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awwyeah107 · 10 months

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Forays Into Fandom

I felt it would be appropriate for one of my first posts on Tumblr to be about fandoms, and I’ve had this bouncing around in my head for a little while, so I wanted to share it. Basically, it’s my timeline of discovering fandoms and hyperfixations on media as well as some thoughts on my experiences with fandom recently. Also, heads up, it’s pretty long XD

One day, when I was 8 years old, I was at over at my best friend’s house and found a book with an orange cat on the front of it. I was intrigued, and I asked to borrow it. From the very first page, I was captivated.

Thus, I was introduced to my first real fandom: Warriors (aka Warrior cats).

And the rest is history.

Over the years since then, I’ve had the joy of discovering many more fandoms. I was in many fandoms before I knew what the term was, and I wrote fanfiction and drew fan art before I was aware that those were things other people did.

Around the time I first found Warriors, I started discovering more fandoms, most of which were book-based and of the fantasy fiction genre. This kicked off what one might call my “fantasy phase,” which I would say is still technically going. Back when it started, however, it was marked by devouring any and all (mostly) age-appropriate fantasy books. As I said, I don’t think my fantasy phase ever stopped. But that time of my life was when my love for all things magical and mythical came alive. My tweens brought more fandoms, including bigger/more well-known fandoms like Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, and Avatar: The Last Airbender, as well as smaller fandoms like the Books of Beginning, the Land of Stories series, and Michael Vey.

The next major milestone in my fandom life came when I started watching the TV show Once Upon A Time. OUAT was the first fandom TV show I ever seriously watched, and it introduced me to my first OTP: Captainswan. I don’t think I have ever fangirled harder over a fictional couple nor shipped characters more intensely. I literally put their wedding anniversary (the date their wedding episode aired, that is) on my Google Calendar: May 7th, 2017. I love Once Upon A Time so much; I love how hopeful it is, I love the fantasy elements, and I love the characters and their relationships.

Then, my Tolkien hyperfixation started when I went to go see The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies in theater. It was my first Tolkien movie, and although people often criticize The Hobbit movies (myself among them), I will always be grateful for that film. It drew me into Middle-Earth and kept me spellbound throughout the entire movie. I had read The Hobbit when I was younger, for a book club, so I was generally familiar with the story: I knew Bilbo and the dwarves journeyed to Erebor to take back the mountain from the dragon Smaug. Despite the changes in storyline that they made for the movie, I was able to follow along enough to enjoy it. This led me to watch the other Hobbit movies and some behind-the-scenes/making of videos.

Right around the time I started watching Once Upon a Time and saw The Battle of the Five Armies, my mom started letting me use her Pinterest account (and then shortly thereafter, she let me create my own). Pinterest was my gateway into social media, and more importantly in this case, fandom media. I knew Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook existed, but I didn’t know of Tumblr until Pinterest. I was surprised and delighted to find that people posted online about books, TV shows, and movies that I enjoyed. Tumblr posts on Pinterests were how I learned of the term “fandom” in the first place. They were how I learned of the “golden age of Tumblr,” of SuperWhoLock, of iconic Tumblr posts (e.g., none pizza with left beef), and of fandom overall.

This marked another turn: I stumbled across a piece of fanfiction. And I was enthralled. Most of my reading was Hobbit and Captainswan fanfics. However, I felt quite guilty for reading it, because my parents had told me that I shouldn’t browse any websites they hadn’t approved first. I didn’t ask them because I was scared they would say no, since they didn’t know what it was. So although I enjoyed reading fanfiction, I felt like I had to hide it from my family. Finally, after two weeks of summer camp and vacation where I didn’t have access to any electronic devices that I could read fanfiction on, the habit was broken, and I stopped reading fanfiction. However, I dreamed that perhaps one day, I could admit what I had done to my parents and I could read fanfiction again. (More on this later.)

Because I needed something to fill the gap that fanfiction left, I decided to dive into Tolkien’s stories. I read Lord of the Rings and then took on The Silmarillion. Those took me into my freshman year of high school, along with Marvel movies—I started watching those with some of my friends, and Marvel was one of my top hyperfixations for quite a while. I also discovered a few other fandoms in high school that I really enjoyed: two of the more well-known ones would be Fablehaven and The Selection (the latter was my first taste of a romance-focused series). I was still an avid Once Upon a Time fan, though my hyperfixation on it waned when season 7 aired (I didn’t watch past the first couple of episodes because the majority of the main cast was gone and the overall story was different).

In late high school, after Once Upon a Time had finally ended and my Marvel hyperfixation started dying down, I began watching Doctor Who. I had always thought the show sounded interesting, but it wasn’t until a friend of mine insisted I sit down and watch the first couple episodes with her that I decided I wanted to watch it. (I have never, ever watched a show for which I have gotten SO many spoilers. Never. Most of that was definitely my own fault, because I had seen lots of SuperWhoLock content on Pinterest and I wasn’t super careful about avoiding spoilers once I started watching the show, but occasionally I would just run into something on social media or a friend would tell me something. I still haven’t fully caught up on the show, lol.)

When I started college, I found a roommate who, among the many amazing things about her, shared a love of fandoms with me. We had a lot of big fandoms in common, but also some smaller or less-known ones too. Because of this, we have had tons of discussions about different fandoms, watched TV shows and movies together, and freaked out about new announcements concerning fandoms. To this day we still do those things; we’ve been sending each other stuff about the upcoming Percy Jackson TV series, and we watched the first two Doctor Who 60th anniversary specials together.

Another turning point came when I discovered the band Greta Van Fleet in 2021. Before this, I had enjoyed different bands, but I had never really found a favorite band, so to speak: one where I liked all the songs, where I knew all the members’ names, where I kept up to date with their tours, where I watched interviews with the band, where I knew lots of background info about the band, etc. Most times, I heard a few songs from a band and went “They’re cool, but I’m not hooked.” This time was different. I really liked their first song I heard, Talk On the Street, so I decided to check them out. I listened to their songs and thought, wow. Their songs match my taste in music SO well! I was like “YES, I’ve found a band that plays the exact kind of music I like to hear!”. Another reason I liked the band was that the songs were not all about drinking, drugs, and sex. Most of them were about other, more philosophical things, without any loss of rock ‘n roll. This, I would say, is really where music and fandom collided for me. A band fandom (“banddom”?) definitely feels different than a media/fiction-focused fandom, because these are real people, and as such, I’ve drawn different boundaries in terms of how I engage with it. My hyperfixation on Greta Van Fleet has calmed down a bit, but they still have a very special place in my heart.

My newest fandoms are Inkheart and Shadow & Bone/Six of Crows, which I discovered in 2022. Inkheart was one of the books that had been on my to-read list for forever, and I finally decided to read it. I absolutely loved it (and the sequels); the style really took me back to the start of my “fantasy phase” when I was younger. As for Shadow and Bone, one of my friends persuaded me to watch it, and one night when I didn’t have any schoolwork, I decided to watch a few episodes. After the third episode, I was invested enough that I had to finish the first season, and then I read the books before the next season came out. I hadn’t realized before what a large fandom the Six of Crows books had, but upon reading the books, I immediately understood why—the character arcs and relationships are so compelling, and the setting and plot aren’t what I would expect of the typical fantasy world in fiction. (Interestingly, Inkheart and Shadow & Bone/Six of Crows are the first two fandoms I have published fanfic for!)

Sometime during college, I started reading fanfiction again on and off. And I found myself comfortable with admitting to my parents/family that I used to read fanfiction, and that I read it now. I haven’t discussed it with them further, and still don’t really talk about it much (though sometimes I'll tell my sister about fics I’m reading). January 2023 saw me getting back into reading Tolkien fanfiction, especially Tolkien fanfiction. I found some of the old fanfics I had read during my first fanfiction era, and I felt like I was 14 again, reading the stories I had read back then. I reached out to one of the authors, and it gave me so much joy to tell this person, “Hey. I couldn’t tell you back then, but I read your stories years ago and they’re some of my favorite stories. Thank you.” I’ve kept reading Tolkien fanfiction since then, and weirdly enough, it prompted me to read The Silmarillion again (it was my third time through, and it was the easiest time I’ve had reading it by far). I’ve been in the grip of the Tolkien fandom all year, and I’m planning on sharing a “Fanfiction Wrapped” soon (well, it’s going to be a fic rec list, but now I’m thinking of doing a real Fanfiction Wrapped…lol) for my favorite Tolkien fics I’ve read this year, as well as the handful of fics for other fandoms I discovered in 2023. I’ve found so many great stories and wonderful authors this year, and I want other people to get to experience the joy of new stories and authors too. Plus I love finding fanfic rec lists, so I thought it would be fun to do a rec list of my own.

