#or something she (alice?) had said to him maybe... but i dont know

[armandsfavoriteblender]

I think everyone else in the comments is wrong and that you have a point AND I TAKE IT FURTHER

Daniel could never accept that Armand wouldnt answer his questions about his past, he grew bitter after over a decade together and rejection after rejection and so when Armand wouldnt tell him why turning him would be so horrible? Daniel found the Talamasca. Alice is an agent and that's why he's never able to find her again. It's why we're given so much room for disbelief on whether she's real or not, *and* why if she is real he associates her so closely with Armand.

I think that he told Armand she was a girlfriend to throw him off and tried to make him jealous with how serious it seemed while at the same time using both Armand and Alice to dig. Any information young 30-something year old Daniel could run by Armand unsuspectingly would be confirmation or denial and it would only take a couple of tests for Daniel to trust her/his talamasca tie more than he trusted Armand. Especially if during the chase era Daniel doesn't have his Divasadero st memories.

I think during a fight, a big one, maybe the last one where he nearly overdoses Daniel drops that big bomb, throwing Marius and Armands turning and how desperate *Amadeo* was for it in his face and I think he's said he wishes he never met Armand before, but I think this time, just like the time in the books where Armand *knew* Daniel loved him, I think he knew Daniel meant it and so he took his memories and sent him back to Alice who had no choice but to go through the motions and pretend to date him for a while but who obviously never really cared for Daniel like that

or alternatively sends him to rehab and the Alice from the Talamasca he fake dated and Armand the love of his life blurred into an indistiguishable line.

And the fucked part is is I think Armand knows the "privilege of putting you back together" line was a lethal level of projection from someone who tortured Daniel just to comfort him in his "last moments" at divasadero, and everything about him trying to "make up for it", I think the way he phrases his own betrayal and Daniels does lend quite a bit to what Louis says after Daniel is turned about spite.

Dont get me wrong Armand obviously still loves his boy, they wanted to draw him back out after all, but do you know what it is to be loved by death? Death does not love by letting go. One final embrace and Daniel belongs to Armand forever whether Daniel is beside him or not.

I know we mostly blame Armand for ending things with Daniel and taking his memories but like, what if Daniel left him?

See: "He wants you in pieces for the privilege of putting them back together" and "it's in your nature Mr Molloy, couldn't get out the door without lobbing one more bomb"

If not bitter ex, then why bitter ex shaped?

[fascinationstreetmp3]

this line really fuels my horrible messy explosive 80s breakup theory i have to say

[miguelsslvt]

miguel o'hara x cheshire cat! spider! reader drabble

word count: 580

TW: angst, fluff, literally makes no sense

A/N: basically as i'm writing a goth girl! reader smut, i was listening to the playlist 'alice by heart' and i just thought of a cheshire cat! spider! reader comforting a lost in grief miguel? i dunno, it probs dont even make sense. but maybe when i'm free next i'll write a smut fic of miguel going to wonderland to capture an anomaly and she ran into cheshire cat who offers him some 'distractions'? ;) anyways posting goth girl! reader smut soon!!! welcome to the club!! ^^

y/n l/n. alias? cheshire spider. from earth-444, also known as 'wonderland'. you were a skilled spider, but very irritating to miguel. he had allowed you into spider society purely for your good agility and strength. agility of a cat, powers of a spider. and the fact that you could disappear and reappear whenever you please was useful too.

on a day you wanted to bug and annoy miguel, you walked in at a bad time. he was looking through past images and videos of his daughter.

'..who's that?' you asked, as miguel's eyes widened in shock and anger. 'get out.' he said bluntly. 'no. who is that?' you asked. 'get out cheshire!' miguel snapped. 'no miguel i want to know who that is.' 'didn't curiosity ever kill the cat?!' 'tell me.' you snapped back. 'i'm sick to death of you cheshire! you just dk nothing but bug everyone, i'm sick to death!!' miguel yelled angrily, as you looked completely unphased. in fact, you smiled.

'looks like i hit a soft spot.' you said, smirking. you disappeared suddenly, your smiling disappearing last until it first reappeared beside the current video of miguel and his daughter playing together. '..y'know i'm actually good with grief?' you said. miguel raised an angry eyebrow at that. 'what?' he said, confused slightly. 'what, you think none of us cared when alice left us?' you said, raising an eyebrow. '..that's nothing compared to my pain.' miguel spat coldly. 'senseless, heartless. you won't ever give this girl's soul up?' you asked, tilting your head, miguel gave up arguing. he sighed, frustrated. '..my daughter. gabriella. i..i killed her.' miguel said quietly.

you looked down, nodding as you listened. '..was it a multiversal collapse?' you asked, as miguel nodded, looking down. '..some things fall away. you just have to accept them.' you said. 'how am i supposed so accept something so devastating?' miguel asked, sounding offended. '..just cry and it's a crisis. if you let your grief sink in, you'll be able to move forward. losing a loved one is incredibly hard, the mock turtles told me all about that, but you're living in shock here. your heart is cold. how can you protect the multiverse if you're so cold and distant on yourself, let alone your team-mates?' you said, raising an eyebrow.

miguel was shocked. for once, what you said made, some sort of sense. no mockery, no jokes, no riddle. did you genuinely want to help him..?

'i may not know how you feel,, but i'm sure that i can try to help you out of this rut.' you smiled softly. '..why are you so.. different?' miguel asked wearily. 'you're so mischievous, so snarky and sneaky, why?' miguel asked. 'hm.. i suppose that's how i was raised. wonderland is very different to nueva york.' you stated, sitting on his desk table.

'you mustn't grow up, you mustn't disobey the queen, you mustn't be late for tea..' you rambled, before smiling again. 'you mustn't hide within your shell of grief.' that caught miguel off guard. he let out a small chuckle.

'you're right, wonderland is very different to nueva york.' he said, looking down. you two sat in silence for a few moments, but it was.. comforting. the silence spoke thousands of words. it was a.. good silence. miguel hadn't heard of a 'good silence' in a while.

'..maybe you could come visit wonderland?' you offered, smirking. 'no way, cheshire.' miguel replied, breaking a small smile.

[possibly-evil]

Addams family (and Beineke) hedcannons bc my rehearsals start on Tuesday!!

(THIS IS ABOUT THE MUSICAL, NOT THE MOVIES OR TV SHOWS)

Yk how autism is genetic? Yeah the whole Addams Family has it. (So does Lucas and their parents, but they don't know.) I think Gomez or Morticia would like offhandedly mention something about it and Mal or Alice would be like "DONT SAY THAT WORD IT'S OFFENSIVE" or something and they have to explain like, no, it's not, and they're all autistic and it's okay.

Adding onto this, Wednesday's special interest is torture methods/weapons, and Pugsley's is being tortured by said methods and weapons.

Gomez and Pugsley have adhd as well, and Wednesday has dyslexia.

I think they'd all be very into crossdressing. Mostly I just want to see Gomez in a dress and Morticia in a suit but maybe it's just me.

Lucas is transfem and uses they/she/he. They are wlw please I need this.

Grandma is a lesbian. Sorry I don't make the rules. I'm cast as her and she just is. Idk what to tell you. Also her gender is something you could never understand. Literal legend.

Wednesday and Pugsley tried to go to public school, but Pugsley kept biting people and Wednesday kept scaring the other students, so they had to be homeschooled.

Lucas had to drill their parents on what is and not acceptable to say to the Addams.

Morticia does Lucas's makeup at some point.

Lurch does drag. No I will not elaborate.

Grandma and Fester are besties they do drugs together

Morticia and Gomez are t4t. Look at them. Just look at them and tell me that they're not.

Everyone in the Addams family is queer.

Wednesday: panromantic demisexual.

Morticia+Gomez: Bisexual and trans.

Grandma: lesbian and genderqueer.

Fester: unlabeled (WHICH IS LITERALLY CANNON!!!! "YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING, WHAT COULD A FAT, BALD PERSON OF NO SPECIFIC SEXUALITY KNOW ABOUT LOVE?" HE SAYS IT IT'S CANNON HOLY SHIT) and transmasc nonbinary (since we have a girl playing him I don't think he's cis)

Pugsley: he hasn't figured it out yet

Lucas: transfem bisexual.

Mal: bisexual

Alice: bisexual

Lurch: Lurch

Pugsley is actually incredibly smart for his age which scares Mal

The whole family knows all the names and stories of all the ancestors and Lucas has to take a quiz on them.

Apparently I'll be doing the tango with Lurch during Tango De Amor so I think they're also total besties

Also I sing offstage during The Moon And Me so I like to think Grandma is just stalking Fester during that.

[lickmycoffeecup]

HAPPY TMAGP FINALE DAY EVERYONE

(Its Thursday where I am!)

Here’s my thoughts on TMAGP 30

Spoilers under cut

I wanted to sit on this instead of giving an immediate response cause… I was actually kind of underwhelmed by this episode? And I wanted to make sure that was how I really felt before saying anything.

THAT BEING SAID, I DIDN’T HATE THE EPISODE.

A lot happens!

But also… A lot didn’t happen?

They set a lot of stuff up, which is great! But I feel like it also didn’t give a whole lot, and now we’re just kind of left waiting. I trust Alex and Jonny, but it just really left me feeling like, “Wait? Thats it?” And now we have the hiatus!

