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nothingtoseeherebyeexx · 11 months

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Delicate, Chapter Three: Cinnamon Girl

here we go again! same disclaimers as last time. important talks and a long awaited reunion <3

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Narcissa was conflicted, her smile tight as she took in the news.

She and Mary had been invited to a party by Lily Evans.

Lily Evans, who was extremely close to Alice Fortescue.

Alice Fortescue, that who surely going to be present at aforementioned party.

Did Alice know she had been invited? How did she feel about it? Was she the reason Lily had asked for Narcissa, specifically, as Mary’s plus one?

And then, how would Alice react when they saw each other again? How was she? Did she think about her, from time to time?

“You don’t look as excited as I expected. What’s wrong?” Mary interrupted Narcissa’s spiralling, bringing her back to reality. A party at the Potter’s meant a lot of celebrities and therefore the possibility to make oneself known: it was a chance too good for Mary to miss. However, Narcissa was bound to behave in some stupid, pathetic way and she needed Mary to stop her in case she started demolishing her public image by, let’s say, bursting out crying in front of her late teenage love.

“Sit down, I’m going to tell you a story. But you’ll have to promise me you won’t ask any questions until I’m finished, okay?” Narcissa said as she took Bunny from her tank and let her slither around her arm, because for some obscure, probably-rooted-in-her-troubled-childhood reason, it brought her some comfort.

Narcissa sat on the carpet, Mary mirroring her and not speaking a word. She looked worried, and that made something melt in Narcissa’s chest: she hadn’t felt like this since Andy (and Bella, in a way) left, when she was still a little innocent girl sharing little innocent secrets with her sisters. It happened a lot with Mary, an overcoming feeling of nostalgia that was only accentuated by the way the girl seemed to have adapted to Narcissa’s house, by learning in which drawer she kept the spoons, which switch turned on each light, which doors tended to fly open with a smack if you opened them too quickly.

God, she was getting soft.

“You know I went to a conservatory, Hogwarts, right?” Narcissa began.

Mary just nodded, without interrupting her.

“I attended that boarding school for five years, so basically my whole adolescence. I was already professionally trained when I started, obviously, and private teachers were much stricter than the ones at school, so I have always been ahead of my classmates and I found myself with a lot of free time and freedom, especially compared to my life back home. I was never quite able to shake off the feeling my parents were watching me, though, so I never had the courage to really break their rules. That was until a new girl showed up, at the beginning of my third year.” She couldn’t help the smile that naturally bloomed on her lips, her gaze fixed on Bunny.

“Her hair was a mess of curls, her smile a bit crooked, her tie always out of place. Subconsciously, I knew she was the exact opposite of what my parents approved of, so I immediately despised her. However, fate decided it would have been funny to tie our lives together, and since my roommate had coincidentally graduated, the two of us ended up sharing a room. And I’m forever glad it happened, Mary. This is the part where things start to get really personal, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.” Mary replied, raising her palms in surrender. She had gotten a little closer, moved by curiosity.

“They better be. Anyway, this girl took guitar lessons and I had piano, but we still shared singing classes together. Oh, Mary…I will never forget the first time I’ve heard her singing. I remember thinking, and it is a big compliment considering where I grew up, that I was lucky for witnessing the beginning of something so great. You see, I have been raised to become a singer, to use my voice as a means to get richer and greater, but I still felt like an amateur standing next to her. Not because her technique was better than mine, the teachers always praised me more,” Narcissa added, aware she sounded ostentatious, “but she had this energy, this unique style that wasn’t…fabricated, like mine. I stood next to her, and I realised the way I sung might have been flawless and pleasing to the ear, but it could never be anything more. It was never going to feel real.”

Narcissa paused, trying to find the right words to continue this conversation.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Mary tried to come to her rescue, but Narcissa shook her head.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…hard to voice these thoughts for the first time. I’ve never told this to anyone,” Narcissa replied, a bit bashful. “At the time of the story, my relationship with my sisters was already a mess, and we didn’t talk much. But you already know that, the media made sure of it.” She added, bitterly.

