#or that my cholesterol is too high...

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

also donating plasma today with my cousin......super anxious.......will update if they let me donate or not

[gornackeaterofworlds]

HUGS YOU FOREVER

-justalotoffanfiction❤️

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOODNESS HELLO

[softietrait]

hi guys-- just an update. no need to read if you don't wanna lol but so i do have ... kinda..a lot of health issues. hence why i tend to disappear at random sometimes despite me saying i'll do this and that lol UGH anyway...past few days i was battling a migraine that i could NOT get to go away. i was reaching my limit for real i ended up going to the ER. i feel way better but i'm still Blegh. i am gonna be opening my game today though <3

[spicysucculentz]

naturopaths are SO hit or miss. some of them are crazy anti vax folks and some of them are normal. you never know till you get there and there’s like posters warning about 5G in the waiting room💀

[omoghouls]

The hereditary cholesterol issued finally got be babes😔

[lostintransist]

You're cooking with that gym one.. keep going

Here is my submission for you anon.

John rubbed tiredly at his face. His feet pressed in turn to the rotating belt of the treadmill. He did not want to be here.

Base doc told him he wouldn't be getting clearance to go back on jobs until he got is cholesterol down. He, wisely, did not question how his cholesterol could be high when the only things he consumed were cigars, toast, and coffee.

Having tried the base gym a few times he found it...full of distractions.

If he could be found on base he had everyone, including the devil, showing up at his side. If it wasn't questions, it was paperwork. He fucking hated paperwork.

Gym etiquette said to, when possible, leave a machine open between you and the next person over on treadmills. You had already been on a machine when he arrived. John walked with no music. Oppositely you jived and mouthed along with whatever you were listening to. He appreciated that you didn't sing as you walked. Soap's of kilter voice drifting from the showers was more than enough.

John lifted a brow at the young man who stepped onto the machine between you and him. The man didn't spare him a glance. John shrugged. He maintained his pace, eyes fixed on the news. Damn he should start bringing his glasses. Those subtitles were stretching his limits of vision.

"Come on, just talk to me already!"

The man beside him shouted. John turned in time to see the man hit the off button and step off the treadmill. Glancing at you he his concern rises. Tight jaw, nose flaring wide as you suck in breaths, and white knuckles gripping the arms of the machine tell him a lot.

When the man appears before your treadmill John is already reaching for his off button. He's a bastard. His ex-wives agreed on that, but this was unacceptable behavior.

You surprise both men when you rip your headphones off.

"I know you don't listen to your mother either, but let's see if your kindergarten teacher was right about you being a good student." A look of disgust adds sting to the words you whip at the man. "If a woman is ignoring you, she's busy. When a woman gives you a closed mouth smile after you attempt to flirt she is uncomfortable but won't say so because she doesn't want to be raped or murdered in the next alley over. Now unless you have something of value to provide to society as a whole, you will get out my face."

All that said without you missing a step.

"God, no need to be a bitch," the man sneered up at you. "I was going to tell you I thought you were beautiful."

"Women are only beautiful when you want to stick your dick in them. Buy a flesh light instead and leave women alone. Leave me alone." You throw up double middle fingers at him.

The fucktard shouted hate as he stalked away.

John, no longer tired, laughed so hard he started to cough. He paused his machine. Covering his mouth with a fist he laughed again when he could breathe. You are staring at him when he looks up. Distrust paints the color of your eyes.

"His kindergarten teacher?" He asked, starting to chuckle again.

The tension melts away from your shoulders. The tip of your tongue makes an appearance on your lip as you give him a sheepish look. You open and close your mouth as your fingers work themselves into knots.

"So ya see..." You can't finish your thought before you are laughing too.

"I'm John," he offers you a hand to shake over the empty machine.

"Good to meet you, John," you shake his hand and give him your name in return.

"That happen to you often? If so, I would love to witness more of you cutting men off at the knees." John can't help but smile, full and wide at the embarrassment that sparks through your posture.

You sigh through your nose.

"More often than I care for," you admit.

"Well, if you need a gym buddy I am in need of a good laugh," John pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it to you to add your phone number.

"I am at your service, John. My misfortune is yours to witness," you pass the phone back with a flourish.

John can't remember the last time he laughed so much.

Gym Adventures:

SoapGaz | Simon | Phillip Graves | Ghost | 4 for 1 Special | SoapGaz/Reader NSFW | Phillip Graves NSFW | AO3

[astrolook]

Celestial Side Effects: What Your Birth Chart Says About Your Body 🔮⚕️

Note: Hey lightseekers! Just a little disclaimer that these are purely my astrological observations over the years, not medical advice. Astrology isn’t a diagnosis, but it’s fascinating how certain placements seem to align with physical conditions, health struggles, and even weird little quirks, in some cases. Whether it’s allergies, accidents, or lifelong battles with health, your birth chart might just have some clues. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and remember that planets don’t control you, but they sure do leave their fingerprints. Lemme know in the comments! 😉

Sun in 2nd - High cholesterol or blood sugar issues. I mean your stomach has a PhD in survival but your arteries are protesting.

Mercury/Mercury Rx in 2nd - Speech therapy or issues related to their speech.

Jupiter in 2nd - Weight gain from overindulgence, diabetes risk, or excessive sugar cravings. Your aren't addicted to food, just very committed.

Mars in 2nd - Border level-thyroid issues, sinusitis. Allergic to certain clothing materials or dust and sneezes wildly. Impulsive binge eating.

Venus in 2nd - Not sweet tooth but a whole sweet mouth. Prone to comfort eating, struggles with sugar cravings.

Sun in 4th - Stomach ulcers, your family trauma is hereditary and so is your acid reflux.

Mercury/Mercury Rx in 4th - Speech delays as a child, home-related injuries, neurodivergent traits.

Mars in 4th - High risk of home accidents like burns, falls, and kitchen mishaps.

Jupiter in 4th - Weight gain due to emotional eating, digestive bloating, hereditary obesity. You eat not because you are hungry, but stressed.

Pluto in 4th - Genetic illnesses, autoimmune conditions, or childhood trauma affecting physical health.

Venus in 4th - Struggles with weight or raised by an enabling parent and it shows.

Neptune in 6th - Food allergies, mold sensitivity, or environmental illness from the home.

Sun in 6th - Prone to burnout, vitamin deficiencies, fatigue, or overworking the body. Sweat profusely even under AC.

Mercury/Mercury Rx in 6th - ADHD, neurological issues, rapid or slowed metabolism.

Venus in 6th - Body odor, hormonal imbalances, PCOS, or skin conditions from stress. It's like your hormones are in their villain-era.

Jupiter in 6th - Major health issues, depending on the sign. If in Virgo, it would be skin. If in Aries, it would be head. If in cancer, it would be heart.