For so long, I didn’t realize how much of a community aspect there is to fandom—and I think that’s because my parents kept me safe from the internet. I understand that and I will always be grateful that they kept me protected from really nasty, dangerous things that are present on the internet. I don’t feel any resentment towards my parents for that whatsoever. But now, as an adult in my early 20s, I’ve discovered that I can make my own choices about the community side of fandom and how much I choose to participate in it. It’s still something I’m pretty tentative about, at least when it comes to posting publicly; I’m very aware that anything that is put on the internet may very well be there forever. Public Discord servers feel a bit more private, because you have to join them to see the conversations taking place there, but they’re still public. Especially at this point in time, internet safety and privacy is quite important. However, you can still have fun while being safe, so that’s what I’m hoping to do. I’ve created this blog, I’ve joined some public Discord servers for fandoms, and I’ve even posted fanfiction. I have no idea how much further I’ll go into the online world of fandoms and fandom community—or just into the world of internet interaction and posting in general—but I’m interested in seeing where the journey will take me.

And who knows, maybe there’s a kid (or teen, or young adult) out there like me, who is tentatively taking their first steps into fandom and figuring out what this is all about. If that’s you, hello! And if not, hello to you too!

At the start of the year, I discovered the song “Still Into You” by Paramore through a YouTube compilation of Hobbit TikToks. (Yes, I know, I’m literally 10 years late to the game on that song, lol.) But it made me think of all my fandoms that I’ve had hyperfixations on and that come up now and again, like the Tolkien fandom.

So, to my fandoms: after all this time, I’m still into you :)

#fandoms #my fandom journey #hyperfixations #Warrior cats #Once Upon A Time #Tolkien #Marvel #Doctor Who #Greta Van Fleet #banddoms #if that's even a word #Inkheart #Six of Crows #Shadow and Bone #Grishaverse #fanfiction #fandom community #discovering fandoms #to my fandoms: after all this time‚ I'm still into you

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ladystrallan · 2 years

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Once Upon a Time season 2 thoughts

I’m rewatching OUAT and I wanted to share some of my opinions on each season!

- “are the nuns still nuns or can they… y’know date? Don’t say it’s me asking” Dr Whale you rascal

- Rumple x smashing glass: the real otp

- Rip Charming’s mom, you kinda remind me of Hercules’ mom

- Ok I kinda like Dr Whale now

- Regina it’s been DECADES you need to move on from Daniel

- I ship Emma and Neal so hard

- Wow the introduction of captainswan AND swanfire in one episode???

- Nooooo Belle crossing the town line :(

- This arc was TRAGIC

- NO NOT THE CHIPPED CUP

- Ugh I hate the Greg and Tamara arc

- Ruby x whale??? Why do I kinda ship it

- “What’s his name?” “Baelfire” “A STRONG NAME” what a delivery

- Robert Carlyle is the best actor in the cast

- Nooooo he just wanted to be a good dad

- Okay I’m really starting to not like Regina

- Idk why she is mad at snow and not cora, THE ACTUAL PERSON WHO KILLED DANIEL

- Snow’s mom: coughs into a handkerchief, me: SATINE

- Drink every time rumple says “bae”

- The casting of young snow was spot on, their mannerisms are so alike

- He called him papa… I’m crying

- NO IT WAS CORA

- Literally why does she hate Eva so much

- Regina you’re on the wrong side, killing daniel was part of her ten step plan to make you queen

- She just threw mrs patmore out of the window

- Not Tamara

- Pettiness runs in the Mills family

- Cora: murdered eva because she tripped her once years before

- Regina: wants to kill snow and everyone close to her because she didn’t keep a secret when she was TEN

- EW cora x rumple

- Their vibes are so gross

- Imagine if they had a kid… I can’t

- Screaming crying throwing up

- Rumple talking to Belle on the phone :(

- That was so sad

- RUMPLE AND NEAL

- THIS IS SO SAD

- Ooh snow tricking Regina

- “Any baby I have… it won’t be yours” yikes

- The amount of mommy issues in this show…

- 2x17 I hate this episode

- “You always pay your debts” is rumple a lannister?

- I hate Greg/Owen so much you have no idea

- Wooden august looks rough

- Like it’s not terrible but it’s not good either

- The dragon: is a magical powerful man, also the dragon: gets killed by a taser

- THE TASER SHOULD NOT HAVE AFFECTED AUGUST BECAUSE HE IS MADE OF WOOD WHICH DOESN’T CONDUCT ELECTRICITY

- Noooo why did blue turn him into a little boy and not a hot guy again

- GREG AND TAMARA LEAVE RIGHT NOW

- I can’t decide which I hate more cora x rumple or greg x tamara

- Both have such gross energy

- REGINA YOU ARE RUINING RUMBELLE

- “I can’t focus on my spinning with all your crying” lol

- Not Lacey

- Rumple about Belle/Lacey: oh no she’s not wholesome anymore

- I actually like the Lacey episode

- I don’t remember having liked it but I do now

- The sound rumple makes when he sees the prisoner is gone lol

- Wingman charming

- “I’m so sorry about your dress…” why don’t you take it off? ;)

- Did they recast Robin Hood? That’s weird

- She’s into him being evil…

- Rumbelle is so cute omg

- “Jail cell? I don’t think so” lol

- “She’s the evil one” GIRL YOU JUST KILLED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE

- I’m sorry I just can’t get behind Regina

- She’s just so manipulative and has zero regret for everything she’s done

- The Regina torture scene was TRAUMATIZING to middle school me

- “Is it magic?” “No… it’s science” THAT’S DR WHALE’S LINE YOU CAN’T STEAL IT GREG

- Bae fanficed himself into Peter Pan

- BAE NO

- Ugh Greg and Tamara are the worst

- NEAL NO

- Yay belle is back

- Memorable lines: “it’s delicious, cheesy and doesn’t lie” “no… it’s science” “love is weakness” “bae”

How I feel about the characters this season

Love: Rumple, August, Belle

Like: Neal, Emma, Charming, Mulan, Ruby, Archie, Dr Whale

Neutral: Hook, Snow, Aurora, everyone else in Storybrooke

Dislike: Regina, Blue

Hate: Greg, Tamara, Cora

Season rating: 5/10

I hate hate hate the whole Greg and Tamara plot, also Cora x Rumple grossed me out, but there was a lot of Rumbelle content (it was really sad though)

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captainodonoghue · 2 years

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Hi... you have been a fan longer than me... I believe I've been a fan for almost 4 years now.

And if I reveal that I wrote my first fanfic (not ouat) back in 2003 that will make me an "older" fanfiction writer 🙈 but I do love to challenge myself w various writing skills and change genres etc. Or making my own original novels too (still nothing serious)

Question:

If you had to pick the most romantic setting/act/scene you could ever imagine our captainswan would ever venture out on, what would that be????

That's still a lot of years, Santa! How did you find out about OUAT and Captain Swan? Through tumblr?

What kind of original novels do you write? That's so awesome! What was your first fanfic about?

The most romantic setting? I'm always thinking about different romantic scenarios but right now I feel like my mind is blocked!

*a few hours later* (literally. i left to run some errands and came back... with inspiration! haha)

At first I thought of a Christmas -y background with snow, lights, etc but then it hit me. Killian and Emma on the Jolly Roger. It's night and the moon is at its waxing crescent phase (or no moon at all) so there's not much light. You can clearly see the stars, the galaxies etc. (I love it so much when it's dark outside and you can see the night sky in all its glory! It's so magical, it's like it's painted with gold dust.) They're slow dancing, no music just the sound of the sea and Killian humming. And then Emma tells him that she's pregnant (with Hope) or maybe it's set earlier in their relationship and that's when they exchange their first 'I love you's !!!

