#or talked over or treated like an idiot or outright ignored

[skin-slave]

.

[mylovelies-docx]

I absolutely adore 'Sorry, I love You'! 💖💖💖 This isn't a request, but would you consider writing a chapter or something from Bucky's perspective from right after she left the first time? I just want to see people lay into his ass about how he's acting like a dumbass lol 😆 Thank you for sharing your writing with us all!!! 💖💖💖

I love the idea of y'all roasting the shit out of Bucky for being an idiot 🤣

I do have a future chapter that's written from Bucky’s POV and I think it mentions what he was up to while Reader was gone, but I don't think I wrote anything specific.

______________________________

My HC is that everyone was super pissy with Buck-o for quite a while.

Sam's constantly saying things like, "well, if Y/N were here," and, "why did she have to leave instead of you." "Shut up, Sam." "I'm just saying. I'd rather hang out with her than put up with your sulking."

Nat would constantly be glaring at him and giving him the silent treatment except during training. She'd be giving him shit while landing hard hits to very sensitive areas. "This is for Y/N," and just absolutely rockets her foot into Bucky's groin.

Steve tries to be supportive for his life-long friend, but sometimes he just gets so frustrated with Bucky. "Didn't you talk to your therapists about this? Why haven't you called Y/N to aplogize?" "I'll apologize when she's back, Steve. This isn't something to say over the phone." "... and if she doesn't come back? What would you do then?"

Wanda is younger and nicer than everyone else on the team, so she's not going to be outright rude or try to rock the boat. But Bucky notices that any food she prepares for the other Avengers have cute little smiley faces or fancy toothpicks holding it together but his are plain in comparison.

Tony just absolutely despises Bucky again at this point. Tony really saw you as his younger sister/surrogate daughter and it's all Bucky's fault that you're gone. FRIDAY is constantly locking Bucky out of his bedroom, blasting music at 3am right after he finally went to sleep, and the temperature is always super uncomfortable in his bedroom. Bucky has asked Tony if this was his doing, but Tony never responds.

Bruce, Thor, and T'Challa are away and don't know what's going on. They live on in ignorant bliss of Bucky's assholery.

Bucky finally has to set the record straight with everyone and tell them that he's been working on himself and he feels really really bad about how he treated you. He tells them that he's going to fix it and make everything right with you again. They believe him and lighten up a little. When they figure out that Natasha can't go on the undercover mission with Bucky, he's the first one to suggest bringing you back into the project. Everyone's a little hesitant about throwing you two together again after such a long time, but they're confident Bucky is going to come clean and talk to you.

... Unfortunately they don't realize just how stubborn you both are when it comes to your feelings. You've been burned before and don't want to be hurt again, and Bucky can't quite express himself the way he needs to in order to make you see him as you once did.

[pantachorei]

on feelings, ways of thought and nature.

ratio is peak mature tsundere, but nobody needs me to point that out to them.

the way he speaks, conducts himself and treats others is direct, haughty and unrelenting. he clearly has issues with ignorance rather than stupidity, with the willful laziness or refusal to broaden one's horizons. given that he grew up diligently studying from a young age, he is fully aware that academic success isn't bound to talent but rather to a willingness to learn.

broadly speaking, those that choose not to educate themselves further as they grow go against the grain that is his own perception. why wouldn't people want to know and understand more? why wouldn't they want more capable minds working on the great issues of the universe and their existence? advancements are held back not by their complexity but by the limited number of those with the knowledge to push forth, and that will never change unless people set aside their lethargic existence and start bettering themselves of their own volition.

while he's definitely annoyed with simpletons and those that show a very clear lack of drive for knowledge, he obviously has no issues labelling novices in their fields idiots, too, given they show a lack of competence. in many cases, this is more likely to try and motivate them by showing how far an actual expert considers them beneath himself. it also doesn't really always do the tricky, but it's more efficient to inspire people to work on themselves than to invest countless hours in figuring out the ideal way to hold their hand through educational progress. that way of influencing people would take away their agency, too, while leaving them to their own devices simultaneously teaches them how to reach new heights on their own, and how possible such a thing is once one puts their mind to it.

now, the nitty gritty of the way he acts. coddling others seems wholly wasteful to him. understand one's own self is a delicate and important matter that takes precedence over shielding people from the hardships of the world. he sees more merit in hardening others to sharp words and finds it too stifling to mince his words purely for the sake of going easy on the more fragile egos of the cosmos.

alas, this inevitably also made him relatively uncomfortable with gentler approaches towards people. he puts value in courtesy, to the point of chastising himself for being too rude, at times, but being outright nice seems almost outlandish to him. you won't find him sincerely throwing about fluff because it simply feels odd to say things like that. though, that's not to say that he won't voice his appreciation or show his fondness in his own, odd ways. it's simply not in a fashion that most people would consider conventional.

he may struggle to say he loves someone, he may struggle to admit he enjoys someone's company past that exact, factual statement, and generally prefers not to talk about his own feelings much, but that doesn't erase said feelings.

he can be very polite and kind, and he is a doctor through and through, as screwllum already pointed out, who practically lives to help others, but he is by nature a more distant, sharp person. there is nothing inherently wrong with it, nor is it made any easier by the fact that he is practically surrounded by the willfully ignorant or downright sinister.

all he truly wants to do is to heal the many maladies of people across the universe, no matter his complaints about idiocy, no matter his snobby attitude or snide remarks; every invention, every dissertation, consultation or advancement he assisted on serve to do nothing but to better the lives of many. his entire life, all of his academic career, servers no purpose but to improve the lives of others. while it's a kind way of living, it is also a lonely one, and it's also why he tends to be a tiny bit warmer towards the people who don't seem to be turning a blind eye to all the woes of the cosmos, and who even remotely seem willing to accept the trials of life, or even oppose them alongside him.

[judeswhore]

tell me why - mason mount

in which mason decides it’s time you finally talked about that night

part two of stuck with you, this feels very long and the ending kinda rushed but i finally posted something within the time frame i said so GO ME!

Mason tried to stop thinking about you. He really did but it was proving difficult when he could still feel the press of your lips on his and the phantom tug on his hair. Sure the shots of whiskey were probably muddling his brain but every single thought he had the entire night somehow managed to circle back to you.

He hated that for the second time since you'd first met you'd chosen to pretend nothing had happened between you. You always claimed you had no idea why he didn't like you but surely you must know how shitty it was to let him take care of you all night, to let him kiss you after you’d told him you thought you weren’t good enough, and then go straight back to your ex that same night.

You didn’t even bother speaking to him afterwards, you ignored the text he sent you the next morning asking if you could talk and didn’t turn up at Ben’s house for breakfast like you were supposed to do. You’d called Ben while they were eating and told him you’d spent the night at your ex’s and you were going to go straight home from there and the thought that you’d kissed him and then spent the night with another man sent a wave of nausea over Mason.

He’d felt so humiliated by the fact he’d told you he liked you, he knew the two of you had never actually spoken before but the stories Ben told him about you had him developing a silly school boy crush and it didn’t help that you were insanely pretty in person. That morning though he just felt like an idiot, you’d basically used him for a confidence boost and then ran straight back to the boy who’d originally made you feel like shit.

Hearing from Ben that morning that it was a constant thing between you and your ex, you were always breaking up and getting back together, Mason decided he wanted nothing to do with you anymore. He didn’t intend on being a prick, he was just going to avoid you for as long as possible but the more you acted like nothing happened the angrier he got and so the war of snarky comments and who could be the bigger arsehole had begun.

Mason knew he’d given you the wrong impression of himself. He knew you thought he was a cocky arsehole who enjoyed being rude but he did that so you wouldn’t realise how shit he’d felt after your obvious rejection. In his head he thought it would have been better if you’d told him outright that night you didn’t want him. But to kiss him, to basically lead him on and then turn your head and pretend you’d never even spoken to him that night? That hurt him more than he’d ever admit out loud.

He was Mason Mount, things like that didn’t happen to him.

He watched as you danced with Ben, smile bright when you laughed at something he'd said, your hand slipping around the back of his neck to pull him closer. You spoke directly into his ear, Mason could see the brush of your lips over his skin and his cheeks heated at the memory of those exact lips on his. He hated that you were always so nice to Ben but had this bitchy attitude towards everyone else. It made sense that Ben talked so highly of you, he'd never seen you be a prick to other people. Well, Mason also hadn't really seen you be a prick to other people either but if you treated him like shit it wasn't a far off cry that you did the same to everyone else.

Mason downed the drink in the bottom of his bottle, the burn making him grimace and he jumped a little when someone’s hand landed on his bare arm. He’d been so caught up in staring at you, his mind running a mile a minute over what it felt like to have you against him, that he hadn’t even noticed the girl trying to get his attention. She’d been sending him flirty eyes for the past minute, dancing a little closer every second in attempts to get him to look at her but she just raised her eyebrows when he finally turned to her and followed his gaze. Now both of them were watching you attempt to teach Ben how to Irish jig.

“Who is she?” The girls voice was low, tinted slightly with an accent and Mason had to admit she was incredibly pretty but when he looked at the dark of her eyes he just thought about how they weren’t the same sparkling colour that yours were.

“Sorry?”

“The girl you’re so painfully pining after.” Mason furrowed his brows at this, reaching over to the table to grab another bottle of beer as he tried not to look back at you.

“I’m not pining after anyone.” He grumbled, slightly embarrassed that he’d been caught so obviously staring at you. If random people had noticed you or Ben probably had too.

“Oh you really are. I’m the fourth girl who’s tried to get your attention in the past half an hour and you’ve not even glanced at any of us. I watched you panic when she disappeared and you only relaxed when she came back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy look at someone like that before.” The dark haired girl turned her own attention on you. You were putting your halo on to Ben’s head and giggling into his shoulder every time he dug his fingers into your waist. “Who is she?”

“It’s complicated.” Was his reply even though it really wasn’t. You hated each other. There was nothing else to it.

“You know she knows you’re watching her?”

“No she doesn’t.”

“She does, she looks over when you look away and she’s looking right now.” Mason’s head whipped around and this and he caught your eye before you turned away again, lifting back on your tip toes to say something to Ben. “And it looks like she’s leaving. Might wanna catch her before she’s gone, Lover Boy.” Mason pulled a face, unsure whether he did want to speak to you or not.

He wasn’t in the mood to fight with you, you’d made it pretty clear you didn’t actually want him and you’d given the impression you don’t even want to think about anything that had happened between you. But he can’t deny the fact that his ego was incredibly bruised and he’s curious why. He wants to know why you chose your ex boyfriend over him that night and why tonight you were all for being with him and then some invisible cord snapped and you acted like he repulsed you.

“Whatever complicated thing you have going on with her, talking is the only way to figure it out. Girls like it when guys are the ones to initiate fixing things,” The girl next to him shrugged her shoulders and reached for his bottle, pulling it away from him and raising it to her own lips. “Just a suggestion.”

She dropped her eye in a wink and then disappeared into the throng of bodies, Mason’s eyebrows drawing onto an even tighter frown.

He watched you place a kiss on Ben’s cheek after you hugged him and then you were weaving your way through everyone towards the front door to the flat, your fingers reaching into your purse. Mason tapped his fingers against the table behind him, mind reeling slightly as he fought with himself over whether or not to follow you. Did he really want to torture himself any longer wondering exactly why you didn’t want him?

“Fuck,” He pushed himself off the table, heart skipping a little as he made his way to the door, pulling it open and walking out into the cold hallway air. It was dimly lit and he noticed a couple leaning against the wall a few doors down in the opposite direction of where you were headed. You were making your way to the stairs, head tilted down to your phone and Mason noted with a little relief that you seemed steady enough on your feet that you were sober enough to talk to him.

“Y/N.” You stopped in front of the doors that led to the stairwell but you didn’t turn around.

“No you can’t catch a ride in my taxi, Mount, find your own.” You pushed the doors open as Mason rolled his eyes, following you quickly through them. “Stop following me, it’s weird.”

“Will you stop for a second?” Mason wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pulled you to a stop before you could start down the stairs. “I want to talk.” You turned to face him with a frown, yanking your wrist free from his grip.

“I swear to God, Mason, if you don’t stop touching me.”

“You didn’t seem to mind when you were pulling on my hair.” He watched the slow blush spread over your cheeks and felt a rush from it because it doesn’t matter how many times you said you hated each other he knew he had some sort of effect on you physically.

“That never happened.” You voice was a warning and you shook your head before trying to make your way down the stairs again but Mason was quick to pull you back again. He pressed his hands against your arms and pushed you back against the wall, his own frown forming again because why do you have to be so infuriating? “Get off me!”

“Just stop being difficult for five fucking seconds! This is why shit never worked with us because you refuse to speak to me.” Mason watched you tilt your head back, disbelief marring your features.

“Shit never works with us, Mason, because we avoid each other at all costs when we’re in the same place and when we do have to speak we spend the entire time fighting. Because you do ridiculous things like grab me, if you don’t get off me I will kick you in the balls.” You shrugged his hands away from your arms, huffing angrily and smoothing your dress down.

“I’ve never grabbed you before stop being stupid.”

“Don’t call me stupid. I want to go home so will you move?” Mason planted himself firmly in front of you, arms folded over his chest.

“No, I told you, I want to talk.”

“Really? Well, I don’t. I made it perfectly clear in the lift that you need to forget what we did. It was a mistake, okay? The stuffy air and your stupid aftershave got to my head. I hate you, just because we kissed once, in what could be considered a high pressure moment, doesn’t change that.” You stuffed your phone into your purse and impatiently pushed your hair back off your face. “You have been nothing but rude to me since the first time we met, one kiss doesn’t just erase that. You insult me constantly, you might as well have called me a whore with how many times you said I throw myself at people, I have nothing else to say to you. So move.”

Mason took a step back, that familiar wave of anger and embarrassment rolling over him at the fact you’d completely refused to mention that night. Was he seriously that bad of a kisser that you didn’t want to remember it? Were you that desperate for an ego boost that it didn’t even register that you were kissing an actual person?

“Why do you act like that night never happened?” His voice was low and it pulled your eyes back to his, your own arms settling over your chest.

“What?”

“Stop with the fucking pretending! You wonder why I hate you? Why I think you’re so full of yourself? Because you used me and then I didn’t even get so much as a “thanks for the ego boost, Mount”. You act like you’re so much better than me that me being nice to you that night meant absolutely nothing. That’s why I hate you, Y/N, because you treated me like shit first.”

Mason was breathing hard, his cheeks flushed and he brushed an angry hand through the choppy strands of his hair.

“I dont-“

“Stop, just stop. Tell me why. Tell me what it was I did so fucking wrong that made you want to use me like that? Fuck, Y/N, you could have just told me that night you weren’t interested and it would saved us all this stupid fighting.” You were shaking your head, eyes locked on his, brows furrowed so much they were almost touching.

Mason was tired. He was tired of fighting with you and he was tired of you acting like he was the one who started all this. If you hadn’t have blown off his texts this whole thing could have been avoided. Maybe he could have handled his humiliation better but Mason was soft and he hated knowing he’d been taken for granted and he didn’t want you doing it again.

“How much have you had to drink? Because I have no idea what you’re on about. What night?”

“Are you being serious?”

“Mason, I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Why are you making this so difficult?”

“I’m not! You’re talking absolute rubbish, we’ve never been anywhere together on a night out and I don’t know what you mean about me not being interested. Interested in what?” You untucked your arms, reaching up to pull your halo from your hair. The look of confusion on your face was pissing Mason off because why were you going to such extensive lengths to pretend that night away?

“Interested in me for fucks sake! You kissed me, Y/N, you kissed me and then you went back to your shitty ex who you’d been crying over all fucking night! You let me comfort you over how much of an arsehole he’d been, you told me how you wanted nothing more from him and then you still went back with him.” Mason took another step away, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers. His palms had gone slightly sweaty and he tried to calm the beating of his heart as he met your gaze.

You just stared at him, confused by his confession because you remembered none of it. You remembered Ben properly introducing you but nothing else of that night until you woke up the next day in Taylor’s bed with a raging hangover and guilt over the fact you’d gone back to him the night before rather than gone home with Ben. You certainly didn’t remember kissing Mason and judging by the kiss in the lift you most definitely should have.

“I kissed you?”

“Are you really gonna keep playing?” When you continued to frown at him Mason grumbled. “Fine, if you wanna play dumb I’ll spell it out for you. You spent the entire night complaining to me about your ex, about how awful he was and how you were glad you’d broken up because you were sick of how he treated you. We had a few drinks and I told you I liked you, I told you Ben talked none stop about you and it made me want to get to know you. You got a text from your ex and you started telling me that you weren’t good enough and that you had nothing going for you so no wonder Taylor didn’t want you. But I told you it was bullshit and any decent person would see how fucking amazing you were and then you kissed me. You sat on those fucking steps Y/N and you kissed me.” Mason let out a shuddering breath, head silting back a little as he shook it. You opened your mouth, his name on the tip of your tongue but he cut you off with a humourless laugh.

“You know what the worst part is? I actually thought maybe you’d like me too. Ben was always saying how he wanted to set us up and I thought finally I had my chance but then I found out the next morning that the taxi I put you in didn’t take you home, it took you straight to your exes house. I texted you that morning, to see if you were okay and to see if we could talk. I knew we were both drunk, I wanted to take you out properly but you read my fucking message and ignored me.” The air in the little stair well felt crackly with energy and you couldn’t keep your gaze off Mason.

He’d settled himself on the opposite wall, that glare you knew all too well set in place on his face and for the first time you felt bad about it being there. You didn’t remember kissing him, you didn’t remember even talking to him properly that night and you certainly didn’t remember getting any texts from him.

“You never texted me.”

“Don’t bullshit Y/N, I sent multiple asking if you were okay and you read every single one of them.”

“Mason, I didn’t get any texts from you.”

“Then what happened? They disappeared into thin air?” You blew out a breath at his mocking tone.

“I didn’t get any fucking texts from you! Taylor had my phone most of the morning because I was throwing up constantly.” Mason lifted his gaze from where he’d been staring at the floor.

“He had your phone?”

“Well, it was on his bedside table.” You brushed that off, taking a slow step towards Mason, your gaze set on his.

“Mason, I didn’t know we kissed.” You voice was soft, a tone he’d heard you use a thousand times with everyone but him. “I don’t really remember anything from that night.” He watched a sheepish look take over your face. “I, uh, I had a flask, and I kept adding more to my drinks.”

“You don’t remember any of it?”

“I remember getting to the club and meeting you and then I remember dancing with someone and them comforting me all night and then I remember waking up in Taylor’s house.” Mason clenched his jaw at that, still annoyed over the fact you’d gone there in the first place. “I didn’t know it was you who I’d spent the night with.”

“Yeah well, you did. You let me boost your ego all night and then went off with someone else.” He brushed his hands over his arms, suddenly chilly in the little stairwell and he didn’t really know what to do.

You didn’t remember being with him. It still hurt that you didn’t but you didn’t actively reject him, you weren’t pretending it didn’t happen all this time you just didn’t know it had happened. Mason swallowed the weird lump in his throat because he suddenly felt bad about the way he’d treated you, neither of you were innocent in the little war you had going on but he maybe had taken things a little too far.

“That’s why you hate me isn’t it? That’s why you made all those comments about me being full of myself and why you got so annoyed when I told you to forget about what happened in the lift.” You had taken another step forward and Mason hadn’t even realised he’d unconsciously done the same.

“From my point of view it was a pretty shit thing for you to do. You could have easily just said you didn’t like me, you didn’t have to kiss me.” The two of you were standing almost toe to toe and you had to tilt your head a little to keep eye contact. Mason ran his tongue over his bottom lip, throat bobbing when he swallowed.

“I really don’t remember any of it.”

“Doesn’t change anything though does it? I was still a prick to you, you still want to forget what happened in the lift.” You sucked in a breath, fingers twirling the little butterfly ring around your finger.

“Do you really hate me?” You didn’t meet his gaze, you kept your eyes glued to your hands but you heard Mason’s sigh and felt him move closer.

“I’m a guy. We don’t handle rejection very well and I thought you’d blew me off for your shitty ex and I was embarrassed. You pissed me off the more you kept acting like it never happened, like you didn’t cry on my shoulder while I told you you could do so much better.” You lifted your head, stomach flipping at how close he was and watched the way his eyes searched your face. “I didn’t want you to think I was upset about what had happened so I thought if I was a dick to you you wouldn’t realise how humiliated I was. I didn’t hate you. I don’t hate you, not really.”

His eyes had softened drastically and it was the first time you’d ever seen him look at you like that, that frown gone from his brows. The brush of your fingers against the back of his hand was so gentle that Mason thought he’d imagined it.

“If I’d known what had happened, if I’d known about the kiss and the texts I never would have asked to pretend it never happened. I was hurt when you turned on me because I never understood what I’d done wrong, you were always so nice to everyone but me. I didn’t want to let you keep treating me like shit so it was easier to hate you too.” You could feel the heat from his chest even through the material of your dress and your heart felt like it was hammering out of your chest.

Mason didn’t hate you.

“Pretty stupid of us to just not talk it out.” Mason mumbled, his own fingers hesitantly grazing your arm, slowly dragging along your skin until you shuddered and pressed yourself completely against him.