Pluto in 6th - Autoimmune disorders or long term health battles makes your Doc go "This is a rare condition."

Mars in 6th - High risk of workplace injuries, burns, infections, or inflammatory issues.

Saturn in 6th - Has the energy of an 80 year old...in your 20s. Also, chronic fatigue, slow healing and bone issues. Protein deficiency.

Sun in 8th - Strong sexual energy but struggles with reproductive issues or would go for IVF later in life.

Mercury/Mercury Rx in 8th - Mental health issues(PTSD,BPD), anxiety, depression, etc. Your anxiety is your side hustle and over-thinking is your cardio.

Jupiter in 8th - Issues related to excessive libido and STD issues. Too much alcohol or drugs.

Mars in 8th - Need surgeries to fix like your body is allergic to peace.

Pluto in 8th - Fertility struggles, undiagnosed STDs, or life-threatening health events.

Moon in 8th - Emotional trauma manifesting as physical illness, hormonal disorders or just beaten up by your mom, whatever. Phobias like aquaphobia, etc.

Neptune in 8th - Substance abuse or accidental overdoses. "Just one more drink mate, famous last words."

Venus in 8th - Issues with intimacy, body image struggles. For men, causes worries about their "size" so much, like they boast about their score so much out there but in reality it's a coping mechanism. For women, STDs and in rare cases, I have seen this placement with porn stars, sex workers etc.

Sun in 12th - Tendency to ignore health issues until they become serious. It’s just a headache… until it’s not.

Mercury/Mercury Rx in 12th - Brain fog, memory issues, neurodivergence, hidden struggles with identity.

Jupiter in 12th - Exaggerated illnesses or long time hospitalization for the illness. Near-death experiences.

Venus in 12th - Secret health struggles, hidden body image issues, emotional suppression. Suffers in silence. Well at least, you look good doing it. Self-harm tendencies. Dry skin. Medicinal side-effects.

Pluto in 12th - Near-death experiences, deep fears affecting health.

Saturn in 12th - Long-term depression/illness, chronic pain, or struggles with isolation.

Neptune in 12th - Strongest placement for addiction, mystery illnesses, and hospitalization.

Mars in 12th - Accidents in unknown places, hidden injuries.

✨ Wanna know more about your birth chart or your relationship? DM me for a synastry or complete birth chart reading ✨ and check out my pinned post for pricing! 🌟💫

[vervepain]

Supercorp head canon: Lena Luthor hates kale. It’s the literal worst. She just…hates heart disease and high cholesterol more. Which run in her family on both sides. And Lionel was diabetic. Lex was pre-diabetic but wouldn’t do anything about it. So Lena just eats super clean, gets her steps in, does three sessions of zone three cardio a week, and resistance trains.

Initially, Kara thinks these are all attributes of her CEO type-A lovable neuroses. Until Lena is waiting for her annual bloodwork…and has a panic attack. And makes a kale smoothie.

And that night Lena explains that Kara is actually correct, kale is vile but it’s a good source of fiber. And she went through a phase where she ate an unhealthy amount of raw spinach. Lena explains that her family has bad metabolic genetics. And Kara is just like:

So the kale will help you live longer?

And Lena half shrugs, nods, hopefully?

Suddenly, a change occurs. Kara Danvers cannot get enough kale. Have you ever had an air fried pot sticker? Kara just ate fifteen. And she had a side of bok choy.

Lena kind of can’t belive it. Because sure eating super healthy is something she prioritizes, but it’s a downer when no one else around her is doing it? Like Alex and Kelly eat healthy…but it’s not extreme. Nia sometimes makes questionable choices in energy drinks but generally Lena thinks she has a balanced diet. Kara eats as though she auditioning for the role of human dumpster in Dumpster Fire the Musical.

Until suddenly, Kara doesn’t. Suddenly when the super friends go out to eat and Lena gets a goat cheese salad, Kara gets one too. Kara always sees if they can add chicken though. Kara likes to make soups and that winter they eat hearty stews and delicious curries. And one day it just—Lena has to ask.

“Kara why are you eating like—?”

“Like you?” Kara says setting down the last plate she was drying. She walks over and lifts Lena onto the counter. So she can stand between her legs. “Because I like you?” She pecks Lena’s cheek. “I want you around forever. And if eating this way is going to help, you bet your bucket, I’m eating kale with every meal.”

Lena blushes.

“Not every meal.”

“No.” Kara says crinkling up her nose. “I also read in one of those books? About like marriage and family life.” Lena’s eyebrows go up. “You know books about how to be married and like raise kids?” Lena did know..:but not that Kara was reading that. “I just figure it will be easier to teach good nutrition habits to our children if you and I are on the same page about nutrition values now.”

Which is , great, but Lena is surprised to know Kara Danvers is planning to raise apparently multiple children with her, when last time she checked they were still platonic best friends.

“Kara, are we dating?” Lena asks.

“No, I don’t think so. Not yet. Soon though,” and then the Kryptonian turns around to finish putting away silverware.

“Would you want to go out on a date?”

“Yeah. I’m not picky. I mean,” here Kara gestures to Lena’s penthouse where Kara does basically live. “On Krypton…like we’d be considered married already. So um, I’m good with whatever. Dating first? Just straight to a wedding. Or even just filing a marriage certificate.” Lena is still on the counter, and it feels like the whole world has vanished from under her perch.

“You would marry me tomorrow?”

“Culturally, Lena, I married you ages ago. And I should have said something. It’s okay if you don’t want this. I will get my stuff out of here tonight, but—“ Lena leapt into Kara’s surprised arms. They kissed, twirling in the kitchen.

[doberbutts]

I want to talk a bit about the whole "fat trans men are denied top surgery" thing because it's true. Many surgeons have BMI requirements and will not operate on anyone classified as more than "overweight".

But I also want to discuss how testosterone often makes you gain weight, putting trans mascs in a fairly difficult position.

When I started testosterone, I weighed 178lbs. I rapidly shot up to 198lbs. At 5'10" I'm classified as just over a BMI of 30 according to my discharge papers, making me classified as obese. I also started having a bit of a cholesterol problem and being that A: I've also hit my 30s in that time and B: I have an extensive family history of high cholesterol in the men in my family, we tried changing my diet and exercise to see if it was lifestyle or if it was genetic.

In that timespan I dropped 3lbs (bringing me to 195lbs, just under that obese line) and my cholesterol continued to climb. It's been about 7 or 8 months with no other change.

When I tell people that I weigh roughly 200lbs, they don't normally believe me. To be clear I don't really care about any of these numbers, I care about my overall health irt stamina, strength, fatigue, etc and I care about my actual muscle mass and body condition. There are, admittedly, times where I look at my stomach and go :( aww I used to be skinnier. But then there's also times like two nights ago when I looked in the mirror after my shower and just saw A Guy standing there looking at me.

