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miela · 9 months

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Shattered Memories • Chapter I: The Expo & The Files • {Peter Parker x Stark!Reader}

Chapter Genre: Angst Chapter Warnings: Flashback Death (writing it hurt me lmao), Mentions of substance abuse and alcholism. Masterlist

↪ divider by firefly-graphics

DIARY / Dream Log #3 / 10 NOV 2024

Dear Diary,

I dreamt of him again last night…the faceless boy

For the past few nights I've been dreaming of this boy. I didn't remember the dreams but I remember him. I can't remember what he looked like. It's like I remember the essence of him. Like he existed but he's nowhere to be found.

Only this time I remembered.

We were at the studio on a rainy day. I was wearing a long sleeve fitted crop top and matching leggings with my ballet shoes on.The pink of my slippers were a stark contrast against the black of my outfit. He was wearing a black fitted muscle shirt with black leggings under a pair of loose fitting Midtown Tech PE shorts. He was wearing a pair of star wars socks, which I found quite adorable. We were dancing playfully around the studio as we laughed at ourselves for not dancing so seriously but instead sliding across the floor and twirling each other as if we were ipart of a dance number in a musical

I wish I could remember his face.

I remember loving his smile. It's such a pretty smile, that much I know…but I don't remember what it looks like. I just know it brought me comfort and joy. His hair is soft and curly. He has such lovely hair. It feels soft and silky in my hands as I ran my hand through them a few times just to feel them. His eyes are puppy-like but I don't know what color they are. I just…know how they are.

It's strange to dream of someone and have no idea what they look like, but knowing little details that explains what they look like. It’s like running to a destination and then having no idea where you’re going.

He likes to kiss my cheek and his lips feel velvety on my skin. He calls me different pet names too.

"Baby, you’re going to hurt yourself."

"My little Lovebug."

"Are you hungry, Darling?"

"Princess, you’re doing great!"

"There’s my Pretty Girl~"

His voice is soft, just like everything about him. (Well…minus his arms and chest and abs…) but his voice is like music to my ears. I would respond with my own pet names for him.

“Don’t worry, My Love, I’ve been doing this my whole life.”

“My Sweet Boy~”

“No, I’m okay, Baby.”

“It’s like you’re my own Disney Prince.”

“And there’s my Handsome Boy~”

We danced around the studio for about an hour until we laid on the floor facing each other tiredly. His fingers traced over my hips and waist several times causing my skin to react to his touch. I scoot closer to him until our faces are centimeters apart. I could hear his heartbeat and I’m pretty sure he could hear mine. We have a special connection that is different from most. It was a biological connection that I couldn’t place.

I wish he was real. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so fucking lonely.

I leaned in to kiss him before something happened. He glitched. He glitched and my head felt like it was splitting in half with a migraine so painful that I woke up dizzy, shaking and sweating.

How strange…and terrifying.

[END NOTE]

The night was in good weather and the streets of New York City were bustling and busy, as per usual. Life was moving on as usual. The sun and moon cycled as usual.

The year is 2030.

Five years had gone by after the incident at the Statue of Liberty. Five years since you were forced to forget him along with the rest of the world.

No one knew who Peter Parker was. Not a single soul. To anyone that would be a terrifying thought, but it was something Peter himself had to accept.

He was swinging across buildings in the city one night, as usual. He was on his nightly patrol doing the same thing he's always done—protect the little guy. He figured it would be a somewhat busy night considering today was a special day so, he would probably have to protect some of the…not so little guys as well. He only stopped when he saw one of the big screens in Time Square and decided that this was a good spot to watch from.

It was showing the Stark Expo.

It had been awhile since he'd been excited about the beloved and annually anticipated event. Before, it hurt too much to bear with everything that happened but he was particularly intrigued with this one this year because this is when you made your official debut as the new owner of Stark Industries, and he knew you always wanted to make a big entrance. Much like your father, Tony Stark.

Only you wanted to do it bigger. Better.

Peter remembered different ideas you came up with for when the tech company torch was passed down to you. You said no to fireworks because the constant loud noises bother you and it was disrespectful to veterans, animals and those who are like you and sensitive to sound, even more so as a mutant human with super hearing.Other ideas you thought of were outlandish like setting something on fire or blowing something up (which Peter reminded you, contradicted your statement about the fireworks) and some were outrageous like blasting out of a giant cake. Eventually you came up with a solid plan that seemed to have fit your personality and mission as the legacy. You had it all planned out in a digital notebook with blueprints, lists, distributors, catering options and many more categories. Peter loved to watch you while you were fixated on something. It showed how much passion you had. He wondered how you felt leading up to the event.

He wished he could have been there.

There was a countdown on the screen for when the Expo was going to begin. Peter's friends invited him to go with them to see the Expo but he decided against it and used the excuse of having a lot of work; for school, for home and his job. Really he just couldn't handle the crowd right now he didn’t think he would be able to handle being so close to and yet so far from you.

Also he's Spiderman. He's got his hero duties to do.

With school, work, trying to function as an adult and being Spiderman, he was a busy guy, and that was the only thing that kept him distracted from thinking about his friends, his family, Mr. Stark, you…

Especially you.

There were times when he looked at the necklace you gave back to him and remembered what you had said to him.

"Give this back to me, I'll remember you."

But he knew it wouldn't be that simple.

Five years ago, he had full intentions of calling you at seven like he promised but...he didn’t. He went to your window later that night instead. You were sitting on your bed sadly looking at a picture of you and your dad. It had been a year since you both lost Tony but it was taking you a longer time to move on for obvious reasons. He was your actual father and you knew him much longer. Tony was like a father figure to Peter, but he's been to this rodeo four times already.

This was the first time you lost someone so close to you in such a way.

Peter recalled that day. He remembered how you were.

Pepper had her arm around a crying Peter’s shoulders. Rhodey had given you a sad and apologetic look as you went over to Tony. You kneeled down by him.

"Dad, we did it." You said going up to him, your voice shaking as you put your hands on his shoulders. "Pops, we won. You did it. You…you…"

You paused when you saw the state of him. Half of his body was fried from using the infinity stones and he was taking his last breaths. Peter put his hand on your shoulder and you glanced at him with a fearful and hopeful look in your eyes. He pressed his lips together in a thin line giving you an apologetic and pained look. He had that same look you had in his eyes a moment ago.

“No,�� you shook your head and looked back at Tony. “Dad, please. We….we….we won.”

Tony looked at you one last time and weakly pointed to his heart before pointing to yours. You understood what he meant by it and you sighed deeply, nodding before he forced a small smile on his face that was barely there and took his final breath.

Your lip quivered and you leaned your forehead on his. “I love you, Daddy. I love you so much.”

Then the arc reactor light on his chest went out.

Peter sat next to you after a moment and you instantly wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug and you hugged him back both of you crying your eyes out and attempting to comfort each other. Peter had to carry you back and he didn’t put you down until you had cried yourself to sleep on his shoulder.

