#or whatever youd call this style idk

[cricket-soup]

my childhood friendly's meal. my mom used to cut up the hotdog for me because i wouldn't eat it whole. I always got a shirley temple or a royal something or other to drink, and my mom would pick out ice cubes from her Coke for me to eat when my ice ran out. I'd chew those nice little bendy straws to death and play with the bendy parts because they made a good sound. My mom always got a turkey club which I refused to try because it had sauce and lettuce on it. I was always allowed to get an ice cream, so I would either get a monster mash or some other one where there were two scoops with cones as hats.

sometimes we would go with my friend and her mother and we would sit under the table on the floor together.

[creaturefeaster]

guys look i just got a new pack of earrings and i think i have found. the next thing I'll be wearing every day for the next 10 years.

[ritzcuit]

not to contribute to the booktokification of the industry or whatever but i do have to admit that genres by and large have never meant much to me Like if i say i like fantasy youd think oh wizards and bitches? you like magic? you like dnd? and what im saying is I like books about talking animals. bc thats what i meant. Bc watership down is. Idk what else to call it. adventure?? Its played out its stupid im over it

but if i cant use genres to explain what i want, which i very rarely can, Bc genres are likeeeee like i get it and it must work somehow but its like. different authors write differently. Or something. and their takes and what they emphasize are different. And so how am i to say which genre i prefer if by and large what im looking for isnt "I want there to be a wizard" but moreso "i want a good book" LOL LIKE IDK GIRL I CANT TAKE IT

mostly when i go to bookstores now its for manga bc at the very least manga has a VERY large indicator of whether ill like something at a glance: art style :-) ill read just abt any manga if i like the art style. genre isnt at all what i take into consideration...so i guess the analogous Thing to that is writing style? but that feels, by comparison, absolutely nebulous to define and if i think about it too hard im going to convince myself that written language is a mistake and hide in the woods.

i guess my real problem is i just need to open up to the idea of reading bad books HELP rather than spend several months trying to triangulate The Perfect Book

also by booktokification i mean i see the appeal of looking for Tropes when searching for a book. Which if we're honest genres are just tropes anyway...also its a tongue in cheek comment bc i know its not that serious. And i would never call a book spicy so im not contributing to anything.

[blood-injections]

speak some funsandkid thoughts to me my mind is plagued by them rn

Gladly. My mind is plagued as well.

Funsandkid is taking the three most annoying little brother type of shitheads in the world and making them an insufferable polycule. Its taking already unparalleled snark and bitchiness and the limpetlike affection of a guy that aims to squeeze you to death when he hugs you and multiplying it by three. They actively make eachother worse. They're always hanging off of eachother even at the most inoppertune times. They're dogs that cant be separated because of separation anxiety but its more because they're soulmates and theres a chunk of them missing than anxiety but like dogs they will fucking whine about everything until theyre back together and when they are. They just fucking gravitate to each other. You could try to separate them and theyd walk away across the desert to find eachother and just happen to meet in the middle like wow what a coincidence as if the Witch cant hear their bitching from the other side and pushed them back together just for a little peace and quiet.

They're so stupid also. I truly cannot express how fucking stupid they are. That post i made that said its called funsandkid because they have fun eating sand together. Yeah. None of them have any sense of self-preservation unless it comes to a firefight. Thats the only time they're serious. They're the three most impulsive fuckers in the desert. Theyll see something shiny on the ground and go ooh shiny while theres like. A fucking tornado or something. They dare eachother to do the randomest stupid things and they do. I have no idea how one of them hasn't nearly died yet. "Hey Kobra i dare you to punch that cactus." "Okay." "Hey Ghoul i dare you to kiss that rattlesnake." "Bet." "Hey guys do you think I'd die if I chewed on this exposed wire?" "Idk try it."

Sandman getting his facepaint/makeup all. Fucking. Over. Kobra and Ghoul. Because i doubt its waterproof. I figure its only really needed if theyre in the city to disrupt facial recognition but he probably does it in the desert too bc it acts the same as like wearing a mask but its the fukin desert so it doesn't last long it sweats and smears and hes like a fucking cat always headbutting and like rubbing his cheek on the others or kissing them all over their faces and shit and he just. There's makeup smears all over the three of them bc of him. They've long accepted it they don’t complain. He walks into a place like black makeup running bc of sweat and looking horrifying and dead and shit going you should see the other guys and kobra and ghoul walk in right behind him covered in black lipstick kisses and black smears that if you just glanced at them youd think they were working on a car or something and wiped the motor oil on their shirts and shit but no. Its just sandman's makeup.

And he totally makes them goth. Like i proposed my goth kobra(foaming at the mouth) agenda forever ago but literally like. Kobra and Ghoul are used to listening to whatever Dr D puts on and obsessing over Mad Gear and dressing like. In their own litte styles but nothing specific just whatever they fancy out of the communal fab four closet. Not that Sandman wouldn't obsess over mad gear and shit too but i just think the scene in the zones is more like mainly punk or just general like. Fucking zonescore idk its its own thing out there. Versus the scene in the city underground where Sandmans from, i think itd have more like visible subcultures. I'm gonna go into it in haunted and holy and in my show pony au thats still gonna be in the drafts for a while but. The city would have like distinct scenes the zones are like a melting pot with only a few crews/cliques really like. Claiming to be/looking like anything specific. But like in the Pony au you'll see them with like the hip hop kinda rebels fucking around on the streets with a boombox and in haunted and holy you'll see the general funsandkid thing of sandman dragging them to goth clubs and raves and shit and doing their makeup and getting them more into that specific genre of music. And they all cry together to the cure and fuck to depeche mode. Or something like that.