Anyway, its a good episode! I’m looking forward to next season! Which is why I feel kind of bad that I’m not more enthusiastic!

Now for some thoughts on the episode itself.

SAM HAS A COLD.

I died when Alice’s phone rang. CAUSE NOT COLLIN TOO????

I feel so bad for Alice, cause she can’t be everything to everyone. And her running after Sam is understandable. But I know its gonna crush her if something DOES happen to Teddy or Collin (and this is a Magnus podcast, SO I MEAN????). She’s gonna have so much regret not hearing either of them out, and I hope that she doesn’t let that get to her too much.

Good for Lena! Get out of there, honey! She really said, “Fine. You want it? You can have it!” And dipped, and she’s honestly so iconic for that.

Also good for Gwen! She’s in her Finding Out Era 😌

She’ll be finding out REAL SOON.

I loved The Custodian! I was so excited, I actually paused the episode to see if maybe that was Joshua Gillespie 😂

ONLY FOR HIM TO GET ARCHIFISTED.

Imagine going 30 years, avoiding the horrors, just to get GOT by the ONE horror who wasn’t in your weird little shopping mall prison? RIP dude, you’re on the GOAT list.

“We want your teeth!” killed me 😂

But seriously, what the hell??? Is Hilltop the next Panopticon prison? What are all these shops?

The Great Mall of Horrors??????

I was honestly surprised that Celia finally came clean with Sam, and that for SOME reason she was gonna toss him in to balance everything? Like I saw it coming, but at the same time, lady, you still got me.

This part was a little ??????? for me, cause like. Celia knew automatically what they would find. But then she can’t remember how she got to this world? So like, did she not wake up next to the tear? And why exactly is it calling HER back? When we haven’t had any indication of other doubles experiencing the same thing. Did they kill their doubles and set things “right” before they started getting called back? Was Celia tossing Sam in her way of avoiding murder to balance everything? BUT ALSO HOW IS THAT NOT AS BAD CELIA?

I see where she’s coming from, wanting to stay with Jack. But also I’m not even fully sure of where she got the idea. Maybe it was from the cases? Maybe she was getting emails we haven’t heard?

And like… Was Sam just opportunistic? Would she have thrown ANYONE in there? Gerry? Helen? Basira? Alice or Gwen?

She hesitated in the end, I had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to do it. BUT WOULD SHE HAVE STOPPED IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE?

Some have also suggested maybe Jack is a demon baby. Maybe keeping her here. We’re not even sure Celia gave birth to Jack.

Either way, WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, CELIA!

I love that Alice bribed the taxi guy, and she respected his hustle.

NOW, I really wanted to look at the transcript for this next part, but as of writing this. I haven’t seen it posted yet. SO ONWARDS. I will quench my curiosity when its posted.

I DONT KNOW THAT [ERROR] AND SAM WENT THROUGH THE TEAR. It didn’t seem super obvious to me that thats what happened. Which is why I wanted to see the transcript.

If they didn’t, it begs the question what will happen to Sam, who is getting sick. Will [ERROR] just let them go? And why was [ERROR] even following them? They clearly didn’t go there for the Magnus Outreach Center. Is Sam’s trauma just really tasty?

If they DID go through the tear, I’ll be so curious to know what effect that will have on [ERROR]. If they wind up back in the TMAverse, since there’s no fears there now. Will we finally find out who [ERROR] is? Will they be a regular person again, with a non-semi sentient people biting tape recorder?

And last but not least… I hope Alice punches Celia, and then they get to work!

This was a wild season, I really am excited for the next season! Looking forward to reading what others have to say about this episode!

[bl00dlight]

The fanon concept of Helaegon overtaking canon has been something to see. The only time they talk he completely ignores her wishes and instructions for their son. She never displays any care or compassion for him, and after the funeral, he never mentions Jaehaerys again. I don’t understand how everything she does have to be about him? We see her watching them bring Aegon home, and she does not look like she cares at all. Maybe that will change next episode and maybe she goes visit him, but based off of this it doesn’t make sense to me. Where are they getting this from? If her confronting Aemond was supposed to be about Aegon, we would have seen her and Aegon lol.

EXACTLYYYYY. I mean I have no idea how people are so unbelievably insistent on Aegon being this centralised figure in Helaena's life, when the very plot itself was written to determine how isolated Helaena is within her marriage and family itself.

I don't even particularly find Aegon x Helaena as a dynamic very intriguing, given... the fact Aegon actively doesn't give a fuck about her? Even Viserys and Alicent had more love and care within their marriage and their dysfunction literally RESULTED in the forming of the war. Helaena and Aegon don't speak, have no visible chemistry either? So I don't get the pairing other than girls online who think Aegon is hot, and are self inserting as Helaena? Like I COULD see the vision if Aegon deep deep down had care/love for Helaena. But we know he doesn't? We know he literally feels nothing for her, its even stated by the actors. So???? Huh?

And again, I truly fear for people's media literacy if they think Helaena was asking Aemond about Aegon. As you said she literally could not give a fuck if Aegon lived or died. She's not visited his ass ONCE LMAO. But you know who she did visit and seemingly will continue to have scenes with? Aemond.... hmmmm I wonder why??? It's almost like Helaena has a connection with her younger brother who also has suffered abuse from Aegon and neglect etc. Wowwww. It's almost like... Aemond and Helaena are paralleled in the story. Both just want to make their mother happy. Both keep their heads down and get on with it their ENTIRE lives and let Aegon ABUSE THEM - for their mother.

When Helaena said 'I forgive you' to Alicent, when Helaena showed sympathy and kindness to her mother despite Alicent forcing her into another traumatic situation... what did they think was going on there? Is Helaena saying I forgive you for fucking Cole? Nah i dont think so... I dont think Helaena gives a fuck about Alicent and Criston Cole. I think she is saying she forgives her mother for everything that has happened and everything that will. Because she knows Alicent will suffer in the end, will be alone with all of her children dead, for what? And no one else is to blame but Alicent (in regards to the care of her own children, which we see Alicent struggle with last ep). Aegon doesn't give a fuck about Helaena - because Alicent neglected all of her children enough to the point where they all are in a state of constant servitude to win Alicents love/affection.

Helaena literally sacrificed her life for her mother and so did Aemond. But the outlier is Aegon, who was both so neglected and abused but also pressured to care about the throne that, he became the abuser.

He abused Aemond and Helaena, and I don't get how people don't see that dynamic in the Greens.

I also have to point out, how could it be possible everyone is shipping a character as GROSS as Aegon is with Helaena. Cause let's be real, Aegon is gross, he literally is complicit in the sexual abuse of his little brother. And there is no doubt about it, Aemond def was sexually abused, the difference is - it wasn't necessarily by the Madame. She is still a prostitute who is at the mercy of a Prince? What is she going to do? Turn down feeding herself or risk being punished? Aegon is the one who forced Aemond into it, it's Aegon's fault that the encounter made Aemond feel so much shame and humiliation and wounded Aemond to the point of which that Sylvie is the only woman he is capable of sexual vulnerability with so far. And then on top of it, Aegon is martially raping Helaena? Which YEA it is marital rape considering Hel prefers him ignoring her over being drunk and pursuing her sexually. Do they really think about how deeply fucked up that is lmao? Helaena literally proclaims her preference for total neglect by Aegon, because 'when he's drunk' is implying that suddenly Aegon DOES pay attention to her... and we know what Aegon likes to do to women when he's drunk.

TGC is just a hot dude and a fantastic actor who plays Aegon completely charismatically and with alot of complexity. And Phia is the same, she's beautiful and has transformed Helaena from a dull one note plot device in the books, to a fascinating, captivating character who is the only truly innocent character in her family.

We can all feel the actors intentions behind the screen. Which is why Helaemond is such a huge thing.. because the actors went in with the intention that Helaena and Aemond share an affinity regardless of if it's familial or romantic. We know both Ewan and Phia, could sense something a level of understanding, safety, care between those two siblings. Where as again Phia and Tom have said neither Aegon or Helaena cares much about the other. They can't even bond over the fact they have CHILDREN. Hel is basically just a baby maker.

And speaking of Jaehaerys, I mean what does Aegon say after he finds out his son is dead in the small council? He asks why wasn't anyone there to protect their King? What if AEGON had been killed? Not what if my daughter had been killed, or what if my sister/wife had been killed? He asks what if it was ME?

I feel like that says it all about Aegons character, he is narcissistic and ultimately can only think about his own wants/needs. That is legit Aemonds whole beef with him in season 1, it's not even that he was bullied - it's that Aegon isn't worthy of being King because he is selfish and has no sense of duty/dosent care.

We see when they are kids and Aegon is like "i don't want to marry Helaena cause she is fucking stupid and we have nothing in common." That Aegon can't see beyond the fact HE thinks she is weird and isn't attracted to her therefore = I don't give a fuck about her and I don't want to do my duty.

And Aemond literally responds by saying "bro she's literally our sister/future Queen have some respect and be grateful cause ur the one who gets to keep our bloodline pure and carry it on." And what does Aegon say? " Ew why don't u marry her?" And what does Aemond say, "Yea bitch I would. I love duty/incest. Sucks mum didnt let us."