“Can we talk it out later?” You asked and Mason’s hand stilled at your shoulder, brows drawing together again.

“Later?”

“I really want you to kiss me now. Properly, so I can remember.” Mason’s lips lifted into a smile and then his fingers threaded through the hair at the back of your neck, his mouth finding yours as he tilted your head back.

The kiss was nothing like the one in the lift, it was soft and slow, Mason’s tongue gliding over yours and you couldn’t believe you could ever forget what it felt like to kiss him. You wrapped your own arms around his waist, fingers grazing along his back so you could pull him closer.

“Can we forget about the other two kisses and just pretend this is our first one?” You were breathless when Mason pushed you back against the wall, his nose bumping yours as you both fought to catch your breath.

“I’d really appreciate if you stopped trying to forget kissing me.” He ended his sentence with the softest of kisses against your slightly swollen bottom lip. “But I think I’d also like to pretend this was our first.”

[shorkbrian]

Omg hi so I read your babysitter fic and I was thinking what if bakuogus tired of reader being a brat with him so he brings Kiri over to help him out 🤤 srry im just being horny on anon rn

“C’mon princess, move your ass before I move it for you.”

You huffed at the blonde, opening the car door, stepping outside and slamming it shut. Bakugou shot you a harsh glare, but you weren’t looking at him, instead crouching to tie your shoe.

He gave you a moment to do that, before the man got impatient, clicking his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Let’s go, it’s not like I have all fucking day.”

You knew for a fact that yes, he did have all day.

Your mom was away again, another business trip. She was working towards a promotion - a position that meant more hours, more work, more travel.

More time being spent with your stupid babysitter.

With your rapist.

He hadn’t touched you, not outright, since that day. Every time your mom suggested having him over for dinner, you conveniently found somewhere to be; out with friends, on a date, having a sleepover. Anything so that you didn’t have to look at Bakugou Katsuki’s stupid, smug little face.

But your mom had surprised you yesterday night, letting you know she’d be leaving in the morning, that Katsuki would be staying over again. There wasn’t any time for you to argue with her, to plead for her to stay, or to take you with her, or for you to stay at a friend’s house, anything but Katsuki.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to avoid him!” She had laughed, before wagging a finger at you. “Don’t be rude. He’s a nice man, and I trust him to keep you safe. He did last time!”

Yeah, and he also assaulted you last time, so maybe he wasn’t as nice of a guy as she thought.

He was taking you to the mall, not even really giving you a choice, just telling you to get dressed, that the two of you were going out.

Now here you were, trudging silently behind the older man, glaring at the ground.

“Bakubro! Over here!”

A loud shout drew your attention, Bakugou grinning as he started veering towards the shouter, a red-haired man waving enthusiastically. You followed behind him obediently, taking stock of this new man.

He was fucking huge, thick thighs bulging against his jeans, biceps straining against the fabric of his navy hoodie. This new guy was handsome too, a wide, sharp smile, soft red eyes, a clean-shaven face.

“’Sup Idiot? You tryin’ to attract the whole mall? Always so damn loud.” Even though he was complaining, it was clear that these two were friends as Bakugou let the other man pull him into a hug. They pounded each other on the back, before the redhead drew back, pushing past the blonde to give you his full attention. 

“Who’s this? Did you get a girlfriend? She looks a little young bro.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.” You spat, and the redhead held up his hands in surrender as Bakugou shouldered him to the side.

“It’s the little fucker that I’m looking after as a favor. You know I work security for that office complex?” The redhead nodded. “Yeah, one of the milfs gave me free range of her house as long as I watch her.”

Both men looked at you, and the redhead smiled brightly.

“Ah, well, I’m Kirishima! Nice to meet you, sorry you have to put up with such a grumpy fucke-”

“Hey, shaddup.” Bakugou elbowed him, but Kirishima was already extending a hand for you to shake, and you did so gladly. At least you weren’t the only one who thought Bakugou was a grumpy, stuck up mess.

“’Kay, now can we go? I’m starving’, wanna eat before we do anything else.”

Kirishima winked at you as he threw an arm around your shoulders, his other arm around Bakugou. “Food court? I think they have a pretty good selection here...”

-----

Kirishima was much more tolerable than Bakugou.

He was funny, cracking jokes and making you almost spit out the soda he had bought you, slipping you five dollars behind Bakugou’s back for you to get a drink.

The redhead sat next to you while the three of you ate, including you in the conversation whenever Bakugou seemed to forget about your existence.

As the three of you walked from store-to-store, Kirishima listened to you ramble on about the latest game you’d bought, what you thought of your favorite snack brand trying to collaborate with a fashion company, all your opinions on the music playing faintly through the mall speakers.

It was fun when he grabbed your hand, tugging you away from Bakugou and along with the redhead as he ducked into a random store. It was some street-wear fashion place, and Kirishima wanted your thoughts on if a shirt was his color, or if he could pull off one of the hats that adorned the mannequin in the store window.

The two of you were busy laughing at how the hat couldn’t even press past his spiky hairstyle when you noticed Bakugou, glowering at you both from the outside of the store, lips pulled into the deepest frown.

Kirishima started laughing at the man’s expression, and you quickly followed suit, before Bakugou stalked inside, cuffing his friend on the ear.

What a spoil sport.

You couldn’t deny that by the end of the few hours you’d spent with Kirishima, you found yourself attracted to him. Not only in looks, but also in his goofy personality. You wouldn’t mind being friends with him.

It was easy to exchange numbers with the man, easy to let him lift your spirits.

And then it was time to leave, all three of you grouped at the entrance, saying bye, Bakugou and Kirishima giving each other another bro-hug.

You gave Kirishima a hug, leaning into his warm touch, enjoying his spicy cologne as you pressed your face against his broad chest. He eagerly returned the hug, until Bakugou was scoffing, pulling you out of his embrace.

“We’re in fucking public, you two, chill. Keep your pants on, sluts.”

Kirishima laughed, giving you a cheery wave as Bakugou gripped your hand until it hurt, dragging you out of the mall quickly.

-----

“Why are you being such a brat? You were fuckin’ fine earlier.” The blonde man grumbled, glancing over at you from where he was making dinner.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your water. “It’s not my fault you have a stick up your ass. All I said is I don’t like when you make food, tastes bad.”

Bakugou huffed, turning off the stove. “Are you fucking serious? You’re just trying to mess with me, aren’t’cha princess?”

“Could you stop calling me that? I’m not your princess.”

“You’re whatever I want you to be, princess.” Bakugou sneered, stomping towards you.

You quickly backpedalled, setting your glass of water down on the counter, stepping back. “I’m going to go set the table!” Was your way out, and Bakugou backed off as you threw open a cupboard, rummaging for plates and cups as he chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, you do that.” 

It wasn’t long before the table was set, Bakugou bringing the food to set it down onto the hotplate in the middle.

Even just a whiff of the food had your eyes watering, the spice through the roof.

“Seriously dude? You know you’re cooking for two people, why the fuck did you make it inedible?!?” 

The blonde man glared at you as he sat down, jaw working, mouth twisting. “You gonna be a bitch-baby about it? Should be fuckin’ grateful that I even made you dinner.”

“Thanks for dinner.” You mumbled, staring tiredly at the food Bakugou was heaping onto his plate. You didn’t feel like eating anymore, his outburst ruining your mood, reminding you of the time when he got angry because you wouldn’t go to bed, wouldn’t listen to him-

“Eat the damn food.” Katsuki snapped, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the present.

You did as he asked, even though it burned your mouth. Dinner was quickly gulped down, followed by desperate swigs of water as you tried to chase away the spice. Bakugou huffing the entire time at your inability to handle the level of spice he preferred.

Afterwards, you gathered up the plates and washed them, conscious of Katsuki hovering in the background of the kitchen, watching you work while he tapped away on his phone.

When the last dish was washed, dried, and put away, you began rummaging in the cupboards, looking for something sweet, something to soothe your tastebuds.

“What’re you doin’, didn’t I just feed you?”

Bakugou’s harsh voice made you flinch, but you kept your back to him. “Was hoping there’d be dessert.”

A long, irritated sigh, then a hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you away from the kitchen cupboards. “Ain’t got any of that shit in the house princess, you don’t need it.”

“But-” Your plead was interrupted by Bakugou rolling his eyes, snorting.

“Why are you being such a whiny baby? Is this cause Kiri was spoilin’ you earlier?”

Jutting your chin out, you glared up into red eyes as you turned around seething. “Maybe I like being treated like a person and not a problem. I don’t even understand why he’s friends with you - you’re mean and crass and stup-”

“So you’re just acting out cause you want some extra attention or some shit? What a brat.” The blonde sneered, leaning back against the counter as he tapped away at his phone again.

“You want Kiri so bad, fine. I’ll have him get you some shitty grocery-store dessert. Then maybe you’ll stop acting like a bitch. Stuff some candy in that mouth, will that keep you quiet, huh?”

It was infuriating, being treated like a child. Ignored, talked down to, unable to assert yourself or make decisions. 

“Whatever.” You huffed, shaking your head as you walked out of the kitchen. “Anything’s better than having to sit here with you.”

-----

The front door opening and the faint rustle of grocery bags caught your ear as you fumed on the couch, angrily questioning “why me?” as to your situation. But the noise meant your new friend was here, and he was much nicer than Bakugou.

Nice enough to have you smiling a bit as you rose to your feet, padding into the dining room as you beelined to the soft murmur of two manly voices.

“Heyyy! Long time no see!” The redhead was dressed in a loose tank top and basketball shorts, shoes discarded somewhere in the hall. 

You’d known he was muscular, but actually seeing his muscles without clothes in the way? You were stunned.

A bright blush encompassed your face when Bakugou snapped his fingers, narrowing his eyes at you. “Ay’, stupid! Focus! He got you a bunch of sweet shit. Rot your teeth out.” While gesturing to the two grocery bags resting on the dinner table.

“Hi Kirishima, thanks for the desserts-”

“Aw, it’s nothing. Bakubro wouldn’t tell me what kinda flavors you like so I kinda got a variety...”

Cupcakes and candy and various other sweet treats were nestled in the bags, and you grinned. “Dude, it’s all good. Wanna sit down and have some too?”

Bakugou snorted while Kiri smiled at you, nodding his head.  The dining chair creaked as his weight settled in it, the redhead pushing the grocery bags towards where you sat, encouraging you to pick anything you wanted.

The two men began to talk about this and that, mundane things about work, odd jobs, what their plans for the weekend were, boring stuff you easily tuned out as you indulged in sweet desserts.

Their attention turned to you when a whine slipped from your lips as frosting fell rom the cupcake you were eating and onto your shirt. Before you reached for a napkin, Kiri was leaning over, invading your space.

“You’re kinda messy, aren't you?” He breathed, a single finger swiping through the frosting on your shirt before the redhead sucked it into his mouth, looking at you through his eyelashes.

“Oh-u-uhm...” Was your elegant reply, tummy filled with butterflies at the fact that his finger had pressed against your skin through your shirt, right underneath your breast. 

He was so hot.

“Yeah, and a fuckin’ brat too. Little bitch can’t stop complaining about every little thing. Shut up the second I mentioned you were coming over.” Bakugou cackled, breaking the mood completely.

But Kirishima’s eyes were still on you as his now-clean finger slipped from his mouth. It was mesmerizing, watching the muscles in his arms shift and move as he leaned closer, slipping his hands underneath your shirt and raising the fabric so he could lick at the frosting still stuck on it.

Your breath stuttered, heat flaring suddenly in your tummy at the action.

And then Bakugou had to ruin it again. 

“You can fuck her if you want, I don’t mind. I told the old bird I would watch her kid for her. Didn’t say nothin’ about not getting her drunk on some cock.”

Eyes squeezing shut, you opened your mouth for some snappy reply, but Kirishima beat you to speaking.

“Yeah? Alright. You good with that baby?”

Wait, good with-?

Kirishima was looking up at you expectantly, fingers still clutched in your shirt, refusing to touch your skin. He was hot. This was hot. It’d be perfect if Bakugou wasn’t here.

“C’mon, just fuck her man, she’s been gaggin’ for your dick since she met you. Stop being a loser and man up.”

The redhead in front of you smiled, sharp teeth on display and gleaming. 

Then your shirt was being pulled over your head, hands gripping at your chest, thumbing over your nipples through your bra.

“W-wai-Kiri! Uhm, can’t we- uhm-”

Your voice was ignored, the redhead’s eyes glued to your chest as he pulled down your bra a bit, until he could palm each breast without anything in-between his warm hands and your soft skin.

“You’re so pretty...”

“She’s a whore.” Bakugou snarked.

Hands migrated to your waist, and you were easily lifted onto the table, Kirishima rising from his seat so he could push at your shoulders until they met the solid wood. Bakugou stayed seated, casually notching his hands behind his head and leaning back as he watched the show unfold before him.

Things were happening so fast, you didn’t know what to say, couldn’t move your hands to push away the broad redhead. This was so confusing. Yes, you wanted him, but you didn’t want Bakugou watching. You didn’t want to do this on the dining room table, didn’t like the quick turn the night had taken.

Your pants were being pulled down before you could organize your thoughts, before you could do much else aside from whimper and press your legs together.

“Hah, cute panties. You always wear stuff like this?” Kirishima asked, sliding a thumb underneath the elastic waistband only so he could snap it against your skin. You gasped at the little sting, unsure what to say, what to do.

“Most of her stuff is stupid girly shit like that, so yes.” 

You tried to throw a glare Bakugou’s way, but with the blonde somewhere behind you sitting at the table, you couldn’t turn your head far enough.

Especially not when you were distracted by Kirishima pushing down the waistband of his shorts. 

“I’m so glad I didn’t wear jeans.” He chuckled, holding his cock at the base as he sat back down again, scooting his chair up to edge of the table where your legs were splayed wide.

“Okay pretty, try and stay still for me. Make as much noise as you wanna, Bakugou and I don’t mind.” And then a warm mouth was pressed up against your cunt, licking at you over your panties, dragging the rough cotton against your most sensitive parts.

“Oh! o-oh, oh-oh-” Was all you could make your mouth manage as the redhead gripped your thighs in his giant hands, pushing them apart and allowing his massive shoulders to fit between them as he bent to lick at your pussy.

It felt... It felt so good, building up pressure in your stomach as your hole clenched around nothing.

Then Kiri did something awful, pulling your panties to the side and nosing into your folds with a pleased grunt. His skin was so warm, and you were so wet, and his nose started bumping against your clit as the man sloppily mouthed at you, and you couldn’t-couldn’t

“Stop-stop! ‘m gonna cum!” You wailed, legs twitching.

Immediately Kirishima drew back, soothing circles getting rubbed into your calves by thick fingers. “You don’t wanna cum in my mouth? Wanna cum on my cock instead? That’s cute.”

He stood up, and you barely got a glimpse of his dick bobbing against his stomach before he was leaning forward and catching your lips in a kiss. It almost scared you, sharp teeth poking menacingly against your lips, dragging across your skin as Kirishima moved his mouth against yours, but the redhead knew how to work with his teeth.

“Man, she really is a slut for you.” Bakugou piped up from behind you. He was a bit breathless, voice scratcher, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when Kirishima was pulling away with a groan, one of his hands fisting his cock.

The redhead gathered the spit in his mouth, leaned down, and let it drip onto your cunt, panties still pushed to the side. It was burning hot, adding to the fire in your tummy, blazing higher and higher.

Heavy breathing and labored panting filled the room as Kirishima edged closer to you, laying his cock flat against your entrance, playing with your panties as he did so until they pressed against his cock as it nestled between the lips of your cunt.

And then he started grinding.

Slow, delicious, absolutely heavenly.

You almost didn’t care about the disgusting little groans coming from Bakugou, the slick sounds of him fucking his fist, the creak of his chair behind you.

Almost.

Your attention was more focused on the pleasurable little zings going up your spine as Kiri rubbed his cock through your folds, all slick and wet. You kept your legs spread wide for him, barely able to breathe at the heat that seemed to fill the space, fill your lungs and steal your voice.

Kiri leaned down to kiss you again, and your hands fisted into his tank top, the material sweaty as it clung to his chest. If you could focus, you’d be trying to pull it off him, see the beautiful skin underneath, the man’s gorgeous body.

But what he was doing with his hips felt so good, you couldn’t even think.

“Kiri-Kiri, gonna-ohmygod-gonna-!”

And you came, shuddering as his cock kept fucking back and forth through your folds, twitching against your clit, veins in his dick pulsing and dragging against your skin.

He wasn’t stopping.

“Unhh, I came, please, wait Kirishima-”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to cum on my cock baby? I’m barely getting warmed up.” A feral smile gleamed bright from his lips. “I don’t play like Bakugou, I like messy girls. Gonna get you so fucked out you can’t even speak, can’t even walk. Won’t give him any trouble then, right? You’ll be good? For us?”

The look in his eye told you that you weren’t going to get a choice.

“Fuck Kiri, turn her over when you fuck her cunt so I can use her mouth.” Bakugou’s voice cut in, and your mood soured even more.

But Kirishima was already agreeing, cock still thrusting against your cunt. 

You didn’t get to make decisions anymore.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

All my kitty!lino AUs

Warnings: prostitution, slavery. 

AU 1:

minho is a prized breeding kitty that you're hired to guard as he is a very rare and pure breed and having him breed other pure kitties makes for very profitable offspring

as a result of being treated like royalty all his life, he's super rude to you, a common guard dog

he's always snarky with you and he never listens and you have enough of it one day

you push him down to the floor, your teeth grazing against his delicate neck, showing him that you were not someone to be trampled on

"that's right. you have nothing to say now, brat." you growl, sitting up to look at the frightened kitty

but as you sit back, your ass comes into contact with his boner

arching an eyebrow, you smirk and roll your hips over his clothed dick "now what do we have here?"

minho stays silent, frowning but not making any attempt to push you off

"don't tell me you like this." you tease him, grinding against him harder and pulling breathy little moans from his pouty lips "kitty likes it when I'm mean to him?"

"Yeah you like that pretty kitty? Are you gonna make a mess in your pants for me? Good boy."

you make him cum like that without even touching his dick

minho is shameless after that brazenly getting on your nerves so you'd punish him

he gets so needy that now you're getting him off on the daily, letting him hump your thighs to get off while you degrade him

his insatiable need would be bad enough but now he's outright refusing to breed the cat hybrids anymore

no matter how many times you try to convince the stubborn idiot that he's going to draw attention and ruin you both, he still refuses

until finally you make a deal with him that you'll have sex with him if he continues breeding the cats

he's not fully convinced. why would he waste his seed on other women when you were right there?

"because I'm not your kind, you stupid cat."

but minho doesn't care. all he cares about is getting to breed you

"Fuck you're burning up. Are you going into heat over this? Dumb little kitten thinks he can put babies in my belly."

your words only make him fuck you harder as if he could do it if he tried hard enough

AU 2:

he's the prince's very picky kitty, rarely is a cat good enough for him. he rarely mates at all and the prince doesn't understand it one bit

one day they're walking around shopping in the bazaar when lino catches a whiff of your scent. he follows it to a shady part of the market that he never saw before

that's when he sees you standing there with a heavy chair around your neck and a cheap transparent dress over your body

out of nowhere a short disgusting man appear and he asks him if he wants to see your tits. it's only for a couple of coins

minho shouldn’t say yes. He has a whole harem of much better bred pussies for him to pick and choose from. He didn’t need to pay a disgusting man to see the body of some nameless mongrel

yet here he was hanging the slimey man the coins

the man all but rips your bodice open, eager to please the rich hybrid.

Minho feels an uncomfortable tightness in his pants. His mouth waters at the sight of your full breasts on display for him and he finds himself moving forward to touch, but the man steps in.

“The silver was to see not to touch. Three if you want to touch.”

Minho grunts and gives him what he wants. you don't seem impressed by him.

He cradles your breasts in his hands and leans down to pluck a pert nipple into his mouth, ear perked to the sound of your restrained gasp.

but then he hears the prince calling for him and he rips himself away from you and wipes his mouth harshly, panting as if he was under a spell.

Gulping, he spares your half naked form one last glance before he’s retreating towards his owner. As he slips back into the main room he hears the vendor call after him smugly, “We’ll be waiting for you, my lord.”

He does come back, this time more worked up than last time as he couldn't go to sleep thinking about you and he was reduced to getting himself off multiple time throughout the night just to cool down

his owner catches him this time though. "So this is why you were so eager to come back even though you hate the market. I gotta say I'm surprised by your taste." The prince grins. "Did you mount her yet?"

Minho blanches, feeling humiliated at being caught "of course not. I would never defile myself with such a mongrel."

The prince arches an eyebrow. "It's okay minho. Sometimes you need to slum it down a little. I get that urge too. Cheap prostitutes like her have their draw."

The prince grabs you and pushes her over a table, pulling your skirt up. "Come on kitty. Take her. I know you're dying to."

minho's hesitation evaporate when he sees your pussy exposed and waiting for him. he quickly comes up beind you, pushing his length into you even though you weren't wet. it's uncomfortable but it's not the first time a man shoves his dick into your pussy without bothering to get you wet

it's over soon anyway, the spoiled cat getting overwhelmed by your tight walls and ends up cumming embarrassingly fast. He stumbles away, watching his cum drip from your fucked out hole.