Also. Polycule of genderfucks. As if any polycules in danger days arent but. None of them have a single set of pronouns except for Kobra. Trans guy Kobra, the guygirl ever Ghoul, and genderfluid Sandman.

Oh oh oh also Sandman thing that I've been Thinking abt and doodling. Sandman with natural hair. Specifically dreads or the bleached tips like those few photos of Pete we have because he would look so fucking cool

[springfieldblues]

I’m glad that I’m not being rude or anything. I love talking about dynamics as well (and my sister is sick of me talking about Nelson and Lisa lmao) and I’m really giving with being able to discuss this with someone who knows quite a bit more than I do so I can learn something new from them! I also don’t mind the long reply because I’m loving hearing someone else’s side of it.

First things first, I didn’t mean that she’d said the thing about Milhouse in that episode. My thoughts get kinda jumbled because I don’t want these asks to be too long. I was referencing when she first tells Milhouse that she liked Nelson, and I can’t quote her, but I think she does says that she wants to bring the Milhouse out in Nelson, which always rubbed me the wrong way for some reason (but it’s an old episode, so 🤷🏻‍♀️). Like she looks down on Milhouse for the way he is but wants to bring out some of his qualities out in someone else when the guy she’s trying to change (even if she thinks it’s for the better) has a soft side that she won’t pay attention to because he wasn’t the ideal version she’s made up (but I think we’ve all had versions of people in our heads that weren’t at all what they were really like so I understand).

It’s also a little odd to me that in Love, Springfieldian Style (even though i love the Nelisa and the Sex Pistols vibes with every fiber of my being) it’s strange to think that out of the three stories, the one that they appear in was not healthy AT ALL. Like, Bonnie and Clyde aren’t healthy at all and Homer and Marge play them, but when you look into the real story behind Nancy and Sid, it’s certainly not family friendly. But other than that I don’t have much to say on it because I really like that part of the episode.

But I agree that writing fiction is a good way to play with dynamics. I’m currently writing a fic (with an OC because the plan that I had would have been very OOC for Lisa) but it is already interesting to see the characters interact and seeing what works while writing it. But I do really want to look into your comic and see how you write each of them because I’m not having a great time writing Lisa. I just don’t feel like I got her right, but we don’t see a lot of 16 year old Lisa and even though it’s fun, I have a fear of writing Nelson (one of the main characters in the fic) as ooc as well. But I won’t bother you with that, sorry for the rambling lol

dont be sorry, i enjoy the rambling!

youre right, she did say she wanted to bring out the milhouse in nelson in that episode....i can see how thatd be weird LMAO for some reason i never gave it much thought but good observation. reminds me of the episode where milhouse got a crush on this new girl and lisa got mad and milhouse called her out on it because its like she didnt want to be with him but she doesnt want him to be with other people either?? or something along those lines and i was like DAMN MILHOUSE u got her

also yeah the sid and nancy segment is arguably nelson and lisa at their most toxic but to be fair, they were playing sid and nancy. that doesnt make it any less engaging though (they made a movie about sid and nancy for a reason after all)

when it comes to writing 16yo lisa you gotta remember that the show pretty often writes her as if shes already 16. based on the not-morrissey episode, they seem to be pretty self aware of that fact too. all you have to do is make her less childish and a bit more hardened (at that age, id imagine shes gone through enough disappointment to last her a lifetime,) and beyond that point i think its up to you and how youd interpret she would be like as a 16 year old, taking into account the backstory you decided to give her. you could look for teen characters with vibes similar to what youre looking for. the first season of chilling adventures of sabrina has a sabrina thats, in my opinion, pretty much a live action horror-themed teen lisa simpson. you could also sprinkle a little bit of daria in there to. velma from mystery inc. belle from beauty and the beast. hermione granger. just some examples that could work for you!

nelson is a bit tougher to write thanks to his inconsistent characterization in the show, so you have to do a bit of reconstruction yourself, taking the bits and pieces that make sense to you and want to work with. im personally going for a mean and slightly stoic ‘whatever’ kind of vibe while keeping his crass sense of humor, resourcefulness and secret soft side. but mostly hes just unreadable (purposefully so) unless youre paying attention to what he does and why he does it rather than what he says, because he doesnt really express himself much. my personal inspiration for him is john bender from the breakfast club (though id argue that bender is meaner, maybe some things just come across different in live action)

thats all i can say on writing them, idk how helpful that may be but yeah. you just gotta go with what feels right!! vague advice i know but im kind of bad at explaining these things, i really feel like im mostly going off vibes more than anything hahaha

anyway i wish you good luck on your writing endeavors!!

