#outer wilds took like four tries even though i knew it would be good i just wasnt hooked

[blissfulstatic]

i started all of these games at wildly different times, took varying levels of breaks partway through each of them, and then finished all of their achievements in the same two days

i don't know what to do with myself now

[obislittleone]

House Of Memories (1/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: slavery, fluff (just sweet, young Obi-Wan)

Summary: Obi-Wan recalls his first time meeting you, when you were a slave on your home planet.

A/n: so this had literally been in my drafts about a year now I didn't even remember it was there then I saw all the Kenobi stuff coming out and remembered it existed.... anyway enjoy this there will be a whole series for it

Words: 2.2k (kinda short for me, I know)

Obi-Wan remembers the first time you entered his life like it was yesterday. When he was only eighteen years old, he and his master came across a slave camp on an outer rim planet called Mimban. It was out of the Republic's jurisdiction; therefore, the anti-slavery laws did not apply.

The mission that brought them here was simple enough, or so Master Qui Gon had initially thought. The labor camps on this planet made it practically impossible to find the separatist base. The Master and his young padawan walked endlessly until they got to a point of restlessness. At this point it would lead them to believe that maybe there was no hidden base at all, that perhaps this was a gigantic set up to haul them off on a wild goose chase while important things happened back at the Jedi temple. They of course scolded themselves a moment later for the thought. They only needed to concentrate, to sense something even the slightest bit off in the force. They had been trained to do it, and had before... the only thing keeping them from deciphering the exact location was a small stint in the force. A single being that held a strong presence.

"Master, do you-?"

"Yes, I sense it," Qui Gon turned on his heels immediately. He knew that the separatist base would not be found until the fork in the road had been delt with. The force signature radiating off of one person or creature in this place was the only thing either him or Obi-Wan could possibly focus on.

The young padawan followed after his teacher with much ambition to seek out the distraction, nay, the opposing pull in the force.

They both came to a stop at the edge of the camp, and low and behold, a child, maybe three or four years old at most, was working tirelessly in mud. Qui Gon tried to shuffle through her thoughts, perhaps to find a name, or a family, but she guarded them by the force, without even possibly meaning to. How a small child at such a young age could possess such power and subconsciously know how to use it already was beyond either of their comprehension, and yet even Obi-Wan, as doubtful as he was, easily found himself able to tell that the large force signature belonged to her.

"It can't be," Obi-Wan mumbled to himself, continuing towards the child as his Master did.

"It can, and it seems to be so."

Qui Gon was the first to approach the youngling, his nurturing fatherly instincts took over when he knelt down beside her, scraping mud into a bucket with her bare hands. She seemed so focused, which was irregular for a mind so young. Perhaps as a slave, she was forced to learn tasks even before this age. He wasn't sure if he should start with the native language of the lands, or in galactic basic. He wasn't very up to par with his Mimbanese, so he opted for the latter.

"Hello, young one."

She glanced up at him, and brilliance was held in her eyes, he could sense that much. A prodigy perhaps. She was listening intently for him to continue, though she knew he didn't belong to this camp, or even this planet. He was unrecognizable to her.

"I am Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn of Coruscant, and this is my Padawan learner, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

At the mention of his name, Obi-Wan stepped forward. The little girl looked at him and stood up. She took a step towards him curiously, before grabbing at his hand and yanking it towards the ground she was on only moments ago. She began her work again, and even gave some fistfuls of mud to Obi-Wan for good measure.

"It appears she wants you to help her."

Qui Gon let out a chuckle. Obi-Wan did as the small child did, using his hands to fold mounds of dirt and mud into the tall metal buckets that sat beside her. He wasn't ever fond of children before, in fact, he might say he was often annoyed by them. He wasn't sure of this specific child yet, but she did make him quite curious.

"I sense her midichlorian count is quite high. I need to find who she belongs to. Keep her busy and make sure she stays within sight," Qui Gon stood, dusting what he could from his cloak. Obi-Wan nodded and watched as his master turned back to the camp before his sleeve was tugged on again by the child. An impatient little thing she was. He furrowed his brow as he got back to work helping her, filling the bucket with mud for whatever purpose it would be used.

Once done, she stood to her feet, beginning to pull one of the buckets with all her strength. He followed along, carrying the other bucket and going to wherever the destination was. He almost felt a hint of annoyance, until he saw her struggling over a bump in the ground. He instantly felt a large deal of compassion for realizing the actual situation here. This wasn't a child playing in the dirt for the fun of it, this was a slave that was being worked hard at an incredibly young age, with no hope of anything better.

He had of course heard of the slave trades of the outer rim territories, however he had yet to see the product of one. He had only just realized he stopped in his tracks, because after the child managed over the bump in the ground, she stopped also, looking up at him with a tilt in her head. She had made it clear she wanted him to follow her, did she not?

"I'm sorry," he spoke hurriedly, continuing on the pathway.

She seemed to be getting tired from dragging that entire bucket, but she kept onwards anyways, and it struck a nerve with Obi-Wan. He wondered how poorly a small thing like her must be treated to carry on like she did with no hesitation.

He looked closer at her hands and feet, both bare, covered in dirt as well as cuts and scrapes. He couldn't bear to stand back and allow her to do this any longer. It pained him now that he didn't see it before. All these people, these children that were bound to this planet to do labor for others they probably owed nothing to. He had an emotional awakening, a spring of immense compassion and sympathy all at once. He'd been so sheltered from such things before, that now it was all he could see.

He walked beside the child and picked up her bucket as well, nodding forward as to tell her she could lead him on. She did so, walking faster now that she didn't have a load to carry. The two buckets of dirt were a small weight to Obi-Wan, but it made him feel better to take it from her.

They continued on to what looked like a large sinkhole on the side of their camp. Others were dumping large crates of mud to fill it, and he assumed that's what she was doing also, however little she could.

She looked up at him and pointed into the sinkhole. He dumped the buckets into a scarcely filled area, then looked back to her. It seemed foolish to him at first, following after a child and doing her bidding, but now he did it willingly without question. He just wanted to help her.

She started on her way back to the mounds of dirt past the front of camp again, and he was ready to follow diligently if not for the voice of his Master.

"I dare say you follow her orders better than my own," Qui Gon said in a joking tone. He smiled and stopped in his tracks, the girl also stopping when she realized the one holding the buckets wasn't going back to the dirt with her.

"I only wanted to assist her in her labor."

"She won't be laboring here any longer. I've struck a deal to have her released into our possession."

Obi-Wan smiled. If even one child under these horrible circumstances had a chance of a better life, then he was by all means pleased. The little thing looked confused, but she heard a few things she understood. She just didn't know what it meant. She didn't know what the Jedi were, although Qui Gon had introduced himself as such.

"What of our previous mission?" Obi-Wan asked, his curiosity of their former reason for being on this planet got the better of him just now.

"The separatists seem to have already left their base on this planet. The council will be far more pleased to hear of our unintentional finding, I'm sure."

Qui Gon approached the girl again, but this time she seemed a small bit more intimidated. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to be taken away. She took a step backwards, then looked at Obi-Wan.

They both sensed her fear, and Obi-Wan remembered what it was like to leave everything he'd known to go train at the temple. He had come from better circumstances, however.

Obi-Wan knelt to the ground again, beckoning her over with a soft look on his face. "Don't be afraid."

It took a few moments, and she came slow, but made her way to him, nonetheless. He couldn't help but smile. She trusted him.

He scooped up her small form in his arms, and she grabbed at the hood of his cloak to keep steady. She seemed quite comfortable there, a puzzled look coming over her face as she toyed with his padawan braid.

His master kept looking back over his shoulder at the two. He had been trying for years to make his padawan understand the power of assisting those in need. It seems he only needed to experience it for himself. It was part of the Jedi way, and Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to grow into an exceptional Jedi.

Once back on the ship, Qui Gon presented his apprentice with a testing kit, one he knew as familiar. He also handed him some first aid supplies, as it seemed she would be needing some fixing up.

"We need to test her blood for an M count. If there's not enough blood you may have to draw it before we return," Qui Gon started up the ship, and lifted it off of the maker forsaken planet.

Obi-Wan was hesitant but continued to do as his Master instructed of him. The frightened look on the small girl's face was a stab to his chest as he set her down on one of the seats.

"It's alright, I won't hurt you."

He didn't see any ease come across her face, but he felt a sudden calmness in her force signature that encouraged him to continue. He cleaned up her hands and feet as best he could with what little he had, and unfortunately, there wasn't enough blood to be tested. He really didn't want to do this, but it had to be done sooner or later. He figured talking might make it better.

"Little one, what is your name?" He asked as he prepared a draw stick. He saw the gears in her head turning, so clearly, she was distracted enough.

"Y/n," she pointed to herself, not sure what else to say.

He pulled her arm slightly away from her body so it could only be seen in her peripheral vision. He kept his eyes on hers as to not let on to what he was doing.

"Well, I'm very glad to have met you, Y/n."

He poked the draw stick just barely under her skin, and she jolted a bit at the sudden prick of pain. He readied another question to keep her mind busy.

"Do you remember my name?" He quickly ran the draw, collecting a small blood sample for the M test.

"Yes," She nodded quickly, then pointed at his chest as she said "Obi."

"That's very good," he smiled genuinely, placing a small pad on her arm and taping it down until the small blood flow had clotted.

"Am I going to come work for you?"

He was a bit surprised at how chatty she had become in only a moment. Perhaps they didn't allow her to speak very often in her camp. It seemed no one there actually did.

"No, little one," he chuckled slightly, starting the blood test while she watched from her seat. "Where we're going, the only work you will do is training."

Maker, he thought, 15,000 midichlorians. His M count was around 13,500, and he thought he had a fairly high count. This child was stronger with the force than most of his friends or colleagues.

"Training?" She titled her head again, as she had all those times before. It was endearing.

"It's going to be fun," he nearly promised. "You will learn about the force, and everything you can do with it."

She seemed very confused, and Obi-Wan figured that even with her heightened intelligence, she was still only a child, at the age of three of four at most.

He watched her yawn, seeing her eyes begin to droop heavy. He opted to carry her into the back seating area, where the seats were more like benches. He knew she would be more comfortable here. He sat her down, and then he followed, letting her head rest over his knee. She was out like a light, and it didn't take long for him to be, too.

-

(Tags for this series are open)

[aminiatureworld]

In My Dreams II

Characters: Diluc, fm!reader

Word Count: 3,273

Warnings: Depictions of a panic attack

Premise: The past is many things. Something to admire, something to learn from, something to hold dear. And yet how unreliable it can be, especially in the hands of ghosts.

In which the reader dreams of the past.

Author’s Note: Translation notes and historical references will come after the fic. The history nerd really came out this time around.  

Diluc

You knew that holding onto the past too much was a dangerous game to play. Yet you continued to chase it, desperately looking for something that might finally bridge your present self to the person you’d left behind.

You’d been mostly upfront to Diluc about this obsession of yours. Knowing that your partner also lost his family, it was easier in some ways to grasp onto this shared loss, and to use it as a way to continue on. Not that Diluc ever pushed you to forget your past, as other might have done. Instead he tried to help you, using his not inconsiderable connections to attempt to find as such land that matched the vague descriptions you could give. Though you knew the quest was most likely no more than a wild goose, you greatly appreciated his attempt to help.

However you knew that even someone as kind and understanding as Diluc would never be able to condone something like this.

You rubbed your arms, feeling every inch of the cold musty ruins around you. You’d heard that a sizeable group of Abyss members were gathering here and figured that these figures who boasted of civilizations long gone might be valuable pieces of information. Though sneaking into a gathering of the upper members of the Abyss was perhaps not the smartest thing you’d ever done. It was too late to turn back now however. Ducking into a corner you slowed your breathing, hoping that no one would care to look at the nook in which you were now curled up.

Listening to the slow creaking of the domain you suddenly felt the hairs on the back of your neck standing up as the air grew charged with magic. The room around you suddenly grew completely silent, as if even the walls were aware of something important. Not daring to sneak a peak at what was happening you closed your eyes, willing your senses to focus on your ears.

“My brethren, I’m glad to see you.”

Opening your eyes wide you gathered your control, willing yourself to not immediately turn around. The voice was familiar, its cadence smooth and soothing, polished as marble. It struck something within you, some deep hidden memory that you’d long ago forgotten. Now that memory struggled to the surface of your mind, the sketch of a long ago time.

“I know that our plans are continuing smoothly. Soon we will able to Khaenri’ah, and topple those who so callously left it to smolder, having lit the flame themselves. We will one more emerge into the world, no longer required to hide our faces.”

The words passed through you, intangible as air. What were they talking about? Nothing was making sense, not one word was something you could interpret. And yet the voice seemed almost an explanation in itself. If you knew who was talking then you’d find out the answers, or at least some of them. Vraning your head ever so slightly you looked up, jerking back slightly in shock as you found amber eyes staring right at you.

The person who was talking was immensely familiar, everything about them echoed with a long gone familiarity. Looking out of place amidst the rank and file members of the Abyss he exuded a cold sort of confidence, a determination to see his words realized. Staring at him you noticed the emblem which embellished the scarf he wore around his neck, a golden eagle which seemed to move with the fabric. A part of you was tempted to run, but you found yourself frozen, trying desperately to process the figure which danced before your eyes.

The young man said nothing, gaze shifting as he calmly began to speak again, though you couldn’t hear his words over the pounding of your heart. When his gaze once more passed yours he grinned an understanding sort of grin. It was as if you two were cohorts in some sort of pranks of scheme, rather than complete strangers who stood on opposites ends of an invisible struggle. The gesture confused you, and you found yourself sinking back to the ground. Putting your head in your arms you took a few deep breaths. You would figure out what was going on. It was alright, there was a logical explanation for this. Perhaps he just wanted to finish up this odd gathering before turning his minions upon you.

And yet the order to attack never came. After what must’ve been at least an hour the young man declared the gathering over. The air filled with the familiar mark of waypointing, and soon the ruin was once more deadly quiet. Straightening your back you studied the wall opposite of you, sure that you were dreaming a confusing sort of dream.

“You can come out now.”

You jumped, freezing as you wondered what to do. You thought that you were alone, yet he remained. Was this the moment, had you truly just been tricked.

“You don’t have to be so afraid.” Laughter drifted to your ears. “I promise the rest are gone.”

Slowly turning around you peered over the broken wall once more. True to the young man’s word there was no one left, only the two of you.  Standing up slowly you summoned your sword, still not trusting the person in front of you.

“What is it?”

“That’s the last thing I expect you to ask.” The young man was smirking now. “Surely there are more important things.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“You wound me! Have you truly forgotten the face of your family.”

The words felt jagged, almost accusatory. You stiffened, face twisting into a scowl as you moved your sword slightly forward.

“You’re a liar.”

“I assure you I’m not! Why, I cannot believe you truly have forgotten so much. Is it just me, or have we all been banished from your thoughts?”

Reaching into his pocket he threw something at you. Catching it you stared at the egg, mind full of half-incredulous questions. The egg was evidently a work of ambition and love, its outer shell the color of the night. Diamonds crept up the sides of the egg, embedded into gold that shone even in the dark of your current place. There were four portraits embedded into the sides, studded with diamonds and crowned with stars that seemed so bright and silverly you were almost afraid to run your fingers over them. Something that seemed to be monograms sat underneath the portraits, but the script evaded your understanding.

Shifting your gaze to the portraits you found an even greater surprise. The person staring back at you, a small smile on her face, was you – though you couldn’t recognize the complex dress in which you’d been painted. The portrait was such a good likeness it took your breath away, the miniscule brush strokes truly the work of a master painter. Rotating the egg slowly you recognized the young man in front of you as the next model. Sporting what could only be some sort of military uniform, small medals of red and blue lined up on top of a blue sash, he seemed to be joking with the artist, his cocky smile offset by the stark lighting of his eyes. Next was a woman, somewhat who could only be this boy’s mother. He face was set in a straight line, her expression one of regal aloofness, as if she was thinking of something very far away. She was wearing the same sort of dress as you, though hers was much more complex in nature. The clothing screamed importance, as if to confirm the expression on her face. Lastly you found yourself looking at the portrait of someone who was presumably the boy’s father. Surprisingly under dressed her wore the same uniform as the boy, the only distinction being the number of medals. No crown sat on his head, no sign of any particular regal bearing shone in the portrait; instead there was a tiredness about him, a cloud which betrayed the fact that he was ultimately quite unworthy of remembrance.

“Do you remember now?”

You looked up wildly, denial fighting with realization as you shook your head. This wasn’t remembering; remembering was something else entirely. Remembering wasn’t the feel of the world sinking around you, remembering wasn’t losing faith in the world around you.

“Are you telling me that this means nothing to you?” Accusation flooded the boy’s speech as he glared at you.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I, I don’t trust this.”

“Always the same sister.” The boy’s tone was mocking now. “You always were the suspicious one, and as unambitious as our poor father once was.”

“Was?”

“He’s changed his tune quite a bit. He had too, of course. How could anyone stay so weak after surviving what we survived?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about death. Or as close to it as one can get I suppose. You should know this, you were there when they stormed the place, when they took us away. You were there when we were ordered to the basement.”

A flash of memory danced in your vision, speeding up your breath as you were overtaken by sudden panic. Swaying slightly you screwed your eyes shut, letting out a cry of frustration when the memory only grew stronger. You were dancing for a moment, spinning around with the boy in front of you as a distant melody drifted upon the air. Then you were inside an unfamiliar place, the new space so claustrophobic it squeezed the air out of you, the windows, having been painted over, offered no reprise. Then it was midnight and you were shuffling outside. The stars seemed so distant; they’d stared cold and unfeeling down as you shuffled behind a familiar figure, entering a door which seemed so familiar.

You leaned against the stone wall, trying to find some sort of reprieve in the cold damp of it. Forcing your eyes open you stared once more at the strange boy in front of you. His expression was one of ill-concealed triumph, mixed with barely suppressed rage.

“Do you see now? Do you see what they did to us? A wonder any of us escaped at all, then again I suppose those wretched idiots had no sense of magic. They were after all a bunch of thugs.”

“Where… where was that place?” You heaved slightly, feeling as if the ground was floating underneath you.

“Somewhere long destroyed. No point in thinking of it now. There is only this world after all. This world and the destruction that seized it as well. Only this one can be saved.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Khaenri’ah! The city struck down by the gods who could contemplate no power except their own! Their people suffered the fate of ours, should they not get the revenge we will never be allowed?”

“You’re mad.”

“Am I? Or are you just the same coward as always?” The boy shook his head. Pointing to the egg in your hand he back away. “You can keep it. Think of it as a memento, a way to contact me. If you ever wish to see right, well, I’ll be waiting.”

And then he was gone, so fast it was as if he’d never existed, as if he’d suddenly turned to dust. Sinking to the ground you pushed scalding air into your lungs, watching helplessly as your vision spotted around you. What had you done, oh gods what had you done?

The return trip to the Winery was an excruciating one. At first panic had been your only sensation, as you half stumbled, half crawled your way out of the Abyss’ lair, stopping every few minutes to lay down as to not pass out. The moment you got into the open air you made your way towards the nearest stream, waterlogging yourself in your hurry to pour icy water down your throat. Collapsed on the back you stared up at the sky. It was still night, which meant Diluc was probably guarding Mondstadt. You prayed to Barbatos that he wouldn’t notice your absence, for how could you deal with your shame? You’d been so foolish. How could you have ever expected things to turn out well? Now you were simply paying the price for your arrogance.

Finally lifting yourself up from your position you stumbled the rest of the way to the Winery, careful to keep your mind blank, afraid of what might happen if you let panic once more set in. Tears pricked in your eyes as familiar vines appeared within your sight, and you could’ve cried for joy upon opening the sturdy oaken door and crossing the threshold of the place you’d learned to call home. Creeping upstairs, hoping desperately that you hadn’t managed to wake any of the other residents, you breathed a sigh of relief when you entered the familiar bedroom which you’d grown to call you own. Sinking down onto the coverlet you let out a soft sigh, finally letting tears fall as you drifted off to sleep.

 -------

Yet your dreams refused to offer you any sort of reprieve. Finding yourself in a darkened hall you silently passed a variety of rooms, their imposing grandeur a familiar one. Someone seemed to be whispering a song in your ear, though when you turned to see who it was no one appeared.

“How can I desert you, how to tell you why.”

Reaching a room even grandeur than the rest you stared at the chairs that sat on dais on the opposite side from where you entered. They shimmered as if a mirage, and when you went to approach them two figures seemed to appear out of thin air. The man and the woman that were painted into the egg gazed at you with sad eyes, each saying nothing as you continued to make your way towards them.

“Let me have a moment, let me say goodbye.”

“Who are you?” You called out to them. The woman turned her head, as if ashamed of your lapse of memory. The man stood up slowly, arms reaching towards you slightly. Hurrying your pace you moved to meet him, spurred on by some unrecognized emotion.

“Harsh and sweet and bitter to leave it all.”

You as you reached the man he vanished, red ash falling softly to the ground in his wake. Gasping in horror you watched as the woman did the same. Suddenly the dream began to crumble, burning itself away to reveal nothing but black. Dropping you into an eternal night you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll bless my homeland ‘til I die.”

You bolted up, mind struggling to place where you were. Looking around you, your eyes were met with the familiar comforts of your home. A soft light drifting through the crack in the curtains, the foretelling of the dawn.

Besides you Diluc stirred. Sitting up slowly, rubbing his eyes in a gesture which made your heart squeeze, he glanced at you through sleep eyes.

“Is there something wrong, my love?”

You meant to say no, to assure him that you’d just had a strange dream. Yet the softness of his voice was contrasted so with the venom of the young man and the silence of the people who seemed to have been your family that you found yourself cracking. The sobs were soft at first, but soon you found yourself wailing, not caring how your hoarse voice pierced through the quiet of the Winery.

“My love?”

Diluc immediately wrapped his arms around you, saying nothing as you continued to sob into his chest, staining his nightshirt with tears as you cried out all the tears you could possibly contain. You felt like the world around you was shattering, like nothing was real anymore. You felt as if all you had held to was suddenly gone, and nothing remained but searing contempt.

“It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Diluc carded his fingers through your hair, whispering soft words of comfort as your sobs diminished. Finally you felt completely spent, and as you relaxed in his arms you felt a sudden surge of tiredness, washing over you and calling you once more to the perilous depths of sleep.

“May I ask you what’s wrong?”

You fought your fatigue, disconnecting yourself slightly as to look Diluc in the face. Could you tell him what had occurred? Could you lay bare your weakness, your shame, your guilt? A part of you recoiled at the idea. And yet, as you stared at Diluc you found yourself recounting what happened, shaky breaths accompanying your soft confession. Lowering your gaze you spoke of your night, grateful that Diluc never let his arms leave you.

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Why should you be sorry?” Lifting your gaze you found Diluc’s eyes raw, his expression one of surprising honesty.

“I was selfish, and I didn’t expect the consequences of my action. All I could think of was the past, of getting back what I’d once had.”

“And is that not a natural thing?” Diluc took a deep breath, hold on you tightening slightly. “If I could not remember what had happened to my father – if I woke up one day in an  unfamiliar place with nothing but a sense of loss – I would go to the ends of the world to find what I’d lost. There is no crime in wanting your loved ones home, even when you cannot recognize them.”

“And yet it seems the only survivor has turned into a monster.”

“Does that make your past love for him any less? Do the bonds of family immediately cut the moment our loved ones turn rotten?”

You thought back to the young man in the ruins, to his mockery and his impatience. You hated him, you hated what he was doing. And yet you missed him, you somehow missed him so much. Turnign towards the nightstand you opened the small drawer. Pulling out the egg you’d been given you examined it in the dim light. How beautiful it was, how different from the image that had been put in front of you.

“Do you wish to forget what you have remembered?” Diluc’s voice was filled with nothing but kindness.

“No.” Even if it embarrassed you to say, you knew it was the truth.

“Then don’t forget it.”

You smiled, placing the egg once more in your drawer. Though it had only been a few words, though this terrible night hadn’t been erased from your memory, you somehow found yourself much lighter. Turning to Diluc you pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Thank you.”

Diluc said nothing, merely leaning down to kiss you as well. Cushioned in the familiar sanctuary of his arms you allowed the darkness of your encounter to drift from your mind.

 -----

Drifting off to sleep you found yourself once more in a corridor, face to face with the man who was once your father. You stared at him, wondering if he would disappear again.

“Are you truly happy as you are now?”

“Yes.” Somehow you knew it was the truth.

“I see,” the man nodded, a slight smile flashing across his face, “then we shall keep you no longer.”

Leaning over he kissed you softly on the forehead. Next to him now stood the woman who was one your mother. Smiling now, a smile which utterly transformed her melancholy aura, she wrapped you in a hug.

“Do not forget us.” She whispered.

Even as the words were spoken you knew that you never could.

--------------------------

The egg that I used this time around is a reference to Faberge eggs. The tradition having been started by Alexander III giving an egg every Easter to Empress Maria Feodorovna, the tradition was continued by Nicholas the second - who gave an egg to his wife and his mother every year. Each egg is a masterpiece of innovation and creativity and is breathtaking in its aesthetic and in the mechanic of hiding its “surprise”. The two eggs I used as reference were the Alexander Palace Egg (1908) and the Twelve Monogram Egg (1896).

The song that I referenced this time around was “Stay I Pray You” from the Anastasia musical. Highly recommend.

The parents are based off of Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna. I do not have time to go into them because we will be here for 300 years. The dresses I mentioned are traditional Russian court gowns. An image will be linked in the reblog.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “An Honest Conversation.”

Addressing the elephant in the room, and beginning to deal with a problem that has been ongoing for a few months. Hope you all like :)

The room was half dark, it wasn’t due to the time of day or anything, but mostly because he considered it the perfect ambiance for practicing. Besides, it was easier to see if the lights were dimmed just a little. He adjusted the holographic headset over his head and eyes and dropped into a low crouch. In front of him the small Drev warrior in the hologram did the same. He followed it’s movements repeatedly practicing the forms laid out before him. Forms that were unfamiliar.

The forms of what the Drev were now calling the Resurgence….. The new spiritual fighting forms brought about by their new saint and distributed to Drev all over the galaxy, brought down from the mountain and their saint. The saint of the Sun.”

Sunny

His current weapons specialist and ex.

She had returned to the ship after the incident with the writing not everyone could read.

He spun the spear in a tight circle.

Now that was another can of worms entirely considering that he had been taken over…. Possessed? By some kind of cosmic being who said he both was and wasn’t Deus, but was and wasn’t Adam himself, which of course Adam took issue with considering --the last time he checked-- he didn’t have any unfathomable godly powers. From the short and…. Admittedly awkward, conversations with Sunny, it seems that that same being had helped her to develop the fighting styles, coming to her in the middle of some ritualistic trance, taking his form and also claiming to be him at the same time.

Due to these encounters, the UNSC and GA had added this Deus/not Deus to a watchlist of possibly dangerous alien species which included, right now, only the space dragons and that weird organic structure which had given him the vision. Anything they couldn’t explain or understand went on the list.

And yes of course there were a few people who had managed to study the space dragon, but they still didn’t understand how it could so easily travel from one area of space to another, or how it seemed to move faster than it should be able to even when it wasn’t creating its own warp tunnels.

And now there was this Deus, who seemed to be able to read people’s minds, encroach on their dreams, and had the power to survive in environments hostile to man or alien.

He jabbed forward with the spear and spun back.

He was practicing the human form, which he found to be the most pleasing and convenient. 

Not that he was biased or anything.

Around him, a few more bodies filtered into the room  heading to the periphery where the TVs and games were set out. No one bothered him, where he practiced in the center dueling ring.

At least not until.

“Try keeping your elbow a little higher.”

He was startled out of his rumination, and turned to look towards where the voice had come from, only to freeze when he saw Sunny standing at the edge of the circle, shimmering spear in hand.

Ever since she had come back , there was something different about her. 

A cool, poise and confidence that hadn’t been so evident.

In his opinion it just made her more of a badass, and tried very hard to intimidate him though he didn’t let it.

He adjusted his elbow, “You mean like this.”

“Better, you’ll get more power out of a thrust.”

He lowered his spear and rested it against the floor. An awkward silence reigned between them for a moment. But based on the calm expression of her face, he knew it was only awkward because of him.

He sighed and then straightened himself, smiling. He lifted his spear gently swaying the tip back and forth in her direction, “So what does the great Saint think about a little friendly duel.”

She looked at him in mild amusement, and he knew that she knew that he knew she was going to kick his ass, but what else was he supposed to do? Talk? What would he even say?

Getting his ass kicked was much easier.”

“I’m not sure about that….”

 She trailed off 

He shook his head, “Oh come on you’re like the best warrior on Anin now, it's not like anyone is going to give you a really GOOD fight. But if you’re looking for a mediocre one, you might as well pick me.”

The corners of her mouth tightened, ‘I don’t thin-”

“I challenge you to a duel.”

She cut off and looked at him.

He continued to smile.

He had made a formal challenge, there was really no way for her to back out and the two of them knew it. That didn’t stop her from looking mildly concerned as she stepped into the circle. Adam kicked off his shoes looking for better grip against the floor with his bare feet. Sunny set herself up on the other side.

Adam’sl challenge had drawn attention from a few of the Drev in the room, who wandered over to watch the fight, no one had seen Sunny in combat just yet, and everyone was more than a little curious about what she could do now, Adam most of all. He knew that she had gone and practically been exalted, but also, he had always thought she was a talented warrior. He had trouble imagining her being any better.

He was about to eat those thoughts in a  moment as one of the Drev took the opportunity to referee the fight.

They clicked out the starting command, and before he really knew what was going on, he was surrounded by a mailstrum of metal as her spear whipped around this way and that faster than he could have thought possible. He came out of the first attack surprised that he wasn’t dead and unsure how he had kept her back. Though he was sure that a large portion of that had been luck.

She came at him again, and he threw himself into a wild dodge, careening backward around the outer edge of the circle as she continued to advance.

He tried to fend her off, but that was about the only thing he COULD do.

Months and months of practice, and another month fighting with the neospartan colony on the archipelago and the only thing he could do was just not die.

She whipped her spear around and he deflected it to the side, but she came back again reversing the momentum of his deflection and nearly catching him on the arm. He quickly switched hands and caught her third attack which came from under and up. The clattering of their spears had brought the attention of the rest of the crew, who turned in their seats to watch.

Sweat rolled down from his hairline.

Then she did something she had never done before and kicked at the back of his knee with her forward foot. Drev didn’t do kicks, but there she was, and suddenly he was on the ground. She came in for an overhand strike which he just barely caught and had to struggle to keep off him. His eyes were wide.

He was losing.

And losing badly.

He tried not to think about it, but couldn’t help but be reminded how Drev battle partners worked…. How they had to be equal in a fight.

She was just toying with him.

His hands trembled as the spear bore down towards his chest struggling against her strength. He was going to lose…. Just like that, right here on the floor… on his back.

He had given into the inevitability when.

NO!

He could do better!

With a primal yell of anger and frustration spurred on by adrenaline he thrust his arms forward, throwing her back and nearly off balance. Around the circle the Drev muttered as he leapt to his feet. His teeth were gritted, and this time it was he who attacked his focus and frustration meeting at a sharp spearhead point.

This time it was her backing up around the circle as he came forward.

It might have been her surprise that allowed that sudden lapse, but soon she was throwing her own attacks in, sharp and snapping like a whip. He caught them, just barely.

Their fight grew faster and faster, the blows grew harder and harder, until his hands grew numb with every strike struggling to even keep hold of his spear.

Together they fought back and forth shedding sparks. 

A crowd had gathered, a few of the humans looked as if they wanted to intervene, but Drev stopped them.

Adam came in for a side blow, which she caught, but this time the vibrations were too powerful, and his spear was knocked from his hands to go rolling across the floor and out of the circle. The Crowd stood with a cry of shock expecting the fight to be over. Sunny swung at him, and he ducked following up with a tight twisting kick that somehow caught the shaft of the spear against the ball of his foot. The blow was so powerful that her weapon was reached for her hand to go spinning after his own.

The room stared in shock and awe as they ended up on opposite sides of the circle from each other.

Sunny glanced over at the proctor as if expecting him to reset the match with their weapons.

But by then he was too far gone. All his pent up frustration at himself came out in one fell swoop as he rushed forward across the circle leaping into  a flying tackle which threw both of them violently to the ground.

The sound they made as they hit the floor was like the crack of gunfire. 

Four hands against two they fought, Sunny kicked him off, and he skidded across the floor onto to right himself and came running back. He caught her around the neck this time, grabbing her around the throat with one arm in a choke hold squeezing at the arteries on the slides of her neck, just similar enough to work like a human did.

Her hands scrabbled at his arms, and for a moment he forgot about her second pair of arms.