Okay obvs that is not a word for word account. But we see it RIGHT there as early as these characters introductions - we see Aegon x Helaena's dynamic is one of complete neglect/lack of love. I don't know what exactly is so attractive about that dynamic to so many? But I assume it's because Tom is hot.

Another Helaegon rant done.

[grossdyke]

do youuuuu…… can youuuuu…………. speak about rhaenicent…..??? pretty please <3333

oh god. you have no idea what you’ve asked for. they make me absolutely sick in the head. sick to my stomach. like im close to hyperventilating whenever a new episode drops…

like obviously im a rhaenicent girlie down to the bone but honestly ?? i genuinely see them as the unrequited trope. alicent being my repressed lesbian princess angel who’s in love with her childhood best friend who’s just so painfully heterosexual. yes, sadly rhaenyra gives me heterosexual vibes…:/ (however lets talk about the tension between rhaenyra and mysaria in the last episode.. i was going insane jumping up and down. so now i have to reevalute if rhaenyra is actually heterosexual to me or if she’s just not. in love. with alicent. violently throwing up at the thought like imagine you’re in unrequited in love with your childhood best friend but shes straight so whatever what can you do <- what she does is slut shame out of pure jealousy<3. but then shes NOT straight and she STILL doesn’t want you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets all kill ourselves.)

something i also think about a lot is the scene in season one where alicient grabs the knife and attacks rhaenyra and yells ”WHERE IS DUTY, WHERE IS SACRIFICE? IT���S TRAMPLED UNDER YOUR PRETTY FOOT AGAIN,” <- pretty being keyword. alicent didn’t have to call her pretty but it slips out and they haven’t touched physically in years and there’s so much yearning and desire and resentment and hatred between them and alicent still calls her pretty. and maybe it’s supposed to be in a condescending way, it’s up to anyone to make their own reading of that, but to me it didn’t sound or land as an insult at all. it sounded impulsive and desperate and as if it just slipped out after alicent touched her again for the first time in years. just so much pent up internalized desire and resentment for her childhood companion :/ it also makes me think of the quote ’i confuse instinct for desire— isn’t bite also touch?’ by natalie diaz. makes me absolutely sick in the head

i genuinely, personally, can’t see alicent as anything other than a deeply repressed lesbian and like it doesn’t matter to me that she’s sleeping with crispy cole. to be honest it only helps my argument…. like rhaenyra lost her virginity to him and alicent is sleeping with him in the same sleeping quarters whete rhaenyra slept with him ??? thats genuinely SO interesting to me. i think both alicent and crispy are so deeply obsessed with rhaenyra and are projecting that onto each other. like rhaenyra will always be present whenever they’re together there’s just no way around that. i’d argue that they’re only attracted to each other because of rhaenyra. i had an argument about this a few weeks ago where someone said they dont think alicent is in love with rhaenyra / thinks shes in love with cole / thinks she loved viserys. like. alicent has genuinely only ever loved one single person (except her children but that’s different) and she only ever had one single meaningful relationship and that was with rhaenyra. like bruh be serious… how do you witness alicent having one single meaningful relationship throughout the series and go ’i actually think she loved viserys’. the homoerotic context is right there. but yeah heterosexual people couldnt pick up on queer subtext even if it hit them right in the face

however. i will say. i wouldve actually liked to see alicent sleeping with women/taking a woman as a lover this season and was sort of hoping for it :/ i would’ve liked it confirmed…. but yeah that’s wishful thinking and i doubt that’s going to happen :/ and besides. with how alicent actively denies herself pleasure i don’t think she ever would

anyway. i hate to say it. but i don’t think rhaenyra is in love with alicent. i know a lot of people think she is/read into it as if she is and like this is just me talking about how i personally see them. rhaenyra, to me, doesn’t read as having romantic feelings for alicent and it KILLS ME !!!!!!!!! because i WANT HER TO!!!!!!!! and it hurts SO MUCH !!!!!!!! and i WANT THEM TO KISS!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah. absolutely miserable. there’s just this, to me, disconnect between rhaenyra and her feelings for alicent. it doesn’t pain her in the same way it pains alicent. alicent genuinely can’t think clearly because of her attachment to rhaenyra, whereas rhaenyra can and always could. the codependancy was one-sided <- im going to Throw Up

that’s not to say rhaenyra didn’t love alicent, and maybe she still does. i absolutely think she holds love for alicent and deeply misses her…. i just don’t necessarily see it as romantic from her pov. :(

anyway. this is my phone bg:

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Okay, a few questions:

(I know you dont have the answers for most of these but I really enjoy your headcanons)

1 Amun is said to have some talent at finding gifted vampires (while they are human even) how do you think he does that?

2 Do you really think vampires have regular human hair? All vampires would be bald. I mean even just the windshear from running at stupid speeds would eventually make their hair so brittle it would just fall out, and they would just, pull it all out when they are newborn right? Also the nails are vamp grade so why not the hair (I headcanon that alice and rosalie had just spendt a few hours with wirecutters dipped in venom trying to give emmet a more modern haircut at some point, and then he imidietly went out and ‘played with fireworks’ and thats how he burned his hair off in cannon, the ‘wound’ was still fresh and the strands had venom exposed to the air)

3 Are you still doing the monthly writing challenges?

4 Where do you think the ‘soul particle’ is in a vampire? Like you could probably burn the limbs and maybe even the chest whitout killing them but the head needs to be attaced to something for the vampire to be concious? So is it the head? Like in the southern wars would they burn the heads in battle and worry about the bodies after or would they still have to worry about headless bodies rejoining the fight?

X anon

Oh wow, I'm flattered, glad you enjoy the blog.

Amun

Well, like you said, we don't know. We only know what he says in Breaking Dawn and what's mentioned in the guide. However, what we do know to me doesn't indicate a talent so much as Amun is very old and knows what to look for and is also actively looking.

We don't know how he found Demetri but we do know how he found Benjamin. Benjamin was noticeably talented with fire and Amun heard about him, witnessed this, then turned him. Amun in other words, despite being a hermit in the desert, does have his ear to the ground and actively searches out talent much the way that Aro does, by taking a chance on people who look exceptional.

Add to this that Amun has been around Egypt for a very long time and that population and trade in that area has always been extremely large relatively for world population. What I'm getting at is that without having to move around it's not unlikely people with gifts would be in the area with enough time.

It's also telling to me that in thousands of years, thousands past when the Volturi decided gift strike forces were a great idea and everyone had to participate in an arms race, Amun has only found two and he has Benjamin in a death grip.

He immediately went full hermit after Benjamin and is terrified Aro will show up and take him away from him. That speaks to me of how rare it is.

TL;DR Amun's been looking in a highly populated area that has a rich history stretching back thousands of years, he knows what to look for and is willing to take a chance and turn people himself, and he's only ever found two and is horrified he'll lose Benjamin.

Is the Hair Human?

No.

Previous thoughts on vampire hair have been had but I do think it grows (otherwise everyone would be bald), so perhaps grows slowly pace we take into account Bree's adventures and the newborn with a bald spot, and it has to be stronger than our hair or else again everyone would be bald. What it appears to do is only ever stay at the exact same length for reasons.

We also know that it generally looks 'better' than most human hair without the vampire putting in any effort. Victoria's hair per Bella looks great when she's running about the wilderness with no shampoo, conditioner, and probably know hair brushing either.

Bella's hair after a month of starvation is suddenly not only incredibly long but also unbelievably good looking. It should look awful after that experience and should be thinner.

This gets me a lot of flack in this fandom but I subscribe to the magical girl hair theory for vampires.

Are We Still Doing Challenges?

Er, yes, @therealvinelle and I just forgot because the post-holiday daze. We'll post shortly.

What the Fuck is Up with Zombie Vampires

Every time I talk about Biology I say something stupid. I could assume a brain is required for most congition, and that the limbs simply have some nervous response or remote signalling that gets them back to the head, but I honestly don't know.

I'm going to have to cop out.