Anyway. My point is, testosterone (and age) made me gain a significant amount of weight, and nothing really I've done has gotten it off. Which is fine with me, because I feel better at this current condition and am stronger and have more stamina than I ever did at lower weights even when I was a competing athlete. Everyone I tell my weight and BMI to is shocked to learn that I am 200lbs and classified as obese. From complete disbelief until I stand on a scale, to the immediate "you wear it well" or "it's all muscle though", to the inevitable "okay but BMI is a load of shit anyway", clearly even though that's what the numbers say I am not exactly the poster child for what lawmakers and fat phobic doctors fear monger about when they discuss the "obesity epidemic".

I am lucky enough that while my surgeon is being very annoying in other ways, she at least has no BMI requirement. For 7 or so months I have been putting in a lot of effort to try and lose some weight to fix my cholesterol and I have pretty much nothing to show for it. If it's that hard for me, someone who visually doesn't really look fat, how difficult must it be for someone who is definitely not toeing the line like I am. How impossible for someone who is in the 400lb, 500lb, 600lb range.

Testosterone makes you gain weigh, and then surgeons won't operate if you gain too much. What a fucking joke.

[yungistiny]

GAMEBOY ═ chapter six

[ J. Yunho ]

chapter six: does he know?

╚═════════

summary: yunho has no idea that his neighbor across the hall, the same one he’s had a crush on, was his arch nemesis behind a headset

warning: dom yunho, bratty/sub reader, slight orgothumophilia, masturbation, unprotected sex, spanking, choking, degradation, overstimulation, oral, sexting, more will be added

pairing: gamer yunho x gamer afab reader

genre: smut, romance, angst, drama

word count: 3k

chapter five

chapter seven

masterlist

═════════ ═════════ ═════════

Yunho stood frozen, the apartment door clicking shut behind Wooyoung and Y/N as they disappeared across the hall. The only sounds left in the room were his own shallow breaths and the unbearable silence radiating from the couch where his parents were seated. Fuck.

His mother gave him a once over, arms folded neatly in front of her, her expression unreadable but her raised brow said plenty. “Well,” she said, adjusting the strap of her purse. “That was quite the welcome.”

Yunho cleared his throat, cheeks still flushed. “I didn’t know you were coming.” His dad leaned back casually, legs crossed, looking entirely too relaxed for the situation. “That was obvious.”

“I… we weren’t expecting anyone,” Yunho mumbled, brushing a hand through his hair in a futile attempt to appear more put together. His shirt was rumpled, his belt askew, and he was pretty sure Y/N’s lip balm was still smeared across his lips, taste of cherry.

“We knocked,” his mom replied coolly. “Several times. Wooyoung let us in, said you were out and we could make ourselves at home. So we did. And then we got a front row seat to that.”

Yunho turned toward the wall, smacking his forehead lightly against it. “Oh my god.” His dad chuckled under his breath. “Well, at least now we know why you mysteriously lost signal earlier this morning when we tried to tell you we were coming by.”

“Dad,” Yunho hissed, mortified.

His mother stood slowly, brushing imaginary lint from her skirt. “That was your neighbor, wasn’t it? Y/N?” Yunho nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“She’s cute,” his mom said. “Smart, too. That the same girl who helped carry in groceries when we visited last month?”

“Yeah,” Yunho said weakly.

“She’s got a nice energy about her,” his dad added, standing up as well. “Though we could’ve done without the… visual confirmation of how close you two have gotten.”

Yunho whirled around. “Can we not talk about this right now?”

“Alright, alright.” His dad threw his hands up in surrender. “But, hey, your mom was just saying how we were beginning to worry you’d never date again after the last one. And here you are, practically in the middle of a live demonstration.”

Yunho groaned. “I’m going to die. This is it. Death by parental embarrassment.” His mom smirked. “If it makes you feel better, we didn’t see anything explicit.”

“That doesn’t help!” Yunho exclaimed. Fuck his life. There was a long, awkward beat before his mom’s expression softened, her voice quieter. “She makes you happy?”

Yunho blinked, the question catching him off guard. “Yeah,” he admitted. “She does.” His mom nodded. “Then we’ll try to forget what we walked in on. For both our sakes.”

Yunho let out a shaky breath of relief. “Thanks.” His dad was already halfway to the door. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go. We’ve done enough damage.”

His mom paused at the threshold, turning back to her son with a meaningful look. “I brought you some homemade meals, you Wooyoung are going to give yourselves high cholesterol eating out all the time. Also, next time, just give us a heads up. Or at the very least, lock the door.”

The door clicked shut behind them, and Yunho stood there in the quiet for a long moment.

Then he muttered, “I’m never recovering from this.”

═════════ ═════════ ═════════

Yunho adjusted his headset and leaned back in his gaming chair, eyes flicking to the chat flooding in. Viewers already spiraling from the countdown screen, they would be playing a newer game tonight, most of the comments asking if Juniper would be joining?

It had been over a week since her last stream with him, since that night, and his chat had noticed. But tonight, she’d finally said yes. And Yunho? Yunho was ready to play.

The screen shifted as he switched over to gameplay, camera overlay catching the way he subtly rolled his shoulders and grinned “Alright,” he drawled smoothly into his headset. “We’re doing duos tonight. And someone is finally back after ghosting us.”

The second voice came through his headset with a teasing lilt. “You make it sound like I abandoned you.”Yunho’s pulse picked up at the sound. Even distorted slightly through the mic filter, he could hear her in it. That familiar sweetness, the sharp little bite of flirtation under every word. Y/N. Juniper. The same.

“You did abandon me,” he said, voice dripping mock offense. “I was left to carry our whole team while you were off… what? Working on your little solo streams? Too famous for me now?” He teased.

Juniper laughed, and god, it sounded like music in his ears. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’m here now, aren’t I?” She teased him right back.

“You are.” Yunho smirked, keeping his tone casual even though his thoughts were anything but. “And it’s a good thing too, because I’ve been itching to destroy you.” In more ways than one.

“Oh? Confident today, are we?”

Yunho leaned into the mic, voice low and smooth. “You bring it out in me.” He saw the way she froze on her end, watching her, what bit of her she allowed to be seen, on her stream, a blip of silence on her end, just for a second. Just long enough to let him know he hit the mark.

Juniper coughed, clearly trying to shake it off. “You always talk this much when you’re about to get your ass beat?”

Yunho laughed, letting his fingers fly over his keyboard. “Nah. Just when I’m excited.” Another pause. Another twitch of silence. He wondered if her cheeks were as red as they were at the restaurant earlier when he messaged her mid lunch?