She had grown used to it, seeing as she had been under flashing cameras since the day she was born. Mary pressed her lips together, looking regretful, like she could’ve just ignored the news spread by paparazzi.

“Because I was a child, the moment I was confronted with this random girl that I considered so much better than me, I got incredibly jealous. I wanted to hate her, I really did. But she was always friendly, laughing at my snarky comments like they were inside jokes, and even when I pulled pranks on her she retaliated like it was a game between the two of us. I like to remember those days as the the chance I had at a normal adolescence.”

“What did you do?”

“I know you’re the one who put that red sock in my white laundry, Black. Since you like pink so much, I’ve mixed some hair dye with your shampoo. Now we match!”

“You-“

“I was mean, at times, but she always reacted in a way that inevitably made me feel like shit. For instance, her parents owned an ice cream parlor, and when I made a snobbish joke about that, she showed up the next day with a giant bowl of every ice cream flavor imaginable. We ate it all in one afternoon.”

“What were you saying about my parents selling ice cream?”

Narcissa took another spoonful and closed her eyes in delight.

“That it is truly one of the most noble and respectable occupations. Wait, what flavour is that?”

“Mmh…Blue?”

“I fell for her smile, her clumsiness, the songs she wrote. She was a poet. Still is. I wanted to be more like her, so we started spending more time together, skipping the classes we didn’t like, hiding in the yard behind the dorms. She smoked and played her guitar, while I simply watched her. I even started writing songs, which wasn’t expected of me by my parents: all my future albums had already been written, hidden in my future manager’s drawer.”

Narcissa noticed that Mary was itching to ask something, probably what happened after that, but she was stopping herself.

It was a cute effort, cute enough to be rewarded.

“We fell in love. We kept it a secret at school, but I knew she expected to make it official once we were out of there. As you know, however, I had other plans for my future,” then Narcissa added, rolling her eyes, “Well, my parents had other plans. Anyway, we had this huge row, we were both mad at each other, and I said some things that deeply hurt her and that I wish I had never spoken. There, end of the tale.”

Mary was gaping at her, disappointment evident on her face.

“Time for the questions,” Narcissa allowed.

“That can’t be the end! What happened then?” Mary protested quickly.

Narcissa smiled so, so sadly.

“She made a song inspired by the last words I’ve said to her, became worldwide famous because of it, and I’ve had to listen to my worst mistake playing on the radio for ten years. And apparently, we are going to one of her best friends’ party this weekend.”

Mary looked comically horrified. “Oh my God, Narcissa… I had no idea, I’ll just tell Evans we can’t go-“

“No, don’t,“ interrupted Narcissa, “It’s fine, really. Maybe I’m delusional, but…” she sighed, “I just want to see her again. The worst part is that we never got any closure: I just ran away, and she didn’t chase after me. Not like I was expecting her to, obviously.”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the complete truth. During the first years after their ‘breakup’, Narcissa had wanted nothing to do with Alice, because she had showed her the promise of what could’ve been their future in another life, and it was too good and too far from her family’s expectations.

In the end, though, all that was left was an aching longing that she had put into words with songs that would’ve never seen the light of day. Or so she had thought, before she left her home on a delirious rampage.

Narcissa had hoped for a call, a text, anything really. And yet, the only way she could hear from Alice was on the radio, or through her headphones. She finally had the chance to speak to her, and she wanted to take it oh, so desperately.

“Lily told me your cousins will be there, too.” Mary interrupted the heavy silence, and Narcissa was grateful for the change of topic. Mary had crossed the carpet that divided them, close enough to hug Narcissa if she wanted to.

She decided to let her head fall to the other girl’s shoulder instead- Narcissa had never been too keen on physical contact, and yet this small display of affection was enough to comfort her. It was enough to make her realize she hadn’t been comforted in years. Fuck.