(actual representation of me right now! haha)

#csss #csss 2022 #CS Secret Santa 2022 #Anonymous #A litte pirate in my askbox

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motherkatereloyshipper · 2 years

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I posted 267 times in 2022

That's 42 more posts than 2021!

47 posts created (18%)

220 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kmomof4

@jrob64

@jonesfandomfanatic

@elldritch-horror

@apiratewhopines

I tagged 102 of my posts in 2022

#captain swan - 22 posts

#ouat fanfiction - 16 posts

#ouat antibagelfire anti neil - 8 posts

#csnlny22 - 7 posts

#fanfic - 7 posts

#reylo - 6 posts

#captainswan - 5 posts

#i guess i'm writing a cookbook - 4 posts

#reylo fanfic - 3 posts

#captain swan fic - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i once wrote a fic where the magic system used calories to explain why regina could eat lasagne all the time and look like lana parrilla

My Top Posts in 2022:

“Hello, Son.” There seemed to be a genuine smile on the Elder Jones’ face as he greeted his son. This was a surprise, considering that the last time Killian had seen him he had been gutful of Killian’s knife and bleeding out on a midnight dock. But the approximation of morning was not done surprising him as another voice from the past sounded from behind his father.

“Hello, little brother,” Liam Jones smirked.

“Younger,” Killian half-whispered as he looked out at the echoes of his past.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma smiled awkwardly, smoothing her tank top into her jeans, Killian’s ring bouncing between her breasts as she grabbed out cereal, milk, eggs and grapefruit. She squeaked, “Hi!”

Milah just waved before pulling the laces on what was clearly one of Killian’s pirate shirts a little tighter. And fetching coffee cups from the cupboard.

Two men with markedly similar faces bore markedly different expressions. Brennan smirked, doffing his cup to his son, Liam’s face was a picture of revulsion.

Killian, as always fell back on bravado, “May I introduce Emma Swan, Sheriff of Storybrooke, and Princess of Misthaven and Milah, Guardian of the children of the Underworld and ex-wife of the Dark One. Emma, Milah, meet the Jones Boys, my Brother Liam and my Father Brennan.”

Milah laughed, “He always has been dramatic. Emma, love. Tell me there’s more coffee.”

Emma puffed out a soft laugh, “I’ll start another pot”.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma handed out coffee and Brennan took Killian out to the porch.

Liam stared at the women in front of him, his disgust poorly concealed. “So, which of you is responsible for the man he became?”

Emma looked at Milah, Milah looked at Emma. They both looked at Liam.

“You,” Emma stated flatly.

“You,” Milah agreed with a nod.

“How exactly did I make him a morally loose pirate?” Liam sneered.

Milah started, “You left him, you died.”

Emma shook her head, “He’s so much more than just the pirate, and that's thanks to you too. He’s honourable, often braver than he should be, proud, arrogant, funny, brilliant, selfless, and a morally loose pirate. You died Liam, you left him because, and no this isn’t fair, but you valued your obedience to your king over him, after that he vowed to bend no knee to royalty.”

Milah barked out a short laugh, “Well, until you.”

Emma admonished her but the dimples on her face gave away her amusement.

Liam spoke hopefully to Emma, ignoring Milah, “So is he lost in the embrace of the Dark Ones cast off or has he turned his back on piracy and sworn the Jewel to Misthaven?”

Emma closed her eyes for a moment before taking a breath, “That isn’t what she meant, Liam.”

Liam’s face flushed darkly before Emma continued.

“We’re sworn to each other, he’s my true love, I‘m here to give him half my heart and bring him home. Milah was his love centuries before, when she was murdered it completed his descent, he was so lost for so long." Emma gripped Milah’s hand for a moment. “His journey has been… you couldn’t possibly comprehend what he has been through, he sacrificed himself to save everyone.”

“So what is this then?” Liam’s pout was now more sullen than judgemental.

Milah smiled her pirate smile, “I’d say that’s none of your fucking business, Captain Jones. Captain Jones the younger survived you by three-hundred-years and who and what he chooses to do is really none of your concern.”

Emma fist-bumped Milah before they rounded on the gobsmacked elder brother of their love. Emma stared deep into those oh-so-familiar blue eyes, “Now why don’t you cut the crap and tell us what you want.”

—------------------------------------------------------

Killian sat on one side of the small table on the porch. Putting down the coffee cup, he gestured to the other wickerwork chair, “Take a seat, fill me in.”

See the full post

27 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

I commissioned this from the incredible @alineartiis as a companion to my piece flying Solo, my first (slightly offbeat) Reylo fic.

32 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Lost Girl : Found

Chapter 1 of my Neverland New Year 2022 offering.

Firstly a massive shout out to CSColifer who is my writing buddy, editor and muse, who made a whopping 500 edits on this 10k fic, they are my saviour.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0ISbhObKzpx5LKmXH0xe9k?si=78daf5c1448c437d

Chapter 1 is song 1 Lost Girls by Lindsay Stirling, and I recommend that if you are going to enjoy a beverage with this fic you consider a mug of jasmine tea with a shot of Patrón Silver.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36341095/chapters/90600769

32 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

The first chapter of my entry to the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2022.

Beta'd beautifully by @jonesfandomfanatic

There will be actually good art later.

Chapter One

“So, you’ve been with my former lover and my son, is that right?” Milah pursed her lips.

Emma hadn’t been prepared for this, “Huh” was all she could say.

Rumplestilstkin smirked, “I’m sure we’re gonna laugh ourselves sick about this one day."

Milah filed behind Rumple and to Emma in a low voice conspired, “But not until he’s buggered off and we can get a drink.”

Emma smiled, this was an odd place, and that was Neal’s grin. The one she'd fallen for, the one full of mischief and promise. And there was the woman of fire Killian had spoken of. The one so strong that he still wanted to save. She saw herself there and smiled at the thought that she and Killian had fallen in love with the same grin.

They walked through the town, Rumple studiously ignored the soft talk between the two women.

Milah asked, "Did Bae still love to draw, when you were together I mean?"

Emma gave her a tight-lipped smile, "We were on the run, his art form was lock picks."

Milah smiled a vagabond smile, "There's a romance to that, what was he like, as a teenager?"

Emma shrugged, "I wouldn't know, he was in his mid-twenties, well, he looked mid-twenties, apparently he was closer to 300 by then, fucking Neverland."

Milah looked confused, "Rumple said… oh... oh gods no," she put her hand on Emma's shoulder, halting them in place. "Why did you have your baby in prison Emma?"

Emma looked at Milah with tired eyes, "It's a long story," she glanced at Rumple. "Let's just say, in some things he took after his father, but Milah, when he was brave, when he was a hero, he wore your smile."

"You've a kind heart, I can tell you’re trying to hide the hurt of it," Milah swallowed and glared at Rumple who was staring at his watch.

Rumple glared back, "I don't care if Hades puts in an extra few licks on your Pirate ladies, but I assume you do."

Emma looked up in confusion "The way in is here? So, what, the gates of hell are in my house?"

Rumple smirked, "As was the stone of Excalibur. The Pirate has a knack for targeting real estate with hidden value."

Milah whispered to Emma with a waggle of her brows that made Emma’s heart ache. "He's a marvel with finding treasure.”

Emma sighed, her eyes caressing the dusting toys and empty crib, “Basement door?”

Rumple nodded, “Basement door”

Emma walked up to the door and unlocked it. Trying to push through the seal on the door flashed and repelled her, “It's a barrier, all right. So what is she going to do?”

Rumple sneered at Emma, even now he couldn’t keep his disdain from his face, “Joining hands will be fine.” He reached out both his hands and, however unwillingly, the women took them.

Walking forward together they passed through the barrier as if it had never existed, Emma and Milah dropped Rumple’s hands and again strangely in synch, wiped their hands on the back of their trousers.

Emma spoke softly, the relief evident, “It worked.”

Rumple’s cold tone held more chill even than usual, “Indeed. One step closer to Hell. The spell's gone. We'll be able to pass through on our own now. Thank you, Milah. You can run back to protecting the dead children.”