They dropped into the game. Their dynamic was just like before, banter sharp, sniping clean, chemistry blinding. Yunho watched her player dodge an ambush and back him up with practiced ease.

“You still got it,” he said.

“Did you doubt me?” she replied, smug.

He smirked at the screen, dropping a med kit near her. “Never.”

A beat passed before her voice came back through, quieter this time. “Missed this.” She didn’t mean to say that out loud, because it wasn’t Juniper that missed streaming with Yunho, it was all y/n.

Yunho didn’t hesitate to answer her back though. “Me too.”

The tension shifted slightly, less teasing, more charged. The kind that made even the chat slow down, sensing something real threading beneath the surface.

Yunho knew it now. Knew exactly who she was. And she had no idea. But he wasn’t going to tell her yet. No, he was going to push. See how far she’d let this go without realizing just how close he already was.

Because Juniper wasn’t just some flirty voice behind a screen. She was Y/N. His friend. His neighbor. The girl he’s, like Wooyoung said, pathetically in love with.

And he’d already had her trembling in his hands.

San’s voice cracked through the stream as himself and Jongho joined. “Took you guys long enough to get the party going.”

“Glad you could join us, finally,” Juniper quipped sarcastically.

“I was busy baking,” San replied, smug. Wooyoung’s strawberry cheesecake was moan worthy. “Domestic king hours.”

Jongho’s voice chimed in next. “And I was busy soloing squads because no one waited for me. Again.”

“You make that sound like a complaint,” Yunho said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk.

“It is a complaint.”

Juniper snorted. “Aww. Poor baby.” She teased.

Jongho groaned. “I already regret logging on.”

“Hey,” Yunho cut in smoothly, tone casual, maybe a little too casual. “Juniper, ever get recognized in public?”

There was a pause. Yunho smirked.

San instantly stopped looting. “What?.”

“What?” Yunho repeated innocently, his grin audible.

“Uh…” Juniper hesitated, covering the split second panic with a laugh. “Not really. Why? Planning to stalk me?”

Yunho hummed thoughtfully, cocking his head as if he were deep in thought. “You’ve just got a… really familiar voice lately I’ve noticed.”

Another pause. San audibly inhaled.

Jongho completely oblivious. “She does, right? I said that the first time she streamed with us! She sounds kinda like…. what’s her name… that girl from the party stream?”

Juniper recovered quickly. “Don’t tell me I sound like every other streamer girl you simp for.”

Yunho smirked, voice low, teasing. “No. You don’t sound like anyone else.”

San coughed loudly. “Okay, alright, we’re doing this now?” Did Yunho know?

“Doing what?” Yunho asked, all wide eyed sarcasm and false innocence.

“Whatever… this weird… flirting thing is.” San deadpanned, though he was secretly sweating. Yunho knew. He had to. But San didn’t dare speak up, y/n would kill him if he blew it.

Jongho chuckled. “Wait, is this why the chat keeps saying ‘just kiss already’? I thought that was about San and Woo.”

“Excuse me?” San nearly choked.

Yunho bit back a laugh. “Anyway. Juniper, have we met before?” He kept pushing. There was a beat of silence.

“Not unless you’ve been sneaking into my dreams.” Juniper’s voice teased with a bit of nervousness laced in her voice.

San rubbed his temples, whispering under his breath, “Yunho, I swear to god…”

Jongho was still catching up. “What’s happening? Am I the only one not in on the joke?”

Y/N kept her voice steady, barely. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot of questions tonight, Yunho.” What was he doing? Why was he digging so much?

“Just curious,” Yunho replied, shooting down an enemy with ease. “You’re just full of surprises lately. Like now, you’re not being a pain in my ass.”

“Maybe I got laid,” she shot back.

Yunho choked on air, eyes widening.

San immediately muted his mic, dying.

Jongho blinked. “Did she just….”

“Yeah, she did,” Yunho muttered, trying not to let the laughter in his chest turn into something else. Like a moan. He was fully aware she had gotten laid. He cleared his throat. “Must’ve been a hell of a guy.”

Juniper replied back so smugly. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Oh, he did know. He knew exactly what kind of sounds she made. What she tasted like. What her thighs felt like clenched around him.

But she didn’t know that he knew.

Yet.

San unmuted with a brittle laugh. “Soooo… we winning or flirting our way to death?”

“Why not both?” Juniper replied easily.

Jongho, still confused, groaned. “Someone please tell me what the hell is happening.” Yunho smirked. “Just trying to get to know my teammates better.” He heard the slight stutter in Juniper’s, y/n, breath, that moment of hesitation.

It was working.

She was cracking.

And he was far from done.

As the game lobby emptied and the stream ended, banner flashing across the screen, Yunho leaned back in his chair, the tension in his shoulders easing.

“Alright, I’m out,” Jongho said through his headset already halfway gone. “Night,” San muttered, not bothering to hide his relief as he logged off next. He needed to go scream into a pillow before Y/N found out Yunho was definitely onto her.

Juniper’s mic crackled. “See you guys next time.” Her voice was steady, but Yunho caught the slight rasp, like her throat was dry, like she was nervous. He waited until everyone left before reaching for his phone.

Yunho: You sounded real good tonight

He watched the three dots blink.

Juniper: On stream? Or just in general?

Yunho smirked, thumbs moving quickly.

Yunho: both but I meant your voice there’s something familiar about it

A longer pause this time.

He pictured her sitting cross legged in that chair with her mic tilted just right, trying not to squirm, probably chewing the inside of her cheek like she always did when she was overthinking.

Juniper: You’re gonna make me think you have a voice kink

Yunho: would that be a bad thing? you’ve been in my ears all night can’t help it

He didn’t send the next message right away. He typed it. Deleted it. Typed it again.

Yunho: what if I said I’ve heard you before? outside the stream?

Her reply didn’t come right away. Yunho could practically feel her heart rate picking up through the silence.

Juniper: Have you?

He didn’t answer. Not yet. He wanted to see what she’d do with the uncertainty. Wanted her to sweat the same way she made him sweat on stream with every innuendo, every snarky little comeback.

Yunho: I guess the real question is… what would you do if I have?

He hit send and set his phone down, watching the screen go dark.

If she thought the game was over, she was wrong.

It was just getting started.

═════════ ═════════ ═════════

Y/N stared at her phone like it had personally threatened her. She was still in her gaming chair, headset hanging around her neck, the glow of her monitors casting a mix of moody purples and blues across her bedroom. Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears.

what if I said I’ve heard you before?

outside the stream?

Yunho’s message haunted the screen like a curse. Her mind scrambled, flipping through every memory of their streams together, every private moment since that night a week ago when she and Yunho had ended up tangled in his sheets after one too many drinks, his mouth on her skin, his hands gripping her thighs, her name a low growl in the dark.

