#or whatever science thing it did
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Tim Drake as Rook (and Blackbird)
I've seen posts floating around trying to suggest new names and new costumes for him, and I've seen really great designs (u/Hunkerdown_son's Gray Ghost suit) that I like a lot more than what he's gotten. (Poor kid's gone back to Robin and was feuding with Damian about who's the better Robin? Like, boy, you could be in college, you are a whole-ass adult now, god damn, can the writers let you develop). There's Cardinal, Flamebird, Redbird, every red bird there is. And like, I get it, Red Robin was one of his more iconic runs (pre-Flashpoint), his OYL costume was primarily red, he was Red Robin wearing basically a Robin costume for a little while there too.
One of the name's I've seen is Rook. And that fascinates me. I actually had a hazy image of it pop into my mind, like a terrible "got any more pixels?" JPG picture of an artbook all zoomed-in and blown out one, of what that might look like.

(Artist's recreation of the above described image)
So I made it.
(Look, I know. I know. That is not how "Rook" would be stylized for the logo, but listen, listen. Cursive k basically has a mini-R in it and I was having fun with this. Okay? I don't draw much these days and I'm not a comic artist/graphic designer. I do math for a living.) (I spent very little time on the logo for Blackbird, but you get the idea. The "R" gets twisted nicely into a "B" for Blackbird, in my opinion.)
Design choices and everything below. Very stupidly long.
Rook first because I know the color is going to be a sell.
Rook is a bird in the corvid family, with crows, so they're exceptionally smart birds. Rooks are also the name for the chess piece that can perform the trickster maneuver called castling where they trade places with the king (It's not hard to do, necessarily, just like, a 4D move compared to the normal chess moves, and not something the average person knows about). Being that he's been relegated to the "boy genius" role and he is vicious and cunning with his mind more than almost anything else (See Robin #137's "Show your face here again and we'll frame you for the kind of crimes even other hardened kills don't condone or forgive" speech, him blowing up the LoA's computers in Red Robin #8 after somehow creating a program/virus on their systems while under constant supervision, or all of Red Robin's "The Hit List" arc). (I know he's not the only one who can do or has done, things like this, but he does it a lot, is my point).
Rooks, the birds, as a symbol of death are also fascinating to connect to Tim. He's never "died" like the other Robins have, but his mantra in his introduction is basically "Batman needs a Robin." Because Batman/Bruce has been traumatized by losing his son, Jason, and is spiraling, dialing up the violence towards criminals, dialing down his ability to care whether or not he survives, destroying his interpersonal relationships in the process. Death as a symbol can mean the literal figurative death, but it also can mean the end of a phase of life, of letting something go, and moving onto a new chapter.
And that's what Bruce needed to do. He, of course, would always miss Jason, but he needed to move past the pain, move past the agony, become what Batman was supposed to be again. Tim's the one who got him there. He's the one who convinced Bruce to open that new door. Tim's the one who put the "family" in Bat-Family because Bruce sure as shit was not going to do that. Here, this post explains that a bit more eloquently.
https://www.tumblr.com/thattimdrakeguy/190044791065/would-you-consider-tim-the-heart-of-the-batfamily
Rooks, the birds, are also blue/purple in color, which I think is great for Tim. I know, I know, everyone wants him with red. I get. I really, truly, get it. But let's just...take a step back and go outside of the box a little for his color. Now, I know, not everyone keeps the same color consistently (the number of times Nightwing has just bounced between Blue and Red, for example), but there is usually a "main" color strongly associated with each member of the Bat-Family.
Nightwing gets blue, duh (and also bluebird). Red Hood gets red (and also Nightwing when he's having a shit time and also Kate Kane's Batwoman and also Damian's Redwing). Damian's Robin often gets green (though I low-key associate green with Tim's Robin more than Damian's, Tim's no longer going to be Robin here, so Damian can have it). The Signal gets yellow (and so does Cass's Batgirl/Black Bat/Orphan). Stephanie as Spoiler/Batgirl has purple (and so does Huntress and Barbara's Batgirl). And Oracle gets lime green.
We don't need any more red symbols in the family. It's already out of hand without throwing Tim in there. And out of all the siblings, he's the only one without a distinct color.