“I figured. I want to talk to them, it’s been so long. I’m so proud of them. Regulus, especially,” Narcissa let her hand travel on the carpet, while Mary listened in silence.

“He left when he was only 18. And he didn’t even go to his brother first, he preferred staying with this girl no one ever heard of.” Narcissa remembered with a smile.

She didn’t know the details of what happened between the two brothers after Regulus’ undertaking, but Sirius had always been very protective of him, even when things were complicated, so she could only imagine how enraged he must’ve been when he discovered he was bested by a woman he had never even seen.

“I think she’s called Pandora Lovegood,” Mary informed her. “She was rumored to be Regulus’ girlfriend, and people on the Internet started to make these crazy theories about the real reasons behind his escape, saying he did it for his ‘forbidden love’. They never confirmed anything, though, and he keeps bringing her as a guest during social events or parties…maybe you can ask him about it this Saturday.”

Narcissa was glad Mary couldn’t see her face, because she was really close to cackling: Regulus, the 12 year-old boy who had a full breakdown in her room because he didn’t want to kiss a girl on the cheek for a movie, with a girlfriend. Simply hilarious.

“I guess I could, yes,” she agreed, her sarcasm going unnoticed.

Her head was still on Mary’s shoulder, the silence between them stretching long but comfortable.

“Mary,” Narcissa called.

“Cissa,” Mary answered.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Narcissa didn’t really know why she asked, or where she wanted the conversation to go. Mary was extremely reserved about family matters, so-

“Yes, I do. I have two brothers, both younger. One is in middle school, the other a few years younger.” Mary’s tone was fond, and even if she was out of Narcissa’s sight, it wasn’t too hard to imagine a small smile on her lips.

“You never talk about them. You’re always working, either at the café or here…don’t they miss you when you’re not home?” Narcissa questioned, feeling bold.

“Oh, well, it’s not like I see them when I get home, since I’ve been living in a hotel for a while now,” Mary explained, sounding embarrassed.

Narcissa was not expecting that.

“You what? Since when?” she asked, startled, moving away from Mary to look at her in the eyes.

“I’ve wanted to leave that house for a while, so I saved some money with my part-time job,” Mary said, ”I moved about a month after signing the contract, when I was sure I could make it by myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Narcissa replied, distraught, putting a hand on Mary’s shoulder. “I have asked you to come live with me!”

“No you haven’t?” Mary countered, confused and slightly alarmed by Narcissa’s fervor.

“You want me to come live with you?”

“We spend most of our time together already, I thought it was obvious?” Narcissa answered frantically.

Mary just laughed, uncontrolled and loud. Narcissa pouted.

“Fine, fine! I’ll come live with you, if you’re so desperate to have me around,” she smiled. “I’ll bring my stuff tomorrow, if I can manage. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure, whatever.” Narcissa replied, still looking like a crossed child. They sat next to each other on the floor, letting the silence settle for a while. Mary was good at reading people, Narcissa had learnt. She always seemed to know when someone needed some quiet, or preferred to ramble, and adapted accordingly. Everchanging, constantly camouflaging to survive.

“Why did you ask?” Mary asked.

Narcissa sighed, because one, she was expecting that question, and two, she didn’t know, either.

“Sometimes I hate them. Sirius and Regulus, I mean,” Narcissa explained. “Sure, they fight, seem to hate each other, and their relationship isn’t perfect, but at least it’s there. For my sisters, we’re dead to each other.”

“Have you tried calling them?” Mary suggested, and it should’ve been a silly thing to ask, because of course Narcissa should have tried to call them, it was the most logical thing to do. But she hadn’t. Andromeda left when Narcissa was still controlled by their parents and didn’t try to contact her, not even after her escape. Bellatrix was still proudly part of the family, so Narcissa hadn’t even bothered trying.

