#other time. so i know im lucky in that sense. it has nothing to do with what i graduated in but it’s okay! it’s still satisfying!!!!

[sashimiyas]

i know this is an unpopular opinion but i looooveeeee my job and i think it’s totally cool to do so!

[heart2beom]

colon and a parenthesis

pairing: bestfriend!beomgyu x f!reader

genre: fluff, light hearted angst/comfort, best friends to ...lovers? drabble (an attempt), best friends who live together!!

synopsis: getting played has got to be the worst feeling ever. for you, you go through that heartbreak every other month. and now you're wailing on your best friend's shoulder again, for the hundredth time, ruining his hoodie. again.

a/n: "he doesn't deserve you" i'm such a basic bitch because the way i squeal over this line...was watching this show that is totally devoid of any romance subplot but i was okay with it because its a good show!! then this cute guy playing the best friend role just says this and im folding. like im being serious, i would've asked what we were. anyways ahahahahahaha, enjoy this as i slave myself into finishing my other bf2l beomgyu fic.

"Why do you look like that?"

You blink, processing his words before turning around, cereal box in hand. "What? What do I look like?" You pat your free hand around your face in attempt to figure out what incited that reaction. If it's an unwanted pimple, you're going to go insane.

Beomgyu huffs out a laugh through his nose, still eating his cereal. "I don't know, it's like you didn't get sleep for the past three decades."

He doesn't catch the roll of your eyes since he's focused on his phone, eating his breakfast but you still make sure to do it anyway. You pour the lucky charms in the bowl, the mention of your tired state gets you fighting the large grin overtaking your face. Reason?

You haven't slept a wink last night, inevitably a bad choice since you have morning classes, but digressing, it had to be the most magical of all nights. You recently got Mingi's number, the cute boy in your Music Comp class, who you've been notably crushing on for weeks.

Beomgyu knows this, obviously since you practically tell him everything, but what he doesn't know is that you've done some progression with your pining.

Other than the fact that he's cute, you find out he's also quite funny and witty, all throughout yesterday's overnight chat. Mingi's absolutely perfect. Like a prince charming. You don't even care that you have to spend extra time covering up your under eyes, it's what comes with the package that is Song Mingi.

You set your cereal on the kitchen island, sitting on the stool next to Beomgyu. Checking your phone for umpteenth time today, reading through the texts from last night still makes you smile a little too hard at the realization that yesterday night was in fact real.

You catch Beomgyu turning his head to you, brows furrowed like he was thinking of what to say, still chewing his food. "So?"

You lay your phone face down, "So what?"

"What happened?"

You realize he's talking about your dark circles. "Nothing, nothing happened. Was just studying all night," your eyes look up from your bowl of cereal to Beomgyu's doubtful eyes. "You know, pointing these things out to a woman is very disrespectful."

He laughs, and turns away shaking his head. Beomgyu was equally as tired looking so it wasn't like he had the right to make a comment. His ginger hair had strands poking out everywhere, dark circles even more evident under his eyes. It made sense, he worked late night shifts, and when he didn't, he'd stay up all night anyway, playing video games.

Yesterday he didn't have work, so you were very graciously blessed with having to hear his usual shenanigans through the walls of your room. He had an issue with keeping his emotions on the low when it came to games, which proved to be a nightmare. But thankfully, you were able to filter out his yelling with every response from Mingi.

"I heard you."

You furrow your brows, glancing to Beomgyu. "Huh? Heard what?"

He gets up, done with his breakfast, heading to the sink. "You were giggling all night. It was really weird," he mentions and your eyes widen, slowly chewing your food. Were you really that loud? How embarrassing. "Even weirder now that I know you were studying."

You throw your head back, groaning—of course he didn't buy your lie. "Beomgyu," you drawl.

"No, no, if you wish to keep your life private, keep it private." He was faking his hurt, but you also know there's some truth to it. Sharing things with each other, with no filter, has always been a staple to your relationship. And it's not like you were the type to be private anyway, so it worked out in the end.

"We were texting all night," you start, the dreamy vision of his face clouds your mind as your eyes sparkle at the thought, "Me and Mingi."

Beomgyu halts, his back faced to you— you don't read too much into it before he finally turns around. "Mingi as in... Music Comp Mingi?"

You flutter your lashes, nodding, barely biting down your smile. "He's a total A-plus heartthrob." you swoon.

Beomgyu lays his forearm on the countertop, standing across of you, tilting his head and a scrunch of his face like he’s willing to debate on that. "Yeah, but didn't Yeonjun happen like, two months ago?"

Yeonjun. The upperclassman you dated for six entire months, probably your longest relationship ever. Which is a little sad, at least for a sophomore in college. The added duration of your relationship made the breakup sting a lot more, as well as the fact that you wholeheartedly believed you'd end up marrying him at some point in the future.

Your smile droops, gaze fallen to the sad looking soggy cereal. "Hey, no, I mean, Y/N I'm just worried, but if you're—if you're over him, Mingi is good for you!" You slowly look up at Beomgyu, and you manage a smile on one end of your lips.

"You think so? Mingi's pretty nice, right?"

He huffs out a laugh through his nose again, he's been doing it a lot more often. "You stayed up all night talking to him, you're in love with him."

You break into a smile, eyes back on your spoon. "Shut up."

He points an accusatory finger, "Your ears just got red, oh my god, you are in love with him!"

You roll your eyes, quickly adjusting your hair to cover your ears. He shakes his head in awe, "You're actually hopeless."

"I'm sorry that he's literally the reincarnation of a prince charming. I can't help it."

"You say that about everyone." That was half true. You never said it about Sunwoo. "Anyways, you guys made plans, right?"

You fall quiet, eyes widening before quickly breaking eye contact with Beomgyu, clearing your throat. A few beats of silence and before you know it, Beomgyu grabs your phone, and is typing in your passcode.

You jump off your seat, "Beomgyu! Don't text him! I swear to god—" You have always made a mental note to change your passcode, but your memory fails you each time. And now you're bearing the consequences.

It quickly turns into a game of cat and mouse the more you go after him—each time, he's directly across from you as he focuses on typing as quickly as he could. Even when you calculate to run the opposite direction, Beomgyu is faster, quickly having the kitchen's island in between you both again.

"Mingi, the love of my life, I proposition you with a date at Gorae's—" he announces aloud, reading off the screen.

You rush to his side in his moment of weakness, reaching to grab your phone but Beomgyu's quick to react, raising his arm high enough for you to struggle to get your phone. God darn his height.

"Give me my phone you ass!"

"—and I want to marry you and have nine babies with you in a cottage far away from the world, my love!"

If he sent that, you'd jump off the balcony of your flat. No doubt. So, you attack him with your most effective weapon.

"And—shit. Oh my god, oh my god Y/N—" He wheezes, he's calm drowsiness dissipating, and he's quick to retreat, hands shielding themselves from your evil fingers. But you don't stop, a mischievous smile breaching your lips, because god is it fun to be the one to tease for once.

You aim for his sides, unprotected and perfect for your fingers to start tickling. His giggles are boisterous as he weakly attempts to stop your hands, but you don't let, "Punishment for being a little bitch."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry— oh my god, have mercy!" he manages to muster between his fit of laughter.

His contagious laugh bubbles one up from you until you hear a ping, and you realize that he might've actually sent that in! In horror, you grab your phone from Beomgyu's loose hold, who was still attempting to calm his laugh down, wiping under his waterline.

You check your messages, and it's in fact one from Mingi. "Beomgyu! Did you actually send him something?" you yell anxiously, eyes wide.

You don't give him time to respond, deciding to rip the bandaid, clicking on your chat. Hesitantly you read the messages after the 'goodnight' you've sent yesterday.

Your brows crease flatten as you read the two messages Beomgyu sent.

"I had fun talking. Maybe we should hang sometime?" you look up from your phone, "Who says that?"

He shrugs, wiping his hand on his sweats, "Probably, I don't know, sane people. What'd he say?"

You smile, looking back at the text Mingi had sent in response. "I'd like that. He'd like that. With a smiley face."

A conflicting smile is on his face as he says, "He'd like that with a smiley face?"

You roll your eyes, it's a terrible attempt at a joke, "A smiley face. Colon and a closing parenthesis."

He lets out an oh of realization as if he truly did not know, nodding. "Good luck, thank me when the wedding happens." he comments, walking into the living room you think— you don't really care. Too far gone as you re-read three simple words. And a colon paired with a closing parenthesis.

You really wish it'd work out this time.

—------------------------------

You don't exactly remember when you started to consider Beomgyu to be one of, if not, your closest friend.

The time he had stayed on a call with you throughout the entire night, on a school night, falling asleep after the spell of drowsiness won against both of your wills to continue talking? It magically seemed like you could endlessly talk, about anything, everything and nothing at the same time, with Beomgyu.

The time your eyes miracally found each other, in heaps of awkward situations? Like when you both ended up being third wheels to your pining friends, or when a party seemed too much for comfort.

Or when Beomgyu confided to you that he spent days learning makeup through lengthy youtube tutorials to help you out with applying it for prom?

Maybe the time you celebrated your graduation by choosing to invite over Beomgyu's family? No, you think it's probably the time you realized the only person you thought of when meaning to ask someone to move in with you—possibly the biggest next life step— was none other than your goofy, sort of odd, friend.

Or maybe it's now.

When you open the door, a heavish Beomgyu with his chest rising and falling, like he just ran a marathon, iris darting quickly going over your state before crashing you straight into his embrace, a hand gently on the back of your head. "I'm here."

You were holding it before he showed up, really holding it. But the warmth of Beomgyu's body against yours is enough for you to break. Your shoulders shake as you silently sob onto Beomgyu's, and his hold on you loosens, the previous panic slowing as he pat your back soothingly.

You knew Beomgyu, he's always been hyper aware of feelings, his own and others. This time, he set aside his own to make it easier for you to let out yours—you always notice when he does this.

His breathing is unstable against your hair, still attempting to catch it. "Why are you here? Don't you have work?" your words come out as a muffle, especially with the way your head is buried against his hoodie.

"You called, idiot."

"I called to ask if you could get milk on your way." You were in the mood for hot chocolate, your comfort drink, but to your absolute dismay, there was no milk. And you strongly preferred your hot chocolate with milk.

Beomgyu only hums in acknowledgement as if to say, yes, you're correct. You did only ask him to get milk.

Your emotions are one of a rollercoaster, once again sobbing like a child, before you pull your head away slowly, sniffling as you look up at him, your hands still wrapped around his waist. "You called in sick?"

His silence makes you feel uneasy, he could just say yes. Or no. Your brows raise. "Did you just ...run out?" you yell, almost pulling away from him completely, but he has senses for things like this —quickly pulling your head into his chest again. You groan.

"Now's not the time to lecture me." he mumbles into your hair.

After a little thinking, you decide to not fight him, giving in to his embrace. You could talk to him about his rash decision skills later, now, you want to be a little more selfish.

You're not sure where it went wrong with Mingi, and you don't really want to think about it. Your lips tremble against the soft fabric, more tears spilling down your cheeks, snot running.

"Can I blow my nose?" you ask. Beomgyu's a tinge hesitant before he just sighs. "Be gross all you want."