Anyway. If we dip into tertiary colors, we can fix all of that. I made a mock-up of what I mean drawing the symbols mostly by memory in a few minutes. For Huntress/Helena Bertinelli, I just used her mask.
See how Tim as Rook gets to be wedged in between Nightwing's blue and Stephanie's purple with Violet? Tim Drake is a Dick Grayson fan first, Nightwing fan second, and person a distant third, so going more blue with his scheme is a much better fit. You could come up with a name for him to be teal, but violet is better for Rook, and like he's also close to Stephanie's Spoiler/Batgirl colors and say what you will of his relationship with her, she is important to his character as friend/girlfriend/friendly-ex. And Dick went from "Red/green/yellow" to "Blue/black" so Tim can go from "Red/green/yellow/black" to "violet/black."
Oh, and it lets him get his "R" back. The one from the 90's that's just so iconic that he was literally introduced with as Robin. If we can have a million different bat symbols then we can have two different R's floating around and no one will be confused.
And anyway, with all of that in mind, and that terrible image haunting me, I decided to draw a quick reference sheet for what Rook might look like. I think I spent like 2 hours on the final version, with an hour and a half on sketches I hated/deleted. Anyway.
I had a nice dark green in here instead of sky blue and a dark purple instead of dark blue, but then I was looking at the purple/green and "I'm in dangered" my way out of the Joker color-combo.
Instead I decided, since he's a young person and the violet I chose was sort of blacklight-esque, then why not make him look like some kinda blacklight glowing guy. The youth these days still love that kinda stuff, right? And it ties into the themes of being a light in the dark and crime-scene stuff and all that. The colors came from how lead glass reacts under black light, and while I imagine the violet parts do show up in black light, it's the light blue parts that actually glow in blacklight.
If you want to draw this design or make up your own Rook design or tweak this design go ahead, like, for example if you wanted him to have the sharp pointy cuffs that I couldn't get to look good at all (but please tag me if you do, I wanna see it, unless you're shit-talking me. Then don't tag me.)(Shit talking means "my god, this asshole who cannot draw at all" and not "It was okay, but I thought it might be better like this/with some tweaks/more coherent colors" one I can take and the former will make me cry).
(If the notes are hard to read, they will be in text at the very bottom)
Obviously, I got a little too obsessed with the mask for my own good. I didn't want him to just have a domino mask, I liked the protectiveness of his Red Robin cowl (if not the look), and I wanted more coverage while also having his hair out because he has really good hair. So it goes around the back of his head in a band, protecting his temples and the back of his head, but nothing else for his hair to show. It is supposed to blend with his hair so we get the illusion of the cowl, but drawn by someone better/more time/shading it'd be fairly obvious up front where his hair and mask are, but less so from the back. And Tim has done the mask under a mask gag before and a self-destructing mask, so I feel like him having approximately 30-billion fail-safes to prevent it from just being pulled off of him is in-character.
And then I decided, that since Tim is Nightwing fan second, he can have a red version of the outfit named "Blackbird" for when he's feeling a little moody or feisty the same as Nightwing has the red Nightwing suit for...reasons ("We wear red in new continuities" or whatever. Why have one outfit when you can have several?). This time the colors were inspired by red cadmium glass under blacklight and the red winged blackbird.
Red Winged Blackbird's symbolically are "a sign of change and transformation. They represent the power of love and compassion, as well as the need to take action in order to make positive changes in your life. The red winged blackbird is a symbol for spiritual growth, inner strength, courage, determination and self-awareness." Which. You know. Fits Tim. And there's red. So. I feel like that's an easy sell. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wanted to reference his OYL, Post-Crisis Red Robin (regular and data alter), and Robin (Post-Crisis/Rebirth) outfits for the design. I didn't care for much of his post-Flashpoint Red Robin outifts, adding Nomura/Kingdom Hearts zippers levels of belts to him or just being Robin with two "R"s for a symbol and bad hair. You can see the OYL in the edges of the cape and the interior of the mask. Robin, Rebirth in particular, with his elbow pads and knee pads, shoulder armor and the shape of his boots. Red Robin in the bandolier harness/belt thing he's got, but every thing on it is one of those hammer space utility belt pouches the Bats are so well known for, so he can have a bajillion of them as the "tool using" Robin. The "V" center and arm-stripe/finger-stripe combo is, obviously, reminiscent of Nightwing, and his Red Robin data alter, which is also reflected in the larger mask (though the nose is not as beak-like).