[pinkykitten]

hey can I get a ship with on my block, to all the boys I've loved before and marvel?? I'm a spanish girl, brunette with short hair, my eyes are brown and im a curvy girl, I'm really insecure about my self and I'm im really funny and protective with the people I love,I love cuddles, kisses and all that things, I dance, I'm really good at makeup and I love music. I really dont have a type? like I just want a person who loves me for what I am because I'm not perfect. Thank you so much 💜

hola fellow latina! you sound like a true romantic.

wanna get shipped with someone ask here you can ask as many characters as you want

click here for fandoms list

I ship you with:

ON MY BLOCK - CESAR DIAZ 

first of all hispanic ugh hello youd fit right in the group sis. cesar would see you a notice how timid you are and super chill and thats different from his CRAZY STRESSFUL CRAZY OF A BROTHER i mean stressful gang life and when he gets to know you he loves how its so easy to talk to you. you are so smart and you dont care about the material things of this world, all you care about are your friends safety and that shows a lot to cesar. when he sees how protective you are of your friends he smiles and thinks thats super attractive because what he was taught from spooky is when you make your own gang your own group you do anything to protect them and keep them safe. he cant see how your insecure because he thinks youre beautiful inside and out honey yasss own that lol sorryimtoomuchillbequiet. he tries to prove your beauty all the time and show you how special you are to him and when he like almost dying on the streets he went to you for comfort but he tried not to worry you cause he know you are super protective of him. loves cuddling with you and when you cuddle with him its like he won the lottery. omg sis you love dancing are you sure you love dancing cause you know with us hispanics thats pretty much meant you have opened yourself to a new cult im just sayin. when your friends and cesar realize sh*t this girl can dance heck they pretty much make you the spot light at olivia’s quinceanera. and jasmine kinda gets crazy with you which cesar always apologizes for cause lets be honest jasmine cray cray but we love her so much she is like the best person. and at the valentines day dance cesar loves to get *cough* super sexual with his dances so its sensual and romantic. and also cesar likes that you are imperfect cuz he da*n well aint perfect either but cesar doesnt want that he just wants his girl by his side and love on her. also with the makeup you always whether in the store or buying products new you always try it first on cesar, he looks very beautiful. but even at home you did a makeup look on him and cesar then did you lets just say you looked a little like un chola had sex with a kardashian and it did not look good. 

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE - PETER KAVINSKY

my man is about that party life style and being super popular it hurts my homeschool heart. but you show no really interest in the cool kid you legit are minding your own business and that kinda shocks peter cuz everybody wants to know him get his phone number everything but you are so different from the other girls. he likes how you have your own style. in this time in highschool kids are bullies and are hurting other kids and he sees you are kind to everyone around you and will stand up to bullies when they are hurting your friends. he knows some of his friends are fake and are just with him cuz hes popular so you make him rethink this whole friend thing. he takes you on so many dance dates cuz he loves to watch you move. like during a boardwalk date if there is music playing there he loves that you wring him over and dance with him like the feeling of having your presence and you in his arm makes him melt. you love kisses well so does this light pole! he gives you forehead kisses, cheek kisses, lips kisses, every where kisses and in public because he wants you to see that you mean so much to him. he kinda crazy tho cuz if you start with how your insecure peter will legit scream on the top of his lungs any where dont matter if its school or a restaurant he will scream how much he loves you and tell everyone that you are his girl. peter is always taking you out to buy makeup he thinks youre the best at it so he takes you to all the shops and you can buy whatever. 

MARVEL - PETER MAXIMOFF

another peter i love this boy too much like fam fam fam look at my boi! ok peter is like a child that ate 2,000 churros and skittles at the same time he is like a boi on a sugar rush and you go with the flow of things but he on another level that no one can achieve. he talks super fast with you because hes nervous and hes peter. loves to play pac man oh im sorry MS. pac man but why is it called man idk i DONT MAKE THE RULES. anywho when you are playing that game he likes to go behind you and kiss behind your ear your neck a top your head and just have his hands all over you rubbing on you. one day as a prank peter legit makes it look like he messed with your makeup and he has a stupid dopey smile on his face. you wanna beat his a*s but then he shows it was a prank. loves to show off that hes an x men and that he works with frickin hank and professor x like he thinks he a million bucks. you love to dance but not with him he dances sometimes too fast but when he is serious and romantic peter will take things slow even though he wants to carve his heart out and make it run a 3,000k run. he runs to the store for you to buy you whatever you want makeup food music he just loves to see your smile. he cant see why your insecure because he finds you so precious and gorgeous that when you talk like that he usually does something super extra why oh why did god grant you these powers peter. peter runs really fast on the street cement so fast to the point where there are like tire marks and it says that he loves you forever and ever and so the whole world can see it. he also does this thing like when hes in trouble he will run past you nonnie super fast and in circles so you dont catch him. peter loves to cuddle with you and he is very protective over you and whenever youre in trouble or hurt he will come to the rescue first cuz you are the love of his life but then cuz he is an x-men and he will make sure you laugh and are always happy with him and he will always protect you and keep you safe. 