It felt like eternity standing there, in front of your door, Beomgyu's hand wrapped around you, and yours around his. He doesn't ask questions, he only stays silent unless you said something first. Usually saying incoherent things about Mingi, how you thought it'd end well, how he was everything to you, your moon, the sun that shone brightly. All through the occasional hiccups and sniffles of your crying session.

"I swear, Mingi—"

Suddenly Beomgyu exhales, his hands falling from your back to pull your head away from his chest. You guess it isn't a pretty look, with your bloodshot eyes, and gross snot messy on your face. But he doesn't hesitate to rub a thumb over your cheek.

"You know he doesn't deserve a minute of your time, Y/N. He doesn't deserve you. Like at all."

You furrow your brows. You don't believe a word. "You've barely met him, how would you know that I don't deserve him? And he realized that, which is why—"

He cuts your self wallow of deprecation off with a violent shake of his head. "Stupid. I've met you. I know you. That's enough information for me to make judgement."

"That's..." tears well up in your waterline again before you bury your head in his hoodie again, "That's so cheesy Beomgyu. Thank you."

You can feel his smile, somehow, it's like you're both connected by a string. "I'm serious, you're the best person I know. Flaws? Everyone has them, you do too, but you're ...still somehow the best person I know. If Mingi can't see that— if, impossibly, no one else can see that, then they don't deserve you. You know that?"

You nod meekly, soaking up his words. Millions of things could be said in response, something that could tell him how much highly you think of him too, but the dry of your throat prevents you from so.

"Tell me a joke." you say instead.

He ponders a bit before landing on one. "Can I be the parenthesis to your colon?"

You look up at him, silent, before you weakly hit his chest, laughing. When Mingi asked you to be his girlfriend, he said those exact words, and you had came home, raving all about it to Beomgyu, even though deep down, you found it a little ...too cheesy for your taste.

Beomgyu held the same opinion, except he was vocal about it. Making fun of the line for an entire weeks worth.

"Too soon."

He scratches the back of his head, a sorry smile on his face, "Yeah?"

You don't know if this breakup would be worse than the one you had with Yeonjun—only time could tell. All you knew was that no matter what it'd feel like—hell, like you were walking on pins and needles, like drowning in hot soup; Beomgyu would be by your side. That alone is enough, something that reminded you that this feeling would go away eventually.

ending a/n: you're done!! this might have to be considered the longest proclaimed drabble ever lol (2.6k words this is not a drabble) but anyways, like always, thoughts are appreciated.

[xiaosonlybeloved]

Promises- Xiao

featuring:- Xiao, gn!reader tags:- fluff only (...again.) a/n:- ughhh this is only for new year i swear not again. as usual, not proofread and whoo im back to writing for genshin!

wc:- 0.9k || masterlists

Xiao stood silently on the terrace of Wangshu Inn, watching the hustle-bustle of the mortals, lost in thoughts. It would be midnight in an hour or two, and with it would come the beginning of another new year. 

Xiao didn’t get all the excitement these mortals created around New Year. Nevertheless, as usual, he did his job to protect Liyue every night. 

He was staring at the brightly-lit scenery in front of him, countless stars twinkling above and all sorts of lanterns burning bright below, when he felt a familiar presence come up to him. And a rare small smile graces his pretty face, when he sees you stand next to him with a grin. “Enjoying the view? The celebrations this time are even more festive than last time.” You ask. 

“I don’t see the point in these activities. Perhaps these mortals have nothing better to do.” He scoffed, although there was no sting in his words.

Often Xiao wondered how he had been so lucky to find someone as extraordinary as you. You- kind, caring, empathetic, understanding, and yet you could also be ruthless, merciless and fierce when it came to protecting your loved ones. You, who stayed with him all of this long time, never once abandoning him, even when he came home exhausted, covered in blood, late into the night. It couldn’t have been easy, to put up with him all this time, and yet you did. And when you passionately told him that you’d always stay with him, no matter what, he could somehow believe your reassuring words. Sometimes, no, often, Xiao felt like he did not deserve you, not knowing that you felt the same way. After all, he was one of the great adepti, and incredibly reserved and antisocial. How you’d managed to get him out of his shell, not even you knew. But oh well, enough of all that. It is New Year after all.

“Alright, alright, Mr Adeptus.” you laughed jokingly. “Come on, I have somewhere I wanna take you to.” Sensing his hesitance, you add, “Don’t worry, I’ve made sure no one’s there. Its pretty secluded, so it’ll be just the two of us. Its my surprise for you for New Year’s.” And again, he falls a bit more for you like he does everyday, at your care for him, something he’s undeserving of. (In his opinion- you would beg to differ.)

So you two set off, with Xiao following your lead, silently admiring you from behind. The atmosphere between you is quite comfortable as you hold his hands easily, leading him through some forest to a hilltop. Judging by the lights and the activity they could see in the distant Harbor, the clock was close to striking twelve, and you hurry him through the final stretch before they emerge into a familiar clearing. 

“Remember this place, Xiao?” you ask with a grin. He nods in response, looking around the place where he first met you, where his life completely changed for the better. “How could I ever forget it.” He murmurs, looking around at the decorations you’ve set up here. There was a small hut here, and you ‘d put up lights on it and the surrounding trees. In addition, there’s also a comfy picnic blanket and homemade food. Everything here has a little touch of you, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Again, a comfortable silence falls between you two as you rest on the blanket, overlooking the bustling Harbor, occasionally munching on some goodies (aka you stuffing food in his mouth because he refused to eat.) As the fireworks go up throughout the Harbor together, illuminating the sky brighter than the stars, you lean against him as you take his hand and put something in it. He carefully holds it as if it’s a valuable treasure (Which it is- anything given to him by you is), seeing a beautiful pendant that matches his attire. “..Did you get this for me?” He asks softly, touched by your gesture. “No, I made this for you as your New Year gift.” You respond quietly. “Should I put it on for you if you want?” “Yes, please.” After a bit, he says, “Thank you so much.” You merely smiled as you finished clasping the pendant behind his neck, and then backhugged him. 

He speaks up again. “I… also have something I made for you. It’s not as good as what you gave me, but it’s an adepti protection bracelet. It could help you out sometime.” He cautiously puts the mentioned item into your hands, and he thinks the effort he put into making it is completely worth it when he sees the beautiful smile on your face as you immediately put it on, admiring it.

You spend the rest of the night on that hilltop where everything began, watching the celebrations of a new start, a new chance far below, in each other’s loving company, with the promise of a long and happy future ahead.

Reblogs, votes and comments are very much appreciated <3

[vampsquerade]

i need some huge konig comfort because im so upset :(

dude of course! i’m so sorry for getting to this a little late, but i hope you’re feeling better being upset is never fun and how long i took probably didn’t help you :c wishing you the best and lord of love

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

König x GN!Reader: Righting Someone’s Wrong

Trigger Warnings: angst with a good ending, hurt/comfort, accidental stalking(?), scars, failed dates, kissing, embracing, anxiety, apologies, threatening language, use of Y/N

Life has a really shitty way of having to balance things within the universe for everybody in the world. Some people tend to get very lucky while others are given the opposite side of the coin. Day in and day out, every second, imaginary numbers would change sequence to infinite possibilities and change the probability outcome. You were convinced it would just stay that way for you forever; today was a day with some terrible odds. Everything somehow, some way, went completely wrong for you. You had been waiting for a date for a whole hour and a half, and they’d never arrived.

You felt so stupid for waiting there so long just for nothing. It made the man who was patrolling the streets very curious about you, even more so now that he saw your depressed facial expression. The man sucked up any thought that told him to not interfere and at a staggering 6’6”, walked into the café you’d been in. “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” the gentle giant asked. Your head whipped up and you wiped at your eyes with a napkin, “O-Oh…no not at all…” you say. The man nods and takes his seat in front of you, giving you a gentle smile from beneath the mask he wore over his mouth to conceal his identity while on patrol.

“Are you feeling alright? You seem very upset right now…I may be a stranger, but I do wish to allow you to have someone you can trust and talk with,” the man said as he tapped on the table with one finger. You remain silent, trying to recompose yourself for a moment before speaking. “I-I…I’m really not feeling alright…to be honest,” your voice has become a little strained as your throat tightens, “because my date totally bailed. And I feel so stupid.” The stranger looks at you with the most gentle, soft, and sad eyes you’d ever seen as he reaches out for your hand now. “That’s upsetting—I’m so sorry that happened to you…um…” he becomes bashful.

With his other hand, he fidgets with his hood for a moment before recomposing himself, “Would you mind if I was your date?” he asks, squeezing your hand tighter. Visibly flustering, you stare at him with wide eyes, “You want to make this a date? Truly?” The man nods, laughing nervously, “B-But if you don’t it’s okay! I will understand if you just need your time alone.” His voice, while anxious, is still as gentle as you expected it to be. A small laugh escapes your lips when you see how nervous he is, feeling a sense of ease at the sight. “Well, I’m not opposed to the idea,” you say, smiling.

Squeezing his hand, you see the man’s sad eyes twinkle with hope that he can actually make you feel better. He was determined to make you feel better and that’s what cheered you up a bit. “So…give me your name? I can’t just go on a date without knowing what to call you,” you say, teasing him a little bit. “O-Oh! Yes, okay…my name is König. A-And you?” The stranger you may now identify as “König” said, asking you the same thing. “You can call me Y/N…thank you for actually agreeing to be my date today…that’s really sweet of you for a stranger…” you say, complimenting him for being nice enough to be your date.

You could tell he was getting flustered, blushing enough to where his whole face was red. “W-Well, it’s my duty to be there for the people whenever they need me to be and…well, you looked like you needed someone to be there for you.” König says, wanting to make you feel appreciated and cared for. Now it was your turn to get flustered, and since he was able to see your face better, his perceptive sniper’s eye was able to catch the visible scrunch of your face as you pursed your lips for just a moment. “Heh…made you feel all warm, didn’t I?” König asks in a playful manner, tapping on the table again to see if you’ll repeat the rhythm like you had earlier.

Laughing softly, you shake off his flirting a bit and recompose yourself. Tapping against the table once more, the sad look in König’s eyes seems to go away now when he hears it and watches you do it. “Do you normally tap on tables like that?” The question is innocent nature, just wanting to get to know him better. “Ja, sometimes—it’s just a force of habit,” König sighs softly, looking at you with a different gaze now. One more, nervous and gentle at the same time. “Now I will admit…I have been watching you for a good bit…but not in a creepy way, okay?” he confesses, making your eyes widen just a bit.

Not a word comes out from you, and yet you decide to allow him to keep talking. Based on the expression he’s got, he’s desperately having a battle in his mind if he could keep saying what he was trying to tell you. “I was watching your expression change from so excited, to nervous, before becoming depressed once you realized what your date did…” König continues to confess. Hearing he had been watching you for the entire time and now seeing he was doing this to keep you company and make you feel better, all those feelings of dread washed away. This was a man you could feel safe with, despite his sudden appearance.

“I’ll admit, it sounded…pretty creepy, but—!” you begin to speak, stopping once you see König’s sad eyes somehow become sadder, “but, it was because you didn’t finish explaining. Am I allowed to ask what your line of work is?” you then ask, wanting to know more. He then perks up when you ask about him more, “I can’t give all the details, but we can just say I’m a soldier…from Austria. Where? It’s a surprise—well…” he trails off, laughing to himself a little, “more like a secret.” König teases before standing up. You’re a little confused when he does, but when König offers his hand to you, it just makes you smile.