(OYL References, the dialogue in the second to last panel of the first reference is misattributed, in case you were confused as to why Tim is dissing his outfit and Dick is talking like Tim)

(Red Robin References)
(Robin References)
And obviously, I just put his "R" symbol on a circle and called it a day. Although I was clearly going off of memory instead of a direct reference, but whatever. Whatever. It fits better in a circle the way I did it. And a circle is a better buckle/clip than the oval, which was a deliberate choice. So. Anyway.
Notes (from top left to bottom right, grouped by what they're describing):
Shoulder Shot: "We're bringing back his iconic 'R' from the 90's for 'Rook. (pointing to the R symbol)." "The cape can be rolled back to reveal some light shoulder armor that doesn't change his silhouette when the cape is down (pointing to his shoulder armor and the rolled back cape that is reminiscent of his over the shoulder "black with yellow" capes)." "Feather pattern that emulates Nightwing's arm/fingerstripes (pointing to the side of his arm)." "His elbow pads have the same shape as his kneepads for the skaterboy vibe. (pointing to the pads over his arms and knees)."
Sketch of harness: "Bandolier harness hides under the cape that clips into his insignia (pointing to the symbol in the center)." "Each space is a pouch (pointing to every area between the pointed ridges (which are hollow tubes with screw caps that can also hold things for maximum hammerspace))."
The detailed shot of the mask: "The face mask is partial emotive with white lenses that have thermal and night-vision (next to the white eyes)." "The foil layer of the mask can peel off unless actively held when the mask is lifted, and cling to his skin with a static charge that makes it almost impossible to peel from his skin (pointing to the teal circuit bit that is lifted from the pointy bit of the mask (the circuits are water/sweat proof, don't worry))." "There are dozens of magnetic locks that have to hit in the right on/off pattern to life all layers of the mask. Each finger in his gloves can have an active magnetic charge, so there are over a thousand combinations (pointing to the foil layer and the inside of the mask)."
The sketches of the mask lowered and raised: "The back of the mask is made of interlocking combs that seal together with metal locks to avoid it coming off unintended (pointing to the back of the raised mask)." "Durable, flexible rubber-like material (pointing to the sides of the mask, back, and the expanding fan like section that allows it to raise while still being one-piece and the top of the mask that would roll against his forehead)." "The mask can be lifted up when the locks are undone (pointing to the raised and lowered mask and the expanding accordion like structure)."
The sketch of a side profile of his head with his bangs and face half there: "Where does the mask end and his hair begin? Like Kujo Jotaro's cap, the world may never know (pointing to the back of his head where the black mask and black hair would blend together)." "The back of the mask combs through his hair and the top layers of his hair cover it (providing an actual answer)." "The nose of the mask has padding that protects his nose from breaks and conceals the shape of his nose and cheeks (next to his nose, which is half covered by the mask)."
#dc fanart#detective comics comics#tim drake#robin#red robin#tim drake robin#dc red robin#dc robin#robin dc#fanart#my art#spes talks#I swear to god something possessed me with that mask#Literally the only thing I was thinking about#while sketching#and coloring#Was adding layer after layer of failsafe#so Tim Drake's identity is protected#while still letting him pull it up quickly for drama#or whatever the story needs#Also#Barry Allen had a watch that his outfit condensed down into#or whatever science thing it did#His belt and bandolier can be smooth and flat and hold many things#It's science-magic#Bigger on the inside#and all that#More hammerspace for Bats#without me needing to draw a million finicky pouches#so glad we *didn't* collectively decide that the bats had to be the most realistic superheroes
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i need more episodes about adrien just trying new things and gradually figuring out what he wants to spend his time doing, what classes and hobbies he genuinely enjoys, and then eventually, what he'd like to pursue professionally. i never really thought about running before sublimation and while i still don't think that's actually his passion, i love that he connected the act of running to the freedom and joy he gets when he's being chat noir, running around paris saving people. one of my favorite things about adrien that a lot of people in fandom especially in fics miss is that just because he's decent or even great at several things doesn't mean he has a personal connection to that thing. in early ml he was acting in his friends' student films, playing sports to different results, fencing with his friends, participating in band, even modeling for fun. in climatiqueen, he discovered he was decent at drawing, a mess with labwork, quick with languages (no surprise there), and v new to baking—all things he could improve upon but nothing that made him feel passion. but he specified the reason he had fun trying those things wasn't the things themselves but because he was doing them with marinette, same as before when he took skills he was forced to acquire by his father and re-utilized them to hang out with his friends despite not feeling a personal connection to any of those hobbies or talents. i don't know if the show plans on him discovering this soon (they're sooooo young, i hate that he is even stressing about this just because his friends are not normal and because the french school system has most people declare their course of study in lycée) but i'm just excited to see him branch out and try new things and get the life experience he was denied when he was younger.