That was at least until the sharp carapace of her elbow came down on the inside flesh of his thigh. That loosened his grip sufficiently enough for her to throw him off. Unfortunately things didn’t work out well for him.

And there was a sharp crack and sudden roaring pain in his temple as his head hit the ground and bounced.

There was an audible gasp from the crowd as he rolled to land on his stomach on the other side of the circle. He was dazed and his head hurt horribly, but as if he was being guided on autopilot, he got back up.

Across the circle Sunny was just getting to her feet, and with a grimace she looked as if she was about to speak, but he didn’t let her, coming at her again.

Their grappling took them to the floor on multiple occasions, only for them to jump back up when one or the other broke free.

Across the circle the proctor motioned for their attention, and with the flash of metal on metal, their two spears were tossed back into the circle. Adam caught his from the air, as did Sunny, and then they were back at it again with no holds barred, full speed and full strength.

He caught Sunny high on the shoulder causing her to stagger and hiss in pain. 

She caught him on the thigh, which almost caused him to keep over in agony sure that the bone had been fractured.

Around the circle the faces looked uncomfortable.

He snarled and rushed forward. They caught each other in a sharp exchange of blows that left his fingers on fire.

And then, it happened. He saw it in her eyes as a subtle narrowing, and before he knew what happened, she spun her spear around and cracked it against the side of his prosthetic knee. In the dead silence of the room, he heard something snap, and then the steel eye whirring grinded to a halt.

He was suddenly helpless tipping onto the floor and unable to rise.

WHen he lifted his head he saw only the spear pointed towards his face.

The room was silent.

He tried to get to his feet, but the prosthetic did not respond. He was left to sit on the floor under the point of her spear.

The narrowing of Sunny’s eyes faded and she looked down at his leg…. The leg she had modified for him in something close to shock.

“Adam I….”

He tried to move it again, but it only dragged like the limb of a useless doll.

The thought repulsed him, and he quickly unlatched the leg causing it to drop to the floor with a dull thud.

There was a mummering around the room as people hurried forward to help. Nairobi picked up the leg to examine it. Ramirez helped haul him to his feet. He bit back the sudden feeling of helplessness that came with a handicap he often forgot about, but looking, looking at the broken prosthetic in Narobi’s hands he became acutely aware of his own physical weakness.

Someone sat him down in a chair, while all the engineers gathered around the leg trying to determine what had caused the crack. Krill hurried over, giving him a look like thunder. Adam hadn’t even noticed he was bleeding until that moment.

Sunny knelt next to him, “Adam I-”

He held up a hand, “It’s ok, it was my fault. I got carried away.”

He didn’t let her continue.

It was thankfully, and almost mercifully at that moment when the Celzex showed up bringing the Tricar scientist with him. It took much of the focus off him and Sunny, and gave him time to spew some orders. He tried his best not to think about the fight, and his missing leg though limping along on the aluminum forearm crutches was hard to forget. With calm, patience and poise he dealt with their stowaway in good humor, allowed Krill to treat his head and check for a concussion, and then gave himself leave to retire to his room.

With the door shut, the turned to face the mirror across from his bed.

He wasn’t used to this picture of himself, less the admiral of the UNSC and more a veteran of the Drev war, with his missing leg, and the shitty aluminum crutches that had been military issued.

He hopped over to the edge of the bed and sat down, looking at the cold metal of the crutches, remembering the first time they had been given to him, on his return trip to earth. He didn’t really understand why he had kept them. 

Adam often forgot about this particular handicap. Or that of his missing eye, most of the time he thought of his new robotic parts as augmentations giving him advantages over other humans, but now he realized how dependent he was one them. When the lights were off and the augmentations were removed he was reminded of the past.

Sure there were times in his day where he remembered. The early morning before he put his leg on, and the fact that his on suite shower had a bench so he could sit, but those were minor things he could almost forget about. Looking down now, that didn’t seem possible.

There was a knock on his door.

He didn’t want to see anyone, but no. He could deal with this just as he had everything else.

“Come in,” He called 

He had not expected Sunny, sitting up in surprise as she walked in.

His first instinct was to throw the crutches to the side and cover his messed up leg, but he didn’t resist the urge and looked at her straight on. He leaned against the crutches, “I’m going to go ahead and apologize for earlier, I got carried away.”

“I think we both did.”

There was silence as she stood in the doorway.

He sighed. He knew what was coming, “Why don’t you sit down.” he patted the bed beside him, “or go grab that chair over there.”

She didn’t bother with the chair, instead, walking over to sit next to him. He adjusted himself as her weight sank the cushioning next to him. They both stared into the mirror across from them meeting eyes in the mirror.

“I’ll fix your leg. I just need a single part.”

“I didn’t doubt that someone would.”

She glanced over at him, “I’m sorry….. It was a…. Low blow.”

“I thought it was more good tactics honestly.”

“You don’t need to lie to me.”

There was another silence, as he looked inside himself for the truth. Granted that was part of it, but there was more. He wondered how honest he should be before deciding it was time to just say it. The worst that could happen was she would leave, and while that would kill him, it wouldn’t “kill” him.

He turned to look at her, “Yeah…. I suppose I don’t like being reduced to this.” He motioned down at himself, “but that's a personal issue, plenty of people handle it better than me. And I think I was honestly asking for it. You’ve been sainted in our time apart and I…. well I have done nothing of note, so I guess I was just trying to prove something to myself.”

She turned her head to look at him, and this time they made eye contact for real.

“Prove what to yourself.”

He gave her a brittle smile, “Prove that I could still match you in battle on the vein hope that one day I could repair what I did, but knowing I probably can’t.” 

She stared at him, her golden eyes unblinking.

He found himself continuing to talk, “And it's not just that of course. I admire what you went and did. I wish I could be more like you. I wish I knew what I wanted and I wish I could make myself better.”

She was silent for a long moment.

Before.

“You hurt me you know.”

He knew she wasn’t talking about the fight.

Adam wanted to look away again but didn’t , “I know I did.”

“But I also understand that humans are different from us. You often do things against your best interest to protect people. I believe that that is not the way, but, in the end, this is subjective.”

They waited quietly.

“Do you think…. I will ever be able to repair what I did.”

His heart hammered in his chest, but he took a few long, deep breaths.

He wasn’t sure what he expected. Maybe some cryptic answer like, I don’t know, or you’re just going to have to find out.

The kind of answer you’d expect from what popular media says about relationships.

Of course he should have known better. Sunny wasn’t like that.

She tilted her head to look at him, “Really, Adam?”

He felt as if his heart was sinking into the stub of his leg.

“I see.”

She rolled her eyes in a very human manner, “Not that you moron. You didn’t even do anything that bad, at least not in your culture. So YES of course you can fix it. Now I can’t exactly give you a timetable on that, but obviously I would be interested. You seem to have worked some things out, and from what I’ve heard about your escapades these last few months I’m not the only one who has been seeking higher knowledge.” 

She stood, “Anyway, I’m going to see if I can’t rig up something to hold you over until we can get parts at Europa.”

She ruffled his hair a little before turning and walking out the door.

He blinked in her wake.

Why did she always manage to throw him off balance?

And why had that been the most adult conversation he had ever had in his life?

He sighed and leaned back on his bed.

Ah yes 27 and he was finally becoming an adult.

How nice. 

[writtenonreceipts]

The fanfic no one asked for, not even me.  Based on characters from the Throne of Glass Series.

When Aelin and Elide have their car impounded by police, they turn to their boyfriends for help.  Modern AU.  Lorcan and Rowan are idiots together, bromance at its finest, I hope.

Boys Night Out

Despite the fact that he without a doubt loved his girlfriend and the fact that he would do anything for her—Rowan Whitethorn questioned her sanity more often than not.

“All I need is the cellphone charger,” Aelin assured him.  Her slim fingers straightened the collar of his shirt before slowly running down his chest.  A pert smile rested on her sinful mouth as she leaned into him.  “And when you get back, I promise to make it up to you.”

Rowan groaned tilting his head back when she pulled away.  She was going to be the death of him.

Humming to herself, Aelin flashed a dazzling smile as she delved deeper into the apartment she shared with her cousin.  Without saying anything else, she began putting away the dishes that he had washed just a few hours ago.  

“Aelin,” Rowan began, trying desperately to come up with excuses to get out her request.

“Charger, Whitethorn,” Aelin said.  She pointed a knife at him before sliding it into the wooden block holder beside the sink.

“And silver pumps!” Elide, Aelin’s cousin, sashayed into the kitchen from her room down the hall.  Her long, dark hair hung around her shoulders. She smiled pleasantly at Rowan. “I borrowed Manon’s shoes without her permission.  I need them back.”

Rowan looked between the two girls.  Between Aelin’s deft ability to throw a punch and sever a carotid artery and Elide’s charm and manipulation, Rowan knew he was cornered.

“I already called back up,” Elide said when Rowan hesitated.  She flashed a brilliant smile before winking at a cackling Aelin. “He’ll be here—”

A knock thudded against the front door of the apartment.  Without waiting for anyone to answer, the door swung open and Lorcan Salvaterre stood in the hall.  His ever-present scowl was carved deep into the sharp lines of his face, though his eyes softened when they landed on Elide.

“See,” Elide chirped glancing back to Rowan, “back-up.”

The two men glared at each other.  They’d been close friends, up until Rowan started seriously dating Aelin.  Since, they’d only seen brief spurts of each other. Thing improved, barely, when Lorcan and Elide began seeing each other.  Still, there was unresolved tension between the friends that Rowan had no idea how to fix.

“Great,” Rowan said.

#

“So, you’re saying that Aeilin’s car got impounded and she can’t live eight hours without her charger?” Lorcan asked as the two stalked around the outer fence of the Adarlan impound lot.

It was barely one o’clock in the morning making everything take on a dull stillness.  Gratefully there was an almost full moon over head making the yellow streetlights a little less eerie.  

“And Elide’s shoes,” Rowan added.  He stared at the chain-link fence topped with barbed wire.  “You think there are cameras?”

Lorcan grunted from beside him and hefted a large black bag from off his shoulder.  “I came prepared.”

Tying his black hair out of the way, Lorcan opened the bag and pulled out a sleek black weapon.

“You brought your paintball gun?” Rowan asked, quirking a brow. “Seriously?”

“Always be prepared,” Lorcan said.  He glanced over his shoulder at Rowan. “We were in boy scouts together, remember?”

“You hated boy scouts.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t pay attention.”

Rowan didn’t even want to know why Lorcan had a paintball gun ready and able in his car.  

Kneeling next to the fence, Lorcan readied the gun.  It was outfitted with a scope and everything.  This was a bad idea.  But Rowan had no room to protest as Lorcan took aim and shot out the camera perched on a tall post in the middle of the yard.  It was a direct hit.

“Scouts?” Rowan asked unable to help the grin.

“You try playing paintball with Elide,” Lorcan replied.  A ghost of a smile flashed across his mouth.  “Ruthless.”

As would be expected of the petite girl.  An old injury left her with a slight limp, but Elide never let that stop her.  And while Rowan hadn’t spoken with Lorcan much in the past few months, he knew that a girl like Elide was just what his friend needed in his life.  

“I’d say we have twenty minutes before security notices us,” Rowan said as Lorcan put the gun away. He put a hand on the fence and rattled it gently.  There was a padlock and chains keeping it in place, obviously, but Rowan wondered if there was a way to slip between the two fence parts.  

“You think there’s dogs?” Lorcan asked.  He peered through the fence only slightly wary.

“You’re not afraid are you Salvaterre?” Rowan mocked.

“Dogs don’t like me.”

“I thought I heard Elide say you were going to adopt one?”

“She,” Lorcan emphasized, “she is going to adopt one.”

Rowan snorted back a laugh and examined the fence again.  “I don’t hear anything.  You know Mayor Havilliard’s cut police funding, there’s no dogs.  Now start climbing.”

Lorcan cursed, but indeed began to climb.  It was only when the two men reached the top of the fence, face to face with the barbed wire that they paused.

“My jacket’s leather,” Lorcan said.  He glanced at Rowan.

“So, I’ll just sacrifice my shirt then?” Rowan looked down at his button up.  It had been a hot day and the night had contained that heat leaving it unnecessary for more than a long-sleeved shirt.

They examined the barbed wire.

“Oh hell,” Lorcan said. With surprising ease, he slipped out of his jacket and slung it over the barbed wire.  As he hefted himself as best he could over the top of the fence, he tried to remember why he’d agreed to this plan. “Because you love her, because you love her.”

“What?” Rowan hissed as Lorcan descended the other side of the fence.

“Reminding myself why the hell I’m here!” Lorcan snapped back.  He dropped down the last five feet, landing in a crouch. “Don’t rip my jacket.”

“You sound like Aelin talking about her nightgowns,” Rowan said.

“I did not need to hear that.”

Rowan barked out a laugh and pulled himself and Lorcan’s jacket over the fence.  He received no scratched himself, but there was no mistaking the soft rip of one of the sharp barbs on the jacket.  

Cursing thoroughly, Lorcan snatched the jacket from Rowan after he’d landed.  In the dim light of a few overhead lamps, he examined the rip at the left shoulder.

“Think of it this way,” Rowan said bumping into him lightly, “you can put some more of your boy scouting days to use.  Wasn’t there a sewing badge?”

“Shut-up,” Lorcan said. He yanked the jacket back on and stared mournfully at the rip.

Rowan didn’t wait.  He had a sinking feeling that they weren’t going to get out of this alive.  Well, alive yes.  But completely free?  Unlikely. Especially if Chaol was an on-duty cop tonight.  He was a good buy but had too much damn honor to let things go sometimes.

“Silver Lexus,” Rowan said. He looked over the lot and saw mostly beat up trucks or Toyota Corollas composed of ten different car parts.  Was this the impound lot or the junkyard? Hell, it was going to be a long night.

“Of course the bitch-queen has a Lexus,” Lorcan muttered.

Rowan was certain his friend hadn’t meant to say it so he could hear, but Rowan had hearing better than most.  He stooped over and grabbed a piece of plastic that had fallen off the bumper of the car next to him.  He tossed it at Lorcan.  The other man dodged the attack with ease and cast Rowan a vulgar gesture.

“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Rowan said.  He glowered in Lorcan’s direction.  Jaw setting, Lorcan shrugged and continued the search.

In all honesty, Rowan wasn’t certain what had transpired between the two.  But in all the time Lorcan and Aelin had known each other, which was nearing on two years, there was little diplomacy or kindness shared.

Lorcan turned away from Rowan so he couldn’t see his reaction, but something told him it involved eye rolling.

“She’s a good person,” Rowan called out as the search continued.  He glanced over to see Lorcan had launched himself onto the hood of a red corvette.  Given that Lorcan was practically a giant, the action seemed a bit overkill to Rowan. “If you’d give her the chance you might actually like her.”

He heard a dark chuckle echo across the distance between them, but no answer beyond that.

“Sure, be all broody, is that what Elide calls it?  Silent and broody.”  Rowan said. He mostly just wanted to get a rise out of Lorcan, see how far he could push his friend.  And of course, try and get to the bottom of the hostility that always seemed to be brewing. “Broody, broody, broody.”

“Whitethorn would ya shut-up?”

Rowan grinned and ducked down to peer through a car window, maybe he was missing something in the other row.  If this was some wild goose chase Aelin had constructed, Rowan was going to murder her. Even if it meant facing Elide. And Aedion.  And Lysandra.  He’d need to think the murder through.

The two searched in silence for another few minutes before Lorcan let out a sharp whistle.  “Over here.”

Rowan wove through the rows of cars until he reached Lorcan’s side.  They stared at the sleek Lexus where it nestled between a Ford and a conglomerate contraption of at least four different cars.  Aelin would have a fit if she could see her car now.

“Let’s get the stuff and get out,” Rowan said.  Thankfully, Aelin had given him the spare keys to the car.  As he unlocked the doors, Lorcan stiffened.

“Did you hear that?” Lorcan asked.  His eyes narrowed and he looked around the lot.  

Rowan threw open the driver side door and paused.  He glanced toward the old guard station, but it was black, looking distinctly empty. Whatever Lorcan had heard didn’t sound again.  Slumping into the car, Rowan poked around for Aelin’s charger.  The car, miraculously was kept clean.  A miracle considering how much chocolate cake Aelin ate on a regular basis and how often her snacking occurred in her car.  The lingering scent of her perfume wafted from the seats and despite how annoyed he was at this lucrative situation; Rowan made a note that he should buy Aelin both chocolate cake and another bottle of perfume.

He found the charger in the glove box.  “Found the charger.  I don’t see the shoes.”

Rowan straightened to see Lorcan was still examining every inch of the lot.  His brow furrowed in concentration.  Rowan was about to ask what was the matter when he heard the distinct howl of a dog.

“Crap,” Rowan said. He and Lorcan met gazes, neither moving. “Someone could be walking by?”

Lorcan shot him a withering look when the bark came again.  Louder and definitely closer.  “Oh hell,” Lorcan hissed.  The bark was joined by another dog.  “Oh hell, oh hell.”

“Lorcan get the damn shoes!” Rowan yelled already spinning away from the car.

Lorcan dove into the front door, half splayed over the front seat as he dug around the back of the car. He flung one sliver pump over his shoulder to where it settled on the front seat.  The other soon followed.  Wiggling and cursing, Lorcan dragged himself out of the car, shoes in hand.  He looked half-wild with his hair splayed over his face, dark eyes wide.

“Run you idiot!” Lorcan said.  He clutched the shoes to his chest and dashed past Rowan as the barking took up in earnest.

“I’m not wearing the right shoes for this.”  Rowan stuffed Aelin’s charger in his pocket and launched himself atop the closest car. His shoes, indeed were not conducive to jumping on top of cars and sprinting passed pissed off guard dogs. For some stupid reason he was still in his sleek office shoes that had no traction whatsoever.  This is what he got for getting a 401K and benefits.

“You’re worried about your shoes?” Lorcan yelled back.  He was already halfway back to the front fence intermittently jumping onto the hood of various cars and back down to avoid raging Cujo’s.

“You have your jacket, I have my shoes,” Rowan called.  

The dog leaping toward him was a Doberman with sharp ears and sharper teeth.  It snarled at him chomping its jaws wildly.  With dexterity he’d forgotten he had, Rowan launched himself over the hood of the car behind Aelin’s and over the top towards a beat-up truck that was massive enough it should prevent the dog from getting to close.

“Rowan, get your ass over here!” Lorcan bellowed.

Launching himself on top of the truck, Rowan ran over the tops of the row of cars toward Lorcan.  The dark-haired man was already out of his leather jacket and climbing the barbed fence. Despite his bulk, Lorcan could move damn fast if he wanted.

From somewhere behind Rowan the dogs gave chase.  He could hear the heavy breathing, the nails on pavement, the growls.  And then came the human shouts.

“Hey!  Adarlan Police!” The voice, thankfully didn’t sound like Chaol’s.  Though maybe Chaol would have been more pliable to let Rowan and Lorcan off with a warning.

In three long lunges, Rowan made it the final distance to the fence and began climbing.  Lorcan was already up and over the fence, the bag with the paintball gun slung on his shoulder.  

Rowan hauled himself unceremoniously over the top of the fence, grabbing Lorcan’s jacket in one fist and scrambling down the other side.  He dropped too high off the ground, but managed to stick the landing. He looked over his shoulder in time to see the Doberman launch at the fence, claws rattling against the metal and slobber flecking out from it’s mouth.

“Hell,” Rowan gasped.

Lorcan grabbed his arm and began pulling him down the side walk in a brisk walk that quickly turned into a run.  The two didn’t stop until they were as far from the impound lot they could get. Rowan’s car left forgotten along the street.  They’d been so desperate to get away and avoid any sort of detection that the car seemed to scream trouble.  

Nearly ten blocks later, after several pauses to curse Aelin for parking in an illegal zone, Rowan and Lorcan sagged against a the side of a building near a popular club.  Music pulsed around them as well as the thick stench of smoke, alcohol, and vomit.  

Lorcan spat before looking at Rowan. “So remind me, what is it about her you like so much?  Her wilds schemes that land her into trouble?  Or her wild schemes that land others into trouble?”

“You’re one to talk,” Rowan fired back.  He brushed his hair out of his eyes. “You and Elide are polar opposites.”

“She sends you out at two o’clock in the morning to get a phone charger,” Lorcan continued.

“You’re holding onto those shoes like they’re gonna save your life.”

“Have you met Manon?”

Rowan snorted and shook his head.  He paused as the bass from the club behind them rumbled.  Whatever he said wasn’t going to help Lorcan see Aelin in a different light.  But he could hope that it would mend whatever bridge had been broken between him and one of his oldest friends.

“Aelin makes me want to be a better person,” Rowan finally said.  He shrugged glancing Lorcan over.  “And I have a feeling the same could be said for Elide about you.”

Lorcan said nothing. He merely leaned his head against the brick behind them.

“Plus, I know I can do this,” Rowan added.  He pulled his phone from his pocket and made a phone call.  When the line connected, he grinned.  “Hey Fireheart.  We need a ride.”

[apoguecalledjj]

Fixation (Chapter 3)

Series summary: Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 3632

Chapter Warnings: Mentions drug use, addiction and abuse

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Ch. 2  Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

The first morning Ellie had woken up next to Rafe, it felt like she was in heaven. His arm draped lazily over her, shirtless in just his sweatpants that he had pulled on after their wild night. Her wearing just his t-shirt, gazing at him lazily as she blinked away the sleep that was still fighting to consume her.

This morning, it did not feel like heaven. Rafe was still asleep, his arms wrapped lightly around her from behind, her back pressed against his chest. It should have been perfect, Ellie had always craved physical affection and adored the feeling of being held.

But her head was pounding, and she still felt drowsy, no matter how hard to tried to wake herself up. Unlike last night, when she had felt alive, full of energy and alert, she now felt lazy. She had no desire to move, her body not feeling up for even getting out of bed. 

Yet, despite the way Ellie currently felt, which she knew without a doubt was caused by the cocaine, she still found herself longing for the way she had felt last night. The feeling that had pulsed through her was one she had no idea how to replicate without the substance. She wanted to feel it again. The previous night she hadn’t had a care in the world, letting loose with Rafe and having a better time than she had ever had at any party. She wanted to feel it again.

The desire for the drug pushed away the thoughts in her head, the ones scolding herself for even trying it in the first place. She mentally yelled at herself, a part of her knowing that this was the start of an addiction and she was going down the same path as her mom. But the desire pushed it away, instead convincing herself that everything would be fine and she knew what she was doing.

Rafe slowly awakened, his arms stretching slightly around her as he suppressed a yawn. “Good morning,” He mumbled, sleepiness evident in his voice.

“Morning.” Ellie rolled over so she was facing the boy, groaning slightly at the pain in her head. Rafe, without even having to ask what was wrong, leaned over and grabbed a bottle of painkillers from the nightstand, handing them to her with a smile. She swallowed them dry, not having the energy to go retrieve some water. 

They laid in bed silently for a while, Rafe quietly humming as he drifted in and out of light sleep, and Ellie scrolling through her social media on her phone. Eventually, the medicine kicked in and the pain in her head subdued.

“Do you wanna hang out with me and my friends today? We haven’t spent much time together out of this room,” Rafe teased, tearing Ellie away from the world of Instagram on her phone.

She nodded, eager to meet the boys that he talked about so frequently. Plus, even though she enjoyed the pogues, she knew her uncle would be ecstatic to hear of her hanging out with kooks. “Do you mind if I shower?” She asked, knowing she probably didn’t look or smell the greatest.

“Of course.” Rafe motioned towards his bathroom door. “You can shower in there, I’ll go to the guest bathroom.” He climbed out of bed and left the room, coming back shortly after with two bottles, shampoo and body wash. “This is Sarah’s, thought you’d rather smell like watermelons than my body wash.”

Ellie made her way to the shower, twisting the handle more towards the cold instead of the hot she normally tended to enjoy. Standing under the cold water helped to wake her body up, exactly what she needed after the way she had felt this morning.

She made her way back to the bedroom, Rafe already finished showering and waiting for her on the bed. She thought she had been quick, but obviously not.

“Ready?” He asked, tossing his phone down on the bed next to him. He moved towards the mirror, fiddling with his air even though it was already styled and slicked back.

Ellie nodded, grabbing her bag from where it had been discarded hastily last night by the door. She followed Rafe to his truck. “So what’re the plans for today?” She inquired once they were on the road, his windows rolled down slightly and the wind blowing through her hair.

He glanced at her briefly before looking back at the road. “We’re meeting up with Topper and Kelce, the two that were with me at the party. Probably just gonna spend the day at Kelce’s, but Top has a pool so we might go over there too.”

Ellie just hummed in response, she hadn't learned much about the two boys from their brief meeting the other night, but they seemed alright. Plus, it was nice to branch out, back in West Virginia she hadn't been close with many, and the opportunity for loads of friends in the Outer Banks was exciting.

The rest of the drive was mainly silent, Rafe and Ellie weren't the greatest at conversation, the little time they had spent together already had been filled with kisses and sex (and snorting coke, apparently), making them usually too busy for talking.

It was odd for Ellie, she was a talkative person and easily fell into conversation with everyone. But for some reason, silence with Rafe was almost more comforting, and she didn't mind it.

His right hand left it's place on the wheel, making its way to her thigh. The touch was unexpected, they had only known each other a couple of days and aside from their hookups, there hadn't been much else between them. Even so, Ellie didn't mind, she enjoyed the feeling of his palm on her bare thigh, just under the hem of her shorts, and she rested her hand on top of his.

Eventually, they pulled up to a house. She could see the two boys from the party sat in the front yard, Topper wearing sunglasses and leaned back in his lawn chair, Kelce sat forward with a glass in her hand. Rafe sounded the horn, causing Topper, who was back on to the driveway, to jump, and she giggled at his reaction. Rafe looked at her from the corner of his eye, watching her as she laughed.

He admired her, which was weird for him. He'd felt this way about a couple of girls before, but it didn't happen often, and it usually took longer than a couple of days. Watching her laugh, Rafe felt happy, something he didn't feel very often. He knew, at that moment that he would do whatever he could to not lose this girl.

They got out of the truck and made their way over to the two boys. After some introductions, even though the two boys and Ellie technically knew each other, the four teenagers easily fell into conversation. Ellie found herself laughing and smiling, listening closely every time Rafe spoke. She's never seen him so talkative, and she enjoyed it, listening to him joke and chat with his friends.

“Let’s go swimming,” Kelce suggested after about an hour of just sitting around, day drinking, and talking.

“Alright, let’s head to my house then,” Topper said, a mutual agreement between the boys that they were going swimming in the pool.

Ellie spoke up. “Actually, could we go to the beach? I’ve never been swimming in the ocean.”

The three boys were shocked at her confession. “Are you serious? You’ve never been swimming in the ocean?” Rafe repeated.

She shook her head. “Rafe, I hadn’t seen the ocean until I got on the ferry to come here.”

So the plans were quickly changed, and after the boys changed in the house, they began the short walk to the beach. Ellie didn’t have a bathing suit, but bra and underwear were basically the same thing anyway, and frankly, she didn’t give two shits.

The minute they hit the sand her shoes were kicked off, sand flying up behind her as she ran towards the water. She dipped her toes in slowly and let out a shriek. “It’s cold!”

She quickly peeled off her shirt and shorts, Rafe letting out a whistle as she stripped on the beach. She flipped him off behind her as she ran into the water, too excited to care. Sure, her thong didn’t leave much to the imagination, but it still covered more than some of her bikinis.

Ellie stood up to her waist in water, not wanting to go further until she was used to the temperature. But she didn’t hear Rafe sneaking up behind her until his arms wrapped around her.

“Rafe!” She squealed as he picked her up. He reached down to squeeze her butt quickly before beginning to rock her, threatening to throw her in. “Rafe no!”

The last thing she saw was the smirk on his face, Kelce and Topper laughing behind him as her body hit the water. The cold shocked her, but it also felt nice, and she fought to open her eyes, wanting to see the ocean floor. 

Ellie submerged, shooting a playful glare at Rafe. She quickly splashed him, but that resulted in Kelce getting splashed too as he was now standing by Rafe. “Hey!” He yelled, not hesitating to splash her back.

Ellie liked Kelce. He was nice, and she got along well with him. They had immediately clicked, and she could see herself becoming close friends with him.

The three boys continued to flick water towards her. “Hey! This isn’t fair, it’s three against one!” Suddenly an idea popped in her head and she dove under the water, swimming so that she was behind Kelce. She jumped on his back, pumping her fist in the air. “AHA! Can’t get me without getting Kelce!”

But her plan had failed because Topper and Rafe didn’t care about Kelce. The battle was now two against one, Kelce cursing her as she jumped back into the water to help him. She stuck out her tongue playful, having more fun than she had in a while.

Ellie was too distracted to notice four figures walking along the beach. Pope stopped and shielded his eyes, looking out towards the water. “Hey, isn’t that Ellie?”

The other three pogues stopped to look. She was now sat on Rafe’s shoulders, the three ganged up against Kelce. “Yup,” Kie said.

JJ turned and started to walk away, huffing as his hands balled into fists. “Whatever guys. Come on. She obviously enjoys the kooks more.”

John B jogged to keep up with the angry blond. “Woah, bro calm down. Just cause we hate the kooks don’t mean she has to. She looks like she’s having a good time. Be happy that she’s fitting in well here.”

“Yeah, having a great time with them half-fucking-naked,” JJ mumbled, still walking quickly away. The first thing he had noticed was that instead of a bathing suit, she was in a lacy bra and thong set.

“JJ. Chill,” John B said, still trying to calm him down. Kiara and Pope had caught up at this point, the three pogues glancing between each other at JJ’s weird reaction.

“She’s with fucking kooks, John B! They’ll make her never want to hang out with us again.”

“JJ, do you have a crush?” Kiara teased gently.