"We'll take her."

Minho looks at him shocked. "I finally have something for my precious pet to fuck. You're so picky."

AU 3:

You were standing outside the gymnasium for a quick smoke when a voice slurs behind you. "Where is your little boyfriend?"

You roll your eyes, already fed up with the boy that is talking to you.

"What, he couldn't stand the thought of fucking you tonight so he ran away?"

You narrow your eyes at him. How did he know you were planning to give your virginity to your Hyunjin tonight? If he had shown up that is.

You don't even know what minho's deal is. He wasn't always like this. You remember a time long, long ago when the two of you were friends. He was so nice and sweet to you when you first met as kids. But then suddenly out of nowhere he turned on you for absolutely no reason.

"Tell me, mutt. What was he gonna give you so he could get between your legs? A pack of cigarettes?" Oh yeah, that’s why. He looks down on you for not being a purebred like him.

You huff the smoke in his face in agitation, still ignoring him.

"Aw, don't be sad. If he won't do it, I can rise to the occasion. Just tell me how much." He goads you. You throw the cigarette to the ground, violently snuffing it out with your heels when an idea pops into your head.

Looking up at him, you reply simply. "50k."

"W-what?"

"You're so fucking obsessed with my sex life so you must really want me. So yeah I'll give it to you for 50k."

"You're a crazy bitch."

you were just messing with him. and he worked. he left you alone

what you never expected was for him to show up the next day at your door, shoving a heavy suitcase into your arms

"what's this?"

"50k." He mumbles.

“Is this a joke?”

“You said you’d give it to me for 50k.” He explains flatly, looking everywhere except at you.

you walk towards him. "You really are a sick pervert, aren't you? Buying my virginity?"

He stays silent, looking at the ground so you grab his jaw and force him to look at you.

"You're not in control. I am. Got it?" You sneer, and he stares for a second, processing that you’re actually agreeing to go through with this, then he nods enthusiastically.

AU 4:

you're a dog hybrid and he's a cat hybrid. He's been kissing you secretly since long ago

You know it's wrong but you like it so you keep it a secret. and you always get so jealous when his heat comes and he goes away to fuck someone else.

When he comes back he's apologetic and spends days trying to make you forgive him. He shouldn't have to. He's not yours.

You touch yourself while you're sleeping next to him a lot. He pretends he doesn't know but it drives him insane

He's waits till you have your first heat. You're supposed to be given to chan but he convinces you not to let your owner know telling you he'll take care of you

You know this is forbidden but you let him fuck you because you're in love with him.

"Oppa this is too much."

"Shh baby take it. You've teased me long enough."

He cums in you but doesn't pull out so he can fuck you more. He's been training himself for this in order to satisfy you.

You get overwhelmed and he laughs at how cute you are. ask him to kiss you so he does

"What a cutie. All mine."

"Open your mouth." He lets a trail of spit fall from his mouth and you obediently open up and take it like you've been taught. He groans and kisses you softly. You whine in his mouth as he fucks you again.

"Not gonna go to that mutt right baby? Only I get to do this to you."

AU 5:

he's the queens pet and you're the leader of a mercenary group the queen has hired to fight a battle for her

he immediately takes an interest in you and follows you around thinking that he's slick

In the beginning, his infatuation was merely amusing to you as you took to teasing him whenever you got the chance--cornering him when the princess wasn't looking and whispering filthy things in his ear. It was both easy and fun to work up the needy kitten.

What you hadn’t expected was for him to walk in on you while you were fucking one of your own hybrids, Chan. The big wolf tended to get rowdy so you were often rough with him to keep him under control, and well that's how the masochistic hybrid liked it too.

You expected him to be terrified of you after that, he certainly looked the part, but he surprised you by coming to you teary eyes and whimpering pleas so moving that you couldn’t resist giving him whatever he asked for, which was badly worded and clueless seeing as he had never been in any kind of physical relationship before.

He’s never done something like this before. His owner, the queen, kept him on a tight leash, untouched and forever pure. He had been taking suppressants ever since his very first heat and, before he met you, he had barely remembered what it was like to feel that painfully delicious pang of pleasure in his belly.

He holds onto you as you pleasure him, one hand fisted in your clothes and the other wrapped around your wrist as if he was afraid you were going to hurt him. If you were to look at his expression, you would think that you were hurting him, a small frown on his face as he whines and whimpers.

You stroke his cheek softly with the back of your fingers, finding it hot to the touch. “What is it, kitten?”

“It hurts.” He sobs.

“I know, baby. I’ll make it go away.” You almost feel guilty for purposefully prolonging his pain, the stimulation you give his cock designed to make him reach the edge at the slowest possible pace, but the truth is you weren’t sorry at all.

“You know, kitten, you should come with me when I leave. I’ll hide you until we’re out of the castle walls. Your princess won’t even realize you’re missing until it’s too late, and when you’re with me, every moment will be filled with pleasure. I’ll take care of you like she never did. I’ll show you a whole world of pleasure. How does that sound, kitty?” You seduce as your thumb flits over his weeping slit, distracting him and seducing him. “Hmm, you wanna come with me?”

“I--I’m not--I don’t know.” He answers nervously, his brain too hazy especially as you finally speed up your strokes, jumbling up all his thought process.

“Don’t think too much, kitten. Don’t you want to feel good?” You purr, tightening your fist around his cock to give him more pleasure.

“Yes, but--”

“No buts, darling. Don’t you wanna be a good kitten for Master?” You ask, referring to yourself and he gasps, his cock jumps in your hand. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You’re a dirty little kitten, aren’t you?”

“No!” He cries, shaking his head from side to side, but there is no denying the way his stomach tightens and his hips buck off the bed as his orgasm approaches and his primal senses take over. “I can’t take it! Please, help me. I can’t--”

His seed splatters across his abdomen as he cums, and you talk him through it. “That’s it, baby. Let go for me. Let it all out. Good kitten.”

you ruin him so thoroughly that he gives into her and lets her fuck him in front of the queen herself

"Lino stop that! You sound like a common whore."

"I can't help it. Mistress… is making me burn up." "Ah fuck." He keens

"Your precious kitten is getting fucked regularly, that’s why he sounds like that. He’s nothing but a loose slut right now. I fucking ruined him. Isn’t that right, kitten?"

"Hah... touch my cock." He drools on the sheets under him and you laugh, grabbing his cock from underneath and starting to milk him. “See? Just a dumb slut.”

___________

A/N: one of these will most likely get a proper fic but I couldn’t keep these to myself

[theclockworkmonk]

Out of the Mouths of Babes — Chapter 5

AO3 | FFN

Previous chapter on Tumblr

Written for Hinny Ficfest 2021

Prompt: “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

*******

Harry barely reacted in time to put up a Shield Charm before two Stunning Spells shot across the kitchen table at him and deflected up into the ceiling.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Ginny and Ron shouted at the same time, Ron flailing and tipping over backward in his chair.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Charlie screamed at Harry.

"Is he pressuring you into this?" Bill growled at Ginny.

"There is no reason to resort to something so drastic!" said Percy.

"And it's definitely not something to laugh about," said George.

Fleur was babbling a mile a minute in French, tears welling in her eyes and trying to get Victoire to stop crying.

Molly had collapsed into Arthur's arms and fainted.

"Have you lot all lost your minds!?" shouted Harry. "Why is it so important that I keep it?"

"What use do we have for it, anyway?" asked Ginny.

A second explosion of angry shouting erupted as all the Weasleys talked over each other.

"How in the WORLD is all this the appropriate response to Harry and Ginny living together!?" pleaded Hermione.

"THAT'S NOT — wait, they're living together!?" said Percy.

Hermione gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh please," George rolled his eyes, "Anyone with a brain already knew that."

"What!? Why didn't you say anything!" said Charlie, "We could have stopped this before it happened!"

"Gee, thanks, Hermione," growled Harry as she blushed harder.

"Then what the hell are all you gits talking about!?" barked Ginny loudly to cut through the cacophony of testosterone. "As annoying as you always are when treating me like an innocent girl, it makes more sense than getting upset about Harry's stupid Wizengamot seat!"

"Harry has a Wizengamot seat!?" asked Percy in awe.

"Don't get any ideas, Perce, Harry's taken," said George.

"Of course we're not talking about that!" said Molly, her voice shaking as she regained consciousness and stood up straight. "We're talking about the baby!"

Harry and Ginny looked sideways at Victoire.

"THE NEW BABY!" Molly shrieked, growing more exasperated.

"What, Hermione's baby?" asked Ginny.

Molly fainted again.

"Ex-CUSE me!?" cried Hermione as every head in the room spun to face her, Ron's turning a sickly shade of green.

"Oh...I shouldn't have eaten all those biscuits," Ron muttered fearfully, holding his stomach.

"Wait, Hermione's pregnant too?" asked Percy.

"No, I am not!" said Hermione forcefully.

"Wait, what do you mean 'too?'" asked Ginny. "Who else is pregnant?"

"THERE IS NO 'ELSE!' I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Hermione screamed. "Can we please establish that first?"

"Love, just calm down," said Ron softly, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. "It's okay, we can handle this. Why don't you just sit down…."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, even if I were pregnant, if you start coddling me you'll regret it. Ginny, why the hell did you say that I'm pregnant?"

"Well she kept dropping hints left and right that someone was pregnant!" Ginny gestured wildly towards Fleur, who until now was doing a good job of avoiding the chaos, and blushed self-consciously when it was her turn to be the focus of all the anger.

"Ginny, just stop it!" Fleur lashed out. "I was trying to encourage you to come clean!"

"...Me?"

"Ginny, we know about the baby," said Arthur calmly. "We've known for days."

About a dozen different emotions collided violently inside Harry. He couldn't imagine what the expression on his face might look like. He slowly turned on the spot towards Ginny.

"I'm sure you're about to say something all noble and comforting," said Ginny dryly. "But you don't have to be that good of a boyfriend yet. No, I'm not pregnant."

"I applaud your performance, Gin-Gin," said George, "but nothing stays secret for long in this family." He jerked his head toward Ron.

"Wha—Why are you jerking your head towards me, don't jerk your head towards me!" Ron panicked.

"Why is he jerking his head towards you, Ron?" Ginny seethed.

"Hell if I know!" Ron said defensively. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, this is the first I've heard of any new babies!"

"Sorry, Ronniekins, but you spilled the beans to Teddy, and he sold you out," said George.

"You told Teddy that I'm pregnant!?" Ron flinched as Ginny smacked his arm.

"Using much more vulgar language," Molly whimpered, still trembling and desperately clutching onto Arthur for support.

"I did not tell Teddy that you're pregnant!" Ron spoke up. "I never even—"

He stopped speaking and his eyes bulged out. He and Hermione faced each other, realization dawning on their faces.

Ron's voice is small. "...Oh—Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it!" he cowered as Hermione started furiously hitting him.

"You — complete — idiot Ronald Weasley!" she shouted with each hit.

Ginny's older brothers were looking far too pleased with themselves for her taste.

"Okay, so can we stop this charade now?" asked Bill.

"Okay, I don't know what this latest domestic incident is about," said Ginny, pointing at the sparring couple, "I just know that I'm not pregnant."

"Teddy heard Ron saying that Harry had knocked you up!" said Charlie.

"No….but I might have said that it was likely that he would knock her up."

Harry gaped at him. "Why were you discussing me knocking up Ginny at all!?" he demanded, as he physically restrained Ginny from attacking Ron.

"Because you both were being so bloody shameless!" Ron shouted back. "It's enough to drive anyone mental! Don't try to annoy your brother by having no self-control and then get mad when he says you have no self control!"

"I want the record to show that I did not partake in this line of reasoning and told him he was being ridiculous," said Hermione.

"Thanks for the support, Love," said Ron.

Bill, Charlie, and Percy all seemed to have deflated like balloons. Their faces matched their hair and they were looking anywhere but Ginny's furious face.

"Well...erm…." said Charlie, trying to keep his face stern, "Ron's right, you should still—"

"Oh, do not try to still chest-beat after you've all been exposed as idiots!" Ginny hissed. "You've all been absolutely terrible to Harry and me based on what a toddler overheard!"

"She is right," Fleur scolded her husband, rejoining the row now that she had calmed Victoire down, "If you zink zat she is pregnant, you should not start fights to stress 'er out! Shame on you!" Bill hung his head.

"You know, I really don't think that trying to manipulate Ginny into talking about it is much better," said Harry flatly, "You all need to mind your own business!"

"Yes, don't think I'm going to forget this any time soon!" Ginny waved a threatening finger at all of them. "Not only treating me like an idiot child who's been taken advantage of, but actually thinking we're stupid and reckless enough to unintentionally get pregnant in the first place!"

"See, Molly dear?" Arthur told his wife gently, "it was all just a misunderstanding." He had guided her into a chair and was trying to calm her down. Her breathing was quick and shallow and her eyes were darting around madly.

"...No. No, it all fit…" she shook her head violently, "They're covering it up. You need to tell the truth, Ginny!"

It was clear that there was no reasoning with her, she had become delirious by now from all the chaos and panic.

Ginny groaned. "All right, you want to settle this? Fine, let's settle this." And without another word, she marched out of the kitchen into the sitting room, threw some floo powder into the fireplace, called out "Diagon Alley!" and disappeared into the flames.

The kitchen was finally quiet for the next few minutes as Molly's breathing slowly but surely slowed down to merely anxious instead of an outright panic attack. Bill and Fleur were bickering quietly in French, while Hermione silently gave Ron her best "I told you so" look for not watching what he said around Teddy.

After what felt like an eternity, the fireplace roared to life again and Ginny marched back into the kitchen, dusting soot off her clothes.

"Where did you go?" asked Harry.

She held up a vial of clear liquid. "Apothecary," she said shortly. The unique shape of the bottle was instantly recognizable.

"Oh, well that's just great," said Ron tiredly. "Harry Potter's girlfriend hastily buying a pregnancy test potion, I'm sure that won't be in the headlines tomorrow."

Ginny ignored him as she skimmed over the card that came attached to the potion. "Okay, yeah, blue for boy, pink for girl, white for not pregnant."

She uncorked the flask, set it down on the table, used her wand to cut off a single strand of her hair, and lowered it into the solution. The clear, colorless contents of the bottle instantly started bubbling furiously.

"See?" Ginny barked furiously, "So, now that we've gotten this circus over with, I would greatly appreciate it if you gits kindly butted the hell out of my love life, and we can all….just….move….on…."

Her voice trailed off into nothing as her eyes remained locked on the vial on the table.

Which was now a bright, vibrant blue.

[miraculouscontent]

where do i even begin

The focus in this episode is all over the place and also on none of the right things.

Let’s just start with the obvious: they didn’t even bother showing Alya's reaction to Marinette being Ladybug. We got nothing. Marinette revealing her identity to Alya is supposed to be a big deal, but the episode brushes it under the rug and even seems to lowkey blame Marinette for not telling Alya sooner, to the point where it outright lies and has Alya claim that Marinette’s secret was responsible for all of Alya’s Lady Wifi appearances.

It’s not like I’m surprised anymore when the show blames Marinette for like--anything, but the fact that this season seems to brag about its continuity by being on a firm timeline and then keeps going against continuity is really irritating.

And speaking of continuity, the Adrien pictures are back on the wall with absolutely no reason given. Narratively speaking, the show put them there so Alya would see them and think of bringing up Adrien to get Marinette to take a break, but the show can’t just do that if it wants to imply that it has continuity. Worse still is that this is the episode featuring “Charm Bug” (does her form have a name? I just call it Charm Bug and continue to do so), meaning that “Gang of Secrets” (where there were no Adrien pictures) has to take place before this and “Furious Fu” (where there are also no Adrien pictures) has to take place after.

At this point, they might as well just confirm that “destiny” is a real force and the ladybug miraculous is messing with Marinette’s room and twisting her emotions to make the love square endgame because--yeah, that’s all it is at this point.

The other thing is that Alya shoos Marinette away from her guardian duties so Marinette can go comfort Kagami (let’s be honest, the best part of the episode was Alya being like, “but what about Adrien?” and Marinette was basically like, “what about Adrien?”), which sounds great, but then it all goes back to Adrien, because of course it does.

Not only that, but the episode mocks Marinette for worrying about Kagami. Not only does Alya doubt Marinette’s concern, but Kagami isn’t at all affected by the break-up and isn’t even touched by Marinette’s worry.

The thing is, I get where Marinette’s coming from, because this is the Kagami who told Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” that she (Kagami) and Adrien were perfect for each other to the point where Kagami prioritized her potentially getting together with Adrien over her friendship with Marinette. Also keep in mind that Marinette is Kagami’s only friend, and it makes total sense that Marinette would expect Kagami to be devastated by the break-up.

But because it’s Miraculous, the show makes Marinette look like an idiot for being concerned for Kagami, as if saying, “Silly Marinette! Kagami’s not like you! Kagami is a strong independent woman!! You’re just so over-emotional and you were ridiculous for being sad about your own break-up! You should be more like her!”

I also don’t like it because it presents Kagami as this character who really does feel nothing due to the show not letting her. She was angry at Adrien, obviously, but she was also immensely upset and it made sense when she put so much effort in trying to get him to return her affections.

Buuuut no. Kagami is just annoyed by Marinette’s efforts to try and get her back together with Adrien (it’s not that her anger isn’t warranted, but that’s all they let her feel instead of any genuine sadness over the break-up).

And of course, there’s no mention about Marinette literally trying to help get Kagami back together with Adrien and how selfless that is on Marinette’s part. Obviously I don’t agree with Marinette disregarding Kagami’s feelings (I do hate though how the episode refused to have Kagami explain why Adrien upset her, which would help Marinette understand because she seems to think there’s a misunderstanding/Kagami doubting herself), but the episode refuses to acknowledge Marinette’s good intentions because it’s Marinette and because she’s supporting Adrimi and not the love square, so they’ll make her look as bad as possible. This led to the fandom talking about Marinette and her oBsEsSiOn with Adrien instead of saying UM HI YEAH MARINETTE IS DOING A “HEART HUNTER” 2.0??

(The show also does this consistently, by the way.)

Another thing the show won’t acknowledge is that what Marinette does with Kagami is extremely similar to what Alya does with Marinette. Alya has ignored Marinette’s agency, physically pushed her towards Adrien, and locked her in a room with Adrien no matter how many times Marinette has told her no and that she doesn’t want that.

But because it’s Marinette and because what she’s shipping is Adrimi (i.e: a ship that interferes with the love square), the episode absolutely tears her apart for it. If Alya’s meddling was treated the same way - where she’d be constantly put in the wrong and punished for it - I wouldn’t say a word about this, but we know that’s not the case from “Reflekdoll” (where Reflekta targeted Marinette and Rose of all people) and “The Puppeteer 2″ (hey, remember when Alya did all of that and then it was the museum staff who did nothing wrong who got the worst of Puppeteer’s wrath?).

And this isn’t even taking into consideration that, once again, Marinette has learned something from someone else because they were never called out or punished or learned (originally being Adrien/Bustier where she “learned” to trust Chloe and see where that got her???), and then she’s the one who gets the heat for it.

Might I also add how insulting it is that the episode before this had Marinette saying that she “didn’t want to focus on love,” and then immediately afterwards, Alya is pushing for Adrienette and the episode itself won’t let anyone shut up about Adrien?

Like, this is the episode where Marinette does guardian stuff, gets an upgrade in Charm Bug, and yet the episode hyperfocuses on Aaaaaadrien. He doesn’t even do anything; he’s just a black hole that inhales all available attention and magically pulls all the characters towards his general location.

Then the episode keeps breaking its own continuity as an excuse to make things more about Adrien and also more about the love square, like saying that Marinette carries her disguises everywhere when it’s really just an excuse for Marinette to conveniently have the umbrella so that they can recreate the umbrella scene (by the way, the line from Marinette about “recreating Kagami’s moment where she fell in love with Adrien” is both incredibly forced and incredibly obvious because we’ve never even seen how Kagami fell for Adrien).

And when you already know how the show goes, it all becomes so predictable, which is a huge problem. By the time you hear Marinette say that she “didn’t want to focus on love” last episode, you already know what’s going happen. This episode reaffirms Marinette’s crush on Adrien, which is weird because it’s not as if there was ever any doubt in the first place? The show didn’t even try to convince its audience that Marinette was actually trying to move on, which gives the scene no impact when it happens. We already know that Marinette isn’t really in denial (she’s not stupid) and is very likely saying that she’s not in love with Adrien because admitting it hasn’t gotten her anywhere and she’s repeating something to herself is an attempt to make it true (which is a common coping mechanism for people with self-esteem issues/anxiety), so the scene is just for shipping fuel.

We’ve seen future episodes that show that Marinette hasn’t made any actual progress, hence being another piece of evidence towards my theory that the show does it on purpose to get the Adrienette fans to freak out when anything happens even if it’s reversed in the end. It’s particularly frustrating because it denies Marinette of agency yet again, with her saying something and the show then going lol okay but what if--

It’s gross, and made more so by Kagami watching Marinette and Adrien from a distance and saying that they’re “made for each other.” I’ve talked many times before about how the show is too lazy to have actual chemistry between the love square so they’ll just have characters say that they’re meant to beeeeee, so I won’t go into that, but really, actually think about what Kagami’s saying here.