He couldn’t know. He couldn’t possibly know.

Her setup was locked down, camera angle safe, backdrop nothing more than her bed. He’d never seen her room.

He couldn’t know.

Which left only one thing.

Her voice.

“Oh god,” she whispered, frozen. “My voice!”

“San?” Her voice cracked with panic as she called out. Right on cue, San pushed her door open, already in pajama shorts and a hoodie, holding a plate with a slice of Wooyoung’s strawberry cheesecake.

She held up her phone, and San read the message. “Okay, well…..” he didn’t want her to freak out so San decided not to voice his own concerns about Yunho possibly knowing.

“And then he just stopped. He hasn’t messaged again. I think I’m gonna throw up.” Y/N felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

San leaned against her doorframe, tilting his head. “You don’t think he’s, like… actually figured it out?”

“I don’t know.” She stood and started pacing. “He was saying weird things on stream, kept trying to trip me up, like he was fishing. Then he drops that message and disappears?” She spun around. “He’s never seen my room, right? He hasn’t. I’ve made sure.”

San shrugged. “Unless you live streamed a house tour I missed, no. He’s never been in here.”

“So it has to be my voice.” She dropped onto the edge of her bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. “And now he’s ghosting. Just… leaving me here to spiral.”

San was quiet for a second before saying, “Okay, but hear me out, if Yunho really knows you’re Juniper and I mean knows, then he’s not just gonna tease you.”

Y/N lifted her head slowly. “Why not?”

San gave her a pointed look. “Because you didn’t tell him. And you’ve been flirting with him as Juniper and you literally slept with him. Then avoided him like he had the plague for a whole week.”

She winced. “I was freaked out.”

“I know,” he said. “But come on. You finally talked about it. It’s not nothing.” San sat down next to her, voice softened. “So if he figured it out and realized you’ve been hiding this whole other side of yourself, this huge thing, from him…”

Her stomach twisted again. “I didn’t mean to lie,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. “I know,” San replied. “But it doesn’t mean it won’t feel like one.”

Y/N’s phone buzzed again.

She snatched it up with a racing pulse. But it wasn’t Yunho, just a discord notification. She set it back down with a sigh and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

The worst part wasn’t the waiting.

It was not knowing if Yunho was sitting across the hall right now, pissed off that she’d played him.

Or worse…

Heartbroken that she hadn’t trusted him.

Y/N waited until San left back to his own room before grabbing her phone again, chewing at her bottom lip as her fingers hovered over the keyboard after opening back up her DMs.

Juniper: what do you mean my voice sounds familiar

She stared at it for a second before hitting send, her heart already thudding like a drumroll. The reply didn’t come immediately. She refreshed twice, even checked her internet like it might’ve betrayed her, and finally….

Yunho: maybe I just heard you collab with someone before San brought you in

She blinked at the screen.

Oh, he was playing games.

Juniper: i’ve done a few, you really think you’ve heard me?

Yunho: maybe your voice just reminds of someone

She could see the smirk behind that message. She narrowed her eyes at her screen.

Juniper: who?

Yunho: wouldn’t you like to know

She rolled her eyes but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips despite the anxiety still curling in her stomach.

Juniper: damn guess you’ll have to keep guessing maybe i just have one of those voices

Yunho: maybe or maybe i’m just really good at figuring people out

Her heart stuttered at that. The double meaning was right there, just buried enough to be brushed off, just obvious enough to feel deliberate. Was he just flirting? Or was he digging?

Or worse, was he already sure and testing how far she’d go to keep pretending?

Her fingers hovered again.

Juniper: why do i seem familiar now?

Yunho: I guess you always have

Y/N swallowed hard, stomach twisting. There was no way he didn’t know. Not with how he was wording things. But he wasn’t confronting her either. No accusations. No direct questions.

Just a slow, steady unravel.

And the scariest part?

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to keep hiding or if she wanted him to catch her.

═════════ ═════════ ═════════

tag list: @straycat420 @autieofthevalley @dejatiny @hannahlilibet411 @xh01bri @jintastic-yuyu @maddycline @ultrapinkvoidbouquet @wooyoungsbrat @lucid-galaxys-world @ateezswonderland @therealcuppicake @aerangi @delulu4yuyu @hyuninslutbbgirl @fireseo @insanityz @kyeos4ng @fvxyxnh0 @jintastic-yuyu @beccaskz @roxhanah @heartsforyeoo @prchiquita8

[seilon]

so far so good except im low in vitamin B. tune in for more blood updates

ok got my 30000 labs done

[wrongbodies]

A Slippery Soul, pt 1

All my life I had the strangest feeling of not belonging. I could never quite put my finger on what was wrong. I didn't hate my life, or my family, or really anything. Instead, I felt like I could never connect with things that I wanted to. As if the desire existed, but the ability could never manifest.

My large hands couldn't grasp the bow of a violin well, nor could my meaty fingers practice the delicate strokes of painting. I yearned to create something beautiful. Instead, I was graced with the body of a linebacker. I was huge, powerful, and musky. Yes, musky. When I turned 13 it was like my body went into overdrive, I was gaining muscle fast, I could down food like the sarlacc pit. And I excelled at sports. Anything I played I tended to dominate. So much so, the football coach of my high school practically begged me to join.

When I gave in, my parents - well, my father really - were so proud. I was just a freshman and earned my way on the varsity team. By Sophomore year I was first string. No one disrespected me. I was the king of the school so early. But I had my secrets too. The artsy boys caught my eye. Something so alluring about their bodies, so delicate and slight... They had grace. I never possessed that grace. I was a hammer, and they were the graceful pen. I was bound to destroying things, knocking people down, and domination.

I wanted to feel something other than that.

I stand now before my mirror. The reflection shows the messy, smelly room behind me. I try to keep tidy but my schedule is crazy. Between school and practice, I could not keep up with laundry and cleaning. But I tried.

I focused on my reflection. Broad, tanned shoulders. Thick biceps, and even thicker legs. Some would say rippling with muscle. I wasn't ashamed of my physique. But I craved another life. My hair, brown and shaggy and often tucked under a baseball cap, almost permanently turned backwards. Tight tee-shirt almost painted onto my torso, as my pectorals and abs made obvious outlines. I had cut the sleeves off, so my shoulders and below were exposed.

My face was practically chiseled from stone, my white skin tanned from hours practicing in the sun. I shimmied on some shorts, and grabbed a hoodie before heading downstairs.

My parents were amazing. They were good, Christian types, and loved eating. Thankfully I was almost constantly working out. Otherwise I'd look like my dad. His golf shirt was ballooned out, and help tenuously in place by his belt, the shirt being tucked into his chino shorts.