and running away from the agreste manor (where he was confined and forced to be a perfect mold) as his first step toward self discovery? brilliant imagery.
#adrien agreste#ml spoilers#ml s6 spoilers#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#i don't know exactly where they'll go from here but my guess is “running” isn't going to lead to adrien pursuing track & field seriously#but rather that the reason he went from realizing he LOVES being chat noir more than anything else to running is that sense of freedom and#adrenaline rush he gets in battle. (running is like the first thing he's doing solely because he likes the way he feels when he does it#so there's no way they'll make him do it competitively the way sublime does because that's the kind of thing his father did:#all his hobbies and skills had to serve a purpose and serve as an example of him being exceptional#i'm excited for him to just do things because he likes them and maybe eventually find something he wants to dedicate his life to from there#looking at the other things he enjoys (not the activities themselves but lending his talents to his friends so they can pursue their own#interests and dreams) and the general sense that part of what he's gotta love about being chat noir is being able to actually help people#that it makes him feel more fulfilled than merely being some kind of celebrity model or actor or musician#i feel like whatever his true passion is has to combine that rush of freedom with that act of service#i've actually never read a fic where his true calling is something like this over being a (depressed) celeb in a career he hates#(maybe the ones that have him pursue teaching rather than just science for research or knowledge's sake)#so i'm soooo curious about this even if it (realistically!) doesn't happen in this one season#mildly related but mentioned it offhand in another post but adrien taking ancient greek just for the hell of it makes me so happy#like that's my bby nerd trying all things even if none of his friends have any interest in those subjects ilhsm
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can I just say, I followed you for your beautiful art style and use of colours and I stayed for your beautiful art style and use of colours AND cyanobacteria. Like, I know nothing about them because I'm a classic lit major but more often than not I find myself reading your posts about cyanobacteria with unexpected interest and fascination

HAH! I'm glad u enjoy them bc I feel absolutely intolerable when I talk abt them lol. But also. I am the cyanobacteria evangelist. I am the patron saint of cyanobacteria.
#mostly bc it just feels like no one cares and then even if they care a lil they care in the most boring way possible#like i dont care abt cyanos from the perspective of usefulness or as a toxic threat or relative to plants#i just think theyre cool independent of all that! theyre the only multicellular bacteria! they're complex and do interesting things!#billions of years ago they aquired the abilty to reach out toward a distant star and aquire its energy#and they became so good at it that everyone started stealing their power. and i kno im being pedantic when i get annoyed when ppl r like oh#they're like microscopic plants or plants do photosynthesis but also other stuff does too. bc its like. no. u got it all backwards cyanos#did photosynthesis 1st and were the best to ever fucking do it. they r the most important organisms to ever exist on this planet aside from#THE universal common ancestor and u r barely mentioning them and if u do ur sidelining them. and it feels like im the only one who cares. i#was talking to my lab mate abt this and she was like: i feel like if u post abt cyanobacteria on the internet u open urself up to being#harrassed by me specifically lol. so i should post abt them more and force myself to read more papers but idk it jsut feels like screaming#into the void. whatever. im just happy i kinda kno the phylogeny now#also the fact that cyanos r interesting comes as a surprise is prob bc again everyone talks abt them in the most boring ways possible#i just dont care about anything useful. i just want to do interesting science. basic research. lets see whats out there type stuff#as the government is attempting to strangle academia to death. ugh#unrelated
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Doof 101 was THE superior post pnf timeline and had the most potential for continuation actually
#and thats how i know theyll never bring it up again baybeeeeee#</3#the kids in school pulling their usual nonsense???#doof as a high school science teacher????#vanessa candace stacy and jeremy all in high school together???#perry having to come there lik every day to deal with whatever insane thing happened?????#stacy distracting candace for him????????#the insane thing happening at the high school resulting in the clean up of whatever the kids did at their school?????#also norm should b a student in the high school too i think#it all literally writes itself we couldve had it all#phineas and ferb#candys pnf posting#anyway sorry to b insane i havent even gotten to this episode yet
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I want to hear about your fave recent scientific discoveries, Ana!!