This is the guy that, in her eyes, abandoned her repeatedly on dates and lied in order to get away from her. She stated outright that Adrien had disappointed her to the point where all of her feelings for Adrien seemed to have completely disappeared and she didn’t even want to be friends with him anymore (at least for now).

Yet, the show had Kagami not only say that line, but told Marinette directly that Adrien was perfect for her. This means either one of two things, neither being good:

- the show intentionally had Marinette do all this so that Kagami would feel embarrassed for Adrien and thus fix all of Adrimi’s relationship problems without Adrien having to do any work to earn her trust back (notice how Adrien in this episode is an “extra good boy” this time around, probably even more than they usually try - keyword: try - to portray him)

- Kagami’s opinion on Adrien hasn’t changed at all and she’s essentially saying that Marinette belongs with this guy who has hurt Kagami, betrayed her trust, and will probably do the same to Marinette

And obviously the show doesn’t think about any of that. It just wants to push for the love square. The only reason there was any focus on Kagami at all was to have a reason to get Marinette to go to Kagami, for Kagami to get angry at Marinette because - as we all know - Marinette “has to mess up and learn in every episode,” so there’d be a reason to go to where Adrien was, and so Kagami could become the next local shipper for the love square.

Marinette didn’t even get to figure out the magical charms by herself; Rena Rouge gave her the answer. It was like the show saw her doing guardian work and shoved her out the door because the only thing she’s good for is being part of the love square. Alya gets seconds of time shown with her looking over the grimoire to figure out the trick, which makes the whole thing underwhelming and rushed when Rena comes up and tells Ladybug that it’s essentially “just been about her” the whole time, meaning it’s just the show yet again being like “see, Marinette? If you’d just figured this out bEfORe...” (note that the episode never tells Marinette that she’s unnecessarily guilting/blaming herself)

But yeah, despite the episode not giving Adrien anything to do, characters talk about him constantly, Marinette somehow doesn’t get the spotlight she needs despite getting a power-up form, and the episode feels the need to constantly railroad Marinette exactly where it wanted to go, not for her, but for the love square, which has always been about not her. It’s already bad when the episode itself is bad, but when it has so much to throw in and delivers on absolutely none of it, it just makes it all the more painful.

[spandexinspace]

13 18 19 40 47

13. What’s the worst character assassination you’ve seen happen?

I'm kinda blanking here, so I'm going to go with the most recent issue of The Human Target turning Guy into a controlling, abusive asshole. Guy is intense, loud and somewhat crass, but he's not that and he treats Tora better than that.

Actually, one more but it's not super specific. Comics that basically ignore Booster's character development (and it's still one of the best character arcs in big two comics). It seems to still be canon post-Flashpoint, but writers love to turn him into an idiot who knows fuck all about time travel.

18. Which character got fucked over by the reboot the most?

I'm not one to get off my Legion horse, so the Legion. Seriously, they rebooted one singular year before Flashpoint. And then Flashpoint happened and they were not rebooted again (except some parts were still rebooted but only a little), but they got disconnected from reality and everything just went down the drain from there. I blame most of our current issues on that. I don't think we'd be stuck with the shitty Bendisboot if DC hadn't done that to them.

It's also somewhat likely that Flashpoint is what killed the other projects that were supposed to spin out of L3W, like the reboot team as the new Wanderers. Which could have been an amazing title.

19. Rant about a change they made to a character of your choice.

Vril on No Justice. Vril takes every opportunity to talk about how much he hates his dad, it's the most obvious part of his entire character and if you've read more than one issue of any comic he's been in you'd know that.

So why is this new Vril suddenly some kind of basic bitch who sucks up to his dad? How does that make any sense with his character?

And that's just the most basic part, everything else he does in that comic is also just a lot less calculated than his normal behaviour, even outright juvenile at times. Vril is emotionally fucked up and all that, but he knows how to lie and manipulate and that is his first line of defence, especially when up against an enemy that's stronger than him (i.e. the entire League+villains team up coalition). Also, he has no reason to want to follow through with that plan.

There was no reason to change all that, but I'm 100% sure the creative team saw Vril, realised he was Brainiac's son and decided to just give zero fucks about his actual traits because he's a minor character and they knew few people would notice.

40. What’s your most detested plot point?

Is "Darkseid is revealed as the man behind the man" a plot point? Because I hate it and will start to resent any book that does it. He's so, so boring and I never want to see him again. You have other villains, use them.

Also, I hate storylines where Querl "goes insane". I'm not against writers exploring his mental health because that's very obviously something that is pertinent to his characters, but simplifying it down to "goes insane" is such a lazy take and I can't remember a time when it's actually been developed beyond that.

47. What’s the worst blatantly untrue fanon take you thought was canon?

I can't actually remember any specific instance where I've had that problem. There's probably some batstuff I'm totally wrong about because I don't read anything from that part of the universe yet see a lot of fandom content.

I guess the cartoon fandom convinced me that comic Beast Boy was just like the cartoon version back when I was like twelve? Which turned out to be very false once I actually got into comics, much to my disappointment.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone,  but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin: 

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

[theluckyyyoneee]

antipode | pcy

pairing: park chanyeol x reader

contents: high school!au, soccerplayer!chanyeol, serious!yn, mild cursing, reader becoming very confused and thinks they’re going crazy!seriously reader has minor panic attack:(

word count: 10,2k

summary: AlternateUniverseAU! When the guy you hate—and who you’re certain hates you—becomes your boyfriend after you swore he kicked a soccer ball at your head.

part 01  |  part 02  |  part 03:finale

You can’t be friends with everybody.

Damned if that wasn’t the truest statement you’d ever heard.

Trying to appear friendly to everyone you met without changing your personality to fit theirs or their expectations they held for you a few moments after first meeting you, you now used that saying as a very important and undeniable proverb to live by at a relatively young age.

You guessed it was a good thing that you weren’t one of those people who needed to be the center of attention or someone who enjoyed being surrounded by people who all pretended to be your friends to your face while insulting you behind your back. So that was why you preferred to keep company in the form of three close friends who were like your own family. Ugh, high school drama.

You couldn’t wait to graduate and spend at least one month relaxing before starting to register and pack up for college, already grimacing at how busy you would be this summer, but at least at college they would treat you more like the adult you were, or at least the adult you felt like, rather than babying you in high school.

“Class don’t forget, I already gave you an extension on yesterdays homework, so I fully expect it on my desk tomorrow afternoon before class starts. Okay?”

Groans erupted from the whole class, save you and a few other students who had actually completed the assignment when it was first issued. 

“Ms. Lee, can we just turn it in on Friday please? I haven’t had time to finish it with the soccer practices that I have everyday, I’m sure you know that the game is coming up.” You didn’t even have to look to your right to know it was Chanyeol who was speaking, his smooth and loud words piercing through the noise and the whole classroom silenced at the sound of his voice. 

You also didn’t have to look at him to tell that he was giving Ms. Lee his signature kicked puppy expression; wide brown eyes and his lower lip jutted out in an exaggerated pout. Keeping your constant gaze on your teacher instead, you watched somewhat amusedly at the flush that crept on her cheeks you could see from your seat, the way her hands balled into fists at her side then gripped the material of her slacks as she agreed with a shaky tone, deciding that Friday was a better day after all.

As soon as the teacher had turned her back to the students, no doubt fantasizing a scenario that would land her in jail if she acted upon it, given the teacher student relationship, even though you were certain he was eighteen. Chanyeol and a few of his jockhead buddies next to him exchanged high fives, the bell signaling the end of the school day motivating everyone to spring up from their seats and out the door.

“Ugh,” you muttered under your breath, taking a stand as well and stole another glance in his direction, scoffing and shaking your head slightly at his eyes already on your figure, his head tilted to the side as he wiggled his fingers in your direction, his friends watching from the sidelines, giggling at his actions, slapping him jokingly on the arm as they watched you exit out the door.

Idiots, didn’t they have minds of their own? You didn’t think so, since they chose to spend their time with that pompous and self-entitled jerk. No, maybe they were just as bad as he was, but there wasn’t a way for you to know since they had never attempted to mess with you the way Chanyeol adored.

“Wow, so approachable Y/n, no wonder you only have, like, three friends. You know, you should really appreciate me more for even talking to you.” Junmyeon chides, slinging his arm over your shoulder as he appears suddenly at your side in the busy hallway, keeping close to you to avoid getting in anyone’s way.

A genuine smile crept on your lips and you softly jabbed him in the stomach with your elbow, ignoring how solid his midsection seemed underneath his shirt. A huff of air escaped him and he clutched his stomach dramatically, wringing his hold on your shoulders even tighter and you gasped, grimacing as he pushed your face into his chest as he ruffled your hair with his other hand.

“Yeah right, you with your dad jokes, you would just drive them away.” You retorted, pushing him off you as the two of you neared your locker, shaking your head and fixing your nest of a hairstyle thanks to that nerd. Putting in the right combination on your lock, you smirked as you glanced at him leaning against the lockers next to yours and continued, “I swear, sometimes it’s like you’re a middle aged man inside a teenagers body.”

He opened his mouth in indignation, rolling his eyes and scoffed, looking into the distance as a scowl graced his handsome features. “Not my fault that I have a sense of humor too sophisticated for a peasant’s taste like yours.”

Giving him the middle finger with one hand, you shoved your locker shut with the other and readjusted your backpack and walked alongside Junmyeon in the much emptier hallways towards the school’s exit. Running into Yerim and Kyungsoo along the way, the four of you stopped by the doors leading downstairs, conversing a bit before they had to make their way down to the photography room—both of them involved with taking photos for the yearbook.

You couldn’t help but smile a bit at the way she leaned back into his chest as you talked, his arms casually hanging around her shoulders.

They were so cute.

After awhile their allotted time for conversation was up and they waved goodbye and you continued on your way home. You two resided in the same neighborhood about an eight minute walk away from school, so it was routine to walk home together almost everyday when he didn’t have tutoring on Tuesday and Thursdays.

“Leaving for the day? Must be nice.” A low voice echoed out to you and startled the two of you apart, attempting to calm the pounding of your heart you looked behind to where the loud sound had came from and frowned to see Chanyeol bounding about a yard behind you and Junmyeon, a black gym bag draped casually from his broad shoulders. 

Long gone were his baggy tee and jeans and his famous soccer uniform adorned his frame now, looking ridiculously even more tall now than he did before. He eyed the two of you with a deep stare, his lips forming a line as you eyed him with a similar hard gaze and looped your arm in Junmyeon’s. 

“Uh, y-yeah, we are. Heading to practice?” Junmyeon replied hesitantly beside you and you eyed him weirdly, wondering why he was acting so buddy buddy with him. While you on the other hand, kept your grip on his arm tight and continued to walk without glancing back.

“Yeah. The teacher wanted to talk to me after class and I still had to change before heading over to the field.”

You rolled your eyes, remembering the blush that was distinctly on Ms. Lee’s cheeks and wondered how that conversation went. Chanyeol probably got his way like he always did.

Junmyeon made a sound of acknowledgement, not really knowing what to say in return to Chanyeol’s story, and he opened his mouth after glancing at you, most likely going to utter an awkward goodbye before Chanyeol cut in before he could with—

“Are you two dating? You guys are always together.”

His tone had a certain edge to it that he didn’t previously possess and you frowned at both his nosiness and his hostility. Why did he care? So he could find another reason to make fun of you?

You were suddenly being pushed away with a gentle hand on your arm as Junmyeon explained quickly, “No, no, we’re not dating. We’re just really close friends and have lived in the same neighborhood since middle school.”

You couldn’t have agreed more, but you were a bit put off by how quick he was to deny a relationship with you, were you really that bad, you pondered with a slight pout.

Chanyeol must’ve seen the expression on your face and pounced at the chance—

“Right, who’d want to go out with Y/n.” His words were said with a snicker, having caught up to the two of you in no time and stepping around you to flash you a smirk, glancing up and down at your figure before exiting the double doors.

“Yah!” You shouted at his back, already being able to tell he was laughing at the way his shoulders shook just before the doors shut behind him with a loud noise. You were fuming at his words, fuming at the way he wanted to make you less than average.

Placing your hands on your hips, you blew air out of your mouth and paced around in a small circle, trying to burn this sudden burst of hot energy you found yourself experiencing. You wished you would’ve landed a roundhouse kick right in the square of Chanyeol’s back, but let’s be honest, you would’ve most definitely missed and given yourself an embarrassing cramp.

“Why do you guys do that?” Junmyeon asked exasperatedly, eyeing the doors Chanyeol had exited out of in a quiet curiosity you were used to seeing on his face by the long years you’ve known him. 

Your mouth dropped open at his question and pointed at the closed doors. “He obviously started it! You saw, I didn’t even say anything to him and he still managed to insult me.”

“Was it an insult?”

“How was, ‘Right, who’d want to go out with Y/n, har har’, not an insult? Sure he didn’t outright say any demeaning words or phrases, but it was well implied and you know it.” You lowered your voice when repeating the phrase, trying to mimic the deep tone of Chanyeol’s voice with some difficulty.

He titled his head to the side a bit and pursed his lips, walking ahead of you and opening the door and you had to rush to not be left behind, the heat from the sun warming up your skin. “I don’t think so, but whatever you guys want to call it, it has to stop. Just date already.” 

“Excuse me?” You all but screeched, looking at him with an expression of disbelief.

He shrugged and held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. “Hey, don’t look at me. You were the one who told me you that he was cute when you first met him.”

“That was before he opened his mouth and I found out what a jerk he is,” you mumbled, heat creeping up on your cheeks as you remembered, yes, technically once upon a time you did find Chanyeol somewhat charming and handsome.

You usually stayed away from the athletes, they created unnecessary attention and special treatment wherever they went. It wasn’t as if you had an interest in things such as football, soccer, diving, track, etc., so you didn’t understand the obsession with these athletes that drove everyone crazy at the mere sight of them.

The first time you had laid eyes on Chanyeol, he hadn’t been dressed in his uniform, looking comfortable as ever in a plain t-shirt and jeans combination, and you could admit it to yourself now, that yes, your heart did pick up its pace a bit at the sight of him, your face heating up as you made yourself look away, being stuck in a daze of just gazing at him for sometime.

It wasn’t as if you automatically had the naive assumption that everyone on earth was an angel or anything of that nature, but you thought that he was generally a good person, seeing as no one seemed to hold any grudges or contempt towards him, always greeted and greeting everyone with a wide smile and the joyous everyone reacted to his presence. 

You were fascinated by him.

Did your fascination cross some line into a crush like thing? You weren’t sure. It wasn’t as if you wanted to talk to him and enter his busy world, you were completely fine watching him from afar, your faith in humanity returning the tiniest bit by finding a good young person in this Sodom and Gomorrah that you called high school.

Until you had a personal interaction with him.

It was completely random timing, it was an ordinary day, you were already seated in your chair near the back where Ms. Lee had assigned you at the beginning of the semester. You had your book you were currently engrossed with open on your otherwise empty desk, but you had looked up when you heard someone enter. 

Chanyeol walked in with his backpack, that looked practically empty to you, comfortably slung over his shoulder and he sauntered to his seat and you froze as the two of you made eye contact for the first time. 

You expected for his eyes to skim right past you, but they didn’t. He kept your stare with his wide brown eyes for a few moments longer before he let his backpack fall to the ground by his seat and slowly sank himself in it, you not noticing his teammates and desk buddies watching the whole exchange, their grins hidden behind their hands that covered their mouths. 

You blinked and distractedly returned to your book, not remembering what part you had been on before or the context to make sense of this sentence when a pair of large feet encased in some no doubt expensive sneakers came into your view of vision and you whipped your head up to stare blankly at Chanyeol standing about a foot away from your desk, gazing down at you with a smile.

Your lips began to turn up in response to his, until of course he opened his mouth—

“Don’t you have any friends?” He asked you, his voice the usual amount of volume as it usually was but it felt like he had shouted it, the classroom silencing at his words and chuckles began echoing from your classmates all around you two. 

Your skin began to flush with the embarrassment at being laughed at, at being made fun of so openly, an unpleasant feeling settling in your stomach as you eyed the confident smirk that rested on his lips as he stared back at you expectantly. 

“Of course I do.” Was all you could think to reply, your tone slightly questioning, wondering what he meant to accomplish by asking you that question. 

“Then why are you always alone?

Your features twisted into a glare at his next question. What is wrong with him? Why had he chose this particular moment to ask you a somewhat private inquisition in front of the whole class rather than approach you when there were less students present and at a much less close proximity. 

Was what his goal? To embarrass you? If so, it was working, as much as you willed it not to.

It was a reaction you couldn’t seem to help. You were human after all, as much as you were confident in yourself, you doubted anyone enjoyed being laughed at unless they were actually trying to be funny intentionally.

Your lips formed to put your thoughts into words when the bell rang, your mouth still open as you watched him leave to return to his seat in the front of the classroom. 

You could feel the stares of the students around you and you used your hair as a shield for the rest of the time. Your eyes fixed on the clock routinely, you began quietly packing up your books and pencils and was the first one out of your seat and out the door by the time the bell rang—not noticing the way he stared at you as you sped out the room at lightning speed.

After that, it was as if he had forgotten your existence, how it had been until that one particular encounter. You had given it a discomfiting amount of thought, the only explanation to his questions was that he was in fact trying to embarrass you, the more you thought it, the more his seemingly innocent smile seemed like a sinister smirk.

It was fine for awhile, he left you alone like he’d always had, but you no longer watched him from afar, you strayed as far as possible from him and his buddies who seemed to always be in a sudden giddy mood whenever they spotted you from across the hall or cafeteria. You could feel his eyes on you, but you tried to distract yourself with engaging into a conversation with Kyungsoo as to why he should bake you a cake this weekend.

Then he somehow decided you existed again and began to make passing remarks to you in the halls.

“Nice hair, sleeping beauty!”

You had woken up late thanks to sleeping right through your alarm and had gotten ready in about eight minutes, your hair drying in an awkward way from the way you tossed in your sleep the night before and had thrown it in a ponytail that barely tamed your natural waves that you were trying your best not to feel so self conscious about.

His comment made your cheeks flame as you registered the snickers that sounded all around you at his words. You made no facial expression whatsoever as you passed each other, determined to maintain your nonchalant and confident facade that crumbled pitifully as you were sure he was out of sight.

“What’s up, nerd?”

Chanyeol appeared beside you, a good foot taller than you, but you managed to hear his words just fine in the midst of a million conversations that were happening all around you. He walked ahead of you, but not before he nudged you with his shoulder and knocked the books you held in your arms down tumbling to the floor, earning attentive stares as they stared you bent over, picking up the strewn books off the floor and back into your arms.

He didn’t even look back, that asshole. Seriously, what was his problem?

Ever since then, you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with Park Chanyeol. Not like your over-exaggerated indifference to his glances and stares, seemingly playful waves and loud greetings of your name in a sugary tone that made people stop and look at you deterred him any. 

If anything, your lack of reactions only seemed to encourage him, his voice echoed louder in the halls than before. People were starting to associate you with him, amused smirks creeping on their faces and watchful eyes with just the sight of you wandering down the halls. 

You hated the way the rest of the whole student body ate from the palm of his hand, laughing and smirking along to his words.

But all you had to do was continue to ignore him, no way was there a chance in hell that you would ever willingly approach him first.

Or so you thought.

“You’re tutoring Chanyeol?”

“I was supposed to, but I can’t. My grandparents flew in and they can only stay for tonight,” he started to explain, looking the least bit frustrated at the surprise visit but mostly excited. “My mom wants me home early to spend time with them before they continue on their journey of seeing the world or something like that, I don’t know.” He sighed, shaking his head. His expression suddenly changed and he was grinning at you broadly and gave you the notebook that was previously in his grip. “Can you just give him this notebook of notes I wrote out for him, he told me that he has last minute practice anyway so it was fine, I wrote everything very clearly and dumbed it down enough for him to understand it.”

“I doubt that, all he knows how to do is how to kick around a ball and think the world revolves around him,” you couldn’t help but mutter, an impressed expression no doubt taking place on your face as you skimmed the contents of the notebook, Junmyeon was very detailed and if Chanyeol still had no idea after studying this guide, he was an even bigger idiot than you thought.

“Y/n, please?” Junmyeon sighed in front of you, even going as far as to clutch your shoulders in his hands as he looked down at you with a pleading expression. “I know you two don’t get along, but just get his attention for one second, point to the notebook and leave it on the bleachers and leave. I would go myself, but I’m already late going home and the field is all over on the other side of the school. Please, I’m counting on you! Thank you! If I’m any later, they said they would send Minseok out to come get me! I’ll text you later!”

He left you with your mouth hanging open watching him sprint down the street and out of your sight in less than ten seconds, almost falling face first after rounding a sharp corner. The sight of him almost biffing it made you crack a grin, wondering just how secretly scary his slightly older brother was to make him run home like that.

Their parents sure made handsome boys, shame though, you knew just how much Mrs. Kim had always wanted a daughter and got stuck with two boys instead.