“No,” Narcissa replied, defeated. “It’s useless, they went on with their lives. I keep up with the articles about Bellatrix, so I kind of know what’s going on, but Andromeda has completely disappeared. I wonder how she did that.”

And why she didn’t bring me with her.

“…Do you resent her?” Mary whispered, quietly. Narcissa turned to look at her.

“For leaving?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, if I did resent her now it would be hypocritical, since I also ran away. But I used to, yes. Why? Are you worried your siblings might grow to hate you?“

Mary leant back, eyes travelling to the ceiling. Narcissa thought she looked so serious at times, with her gaze lost in thought and her lips clamped shut. Preoccupation made her look older.

“I’m not worried. When the time came, I told my parents it was time for me to enter the real world, that I had found an apartment out of town I could afford and that I was going to call them weekly,” Mary smiled bitterly, her eyes bright with tears Narcissa wasn’t going to address. “They didn’t bat an eye. One less mouth to feed, I guess. My youngest sibling, Theo, told me with tears in his eyes that he was going to miss me, while the oldest, Bingley, felt betrayed. He didn’t say it, but I could see it in his face.” Mary sighed, looking at Narcissa’s neck, where Bunny had slowly found her designated place.

“I know they will understand, if not now when they’re older, then. And if they do not understand, I’ll explain why I left myself.”

“…Why did you do it, though?” Narcissa asked, cautious.

“I did it because I deserve to be happy. Back there I wasn’t in pain, but I was miserable. And I couldn’t pretend like it didn’t affect me, so I packed my stuff and left for a place that allowed me to grow. And here I am,” Mary smiled at her, nudging her arm, making Bunny hiss in agreement.

Narcissa was having severe flashbacks of a conversation she never had, a scene in a parallel universe where her family was slightly less dysfunctional and talking felt a lot more natural. She refused to tear up.

“Why didn’t you ask your brothers to come with you?” She asked, or rather, sobbed. Fuck.

“Because it was risky,” Mary answered, seeming to understand that this conversation had more layers than just simple curiosity. “Although it wasn’t the best, my house offered stability, and I can’t support two more people on my own. When the time comes, they’ll be free to leave and come to me, but I’m not a mother, Cissa, and I don’t have to play the role for them.”

Shit, she was about to cry. Shit, shit, shit.

Did Andy feel like that? Did she also consider taking her sisters with her, when she had left that night?

When Narcissa ran away, three different types of illegal substances numbed most of her feelings, so she couldn’t really draw a comparison between their experiences.

“They won’t understand, Mary. You can’t expect them to.” She replied, managing to make her voice sound a lot firmer than it actually was.

“And that’s fine. I’ll explain when the time comes,” Mary replied, sounding so sure, so calm, so mature for a twenty two year-old.

Then she added, smirking, “Maybe I’ll start by calling them.”

Narcissa shoved her.

Lily had informed Alice that she and Mary would soon start working together, but since MacDonald was already quite busy with the release of her debut album, they weren’t going to start writing together for a few more weeks.

Alice was grateful for the delay: Lily was determined to work with Mary, and the girl seemed really close to Narcissa Black.

So, simply put, Alice’s (already trembling) emotional stability was really close to falling apart.

No one knew of their relationship back when they were at Hogwarts, and no one knew that relationship was actually something more than friendship. A something that apparently still meant everything to Alice, and nothing to Narcissa, since after ten years, the first was still unable to move on, and the second had completely erased the other from her life.

But Alice remembered. Oh, she remembered so well.

All her songs revolved around Narcissa in one way or the other: the memory of her, the feelings Alice had for her. Everything, for everyone to hear. She would be lying if she didn’t admit that a small part of her, the weakest, hoped Narcissa heard them, too.

Alice’s creative process wasn’t a journey through emotions or stories she wanted to explore or create, it was an eternal war that always took place on the same battlefield.

The school, the dorm, her lips.

The whispers, the fights, her kisses.