Remembering that moment and then remembering how you were afterwards, it dawned on him how things played out. Peter was your rock, and you were his, but he had already made his decision.

Your name was called and you perked up before quickly wiping your eyes and softly calling “Coming!”

You put down the photo on your end table and then walked out of your room. Once it was safe to do so, Peter climbed into your window and gathered any trace of his existence and put it in a box and left with it.

Would he regret this? He had no idea.

He had run into once or twice or three times after that but as Spiderman and when he was saving your life from any danger. Nothing too eventful.

And that is how he ended up here five years later with a new life so different from yours.

The countdown made it to the 10 second mark and Peter was knocked out of his thoughts to pay attention to the screen. Once the mark hit zero the intro began.

Instantly he recognized the song. Back in Black by AC/DC.

Different forms of tech and inventions were brought onto the stage in an almost cinematic way. Lights flashed, sparks flew, and the crowd went wild. Fireworks went off in the sky to Peter’s surprise but he was even more surprised when they made no sound. He concluded that you somehow made soundless fireworks. He wondered when and how you came up with that one.

Once the platforms finished forming on the stage he spotted something flying in the sky. He didn’t sense danger from it but it was headed towards the expo.

“Hey Karen, zoom in on that thing in the sky.”

“Okay, Peter.” and with that the lens of his mask zoomed in on the flying object. It was red and gold and mechanical…

Wait, could it be…?

“It appears to be an Ironman suit.” Karen stated.

“Who is it…?” Peter wondered.

“Activating X-Ray Scan Function.”

“Wait a minute…!” Peter panicked. “What if they’re naked…!”

“Be serious, Spiderman.” Karen retorted while deactivating the x-ray scan.

Peter was taken aback by his AI. “Wow, Karen, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“All Stark Industries AI have been updated with a Bestie Feature created by (Y/N) Stark.”

Peter smirked to himself. “Classic (Y/N/N).”

You landed on a mid-rise platform on the stage as it lowered to the regular height. The crowd was cheering loudly as you stepped out of the iron suit and Peter was taken aback.

You looked amazing.

You wore an oversized blazer with a black dress underneath and knee high combat boots. Your lips were painted a bright red color and your nails were a teal blue that Peter recognized you always wearing. Under the dazzling lights of the Expo. You looked happy, healthy and lovely as ever.

Just how Peter hoped for you.

You danced your way across the stage before you stood poised at the podium, your confidence radiating, much like how Tony was. The audience hushed, anticipation hanging in the air as they waited to hear from the new owner of Stark Industries, Tony Stark's eldest daughter, (Y/N) Stark.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests and partners," you began, your voice steady yet carrying an echo of nervousness that Peter recognized all too well that others wouldn’t. “How are we all doing tonight?!”

The crowd went wild and you grinned in response.

"Good glad to hear it because today marks a significant milestone – not just for Stark Industries, but for a legacy that my father, Tony Stark, entrusted me to carry forward."

The crowd erupted in applause, the memory of Tony Stark's genius and charisma still fresh in their minds, even five years after his passing. Your presence on that stage, the spitting image of confidence of your father with a twist of your own determination, stirred a mix of nostalgia and curiosity in everyone. Even people on the street stopped and watched curiously and anxiously. Once the crowd calmed down, you continued on with your speech. Peter sat on top of the tall building that was right across from the screen that he was watching. You looked a little different but you were still as beautiful as he could remember.

“Tony Stark was many things; a visionary, a genius, a multi-billionaire, a philanthropist, an American patriot, a playboy, a raging smart ass…”

The crowd laughed, and you continued.

“But to me, he was my number one supporter, my greatest mentor, my biggest inspiration and my best friend."

You looked back at the Ironman Suit that you arrived in longingly for a moment before turning back to the crowd.

“When I was nine years old, my dad was taken by terrorists. He told me those three months were a huge awakening for him and changed the trajectory of his life. Through those dark times he went in a man, and came out a hero. A year later, he had learned that he had made enemies and then one day, our home in Malibu was blown to pieces. Each and every attempt to knock him down only made him come back stronger and stronger...and each time he became more and more my hero.”

Peter agreed with you from his sitting place in the building and the crowd cheered once again.

“Obviously, I began to notice at a young age what was happening. I did inherit his genius after all. And I began to ask questions, lots of questions.”

“One day he pulled me off to the side and He told me, ’(Y/N/N), one day this company will be yours and I want this to be a learning lesson for you. I want you to learn from my mistakes, instead of your own. I want you to grow to be a better person than I am’... I still hold those words close to me and I wonder how I can even be half of the genius and a fraction of the hero that he was...and still is to many people? I don't think I ever could. But because he believed in me so deeply, I will be. Even though he is gone from this world, he's still in my heart, guiding me.”

"Change is inevitable, and with change comes the opportunity to create a brighter future,” you continued, your eyes alight with determination but Peter could tell that you did it to hide the pain. "My father once said that his suit was a cocoon, and he emerged as Iron Man. Stark Industries is my cocoon, and I am committed to guiding it toward new heights of innovation and impact.”

“I remember his speech here at the expo, after he revealed himself as the iron hero and how he said ‘it's not about us, it's about legacy’. I stand before you as a testament to my father's belief in progress, innovation, and the power of human potential," you stated. "Tony Stark was more than a genius inventor; he was a visionary who saw challenges as opportunities, who dared to dream the impossible and then turn those dreams into reality."

The holographic screens around the stage displayed images of Tony Stark's greatest creations: the Iron Man suits, the Arc Reactor, the revolutionary technologies that had changed the world and his one of his greatest creations stands in the middle of all of it.

You.

“So I will go on with this genius mind and this heart made of gold and iron that I inherited from one of the greatest people I have ever known and be the heir of legacy that he believed me to be.”

Peter looked at the screen, his heart swelling at your words and the emotion and passion in your voice. He could only imagine how this was for you.

"As the new owner of Stark Industries, I take this responsibility seriously," you asserted. "My father's legacy was not just about technology; it was about making a difference. And that is what Stark Industries will continue to do under my guidance, because with great power comes great responsibility."

Peter could have swore that his heart exploded. That was what his Aunt May had told him right before she died. He wondered where you heard it from. “Now, just because I came down in the suit, doesn’t mean I’m trying to be the new Iron Man. Oh no, I’m trying to be a different kind of hero…but I will work hard to find someone who will be suitable to wear it.” You stated and the crowd seemed to look at you understanding.

After that, you spoke of a renewed commitment to clean energy, sustainable technologies, and global initiatives aimed at improving lives.The audience was captivated, witnessing the torch being passed from one generation to another, seamlessly transitioning from Tony's leadership to your vision. Peter was also captivated by the strong and determined person you have grown to be.

Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was better that he was out of your memories and your life.

“Now a few words from the man who walked and the man who ran so that I could fly.” You smiled.