“Come on, let’s change your plans up—last minute style. I know a good spot to enjoy someone’s company. It’s pretty romantic too, but a little far,” König says. Taking the chance with another random stranger today, you go for it by grabbing his hand and standing up. Taking your things with you in your other hand, you step out of the café together and begin to walk down the bustling city streets. You have no idea where König’s leading you, but for some reason, a lot of trust is being put into him right now. This man probably has the capability to fucking kill you considering his imposing stature…and yet he seems a little too nice to do so.

Maybe because you don’t pose a threat at all.

Eventually, König has led you to a nearby park, one you particularly liked due to its proximity to a forest with a trail that branched off into it. “Oooo, getting me to a secluded location, eh? What, gonna kill me?” You tease, making König look at you in disbelief. “What? Why would I do that? You’re too cute and nice to kill—you’re not one of my targets, so I’ll spare your life,” König says. His tone is a little too cheerful when he says this, making you feel a little nervous now. “Nobody should ever get that excited at the thought of telling someone they’re not the target he’s supposed to kill. Wait—he fucking said what?” Instantaneously, your brain speaks to all nerves and cells in your body; fight or flight seems to kick in.

“So your work is dangerous…” you whisper softly to yourself. “Not only that, but it’s a big secret. Be good for me and don’t say a word, okay?” König says, his voice still eerily cheerful. Your stomach drops a bit more once, making you stop dead in your tracks. “Hey, what’s the matter? Did I scare you? I’m sorry—truly I didn’t mean it…” König asks as he stops walking himself. In this moment, you turn yourself away from him to process what was going on. “Y/N…? Please look at me…” he pleads you softly, eyes filled with an apologetic gaze.

You slowly do as you’re told, your eyes meeting König’s. “l won’t bring you harm, okay? I can see you look scared but you’ll need to trust me—I’m a military man,” he speaks to you in a gentle tone, “and that’s all I can give about this. I have values, and don’t believe in the harm of someone who doesn’t deserve it.” König then cautiously reaches out for you, as if reaching for a frightened animal. Not a single muscle moves, keeping you completely frozen in place. Large, gentle hands then hold onto your shoulders in an attempt to let you know he was about to embrace you. He continues to move, pulling you into a hug.

You’d expected König’s body to feel cold and off putting as well as give you more reason to run away right now, but you don’t. He’s extremely warm in the cold autumn air, relaxing you enough to feel safe once again. You would stay this way for a whole minute, as König then tries to comfort you as best as he can to calm you down. “I promise you that I would never want to bring you harm,” he continues speaking, stroking the nape of your neck a little to reassure you. You then feel him take a deep breath before sighing shakily. It’s as if König was preparing to continue fighting for your trust.

“I…I was bullied a lot, as a kid. I can understand that fear of being hurt by people who barely know you…” He says, confessing to you a reason that would at least prove he won’t do anything to hurt you. You look up at König from his chest, and he looks down to meet your eyes. “If anything, I won’t let anybody hurt you. I want to protect you a lot, okay? I will do everything to make sure that nobody hurts you,” he says, voice filled with determination. König’s grip on you becomes tighter and more protective, clearly taking this seriously. Your body seems to heat up a little when he’s practically devoting himself to your safety.

Even if he had scared you, completely by accident, König wanted you to know you’re safe. “Th…thank you…I trust you to keep your word, alright König?” you say softly. König, feeling a little brave to trust you with his identity, then lowers the mask over his mouth so it rests on his chin to seal the deal. He’s got a few scars on his face, with one that lightly passes over his soft, plump lips. One of them appears to have just recently healed, scar protruding and a fleshy pink color. “Has anyone told you how handsome you are?” You suddenly flirt, making König blush a deep red. “N-No…because nobody’s ever really seen my entire face,” König mumbles, leaning down a little so you could get a better look.

His eyes were still soft and sad, giving you a look within what makes him care so much; pure affection. König feels a deep connection to you, and very much wants to keep it. “Meine Liebe…” he whispers in a hushed tone, plump lips slightly quivering from apprehensive breathing, “please let me be the one to care for you. I will comfort you and give you all the love and attention you deserve.” Your eyes stare into König’s deeply due to the proximity, yet only for a moment as they slowly flutter shut once you lean in to kiss him. His own eyes widen, becoming much softer as they fill with a profound sense of comfort for you. The two of you were only strangers, on a new date after your previous one failed, and yet you managed to have a heart to heart.

König’s eyes would flutter shut, breathing becoming slightly heavy as he kisses you back. His hands find their way to your back, pulling you into his body. Your own hands do the same, and the need for oxygen pulls the both of you away gently. Your eyes open simultaneously, and a soft breeze brushes past the surrounding trees. “I’ve never kissed on the first date before…that was sweet,” you whisper softly against König’s lips. He gives a gentle smile, “Good. I’m glad you liked it that much…are you feeling better?” König speaks to you in a delicate manner, concerned for how you’re currently feeling in the moment after what he had said. You smile simply smile and give him another peck on the lips, “Personally?”

“So much better.”

[2knightt]

OH EM GEEEE . Could u do hcs abt Ponyboy having a crush on reader, and dally being the one finding out and actually knows the girl somehow😱😭

↳ i could live forever in a day with her₊˚✧

➬ ponyboy curtis x fem!reader

a/n ; dropped everything to write this. ponyboy lover 4life. ALSO, new layout?? we like? ALSO, IM WORKING AS FAST ON THE REQS I HAVE AS I CAN LMFAOO

you and ponyboy knew each other from school, sat next together in history.

pony always thought you were cute, a real looker as some would say.

you thought ponyboy was cute too and pretty smart too.

he’d always ask you to hang out just, not around the gang.

if he saw any of them while hanging out with you, he tries to flee the scene as fast as possible!

like one time you and ponyboy were just walking around town, talking and laughing!

then, two-bit turns the corner to go on the same sidewalk you two were on. so ponyboy, without thinking, grabbed your hand and pulled you into an alleyway.

he knew it was dangerous since the shepherds basically owned the alleyways, but he’d rather get a beating from tim than get a lifelong teasing from two-bit.

“woah pony—atleast take me to dinner first!”

“y/n.”

“yea-sorry.”

the gang definitely noticed that ponyboy has a little hop in his step since you two started hanging out.

and they press him for questions every minute of everyday.

“you look happy pony, what’s up?”

“..can i not be happy?”

“no.”

“steve, leave me alone.”

they all suspected that he met a special someone, but they never had solid evidence or a confession.

but dallas KNEW.

because YOU were happier than usual and coincidentally, around the same time ponyboys smile got wider.

dallas knew your older brother, so by association, he knew you.

so he had ZERO issue going up to you and asking you a question.

“y/n.”

“yea?”

“do you know ponyboy? ponyboy curtis?”

“mhm!”

all dallas did was nod his head and walk off with a smile.

you just stood there in shock?? what??

dallas literally stalks you for the next while just to see if his theory is correct.

he sees you guys meet up at the entrance of the school and go walking to the dingo.

he sees you guys laugh and talk and flirt!

YOU GUYS AREN’T SLICK.

so after a week of getting more and more confident that that was why ponyboy was happier, he talked to pony about it.

“so, who’s the lucky gal, man?”

“what?? nobody??”

“it’s y/n, isn’t it?”

he FREEZES and just slowly turns to face dallas with pure terror of his face.

“huh?”

“i asked if it was y/n. is it or is it not, man?”

ponyboy just runs off into his house and freaks the fuck out in his room😭.

when he sees you at school the next day the first thing he said wasn’t ‘hey!’ or ‘hi.’ it was,

“DO YOU KNOW DALLAS WINSTON?!”

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING??”

“well?? do you?”

“yeah.”

shit.

shitshitshitshit.

“why? is everything alright, pony?”

“has he asked you about me?”

“uh, yeah! last week he asked if i knew you.”

oh god.

ponyboy turns pale like a ghost, all the blood from his face is gone.

dallas has a reputation in the gang for not being able to keep secrets.

the bell rang and ponyboy rushed to class, thinking he could get his mind off of getting the living hell teased out of him!

but as fate would have it, he couldn’t stop worrying about it. even when he walked out of school to see dallas, waiting.

he hadn’t seen that grease anywhere near the school since he left.

“ponyboy!”

what does he want? he already found out who he likes, how could he want more information outta him?

“what d’ya want dally?”

“what, can i not see my favourite kid?”

“…”

“yeah you’re right. anyways—get in the car, gotta talk to ya.”

ponyboy gulps at the though of gettin’ a lecture from dallas, the kid who knew nothing about common sense.

but nonetheless, he got in the passenger seat as dallas started driving like he was being chased down by andre the giant.

he pulled into a fast food parking lot and turned to look at ponyboy.

“i’m tryna help you get with your little uh, girlfriend.”

he said, lighting a cigarette and offering the boy beside him one. he took it without a second thought.

“you’d do that?”

“i’m tired of hearing my friend complain about his sister rantin’ about you.”

ponyboy smiles into his cigarette as he puffs out smoke.

“well, what should i do? do i impress her? be myself? get tuffer?”

‘till the sun went down, the two of ‘em sat in two-bits car.

dallas was trying to help ponyboy as he started to go on about his, ‘what ifs?’

“what if she doesn’t like me? what if she’s been talking about another guy?”

“who else in the world is named ‘ponyboy?’”

after ponyboy felt confident in himself with dallas’s advice, they drove to the curtis house so ponyboy could get a good nights rest for the day ahead of him.

he had called and asked you to meet him at the park.

since it was ponyboy, you obviously agreed.

so you basically ran outta the house while your older brother shouted a reminder about your curfew.

when you got where, you saw ponyboy sitting on the bench with his leg shaking up n’ down.

“hey! i hope i didn’t keep ya waitin.”

“nah, you’re good.”

he spoke, patting the extra space beside him.

when you sat down, he gently put his hand on top of yours. that was a big shock to you, ponyboy never usually showed physical affection.

“y/n, when i say this, i want you to take it seriously.”

“why? what happened?!”

“nothin’!! but uh..i like you. i like you, a lot. i just really like the way you smile, your teeth just shine under any sort of light. an-and how your eyes never lose it’s shine, no matter what you’ve been through. i jus-i just like everything about you, y/n. it’s embarrassing. AND- it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.. i wouldn’t blame ya.”

you just sat there and stares at him, with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

ponyboy started to get worried, why ain’t you saying anything? did he say something wrong? did he not say enough?? did he say too much??

“i-i like you too, pony. i’ve been waitin’ to hear you confess. took you long enough, jeez.”

you answered, chuckling at your own joke.

ponyboy just hugged you, he was too embarrassed to kiss you now.

you guys stayed like that for awhile.

until you heard clapping and cheering behind you.

“WOOHOO!”

“DALLAS??”

