That's what happened here – the guy was on a terrible VOIP line and I had to ask him to readjust his mic before I could even understand him. He mispronounced my bank's name and then asked if I'd attempted to spend $1,000 at an Apple Store in NYC that day. No, I said, and groaned inwardly. What a pain in the ass. Obviously, I'd had my ATM card skimmed – either at the Chase ATM (maybe that was why the transaction failed), or at the other credit union's ATM (it had been a very cheap looking system).
I told the guy to block my card and we started going through the tedious business of running through recent transactions, verifying my identity, and so on. It dragged on and on. These were my last hours in New Orleans, and I'd left my family at home and gone out to see some of the pre-Mardi Gras krewe celebrations and get a muffalata, and I could tell that I was going to run out of time before I finished talking to this guy.
"Look," I said, "you've got all my details, you've frozen the card. I gotta go home and meet my family and head to the airport. I'll call you back on the after-hours number once I'm through security, all right?"
He was frustrated, but that was his problem. I hung up, got my sandwich, went to the airport, and we checked in. It was total chaos: an Alaska Air 737 Max had just lost its door-plug in mid-air and every Max in every airline's fleet had been grounded, so the check in was crammed with people trying to rebook. We got through to the gate and I sat down to call the CU's after-hours line. The person on the other end told me that she could only handle lost and stolen cards, not fraud, and given that I'd already frozen the card, I should just drop by the branch on Monday to get a new card.
We flew home, and later the next day, I logged into my account and made a list of all the fraudulent transactions and printed them out, and on Monday morning, I drove to the bank to deal with all the paperwork. The folks at the CU were even more pissed than I was. The fraud that run up to more than $8,000, and if Visa refused to take it out of the merchants where the card had been used, my little credit union would have to eat the loss.
I agreed and commiserated. I also pointed out that their outsource, after-hours fraud center bore some blame here: I'd canceled the card on Saturday but most of the fraud had taken place on Sunday. Something had gone wrong.
One cool thing about banking at a tiny credit-union is that you end up talking to people who have actual authority, responsibility and agency. It turned out the the woman who was processing my fraud paperwork was a VP, and she decided to look into it. A few minutes later she came back and told me that the fraud center had no record of having called me on Saturday.
"That was the fraudster," she said.
Oh, shit. I frantically rewound my conversation, trying to figure out if this could possibly be true. I hadn't given him anything apart from some very anodyne info, like what city I live in (which is in my Wikipedia entry), my date of birth (ditto), and the last four digits of my card.
Wait a sec.
He hadn't asked for the last four digits. He'd asked for the last seven digits. At the time, I'd found that very frustrating, but now – "The first nine digits are the same for every card you issue, right?" I asked the VP.
I'd given him my entire card number.
Goddammit.
The thing is, I know a lot about fraud. I'm writing an entire series of novels about this kind of scam:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle
And most summers, I go to Defcon, and I always go to the "social engineering" competitions where an audience listens as a hacker in a soundproof booth cold-calls merchants (with the owner's permission) and tries to con whoever answers the phone into giving up important information.
But I'd been conned.
Now look, I knew I could be conned. I'd been conned before, 13 years ago, by a Twitter worm that successfully phished out of my password via DM:
https://locusmag.com/2010/05/cory-doctorow-persistence-pays-parasites/
That scam had required a miracle of timing. It started the day before, when I'd reset my phone to factory defaults and reinstalled all my apps. That same day, I'd published two big online features that a lot of people were talking about. The next morning, we were late getting out of the house, so by the time my wife and I dropped the kid at daycare and went to the coffee shop, it had a long line. Rather than wait in line with me, my wife sat down to read a newspaper, and so I pulled out my phone and found a Twitter DM from a friend asking "is this you?" with a URL.
Assuming this was something to do with those articles I'd published the day before, I clicked the link and got prompted for my Twitter login again. This had been happening all day because I'd done that mobile reinstall the day before and all my stored passwords had been wiped. I entered it but the page timed out. By that time, the coffees were ready. We sat and chatted for a bit, then went our own ways.
I was on my way to the office when I checked my phone again. I had a whole string of DMs from other friends. Each one read "is this you?" and had a URL.