Emma held up a hand to Rumple “Hang on.” Emma met Milah’s eyes intensely, “Milah... thank you so much. And... there's something you should know. Your son, Neal, Baelfire... when I was on my way down here on the River, I had sort of a vision of him. I think he talked to me.”

See the full post

39 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@everything-person asked if they'd re-use Killian’s headstone, I wondered if the Enchanted forest had its own calendar, it was late and I was sleepy

61 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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clarahue · 5 months

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AO3 Q&A

Just realized that I’m almost at 100 fics on AO3. Then I realized I’ve actually already crossed that with my anonymous works, abandoned fics and ones that have be deleted. So I decided to celebrate by doing a little fic Q&A for fun.

Under the cut

What is your first fic:

My first fic was a Rumbelle fic titled “A Not So Beauty and Beast”. It has now since been deleted and I only remember that is was a work office AU. I vaguely remember a chapter where Belle had to get a needle, but nothing else.

2. How did you start writing fics:

I have always had stories going on in my head ever since I was a kid. I did write some stories for school projects and enjoyed doing so but never wrote for fun. When I got into TV my best friends introduced me to the world of fanfics and I started reading some. I remember having a sleepover at my friends’ house in high school. They were talking about how they wrote fanfictions and suddenly I had the courage to start writing my own. That same night I stared writing “A not so Beauty and Beast”. From there the rest has been history.

3. Do you respond to comments:

I’m trying to get better and respond to more. But sometimes I don’t now how to respond to comments. I always appreciate comments though as I often get very few on my fics.

4. Do you write crossovers:

No, though I did write an Avalance fic story with the Emma & Lily storyline for OUAT (When You're Around, Things are Brighter)

5. Have you ever received hate comments on a fic:

Yes. On one of my smutty fics a person left a comment that I was deranged for writing a specific kink. I shrugged the comment off because the fic was clearly labeled and the person didn’t have to click on the fic.

The only time a comment really bothered me was really early on in my writing. This was on another of my deleted fics. It was titled “How Seagulls Fly” and it was a CaptainSwan fanfiction. Someone left a comment critiquing why I was including flashbacks that had nothing to do with the story. I was really sensitive to critiques as I was still new to posting fics and took the comment a bit too personally.

6. Do you write smut:

Yes. I have written some pretty kinky stuff too. Most are posted anonymously because one of my best friends stalks my AO3 account and I’d die if she saw them.

7. First fandom you wrote for:

Once Upon A Time. Unfortunately I deleted most of my OG fics because I was embarrassed with how bad they were written. I wish I hadn’t now. I think it’d be amusing to look back on them.

8. Favourite fic you’ve written:

Oh, so many. So many of my stories have such meaning to me and I love going back to read them. I usually go back to read more recent fics as they consume my mind the most.

For my favourites of my fics I’ll pick: “The Things We Don’t Talk About” (X-Men, Cherik), “The Tutor” (OUAT, Rumbelle), “By the Water’s Edge” (OFMD, BlackBonnet). “Drawn On My Skin” (Supergirl, Sanvers) is pretty good as well. I’m kind of obsessed with how well I wrote “Soulmates, Load of Bullshit” (OFMD, Steddy Hands).

For personal stories I’d have to say: “My Loki Verse” (series), “The Path That Leads Us Home” (Marvel/X-men, Maximoff feels). “Fallen Star” (Marvel, TaserTrickster) is also really meaningful to me. When I do go back to read it, I do find it a bit lacking. But it's clear to me that while I was writing it I was dealing with my own grief over a loss in my life.

9. Most poplar fic:

“An Exitance Unlike Our Own.” (18,837 Hits, 911 Kudos, 86 Comments)

I think this fic just hit a very niche ship (Agent Reign) with popular tropes (fake dating, undercover, living together) and blew up. It’s by far my most popular fic, no other pales in comparison. Even the fics I think are better.

I think “Soulmates, Load of Bullshit” (OFMD, Steddy Hands) has the most comments on one chapter though (36). That one blew up a bit and I was so proud because I liked that one so much. I thought I did a really good job with it.

10. What category do most of your fics fall under?

Alternate universe.

I love putting my characters into different scenarios and spinning them around in my mind. I like making them kiss like they’re toys I’m playing with. It’s fun.

11. Do you read your own fics:

Yes, and yes. I actually love rereading my own fics. It makes me so happy to go back and read them and to reread comments.

12. What is your writing process:

Usually an idea hits me and I’ll jot down in a Google doc or Word document. Funny enough the best time in which I’m writing the most, or the most inspired is when I’m in my bed before I go to sleep. So I’m usually typing the fic in my phone while lying sideways. I type so fast I end up with a lot of typos so I have to go back and edit everything. But I really like the whole process of editing. This very flawed system is what works best for me.

13. Is there a fic or idea for a fic that you've abandoned?

Most definitely. I’ve actually had quite a few. Recently I actually wrote a whole fic out only to never post it and throw it away because I ended up not liking it. I’ve been tying to just have fun with my writing and not care so much about posting or having people comment. I want my writing to be something I enjoy.

14. Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

Yes, so many. Like all of them. For now I’ll go with “By The Water’s Edge” (OFMD, BlackBonnet)

15. What ships have you written the most for:

I’m almost embarrassed to see that Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) have topped my list (9) as they only started consuming my thoughts within this past month. Most of their stories are one-shots. (see Amber Eyes and a Wicked Smile). I have more stories in the works for them as well.

My next top ships are what I expected. I have Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold (7), Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer (7), Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe (7), Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood (6)

If I added my anonymous fics to this, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet would probably be up there as well.

16. What fandoms do you write for:

I’m kind of actually proud to see that OUAT still remains the top fandom I’ve written for (19). This is followed by Supergirl (12), Marvel (11), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (10), and Good Omens (9)

17. What's your longest story:

“The Princess and the Warrior” (OUAT, RedWarrior) was up there for the longest time at 33,567 words. But I passed it with two Rumbelle fics, “The Union” (40,348 words) and “Finding You” in first place at 59,158 words. “Dance With Me” (Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale) is shaping up to be a competitor as I’m still currently updating it. Right now it’s in second at 41,182 words.

18. What do you hope to achieve with your fics:

I hope to maintain F/F as the main dynamic I write about as F/F fics are severely lacking (currently I'm at 36) . However I strive to continue writing whatever makes me happy, and to continue writing things for my own fun.

#fanfiction #Q&A #about me #AO3 author

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exhaustedpirate · 2 years

Text

another late contribution for this year's CS Supernatural Summer - hopefully it'll be worth your while ! i clearly lied last year so i'm posting the long-awaited second chapter of last year's entry today. you should definitely check out the first chapter before.

i hope you like it and feel free to share your thoughts!

thank you so much to @th3capta1n for being my beta

Summary: Ever since he was a boy, Killian Jones could see ghosts. Some were kind, others were a nuisance and rarely, he found the worst of them. This time he meets a woman who remembers nothing, except her name. Together, they’ll find out her story and help each other.

Word count: 7211 words

Rating: Teen and Up

tag list: @thisonesatellite @profdanglaisstuff @winterbaby89 @stahlop @winterbythesea @sotangledupinit

read on AO3 | read the first chapter here and AO3

Chapter Two The Swan

“Alright, can we all just calm down?”

Killian stepped away from the table under the looks of barely contained excitement from Emma and Henry. One of them should have a leveled head and it apparently fell on him.

“There is a mysterious book written in a completely foreign language that conveniently appears exactly when we need it and you’re not even the slightest bit suspicious?” His nervous expression didn’t seem to dissuade his audience as they just smiled.

“It’s clearly a magic book.”

“It’s magic, Mr. Jones!”

He exhaled a defeated sigh as he threw his head back.

“Magic? That’s your justification?”

“Mr. Jones,” Henry crossed his arms with a completely unimpressed look that almost put his mother’s to shame. “My gym teacher is a mermaid and a werewolf serves me hot chocolate every Friday. Magic is the only explanation.”

There was a satisfied smile on Emma's face as she mimicked the boy’s pose.