A grimace came on your features as you sluggishly began your journey to the field, a sigh escaping you. You thanked your luck that it wasn’t a sweltering day or else you would’ve literally turned around and forgotten about the whole thing, but since Junmyeon had seemed really anxious and pleading, you would do him this favor.

He totally owed you a meal for this.

The walk actually wasn’t too bad and passed far quicker than you anticipated, must have been all those years practicing your fast walk to perfection,  and you could hear the whistle and yelling from a distance, only becoming more clear and noisy the closer you came to the field, the rich green turf momentarily blinding you if you looked directly at it. 

Tall, lean forms in matching white jerseys and shorts ran along the field, each with their own ball, taking turns taking free shots at the goal net at the other end of the field.

Good, at least you caught him early on in the practice as to not possibly getting yelled at by the head soccer coach that had always intimidated you by his yells you could hear miles away.

Clutching the notebook tighter in your grip, you slowly made your way around the fence, coming closer to the bleachers that held many gym bags along with half filled water bottles and towels laid untidily on the seat, making you grimace at the disorder of it all.

Your hesitant arrival becoming noticed rather quickly, you watched with a feeling of impending doom as the whole team shouted Chanyeol’s name, his head shooting up from his focus on the soccer ball in front of him to you, his face changing from a stoic concentration, to shock, then to a smirk.

You eyed the whole ordeal strangely. Maybe Junmyeon had told him that you were coming to drop off the notebook in his stead and to look out for you when you arrived? You ran through your previous conversation with the man in question, but nothing came up of him telling you that Chanyeol was expecting you other than gaining his attention.

Which you did, in a surprisingly short amount of time and effort. His teammates all had big grins on their faces and were playfully shoving him around and your brows furrowed in confusion at the reaction your presence created.

Just show him the notebook and get out, Y/n, you told yourself, gritting your teeth and held up the notebook in your right hand—Chanyeol still staring intently at you, fiddling with the ball at his feet—and dropped it on the bleachers, not bothering to find his personal bag and felt relieved that you managed to complete Junmyeon’s plea with much less difficulty than you were anticipating. 

“Watch out!” He suddenly exclaimed with a yell as you caught the tail-end of his kick, his right leg swinging out in front of him with the force of it.

Eyes widening in alarm, your heart beating at an alarming rate as you realized the ball was heading straight towards you, then everything went black with a thump.

You blinked and all of a sudden you found yourself laying in an uncomfortable bed located in the nurses office. A cold and foreign object being placed gently on your temple that throbbed and hurt like a bitch made you flinch back in surprise and pain, a hiss escaping your parted lips.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” a breathy and apologetic voice sounded from beside you and once again you startled, your heart rate going from a normal range to tap dancing within the confines of your rib cage. You swung your head to the left, only to freeze as you locked gazes with Park Chanyeol, the sight of him and the onslaught of increased pain leaving you to groan, your left hand instinctively coming up to poke and prod at the area causing you so much discomfort.

“Would you stop moving, I’m trying to keep this ice pack on your head.” He spoke again, this time much less breathy and more exasperated, yet still weirdly apologetic, his own hand catching your wrist and gently tugging it back down before you could make contact. He made no move to extract his hand from yours and you eventually pulled away, choosing not to focus on how warm and secure his hand had felt holding yours.

Memories came rushing back to you the longer you stared quizzically at him, a gasp leaving your mouth as the suddenly crystal clear vision of that damned soccer ball zooming straight in your direction, a smirking Park Chanyeol being the one to kick it at you, after all. 

“You hit me with the soccer ball!” Yelling only upset your injury more but you didn’t care. You knew he didn’t like you, but kicking a soccer ball at full speed from the other end of a giant field at you crossed the line. 

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you, it was an accident, I must’ve lost my aim or something.” He rushed out the excuse, his words gaining volume as his expression changed back into what looked like guilt, furrowed brows and he gnawed at his bottom lip as he winced in conjunction as he readjusted the ice pack on your head.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, letting Chanyeol know that you didn’t believe his sorry story for a second. “Yeah, right.”

“What?”

“You totally meant to hit me, there’s no way your aim could’ve missed.” It wasn’t like you were on the actual field standing in front of the net or anything, you had been standing in front of the bleachers. 

His mouth flew open and a noise of assault exited his mouth, eyebrows shooting clear up to his hairline at your use of his own words against him, his tone becoming more desperate with each word he spoke, eyes fixed earnestly on yours. “It did! Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because you hate me, that’s why! You’ve probably had this planned for a week, but it backfired because you know I know, and that’s why you’re taking care of me—give me this.” You snatched the ice pack away from him, the movement causing your head to hurt even worse and you reapplied the ice pack to your temple with a groan and a death glare.

Chanyeol was looking at you like you had just eaten the last slice of pizza after taunting him for ten straight minutes, the hurt and betrayal clear in his expression, his dark eyes wide and mouth turned down into an obvious frown as his gaze roamed over you repeatedly.

“Why would you say that? Are you okay? Why on earth would I hate you?” You hated the way those words sounded coming from him. How would he expect you to understand something like that?

“How the hell should I know? You tell me.”

“But I don’t hate you! I love you!” He seemed especially and genuinely earnest now, even more than a few moments ago, going to grab your hand in his once again, but you retreated before he could, a look of hurt crossing his features, and then you registered his sentence.

Well, you weren’t expecting him to ever utter those words in response to yours. “...What?”

“Of course I love you, you’re my girlfriend.”

“WHAT?”

The two of you stared at each other unblinking for a few moments, before you broke it with a tired sigh and shook your head the tiniest bit to as not to upset your headache and injury even more. “Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it’s not working, so you can stop. I’m not in the mood for this right now.”

“Stop what?” He seemed confused at your words, large frame scooting closer to yours on the bed, to which you scooted back with a questioning gaze.

You stared at him in all seriousness then and answered with a sneer, “As if we would ever date.”

You had to give him credit, he was keeping his character for longer than you thought he would, and his face still held that expression of bewilderment and concern as he continued to study your face with his wide eyes, his mouth turned down at the sides in a frown.

“Y/n, this isn’t funny, okay? I already feel really bad about hurting you, I get it. You don’t need to pretend to not know who I am.” Gone was his faux concern and in came his signature eye roll that you’ve seen many times, relaxing from his alert position to lean back in his chair.

You squinted your eyes and continued to look at him weirdly, wondering if he was the one who got hit in the head and not you, what with his sudden strange behavior and all. But after a few more moments, you realized you really didn’t care, and just wanted to go home and maybe set up a doctor’s appointment to get your bruise looked at by a professional. It didn’t hurt as much as it did at first, but your head still throbbed from the collision.

“I know who you are, obviously, but we’re not dating—you know what, I don’t really care, I’m going home now, thanks for nothing... except for possibly giving me a concussion.” You huffed as you slid off the bed slowly, shrugging off Chanyeol’s helpful irksome hands as he tried to help steady you, scowling in irritation at how annoying and clingy he was being, deliberating on taking the ice pack home with you but deciding against it and placed it in the sink with a small shrug. Your house wasn’t far from here, surely you would survive the walk. Spotting your bag strewn on the floor by the entrance, you bent down to pick it up, but was beaten to it Chanyeol. He hurried to open the door for you with watchful eyes.

You were beyond annoyed but didn’t have the energy to deal with wrestling it from his grasp and opted to exit through the door, knowing by now he was going to follow.

“Are you being serious? Let me take you to the hospital, I really think you should get your head looked at.” He followed behind you like a lost puppy as predicted, and you wanted to scream. 

Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?!

You were about to yell your thoughts at him when two identical uniform clad goofs you recognized as his two buddies who he was almost never seen not by his side came bounding to the two of you, concerned expressions adorning their surprisingly—though not so surprising—handsome faces. 

Both of their gazes were intense, but the one closest to your right was even more so, the furrow of his eyebrows made your heart rate increase, you would not want this man to be upset with you. But you were the victim here!

You recognized their faces, but had never gone through the trouble to remember their names. Your eyes narrowed at the unexpected close proximity as they hounded you with questions.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

“Are you dizzy?”

“Dude, I can’t believe you actually hit her with the ball!”

At the last comment, you turned your attention back to the guilty giant on trial, giving him the meanest and hardest glare you could muster up before continuing on your way home. 

“What’s going on? Did you guys fight?” 

“Jongin, she’s sporting a head injury from being hit in the head by a flying soccer ball, genius. Of course she’s upset.”

Ah, so the less intimidating one was Jongin—wait, why did you care?

“But it’s not like you did it on purpose, have you apologized yet?”

“Of course I have! Like a hundred times, I don’t know why she’s suddenly saying that we’re not dating,” Chanyeol piped up behind you, still trailing behind you, albeit at a safe distance. You could imagine his pout in your mind without having to look back at him, convinced his friends were in on this prank he was trying his best to pull off.

Hell, they were probably silently giggling behind your back at this very moment. Mouthing their rehearsed script as to not mess anything up.

You couldn’t trust them, you needed to call Junmyeon. He would assure you this was just a stupid and juvenile attempt to further aggravate you, which reminded you to take your bag back from Chanyeol.

“That’s an indirect way of saying, ‘Let’s break up.’“ Those words were spoken with a laugh.

“Sehun!” The voice you now recognized as Jongin’s whisper-yelled from behind you as you halted in your stride and heaved a sigh. 

Enough.

“Y/n, are you really breaking up with me? I already told you it was an accident and that I’m really sorry. That’s not a reason to break up, right?” His eyes were wide when you turned around, lips parted looking very concerned and stared at you as you stepped closer, looking the exact definition of a kicked puppy that only served as more irritation for you.

“We’re not breaking up,” you huff out exasperatedly, stopping in your stride long enough to take your bag back from Chanyeol’s loose grasp, his shoulders drooping with what seemed like relief judging by the sigh that escaped him and the smile he gazed at you with. That quickly faded with your continuation of, “because we never went out in the first place. I told you, I’m not falling for this.”

Turning back around you felt around in the first pocket for your phone after realizing it wasn’t in your pocket, while they continued to discuss among themselves in quiet voices as you grasped the familiar object, not knowing how it got there but didn’t really mind as long as you held it in your hands. 

“Do you think she should go see a doctor?”

“Yeah, what if it’s amnesia? That has to be why she can’t remember your guys’ relationship!”

“I’m standing right here, and I’m lea—” Your next word cuts off as you press the home button, as your eyes land on the picture of your wallpaper, brows furrowing and heart beginning to thunder in your chest as you tried to make sense of this.

Replacing your wallpaper of one of your favorite artist’s albums was a photo of Chanyeol. He was obviously posing for a picture, eyes closed and a smile on his face, little stickers and emojis of hearts decorating the space around him, your facial features scrunching up into a grimace the longer you eyed the cursed image.

What the hell?

Were you really—the thought made you gag internally—dating Park Chanyeol?

The thought made you laugh out loud at the absurdity of it, causing the guys to look at you with wide eyes. 

Of course you weren’t dating Chanyeol, you would’ve remembered making such a stupid decision. He must’ve been the one to sneak your phone in your backpack after finding a way to change your wallpaper. 

To think you nearly fell for this stupidity.

You studied the photo and sighed, wondering if he was really narcissistic enough to take a picture of himself like this and add hearts on it himself.

Who were you kidding, of course he was.

He was willing to go this far for a stupid prank that wasn’t even working?

Feeling much lighter, you showed them your wallpaper with an unimpressed expression on your face. “Ha ha, very funny. How did you change my wallpaper you creep?”

“Creep?” Sehun couldn’t help but let out a giggle at your words, earning a glare and a slap to the arm from the boys by his side and an eye roll from you, a small huff of pain escaping you as the pain in your head from that move, and moved to enter your passcode and frowned as it told you that you had entered it incorrectly.

Typing the numbers in slowly and carefully, you sighed when it told you it was still incorrect, making Chanyeol freeze in his stride towards you as you shot him a glare, immediately jumping to the conclusion he changed it along with your wallpaper. 

“And you changed my password, too? Unlock it.” You held your phone out to him with a hard face, just wanting to go home and forget about this. 

“I didn’t do anything to your phone, Y/n.” His lips were turned down as he slowly took it from you, then smiled a bit as he gazed down at your screen—most likely at the picture of him. “I didn’t know this was your wallpaper, though. You’re mine, too.” He fished his out from his back pocket and held it out to you, that small grin still placed on his lips, and you frowned at his words, nonetheless taking his phone from his palm.

“Ugh, you damn lovebirds make me sick.” The one you now recognized as Sehun moaned, fake gagging as Jongin laughed along to his words.

Blinking at the picture of you, you couldn’t help the confusion and the bit of panic that hit you. It was a photo you had no recollection of, but you seemed ridiculously happy judging by the wide smile on your face, your face tilted to the side and braced against the palm of your hand, eyes shining brightly as you stared into the camera, bright neon pink blush effects placed on your cheeks with similar heart emojis surrounded your face.

Your breathing became a bit heavier, you continued to look at the picture, heart rate picking up in your chest. 

How did he have this picture? When did he take this? You didn’t remember yourself taking a picture like this, you’d never smiled so big like the one on the screen. 

This was obviously you, why did you have no memory of it? What was going on?

Placing your thumb on the screen of his phone so the screen wouldn’t go dark, you continued to stare lost at the picture, trying to decipher the background, your clothes, anything that could tell you when this was taken.

The bright lights behind you were hazy and unfocused, no major landmarks or buildings behind you to clue you into where the hell you were. 

But you had more pressing thoughts rather than where that picture was taken.

Was it possible the two of you were really dating? That this wasn’t all just a poorly executed endeavor to prank you? Did you really gain amnesia over being hit with the soccer ball and just didn’t remember? How else would him having a picture you didn’t remember being taken—when you could clearly see you willingly posed for it—be explained somewhat logically?

You needed to get out of here. 

“...Y/n? Shit, Y/n? Are you dizzy? You look really pale, let me take you to the hospital, I think you should really get checked out.”

Flinching and shying away from the hand he attempted to lay on your shoulder, you noted once again the flash of hurt that passed through his eyes at your actions, but it wasn’t as if you could help it. 

Your mind was racing with all these confusing thoughts, and his reaction to your reaction didn’t make anything easier for you, only adding onto it if anything, your expression worried as you tore your eyes from him to flit over the empty hallway, attempting to ignore the concerned gazed of Jongin and Sehun.

“No, I’m fine. I’d rather go by myself...” you trailed off, sluggishly handing him his phone back and exchanging it for yours, forgetting that he still hadn’t told you your passcode to unlock it, but you’d figure it out later. 

You just needed to get away from this before you lost your mind, though you felt that it was a bit too late for that, your headache coming back tenfold.

Chanyeol on the other hand, shook his head at your words, a determined expression taking hold on his face and moved with you towards the exit, along with his two lackeys from the sound of six feet following you. “No, I’m not letting you go alone, it’s not safe. You might have a head injury.”

“I have a head injury, thanks to you.” Your harsh tone was a striking contrast from his, your patience running thin from humoring this prank for so long, a weird pang of guilt hitting you as Chanyeol flinched slightly at your words, hearing the halting footsteps of the two behind you.

“Please, Y/n. I would feel better if you let me go with you.” His phrase was delivered with a desperation you just didn’t understand and that fact made you even more upset.

“I’m not going to the hospital with you, I don’t even know you or like you. I’ll just call Junmyeon when I go home and see if he can take me.” Your words were uttered in nothing less than a frustrated growl, causing the words Chanyeol was going to say to die in his throat, his pleading and anxious expression transformed into a much harsher one.

His eyebrows narrowed and his mouth formed a tight line as the two of you continued to stare at each other, neither one blinking as if willing the other one to give up first. Then a sigh escaped him, “Fine.” With that he marched ahead of you in angry steps, leaving you behind to stare at him, not wanting to examine the feeling in your chest as you watched him walk away at your words.

Sehun whizzed past your figure without a second thought, running after him. Yet for some reason Jongin hesitated by your side, noticing your slight wince and how you clutched your head, exhaling a steadying breath. “He’s just worried, you didn’t need to yell at him like that.”

That wasn’t yelling, you thought. But you didn’t voice your thoughts and said instead, “Regardless of what you guys tell me, I don’t recall ever being in any type of relationship with that jackass. I’ll be fine getting home by myself, I’m not a little kid.”

His expressions changed many times during your speech, and he seemed like he wanted to something but chose not to, opting with, “Just text us when you get home and what the doctor says, we’ll be worried about you.”

Your brows furrowed at his words and followed slowly behind him towards the exit, nodding a bit in thanks as he held the door open and looked back a few times as he stood in the same spot, like he was making sure you got home all right without being overly pushy like Chanyeol was.

His words confused you, since when were you two so close?

Your mother greeted you from the kitchen and had audibly gasped in horror when she saw the giant bruise forming on your temple, questions of what happened and are you okay all jumbled into an incoherent stream as he ushered you right back outside, stopping to let the backpack fall from your shoulders to the doorway before sitting you in the passenger seat as she called your father on speaker, telling him you were going to the hospital and that she would give him more details when she could.

Since head injuries and head traumas were taken very seriously, you were taken in to get some tests done that were more meager than they were annoying. You had wanted to get into the doctor’s office earlier, but now all you wanted to do was go to sleep and forget this whole confusing and tiring day happened, relieved once they told you they weren’t going to keep you awake, certain you didn’t have a concussion, but were puzzled at the fact you lost memories of only thing; or person, chalking it up to temporary amnesia.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, okay?” The handsome doctor Mr. Jung told you as he laid a reassuring hand on your shoulder—and for some reason, you were reminded of how you shot down Chanyeol when he tried the same thing, that same pang of guilt hitting you right in the chest. “You’re an intelligent young lady, I know this must be driving you insane, and it might feel as if you’re actually going insane.” The two of you share a small laugh and you nod, wondering if he could read minds as well.

“Just remember to rest and to not push yourself to remember too hard. Take part in hobbies you enjoy or take a nice walk outside. If you experience any pain, feel free to come back for another check up to make sure everything is doing fine. Okay? Okay, I’ll see you no sooner than two weeks I hope. Feel better!”

Did you really have amnesia? It would make sense to trust your doctors words, even your mother was surprise you didn’t ‘remember’ your relationship with Chanyeol, apparently the two of you had been dating for around six months.

You about spit out and choked on the water she had you sipping on after the two of you had gotten home a good almost three hours later, well into the night and your father was out at the store getting the prescribed painkillers your doctor had prescribed you. She even told you he had called her in a panic while you were getting your tests done, begging for an update, and she told him that you were fine but that it was maybe best if he stayed away for at least tonight. 

But your mind was stuck on the six months part.

Six months? Surely your mother wouldn’t lie to you, so then it must be true, no matter how much something inside you told you it wasn’t. You opened your mouth to ask her some questions when there was loud pounding on the front door before the person remembered they had a key and let themselves in. 

Junmyeon came barreling in, eyes locking with yours and immediately sprinted in your direction, hands coming to grasp your shoulders as he looked you over with wide eyes. “Are you okay? You remember me, right? There’s no way you’d forget about me... right?”

“Of course I remember you, you dummy. And I’m fine... mostly. Just here icing my bruise.” You took his hands off your shoulders and motioned towards the ice pack sitting on the kitchen counter.

“You’re not fine, you have amnesia.” Junmyeon told you and you rolled your eyes, but stiffened when he said, “Chanyeol called me earlier.”

Suddenly becoming very aware of your mothers presence, you tilted your head in the direction of your room, smiling tightly to her as she gazed encouragingly back at you.

“Chanyeol called me about an hour after school ended, saying he hit you in the head with a soccer ball and that you couldn’t remember him or something like that, I don’t know, he was freaking about it I couldn’t really understand him all that well on the phone, saying that you two weren’t speaking at the moment and asked how you were doing, I just updated him vaguely about five minutes ago thanks from the details I got from your mom. She already gave him an update at the hospital, but I guess he just wanted to be sure. He told me he’s called you like twenty times and you haven’t answered.” He tells you, eyeing you as you pat your back pocket at the remembrance of your phone in your back pocket, taking a seat at the edge of your bed as you followed his actions. 

“Which I guess makes sense since you don’t really remember him, but you could at least text the poor man back and tell him your doctors visit went fine and you’re home safe. You might think you’re strangers, but he really loves you.”

Your brows furrowed with his lecture, ignoring his last five words and played with your phone, sighing as you stared at the picture of Chanyeol as your wallpaper. “I don’t know the passcode, I think he changed it while I was knocked out.” You mumbled quietly into your chest as you refused to look at him.

His hand swipes it from your grasp and you watch as he types on your phone, not expecting him to be able to decipher whatever random code Chanyeol must have put to have your mouth hang wide open in shock as he hands it to you once again, your home screen in full view.

“What the hell? How did you know what it was?”

“He didn’t change it, you created this passcode. It’s his birthday.” He said simply.

“Chanyeol’s birthday?” You placed your phone back in his hands to re-enter the passcode so you could change it to something you would actually remember, opting to change your annoying wallpaper later.

“Yep.”

“I’m really dating him?” You had to clarify, even though you’ve been told you were by literally everyone, letting your phone drop onto the bed in your lap, questioning if you were really the type of person to put in your partners birthday as a passcode, please—you so hoped that wasn’t you.