“what the fuck?”

may 20th, 2023. 1:23AM.

but nah, srsly, tell me if the layouts good 😭

[fuqsketti]

First time doing this , im not even sure if this is how you request something sorry if not + this is not my firts languaje sorry again . I JUST CANT GET OVER THE THOUGHT OF COMFORTING MIKE WHEN HE FEELS INSECURE AAAAAA having the biggest Mike br rn

bother || mike wheeler x reader

a/n : tysm for the request! i hope u enjoy! &

@m1ke-wheeler tysm for the request awell <3

unedited

fluff mostly, bit of angst

Mike Wheeler, a loser, and his popular girlfriend, Y/n walked hand in hand to every class each day.

It was a ritual that almost everyone at hawkins high knew.

“Bye Mikey.” Y/n chirped as she pressed a kiss to his sharp jaw, his face turning red from the affection.

Even after all this time she still gave him butterflies like no other.

“See you.” He whispered letting go of her hand as she walked into her science class.

Mike sighed that she was now gone but continued on to where he was supposed to be, Mike hated this particular class since he had no one to talk to- who would want to be friends with him? His hellfire shirt scared off any potential peers.

Mike walked over to his seat and sat down, keeping his head held low. He was aware of all the eyes on him, but he decided to ignore them. He was used to it at this point, people who knew nothing about him judging him like they did.

Y/n had always told him not to give them power, not let them see they were bothering him.

So that’s what he always did.

“Why is she even going out with that nerd?” Her heard a girl whisper, he knew it was about him.

Don’t let them bother you.

“She has Andy and Chance chasing after her, lucky bitch.” He heard another girl reply- Mike’s stomach dropped, Andy and Chance? Weren’t those basketball players? They liked

Y/n? What chance did Mike have against the two most popular boys in the school?

No no, Mike don’t freak yourself out. Y/n loves you. You and only you.

Don’t let these girls bother you.

Mike tried to reassure himself but he didn’t feel much better.

Oh well, by next period he should be better. When he finally got to see her.

When he finally got to hold Y/n by the hand and take her to her next class, that simple four minute passing period would definitely lift his spirits.

“Y’know I heard Andy was gonna ask her out.” He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard that,

“No way. She’s dating-“ Girl number two paused ‘lowering’ her voice as she spoke.

“That guy.” Mike could feel their eyes bore into him, and if he could? He’d sink into the floor.

“And? You think Andy can’t take him on? The boys a stick!” The last part was whispered he’d guessed to try and save his feelings, She didn’t do a very good job.

“Stop that’s so mean!” Girl number one said yet still cackled like it was the funniest thing she’s heard all year.

“Whatever, i’m sure Y/n will come to her senses soon enough.” Mike finally poked his head up- seeing Mandy and Georgia, Y/n’s friends and two of the most popular girls in school. They were staring right at him.

They quickly looked away when they saw him look, giggling while doing so.

Mike felt sick, sick because they were right.

He was a freak. Y/n could have anyone she wanted- why did she choose him? And to hear those mean words from her own friends?

He didn’t think he was very attractive, nor very strong. She could have someone who was everything he wasn’t at the snap of a finger.

His thoughts began to consume him, he tried not to let it bother him but it was hard because it just made sense to him, so much so he forgot to pick Y/n up from her class.

“Mike!” Y/n called to him, he turned from his locker and watched as she happily jogged up to him.

It was then he realized he had forgotten.

How could he forget something like that?Leaving her all alone? What a good boyfriend he was..

“Hey Mikey.” she chirped, leaning against the locker next to his.

“Hi.” He said blandly, turning to face her.

Odd, but she proceeded.

“So, you wanna go see ‘The Thing’ after school? Heard it’s scary.” She smiled, knowing he had said he wanted to go earlier that week.

However he shook his head quickly, unable to look her in the eyes. He was almost afraid that if she could look into his eyes she could see everything he’d heard written through his expression and he was worried she’d agree.

“Uhm, no I can’t tonight- My dad! He wants to- take me to dinner…” He rambled, again looking anywhere but her.

“Oh.” She murmured, feeling a bit dejected. But who was she to not encourage him and his dad hanging out? They’ve never had a great relationship, and If Ted wanted to try and fix it she wouldn’t get in his way.

“You wanna hangout later this week then?” She asked afterwards, trying to look into his eyes.

He avoided it.

“I don’t know.” He muttered, looking down at the floor.

“You don’t know?” She asked, realizing he was now just downright rejecting her.

He shook his head and closed his locker then finally looked her in the eyes.

“I mean, I don’t know if I can- i’ll let you know.” He quickly said, then walked away.

Without a goodbye.

“Mike-“ She went to call after him but realized it was pointless, she decided to just go to class and ignore the tears forming in her eyes.

Maybe he was just having a bad day.

It’s not like he just dumped her.

Quit being such a crybaby.

Everything was going to be okay.

Right?

A whole week later of no contact.

Y/n was going insane.

She had tried to call to him multiple times in the halls only for him to blatantly ignore her or walk the opposite way.

She’d been calling his home, only to get his mom or dead air on the other end of the phone.

She had to trap him, so he couldn’t avoid her.

She thought he was doing that classic boy thing, where they are mean to a girl until they get the girl to break up with them.

And Y/n was not having it.

She rode her bike to Mike’s house as soon as school was out.

She threw her bike on the lawn, walking up to the front door with confidence.

Then she knocked on the door and waited.

Her confidence beginning to falter as she waited for what felt like hours.

What if he just sent her home?

What if he broke up with her on the spot?

Maybe this was all just a bad idea…

Nancy opened the door.

“Y/n?”

“H-Hi, can I see Mike?” Y/n asked nervously, rocking on her feet.

“Of course.” Nancy smiled, stepping back to welcome her in. “I think he might be in his room.”

Mike however was down in his basement feeling sorry for himself, he’d wrapped himself in a big blanket and was currently cocooning himself in his little fort.

He’d been reclusive since the day he heard those two girls talking, because everything just made sense.

Y/n was too good for him.

She truly was, Mike was just waiting for the day she’d knock on his door and break up with him.

Break his heart.

“Mike!” Nancy called down the basement, Mike scowled at how loud his sister was.

Groaning and rolling over- he sometime wished his fort would turn into a gate to the upside down. So he could just escape it all.

“You’re girlfriend is here to see you!” Nancy called- Mike felt his stomach twist, here she was. She was going to break up with him.

“Tell her i’m not home!” Mike shouted back, flopping to his side and tightening his blanket around him.

If he didn’t see her, technically she couldn’t break up with him.

“Ouch.” Y/n muttered, as she looked to her boyfriends sister. Nancy offered her a sympathetic look and shrugged.

Y/n sighed

“Can I go down?“ She asked,

“Be my guest.” Nancy said then turned to whisper in her ear. “Mike’s been in a funk recently, have fun.”

Y/n swallowed her nerves and made her way down, but was confused when she didn’t see Mike right away.

He was nowhere to be seen.

“Mike?” She called out- Mike stayed silent, realizing Nancy had let her down despite what he said. He quickly moved his foot that was hanging out of the fort.

Y/n heard the shuffle and made her way towards the fort- Mike held his breath the entire time.

But to no avail, Y/n kneeled down and moved the blanket that was covering the fort like a door.

“Knock knock.” She whispered, she melted at how cute Mike looked- all wrapped up in his little blanket,

“Y-Y/n..” Mike sat up immediately after seeing his beautiful girlfriend.

He was supposed to be avoiding her,

But he’d missed her face.

“Hey.” She sighed, scooting into the fort and letting the blanket fall behind her. Now it was just them, alone in the cozy fort.

“Listen, I don’t know what I did but-“ She started, already looking uncomfortable that she had to be having this conversation.

“If you’re gonna break up with me…don’t play the long game. Get it over with please.” She quickly said her eyes beginning to gloss.

“What?” Mike asked, letting his grip on his blanket falter.

“I’m going insane trying to figure out what I did wrong.” She rambled, the tears in her eyes making mike cringe-

What a good boyfriend he was…he made her cry.

“So if you’re going to do it just- do us both a favor and do it now.” She said as her voice quivered, her hand quickly wiping the tears that had managed to fall.

“Y/n no, I don’t wanna breakup with you.” Mike sighed shakily, reaching forward for her hand.

Y/n looked up at him hopefully.

“You don’t?” She asked.

He shook his head and began to feel himself get a bit choked up.

“No-No, the opposite I wanna uhm…” He began but found himself at a loss for words.

He wanted to be with her, that’s ALL he wanted.

But he didn’t feel good enough for her, she deserved someone better than Mike.

But Mike was selfish, he knew Y/n deserved the world and more- but he wanted her all to himself. It was a constant internal battle for him.

Y/n must’ve sensed him getting lost in his thoughts, she ran her thumb along his knuckles giving him a reassuring smile.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” She asked.

“I’m sorry.” Mike whispered, looking away from her.

She moved her head so she was in his line of sight again.

“Don’t say sorry, tell me why.” She whispered back.

She saw his face finally fall, his eyes watered as he looked absolutely defeated.

“It’s just-“ He started,

“I don’t know-“ He groaned.

He caught her expectant eyes,

“I don’t know how to- say it.” He admitted.

“It’s okay, throw some words out- i’ll put them together.” She assured him.

“I-“

“I don’t..” He couldn’t find the words.

“I want you to-“ He tried again.

“I don’t like how many guys…like you.” He blurted, then covered his face with his hand in embarrassment.

“You’re gorgeous and I understand that’s how it’s gonna be but-“ He continued then peaked through his hands.

“I don’t understand why you keep choosing me.” he finally admitted.

“Mike…” Y/n whispered, her heart breaking at the state her boyfriend was in.

“I’m just- Dorky.. and i’m not strong like the basketball guys, you deserve so much better than me.” He kept going, pouring his entire heart out to Y/n- He didn’t wanna cry, the lump in his throat made him sure he was going too but he didn’t want to.

His dad always taught him men don’t cry.

Beside that why would he cry? it’d only make Y/n feel worse and he was a bad enough boyfriend already.

“Mike.” She tried to stop him again, he was too lost in his head.

“Everyone knows you can do better, and sooner or later you’re gonna realize that too.”

“Mike!” She said with a loud voice making him finally look at her.

“Sorry.” He quickly whispered, wiping the few stray tears that fell.

She grabbed onto his hands, so he couldn’t wipe his tears any more,

“Who even put these things in your head?”

“People talk y’know?” He murmured, ashamed while sniffling lightly. He really hated crying in front of people, especially his girlfriend.

He couldn’t help by feel weakened by it.

“Well don’t listen to the ‘talk’, I want you. And only you.” She sighed out rubbing his knuckles.

“But why?” He asked again,

She grabbed onto his face, rubbing his cheeks as she looked at him sorrowfully.

"I...sometimes, I guess I kinda wish you could see yourself through my eyes Mike." Y/n whispered. pressing one kiss against his chin.

“You’re caring, you’re funny, you’re handsome. You make me feel like i’m floating on air.” She continued the praises, kissing his nose.

“And you ARE strong.” she then kissed his temple before moving to his ear to whisper,

“Strongest guy I know.”

“You could lose absolutely everything yet still keep going like nothing, I admire you for that.” She kissed his lips, the kiss they shared was drawn out- their lips missed each-other. Although it’s only been a week. When they pulled away their lips lingered.

“And you totally did kill like 2 demodogs so strong in that aspect too-“ she whispered her breath fanning his face as she joked- Mike was able to choke out a chuckle.

“Mike you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever met. Don’t let a couple of assholes ever make you feel otherwise.” She assured him then smiled.