"So, Mr. Jones." Emma's use of his last name called his attention to her. "Do you have any other easily explainable issues or can you take a leap of faith and see what's in that magical book?"

A leap of faith. As he looked between Henry's eager eyes and Emma's worriedly excited expression, he thought he could. That it would take the sheer belief in a centuries old ghost and a 10-year-old boy to get him to believe wasn't lost on him.

"Fine." Killian sighed amused at the excitement clear on Henry's face. He turned a reassuring smile to Emma's steadying breath. "Let's see if the magic book has some answers."

“Yes!” Henry was quick to reach for the book while rushing around the desk to sit at Killian’s chair.

“You said it was written by Alice Jones?” Killian asked as he stepped to Henry’s left side.

“Do you know her?”

“Alice was my mother’s name, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her write a book, much less in a language she didn’t speak.”

“Maybe it’s your ancestor?” Emma offers. “I have been dead for a long time.”

“My mother named me after my grandpa, maybe it’s the same?”

Killian’s fingers stroke the ring still clutched in his hand trying to rationalize their suggestion. “This situation just gets curiouser and curiouser.”

“Maybe I should read the book?”

“We should see what Alice Jones has to tell us.”

Killian nods. Trusting a mystery book seemed to be the least crazy thing for him today.

There is a story that no one knows, the story of the Princess and the Huntsman. Of how they fell in love and wished for happily ever after. The story that no one knows but me.

“I can see now why you’re so dramatic.”

Killian rolled his eyes at the teasing kid - and the snickering ghost - despite the uptick of his lip, gesturing for him to carry on reading.

Misthaven was a kingdom of peace and prosperity and it had been so since before my youth. Its people loved their royalty and they loved them back. Those good times didn’t last for long. I remember my mother’s solemn face as she returned from work - a handmaiden to the Queen must be her confidant, but even she couldn’t keep Queen Snow’s worry to herself.

Ships with black sails threatened to surround Misthaven’s borders; black armored knights terrorized provinces; a menacing cloud of dark magic frightened everyone.

No powerful villain stepped forward to claim such attacks and no accomplice confessed. The Queen appeared to be frightful even as she summoned every war council available.

Despite their efforts, the darkness seemed undefeatable. The fairies’ light magic barely managed to keep it at bay. The kingdom needed a solution.

A neighboring kingdom housed a powerful King. A King whose army was unbeaten by any forces that threatened him. A King whose power didn’t compare to Misthaven’s light. A King who wanted unlimited power. King Rumplestilskin.

Misthaven was, for a while, blessedly ignorant over the imminent threat. As well as its young Prince. As for Princess Emma, she had been allowed to participate in the war councils presided by her parents since she became of age. Now, a decade after the first, she was more than ready and shared opinions with intelligence and level-headedness.

Killian could see Emma’s blush covering her cheeks and he wished he could hold her hand. He wished she wouldn’t be so surprised to hear such compliments. He wished a lot when it came to Emma.

I have been her handmaid since we were both children. I have watched her grow beside me, never feeling like less, but like an equal. I still hold fond memories of afternoons of joy and companionship. I also learned things that I will take to my grave, however her story of love won’t be one of them and for that I apologize. This I do to guarantee my princess’ rescue.

“Do you want me to keep reading, Emma?”

She seemed startled from Henry’s sudden stop, looking from the book, to the boy and back before looking at Killian. He hoped she saw the reassurance he was trying to show. She nodded.

“You can carry on, lad.”

Henry nodded and cleared his throat.

Once she became of age, there was no end to the line of suitors hoping to gain her hand in marriage. (Killian pushed down on the surge of jealousy in his chest.) However, the Queen and her Prince had married for love and they wished the same on their daughter. Every suitor she refused was led out with a tight lipped smile and well wishes. There was no talk of arranged marriages for the throne was hers regardless of matrimony.

And the Princess treasured her freedom - if not of life, of heart. Her father had started his life as a shepherd and was now the Queen’s prince consort. Perhaps an unknown sailor would have the same luck.

But it was no sailor or baker who won such honor as to hold the Princess’ heart in his hand. It was a huntsman.

As the Princess’ closest friend and confidant, I was able to hear about their first meeting, when he was nothing but a crude hunter. How she had been out for a pleasant ride. How he was ready to kill a defenseless deer. How she didn’t quite like my reminder that her table was regularly filled with defenseless animals too. How she blushed and said her issue was his rudeness, not his eating habits. How he had finally let the animal go. How she could not stop talking about him for the next few days.

I was also able to witness their second interaction. See the Princess’ provoked by the handsome Huntsman’s quips. See how she liked his quick wit and he enjoyed the irritated blush on her cheeks. See how she gave him her name with her nose in the sky and how he smiled and gave her his. I was able to hear it all again for the next week.

During the next month, Emma would go see him alone. And when she came back, there was always something to talk about. From the annoyance she felt about him to the quiet confession about her restless heart when around him. From the way he had almost hit her with an arrow to the way he had helped her off her horse. From the way he was also too close to the way he was never close enough. From crude hunter to Graham.

“Graham…”

Her whisper caught his attention and he saw a multitude of emotions behind her eyes.

“Do you remember him?” Killian asked.

Henry had stopped reading and was now looking between them.

“I do.” Her voice quivered and when she looked at him, he saw her glassy eyes.

“Should I stop?”

That seemed to bring Emma back, the determination replacing the grief.

“No, I need to know how it ends.”

“Are you sure, love?”

“I am.” The strong tone in her voice was enough to convince him even as worry filled him.

Killian nodded to Henry who seemed to feel the same as him.

Emma wished to keep him secret. He didn’t know she was the Princess, as he seemed to have lived in the woods since childhood and she wanted to keep it as such. She wanted to keep the pressure away from their budding romance. For that’s what it was. From blushing cheeks to tangled hair. To stained riding pants. To-

“I think you should skip to the next paragraph, lad.” Killian insisted as he scratched behind his ear.

“Why? What does this mean?”

“It just means that Emma and Graham became boyfriend and girlfriend.” He screamed internally as he wished he didn’t have to have this conversation with his boss’ son.

He didn’t have to look at Emma to see her blushed cheeks and embarrassment.

“Oohh!” Henry’s expression would have made him laugh if he wasn’t so focusedly hoping that the subject be put to rest. “I understand.”

He really hoped for this not to get back to Regina. She’d kill him faster than one can say ‘fireball’.

Their secret courtship turned into love. Her books were filled with dried flowers, one for every encounter. I was the only one who knew of their relationship. Despite her trust in her mother, Emma knew how difficult it would be to bring Graham into this life, keeping the Queen in the dark was the only way to assure the ease in their romance.

However, every good thing must come to an end.

The threat becomes more dangerous. The dark magic encroaches them. There is no other solution. The fairies’ light magic isn’t strong enough. Emma wants to help, as she did before.

Once, when the Princess was no older than 11 years old, Prince James invaded the kingdom. A Prince from a kingdom led to poverty by its careless royalty. A Prince who wasted his years fighting battles that did not involve his kingdom and spending its money. Until his father died and there was no kingdom left to rule - its people either migrated or dead. A Prince who was the Prince Consort’s twin, since the King had wanted a child and took one of the shepherd’s wife’s twins, a mother who only wished the best for her children. A mother who accepted the deal to make sure her babies did not succumb to illness.

Prince James invaded the kingdom claiming injustice for the way his twin brother’s life had progressed while he rotted away in misery. It should have been a quick matter to resolve had it not been the dragon whose wrath James had unleashed on the kingdom. The dragon had wreaked havoc in the kingdom and as everyone watched, threatened to burn the royal family to a crisp had it not been for the burst of magic that saved them.

No one knew exactly what happened, but the ones who saw remember seeing a bright white light coming from the Princess making her resemble a wide winged bird - a swan. The dragon was quick to escape as the wave of magic because there was no other name for it, incapacitated Prince James and his crew. Everyone clamored Emma’s bravery and songs were written and played in the streets.

However, despite their efforts that seemed to be the only magical experience the Princess would experience. Nothing the fairies did seemed to bring forth another hint or spark from the young girl. Songs were corrected and Emma’s magical achievements were seen as a simple blessing, a power born from her parent’s true love that protected the family. They called her the Swan Princess - not only for the circumstance of her magic, but also for the fact that under her beauty hid a vicious bravery.