“Yep.”

You groaned. “Why? Do you not remember how mean he was to me?”

“What?”

“Oh come on, those snarky comments he’d always say to me in the halls? That was not flirting, I don’t care what you say.”

“What are you talking about?” Junmyeon’s face was scrunched up in confusion at your words, and your face scrunched up at his words and were about to clarify, when he continued. “Y/n, I think you’re remembering things differently, or else you had a weird dream yesterday that’s got you confused after your accident, but Chanyeol has never said anything even remotely mean to you. He’s basically been in love with you since you two met earlier this year.”

“What?” Now it was your turn to be confused.

“Okay, let me fill you in a bit since you can’t remember for yourself how the two of you started dating.” You narrowed your eyes at him as he shuffled closer a bit, looking like the epitome of seriousness as he stared at you, then awkwardly avoided eye contact as he began to fill you in on your lost memories.

“Let me see,” he murmured with pursed lips as he thought about where to start, a slight furrow to his brow as he began, “Um, you two shared a few classes together last semester, I think—yeah, you did. Because I remember you rambling to me about this ‘cute guy’ that you shared classes with.”

You strangely did remember that, but you had thought it was only that one class, with Ms. Lee? But along with that memory, came the onslaught of his comments that would continue for the next months that angered as well as embarrassed you, so something was not adding up. 

“Wait—“ you held a hand up to pause him, squinting your eyes at him. “I know, we literally had this conversation earlier today.”

Junmyeon’s brows furrowed as he blinked at you, eyes narrowing as he studied you a bit more closely. “Y/n, we’ve barely talked at all today, and it certainly wasn’t about you and Chanyeol. I was busy tutoring, remember? Oh right—” he paused to giggle at his own joke, “the amnesia.”

You in turn did not find his mediocre attempt at a joke amusing and you noted internally that today was in fact Thursday, one of the two days of the week he tutored for some extra cash, his words seeming like they should make sense or strike a chord with your messed up memory, but you couldn’t shake this—weird—feeling. 

But Junmyeon continued on without seeing your turmoil. “Then maybe a few weeks after classes had begun, he approached me out of the blue and outright asked me if we were dating.” He started laughing at the admission and your eyes narrowed as you experienced a bit of deja vu—certain you had a conversation of this manor before. 

“And I told him there was no way in hell that would happen,” he paused to gauge your reaction and you scowled at him to which he sent you an over dramatic finger heart. “Sorry, you know I love you, but you’re not my type.”

“You’re not my type, either. Every time I look at you I still see naked Junmyeon from the seventh grade.” You retorted and shivered in response to the image you conjured up with your spoken words and giggled when he jumped back.

“Yah! You should’ve known to knock by then, especially if I told you I was getting ready to shower.”

“Who doesn’t lock the door when they’re about to shower?” You smiled as you spied the barest hint of pink gracing his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“Whatever. We’re not getting into this right now.” He glared at you, seemingly blaming you for getting off track and you shrugged and he cleared his throat and continued. “Where was I? Oh yeah, and he seemed really relieved and said thanks and left. Then you told me that you gave him your number a few days later and the rest is history.” 

You blinked at his triumphant expression, wondering why he was acting like he did this big thing, when all he really filled you in on was something you could’ve gotten from almost anybody. “You told me nothing.” Rolling your eyes, you shook your head at him and eyed the phone in your lap silently.

He shrugged from his spot across from you. “You guys like each other—no, I’m pretty sure you guys are crazy in love with each other. I don’t really know much about anything else about your relationship details, other than you guys deserve to go jail from the amount of cutesy shit you pull out in public.”

It was unsettling to have him talk about you about events that you didn’t remember and decided to distract yourself with the phone that seemed so foreign and held it in your hands.

Your eyes grew wide at the number of calls and texts you received, your lock screen keeping your messages and caller ID’s hidden and you typed in your new passcode, studying the picture on your home screen you were registering for the first time, unlike the first time when you were so fixated on changing your passcode.

Again, it was Chanyeol, but it also had you in it. The two of you looked like to be in front of a building that you didn’t recognize, wearing casual street style clothing and had your arms around each other, cheesy wide smiles on your faces as you looked at the camera.

Seeing a picture with you in it, yet having no recollection made your skin crawl a bit and wondered if you could find anymore.

You grow silent as you somehow find yourself clicking on your gallery, scrolling through what seemed like hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of you and Chanyeol. Varying locations and all different types of photos greeted your vision; ones where you two smiled at each other, faux seriousness, ones where the two of you gave each other piggyback rides, ones at the movies, the arcade, the fair, wrapped up in each others embrace, there was even one where you had your arms around him after what seemed like a pretty intense soccer match, his hair matted to his forehead with most probably was sweat.

It was definitely you in the pictures you were staring at, but it seemed like a completely different person. This person on the screen looked so happy, so content, so carefree. That wasn’t you. Your gaze shifted to Chanyeol on the screen, always by your side, with his arms wrapped securely around you. Were you the one that put that wide smile on his face? So many memories shown, but you couldn’t account for any of them.

“Look don’t worry about it too much, okay? It sucks that you got hit in the head with a soccer ball and that you got amnesia from it,” he starts to chuckle in between words and tries to calm himself once he sees just how not impressed you are with his amusement. Clearing his throat, he tries again, “But you were really happy with Chanyeol, you were always telling me that he was the love of your life and that you were going to marry him one day, it was really disgusting.” A small smile came onto his lips at his words, seemingly reminiscing in the past.

“And you don’t have to jump back in if you don’t want, okay? Just... Just text him, at least. Tell him that you’re okay, he’s really worried and I had to convince him at least a dozen times to not stalk your house. I know that hearing you’re okay from you will really help calm him.”

Remembering all the missed calls and messages you had waiting for you, your eyes widened at the majority being from Chanyeol, some from Yerim and Kyungsoo, and weirdly, Sehun and Jongin.

Eyes furrowing at the name you had Chanyeol saved under, you began reading through his numerous texts.

Chan❤️

[3:40 PM] i’m so sorry y/n i shouldn’t have left you to go home all by yourself, even if jongin did it on my behalf. I just felt so guilty and upset at the way you were reacting to me

[3:43 PM] saying that we weren’t dating and that you didn’t like me, and refusing my help like i was a stranger

[3:46 PM] and you looked so scared and confused, i’m so sorry again, it really was an accident i would never hurt you on purpose, you know that, right?

[3:47 PM] I love you so much, please be okay

[3:55 PM] Just please answer your phone or answer my texts so i know you’re okay

[4:05 PM] I called Junmyeon and he said he didn’t know anything about you going to the hospital???

[4:00 PM] Please tell me someone took you

[4:00 PM] Your mom filled me in a bit, saying it’d be best if I stayed away so I wouldn’t stress you out more.

[4:01 PM] Which is smart.

[4:02 PM] The last thing I want is to stress you out even more

[4:03 PM] Which means I should probably stop sending all these messages.

[4:05 PM] Remember to get lots of rest and stay hydrated and to get plenty of protein and nutrients, okay?

[5:30 PM] If you could, please just let me know that you’re doing okay. Please.

Your lips quirk up a bit at the absurdity of everything and nodded to appease your friend, thinking that it might be the least you could do. 

Chanyeol did seem genuinely concerned, after all. 

Seeing you nod seemed to please him and he patted your shoulder twice before standing up, telling you that he’d better go home and tell his parents and Jooyeon that you were fine.

“Jooyeon?”

“My younger sister?”

“Oh, of course.” You shook your head and he laughed at your silly question and told you to get some rest and he’d text you tomorrow, you had the Friday off as orders from the doctor so you had a long weekend to look forward to.

But you couldn’t help but frown as he closed the door softly behind him, hearing him say goodbye to your mother before he left your house.

You could’ve sworn he had an older brother, not a younger sister.

tag list: @rashidamesrur @totallynerdstuff @organic-hemp @etaerealboy @yasmini24 @imlonelysometimeshappy @rpavlxk​ 

this was so much fun to write, i didn’t expect this story to be as long as its turning out but im happy w it nonetheless! didn’t want this to be a monster lol so i am splitting it into 3 parts!!!and i hope you all like it! as always i love feedback so pls show this some love <33 if you’d like to be added to the taglist just say so down in the comments or shoot me a dm!

[marshmallowprotection]

Iris

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader, 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character

Description: Was there faith in a false paradise with a savior that spilled honey sweet lies to make you agree? There is no life to be found amongst those in a rotting flowerbed, only those clinging to the roots as the world awaits your demise. Why is he still here when others had long been plucked from the dying earth? And better yet, why are you still here after everything, clinging to his roots as if he’ll bring you life? Or is he the one clinging to you?

SE Saeran x Former Believer Reader

Word Count: 6000

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[Read On AO3]

Chapter Fourteen

Unknown didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. He frankly had no idea what was running through his mind. It was like he was back at square one again where he was a child that only knew how to scream and shout miserably.

It seemed as though that was the way that his world was always meant to be. Once, he had accepted that as it was, but now that it dug its ugly fangs into his skin, he felt sick to his stomach. It felt like his world was caving in around him all of a sudden. It was like nothing he did or said mattered.

His Savior had worked with the very person that she promised that he would be allowed to destroy, and what was worse, was that he had been subjected to all this bullshit without you by his side to help him make sense of those feelings of agony. Nothing made sense unless he was standing by your side anymore.

There had been a time before you came into his life that he could’ve done anything, said anything, and ruined things for everything and never sweated the thought. He could destroy and live how he wanted to live because that was the purpose of his existence in the first place. He was meant to get rid of everything and then it would just click. Any confusion that he had would be done if he just got done with the mission.

Except, the longer he was involved in his mission, the more confused and out of touch he came with everything that he was doing. He was committed to paradise but the longer he remained, the more this ugly feeling in the pit of his chest started to tell him that he needed to think about if the paradise even wanted him in the first place.

If he was valued to them, why were you not valued as much as he was?

Why were you dangled in front of him like you were nothing but a tool? Sure, he treated you like his assistant, but he had wanted you for a reason. You were his partner, you weren’t his tool. There was a strong difference between those two things. He knew what it felt like to be a tool and he was fine with that but the idea of you… well, you weren’t him.

You weren’t the man that he was and you never deserved to live through that shit. You were his Iris, you were something different from all of this, and he wanted you to be kept by his side so he didn’t have to think twice about why he did what he did.

Unknown was who he was because he had a job to do to make everyone pay.

If that meant he had to follow a few damn rules, that was fine, but when the promises that were made to him weren’t kept and broken over and over again, how could he trust any of them? He had been hurt by lies at the start of his life, and to think that someone who told him that they would never lie to him would go against him…

It was outright infuriating.

He had taken you from the pools of nothing and made you something because he yearned to be able to grasp at you. He knew that you were worth something from the second that he saw you, almost like a faded memory that he could reach with his fingertips. You were the one thing in his sea of black and white that made sense to him. You were the only thing that made him feel like he was alive again.

For so long and far, Unknown had lived in the darkness and made himself content with it. That all changed for him the day that he saw you for the first time. He didn’t know what it was about you or what it was that even made him stop that day and look at you. He never looked at anyone as he lived in Mint Eye.

It was a sea of nameless, shapeless, faceless people who meant nothing to him but everything to his Savior’s goals. He didn’t care about that. He cared about his revenge and what it was going to do for him in the long run. He never stopped working and he kept his eyes trained on the prize that had been dangled on a string like a carrot for years.

He wanted to see the destruction of everything that he believed hurt him.

But was that happening right now? How could it be happening right now? His Savior had not only threatened you weeks ago, but V of all people had shown up as if he was forgiven and on their side. It felt a sour taste in his mouth that made him want to retch. It was as if everything he knew was thrown to the wayside. He had been made to believe something and that something had been thrown away from him like it was trash.

The world at large was meant to be something that he understood. He was meant to understand that a long time ago and now it felt like he was a child again that didn't know everything. He didn't like to feel like he was a child. He wasn't that pathetic child anymore. He was supposed to be the strongest person. He was the strongest person in this damned place.

Right?

This is supposed to be with his Savior who had always told him. The world was supposed to be a horrible and cruel place. The only heaven that was going to make sense, in the long run, was going to be paradise. Everything else outside of that was going to have the fullest of intentions to destroy him. The world had wanted to kill him since the moment that he breathed life. That much he did know.

The outside world was supposed to be an ugly and bitter place. The moments that he thought he tasted freedom underneath that blue sky were not moments of freedom. They were only merely fleeting moments of taunting. The world had dangled the lovely things that existed on a string in front of him and he would never be able to touch it. No matter how much he wanted it. At some point, he thought he stopped caring.

He was supposed to be happy and safe in paradise. The darkness and the walls around him were supposed to conceal him from the evil that existed. Things were supposed to be in a very specific way. As it turns out, they're not like that at all. This realization made him sick to his stomach and it confused him even more about his alignment. Everything was supposed to be cut and dry but it wasn't.

The things that he thought he knew just didn't make sense anymore. No amount of begging and screaming for answers was going to get him anything that he wanted. It was like everything that he thought he was... was trash. It was like everything that he thought mattered didn't matter. It was like promises didn't mean what they meant.

How was he supposed to trust the people that mattered if they were doing things that went against everything they had ever told him?

God.

Unknown was seething. No amount of trying to figure out any of this was going to make it any better. It was something that he wasn't going to find answers for. His blood was boiling and he just needed to solve that. He'd been dragged to hell and back by that agency and yanked around by that liar and his band of idiots long enough. It was the worst week of his life and he wanted for it to all be over and everything to be as it should.

Everything was supposed to go back to the way that it was. He kept thinking that it would, but the reality that things would never be that way was starting to dawn on him. He should’ve known that things weren’t ever going to be what they were… the moment that his Savior dangled you over the top of his head like a trinket or a toy that he could never reach out and grasp.

Unknown thought that upon his return, his Savior would explain that this was all some kind of test and it was going to be over before he knew it. But, she cast him aside and demanded that he leave and go back to the world. She looked him in the eyes and sent him away like a child that spoke too much, too soon about things that the grown-ups didn’t want him to talk about or know about yet.

She ignored his demands and shouts and jeers of what happened with the wave of a hand.

Just like that, he was sent away. He wanted to know everything about why the traitor was here doing work that he was meant to do, why you weren’t waiting for him, and worse, why the woman that he trusted like a mother had seemingly ignored her promises to him all while keeping her eyes glued on his twin brother and the idiots that he belonged with. She ignored him and disregarded him as if he were trash in the bin.

Unknown had faith in his Savior but she had burned him twice in a row now. She had burned him twice and it felt like the sting of betrayal was going to wash over his skin and make him sink into a lot lower into the depths of the earth where darkness wanted to blanket him and pull him deeper into the abyss where the magma core would be rid of him once and for all if it had its way before all was said and done.

He didn’t know what to think anymore, frankly.

He tore apart the hallways and corridors the second that he left the Savior’s room, scowling and barking at anyone that got in his path, knowing that he had work to take care of and that by the time he finished, maybe he would be able to make sense of whatever the hell was going on in this place. The mess didn’t please him but it did sate the urge inside of his chest that hissed in a low rumble, “ Destroy, destroy, destroy ”.

It was the only thing he knew how to do.

Unknown knew how to dismantle everything that hurt him and he knew how to make it go away. He thought that it was enough to keep him from reliving the darkest parts of his memories, those pieces that lingered in the back of his head that only spoke of isolation and pain, memories that’d made no sense to him because they were clouded with a haze of elixir and dust.

Memories that he had no control over because they felt like they weren’t his own.

Whatever it was that bound him to this reality was starting to pull away at the seams and all he wanted at this point was to feel the relief of retribution. If he could have what he wanted, this wouldn’t be happening in the first place.

If the bomb hadn’t gone wrong, if that idiot hadn’t tried to rip him away from paradise, if people from the outside would stop meddling in his what he’d been promised, and if his word could be kept—

None of this would be happening in the first place. If things had just gone according to the plan that he intended, nothing would’ve blown out of this scale. He could’ve held control of all of the cards and the fates of those that he wanted. He could hold the strings to their bodies and use them as puppets to get what he always wanted out of this backwater reality that gave him nothing from the moment he was born.

He clawed his way to where he was today and he would be damned if anyone got in his way. It didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore, but he was going to do something about it whether his Savior liked what he was doing or not. He was promised something and he was on whatever path it took to get it. His head was just confused with how he decided to get there. His bated breath felt heavy in his lungs now.

Destruction was left in his wake with every step that he took and the more believers that got in his way, the more people that clung to the walls and tried to run away from him. He was a monster for a reason and he always had been. That was just a reality for Unknown. But, for his Savior to ignore what he had become to please her stung like betrayal. It stung like the first time he was left alone to rot in the darkness.

It felt like he was being buried alive once again.

And, for what?

Why was he being abandoned and thrown out with the trash? He never thought that he would be treated like this in a place that was meant to shelter him from everything that tormented him all the years that he had been forced to live. He never thought for a moment that things would go from a point of control to a realm where he had nothing to show for his work except the failures that she’d dangled in front of his face as if it was the price for his sins.

What did he have to show for any of this?

What, if anything, did he have to prove what it meant to be Unknown?

That thought hung over his head like a ton of bricks just waiting to squash his head and make him clatter to the ground. A part of him might have welcomed that at this point because the aching he felt in the pit of his stomach made him feel sick. He wanted to cry, to cry, to shout, to let out all of the feelings that were suppressed inside of him but he was burnt out. Nothing that he was going to do was going to mend what he felt inside his chest.

He wanted relief… he wanted something that made sense… he wanted this splitting headache to go away. The Savior was doing everything wrong and the more that he thought about it, the more he felt like he was going to lose control.

It all started because of you.

Did it start because of you?

No, it couldn’t have been because of you but you were the only one that survived the dismantling of the garden staff for a reason.

Unknown knew your face well before you knew his. That was a fact that you’d never known and he never cared to mention. He knew your face because it was etched into his memory for whatever reason. It was like a flickering spark in the back of his head, a hushed whisper that said that you’d be important to him and he could make use of you.

Something in his memory told him about a vision of someone standing at the window, watching a gardener work from afar only to be pulled away back to the darkness.

Were those memories his, though? Unknown wasn’t sure. He just knew that he knew your face and the second he caught you in the hallway, he knew that he could finally make use of you. It’d been easy. He worked past that strange memory and made his way ahead to look through your files and see why you stood out amongst the sea of nothingness that belonged to Mint Eye.

Why was it that your face stood out in the crowd?

Normally, when he looked out on the crowd of people, he would find himself staring at only the darkness that shrouded faces. But when it was you, he could see the glimmer of your lips from the darkness and that enough told him that you were worth something. Why waste someone who had potential like that? He saved you, that’s what he told himself, he saved you from being thrown out like trash with the other gardeners.

It was the moment after he proposed the idea of taking you into his Savior that she mentioned that she would be getting rid of the rest of the gardeners. There were whispers of a liar amongst the few and the loud, saying that there was a gardener that was trying to convince others to step away or try to escape. However, since nobody knew which one it was, the Savior decided that it would be wise to start over fresh and scrap what remained of the workers.

After all, paradise could always gain more help in the way of the outside world with the wave of a gentle hand. She didn’t want to waste her time on finding out who did wrong.

She just wanted to solve the problem, and frankly, Unknown understood why she was doing what she did. Yet, for him to think that you were almost wrenched away and thrown into the basement before you’d be buried in the very dirt you mended?

For some reason, even in his apathy, the thought made his stomach curdle and no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about how close you had come to the end. He had been there in his life many times, but that stupid face of yours… you would never survive if you were thrown to the dogs like that.

You were made for a paradise of bliss, not for the torture that came for those who’d needed to learn their lesson in the first place.

You were something else and he knew from the moment that he caught a glimpse of you. He wasn’t the type to care about others or get sentimental, but you were his and once he made that choice, it meant that you were always going to be his. Nobody could take that from him because you were promised to him. That was the point. You were made to be his and the idea that they’d try to take you away from him…

It’s what clouded his mind in the first place and allowed for those idiots to get under his skin. He made that mistake on his own, but he wasn’t going to do that again. He was going to make all of the idiots pay for it if he could. The bite of acid burned at the back of his throat but he kept going forward as he walked onward, following the hallway and making a mess until he got back to the room that was yours.

It was his and yours.

That was something else he was enraged about. He had no idea where you were… the Savior didn’t say a word about you, she merely told him to go back to work and that the ceremony for the liar… would be coming in due time. That’s all she said. He didn’t know what to think when he looked into her eyes because she hid many truths and lies behind them. It was a mask that Unknown had known very well since the moment he met her, but he thought that her truth was only meant for him.

Had she chosen to lie to him because of you?

There was no way she had any idea about what he’d done in his fit of anger from the elixir that you were meant to take. He was damned good at making his dosage and making something that looked like it. He needed the stuff or he would get sick, but the amount that you took in each week was such a low amount that it made no difference in taste or quality for you to drink a fake.

He even took the measure of making sure you took your fakes every week, the emerald shine gliding past your lips as he kissed you and held you down until there was nothing left of it. Those moments he knew that you were going to be covered for. He knew that he could keep you as his assistant and he wouldn’t have to worry about a damned mess in the wind later on when he got his revenge.