Your words resonated deeply with the audience as you concluded your speech. The applause that followed was thunderous, a testament to the faith they had in your ability to carry on your father's legacy. Peter couldn't be anymore proud of you than he already was.

He just wished he was by your side, supporting you.

As you stepped down from the podium, Peter couldn't help but feel the weight of the moment.

The Stark Legacy was in your hands now, and you were ready to honor it and not by imitating your father, but by carving your own path while staying true to his spirit of innovation, determination, and a desire to make the world a better place. Just as you had told Peter once before.

Peter pressed his lips together under his mask as he watched you. He watched as you walked off stage as a video of Howard Stark began to play. He talked about the initial mission for Stark Industries. Then Tony’s video came on, and he spoke about legacy and the future. It sure seemed like the future of Stark Industries was bright with your mission to push it even further with technology for space exploration of the solar system, and making technology that can advance cybernetics and construction tools.

Peter wished nothing for the best for you, but he couldn’t help but wish he could be by your side while doing all of it. Something told him to go to you and tell you everything but another part of him told him to do the opposite and stay as far away from you as possible, but he had decided a while ago that he would just let you have your own space to grow before he attempted to come back into your life…before he would return the necklace to you, but the more he thought about it the more he feared doing it. He had tried once with Ned and MJ before they left for MIT, but he also chickened out. He couldn't even get close to Celina since she was training with Doctor Strange. He figured by now it would be a dead end anyways.

So he promised to support you guys from a distance. A big one.

The wail of sirens echoed down below fading in and out as they passed by and that was Peter’s signal to resume his duty as the beloved web slinging, wall crawling hero that he was meant to be.

You had left the Expo early.

You left after you actually gave your speech. You had better things to do than to pretend that everything was okay. These five years were tough on you. You have lost so much and so many people and even five years later it deeply affects you. You were definitely better than you were years ago though. You pretty much flew off the handle and went off the deep end. You did some dumb shit and did some bad shit, took some dumb shit and took some bad shit and now you’re trying to forget all of the dumb shit and the bad shit. Lucky for you, you always kept a low profile.

Everyone knew Tony Stark had a daughter but he kept you out of the public eye for good reason.

You preferred it that way anyways. It made life and school easier. You went as far as to take up the name (Y/N) Jarvis and take the bus home from school to keep your identity a secret. You were in no way ashamed to be a Stark, in fact, you were proud of it. You just didn’t want the unwanted attention that comes with being a famous person’s offspring. You could already hear the nepo baby accusations for everything (not that they were really wrong…).

So, when you went on a bender for a year, no one knew who you were. When you decided to take things to forget your pain, no one batted a pretty eye.

Except those who did know you of course.

You’d rather not think about how you broke Pepper and Happy’s hearts seeing you like that. Or how selfish you had been. It wasn’t until you were at your worst one day, where you finally decided that you were gonna get your act together. It wasn’t easy…it was far from easy. You had spent the first half of the first year utterly depressed from the loss of your father and the next half was your party girl bender era, much too young from doing anything that you were doing. The year after that was recovery and the years after that was making amends with everything you made crash and burn.

This year you worked. A lot.

You spent most of your time in your lab at the avenger’s compound creating and inventing while also scolding DUM-E, the help robot your father created, for doing too much. Which is where you were right now instead of networking with people you really didn’t give a flying fuckaroo about at the expo.

You had more important matters to attend to.

Usually you would be working on a new AI format (that wasn’t the debauchery that Ultron was..) or the car you were supposed to build with Tony before he passed, but with the world in near shambles all the time, you have a different project you were working on.

The NAI— New Avengers Initiative.

After the fight with Thanos and the blip coming undone by the hands of your father’s sacrifice, shit went sideways in your eyes. You recalled how people reacted when the world went back to normal, you recalled Sam and Bucky going on missions to stop a literal child from causing a mass murder attempt on government officials, you recalled Sam becoming the new Captain America and his beautiful call out speech to those government officials, and you recalled the day five years ago at the statue of liberty.

Sort of.

You had remembered a battle, you had remembered being there with Ned, Celina and MJ, but you honestly weren’t really sure why you were there and you didn’t understand why you were crying so hard.

Come to think of it, why were you crying at all?

You fought all types of enemies including the Big 3 (Aliens, Robots, and Wizards) as Sam likes to put it. You have fought terrorists, governments, hell you have fought in the civil war of the avengers, and yet you had the waterworks about a battle you couldn’t even remember. You blamed it on the realization that you would have to fight big battles without your biological family and chosen family the same way anymore, but…you felt like something else was missing, like a big part of you was carved out of your life. It was like there was this big hole in your chest and you tried to fill it with everything imaginable. You failed miserably.

It must be the dreams you were having.

You kept dreaming about a boy, and everytime you dream about him you’re super happy. The happiest you have ever been. The only problem is you couldn’t remember who he was and why you kept dreaming about him. Since those dreams began you have been having terrible headaches and nothing has been really fixing them. Morgan would tease you in her oh-so-annoying-little-sibling-way and basically say that your brain is trying not to be stupid for once.

God forbid she knew you were dreaming about a boy. You wouldn’t hear the end of it.

“FRIDAY,” You stated as you sat in your chair in thought. “Pull up all the files on the Avengers.”

“The remaining ones or All of them?” the voice asked.

“All,” you replied. “Minus me, I know me. Very well actually.”

“Pulling up Avenger’s database right now, miss.”

Holographic screens appear in front of you. “Spread them out. Circular please.”

The screens surround you as if they were a council meeting. You walked to each one studying them as you reminisced on your past relationship and current stance with each of them now.

You heavily looked up to Natasha Romanoff and she was like a big sister to you.

Now she’s dead.

You deeply admired Wanda Maximoff, and even had a mini crush on her.

But she went rogue and is now nowhere to be found.

You adored Vision, since he was the personification of AI Jarvis.

But you don’t know what happened to him either.

You also admired Steve Rogers, and he was like a big brother to you.

But he decided to go back to the past and live his own life.

Thor was like your goofy uncle and you loved him like one.

But he has his own thing going on in New Asgard and with the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Doctor Bruce Banner you felt so much for. You honestly admired him too. You were one of the only people who didn’t fear him as the Hulk but rather felt pity for him.

You decided he needed to be left alone, even though he was better now.

Scott was cool. He was also like a cool uncle figure.

But he has other matters to worry about. Including a family.

Same with Clint. You learned alot from him.

But he only came out of retirement by force. You didn’t wanna bother him.

Doctor Stephen Strange you found amusing.

But you currently hate magic, that’s more of Celina’s thing. Possibly Ned too apparently.

You look at each of them as if this is the only way you could send them off with good riddance…for some of them it was true. Some of them you expect to never see again. You long accepted that already and wished nothing but the best for the rest of them and you hoped they all could find peace as much as they could. You sighed and smiled as you looked over all of them, but your eyes landed on a screen that would change the trajectory of your life.