[matoitech]

what are your trans headcanons for the promare girls?

ooo fun question! i dont have like dead set hcs for anyone rly but heres some of the ones i typically go with in my brain (keep in mind im transmasc so if u ask transfem prmr fans youd prob get more specific hcs lol, the prmr girls r trans but i dont wanna accidentally go out of my lane w it)

ainas a trans woman, she/her (im also rly fond of transfem nonbinary aina tho) im not sure abt her family situation but it seems her and heris dont have parents so heris may have signed off on e for her when she was a minor (maybe puberty blockers too but it depends on how much older heris was than her) and she got her name change early. got top surgery when she was 18/19. i think it would be funny if she was in and out of doc offices for trans stuff the same time galo was but they didnt know each other so they dont remember seeing each other in waiting rooms or anything gbdhgbh

thymas nonbinary (i luv transfem nonbinary thyma as well), she/her, friends can use they/them. didnt actually know she was trans till recently, hasnt thought much abt doing anything abt it yet, maybe will post-canon bc her and aina will date n talk abt it bc she is ALIVE. 

lucias transfem nonbinary, also bein a lesbian is a big part of her gender, any pronouns. collects pronouns like theyre going out of style. she, they, it, he, xe, whatever it is she’s probably used them. switches all around and sometimes has pronouns she prefers to be called that day tho. idk if she’s on e or not, never got any surgeries, she could afford to she just hasnt thought much abt it, mechs take priority 4 her. she changed her full name bc her company was gonna b named after her and she wanted her last name to b cooler lol

ughhh ok so i dont want remis girlfriend to be cis but at the same time i dont want a trans person to have to date remi -_-

heris and biar r cis bc war criminals arent allowed to be trans. heris still doesnt rly get being trans but she tries to be supportive of aina 

i feel like im missing someone r these rly all the women in promare gjndbhghdf theres not a lot of chars in it are there. i think abt aina most since shes a main

[stainedglassmaiden]

spoilers ahead - okay - so i just watched the siren on xfinitystream.

im so disappointed - or maybe ive just gotta think harder about it/watch the ending again - because it wasnt a common kind of style of a movie, and during most of it, i felt like it was going somewhere interesting . but thenn, at the end like in the last 5-10 minutes, idk, there were flashbacks or fantasies or something, i wasnt suree what was real or not, and it made the end confusing, and there be wayy less closure than i feel like there could have been!!! cause i feelll like maybee if they picked maybe onee of the confusing scenes/fantasies or something at the end, it could’ve made the closure and whole movie seem like 40% better and have more of a clear message. ughhh! they were soo close to having something interesting [and good+clear]!

some ppl had very negative reviews of it, because they didnt understand how the details related, but i think those were some of the most significant parts, and found how i thought they related, to explain and explore some themes in the story.

--

so the movies about a young man, whod never been in love and is mute and v christian, who is taking a break from his life in the church, to stay at a cabin on a lake. [although he had lost his voice in the first place when he was drowned type thing when he was young]. and his neighbor is a man whos lookin kinda rough, cause he lost his husband to what he thinks is a folklore of a monster in this lake, who drowned the husband. so now, this widower wants to find the monster and get revenge and kill the monster. and the background is, that the monster is supposed to be a woman based on like a siren [bc of the title] orr? -a slavic myth of a woman whos undead and haunts a body of water where she had drowned herself when she was unhappy with her husband/was heartbroken.

-

so! i thought it was unique bc it was a very simple set, and not much dialogue probs cause the man was mute, but that was alright with me! it wasnt uncomfortablyy quiet. it was fun for a rainy day, like a little melancholy and a little spooky and a little lovesick . idkk, it was a moodd, if youre in that mood lols, and want solidarity with a movie.

fun how they had diversity, with an asian woman playing the siren - you dont see much asian representation in western movies. and a gay man just casually thrown in there, not a big deal, which is also cool uncommon diversity representation a little bit . andd likee, ability-diversity with a mute character, and its not like a big deal, but maybe people like that would like to see people like their own selves reflected/represented in movies tooo, so they dont feel on the outsidee of the realm of “kinds of people who can be starred as kinds of movie characters” usually, you know? :).

-

some details that other people thought werent relevant and annoyingly random, were things that i thought weree very interesting and related to a message of the movie!

-like i thought the music was significant. it was this very like, etherial possibly what would you call it - like monk like, cathedral echo-y singing. you  know how theres that kind of music like in cathedrals? etherial? -andd its like the kind of music that sirens are traditionally thought to sing. like echo-y and kinda haunting. so i thought that tied the siren and the religious mute characters together. andd they were falling in love anyway. andd it sounds haunting-y and theyre both kindaa haunted by stuff in the back of their minds, like she, by her curse and her lost love in the past or whatever, and she wishes she could come back to land and be normal, but this curse is keeping her in the water - and him, by whether he should return to his church or not - since he had gotten a phone message from them saying like, dont strayyy from the churchh and dont sinnn come back to us!

thenn, i dont think his mute-ness is random either. i think it signifies the theme of like, misunderstanding and miscommunication [and how that can be frustrating]. like how she is frustrated bc shes seen as a monster [and is one] but shes also, sometimes just a normal girl, when the curse isn’t taking a hold of her. and the widower thoughtt he misunderstood her, when he wasnt sure if she wass actually the monster, because sometimes, she just acts like a lady, and he felt sorry that he was blaming her, since he was like, “theres probs no such thing as monsters, shes probs justt a normal lady”.

thenn, i dont think him being gay was random either i guess . people were annoyed about all these random choices about the characters’ characteristics, because they seemed random and distractingly irrelevant. but i think its relevant because idk i thought maybe because sirens were originally supposed to lure menn to their graves. so it makes it easier for him maybe, and more believeable that he wouldnt be able to be more focused, to try to kill her, and not be lured. even if it wouldnt literallyy work, maybe its just supposed to be symbolicc for their repellant -rather than luring - relationship.