what do i know abt science though LMAOFIODJF
#my own excitement is way too technical to explain in detail plus i won’t wanna doxx myself by sharing too much#so like we figured out a new way to look at gene regulation in a new cell type that’s a lot more physiologically accurate than our previous#one and id been SAYING this to our PI/CEO and now we’re finally upgrading so im so happy about that#we’re about to get INSIGHTS into the immune system babyyyy#one thing on a general level that i find exciting bc my ex roommate has asthma is they figured out a new way to treat it!!#it’s not an inhalation substance but an injectable (antibody 🫶🏻) and it’s really cool bc 1) it’s way more efficient than stuff that’s#currently used and 2) it’s the first advancement on this field in my entire lifetime ! actually the first in 50 yrs#so im looking into that a little bit actually you’ve reminded me i gotta send the article to her she loves science too#thanks for asking i hadn’t even realised id been excited about this until you asked 🥲#oh by the way fun fact did you know if a medicine’s name ends in -ab that means it’s an antibody-based medicine#so like. cetuximab or trastuzumab or whatever else -ab -> it’s an antibody! and thus probably super expensive too though 😖#howeverrrrr part of my job is to figure out ways to make ab production cheaper so 🤞🏼
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was clearing out my phone's gallery and once again realized how much art i never posted here, so here's a stijn strongbody!
[ID: a digital line drawing of Stijn Strongbody, a middle aged Japanese man with four sheep's horns, and, barely visible before the canvas cuts off, four arms. he holds a pencil in one hand as he looks off to one side with a good-natured, contemplative expression.]
#q#blaseball#tokyo lift#never was a stijn fan per se but i always thought he was kinda fascinating. he definitely had Plans for the lift#the extent of which only started to be uncovered by his successors after his death.#it left yusef wondering how much he had actually predicted and planned for. how much the lift was continuing along a track he had set.#what were his plans? the only person who knew (original elwin) got alted and stijn never trusted the plans to another person afterwards#it's likely whatever plans he set failed anyways without having anyone to keep course after he died. but there's always that doubt.#did stijn know this would happen. did he predict the things that would happen. did he predict gerund's death#idk idk his death was just so neat because it left all these questions that could never be answered.#also he was Science Gay with a interdimensional fungus inhabiting a large dead bug until it used their joint research#to hop dimensions again without saying goodbye and pulled some unwilling alternate version of itself to take its place#so there's also that lol#my blaseball art#buzzart#anyways yeah might be posting some more old art
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i liked (most of) my teachers better this year but why did this year suck more academically. get me out of here june 10 cannot come fast enough
#i used to like school :(#miss that#i have a b in biology#five missing assignments which is a LIE#idk what my teacher is on about because half of that stuff i did#so now i have to talk to her about that#b isn't all that bad though#but i don't think i've ever finished the year with a b and two b+#obviously the exceptions to the teacher thing are korean and bio#i don't even really mind my bio teacher all that much i just hate bio#and also she's called me the wrong name all year and it pisses me off#she should know by now#this year was just annoying#im SO EXCITED to not be in korean or honors science next year#im yapping now so here#next year im taking#english hn#world history (whatever the next level is idk)#chem#algebra 2#gym (LAST YEAR LAST YEAR IDK WHY I STILL HAVE TO TAKE IT)#photography#and tech theatre#i could take gym over the summer if i really really wanted to#but i don't#and it's expensive#so i'm taking epf over the summer (which i lowk forgot i was doing... oops)#and it's completely asycnh which is nice#technically the last day of school is june 11 but all they do is try and fit the whole school in the cafeteria + gym and make you just sit#there for two hours
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my sister was reading off a list of ingredients, stumbled over the word niacinamide, and my dad was like “when I see a list of ingredients like that, I don’t get that product”
#this is what makes me want to abandon all my strengths and personal enjoyment and study nutritional health instead of english#because this nonsense has spread too far#did i get a 26 in science on the ACT in comparison with my 35 in both reading and writing? yea#but pettiness absolutely can fuel a degree I think.#especially when my dad says things like “if you don’t eat seed oils you won’t get sunburn” and “carrots are impossible to digest so they#scrape your insides clean”#ummm maybe I SHOULD study science to avoid becoming whatever he has become#this is the same to me as in the secret history when they didn’t believe richard that mankind went to the moon#claire yells to the void