“Shut up.” Was the only response she got.

~~~

The next day, after a long shift at The Wreck, Ellie decided to text JJ. It was a beautiful day, and she decided she wanted to go surfing if JJ was willing to teach her.

JJ quickly responded, agreeing to meet her at the beach in an hour. He was still upset after seeing her with the kooks, but he knew that he had no right to be mad and he wasn’t going to turn down a chance to be alone with Ellie.

Ellie rushed home, showering and changing before grabbing a board that her aunt assured her she could borrow. She was a bit nervous to surf for the first time, but she was also excited to see JJ for the first time in a couple of days.

Once she got to the beach, JJ was already there, lying down on his board. “Hey JJ!” She called, trying to run down to meet him but struggling because of the board under her arm.

He sat up and turned to face her. “Hey, El.”

Ellie finally reached him and sat down. “El? That’s a new nickname. No one calls me that.”

JJ smiled at her. “Guess it’ll be just for me to use then.”

Ellie smiled, her cheeks turning slightly pink, though she wasn’t sure why. JJ noticed, and the smirk on his face grew. “Come on El, let’s get started.”

Ellie nodded, standing up to pull off her shirt and shorts to reveal her red bikini. JJ couldn’t help but stare, the girl looked like a goddess. He had seen many girls, wearing much less than a bikini, but none of them had caused the reaction that Ellie did.

The deep red of her bathing suit complemented her skin perfectly. Usually, with girls, JJ wouldn’t spend too much time examining their bodies, but Ellie was different. He couldn’t stop looking at her, taking in all her perfections and imperfections. He noted how smooth her skin looked, how much he wanted to hold her. He eyed the slight stretch marks on her hips, wanting nothing than to rub his fingers gently over them and kiss them. Ellie was doing things to JJ, things he had never felt before.

“Enjoying the view?” Ellie giggled as she noticed the boy staring, striking a couple of dramatic poses causing him to laugh. One of the things Ellie was most proud of was her confidence, she loved her body and loved to flaunt it. It had taken her a long time to get to that place of self-love, so why shouldn’t she show it off?

“Obviously,” JJ smirked, knocked out of his deep thoughts about how beautiful Ellie was, and instead back to his usual, sarcastic self. “Ready to get started?”

They started on the sand, JJ teaching Ellie how to properly sit and stand on her board. Every time he would put his hands on her waist to help her or adjust her, her whole body would feel warm and she wasn’t entirely sure why. The only thing she knew for sure was that she enjoyed the feeling of JJ’s hands on her.

“Okay, I think we should go in the water.” Ellie nodded in agreement and JJ continued, “Let’s just get you used to paddling first. Then in a bit, we can try some waves. If you fall, don’t get discouraged, it takes a while to master surfing.”

JJ was surprised. After just a few falls, Ellie was surfing... And doing a damn good job at it for it being her first time. He watched as she rode the wave, her bottom lip gently held between her teeth as she concentrated on keeping her balance. She almost made it to the shore, tumbling at the end. She shot up and rushed towards JJ, a huge smile on her face.

“I did it! I did it, JJ! You’re the best teacher!”

He shook his head, amazed at the fact that she had caught on so quickly. “Holy shit, El. I’ve never seen someone do that good their first time.” He paused, contemplating whether or not to continue. “It took me a week to just stand up on the board without falling.” He knew Ellie was about to tease him, so he quickly added on, “I was six, by the way.”

Ellie sat on her board next to him, the two just letting their boards drift in the water. “I skateboard,” She told him. “Once I stood up on the board I realized it was pretty similar. I guess the skills transfer.”

“You any good at skateboarding?”

“Pro.” Ellie grinned. She had never got much time to skateboard back home, always too busy with her sister and schoolwork. But the time she did get, she cherished, and she hoped to have a lot more time at the hobby in the Outer Banks.

They laughed and joked for a bit, Ellie chuckling at all of JJ’s attempts to flirt. In reality, though, she enjoyed it, he knew what he was doing and even made her blush a few times.

“So have you ever had a boyfriend?” JJ asked, deciding to change the topic to learn more about the girl he hardly knew.

Ellie slowly shook her head. “No. Never had the time. More of a hookup kind of girl.”

JJ whooped and held up his hand for a high five. “Ay, me too!”

She giggled as JJ continued the interrogation. “Why didn’t you have the time? Are you super into school?”

Ellie sighed, knowing the conversation would eventually turn this way. “No, I did my homework but I didn’t spend much time at it. I just had to take care of my sister, my mom-” Ellie trailed off, staring anywhere but at JJ. “My mom couldn’t-She couldn’t-” But Ellie couldn’t get the words out. Her mom's addiction was the one thing in her life she struggled to talk about. It was also the one thing she didn’t want to follow her to the Outer Banks, but she found herself not wanting to keep the secret from JJ.

JJ noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks and moved closer to her. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to continue.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, careful not to knock her off her board.

“My mom’s a drug addict.” She finally blurted out, the tears coming much quicker now. “It runs in my family. My grandfather was an addict too. She just... My mom gave up on me. All she cares about is the fucking drugs and she basically abandoned me and my sister. Even though she never left the fucking house. The house that I had to try and pay for.” The words just started coming and she couldn’t get them to stop. She had never told all of this to someone, even though people knew, they never knew her true feelings.

She wasn’t sure why she decided to spill to JJ, but he was listening, and she felt like he cared. “I want to hate her, JJ. I want to hate her so bad. But I can’t, cause I love her. She’s my mom. And I’m scared. I don’t want to end up on the same path.” The reminder of the cocaine she had done popped in her brain but she pushed it away, not wanting to think about the mistake she made.

JJ didn’t move from where he was holding her, instead tightening his grip slightly. He thought about Rafe, wanted to warn her that he was also a drug addict and that she should stay away from him before something bad happened, but he decided against it. That wasn’t what she needed to hear right now, he’d tell her later.

“El I’m so sorry.” She didn’t respond, just sobbed slightly. “My dad’s an alcoholic,” He continued, and Ellie turned to face him, eyes wide with tears as she realized he was opening up to her as well. “When he gets drunk, he gets violent. He hits me.” JJ motioned to the various bruises littered around his torso. “Everyone thinks these are from fights with kooks, but they’re not. All from my piece of shit dad.

“He blames me for my mom leaving. She broke him when she left, and instead of accepting that he fucked up, he’d rather blame it on me. And I want to hate him, I know how you feel. But I can’t. Cause I love him.” He repeated her words, blinking away tears.

“I don’t want to end up like him,” He sobbed out. “But I’m already so violent. I get in fights all the time. What if I end up like him, El?”

“You won’t.” She whispered trying to comfort him.

He glanced up at her. “And you won’t end up like your mom, either.”

She knew that was wrong. She was already on her way. But she didn’t say anything, and instead, they sat in silence. Neither of them knew how long they stayed there, just floating in the water, but it felt nice. JJ’s arm had moved from her shoulder and was now holding her hand. Ellie had a huge weight lifted off of her. she finally told someone what she’d been wanting to say for years, and for once she could relax.

It was JJ who spoke first. “We should head in.” The two made their way back to the beach. Ellie put the board down, drying herself off before pulling her clothes back on.

“I’m heading to the chateau to hang with the others. Wanna come?” JJ offered.

She smiled. “Yeah, I would like that. But JJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you not tell them what I just told you?”

“Of course El.” JJ picked up his board and then moved to pick up hers before she could. He started the walk up the beach, motioning with his head for her to follow. She watched him for a minute as he walked away before following him.

She wouldn’t admit it to herself, but she had a much better time with JJ than with Rafe. If her head wasn’t clouded with the thoughts of coke and the fact that Rafe was the one who had it, she might have even said she was falling for JJ.

And little did she know, JJ was falling for her too.

Taglist: @prejudic3 @margaritatimebaybee

Let me know if you want to me added to the taglist!!

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

part iii

Remus didn’t always have too much time for it, but there was nothing he liked more than sitting on the bench and watching Gryffindor City’s Hogwarts Stadium fill up with red and gold. The waves of chatter got louder and the seats filled, and it was a nice balance to the energy in the locker room as he walked back down the tunnel and through the doors, leaning against the wall with Moody. There, in case they were needed, but out of the way.

Even more than watching the fans, he liked watching the boys get ready. Kasey was down on all fours in a butterfly squat, full-pads making his body look huge and his head look tiny. Leo was down the hall some, throwing two balls against the wall and catching them quickly. Remus’ eyes blurred after watching for a minute and he looked away. Which turned out to be a mistake in itself.

Sirius was sitting in his stall, shirtless and knees spread to accommodate the stick he was taping between them. He didn’t have any of his pads on yet, typical Sirius, who always had to get ready at the last minute because he spent so much time on his stretches and sticks. He was just in his underarmour, the tight material leaving absolutely nothing to imagination. He had a Lions’ hat on backwards and stray strands of hair were sticking out of the front, casting shadows on his cheeks. He stuck his tongue out and wound the tape carefully around the blade of his stick, checking for wrinkles and creases every other turn. James was saying something to him with broad hand gestures, probably a play he wanted to get perfect tonight.

They all wanted to get everything perfect tonight. It was the home opener. The crowd would be wild, and the pressure would be on. Remus loved every second of it and he knew the boys did, too.

James let out a loud whoop then, clapping his hands together and and throwing his helmet on even though his pads were still hanging in his stall. “Let’s fucking go, tonight, eh boys? Durmstrang fuckers won’t know what hit them.”

He was met with a series answering shouts of approval, all of which amplified when Coach Weasley appeared through the locker room doors with the large lion on it. He grinned and held up a little slip of paper, tonight’s line up.

“Pots, since you’re already standing, why don’t you do the honors?” Arthur said, handing James the paper.

James hit his helmet on his head. “Alright, let’s see. Starting tonight,” the boys yelled and James dropped down a little, knees bent and voice low like the commentators, “in the cage,” there was another round of shouts and James wound up his arm and then bounded over to Kasey, “we have the man named for the sport of hockey itself, Kasey Winter.”

There were a series of “Yeah, Kase!” and “Be the fucking blizzard!” before James could continue.

“Next we have…on your left, Harzy!”

Harzy looked up from where he was lacing his skates with a little salute to the cheers.

“On your right,” James smiled around at them all, so wide that Remus could see where one of his outer bottom teeth was still missing, just out of sight. He pressed a hand to his own chest, “yours truly.”

“Alright, Potty-mouth!” Kasey shouted the nickname James had earned himself for his relentless chirping on the ice, name-calling and poking fun until the refs eventually had to call him on it.

“Your favorite D-man pairing, Kaner and our resident Finland-man, Olli!”

Timmy Kane and Olli Halla did some strange, complicated handshake.

“And your center tonight…the man, the myth, the one who holds the record for most marriage proposals by teenage girls at the glass,” Remus laughed at that and James ran back over to Sirius, pretending to take his stick just to see him flinch back, and taking his hat instead and placing it on top of his own helmet, “oh captain, my captain, Sirius mother-fucking Black!”

Everyone clapped a little, Arthur shaking his head fondly and Moody letting James run over and touch his leg for good luck, per tradition, and then it was really business time. There was some calmer chatter as everyone got into their gear and laced up, getting into the right headspace for a game.

Remus rifled through his own inventory in his head, making sure he would be prepared on the bench. He had extra blades for everyone, laces, sterile gauze, and a little box for teeth which he’d learned to keep the hard way (Olli Halla spitting a few directly into his open palm). He took one last look around the locker room before heading back to the mouth of the tunnel at the bench where the guys would pass on their way out for their lap-around introductions under the lights and warm ups. He could see some of the Durmstrang equipment guys over on their bench, and they exchanged nods that were friendly enough. Eagles games were always odd, not just for the competition—they had nothing compared to Lion and Snake games—but because their colors were nearly identical, and so the away-team always had to wear their more solid colored third-jerseys. Remus was glad they were on home-ice, so the Eagles would be the ones stuck in their nearly all goldish-yellow uniform, not the Lions.

Remus looked up at the stands, figuring his parents were out there somewhere, trying to keep Julian at bay, who was no doubt in his BLACK jersey and bouncing out of his shoes with excitement. At nine years old, Remus sometimes wondered if his little brother was a bigger Lions fan than even him, despite living halfway across the country from them.

He had a sudden fantasy of bringing Jules back to the locker room and Sirius being there, maybe James, too, and Sirius would give Jules a hockey stick maybe, and then smile at Remus—

“What’s with the face?”

Remus started, looking at Moody who had brought out the fresh bottles of gatorade and water.

“What? What face? Nothing.” Remus reached forward and started to help him line the bench with them. “I wasn’t making a face.”

“Alright, at ease.” Moody laughed a little. “Jeez, Lupin.”

Remus desperately tried to change the subject, “How’s the lucky leg?”

Moody scoffed, giving it a stomp. “It’s been kissed by Harzy, that’s what. Fucking crazy-ass.”

Remus laughed and sat down on the bench, looking up towards the jumbo-screen where they were showing a video of a few of the guys saying what they did that summer. James was on, giving a typically sarcastic answer. Something about hamburgers. When Sirius’ faces came on next there was a positive roar from the crowd and Remus felt flushed with their enthusiasm. Gryffindor loved their Captain, and they were just as eager to avenge him as the team was. It was pretty fucking thrilling to sit and watch it all, but if he could, Remus would be out there on the ice, fighting to get Sirius ever goal and point he could. He pushed that thought down just as the lights shut off and the music stopped, signaling the beginning of the Lions’ entry onto the ice, their first of the season. Remus’ heart pounded.

“Gryffindor!” boomed Frank Longbottom’s voice, one of their beloved announcer. Frank came with the team on the road, along with Marlene McKinnon. Butts and Kinzy were well loved by the team, and, maybe unfortunately for them, the subjects of many pranks, but Remus was sure they loved the boys’ attention as much as he himself did. The crowed boomed back in response and then the jumbo-screen bloomed to life, along with the lights and the lasers that streaked across the crowd and ice.

“Are you ready?” Frank asked the stadium, and then the jumbo-screen started counting down from ten with loud booms that quickly developed into a bass-heavy song.

“Ten…nine…” Remus found himself smiling, mumbling the numbers under his breath.

“Your Gryffindor Lions!” Frank drew out the words and the lights went crazy as the boys appeared down the tunnel.

Kasey came first, goalie mask propped on top of his head as he skated out onto the ice. Then Timmy, Finn, Leo…Olli, Brady, Evgeni, Kris, Tyler…

They all looped around the rink, warming up and pounding on the glass, laughing when the crowd pounded back. Remus liked watching the rookies the most, their eyes alight with the attention and praise.

And finally James, always second to last, and then Sirius, always last. Remus watched him come all the way down the tunnel, just in time for his name to be read out by Frank. Sirius raised his glove and knocked it into a few of the kid’s fists who had made it down by the glass, before scampering back up to their parents, delighted with having received a fist-bump.

Remus didn’t expect Sirius to look back at him, but for the split second between him being beside the bench and him being on the ice, their eyes met. And Sirius dropped a wink. And he was gliding away, dropping to one knee as he went and raising his stick a little, drawing screams from the crowd. They were happy to have him back. Sirius was cocky, and Remus didn’t like to admit that he loved that, but he did.

Sirius belonged on the ice, that much had always been clear, and when he wasn’t there, something was out of gear. Everything felt settled now, ready.

The lights came up after a bit and then Eagles filtered on, too, taking shots at their goalie. Victor Krum crossed center ice and met Sirius where he was talking to James, offering a somewhat stiff hand. Sirius smiled, so Remus guessed he had welcomed him back. The Eagles were good like the Snakes, but they weren’t assholes like they were. Remus watched Sirius pluck at Krum’s shoulder, no doubt chirping him for the bright yellow color, and Krum laughed, nudging him back and skating away.

Kasey was busy nesting his goal, scraping up the crease with his long goalie skate blades and catching the boys’ practice shots. Remus watched him for a minute, always enjoying how specific and protective Kasey was of his goal (he patted his posts whenever a puck got knocked askew by one, for god’s sake), but soon his attention was—predictably—dragged away by Sirius. Sirius had a routine, a strict routine, and there was few things Remus loved more than watching him go through it. Remus wasn’t sure he even knew about all of it, but he wanted to. He knew Sirius had to tape his own sticks, do specific stretches in a specific order, had to put his left skate on first, and during warm-ups he had to trace the Lions logo with a puck. He knew Sirius liked to have two pieces of toast with butter and honey an hour before games. Remus wished he knew more, secretly. He wanted to know how long Sirius’ pre-game nap was and what he looked like when he woke up from it—

“Earth to Remus Lupin.”

Remus’ slowly spiraling fantasy was abruptly cut off by James waving a glove in his face.

“What?” Remus stood up. “Sorry, what’s up, what do you need? James, face-off’s in like two seconds, you’re on first shift.”

“I just want some gatorade and it’s all red.” James practically pouted.

Remus huffed out a laugh and handed him a blue, shifting to the side as the other team members shuffled down the bench, coach Weasley slapping a few of them on the back. “There, now go!”

James whooped and skated off to take his position. Sirius was at center ice, eye to eye with Krum, the ref between them with the puck. They crouched, eyes on the puck, and Remus said a soft prayer to whatever god anyone could believe in.

The ref dropped the puck, and the game began.

Remus was on his feet the entire time. He was meant to be watching for any trip-ups, any hard hits, anything that might need to be looked at. Instead, he kept catching himself just enjoying the game, standing behind the bench. Sirius came careening over the boards, tapping Brady’s butt as he jumped onto the ice to replace him, and sat down heavily in front of Remus. He turned, sweat dripping down his temples.

“iPad,” he said, and one of the assistant coaches held it out to him. Sirius stayed turned, brow intense as he watched a replay of his latest shift, and so Remus got to study his profile. He loved Sirius in the heat of a game, loved how fast he talked. He leaned over to explain something to Olli, who leaned in like if he didn’t catch every word, he’d parish. Everyone on the team tended to listen to Sirius like that, like he was their leader through thick and thin.

“How’m I doing?” Sirius said as he handed the iPad back. Remus assumed he was talking to the coaches until Sirius’ eyes fell on him.

“Me?” Remus asked—stupidly.

Sirius smiled, “You.”

“You look great out there. You know you look great out there.”

James laughed, whacking Remus lightly in the stomach with his glove. “Way to call him on it, Loops.” Then the whole bench leaned back as Brady shoved an Eagles player nearly over the boards and into the bench. The crowd loved it, and James banged his stick on the boards after them. “Way to go, Shady-Brady!”

They were gone shortly after that, Coach calling for short shifts for the end of the first period.

“Keep ‘em coming boys, keep this lead!” he was shouting.

The Lions were up 3-1, and the atmosphere was electric. Remus loved this. It was the closest thing to being on top of the world there was, he thought. Suddenly, Sirius was on a breakaway up the ice off of a clean pass from Harzy. He skirted around number 16, number 3, with hard edges, and then he was nearly at the net—

Krum came out of nowhere, slamming Sirius into the boards.

Remus was on his feet in a second, pressing up behind Tyler and Evgeni on the bench.

It was a clean hit, but it felt like ages before Sirius got up. Remus didn’t even watch Krum take the puck, didn’t watch Kasey miss it, didn’t watch their goal-horn light up, didn’t watch the scoreboard change to read 3-2. He didn’t watch the Eagles celebrate.

He watched Sirius skate towards the bench. It was just for a shift change, but Remus looked over every part of him, checking for a limp, a wince, anything. He looked okay. James was on him in a second, skating shoulder to shoulder and talking to him. Sirius was nodded, even smiling a little, but Remus could tell he was shaken. To have something like that happen in the first game, and when he’d just gotten back…

The stadium filled with booing that felt like it shook the walls.

Sirius took his seat on the bench, but before Remus could get through his teammates and to him, the buzzer signaling the end of the first period was sounding and everyone was filing off the ice and back into the locker room. Good, Remus thought. He’d ask to see Sirius, he’d check him out fully, just to be safe.

Marlene was waiting for Coach at the end of the tunnel.

“Hey Arthur, who can we have for media?” she asked.

“Not Black,” Remus stepped in, “I want to check that hit.”

Coach nodded, “right. You can have Pots, or Kasey, I think.”

Marlene nodded and shot Remus a smile, which he returned tightly as he pushed between them and into the locker room. Sirius looked up at him almost immediately, like he had been waiting.

Remus only had to jerk his head towards the quiet and training rooms, before Sirius was getting up and following him. Remus held the door open to the quiet room. It was technically for concussion testing and protocol, and Remus hadn’t seen Sirius hit his head, but better safe than sorry. Sirius stepped inside and Remus closed the door.

“How do you feel?” Remus asked, then pointed to the padded observation table. “Sit there. I’m going to check your ankle and your head.”

“Loops—”

“Does anything else hurt?”

“Remus.”

Remus looked up.

Sirius loomed over him anyway, but he practically towered over him while wearing skates. Remus nearly had to crane his neck.

“What?” Remus asked, a little breathlessly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t a bad hit.”

“I know. But given your recent history I want to make sure everything’s fine.”

Sirius sat down on the bench and took his helmet off, laying it to the side along with his gloves while Remus bent to start unlacing his skates. Remus’ heart was still pounding, and Sirius’ gray desperate eyes filled his head. He wouldn’t be helpless this time. He’d fixed Sirius’ broken bone, and he wouldn’t let anything go amiss, not now.

“Durmstrang’s always a tough one to call, eh? Sometimes they’re brilliant and sometimes they’re…”

“Angry?” Remus supplied, carefully sliding Sirius’ skates off of his feet before rising.

Sirius laughed a little, “Yeah. For sure, yeah.”

“Look here.” Remus held up a small flashlight and a finger. Sirius looked, but right at Remus, not his finger. A small smile was still lingering on his face. “My finger, Black.”

Sirius laughed again but obeyed this time.

“When’s your birthday?”

“November third.” Sirius supplied easily.

“When is Pots’ birthday?”

“March twenty-seventh. When’s your birthday, Re?”

Remus chest fluttered a little. He clicked off the flashlight, satisfied. “March tenth.”

“Hey, you and James are birthday-buddies.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Raise your arms. Touch your—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Sirius obediently brought his fingers to his nose and back out again a few times, then, without prompt, got up and walked in a straight line, toe to heel, and turned and looked at Remus expectantly.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. “And your ankle? Tell me the truth.”

“Fine.” Sirius smiled and sat down in one of the chairs in the room to start getting his skates back on. “Really, Loops, I’m alright. It probably looked worse than it was.”

“It took you a bit to get up.”

Sirius shrugged down at his laces, digging his heel in to pull them tight, “I’ll admit, I was a little surprised. It’s the first real time I got hit since…you know. Since Snape. But you said it yourself,” He looked up at Remus then, sweat damp hair falling into his eyes a little, cheeks flushed, “can’t let the fear get to me, can I?”

Remus swallowed dryly. “Right. Yeah.” He watched Sirius until he was standing again and pulling his gloves back on, tucking his helmet beneath his arm. “Right, right. Sorry.” He opened the door, “Have a good second period, okay?”

Sirius paused beside him in the doorway, tall as ever with his skates back on and looking down at Remus. “Hey.”

Remus looked up at him. Sirius had a funny expression on his face, something soft and determined.

“Don’t ever say sorry for helping me,” Sirius’ voice was low when he said the words.

Remus caught one last glimpse of the odd expression, and then Sirius was gone, enveloped back into the energetic mass of the team.

They won 5-3, Sirius with three points, two goals and one assist, in the second and third period.

The locker room was ecstatic afterwards, and Remus was kneeling to tape up Kasey’s thigh for him when Arthur came out with the lion head. The lion head was this seasons team token, of sorts, an object that got past around the locker room after every game, depending on who played best that night. For the first game of the season, Coach was the one who handed it out. After that it would go from player to player. This year, the object looked like an overly-furry lion-mane and nose, maybe from some poor, cotton stuffed animal, sewed onto a baseball cap. Remus grimaced just looking at it. He didn’t want to think about how sweaty and disgusting that thing was going to become by the end of the season.

“Great game, boys. Great start to the beginning of the season.” There were some cheering and Arthur smiled, waving his hand, “As you know, it is my pride and joy making our season tokens.”

“What section of the wall is last year’s going on?” James said, making everyone laugh. Arthur’s creation last year had been a monstrous blend between a gladiator helmet that had a yarn lion tale glued to the back of it.

“Front and center, thanks for asking.” Coach said. “This year, we have…”

Kasey started a drumroll which the entire locker room eventually joined in on.

“Lion-cap. Gorgeous, isn’t he?” Arthur held it up. “And tonight…I’ve got to give it to the captain, don’t I?”

“Yeah you do!” James pounded the wall of his stall with his fist.

“Quite a hit, and beauties of goals. Sirius.”

Sirius laughed as he walked forward, just his underarmour on again, and put the hat on, crouching into a ridiculous pose so that James could take a picture. He looked hilarious in it, the mane fluffing out around his ears and the nose resting on the brim.

“Thanks, Coach.” He said, and then handed it off to Remus for safe keeping, per tradition. Remus was always put in charge of bring the token on roadies, and keeping track of who got it when.

Remus felt his phone buzz in his pocket and was pulled abruptly from the bubble of the team when he saw his mom’s name flash up. He slapped a hand to Kasey’s shoulder, telling him he was done, and slipped out of the locker room to answer.

“Hey, mum.”

“Hi, baby. Great game!”

“It was,” Remus smiled. “I’ll be right out to get you guys and we can get ice cream or something. I just have to—”

“Remus?”

Remus pressed the phone to his shoulder, turning on his heel back to the locker room. Sirius was standing there, head poking out and smiling a smile that looked almost—shy.

“Yeah? Hold on, mum—Sorry, can I help?”

“Bring them back,” Sirius said.

“Huh?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Your family. Bring them back, show them the locker room and stuff.”

“Oh.” Remus’ heart beat. He would love that. Julian would freak out. “Oh, I don’t want—”

“C’mon, the boys would love it. We can sign a jersey and stuff, or a stick.”

Remus’ mouth hung open for a minute before he heard himself say, “okay,” and Sirius grinned before retreating. Remus didn’t move until he heard his mom’s voice in his ear. He blinked a few times and raised his phone back up. “Hey, mum, do you want to…would you guys want to come back to the locker room?”

And so here Remus was, his parents and Jules in toe, walking down the all too familiar hallway.

Julian bounced up beside Remus, both hands around his arm. “Are we going to meet Sirius?”

Remus smiled, “probably.”

“Are we going to meet Pots?”

“Yep, him too.”

“Blizzard?”

Remus laughed, “I think you could meet Kasey, sure.”

“Can I take a picture with them?”

“If you say please,” Remus said, because it was definitely what his mom would say. Once they reach the locker room doors, he looked back at his parents. Both were wearing BLACK jerseys, which Remus found unbearably endearing and also slightly embarrassing now that Sirius knew how Remus felt about him as a hockey player. There was no doubt he was going to think Remus had had sway over his parents’ jersey choice. His dad was clutching his phone excitedly to his chest, and Remus couldn’t think why he hadn’t asked to do this sooner. He was glad Sirius had said something, and he’d make sure to tell him thank you later.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Ready, ready, open the doors!” Julian whisper-yelled.

The sound wave once Remus did hit them like a wall, and Remus heard Jules quiet down a little, maybe with nerves as the reality that this was actually happening set in, and Remus turned around to put a comforting hand on his back. He could see that the media was just leaving out the press door, which Remus was thankful for because it meant that none of the players would be surrounded by cameras. He didn’t want this to look like a photo-op.

He made eye contact with Sirius almost immediately, and tried to smile in a way that didn’t look like he expected Sirius to come over or anything. Sirius had a routine, and that included winding down. He looked like he was about to leave for his twenty minute cool down on one of the stationary bikes, and Remus didn’t want to interrupt that. But then Sirius was grinning and motioning them over.

“Oh.” Julian said softly from beside Remus, and Remus patted his head softly and motioned for his parents to follow him over to Sirius’ stall.

Sirius stood when they got there, grinning warmly.

“Who’s this?” Sirius asked, holding his fist out for a dumbstruck Julian to bump.

“These are my parents, Hope and Lyall, and this is Julian, my brother.” Remus said, smiling a little at Jules’ expression. His heart was pounding. “Say hi, Jules.”

“Hi Padfoot. I mean—” Julian flushed.

Sirius laughed. “You can call me Padfoot if I can call you Jules. You play hockey, bud?”

Julian nodded frantically, “yeah, I’m a center, too.”

“Nice.” Sirius raised his eyes briefly to Remus’ parents and held out his hand for them to shake, “Hi, I’m Sirius.” As if they didn’t know, as if they weren’t wearing his last name on their backs, “Did you all enjoy the game?”

“That was such a nasty hit on you.” Julian said, eyes going from Sirius’ face to his locker to his pads to his stick.

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, we hope you’re alright.” Hope said with a very motherly disapproving frown.

Sirius nodded and, to Remus’ surprise, threw an arm around Remus’ shoulder. “Your son took care of me. Remus takes the best care of us, right James?”

James had come over with a protein bar hanging out of his mouth, but took a bite and chewed quickly when he put together who he was speaking to.

“Jesus f—” He looked at Julian whose eyes were practically hearts. “Hi,” James said again, laughing a little at himself, “you must be Loops’ parents.” James looked down at Julian again, “And older brother, I presume? What’s up, man? Here to try out?”

“Yeah.” Julian said softly, clearly barely able to think, and they all laughed.

Remus, on the other hand, was much to pre-occupied with Sirius’ arm which, having slid away from his shoulders, was now briefly a warm, pressing weight between his shoulder blades, before it disappeared completely as he slapped the seat of his stall.

“Well I’m certainly not going to have a spot on this team if you’re playing, so you might as well take a seat. Let’s see, what will he need to be a Lion, Pots?”

James crossed his arms, pretending to think hard. “Jersey, definitely.”

“Oh, two, I’d say.” Sirius added, “And a couple sticks, don’t you think?”

Julian, now seated snuggly in Sirius’ stall, was red-cheeked with happiness.

“On it.” James said, and winked at Remus as he left to get a few of his and Sirius’ jerseys and sticks to sign.

Sirius on the other hand, crouched down to Julian’s level. “Hey, Jules, do you know how awesome your brother is?”

Julian grinned up at Remus, then back at Sirius. “Yeah.”

Sirius nodded back, “He does practically everything for us. Gets us new skate blades, makes sure we have what we need on the road, keeps us healthy.” Then Sirius looked at him with a similarly fond and happy expression that Julian was wearing, and Remus felt a little like he might cry which would be completely and utterly embarrassing. “He’s pretty great.”

Remus felt his own cheeks flush. “Okay, okay, thanks.”

Hope laughed from beside him, squeezing him in a one armed hug. “Never could take a compliment, could you, Re?”

“That was a lot of compliments.” Remus laughed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t stop looking at Sirius and Sirius wasn’t looking away.

Remus felt like he was back in Sirius’ car, unsure what it all meant.

“Hey, did you know I’m your brother’s favorite player?” Sirius asked Jules.

“You’re mine, too! We both have your jersey!”

Remus flushed and had to look away from Sirius and his raised eyebrows then, pretending to watch James come back across the locker room with the gear. He didn’t want to hear what Sirius had to say about that.

James and Sirius were both at Julian’s level for a good fifteen minutes, signing things, taking pictures, and talking hockey. Kasey even came over before leaving to sign the jerseys and offer one of his own sticks. Remus didn’t know how Julian was going to carry it all.

His parents eventually left for their hotel with promises to meet him for breakfast the next morning and their favorite pancake spot—really everyone’s favorite pancake spot—in Gryffindor. Remus watched them walk back to their car until they turned out of view, smiling to himself at Jules’ insistence that he carry all three sticks and wear both jerseys at once.

Remus stopped by the exercise room on his way back to lock up the office for the night and, as expected, Sirius was there. He looked fresh off the bike and was on one of the mats, stressing his fingers towards his toes. Remus knocked lightly.

“Hey,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Hi.” Remus walked in a few more paces and leaned against one of the treadmills, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor softly. “I don’t want to interrupt you or anything, but I just wanted to thank you. For earlier. You—You really made my little brother’s life, there. He loves you guys.”

Sirius stood, dusting off his leggings and picked up his water bottle from the floor. “I hope he’s not the only one.”

Remus bit back a smile, and his heart clenched. If only Sirius knew what he was saying.

“Of course,” was all Remus could think of to reply.

“You’re family seems great, Re. Really.”

“They are,” Remus replied before he thought about what that statement probably meant, coming from Sirius. Sirius who didn’t have a family like that. Remus felt guilt and the want to strangle anyone who didn’t love Sirius properly swirl in his chest. Sirius deserved so much. Look what he would do for just one kid who he never even met, for Remus, who he barely knew outside of his work.

“I’m headed out soon.” Sirius said. “Do you need a ride?”

Remus shook his head, “Moody said he’d drive me.”

Even though everything in him was screaming at him to lie and say yes, he didn’t want to explain that to Moody.

“Ah.” Sirius said, nodding. He looked, if not disappointed, something like it. “Okay. Well, let me know, eh? Any time.”