something lacking in love - is another theme i think it was cool how they explored it in different ways. like how the mute man had never been in love, and when talking about that, the neighbor was like, “i dont know if i should feel sorry about that or not. can you imagine that?!”. and even when he did nearly get love with the siren, they could never really comfortablyy be alll the way in each others’ worlds, either on land or in the water. -not on land, because she has to always have atleast part of her body in the water, so shes always just kinda soggily, uncomfortably, sitting on the edge of the dock. they cant comfortably be in the water either, because firstly, he doesn’t know how to swim/is afraid of getting in the water, since thats how hed lost his voice as a child - and, because i guess the curse starts to take control of her when shes near other people when theyre in the water, and she needs to drown them. and, how both the other couples had had love, but then i guess they either lost their partner, or it ended in heartbreak.

it made me sad but was moving in a good way, how when she wasnt feeling the siren curse, they did try their best to change to be able to hang out. like she triedd to resist the curse and climbb out of the water to join him on land (although it didnt work). and how since she couldnt come out, hed lie on the dock withh her so she could stilll put her foot in the water. that was cute and thoughtful.

v low lighting though. like, i know we’re trying to make it spooky and a bummer, but also, i can barely see what youre doing. ever heard of likee, idk, a gray or dark blue filter for the camera, so its like the illusionn of night time, but doesnt actuallyy make things too obscure to see things?!

the choices of casting were nice though. i feel like the mute man and siren had chemistry you can feel, evenn if they couldn’t even talk much!.

the ending couldvee been clever. i just didnt really understand. but there wass a flashback or fantasy where idk, i think it was the mute man ended up becoming a siren tooo! (you could tell because his eyes became as big and dark as herss when she was under the curse being a siren), and then that was cooll cause thenn they were shown just bothh being sirenss in her little cove in the waterr, so they couldd be happy and togetherr all the time actuallyy, in the water! thatd’ve been a nice ending. although they would have to explain why hes a siren now, cause they hadn’t. i guess hed have to drown himself or get drowned, with/from a broken heart, just like she did, to become one. but why would his heart be broken, cause theyre ablee to hang out pretty much, when shes nott a siren, and shes not dead ..

butt, they did just end the movie (spoiler!) with him deciding to leave the lake (i didnt understand why?), and when he leaves, she seen kinda swimming up in the distance, to/towards his empty cabin. maybe thats just saying, “and thenn, they were never ablee to be together anywayy, and itd alwayss be like this imagee for them - how it was in the first place, with him on just on land, and herr, only and forever just kinda stuck lurkingg in the distancee, in the waterr - tooo far away from him/remote/[misunderstood! -and cant fix that [monster part] about herself] - to ever really be with him for real. :(.

hm. so i think idk, either make it clearerr, which of these endings are just fantasies,/why, or just choose onee of them, and committ to thatt message. for the movie. lols. orr if you choose the ending where he becomes a siren too, you gotta explain why that happened better.

plus, (spoiler) when the widower got killed and joined his husband at the bottom of the lake, i feel like that couldve been used to say something significant or to bring something full circle or make a point of some kind. but it didnt, so.. i kind of dont understand why that was done. although i cant think of a better ending for that character, and cant think of how else his story could’ve played out - because either he has to get killed by the siren, he has to kill the siren, or he has to never be able to catch and kill the siren - but either way, idk howw youd make eitherr of these possible endings come to an interesting and satisfying solution, for the scheme of the rest of the movie’s story. i guessss its kindaa cool that atleastt he ended up with his husband againn.. [at the bottom of the lake..] which is kinda dark - but its like , ..so ? that wasnt even his/the goal..!

so yea. i like this movie. its quiet and oddly sweet and kinda moody, which sometimes youre actually in the mood to watch. just kinda chilly. and spooky and nostolgic. im just frustrating cause i felt like it was onto something brilliant, then the ending was kinda noncommital and a flop.

but it seemed kinda thoughtful and cool how it was somethingg about like - the themes of frustration, misunderstanding, things not quitee fitting together in life, longing. which are things that arent usuallyy the point of most movies, so it was cool to get to reflect on those things [in media], uncommonly/for once, through watching this one.

[maybe the point/message of this movie was: Sometimes, you just try your best to make things work out (from the various examples of this being tried throughout the movie), but its okay to be sad and bummed when it doesn’t work out how you wanted it too, because that is how it has to end up sometimes (likethe husbands wanted to be together - and they didnt quite get what they wanted cause they didd end up together - but it was when theyre Dead at the bottom of the lake, -or how the siren wantss to overcome her curse, by healing and moving on from her previously broken heart, by trying to overcome riskss to fall in love againn with a neww man, and defying the curse trying to climb out of the water - but (for some reason?) sometimes, i guess thats just a fantasy, like all their flashbacks. so now shes just gonna be soggy and dripping and uncomfortable (physically and emotionally) in her humans clothes (not like, traditionally fun and comfortable and alluring like how mermaids who weree made to originallyy belong in the water, look.), just watching her potential [future] lovers and things she thoughtt were opportunitiess to heal from the curse, pass her by on land - while she watches them from very far away in the water. [im not suree how the mute one fits in to this message perfectly - but i guess maybe hes just the accessory to the siren’s part of the message].