“Okay? I love you. And ONLY you.”

“You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Mhm.” He hummed, the smile dawning on his face making the room seem to light up.

“M’ sorry. I wasn’t trying to bother-“ He tried to apologize for the past week but,

“You’re never bothering me.” She cut him off,

“Just tell me what you’re feeling next time. I don’t wanna think about losing you ever again.” She finished and wrapped her arms around his neck bringing him in for the first hug they’ve had in days.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, smelling her sweet perfume.

god did he miss it.

“I love you.” He murmured, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

“I love you more.”

[hikari-drkspc]

❅ “In The Name Of Love” ❅

character: yandere! shishio tsukasa [dr. stone]

warning: yandere, implication of m0rder, c0nfin3m3nt, poss3ssiv3 tendencies ; MINOR/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 1.2k

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 also this was a request from my main blog!!

“Tsukasa, remember what I told you before?”

You ask in a monotone voice, looking up at your boyfriend who was hugging you from behind.

“I remember every word you say, love, but you have to specify for me to know which one you’re referring to.”

He holds you closer to him and you could feel his warmth seeping in through you. If this were you from 3000 years ago, you would’ve enjoyed his warmth and think of how lucky you were to have someone like him as your lover.

But now, it all just seems so…suffocating.

Ever since he’s been revived back by Senku and joining the Kingdom of Science, he has become more protective and possessive of you.

No, that’s not it.

He’s already shown that kind of behaviour long ago. Maybe you didn’t realize it 3000 years ago because you two just started going out but even before when Tsukasa still was in charge of his own empire, you could’ve at least noticed the red flags he was giving.

He constantly asked you to stay with him and won’t let go of you almost until the end of the day. Even when you were about to try to do something else, he would grab you and force you to sit on his laps.

His grip on you was gentle, but it was enough to make you stay and not move around too much.

You haven’t told this to anyone yet, not even Mirai, but you were actually…dreading the time when Senku will petrify him and revive him back.

All those times when Tsukasa was still in his cryogenic state, everyone kept encouraging you to stay strong and reassuring you that Senku will revive him back soon.

And you would always just reply to them with a wry smile and a “I’m fine,” so as to not worry them.

You originally had thought you were going to feel depressed about this whole ordeal too. But you never did.

In fact, you felt so…free. Almost as if a big burden had just been lifted from your shoulders. You were happy with that.

You actually even wished Senku never found the Petrification Weapon. You truly enjoyed the freedom that you felt. You wished it would stay.

But in the end, nothing ever stays.  

Tsukasa was revived and you are back in his grip once again.

You hated every moment of it.

“About being too protective of me! I was just going to help Gen with some of his work. I know you’re protective of me because you’re worried, but can you please just let me do something to help others?”

You finally break free from his hug and turn to him. Your eyebrows are crossed, showing how displeased you are with the whole situation.

“But if I let go of you, you’ll definitely run away from me.”

Your eyes widened at what he said. You didn’t expect him to feel that way. All this time, you had thought that the reason Tsukasa was so overprotective of you might’ve been because he was worried…or maybe even because he wanted to have control of you.

You went quiet for a moment. In a sense, he’s not wrong. But to actually know he felt that way…it’s actually making you feel guilty.

“Tsukasa….I won’t run away from you, so don’t worry, alright?”

You wrap your arms around his large frame, successfully convincing him that you won’t do something like that. He returns the hug and pulls you closer.

“…Y/N, if you truly mean what you said, will you forgive me for what I’m about to do?”

You pull away and look up at him, confused.

“Sure?”

Not even a second after that, you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away from you. You could hear the loud throbbing from your neck after Tsukasa just striked it.

“W-wh…”

You mustered up what little strength you have left to let out a “What?” but even that has proven to be difficult. All you managed to hear was Tsukasa’s last words before you completely lost your consciousness.

“Do forgive me for doing this, love. You’re too pure to be tainted by this dirty world.”

~~**~~

You slowly open your eyes to see the darkness greeting you. You tried to get up but your whole body felt so weak and your limbs refused to work for you. You cursed under your breath and tried to adjust your eyes to the darkness. The place sure seemed familiar.

Then it hit you.

It’s the prison.

You tried to scream out loud but your voice only echoed throughout the prison without anyone responding. You could feel your heart beating rapidly like never before as soon as you heard a series of footsteps nearing you.

It’s not as if you recognized the footsteps or anything, but the way the pace is so calm and unrushed even after your scream of help convinced you that the owner of the footsteps knew you’re trapped in there. And they’re not willing to let you out anytime soon.

And who else would want to do such things other than your former beloved,

“Tsukasa…”

You hissed out his name while glaring at his broad figure towering over you over the cell wooden bars.

“I’m sorry you had to go in here, my love. Trust me, I don’t want you to be placed here either, but I have no choice.”

He tried to cup your cheeks in his hands but you quickly moved your face away from him.

“Tsukasa, whatever this madness is, STOP it. Do you think the others won’t know what you’re doing? Soon enough, you will—”

“They won’t. After all, you are considered dead in their hearts.”

He cut you off with those words and your eyes widened in horror at him. Your lips tremble and you try to hide your unease by glaring at him.

Before you could ask him what he meant, he spoke up as if he had just read your mind.

“I told them that you died. An animal attack, precisely. It’s completed with evidence and all. I did also get some helping hand from some people though. Couldn’t have done it without them.”

He stops for a moment to look at you who were frozen in your place and finally cups both your cheeks to bring it closer to him.

“This cell was built especially for you, back when I still ruled over my own empire. It’s located very deep into this cave, and no one would dare to come here.”

“You mean to say you’ve been planning to put me in confinement for a long time now?! What— I-”

Tsukasa looks at you, his eyes turning soft and he looks so melancholic. You almost snapped at him when you saw that expression. If anyone here is supposed to cry, it’s YOU, not him.

“I didn’t think it was necessary…until recently. When other people started looking at you as if you’re some kind of walking meat that they’re about to devour.  It disgusts me so much, and I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I made the decision to keep you safe here….and wipe those people out.”

Your blood runs cold at that statement.

Wipe those people out?

He couldn’t have meant that literally….right?

“W-why–”

You didn’t even realize your tears were running down your cheeks until you felt Tsukasa gently wiped them away. He gives you his soft smile that you used to know so very well, yet it felt so foreign now.

“Because I love you, Y/N. I always have and will continue to forever be in love with you.”

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

what do you think are the best places to go to if you're looking to build a sense of belonging/community as a queer person in a new place

Just go somewhere and keep going. You very well may not make any connections the first time or two or three or four. But like if you show up to stuff regularly, I've found you start to get to know ppl.

And maybe you make some connections but nothing strong and you arent enjoying yourself. So then I pivot. I'm lucky enough to live in a large city with a number of active scenes that have a good number of trannies in them so im not sure what to do in other situations

Also idk I'm very pro "having friends I don't fuck." Rules are meant to be broken, but by and large it feels so important to me to have ppl in my life I'm not getting down with. Idk I really started to find community in the T4T cruising spaces here. I'm a big personality and very very physically identifiable and frankly a bit of a showboat so ymmv but idk my experience has mostly just been "put yourself out there, are what happens"

[oyasuminto]

i see its lawrence loving hours so im gonna send a few things ^^

• showering with lawrence and how does it go

• just getting high in general with lawrence

• quiet, soft talks with lawrence

•lawrence realising you are jealous when he talks to others how would that go

Let's goooo finally finishing something I started like a year and a half ago baybeeee

showering with lawrence and how does it go

Showering with him can go one of two ways. (a) Extremely awkward. Lawrence is staring right at the wall with a bright red face, so red that you might worry the water's too hot for him, even though you're shivering from how cold the spray is. Any time you try to express concern you're met with a clipped demand to turn around and stop looking at him. (b) Lawrence is in one of his moods and can't keep his hands off of you. His icy, trembling fingers poke and pinch and prod and it hurts! He can picture your body properly dismantled broken down like livestock and drained of blood so perfect so empty. So just stop moving and stay. Still. He knows what's best. He knows how to care for you.

just getting high in general with lawrence

Lawrence forgets that not everyone has as high a tolerance as him, that the bare minimum to make him high and floaty could send someone else into the worst trip of their life. He likes how drowsy you get, how sleepy and dumb and unable to resist. So weak and fragile like a dead dry flower that crumbles at a mere touch he could take your life without a second thought. He could do whatever he wanted to you, and there would be nothing you could do to stop him. You're limp and empty like a corpse.

quiet, soft talks with lawrence

It's rare that you get a full-blown conversation with Lawrence. Most days it's more akin to him talking at you than with you. In fact, some days he seems annoyed at you for even breathing too loudly. Sometimes you get, lucky, though, and you catch him in a good mood (as good as Lawrence's moods can be, at least). He's not the greatest conversation partner, as he'll often just nod and hum at what feels like the right moments without actually offering much. Find the right topic (plants, art, mortality) and you may find yourself in an interesting back and forth. Lawrence can actually be quite philosophical when he wants to be, and though much of what he says makes little sense, you'll always come out of it with an interesting new outlook to consider.

lawrence realising you are jealous when he talks to others how would that go

He hates talking to people. He hates how loud they are. He hates their judgemental stares. He hates their unpredictable behavior. He hates all of it. Lawrence avoids the living like the plague. He feels so much more at home when surrounded by death and decay. So when you cling to his side, perhaps even try shooing off Lawrence's conversation partner, he can't help but feel a wave of relief washing over him. He doesn't even begin to expect that you may have been jealous. Hell, he may not have even noticed that you were trying to end the interaction prematurely. You may have to tell him straight-up that you were jealous. He won't entirely know how to react. He's never really seen himself as worthy of being jealous over. He's not worthy never good enough no-one can see him stop looking at him now. But... it's nice, having something need him so much, none of his other plants can need him the same way you do. His own special calathea.

[baby-yaga]

my dad died. march 17th, st patricks day.

i went to the hospital. i saw him, but hed already gone. my family was there, including my mom. she was working that night and stayed with my grammy and puca, uncles, aunt, and his ex-wife/current girlfriend.

weve been doing funeral arrangements. looking for pictures for the memorial. i picked out his coffin. he wanted to be cremated, and my brother and i wanted that as well, but his parents wanted a christian burial.

my mom and maternal grandparents made food to take to my other grandparents. i choose a flower arrangement.

i looked at pictures of him from before he and my mom divorced. i chose pictures where he looked handsome, or like he was having fun. i chose pictures where he was making silly faces and annoying my mother. or me.

i thought about how these photos are all i have of him now. i took every single one i could find, even if it just had his foot or hand in it.

i thought about how he was supposed to go through a parent dying before me. i thought about how he was supposed to show me what to do by example. my mom said, "theyre going through something i never have."

in a way, i feel like im planning a party. like a retirement, or a birthday, or an anniversary. ive cried dozens of times, for hours, but i still dont feel like hes gone. i keep wandering from place to place, because thats where im needed, and i keep making choices, because thats what im needed for, but i cant really feel like hes dead. i guess i dont know what thats like. ive never experienced a death of this magnitude before.

no one told me how to handle his death. everyone loved him. he was known for his intelligence, his sense of humor, his love of music and movies. he was adored by everyone who knew him, except for his 3 children. wed all more or less accepted that he was a shitty father years ago.

some people are born to be parents. i think my dad was born to be a fun uncle. my cousins apparently used to tell my brother he was so lucky to have him as a dad.

i loved him, and everything is different now.

i hated him, and nothing has changed.

im relieved. i dont regret a thing.

i feel like my hearts been carved out and i miss him.

ive always missed and not missed my dad. loved and hated him. accepted his absense in my life, and wished hed be my dad again.

i suspect my family will think i regret not seeing him more, or patching things up, but i dont. we had the relationship we agreed to have. but god, i wish it didnt have to be that way. i wish he wasnt dead. i dont want him to be. there were times where i thought it would be easier if he was. its not though. i wish he had agency in his absense from my life.