[ariscats]

I have some theories I want to share: I'm not sure if you've talked about this before, but I've always been interested in Tobias and Alice's relationship because we heard/know so little. All we know is that she was the love of his life (stated in tbh). I think their relationship is definitely going to come up in the Prague story because, tbh scene where Tobias talks about Alice makes it seem like he knew or at least suspected her survival of whatever killed her (saving Alice's opinion/judgment of the boys when they're ready/done. It could either be interpreted as him knowing alice so well he knew what she would say or he was literally going to save her judgment for another time). Because it's Tobias, the comment about saving Alice's opinions for when the boys are ready/worthy, her cause of death never being explicitly stated (It just said the grief of losing toby had something to do with it in thl. WAS THAT ONE OF YHE CLUES JLB SAID SHE HID IN THL?!), and the fact that he knew toby was alive, I think Tobias had known about Alice or helped her disappear. Btw I lowkey think Nan knows because it's her daughter. This probably didn't happen, but It'd be so interesting if toby and Alice had crossed paths while he was on the run.

im 100000% sure that tobias talk wasnt just something jlb put, SPECIALLY BC SHE SHOWED US IT AGAIN AFTER THE REVEAL.

it would be kind of out of character to tobias to not know abt alice, so maybe he found out over the years and she threatened him w the same thing she threatened jameson? or maybe they had a deal he couldnt say no bc he loved her that much?

we can say a lot of things abt tobias, but i think the only good thibg we are sure abt him is that he loved alice. even her mom knew it, so i dont think he did anything to her.

maybe she was involved somehow in the fire and guilt (or not) made her go away. Imagine that tobias found out that toby was alive and that alice had something with the fire at the same time?

this are all theories and i must warn you that fot every tig book i made predictions, i failed, so dont take me as cannon

[common-grackle]

hello i am here to tell you about my best friend alice dyer magnusprotocol .

so she is working at thje oiar office of incident assessment and response which is like. magnus institute part two. or something. she has this ex boyfreind called samama khalid (i love him <3) and thjey are also besties and she got him the job at the oiar and in the 1st episode she shows him how to do things adn shes so silly abiut it shes likw . hold on let me screenshot thje fucking. the transed cript

dont look at my tabs .

anywya colin is the it guy and hes so babygirl literally,, this isnt abt him though its about alice

alice shows sam the gay people on the windows 95 ALSO SHE NAMED EVERYTHING WHICH. FUCK YEAH I DO YHIS like the system thjey use on the old ass computers. it doestn have a name but also his name is freddie . because fr3-d1 . and she also named thje voices that the compiters read out statements(??) in she named them norris chester and augustus (i am so normal about norris and chester . however if i told you WHY that woudl spoil tma for you + idk maybe youvw already had it spoiled adn seen things about them . or you dont care . either way its a story for another time anyway) alice often gets scolded by gwen bouchard who is . also working there and also shes hot. who said that uhh yes alice loves to annoy her and also gwen is so interesting to me but THATS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME !!!!! umm what else what else REMEMBER COLIN okay this is going to be a little bit about colin . he fucking . hes such a character. ok like he Knows somwthjing is wrong ?? like he can Tell . like the way the first tmagp episode ends is . interesting . to say the least . hes probably had a fucked up fear encounter . hes even scottish . and um thjeres a bit in the first episode when sam talks to him and its so silly becausw sam is like "hey colin how is the app going" and colin is like "THIS APP KILLED MY GRANDMA ))):< " or something . not that but like he got angyr You Get It and sam is like "oh my bad. i mso sorry alice told me to ask ." and colin is immediately like ". oh . (: ok then :D tell alice it was funny adn i laughed :smiling face with three hearts emoji: " LIKE . he hates everyone except alice <33 i lovw thjem so much ): AND WE SEE TJEM INTERAC T IN THE THIRD EPISODE . I LOVE THEM SO MUCH . AUGH . ummm augh the fucking conversation with sam and colin was so funny too sam is so awkward . poor boy anyway umm what else what else . YEAH UMMM AS A LOT OD PEOPLE HAVE OOINTED OUT. ALICE IS AWFULLY SIMILAR TO TIM STOKER MAGNUSARCHIVES FROM LIKE SEASON 1 . AND LIKE . god tim makes me feel shrimp emotions UMM LIKE IN SEASON ONE HES BEINGG LIKE REALLY FUNNY AND EVERYTHING . IN S2 HE LIKE. he starts getting a bit angry at everything because things have Really started to Go Wrong at the institute and also jon is being a little bitch . and at the end of s2/beginning of s3 he like . ok so theres anothjer archival assistant in like s1/s2(??) there her name is sasha and she and tim were best friends <333 some people ship them romantically some dont but either way. they were so so close and loved each other so much adn like they always come together like yk what i mean like you cant think of one of them without thinking of the other . thats how Two Of Them they were and i love them so much and augughghgh anyway ummmmm at the end of season 1 something . happens to sasha ! and its just ! not addressed until the end of s2 but like she starts acting different and everything and at the end of s2 we like learn that sasha fucking died bcause she was eaten by the not!them which is this thing thats with the fear entity known as the stranger . and um . basically it eats people and takes their place and almost no one can tell the difference like it alters everyone's memories and all the pictures and things of that person but like theres always like one or two people that can tell that it's a . whole other person . because they remember the way the real person used to be like the not!them appears in episode 3 across the street and eats this guy graham folger (love him) and amy patel (the statement giver) like remembers what og graham was like before the not!them got him yk . and in sasha's case it was this girl melanie that remembered her (i love melanie she is this youtuber she has a show called ghost hunt uk and she and jon hate each other and Cannot take each other seriously its so funny) anyway melanie was like "hgirllie that is not. sasha i?? are there two sashas" when jon assures her that sasha let her inside after she asked abt where sasha was . yk . and then jon does Researc h

i ran out of characters for this block wait

AND HE FUCKING FINDS WHAT SASHAS REAL VOICE SOUNDED LIKE BECAUSE THE NOT!THEM CANT FUCK WITH THE OLD ASS CASSETTE TAPE RECORDERS . YK and thjen he accidentally. Releases the not them into the wild lmao but um thats a whole other story the point is we learn that sasha was not. sasha . yk anyway back to tim . s3 is so bad for him and he gets like fucking . depressed . now like theres the one whole thing with sasha (thjeres this one bit where hes like "i dont even know who im sad for" UUGHGHGHGHGH) BUT ALSO we learn that the stranger also got his younger brother danny !!! traumatizing fucking experience also why is the stranhger targeting Him Specifically . one of the reasons i hate the stranger its fucking EVIL also tim hates jon now ! and he has reason to anyway um . tim is fucking . hes Sad and going through all the stages of grief aND HE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING FINISH . BECAUSE HE DIES . IN THE UNKNOWING . well trying to stop it . and UUUHUHHGHJGHJHGHJHGJHGJHJHJKJHBGHJKJHJKJHGJKJHJJHNJKJHBJKJHBMKJHBJNMKJHBJHB a bit more on this topic when jon goes to get jonah magnus' ass in s5 he like fucking sits him down adn just like fucking goes "that was for tim" "that was for sasha" AND I WAS HHDHSMDSHJDSM and then the fucking "i dont want to die" "neither did they" I AUAYUGYUHFGJHHGCFJNKNHFGVGBHJNFGH AND DONT GET ME FUCKING S T A R T E D ON THE BIRTHDAY TAPE. anyway. um. dear god how did i get from alice to this . anyway . um . YES alice reminds us so much of tim and she even has a younger brother.,,, but yes she reminds us so much of timWHICH MAKES ME SO FUCKING. WORRIED. IM GOINg TO RUN INTO MY WALL AT FULL SPEED i am so worried :thumbsup: anyway. um. uh. this was it i think i am hgoing to go play bideo games now goodbye and remember that bones are a lie peddled by big milk to keep you buying

HKDSBKJFBMNVSDJFKDBKFJH INSANE. HI

"one of the reasons i hate the stranger its fucking EVIL" is a rly good sentence

ugh i kinda want to listen to tma now. yuor fault. affectionate

ANYWAYYYY augh tragedy fans when the tragedy tragedies

UM. this was rly good and fun to read. i dont have like. words to say about the content. but YEAG BLORBOS IN LAW YOU GO 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[celestegambit]

i wish old man daniel was my grandpa or smth. i wish i could go hiking w him more & listen to his anecdotes & i wanna make him laugh. when i went hiking w him at corbett lake it was just the two of us in the car for the most part (about 4 hours total) & i was worried i’d be awkward or too boring for him but he loves to talk & i prefer to listen so he talked the entire ride & im so grateful for that. when we drove back to the city, i didn’t even want to leave the car i kinda just wanted to keep listening to his stories. we don’t know each other that well. in fact, we’ve only gone hiking 4 times together. but each time i’ve carpooled w him & have hiked right by his side. i think it’s funny that every time we go back to the city, i fall asleep while he drives. it makes me feel like a little kid 😭. also when he sprayed bug spray on me & brought me my sandals. that made me feel like a little kid. also i just appreciate that he didn’t accept the beer bc i was in the car w him & he was gonna drive. so he was being safe. when we were in the car he talked about his family. he told me about his abusive mother & his sister’s passing. & he asked me if i knew anyone w an addiction & i told him my father’s an alcoholic & we just shared a bit more about our family & i don’t know i think we got to know each other a bit better. he sometimes has his senior moments where he talks smack about tHe neW gEnERatiOn & how he quit his teaching jobs bc he hates kids. so sometimes i’m like damn does he hate me 😭??? but other times i think this could be good for us. i didn’t have a relationship with either of my grandfathers & old man daniel didn’t have kids or nieces/nephews. so i don’t know i think we could complement each other in that way. i learn a lot from him. i may not have much to contribute but maybe i can teach him something in the future. hopefully i see him again. i go back to my studies in two days. i’ll be busy every weekday w my studies & work. usually old man daniel goes hiking during the week bc there’s too much traffic (vehicles & humans) on weekends. so maybe i won’t see him until next semester or maybe even next summer. that kinda bums me out. in fact, i’m a little sad. i know i just met him two months ago. but maybe i just really want an older male figure in my life. i forgot to tell him not to die when i said bye to him. the neat thing is we have each other on social media now. he even shared his playlist w me 😭 i think he does this w everyone bc he LOVES to talk with everyone. i’m pretty sure he has some form of adhd & i even told him & he thinks he does too but more specifically Add. he took a fire pic of me like w my back turned & im facing the lake we hiked to. it was cool. typing this is making me tear up for some reason. I DONT EVEN KNOW THE MAN LIKE THAT. what if he does think i’m annoying. it’s very probable. there’s tears now. maybe i’m just mourning what could have been. i had even said to my friends that old man daniel & i were like the old man & the kid in the movie Up. now i’m sad. this’ll pass. i felt this way w my priest. as you’ll see there’s a pattern here. i get attached to adults who’s company i enjoy & who i learn from & who make me feel better. but you know what im just happy that i know this old man. it’s ok that im shedding tears. as long as it’s not in front of anyone bc then i’ll just seem crazy & delusional. only i understand why i’m sad. i do miss old man daniel & i don’t know how to deal w that.

some stuff he’s told me so i won’t forget: he had a sister, josefina. she passed away when she was 30 from lupus. he likes 60’s music the most but he also listens to grunge like alice in chains, nirvana, & pearl jam. he’s got a collection of rocks. he also takes a bunch of pictures of everything & everywhere he goes. he downloads the pictures onto his computer when he gets home. he’s always liked to hike & camp & backpack since he was a teenager.

i’ll add more about him.