[420710ge-blog]

my first entry

all of these entries will be more or less stream of consciousness

Im watching queer eye. SO I felt like writing a blog and starting a blog bc im emotional and severely depressed. ( if the fab 5 could re vamp me and my life omg)

I'm trying to grasp this concept that i am 28 years old

and i STILL have no idea who the fuck I am or what the fuck am i gonna do.

what i do know is I am a single. I am straight-ish haha (no one is straight these days eff lables and gender norms) I live in a basement. The neighborhood I live in isnt the best in my opinion for me. I know I enjoy cities and hustle and bustle and noise. this area is not where i want to spend a long period of time in. I have my drivers license but dont have a car. I'm on a fixed income. I am very very poor. I've been struggling with money my whole life. My mother was struggling with money and work my whole childhood ive come to learn. i feel like my mom maybe didn't give me all the right tools i needed to make it in this world.

I'm not a good cook, but i enjoy cooking and wish I was good. I eat very unhealthy. I dont know how to shop for groceries or clothes. i eat fast food,microwaves meals and snacks, cheese and crackers, cereal, deli sandwhiches, pb & j, fruit snacks, ice tea, juice and water. (thats basically it unless i go out to eat which is bad bc i have no money for it.)

i cannot grasp the concept of money i dont know how to budget or balance a check book or keep track of spending. i need to put money a side and save and i just cant seem to do it. The money is always being used. i feel like im always in debt or owing money that i never get in front of this wave to start earning actual income every dollar i make is always spoken for and the $1 to 80 dollars that i actually get left over is for cleaning supplies hair products medication condoms tampons pads basically things i need. and im honest in saying i do spend money on food and great craft beer bc its my way of treating myself for actually making a payment or actually getting out of bed, for going hungry for a few days or for having a good mental health day.

My hobbies include filling out job applications, fighting with doctors and secretaries, bill collectors debt collect companies and creditors, watching youtube videos, vloggers and youtubers on my phone and my freinds old old laptop the basement has pretty difficult internet connection and it is freezing cold but other than that its nice it works its a place to sleep and shelter, other hobbies are watching movies and tv, and lastly SLEEP. i sleep 10-14 hours most days or i go 2 days without sleep. i am always over sleeping or i just cant turn my brain and stress and anxiety off just to shut my eyes and sleep. I almost never talk with friends or see other people or go out and hang with friends. the only times i do go out is if someone offers to pay for me or otherwise i cant.

i am addicted to social media. i cant go for more than 15 seconds without checking instrgram or snap chat or youtube or facebook. i can easily spend 11 hours going back and forth between those 4 sites. it is very bad for my mental health and its stunted my success bc i cant help but compare myself. and its vicious negative cycle that i cant seem to break.

i have to walk or use uber or lyft or public transit to get around which gets very expensive over time. walking and being out waiting for the bus or train is very triggering for my mental health. People who are fortunate to have the luxury to own or lease a car please realize the people who cannot afford a car or cannot drive for whatever reason are not second class citizens. People and humans are very nasty and rude and more terrible than youd imagine. having to walk everywhere and be in with the public as much as i have turns you into a cynical abrasive aggresive hateful and rageful person. for example a few weeks ago a car turned on the street that i was walking on and the walk sign was lit and he had a yellow switching to a red, her turned quickly to beat the light that he didnt see me or the walk sign and was inches away from me so i ran after his car and punched the shit out of the passenger window. i spazed out like that bc i had a week of walking in the freezing cold (and living in a super cold place) being rained on and splashed by the puddles being ran thru by cars, teenagers on busses making fun of me throwing things at me, people in cars yelling shit at me and the others standing at a bus bc we dont have a car and we have to wait in the cold assuming that we were all bums or homeless.

I am not happy or passionate about things i use to be obsessed with. I grew up loving comedy. stand up sketch improv.

i use to perform. i would go see it all the time it meant the world to me it is what i wanted t0 do with my life.

but now I dont and i think its was stupid. and a waste of time. same with college it was a waste of time and money to get a degree in something i have no passion about anymore. and a degree in something in which there are no jobs for you.it was terrible decision i made. one of the billions of terrible decisions i ahve made in my life

I have zero self confidence and i barely care what my appearance looks like anymore. i glance in mirrors but never really look at myself. I dont look people in the eyes anymore. I think so hard about what i am saying for i say that it comes out more often that not weird or incorrect bc i am so worried about what others are thinking about me so then that leads to me getting made fun of for how i talk or how i say things. I am always the butt of my friends jokes im always being poked fun at or pranked or messed with.

I dress like 15 year old skate kid. i have nothing that is appropriate for like an office or an audition  or job interview or business meeting or family event or a formal event or cocktail party. i dont know how to dress for my age or for my gender. 

I am super lazy and messy but i have been working on it.

i use cannabis recreationally not everyday but definitely multiple times a week. when i can afford it. it helps clear my head and use the same way a person uses a nice glass of wine at the end of a long day. i dont think its wrong or inhibiting me as a person. sometimes it even helps with motivation and helps get me out of a depressive funk.

I am severely depressed and have an anxiety disorder.