Oh, shit, I'd been phished.
If I hadn't reinstalled my mobile OS the day before. If I hadn't published a pair of big articles the day before. If we hadn't been late getting out the door. If we had been a little more late getting out the door (so that I'd have seen the multiple DMs, which would have tipped me off).
There's a name for this in security circles: "Swiss-cheese security." Imagine multiple slices of Swiss cheese all stacked up, the holes in one slice blocked by the slice below it. All the slices move around and every now and again, a hole opens up that goes all the way through the stack. Zap!
The fraudster who tricked me out of my credit card number had Swiss cheese security on his side. Yes, he spoofed my bank's caller ID, but that wouldn't have been enough to fool me if I hadn't been on vacation, having just used a pair of dodgy ATMs, in a hurry and distracted. If the 737 Max disaster hadn't happened that day and I'd had more time at the gate, I'd have called my bank back. If my bank didn't use a slightly crappy outsource/out-of-hours fraud center that I'd already had sub-par experiences with. If, if, if.
The next Friday night, at 5:30PM, the fraudster called me back, pretending to be the bank's after-hours center. He told me my card had been compromised again. But: I hadn't removed my card from my wallet since I'd had it replaced. Also, it was half an hour after the bank closed for the long weekend, a very fraud-friendly time. And when I told him I'd call him back and asked for the after-hours fraud number, he got very threatening and warned me that because I'd now been notified about the fraud that any losses the bank suffered after I hung up the phone without completing the fraud protocol would be billed to me. I hung up on him. He called me back immediately. I hung up on him again and put my phone into do-not-disturb.
The following Tuesday, I called my bank and spoke to their head of risk-management. I went through everything I'd figured out about the fraudsters, and she told me that credit unions across America were being hit by this scam, by fraudsters who somehow knew CU customers' phone numbers and names, and which CU they banked at. This was key: my phone number is a reasonably well-kept secret. You can get it by spending money with Equifax or another nonconsensual doxing giant, but you can't just google it or get it at any of the free services. The fact that the fraudsters knew where I banked, knew my name, and had my phone number had really caused me to let down my guard.
The risk management person and I talked about how the credit union could mitigate this attack: for example, by better-training the after-hours card-loss staff to be on the alert for calls from people who had been contacted about supposed card fraud. We also went through the confusing phone-menu that had funneled me to the wrong department when I called in, and worked through alternate wording for the menu system that would be clearer (this is the best part about banking with a small CU – you can talk directly to the responsible person and have a productive discussion!). I even convinced her to buy a ticket to next summer's Defcon to attend the social engineering competitions.
There's a leak somewhere in the CU systems' supply chain. Maybe it's Zelle, or the small number of corresponding banks that CUs rely on for SWIFT transaction forwarding. Maybe it's even those after-hours fraud/card-loss centers. But all across the USA, CU customers are getting calls with spoofed caller IDs from fraudsters who know their registered phone numbers and where they bank.
I've been mulling this over for most of a month now, and one thing has really been eating at me: the way that AI is going to make this kind of problem much worse.
Not because AI is going to commit fraud, though.
One of the truest things I know about AI is: "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
I trusted this fraudster specifically because I knew that the outsource, out-of-hours contractors my bank uses have crummy headsets, don't know how to pronounce my bank's name, and have long-ass, tedious, and pointless standardized questionnaires they run through when taking fraud reports. All of this created cover for the fraudster, whose plausibility was enhanced by the rough edges in his pitch - they didn't raise red flags.
As this kind of fraud reporting and fraud contacting is increasingly outsourced to AI, bank customers will be conditioned to dealing with semi-automated systems that make stupid mistakes, force you to repeat yourself, ask you questions they should already know the answers to, and so on. In other words, AI will groom bank customers to be phishing victims.
This is a mistake the finance sector keeps making. 15 years ago, Ben Laurie excoriated the UK banks for their "Verified By Visa" system, which validated credit card transactions by taking users to a third party site and requiring them to re-enter parts of their password there:
https://web.archive.org/web/20090331094020/http://www.links.org/?p=591
This is exactly how a phishing attack works. As Laurie pointed out, this was the banks training their customers to be phished.