You let your eyes scan the face of a puppy-eyed figure with brown curls and boyish features. There was something vaguely familiar but so foreign about him. It bothered you. You read the name.

“Peter Parker…” His name tasted familiar on your tongue, like you had spoken it many times before.

Could it be…?

“FRIDAY,” you asked. “Give me all the information on Peter Parker that we have.”

“Certainly,” she responded and pulled up more screens. “Peter Parker. Age: 21. Would have been 26 but he was part of The Blip. Hair Color: Brown, Eye Color: Brown. Ethnicity: Some sort of European descent, seems to be English by the last name.”

“Okay, okay but like ...who is he in the Avengers?”

“He is Spiderman and he was taken under the wing of your father.”

Your face twisted in confusion. “Huh? How…?”

You knew Spiderman. You remember Spiderman as your partner on Missions. You two bonded over the fact that you both had Spider powers. You even built his and your suits and begged your father not to tell him that it was you for some odd reason…oh yeah you had a major crush on him. Your suits synced up to each other making you both the Iron Spider.

Two Spider Mutants + Stark Tech = Iron Spider.

As you scanned your neurons for memories, you tried to remember his face. Surely, you knew his face…but you couldn’t place it. Really, all this time you just thought Spiderman was Harley Keener, but now that you think about it…nothing in that thought process would make any sense. After all he’s from Tennessee and has been in the same room as Spiderman. You recall sleeping on the Quinjet with Spiderman with your head on his shoulder and his head on top of yours. You recall even fighting “against” him in the Avengers Civil War.

That’s a different story for a different day.

You went through a plethora of memories but you could never remember his face and it peeved you to no end. Did he just hide his identity from everyone? He was young and honestly you did the same thing for a while, so you don't really blame him. After you gave the heroic works, he continued being the friendly neighborhood spiderman, helping the little guy. But things weren’t adding up in your mind still.

Especially if he knew your father on a close level to wear he took him under his iron wing.

“Peter Parker,” you said softly again. “Who are you? How did you meet my father…? Are you the boy in my dreams…?”

“The Database says he was part of the Stark Internship. Which was a Pseudonym for his Avenger call.” FRIDAY responded.

“Something isn’t adding up,…” you said, chewing your lip, vexed. “Why don’t I recognize him?”

“Would you like me to do a deeper search, miss?”

Invading his personal information? You thought.

“How deep are we talking, Fri?” You squint your eyes at the picture of Peter Parker, as if you were addressing him.

“I can go as far back as to the day he was born and as deep as to where he is right now.”

You nearly fell out of your chair. “FRIDAY…!”

“It’s the way I was built, miss. You can’t blame me.”

You snorted.

“FRIDAY, that is stalker behavior,” You respond, thinking no more than ten seconds on the idea. After all, if you knew each other personally I’m sure he told you most of this stuff already.

And if he’s the boy from your dreams…

“Do it.”

And this is how everything changed.

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dr-felitas · 3 months

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HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST

WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE YOU ft. aventurine

sometimes aventurine feels undeserving of the love you provide him and tries to show his love for you in various ways.

aventurine drabble

in which the both of you reassure one another + you call him by his given name

TO LAST FOR AN ETERNITY ft. sunday

to sunday, getting to know you has always been as natural as breathing, dreaming or lying. his life is built on lies. despite knowing that, you decide to stay with him, and sunday can't help but wonder why.

TO LOVE IS TO LEARN ft. aventurine

aventurine is still unexposed to the many concepts of this world. but that doesn't mean he won't try to get to know them if it's for you.

WISH YOU WERE SOBER ft. aventurine

in which you drunkenly confess to aventurine and he doesn’t believe you, rather believing that he’s not worthy, less even deserving of your love. despite that, his insecurity, you're under the belief that aventurine deserves all the love in the world. love - something that you want to introduce to him and show him “what it means to love you.”

"I SEE MY REFLECTION IN YOUR EYES" ft. aventurine

aventurine loathes what he sees in the mirror. he avoids looking at his reflection, be it when looking down at champagne glasses, rain puddles or shop display windows. but how come you on the other hand look at him with such adoration? what makes him so special in your eyes, that the person that is reflected in your eyes looks nothing like aventurine but is none other than him. what do you see in him?

OUR LOVE HAS ALWAYS BEEN 10 CENTIMETERS APART ft. aventurine

the distance between the two of you is about to close, the distance will be gone, it only takes a few more inches, but he reminds himself that he can’t - he refrains. later on mere inches turn into vast kilometers, going beyond galaxies and planets. years later he finds you again and makes it up to you, closing the distance as he seals it with a kiss; or the two times the both of you were away from each other even though the only thing you’ve longed for was each other, and the one time where the two of you find your way back to one another again.

505 ft. aventurine

the water that soaks his skin, are those the tears of his goddess, the rain - her gift for his birthday or yours that stain his pale skin? his touch is cold as he attempts to wipe away your tears but isn’t he the reason why you’re crying in the first place?

ANG BEER NA 'TO O ANG PAG-IBIG MO? ft. various characters

taking care hsr men when they’re drunk ft. hsr men

YOU COULD HAVE ANYONE YOU WANT ft. aventurine

sometimes you can't help but wonder why aventurine chose you, out of all people, as his lover.

#felis hsr masterlist!

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sanjisblackasswife · 3 months

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So uh.... Did you see "ore no monogatari"? I think the story is really sweet and cute, i also have "kimi no todoke", "our love has always been 10 centimeter apart" and "I wanto to let you know that i love you"

i think i seen the last one actually a while ago🌞

i may do it again.

Kiki No Todoke i��ve heard that’s good toooooo wayment

#thank u!:)#imma watch one of em todayyy

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bkdk-all-day-err-day · 2 years

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blazing’s ao3 recs: Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 1. The Night We Met by @majjale

One of THE BEST bkdk fics on AO3 imo. This is a must read. I don't usually read MCD but this one was worth the ride, trust me. 2. In Another Life by @hollyandvice

Another masterful fic. This one broke me in the best way. 10/10 recommend. 3. and your touch will draw the poison out by @comradekiwi

Kiwi nails it again!! How beautiful and intimate, I was truly melting at the delicacy and imagery <3 amazing job as always^^ 4. Starfall by @azunou

Another MCD but again, I live for the poetry and imagery so sue me lol do check out their other works too but this one really touched my heart <3 5. Leftovers by @brichibi

aka blazing's obsession with DvK2 rears its head again XP Can't go wrong with house arrest bois! And this one was sooo cute^^

6. A Slightly Different Outcome by @redawilo

YES I'M OBSESSED WITH DVK2 WHAT ABOUT IT (but seriously check this one out^^) 7. To See You Alive by @overcastjpg

Warning this one is ongoing/incomplete but it's actually a really great read so far. Can't wait for future installments! (Also thanks @slug-cube for the rec I hate you but I love you for this one lol :*)

8. our love has always been 10 centimeters apart by...ME!