I over think about everything. i make plans and lists for every scenario that i am going to encounter on a daily basis its almost obsessive. my train of thought before entering a conversation with anyone is “do not say anything weird dont look at them for to long, dont fidget, omg what are they thining about when they are looking at me, am i ugly and i coming off as weird or immature or nervous.” 

I lost alot of very important people in my life bc of death or from people and friends and family just cutting me off and people to live the rest of their lives without me. it makes me judge and hate everyone.

I am constantly worried that i am gonna become homeless live on the streets and become a junkie. I actually think about this so so so much. i actually shocked from what i have been thru that i havent become a junkie yet.

I dont want what most white women in their late twenties want and crave. i dont relate or most girls in my age range. its hard for me to find things in common with my peers.

I dont want to buy or own a house. renting forever is fine by me

I do want to buy and own a car preferably a truck but a small suv could work too.

I dont want a family. I dont want children my own or adoptive. I dont want to live in the suburbs or in a neighborhood with tons or old people and families.

i dont want marriage i think its problematic and dumb thing to subject yourself to.

i enjoy soccer and skateboarding and true crime movies and tv shows and horror movies and tv shows.i like some funny things but its selective. i love the sims.

i want to try out living in other states in the us and maybe even try living in the uk.

if i was rich i would want 2 small apartments in central city locations on both coasts of the us one on one and one on the other. and ill use my money to travel. i am craving to travel so badly its all i have been thinking about lately. but again no funds

i want to meet someone who just totally sweeps me off my feet. somone who knows how to be a real man and real boyfriend im tired iof these boys i need a guy who calls me out on my bs, gives constructive criticism, incredibly supportive and KIND. i want our respectfulness to be at an 100%. i want to feel worshipped and adored. i want them to be succesful and be able to bring me up and boost me forward. great listener. not sleepy or annoyed very easily. insane dark weird goofy sense of humor. id love them to be outgoing and be able to command a room and be comfortable around people new and old. great sex and adventures. currently im giving my ex a chance and its prolly a terrible idea.

i want a makeover i want to learn how to dress myself correctly and figure what my style is, make money and keep money, how to cook, how to skateboard, how to surf, how to take care of my skin and my hair. I want to learn how to work out where i wont make my current ailments and injuries and medical issues flare up and put me out of business for few days. id like to have toned arms back shoulders and legs and to not be winded dont everyday tasks.

if i had to make a dream cocktail. and the final result would be the new me i would throw in the blender: confidence of a drag queen, the wit and sharp tongue of joan rivers, the comedic timing of sean hayes, riley reids sex skills, the intelligence and maturity of michelle obama, pinks hair and singing skills, kat dennings body and dgaf attitude. that would be the perfect me in my eyes.

I want to make everyone proud of me. and I want to be proud of myself. 

idk what this was but its on the internet

-GE

[isaacathom]

ok so heres the idea for the evil team. most of the time, the villainous teams are making a statement. their appearance means something very specific, its engineered. team flare, for instance, is flashy and attention grabbing, and youre supposed to give them all of your attention, that sort of thing. team plasma are dressed as medieval knights to support an idea of chivalry, of shining armour and good deeds, to make the public believe theyre the good guys.

so you take it a different way. a team that wants to act in the shadows, individual agents acting in harmony with the greater group but ultimately alone. calls late at night deep inside houses. innocent business trips and weekend holidays. its all sneaky.

but you still want to give them a recognisable design. something that does mark them out as a group, unified. so, you keep them mostly ordinary, but with a few key items that might cause a second glance, but without context just seem like some style trend youve just sorta missed. stuff like all of them having long coats and collars that can cover their faces. stuff like them all wearing scarfs even if its summer. stuff like the same coloured shirts. stuff that individually looks generic enough, but when all combined, looks a lil smth smth. stuff like fancy lapel badges and necklaces, a belt with too many filled pouches, a hood that seems to be up more often than not. and then, in an ideal world, there’d be minor variants within that team. like, say they all that a coat and a scarf and a lapel badge. some have long skirts, some have pants, some have a button up pale shirt and some have turtleneck dark shirts. one of them has a set of hair pins that matches the badge, another wears bright coloured leggings, like you just sorta vary it up. the whole point is they seem like ordinary people. you dont think hard about seeing them.

itd get different with the higher ups, and even people like the YT. They’d have a lil more insignia stuff, like itd be more obvious. maybe one higher up is a person with a hoodie that has the teams symbol on it. then the leader, whoever that is, probably has something more formal, like a suit with the logo, a tie with the logo, shit like that. looks like its business for them.

its basically a team of secret agents, almost like team plasma v2 except they arent ninja pirates with a flying fucking ship that shoots ice lasers. 

i just think itd be fun. there could even be an element of it being homemade, like some of the first grunts you encounter clearly handsewed their insignia on their shirt’s left breast and instead of lapel badges theyve got like, those cheap paper badges that you laminate in a circle and draw with texta? like theyre more ramshackle earnest. the higher up you get, the more professional it gets, and harder it becomes to spot them in a crowd because theyve tailored their Look Perfectly.

thatd be a way thered be a brief misdirect with YT. when you first meet them, they look nice and professional, though ofc their aggressive and try to tell you to go home and they probably wont let you leave town (until you beat the gym and cause a progression in the time force). but the grunts you encounter soon after, theyre so clearly members of an evil team but dont share any obvious elements with YT beyond like. dark colours, maybe. or, alternatively, the grunts are super heavy handed in how theyre clearly in the evil team, but YT just looks. like a normal person. a light coloured coat buttoned up but loose at the bottom, jeans, a scarf. just normal. but then as you progress later, and keep seeing YT (but not strictly in direct correlation to the team) and you fight the more sophisticated grunts, you notice the commonalities, the coats, the scarf.

