#or so i think at least

[dapandapod]

I was asking my fantastic friend @sleepingreader what I should do this friday eve, and was told "I would love to see jaskier but he's a horrible swan". So here it is. I share it because frankly, I find myself hilarious. I'm not sorry. And thank you Ella-la, this made me laugh.

"…. What is going on?" Geralt asks, watching the mayhem happening on the village square.

Hissing and shrieking and mocking laughter made the soundtrack to a big, angry swan chasing a man around what seems to be his own stall of jewery.

"You know how Jaskier is a magpie?" Ciri says with an amused smile, leaning against the doorway to the inn with her hood up, braid carefully tucked out of sight. "Turns out the ring he tried out was cursed, and he is letting the owner know his thoughts about it."

Geralt moves to stand behind her, letting Ciri lean back against him as they watch the scene unfold.

The Jaskier-Swan is hissing in ways he usually credits things with contracts at them, nipping after the fat man, only to get a beak full of cheak silk trousers.

His pale ass is bared to the village square and more people are stopping to watch the spectacle, some not even bothering to hide their mirth behind their hands.

"He had it coming," someone says a bit further away.

"When would be a good time to intervene?" Geralt asks Ciri, enjoying the sound of her giggles and the shrieks of the vendor.

However, he isn't enjoying watching more and more of that pale ass, as his trousers slip lower and lower while trying to get away from the big, feathered beasts.

Ciri pretends to consider it, the panicking crook stumbling over his own feet, trouser slipping dangerously low, and Geralt makes the decision.

"Menace," he tells her, ruffling the top of her head over the hood.

"Hey!" She complains, but lets Geralt step past her and into the square.

The moment the swan notices him, he comes charging, hissing and honking with his wings spread, ranting in a bird way that is very much Jaskier's way of telling Geralt exactly what he needs to do to that man. Throwing a hissyfit has never been more fitting, Geralt thinks to himself with a smirk.

The vendor takes his chance and tries to slink off, but Jaskier whirls on him and with his neck low charges at him again.

Geralt wonders what Jaskier will think when he admits he has no idea to turn him back…

[tododeku-or-bust]

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[millidew]

his change in career has captivated me

bonus:

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Can’t spell “Five nights at Freddy’s” without GAY

(Based off @/flashcs5 post)

[cimicherrychanga]

Because i feel like i might be overestimating what the average is, i shall Conduct Research

This isn't about how many languages you speak, but how many youre able to count up to at least 10 in, since basic numbers are some of the first words you learn in a foreign language and sometimes you catch them without having studied the language at all

[franeridart]

more dragon

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[ciderjacks]

dad issues

+

(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)

[joshuamj]

Okay, but what if EoW!Zelda had to impersonate Link

[missmisnomer]

it's always a good day to wake up and choose violence

More Rise silliness [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ]

[xxplastic-cubexx]

brain please wake up and draw

bonus :

[hinamie]

mentor

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[salamispots]

more wips