"Morning, champ!" My mom sang. She was also portly, her stomach pushing out She plated some eggs and bacon. She didn't work, so she was basically always cooking, cleaning, or making some Christian art. She also volunteered a lot. Anyways, it meant I never went hungry and the meals were always quite robust.

I sat at the table and hungrily attacked the food. She made the eggs with the bacon grease, it was amazing. I also felt like my cholesterol was going through the roof, but this body was demanding fuel. I had to obey those signals.

"Practice today?" Dad asked.

"Yup!" I chirped, between bites.

"Alright then, I am excited to see your game this weekend." Dad added. He was my biggest supporter. He hardly missed a game, and was always on top of me getting homework done, good grades, and good sleep. He meant well, and I was happy to oblige. This life may be strange, but I was grateful.

After clearing my plate and putting the dishes in the sink, I kissed my mom goodbye and left, slinging the backpack by the door over my shoulder and grabbing my car keys.

The ride to school was fine, and so was the rest of the day. Even practice went off without a hitch. Perfect plays, some good, rough tackles.

And then it was time for fun. A couple of the guys and I went downtown. It wasn't a huge town, but the downtown area was a good place to haunt. We roamed around, bought overly sugary drinks, went shopping or just scammed around for girls. They never really picked up on the fact that none of the girls caught my eye.

But today we wandered down a side street we hadn't checked out before. The most interesting store down this way was some old esoteric shop. The signs claimed mystic curios and other interesting finds were on sale.

Entering the shop, the thick smell of cloying nag champa was pervasive. The place was pretty dark, the front windows were blocked with thick velvet drapery. Inside candles in various candelabras and lanterns flickered, almost like a medieval room might use for lighting.

We all split and began exploring the shop, no one seemed to be working, despite the sign having said it was open. I never would steal anything. My friends on the other hand? Probably, if they could take advantage.

And sure enough, I saw one, Mikey, shove something into his pocket. Before I could say something, a voice boomed from nowhere and everywhere.

"PUT IT BACK."

Mikey leapt, and him and the others rushed the door to leave. I made to follow but my way was blocked suddenly by a woman wrapped in a lace shawl, necklaces and bracelets covered in beads. Her eyes were drawn in heavily with eyeliner.

"I know you steal nothing, boy." She said, her voice raspy. "But I see something in your aura. You must take a reading."

"A reading?" I asked, voice quivering a bit.

"Yes, I read your soul. See why you strike me different." She explained. Suddenly we were at a table, and she pushed a chair out for me. I sat, perplexed.

"I really should get- " I was about to get up.

"No, you stay. I read soul." She commanded. I felt myself compelled to stay seated.

"uh - ok!" I bleated.

"Good, good. Now I look into soul. Relax. Breathe. Clear mind." She instructed. She pulled out what looked like a magnifying glass, but it was faceted more like a crystal. She peered one eye through the lens.

"Ohhh most curious. Do you know the nature of your soul?" She asked, looking entertained.

"I don't know, other than what the church says..." I began.

"Ugh, hush with church bull-baloney. They no nothing of souls. Yours is a unique one. You are a slippery soul." She stated, matter-of-factly.

"What? A slippery soul?" I asked, uncertain what anything she was talking about meant.

"Yes, yes. It mean you once were in one vessel, and then you changed. Your soul move between one body into another. When?" She inquired.

"My soul? Vessel?" I was completely lost now.

"Yes, you had different body before. You made change to become boy you are now." She said.

"I don't know any of these words. I've always been me, Cooper." I said.

"Ohh, I see. Let me see palm." She demanded. I showed her my hands, and then she tsked, as if something made sense suddenly.

"I understand. You born, good day for mother and father. Bad day for weather. A storm, powerful and steeped in magic. You and other boy were born, caught in path of magic. The souls became flipped. You born one boy, then become another - this Cooper." She explained, and waved up and down at my body.

"Wait, you mean another baby and I switched bodies?" I asked.

"Yes, exactly boy. You and other boy are in wrong body. You both have slippery soul is best guess. It mean your soul easy to move between vessel - body. Would you find boy?" She asked, looking pleased.

"What happens if I do?" I asked.

"Up to you. Up to other boy. You stay as you are, feel wrong. You swap, your soul and body align. Be who meant to be. Align with universe, or defy destiny." She said, mysteriously.

"Well - how do I find him?" I asked, suddenly making some connections.

"I help. He lot closer than you know. He live in town. He sad. He lonely. He feel weak. But he want be strong. You strong, he want that. So give him that vessel, love. Give him life he deserve. He give you body you need. The passion. Take this." She almost seemed out of it. But she pulled a paint brush from out of her clothing somewhere.

"Take brush. When close to boy, it grow warm, warm, warm and then hot when very near. He will be same age, same date of birthing. I guess he will know, you will know when you found the right one." She concluded. "Now you leave. Go find destiny."

She shooed me out of the store. This was crazy. I looked at the chipped, battered brush in my hand. I had half a mind to toss it... but something felt right about this. Like she wasn't crazy. I was in the wrong vessel - the wrong body!

I had to find my real body.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Little Surprises 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, cheating/established relationships, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Andy Barber, side of Mike Weiss

Summary: You have a baby on the way but it’s not the only surprise.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

"You're nervous," Andy says as he sits beside you. You look down and stop your leg from bouncing.

"Sorry. Er... I am." You answer.

"About?" He prompts.

"The baby, just in general. I guess. It's a lot. I've been reading so much and... feels like a whole mountain," you sit back and cradle your hands in front of your stomach.

"I don't relish that feeling but I remember it well," he says.

"Mm. Mr. Barber, you don't have to stay."

"I don't mind," he leans back and stretches his neck. "It's kind of... exciting. My boy's about to graduate. He's done with mom and dad. It's almost... nostalgic," he shrugs. "Unless... you don't want me here."

"Well, erm... it is nice to have someone. It's a lot to go to these all alone."

"Yeah, your husband didn't come to the others?"

"Not yet. He's very busy. And he's my boyfriend," you sigh. "Things happened quick."

"Ah, right," he nods.

You shrink down. You must see very naive to someone like him. You have a baby on the way and a boyfriend too important for either of you.

"Well, what about mom? Your mom? Laurie's was elbow deep in everything about the pregnancy." He twirls his thumbs around each other. "The appointments, the shower, the nursery... felt like she didn't trust me."

"Oh, no. My mom... passed. In high school."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Not your fault. She wouldn't be very much help either." You squirm and clasp your hands tightly. "I can do it. I think. I... I think I'll be a good mom because I always wanted one... maybe that's stupid."

"I don't think so. Parents are... tough," he replies. He plays with the knot of his tie. "My dad wasn't there. Hasn't been. He's in prison. Better for everyone that way."

