#overall though if you need anything specific just ask!! you already know my pronouns but for honorifics and shit

[codecicle]

do you have a pronouns page?!?1?1? (or something similar)

nope! ive never made anything like that before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the closest thing I could think of would be my pinned ^_^

[erigold13261]

For a change of mood, can we get your queer/pronoun HCs for the Spiderverse cast so far? I love you platonically!

Aw thanks! I care for you as well! (also you help prove my point that people come to me asking for my opinions lol, so thank you for that!)

But uh, I don't really have any queer headcanons outside of what has already become known on this blog lol. For some reason I just can't put effort into making headcanons for these characters. I think it's because they are a lot more established than the NSR characters and have lots of lore behind them.

I'll try to give what I do have so far though! Maybe a new one will pop up while typing this.

-Peni using kit/kitself pronouns

-Hobie using it/they pronouns mainly

-Actually, I like aroace Hobie too! Put that one down for me as well!

-Miles being bisexual

-Gwen is straight and trans

-Ganke is probably gay. I have a few asks with him I still need to answer about that I think.

-I don't personally have this, but there's an ask for T4T Pav and Gaya which I think is super cute (and hope to draw for so sorry that hasn't been answered yet).

-Peter Porker being genderfluid, or like some kind of genderfluid (like librafluid or something like that on the agender spectrum).

-I don't know anything about Jessica's lore, but I like the idea her husband is a transman and they used IVF or a sperm donor for Jess to get pregnant (Jess sees herself as straight but she is in a queer relationship so kinda counts for this)

-There was an ask about Miguel being a lesbian that I kinda liked (another one I want to draw for). Though I think personally I won't be using this headcanon, it is a cool one to think about like the T4T Pav and Gaya one!

-Noir being agender. Or somewhere on that spectrum. I forget what an asker sent in for a specific label, maybe it was agender switched from NB (or the other way around), either way they/them Noir!

-Honestly T4T MJ and Peter B is one that I might lean into

-Lesbian Margo is one I am thinking of leaning into as well (mainly because someone sent an ask for Margo and Tila which I honestly think is so cute and again want to draw that).

-Also Peni and Yinu becoming a couple (another ask I got) is something I can see happening (Yinu in the NSpidR AU is about 13 going on 14 and Peni would be about 14 going on 15, somewhere in that range. Similar with Margo and Tila, Margo is like 17, maybe 18, for me while Tila is 18 maybe about to be 19 if Margo is 18. I don't have set ages honestly).

-Um... I don't know, I kinda like the idea that the Vulture is a gay old man that acts like those two muppets that make fun of everyone lol. Him and Elivy could talk mad trash about stuff hehe

-Olivia might be an aroace lesbian.

-I definitely think Jonathan has some queerness to him but don't know exactly what (now all I can think of are glory hole jokes lol!)

So yeah, I think that's all I got. Got a few new ones along with acknowledging some asks I got from a while ago I do plan on trying to answer at some point. Honestly most of these were from asks that I got from other people and I just absorbed their headcanons into my canon lol.

Especially that Peter Porker one! I initially was gonna have him be the cishet one of the group but then the whole looney tunes/bugs bunny genderfluid thing came up and I just had to incorporate that!

Anyway, thanks for the ask! My inbox has quite a few asks I plan to answer (and to not answer) so hopefully I can get the ball rolling on those! I just am also trying to draw a comic, get commissions done, redesign OCs and get a job. So a lot of stress, but I'm overall happy! (and now I'm just full on rambling lol. Have a good day/night! You deserve it!)

[yandere-sins]

Create your own Alien! (Closed)

Form Closed, thanks for participating ♥

Hey guys! 

It’s finally happening ♥ 

I am so excited to see all your lovely creations, and I hope so are you!

What you might want to know before creating your alien:

👽  I know that we kept the information and the world for your aliens a little vague. I am sorry if you find that a little confusing. However, I hope you can trust me in that I will make sure your alien will be situated in the best role and terrain for them in the story. All aliens that are created and I have been given permission to use will make an appearance in the story, one way or another. That might be as a small role in the background, as well as more significant side roles. However, I cannot say which it will be as the story is not yet entirely planned out since some plot points depend on the lovely aliens you will create! ♥

👽  What I can say is that the story needs 4 yandere aliens as the main love interests! In total, there will be 6 main love interests; however, my co-creator and I have taken the privilege to create the first two for the story (for fun and also being able to start while the other aliens are still being created). Please enjoy the two of them until we get to yours!