...not me shamelessly rec-ing my own fic for the third time on here lmao I really do appreciate those of you who read it and shared your feedback with me though! And I'm working on the subsequent parts to the series, so stay tuned! <3

#bkdk #fanfiction #bnha #bkdk ao3 #ao3 #ao3 recs #fluff #angst #mutual pining #dvk2 #post-war canon

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morathicain · 11 months

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It’s time for a new happiness - Pisaeng/Kawi

Warning: breakup, miscommunication, the author’s frustration about episode 10 screams loud in this one

!Don’t like don’t read and don’t complain if you still do it!

Anyway, have fun? I guess?

When Kawi entered their apartment around midnight after his latest concert gig, exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders, the lights were still on. Was Pisaeng still awake?

They rarely met at nights like this because Pisaeng had to get up early and Kawi usually came home late and needed some time to rewind, even if his body screamed for the bed already. Sometimes he’d even sleep on the sofa just so he wouldn’t disturb his partner of eight years. But today, it was different and when Kawi met Pisaeng in the kitchen, sitting on one of the chairs with only a glass of water in front of him, clearly waiting, the dread finally settled in his bones.

He hated this. He’d always hated this. The tension of a serious talk to come, the helplessness of not knowing what would be said, the inability to anticipate the next words, the outcome and what he was supposed to say to make it right, to make it better. Kawi would much rather figure things out on his own and change them so that there was no talk necessary. It had come to the point where Pisaeng didn’t even try anymore and in Kawi’s book that was a win, right? Right?!

“Oh, hey”, he laughed awkwardly, carefully putting his bags away instead of dropping them into the most convenient corner, “You can’t sleep?”

Pisaeng’s voice was somber and calm, not the way he’d usually greet Kawi with a smile that could be heard in every corner of their rooms: “Hello Kawi. How was the gig?”

“Good, good”, Kawi let out an awkward laugh, the tension in his neck so high by now, it was a wonder he hadn’t turned into a stone statue yet, “A full house and the owner gave us a bonus for getting so many people in.”

The following chuckle was a bit softer, Pisaeng’s “I am glad then” almost normal enough for Kawi to persuade himself that everything was well. That it was nothing but his exhausted imagination, that ...

“Kawi”, the seriousness was back and Kawi’s breath caught in his throat, “I know you’re tired and I’m sorry but we need to talk and I haven’t seen you for three days.”

“Ah”, Kawi straightened and scratched his neck with an awkward laugh, avoiding his partner’s eyes desperately, “I’m sorry, it’s been such a busy week with the festival and our usual gigs. I promise it will get better soon. Did you eat anything already?”

“Kawi ...”

“You probably did, of course”, Kawi forced himself not to run to the fridge, taking the longest way possible so he wasn’t anywhere near Pisaeng, “Did you go shopping as well? I am starving, I tell you. They always want to give us drinks but never food.”

“Kawi ...!”

Not even perceiving what was in the fridge, Kawi closed it forcefully again, wincing. “Was your day okay? I know the office has some deadlines coming up, right? You really shouldn’t have waited, I know you don’t get enough sl ...”

A loud bang made Kawi flinch and shut up, involuntarily turning around towards Pisaeng. Pisaeng who was standing by now, leaning on both his hands on the table, trembling. It was a foreign experience to see Pisaeng’s anger so clearly, mixed with a new kind of helplessness, for once not covered by a smile.

“Pisaeng, why ...”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

Kawi’s whole body froze and he could do nothing but stare. What?

Taking a deep breath, Pisaeng reigned in the anger, leaving only sadness: “I have fallen in love with someone else and I want to break up.”

Break up? Nausea overwhelmed Kawi’s mind, flashbacks of their moments together, of bad futures and trying pasts threatening to overcome him.

“I’m sorry”, Pisaeng looked as if he wished he could step close to comfort Kawi but he stayed put, didn’t move even for one centimeter, “We tried and you tried, I know. But while trying to give everyone a happy future and make the right decisions, we can’t forget our own. And this right now? It’s not making either of us happy.”

The words sank in like stones and Kawi felt sick to his stomach. He could do nothing but curl his hands into fists and stare and wish himself away.

A look of pity crossed Pisaeng’s face and Kawi hated it, hated the whole man suddenly, no matter how afraid he was to let him go, to be left alone, once again.

“He”, Kawi swallowed, “Doe he ...” make you happy?

The pity vanished and Kawi didn’t know what to make of the mixture of emotions he now saw: “Of course, that’s the thing you’d ask about. You’re not even angry, not ... Kawi, I didn’t cheat on you, I only fell for someone else and had to realise that we don’t work out anymore. Haven’t done so for a long time actually.”

“Who ...”

“Does it matter? I haven’t even told him yet and I’m not sure I will. Not for a while at least, not while I still struggle with my feelings for you.”

Kawi swallowed: “Do you still love me?”

Pisaeng looked away for a moment, choosing his next words carefully, deliberately, putting another knife into Kawi’s heart anyway: “Not like I used to. Not the way I need to, to stay your partner. I still love our memories, your fondness of food, your puppy eyes and your voice, but it’s different. It’s not enough.”

‘You’re not enough’ was the addition Kawi couldn’t but hear next to Pisaeng’s actual words. It hurt despite knowing that Pisaeng would tell him it wasn’t the case if he uttered those thoughts. It hurt ...

“Kawi”, Pisaeng said after a long moment of silence and Kawi could see and hear the old fondness again, proof of what they’d once had, “It’s not your job to make everyone happy. We’re all our own people and now it’s your job to find your own.”

It was as if a big weight had suddenly dropped from the centre of his chest. Tears threatened to overcome Kawi and he didn’t even know why. Was it heartbreak? Was it relief? All at once?

Tentative steps made him look up, his sight foggy from the tears in his eyes, his breath trembling. Now, Pisaeng was finally in front of him, so familiar and strange at once, his face and body screaming “sorry” and Kawi didn’t want to hear it. But he also did and he didn’t know, wouldn’t know ...

“What do you need, Kawi? Right now?”

The softness was killing him but with the gates that had been closed for so long open suddenly, he couldn’t stop the flood, the sudden surge of needs and wishes and dreams and broken hopes.

“Can you hug me?”, he asked, voice trembling, “One last time?”

And Pisaeng smiled, almost like in old times.