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ca n we all agree that human bonnie would not be a baker btw
#idc what gary does he's boring either way#but pb pbubs peebles is a scientisttttt she does scieeencceeeee#i mean baking is a science in a way but she'd be doing like... biology and chemistry n shit#a bit of physics#i mean sure baking as a hobby. but it would noootttt be her main thing#this isn't f&c hate bc as previously mentioned gary can do whatever the fuck he wants as long as he does it with minimal screentime#well maybe i am hating a little bit#i dont think i hate gary thaaat much actually its just that pb is so much better in every conceivable way and it makes gary so so#hard to care about in comparison#and he does not really read as a pb variant at all tbh... completely different personality. which is fine i guess#maybe they did that on purpose bc tbh pb's personality and everything would not work if she was anybody other than princess bubblegum#ykwim?#just wouldn't hit the same#wait moment of realization. i think i just like every other adventure time character too much & i need a punching bag
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man I would be such a valuable resource for Beatles historians but then again there's no way to verify the things I Know 😔
#I wanna live in a world where they can take intuition as fact#because that's literally what intuition is#literally intuition is never wrong#it would be so cool if we broke down the barriers between science and spirituality..#if we accepted that sometimes there are things you can't prove with our current understandings of science but it doesn't mean it isn't true#we kind of already do break down the barriers but they don't like to talk about it??#like mixing alternative and mainstream medicine that do the same thing like even putting homeopathic medicine inside mainstream drugs#or using psychic detectives#what if we did that kind of thing more y'know#maybe this should have been an actual post instead of just tags but whatever lol
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Actually it is SO weird to me to remember that I was an engineering student and that later on I had been pursuing a minor in statistics
I may be a IT & com person in the end, but I do have the foundations of engineering and statistics in my brain too. Wild !
#speculation nation#if i hadnt liked coding so much i probably wouldve still been an engineer.#like my school does a first year engineering track where u learn the basics and then explore different engineering options#so by ur second year u choose your official track and that decides the rest of your schooling.#and id been thinking about computer & electrical engineering. often goes hand in hand.#guys i couldve been an electrical engineer. honestly that wouldve been so cool. wasnt meant to be tho 👍#i took a coding class my 2nd semester. first experience with coding. it was in C. i LOVED it.#and it got me comparing computer engineering and computer science and i decided that i wanted to do computer science#but well the intro course for that fucking sucked. didnt wanna go back to engineering either bc i hated engineering lol#im smart enough but it's fuckin soul sucking man.#eventually tho i found my way to my current home. im a techie :3 and im happy with that.#anyways do i seem like the kind of person who was into engineering and statistics? sometimes it's weird for me to remember.#but i did spent Years assuming id end up as an engineer. my grandpa was one. my dad was studying to be one b4 he dropped out#and my sister is one. just kinda runs in the family i guess. & so i was So Sure that was where i was going.#took. an engineering class in high school and everything. taught me some good foundational skills in modeling#also was the class that let me develop my signature. bc we had a notebook we had to sign the top of every day#so me doing my signature over and over again. i decided to use it as an opportunity to make it My Own. rather than just my name in cursive.#so yeah im a techie that talks good but i do have that math brain. engineering basis. statistics knowledge.#kinda feel like a jack of all trades (master of none) with it all. but see thats a good thing for companies (i hope)#ive got foundational knowledge of many things. and i am Adaptable. they can teach me the in depth shit i need to know themselves.#and i Also have my work experience in management... which i hope will help my case when applying to companies too.#aaaahhh!!! so many things to think about!!! but at the end of the day i am smart & educated and i will be a good asset to any company i join#i just need to convince them of that 😂 but i can probably figure something out. something !!!#i will graduate college and get some kind of IT job that pays decently & work my way up to maybe someday being an IT manager or smth#i can finally start. truly growing up. instead of being stuck in forever college unable to drive myself anywhere.#have my IT job and a car and the ability to do Whatever i want.... god i want it so bad.#im just daydreaming by this point. god im so excited to finally graduate college.