To say that Emma had been disappointed over her magical failure was an understatement. But so much like her family, she chose not to give up and dedicate herself to learning sword fighting from the soldiers, something she could actually grasp.

And now, just as before, Emma wants to help. She offers to join the soldiers, defend her home and her people. Unfortunately, that is not what her parents have in mind. “We can’t risk losing you, Emma”, They said. “We need a powerful alliance.” And Emma was smart enough to understand what they meant even before they confessed their plans.

An arranged marriage. Something she had been assured all her life wouldn’t happen. The tears that fall down her face are unconscious as she begs her parents for a different solution. She speaks to them, for the first time, of how her heart belongs to another even though his name is never even whispered. But Emma knows. This is her parent’s plan, the only solution that will keep her and the kingdom safe. So she accepts, even as her heart breaks.

I try to console her tears that night, to no avail.

The arranged marriage would be to the Kingdom’s closest neighbor. A Kingdom whose King owns the strongest army. A Kingdom whose King has fathered only one son, close to Emma’s age. Give or take a couple of years. There isn’t much to say about Prince Baelfire. King Rumplestilskin shelters him from everyone, practically confined to the castle. His mother escaping a life of such imprisonment, according to rumors, by joining a band of pirates. The young man is said to be a fairly nice Prince, educated and capable.

This union would entail a merging of Kingdoms. Such creation would result in the strongest Kingdom in existence. A merging that still required more planning, were not for the desperation of Queen Snow and Prince David for Misthaven.

But Emma’s stubbornness is unrivaled. Her room is vacant the next morning when I arrive to wake her up. Nothing, but a letter. A letter explaining that she will be leaving in search of another solution. That her heart is not ready to forget her love. That despite the love she has for her kingdom, she doesn’t wish to marry someone she doesn’t love. But she promises to return, after she finds a solution or once she realizes her journey is fruitless.

At the breakfast table, the Queen, her Prince and the Princeling await the arrival of the heiress. They receive me and the letter. Their expressions are full of pain and the whole castle is sent to a frenzy as they prepare an expedition to find her.

As a handmaiden, I am given no task except to wait for my charge. But I know I must attempt to find her. She is my Princess, but most of all, a friend, the only one I’ve ever had. The journey to that place in the woods isn’t familiar, but it takes merely a blink of an eye. But the camp is empty. The Huntsman has left - not in search of a new home but, I suspectbecause a stubbornly determined Princess has asked for his help in her quest.

The Princess has always been more than capable to defend for herself, that is without doubt. She who survives a dragon, can survive much worse. But I worry. And such worry is blinding when it comes to the ones you love.

Killian pretends not to notice Emma’s quiet sniff.

The Blue Fairy was known by all of Misthaven. If there was ever a blue star in the sky, children were told to wish upon it for she would grant their wishes if they were pure of heart. A child’s story for centuries, she seemed to be on familiar terms with the royal family.

The Blue Fairy was, once, Misthaven’s savior. When Queen Snow was but a runaway Princess, she was the one who helped her regain her throne. Regardless of her lack of involvement now, I was sure she would still be eager to help. My worry grew when Emma hadn’t gone to her first.

Under the shade of a willow tree, I called for her. My heart was put to the test but it seemed to be pure enough. Her voice called my name and there she was, in front of me. She was the size of a human, not as small as an acorn as my mother had told. It didn’t matter, in the end. I urged for her help, to bring back my Princess safe and sound.

Her magic was a light blue and it felt cool to the touch. I saw as she surrounded herself with magic and then sigh in disappointment as it got warmer once more. She said that my wish was a wish she couldn’t fulfill, for my Princess was no longer safe and sound. “Emma is no longer in our plane, I’m afraid she has been taken from us.” She explained and I attempted to fight my tears.

His hand reaches for hers, subconsciously. The cold feeling extends to his whole hand as he sees Emma do the same. There was no feeling of her hand in his, but there was something.

I begged for another wish. I wished for a way to save Emma. A way to bring her back to the people who loved her. My vision was filled with blue and I was able to feel the coolness of the Blue Fairy’s magic. I felt no different. “Your wish was granted. I have given you all I can to realize your heart’s desire.” It wasn’t much of an explanation.

Magic, she said, was as hard to explain as it was to understand. Their magic came from a higher entity, a Sorcerer. A powerful being capable of seeing the future. She couldn’t bring Emma back as it was far beyond her capabilities, but she had granted my wish, given me a tool that would help. I saw her when a blur of yellow caught my attention. She was sitting closer to the branches as if she had been there since I had arrived, but that wasn’t possible. I hadn't seen her.

There was an odd expression in the Blue Fairy’s face when I asked about her. Though I received no explanation except for an expression of grief in her face, I was told as to what gift I had been given. A capacity to see those who are no longer in the plane of the living.

"How will I be able to bring her back with this?" I asked, feeling as if the Fairy's help hadn't been so helpful. "This gift will help you save the Princess." Cryptic as all magic is. I tried not to feel frustrated as I exited the willow tree. When I reached the Huntsman's camp, I saw him.

I was angry and I snapped as I could only think he had left Emma alone. He simply looked at me with surprise. Surprised, I learned, that I was able to see him. He told me how he had attempted to beg for help from anyone whose path he'd crossed, but no one seemed to see him.

He was dead.

"He was dead."

That was the only explanation. As cryptic as magic was, it seemed to work. I wasted no time asking for Emma's whereabouts. He told me that he had been killed at the neighboring Kingdom's castle when Emma and he had requested an urgent meeting with the King.

The shrill sound of a phone startled them all. Henry took a breath as he saw the name on his phone's screen.

"It's my mother." One look at the clock and he winced. "I was supposed to be in her office ten minutes ago."

"Go, lad, we'll stay here." Killian reassured the curious boy as he glanced at Emma's expression, an expression of grief that clawed at his heart.

"I'll be back." In a rush that none of the other adults could muster, he exited the library.

"Are you alright, Emma?" He gave her a moment in the silence, hoping her whirling thoughts had the chance to calm.

"I can't believe I would forget all of this. I would forget falling in love, the love of my family."

"It isn't your fault, there is clearly something else at work here."

When she looked into his eyes, his heart broke. There was pain, grief, anger. "I remember what happened, I remember why Graham died. I know who did this."

300 years earlier

His hand in hers gave her strength, strength she wasn't sure she felt. Emma needed this mission to be successful, she didn't intend to spend her life attached to someone she didn't love, burdened by duties that she never thought she had to fulfill. Her heart was still set on saving her kingdom and she would, if there was no other way, but she needed to try first.

The halls of the castle were cold, quiet and dark. There was a prickling under her skin at every step, as if she was being watched, pursued. There was an eagerness in the dark corners of the room, eager to pull you in, drag you. The great hall wasn't better - still as cold, quiet and dark as the rest of the castle. And the man sitting on the large throne was the epitome of darkness.

He wore a wide, almost mad, smile, his eyes expectant. She felt like a prey. Graham's hand was no longer wrapped in hers, but she still felt his strong presence. She had a hunter on her side, it would all work out.

Next to his father's throne, sat a young man, close to her age. Give or take a year. Prince Baelfire, of course. A curious man, he was. The darkness didn't seem to reach him but entrap him. He seemed fragile - not by choice.

“Welcome to Aur, your Highness.”

As she was taught, Emma bowed. And so did Graham, playing the part of her escort. She saw the Prince bow to her from the corner of her eye and ignored his father’s admonishing gesture in response.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit in this early morning?”

Emma swallowed at the predatorial look in his eyes. It didn’t help that there was no one else in the room but the four of them. She could sense Graham’s discomfort matching hers.

“I’ve come to discuss the agreement you have made with my parents.” She attempted to keep her voice determined, brave - all she knew she was despite the threatening aura of the room.

“Yes, Prince Baelfire and I are looking forward to this union.”