“Thanks, Sirius.” Remus was aware of how soft his voice sounded, but there wasn’t much he could do about it with Sirius’ gray eyes on him.

Sirius smiled, a soft and lopsided thing, and Remus’ heart flipped in his chest. As Sirius left for the showers, Remus got back to his desk. On it, was a hat.

It was a Lions hat, red with gold piping and the gold lion. On the bill, in the gold sharpie that the team used for signing, was a messily scrawled message and a signature. Sirius’ signature, complete with the number twelve.

I’m glad I’m your favorite, it read.

(A/N: Ah, slowly but surely....:)

[kingjasnah]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Catching Up

It's my wonderful friend @minky-for-short‘s birthday so I wrote her a fic! And I'm posting just in case anyone read my fic 'I will love you if I never see you again' and wanted more dad Jupeter and more of their daughter!

Bianca has an announcement for her dads and there's only one way Nureyevs can communicate. And if you’d leave a comment on Ao3, I’d so appreciate it!

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There were many reasons they weren’t a conventional family.

There was their clunky surname that was hard to wrap your mouth around. Steel-Nureyev. Or maybe Nureyev-Steel, they’d never formally decided which way it went. Mostly because they never really had to use it and had never needed to write it down in any official capacity.

There was the fact that a female sewer rabbit lived in their modest Hyperion apartment, turning it into a tiny apartment and the rabbit into, technically, a house rabbit. It was fine, they rarely had guests over that weren’t Rita, Jet or the Aurinkos. Or Mick but he was terrified of Small Fry, as Juno insisted on still calling her.

There was the fact that, for months long stretches at a time, Juno and Nureyev would have no idea where their eldest daughter was. They would hear nothing from her or her wife, Desta, not so much as a message over their comms. Nothing but Juno’s anxious, obsessive tuning in to the police scanners of all the major planets and some from the outer rim to boot. Rita had hacked his comms so he’d be able to pick it up and Nureyev pretended he didn’t know how much he clung to it and that he wasn’t equally as worried, all the time, gnawing away deep down inside himself.

But there was also the fact that when, finally, they’d hear her boots in the hallway or see the coat that used to be Juno’s hanging on the coat rack by the door and hear her singing from her old bedroom, when their Bee Bee finally came home, the cards would always come out.

Juno tried to be a good host, tried to catch their attention to offer drinks but they were already focused. They sat across the dining room table from each other, like they always did, with the same matching smiles and narrowed eyes and playful determination. Nureyev laid the cards out himself, as he always did, so many that they took up a whole table in an array that still didn’t make a lick of sense to Juno, much to his irritation.

“Have they always done this?” Desta asked, her voice soft and quiet as always. Her lips were a bright blue today and she was smiling more than usual, “This game?”

Her eyes were on Bianca, with the same exasperated tenderness Juno was sure she’d see in his own eye, fixed on Nureyev.

“It used to be chess,” Juno hummed as he poured wine, “He taught her to play when she was six, they practised every night until she could beat him. Then he would cheat and she had to still win and tell him after how he cheated. Then they both cheated. And then they moved onto this. Same system, just with a game a million times more complicated.”

Desta looked at the splayed out cards, at the rapid fire way Nureyev dealt and shrugged, accepting the wine Juno held out to her and sipping mildly. Juno wished he could have the same blase attitude to not having a clue how Rangian street poker worked.

“Can’t you guys catch up normally?” he sighed, bringing Nureyev the glass of red wine he didn’t need to ask to know he wanted, “Like with a conversation? I’ve heard some families have those.”

“This is way more fun,” Bianca waved away her own glass and squeezed her mama’s hand instead, “Cos I get to catch up and beat my daddy at something.”

Nureyev’s eyebrow arched, “Confidence. An interesting play, given how our last game went.”

Bee Bee hummed, tilting her head so her earrings rang. Desta had clearly made them, they were exquisitely wrought discs of ceramic and bronze, painted with tiny flowers. She’d been doing a lot of pottery work lately, straying away from her usual canvasses.

“Funny, daddy, I don’t recall how our last game went. I prefer to focus on the game in front of me. First rule of thieving, right?”

Nureyev’s smile curled up at one end and he was clearly suppressing a chuckle, “Let’s start then. You can have the first question.”

Bianca tilted her head in thought, “Hmm...have you read Sephy’s manuscript?”

Nureyev’s eyes widened, “What? Have you? He’s not been letting anyone read it until his editor gets back to him, not even Idun!”

Her eyebrow lifted and her grin became truly smug, “Is that your question, daddy?”

He bristled the way a cornered cat would, “No. I want to know what planet you were just on.”

“Works for me. Let’s play!”

If Juno had thought Nureyev was fast back at the Oasis, now he thought he must grow four extra arms to keep up. He and Bianca were a flurry of effortlessly manicured, pale, spidery hands and laser burned, clever fingered, dark brown hands, all working to outwit the other set in ways that there was no hope of following. Juno gave up quickly, motioning Desta over to the sofa to the side of the table, making polite small talk about her latest gallery opening on Jupiter where the art scene had gone wild at the idea of an anonymous artist with such magnificent, bold pieces. He didn’t know a damn thing about art, especially good art, but the way the kid’s eyes lit up when she talked about her work was good enough for him.

They broke off when the hand ended, Bianca grinning in triumph and Nureyev scowling and gritting his teeth.

“No,” he said, short and clipped, “My own son, my flesh and blood, whom I gave life to will not let me read his manuscript.”

Bianca’s smile softened a little, “He just cares about your opinion. He doesn’t want you to read it until it’s absolutely perfect and even then he’s probably going to still worry you don’t like it.”

Nureyev gave a non committal grunt but it was clear she’d mollified him. Juno would have piped up and told him that he hadn’t been allowed to read it either but Nureyev already knew that. And he knew it didn’t stop either of them being so damn proud of their son, selling his first novel to a publisher at just twenty years old, after a childhood of watching him typing away on his comms, writing his little stories.

“Your turn, daddy,” Bianca smiled sweetly, shamelessly using every weapon she’d had since she was born to wrap the galaxy’s greatest thief around her little finger.

He drew in a breath and set his shoulders. Juno had seen him square up for fights before, he knew that look behind his cat eye glasses. Clearly Bianca had caught him on the back foot, bringing a new level to the game that he hadn’t known she could. But he was drawing himself tight as a bow, his knuckles threatening to burst out of his skin, his teeth showing under his lip.

Once again, Juno wished that they could catch up with their children over dinner maybe, cups of tea and biscuits even, like normal people.

“What planet were you just on?” Nureyev asked again, still stuck on his first question.

Bianca smiles broadly, dark gold eyes wandering around the room, “Did you and mama redecorate?”

“Play,” Nureyev looks insulted by her question, setting to the cards.

Juno just watched this time, he’d learned that a comfortable silence was best with Desta sometimes. He saw a lot of his younger self in the girl his daughter had brought back from one of her first big jobs. That didn’t bode well at all for the poor kid so he was always careful to give her space and just be a quiet presence beside her. It seemed to be working, she shifted closer to him after a minute of nothing but cards hitting the table, sounding like bird wings, and actually rested her head on his shoulder.

Juno smiled and let his eye wander over the table, not trying to make sense of the erratic movements and patterns that seemed to rise and fall apart within seconds, but just watching his husband and their daughter be brilliant at something. He had fun finding the eerie similarities in their expressions and their mannerisms, how she looked so much like him but acted so much like Nureyev.

He was so deep in his own thoughts that the only reason he didn’t miss the reveal was Nureyev’s startled noise of dismay.

“What?” he looked down at their cards like he was looking at a cat with two heads doing a tap dance across the table, “But...but I…”

Bianca tilted her head, humming innocently, “Something wrong, daddy?”

“How did you do that?” he demanded, stunned, “I’ve never used that method with you and I invented it myself, how could you know about it? How could you counter it so fast?”

“This is all very nice but all I care about is if that wallpaper is new,” she actually pretend to stifle a yawn. Juno had to swallow a laugh very quickly or he’d have been sleeping on the couch.

Nureyev trembled, “Yes. Yes, it’s new, we redecorated after your mother’s pet chewed through the plaster.”

“Hey, her new teeth were coming though, okay?” Juno piped up indignantly, “They were hurting.”

Bad move, all of Nureyev’s frustrations flowed at him like a blistering wind via the glare he gave him. Maybe he should start fluffing the couch cushions now. Desta giggled beside him.

“You have something, don’t you?” Nureyev swiveled back to his eldest with realisation chasing away the clouds annoyance, “Something big. That’s why you’re playing like this.”

Bianca gave no reaction but a pretty smile, “All you have to do is ask, daddy. Well, ask and win, I guess.”

“Was I born yesterday, treasure?” Nureyev sniffed, “I know how this game is played. I will ask but only when I am in the correct position, perfectly poised to strike.”

“Cool, daddy,” Bianca seemed more interested in her nails, her posture looking like she was having a lazy brunch with a friend.

Desta murmured softly, close to Juno’s ear, “They do...love each other, right?”

“Hard to tell sometimes, isn’t it?” Juno whispered back after a rough chuckle, “But yeah, they’re devoted to each other. They’re just like this.”

They continued to be ‘like this’ for another half hour, playing round after round, questions fired like shots by Nureyev and tossed out lazily by Bianca.

“Did you pull that job over in Olympus with the melting bank notes and not come visit us?”

“So how’s your yoga class? Does Bitch Jan still go?”

“Why do you call your mother when he’s at work when you know I won’t be there?”

“That necklace is cute, is it new?”

“How the hell did you win that last goddamn round?”

“I saw you having dinner at that place on Third Street on Auntie Rita’s feed, is it any good? I was thinking of taking Desta.”

“What exactly did I do to deserve such a terrible child? No that is not my question, shut up Juno!”

The rounds went on and Nureyev’s blood pressure steadily climbed. He lost again and again to Bianca, with her barely breaking a sweat, having to give up the mundanities of their empty nester life, his attempts at baking and their redecorating and the silly streams they liked to watch.

Juno had never seen this happen before. He’d never say it out loud but Bee Bee had always been the better player, when you looked at it all together, but there had never been a game where Nureyev hadn’t taken more than a few rounds from her and it had never been so easy.

Juno narrowed his eye and studied his daughter, now with her feet up on the table and rocking her chair back on two legs, clearly enjoying this. But equally as clearly up to something. Nureyev had it dead to rights, there was something she held, something that had to be big with all the effort she was putting in to make him unwrap it.

Before he could help it, Juno was adding it up. And, in less than a moment, in less time than it took for Bianca to tear her winning hand into shreds and playfully blow them in Nureyev’s direction, he had it.

“Holy shit!” he yelped, slapping a hand over his mouth a second too late.

Bianca shot him a sparkling grin and a look in her eyes like she knew he’d get it eventually. She put her finger to her red painted lips.

“What?” Nureyev looked like he didn’t know whether to flip the table or cry now, eyes darting between the two of them, “Oh come on! Now he knows?”

“He is a detective,” Bee Bee pointed out, “And you are supposed to be good at this game, daddy. You are getting old, huh?”

Nureyev grit his teeth, finger trembling in the air, a million cutting responses crowding on his tongue. But then he dropped his hand to the table and inhaled sharply, letting it come out again in a long, low hiss.

“You know what? Let’s do this. My question...what are you keeping from me, Bianca Nureyev?”

Bee Bee only smiled, almost in acceptance, and pondered a moment, “Um...did you like that podcast I sent you?”

The creases on Nureyev’s brow deepend, “But...but you know that? I told you that? Weeks ago?”

Bee Bee looked untroubled, “Pass or play, daddy?”

“Play,” Nureyev eventually said, after a long moment of him clearly wracking his brain for what new machination their daughter had just put into motion, deciding to let it run.

The difference was palpable, even from where Desta and Juno sat. Before she’d been snake-like in how quick and deadly her movements were, now she was deferential, walking right into his snares without a care, doing something no self respecting Nureyev or Steel had ever done. She was playing fair. All while smiling like she’d already won.

It was a quick slaughter. No one was surprised when they turned their cards over and Nureyev held the winning hand. No one but Nureyev himself.

“I...I don’t understand…” he muttered to himself, as his hands moved automatically to tear his cards, “How did you...after everything…”

“Would you like your answer?” Bianca swung her legs down, leaning close, now intent and eager.

Nureyev almost looked terrified, like he was waiting for a trap to spring around his neck but he couldn’t see how yet, “Yes...yes, fine. What’s this big secret?”

Bianca beamed, like she’d been waiting for this since she walked through the door, “You’re going to be a grandpa.”

Nureyev didn’t seem to register it at first, his face still set in puzzlement. Then his eyes went very, very wide and he sat bolt upright, jaw practically hitting his chest.

Bianca laughed, already standing to go and hug him as tight as she could, only just managing to get out her apologies, her assurances that it was just too hard to resist teasing him, through her giggles. If the way Nureyev clasped her close and buried his face in her cloud of hair, already crying, she was forgiven.

Juno gave himself a moment before he jumped up and pounced on them, a moment to watch them and just how much they loved each other.

A moment to think how, right now, he was so glad they weren’t a conventional family.

[takemealivelh]

Battle of the Bands Pt.3

2.4k | Enemies to Lovers | Pt.1 | Pt.2 | I honestly tried to look for a better picture that would fit this but I couldn’t so 

“You have a better view.”

To Jaida, there was nothing prettier than a Vegas morning. Pale pink-colored clouds and buildings, people walking with their coffees in their hands, either talking on the phone or with someone beside them. The Eiffel Tower made her feel like she was in Paris, even though she’d never left the states. She wondered if she’d be able to, after tonight.

Ashton shrugged from his position on the bed. Shirtless, red hair pushed back with a waking yawn, swollen marks on display. “Yeah, well… We’ve been around longer.” He reached out for a glass of water he had on the nightstand. “Are you nervous about tonight?”

The Billboard Awards started at 8 pm. Soundcheck was four hours prior and then the red carpet was at 6. 

Jaida turned to face him and leaned against the window banister. “Not really." She played with the buttons of the red shirt Ashton had left over a month ago at her place. He thought it looked stunning against her skin color. Unbuttoned, revealing the dark lingerie she had put on for him, covering just the right amount of her bare legs. “I love performing live. I prefer it,” she sighed and spun back around, resting her forehead against the condensed glass that overlooked the city.

The sun was hidden behind the clouds. She liked these kinds of days, they made her feel peaceful. The wild recklessness from the night before had already vanished, all that was left was a comfortable feeling. She could’ve gone as far as describing it as cozy. It startled her. This was the first time she didn’t feel like Ashton’s presence was a bother.

She’d surprised him the night before by knocking on the door of his hotel room, only two floors above from her and JJ’s. Ashton had a beer on his right hand when he opened the door. He didn’t get a chance to utter a word when Jaida unzipped the floor-length trenchcoat she’d bought a few days ago -for this exact reason- and revealed his half-buttoned shirt on her body. Ashton’s eyes had widened, breath caught on the back of his throat. He slipped a warm hand between the fabric of the silk outerwear and the cotton of the red shirt and grabbed her by the waist, making sure no one was around before he pulled her inside. 

“You want breakfast?”  

Ashton’s voice was husky, drenched in sleep. Throat sore from all the grunting of the previous night. “I was supposed to join my mates downstairs for the buffet, but we can order room service.” 

Jaida’s silence was longer than he expected it to be, he wondered what was going through her mind. She hadn’t left like she usually did, and he didn’t want her to go. Their hookups were consistently rough, fast and greedy, but last night had been different.

After pushing the trenchcoat off her body, Ashton had taken his time to tease her. He pressed his body against hers, pinning her against the nearest wall. His breathing had drawn out as he took the liberty to inhale the scent of her skin. He’d trailed slow, hot, suffocating kisses along her jawline. Jaida’s hands hadn’t gone immediately for the zipper of his jeans. She’d held onto his biceps, letting out small whines whenever his tongue would poke out.

“I’m craving eggs.”

Her voice snapped him out of the reminiscence. Ashton wrapped his fingers around the now empty glass of water. He took the time to explore her movements. The way two fine lines appeared between her eyebrows when she frowned. The way her frown seemed to last for only two seconds. How she brought her index finger -her fingernail, to be precise- to her right temple and tapped it four times. The way her chest and stomach seemed to rise when she took a deep breath through the nose, and the sizzling sound she made when she exhaled through the mouth.

She walked back towards him, standing close enough to feel the bed skirt on her knees. Ashton reached a hand to caress the outer side of her thigh, hoping that she’d lean down for a kiss. 

“I’m gonna take a shower, can you order?”

It wasn’t supposed to feel like a stab in the chest.

He hummed and nodded, feeling the skin of his arms bristle at the embarrassment of his train of thought. 

The water hit Jaida’s shoulderblades as she stood still. In less than 24 hours she would have to go on stage and perform. She hadn’t lied to Ashton, she really did enjoy performing, and she really did prefer that instead of playing in a studio or in a rehearsal room. The adrenaline her body experienced whenever the crowd would cheer, or when she’d catch a glimpse of a thousand people dancing, was addictive. Midnight Street had performed on live TV as well, several times, especially these past few weeks. Somehow, the Billboard Awards performance was stressing her. She didn’t like this new nerve-wracking feeling. She didn’t understand it.

Then again, it was the first time -in quite a while- that she’d have to go on stage, play and prove something to someone. 

The tabloids were divided, some of them were on her side. Most of them were on Ashton’s. Even when the Midnight Street single had been streamed well over 60,000,000 times on Spotify, the only reason the numbers were so high was because of Ashton. Her band had a good following that’d been there since the early days. EPs, demos, they were popular. 5SOS was an internationally loved and well-respected band, she was nervous she wouldn’t be able to keep up. The reputation of Midnight Street rested on her shoulders.

“Food’s here.” Ashton knocked on the bathroom door. The steam was seeping through the cracks. She had been there for a long time.

“Okay!”

Jaida turned the faucet off and pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes. She hoped some kind of acupuncture would help her calm down. But she did not know acupuncture.

“Are you alright?”

The voice echoed through the tiles, travelling to her ears. 

“Yeah!” she called, wondering if the weight on her chest would be gone by the night. “Just one second.”

Ashton had put on a pair of pyjamas bottoms to answer the door. He’d texted his bandmates that he had a rough hangover and he’d see them later for soundcheck. The smell of eggs and bacon filled the hotel room. Freshly squeezed orange juice, two mugs of Arabic coffee, whole-wheat toasts, a plate of strawberries, mangoes and pineapple. It took a lot for Ashton not to sink his teeth in the mouth-watering breakfast.

His eyebrows furrowed together when Jaida stepped out in a bathrobe. She had a towel wrapped around her head and her eyes were bloodshot red. Silently, she made her way towards the bed and sat on the edge, grabbed a piece of pineapple and chewed on it like she didn’t crave it. Ashton didn’t want to push her to talk, but he knew something wasn’t right. Her posture wasn’t the same confident one that drove him insane. She looked like a defeated warrior.

They ate in silence. Maybe he should’ve gone downstairs with his bandmates.

But she looked so worried. Ashton mentally cursed himself for thinking like an insensitive ass, but also for thinking like someone who cared.

A bluesy ringtone went off on the other side of the room. “That’s my phone.”

He watched her stand up and answer, he listened to her pretend she didn’t have a million things on her mind. She’d been fine the night before. She’d been tender under his touch and aggressive on top of him. 

“I gotta go.”

Jaida huffed and quickly went to grab her stuff on the dresser. Ashton’s suit was hung above, a two-piece black suit and a striped black-and-white shirt. She had joked last night that he’d given her the only piece of color he had in his closet.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes!” She snapped. “Fuck! Yes! I’m okay, I’m-” She trailed off when she saw the concern on Ashton’s eyes. He hadn’t moved from the bed. He hadn’t moved at all.

A long sigh escaped her lips as she threw her belongings back on the dresser and stripped off the bathrobe. Ashton tried not to be hypnotized by her nakedness. It wasn’t the time.

“This is your fault. This is all your fault.” 

Her words were harsh as she put the trenchcoat back on. Fingers shaking too much to slip on the lingerie. She let her hair fall, wet, behind her back as she tossed the towel on the floor. 

“What? Jaida, what’s going on? You were fine last night, you were-”

“Well, clearly not now!”

They remained silent for a while, eyes locked. Her breathing had increased its volume and its pace. Ashton walked over to her and she shook her head, took a few steps back, the back of her legs hitting the dresser.

He noticed the dark stains on the trenchcoat, droplets of her hair. She looked pale, her lips looked chapped. “I just wanna help.”

Ashton whispered against her skin, arms hesitant to wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him. She looked up at him. “You’ve done enough. It’s your fault that I’m this freaked out about something I do for a living.”

It dawned on him. The countless interviews he had insulted her, he hadn’t thought she would take it so personally. But how couldn’t she, when he was attacking her every single day? 

“To be fair, you weren’t so nice either.”

“Yeah, but my band isn’t as established as yours. After tonight, you will still have a career no matter what. I could fucking lose everything I’ve worked for. JJ has bent over backwards for this band, Ashton. Travis and Joel have nothing else. We have nothing else, okay?”

The fast vibrato on her voice broke his heart.

“Let me go!”

But he didn’t. Ashton held her tighter until she calmed down. He felt the tears against his naked chest and he cursed himself for getting too attached to this woman. The same woman who was crying because of him.

“I’m really sorry.”

Jaida pushed him away and wiped the tears off with the sleeve of her trenchcoat. “No, you’re not,” she scoffed. 

Before he could say anything else, she picked up her things and pushed right by him, going for the door. “See you tonight, then.”

-

Jaida had to reassure her band that she was okay. They’d been exchanging looks when they noticed how her hands were shaking, or when she almost tripped on the stairs, or when she almost hit a wall.

“I’m fine! JJ, no. I’m really fine.” 

She was dragged back inside the dressing room, JJ’s hand gripping on her wrist. 

“Listen, I love you but you need to tell us, or at least tell me, what is going on, okay? Soundcheck is about to start. We can’t have you playing with shaky hands, Jaida. Tonight has to be perfect.”

-

“Ash, you’ve been staring at your phone a lot. Everything okay?”

It was just the four members of 5SOS in the dressing room. They had just done their soundcheck and were getting ready to go back to the hotel, take a shower and dress up for the red carpet. As the rest of them were putting their guitars and bass in their cases, Ashton was glued to the sofa, not engaging in whatever conversation they had going on.

“It’s about that girl, isn’t it?”

Michael’s voice seeped right through his stubborn brain. Ashton looked up at his mates. 

“She was really freaked out this morning. She-”

“This morning?” Calum raised an eyebrow as the rest of the band walked over to where Ashton was sitting. They were intrigued. “You mean, you-”

“Yes, I fucked her last night.” Ashton shrugged and kept scrolling through his phone. He didn’t know what he was looking for, or if he was waiting for a text from Jaida or anything. “Yes, I have fucked her several times since we met. We’ve kept this thing going. And now she’s worried she’s about to mess up her band’s career because of me.”

No one said anything for a while. 

“Fuck, she’s right, isn’t she?” Ashton threw his phone to the side and dropped his head between his knees in frustration. 

“I mean,” Luke cleared his throat, “you started it, Ash.”

“You’ve said over and over again that Midnight Street is not gonna be around for long because of this, because of that… you really didn’t expect her to-”

Ashton stood up and interrupted Michael. “I can’t deal with this right now, I have to find her.”

“Do you think he likes her? Like, as more as someone he’s hooking up with?” Luke wondered after Ashton left the dressing room.

Michael shook his head, “I don’t know, mate. I do know he really thinks highly of her. And he respects her as a musician.”

“He’s so fucked.”

“Yeah.”

-

Ashton tried her phone, he tried her room, no answer. She wasn’t on the BBMA’s dressing room, she wasn’t on the hotel’s lobby. He couldn’t find her or any member of her band, for that matter. He needed to tell her that all of his stupid insults were because he felt threatened. Because he thought Midnight Street was a solid band and he didn’t want them to upstage his own.

The interviewers went straight for him as soon as 5SOS stepped on the red carpet. 

Ashton, what do you expect of Midnight Street’s performance tonight? Are you going to be watching Midnight Street’s performance? Ashton?

Is Midnight Street’s performance, Ashton, something you’re looking forward to seeing tonight?

He avoided the questions. 

“I’m looking forward to everybody’s performance tonight. I think it’s going to be a good night to celebrate music and to show our fans the thought and energy we put in our shows. As a band…”

Ashton didn’t give the answers the press wanted to hear. Instead, he stuck to the ones he hadn’t delivered before, but still rang true. He thought to himself how stupid he’d been, trying to put another band down instead of building up his pride and joy.

He felt a tap on his shoulder, he directed his eyes to where Calum was gesturing with his chin. 

Midnight Street had just arrived.

“Fuck.” He mumbled under his breath.

Jaida looked like a vision. He was so accustomed to seeing her in power suits that he almost forgot how great her legs were. A fitting, thigh-length, burgundy dress

-

-

-

This was supposed to be the end of this fic but I couldn’t bring myself to write anymore, maybe one day I’ll finish this but I probably won’t. If you’re reading this, thank you. I just didn’t want to have this draft laying around and not posting it. I’m probably being impulsive and dramatic (that’s who I am) but I am not happy. It hurt to realize that so I’m either gonna take a break or just not come back. Some kind of explanation here. Thank you for reading. It has meant a lot to me.

TAG LIST

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@kingxnichole @placeoftime

[athanasia-istolla]

Interview: Sindri Istolla

The following is done in a present state/day style: Oct 19th 2019/Unknown Hydaelyn date.

► Name ➔ “Sindri Rianorix Istolla be m’ full name, not dat anywon uses such.”

► Are you single ➔ “Mm if ye mean am I not see’n anywon, den yee. Tis long since dat’a been elsewise.”

► Are you happy ➔ “A’times, yee. Tis not always easy. I hath my health an me life. The Shroud itself be kind ta me even thou som folk be not.”

► Are you angry? ➔ “Angry? Non non.. Frustrated perhaps at current, but such wilt pass once dem false wanted posters be delt with.”

► Are your parents still married ➔ “When saw em last, yes.. I dun think much could’a shook dat bunch’s unionship even after all dis time.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “mm such thing, is knowledge for the trusted only..”

► Hair Color ➔ “Most be silver with streaks o black.. Tis ma natural colour despite de questions o who I see ta get it done… all most non believe me thou.”

► Eye Color ➔ “Hmm ma eyes be bit complex.. Da outer lens is Dune-gemed Lilac, such be all dat most see at first glance, in part o how large they are. Yet past such lay a shifting teal-violet set o limbal rings o’ sorts. Tis not supar hard ta see, more easy at night thou. Last me sclera is dark, bu’ with how large de dune lens is, tis unnoticed by near all. If one was in ma life oft enough, eventually would see both o such thou.”

► Birthday ➔ “Thirteenth Moon of the Sixth Umbral Moon (13/12), T’was so early that day the sun had not risen yet”

► Mood ➔  “Perhaps a bit uneasy. Feels like some’n coming.. Yet tis hard ta discern when an if such be related ta thee fake posters.”

► Gender ➔ “Female.”

► Summer or winter ➔  “Winter. Aside de lovely delights of the season, cozy hearths, the quiet snow brings to de world.. The stars hang longer over head.. Tis peaceful to bundle near a soft fire an gaze upon the astronomic gems.”

► Morning or afternoon ➔ “If ye mean when to wake.. Just ‘fore dawn.. The stars still littering the sky.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Love? Non.. perhaps hav’ a crush or three.” soft shy chuckle “But non, not love.. Not yet at least.”

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ Rumbles an amused chur as she smiles. “The fates work in many ways.. I have yet to personally experience such depth of sudden infatuation. I would personally be cautious of such. Yet I would not say such be impossible.”

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “If by such yet again ye be speak’n o the intimate type… Circumstance.. Events beyond our control.. Despite the effort against such. I doth not know if she survived the raid.. An I was likely sold off too quick if they had mounted a rescue.. Twas a very long time ago now..”

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “Am sure I likely hath broke a few in my home lands.. An perhaps some of these ones.. in the past at least. I can say such was not out o ill will nor intentional thou.”

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Hmm non.. Tis not commitment I fear, tis abandonment, an what I can contribute being ‘enough.’ I know well I can’t provide all things, even the instances I wish to thee core I could. Tis hard ta find those who understands such.. While I am not opposed at all to Monogamy in the ‘right’ circumstances. Polyamory-esk dynamics feel more natural to me. T’was very common in my home lands. I’m.. still healing from things, I’ve made much road, yet still be more a head. ‘Someday’ I hope to share thine life with anothers again..” Chuckles “course such whimsy talk.. Who knows.. ‘Someday’ could start tomorrow if the fates align.”

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Doth this include Crypts an Elementals?”

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Recently? Not any am aware of.. I mean, tis part o the name no? If they be do’n it right am not supposed ta be know’n ye?”

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Oh ye.. T’was a very long time ago now though..”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Both.. Ye ye I know it says choices.. Yet both share a common base.. Passion.. An I rather adore passion.. In all things, not just the tango twix two or more.”

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ “While can’t say I’ve tried iced-tea.. Lemonade is much too sour usually fer me. So tea.. With the promise ta try it iced come thee summer months again.”

► Cats or Dogs ➔ “I’m one who rather likes all nature.. If I must chose, Cats. They be far more self sufficient an tis quite lovely ta have a purring snuggle bug close while read’n.” 

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few best/close companions.. Much as of course one would have other degrees of relations.. A core few dear faces is preferable..”

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Am a bit o a quiet one on de whole. Yet night outs can be quite delightful.. Hmm will go with night in, this time.” Softly chuckles.

► Day or night ➔ “Night, especially a clear night with a new moon.. Stars as far as you can see.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔  “Of course, who hasn’t when young.. Even then I was.. Enamored with the astral.. Twas hard not to sneak out with ma scope on dem new moon nights.”

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Gehh.. course ye got’a ask som’n like dis.. Ye.. both.. more den am gonna be admit’n..” Her features bronzen with a lil pout.

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Ye.. more den once..”

► Wanted to disappear ➔ “There were times.. In de past.. Am sure in some.. Most would have wanted the same..” Glances away, her tails coiling tighter around her hips as she hugs a length o one to her chest to suppress a tremor.

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes, there is.. Much one can glean from a simple quick glance from the eyes..”

► Shorter or Taller ➔ “Oh dear.. Make’n me out ma self hm? Taller.. Am quite petite.. Four-Fulms an Three-Ilms tall at most, while I do enjoy huggling de even smaller den myself.. Tis hard not to be bit captivated by a taller lass.” Her features bronze again whilst she wiggles a little in her seat.

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ “mm Am gonna cheat again an say both.. While I do lean towards a captivating mind.. Tis much said for there to also be de draw of the physical.. Perhaps tis a balance or one o em ratio kind’a things?” Grins a lil.

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Mymy ye are a nosy bunch ne? Ye gonna ask for my diary next?” Chuckles through an amused rumble. “mn I’d say there be a place for both.. Yet I do lean more to relationships.. An such things have numerous degrees to them.. Yet something.. I guess that doesn’t leave one feeling.. Used o sorts.. Am sure some could argue there is “fun/good” ways of that feeling.. I’ve.. only experienced the darker side o such thus far.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “Yee, we did quite well on de whole.. Course we had our disagreements and such, what fam doesn’t.”

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “hmm before these lands.. No.. it was a good life.. Even when we disagreed I was never treated ill or harmed.. An I could tell.. That they honestly thought they were doing the best for my sake.. ”

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ Laughs softy “Guess you could say such in away.. Certainly wasn’t intentional.”

► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Non, not in de way yer asking at least.. There be an ‘o age’ passage with my kin.. Live off the lands on our own till our ink finish take’n root.. Mine took bout four full cycles.. Folks were very relieved when I returned ta em.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “Non non.. I’ve more aquatencies and trade contacts den friends currently.. I wouldn’t say hate but.. Thinking on it, perhaps a bit of wryness o one fellow.. Am doubtful they be give’n me the right return on some the crystals I sell em.”

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔  “mn again I don’t really have at the moment.. Tis certainly a few acquaintances I’d like to get to know better.. Some.. much better.. I will admit to shyness an caution, despite my friendly demeanour.. Have been.. Betrayed more than few times.”

► Who is your best friend ➔ “Currently I don’t have someone I’d consider such.. Perhaps someday though.”

► Who knows everything about you ➔ Those lilac gemed eyes cast down a bit. “Saga did.. I know not if she lived through the raid on our village. Lady Lena as well, that was less willing of a conversation, despite my gratitude for being saved, in some sense, from de slave fight pits in Ul’Dah. I feared she’d sell me right back to the nearest auction if she knew it all.. or kill me herself. Yet she didn’t.. What more, made me da Head o house Attendant’s second & de attendant/body guard of her only heir, her daughter. Both Ladies of Bloodlion passed in the calamity.”