"Oh my." You murmur. "I hope... I just don't want to ever do that. Leave my baby behind, you know? I... maybe... maybe I didn't think this out."

"Sweetie, please, you're going to be great because you are thinking about it at all. Lots of people don't. You will do this. It'll be fine." He puts his hand on your shoulder and rubs your arm. "It's okay to be scared. It's good. It means you care."

"Thanks--"

Your name undercuts your words. You look over at the nurse and gulp. You stand. Your purse falls onto the floor.

Andy scoops up the bag and hands it to you. You take it with a shaky smile.

"Hey, you want me to come with you?" He offers. "Up to you."

"Um," you glance at the nurse. "Okay. If it's okay."

"Sure," he stands up.

He follows you across the waiting room and down the hall. The nurse tells you to take off your shirt and put a hospital gown on. Andy shifts.

"I'll stay in the hall," he assures.

The nurse leaves and shuts the door. You take of your shirt and put the gown on. You go to the door and open it and inch.

"It's okay now, Mr. Barber."

He pushes away from the wall and comes in. He closes the door and sits in the chair across from the bed. You climb up and lay down. You wiggle your feet restlessly as you stare at the ceiling.

"Forgot what it was like," he mutters. "Doctor's and stuff. Laurie's been bothering me to get my cholesterol checked for years."

"She cares a lot about you," you say.

He hums but doesn't say anything.

The tech enters before the silence can grow tense. She greets you and covers your bottom half with a sheet. She pulls your waistband lower and tucks the top into it to bare your pelvis.

She blocks Andy's view of you as she squeezes the gel onto the wand.

"I'll be cold," she warns.

She presses it against your pelvis and you flinch. She feels around as she looks at the screen, dragging around your stomach and pelvis. She pushes down and chimes.

"There they are," she gestures to the screen. "And they are very healthy." She continues to shift. "Just gonna get as many images as I can."

"Okay," you lay still as she continues. Beyond the physical, you feel like little more than a cadaver.

"You two must be very excited. Oh and they're just the perfect size."

"Um, er," you stammer. How do you explain that Andy is your boss, not the father.

"We are. Very," Andy says. "Can I get a closer look?"

You nod and the tech angles around. He gets up and stands behind her as he looks at the screen. You shyly peek up. His lips part as his blue eyes almost gleam.

"Wow," he utters. His throat bobs.

"Just a little bean," the tech says.

You push yourself up on your elbows to see. You stare at the pulsing image. There's a baby in you. A real life inside.

Your heart clutches as your eyes crest. You're going to bring a baby into all this? Into Mike not showing up? Into being alone and afraid?

You lay back and breathe out until the tears recede. Andy stays close, startling you as he touches your hand. He smiles down at you.

"It's so amazing, isn't it, sweetie."

You blink and nod. "Yeah, uh, yes."

"We can send you a few with you to put on the fridge," the tech says. "Show family."

"Oh, sure," you agree. You can show Mike. Maybe then, he'll show up.

[littlebearbigchub]

As usual, gym OOTD is: “Hasn’t accepted that he needs to size up.” 🐷 skipping cardio and letting my shirt ride up in front of everyone when I do my lifts.

I’m really being a fat slut recently. I’ve just been crushing my protein goals after a lengthy period of being too depressed to build muscle. I am feeling so BIG and loving the growing strength. I’m just totally embracing my appetite and the jiggles.

Oh course, I’m sure that it’s only a matter of time before I start freaking out again about the new highs on the scale and make another pathetic attempt at losing some of it. I’m not worried though. I know where I’m eventually going to end up and it’s going to make me so happy.

Standing at the precipice of stepping off the cliff of the 150 lb range is as thrilling and euphoric as it is genuinely terrifying. I can see myself and my path to 165 lbs (which would be my ideal next pit stop on my way to my goal of obesity at 180 lbs) but dang, I’m gonna be ruined physically and mentally if I’m not careful. I think that so long as I keep in shape I can mostly convince myself that my weight isn’t /too/ bad but it’s such a tight line to walk to not get fat too fast to stay fit (for me at least) and it gets more and more tempting to be lazy with every extra pound.

I’ve also basically decided that I’m gonna seek medication related to diabetes prophylactically when I reach that point. Like, I can eat as plant based as possible and work out to support my cholesterol and blood pressure but with my family history and signs of insulin insensitivity already appearing at a certain weight I’m gonna need some sort of pancreatic support - to minimize the squeeze from visceral fat if nothing else (besides more subq would be sexyyyyyyy) I’ve made a ridiculous delusional plan that I could access something like that and it could actually really support my gain by preventing damage from my obesity instead of reacting to it and hopefully minimize the chances of being in a situation where I have to lose weight for my health.

“Piggy boy is such a fatass that he needs meds because he just can’t say no to ice cream, doc. That’s why his belly is spilling out of his shirt and he’s up 10 pounds year over year for the past 5 years. You better do something quick before he starts tipping past 200 lbs and the gains accelerate until he can barely waddle back into this office.”

[iz-star]

Zayne's newest card made me tear up a little.

He truly heals that part of me that it's very much broken and still under maintenance ❤️‍🩹

CW: Adult talk about mental health issues and how Zayne's been a good unintentional therapy.

I sometimes joke about how "To sit on his lap would totally fix me" as a reference to his Hidden Motive card and basically that he loves MC to sit on his lap but you know, I think to be hug by him is what actually would hold together all the pieces of me that are about to fall. He hugs MC with such delicate touch, so much tenderness and you can see the love pouring from his touch, his gaze, his words.

I once mentioned in another post that I totally understand Zayne's trauma with nightmares because there was a time I had them constantly too. There's actually another part of that story: back in the day I was so stressed that my blood pressure was always high. The very reason I had to be taken to the psychiatric hospital was because there wasn't another medical reason for my high levels of blood pressure than stress. I got my blood pressure checked for 10 days (or was it 15? I can't remember) in order to discard hypertension, I also got some medical tests done to discard if the problem was in my thyroid, blood tests to check my levels of cholesterol and tryglicerides, I even got an echocardiogram but according to every test, my body was... fine. There was no apparent reason as to why I was shaking like a wet dog against the cool wind in the backyard.

I knew I was anxious, stressed and basically on high alert all the time but somehow I came to normalize the dizzines, the shakiness of my body, the arrhythmias and feeling extra weak all the time. I'm not going to talk about the reasons that led me up to feel that way bc they're too personal and sensitive, the point is: I was so stressed that my body started to somatize my mental state.

It was there when I had to be given antidepressants and got diagnosed with depression, panic disorder and other stuff that I prefer to omit atm. I started to sleep more because of the medicine but it wasn't a good sleep bc it was there when the nightmares would always make me feel distressed and exhausted everytime I woke up. I also used to had arrhythmias when I went to sleep.