“Of course.”

~~~

The next morning, Pisaeng packed a small suitcase and a bag.

“What about the sheets you chose?”

“You can keep them.”

“They’re ugly, I don’t want them”, Kawi pulled a face and Pisaeng laughed.

“I’ll get them later when I have a new apartment.”

Kawi hummed in agreement and watched his now ex-partner considering his packing carefully. Still in his pyjamas, Kawi was sipping his coffee, his heart weirdly calm and peaceful. Maybe it was because he’d cried so much last night or maybe it was just a short moment, maybe it was real relief. Whatever it was, Kawi didn’t want to think too much about it currently because right now, he felt more relaxed than he’d done for ages. Which was a realisation he for sure had to delve into later but not now.

Now, he was laughing at his boyfriends ex-boyfriends friends (?) struggles with the knowledge that this wouldn’t be the end, no matter what path they’d choose in the future.

“Don’t go the lone wolf route, alright? Tell Max, tell Pear if you want to and I know Fluke will be happy to support you, too. Don’t think you’re alone again, okay? Because you aren’t.”

“Okay, okay”, Kawi rolled his eyes fondly, “I’ll let you know I’m still alive from time to time.”

Pisaeng huffed and flicked Kawi’s forehead before turning to the door: “I’ll tell you as soon as I have an apartment and we can sort out the rest then.”

“Sure, sure ... wait!”

Confused, Pisaeng stopped and stood there while Kawi ran into the kitchen suddenly and came back with an old, battered up mug full of blue turles which he pushed into Pisaeng’s hands: “Don’t forget your old favourites. Even if you’re on your way to find new ones.”

And Pisaeng smiled, pressing the mug against his chest: “I promise I won’t.”

the End

#Be my Favourite #Bmf #PisaengKawi #breakup #I'm sorry I had to #after last episode my brain wouldn't leave me alone #a fix-it in some sort?#you can judge for yourself #hopeful ending

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miyukiissofine · 1 year

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𝐿𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒹, 𝒸𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝓇𝑜𝓅𝓅𝑒𝒹:

♡ favorite; ☆ currently watching; ♧ plan to watch; ✘ dropped (titles without any symbol have already been watched)

Ace of Diamond ♡

Ajin: Demi-Human

Ao Haru Ride ☆

Assassination Classroom

Attack on Titan ♡

Banana Fish ♧

Black Butler ♧

Black Clover

Bleach (2004) ☆

Blue Exorcist (✘ in season 2)

Blue Lock

Blue Period

Blue Spring Ride ♧

Buddy Daddies

Bungo Stray Dogs ♧

Chainsaw Man

Charlotte (✘ just couldn’t get into it)

Classroom of the Elite ♧

Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion ♧

Cowboy Bebop ♧

Daily Lives of High School Boys

Death Note ♡

Demon Slayer ☆

Domestic Girlfriend

Durarara!!

Elegant Yokai Apartment Life ☆

ERASED ♡

Given ♡

Grand Blue Dreaming

Free! ♡

Fruits Basket ♡

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood ♧

Haikyuu!! ♡

Hellsing

Hellsing Ultimate

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

Horimiya

Hunter x Hunter ☆

Hyouka

Jujutsu Kaisen

Junji Ito Maniac: Japanese Tales of the Macabre

Kaguya-sama: Love is War ♡

Kakegurui

Kamisama Kiss ♧

Kimi ni Todoke: From Me to You ☆

Kiss Him, Not Me!

Kuroko's Basketball ☆

Lovely Complex ♧

Lycoris Recoil ♧

Naruto

Naruto Shippuden ♡

Noragami ☆

Maid Sama!

Mashle: Magic and Muscles ☆

Mieruko-chan

Monster

Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun ☆

My Happy Marriage ♡

My Hero Academia ☆

My Home Hero ♧

My Little Monster

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 ♡

My New Boss is Goofy ♧

My Stepmom's Daughter Is My Ex ☆

My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU ♧

Obey Me!

Orange ♧

Our love has always been 10 centimeters apart

Ouran High School Host Club (✘ after 4 eps)

ReLIFE ♡

Re-Main

Romantic Killer

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions ♧

Sasaki and Miyano

Say “I Love You”

Scum’s Wish

Seraph of the End ♡

SK8 the Infinity

Spy x Family

The Daily Life of the Immortal King ♧

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. ♧

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague

The Promised Neverland

The Way of the Househusband ☆

The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting ♧

Tokyo Ghoul ♧

Tokyo Revengers ♡

Tsurune ♧

Vampire Knight (✘ in season 2)

Vanitas no Carte ♡

Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion ♧

Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku ♡

Yona of the Dawn ☆

#about me

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sailorstarr-chan4 · 2 years

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Anime & Manga Updates: 2021 Masterlist

Whoops, I did it again... I'm several months late lmao XD

Ignore this post if you want; this is purely for record-keeping and my own dorky desire to keep up with an old blogging habit lol

Anime/Manga Master Lists: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

Manga, All Included:

Skip Beat (vol 7-34 reread)*

Inuyasha (vol 16-49 reread)*

Alice in the Country of Hearts (complete reread; 6 vol)

Alice in the Country of Hearts: The Mad Hatter's Late Night Tea Party (complete reread; 2 vol)

Alice in the Country of Hearts: My Fanatic Rabbit (complete reread; 2 vol)

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (complete reread; 12 vol)

Tail of the Moon (finished; vol 10-15)*

Kiss Him, Not Me! (vol 2)

Ceres: Celestial Legend (vol 1-4; reread first 2)

Vampire Knight: Memories (vol 4-6)

The Earl and the Fairy (vol 1)

Finished:

1 series (Tail of the Moon)

4 complete rereads (Alice in the Country of Hearts; The Mad Hatter's Late Night Tea Party; My Fanatic Rabbit; Sailor Moon)

[Note: * means I did not read the series all in a row, but overlapped them with others, particularly with the ones I ended up finishing.]

Tragically, I did not consume much "new" manga in 2021; I returned to working full-time hours so I was simply Too Tired

Anime, Finished Only: 28

Hyouka (22 ep)

Love Stage!! (10, +1 ep)

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (28 ep)

Recovery of an MMO Junkie (10, +1 ep)

Anime-Gataris (12 ep)

Konohana Kitan (12 ep)

Kaguya-sama: Love is War (12 ep)

Our love has always been 10 centimeters apart (6 ep)

School Rumble: 2nd Semester (26 ep)

Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch Pure (39 ep)

Science Fell in Love, So I Tried to Prove It (12 ep)

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun (12 ep)

Black Cat (24 ep)

Free! Eternal Summer (13 ep)

Zombie Land Saga (12 ep)

Fruits Basket, 2019 (50 ep)

Fruits Basket: The Final (13 ep)

Nisekoi (20 ep)

Nisekoi: (12 ep)

This Ugly Yet Beautiful World (12 ep)

Interviews with Monster Girls (12, +1 ep)

Dance in the Vampire Bund (12 ep)

Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (12 ep)

Inari Kon Kon (10 ep)

Servamp (12 ep)

Castle Town Dandelion (12 ep)

The Sacred Blacksmith (12 ep)

Emily of New Moon (26 ep)

Incomplete titles below cut:

Anime titles started/restarted yet unfinished: 31 (4 finished later; 14 gave up)

***: restarted

(x).... (x): gave up

Magic User's Club

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle (finished in 2023!)***

(x)Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic***(x)

(x)Denkigai no Honyo-san(x)

Ultra Maniac****

O Maidens in Your Savage Season***

(x)Gravitation(x)

(x)Sailor Moon (old dub lmao; no thanks)(x)

Ghost Stories***

(x)Samurai Pizza Cats(x)

(x)Baka & Test: Summon the Beasts(x)

(x)The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan (basically the chibi crack version of the show; it was incomprehensible)(x)

The Twelve Kingdoms

Revolutionary Girl Utena***

(x)Tales of Zestiria the X***(x)

Trigun (finished in early 2022!)

Outlaw Star

(x)Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits (x)

(x)Okami-san & Her Seven Companions(x)

Darker Than Black

(x)Moeyo Ken(x)

Aria the Animation***

(x)Fate/Zero(x)

Blue Exorcist (finished in 2022!)

Gosick (finished in early 2022!)

Flame of Recca***

Chi's New Home/Chi's New Address

(x)The Blessings of the Campenella(x)