Was it possible for a poet to worship, despise, cherish and reject their own muse all at the same time?

Oh, how a juvenile mistake can change someone’s life. Because that’s was what it was to Alice, a mistake. It should’ve never happened, even if it felt too good to be true, even if it’s what led her to fame.

Even if it felt like love.

Luckily, the possibility of meeting Narcissa were low, even considering Lily’s new project. She was going to work with Mary, not Narcissa, so she was still safe, for now.

Speaking of this Mary, Alice was was looking forward to meeting her: Lily had been talking about her for days, about how fun she was, how talented she was, how she seemed to completely ignore all the rumours about her. So when Lily told her Mary was going to be present on Saturday, Alice was extremely excited.

The party at the Potter’s had already started, and even though the ‘small gathering’ already counted more than seventy people, Peter was still nowhere to be seen: James, Sirius and Marlene had gone to pick him up, so they were going to come back soon. Even Regulus, who was bringing Pandora, still hadn’t shown up, but Dorcas Meadowes was already deep in a conversation with Euphemia Potter and Mrs Zabini, probably discussing Zabini’s next spring collection. Lily was somewhere with Frank and Benji, probably ignoring the champagne glasses in the living room in favour of the vodka shots available in the kitchen.

Since Alice refused to get drunk so soon, she was left chatting with people she didn’t know too well about things she didn’t really care about, but honestly, she was enjoying it. She was just talking to Molly Weasley (neé Prewett) about the challenges and difficulties of growing pumpkins (Molly worked with her brothers in the film industry so what would she know about growing pumpkins, Alice had no clue) when the doorbell rang. She heard Lily stumbling in her heels from the kitchen calling “It’s her! It’s her!”, but since Alice was closer, she went to get it.

She opened the door, and Narcissa Black was on the other side.

And she was beautiful. She looked more mature now, healthier, but her attitude was as confident as ever.

Posture impeccable just like that day they met, when Alice had walked into her future dorm room and had found this blonde girl made of steel and ice staring down at her like she was a stray dog.

Her eyes were bright like every time Alice pulled out a cigarette in front of her, wordlessly convincing her to skip classes and lay on the grass together.

Narcissa looked like beauty and regret.

As time stretched indefinitely, Lily caught up to Alice and leant on the door frame, looking at the girl standing next to Narcissa. Because Mary was there, too.

“Mary, hi! You look gorgeous!” Lily greeted the girl, who thanked her and smiled brightly.

Alice tried to say something to Mary, but she couldn’t get her eyes off Narcissa. Of course she couldn’t, she never managed to.

Then Narcissa did something mad, horrid, monstrous.

She offered Alice her hand and spoke.

“Alice. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Lily was now looking at Alice with faux surprise.

“You know each other?” she asked, innocently. Alice glared at her, because she knew Lily knew, and she knew Lily did it on purpose. Alice also instantly knew Marlene was part of this, too.

People these days, can’t even let you handle your problems unhealthily.

Then Narcissa spoke again, and of course Alice gave her her full attention, because she still reacted to her voice like a dog to whistle. Ten years later, still as pathetic as before.

“…You haven’t told them?”

Oh, she was offended. Now that made Alice’s blood boil.

“Ironic, that.” Narcissa added bitterly, letting her hand fall, untouched.

Alice felt her gaze harden, but kept her mouth shut. Instead, she did what she had learnt to do well in the past years when confronted with Narcissa Black: Alice turned on her heels, and walked away. She vaguely heard Lily taking her two guests to the living room to introduce them to Effie, before disappearing in the kitchen.

Turns out, it was just the right time to get drunk.

#it’s finally here #hope you like it #next chapters are party chapters but i still have to writ them #so that’ll take some time #anyways #marylily #nobleflower #alicissa #mary x lily #alice x narcissa #lily x mary #narcissa x alice #marauders #marauders era girls #marylily fic #nobleflower fic #there was no tag for them #outrageous #fic: delicate

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