“That’s what I wanted to discuss, your Majesty. You see, I don’t wish to marry your son if there is another alternative.” She held her breath as the royal looked at her, analytical. Emma sees Prince Baelfire await his father’s judgment - no disappointment, no joy, merely expectant with a hint of fear.

“It doesn’t seem to be your decision, is it, Princess? Your parents, as rulers of the Kingdom, have blessed this union, therefore there is no other choice.”

“I understand that it was their decision, but I am here hoping to reach another solution. The merging of our two Kingdoms won’t be easy and it might lead to complications with lineage.” As she speaks, she realizes just how complicated this deal is.

“I have no intention in merging our Kingdoms, Your Highness, so there will be no complications.” King Rumplestilskin’s smile turns wider, his eyes glinting with excitement. Prince Baelfire lowers his head at his words. Graham takes a step closer to her.

“What do you mean?” Emma was confused. There was a feeling deep in her gut that told her to run - her stubbornness was unrivaled. “My parent-”

“Your parents made a deal with me. I would help them with their threat in exchange for you marrying my son.” His giggle was manic and caused shivers down Emma’s spine. “They were so desperate, poor things, that they didn’t question my intentions.”

“And what are your intentions?”

“To take over Misthaven, of course. You’ll marry my son ensuring lineage and after your parents mysteriously pass away, I will be free to reign Misthaven as I see fit.”

“And what makes you think I will let that happen?” There was a scowl in Emma’s face as she balls her fists.

“There is nothing you can do about it, dearie.” Rumplestilskin rises from his chair, a far more threatening presence than she expected. “You underestimate my power.” He makes his way slowly to her. “Who do you think has been terrorizing Misthaven in order to make this happen?”

“It was you…” She whispered, reluctantly surprised. “But how? You don’t have magic. Especially not magic as dark as that.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” Emma tried not to feel like a caged animal as he began walking in a circle around her. “But I made a friend, a friend who does indeed wield such magic. A friend whose plans match mine.”

“You won’t get away with this, I promise you that.”

Her threat lost its power at the King’s loud laugh. He seemed relaxed as if she posed no danger to his plan. And she believed it, it made her feel small. She wasn’t accustomed to being made to feel small.

“There is nothing you can do, dearie.”

With a snap of his fingers, dark tendrils wrapped around the two visitors. While her restraints seemed focused on her wrists, Rumplestilskin had Graham by the neck. As strong as he was trying to be, he was no match for such powerful magic.

“Please, he has nothing to do with this, just let him go!” Emma kept her eyes on the King’s hoping he wouldn’t see exactly how much it hurt to see Graham suffer as he was.

But she couldn’t help it.

She could pinpoint the moment he noticed, the way his smile widened and his tongue ran through his teeth - like a crocodile preparing to eat his prey. Her heart hammered against her chest praying to every entity she knew for their safety.

But no one was listening.

There was a crack and a heavy body falling to the ground. Her heart stopped. Her future destroyed in a second. The love of her life gone. There was no stopping the distraught cry that exploded out of her.

She didn’t notice how she had freed herself until she had her arms around Graham’s lifeless body. Her tears had landed on his unmoving face. And there was silence around her. She saw the King’s unconscious form laying on the floor as well as the absence of dark magic. A burst of magic, it seemed, to save her.

Unfortunately, not to save her from heartbreak, as she continued to hold a dead Graham in her arms. Her hands caressed his face and she felt it growing cold under her touch. She wished, more than anything, to have him open his eyes, to have him smile at her one more time.

“Princess?” A too small voice from a young man startled her and she raised one hand, hoping for another burst of magic to save her - but there was nothing, not even a spark.

Thankfully, she knew where her Huntsman kept his dagger and she quickly wielded it. She kept herself embracing him, however, one hand on his face.

“Take one more step and you’ll regret it.” Her voice was shaky but her determined stare wasn’t.

To her surprise, the dagger pointed at him doesn’t seem to frighten Prince Baelfire. He approaches with his hands raised to his chest until he stops a step away from her.

“I’m sorry.” He sounds honest in his whispered words as he looks into her eyes.

Emma lets out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding and her whole being deflates as even the dagger falls to the floor. She turns back to the man laying on her lap, her hand cupping his cheek.

“If you must kill me, do so now. Your father won’t have my Kingdom.” Her voice is small, not usual for her.

“I have no intentions of killing you or of marrying you.”

That calls her attention and she looks back to the Prince.

“I simply do as my father wishes, he’s a powerful man.” He sighs as he kneels in front of her. “I have been carrying this for years.” Her eyes watch him closely as he removes a small vial from his coat pocket. “And I think it’s supposed to help you.”

“What is that?” She is wary, nothing good should come from such a dark liquid.

“I’m not quite sure, I was never fond of magic. I found it in the library. It had a note.” He removes a small paper from the same pocket which he gives to her.

She will need this.

“Who is ‘she’?”

“I don’t know. There isn’t anyone I know who would need this but you. My father won’t give up. This is all I can do to help.” He extends the vial to her.

“How do I know you speak the truth?” She took the vial even as she kept her eyes on him.

“I don’t know. But I am.” The Prince shrugged his shoulders as he returned the eye contact. She had always been able to tell when someone was lying to her. He was telling the truth.

Both turned when they heard a groan from their right. Rumplestilskin was regaining consciousness. She needed to act fast.

“Thank you.” She quickly said to the Prince as she removed the cork from the vial.

There was no time for second thoughts. It was trusting a mysterious vial with an even more mysterious message or seeing her Kingdom conquered by this villain.

With a deep breath and a final look to her hunter, she drank the strange liquid to the last drop.

Everything went black.

Now

“The potion killed you, then.” Killian didn’t know what to think, it had been a strange story. He wasn’t sure whether he’d like to hug Emma or punch someone who had probably been dead for centuries.

“I don’t think so… Remember the garden?” Killian nodded. “No other ghost has been there, I don’t think I was dead.”

“Aye, I just-” Killian interrupts himself when he turns to her. There is the wet streak of a tear on her cheek. “I’m sorry, love, I’m sorry about Graham.” His hand inches closer to hers.

“That’s alright, I remembered…”

The door opens suddenly for Henry to run inside.

“My mum is going for a meeting so I still have an hou- is everything alright?” Henry asks as he looks at Killian’s expression. The small lamp on his desk flickers on and off slowly. “Emma?”

His call seems to catch her attention. She turns to him with a small smile.

“I’m alright.” The lamp stops flickering.

“Everything’s alright, lad.” His smile is reassuring and Henry seems to deflate as he feels a more calm environment.

Wanting to give Emma a few moments to rearrange her thoughts, Killian busies himself giving Henry a resumed version of what Emma had told him.

“So that Baelfire turned her into a ghost!”

“Actually, the potion did.”

“Someone must have given that to him, someone who knew what was going to happen!” Killian swore he could see the cogs in Henry’s brain turn.

“Perhaps we’ll get some answers if we carry on reading.” Emma’s voice seemed back to normal, quieter but more herself. Looking into her eyes, she nodded.

“Aye, we should keep reading, lad.”

“Right!” Henry quickly ran to the book that had remained open on the desk.

Graham told me what happened. How the King-

“Okay, she’s saying what we know, I’m just going to skip.” Henry interrupted.

After he passed away, there was too much. Too much confusion, too many sounds, too many colors. Once he was able to concentrate on his whereabouts, all he saw was Emma laid on the floor next to him as Rumplestiltskin paced angry. Prince Baelfire seemed to be telling him how Emma had killed herself out of grief. How she had taken a potion, a poison he assumed, how he had been unable to stop her.

“He’s protecting you.” Henry seemed surprised by the revelation.

“He didn’t seem to be as bad as his father.” Emma admitted.

“Aye, the lad had courage.”

Unfortunately, there was nothing else I could do. I couldn’t go to the castle to retrieve the Princess nor could I tell the Queen where she was. While magic is common, talking to the deceased did not seem to be something that would be celebrated.

“Right you are.” Killian whispered. Henry turned to him followed by Emma, making him blush. He cleared his throat. “Carry on, lad.”

It was hard to see how distraught the Royal Family was about the Princess’ disappearance. The castle seemed too quiet at times and her room even emptier. But it didn’t take long to receive news. Prince Baelfire arrived at court with Emma’s body carried by a fleet of guards.