Arte

Arata the Legend

(x)Sands of Destruction(x)

#Starling ramblings #anime and manga updates #master list #2021 #life of an otaku #StarlingChild4

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dhoklaaminoacid · 15 days

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tomorrow is june again and its been exactly 2 years since i have seen your face. i gave you my books to read, everything everything nicola yoon and the seven husbands of evelyn hugo and left to go get some food and you promised you'll come along in just a minute but you didnt. and i was there at the restaurant. eating pasta for two staring at the empty seat in front of me, thinking i wont get to see you for 3 weeks atleast bec summer vacation had begun. 12th boards were over and jee was yet to happen and i was scared that once i go off to college we wont be close anymore and eventually fall apart. guess that happened. in the two years that i havent seen your lips curl into a smile and your eyes glistening w happy tears on seeing me, i have had 10 guys kiss the very lips that begged you to stay and 10 guys have sucked the very neck that faced the blade of my not-sharp-enough knife bec i didnt know how to deal w the void you left in me. the lump in my throat was too big to swallow so i thought why not cut it open altogether and get it over with. am i glad the knife wasnt sharp enough? i dont know. but in the two years i havent seen your arms in the white formal shirt with rolled up sleeves , the very arms that were around my shoulder every second we were together, pulling me in closer, as if even mere centimeters of distance would tear us apart and you didnt want that to happen, you wanted to keep me close, so close that i could feel your breath on the same neck that still has the mark your absense left. 2 years down the lane, i still use the davis-rebecca email address, and here i am listening to our playlist which i should have deleted by now but cannot muster the courage to. i cant bringmyself to erase the last proof of us. "thats us" is playing rn, the same song which made me want to write a book on you and how much i loved to glorify all the pain you caused me, but i guess the prolonged eyecontacts covered up for that. 2 years down the lane and i still remember the useless football facts you told me, people are surprised when i join in the football conversations even though i havent watched a single match in 2 years. champions league final tomorrow, real madrid made it, our team made it. yet i cant bring myself to wear the real madrid jersey you gifted me yet i cant bring myself to watch the fucking match. i have a boyfriend now, should probably forget about you but i cant. i cant delete our playlist i cant delete your number i cant erase you from my mind. took me two years to say i love you to someone, and i still feel like i dont mean it the way i did it w you. i love my boyfriend but i dont think i love him the way i used to love you. it'll always be you, the first one. always. and god how i hate it.

#dni

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dr-felitas · 2 months

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our love has always been 10 centimeters apart - aventurine

synopsis: the two times the both of you were away from each other even though the only thing you’ve longed for was each other, and the one time where the two of you find your way back to one another again.

pairing: aventurine x reader (gn) | wordcount: 2.0k | content & warnings: unestablished relationship, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, reader cries a bit (tiny bit), mentions of alcohol and “sex” (an idiom = get into one's pants) but no graphic mention of sex + they’re not drunk, kissing, making up and making out (one kiss), tba if i find more, proofreading is for losers (its 4am (cet) i'm just too lazy); oneshot

tags: @azullumi (i swear that grey block with spikes from mario literally looks like "alpha sigma boss. you guys agree right?? prove azul wrong.)

img credits: @/magnolia29 on x!

a/n: i started this draft at like 12 an and procrastinated for god knows how long but yeah!! hope this is okay for what sleep deprived me wrote lmfao

“you seriously still wear that thing?”

aventurine points at the wool scarfs you’re wearing, it hangs a bit loosely due to you not wrapping it around your neck enough.

“yeah, got a problem?” you tease, grinning as you look at him. “it’s the first thing i got from you when i was moved to this department.”

ah right. he remembers the day vividly. they said that a certain member has risen quite quickly in the past few months and will now be moved to his department: the strategic investment department.

on the first day of work, aventurine, like the thoughtful senior he is, came up to you and greeted you, offering you a tour around the building and introducing you to the staff and everyone who worked here. you agreed and followed him as he guided you around your new workplace.

the two of you got along quickly, exchanging laughters and telling each other jokes as the two of you were strolling around the building. he remembers gifting you an expensive scarf, one made out of the finest wool in the whole galaxy. you thanked him wholeheartedly and at that he couldn’t help but invite you out for a drink - like the mindful senior he is, of course.

drinking after work became a little habit for the two of you. sometimes the two of you were able to drag veritas or topaz along, but usually veritas denied the invitations, saying “he doesn’t want to mush up his brain due to the alcohol.” as for topaz she usually came along to look after the two of you, but today it seemed like there was an emergency regarding numby, which she had to rush to immediately. leaving you and aventurine alone.

which led you to your current situation, the two glasses of alcohol in front of aventurine are left untouched, everything that happens right now is done with a sober mind. he can’t put the alcohol to blame.

your hands are close, they're a mere 10 centimeters apart from his. it takes everything inside of him to not take your hand in his and smother it in kisses, but he refrains, he can't - he shouldn't even be thinking about something like this.

your soft lips lean forward to meet his, they're a mere 10 millimeters away from his. you continue to launch forward, he doesn't move away, he can't move - he's frozen. you assume he granted you permission to kiss him. your hand snakes towards his, loosely intertwining the tips of your fingers.

your lips ghost over his - the distance between the two of you is gone, it scares him. he fears he might not be able to return if he goes this way.

aventurine can’t help but pull away from your tantalizing touch, it hurts him. but he’s scared.

he slips his fingers out of your grasp, lurching backwards, uncomfortably shifting on the big sofa and scooting back, to move away from you.

your eyes shoot open, clearly filled with confusion. your lips slightly part open and you tilt your head to the side, irritation is written all over your face.

"s-sorry." he apologizes quickly. "i don't think i'm made for this," he mutters. regret immediately overcoming him and you.

"ah, don't worry. i should be the one apologizing. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have just assumed your feelings. forgive me." you try to maintain a steady tone but your voice and expression betray you. your voice quivers - it breaks, it sounds like you're holding back tears that are about to spill at any given moment.

no, no , no this can't be. it's all his fault. he ruined everything once again, his gift was a mere misfortune, it only caused bad luck.

your hand that was once connected with his slithered away from its previous position, this time you really were gone.

perhaps this is when aventurine realized that the both of you weren't just mere inches apart but the distance between the two of you went beyond planets and galaxies and thus could never be conquered.

the two of you were worlds apart.