I came close to getting phished again today, as it happens. I got back from Berlin on Friday and my suitcase was damaged in transit. I've been dealing with the airline, which means I've really been dealing with their third-party, outsource luggage-damage service. They have a terrible website, their emails are incoherent, and they officiously demand the same information over and over again.
This morning, I got a scam email asking me for more information to complete my damaged luggage claim. It was a terrible email, from a noreply@ email address, and it was vague, officious, and dishearteningly bureaucratic. For just a moment, my finger hovered over the phishing link, and then I looked a little closer.
On any other day, it wouldn't have had a chance. Today – right after I had my luggage wrecked, while I'm still jetlagged, and after days of dealing with my airline's terrible outsource partner – it almost worked.
So much fraud is a Swiss-cheese attack, and while companies can't close all the holes, they can stop creating new ones.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to post about it whenever I get scammed. I find the inner workings of scams to be fascinating, and it's also important to remind people that everyone is vulnerable sometimes, and scammers are willing to try endless variations until an attack lands at just the right place, at just the right time, in just the right way. If you think you can't get scammed, that makes you especially vulnerable:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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shadowfoxsilver · 3 months
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Some tips and tricks on how to spot scam accounts in general. This isn’t a detailed explanation as I have more info on my other blog but here is some general things to go by and what to look out for overall.
The pinned post is only a few days old or even a few hours old. The text may occasionally be multicolored for the link.
The ask they sent you seems catered to a specific issue or event and looks very odd if you read it throughly. Text might seem out of place or make no sense at all by a health standpoint.
They sent you an ask after following you and have no prior interactions and isn’t someone you’ve met before. This is usually prompted when interacting with a trending post or sharing a post related to certain topics.
The blog doesn’t have very many posts. It’s usually limited to a few posts from a trending tag, a popular topic, or catered to pass at a simple glance if you don’t scroll far enough down. Most posts are made the same time as the pinned and shared seconds apart.
Even if your bio says no aid asks, the account will send you one anyway because they don’t read or don’t care they just want your money and will keep spamming asks until you share the post or block them.
Sometimes the same ask is sent from multiple accounts all using the same story and setting as the account that sent it to you at a different time. Any errors in the text don’t get fixed and it’s usually a quick way it’s a scam.
The accounts usually base their blogs overall theme around whatever is going on at that moment more often then anything else.
Sometimes the ask is about sharing their pet aid post. Any images used may be stolen off somewhere else so it’s advised to ask them questions back and see what they can tell you and if it matches.
On occasion they’ll say to answer privately because they don’t want anyone else to see the ask.
In general, most strangers asking you for money in your inbox found you from searching tags and you need to check and ensure their being honest as scammers unfortunately exist. Not everyone asking for money is a scammer! Just do your research.
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clonehub · 11 months
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SAG officially considers cosplays of current/past media as crossing the picket line as it can be seen as supporting the studios they're currently striking against.
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(link is to a series of tweets, which include the original poster of the screenshot directly asking SAG-AFTRA what the rules are for paid/influencer cosplayers who want to support the strike)
EDIT 2 (first edit in tags): the tweet in the OP has been deleted, so I'll be shutting down reblogs on this post just so people don't take the link as a solid source when it no longer exists. For context, the original link was from a content creator who'd emailed SAG-AFTRA about guidance surrounding promos, contracts, and influencers. The response from SAG-Aftra likely wasn't 100% detailed because things were still being figured out. As for more detailed questions such as what counts as an influencer and other really specific questions I've seen in the tags, that's not something I know. Maybe emailing SAG-AFTRA themselves will help, although I can't be sure.
If the original email or the FAQ were confusing to you, it's likely that it's because both were phrased in a way that would be understandable to people who'd be likely to scab, ie influencers under specific circumstances. It's not really geared toward the lay person (which is what the FAQ will make clear by their frequent use of "influencer").