[possamble]

Do you have any songs you associate with the group and or a particular DunMeshi character? I have a few I associate with Laios and Kabru (mostly Hozier tbh) but been having a harder time for Falin, Marcille, and even Thistle.

the way this launched me into a day long project of making playlists lmfao

This one I haven't curated super well, but I think i put it in a general progression that makes sense. Unfortunately I have a very small range of music that I listen to so Falin just turned into my millionth Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson themed girlie LMAO

Highlights on this playlist for me:

"Let the Rain" is just an entire mood for post-canon Falin I think. the line that hits the hardest about her for me is "and I always felt it before, that the world was filled with much more than the drowning soul I've learned to be."

"Twenty-three" i know i know i know it's kpop and no one's gonna get the lyrics but I couldn't not put it on the list. it's literally about being 23 and not knowing what kind of "woman" you want to become and still feeling like you want to be a kid a little bit and wanting to be understood but knowing that you don't even understand yourself and feeling like you're running out of time because you're firmly in your 20's now

"Secrets" i know is incredibly personal to Mary Lambert but most of the lyrics really fit and that like... intensely joyful self expression is just so delightful and lovely and what i want for Falin in the post-canon.

"I Am Here" to me, is just the ultimate celebration of being alive, of being joyful and grateful and happy that you're a messy animal that can laugh and hurt. I think Falin would cherish being half-monster, the fact that it gave her a second chance at choosing to be alive rather than sacrificing herself for others and letting that be her entire story, and the freedom it gives her to keep living.

you have to promise not to judge me on this one. you have to. yes i went ahead and curated an entire playlist that has okay-ish transitions/flow between songs and thematically follows Marcille's journey through the story. i also put a bit of kpop on it but it FITS okay she's a girly girl!!!!

It's rough. it's really really rough right now and i'll probably come back to it but the concrete songs i was trying to build around are like...

"What is Love?" it's literally just a girly girl song about wondering what love might feel like. complete with daydreaming about romantic stories and hoping all that wonderfulness will happen to you.

"Men of Snow" okay i know it's Ingrid Michaelson again but hear me out. this song is so fucking heartbreaking. it can be taken in different ways but if you put in Marcille's context it's gutting. it's a song about mortality and the impermanence of everything set to an almost cutesy waltz-beat piano accompaniment.

"Que Sera, Sera" self-explanatory, I think. im lucky this cover is on spotify because it's such a perfect song for encapsulating the entire sequence where Marcille decides to become the dungeon lord. (the second iteration at the end of the playlist is happier, taking the happy and calm interpretation of "what will be, will be", and also includes the second verse about a "sweetheart")

"What Sarah Said" it's a song about being in the ICU waiting for news about a loved one while suddenly realizing that there's nothing you can do. i think almost every line in this song guts me about Marcille, picturing her waiting for Falin to wake up the second time. (it's also my very pretentious attempt at tying the playlist together by answering the earlier question. What is love? "Love is watching someone die.")

"The Last Snowfall" is just. Vienna Teng has been my favourite artist since I was fifteen and part of it is that she has this incredibly beautiful way of leaving lyrics impactful but ambiguous. This song isn't about being afraid of losing someone but miraculously getting a happy ending, it's just an exploration of that fear with a "what if" built in, and I just think it's such a good way of capturing how Marcille was prepared to lose Falin and that was so important, almost even more important than the fact that it ended up being a happy ending anyway. also I wish i could have put in the live version because it's insane

For Thistle the only recommendation I have is Bird Song by Florence and the Machine it's wonderfully eerie, i literally think it's the best musical depiction of that specific kind of guilty murderer anxiety of "the telltale heart" from edgar allan poe

[utilitycaster]

Im very very intrigued by your take on wisdom being the more arrogant stat. Is your thinking that wisdom is more ‘inherant’ while intelligence is typically earned? Please elaborate!!

Not quite about what's earned vs. inherent and more about where these types of arrogance draws the line.

In real life, while I’ve run into no small number of immensely arrogant academics, nothing will ever exceed the smugness of people who claim to be “empaths” while generally being insufferable black holes of energy and time. At least the academics are correct some of the time. Having good insight is all well and good but if instead of using that simply to inform your interactions with that person, you act like you know what’s best for them…that’s a level of arrogance that intellectual snobbery can never, in my mind, achieve.

To use the examples I gave - I think Percy is, to be clear, a hugely arrogant prick (honorific), and I think Keyleth is typically a more well-intentioned person than he. But I also think that Keyleth does, for example, tend to operate on a sense of legacy that presumes a thousand-plus year lifespan, and doesn’t really think through the fact that Percy is someone who’d be lucky to live a century and who has spent his entire adult life assuming he is the sole survivor of his family line. It’s not that Percy’s actions are good; but they are understandable, and he is coming from a very different place than Keyleth. And it’s Percy who’s able to point this out.

This is also true of Caduceus, who of the Mighty Nein has very little life experience, but does tend to assume he knows what’s best for people. He is, as I’ve discussed many times, a quietly deeply arrogant character. Many of his banger lines absolutely don’t land with the target - “rest well with your poor decisions” is hilarious but judgmental and completely misses Fjord’s objectives; his line to Trent flies so far from the mark he may as well not have said anything at all. He’s not wrong, per se…but he assumes everyone operates on the same principles he does.

I think while the flaw of intelligent characters is often to assume their knowledge surpasses that of other people, the flaw of wise characters is often to assume that their perspective is objectively the right one. And the thing is, an INT 20 wizard probably does know way more than other people, whereas a WIS 20 cleric probably doesn’t have a universal perspective. Wise characters often don’t know what they don’t know, and intelligent characters often do.

I should point out - in Worlds Beyond Number, this observation concerned a fey-influenced girl with anti-magic abilities who had a job with a weird and unpleasant hedge mage. Suvi, a wizard of the Citadel and essentially the adoptive daughter of someone important within the Empire, suggests she go to the Citadel for opportunities. Ame, a witch from a small town, opposes this in part because she (with a good insight check) realizes that the girl is not unhappy in her role, which Suvi does look down upon. The thing is…neither of them know what will be best for her! They both assume they’re right, and they’re both well-intentioned. But Ame fucks it up specifically by telling Suvi that she (Suvi) had opportunities this girl would not - which may or may not be true (it’s genuinely not made clear). Both Suvi and Ame make a ton of presumptions here, but Ame is the one who specifically assumes Suvi is wrong.

This also happens to tie into another common thing about WBN: While for narrative reasons I do expect the Empire to be a deeply flawed and well, imperial thing, I’ve already seen so much that’s just people knee-jerk hearing “empire” and losing any sense of nuance and analysis. It’s simply not possible yet to have any meaningful discussion of the actual flaws in the specific society in question. We’ve really only seen Suvi, who is, I should note, arrogant, but also at most 20 years old and a wizard prodigy who was orphaned at the age of six by parents who died for the Empire, and that should be taken into account. Which kind of gets back to the main point! A lot of people who I think would consider themselves insightful and empathetic tend to also go off gut feelings instead of actually exploring the reality of a scenario.

[phobia-sweets]

Well, it's time for a request!

Scarecrow (BTAS, Arkham Asylum, Arkham Knight - the last two separately, because his personality has changed a lot in two games), gender neutral S/O

Let's say that S/O died in front of Jonathan’s eyes, but after a week or a month they come back because they were resurrected using the Lazarus Pit or a similar method.

But they have some memory problems. They remember him, but vaguely, but it was enough to find him again. In addition, their memory is gradually being restored.

I'm still like having major writers block but this is better than not posting for another month SO HERE YOU GO :D (IM SO SORRY I HAD TO LEAVE BTAS OUT BECAUSE I GENUINELY COULD NOT GET HIM RIGHT FOR SOME REASON D:)

Arkham Knight!, Asylum! Scarecrow x reader

Warnings & Notes: could be ooc, im tired

KNIGHT

A Burlap-faced man was the only person you could remember when you woke up. Torn mouth, nonexistent nose, those milky eyes… You had questions. Who was that? Why did you have so many diosconnected memories of him? There was only one way to find out – Seeking him out. If you were lucky – he had answers. If you were unlucky, he didn’t even exist and you were back to square one.

You found yourself on founder’s island – carefully staying in shadows and hidden from the tanks – which was… to be honest, weird. This wasn’t the Gotham you remembered. Sure, it was rather restless every night, but… tanks? Really?

After maybe an hour of sneaking around, you found yourself in a warehouse. It was messy but almost comforting, in a way. You spotted a tall figure surrounded by vials and beakers full of orange, almost glowing liquids. You took a few wary steps towards him, careful not to startle him too much.

“You – I recognise you! I think.” You said quietly, narrowing your eyes at the man. “We have met, right? I remember you.”

“Hm…” The man hummed. “We have, in fact.” His gravelly voice caught you a bit off-guard, but it was… comforting. As he turned to face you, his expression was hard to read but you could spot a bit of a surprise in there. “We are… were rather close.”

“That so?” You asked. “I mean, that’d make sense since you’re… one of the only people I remember.” He walked up to you, taking off his gauntlet. “But I suppose we’ll see when my memories come back.”

ASYLUM

Despite wanting to stay in bed with your headache, you decided to go out in search of answers. You didn’t remember much, but you knew someone that could maybe help. In the middle of all the broken memories and pain, you had recognised a person. Not exactly who the person was, but judging from how often you thought about him, he must’ve been important to you, right?

The memories were messy to say the least – lots of laboratories, rust, chemicals… occasionally you’d remember something more, like the screams of someone or syringes. It was a bit intimidating, but this was the best chance you had at getting some answers, and so you set out to search for them.

The day felt slow – nothing seemed to wake up any old memories – well, except for an old warehouse. You slowly opened the door, walking in.

You spotted a man on the other side of the building – he was skinny and tall. You didn’t feel like he was a threat as he felt familiar, so you proceeded to walk closer to him.

“Have I met you before?” You asked, tilting your head at him. “I swear I have.”

“How…?” He looked at you, mouth slightly agape. “How are you…” He stepped closer to you, hesitating, before he put his hands on your cheeks, gently holding it. “Alive?” He finished his sentence, tilting his head at you – almost as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I, uh-” You hesitated, “I don’t know?”. You took a good look at his face. “To be fair, I don’t remember much in general.” You sighed to which he smiled, unable to hide his excitement any longer.

“How much do you remember?”

“Honestly? Almost nothing-” He tiled his head a little at your response. “But I can tell you’re important somehow.”