Tagged By: @kyrie-silverwings

Tagging folks mostly to share the info cuz I have barely anything for Sindri up lol Shy flail. No worries if you’ve already done it: @tsukikotanshi @lulu-ffxiv @az-ffxiv @under-the-blood-moonlight​ @fair-fae @purple-salt-mage @othard @alun-ura @cheche-dotharl​ @paleshadeofrose​ @clouded-vxle​ @trishelle

[olicity-fanwork-exchange]

For: @mel-loves-all

Hi Mel, I hope I do this justice. I see you like the supernatural world with magical historical love. I took inspiration from the Underworld movie without the vampires. Not much of a dabbler in soulmates/empathy stories; I wouldn’t know where to begin. So, I mixed some werewolf love, wolf-like pups, Oliver and Felicity around their last moments of their pregnancy with Mia. Hope you like.  

- @cruzrogue

For everyone else: General Rating. Here is the synopsis:

Oliver comes home from a jog while also preforming a perimeter sweep. He finds that Felicity while due to have their daughter has befriended two large stray wild dogs that could pass off as wolves. The female is also pregnant which makes the whole ordeal crazy. Felicity shrugs at the dangerous factors as she’s been reading a supernatural love story about a werewolf pack where the Alpha male seemly is in love with a human.

The werewolf series stars:  Jonah – Meglaine – Lorrelle(human)

Dogs names: Fido and Frida

Typos/grammar are my own! Hope you enjoy!

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Heavy breathing. Cutting through the thick woods.

A foot imprint left against the soften mudded side off a small creek behind the wooden cabin as the runner in sweatpants looks around to not see the large wolf like creature tracking him since he first started his daily early morning jogs. The dated paw prints telling him that it hasn’t been around this section of the land since their introduction. Maybe seeing a human had it scurry off and it makes the man inspecting those tracks sigh in some relief.    

Hearing the swirl of leaves scrapping against the rugged terrain until some become airborne Oliver looks at the scene as nature shows the power it holds with just a gust of wind. Taking another glance at the old paw print almost the size of his hand he starts his jog back to the cabin. Time to make a healthy breakfast even though it will accompany fruit loops or lucky charms or some other sugary cereal that his bedmate will require other than the egg whites he plans on making anyways.

Cutting through the woods back onto the small path he makes it back quickly just to stop in his tracks as he sees the approaching view. The beating of his heart increasing tenfold as he takes in the scene that could come out of a horror film. Two large wolf-like-dogs surround Felicity. He’s planning on running at them. Maybe even being lucky to tackling one of them giving his wife time to get to safety. As long as his wife is safe, he’d do anything.

Before he is able to put his thoughts into action, he hears his wife’s laugh. He stops to reassess the situation and notices that both animals are now heeding to his wife’s command. Maybe these large what might be dogs aren’t so wild after all? Still being cautious he keeps his distance not wanting to spook them while Felicity’s hand is quite close as the smaller of the two canines sniffs her hand.

When the opportunity comes, he calls out to Felicity. Felicity looking up from the two fluffy four-legged grey-white crossbreed dogs as she holds her smile seeing that her husband has come back from his morning run.

“Morning Oliver.” He makes small calculated movements towards them not knowing anything other than meeting the larger one since his first jog around the perimeter of the property.

“Felicity, why don’t you go back inside.”

“Why? I want to introduce you to Fido and Frida.”

Oliver looks at the hounds as they seem to be as startled to his presence as he is to theirs.

“Felicity! Please its dangerous to be out here.”

Felicity gives him a weird look but does do as he asks. She begins her ascent up the stairs to the back deck of the cabin. The female dog is right behind her as Frida nudges her human companion up the stairs.

“Okay, okay. I know I’m wobbling but unlike you I’m using my two legs.”

Oliver doesn’t know what to make of that conversation she is having with the dog. He has another set of eyes that are locked onto him. Needing to pass Fido safely and then Frida to get inside. He has many questions regarding how she met them and he’s trying to keep his emotions in check as he moves away from these larger dogs once he knows Felicity is safe with a closed door between her and her newly acquired friends it seems.

As he enters through the front door placing the keys onto a dish. He walks hurriedly to find his wife rummaging around a cabinet for her breakfast cereal.

“Do I want to know how…”

Felicity stops him midsentence as she turns her head slightly from the cabinet, she feels like having chocolate flavored cereal today. “Before you start. Met them when you went out for supplies that day it was raining.”

“That was almost a week ago.”

“I know.” She shrugs as she finally turns towards him with the chosen box. “I saw how you handled that raccoon in the garbage. Knew you’d be way to overprotective.”

“You’re nine months pregnant Felicity. Keeping rabid animals away from you seems like a good idea.”

“Oliver, I’ve been cooped up in this place like Rapunzel. No WIFI. Barely a working TV station and I only have the small selection of books the previous owner of this place found alluring.”

“I thought you were enjoying that werewolf series you found.” Oliver gives her a sweet smile, “We will be getting the whole technological hook up just putting together the blueprints and what we will need.”

“I am. But I hate this damsel situation very much so.”

“Fine. I can understand your frustration. Look you have pointed out I’m not the one carrying a soccer field around with me. But eating healthy…”

She moans and gives him her famous pout she wants chocolate cereal to whatever else he’ll make for her. “Well she is a kicker, and let’s add gymnast.”

“Fine.” He can’t argue with her when she keeps using the magic pout with him. “I’m making some add-ons to that measured bowl of sugar you seem to live on.”

Felicity shrugs as she knows she’ll have to eat some of that fruit and protein he’ll push on her.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Days later, Felicity has her head against one of the plush pillows her husband made sure for her to have. She’s sitting out on the deck with Fido by her feet. Oliver just finished building a little pen for Frida to place near the fireplace where they are expecting Frida to have her pups.

His reluctance to have these wild animals around is short lived as his wife would find ways to spend time with the pregnant dog. The moment he sensed it is a losing battle he took them both to a local veterinarian place to have them checked out. Indeed, Frida is also at the last stretch of her pregnancy.

Learning how daring his wife is in befriending these dogs had his blood pressure rise up at how crazy the whole thing is and how she didn’t even think twice about her and their baby girl’s safety. It drives him mad that she can reason things like her welfare and good nutrition off like secondary concerns.

Felicity replaying her story to her husband a little differently than actual events as he finds himself sitting, pacing, looking at her with trepidation, and finally just back to sitting and allowing her to finish the tale. He tries his hardest to not interrupt her story.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

-Flashback

The day started relatively normal like most days so far…

It starts with him leaving her cozy in bed as he heads into town to get supplies. Oliver went out to stock up their pantry.

Felicity can’t wait to meet her baby. If not only to get more mobility. She aches sitting down, standing up, and even when laying down. Luckily, she’s had a relatively easy pregnancy but she can’t wait to see her feet again.

Oliver left her in bed to read another chapter or two of a love-story between a handsome werewolf and a human doctor who is figuring out slowly that the mysterious stranger she met is different. The description of the woman named Lorrelle fits all the facts of what is considered attractive but Felicity just doesn’t connect with this character as she seems dull and impressive but she is the destined love of the handsome Jonah Wilde the male protagonist of the book. As Lorrelle keeps finding herself in his world and danger seems to follow this female she meets a young quirky female that is written to support both of these characters in having it lead to an epic romance. Jonah using his friendship with Meglaine to help hide from his love interest what they are for who could love a werewolf. Putting the book down, Felicity slowly frees herself from the bedcovers as she feels an appetite for yesterday’s leftovers. Hopefully the yummy food hits the right spot so she can head back to bed and read some more.

Now standing before the fridge looking at the remnants of last night’s meal. Oliver and his MasterChef production the man decided to make meatloaf and being she’s been talking about chicken cacciatore he seemly added it to the menu. She knows he has been as bored as her but the excitement of meeting little Mia is an overwhelming feeling that practically drums out all the other things in their lives.

Taking out the rest of the meatloaf because as much as she enjoyed the chicken yesterday the smell of the meatloaf has held her senses since seeing it just sitting on the third shelf in the fridge since grabbing the milk for her Lucky Charms hours before.

Grabbing a plate and placing a generous portion to be nuked in the microwave she smiles while rubbing her round belly.

“Mia we are so lucky daddy is such a great cook.”

Just as she places it into the microwave oven, she hears scratches against the outer door and pauses. It’s quiet for about a minute until the scratching happens again and she knows she shouldn’t but her curiosity always gets the best of her and she looks out the cabin door window and sees an enormous fluffy white dog she assumes is a dog scratching the exterior door. The levity of how the rain isn’t as heavy as it was merely when Oliver left her in the cabin. The drizzle light pinging of water as it hits against the wood on the deck while glimpsing the poor animal’s wet fur her heart constricts.

Not thinking much of it she takes a piece of the meatloaf and cuts it into pieces. She isn’t crazy to just open the door. Oliver would kill her if the enormous white dog hurts her or their baby metaphorically, she thinks. In actuality he would most likely read her the riot act of crazy things we don’t do. He wouldn’t understand seeing an animal in need truly pulls at her heartstrings and how could she just turn away from helping another soul that is suffering. No. It would be outrageous not to help. Isn’t that the basis of how they fell in love. Helping others while becoming friends, partners and eventually into lovers. Besides she doesn’t think the dog is dangerous or rabid he or she just might be hungry and here she is bound for gluttony is about to eat more than what she really needs.  

Speaking at the door knowing the dog is hearing her. “Hi, are you hungry?” She only hears more rapid scratching against the frame. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” As if on cue the dog barks.

She opens the top part of the high Dutch door and slowly gives a piece of the meatloaf. “Are you a girl?” No movement as the fur ball happily sits waiting for another piece she has in her hand. “Okay. Boy?” and when it barks, she lets out with a laugh. “Boy it is.”

Letting another handful fall she sees he doesn’t catch it into his mouth bet lets it drop onto the deck. He isn’t eating it and Felicity raises an eyebrow wondering what he is doing. With its nose he drags the meat to the edge of the deck and allows for it to fall. “Okay.” She mutters to herself knowing that asking the dog why he did that would give her no answers.

Observing him tears fill her eyes suddenly catching the collar on him, it looks like he’s outgrown it. “Poor boy. You don’t have a home.” She realizes she doesn’t have a home too as she also ran away with Oliver. Unable to be safe in Star City. Tears fall freely and she just looks at the poor dog that probably needs affection to.

Hearing a sudden howl that matches her cry that is not coming from the white bundle that sitting on the deck observing her. Becoming alert to there being at least another dog outside. Maybe she should close the door and wait for her husband. All this could be more than she can handle. Though the little whines coming from under the deck make it hard to do just that. She can’t be a cold-hearted woman to potentially another wet, cold, hungry doggie. She waits a little longer and she feels she made the right choice as she sees the smaller of the two damp dogs limping making itself known to her as the bigger dog runs down the steps towards his friend.

Felicity can hear the little whiny sounds from the smaller dog and without thinking she grabs the plate of food and the kitchen towel and goes outside. At first the bigger dog growls at the human who is up on the deck looking down. Felicity can see how much the larger dog cares for its companion as he’s nudging the smaller dog back under the covering of the stairs that is keeping it semi-dry.

Grabbing a small handful of food, she drops it. “Here sweetie.” The smaller one chomps it down. She alternates between throws as each dog has a piece. When she runs out of food she wonders if she should get more but decides against it. Heading to the door she hears a bark and looks down the stairs as the smaller one starts hopping slowly towards her.

He stops just a stair away and Felicity can see it too has a snug collar. Letting out praise “Good boy.” It gives the weary dog courage to climb up one more step to sniff her shoes. Slowly she brings out her palm and lets him sniff it.

Seeing the most beautiful grey-blue eyes looking at her. She decides that maybe a few more edible treats are what these two needs. She pets the top of the head and tells him she’ll be right back. Opening the door and knowing that there are a few meaty meals in the fridge she makes short work of getting it ready for the two sweet pups that are now sitting on the deck.  

She finds out the smaller one isn’t a boy after all as she cuts the tightened collar that probably hurt this sweet girl. Looking at the little name tag as she reads, “Frida” she looks at into those mesmerizing eyes looking back at her. “Hi Frida.” The dog licks her face.

It takes a bit longer to convince Fido that taking the collar is a good idea. His is starting to embed itself into the poor dog’s neck. “Oh, poor Fido. But now you’re free.” As she stands up slowly from her position, she feels fatigued so she wishes them well and goes inside. Shortly after the rain starts picking up again and she hopes they are somewhere safe.

She changes into what she can and lays back onto the bed. Oliver is due back soon. Closing her tired eyes, she dreams of two happy fluffy white fur-balls.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Coming home Oliver places the supplies on the counter and wants to check on his wife. He misses her and seeing that she is okay will make him feel better. He knows he’s been mother hen and hoovering around her making sure she gets all the needed bed rest. Basically, keeping her off her feet. She grumbles and is always telling him she can handle it but it’s so cute how she tries to even get off the bed without his help. Her large belly betrayers her as she tries to prove her point and he keeps his wit constantly trying hard to keep a smile for gracing his face so she doesn’t get grouchy.

Moving around the bedroom as he tidies up, he checks her forehead to see if it’s warm. He wasn’t expecting her to have damp clothes sprawled around the floor. With her still sleeping soundly he just gives her a light kiss and goes back to the kitchen to unpack.

Taking the cold items from the bag and pulling the fridge door handle he begins moving items to make room when he sees the two platters, he made last night that are almost empty. “What?” He doesn’t expect both the chicken and the meat dish to be almost empty. He moves to open the dish washer and sees the newer dirty plates. He can’t believe she’d eat that much. “Okay.” Though he has caught her eating junk food in alarming rates so it isn’t impossible he thinks. Shrugging he continues putting the products away.

She wakes to catching him talking to their unborn child. It is the purest of moments when he does this. The words he says are full of hope and she can hear a longing in his voice to hold, to love, to protect fiercely. She is truly lucky to have this journey with a man who has such a deep rich heart. She knows that he knows she is awake but he makes no movement while he is still in a whisper-like moment with his daughter sharing a secret that only he can hear. As his lips lightly kiss her belly where his daughter is making her presence known he finally rises up enough to reach Felicity’s lips for a sweet peck.

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay. How was your trip into town?”

“Uneventful. Mrs. Baker says hi.”

“That’s nice.”

“Just nice? Maybe I should take back the freshly made mint chocolate ice cream she made for you.”

Felicity’s eyes widen with excitement. “She made me ice cream?”

“Yes! She also told me her daughter will be back in town tomorrow to check up on you.”

Felicity nods she likes the midwife enough and her mother Mrs. Baker is a sweet older lady that has been helping out since they arrived here.

“I want Mint chip.”

Oliver grins as he thinks to himself how lucky he got to have such a precious woman in his life. “Okay, a scoop of ice cream it is.”

“Ah…”

“Just one scoop before I make dinner and you’ve already had a feast this afternoon.” She gives him that puzzled look. “Half the chicken is gone and only a small portion of the meatloaf is left. I know you can eat but that was a lot of food. We don’t want a tummy ache, right?”

She waves her head no but she’s hungry. She barely ate any of that meatloaf or chicken as she entertained her guests. “Umm… about that?” She thinks maybe telling him would be a bad idea especially after the whole raccoon debacle of her husband chasing a raccoon away with a broom. Oliver seriously thought about getting his bow if Felicity didn’t talk him out of how ridiculous he was being. He moved the outside garbage barrel away from the house as a happy medium. “Umm… sure one scoop be fine. What do you plan on making for dinner?”

“A pot roast, do you have any requests?”

“No that sounds good so how about that ice cream?” Giving her another kiss before he goes on his way.

-End Flashback

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As she finishes the story Oliver is by her on the extra chair on the deck.

“I now know why you were disappointed that there wasn’t going to be enough leftovers. I honestly thought you didn’t like the dish.”

“I’m sorry you went into overdrive to make another meal. Even when I said that dinner was delicious.”

“Felicity, baby we can’t omit things to each other just so one of us doesn’t get riled up.” Oliver moves to her oversized lounge chair making sure she comfortable in his arms. “There is going to be a million and one things that could set us both off just in raising Mia. We need to be a united front. I’m all in with you. We are a team, right?”

“Right. But…” She can hear him hold his breath waiting for her to go on. “But, it’s just hard to disappoint you. You’ve been this strong rock for me and making you worry is the last thing I want to do.”

“Felicity, I know the feeling.” He takes her hand into his squeezing it lightly. “Though right now you’re very passionate and yes a little careless for my tastes.”

“See even when you’re scolding me you keep from saying I’m a hormonal mess.” He shakes his head at that but is happy she didn’t add the weight portion of her deprecating mumbles.

“I love you so very much.”

“Love you too.”

“Now let’s get you back in the house. I think Frida will have her pups tonight.” Looking at the female dog who hasn’t left the box he’s made as she is licking her backside.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

After the third and final puppy is born. Oliver pets Frida. Frida’s has been accommodating to the humans cleaning her babies. Even with Frida being smaller than Fido, she is a very large Czechoslovakian Wolfdog and Oliver took the time to read as much about this breed. Having such large prey animals near his pregnant wife made him nervous. Learning their temperaments because Mia is his primary concern. He knows Felicity trusts his word and if he thought these two wolfdogs pose any dangers at any time that he’ll have no problem sending them all to the pound. Felicity jokes that once they’ve assimilated into his everyday life and he falls in love with them he’d do his hardest to protect any newcomer into his family. She may be right. He is a big softy when it comes to family.

Felicity hands him the last cleaned puppy to be placed back into the litter of greyish-white cuteness. “Wow! They’re so big already.” Making a face. “Ouch.” Thinking of when she’ll be at this stage giving birth to her own daughter she asks, “Do you think Mia’s head will be huge?”

Oliver looks from Frida now licking her babies to his wife. “I think she’ll be proportional to a normal baby her size.” He takes the now extremely dirty towel from her as she begins to pull the gloves off, he had her wear. “And no. She won’t be a puppy or some hybrid werewolf she’ll be a good mix of us.” He looks at her giving him that dubious look. “Felicity, neither of us are canines no matter what that weird site says.”

“Yea, yes I know. I just been reading way too much into that world.”

“Maybe when I go to town tomorrow, I’ll get some non-supernatural books for you to read. Maybe a fair maiden and her hunky mate in some historical romance series.”

“That’s sweet but I need to continue reading about Jonah Wilde. I’m half way in and fully invested. Though I’m not really feeling why he is in love with that doctor. She’s so one-dimensional.” She gives the gloves to him to toss out being that she’s having a hard time trying to rise from the comfy armed chair.

“Let me just get rid of these and make sure there is plenty of water for Frida and make sure Fido isn’t going to barge in and disturb us all.”

“He’s been quiet since he became a father. Maybe you should have a talk with him.” She looks at him shaking his head in bewilderment but nods knowing doing this will make her happy.

“Okay, but before I handle Fido, I want to make sure you’re comfy in bed. You’ve had an adventurous evening and I know you must be exhausted.” Filling a water bowl, he brings it close to where Frida can get to it with ease. He isn’t tired but he can’t wait to just wrap his arms around his wife but that is usually after she falls asleep. He’s found that going to bed together Felicity has a harder time finding the right position to sleep. She places to much emphasis on making sure he has some room that it’s just easier for her if he isn’t in bed and just sitting there listening to her babbles before tucking her in.

“Okay.” She struggles a little before his strong grip helps her up as they move slowly to their room. “Mia’s also been quiet tonight. I guess maybe my excitement for the new pups exhausted her.”

“Maybe.” He makes sure she is steady on her feet before letting her go. “I do hope she’ll be a good girl tonight and let her mom sleep throughout the night.” He hears Felicity make a ‘pfft’ sound indicating the moment she gets into a nice sleeping rhythm her daughter will make sure that her existence is known.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

An enchanting amber color of the flames radiating from the fireplace casts the only light in the large room where Frida sleeps alongside her pups. With the occasion cries of her babies they feed and sleep an ongoing process since being born a few hours ago.

Just a few feet away Oliver finds himself moving his hand to stop the soft caress against his face. Moving his head slightly as the pillow he used to sleep on slides further away. He came here when he just didn’t want to disturb his wife from a fitful sleep. No matter how much the term bedrest is used it seems his wife just couldn’t find tranquility to fully get the rest she deserves. Seeing her finally looking peaceful he couldn’t disturb her. That may be due to all the excitement of Frida having her litter and how much the dog allowed her human companions to clean and welcome each new pup to the world. Seeing his wife so happy put him at peace.

Sharing a few words with Fido last night as the dog decided to hang with him and not keep Felicity company. The dog watched his human host throw a blanket and one pillow near a wall that observed the new instant family of five. Oliver’s face meets with a cold hardwood floor. Groaning as he makes an unintelligent noise while waking up to a furry tail brushing his head every once in a while.

“Okay boy.” Oliver swats the furry tail from hitting him again. “We need to learn boundaries.”

“Does that mean we are keeping them?” Felicity’s voice is heard coming from the hallway. Fido excitedly already leaves Oliver’s side to the human he seems to prefer. “Hey boy.” Oliver is right behind Fido as he stops the dog from leaping to lick Felicity in the face.

“No! Down!” sighing loudly. “Felicity what are you doing out of bed?”

“I noticed my husband wasn’t in our bed.” Felicity looks at Oliver controlling Fido before he is able to look back at her.

“You finally were having a good night’s sleep I couldn’t wake you up.”

“So, literally sleeping with the dogs is…?”

He just shrugs but keeps a strong hold on Fido. “You should still be in bed.”

“I’m pregnant not sick.” Felicity holds out her hand so Fido can lick it. “How’s Frida?” Just as the name is uttered Frida comes around and Oliver groans. “Hey momma.”

“Felicity, please go back into the room before one of these pooches gets overexcited.”

“You can be so grumpy. Okay fine.”

Oliver commands them to sit and both obediently do so as they watch their mistress walk back into her room. He has to give credit where its due whomever trained them did a great job. Though abandoning or neglecting such wonderful dogs makes him want to knock some sense into the irresponsible pet owner. Bloomfield is a small town but it has a veterinarian shop which posted a flyer of Fido and Frida. Now they wait to see if anyone comes forward.

He walks into their room and sees Felicity sitting on a stool he uses to plop his feet. She’s trying to grab the book on the floor to no avail. “Honey, let me get that.”

She makes a disgruntled noise as she tries one more time.

“You don’t need to prove that you’re not helpless. Last time I checked you are carrying our perfect child one more thing you can do that I can’t.”

“Oh please!”

“There is no contest. I wish you could see yourself like the way I see you.”

“Oh my.” A small grin forms before she sports a larger one. “It seems we went full circle.” She looks at him kneel down and grab the supernatural romance book.

“Full circle?”

“Yes, my beloved pupil whom has become the master. I am so happy you’ve come to see yourself like the hero I always knew you were.”

He lets out a huff an amusement as his wife is always surprising him with words. “I am the lucky one it seems but we need to get you back in bed. Do you need to relieve yourself?”

“Oliver, honestly?”

“I know. I know I can be a little much but helping you is my everything right now. Beside I’m going to be heading out for my morning run with Fido and I want to make sure the ladies of the house are all good.”

“Just make sure to feed me some granola I’d be fine until the main breakfast.”

“Of course, which sugary substance are you craving?”

“I might go with Fruit Loops.”

“So how is the story coming along?” He hands her the book as she’s finished sliding back into the bed and replaces the blankets back on herself. “Did the doctor find out that Jonah is a werewolf?”

Felicity rolls her eyes as she moves to the pages and she begins to read, “The darkness clouded where her eyes tried to get a good look at the beast. He was huge. A part of her scared but she held her stance feeling it wouldn’t harm her even though it tore two men apart coming to her rescue.” Oliver sits on the bed as Felicity’s facial features animatedly help tell the story. “She needed to touch his coarse muscles. Muscles she has never seen on a mere man before. The medic in her saying it was for practical medical knowledge. The red-blooded woman knowing it was for her own cardinal desires.”

“Well at least she likes a side of him enough.” Oliver states.

“Oliver, she isn’t describing Jonah at all.”

“Huh?” Now he is lost. “Okay then who is she describing?”

Felicity flips the page and reads out loud again, “Within the darken walls as the raging werewolf hiding in the shadows from the doctor are both alerted to the authorities heading their way the beast makes a brave jump to escape. Fleeing as fast as it could run until the beast grew tired and the mortal flesh began to overwhelm and make the creature lure in stillness as its frame became petite and a woman emerged. Yet again, protecting Lorrelle from a vicious attack.”

“Oh! Why did Lorrelle think that Meglaine was Jonah? I mean she still doesn’t know Jonah is a werewolf?”

“No, she doesn’t think he is a werewolf. She thinks he is to conceited to be the wolf even if she likes him and she’s seen the werewolf and Jonah at the same time. She doesn’t like Meglaine. Thinking that she is a threat to her growing relationship with him.”

“Yet it is the woman she dislikes who saved her this time.”

“Exactly, she does that because she cares for Jonah a lot you know in that platonic way.”

“Platonic huh?”

“Yes.” She gives Oliver a look. “Lorrelle is the heroine of the story, it’s her he will fall in love with.”

“Come on you can’t really believe that.” Oliver shakes his head at the woman who could play that once upon platonic friend but in reality, the course of their lives was meant to be more, become more. “I’m reading it all differently but I’ll let you continue reading and you can tell me when it shows the true path.”

“Oh, really and what do you think will happen?”

“Jonah will realize it is Meglaine that he is in love with.”

“Sure! Like the author would setup an elaborate story for Lorrelle and Jonah to becoming lovers only for him to realize a woman he barely has any significant care for is the one he really loves.”

“Yep.”

“Oh, go get me my granola and be on your merry way.”

“Yes, ma’am. But don’t count the heroine off so soon. It seems Meglaine will do whatever it takes to protect the people she loves. If Jonah presumably loves Lorrelle the woman who truly loves him doesn’t want to see him hurt. Evening protecting someone who brings pain to her heart.”

“Sure. You are such a sap sometimes.”

“For you always.” He gives her a kiss and heads to get her a small snack to begin their daily routine once again.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Days later…

Felicity wakes up to an abundance of little squeals from Oliver’s side of the bed as her eyes adjust to the little light coming into the room, she notices Frida’s head just over her belly. Oliver always leaves the hallway light on when he leaves for his morning run enough that it won’t disturb her sleep but enough so she doesn’t need to reach for the lamp to see her footing.  

“What do we have here?” She doesn’t need to move much to know that all the puppies are on the bed with her. “You’ve been a busy mama this morning.” She pets Frida’s head as the girl happily makes a low-pitch content moan.

They found out last night the previous dog owner passed away and the dogs were with him on his unfortunate accident. They became strays shortly after laying with their dead master for as long as they could. Wandering off into the seclusion of part of the regional woods near their home. The son of the deceased wants his dad’s dogs or a nice payout. Their prized possessions he intends to sell them. The man is not privy to the puppies’ existence nor will he ever be. Oliver has offered the man a decent bid for them both. He can’t see Fido and Frida split up and he really wants to change their names. As of this morning, they are proud dog owners.

Felicity did tell her husband once they wormed themselves into his heart, he would never be able to let them go. They will have to decide on the puppies’ perfect names later in the meantime they get all these fluffy balls to play with. At least the canine family is intact and no selling is in the immediate future Frida and the mistress of the house can have their young in peace.

They’ve talked about dog names and as simple as it was to both agree easily on human names like Lucas or Mia for their own child it has been the opposite for the little pups. Oliver calls out different names for Fido trying to see what name fits but nothing has stuck so far. Felicity thinks as they’re out running her husband is probably trying once again. She shrugs and is quite fine for now having a blast calling them all different cutesy names until maybe some stick.

Turning the bedside lamp on she squints a little and Frida moves to lay beside her and make time for her little ones to feed. Grabbing the book, she still has to finish. Her investment in time has been to the pups they are so adorable. With only a few more chapters left she wants to see how Lorrelle will take to finding out the man she’s been seeing is actually a werewolf.

Flipping to the bookmarked page she starts to read.

“Oh.” Felicity says as she reads the line that Meglaine gets shot saving the doctor once again. “Why does that doctor always have to put herself in dire situations? Jonah told her to stay away. Sheesh.” Annoyingly flipping the page to see Lorrelle run into Jonah’s arms weeping. He seems lost a little stunned that his friend most likely will die when he purposely pushed her away thinking she was jealous of his happiness.

Felicity closes the book with tears in her eyes. She didn’t think Meglaine dying would hit her so hard. It is just a fictional character but Felicity wants to know more about this endearing werewolf who captured her heart. She knows the backstory of the lead characters of the story but this wonderful bright woman she needed more of. How could the author of this story short change the reader? Now fulling crying making Frida howl in mock pain to.

“Felicity!” Her name shouted as Oliver runs through the living room to check up on his wife. His breathing heavy expecting the worst but as he comes to a halt, he sees Frida anxiously rubbing herself on his wife. “What is going on?” He looks at the three puppies and back at his wife who is still crying and wiping at her face. “Let me get the tissues.” He’s out of the room for a mere moment as he gets back with a box and hands her a few. “What happened?” Sitting by the edge of the bed near her waiting for an answer.

“Meglaine is probably dead.”

“What? Who?” It dawns on him quickly as all the conversations they’ve had about these werewolves. “Hey, hey. It’s just a story. Are you sure?” He wants to sound comforting at least.

“She was shot with a silver bullet.”

“I’ve been shot a few times myself and I’m still here.” He knows he shouldn’t joke but it slipped from his lips anyhow.

“That’s not funny Oliver!” She sniffling trying to control her tears.

“So, the story is over? She died?”

“Um… No! I closed the book and broke down I don’t think I can read any more.”

“Felicity, honey. If you don’t finish, you’ll never know.”

“Better than knowing she dies; she was my favorite and I didn’t know much about her.” She lets out a sniffle. “Jonah never apologized for telling her she’s basically a pest. How can he be so dense?”

“I don’t know honey.” He kisses her forehead. “Are you okay? If you need me to sit here with you for a while…”

“No. Go take your shower, I’ll be okay. You know how easily I cry nowadays I’ll be fine.”

“Okay then, after I’ll make us some breakfast. Sound good?”

“When doesn’t food sound good?” She is almost always famished. He pecks her lips and looks at the family on the bed. “I’ll come and collect these three shortly.” She nods as she turns to give them her attention. Surely these fur balls will help her dreary mood after having her heart torn out from reading.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Frida makes a whiny sound not wanting Felicity to get out of bed. “Okay, I know my belly is a nice pillow but I need to pee.” Finding herself rolling slower off the bed than usual just to be mindful of the three little squirming babies on the bed. Oliver let them stay a little while longer as she begged him while being overrun by yapping balls of delight. He rolled his eyes at the antics but left her to play as he went to make breakfast.

Once her two feet are planted on the rugged floor, she makes small slow strides towards the bathroom wishing that soon she’ll have her daughter in her arms. Just as that thought enters her mind, she feels a popping sensation with some fluid running down her legs.

His voice just a few feet but with a wall between them. “Felicity, you better not have left the bed unescorted.”

He stops in the hallways as an unrecognizable look on her face practically has him start the slow-motions of processing what he thought he was ready for. Everything they have been taught the whole process foreign yet very familiar because he has practiced this moment over and over even to the point where his wife gave him an ultimatum to stop or she’d smother him in his sleep. He didn’t take her threats serious enough with her hormonal dismay of how much his hoovering faux labor drills could annoy her and landed up with some bruises, she wallops a good fisted grip. Yep he learned personal boundaries quick while still remaining the doting husband while making sure everything was set for this moment.

“I think we are having a baby.”

This is it. He’s already on the phone calling the certified midwife as he’s helping Felicity back into their room. Leaving the phone on speaker as he grabs the special sheets to place on the bed just under the comforter as his wife places each puppy onto the box Oliver brought into the room to collect them before making breakfast.