Again, the notes (and frankly the original link itself) have some that this is about influencers specifically. I missed that keyword in the OP (typo). I need people to stop acting like I'm willfully fearmongering and spreading misinformation. I read the full thread. I read the entire FAQ. It's on you if you do neither. At the time of my reading the thread, the FAQ either hadn't been released yet or had just come out. I also need people to stop bringing up Neil Gaiman's Tumblr post when SAG-AFTRA has their own Official FAQ on their strike site.
For the FAQ, it's here. It's about influencers, both union and non-union. Iirc the non-union FAQ has some ways to help that non-influencers can also engage in, like using a hashtag or generally raising awareness.
If you have any questions, please please please direct them to official members of SAG-AFTRA. Email Fran Drescher herself if you somehow can. Regardless, support the WGA SAG-AFTRA strike.
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cripplecharacters · 21 hours
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in a show i like theres a character who's blinded in an accident. he does go through some emotional stuff at the start, but then he moves on and starts living with his disability (he has powers that allow him to sense beings, and is not the only person who has these powers, and does have many limitations like asking people to describe their surroundings and touching walls while he walks to be grounded).
but at the very end, he regains his vision for a few seconds right as he is about to die in order to see his lover again. how do the mods feel about this miraculous regaining of vision (this and any others that often appear in movies)?
(personally, in context, i found it romantic.. but reductive to both his disability and his character, as overcoming the weight of the tragedy and living with his disability was a major part of his character arc. i also sent this ask because of the last ask you answered. cheers!)
Hello,
So, as none of us mods are blind but I know actual blind people have thoughts about this, I'm going to direct you to @blindbeta with this. They can give you a more accurate answer directly from a blind person.
Mod Aaron
Hi,
as Aaron said, we don't currently have blind mods. With that said, a character being blinded in an accident is a trope in and of itself (not that it doesn't happen, but it's overrepresented in fiction when compared to other causes), so please take the linked post into consideration.
Second thing, do you have other disabled characters, or does the only one that you have end up dying? This isn't blindness-specific, more of a general problem. Don't kill off all your disabled characters please, and don't tokenize them.
For the "magical temporary healing" part, you should either reach out to the account Aaron has mentioned, or check out this old post we made.
mod Sasza
Hello!
We have blind mods now, yay!
Personally, I find the idea of them regaining their sight for a few seconds before their death to be a bit... iffy at best.
First of all: Why is having them see their partner so important? Why not any of the other ways that they experience each other? Why not a hug or a kiss or some sort of inside joke or pet name? Any of those could make the moment just as sweet and romantic without alienating your blind and otherwise disabled readers by showing your character's disability as something that has to be removed for them to experience this romantic moment.
Another thing that you didn't explicitly ask about but should still be considered is that sighted people writing stories about blind characters coping with their loss of vision will always be an iffy thing. The account that was linked earlier has an excellent post that goes into this but essentially, consider: Who are you telling this story for? Does it benefit your blind readers in any way or is it exclusively for the enjoyment of your sighted readers? Is there a better way for this story to be told?
In general, I'd avoid the magical temporary cure, especially since you've already realized that it would be reductive to both your character and their disability.
Cheers,
~ Mod Icarus
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I am not the asshole, and I think this whole thing is stupid, but I was promised that if I sent my side of things to this blog I could pick the hotel for our honeymoon, and I am marrying a man who once tried to take me BACKPACKING of all things, so this ask has become a necessity. In light of that:
AITA (I'm NOT) for planning the seating for our wedding in a logical way?
I got engaged in June, apparently in part because of my partner writing in to this blog (I don't know how to find or link to his posts, but I'm the man who got the cat to bite him, if that rings any bells?). At any rate, for the past ten weeks, I've been in the beginning stages of planning our wedding with my fiance, whom I have been secretly attempting to remove from the planning process as much as possible. I have ALREADY been given a list of his must-haves, and I AM incorporating as many of them as our budget allows. This has NOTHING to do with the emotional side of the event, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this is an idiot with no real planning experience or taste who thinks he knows more than me.