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Actually what do I study if I am kind of a little bit a stem-girlie but also really definitely not. And I like psychology, religion, languages and linguistics, cultural anthropology/ethnography. Like maths (algebraic, bad at numbers), abhor statistics, like physics (but really bad at a lot of it), dislike chemistry, is okay with biology but not extremely passionate about it quite lukewarm really though medicine is my favorite aspect of it and i kind of like it. Well?
#is good with words but bad at reading due to concentration issues and really really bad with numbers and a lot of abstract things also#not rly interested in political science or economics#history never grabbed my attention that much#in that case i am more interested in pre-historic times#or ancient times too#from prehistoric to the neolithic revolution and then onwards until a few hundred years A.D#but then my interest wanes#oh i know its when christianity enters the story lol#ruining everything interesting in history and the cultures#im intersted in scandinavian history pre-christianity#and like every countrys individual history#i guess i like philosophy too its kind of my natural state existential crisis is my middle and last name#first wrote that i am good at thermodynamics and electricity for physics then was like oh yes i am good with nuclear/atomic physics too#then i was like Girl what in the world are you talking about. you are not. good at those things#and then realized oh high school physics probably does count#and that atmoic physics had a lot of math and thats why i got it#basically like the physics was so simple that it was just mathematics#like putting the atoms into a formula or whatever we did#oh it was my favorite though#but yeah. i am not. like. who the fuck do i think i am#(went to swedish version of high school specialized in natural science to clarify so idk if its just regular hs physics but still girl no)
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If you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn't matter, lets get to know the person behind the blog <3
Hi, wasn't expecting this, but cool!
I'm pb-and-jammothy, I'll probably answer to any variation of that pseudonym, except for Jim, and quite a few unrelated nicknames, here are some fun facts about me:
I'm British American, but in a kinda weird way, often this can be seen in my relatively shallow understanding about British or American things, and me using British and American spelling (though I tend to stick to one spelling of a word, it may just be an American spelling right next to a British one).
I really like cooking! I'm rather a picky eater for sensory reasons, and I'm really not a fan of trying new foods, so I'm rather proud of my abilities in the kitchen. Learning how to cook vegetables in a way where I actually enjoy them is an Absolute Game Changer whooo boy. My goal this year (which I've been achieving - 2 I've tried and been successful with and a handful ready to try next) is to learn new recipes for things I can make regularly.
I have 3 notes for fanfic ideas for a combined total of just under 14k words, with the separation being by fandom. I want to make progress in turning them from rambles about ideas into actual fics, but most of them are geared towards multi-chapter long-fics, which I've tried writing over the years, but haven't finished a single one, hence why my current ao3 accounts only have one shots published. Can't really work on any of them right now since I've got deadlines, but maybe this is a project for the summer (alongside reading a bunch of mythology books in prep for a Percy Jackson inspired ttrpg campaign I'm gonna run).
Uhh yeah, that's me. 😁👍
#it's ya boi Jammothy#ask#the fandoms are Good Omens DC (specifically batfam) and CW's Supergirl if anyone's curious#though I haven't really thought about the latter much since the show ended which makes me feel some kinda way#that's the fandom I've got 52 ideas for spread across ~7k or so words#just did the math and good omens (24 ideas) has a mean of ~161 words per idea#batfam (14 ideas) has an average of ~206 words per idea#and supergirl (52) has an average of ~139 words per idea#but that one's a bit skewed since there's a handful of 1 word ideas pulling the number lower#and then some Long ones thrown in there too#so idk maybe that actually cancels out#whatever that science thing of overestimations counteracting underestimations is#oh I Definitely rambled here#both in text and in tags#whoops
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Really struggling with trying to figure out what's me. Like what I enjoy and what ideas/traits/desires are actually my own. I think it's beautiful that people influence each other and grow together, but I'm left feeling lost right now and wondering what's actually me.