He didn’t think that far ahead, he just knew that he couldn’t afford for you to be blitzed out of your mind when he needed someone to help him navigate the storm. That’s what he told himself, that’s what he kept telling himself whenever he felt a twinge of doubt in the back of his head in the way of going against the will of paradise. Unknown had just been too angry to stop himself from asserting his right.

Paradise was supposed to be just as much his as it was the Savior’s, and that’s what he told himself as he lived his path to this point. But, was it his when the Savior was pushing him around like a pathetic stray? The look in her eyes hadn’t comforted him. It made his blood boil and all he could think of was the desire to destroy everything for making him who he was today.

Unknown would go to grave lengths to make sure that you weren’t gotten rid of like the rest of them and what did he have to show for it? Nothing. He had nothing and everything that he did have was being stolen away from him. His life was nearly meaningless. Nothing made sense and every part of him was pooling with dread and agony over these thoughts. He was running around in circles that didn’t have answers.

He slammed his hand against the keypad the second that he reached the doorway to his workroom, his fingers hitting the long string of code that locked him from the outside. It took him a few tries simply because he was so angry, but he managed it and the electronic code let him inside. His room was still a mess from the confrontation that had happened long ago. Nobody had picked up from the aftermath.

That twisted his stomach in knots as he thought about you again, wondering where you were and what you were doing. Where were you? His bated breath burned in his lungs as he looked around the room, a growl in the back of his throat the more that he looked around for answers. He kicked at a pile of papers, only to stop when he realized that you were strewn across the couch with tired eyes and clammy skin.

You looked like roadkill and as if someone had run you through a wringer over and over again. He felt sick looking at the bruises and scrapes that littered your skin. It looked like you tasted hellfire in your veins and nothing stopped it from happening. This was one of the things he feared most, to see you on the floor, twisted up like a ragdoll who meant nothing to the world but what good they could offer.

For some reason, that image was something that haunted him… it wasn’t something that he cared about happening to him, but it was different with you. You weren’t like the others, and as much as he wanted you to stay in paradise with him… as much as he craved to kill them all and dance on the graves with you in his arms, enough was enough.

Nothing made sense anymore but he was going to make sense of it if it was the last thing that he ever did.

The thoughts that ran through his mind weren’t pretty.

It made him sick. The anger that had been boiling over inside of him had reached a point that he couldn’t ignore anymore. It was haunting, it tasted like bile, and this was the last straw. It was the last piece of the puzzle for him. It was at that moment that he snapped and there was no way for him to go back from the path that he was thinking of at that moment. He just broke, and he felt it coil up inside of him only to snap and come undone for the last time.

Unknown ignored the urge to wake you up, no, he just flipped his chair out of the way after he stormed across the room, unlocking his computer and starting to work on what he needed to get done. This was it for him. This was why he was so angry all the time and he had to make a change if he wanted to see something happen.

His mind was all over the place but he knew what he had to do now after seeing you broken and abandoned. That was it. That was the last straw. He couldn’t take it anymore and something had to change before his head blew off of his shoulders. He just had to do something now before it was too late. It probably was too late, it likely was beyond too late, there was nothing that he could do here to—

He wanted to—

He needed to—

That was it.

This was the last straw.

His fingers moved along the stream of code faster than he knew what to do with himself, and he started the process that he had set out to create weeks ago. He just had to add a few things along the way to ensure that everything went smoothly. He just had to enter this next stream of code to get what he wanted. He just had to do this—

Unknown kept typing and typing away as his fingers burned against the keys. He was hitting and stroking them faster than he knew what he was doing, ignoring the way that his strangled breath hit his lungs, knowing that he needed to get this done now before he lost the steam that he had to work with and broke down. He needed to do this. He needed to be able to do this and make sense of this bullshit as fast as he could before it made him explode.

The strings of code attached to his screen kept flooding from the top to the bottom. He focused on that until he felt a hand brush against his shoulder. It made him recoil and whip his head to the side to come to see you. You were staring at him through bleary eyes and a confused expression that seemed to say that you weren’t all there in your head. Your hair was a mess and rings of purple laid around your eyes. It was like you were broken.

He had tried to ignore looking directly at you but now he could see it, he could see the pain in your eyes. He hissed, almost without thinking, feeling the coil beginning to burn in the back of his head with the things that he wanted to do to those that had hurt you in the first place. “Get back down,” he found himself saying. “Get back down!”

“Are you real…?” your voice was fragile, much like the body that you possessed, and you tried to reach out yet again for him. He had to resist the urge to slap your hand away with everything he had in his body. “I don’t know how much of this is real anymore… I thought I knew but I’m just lost again.”

Unknown’s jaw was tight as he sat there, unable to look away from you, knowing that no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop this feeling. “How much? How much did they make you drink while I was gone?”

Like a lost puppy, that dazed look in your eyes still felt like it hadn’t quite understood what was happening around you just yet. Your trembling hand tried to touch him but he found himself only able to hold you back by grabbing your wrist. He wanted you close but right now, he knew that if he let himself stop, he was going to break down. “I lost track… I keep seeing you in my dreams… I don’t know what I did wrong… the Savior hates me… she hates you… I don’t understand anything anymore...”

“I was in the basement for days… I’m not sure that I’m not there even now… I just… I… Unknown, tell me I’m real. Tell me you’re real. Tell me this is real… we’re real… please, just tell me that you’re here with me, I just need to hear it. I don't care how miserable or pathetic that sounds. I… I need to hear it… please… I need to hear your voice.”

“She did this to you?”

“...It was the Savior, yes.”

“Everything?”

“She wouldn’t stop… she said she was angry I was… tricking you... I don’t understand why. We’ve only been committed to paradise. You didn’t run away! You’d never run away! I don’t know why she thought— I don’t understand—I’m so—I can’t. I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… I’m so sick… I’m so tired… I want Unknown back…”

“I can’t believe this shit! I can’t believe it!”

Whatever they told you, it screwed with your head. You were speaking nonsense and circles of the days that you had suffered while he was away. He was right to think that his Savior would use you against him like this. You had been tortured as she warned him and that reality did not pass him readily. He knew that this was possible but he never wanted to believe that it would happen to him or you.

He wanted to believe it was a farce. He wanted to believe that things would never turn out that way because he was given a promise. But, it wouldn’t be the first time that someone went back on those promises, would it? It wouldn’t be the first time that someone left him in the dirt to rot after they said that they would never leave him behind to burn alive in the isolation and misery that he’d been given since he was born.

What was belief when all his faith meant nothing to anyone? What was a Savior to a believer if they broke their word? What was a man to a God if God had already forsaken him? What was a family to you if you had been burned by everyone that said that they loved you and would never leave you behind? What was anything when he had nothing to show for it? What was the point in all of the grief if he never won?

But, after all… he was the one that dumped the elixir out of the blue when she threatened him. He might have known that she was going to do that to him all along. That she was going to do this to you all along. That stung because this was supposed to be heaven and heaven was meant to be without misery or pain.

It was supposed to be a place of comfort and safety but where the hell was comfort when you looked like roadkill?

Where was paradise when you suffered?

Where was paradise when he suffered?

What was the truth?

What was his truth?

In the end, he didn’t know what the truth was. The coil that he had control over steadily snapped once more, and he found himself frozen as the computer dinged behind him. It meant that what he wanted to happen was nearly complete. He forced himself to stand up and ignored the sounds of crackling and hissing from his joints. He just yanked you by the wrist and pushed you into the bedroom.

That seemed to pull you from your daze almost instantly as you stared at him, wide eyes realizing that he was, in fact, real, and there was no dream left to be had. You opened your mouth to try to say something but he cut you off by kissing you deeply. It was the most painful kiss of his life and he refused to pull away until you were smashing against his hand to try to breathe. Unknown did not stop to think. He was running on adrenaline.

“You’re real,” your voice cracked. It was a painful sound that sounded like relief. You tried to hug him but he didn’t let you. He adjusted the jacket that lingered against your shoulders and then as you felt secure, he pulled away, slamming the door shut and locking you in the bedroom with the lock twisted tightly from the outside.

Unknown knew what he had to do now. He knew what he was going to do. He could feel his mind already made up. He was going to confront the Savior whether she liked it or not, and he was going to get you the fuck out of paradise if it was the last thing he did. He tried to stop the elixir from the burn that you faced, and he turned against what he believed in because he thought it would keep you by his side.

He had been promised anything he wanted and the Savior fucking lied to him. She lied about the liar, she lied about the traitor, and she lied to him about you. If there was truth in those lies, he was going to make them fucking tell him the truth. No matter the cost, he needed to know and he was going to find out. His blood boiled and the angry roared its ugly head.

You banged against the door but to no avail would it open. “Let me out! Let me out! I need to be with you!”

His voice still sounded nothing like his. “Stay here and don’t fucking move a muscle. I can’t trust any of them! I can’t believe she did this to you! I can’t believe she did this to me! This is a fucking nightmare, Iris— this is a fucking nightmare! I’m living in a fucking nightmare! She promised me my paradise—us, our paradise—and if I can’t even trust my Savior with you, who the fuck am I supposed to trust anymore? She’s choosing them over us! She’s choosing them! I refuse to be the one left behind!”

“Unknown—”

He felt those dangerous words flooding to the surface before he could stop them. “I refuse to let her destroy you as she destroyed me! I’ll rip them rip from fucking limb before I let that happen! Never again! Never again! Never again! Never again! Stay in that fucking room until it’s safe again!”

“Come back! Unknown, come back! Please, don’t leave me again! I can’t do this! We’re supposed to do everything together side by side! I can’t be alone! I promised that we would do this together and you— you can’t! Please! Please, come back! I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’ll work hard and I’ll make it right! I don’t care what happened, I just want us to be where we were! Please, please come back!”

No matter how much you screamed, cried, or begged for Unknown to turn around and come back, he wouldn’t. Unknown made sure that your files were erased from the database so that if things went wrong, nobody would ever know what you did or who you were. He was preparing himself for the worst as he decided what he was going to do today. He knew that no matter what happened, it was the end.

Something was going to end today and there was no turning back.

He swiped the keyboard clean of what he’d done and headed for the door, bathing himself in the light of the sunshine that he had long been denied. Unknown was going to give you that sunshine, no matter what the fuck he had to do or break to make it happen. This was his choice, and the cry you made was only spurning him to fight

[shini--chan]

Yandere England HCs

I remember somewhere around here in my inbox somebody requested yandere England hcs. If I recall correctly, there handle was @hehehhewaitwhat  Sadly, the ask has vanished from the box, but I still recall receiving it! So here you go:  

Yandere England

Arthur would be one of the yanderes that would play it cool at first. No cool isn’t the right word – it is cold. He would believe in keeping a tight control on his emotions, least they take over him and he is no longer his own master. All in all, a very good idea, it is just the matter of execution that matters – Arthur would be doing this in a very unhealthy way. He’d bottle up his feeling on a large part, refusing to analysis them and locate the source, not to mention expressing his emotions in healthy ways. And here would be where the yandere tendencies start to blossom.

It would result in all his ignored and unacknowledged feelings for you start to seep through in the most eery ways, ways that would be borderline toxic. What could have potentially been love would become twisted and wrapped, some of Arthur’s other issues just amplifying this. In the end, he wouldn’t be able to prevent himself from either manipulating you into his web, or outright kidnapping you.

The insistent burning in his veins never ceased, rather it grew even worse when you weren’t close to him. It was magma rolling in his veins, eradicating even more of his rational thoughts the longer he attempted to ignore it.

In an attempt to remedy it, Arthur turned the water in the shower to ice-cold. A mistake on his part. It had gave a sharp contrast and thus made the concoction of emotions stand out all the sharper. It made him wonder if the only cure would be to give into them and let nature take its course.

Yet that was something he couldn’t allow. Emotions were the leftovers of a primordial past – notions that didn’t follow any logic or decency. If they weren’t controlled, then they would control.

He turned his face up to the stream of water, as if it could wash away all the sinful thoughts about you that had begun to haunt him. That was a tragedy on its own – he never could be rid of you. You would come to haunt his dreams uninvited, invade his thoughts unwelcomed. He remembered when his interest in you had just been a mere sapling. Now it was a field of weeds, a contagion that was completely out of his control and still demanded his attention.

He shouldn’t have ignored his love when it had started to sprout, for now it had turned into obsession.

Of course, he’ll try the former way first before anything else – he would know that you wouldn’t really appreciate it if he abducted you. England would turn the charm on and boy, can he be charming when he wants to be. It wouldn’t be in grand, over the top gestures – that is for amateurs. It would come in small, effective gestures that would become bigger over time – freshly picked flowers from his garden, biscuits he made himself and then he would go over to bigger presents like a dinner in a fancy restaurant. His aim would be to have you completely smittened before he would start to cut you off from the rest of the world and to mould you into what constitutes for a perfect person.

It was a fine day; the sun painting the sky in a kaleidoscope of warm colours and caused the green of the hills to become so saturated. Or maybe it was because you were in love that the world was all the more vivid, that the air smelled sweeter and the arm that was curled around your waist felt so right.

Arthur was being charming, a good-natured smile making his sharp features softer. He had taken you out to dinner tonight, a brief affair at a rustic inn out in a no-name little village. Yet the simple meal had been the best you had had in a long time.

So, with a full stomach in satisfaction in your heart, Arthur was accompanying you back home on this summer’s evening.

“My dear, that was a very wonderful day with you”, he remarked warmly, echoing your thoughts.

“Yes, it was. You couldn’t have picked a better place to go out. I would like to do such a thing again.”

He chuckled lowly at your affirmation. “Oh, love. I wouldn’t mind doing that every day with you for the rest of our lives.”

Under other circumstances, if you weren’t so smittened with him, you would realise that what he had said couldn’t be right. Good days can’t be copy-pasted on the future forever, happiness can’t be played constantly on repeat. It has to be experienced, the cause ever varied and reinvented so that it doesn’t become dull.

Yet you weren’t not in love with him. You were neither alarmed by the clinginess the statement implied or by how sappy it was. And that was exactly what Arthur wanted.

To be clear, he wouldn’t want a weak, stupid lover. There would be nothing more off-putting to him than a whiny, spineless idiot who can’t do anything on their own. In that way, you could say he’d have high standards. He’d want somebody who is a challenge, you’d be tactful in their conduct and somebody who’d have wit to match his. Arthur has a sharp tongue and even with you he wouldn’t shy away from dispensing chidings and sharp remarks. He’d also demand you have a spine of steel, that you wouldn’t simply cave in the face of danger. If you wouldn’t have these qualities, then you’d have to adopt them, and he would be never uncompromising about that.

Ironically, while he would manipulate you into having these qualities, he wouldn’t tolerate you having them to the extent would make your relationship impossible. He wouldn’t want to be taken care of in the terms of you being the breadwinner, doing business and all that. He would want to fulfil that roles for you, whether you’re a woman or a man. It would be a chronic need to provide for you, to be the dominate one in the relationship.

You sighed for the untempt time this afternoon. No matter how much you read the page of the book, the meaning of the passages eluded you. At this point, you only had a gist of what was going on and it frustrated you to no end.

Carefully, you placed a bookmark on the page that you had been busy with and closed the hard-cover novel quietly. You knew all to well that one of the easiest ways to get Arthur in a hissy fit was to maltreat one of his books. He claimed that books had to be treated with respect, because somebody had once put a lot of effort and time into writing it. A disrespect to the book was therefore an indirect disrespect to the author.

You leaned back in your chair and stared up at the decorations of the room. Arthur of course had to live in a mansion that seemingly was a time capsule for the age of Empire. Talk about being attracted to the glorious old days.

Carding your fingers through your hair, you cursed yourself. When did you get the brilliant idea to study the classics? Oh yes, it was when Arthur mentioned the benefits of higher literature while the two you had been cleaning. He had claimed that the complex characters made the reader better at socializing, at understanding that even the most despicable characters had softer sides. That it made a person for eloquent and at understanding the nuances of reality.

And of course, since you were constantly seeking to improve yourself, you had asked him if you could peruse his library. Arthur had whole-heartedly encouraged you and you knew that he would be extremely disappointed if you abandoned this chance to grow.

So, you opened the book again and reassumed the torture.

The need for dominance would be a manifestation for Arthur’s addiction to be in control. He is sort of the opinion that power is best left in his hands, and that nobody except him can properly wield it. And if he’d have the feeling that his control over would be slipping, then he would lash out. The most physical he’d get with his punishments would be caning. All in all, punishments would always be along the lines of what detention looked like in the old public schools during the Empire.

He would also have a certain image of what intelligent would look like. That would mean restrictions in your activities: no comics, no cartoons, no fizzy drinks, god have mercy on you is you have an addiction because he would have none, he says which parties you’re allowed to go to (that would be more in the beginning of the relationship), no sleeping in, no being lazy. And if you wouldn’t conform, then he’d manipulate you into doing so.

Arthur is a man who would quickly become jealous. He’d be scared if you’d be plotting to leave him, or worse, rope other’s in into helping you plunge a knife in his back. So, he would be quick to convincing you to cut of contact with people that he wouldn’t like. This would be a win-win situation for him because the less social contact you’d have beside him, the deeper your bond with him would become. Further on in your relationship, he’d convince you to rely solely on him and that other people wouldn’t be trustworthy. That he’d be the only person that would ever truly understand you, that would have your best interests at heart, that would help you grow into the best person you could be. That the world is a shit place and that you should be grateful that he is there to shield you from it. In order to encourage that last one, he would allow you to watch the news, extensively.

If wooing you into being with him wouldn’t work, then he would coerce you into a relationship. However, he wouldn’t do anything drastic such as threatening your loved ones, rather the threats would be hidden, or he would present himself as the best option of getting you out a ditch (such as financial issues). He’d try his best to construct the situation so that you would be inclined to trick yourself into thinking you wanted it. Kidnapping would be a last resort for him.

[pterodactylterrace]

Title: I’ll Catch You (sequel to Falling)

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Length: 1600+ words

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, awkwardness, barely proofread. 

Another day, another round of fasting cardio. I have to admit, I've been preferring the hiking trails lately. Probably because of the woman I'd met over a month ago. The way she looked at me... like a caged animal. Something wasn't right. Something was amiss with that mystery woman.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning some valiant white knight rescue of a woman I've met once. Ok, I've thought about it once or twice. However, I was just wanting to make sure she was alright. In all meanings of the word. I'd noticed her flinch. The way she wouldn't let me near her, even though she clearly needed help. Someone's hurt her, and I've been making myself sick over it since I let her leave.

What if something happened when she got back? I had no way of knowing if she had a safe place to return to. Had she gone back to her abuser and suffered more because of me? I can't help feeling guilty. I just wanted to see her one more time, to make sure she was alright.

So, that brings us back to today. To the same hiking trail I'd literally run into her before. It was a long shot, but I kept coming back just in case she would be here again. Even if she did come back, it was foolish to think she would return at the same time of day again. Not after what happened last time.

The good thing about being here so early, however, was being able to let Kal off his lead to snuffle around the trail and flounce about to his heart's content while I jogged. Not many other people were here at this hour, so no one to pull his attention away and have him running off to steal cuddles.

He took off ahead as we neared the stream, no doubt wanting a chance to splash around before we moved on. I slowed to a stop as I reached the small embankment, peering down as my loyal companion rolled around the mud and splashed in the water. Well, that's another bath for him, then.

"Come on, pig. You're muddy enough." I chided, carefully sliding down the slick hill to reach him. He was all to happy to see me, bounding right up and flopping around me in a dance of pure glee, flinging the muck about as he went. Great, now we're both covered in mud.  "Kal, come on." I groaned, reaching out for his collar only to have him dash away to the water again.

"Kal!" I repeated, more firmly this time, giving him a commanding look. "That's enough, it's time to go." Why wasn't he listening today? Sure, he can be a bit stubborn, but he's never outright ignored me before. I stopped short of going to fetch him myself and giving him a stern lecture about listening when I heard a sound behind me.

Like magic, there she was, accelerating down the slippery hill I'd just descended not two minutes before, but judging from her less than pleased yelps of surprise, she wasn't doing it on purpose. I acted before I even had time to think, moving myself in front of her and letting her slam into my chest, effectively stopping her downhill tumble.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She gasped, trying to regain her footing. All she managed to do, however was make me to lose my balance and flop onto my backside into the muck, her landing on me again only a moment later.

"Gravity seems to have it out for us." I joked, gently helping her to her knees, finally looking back into her eyes. I wasn't imagining things. It really was her. She still looked so scared. I don't know who did this to her, but I hate them. No one should put that look in someone's eye.

"I- I'm sorry! I heard someone yelling so I went to see what it was and I just slipped." She explained quickly, trying again to stand, her foot shooting out from beneath her and sending her toppling right back on top of me.

"Shit! Sorry!" She gasped, still wiggling against me in a vain to get back up.

"It's alright." I groaned, shifting to remove her hipbone from my groin. Her last topple had a less than stellar landing spot. At least my nuts kept her hip from getting hurt. "Let's just hold still for a minute." I suggested, realization slowly dawning over her face.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered again, freezing on top of me, out of fear or consideration, I'm not quite sure.