thatd be kinda cool. like for a brief bit you might think YT is a gym leader or maybe even roaming E4 with an ego that manifests in telling people they arent worth shit. then when you notice the commonalities and connect th dots, its like OH its a fucking evil team admin. fuck there they go!

also, itd be fun if theres a slight branch. in the sense that, when you first encounter YT as a confirmed member of the evil team, heading a bit in a city, they dont tell you their name until after you beat them. as they go to leave, they tell you their name, and tell that to the older trainer whose been mentoring you. and you can just choose not to do that. you will encounter the older trainer, shortly after in fact (they dont walk in just after the guy leaves, you meet back up with them after you leave the building). and when the older trainer demands answers to what you were doing, you get the typical pokemon limited responses. you can say ‘i was fighting team [whatsit]’ or ‘i met that guy again’. you say you were just fighting team whatsit, he goes off in a rage about how he told you not to, blah blah. but if you say you fought THAT guy again, he pauses. what about him? then, w/o dialogue choosing, your trainer tells him who YT is, like their name and what they said. and the elite trainer stops. they tell you angrily you shouldnt have gone after team whatsit, but they sigh alot. its basically the same as the other branch, but with a lot of extra pauses and that additional YT mention at the start.

then, when you get to the scene where the elite trainer attempts to flee without you, the confrontation between them and YT will play out differently. if the elite trainer KNOWS thats YT, he’ll be composed if nervous, he’ll be begging for chances, he’ll be rationalising why he fled. if the elite trainer doesnt know its YT, that revelation will shake the fuck out of him, he’ll be a quivering wreck, overcome with the emotion of the fact that YT didnt die, but survived and wants to squarely kick him in the gut off the side of a skyscraper. or something. elito knowing YT is YT will be diplomatic. elito not knowing YT is YT will be emotional. i mean both would be but still. and itd slightly alter YT’s dialogue, they’d be angry at you if you didnt tell elito, but they’ll also be sadistically pleased that they get to see how elito feels. if you did tell elito, yt is actually more emotional, because elito prepared slightly for this confrontation and yt was caught off guard.

itd make slightly less changes later. like, end game. itd have some tiny dialogue changes before that. but like, after the villain story is wrapped. lets say that once you beat the villain and leave and go celebrate, YT comes and just socks elito square in the jaw. just because theyve wanted to for years. they make a speech about how his cowardice caused people to suffer. itd be pretty bitterly emotional for YT. but how THAT ends depends on the choice. like. if you told elito, YT would actually then offer elito their hand and help him back up off the ground, they’d make a sort of apology thats a bit stumbling and weak and full of digs, but itd be clear theyve thought about what elito said in this grunt gang bang and they want to put this behind them. if you DIDNT tell elito, YT will end his speech by spitting at elito and leaving. YT would show up later, possibly as part of post-game content, or maybe they fuck off into the ether like N does, idk.

it might also change elitos outcome. if they reconnect with YT and start making amends, theyd end up in a different place post game, maybe at YTs old home, talking to their parents, and theyd commit themselves further to not doing this again. if they dont connect with YT, theyd remain in their e4 villa or whatever, cowardly again, hiding from the outside.

the idea is that if YT reconnects, it affirms to the elite trainer that theyve at least slightly changed for the better, and that they can continue to improve. if they dont reconnect, they simply fall further into that anguish. fall of the wagon, as it were. the end of that story would be them resigning their elite post and simply fading from the news.

or SOMETHING like that. there could be more variables. the idea is that you can help YT and elito at least talk out their problems and help them reconcile what happened, help elito apologise for his awful behaviour and help YT sort of atone for the bad shit they did in seeking that apology (since, yknow, they sided with the villains and did some villainous shit while also pursuing that revenge). like you can basically mediate and help them at least start a dialogue. whether itd end well or even amicably between them would be debatable. but itd be better than the two of them never really getting that chance to talk it out, to just say what they thought and have it bubble inside them for years? yknow. hence why the non-reconnect ending is all bitter. it leaves elito a cowardly wreck. it leaves yt as someone who doesnt feel satisfied with their revenge and thus continues to exercise that aggression through villainy. its Bad End, buddy.

i mean itd be stupid if bad end was tied just to that one dialogue choice so it possible be possible to mention it at other points, like when elito is just standing around and doesnt have hyper fixed dialogue, you can approach them and youd get some minor options about stuff to say. dialogue choices, mother fuckers. like you approach him and you can ask how his day is, giving you basically a semi relevant thing about how he feels at that moment. and then youd have like, an advice one, like ‘got any advice’ and hed tell you something semi relevant. and then thered be the 3rd, unique option - ‘ive got something to tell you’ and that gives you the chance to tell him about YT if you picked the other option at the original dialogue. and maybe, just in general, that third option after you tell elito about YT would let you ask about YT and get a general backstory on the kid, expanded from what elito tells you in ‘vanilla’.

tl;dr i love this idea i love this shit godddddddddddddddd