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

okay im gonna put this here as well in tags lowkey just skip to the end bit bc i have diagnosed yapper and i do in fact yap-

i did a few points cuz some of them r from s1 and my memory is not good so it can like count as one LOL. They’re all older rhaenicent because we’re talking abt older alicent / s2 writing of her, so im assuming we’re talking abt older rhaenicent. I do think older rhaenicent is a much more flawed ship than younger rhaenicent

1. I can’t remember specifically what it was but it may have been something to do with delaying the war- when Rhaenyra was given a torn page from Otto (one Alicent had kept) and agreed to not do something (its been a while since I saw s1 bear with me lmaoo)

2. When Alicent asked rhaenyra if she could come back (this was like after the dinner with everyone yk the one) and rhaenyra said okay (well it was more than that but okay was the gist)

3. When she wanted to go talk with Alicent and Mysaria was like brother, it would be easier to kill her damn- (Alicent has also been like aye let’s not kill rhaenyra actually)

and i agree with you! there should have just been- aye ill make aegon my heir we good-(obviously its too late for that now I think after everything that has happened) now i dont think id describe alicent as ‘happily’ giving over her sons, but i was also upset with how they did things and why she couldn’t at least leave with both helaena and aegon and their kid. i mean yea there were many options she couldve thought about first or something, i mean we haven’t even had a scene with her and aegon in ages (maybe she was going to go back to kl and talk to him, obviously atp he’s left but she doesn’t know that, but idk where they were going w it)

and you’re correct that both the show (and fandom tbh) are quick to jump Alicent’s flaws and shame her for them, but when they do eventually notice Rhaenyra’s flaws (and she has many as well) it’s seen more as “empowering” or smt that she is a flawed woman and that’s good representation etc- and it is upsetting to see the change with how they treat both characters. I do love both alicent and nyra (i mean i wont lie and say its fully equal, i am much more biased towards alicent) cuz people will blame Alicent for her flaws and mock or shame her, whilst rhaenyra they’ll say it wasn’t her fault or she’ll be empowered because of it. Now from what I’ve seen in the HOTD fandom i can say Alicent faces much more vitriol (and honestly just plain misogyny and victim blaming) than rhaenyra- and it IS unfair and annoying and upsetting to see the difference. (not that I want rhaenyra to face misogyny or victim blaming- and she has before! but by the fandom not as much as alicent- i mean like both of them have their flaws and actions recognised without one being “good” and the other being “bad”)

I think a lot of scenes esp w s2 I’ve actually seen the fandom upset at rhaenyra, esp the sept scene people were upset at her and saying she was stupid/bad and it made her look bad etc. And hey Alicent has more redeeming qualities than just loving and protecting her kids 😔 but i agree it was a quality that in s2 the writing for her character just became odd and contradictory and yea,,, rough. (i mean hey if they ever make her fully hate her kids ill be upset for her behalf and angry at the writers but they could never make me hate you alicent hightower no matter how hard they butcher your writing/character 🫡)

I understand your anger and I have felt a lot of it myself with how they’ve written and done things. -

Now I don’t think you’ll change your opinion on rhaenicent or stop hating the ship (which is fine because it is your opinion and you have rights LOL) in the same way I won’t change my opinion on rhaenicent/ or stop loving them- and this conversation may continue to drag on forever 😭 i can recognise why you hate rhaenicent and i hope you can recognise that rhaenicent (more specifically young rhaenicent, but rhaenicent all the same- in the same way i connect and am attached more deeply to young alicent but alicent all the same.) is important to me on many levels. At the end of the day we both love alicent and are upset with s2 writing of her!

I need Rhaenicent shippers to stay away from the Alicent Hightower tag, you never liked her, you're salivating over the fact she abandoned her own CHILDREN, you're praising the writers for robbing her of agency and personality, you got what you wanted a useless prop who exists solely to make Rhaenyra look good.

You won, now stay away from Alicent Hightower fans we do not want to see your bs!

[muqingswife]

how i think modern!aemond looks like

note: english is not my first language, im from brasil i speak pt br português brasileiro and im using the translator sometimes, sorry for my mistakes

lets goooo 😋

first off all, his family would remain a monarchy, maybe like danish royalty (i read somewhere that the Danish royals have more political power than the British royals or something like that, and i honestly cant think the Targaryens giving up any power that they could have) and here we DONT have incest (at least not the ones that would be shocking in our current society)!!!! read my thoughts below:

viserys didnt die yet and still being the king

daemon is viserys cousin so she can marry daemon with "no problem" and shes the heir of the iron throne

the line of succession to the throne would be: rhaenyra, jacaerys, lucerys, joffrey, aegon and viserys (idk whos the eldest), aegon, helaena, aemond and finally daeron

he knows he wont be king unless some catastrophe happens and kills his whole family but still a little bit jealous

aemond takes advantage of being the 9th in the line of succession, since he has very "few" spotlight on him, so he can live a normal life like all of us mere mortals

uses his prince title when needs something (that includes the girls 🤭)

think im done about the political part of his family so lets move on to physical appearance and hc about him and his relationship with family

aemond doesnt have long hair like in hotd, his hair is more like tom or billy (personally billy is my favourite)

ewan smile is so pretty i cant 😭

def wear an eye patch bc dont have one eye, obviously he dont lost his eye on a fight about claiming a dragon, but maybe he fell on a shard of glass or lucerys pushed him into a sharp rock which caused the scar and pierce his eye (my poor boy 😓)

ATHLETIC BOY!!!!! im talking about both body and style, ewan practically only wears adidas and aemond being a mama's boy, coming from two rich families buys everything that is adidas clothing

and you guys see ewan in world on fire and his new photoshoot like bro his muscles are heavenly 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 (só uma chance ewan, pfv 😭

aemond smokes A LOT, i mean aegon get drunk every week (if he doesnt do it every day 🤷🏻) and helaena has her bugs collection, so why he cant do something he likes and help him to destress?

for a 100% sure hes alicents favorite boy and daerons favorite brother

daeron probably just thinks his brother is the best in the world, the bravest, the most beautiful and everything a child can think of their big brother (he also thinks the scar on aemonds eye is really cool and when he was a child, like 4 years, he took one of his eye patches and put it to look like aemond

and about alicent, just look at their hair in hotd, those are the most hydrated hair of the entire series!!! ok joke, aemond was a quiet child, never gave her much trouble and was the first child she could call "her own child"

aegon would be to the realm if something happened to rhaenyra before she sire heirs and we all know how his temper is ☠️

helaena in my hc is autistic, some autistic people dont like other people touching them and helaena would be one these

as a child, she would reject alicents hugs and affections, in addition to being very difficult to communicate with her

contrary to all that, aemond was a perfect child, he would be glued to alicent 24/7, wanting her hugs, kisses and affection, his mothers affection.

she was his confidant when he was suffering and crying, she helped him with the school activities that he had difficulty, she was the one who stayed by his side in the hospital when he lost his eye

and aemond returned all the love his mother gave to him taking care of her and being the best at everything he did, just to make her proud of him

its aemond whos sitting next to alicent when she cries worried about being attracted to women and wipe her tears, she feels guilty for doing something that is said to be "wrong" in her religion (alicent para meninas, rhaenyra is her girlfriend canon

now leaving the sad mood aside lets go to more aemond's hc + dating hc

vhagar is aemonds lizard and she has a HUGE terrarium in his room with everything and more a lizard needs.