Everything is on autopilot. Locking the excited dogs in a special room that has the door reinforced just for such occasions as he makes sure everything is sanitized as he follows a list of things that is recommended. The contractions are mild but he knows it can be a long labor just as easy a short one.

He is a mess of nervous it ranges from excitement to all these crazy what-ifs that just keep dawning on him. He just can’t wait to meet Mia. Making himself breathe in and out before joining his wife. He doesn’t need her to feel his all over the place energy so he tries to calm down and lucky for him he hears a set of tires coming down the private drive and he heads to meet the woman after he calls out to Felicity telling her that their helper is here.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Felicity knows that soon she’ll be meeting her baby girl and excitement washes over her. They… She planned a natural birth due to keeping a low profile and she doesn’t think using an epidural would be wise with how her chip in her back is situated. Dr. Schwartz did recommend their midwife if that is the route they were taking so here she is now pacing in her room when Oliver would rather have her off her feet. Being stuck on the bed isn’t what she needs so she’ll continue pacing until Abigail tells her it is time to lay down.

Insistent on wearing a sweater even with how both Oliver and Abigail tell her that she’ll be uncomfortable Felicity is insistent on wearing the red comfy shirt keeping the autumn chill from her bones.

Being fully dilated in such a short time span a joke’s made that Mia Smoak Queen is as impatient as her parents.

Felicity is to wrapped up in breathing and listening to Abigail as they work to have little Mia join them. Oliver is right there holding her hand and leaving small kisses on his wife’s head as she’s miraculously having his baby. He loves her so much and being here is the only place in the universe he wants or needs to be. His heart is full of such happiness that a part of him wants to burst and maybe when his daughter is finally here tears may soon follow as his world is complete. A dream of his fulfilled.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much. I’ll love you even more when this baby’s out of me.”

With that he can’t hold his impassive face from showing happiness at how she can pull a smile from him on a moment’s notice.

Moments more of breathing and pushing has them welcoming their baby girl. He is holding his squirming child as the rest of birthing practice is happening and when he gives the child back he gets to cut the umbilical cord right after the baby is weighed and cleaned. Oliver is back at his wife’s side as Abigail finally gives the beautiful baby to her mother. He can’t contain his happiness as he watches how Felicity looks down at their blessing.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Days later when things are calmer, Oliver doesn’t know how much Fido and Frida will take to Mia but he’s prepared as both are leashed and ready to leave the room. These two have been scratching at the door with intermediate howls that it has been a miracle that Mia hasn’t cried because of them.

The little swaddled princess comfortably in her crib as the two dogs sniff her scent. Felicity is observing from the wooden bench by the window smiling wildly at the scene. She’d never thought the sight of Oliver Jonas Queen a man whose reputation proceeds him is in total serenity showing his daughter to their pets. Two wolf-hybrids that will most likely be overprotective of this precious child and in helping ease Oliver’s mind of the ground’s security.  Who would have thought the Queens would find themselves in a town having a beautiful daughter and being surrounded by fluffy greyish white balls of energy? Not her in a million years if you asked her seven, five, or even three years ago she’d call you crazy.

Now she is married to the love of her life and has two large breed of dogs that already wormed themselves into her own heart. Snow and Luna both named by Oliver and his wife couldn’t be happier with the names. ‘A blanket of snow and how the moonlight hits across Luna’s eyes making it magical.’ Those were his words as he’d been appreciating all the little things once again. For now, cut off from the world and he’s like a little kid with them at times and it’s almost like a dreamlike moment.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

With Oliver busy with the dogs and installing cables to give his wife the technological setup she desires. It has been a struggle being without reliable connection and soon she’ll be able to setup something that if Oliver does leave to help with Team Arrow business again she’ll be able to completely be in her element and help them stay safe.

Now with her family busy it gives Felicity a moment to finish the book. Her lower back bothering her since Mia’s delivery she been basically bed bound still busy working on her company with her trusty notepad, Oliver doesn’t even bat an eyelid on her technical stubbornness as long as she allows herself healing time and doing those physical therapy sessions by his side he’s okay.

Placing the book on her lap, she’s been dreading to finish but her husband is right that she’d be bothered if she doesn’t see the journey of Jonah, Lorrelle, and Meglaine through. Bringing a big box of tissues this time she is ready as she flips to the last page she read. “Okay. Here goes.”

‘Meglaine lies prone as the bullet is withdrawn from her upper chest cavity. Whispers in the hallway outside the makeshift surgery room seem sullen as one of their own may die tonight. No one knows why she saved the doctor. As Lorrelle became more ingrained into Jonah Wilde’s life his friendship with Meglaine dwindled he still leaned on his friends help in his endeavor but things weren’t serene. Some within their circle mused that she was madly in love with him and would do anything to make him happy others saw that the quirky girl just kept her oath to protect the clan from outsiders doing her best to keep humans from finding out of their existence.’

Felicity just moved the pages along it was clear the author was dragging Meglaine’s death to push Jonah to understand that he needs to tell Lorrelle who he is. Needing her to save one of his clansmen. Sighing audibly at the likely outcome she partly jumps when she hears Oliver’s voice.

“Hey honey, I brought you a snack. How’s the reading coming along?” Looking at her disappointed face. “That good huh?”

“My girl’s death is being dragged out and its really bumming me out.”

“Well Mia’s still asleep and the dogs are basically sun bathing so how about I read to you?”

“You’d do that?”

“For you, you must know by now I’d do anything for.” He moves the plate to sit comfortably on her lap and takes the book after she points to where she left off. Reading a few paragraphs, he can see where the story is heading and its nothing like what Felicity has painted. Jonah is truly in conflict there is a reason he hasn’t told Lorrelle his secret and it’s because not even he realized it until holding Meglaine’s limp hand in his. The woman dying needs more than the healer in his clan who isn’t really a professional medic. Oliver sits on a side chair by the window letting his wife enjoy the snack while he reads.

‘Dr. Byrde slowly enters the makeshift medical room slowly a little horrified that the patient isn’t in a hospital. Realizing now that it was… no is this woman that saved her from the evil man’s clutches witnessing the bullet meant to silence her take out her savior.

“Alright let’s get to work. I’ll need some assistance, anyone who has medical knowledge. I also need you out of here.” She looks at Jonah pained expression of wanting to be here. “Jonah, please step outside. Let us do the best we can, please!”

He nods and backups slowly but before leaving begs. “Please save her. Please save my friend’s life.” In that moment Lorrelle knew that the leader of these people had a soft spot for this woman.

“I’ll do my best.”

It felt like a lifetime as Jonah paced the packed hallways of catacombs under the city. Many who care for her are praying as others hold their stance waiting and hoping she pulls through. Meglaine has reached so many of her clan with grace, humility, hope, and strength that brought a togetherness that the possibility of her no longer being among them holds a certain sadness.’

“You do see where this is heading?”

“Alright she probably doesn’t die.”

“Probably? Hmm Hmm.”

“Jonah doesn’t love her.”

“Jonah doesn’t fully realize he loves her. There is a difference.”

“Like what? Like you and I difference?”

“Well…” Oliver let’s out. “That isn’t entirely true with us. I like to say I knew for sure by the moment with the Count but I tried so hard to fight it for some silly notion of protecting you from me.”

“How did that go?” Felicity moves the finished snack plate to the side as Oliver slides onto the bed. 

“Is that your way of rubbing it in? That we could have all this sooner?”

“Nope. We weren’t ready than. As much as it pains me we had a few more bumps in our road before we got here.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Gosh I love you so much.”

He sighs happily as the get comfortable and he moves the book to a good spot to continue reading. Meglaine pulls through and as Oliver thought Jonah realizes his love for his friend. Boasting to his wife that he was right and Felicity just rolls her eyes. Just typical the man found love and with such knowledge that everything in his world just makes sense.

With the happy ending in the first edition of the book series Felicity can’t wait to read how Jonah and Meglaine relationship blossoms. Oliver even spoiled it by sneak peaking at the third and final book that their love produces some pups. Yes, she can’t wait to read the rest of the series.

As for their own love. They know their hearts belong to each other and whatever life hands them they know love can conquer all.

The end!

Thanks for reading! :)

[elisajdb]

Life With You: XVIII

Part Eighteen:

 Alone: Gohan

   This was the worst week of Son Gohan’s life.

 How could so many bad things happen to him when he’s only four years old and all in one week? What did he do to deserve this?

 The week started off happily with Gohan having breakfast with Mommy and Daddy, playing, reading, and having lunch with his parents before leaving with Daddy to visit Daddy’s friends. The new people Gohan met were nice.  All was well until a bad man appeared, claiming he’s Daddy brother and Daddy’s an alien.

 The new word was foreign to the four year old but from what he understood, alien meant Daddy was born on another planet. The bad man said Daddy was sent to Earth as a baby and Daddy was supposed to do bad things.

 That wasn’t Daddy. Daddy didn’t do bad things. He did good things. Daddy saved the world. Daddy helped people. Daddy won the World Martial Arts Tournament and was crowned strongest man in the world. No one could defeat Daddy but this bad man knocked Daddy down with one strike. Seeing Daddy crumple to the ground, crying in pain, scared Gohan. When he tried to go to Daddy, the bad man grabbed him and told Daddy he had to kill a hundred people. The bad man took him away but Daddy and the man he knew to be Piccolo came to rescue him.

 Daddy and Piccolo weren’t strong enough to stop the bad man. In the alien’s ship, Gohan heard Daddy screaming in pain. It made Gohan sad then angry. He didn’t like this bad man hurting his Daddy. Gohan wanted to hurt him. Somehow he broke out of the alien’s ship and summoned enough strength to attack the bad man. Daddy told him to run but the bad man hit him before he could. Everything went black after that. When Gohan woke up, Piccolo told him the horrible news: Daddy died saving him, he will have to fight two aliens coming to Earth in a year and he had to live outside alone for six months. To Gohan’s horror, Piccolo flew away ignoring his pleas to stay, tell him where to find food, where he will take a bath and where he could find a bed to sleep in.

 Piccolo. He yelled, threatened to slice his throat and even threw him towards a mountain just to show he had great power hidden in him. Couldn’t have there been a better way for Piccolo to show he had this hidden strength? Mommy and Grandpa were right about Piccolo and Daddy was wrong.

Once a month, Gohan and his parents visited Grandpa at his castle. Gohan loved visiting Grandpa. He was so nice and always had gifts for him. His home was huge, too. Gohan would get lost if he wasn’t accompanied by his parents or his Grandpa when he wanted Gohan to spend a weekend alone with him. After dinner, Gohan sat between his parents on the sofa listening to Grandpa share tales of his youth. Somehow topics changed to King Piccolo which led to Daddy telling Gohan of his fight against King Piccolo’s reincarnation at the World Martial Arts Tournament.

 “And then Piccolo grew over fifty feet tall! He towered over all of us like that lizard in that movie we saw.” Daddy wailed his arms excitedly. “My heart was pounding. I was shaking! It was great!!”

 Gohan’s eyes grew wide. He knew of the movie and the monster his Daddy talked about. This Piccolo that fought his Daddy was a giant! “What did you do next, Daddy?”

 “I jumped around the ring a lot. Piccolo tried to squash me like a bug. He knocked me down a few times, but I got back at him.” Daddy was on his feet acting out the story as he told it. “I kicked Piccolo behind his knee and he fell on his butt.” Gohan put hands over his mouth giggling at the image. “Then I grabbed Piccolo’s finger and threw him to the other side of the ring. Boom! The whole area shook.”

 “Yay!” Gohan clapped enthused.

 “Heh. Heh,” Daddy chuckled. “Your Pops was feeling pretty good about himself, Gohan. I tossed Piccolo to show him his size didn’t scare me. I told him I would be in real trouble if he grew bigger. Wouldn’t you know it; Piccolo grew even bigger!”

 Gohan gasped, “Why did you tell him that, Daddy?”

 “Because your Daddy is a brilliant actor,” Mommy intervened. “Daddy only said that so Piccolo could grow bigger so he could climb in Piccolo’s mouth and free Kami.”

 “Ah, ChiChi!” Daddy nearly stomp his foot. “I wanted to tell Gohan that.”

 Mommy didn’t look happy. “That’s enough stories about your fight with Piccolo, Goku. I don’t want Gohan to have nightmares.”

 “Ah,” Daddy waved off Mommy’s concerns. “Gohan knows there’s nothing to be scared about. I beat Piccolo.”

 “I don’t want our son thinking about that monster,” Mommy repeated. “He’s an awful demon and he’s still out there. I still haven’t forgotten what he did to you.”

 “I have to agree with ChiChi on this, Goku,” Grandpa jumped in. “King Piccolo was very evil and destructive. He held the world hostage. Many people were killed because of him. It’s great you stopped his reincarnate but if you hadn’t, we would be living the terror of King Piccolo once again. We might not be alive right now.”

 What Grandpa said was scary but Daddy shrugged it off with a laugh. “Nah. Piccolo ain’t like King Piccolo.”

 “How can you be sure?” Grandpa asked.

 Daddy was quiet for a moment as he thought of an answer. Gohan noticed his Daddy’s smile turn to a frown before he settled besides Mommy. “I just know.”

 Gohan noticed Mommy grabbing Daddy’s hand. “That’s enough talk about Piccolo tonight. We should get Gohan ready for bed.”

 Gohan eventually learned the outcome of the fight. While Daddy wasn’t scared of him, Gohan understood why Mommy and Grandpa was scared of Piccolo. In his little time with the green man himself, Gohan thought Piccolo was very scary.

He was mean, too, leaving Gohan alone to be chased by dinosaurs where he wind up on a cliff with only sour apples for dinner. He still didn’t understand where the apples came from. There wasn’t an apple tree on the cliff. Later, Gohan remembered staring at the full moon (it was the first one he’s ever seen) and the next thing he knew it was morning, he wore new clothes, had a sword and didn’t have his tail anymore.

 Gohan had no idea where he got new clothes, a sword or how he got off the cliff. He tried to think of what could’ve happened but the wildness of this place never stopped. Even early in the morning, animal life was teeming and dangerous. He was chased by an alligator and a sabretooth wanting him as their breakfast. While struggling to keep alive from them, he was grabbed by a large bird who got in a fight with a flying dinosaur. He broke free from the bird but plummet several feet from the sky. Even though the soft sands he crashed on were soft, the impact was hard. Gohan didn’t have a chance to collect himself before the ground opened up under him to pull him underground where he encountered a robot trapped below for decades.

 Two days befriending a robot gave Gohan temporarily companionship and shelter but when their short time ended it left Gohan wondering two scary things. What if his mother couldn’t find him? What if he had to take care of himself until Piccolo returned?

 Don’t even think of escaping. This place is surrounded by desert. A world of death makes this place look like a paradise.

 With Piccolo’s threatening words, Gohan was too scared to leave this area. Wherever he was, it was huge to be surrounded by a desert. It would take time to explore this place but Gohan already knew from what he seen, this area had different geological makeup. The outer areas was surrounded by desert but traveling inward where he was now, Gohan found himself in lush green that weren’t far from the rugged, mountainous region Piccolo left him in. Here, there were trees and bushes that grew berries and fruit; there was a waterfall that poured into a lake that were plentiful of fishes. This area reminded Gohan of the forest near his home. Gohan didn’t know where he was but knew he was miles away from home. If he was near home, Mommy would’ve found him by now. He also doubted Piccolo would’ve dropped him near home. He was adamant Gohan stay here until he fought the Saiyans.

 Don’t even think of escaping. This place is surrounded by desert. A world of death makes this place look like a paradise.

 Piccolo’s word made it too scary to leave but that was a good thing Gohan reasoned. If he stayed in the same spot, it would make it easier for Mommy to find him. Until then, this area will be his home. He had fresh water, access to fruit, meat and plenty of caverns to seek shelter in.

 Trying to make the best of a rotten situation, Gohan decided it was time to get some food. Until Mommy came, he will have to feed himself. When he and Daddy went camping, Daddy loved to hunt fish. Gohan never did it himself but he remembered watching Daddy.

Gohan stood with his father at the edge of the lake. It was dinner time and with ChiChi at home, it was left to Goku to get them something to eat on their camping trip. ChiChi did pack some food but Goku wanted something more than what ChiChi packed.

 “But Mommy made food for us.” Gohan pointed to the packed containers of food ChiChi packed with their camping gear.

 Goku laughed as he pulled off his shirts. “Mommy’s spoiling us. Don’t worry. We’ll eat those but when you go camping, you don’t bring your food. You eat what’s out here.” He pulled off his pants. “Get undressed. I’ll show you how I bring fish home for you and Mommy.”

 “Okay.” Gohan undressed and followed his father in the lake. There were plenty of fishes in the lake of different sizes. Goku was a fast swimmer but he slowed his pace so Gohan could keep up with him.

 Gohan observed his father swim towards a large fish. He saw his Daddy punch the fish, grab the tail and signaled Gohan to swim to the surface. Once out of the water, Gohan dressed and watched in awe of his Daddy placing the large fish on a long, thick branch. The fish was four times Gohan’s size. He couldn’t imagine lifting it but his Daddy lift it as if it were paper. Daddy was so strong and amazing. Instead of rubbing sticks together, Daddy shot something from his hand to heat the sticks. It created a fire immediately. Gohan wondered if his Daddy will show him how to do that one day.

 As he dressed, Goku said, “While the fish cooks, I’ll show you how to find other foods out here. There’s plenty to eat.”

 Gohan rushed to their tent. He rummaged and came out with an empty bowl. Gohan noticed his father looking down at him curiously. “We need something to hold the food, Daddy.”

 Goku rubbed the back of his neck. “You might not always have that, Gohan. What would you do then?”

 Gohan thought for a moment. “I’ll use my hands.” He grinned. “But since I have a bowl, I don’t need to.”

 Goku patted Gohan’s head, smiling fondly at his son. “Mommy said the same thing to me when we went camping. All right,” he gave in. “We’ll do it your way today but tomorrow, I’m gonna show you how you can make your own bowls.”

 As father and son searched the forest for food, Gohan asked, “How did you create fire with your hands, Daddy? In my books, you rub sticks together to create fire.”

 “Rubbing sticks together is one way of doing it, Gohan. I did it myself when I was your age before I learned how to us my Ki.”

 Gohan looked up at his Daddy. Ki? Another new word he had to learn. “Can you show me?”

 Gohan noticed the smile on his Daddy’s face turn into a frown. He was going to ask what was wrong but his father smiled again and told him. “Maybe when you’re older. Come on. Let’s find some food.”

 The further they traveled the forest the more Gohan wondered where he and his Daddy were gonna find food. Gohan only saw trees and plants so far. “If you’re hungry and outside, Gohan, there are foods you can and can’t eat. I lived alone for years and survived by eating food out here.”

 “What about your Mommy and Daddy?” Gohan asked. His father turned to him wearing that same frown again. “Didn’t you live with your Mommy and Daddy like Mommy lived with Grandpa?”

 Goku knelt to Gohan’s level. “No, I didn’t live with Mommy and Daddy, Gohan.” He shrugged, unsure how to explain. “I don’t even remember them. I don’t know what happened to them. I lived with my Grandpa, your Great Grandpa, the man you’re named after.”

 “He died though.” Gohan recalled hearing his parents tell him that. “So, you lived alone? Without Great Grandpa? Without a Mommy or Daddy?”

 “Yeah….” he said slowly, “but it was okay.”

 Gohan threw his arms around his Daddy’s neck. He was young but he knew enough to know it was not okay. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sorry you didn’t have a Grandpa anymore. I’m sorry you didn’t have a Mommy or Daddy to cook you yummy meals or to play with like you and Mommy do with me.”

 Goku slowly wrapped his arms around Gohan returning the hug. “Ah, Gohan,” Goku whispered. “You have so much of Mommy in you.” When they parted, Goku noticed tears around Gohan’s eyes. “Don’t be sad for me, Gohan. I survived. I was happy. I made friends. I married Mommy and I had you.” He placed his hands on Gohan’s shoulders. “But know this. You won’t go through what I went through. You’re gonna have a Mommy and Daddy to grow up with. So, no more tears. Okay, Gohan.”

 Gohan’s smile returned as his Daddy wiped away his tears. “Okay, Daddy.”

 “Now let’s get some food.” Gohan followed his father, stopping a few feet later at a group of mushrooms. “See those mushrooms. Take a good look at them, Gohan.” Goku pointed at mushrooms that were shaped with wide umbrella tops and white rings on the stem. “You don’t eat these. Grandpa told me they’re poisonous and you can die from them. I didn’t listen to Grandpa and ate a bunch because I was really hungry. I was sick for a day.” He pointed to another set of mushrooms. “Don’t eat these. I ate them and threw up everything I ate that day. Grandpa told me not to each those either.”

 Gohan frowned at his father. “If Great Grandpa told you not to eat them, why didn’t you listen?”

 Goku rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel an awkward blush on his cheeks. “If you tell me to not do something, I have to do it to understand why I’m told not to do it.”

 That didn’t make sense to Gohan.

 “You’re smarter than Daddy, Gohan. Listen to others. At least listen to others that care about you.”

 “Like you and Mommy?”

Goku nodded. “Like me and Mommy.” They resumed their search for food until Goku stopped Gohan at another set of mushrooms. “What do you think of those, Gohan?”

 Gohan stared at the mushrooms. They were different from the ones his Daddy showed him. They were shriveled with odd spots on them. Gohan took a stick and poke the mushrooms. “It looks weird and mushy.” Gohan made a disgusted face. “I don’t like them.”

 Goku grinned. “Good because you shouldn’t eat them. They’re old and rotten.”

 “Did you eat these, too?” Gohan said exasperated. To his relief, learn Daddy didn’t eat these.

 Father and son continued on until they came upon a group of mushrooms they haven’t seen before. “These you can eat, Gohan.” Goku crouch down by a group of round puffball like mushrooms. “They taste okay plain but they’re really good if you cook them over a fire.”

 “Like marshmallows?” Gohan chirped as he picked the mushrooms.

 “Yeah. You can eat insects, too.” Goku placed a hand on a nearby rock. He turned it over to show Gohan several critters crawling underneath. “There are plenty of choices under rocks. Avoid the ones that are hairy like spiders but eat crunchy insects like ants, grasshoppers and crickets.”

 “Ants, grasshoppers and crickets?” Gohan stuck his tongue out. “I’m not eating those, Daddy!”

 “If you roast them, they’re fine,” Goku cheerfully told Gohan but his son shook his head disgusted. “If you can’t catch a fish or kill another animal, these insects may be all you can eat.” Gohan shook his head stubbornly refusing to add insects to their meal. Goku shook his head amused as he placed the rock down. “You’re just like Mommy. She wouldn’t eat them either.”

 Father and son continued their search for food. Gohan understood while the food they eat out here wasn’t Mommy’s cooking, it was still edible. Except the insects. Under no circumstances would he eat them. 

 Gohan removed his clothes and jumped in the lake. As he swam in the lake, he saw many fishes; some his size; others as big as his Daddy. Picking one, Gohan swam to it like his Daddy did on their camping trip. Gohan punched the fish with all his might. Daddy killed a large fish with one punch. Since Piccolo showed him he can destroy a mountain, Gohan thought he could kill a fish with one punch.

 He couldn’t. Gohan’s punch was weak and his hold on the fish wasn’t tight. The fish freed itself from Gohan’s grasp and swam away. Gohan started to go after it but need for air had Gohan swimming to the surface.

 “Guess I’m not good at this like Daddy,” Gohan pouted after taking in heavy breaths. Inhaling deeply, Gohan dove in the water again. He couldn’t find any small fish and when Gohan tried to grab a big fish, it slapped Gohan’s face with its tail.

 An hour later an exhausted Gohan laid on the grass. He was tired, hungry and didn’t have the strength to swim in the lake again for another fish. His stomach growled loudly. Oh, he was so hungry. He had to eat something. Gohan rolled on his stomach and pushed himself to his feet. There was something he could eat.

 “Ants, grasshoppers and crickets.”

 “If you roast them, they’re fine.”

 Gohan cringed as he turned over a rock. He found an apple tree, some berries but not any of the edible mushrooms. His four year old body was too tired right now to look. It was also getting dark which Gohan found scary. He’ll have to hide in a cave soon before the night animals come out.

 Several ants crawled from under the rock. No crickets but there were a few grasshoppers. One actually jumped in his hand. Gohan’s stomach growled again. He was so hungry.

 “Ants, grasshoppers and crickets.”

 “If you roast them, they’re fine.”

 Maybe he can roast them tomorrow. Tonight, he’ll eat them raw. Gohan scooped a handful of ants in his small hand. Several crawled over his hand and up his arm. The grasshopper stared at Gohan. His antennas wiggled at him. Gohan gulped.

 “Ants, grasshoppers and crickets.”

 “If you roast them, they’re fine.”

 Closing his eyes, Gohan stuffed the handful of ants and grasshopper in his mouth. He didn’t think. He just swallowed and pretended he wasn’t eating ants and grasshopper. He followed that up by stuffing berries in his mouth to drown out the sound of crunchy insects.

 Gohan sniffled as he laid on the ground of the cave he called home. It’s been five days and Mommy still hadn’t found him yet. She needed more time Gohan told himself. She’ll find him. He wished she’d come soon. He created a warm home but he wanted to be in his own bed. He wanted to eat Mommy’s meals. He still hadn’t caught a fish yet and he was tired and disgusted with himself for eating insects with fruits for the last two days. He wanted to go back in time, back to a week ago where his family were all together and happy.

 “Goku! Gohan! It’s dinnertime!”

 Gohan sat at his desk reading his picture book when he heard his mother. He could smell the yummy smells from the kitchen to his room for the past hour. He thought to finish this page and join Mommy and Daddy but his father had other plans

 “Gohan,” Goku entered Gohan’s room, “it’s dinnertime.”

 Gohan kept his eyes on his book. “I want to finish this last page, Daddy.”

 Goku closed the book. “You can finish that later.” He ushered Gohan out of his chair and out his room. “It’s time to eat. We don’t wanna be late for Mommy’s food.”

 Goku and Gohan cleaned their hands in the hall bathroom before entering the kitchen to see the dinner table laden with food. Goku squealed at the variety of dishes on the table. “It smells so good in here, ChiChi!”

 ChiChi set aside her single plate and was occupied fixing Gohan’s plates when Goku and Gohan took their seats at the table. “Thank you, Mommy,” Gohan said when ChiChi placed his starter plates in front of him.

 “You’re welcome, Gohan.” After ChiChi placed Goku’s starter plates before him, she took her seat at the table. After a prayer, the family of three ate their dinner.

Mommy’s food was always delicious. As much as Gohan loved his Mommy’s food, it didn’t match Daddy’s love for Mommy’s cooking. He ate loudly and quickly, ignoring the few times Mommy told him to slow down. Sometimes Daddy ate Mommy’s food so quickly, he almost choked.  

 ChiChi would start cleaning dishes after she finished her plate. This left Goku to refilling his and Gohan’s plates until they finished their meals. Once all the dishes were empty and their bellies full, Goku and Gohan sat at the table talking while Chichi cleaned up. When she finished, the family of three entered the living room for family time. ChiChi relaxed on the floor while Gohan carefully pulled out the board game left intact from last night.

 Goku sat opposite of ChiChi and Gohan. He fiddled with the metal pieces on the board game. “Which one am I again?” He touched the thimble metal piece. “This hat? Do I go first?”

 “It’s a thimble, Daddy, and that’s Mommy’s. You’re the racecar.” Gohan corrected his father. “It’s Mommy’s turn. I was the last one to make a move last night.”

 ChiChi grabbed the dice, shook it and toss it on the board. She moved her piece relieved when she stopped, she wasn’t on anyone’s properties. “Your turn, Goku.”

 Goku grabbed the black and white dice, shook it and tossed it on the board. “Five.” Goku moved his racecar five spots. He landed on a spot with a question mark. Knowing that means he picks from the stack of orange cards on the board, Goku did so and read the card. “Go to jail?” he frowned. “But I didn’t do anything bad?”

 “It’s a game, Goku,” ChiChi told him. “You picked the wrong card.”

 “Yeah, but bad guys go to jail. I’m not a bad guy.”

 “Actually, you are.”

 “Whaa???” Goku whined while Gohan giggled. “How am I a bad guy?”

 “You’re a tickle monster. Attacking me and Gohan the way you do is criminal.” ChiChi hugged her son close to her. “Isn’t that right, Gohan?”  

 “Uh-huh,” Gohan agreed giggling at Daddy’s annoyance. “Daddy’s bad. Go to jail, Daddy!”

 The shock of his wife and son telling him he was bad quickly gave way to a smile. If that’s how they want to be…. “Oh, I’m a bad guy because I can tickle you until you give up.”

 Gohan noticed his Daddy’s voice changed slightly. He also noticed his mother suddenly unwrapped her arms around him. “Run, Gohan.”

 “Huh?”

 Goku grinned wickedly as he rose to his feet. He stared down at Gohan and ChiChi. “If I’m a bad, I might as well go all in.”

 “Run, Gohan!” ChiChi pushed Gohan to move as she got to her feet. “I’ll hold Daddy off. Run!”

 Goku moved to go for Gohan but ChiChi jumped in front of her son, sacrificing herself to Goku. “Ah!!” ChiChi screamed between laughs as Goku’s fingers danced over her body. “Stop, Goku! Stop!”

 “Never!” Goku’s voice was evil as he tickled ChiChi. “I’m the bad guy, remember!” He eyed Gohan who giggled at his mother trying to break away from his father. “You’re next, Gohan.” Instead of running, Gohan watched amused as Goku picked up ChiChi and laid her on the sofa. He straddled and tickled her.

 ChiChi screamed and squealed as Goku’s fingers moved faster over her. “Give in. Give in to the tickle monster!”

 “Ah! No!” ChiChi squealed. She ran her fingers up Goku’s sides causing him to giggle uncontrollably. ChiChi attempted to pull away from Goku but he grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head. With his free hand, he tickled ChiChi again. “Stop, Goku,” ChiChi said in between laughs. “Stop it!”

 Goku leaned over ChiChi, his voice dropping a few octaves. “Tell me what I wanna hear.”

 “I give up,” ChiChi gasped between laughs. “I give.” Goku rewarded her with a kiss. It wasn’t a surprised to see Mommy and Daddy be this way. His parents kissed in front of him before but the kisses were quick and Daddy was never on top of Mommy like this. ChiChi pulled away. She gestured Goku to look her way. “Goku, that’s enough. Gohan’s watching.”

 “We’ll finish this later.” Gohan wondered what that meant. Goku climbed off ChiChi and turned to him. “All right, Gohan. You’re next. The tickle monster is coming for you.”

 Gohan ran out the room laughing as his father chased him. Gohan hid under his bed as his father entered the room. “Gohan.” Goku looked around as he pretended to search for Gohan. He opened his closet. It was empty. “I know you’re here. You can’t hide from me.” He pulled out the chair of Gohan’s desk. “Not here. Where could you be?”

 Gohan held his breath as Daddy turned to the bed. “Could you be under there?” Gohan’s heart pounded as his Daddy got closer to the bed. If Daddy grabbed him, it would be over. He couldn’t survive Daddy’s tickles.

 Gohan saw an opening to escape. He did so, crawling between the gap at his Daddy’s feet. Gohan crawled from under the bed, passed the V space Daddy’s stance created, got to his feet and ran out of the room.

 “You won’t get away, Gohan!” Gohan towards his parents’ room but was quickly scooped in his father’s arms and tortured with tickles. “Gotcha!”

 The tickles were relentless. Gohan couldn’t stop laughing. Tears were spilling from his eyes. “I give,” Gohan relented, breaking faster than his mother. “I give up, Daddy. Stop!”

 Goku returned to the living room where Goku gently dropped Gohan on the sofa in his mother’s arms. ChiChi held him close as they both laughed at their game. Goku sat with them on the sofa. Being in his Mommy’s arms and looking at his happy Daddy, Gohan never felt happier. For him, everything was perfect.

 Gohan stared at the fire with tears streaming down his eyes. “Mommy. Daddy. I miss you.”

  The next morning, Gohan woke up starving. After failing to catch another fish, Gohan resigned himself to eating ants, grasshoppers and crickets with berries for breakfast. Frustrated with this morning’s breakfast, Gohan wandered the vegetated land. He had to get better at fishing. He had to get better at surviving. He needed to do his part and stay alive until Mommy found him.

 Believe in your power and figure out yourself how to effectively draw out that power.

 Piccolo told Gohan this before he left. After a week alone, a week of eating insects, bland mushrooms and fruit; a week of hiding in his cave away from that pesky dinosaur who was determined to eat him; a week of crying and longing for his parents, Gohan was ready to listen to Piccolo’s words.

 Gohan understood to stay alive, to eat some meat, he had to build his strength and confidence. He decided to start small. Gohan retrieved a log of wood near his cave. Gohan unsheathed his sword. He raised the sword above his head brought it down hard to stab the log. The sword pieced the wood. Gohan raised the sword over his head and slammed it on the wood again.

 ‘Remember what Daddy told you, Gohan. Remember it all.’

 Gohan sat on the grass watching his father meticulously work. Daddy wanted to show him how to use materials of the land. Gohan didn’t understand why Daddy wanted to show him this. He rather use materials Mommy packed for them but this was important to Daddy so he didn’t complain. Daddy began the lesson by chopping off a thick log of tree with his hand. There was no way Gohan could do that. He wasn’t strong like Daddy. Luckily, there was an alternative.

 “Grandpa cut wood with an ax until he carved out a bowl like shape,” Daddy told Gohan. “I used to do it that way, too, but when I got stronger, I used my hand now to cut with enough precision until it’s smooth on the inside.”

 Gohan listened intently while watching in awe as his father turned the block of wood in one hand while his other hand glowed and cut the wood to form a perfect bowl. “Maybe one day you can do this, Gohan. Until then, you’ll have to use sharp materials.”

 “I did it! I did it!” Gohan danced around happily at his accomplishment. He made a bowl out of tree log. It wasn’t as perfect as his Daddy’s. In fact, it was crude with jagged round ends. The interior was jagged in some areas but it was durable and it could hold his food instead of Gohan carrying it all himself. “Yay! I can’t believe I did it!”

 A dark shadow hovered over Gohan. A familiar snarl behind him left Gohan’s blood running cold. He turned. The tyrannosaurus that chased him all week had found him. The dinosaur grinned; pools of drool dropped from his mouth as he crept to Gohan.

 “WAAAH!!!” Gohan screamed as he ran from the dinosaur. The dinosaur quickly gave chase after Gohan. So close. He wasn’t losing his meal this time!  

 In his haste to run away, Gohan dropped his bowl. Gohan turned to retrieve it but saw the dinosaur crush the bowl under his foot. Gohan saw his accomplishment, his hours of hard work, crumple into several pieces. The dinosaur above him laughed, not at crushing the bowl, but at the young meal he will soon eat.