#idk ive been thinking about it a lot and really struggling#hard also to tell what's the depression and whats actually something i don't care about#i feel like i can say that playing world of warcraft was something that came from me.#but it started feeling like a chore in Dragonflight so i stopped playing.#and now everything feels tainted by other's influence and i dont know whats me anymore.#although i do need to remember that i did start playing Dragon Age on my own but it only feels like it was influenced by others because#i discovered my one irl friend used to love the games and then i got my other irl friend playing them#but i dont know how much of going into physics was my own choice or just following the path i saw before me#although i loved physics when i started doing mechanics in calculus and thought it was so cool#then i found accelerator science and detectors and nuclear physics to be so cool when i did an internship at a national lab#and then i took the most direct route to get into doing research at that lab#but things have gotten so lost and tangled up with all the horrible stuff that grad school puts you through#and the horrible stuff from this collaboration in particular#that it feels like all thats left is shame and fear and none of the wonder or curiosity#everything i do or write or whatever feels like an opportunity to 'get found out' as a fake or just fill me with shame#i thought that getting a job offer would fix me and help me get through the bullishit but the pressure is makikg things worse#and with this job im wondering if im just doing what im told and being influenced by other's suggestions and wants.#(dont go to grad school. its literally the worst thing you can do for your mental health)#vent#okay this actually kind of helped so im glad I made this post#feel free to reblog if you relate
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There’s a real paranormal attraction near me open at night!!! :D
…but everything is done in such a tourist-attracting way that the whole business appears to hinge upon sensationalized exploitation of the mentally ill >:(
#Like ooooh it’s spooky#No it’s not spooky; it’s appalling. So-called “doctors” did unspeakable things to the mentally disabled people under their care#Like sure if something is haunted; it’s haunted and should be investigated for science… like whatever#But I have a problem when the whole “asylum” thing is presented as a frightfully whispered word for an aesthetic backdrop#Like ooooooohhhhhh insane people they’re craaaazzzzyyyyyyy and are going to kiiillll yooouuuuuu shut the fuck up#Yeah hospitals in general are haunted.#But the only reason this one is getting so much traffic is because mental hospitals are so stigmatized#So of course people want to see the fucking freak show they advertise it as#In a place where the “scary” people (who are dead and therefore cannot defend themselves) were likely abused by actual monsters#And might I add it’s kind of gross that this place presents itself as a museum exploring the place’s history#when at the same time they have a scare attraction based upon the asylum WITHIN THE SAME WALLS#Rule number one to historical presentation is to present sensitive topics with sensitivity#and not to sensationalize details for shock value#Present the facts. Be respectful. I want to slap the staff.#And because everything is so sensationalized I have to question the validity of how haunted the place actually is#Because they clearly want to give people a show#Do they have the place rigged with EMF generators and hidden magnets so that people are guaranteed “””activity””””#Because they advertise on their website that they have state of the art scare technology for the fake haunted house part#Like hm… how far does that technology extend?#I don’t buy it.#like will these people buy the autism school if it closes down and do the same thing to it because oooooohhhh crazy ghosts#[inhales very deeply] GHOSTS ARE PEOPLE AND DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY#AND IF GHOSTS DON’T EXIST THEN YOU ARE STILL HARMING REAL PEOPLE BY STIGMATIZING MENTAL ILLNESS#“Haunted jewel of the state” my ASS#This parapro gives two middle fingers and two middle toes to this beloved paranormal attraction
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Really really do not want to go to this class really really do not want to do this anymore
#i was so excited for it at the beginning and i feel like it's just been meh :///#and i like i get why i don't think i'm the intended audience#it's just like. when we DO talk about the things it's supposed to be about then it's very exciting#and most of the time we're not talking about those things :///#i don't want to read lit stuff. happy for you all but i did not go to grad school to do literary analysis#i mean i did bring it upon myself i guess i could have chosen not to take a class in this department but whatever#perce rambles#sorry for being toxic social sciences guy on main it's just that time of the semester when i become a hater
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