This is another thing I love about Zayne's nagging about sleeping early that I forgot to mention in my previous post: Sleeping properly not only helps your body to regain energy and start the process of reparation and regeneration of cells, but not sleeping properly can lead not only to mental health issues but also, heart issues. Zayne, being the cardiac surgeon he is, knows what's truly best for you.

If I'm honest, even after therapy, I haven't been able to heal all what's causing me to be stressed. My panic attacks have decreased greatly but not entirely and you know what's funny about Zayne and panic attacks? Out of the four LIs he's literally the best option to help out with them: not only is he a Doctor and knows how to act in emergencies while keeping a calm and collected attitude but his evol is the best ally in these cases. Back then, whenever my panic attacks would hit me, that shit about breathing never the fuck worked with me (and I'm telling you this with all the frustration I feel just to remember) because to be aware of my breath only made me feel like it was easier to lose control over it. So I had to be given a couple of ice cubes in a bag pressed over my neck and face in order to wake up my brain from the emotional distress it was putting me into. The sudden cold sensation not only helped me to wake up but was also comforting from all the sweat you get to produce in these attcks.

So yeah, I can picture Zayne seeing that when nothing is working, he could cool off his hands to the right temperature to help you wake up from the emotional distress. His touch not only gentle but comforting, making you remember that his hands are the safest place in the world and there's no danger.

Even to these days, whenever someone touches me all of sudden, I can't help but flinch and my heart beat rises automatically, I'm not lying when I say that even for the smallest things my blood pressure rises. Around two months ago, I had to go to the Doctor bc I got sick and the nurse had to ask a few personal things that got me anxious so quickly that once we were done, my heart was running wild in my chest. The next thing the nurse did was to check on my blood pressure and guess what? It was higher than it should be. Next thing she did was to do a quick test of my blood and it was all fine, so she brushed the blood pressure as me being sick.

When I had to start therapy, the hardest part was to talk about the things that were stressing me out. It suprised me how difficult was it for me to put them into words, because the first sessions, whenever I tried to start talking, my voice trembled and my heart beat would rise, the ability to breath leaving my body with each try. The psychiatrist had to literally drug me with xanax, then rivotril just for me to calm down and be able to fucking talk lol.

I suppose this is the reason that his latest PV got me a little too emotional: he's the one who offers his heart for you to listen, he's the one who tells you that his heart holds no secrets that can't be uncovered and softly asks you to be honest. I'm sure that the topics of the card are less serious that the things I've talked about here but the point still remains; in order for you to open up, he also puts himself in a somewhat vulnerable but sincere position, making you know you're both in equal terms. You put your heart on the table, he does it too. He holds you closer for you to listen his heart, his sincerity something so soft yet endearing that I just know I'd be able to say everything.

Most of the times, to talk about these topics with a few ppl has been quite frustrating. These are things I don't talk about with my family to a certain point and my friends don't have the emotional capacity to handle such things. I know I overwhelmed them and none of them knew what to say when the topic was lying there on the table, bare and ugly. The only friend that was able to offer some support was actually someone that went through a very similar situation than me.

This is not a complaint, in life I've come to understand that most people won't feel emphaty for you unless they truly understand the meassure of what you went through and most cases, it only happens if they have experienced it by themselves. Of course, this won't stop them from trying to be kind but they probably wouldn't realize that their words could hurt you instead of helping you. My friends aren't bad, they're just rough because life has made us like that, no one in this life has been taught how to help. We learn it by experience.

That's another thing that I love about Zayne, he literally exists to help. He made it his mission in life to help. If I were to ask emotional support from him, I know he would take it as it is: a place where one is allowed to be weak. No judgments, no assumptions, just a space to feel safe to breakdown. When MC opened up to him about losing her family and how that was the reason she was having an unhealthy lifestyle lately, instead of his normal nagging, he understood her and said how she had the right to do what she could to cope with her pain but just asked her to make sure not to get injured in the process. He didn't judge her, he gave her a space to acknowledge her pain and the way she was dealing with it, and they weren't even that close back then.

I've been learning to live with this heart of mine who gets scared so easily that it's kind of funny how I came to love this fictional character whose role is to be a cardiac surgeon xD When I started to play this game nobody told me that this Doctor would literally help me heal my heart. If my body flinches when someone touches me, to see the extra care and love he touches MC with makes me feel so many things. He's been broken too many times that of course he knows how to hold something with the utmost care.

I started to play around the end of February and I'm still surprised at how Zayne's writing has checked out all the boxes in my fragile spots. He's been so therapeutic for me, and it's just surprising (and a little bit sad) how he's helped me to heal what real men (and some women) have broken in me. He's the man that has helped me the most aside from my brothers and step father who only hurt me greatly the day he decided to leave this world. It's so funny how a fictional character has done all of this to me, how his reminders about eating and sleeping properly worked for me outside of the game and how he telling me to have more confidence also helped that now I even also have a better job, (I mentioned it in another posts, but for a couple of years my mental state made it difficult for me to get a job and the jobs I was able to get later were all informal and bad paid) but I also can't help thinking that he's a man written by women after all and I wonder if some ppl in his writing team had gone through difficult situations and crafted him out of the things that helped them to heal.

Women help women at the end. I wish Zayne's writing team a long and happy life. And I wish the same for the other LI's writing teams because I know just as Zayne has helped me and other girlies to get up and keep going forward, the other guys have done the same for their girlies ❤️‍🩹

Thank you, Zayne and your writing team for making my 2024 better than the previous years and helping me to start moving in life again ❤️‍🩹

[ms-demeanor]

My doctor, who knows I have Hypermobility and possible EDs, suggested I got to a chiropractor and I still haven't psychologically recovered. (I did not go)

My doctor, who treated my mom for hyperlipidemia and treated my sister for her high cholesterol, is the one who prescribed a Keto diet (contraindicated for people with a family history of high cholesterol).

As much as I do hate CAM (and i do!) it has to be said that doctors aren't much helping their case in terms of what is or is not science based.

It sucks because it all sucks! The medical industry sucks! The alternative medical industry sucks! GPs don't know what the hell is up with any zebras they come across and the zebra doctors are few and far between! Insurance pays for chiropractic sometimes when they won't pay for PT and the patient gets screwed!

People shouldn't have to know all of this shit to feel safe going to the doctor! People shouldn't have to do deep dives into every single thing their doctor brings up to figure out whether it's legit (not in the least because if you act like you know too much about something there's a good chance your doctor will act like you're faking or drug seeking!)

The medical system is catastrophically broken and that's awful because it's still better than everything else, which is a huge indictment of our society.

Bad! It's all extremely bad! And I hate it and i'm sorry that your doctor did that! (Though I'm very glad that you did not go).