 Gohan saw rage. He worked very hard creating that bowl and this mean dinosaur destroyed it. Anger rose in him. It was oddly familiar. He could’ve sworn he felt this rage, this strength build in him when that bad man was hurting his Daddy.

 Gohan was so angry. He was angry this dinosaur broke the bowl he worked so hard to make. He was angry with himself, too If he was stronger, he wouldn’t be running away from this dinosaur. He wouldn’t have dropped the bowl. Gohan unsheathed his sword and pointed it at the approaching dinosaur. “You broke my bowl!” Gohan screamed while running madly towards the dinosaur. “You’re gonna pay for that!”

 Gohan jumped on the dinosaur’s head, flipped and landed on the dinosaur’s back. He was full of rage. The dinosaur took something of his. Gohan saw it equal justice to take something from the dinosaur. The dinosaur’s tail came into view. Gohan jumped in the air, flipped and as he came down, sliced off the tip of the dinosaur’s tail.

 The dinosaur howled in pain. The dinosaur turned to roar at Gohan but jumped back as Gohan swung his sword at him. His eyes were white and full of rage. It scared the dinosaur. His meals never acted like this before. Frightened, the dinosaur ran off putting as much distance between him and Gohan as possible.

 As the dinosaur ran off, Gohan felt the rage leave his body. Blinking, his pupils returned and Gohan stared confused at the dinosaur running off. What happened? Why was he holding his sword and what happened to the dinosaur’s tail?

 “Did I do that?”

 Your power bursts loose only when your emotions are at their peak.

 “I was angry at the dinosaur for crushing my bowl. Is this what Piccolo meant?” Gohan stared at the tail. “Dinosaur’s tail,” Gohan murmured. “Meat!” His face lit up! “I can finally eat some meat!”

 Gohan took the tail and dragged it back in his cave. For the first time in a week, Gohan felt happy and confident in himself and the hidden power in him. He found another tree log and created another bowl. Gohan was so happy, he didn’t stop there. Seeing he sent a dinosaur running away, Gohan felt confident enough to finally catch a fish.

 Gohan returned to the lake, removed his clothes and dove in the water again. He followed a school of fish. He avoided the large ones and trailed behind a lone fish falling behind. Gohan kicked his legs faster towards the fish. The fish didn’t have time to react when Gohan wrapped his arms around it. The fish wiggled and squirmed in Gohan’s arms but Gohan held the fish tightly. The fish fought to live but Gohan fought to eat, fought to survive. If he couldn’t accomplish this, how could he hold on for his mother to find him?

 Gohan gasped for air once he broke the surface. Gritting his teeth, Gohan pushed himself to the edge of the lake. Once a hand touched land, Gohan tossed the fish on the grass. The fish flopped wildly as it fought for air. Gohan climbed out of the lake and collapsed on his back, breathing heavily. That was exhausting.

 But he did it.  

 “I did it!” Gohan cheered triumphantly. “I caught my first fish!”

 That night Gohan had his best dinner all week. He roasted dinosaur’s tail, fish and mushrooms on a thin stick like shish kabob over the fire. His bowl was filled with fruits of berries, apples and oranges. The mushrooms, tail and fish didn’t have his mother’s special seasoning but it was edible and a lot better than eating insects.

 ‘I can do this’, Gohan thought to himself. ‘I can survive out here until you find me, Mommy.’ 

Daddy was in pain. He could hear the screams even in this round pod he was trapped in.

 “How could I have thought you could be a warrior?” Gohan heard the bad man say.

 More screams from Daddy. The bad man was hitting Daddy really hard.

 “True warrior never hesitate to kill! Not even his own brother! Care for a demonstration?”

 Daddy’s screams were louder and more horrific. The bad man was gonna kill Daddy!

 Daddy’s screams rang in Gohan’s ears. The bad man was gonna kill Daddy. He had to stop him. He had to save Daddy. Gohan was scared he will lose him but mostly Gohan felt rage. Rage at losing his Daddy. Rage at this bad man hurting Daddy. The rage consumed him.

 Gohan felt himself breaking free of the pod he was held captured in. The bad man stood over Daddy with his foot on Daddy’s chest. Gohan flew off his feet and ram head first against the bad man.

 The bad man stumbled but he didn’t fall on the ground. Gohan felt all his rage evaporate. What happened? How did he get out here? Daddy! Gohan hurried to his father lying on the ground.

 “Daddy?”

 “Run…. Gohan,” Daddy told him. “Get away….run!”

 Gohan felt a large shadow over him. He turned to see the bad man. Something swung at him and everything went black.

 Gohan bolted awake. He sat up breathing hard and sweating. Sometimes he had happy dreams of his parents. Other times he had nightmares of the last moments he saw Daddy. He wiped away tears that occurred during his nightmare.

 ‘Stop crying,’ Gohan told himself. ‘Crying doesn’t solve anything.’

 Tears wiped away, Gohan grabbed his sword and left the cave.

For three months, Gohan stayed in the same spot. For three months, Gohan hunted fish and ate fruit and bland mushrooms. He occasionally ate dinosaur’s tail. For three months, Gohan spent his nights in the cave he called home and days happily running around playing with the animals he once feared. The sabretooth that chased Gohan daily when he arrived now ran from Gohan who happily chased him.

 Gohan was happy. He no longer feared the snakes and wild animals in the area. The thunderstorms didn’t scare him anymore. He was safe here. He was happy but there was one thing that troubled him.

 Why hasn’t Mommy found him?

 Gohan thought being in the same spot for three months, his mother would have found him by now. Daddy would’ve. Mommy always found him when he got lost in the forest. This isn’t the forest near home but that shouldn’t stop Mommy, should it?

 “Maybe…..maybe Mommy can’t find me.” Gohan spoke defeated. “Maybe Piccolo took me so far away from home Mommy can’t find me.”

 Don’t even think of escaping. This place is surrounded by desert. A world of death makes this place look like a paradise.

 That’s what Piccolo told him. Piccolo chose this place for a reason Gohan realized. Being surrounded by desert prevented him from venturing out. Piccolo’s threatening words of what’s outside this area kept Gohan here.

 “That was months ago,” Gohan told himself. “I’m stronger now.” The little boy clenched his fists and flexed his arms. His arms had gotten stronger over the months. He could run faster than before. He could jump high and down from the highest tree branches. He could subdue a fish with a punch now. He punched a boulder and while it didn’t turn to rubble, it created cracks. “Maybe I’m strong enough to escape this place and go home.”

 We need your power! You must learn to use that power and join us in protecting the Earth!!

 You hold the key to the Earth’s fate.

 Piccolo told him he will have to fight these Saiyans. He was needed to protect the Earth. If he goes home to his mother, would he return to prepare for the fight against these Saiyans? Probably not, he realized. He would be too happy to be home, eating Mommy’s food, sleeping in his bed, enjoying hot baths by Mommy and reading his books. He wouldn’t think about these Saiyans at all.

 We need your power! You must learn to use that power and join us in protecting the Earth!!

 You hold the key to the Earth’s fate.

 What if Daddy couldn’t stop these Saiyans because he wasn’t there? What if his powers were needed? If he wasn’t there, then the Saiyans will kill Daddy. They will kill Mommy and Grandpa, too. If Mommy died because he couldn’t protect her, it would crush him but it will also mean he broke his word with Daddy.

 Gohan couldn’t forgive himself if he did that.

 “It’s only for three days, Gohan.”

 Goku knelt before Gohan wiping away his tears. Goku was packed and ready for his trip. He agreed with ChiChi to be gone for three days while he got in some intense training. ChiChi stood at the door. They already said goodbye but Gohan was having a hard time letting him leave. To Gohan, three days was a lifetime.

 “But I’ll miss you.” Gohan pouted. “I want to go with you.”

 “I have to do this, Gohan. I wanna stay strong.”

 “But you’re already strong,” Gohan told him. “You’re the strongest man in the world. Mommy said so.”

 “Yeah, but to keep being the strongest, I have to train. Sometimes that means I do it for days away from you and Mommy.”

 “But why?”

 “I like being strong,” Goku admitted truthfully. “When I was kid, I wanted to get stronger for myself. Now that I have you and Mommy, it’s different now. I wanna stay strong to protect you both.” Goku rubbed Gohan’s head affectionately. “Sometimes when we do things for others, we have to make sacrifices.”

 “So, you’re training for me and Mommy?” Gohan tried to understand. “You’re making a sacrifice to be away from us to get stronger for us?”

 “Wow,” Goku was in awe of his son. “Mommy’s right. You are very smart.” At that, Gohan blushed.

 “I wanna make a sacrifice for you,” Gohan told his Daddy. “It’s only fair.”

 Goku grinned. His child was truly special. “I don’t think it works like that.”

 Gohan looked firm at his Daddy. “I wanna do it.”

 Three years old and so determined. Goku couldn’t deny his only child. “Not a sacrifice. How about a promise. When I’m not here, you have to protect Mommy for me. Can you do that for me, Gohan?” Gohan nodded firmly. “Good. Because we can’t let anything happen to Mommy.”

 Tears rolled down Gohan’s cheek. He understood a little during his talk with his Daddy. Now he truly understood what it meant for Daddy to train alone for days; how what he did was sacrifices for them. Gohan wanted to go home and see his mother but he had to make that sacrifice and not go. If he went home, he’ll forget about training for the Saiyans. He’ll enjoy his life again before Daddy’s reunion and when the Saiyans come to Earth, he would unintentionally sacrifice his mother’s life and break his word to Daddy.

 Gohan couldn’t do that.

 “Daddy’s the strongest man on Earth and I’m his son. Daddy saved the Earth when he was a kid. Piccolo said my power is needed to save the Earth.”

 You have power hidden within you that you never even glimpsed.

 Gohan wiped away his tears. “No more crying,” he told himself. “Three months I’ve done nothing but play and eat and wonder when Mommy will get me. I can’t think like that anymore. Piccolo will be here in three months to start our training. It’s time I get started. I have to protect Earth. I have to protect Mommy.”

 Time was up. Six months has passed since Piccolo left Son Goku’s son in the wilderness. If that boy hadn’t toughen up in six months, he’ll kill the child himself. That boy had unbelievable hidden power and if he hadn’t gotten some control of it by now, he’s better off dead. He would be useless against the Saiyans and it would be stupid leaving a child with such power alive because at some point he could master it and that would put a wrench in Piccolo’s plans for world domination. He’ll have to kill the child someday anyway. When he kill Son Goku, it’s only logical he had to kill his son immediately after. Only an idiot would spare Son Goku’s son and let the child grow up to avenge his father’s murder.

 “I bet Kami is watching and laughing his ass off at the irony. Me, the son of King Piccolo, who’s purpose in life is to avenge my father’s death by Son Goku’s hand, must now train Son Goku’s son against Son Goku’s own people who are coming to kill all of us in six months.”

Oh, yes. Kami was laughing.

“However,” Piccolo grinned wickedly, “there is some joy out of this. I’ll make the remake the child in my image. The child will wear my family’s name; fight in my family’s clothes. That’s sure to get under Son Goku’s skin. Heh. Heh.”

 Perhaps, he’ll get something out of this after all.

 When Piccolo found Gohan, he noticed the child’s Ki was higher than when he left him. This was promising. However, the child hadn’t managed to feel Ki through others or he would’ve noticed him hovering in the air for the last half hour.

 Below, Gohan happily chased a dinosaur. Piccolo raise a brow. It looked like the dinosaur that chased Gohan six months ago and….. did the dinosaur’s tail get shorter? Gohan jumped in the air, luring the dinosaur to crash into a mountain. With the dinosaur dazed, Gohan unsheathed his sword and slice another piece of tail. Gohan happily walked away, set fire to wood with a blast of his own Ki and cooked the slice of dinosaur’s meat.

 Piccolo was very impressed. “He seems to be getting this down. Time for the real training to begin.”

 Gohan rubbed his full belly and licked his lips. That dinosaur’s meat was really yummy. It was too bad with a few more slices the dinosaurs won’t have a tail anymore and that meant no more meat for Gohan.

 “Oh, well,” Gohan thought cheerfully. “I can still eat the fish around here.”

 Behind him, Gohan heard a flutter of a heavy cloth. He felt a strong presence behind him. Gohan stood and turned around. Gohan’s mouth fell open in shock.

 Piccolo didn’t imagine what Gohan would do when he saw him again. Perhaps he thought the child would quiver in fear of his presence for he knew the hell he will be put through. Perhaps he thought the child will burst into tears because crying and whining seemed to be all the child could do during their brief exchange.

 What Piccolo didn’t expect was Gohan to happily scream his name.

 “Piccolo!”

 The child screamed his name so loudly, so joyfully it forced Piccolo to jump back in fear and confusion. What was going on? Why was the child so happy? Gohan should be scared. He should realize it’s time for Gohan to endure the hell of Piccolo’s training camp. Or maybe the child should be solemn as he accept his fate to defend the Earth. The child should not be happily screaming his name and running to him with waving arms.

 “Piccolo!” Gohan screamed. “It’s me! Son Gohan!! I’m so happy to see you!!”

 Happy to see him? What the hell was wrong with child?

 “Piccolo!!” Gohan wrapped his arms around Piccolo’s right leg. “You came back! You didn’t leave me alone forever!! You came back like you said you would!”

 Piccolo gaped at the child startled. What was he doing? Why was his arms wrapped around his leg like this? Why was he smiling? Why was he happy?

 Piccolo pushed Gohan away from him. “What are you doing?!”

 “This is so great!” Gohan danced around Piccolo. “You came back! You came back! That must mean it’s been six months! I’m so happy you came back to me! I won’t be alone anymore! These six months have been so crazy! I was chased by dinosaurs, sabretooths, alligators and flying birds! I had to eat insects! That was yucky! I ate mushrooms! They weren’t so bad but they could use Mommy’s special seasoning! I made a bowl but that dinosaur crushed it and I had to make another one. I learned how to create fire! I learned how to jump really high like my Daddy and I learned how to land without hurting myself! Ooooo, oooo, I even punched a boulder and I cracked it. I’ve gotten so strong! I can show you right now!” The child spoke so fast and said so many words, Piccolo wondered what came over him. This wasn’t the coddled child he spoke to six months ago “But I miss my Mommy and Daddy so much,” Gohan rattled on. “I thought about them a lot and I had dreams about them, too. Good dreams and bad dreams. I had a nightmare about Daddy and the bad man….”

 The child wouldn’t stop talking. Piccolo tried to get a word in but Gohan kept going on and on what life was like for him for six months. For a being who was used to silence, hearing this jabber mouth was irritating.

 “SHUT UP!!!” Piccolo roared. Gohan clasped both hands over his mouth. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

 To Piccolo’s shock, Gohan was crying but it wasn’t tears of fear. The child had tears of joy in his eyes. “You didn’t forget me and I survived six months alone. I didn’t die of loneliness like I feared. I didn’t think I could do it but I did.” Gohan wrapped his arms around Piccolo’s leg again. “I’m so happy you came back to me. I know this means we start our training, but you being here means I’ll have someone to talk to now. I haven’t been around anyone for so long I was starting to forget how to talk.”

 Piccolo didn’t believe that. The child wouldn’t stop talking since he showed up and he was doing this strange thing of wrapping his arms around his leg. What was this? Some human thing?

 Piccolo put a hand on Gohan’s head and pushed the child away with such force, Gohan fell on his bottom. “Stop that! I don’t what the hell you’re doing so just stop it.”

 Gohan gazed at Piccolo confused. “You’ve never been hugged before? That’s really sad.”

 “Hug?” The word was alien to Piccolo.

 Gohan got to his feet. Piccolo’s odd behavior made sense now. “A hug is when you put your arms around someone and hold them against you in a gentle way. It shows you like them.”

 “Like them?” What was this child talking about?

 “Well, uh…hmmm.” Gohan crossed his arms over his chest. How to explain that? “Don’t you like anything?”

 “I’d like to kill your Dad if that’s what you mean.”

 “No!” Gohan shook his head and waved his hands frantically. He stared at Piccolo dumbfounded. “You really don’t understand, do you?”

 Piccolo didn’t understand but he was certain this child just insulted him. To his ire, Gohan giggled. “Wow. You’re just like Daddy. He didn’t know anything about hugs or kisses until he met Mommy.”

“What?!” Piccolo roared. “Don’t you ever compare me to you father! He didn’t have the decency to make you strong. He’s cosseted you since birth giving you food to eat, a bath, a bed and a home without you earning it on your own!”

 “But…..” Gohan whimpered, “I’m only four.”

 “Four?!” Piccolo threw his head back laughing. This child. How spoiled he is. “I’ve been on my own since I hatched from my father’s egg. I was three when I fought your father.”

 “Three?!!” Gohan looked Piccolo up and down stunned. “But....but….” Gohan tried to understand. This didn’t make any sense. Daddy was a man when he fought Piccolo. Gohan saw the pictures when he went to the museum. He counted the years from the last martial arts tournament on his finger. “You’re eight years old?!”

 “I am.” Piccolo had to admit the shock on the child’s face was funny. Compared to humans, it did look odd he aged faster than them but he was demon after all.

 “Are you like a dog?” Gohan suddenly asked.

“A what?!”

 “I read dogs age faster than humans. A dog that’s one in dog years is actually fifteen in human years. Two is twenty-four, three would be twenty-eight. Eight would mean….” Gohan stopped to count the numbers in his head and his hands. He looked at Piccolo astonished, “You could be forty-eight years old in dog years. That’s twice as old as my Daddy!”

 “SHUT UP!!!” Piccolo’s voice thundered so loud even birds in trees flew away from the noise. “WE ARE NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT MY AGE!!! IT’S TIME TO START TRAINING SO GET READY!!”

 Gohan jumped back. Piccolo was still scary. “Yes, sir!”

 Training under Piccolo was harder than Gohan imagined. Piccolo showed no patience or kindness. No part of his body was spared a kick, a punch or frying from Piccolo’s eye beams. From sunup to sundown, Gohan and Piccolo fought. Piccolo cursed and screamed at him to go faster, strike harder and do better for the Saiyans will be ruthless and show no mercy.

 Don’t make the same mistake as your father, Piccolo told him. Gohan wondered what Piccolo meant but he never explained.

 Nighttime was Gohan’s free time. Piccolo ended lessons at sunset. It gave Gohan enough time to catch his fish for dinner. While the fish cooked, he gathered a bowl of fruit or mushrooms to go with it before it became completely dark. Piccolo only consumed water. Gohan offered to share his food with Piccolo but he rejected him saying he only needed water.

 As Gohan ate his dinner, Piccolo decided to bring up something he noticed when Gohan caught his fish. “When did your tail grow back?”

 “My tail? I don’t know,” he shrugged as he took another bite of his fish. “I just noticed it one day. Without Mommy to put a hole in pants, I just keep it in. It’s kind of uncomfortable but I’ve gotten used to it.” Gohan happily chewed his fish. His eyes lit up as he wondered if Piccolo could help him with something he wondered about. “I lost my tail my first night alone. I woke up one morning wearing these clothes, that sword and no tail. Do you know what happened?”

 “No,” Piccolo lied. “I left you earlier remember.”

 “Oh yeah,” Gohan recalled cheerily. “That night was really weird, too. I was lying on the cliff cold and hungry when two apples appeared. There wasn’t a tree so I don’t know where the apples came from.”

 “You think I would know?” This child. He was too smart for his own good. “Your clothes.” His eyes swept over Gohan. They were torn and ragged in several places. “I think it’s time I give you some new clothes. Stand up.”

 Gohan put down his fish and stood. With a grunt and flash of his eyes from Piccolo, Gohan’s tattered rags were replaced with a replica of Piccolo’s clothes except the cape. Gohan looked over his new clothes impressed. “This is great!” Gohan tugged his pants and new top. “Wow.” He smiled at Piccolo. “It’s just like your clothes!”

 Piccolo smirked very pleased with himself. He figured it was time. After all, the kid earned it. He’s improved so much since they’ve begun training. He wasn’t crying anymore. He wasn’t whining over their training. He grew up a lot. “You look good, kid. No! Wait!” Piccolo protested. His eyes grew to saucers as Gohan suddenly threw his arms around his neck.

 “Thank you, Mr. Piccolo! I love it!”

 ‘Mr. Piccolo?’ This child and his human emotions. He should rip the child’s arms off, scream at him to never do it again but instead, he let Gohan hugged him. So, this was a hug. A smile curved his lips. Hugs were kind of nice.

 Gohan broke away. “Sorry, Mr. Piccolo.” The child rubbed the back of his neck shyly. Gohan thought Piccolo would scold him or slap him away but his teacher sat there like a statue.  

 Piccolo looked away. “It’s okay, kid. I didn’t mind the hug.”

 “Good,” Gohan sat back down and picked up his fish. “I understand hugs are strange for you. Daddy didn’t hug a lot growing up. He thought Mommy was strange for wanting to hug him all the time but he said he grew to like them a lot and kisses, too.”

 Piccolo knew he will regret doing this but he could help asking, “What’s a kiss?”

 “It’s when you press your lips against something. Like this.” Gohan demonstrated by puckering his lips and pressing it against his fish. “Mommy press her lips against my cheeks and forehead. Mommy does the same thing with Daddy but sometimes they press their lips together.”

 Piccolo closed his eyes and shook his head. He wished he hadn’t asked. “Gohan?”

 “Yes, Mr. Piccolo?”

 “If you ever try to kiss me, I’ll kill you.”

 Piccolo didn’t say many words to him this morning. After drinking water, he sat alone, arms crossed, eyes closed in intense mediation. For the first time since they began training, there will be no training this morning. It was odd to break from routine but Gohan understood why. This was the day and they were all tense.

 Yesterday, Gohan and Piccolo were in the middle of training when the skies suddenly darkened to night. Both were confused before Piccolo understood and let him know what’s happening.

 Daddy was wished back by the dragon balls. Daddy was coming home. Gohan’s eyes watered with tears but he hid them from Piccolo for he knew his green teacher would slap him and tell him to stop crying.

 However, Piccolo was too lost in his own thoughts to notice Gohan’s tears. He was troubled. “This isn’t a good thing, Gohan,” Piccolo told him. “Son Goku’s been wished back but this means the aliens are coming to Earth soon than we thought.”

 That was true. It was one month shy of the year of his Daddy’s death and aliens impending arrival but if Daddy was coming home a month early that meant Daddy was stronger and ready to fight these aliens with them.

 When the bright skies returned, Piccolo ended their training immediately. He told Gohan they will spend their remaining time resting their bodies for they needed all their strength against these aliens. Piccolo was worried but Gohan was happy. No more training and Daddy was coming home! He couldn’t wait!

 Gohan caught himself a big fish and cooked it over a fire. He was so happy! This was the last day he will eat bland fish. Tomorrow he and Daddy will be home with Mommy eating her yummy meals. He couldn’t wait to see her, hug her and eat her cooking. He knew Daddy couldn’t wait it either. Finally, after a year, their family will be together again.

 When Gohan awakened this morning, his excitement from last night was gone and his body was filled with nerves. Maybe Piccolo was rubbing off on him but he finally understood his teacher’s behavior from yesterday.

 Worry crept into Gohan. Daddy was wished back almost twenty-fours ago. Shouldn’t he be back now? Gohan remembered his Daddy telling him he used the dragon balls to wish a friend’s father back to life. Daddy didn’t say anything about waiting a day for the wish to happen. So, why was it taking so long for Daddy to come back?

 Gohan and Piccolo simultaneously jumped as if both were struck by a bolt of lightning.

 This Ki they suddenly felt. It was enormous!

 “So,” Piccolo rose. He looked in the direction both felt the massive power. “They’ve come at last.”

 This Ki was bigger than Gohan expected. The aliens were finally here.

 “How can the aliens be here before Daddy?” Gohan asked Piccolo. “Daddy was wished back yesterday.”

 Piccolo snarled. “I don’t know. What the hell is taking Son so long?”

 “Did the wish work like it should?” Gohan asked.            

 “How should I know?!” Piccolo snapped at Gohan. “I wasn’t the one who made the wish! Your father’s friends did!”

 Gohan cringed at Piccolo’s yelling. Gohan thought the times for yelling had passed but there were occasions like now that proved him wrong. He opened his mouth to apologize but was suddenly knocked off his feet as the entire area shook as if rocked by a violent earthquake. Both looked ahead at an explosion coming from very far away. Neither knew how much time passed before the shakes ended and the skies returned to their normal blue color.

 “Those damn aliens,” Piccolo cursed. “They wiped out an entire city.”

 “Huh?” Gohan gasped. An entire city. Gohan shuddered. These aliens were so strong. ‘Daddy, where are you?’

 “Gohan!” Piccolo snapped Gohan to attention. “The Saiyans. They’re coming to us. Get ready.”

 “Oh…okay.” He couldn’t help sounding nervous. He was five years old. This was his first fight and these aliens he will face just destroyed an entire city.

 An entire year went to this; defending the Earth against these two aliens. Gohan lived alone for six months. He was beaten so badly by Piccolo, he slept with cuts on his arms and legs and large bumps on his face that took days to heal. Each day he got stronger physically and mentally. Honestly, he rather be home with his books, playing with his parents and Grandpa but knew there was a purpose to this grueling year. It all went to this day. Defend the Earth. Protect Mommy. Gohan hoped he was truly ready.

 As they waited, Daddy’s friend Krillin arrived. Piccolo didn’t care for his arrival but Gohan was happy to see a familiar face. The happy reunion was cut short at the sudden arrival of two figures in the sky. Their Ki was so powerful it sent a cold chill down Gohan’s spine. These aliens. They had tails like him. They had tails like that bad man that kidnapped him.

 As the aliens descended from the sky, Gohan prepared himself for the fight that will come. It was great he and Piccolo will get help against these aliens from Krillin but when Gohan thought of this day, he didn’t imagine it would be him, Piccolo and Krillin. He thought his Daddy would be with him. With Daddy at his side, Gohan knew he could fight defeat these aliens, but without him….

 ‘Daddy, where are you?’

Part Nineteen: Alone: Goku

 AN: Since Piccolo lived alone away from society, I don’t think he would know what hugs or kisses are. He might know about human intimacy or there is some kind of mating process but since he doesn’t spend his time around humans, he wouldn’t how it’s done so I imagined Piccolo confused and very unconformable when Gohan shows his affection and treats him like a friend. In the anime, Gohan tried to return home but I stuck with the manga where he waited for Piccolo. 

[blueangelicrose]

Origins Of How You Came To Be: Chapter 1: Dreams

It was late at night when Demencia finally got into bed. After a whole fun-filled day causing chaos and havoc, and of course trying her best to flirt with her boss, Black Hat, she was finally bone tired and ready to pass out on top of her bed. She thought to herself, "I can't wait to see you in the morning my dear and darling Black Hat! We'll rule the world together someday! Just you wait and see!" As she closed her eyes and went into a deep sleep, she suddenly heard someone call her name. She then suddenly woke up! But instead of being in her room, she was in an entirely different place! She was laying in a field of multi-colored wild flowers and greenish brown colored foxtails. The sky was a deep color of fuchsia pink that was filled with puffy gold colored clouds. And when she stared straight up, the sky changed from what seemed to be daytime to night time. The top of the sky was filled with multiple beautiful dark and light colors and was filled with an endless array of twinkling stars. It was like she was staring into the heart of space itself. All of this took her breath away and she wondered where in the world she was. She swore she landed on top of her bed instead of a flower field. She then heard a beautiful and dreamy like female voice call her name once more. She then remembered. She woke up in this place after hearing this voice call her name.

She was ready to find out who brought her here. Even if it meant taking her mace to that person's face to explain why they did it and to bring her back home to her beloved Black Hat. As the voice kept calling her name and as Demencia followed where she believed where the voice was coming from, it got louder and louder until she came across a large pond. The pond was a decent size and around the edge of the pond's shores, grew cat tails and swamp reeds. She swore that she heard the voice coming from here. But all that was here was a pond, some plant life, and surprisingly a lot of white butterflies. At least, that's what she originally thought. But now that she thought about it more, the increase of butterflies was growing more and more every second that passed by. The butterflies increased and increased until her whole surroundings was completely white. In fear, she closed her eyes tightly and covered her head with her arms while crouched to the ground. She was expecting to be devoured by the insects, but instead of being eaten, all that she felt was a soft and delicate hand gently touch her arm.

Demencia then heard the soft, gentle, loving female voice call for her, "Demencia open your eyes dear. You're going to be okay. They're all gone now. Only you and I are here. And I won't let anything hurt you." Demencia opened her eyes and released herself from the fear position that she put herself in, and looked up. And there in front of her was a beautiful woman dressed in a pretty white flowing dress with a silky white shaw. She had beautiful milky ivory-like white skin, with snow colored flowing hair to boot as well. She was really tall with a slender but strong looking body built. But the most striking feature that she had was her eyes. Her eyes were a menacing shade of greenish yellow, much like Demencia's, but they looked so gentle. And the way that this woman looked at her was like the loving gaze of what a parent would give to their new born child. "Your name is Demencia, huh? It seems that my prayers were answered. You grew to be such a beautiful young woman. I've never been more proud of a mother." Demencia was confused at what she was implying. Demencia never had a mother. For what she understood from what Dr. Flug told her, was that she was, "Created in a tank full of chemicals and from spare "organic" parts from who-knows-what nightmares are made from.

"Oh, my dear girl. How naive you grew up to be. It is true that you, physically, were created in a lab. But spiritually you were, in truth, created by God's power combined with both pieces of me and your father." As the woman continued to talk, Demencia grew only more confused. The woman noticed this and breathed out a deep sigh. "It looks like I'm going to have to show you that I'm your legitimate mother." The woman then stepped back, closed her eyes, crossed her arms in the form of an "X" on her chest, and then began to glow. As she was glowing, she unfolded her arms and when she did, not only did the glowing stop, but large white wings came out from her back! They weren't angel wings but scaly reptilian like wings. The wings had glimmering crystal scales which shone like diamonds. Demencia had to control herself not to reach out and try to rip off a few scales for herself and her darling Black Hat. The woman noticed Demencia's dilemma and chuckled a sweet sounding laugh. The woman then made a face that said, "Oh sweet child! How I adore you and your efforts of trying so hard to resist your urges of temptation."

The woman then reached over to Demencia and with a slight tap on Demencia's forehead using her glowing finger, she transferred her powers over to Demencia. Demencia felt a strange sensation coursing through her body. Then suddenly, Demencia herself, began to glow. The woman instructed her to do what she did earlier, and when Demencia did exactly what she said, a pair of wings shot from her back creating an intense feeling of relief. Like she had been holding in an enormous amount of energy for the longest time and now that she had wings, it's as though all that energy had finally been released. The woman asked if she felt better now and if she liked her new wings.

Demencia made a surprised expression and turned to look at both sides of her back. And you can imagine the excited expression on her face when she was able to not only touch them, to confirm they were real, but able to physically move them like all her other limbs. Her wings were relatively small in comparison to the woman's wings and the color of Demencia's wings were that of dark green speckled with light green scales. But that was only on the hard outer edge of the wings but it was a light green color for the flaps of the wings. And just like the woman's wings, they shone and sparkled like they were jewels. Demencia was immediately attracted to them and tried to pull off some of her scales. But when she tried, it hurt her so much that she started to cry. (Which, honestly, she never thought that she was capable of). The woman started to worry about her and told her that she had used her powers to awaken Demencia's dormant dragon powers. And that it probably wasn't a good idea to pull off any newly formed scales. Mainly because it would hurt to much. It's pretty much the equivalent of a baby getting it's first tooth and just wanting to pull it out to get the adult tooth to come out. The woman said that Demencia just needed some patience, and when the time is right, then she can shed off her scales.

Demencia started to pout and mumble under her breath about how she didn't want to wait and wanted some scales now. The woman made a face that said, "What am I going to do with you?" The woman then reached over her shoulder and plucked four scales from her wings and gave them to Demencia. "I thought that you said that pulling them straight out like that would hurt! Why are you giving these to me?" The woman smiled and made a loving face and replied, "I'll endure the pain if it's for you my dear little one. And besides, it doesn't hurt me as much because 1. I was about to shed these scales and 2. I've been through much worse than something as simple as plucking a few scales. They're yours my dear. Use them however you like." The woman clasped her hands around Demencia's hands to reassure her that it was alright to take them. They stared into each other's eyes and to Demencia, it seemed like she was someone that she knew but couldn't place it in her memory of when she met her or what her name was. But she felt like she was someone dear to her and in no circumstances, can she lose her, not again.

Suddenly the ground around them began to shake and crack open. Demencia and the woman went in full alarm mode. Demencia asked the woman what was happening. The woman told her that she was waking up and that she would return to her bedroom when she opened her eyes. Demencia asked if this was a dream and if the woman was real. The woman replied that this is the dream realm and this is a dream, but the fact that she was real, her biological mother, and a dragon was indeed real. Suddenly the ground underneath Demencia gave out and she began falling into what seemed like an endless pit! As she was falling, the woman cried out to her that she will look for her no matter what and asked Demencia to please remember her even after she woke up. Demencia tried using her wings so that she could fly, but unfortunately they were still in the midst of being fully developed. So she yelled back at the woman, with her right arm and hand stretched out towards her, saying that she will definitely remember her and that she will look for her as well. As Demencia kept falling, her view of the woman was slowly starting to get fuzzy. And expecting to hit the ground, closed her eyes tightly preparing for the worst.

But when she felt like she had stopped falling, she opened her eyes. And to her relief and disbelief, she was in her room on her bed, just like what the woman said. She had woken from a strange and somewhat frightening dream and was drenched in cold sweat. And even though she had just woken up, she was totally exhausted and out of breath. "What just happened to me?! Did all of that really happen? That couldn't have happened, right? I mean, there's no way I would have a mom! The boss and Dr. Flug would've told me! Right?! Right!........ Right?" As she was questioning herself, she felt something in her left hand that she was gripping onto very tightly. She unclenched her hand and held it up to her face to see what it was. And to her disbelief, what was in her hand was four large reptilian like white and glittering scales. And for the next few hours she would be staring at them wondering what the woman said in her dream was actually true.