For the most part, this has worked very well. I'm the one who's been collating all the contact information for things, so I just replaced all the emails for the tacky companies with false addresses, responded to his inquiries as the companies to say the date was already booked or the price was outside our budget, and let him filter his way to the ones I DO like on his own. I also made a fuss about being "willing to compromise" on the few things he's picked I'm completely fine with in the hopes I can use it to make him compromise later, and have been humming portions of the songs I want on the playlist in the hopes he'll think he came up with the idea to include them himself.
None of this is the real problem. The PROBLEM is that he is deliberately ruining my seating chart, by moving our horrible friend's seat when I'm not looking.
The man in question dated both of us at one point in our VERY early 20s (both ended BADLY), is generally the messiest person we know, and will almost certainly get sloppy drunk and try to make a speech IF he does make an appearance. I'm banking on the fact that he won't, because he's also ridiculously wealthy, and will almost certainly send us some very lavish gift in lieu of coming.
He is SUPPOSED to be sitting beside my fiances aunt, at the same table as his grandmother, his work friend, and her girlfriend, because all four of these women are stone cold terrors who I believe are more than capable of keeping him in line on the slim chance he does come. My fiance INSISTS they won't be able to have any fun if they're running interference all night, and keeps moving him to sit at the head table instead. You know, where WE are. I finally caught him switching the label magnets on my planning board last night, and confronted him.
I tried leveraging how much I've been compromising already, that he's almost certainly going to RSVP no, and that I shouldn't have to deal with him on our big night. My fiance said he knew about all the fake emailing and such, and told me, and I QUOTE: "Look, the mind game shit was hot when it was just about the colour scheme or whatever, but I actually care about this. So you can suffer with everybody else, or you can do the normal thing and not invite a guy you hate to our wedding, you weirdo."
I said that if I did that, it would take out half his groomsmen, he called me an asshole and said I should go explain this to "literally any rational adult" so they could tell me I was in the wrong, and now here we are.
Would you recommend calling my fiance's bluff, since he doesn't want the man sitting near us either? Or should I focus on ensuring he'll turn down the invitation no matter what, so the matter of where he WON'T be sitting can be a moot point?
What are these acronyms?
Original post
The update
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foldingfittedsheets · 1 month
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This isn’t funny like most of my story posts but enough people have asked some for my opinions about lubricants and general tips that I figured I’d do a little master post about it.
I’m not a doctor! I just worked in a sex shop for several years and picked up a bunch of helpful nuggets, here they are.
All the links will be funny stories though, if you’re looking for a laugh.
Lubricants:
Silicone
Silicone Lube Pros: This stuff is the energizer bunny of lubricant. A very small amount goes a really long way and cannot be absorbed into the body. For anal, those experiencing vaginal dryness, or just really good penetrative sex between partners silicone is wonderful. Silicone is also extremely inert and by itself cannot cause yeast infections or allergic reactions*. Doesn’t taste or smell of anything.
*Some manufactures may add things to silicone to cut costs that could negatively impact genitals, read ingredients.
Silicone Lube Cons: Not safe with toys. Silicone lube can bond to silicone toys, this is basically always terrible. Because of its nature it can be very difficult to clean up, rags might be necessary as water will not help you much. This lubricant can feel very thin to some people who might prefer a more substantial feel. Also it can stain clothes or bedding in large quantities so having a dedicated sex blanket or towel can save sheets.
Favorite Brand: Pjur. Spendier but best overall feeling to me, nice and silky and a single bottle will last ages.
Water Based
Water Based Pros: This lube is the work horse and skeleton key of lube. If you never want to worry about what bottle you reach for, water based always has your back. It’s safe with toys, condoms, you name it. It comes in a variety of thicknesses and viscosity, there’s truly a water based lube for every preference.
Water Based Cons: Tragically, we are made of water. Human bodies love to absorb the water part of this equation, meaning it needs to be reapplied more frequently. For certain activities or bodies it’s nicer to have a lube that doesn’t need quite so much reapplication. Additionally you have to be careful of what ingredients* get added, many cost saving ones are a yeast infection in a bottle.
*Never use Astroglide, KY, or Vaseline, they bank on brand recognition and make the shittiest lube in feel, performance, and body safety. Glycerin or glycol is always a red flag ingredient for vaginal use.