he is studying politics, international relations, history or philosophy in college

probably his girlfriend (me and you obvious) would be on one of these classes too or something like that

the BEST boyfriend ever, he is super respectful and treats his girlfriend like the princess she will be in the future when they get married

romantic dates would be to fancy places that nobles frequent, like operas and ballet but aemond would also take you to a museum, library, dinner at a super expensive restaurant you like and of course, skiing in the swiss alps

if you like a sport or did one, he would be super supportive and take you to every competition you wanted to see/gonna compete in

aemond would spoil you no matter if you have money or not

have you seen a prada bag online? it will be in your hands the next morning

did you make a comment of a swarovski necklace you saw at the mall? he bought the necklace and one more set of jewelry

are you undecided whether to buy a Chanel or Dior perfume? no problem, the two perfumes will be on your table when you get home

aemond would be very insecure about his scar and eye, and really wouldnt think himself worthy of you

but you are here with him to tell him how important he is to you, how handsome he is and how much you love him, when he heard you say that, all his insecurities would go away

and he absolutely LOVES that you touch his hair, massage, wash his hair and make mini braids on it

anything you do he loves 💗

[imaginebabygurl]

Loveing Thy Enemy

This is going to be a Felix x reader imangine because I’ve been neglecting my man. ( I forgot this shit was in my drafts woops 😅)

I was part of the pack for a while now, I moved up here from Canada 3 months ago. Jaccob was kind enough to take me in after my pack was massacred by new newborns and the cullens moved back once agian to forks. It was quite unusal though new people new faces. I got along well with the rest of the cullens never had problems with them but it did bother me that whenever they  were around trouble would deffiantly followed.  Of course the Volturi were involved , to have honestv their rules made sense it wasnt or didn’t seem that horrible. Just live your life and nothing happenes but after the whole fiasco everything went back to normal. But it wasnt the volturi came to vist for bussiness unknow to them, as far as they kne wthey haven’t broke anyrules.

It was surpiisng the Kings themselves didn’t show up this time but made a formal request to see me and that was somthing I didn’t want, it made my wolf on the inside on egde something wasn’t right and do they even know abotu me Alice maybe well it doesnt matter, so many thoughts ran throught my mind Jaccob intruppted my inner monolauge, while we were transfomedx.

“ Y/n, you know your not obligated to meet thewm if this isn’t what you want you donm’t have to.” 

As the pack ran through the forest heading towards the Cullens it was full of growls and multiple cvonverstations flying off as million miles perminute but i blocked the rest of the pack ewith their playful banter out to talk to Jaccob.

“No Jake its, okay I just want to get thias done and over with. I really dont want to have any problems really it might be because they thought i was human and were going to sort out.”

“ Alright, if your sure, i can tell in his voices that thewre was unease but it was to late we were already arrived at the cullens.”

As I took my human form, I smelt the most amazing scent and i knew it was him my mate, he semlt absoultley wonderful like fresh Pine and oold spice the scent was intoxicateing and I wcouldn’t be more happy. I ran ahead of everyone and could hear Jake call my name.

“Y/n wait, you need to-”

I alreadly ran towards the cullen door and was ready to meet who he was, I could see the cullens but when I was going up to carlisle. I bumped into someone and fell back. He was tall and ominious,didn’t really appear friendly which made me nervous, but his senct was he really mine? this wasnt how i imagined him to be let aloine... a vampire and he wasn’t like the cullens he drank human blood he’s blood red eyes made him all the more friegthing with his terryinfg hieght, the way he loomed over me. I was conflicted with myself  my heart couldn’t be more happy but my heart also filled weith dread. We couldn’t be togther we shouldn’t. Yes trhewre was Jaccob and Reneseme but thats different, how could I possibly love the one thing that massacrewd my loved ones. A... vampire, well I guess its not really fair to jugde them but what i’ve heard they ruled with an iron fist and you can’t be both volf and vampire...would they force me to transform? will I have to die? I don’t want to, I had a whole life ahead of my and I won’t let anybody not h=even him, stop me. 

“So I did thew only thing I would think of was to run away as a sign of rejection.”

“Felix your scaring her.” the short blond said.

“Well sister what did you expect? She the enemy and to top it all off she finds that her mate is a towering blood sucker, what aperdicatment she in. i wonder how master Caisus would react he will surly blow a fujse.”

As all of this went on the man before me felix crouned down to seem less intimidating, his face softened and a smile appereaded on his face. I guess he did look rather sweet and the eyes didn’t really bother me but i just couldn’t bring my self to love him

[marauders-venting]

Pardon My French

pairing: wolfstar (sirius x remus)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

words: 3556

note: thank you to @ probably_wizardingworld_artist on instagram for helping me translate things into french. also i got some of the lines that sirius says from this website https://www.fluentu.com/blog/french/french-pick-up-lines/

a/n: if you dont speak french (like me) dont look up a translation! everything will be clear by the end of the fic and its more fun if you find out along with remus. i mean, i cant really stop you if you want to translate the sentences but thats just my advice :)

Remus was sitting in the library, a French to English dictionary open on his lap, sighing in frustration as he flipped through the pages. For the past couple of weeks, Sirius had taken to murmuring things in French under his breath and it drove Remus crazy that he didn’t know what they meant. He had asked Sirius on several occasions but Sirius always refused to tell him. But the fact that he didn’t understand the words wasn’t the only reason it drove him crazy when Sirius spoke French. It’s not Remus’ fault that Sirius sounds really hot when his lips curve around the words in “the language of love”.

Remus tries not to think about it but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult because every time they’re alone together Sirius seems to find something to say in French (if only to piss Remus off).

The last time Sirius had said something in French to him had been last weekend. It was the first sunny weekend since the winter and Marlene had suggested that they all go down to the lake for a swim.

Remus’ brain could barely form a single coherent thought from the moment Sirius took off his shirt; he was too busy trying not to stare. He remembered jumping into the lake and trying to get warm by swimming to the far side, away from all his friends. Sirius had followed him to make sure he was okay.

“I’m fine,” he had said, smiling slightly at Sirius. “Just cold.”

“Oh okay,” Sirius said, looking relieved. He had glanced back at their friends before whispering, “On devrait t’arrêter pour excès de beauté sur la voie publique” and submerging his head in the water and swimming back to James, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary and Alice. Remus had felt a shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the cold.

Then there was the time that Sirius had skipped Quidditch practice to visit Remus in the hospital wing after a particularly bad full moon. James, being the captain, had been able to delay the practice so that he and Peter could come to visit as well but they had to practice for the game the following day. James had to be at the practice because he was the captain and Peter had to be there because they didn’t have another Keeper to fill in. But James had given Sirius permission to stay with Remus (which showed just how terrible he felt that he couldn’t stay as well). They watched a bit of the practice from the hospital wing but Remus was getting frustrated, having to stay in a hospital bed for so long. So, after clearing it with Madam Pomfrey, Sirius helped Remus climb all the way to the Astronomy Tower. They sat up there watching the sunset when Sirius said, “Il y a tellement de soleil dans tes yeux que je bronze quand tu me regardes.”

“Ugh, do you make it your life goal to patronize me?” Remus had said.

“Of course, Moony, what else would I live for?”

“Are you ever going to stop doing that?” he asked.

“Probably not,” Sirius had replied, grinning at him. “It’s too much fun.”

“Why do you even bother?” Remus said. “You know I don’t understand a single word of what you’re saying. Why don’t you go talk to someone who speaks French?”

“Because then they’d know what I was saying,” Sirius replied simply. He had refused to answer any more of his questions.

Remus had needed to spend that night in the hospital wing again. All night, Sirius’ voice rang through his head but every time he tried to make something coherent of it, actually words or letters or even sounds, he couldn’t. He could never remember what Sirius had said long enough to actually look it up or ask anyone.

But lately, Remus had noticed that Sirius had been repeating the same sentence in French practically every day. He recognises the sound of the words in Sirius’ mouth.

So today, Remus waited until he was alone with Sirius, waited for Sirius to say what Remus knew he would. And when he did Remus repeated the words in his head a million times until he remembered them. And now Remus was in the library and looking up the words in a dictionary. 

He knew that he could’ve gone to Lily and asked her to translate it for him but he didn’t want to. He knows it’s stupid but he feels like this is something that Sirius is saying to him and only to him. Remus had never heard Sirius whisper in French to anyone else. And as much as Remus pretended to be annoyed by it, he actually liked that he had this with Sirius. He liked that they had something that was just their own. And even though it was probably nothing, he didn’t want to share it with Lily right now.

Chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi. That was the sentence. Remus looked up each word individually and came to the conclusion that he must have heard wrong or maybe the words were spelt differently to how they were pronounced. Because there was no way in hell that Sirius had said these words to him. It was impossible. Right? Remus didn’t know. And he knew that the only way he could be sure was by asking Lily. He had asked Sirius a million times to no avail. And he needs to know what Sirius has been saying to him, especially now that there’s a chance… No, Remus tells himself, you just translated wrong. Don’t get your hopes up. So Remus gives in. He’d rather ask Lily and find out what Sirius has been saying to him every day for the last month than keep this to himself without even understanding it.

“Hey Lily,” he started, getting her attention. Remus had waited until the two of them were alone, just in case he had translated right. Which he hadn’t. He knows he translated it wrong. But he’d still rather nobody knew about it. “What does ‘chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi’ mean?” He fumbled across the words a bit, hearing how terrible his pronunciation was. Lily looked at him, her eyebrows raised.

“Where on earth did you hear that sentence?” she asked.

“I read it somewhere,” Remus lied easily. “So what does it mean?”

“It means ‘every day, I fall more in love with you.’” Remus’ jaw dropped open. “Remus, who told you they’re in love with you?”