The tall ceilings of the hall echoed the Queen’s cry of anguish as she saw her only daughter’s lifeless body. The Prince with a wall of bravery behind his heartbreak, commanded the servants to take Emma to another room. Everyone was dismissed. As the last to leave, I saw as the Prince attempted to comfort his wife, even as he cried with her.

Prince Baelfire was quick to leave the castle. I, however, couldn’t stay far from my Princess. I followed the procession as they took Emma to a guest room. I entered as they did, but did not leave as they did. I touched her hand, it wasn’t cold, it was rigid, it was as if she was sleeping. Graham stood by my side, a mournful expression in his eyes as he kneeled at her bedside. I pretended not to see his sadness as he attempted to hold her hand.

“Do you want me to continue? I know this can’t be easy…” Henry interrupted, looking to where he felt Emma’s presence.

“We need to know what happens next.” Emma’s voice was determined even as she wiped a fresh tear from her cheek. Hearing her parent’s pain wasn’t easy. She then turned to Killian with a nod. “I’m alright.”

Henry turned to him when he didn’t say anything, but Killian couldn’t take his eyes off Emma’s, hoping he was able to give her some reassurance. Finally, he nodded.

“She is not dead.” The Blue Fairy watched from the end of the bed. She startled me. I had never known her to be able to appear wherever she wished. Regardless, it was reassurance. She wasn’t dead. “I was told that I needed to come to this room at this time, now I see why.” Cryptic.

With a wave of her hand over Emma’s body and a familiar spark of cold, blue magic, she seemed to have her answer. “She is asleep. A cursed sleep.” She said. The half-answers and enigmatic posture were maddening. And I said so. “She will remain asleep until someone breaks her curse.” I turned to look at Graham, but he hadn’t moved, he seemed unwilling to care about anything else but the sleeping Princess. He was dead, unable to be with her again.

“Oh, Graham…” Emma whispered.

I was determined to break the curse. Not only to spare her parents the heartache, but also because I needed her back. “You mustn’t wake her up now.” The Blue Fairy told us. I was angry, why should Emma be suffering when we can help her? “Rumplestilskin believes her dead, his plan has been stopped. Wake her now and we’d be doomed.”

“She knew Rumplestilskin’s plan?!” Killian’s fist was balled against the table as he attempted to hold back his anger.

She knew his plan, even though no one had told her! “The Sorcerer knows all, Alice Jones. He’s seen this and more and we are to follow his plan.” His plan to destroy a family? To take their daughter from her? “Yes. All is as it should be.” I cursed. I never cursed anyone before. But I did now. “I understand your frustration, but all is as it should be.” She repeated, with an infuriating calm.

The feeling of inadequacy was like a fireball in my chest. But as angry as I was, the Blue Fairy was right, Emma was safe while she was asleep. What was I to do next? “I will place a preservation spell on her body, you will urge her parents not to bury her for it will surely kill her.” Before I could say anything else, she was gone.

Bloody fairies.

Bloody fairies. As helpful as she was, the hardest part was my chore. I left Graham to his vigil. I only returned the next day, her parents having had some time to compose themselves. But still I saw the lack of light in the Queen’s eyes and the slumped shoulders in the Prince’s posture - for a stranger, they would look the image of collectedness but not for me.

It was easier than I thought to convince them not to bury Emma. I was never fond of lying but saying that the Blue Fairy had blessed Emma’s form to withstand the course of time was nothing more than a half-truth. In a matter of days, a glass coffin was produced to hold the Princess. It was placed in the family’s mausoleum and everyday for years, the royal couple would place fresh flowers, usually accompanied by the young Prince.

The story was kept quiet. Both to ensure the Kingdom’s trust in their leaders’ safety but also to prevent any conflict between the two Kingdom’s involved. King Rumplestilskin remained quiet, his plan had failed. The dark magic surrounding the Kingdom was unable to get in. Even with Emma gone, there was too much light to let in the darkness.

His failure drove him to madness, pushing the darkness as far as it could. Until, decades after, he was killed with a dagger through his heart. A culprit was never found and the Kingdom, as fragile as it was, accepted the new King without protest. King Baelfire would do great things. Both Kingdoms fell into peace once more.

Life had returned to normal after Emma’s presumed death. Even as the country mourned, they celebrated Prince Leopold’s milestones.

Despite mine and the family’s desire to keep working with them, they had no need for me, not with the Princess gone. But, a year or so later, I was married. This might not seem important to you, but I discovered something. I welcomed a son soon after. A son who would grow up, as children do and would talk to entities no one else could see but me. The Blue Fairy’s gift was passed down. I was able to witness a granddaughter with the same gift.

We kept it secret, as well we could. I attempted to share this story with my kin, but I see now my time is short so I’m hoping that writing it will preserve it in its most perfect state. I understand now that I am not the one supposed to save Emma. But I hope that one of my own blood will.

I saw her, long after Rumplestilskin was killed, after her parents passed away - one not far from the other -. She was as if no day had passed her by, still in the clothes she wore when she fell asleep. She did not recognise me, but she was the one who found me. She did not recognise me because she did not remember who she was. All she knew was her name.

Emma.

You, who reads this book, my kin, I hope your heart remains true. For that is the only way to save her. Please, save her.

“Wow…” Henry breathed.

“Indeed.” Killian sat on his desk feeling his shoulders tight.

“I’m sorry.” Emma spoke softly, catching his attention.

“What do you mean? Why are you apologizing?”

“This was never supposed to be your burden.” Emma looked at him, her eyes a mix of apology and determination. “The only one who’s supposed to save me is me.”

“This isn’t a burden, Emma. I’ve spent years helping people like you. Apparently, generations. This is my mission and I’m gladly doing it for you too.” His smile was reassuring and he hoped that he wasn’t showing too much.

She doesn’t seem to notice as she looks down with a hint of pink in her cheeks. “Thank you, Killian, for helping me.” Her smile when she looks back at him sets his heart hammering against his chest.

Henry’s attempt at being quiet is louder than he seems to want as it breaks their moment. His cheeks are red and he tries to hide his satisfied smile.

“There’s nothing else in the book?” Killian asks, clearing his throat, hoping to get the attention off their small moment. “There seems to be some writing on that side.”

“Oh!” Henry’s brow furrows as he stares at the strange writing. Emma, he sees, has moved back to standing next to the boy. “I can’t read it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s in a weird language, even weirder than what I just read.”

“Hmm, strange.”

The library door is opened once more, the sound catching their attention.

“Henry?” Principal Mills calls from the door as she looks around for her son.

“It’s time to go already?” Killian can hear the pout in the boy’s voice and knows it’s there when Emma shows that soft smile that, he learns, is reserved for Henry.

“Yes, I’m done with the meeting. Come on, you have homework to do.” There is a smile on the Principal’s face too, it seems involuntary when Henry is involved.

“Fine.” He huffs as he rushes to put his backpack on. “See you tomorrow, Mr. Jones.”

Killian nods with a grin. “Master Mills.”

“Mr. Jones.” Regina dismisses him with barely a look. As Henry reaches her, she places her arm around his shoulders and kisses his forehead.

“You may think she’s scary, but Henry knows how to soften her.” Emma quipped as the door shut behind the mother and child.

“The lad has abilities that we don’t know half of.” Killian winks.

After such a heavy afternoon, it seems odd to be in silence. There is much he wants to say but doesn’t know how to start or if he should. He shouldn’t.

“Would you like to watch a film tonight?” Killian asks quickly.

She seems to startle but relaxes almost as quickly. “In the box that has the people inside?”

“The people aren’t exactly ins- Nevermind,” He laughs. “Aye, in the box.”

“I would love to.”

The headiness her smile causes chases him out of the door. They keep silent. There is no need for anything to be said. Nothing needed to change the quiet, light mood between them.

Of course, their plans are meant to be ruined. A short blonde woman carrying a bright pendant stops in front of them, stopping their walk. She looks at him with curious eyes.

“Are you Killian Jones?” She asks, igniting his curiosity.

“I am, who is asking?”

“The Blue Fairy wishes to speak with you.”

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