Favorite Brand: Earthly bodies WaterSlide. There are So Many water based options that it’s hard to pick. This was my go to because it has a pretty okay feel but its ingredients list is short and to the point with nothing offensive like glycol to watch out for. It rehydrates very nicely if you lick it, it doesn’t throw off vaginal pH, and it’s inexpensive and easy to get. Even Walmart has it.
Hybrid
Hybrid Lube Pros: As the name suggests this is like silicone and water based had a baby. This lubricant has more body than a traditional silicone while being much more long lasting than a water based on its own. It cleans up easier than silicone and is still a good option for any type of sex except toys.
Hybrid Lube Cons: Still not safe to use with toys. That’s basically it. It’s pretty great.
Favorite Brand: Sliquid. I love their hybrid, it feels very nice with more substance than a silicone on its own and they’re a very nice brand overall in every category.
Oil Based
Oil Based Pros: Oil based is almost always on hand in either olive or coconut oil, it’s second only to silicone in butt stuff territory and some people prefer oil. Like the Roman Empire, which, I can’t blame them. Tastes and smells pretty nice.
Oil based Cons: Cannot be used with condoms. Kind of a big deal! Using condoms with anal is still a good idea but oil based lost favor when it turned out it destroys the most common modern prophylactic. Additionally oil can mess with vaginal pH. Anecdotally I’ve had people tell me it was infection after infection and others who only ever used oil. Similar to silicone, tough to clean up.
Favorite Brand: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never had personal experience with them and I don’t know which way to steer you, sorry. Messing with condoms mean that this lube has struggled commercially.
More Below, just don’t want this getting too long. (Also in case I need to add to this it’ll keep current version circulating if this blows up.)
Notable mentions for lube:
Spermicidal lube: Truly terrible for you. It causes micro tears and irritation which open you up to more disease and infections, besides which it tastes repulsive and is not a very effective preventative. Just don’t.
Flavored lube: I really don’t recommend this? Good lube doesn’t taste like anything, I don’t see that this needs to exist. Vaginas do not like anything sugary in them, which all flavored lubes are by nature. For health reasons it’s extremely Inadvisable to eat out butts without protection. If you must use flavored lube on a vagina haver try to focus it on the clit and not internally.
Condoms:
Condoms come pre-lubricated but did you know: Most condom tearing is the result of insufficient lube inside the condom? For safer sex put a few extra drops of lube inside the condom to increase sensation and decrease risk of tearing
Don’t store them in your wallet. Your body heat will break down the condom much quicker than storing in a drawer. If you’re going to carry one grab it fresh for a date.
Condoms stretch but they need to be tight at the base. Tight however doesn’t meet cutting off circulation. That’s a cock ring. If you need to wear condoms I recommend trying a few singles to see what brand feels the best for your body.
There are lambskin condoms but I don’t recommend them at all. They cannot be tested for tears, they still transmit STIs and they feel like wax paper. Polyisoprene is better in virtually every way for those with allergies.
Most people suffer from low grade latex allergies making a lot of condoms unpleasant. Latex was the first material able to be tested for structural integrity (they run a small electrical charge through it to test for breakages, neat right?). However! A new material hit the market called polyisoprene. It passes all the same safety regulations as latex while being hypoallergenic and contains much lower odor which brings me to…
Favorite Brand: Skyns. These condoms are truly excellent, smell and taste of nothing, and are just as safe as latex! The best. Really.
Anal:
Do not just stick a dick in a butt. Anal is about patience and many people have an awful first time. I cannot count the number of men who came in to ask, “How do I convince my girlfriend to do anal?” No. Start small, little plugs or fingers, and work your way up. Make sure things are relaxed and very very very like so very lubricated.
Do not. Ever. Numb your ass. Many products try to sell you on numbing your butt for anal. This is how emergency room trips happen. You need to listen to your butt, numbing it is how tearing happens.
Don’t rip out anal beads. I feel like it should be clear why ripping anything out of your body like you’re trying to start a chainsaw is a mistake but it bears repeating.
Butts. Will. Consume. Do not ever insert anything into your ass that doesn’t have a flared base. A flared base should have a perpendicular width of two inches to be safe. Don’t end up an ER horror story.
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