To Be Continued....

End of chapter 1. To be continued in chapter 2.

[therake-1996-blog]

Revelation Ch. 12

Chapter 12- Cherries

“Mommy! Can I go cherry picking with Dui?”

“Sure, dove. Just make sure you stay with him the whole time.”

“I know that, mommy, jeez.”

Two and a half years have passed since I gave birth to the second best thing that ever happened to me. Aveline has grown to be the size of either a small four-year-old or a large three-year-old, and is extremely gorgeous. Every day she looks more and more like her father. Since she is very small, she is quite fast and agile—it isn’t hard for her to keep up with me when I take her hunting, even though I don’t run at full speed. Zyglavis goes with us most of the time as well, though he goes off on his own in fear of catching her scent. He’s still semi-new, so he doesn’t want to take any chances.

Aveline also likes to scare the bejeesus out of us by climbing the tallest trees—coast redwood, mountain ash, coast Douglas-fir…basically whatever tree she can get her hands on—and scaling cliffs when we take her to the Olympic Peninsula or the Outer Hebrides. She would cliff dive if we let her.

Since she is so agile, she can jump twice the height that a normal vampire can—up to a thousand feet in the air. I can only make it a little over half that height, and Zyglavis can make it to around eight hundred feet. He very much dislikes how much of a daredevil our little girl is, but she knows she’s pretty well indestructible, so she takes the biggest of risks.

I was also correct about her ability—Aveline can see the true nature of anyone and everyone. She can see through the thickest façade; her eyes see right through everyone. The moment she smiles at someone, Zyglavis and I know we can trust that person…well, except when it comes to Leon for Zyglavis.

I watch her skip alongside Dui as they walk toward the cherry orchards the Heavens hosts, her tiny left hand in his and her right hand gripping onto a brown woven basket, swinging it back and forth.

Every day, everyone who knows her falls deeper and deeper under her charm. The other day, I walked in on her hosting a tea party with real Oolong tea and fancy looking mini cakes with Krioff and Tauxolouve. She had Krioff in a sparkly purple tutu and matching crown, and Lou had a pink feathered scarf around his neck with glittery lipstick on.

When he saw me, Krioff blushed and slunk down into his chair, trying to hide his face with his teacup. Lou, however, continued on like I wasn’t even there, drinking his tea with his pinkie raised.

“This tea is quite delicious, Lady Aveline!” He had said with a British accent. “Where did you procure it?”

“Only from the most expensive tea store in London, Sir Lou!” Aveline replied in the same accent.

“Most excellent!”

I had to leave the room so I could laugh. As touching as it was, it was also quite hilarious.

As much as I love these peaceful times, there’s always one thought that nags at the back of my mind.

Diefropos.

Zyglavis says that he’s in hiding down on Earth, and that he hasn’t been using his powers, otherwise they’d have been able to track him by now, but that’s not good enough for me. Every time we go down to Earth to hunt, every time I have Aveline by myself without him, I worry. What would happen if Diefropos got near her? What if he tried to attack her? Curse her?

Of course, I would never let that happen, but would I be forgiven if I killed a god, even if he was corrupt?

I know Zyglavis and the others are still trying to look for him, but it’s hard since he’s in hiding. And he could stay in hiding for literally thousands of years.

The coward.

Another thought pulls my attention when I let it as well; my creator. I know he’s still alive. I know he’s still out there. Sometimes when we’re on Earth, it’s like I can feel his presence. It was fine when it was just me, but now I have a family, a child, to take into consideration. I never want Zyglavis or Aveline within one hundred miles of that…that monster. I know Zyglavis would love to get his hands on the man that made my life hell for two hundred years, but like I or the king would let that happen. Besides that, Z has been around since before the beginning of recorded time. He’s too strong for Zyglavis to take, too fast. Not even I can comprehend how truly timeless that man is.

As I walk down the hall to Zyglavis’ office, I think back on the day that I was brought to the Heavens, and then I realize—that was actually the first time I ever saw him. Yes, I had been running from Z, and then…

…

It was humid and hot. Being crowded only made things worse. I was hurrying down the narrowed, busy streets of a bazar in India. There were so many interesting things for sale, people yelling and laughing, even a snake charmer, but I didn’t have time for that. I could feel him. Like he was slithering up right behind me. Like he was going to grab me at any moment, regardless of all the innocent humans around.

I pulled my burka tighter around my head, trying to conceal my face. Conceal everything but my eyes. Good thing I didn’t sweat.

I could feel the goosebumps raising against my skin, the venom swirling just underneath my dermis. My breathing came in harder and faster. It took all I had not to break out into a dead run in that busy street. I knew he was right there, right behind me. Probably smiling with those cold, dead eyes, his grey lips turned up in that awful smirk, that black, raven black hair loose and down his back, not caring if he looked out of place.

Why…? Why did he hate me so? Why didn’t he just let me die if he hated me? Was I a sport? A catch and release game? I heard someone yell out, and then, that deep voice respond in their native tongue. Shivers ran down my spine. No…No!

I was scared. So scared. Get away.

Get away, get away, get away, get away…

I sped up my walk, my eye going to the rainforest off in the distance. I needed to get out of this bazar and into the forest. Everything felt hazy, like I was moving at a snail’s pace when I was truly very well jogging through the crowded, narrow street. People bumped into me, yelling at me, but I couldn’t hear them. The mouth of the little town was so near, yet so far. So very, very far.

My foot hit the lush mossy ground, and I was off like a bullet.

I could feel him behind me. The only way I could describe his presence was like a shadow—slithering, silent, but always there, those ghostly hands trying to grab me and subdue me. And he could feel my fear, hear my breathing. He was probably smiling that sick, twisted smile, happy that I was afraid of him.

Such a fun game for him.

He liked to chase me for a little while, like a cat with a mouse, give me time to get distance, and then he’d come up fast. Back off, come up fast, back off, come up fast.

The foliage whacked at my burka and tore it from my head, ripping at my clothes and making holes in them, but I barely registered the sensations. My pumping legs ripped a long seam up the front of my long dress, and I made an effort to kick off my shoes.

And then I could feel him gaining. Venom swirled in my mouth, my lips twitching in anticipation, getting ready to bite.

I was grabbed, but the hands weren’t cold. I let out a wild snarl, and suddenly, there was a blinding, white light.

I was dropped onto a hard floor, all the wind being knocked out of me. Hissing like a feral cat, I whirled onto my feet in a defensive crouch, expecting to see Z standing in front of me, but instead I saw a man sitting idly on a throne, his wavy blond hair falling to his waist and a small smirk on his face. On either side of him where the men I would know to be Leon, Karno, Huedhaut, and Scorpio. The rest of the gods hadn’t joined yet. Confusion entered my mind.

My eyes darted around the room, looking for a threat, looking for Z, but I couldn’t find any.

“Thank you, Zyglavis.” The man on the throne said.

“Your majesty.”

I jumped, hissing at the voice right beside me. When I looked, I saw a young man who looked to be in his early twenties. He was adjusting his meticulously buttoned jacket, and he gave me a side-long glance, his eyes narrowed. His eyes were an iridescent grey. Such long eyelashes, too.

“Eden Ava James, daughter of William and Evelyn James. You are…or, were, eighteen years old when you became what you are. Your true age is two-hundred-twenty-eight. You have no coven and live on the run from your creator, whom you fear. Is this true?”

I just glared at the man on the throne. How could he have known this? I lifted my chin and took in his scent. It was…strange, to say the least. Cotton, lavender, orange-peel, lemon grass, normal scents, but then I could smell more sinister undertones. Blood, coldness, and darkness. He was otherworldly. He scared me.

“Answer him.” The man beside me commanded in a deep voice. I growled at him.

“It is true,” The other man said for me, a smile perking at his pale pink lips. “Welcome, Eden James. To the world of the gods.”    

…

I stop outside Zyglavis’ office door, my hand resting on the golden handle.

Who would’ve thought that Zyglavis, the god who pulled me from my creator, one of the five who was present when I was locked away, would’ve become my mate? Who would’ve thought he would have fathered my child? I smile to myself.

I wonder how much of this the king knew.

“Eden? Are you coming in or not?” Zyglavis’ voice comes from the other side of the door, and I chuckle.

“I’m coming in.”

…

A couple hours later, while we’re all convened in the parlor, Aveline returns with Dui, smiling ear to ear and carrying a basket overflowing with bright red cherries.

“Look, mommy! Dui helped me pick allll these cherries!”

“Wow, dove,” I say with my eyebrows raised. “You did a good job!”

“Look!” She tugs on Zyglavis’ jacket, and he smiles down at her.

“Amazing. Did you let him hold you or did you climb the trees yourself?”

Aveline rolls her eyes.

“I climbed the trees, daddy. Come on, I’m big.”

Zyglavis closes his eyes and takes a breath, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. While I pat his leg, Aveline walks over to Leon and presents him with the cherries.

“Look, Leo! I picked the best cherries! Let’s eat them!”

“Sure, Avey.” Leon says with a smile.

Beaming, Aveline sets the basket down and turns back to Zyglavis and I.

“Mommy, daddy, cherries?”

“Not for me.” Zyglavis says as he pulls himself to his feet and walks over to one of the tables to look over papers.

“Just a couple for me, my love.” I say with a smile. Aveline smiles, and takes her time, carefully picking out three plump, scarlet red cherries and carrying them over to me. “Thank you, sweetheart.” I say as I kiss her forehead. She giggles.

“You’re welcome, mommy!”

She skips back over to Leon and climbs onto the couch next to him, leaning down to pluck up one of the many fruits in front of them.

The room is quiet for a few minutes as everyone goes about their own business, Dui, Ichthys, and Teo talking amongst themselves, Karno reading a book, Zyglavis and Scorpio going over paperwork, and Leon and Aveline eating their cherries, until they start playing.

Giggling, Aveline throws a cherry stem at Leon, who gives her a look.

“Knock it off, kid,” He says as he swallows his bite.

“Mm…no.”

“Then—Ha!” Leon grabs the small cherry Aveline had in her hand right from her, and she lets out a cry. Zyglavis’ jaw clenches.

“Gimme!” Aveline says, reaching out a hand. Leon snatches the cherry away with a playful grin.

“You didn’t say ‘please’,” He says, opening his mouth and acting like he’s going to eat her cherry.

“No! Don’t! Please give me the cherry?”

“Hm,” He smiles at her, then holds it in front of her mouth. “Fine, then. Here. Say ‘ah’.”

“Ah!” Aveline opens her mouth, and Leon pops the cherry inside. Then, with a mischievous grin, she chomps down on the fruit, squirting red juice on Leon’s cheek.

“Ah! Ew! Come on, Avey, that wasn’t nice!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t withhold food from me then,” She says as she chews.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Leon chastises as he wipes at his face.

As I roll my eyes, Zyglavis slams his hands down on the table.

“Alright, that is enough!”

Everyone, including me, jumps at the harsh, booming sound as he shoves away from the table, his eyes narrowed and locked on Leon.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s up, Zig?” Scorpio asks, his expression confused.

“Get away from my daughter. Right now.” He growls at Leon, who just stares at him.

“Daddy?” Aveline whispers.

“Honey come here.”

Responding to me, Aveline climbs down from the couch and hurries over to me, jumping into my arms.

“What’s your problem?” Leon asks, his voice low. “We were playing. I know you’re uptight, but come on.” A snarl rips out from Zyglavis’ bared teeth.

“Zyglavis!” I call. “Calm down, they weren’t doing anything wrong! Aveline is two, for crying out loud!”

“That’s my point! He was being way too mature for her!”

“What? Have you lost your mind?” Leon pulls himself to his feet and goes around the coffee table, coming to stand in front of Zyglavis, who crouches, baring his fangs. “Eden is right. Aveline is a toddler. Nothing like that crossed my mind. You’re the one making things out to be what they’re not. I was playing with her, nothing more.”

“If you want to play with her, play dolls, lion.”

“Mommy…why is daddy so mad?”

“Shh, sweetheart,” I cradle Aveline closer to me, trying to keep her from seeing her father and Leon fighting.

“I do play dolls with her, you anal retentive kitchen scale,” Leon bites out. “I play with her all the time. What makes this different than that?”

“She is two!” Zyglavis’ yelling voice echoes off the tall walls. Aveline flinches. “There are some things you do not do with two-year-olds!”

“Oh, you mean I can’t feed her?”

Zyglavis shrieks a snarl at him.

“I am her father. I don’t know who you think you are, but she’s mine!”

“I understand that, but she’s just as much mine, too.”

I inhale sharply. That…was definitely the wrong thing to say.

Zyglavis finally gets physical, his fist snapping out and nailing Leon across the face, sending him back; he goes flipping over the couch, sending it careening backward, along with innocent Teorus, who sprawls onto the floor. Dui jumps in to help him to his feet, and they scurry to the sidelines.

“Zyglavis, stop!” I gasp as I jump to my feet.

“Daddy, no!” Aveline chimes in. He either can’t hear us in his rage, or he ignores us.

Leon pulls himself to his feet and backs away as Zyglavis charges him, leaving no room for escape. This mirrors the situation two years ago when I was pregnant, but this time, it’s worse.

“I don’t know what is going on in your head, you rabid lion, but you’re gonna stay away from her.”

“Zyglavis!” I cry.

Leon slowly shakes his head from side to side.

“I can’t.”

Zyglavis’ face screws up in rage, and his left fist flies out faster than anyone but Aveline and I can see, burying into Leon’s abdomen and sending him rocketing several feet back. He slams into a wall, buckling it and falling through it.

“No!” Aveline cries. I force her head down to my shoulder.

“Zyglavis, stop!” Karno yells.

“Don’t touch him!” I gasp.

However, it’s too late.

Karno claps a hand on Zyglavis’ shoulder, a deadly mistake. He lets out a frightening sound like a swarm of angry bees and grabs his hand, swinging him around and grabbing his jacket. I watch in horror as Karno’s body goes flying through the air and crashes into a stone pillar, snapping it in half; the room shudders. Unlike Leon, who didn’t make a sound, Karno lets out a cry as certain bones in his body snap, his body hitting the ground hard and rolling a few times.

“Karno!” Huedhaut and Teorus, followed by Ichthys, run over to Karno, who just lays in a heap. Leon scrambles over to him as well.

“Karno, are you alright?” He cries, pushing Teorus aside so he can get closer.

“Ugh…ow. Owwww…”

He holds his chest with one arm, his other trying to prop himself up, but he falls back down.

All of this seems to snap Zyglavis out of his fury.

“Karno…” He breathes. “Karno I’m…I’m so sorry.”

“Here.” Ichthys says. He places his hands on Karno’s ribcage, and a soft blue light slowly begins emanating from them.

“Ouch! Are healing powers supposed to hurt?” He whines.

“Sorry. You’ll feel better soon.”

I listen as Karno’s ribs snap back into place, and he winces, then a look of relief crosses his features.

“Ah. That’s better. Thank you, Ichthys.”

Leon slowly pulls himself to his feet, turning to look at Zyglavis.

“Look,” He says, lifting a hand. “You know me. You may not like me, but you know me. I would never purposely hurt anyone…especially her. I love her, Zyglavis, just like you do. All I want is help keep her safe and happy. Is that so bad? You’re a good father, Zyglavis, but try to trust other people more.” Zyglavis listens silently, his jaw clenched tight and his hands balled into fists. Aveline peeks out from under my hair, and locks eyes with Leon. “And trust Aveline’s judgement, too. Remember her gift. Remember she’s special. And remember this…Aveline is the center of my universe. She’s my reason. Always.”

Zyglavis stares at Leon for a long while before he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

“Are they going to fight anymore, mommy?” Aveline whispers.

I slowly shake my head.

“I don’t think so, my love.”

And I believe it this time, too. As much as Zyglavis dislikes Leon, he knows. He was just being stubborn. There is nothing he can do. Aveline chose Leon.

[patricia-von-arundel]

The Boarding House AU: Elsa & Romance Novels (I)

Rating: T

Summary: Shardsverse AU. After escaping a death sentence, and forced to come to terms with the idea that she can never return to Arendelle nor see Anna again, Elsa finds herself in the unexpected position of sharing a room with a poverty-stricken young scholar of magic…

Part I: Elsa & Alarik | Part II: Elsa & Christmas

Elsa tried to enjoy the book Alarik had given her for Christmas. She tried very hard, particularly as she appreciated the distraction both the book and the effort gave to her. She read the whole thing, in the days following the holiday, when he returned to work at the university, leaving her alone - to stew, or to wander, or to read. He did make it clear - again - that he didn’t want her to feel trapped there, a prisoner still, her whole world within four walls. “Just say on the busier streets, and keep any money close. Down here… well, it’s not as if people can send their servants to do the shopping. There will be other people like… like you.” Would there be? She was afraid, yes, but not so overcome by it that she was oblivious to his own rather obvious fear and uncertainty. She did wonder, more than once, if he regretted agreeing to let her come here, but how could she ask if that was the case? She couldn’t, of course. He had mentioned once speaking to friends about finding a better place for her, but nothing further had been said. Was that to be the rest of her life, then? Forever moved from place to place, like a pawn on a chessboard, forever hiding, forever in exile? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything - not anymore. Less than half a year since a crown had been placed on her head, and she was in the slums of a foreign city without a skilling to her name. In such a life, how could anyone claim to know anything? Alarik seemed almost relieved to be going back to the university, and she couldn’t blame him - she couldn’t possibly be good company. Still, he promised to be back as early as he could, and she was free to leave, and he had a few skillings, in the box under the window, if she wanted to get something eat or leaves for tea or - “It’s fine,” Elsa said - words that had become almost like a mantra, attempting to reassure herself as much as him. Nothing was fine. She watched from the window as he walked away down the cobbled street, bent against the wind, hands buried deep in the pockets of his worn coat, his too-long hair flopping against the crown of his head. She could feel, clearly, the snow promised by day’s end, the heaviness in the air, filling her, lungs and heart and veins, speaking to its kin within her. At least he didn’t have to worry about her needing to keep a fire going all day, she thought. More light might have been nice, but she didn’t want to use the very limited supply of oil for the lamp, either. She would make do with the dreary sun that made it in through the thick, dusty panes of the window. She stared out, long after he had disappeared - there was something soothing about watching the world out there, safely removed from it but a spectator nonetheless. People passed occasionally - women with folded sacks or baskets, heading to the marketplace; two scrawny boys leading an even scrawnier goat by a fraying length of rope. The snow began to fall mid-morning, and after, the streets were all but empty. With snow, and the tiny room empty and silent around her, she couldn’t prevent her thoughts returning to Arendelle - to all the things she had tried so hard not to dwell on, these last few days. How long had it been? How long since she left Anna? She couldn’t remember. Anna was alone - married and safe, yes, but was that enough to see to her happiness? What would happen if anyone - Princes Hans - found out that she had helped Elsa escape? For that matter, what had happened after her escape? She didn’t know. She had been too focused on herself to find out. Anna might be executed in her place - conspiracy, treason, any number of charges brought against her by those seeking improving in their own fortunes. Who would defend her? To whom could she turn, with her only living family fled? Elsa had just left her - selfish, heartless creature that she was. She looked away from the window - and realized snow was now falling inside as well as out. She pushed up from the bed - quick, furtive movement; backed to the corner, drawing her hands up to her chest. “No.” Her breath coming in rapid, frantic bursts. “No, no, no…” Her father’s voice: “Conceal it, Elsa.” “Don’t feel.” Tucking her hands away, bending over them, desperate. “Don’t feel.” This wasn’t her place. This was Alarik’s place - everything he had in the world. She had to go. Get herself under control. She fled - all but blind to the hallway, the rickety steps, the icy cobbles and their thin coating of snow. How far she ran, she did not know; she ran until, still malnourished and weak from months in a dungeon cell, she tripped over a board hidden by the snow and fell hard to the street, gasping at the pain that reverberated up through her knees, the skinned palms of her hands. And there she remained, trembling and gulping for breath, for another uncertain, indefinite time. She didn’t think she had enough strength left to stand, much less continue to run. She did what Alarik had done, to help calm her that first day she had arrived: she took deep, audible breaths, focusing on the movement of her chest, the pleasant chill of the air as she drew it deep within her. Gradually, her heart slowed, the terrific panic abated, and she could push herself to a sit, her back against the anonymous brick wall behind her, hugging her knees to her chest. She felt dizzy and weak - but once more in control of her own faculties. There was someone else, across the street, huddled, much as she was, but within the confines of a ragged blanket, watching her with dark, wary eyes - and she suddenly realized how vulnerable she truly was here. This wasn’t the wilds of Arendelle, and she had far more to fear from people than from anything in the forest. The last few months in a cell had shown her that truth. She got to her feet, trying not to look as unsteady as she felt. She held her head high - and her arms crossed tightly across her chest. One of her gloves had torn as she fell. Her dress had not; Alarik had been right that the tougher cloth of cheap fabric was a good idea. Her first few steps were wobbly, but she managed to stay up, though her head was swimming and spots danced before her eyes. She had no idea how to get back to Alarik’s boarding house - or even to the market square, from which she might be able to retrace the way they had gone before. She knew she hadn’t gone far - she was still surrounded by ancient, crumbling, looming buildings - but that was little help when she nonetheless could not remember the way “not far” had taken her. “Don’t panic,” she whispered. “Do not panic.” Slightly reassuring - so she tried to convince herself - was the lightness of the snow, the brisk breeze that was nonetheless far from a frigid gale. She had kept a measure of control - that, or her overall weakness impacted her powers as well. Would Alarik know? She knew what he studied - but he had never mentioned her magic, nor asked her any questions. Would he mind if she asked him questions? She had to find her way back to him, first. At the corner, she stopped and tried to get her bearings, some part of her hoping her mind would magically have taken note of where her panicked flight had taken her. But all she saw was dirty stone, grey sky, unbroken scrim of fresh-fallen snow. She tucked her hands more deeply under her arms, and looked back the way she had come, where her footprints were already filling in white. Should she go on, risk getting even more lost while seeking something familiar? Or should she knock on a door and ask for help - was it permissible to knock on a stranger’s door? She didn’t know. Nor did she know how long she stood there on the corner, hunched and uncertain. She couldn’t stay there forever - but how could she know where to go? Her heart was speeding up again, deep breaths becoming more difficult, and though it had not yet escaped, she could feel the cold pulsing just beneath the thin veneer of her skin. “Madame?” A deep, commanding voice, with just a trace of an unfamiliar accent. “Are you in need of assistance?” Elsa whirled, already sinking back against the rough wall behind her, breath hitching. The man was as large as his voice, and made even larger by the layers he wore, the outer of which was a coat that made him look rather like a clean-shaven bear, with matching fuzzy hat. But his eyes, when she found them, were deep and brown and kind. There was such genuine concern in them that her breath caught once more. She remained in her defensive hunch - but the fear that she would have to flee again was already fading. “Has someone hurt you?” the man asked - and now she could find kindness there, too, among the pleasant tone of the accent, still impossible to place. “I- no. Why…?” He smiled. “You have no coat. Though you do not appear cold - I envy you, I confess. I fear I find it cold here even in the midst of summer, though I have been here 15 years now.” She didn’t know what to say - it was like all the well-rehearsed rules of polite conversation had abandoned her when she left her throne in Arendelle. She just nodded. “Still,” the man said, as if she had responded in some normal fashion, “and I do not mean to pry, but you seem… burdened?” Elsa bit her lip. “I.. I’m… lost. I don’t know how to get ho-… to where I’m staying.” “You are new to the city?” There was no judgement in his voice, only compassion, and she felt it wash over her: relief, and comfort, and… trust? “Yes. I’m… I’m staying with… a friend. Dr. Alarik Geatland.” In this city of thousands, how would he know the name? But it didn’t matter - it was all she had. The man’s brow drew down in clear dismay. “We are not acquainted, I’m afraid. Do you perhaps have an address for his residence?” How could she not know that? His address? She was a fool. “I’m… I haven’t been here long, and…” She trailed off, embarrassed, but the man just nodded. He seemed to think hard. “A doctor - at the hospital?” “Oh - no. He’s a scholar. At the… the university.” The man grinned now, wide and triumphant. “Ah! A scholar.” He nodded again. “Yes - I know the university!” Elsa almost cried, relief so great struck her then. “Can you tell me the way?” “Better - I’ll show you!” “Oh, no, you don’t-” But he had already turned. “It’s this way, not far. But be careful, the road is very slippery.” “I… I will be.” She followed him - because what choice did she have? She could think of no other way, short of her earlier thoughts of wandering or knocking on a stranger’s door. This way was far easier, though she felt very awkward, following along behind this large, friendly man like a duckling. “My brother went to a university,” the man said, “but I chose adventure. I took a place on a trading ship, and five years later, I was captain of my own! But once on a visit to my family, I met Lilah, the most beautiful, wonderful woman on all the earth. But she is wise and practical - she would not marry me until I could provide for her, on land. So I came here, and set up my business, and now, Lilah has given me five children, as beautiful as she is.” He didn’t not look to Elsa for responses, and for that, she was grateful. He prattled on as they walked, apparently intending to share as much of his life story as the journey allowed. She didn’t even know his name. She half-listened, but mostly focused on trying to pay attention, now, to the way they went. She had never considered how similar streets could look to one another. Aside from her time spent here, she had gone into the city in Arendelle… maybe twice a year, until she was eight? Certainly not often, and never by herself. The streets had grown finer - they were walking now among large, clean, free-standing residences, many with small gardens or orchards, and bristly fences and gates protecting them. Elsa couldn’t help but imagine what was inside: solid walls, and clean floors, and dustless surfaces, and the smells of fresh linen and dry air from large, open windows and high ceilings. And a place to be alone, and protected. But she reminded herself, forcefully, of the dungeon cell beneath the castle, and the sick dread of no escape. “This is better,” she muttered. “Did you speak, madame?” “Oh - no. I’m sorry.” “We are almost there, and-” “Elsa?” Alarik’s voice - he was across the street and so far away she could only recognize him by the brightness of his hair, but as soon as she looked up, he started running. “This is your doctor?” her guide asked as Alarik reached them, red-faced and gasping for breath. “Yes,” Elsa said, “and I-” But the man bowed deeply then, even doffing his hat, and for a moment, she found herself confused about both who and where she was. “Then I leave you to him with good wishes. I have left my eldest daughter in charge of my wares, and I cannot allow this for too long, or people will know how unnecessary I am in the face of her brilliance.” He straightened, smiling broadly. “But perhaps we shall meet again? Until then, alas, I must bid you a good day, madame.” And before she could even say thank you, he turned and was gone as quickly as he seemed to have appeared. Alarik, finally catching his breath sufficiently to speak, said, “Who was that?” “I don’t know.” A pause - and she looked at him, and was surprised to see what looked like anger in his eyes. “You don’t know? Elsa you can’t just… trust people. People you know nothing about!” She stared at him - for perhaps longer than was necessary - eyebrows raised and lips tight. “Like you?” He looked appropriately abashed - his cheeks flushing even brighter, and his mouth opening and closing several times before he was finally able to speak. “Not like me. I’m not… You know my name, if someone asks! You’ll get hurt, Elsa, you can’t-” The irritation flared to anger. “I can’t?” He sighed. “You shouldn’t.” She said nothing. She just stared at him. And finally, he huffed another sigh, raised gloved hands and let them fall at his sides. “Fine. Just… remember you can’t trust everybody.” “That’s easy enough.” She tucked her own hands back under her arms - last time she’d gotten angry, only a lucky accident had prevented her striking Anna, once again, with magic. “Considering that I don’t trust anybody.” “Not even me?” She didn’t know what to say. She looked away, down at the layer of unbroken snow, marred only by the remains of their footsteps - no more was falling, but the day was still grey and overcast and cold. His third sigh was of resigned acceptance. “Let’s go home?” She nodded. She still couldn’t meet his gaze, but she felt it upon her. They walked most of the way back in silence. She couldn’t decide how she was feeling - recalcitrant? Misunderstood? - but it was uncomfortable, whatever it was, and so she kept her arms tightly crossed, her eyes cast down, following him and very aware, once more, of just how far she was from home. More people were out, now that the snow had stopped, and she was sure they were all staring at her - the strange, hunched young woman wandering streets not her own, no coat or scarf or hat, an anomaly… or a monster? Conceal, don’t feel. “Were you trying to find me?” Alarik finally asked. She risked a glance up, but he was looking pointedly ahead. They had to be nearing his home - the streets had again narrowed to caverns beneath crumbling, leaning buildings. She could smell midden and waste - human and otherwise - even in the frigid air, and could hear chickens down one of the narrow alleys, behind the rows of houses. “Yes,” she said quickly. “I… lost my way.” “You went out?” “I…” She wasn’t sure, at that moment, if she wanted to tell him the truth of what had happened. “I was… worried about Anna.” “You were…” And now he did look at her, as it hit: “Oh. Oh. Of course… oh god, I’m an idiot - I meant to tell you. Anna’s fine. I saw the newspapers, just a couple of days before you arrived. She’s been crowned. Her husband has been named prince consort.” The relief that washed over her was breathtaking - she released a hand to press it hard against her chest, over her pounding heart. “Elsa?” “I’m fine. It’s… I’m fine.” She didn’t have to work as hard to make herself smile as she might have anticipated. But she had to put a hand to the decaying wall as they climbed the stairs to his room, afraid she would not be able to keep her balance. Anna was safe. That was all that mattered, all that would ever matter. Her ebullience lasted until he opened the door to his room, and she saw the snow - not a lot, but enough, and mostly unmelted; the room was hardly warmer than it was outside. Elsa stopped dead - then, when she saw Alarik’s shoulders slump, had to resist mightily the urge, again, to run. She twisted her hands together. The gloves were on, Anna was safe. She could control it. He turned to her, clearly dismayed, and she recoiled. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I-” “I shouldn’t have left you,” he said. Her mouth closed. She folded her arms once more. She did not speak - she had no idea what to say. He pushed his hair, damp and limp with melted snow, out of his eyes, looking down, defeated. “My apologies. Elsa. I shouldn’t have gone so soon.” She looked, again, at the mess she had made - and felt a wave of homesickness wash over her. How many tens, hundreds of times had this happened in her childhood? With the reduced staff, it was usually Gerda - who had always known Elsa’s secret - who came to clean up the mess. She came with rags and bucket and broom - but also hot chocolate. She always brought Elsa hot chocolate, but would never explain why she thought Elsa deserved it, despite her shameful behavior. She never let Elsa help, either, telling her there was a rigorous training required to work in the castle, and Elsa would have to ask her father if she could join the staff. That sometimes - not always, but sometimes - made Elsa smile. “I’ll clean it up,” she said. “No,” Alarik said quickly. “I can do it, it’s fine.” Her words reflected back at her. Was it fine? She didn’t know. He was on his knees, towels in hand, and she stood in the doorway, uncertain and out of place once more. He was shivering, despite the exertion. She wondered if the university had fireplaces. “Wait.” The thought had suddenly hit her. “Are you supposed to be at the university?” He paused momentarily, but didn’t look up. “I’m going back. I was worried you wouldn’t go out to get lunch, so I thought I’d come back. Just to make sure… you were all right.” “Oh. Thank you.” He gave a sort of embarrassed half-nod, still not looking at her. “I don’t want you to worry about me,” she finally said. “I’m not sure I have any choice.” The tone was gentle, but still the words stung. He hadn’t asked for this, any more than she had. So all she said was, “I know.” He had brought things to eat from the university - “They sometimes bring in food around holidays” - and they had open-faced sandwiches in relative silence, sitting, as always, on the floor. Alarik looked broody and displeased, and Elsa didn’t want to make it any worse - worse than she already had. She wanted to tell him two meals a day would be fine, but what if he then felt like he had to skip meals, too? “I’m sorry,” she finally said - an apology for today, and for everything. He smiled - and she didn’t think it was entirely forced. “You’re better company than I’d have in the hall.” She tried her best to smile back. And after he left - promising to bring home dinner, and apologies if he was late - she picked up the book he had given her for Christmas, determined to keep herself occupied. She shouldn’t create more fuss than she already had. She sat on the bed, where she could see out the window - and where there was, perhaps, just a little more light. She crossed her legs, opening the book across them, so that it rested comfortably across her skirt. Then, she read. It was an absolutely absurd story, all about a beautiful young woman who had been caught up, alongside her husband, in the French Revolution. After the war was over, Napoleon now ruling France, they decided to travel - for reasons unclear to Elsa - to England, where the beautiful young woman, wandering through the ruins of a castle, inexplicably found herself sent back in time to the Hundred Years’ War, where of course the English thought she was a French spy. She there got to know a handsome young outlaw, hoping to clear his name fighting for the king. By the time she reached the contrived, inevitable marriage between the beautiful young woman and the handsome young outlaw, she was hardly aware of her own derisory snort - because equally, her mind was absorbed.