"Accident's happen." I sighed, slowly moving up to my elbows, lifting her frame right along with me. "Good to see you're alright."

"I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nope, I'm fine." I assured, helping her to her feet before standing myself, Kal happily padding his way over to us, snuffling eagerly at her hand. No doubt looking for treats, that piggy.

"Oh, hello." She greeted, stroking his head gently. "Are you what he was fussing about?"

"Yes, he decided he wanted to play in the mud. Guess we all ended up playing in it today." I joked, taking my chance to slip the lead back onto his collar.

"Oh, silly dog." She chided, scratching behind his ear in a way that had him craning his neck and falling over.

"Would you... like to walk with us back to the start of the trail?" I offered, my mouth acting before my brain had time to think. Something about seeing her being so sweet to someone who meant so much to me just made my brain short circuit.  

"Sure." She agreed, never taking her eyes off Kal. Quick question. Is it normal to be jealous of your dog? I am most certainly jealous of my dog right now. I really wish she would look at me like that. So relaxed and calm and... so happy.

"Kal. go on." I instructed, nodding up the mud covered hill. He bounded up it without even a second thought, dragging the leash through the mud as he went. Great. I trotted up next, looking back down to see our mystery companion staring dumbstruck at the hill. "Need some help?" I offered, kneeling down to offer a hand.

I barely heard her soft 'thank you' as I pulled her up. Such a frail looking thing. She seemed to do everything she could to shrink away and make herself smaller. Why would anyone want to do this to her?

I let her hold Kal's lead as we walked back to the trail head, my stupid brain desperately trying to come up with something to say. I should ask her to get coffee after. There's a dog friendly place not far away, and Kal seems to be the ticket to gaining her attention. But we're all three covered in filth, no way she'd go for that right now. I could ask her to meet up later... but she probably won't show up then. Especially if I can't come up with something to say. Waiting until I bumped into her on the trail again wasn't an option, either. Last time it had taken over a month to see her again.

Do I talk about Kal? That would probably be a good idea. Do I just start babbling, or do I wait for her to say something first? No, idiot, she's not going to say anything first. She hasn't said a word the entire time we've been walking. So how do I start talking? Tell her his name, my name, my address, phone number and give her my passport? That's a touch over the top. Get it together, Cavill! The trail head is less than a five minute walk from here. Just say something.

"I seem to like you." I blurted out, my eyes widening in horror when I realized what I had said. "I mean he... Kal. He really likes you. I mean, so do I, you're a very attractive woman, but you just seem to like him more, and he really likes you too." I babbled, putting my foot deeper and deeper into my mouth as I went along. I really need to put "learn to talk to pretty girls" on my to do list. Right after I finish my latest warhammer figurine. Or never. Never is a much less intimidating timeline.

It's so much easier when they just throw themselves at me. I don't have to pretend I'm not a giant nerd and a bumbling dork when they lead the conversation. Wait, are nerds still attractive right now? That was a thing, right? I could show her my custom PC. If she likes nerds, she'll definitely like that. Wait, no, that's creepy.

"Are you ok?" Her voice stopped my inner monologue.

"Yes, I'm fine. How are you?" I replied entirely too quickly, overly eager to have her continue talking. Her voice was so soft and sweet.

"You're... acting strange." She mumbled, her body regaining it's earlier stiffness, like a rabbit ready to bolt at any second. Great, my blundering just ruined everything.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just..." I stopped, forcing myself to take a breath. Man up, Cavill. It's now or never. "Would you like to meet up again tomorrow for a walk?"

"Umm... I don't know." She mumbled, absently stroking Kal's head again. There's my opening.

"I can bring Kal along. I'll give him a bath first. Myself as well. Actually. I plan on taking a shower, I don't normally take baths. Showers are just easier. Baths are nice for relaxing but not for getting clean." Right back to my embarrassing rambling.

"That... that would be nice." How did that just work? Perhaps she finds awkward rambling endearing? Or it made me less intimidating. No one is intimidated by a moron. I have got to figure out how to talk to girls, and fast. I have what I'm calling a date tomorrow.

[littlemindblabbles]

On-screen, Off-screen

Pairing: Jun x Y/N

Summary: You’re given the once-in-a-lifetime opportuinity to act in a music video alongside your idol, Wen Junhui. But is he really as nice in real life as he is on screen?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (final)

Jun seemed determined not to bring up any indication that the morning’s events even took place. He continued acting like your costar/friend, making jokes with you but still going through the afternoon scenes with you. Meanwhile, it was torturing you. You didn’t know how to look at him without thinking of his lips on yours, as well as the caring, almost loving, look he gave you during his ‘confession’. But as all good things come to an end, tomorrow was the last day of filming and after that, you’ll never have to see Jun in real life again. Technically, this should work out in your favour, your one-sided feelings for him would turn back into just an infatuation, and you don’t have to worry about him breaking your heart by rejecting you. 

You continued about your day mostly on autopilot, not wanting to let out too many emotions lest Jun finds out your true feelings towards him. He seemed to notice though, asking you if you were alright throughout the day. 

“Jun, really I’m fine. Please just go do your own things, I’m sure you’re really busy. I’ll see you tomorrow, last day whoo!” Ugh, even you could tell your enthusiasm was fake as hell. Jun obviously didn’t seem convinced.

“Well okay, even though I really don’t believe you. But hey, if this was about this morning’s stuff. Sorry, I didn’t say anything about it but I thought it would lessen the awkwardness. But don’t take anything too seriously, it was all for show don’t worry. Forget it ever happened.” The more Jun talked, the more he was breaking your heart into millions of pieces. As much as you expected it, the outright rejection even before you confessed hurt so freaking much. 

Struggling to hold back your tears, you gave a small smile nodded, and ran out the door, ignoring the calls of Jun from behind you.

-

You couldn’t help it, you decided to close off your emotions while going to work the next day. You didn’t want to admit it, but you spent a large majority of your evening the previous day crying your heart out. It was stupid, falling for someone you knew you would never have a chance with, but you let yourself have a night of self-pity and giving into your emotions.

However, Jun, being ever observant, noticed the drastic change in your behaviour. The two of you usually spent your breaks together, joking with the stylists or going through scenes, but when you tried to excuse yourself to go to your private dressing room for the third time today, he caught your arm at the last minute and pulled you back, frowning.

“Don’t even try to bullshit me anymore Y/N. I am really hurt you think I’m an idiot. What is going on? Why are you acting like this?” You pulled your arm away from his hand, ignoring the feeling you got while he was touching you. You gave a nervous laugh which you hope was convincing as your mind raced through different excuses to see which was the most believable.

“I’m not trying to test your stupidity, Jun. I really am okay, I guess I’m currently feeling a bit weird because you know, it’s our last day and since it’s my first ever acting role, I’m gonna miss it. Didn’t think I’d get attached this quickly but I did.” You sigh out, only half lying. You were gonna miss coming to set every day, and of course, working with everyone here. 

Fortunately, Jun seemed to believe you. He smiles and pats your head as though you were a child. You inwardly cringed, nothing hurts more than your crush thinking of you as a little sister or something. But your director saved you from making any more (very awkward) conversation by calling the both of you to the next scene. 

“And with that, thank you, everybody, it’s a wrap!” Everyone around you started cheering, some of the staff even brought out a small cake for Jun and you. You couldn’t help but shed a few tears, you couldn’t believe your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was coming to an end. Jun noticed you crying and placed an arm around you, letting you hide your face in his chest. The staff all aww-ed at the sight of the both of you, and you continued hiding your face so that everyone couldn’t see your blushing face. 

“Okay, let’s all head to eat dinner together, one last time, and here’s the best part: it’s on me!” Yelled the director and everyone began to celebrate. One by one they made their way out of the room, indistinct chatter getting louder. You called out just as the last few people were leaving, Jun included. 

“Hey, not trying to be a party pooper but you guys go ahead. I had a bad night and I’m really tired. I’ll head home to catch up on sleep. Don’t worry I’ll meet you guys another time. Have fun!” You gave a small smile and gestured at them to leave. Jun looked like he was about to object and say something, but studied your face for a second then decided not to and left. 

Once you no longer heard the sound of footsteps, you finally let out all the emotions which had been plaguing you for the entire day. This would be the last time you’ll ever be here, and you wanted to put aside your feelings together with the whole experience. Just give me this moment to be weak, I’ll never cry over him after. 

“Y/N?” A voice cuts through your mini sobbing party. You panic, trying to wipe your tears dry and come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you were having a breakdown in the middle of the set. To your absolute horror, the voice belonged to Jun. 

Unable to take it anymore, you started crying again. However, this time you were crying so hard it was really ugly sobs and heaving because you were losing the ability to breathe properly. 

“Y/N please, don’t cry. What happened, I promise I’ll help you fix it. Everything would be okay. I know this feeling is sad, but I’m sure you’ll have more opportunities in the future, and it’s not like you can’t meet these people again. Please stop crying, it hurts me so much to see you like this.” Jun was hugging you, there was no denying the arms around your chest. He was running his hands up and down your back, trying to soothe you and you swear he just kissed your hair. 

Instead of helping you, you broke down into even harder crying. How? How does he act so well? From his actions, you desperately want to think that Jun cares, but your brain tells you not to ignore reality. Jun really seems concerned now, and since you kind of want to remain friends with him, you try your best to calm yourself down. 

“Uh. sorry about that. I’m sorry you had to see me like this. I thought you went for dinner?” You attempted to give a smile, but in all your tears, it was pathetic at best. Jun looked even more pained and hugged you tighter. Ignoring the ache in your heart, you continued. “You know me, just being all emotional. I mean you probably are used to it, but it’s all so new to me. And I may not get another opportunity like this. I don’t think I’m that lucky.” 

“Y/N please, I know that isn’t the main reason as to why you’re crying as though someone broke your heart.” You grimaced, how could he guess so easily and see right through you? Jun immediately noted your reaction and continued, “So I’m correct, someone did break your heart. Who is it? Is it one of the people who worked with us? I swear I’ll kill him.”

“Stop it!” You scream, finally having enough. Jun looks shocked and takes a small step away from you, his arms leaving your shoulders where he was rubbing them comfortingly. “How cruel can you be? You’re an amazing actor I know, but isn’t it a bit too mean? To play with my feelings like this? If this is how you wanna treat me then I’d rather you treat me with that cold indifference you had on the first day we met. At least then I’d know my feeling for you are completely one-sided and stupid. At least let me move on alright since I won’t ever see you again.” Now it’s Jun’s turn to look confused. He takes another step towards you and uses his hand to lift your face which was looking at the floor.

“Wait, did you just confess to me? You like me too? I thought I was the crazy one for feeling that way for you, how could anyone like me after I treated them like shit, especially on the first day they meet their idol. I meant everything I said yesterday during filming. Seeing you run off to cry during the spinning affected me a lot more than I thought it would. So I decided to let down my barriers for once and help you out. From there, falling for you was so natural, but I felt like an idiot for saying not to get any ideas, so I tried to brush off my confession. I didn’t want you to feel burdened by my words and feelings, so I thought pretending nothing happened would be the best course of action. Apparently, I was very wrong though.” Towards the end of his speech, Jun’s smile slowly got bigger as he tugged you closer and closer towards him, his arms around your waist. 

“So can we do this now for real?” He shyly asks before pecking you softly on your lips. 

Your face turns crimson red and you hug him tighter, burying your face into his chest. Jun laughs adorably and the vibrations of his chest cause you to look back up at him. Then he scratches the back of his neck and Wen Junhui looks nervous?

“You know, the reason why I keep my life private, was because I didn’t want the media to find out all these embarrassing things about me. Like how I’ve never actually dated anyone before and therefore I am completely lost in the relationship department.” He grins sheepishly in the end, causing your entire heart to explode. 

The both of you agree to take things slow, it’s not like you had that much experience either. For starters, you were gonna go for the team dinner tonight. As a couple. (In secret of course) 

Jun stretches his arms out, indicating to the door. However, the moment you grabbed it, he pulls you back into the warmest hug ever. The both of you stay like that for a long time, enjoying how it felt to be in each other’s arms for real finally. 

He then kisses you lightly, blushing hard. Before you could even react, he says “Race you!” and runs out of the door. Smiling, you started running to keep up with him.

- 

It’s been a month since you got together, but today standing next to him your nerves were still spiraling out of control. Why? Because you were currently holding on to your boyfriend’s arm on the red carpet premiere of said boyfriend’s new movie. It was your first-ever red carpet event and furthermore, it was the first public appearance of both of you together. Sensing your nervousness, Jun placed his arms over yours and gave you a reassuring smile. 

“Jun-ssi, can you tell us about the beautiful lady on your arm tonight? If I am not mistaken, she was your co-star from the recent MV you filmed?” Jun smiled at the interviewer, that charismatic smile that made you fall in love with him through a screen all those years ago. You still couldn’t believe the fact that you were looking at it in real life really. Jun looked at you again before answering, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Yes, this is Y/N, she’s so amazingly talented and I had no choice but to fall for her while I was filming. She makes me want to be a better person every day.” 

Would the ground just swallow you up, you couldn’t handle what Jun was saying to millions of people worldwide. The interviewer actually looks surprised at his response, you’re sure he was expecting Jun to deflect the question as usual. He quickly regains his composure, and actually turns to you. 

“Hi Miss Y/N, pleasure to meet you this evening, now I’m sure everyone is dying to know more about you. Would you like to say a few words?” After a reassuring squeeze from your boyfriend, you started out shakily before gaining more confidence. 

“Uh, hi everyone, I’m Y/N. I just started acting with the MV I shot with Jun butttt, I do have a mini web series coming up next month on Viu and many more exciting projects lined up! Hope you’ll all anticipate them and also please support Jun’s new movie today!” You smiled at the end and bowed towards the camera. 

Once you stood up again, Jun took you by surprise, kissing you sweetly at the side of your head and grins. 

“That’s my girl.”

THE END

Note: Aaaaaargh, finally done with this mini series! This was a really loooong chapter but I really had to get their story out! Please check out my other fics here :)

[dramarising-replacement]

G1 Hoarder Revamp and the Mountain of Salt

Can we all just acknowledge how much of a total fuck up the new G1 ping system is? I feel bad because they obviously went through so much work and beta testing for this system but it’s absolutely garbage in practice. This isn’t meant as a huge roast (even though I do think the creators could do with getting knocked down a few pegs given how poorly they’ve treated people through this entire process, oops) but I hope they at least see this and see things that they can work on. Obviously, going to them and sharing this stuff in person isn’t possible since L from arcane is notorious for gossiping and overall not super trustworthy, so anon route we go. I’ll give credit where credit is due: they definitely tried to go on the right path and the coding is good in theory. The big issue here is that they tried to fix something that was not great but worked with something that is not great and barely works. Sure there are some good things about the new ping system: if it’s not busy it’s not longer than six or seven minutes to do all of it for a few dragons, which, compared to the previous method? Pretty good timing. Helps automatically tag some colorgroups without having people confused about if their dragon counts or not, and uh... probably something else. The cons far outweigh the pros though: -sheet can only be used one at a time: terrible in theory, terrible in practice, there’s no queue system either so you’re not even guaranteed to go next even if you’ve been waiting ages. This becomes a nightmare around any holiday, as we’ve seen around notn, since everyone flocks to the ping generator and then quickly abandons after seeing the mess there. This should have been something that they found a way to work with from the start, especially since the previous spreadsheet, despite how long it took to sift through if you were actually assed to do all the specifics, could still be used by multiple people. -userface issues: going into the spreadsheet and it may all just be blank, does this mean someone’s using it? Someone isn’t? If you go ahead and assume not you’re going to get warned that you overrode someone since they get the ID to your dragon, if you don’t assume then you end up waiting for ages like an idiot and someone else swoops up the opportunity. The loading bar on the side doesn’t help give that info either since it constantly reloads due to the poorly planned code. Where users have their cells selected also doesn’t help since that isn’t always accurate. There are many times where the loading bar isn’t seen going, there isn’t any visible text on the screen, no comment in the box, but it’s still in use. This isn’t viable for anyone, especially not people who don’t fully understand how the system works. If you’re going to make it for only one person’s use at a time, you need to ensure it’s easier to see what’s going on for everyone. -laggy as all get out: sure, I don’t have to go through 15 pages of different types of pings on the old G1 pinglist and shovel through all the duplicates and specifics list people, but having more than 13 dragons or even doing a bigger lair sale (or even just anything during notn) means you get to wait for the program to chug away for ages (as well as the easy chance for someone to just cut in halfway through a load and have you start all over again or wait) and hope that the three people behind you don’t get impatient or angry as you have to do three separate input sessions rather than massing them all together as you could with the previous spreadsheet. -poorly designed aesthetically: maybe this may sound petty to some, but the design of the system is pretty terrible in terms of layout and color choice. This isn’t to say it’s just ugly though; after speaking about it with people who aren’t neurotypical, have disordered thinking processes, and/or have generalized issues reading things (autism spectrum, dyslexia, semi-visually impaired, etc.) it’s pretty clear that the entire thing is not accessible whatsoever for anyone who can’t immediately decipher what anything is. Black text on bright red is not a good thing for most people beyond old MySpace edgies. If you, as someone without reading or comprehension difficulties, are having a difficult time focusing on it: maybe consider how difficult it’d be for anyone else. The way the rules or tutorial section is laid out also does not help in terms of accessibility! It’s clunky and hard to read, does not flow well, and doesn’t explain as thoroughly as you may think. If you’re someone who uses coded spreadsheets often? Yeah sure, it might be understood. If you’re not? Welp. Good luck kiddo. -very poor user help: this is on the mods or creators more than the spreadsheet itself. If someone has a problem, the first thing you should do is talk with them to find the difficulty and tackle it from there. I’ve seen, multiple times now, where either N (plague) or L (arcane) straight up tell people that they can’t help them and that they should just read the guide on the front page. Like sure, they read them, but something is tricky for them and they’re asking for help. They can read the rules and guide again but without outside help, guess what? Not gonna help them. If you just keep linking them the forum or telling them to read the first page it won’t actually help anyone! One of your jobs as the creators here is to help the community that you made it for, not just parrot that they need to read. Be better. Add that to a system which is not forgiving of any mistakes whatsoever and it becomes a terrible little cocktail. Also does not help that, despite their sugar attitude about having people test it in discord servers, the creators l and r/p (both arcane) don’t actually help people who need help using it. -wait times/queue: this ties in to an earlier point, but there’s no way to organize who goes next. Sure, it might sound strange, but when you have to wait ages to get access despite you being there ahead of anon llama/drama/dingdong/animal because they can all hop in ahead of you, it becomes frustrating. People don’t always type in that itty bitty box to say what they’re doing, and people easily erase it or write over it, or they just outright ignore it. Obviously not everyone is going to do that, but it’s way too easy for people who are greedy/entitled to step over those who are being polite and patient. -no quick ping options this is also kind of minor, but at least with the old spreadsheet you could just click in and say “okay, I just want to ping XXY general for this because I have a quick sale.” Guess what: nah. You have to go through the entire chugging process and queue and everything else just to get that snippet of information on who to ping. What once took maybe five clicks is now five minutes to thirty depending on how many people are using it. Wanna quick check if a dragon with XYZ colours you hatched is one that someone wants specifically? Nah, fuck you. You have to input all the data and wait instead of just doing what was once a super easy quick search. There is so much other shit wrong with this system and I’m honestly surprised N (plague) allowed them to do this. Sure, the old pinglist could have done with some updating, but that should have been done in the form of clearing redundant double pings, maybe a way to sort through specifics like ‘male only’ and mass copy names there. Quality of life things, not this just... total mess. I understand that L and R/P got it into their heads that they needed to fix it and that they wanted to take over the entire system themselves, but they should have kept their pride out of it for once. The sheet to input what dragons you want is also another entire nightmare. It’s frustrating to go through the google poll a dozen times to say exactly what colors/eyes/gender/pasta-shape/siesta-fiesta under the sun you want rather than have a quick way to input it by drop-downs or even just a text based option like the old one had. It’s so easy to forget what you put in or which one you want to put in this time, so easy to end up making mistakes that you don’t see, etc. It’s just not an effective system. It’s great in theory, and sure, it’s all sparkly and new, but it’s like admiring an aluminum trash can. Shiny and sparkly under the sun, still holding a whole lot of hot garbage though. I understand that some people may find it easier, and that’s great! I’ve used it for a few things and yeah, it’s okay, but I wish the old one was back given all the grief and frustration this one has caused. Obviously I’m not in the place to be like DO THIS OR DO THAT since I’m not the one making the sheet here, but I do feel like the people who use it have every right to give commentary and feedback where possible. Even moreso when the creators and team aren’t actually as welcoming as they try to appear to be. As much as it sucks, a lot of L and R/P’s (primarily L) false niceties have kind of come to the surface lately which makes this whole situation just that much more awkward. If people don’t feel like they can approach you because they know you’ll rip into them here or on the anon site immediately, maybe you shouldn’t be a main creator of something for the user base or a mod for a bigger group. Just some side-thought to all this other stuff. Big post, big rambles, I can’t bring myself to organise it though because I’m pretty fed up and tired. Take from this what you may, but basically fix your shit new G1 Hoarder peeps.