[weebsinstash]

Ok so finished watching Across The Spiderverse in theaters and here are my thoughts, under readmore so you guys won't get spoiled cause I'll mention plot shit

Nonspoiler review: these movies really are works of art, both visually and in sound. They draw on very relatable and powerful emotions of wanting to fit in, feeling like you belong, feeling like you're important, are you doing the right thing, are you living up to the expectations of others. These are the kinds of movies that could introduce people to the franchise and even if you're not into superheroes the emotion and visuals and writing itself is spectacular. Definitely a movie I could own and rewatch later

Now, here's my takes with more spoilers

-Miguel is actually so snarky and sassy. He is 100% done the entire movie and he's sarcastic or condescending almost every time he opens his mouth. He has a sense of humor it's just more mean spirited lmao "well you're gonna have to shut up and trust me" saying "how wonderful" sarcastically to Miles, being all "spiderverse? No thats dumb, its called the Arachnid poly multiverse, which, I guess sounds just as dumb"

-seeing him on the big screen really was like wow. He could be go from being sort of a dork to being so imposing and threatening, like, there was a small part where he steps closer to Miles as a silent intimidating gesture because hes so much taller, he could be so stone faced and cold when things got serious when Miles wasnt taking his warnings, but initially he was trying to be more compassionate, just, mwah, definitely going to help with any writing endeavors and characterizations of this man

-just seeing how the wristwatches and "daypasses" work is useful for any fanfic ideas I'm having ;) but holy shit you could just glitch until you die? I much prefer the concept of "Reader somehow whether being a mutant or an anomaly or just lucky gets transported to other dimensions instead or just back home"

-God just. Gwen's opening was amazing I don't even know how to describe it. When she's recounting her past and she's starting to talk about Miles while she's playing the drums and her drum playing keeps getting more and more intense, her music angry and frustrated and powerful as she keeps saying "and he's not the only one", speaking of his pain and isolation and how she feels connected to him, just, the way these movies write relationships between people and emotions is so human

-Spider Cat my beloved. LEGO Spiderman my beloved. Plushie Spiderman my beloved. Sun Spider is a fancharacter and got a speaking role. The thick, plus size, and fat spiders. Just the variety. It really is fun to imagine a Spidersona and feel represented kwim

-Jesus the intro to Mumbattan was insane. The way these movies constantly have you flying and falling through the air and falling through multiple levels and layers as objects whiz by, the music, the choreography. Just. The visuals and music the entire movie was insane

-HOBIE! definitely a fucking star. He's smart enough to build his own watch dude!! Love that guy. Definitely see him being in some stuff of mine as a helping hand if nothing else. Hobie helping Reader out during the YouTwo drama by offering you safe haven in his universe?

-I'm guessing Miguel has to give himself regular, spider nanomachine whatever injections? His powers kind of seem to have changed from his comic book a little bit. In the comics he has organic webs and was atomically spliced with spider dna but in the movie I think it's all technology idk? Correct me if im wrong, maybe they're red and glowing in the comics too 🤷‍♀️

-something something "smutty story where Miguel boyches a formula and turns himself into like a possessive horny borderline pure animal in heat and of course you're the lucky lady to stumble into him first"

-I got the bunny filter version of Lyla by the way!

Ugh this movie has me filled with so many emotions and also I snuck alcohol into the theaters and was on an edible gummy so I was FEELING this movie and just. Definitely two of my all time favorite movies

[noxexistant]

OKAY BUT WHY ARE YOU GONNA FREAKING TEASE US LIKE THAT. ARE YOU DIAGNOSING THE DELANCEYS OR NOT?!

IM SORRY i was too busy fully crying over the overwhelming response encouraging me to keep talking about my blorbos :’) i got very in my own head that i was being annoying, particularly about the delanceys, but hearing SO MANY PEOPLE ask to hear more is so wild n lovely n auuuuughhh i love you all

ANYWAY. we’re pulling the boys out of the blender to psychoanalyse them for once

cw; talk of food issues, abuse, substance abuse, plus all the usual stuff for my delancey interpretations

it’s rambling time

first of all, oscar.

he absolutely has symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, to start us off.

antisocial personality disorder, like bpd, can be caused both genetically and by abuse/neglect/instability during childhood, and details such as parents abusing alcohol or other substances can factor in. i headcanon both the delanceys’ parents to have abused alcohol, and particularly their mother to have been bipolar, which affects their upbringing and their own genetics/vulnerability to mental illness.

oscar is just so angry, all the time, as a child - nothing is fair, nothing is okay, and there isn’t even anything he can do about it. it’s this crushing sense of frustration and fear and helplessness. even at school, even when he’s really, honestly trying his best, he can’t pay attention. he knows he’s incredibly lucky to be going to school at all - morris’ll never go - but that just means he’s in trouble there as well as at home. he gets caned at school and then comes home to get beat. it’s not fair. nobody listens, nobody treats him well, but he has to look after morris anyway even though nobody’s ever looked after him.

the anger calcifies as he gets older. solidifies into this mass that sits inside him, taking up all the space for anything good. he becomes aggressive and impulsive, and learns to stop caring about other people because none of them can be trusted - enough people have proven themselves awful, his parents and everyone on the streets and snyder and the other kids in the refuge and weasel, so he’ll stop trying and trust they’re all the same. even someone who might not be a threat is probably worthless and useless, he has nothing to gain from doing anything but getting them out of the way, and oscar recognises his hypocrisy because he used to think similar things about morris, but morris is different.

morris is a part of oscar. he isn’t an outsider, he isn’t like anybody else, he’s the only thing in the entire world worth caring about, and oscar does. he doesn’t feel anything when he hurts or scares anyone else, at most feels a sense of satisfaction, but his stomach drops out when he accidentally scares or hurts morris, by shouting at him or moving too fast or doing one of the things that makes morris go empty-eyed and far away. oscar feels sick with guilt then - really, physically sick with it, like it’s surrounding the black mass of his anger and there isn’t enough space for it and it all just starts spilling out - and he doesn’t know how to cope. he doesn’t know how to stomach his love for morris. especially not when it has to sit next to all the anger like that. he tries so hard to keep the two away from each other, but he still gets angry at morris often, although nowhere near as often as he gets aggressive with anybody else. he hits morris sometimes, even though he really doesn’t mean to, and morris always says it’s okay. he says he’s not scared of oscar, not really, no matter what, because they’re them - the two of them, one entity. they’re entirely codependent.

morris has borderline personality disorder. which is also influenced by his autism - these two types of black-and-white thinking and sense of justice and general perception of the world, feeding into each other and creating a sense of isolation that keeps him away from everyone but oscar. oscar’s the only person who can be trusted, and morris loves him more than anything - way, way more than he loves himself, which is not at all. every part of morris, his moods and emotions and his worth and his willingness to do anything, ride wholly on oscar’s mood at that moment and how he’s treating morris. morris is far more likely to hurt himself if oscar is upset with him or not talking to him, which oscar knows, so once they’ve been in the refuge for a while he stops being upset with morris for any longer than the duration of one of his outbursts. he won’t let morris hurt himself anymore, will often encourage morris to hit him instead of hitting himself when he’s upset or frustrated.

still, morris is forever terrified that oscar will leave him just like ma and pa did, so he tries to be good. he tries to always agree with oscar, and keeps quiet when oscar’s having a bad turn, and he doesn’t get mad back even when oscar hits him, though that’s also in part because he can’t. the second morris gets hit like that, he shuts down - thinking about pa - and then everything’s gone for a few hours, maybe a day if it’s really bad. he’s lost months to dissociation before, whole years with only brief glimpses of the surface before he went back down, particularly while he and oscar were in the refuge. there’s things that scare him and upset him that he doesn’t understand because they’re parts of memories he doesn’t remember. he has little to no sense of self and no sense of self-worth, he has bouts of being sure he doesn’t need anyone but oscar and bouts of feeling so lonely he can hardly breathe. he feels empty a lot, but also feels angry and sad and desperately scared, and sometimes giddily happy but it never seems to last long. he thinks about dying a lot.

he also definitely has arfid. it’s a mix of a lot of triggers - his autistic sensitivity to foods, all his trauma surrounding food, and low interest in eating anyway because he can’t understand his own hunger cues and tends not to really enjoy food. he’s been malnourished his whole life, and largely still is, even nearing adulthood - he won’t eat like oscar does, wolfing down a whole plateful of whatever’s on offer, he can’t. he’s sick if he tries to eat food he doesn’t want, and/or has meltdowns. it terrifies oscar, who is just desperate for morris to eat at least enough to be healthy, but even oscar usually can’t convince morris to eat. he focuses on getting the particular foods that morris does like instead, and always keeping them so that he can get morris to eat a bite or two at a time throughout the day. on morris’ worst days, oscar will get him candy - his favourite, the only thing he’ll always eat - and let him eat that like a meal so he’s at least eating something.

that being said, oscar isn’t great about consuming stuff either. he likes alcohol too much, and he’ll do his damnedest to not drink a drop in front of morris but he’ll often sneak out once he knows morris is asleep and duck into a bar for an hour or two. he drinks like he’s trying to knock himself out, which he usually is. he likes a bar fight too - meaningless, usually, and no-holds-barred. he’ll glass someone for saying anything bad about his brother, or anything good about his parents. he drinks what his father used to, because he knows what it’s called and what it tastes like - he’d used to steal swigs from the bottles left out, when he was a little kid. he’d made morris try too, when he was the age oscar’d been when he first tried, but he’d spat it straight back out. oscar’d laughed at him, but now he’s grateful. morris hurts himself enough without adding drinking to the mix.

both of them have c-ptsd. morris has nightmares every single time he falls asleep for long enough, and doesn’t sleep much because of it. oscar has adhd - it influences his aggression and frustration, this constant burning restlessness that exists within him. he’s deeply impatient with anything he finds boring, which includes most people, and he most commonly “stims” with violence. the vast majority of morris’ stims border on self-harm, and he self-harms to stim too, but he has some positive stims - rocking back and forth, bouncing on his heels, stomping his feet, tracing the edges of objects, echolalia. he chews on things, including his own thumb, which he does both because it feels nice and because it hurts. sometimes that’s the same thing to him. he sucks his thumb too, especially for comfort, which ties into one final detail

morris age regresses, or does something adjacent. it’s this kind of undiagnosable no man’s land between his trauma and autism and developmental disability, but mainly just characterised by vulnerability and childishness. oscar’s the only one who really knows, mostly because he’s the only one who could ever notice, but he gets even more protective when he knows morris is more vulnerable - entirely nonverbal, just stimming and comfort-seeking. that’s when oscar sticks right by morris’ side, not getting restless or seeking out any fights for once, not talking for any reason other than to give morris something to listen to. just…looking after his brother, as best he can.

[thedawningofthehour]

for the dvd commentary thing - im not sure if it fits under 500 words or if u can even remember what u were thinking since u wrote it like last year , but the scene in arc 1 chapter 8 where draxum n donnie talk abt sun tzu n mythology n names ?