“What? Nobody! What makes you think someone said that to me?”

“You said that you read that sentence somewhere but if you had read it, you would have no idea how to pronounce it. Besides the look on your face when I told you what it means is more than enough. So who was it?”

“None of your business,” he said. “But y–you’re kidding, right? That’s not actually what it means. Right?”

“No, I’m not kidding, Rem. That’s what it means,” she replied, laughing at the look on his face. “Come on, tell me who it was.”

“No fucking way,” Remus said. “Besides, they’re probably joking. I mean… no, they’re definitely joking.” Lily shrugged.

“Just ask them,” she said. “And then you have to tell me who your secret admirer is.” She poked him in the side.

“Stooooop,” he said, jumping away from her and laughing against his will. “I’m going.” He got up and started walking away.

“Have fun with your mystery lover,” she called after him without looking back. Remus rolled his eyes but his mind was racing. So apparently he hadn’t been wrong. That was what Sirius had said to him. What does this even mean? He’s teasing you, said a voice in his head, like always. Sirius doesn’t love you. Not like that. But he said he does. Don’t be stupid. Sirius isn’t in love with you. He’s joking. Like always.

The next time Sirius said it, they were in the Room of Requirement. Sirius had ambushed Remus in the middle of his prefect rounds with Lily levitating a cardboard box in midair. Typical. He had practically given Remus a heart attack by interrupting his conversation with Lily, leaving Remus to wonder just how much of the conversation he had overheard.

“So have you talked to your mystery French lover yet?” Lily had teased. Remus groaned.

“No, I haven’t,” he said. “And I probably won’t.”

“Why not?” Lily demanded. “They’re being very romantic, Remus, you should at least appreciate their effort.”

“I’d appreciate it more if they’d just tell me what the fuck they want instead of sending me coded messages that they know I don’t understand,” Remus grumbled.

“Moonyyyyy,” Sirius said, coming up from behind him. Remus jumped, turning around, heart racing in his chest.

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” he asked. “You know it’s after hours, right?” Sirius snorted.

“Yes, Remus, I am fully aware of the fact that I’m breaking a school rule,” he said, smirking.

“Are you aware that technically Remus and I have to turn you in?” Lily said.

“Ah, but do you really plan on doing that, Evans?” Sirius asked.

“That depends,” she replied. “Why are you here?”

“Right,” Sirius remembered, then he turned to Remus. “James forgot to put this box with the rest of the stuff for tomorrow so I said I’d take it. And you’re coming with me.”

“Remind me why again?” Remus said.

“Moony, come on, don’t make me go alone. I’ll be lonely,” Sirius pouted.

“You are insufferable, did you know that?”

“And yet, you’ve tolerated me for 6 years now.”

“Yeah, the keyword there is ‘tolerated’,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “Lils…” he started, turning to her.

“Nope,” she said before he could even ask. “No way. You are not leaving me to do these rounds alone because then I’ll die of boredom. So unless you want me to tell McGonagall that your planning something for tomorrow, you’re going to finish this floor with me and then I’ll go back to the common room and you can do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Evans…” Sirius pouted.

“Nope, that’s non-negotiable, Black. Also, do I want to ask?” She gestured to the hovering box.

“The less you know, the better,” he said. “Although, I would avoid the classrooms near the dungeons tomorrow if I were you.” She nodded and Remus thought he saw her smile slightly for a second.

“You go on, I’ll catch up,” he said to Sirius, knowing that Lily’s mind would not be changed. He couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t have let her leave him to finish this chore alone either. She was right, it was painstakingly boring. Which is why he would much rather be with Sirius. But it was only fair that he finished tonight’s rounds with her; she did cover for him around the full moon, after all.

Sirius pouted but knew better than to argue and turned to go to the Room of Requirement. Remus watched him and he disappeared up a flight of stairs. Only then did he notice Lily was smirking at him.

“What?” he asked, sounding a bit defensive.

“So Sirius is your secret French admirer?” she said.

“W–What?” he spluttered. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, for one, the look on your face when he showed up right behind us while we were talking about your mystery lover,” Lily said. “It was the look people make when you’ve just been talking about someone and then they show up and you’re worried that they may have overheard you.”

“That… is a very specific look,” Remus said, avoiding the question she was asking.

“Then you smiled at him when you called him insufferable,” she said.

“So?”

“So it was one of those I’m-smiling-at-you-while-I’m-teasing-you-cause-I’m-secretly-in-love-with-you smiles.”

“Again, that's a very specific expression,” he said.

“Look, I know you like him, so will you just admit it already?”

“Why? What good would that information do you? It’s for me to worry about and for Sirius to never discover, ever.”

“Remus, you’re kidding, right?” she said. “Sirius literally told you that he loves you, in French no less.”

“Exactly, Lily. In French. If he actually meant it, why would he say it in a language that he knows I don’t understand? He just knew that I would look it up and he wanted to make some joke.”

“I really don’t think so, Remus,” Lily said, shaking her head. “I think he really loves you.”

“He doesn’t,” Remus said. “He can’t. Not like that.”

“Remus, do you love him?” she asked. Remus closed his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I love him.”

“So why are you doing this to yourself? Just ask him what he meant when he said it. You don’t even have to tell him anything, just ask him what he meant.”

“But… what if he says it was a joke?”

“First of all, I don’t think he will,” Lily said. “But if he does, that’s what you’re expecting, isn’t it? It won’t be a surprise or anything.”

“I know, I know, I just…” Remus sighed and looked away from her. “I don’t think I’m ready to hear him say it. To be properly rejected.”

“Oh, Rem,” she said. They had reached the end of the corridor and Lily stopped to hug him. “Obviously I’m not going to make you do anything. You know what I think. Go find Sirius now, he’ll be waiting for you. Do what you think is right.”

“Yeah,��� Remus said, hugging her back. “Yeah, okay.” So Lily went in the direction of the common room and Remus went to the Room of Requirement.

He found Sirius sitting with his back against the wall, the box beside him.

“You’re an idiot,” Remus told him, trying to put the conversation with Lily out of his mind. “You’re practically begging to get caught.” Sirius shrugged.

“I was waiting for you,” he said. “Come on, let’s go in.” They paced back and forth in front of the wall three times. We need a place to hide our things, Remus thought. A door appeared and Sirius opened it, leading the box in with his wand. They had been here before to hide loads of things. The room was pretty cluttered from years of students dumping their things in it but they knew where exactly to hide the box so that they’d be able to find it tomorrow when they needed it. Remus followed Sirius through aisles upon aisles of junk, looking at all the broken, discarded things people threw in here.

They found the corner where they’d left everything else and Sirius added the box to the rest of the pile.

“Are we done here?” Remus asked.

“Yep, we can leave now,” Sirius said. They had started walking back towards the door when Remus heard Sirius say it from behind him.

“Chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi.” Remus turns to him and stops him in his tracks.

“Pads, why do you keep saying that? Who are you talking to?”

“Remus, you are aware that you’re the only one here right? I’m talking to you.”

“Then why… why are you—?”

“I know, I know, you don’t understand French,” Sirius says. “That’s why it's fun. It’s amusing to know something that you don’t, for once.”

“Sirius… I know what that sentence means,” Remus says quietly. Sirius’ neck snaps up.

“What?”

“I know what that sentence means,” Remus repeats.

“No, you don’t,” Sirius says, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I do. I asked Lily after the last time you said it. She translated for me.”

“Fuck, I didn’t know Lily could speak French,” Sirius says, rubbing a hand over his face. “So… so this whole time you’ve known what I’m saying? So you know that I… you know that I… oh god, Remus I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to… I was just…” Sirius starts to back away, shaking his head and looking anywhere but at Remus. Remus reaches out and grabs his hand.

“Don’t go,” Remus says. “Sirius. Is it a joke? Are you making a joke? Actually, no, don’t tell me. Cause if it’s a joke I’d rather you bury me under all the crap in this room and spare me the pain.”

“What?”

“It’s not a joke, is it?” Remus asked, a pleading look in his eyes.

“No,” Sirius said, softly. “It’s not a joke. I’m sorry, Remus, I didn’t mean to—”

“Shh,” Remus said, pressing a finger to Sirius’ lips. “Sirius,” Remus tucked Sirius’ hair behind his ear. Remus was vaguely aware of Sirius stepping towards him, towards his touch. “I love you, too.” Sirius gapes at him

“Really?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Remus says. He’s still holding Sirius’ hand. He pulls Sirius closer and lets his other hand graze Sirius’ cheek.

“Puis-je t'embrasser?” Sirius whispers.

“Pads, I… I don’t know what that means.” Sirius lets out a small laugh and looks down at the floor. Then he looks back up at Remus, his grey eyes glistening in the last sliver of sunlight. He’s biting his lip.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” Remus says, without thinking. He feels the blush blooming on his cheeks but Sirius is already kissing him, rising on his tip-toes to make his lips reach Remus’. Remus feels electric currents dancing around his body, unable to contain the excitement. He’s kissing Sirius. Sirius is kissing him back. Sirius loves him. Sirius loves him in the same way that he loves Sirius. Sirius is snaking his hands around Remus’ waist pulling him closer. Sirius’ hair is soft, tangled between his fingers. Sirius is here, in his arms, and it’s everything Remus has been wanting and more.