it’s been a few years ever since he’s seen you. (there hasn’t been a single day where he hasn’t thought about you.) apparently someone caught wind of what happened between you and aventurine, of course they reported it right away. initially it was planned to fire you, for making a move on one of the ten stonehearts, especially as someone who stood below him.

but aventurine convinced them not to do so, saying he’s also at fault and that they should just make you move departments, perhaps you’d learn from your mistakes. it was successful - he was beyond relieved. he didn’t show it, the only thing that was visible to them was a cunning smile.

behind it, beneath the faux smile, he was clenching his teeth, biting the insides of his lips so hard that they began to bleed (he wishes that you were there to trace the outline of your lips over his once again, mending to his wounds - both, the one on his lips and the one in his heart.) his left hand was trembling behind his back as he awaited their judgment.

eventually you did get moved to another department and aventurine didn’t visit you, too caught up at work and business matters on other planets.

(it’s a lie - he knows that himself, it’s just to avoid you. it’s for the better he thinks, better for the both of you to not meet. he fears that all the feelings he kept hidden inside his chest will return and turn his world upside down once again.)

one time he overheard some co-workers gossiping about “the person who got into mr. aventurines pants” getting sent onto a mission that’ll take several years. “what a pity that they won’t get to see him anymore.” a female voice giggles as the other voice hums in agreement and they walk away.

lies. all lies, it had to be. both that you “got into his pants” - hell it was a mere kiss that the two of you exchanged (not even a kiss because he shied away.) but it had to be a lie that you were sent away right? right? It’s just rumors, just some gossip that people need to pass their time, it can't be.

of course, to his dismay, it had to be true.

his luck was truly a misfortune.

spring has come, the remaining snow melts away and turns into puddles. the skies started to clear up and flowers that were once covered in snowflakes, hidden beneath the white blanket of snow, started to open up again, blooming in their full glory.

but there was another flower he spotted, one that stood out from the others - you. after all this time, he’s finally found you.

this time he doesn't falter.

he runs up to you. pulling you into a tight embrace as he hugs you. his nose is buried into the wool scarf you’re wearing, he took notice that it’s the same one he gifted you back then. your scent mixed with his still lingers on it.

“aventurine?!!” you shout, surprised to see him again after all those years.

“you kept it..” he whispers fondly. huh? you’re confused, what is he talking about? “the scarf i mean.” he says without looking up, as if he knew what you were thinking without having to see what expression you wear or hear your voice and which sound you’ve uttered.

“of course, i did.” you say bitterly. “after all, it's the last and only thing i have left from you.” you whisper, a frown finds its way onto your face.

“no. that’s not true.” he protests, finally looking up. it's just like the last time he saw you, your eyebrow furrowed, your eyes telling him that you’re on the verge of crying - similar to when he rejected your advances. “you have me now.” the words barely above a whisper.

“oh aeons, dont, please. i beg of you.” aventurine is quick to put his gloved fingers on your eyes and rub them softly, collecting the tear drops that are about to run down your cheek. “you know i hate seeing you like this.” he whispers quietly as he removes his glove from his hand and rubs circles over your cold and reddened cheeks.

“i missed you.” you hiccup in between your cries, aventurine continues to catch your tears, he won’t allow you to cry any more - especially because he’s the reason why you’re tearing up.

“pshh.” he tries to quiet you. “ive missed you too, probably more than you know.” as an attempt to reassure you.

“i’m here now, i’ll stay with you, i’ll follow you wherever you go.” he leans forward, this time he’s the one initiating the kiss and you gladly return it. his chapped lips meet yours, kissing you messily. there’s some biting and teeth clashing but he couldn’t care less, neither do you - after all this is what you’ve been waiting for.

there's no distance, no fronts, no walls to separate the two of you. he's never felt this kind of love - your love. he hasn't been held this lovingly for an eternity, this is the first time he actually somehow feels human.

boundaries is a word foreign to the two of you, they've never been there - they never will be there because from the beginning on aventurines heart has only sought after you.

it used to terrify him, the way his heart always seemed to jump out of his rib cage upon seeing you. the louder and faster the pumping got the closer you leaned in - just like back then.

but exactly because of that or rather because of you he discovered a new part of himself, diving into an ocean of emotions that were anchored to the bottom of the water, anticipating the daz they'll be discovered and treasured in one's heart. those feelings were unknown to him until he met you.

"what should i say once we meet again?", "what should i do to prove that i'm ready now and don't fear to love or be loved anymore?", "how can i prove my love to you?"

those questions have haunted him in his restless nights, the ones that made him wake up from his deep slumber where he dreamt of you, forehead glistening with cold beads of sweat, gripping his bed sheets tightly. (all of his thoughts and dreams are filled with you.)

the beauty of this world has always been hidden beneath a window curtain, he was oblivious - blind, just how breathtaking the world can truly be.

but you came along, pulling the curtains away, revealing the outside world to him. you stepped into his life and shattered the glass that kept him confined behind the window.

you confessed your unyielding love for him. you love him - you've always done and you always will - you imagined a future which he was a part of. where the vibrant colors of the sun not only greeted you but also him as he laid next to you, side by side. watching as the rising sun kisses your skin with its tendrils of sunshine.

(he'd follow the rays of sunshine and kiss the same spots they marked, he'd leave a trail of kisses along your body.)

how can he ever repay you for what you've done for him?

a mere thank you wouldn't suffice - not in a million years.

if you were to ask him if he'd give you the sun, the moon, the stars or the whole sky - he would.

if you were to ask him if he'd get on his knees for you - he would, no questions asked. be it when he prays to you, pleas leaving his lips and dripping off his tongue or when he'd kneel down on one of his knees to tie your shoes or propose to you - he would.

if you were to ask him if he'd stay by your side all night or rather all life long - he would. he'd be your light that'd guide you even though the flame went extinct, he'd be your flesh you'd nibble on, he'd be your blood you live off.

he wouldn't hesitate for a single moment, he'd give you everything you yearn and long for in a single heartbeat.

after all, that's the least he can do for you.

@azullumi here extra paragraph again hhihihihuuh anyway when's the stoner!chuuya x stoner!reader fic like where??? also azul i love you a lot. you deserve the best - you deserve the world. i hope you get accepted into your dream uni, get everything you've worked hard for (u deserve it, you're a person full of determination) and yeah convince ur teacher to extend the deadline!!

e/n: it's 4am rn im sooooo tired but yeah here!

#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #aventurine x reader #honkai star rail fluff #aventurine fluff #honkai star rail x gn reader #honkai star rail imagines #aventurine hsr #aventurine x you #honkai star rail x you #hsr angst #honkai star rail angst #hsr fluff #hsr imagines #aventurine headcanons #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #felis-files

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