That is...yes, that's quite a bit longer, about 1300, but lucky for you I'm very narcissist and love talking about my shit. (and nobody else sent one in)

“You’ve read Sun Tzu.” Draxum is just looking at him, with a quirked eyebrow and a small smile on his face. For some reason, Donnie’s face flushes. “Well, yeah.” He looks down. “I’ve always loved reading, and it’s not that long. What, did you know him or something?” “He was a bit before my time.” Okay, he’s actually smiling now. It’s creepy. “But his work is quite illuminating.” “I’m surprised you’ve read it. He was a human, after all. A warring human. Aren’t you against that?” “Only fools believe they have nothing to learn from their opponents.” “So you’ll apply that to a two-thousand-year-old book, but not to modern humans?” Donnie tugs on his cuffs. “You know you missed, like, the entire point Sun Tzu was trying to make, right? His entire philosophy was that using violence is rarely the best way to get what you want and conflicts are better solved diplomatically.” “And he also said that when you do draw your bow, to draw your strongest arrow.” “Yes, but only if-” “Do you not think there have been attempts to address our conflict with the humans diplomatically?” Draxum says shortly. “You think you’ve seen the extent of this war. This has gone on much longer than you. Longer than me, even.”

So that took influence from a podcast I enjoy:

The whole thing is a fake talk show radio program from a fictional city with sort a sort of surreal-absurdist vibe going on. (one episode depicts a political debate that devolves into an argument over whether the crawdad people would vote for them and one candidate's treatment of the alligator king, for example) Also not the only reference to this podcast in this fic; this is where Tubby Dan's Barbecue and its various trials Bella mentions are from. He actually has a commercial later on in this episode.

I also have not been able to find the exact quote he uses. This guy might just be trolling me. But I figured, Donnie's fifteen, even if it is a fake quote that's the kind of mistake a fifteen-year-old would make.

“I’m just saying-” “No, you will listen to me on this occasion. Look around you, boy. Think of where we are, think of who we are.” “We’re a turtle and a goat-man in your lab. I can’t really look at much else.” The slap takes him by surprise. It doesn’t particularly hurt, but he feels quite confident by now in how far he can push Draxum before he uses physical force, and he hadn’t reached that point. “The Hidden City is under New York City,” Draxum says quietly. “You have more experience with the world above than I do, so let me ask. Does it feel like New York City?” Donnie shakes his head, his cheek still stinging. “Why do you think that is?” “I assumed it was because the Hidden City is a lot older? New York is only about three hundred years old, and almost everything up there was built in the last century,”

(noooo a typo)

(I literally just went back and edited a nearly year-old chapter right now, it's all fixed dw)

But for real, New York is an infant of a city. I know the Hidden City is under New York because the turtles live in New York, they've always lived in New York-but I wanted it to make sense why.

So my idea was that the Hidden City isn't so much under New York, but that New York was built on top of the Hidden City. They weren't even hidden at first-they just fucking lived there, cohabitating with the indigenous Lenape people, (or at the very least they left each other alone) and adapted when Europeans started their colonizing bullshit, gradually moving underground as more humans showed up and clashed with the Yokai, not understanding what they were. (The Lenape and the original colonizers didn't really know either, but there was an understanding of bro just don't ask questions that was gradually lost as more and more people settled there) Part of the reason it became 'gestures to all of New York' is because of the presence of the Yokai and all their nonsense. So basically-the chicken came before the egg, and the Hidden City is that chicken. Or one of them. You can decide whether they did the fucking or laid the egg.

“You are…correct in that observation, yes. The Hidden City is much older.” Draxum glances off to the side. “But think of what is here. Think of where it came from.” “Well, yes, the culture here is heavily East Asian. Even the name Yokai originated in Japan.” “Think about that. Why are so many Yokai from that area? New York is on the other side of this continent. It is not a simple journey.” “I assumed there was some portal.” “There was, but by design. Why did they come here?” “I’ve met Yokai that are definitely European.” “Very few. Think about why that is.” Donnie glances up. “Fewer Yokai in other parts of the world.” “We were actually more widespread in some areas. Why do you think you do not see our brothers and sisters from the Horn of Africa? The Maghreb? From the islands of the great Pacific? They existed, my boy. Ask me why they are not here.” Donnie is silent. Draxum looks over him, his eyes narrowed and cold. “The Hidden City is the last of its kind. There are no other communities like this elsewhere in the world, not anymore. So I will ask you again, boy. Why are there so many Yokai here from Asia? And why are the Yokai of the rest of the world not here?” Donnie remains silent. “Answer me, boy.” “I understand.” “I want you to say it.” “Humans killed them.” Donnie focuses on the ceiling. 

Another one of those 'try to make the lore of the fucking ninja turtles show realistic' decisions. I know the reason they're called Yokai and why there's so much East Asian influence is because they are Ninja and this is a show about Ninjas and the writers wanted to harp on that, but it doesn't really make sense from a lore perspective.

I mean, think of where New York is. Pre flying, pre Panama Canal, the Far East and New York couldn't have really been more far apart. To get from Japan to New York by ship, you had to sail across the Pacific, down the west coast of both north and south America, around Cape Horn, back up the east coast all the way from Argentina to the fucking northeastern tip of the United States. Or land in Washington and cross the entire continent on foot. (I know they have portals but that's not the point, okay?) Like, unless there was a really big, heavy traffic natural portal from the Hidden City to Japan it just doesn't make sense for that to be the primarily culture. Especially considering the Crying Titan, canonical father of all Yokai, is under New York. If there was going to be a higher concentration of Yokai in any peoples, it would be the native people of North America. Because that's where the goddamn empyrean is flowing.

But we see pretty much no obvious First Nations influence. We get some East Asian and some European, all under a heavily Americanized umbrella. I mean, yes, they did this because this is a show marketed to American children and that's what's recognizable to them, but still. I needed it to make sense.

And it gave me the perfect frame to hang a blood-soaked backdrop.

“So you do understand.” Donnie presses his lips together. “I don’t think all humans deserve to die for it.” “I don’t think so either.” He must look surprised, because Draxum looks down at him, amused. “What? Deserve is a rather heavy word. I’m not speaking of deserving. I’m speaking of survival. Humans and Yokai cannot coexist. One of us will destroy the other. I do not intend to allow my people to languish in the dark while the humans choke us out.”

This is really the cornerstone of Draxum's beliefs. Yes, he's acting out of hatred and anger, but I didn't want that to be his whole thing. That's not as compelling, and Draxum's intelligent enough to need a concrete reason. And I mean...from his perspective, relations with humans have always gone sour eventually. And his people end up paying the price for that in blood.

“What makes you so sure?” “It has been foretold.” “What, like a prophecy?” “Exactly. There is a prophecy that predicts-” “You haven’t read much Greek literature, have you?” Donnie shifts in his binds. “Oedipus? Cronos? Or are those guys too old for you too? Let’s see, we have the Mahabharata. Macbeth. Sun, Moon, and Talia. Have you read Harry Potter?” “What-” Draxum closes his eyes. “Child, what in the world are you talking about?” “Those are all stories of self-fulfilling prophecies. In every one of those stories, the actions taken to avoid the prophecy cause it to come to fruition. Cronos eats his kids because he was told one of them would overthrow him, but that just makes his kid angry enough to do it. Talia is foretold to be killed by a splinter of flax, so her father bans flax from the house. The first time she sees someone spinning flax, she doesn’t know what it is and pricks her finger due to her curiosity and inexperience.” “...Why would a splinter of flax kill her?” “I always assumed there was some context lost in the translation, because that part never really made sense. Anyway, the point is that trying to prevent the prophecy just made things worse. It likely never would have come true, if people had simply done nothing.”

I'd like to call back to Draxum's speech to the Shredder in the finale. He does his big dramatic betrayal because he realizes that the prophecy foretelling the destruction of the Yokai was not the humans, but Shredder himself.

But he conveniently leaves out his own role in that. Draxum brought the Shredder back. Even before factoring in the orb he gave Big Mama, pulling Karai from her hell dimension, even without the work he did recovering the cursed metal-like, even if the Foot got every piece of armor the could get their hands on without him, they still wouldn't have finished it because Splinter had the last piece. And there's no way Splinter would have allowed it to be taken. Even Draxum couldn't defeat him in combat. The only reason Splinter gave it up was to save his sons-the sons that were shown kicking the Foot's ass all episode. If it was just them, they couldn't have captured the turtles. No Draxum, no Shredder.

Which makes the entirety of Rise a self-fulfilling prophecy in itself. In trying to destroy what he thought was the greatest threat to his people, Draxum created the very thing that could end them.

“No, it would have been a regular prophecy, like Cassandra predicting the fall of Troy.” “So you do know your Greek literature!” Donnie almost smiles at that. “Potentially. But far more likely that the prophecy simply doesn’t come to pass, like the thousands of other prophecies that are forgotten. We only hear about the ones that come true, after all. And from a simply mathematical standpoint, some of them must come true.” “I understand what you’re trying to do, and I understand your point. But you are a child playing at war.”

Yeah, he doesn't have a good answer here. So he just dismisses Donnie's point. Reminds me of my own dad!

“Well, maybe you need a child’s point of view,” Donnie huffs, rolling his eyes. “Have you ever thought maybe you’re too far into this to see what you’re doing?” He expects Draxum to call him names again, but he’s quiet for an uncharacteristic amount of time. Donnie turns his head, seeing Draxum leaning against his desk, a very far-away look in his eyes. “I know I was,” he finally says, so softly Donnie almost doesn’t hear him. “But I realized my mistake. I pulled out of it before it was too late.” He turns back to Donnie. “That’s why you’re here.”

A callback to Cass telling Draxum that the armor would kill him. Because really, Draxum's plan was stupid. He barely knew anything about this armor, the Foot, why they were so willing to give him this power. Yet he didn't ask questions. He didn't do any research. He trusted the Foot-humans, who had no love for his people and no reason to help him. Yet he plunged in. He was so enamored with the dark armor's power, so obsessed and blinded by bloodlust that he didn't stop to think about any of this. Not until Cass basically slapped him across the face and told him to snap out of.

And then he realized. He'd almost died-and died horribly, feeding a leashless monster. That was how lost he was in his bid for power. He had a whole-ass personal crisis before deciding to take up kidnapping as a hobby.

Donnie raises an eyebrow. “Kidnapping me was the less extreme option.” “Correct.” “I mean, yes, kidnapping one turtle isn’t as bad as unleashing a literal demon, but like…you couldn’t have found some middle ground?” “You’re my strongest arrow,” he replies simply. And it feels like someone’s dumped ice water over him. “Don’t be angry. I tried to compromise with you. I would have let you keep your name and your family, but you’re the one who refused to meet me in the middle.” Donnie just looks off to the side. “Think about it.” Draxum approaches his table, reaching out and grasping Donnie’s shackled hand, fingers curling around him like a claw. “You’re going to help me protect Yokai and mutants alike. We will do great work together, and when I lead my people into the sun with you by my side, your name will go down in history.” He does a little smile at that, like it’s a pleasant thought. “You just have to tell me what you want that name to be.”

I was kind of hoping someone would catch onto this. At this point, Draxum is still considering Donnie (or rather, his fantasy son who doesn't have a name yet) to be an accessory to his power. Like yeah, he wants him to be revered and rewarded after the fighting is done, but when the history books are written he'd be a chapter in Draxum's book. The next time he mentions the whole 'lead our people into the sun' thing, he says they'll do it 'side-by-side' because he now considers Galois an equal, and as time goes on he will eventually see himself as the person meant to help Galois on his path and set him up as the true savior of the Yokai.