“Wait, so now can you tell me everything you’ve been saying in French the whole time?” They’re sitting in the same large armchair, hands still linked together, legs tucked against their chests, knees and thighs and hips pressed together. Remus is very aware of every point where his skin is making contact with Sirius’. He’s counting them.

They found the armchair in the Room of Requirement; it’s unclear to them whether the chair is something that’s been dumped in the room by somebody else or if the room conjured it up because they were looking for it. 

Neither one of them wants to go back to the common room yet. Remus doesn’t want to see Lily’s smirk and to have to admit she was right at the moment. He’ll do that tomorrow. Right now, all he wants is to be with Sirius. To press little kisses to his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, his lips just because he can.

“Oh god,” Sirius says, burying his face in between Remus’ shoulder and the back of the armchair. “It’s like you want me to embarrass myself.”

“This surprises you?” Remus kisses the corner of his mouth. Then his jaw. Then his neck. Just because he can. “Please.”

“Ah fine,” Sirius gives in. “Um, what do you want to know?”

“What did you say that day at the lake?” Remus asks.

“Oh that. I said, ‘on devrait t’arrêter pour excès de beauté sur la voie publique’. It means uh… ugh, you’re going to laugh at me for this. It means ‘you should be arrested for excessive beauty in public’,” Sirius said, blushing. Remus rolled his eyes but he felt his cheeks heat too. He smiles a little.

“What about that day on the Astronomy Tower?” he continues.

“Ugh,” Sirius buries his face in his hands. “You’re trying to kill me. I said, ‘il y a tellement de soleil dans tes yeux que je bronze quand tu me regardes’. Which means, uh… ‘there’s so much sun in your eyes that I get a tan when you look at me.’”

“You’re quite the poet, aren’t you?” Remus smiles. “And what about tonight?”

“I thought you said you knew what that meant,” Sirius says. “Or were you bluffing the whole time?”

“No, I know what it means,” Remus says. “I just want to hear you say it. In English this time, please.”

“So demanding,” Sirius teases. “I’ve said it in French a million times already and you want me to say it in English? What difference does it make?”

“Well, none to you, you speak both languages.”

“Oh, alright,” Sirius says. It’s the first time Remus has seen his face really go red. He decides he likes it. “Every day I fall more in love with you.” Remus can’t hide his smile, nor does he want to, as he leans in to kiss Sirius. He brushes his lips against Sirius’ timidly before connecting them, his hand caressing Sirius’ cheek. Remus loses count of the points of contact between him and Sirius as their bodies melt together and Remus worries that he’s about to wake up from a dream. But when he feels Sirius’ hand gently tracing the scars on his hand he knows that this is real, that Sirius can really love him. Sirius does love him.

People come to the Room of Requirement to throw things away, to hide things that they don’t want anybody else to know about, to leave things they never want to see again. But that night, Remus didn’t just leave something in the Room of Requirement. He found something, too.

[st-helga]

Okay finished serial experiment Lain. For the first time, actually. I do not know how but I think on my first watch through I just. Skipped the last episode. I watched it like a year ago now I think so I honestly don't remember what was going through my head. Not knowing yhe true ending did however just make it hit me harder like a bowling ball to the stoumach. I always remembered it ending with alice and Lain comforting each other but not anymore.

Spoilers below

Okay this post will just be about the ending cause I have a lot of thoughts. Good?bad? I dunno just thoughts. In no particular order. Sorry if these ramblings dont make sense it is like 3am as I write these

I like the stuff they do with the reseting/redoing the timelines. I really did miss all of that on my first watch. I think Alice ending up married to her teacher is a little weird but I get it "ideal" timeline. I don't love it but i'll accept it.(for now. I will however complain about this later) Another thing I don't love but can accept is Lains story ultimately being one of sacrifice. I saw someone say something about it being a happy ending because Lain is able to connect with anyone anywhere. But like i felt like the ending of episode 12 was meant to show us that is very much not true and Lain needs real connection. I feel like again and again we see Lain being off to the side of a larger group and this feels like the most extreme manifestation of that. Being able to watch as her friends grow up while she doesn't. She can talk to them but seems unable to make a true connection. Her being a part of the collective human conciousness is of course differant from being a part of the wired but it still feels like the connections she can make are hollow. Which I guess is maybe why it's a sacrifice. But also the idea of lain doomed to be unable to make a true connection with others is just really fucking sad. I dont know what else to say. Maybe I would've had a differant reaction if I went in expectinf a bittersweet ending.

Also I wasn't gonna say this but thinking back and reading what other people have said I do feel like it's kinda implied alice and the teacher had a weird affair thing. It looks like their isn't like a singular answer but idk that was the vibe I got from there interactions. Certainely moresothen her just having a crush on him. I don't know how the writers wanted me to interpret Alice getting together with the teacher at the end but like even if he didn't basically groom her it's still weird and makes me second guess if this reality is really the "perfect" one. Or just perfect through the eyes of Lain.

Okay now we're gonna transition into my alternate analysis of the ending which may or may not be anything similar to what was intended. In these kinda situations all I can do is shrug and let my interpretation trump truth. Is this what the writers intended? Probably not but the way in which lain just dismisses her alt persona, Alice's relationship with the teacher, Her dad and alice both having bits where they seem to notice her absence before writing it off for one reason or another. This "timeline" just feels a little wrong. And I think the catalyst for a lot of this is Lains supression of her other self. What I believe in this context to be the manifestation of Lains selfish desires, which is only made null after suggesting rebooting reality so Alice can be an active participant once more, what Lain probably interprets as stealing everyones happiness for her own sake. In addition to being her selfish desires I think the other lain is a lot of parts of lain that she isn't particularly fond of. the impact the wired has had on Lain as a person, the maturity being forced upon her by those around her, and like on a more basic level the manifestation of her id (which I like due to how it matches with the final episode being named Ego).

The main thing going against this interpritation is other lain starting of their final conversation being pro pseudo-existance. However most of her reasons for being pro pseudo existance is still very selfish basic reasons. Fear of being looked down upon. Fear of being judged, fear of causing others to be hurt. She never sayss anything like "they're happier like this" cause she still doesn't care about that she cares about lain not being forced to be involve in the world (which feels like a callback to the repeat theme of apathy being preferred over the pain of participation). Only when it became obvious that lain wasn't happy like this did other Lain suggest rebooting the world. Which, of course caused her to be basically suppressed by Lain, pushing down the side of her that she sees as selfish for wanting to take away everyones happiness.

Assuming this theory is true it kinda changes my interpretation of the last few scenes. Lain starts off just off to the side watching being being noticed by Alice. even if she doesn't have any direct memories of Lain she still recognises her. Moreso then other characters who remember her, Alice seems to still be actively drawn to her wether she knoes why or not. On top of that the line "maybe we'll meet again someday" gives me hope even if it is false hope. note how lains response to Alice saying "maybe we'll meet again someday" is "we can SEE each other anytime". A line is being drawn between lain seeing/watching from the side and actually having an interaction with them even now. Implying she is still very much in the camp of self sacrifice for the "greater good".

When Alice and the teacher walk off their footsteps are drowned out by the hum of a motorcycle. Soon after it cuts ti the humming of the telephone wires which also feels like a very intentional parallel. this world much like the wired isn't perfect and is really just a method Lain uses to guard herself. Also Idk if this is intentional or an audio error but the motorcyle being cut out when Lain says that she and alice can see each other any time feels like on some level her pushing back against the sacrificial role she has been put into. But idk. Lain herself doesnt seem to be willing to reboot just yet but there seems to be a voice inside her still which is for it even if it isn't the "morally right" thing to do.

Lastly. I wanna give my interpretation of Lains message at the end right before the outro plays. Ill just say, I think this is other Lain. Mostly because of this message being given to us through a green tinted screen. (Green being a color usually associated with both other lain and the wired in general). is meant to tell us that no matter how much she supresses it Lain still has that part of her inside her. The selfish part of her which wants to live even if she doesn't feel like she deserves to.

"I'll always be right here. I'm right next to you. Forever"

Started rewatching Serial experiment Lain last night. Im about halfway through and plan to finish it tonight.

I watched it when I just finishes Watamote because people acted like they were similar even though they aren't outside of being about socially isolated preteen girls. So like I didn't really have the most realistic expectations going in, that combined with me watching the mixed quality english dub really hurt my enjoyment of it. Not that I didn't enjoy it just like not as much as I could've.

So far however on a rewatch i've been liking it a lot. I haven't finished it yet so I'm not gonna go into depth with it but it's really hitting differant. I love how everyone who isn't directly involed in the wire has the same sorta apathetic "leave me out of it" mindset. Apathy seems to be a central theme here, her mom just going 😐 after lain tells her about the email stuff, her friends treating the shooting at the night club they were present for like a scene from a movie, her dad even noticing Lain becoming addicted to the wire until Mika directly points it out to him. there is probably more examples but thats what hit me while watching.

I also love the little "present day hehe, present time Ahahahaha!!!" that plays at the start of every episode. I'll make another post about what I think the show is "about"/ what themes stood out to me after I finish it.