👽  If you don’t want your alien to be showcased in the story, that’s completely okay, and you are still encouraged to create an alien just for fun! It’ll stay between us two, no worries (;

👽  There will be spicy content, however, there probably won’t be spicy content for all the main LI. If you’d prefer not to have spicy content with your alien, absolutely okay! :D

👽  If you have burning questions while creating your alien OC, which you need to be answered to proceed with creation, please feel free to contact me. Either per messenger or ask. Please note that all of this is going online while I am still asleep. I will get to you a couple hours later, but you should have all the answers on the same day! I will not give overly specific information about the story (including the worldbuilding); however, just create your alien as a creative, spur-of-the-moment creation. You can do it!

👽  My tip for creating your alien is honestly just to have fun. Even if you think your alien might look ridiculous or be way off the grid, they could actually be exactly what I am looking for. Of course, the overall roles of the leading 4 are already decided, and as such, I will choose the aliens that fit the most. However, I will do my damn best to adjust the story if I think an alien is perfect for the role, no matter if they fit stereotypes or not! I am so hyped for this, and I will work hard to meet everyone’s expectations! There is no right or wrong way to create your alien.

👽  I am sorry to disappoint, but for the sex scenes, our lovely MC will have female body parts. Otherwise, they are gender-neutral like always.

👽  For the aliens themselves, I look for all kinds of gender, pronouns, etc. Please don’t feel shy sending a gender-neutral alien or female alien, or well, like our lovely first alien, a slime. I would like to welcome diversity as best as possible and not go with 6 male leads!

👽  The warnings that will always be relevant to the story are as follows: Yandere/Dark Romance, Alien Cannibalism, Graphic content

👽  I am not deliberately killing off someone’s OC in this story, no worries. There are just uh... a few... disappearances when necessary. As mentioned above, there will be spicy scenes, but not always. I also warn about: assault, violence, and forced actions that may come up. Every chapter gets its own warnings, though. Please read them before exploring the story!

👽  If you want to create anything with your alien and/or the others yourself, please go ahead. I’d love to see what you come up with ♥ I highly encourage you all to enjoy your aliens to the fullest ^-^ (However, if you use someone else’s OC, please be mindful about what you are doing with them and under no circumstance create something derogatory.)

[starlessea]

Ultimate Guide to Writing Accents and Dialogue

I recently saw an amazing post on how to keep your characters ‘in character,’  and I wanted to make my own about writing accents, dialects, and overall just creating dialogue that suits the people you are trying to portray.

I’m a language/linguistic student, so here are a few tips I think you should consider!

1) Standard Pronunciation: 

First you need to think about where your story is set, and what is the standard dialect of the majority of your characters compared to your main character. What I mean by this is, if your story is set in the South, and all of your characters therefore have that Southern drawl, then it becomes the STANDARD, and has nothing to contrast it unless you introduce something.

If your main character (your POV) has a different accent, then make it NOTICABLY different from the standard of your story. It’s good to have accent variety, otherwise all of your characters start to sound the same.

2) Constructing your Vocabulary: 

Next, you’ll want to consider the vocabulary of your character. Ask yourself questions about them: are they educated, what was their upbringing like, do they work in a field with specific vocabulary? You can strip it back even further than that - when you think of your character how would you describe them? Could you see a badass biker using long, sophisticated diction on a regular basis? Or an old woman swearing like a sailor?

Don’t get me wrong, these are very much stereotypes, and often the most interesting characters are created by subverting your expectations. But use these questions as a springboard for your characters. If you’re writing fanfiction, and know the characters well already from a movie / tv-show, then try to IMAGINE them saying your lines to see if they are something they would actually say. 

However, also note that the register of your characters is bound to change given the situation. Obviously, someone is more likely to use heightened vocabulary in a certain setting - e.g. within a classroom - and more casual language elsewhere - e.g. in a bar. See below for such a distinction:

Formal: Yes/No

Informal: Yeah/Nah

3) Orthography, Syntax and Morphology: 

Okay, so those words might look a little scary, but don’t worry. Orthography is just a fancy way of saying spelling (specifically, the standard spelling system of a time/place and how we might see a character deviate from it), syntax is word order, and morphology is how words are formed (such as grammar, inflections etc.). I’ll give some examples of what I mean.

Orthography: I’m going to use Daryl Dixon from TWD for reference (keywords: Southern drawl, redneck, country). For Daryl, some words he says I write phonetically (according to how he says them), so that the spelling matches the phonology. E.g.:

Standard: “Take care of yourself.”

Daryl: “Take care of yerself.” 

I tend to do this alot with pronouns, such as ‘you/ya,’ ‘your/yer.’ But I also use the long, standard forms for variety and emphasis - e.g. ‘you’re right.’

Syntax and Morphology:

Often, a character will use different syntax or morphological patterns that we aren’t used to. Often, non-native speakers are portrayed using types of English we often categorise as ‘incorrect’ - but are just non-standard. You can find good examples of this within Creole literature.

For example, past-tense verbs are usually conjugated in the present-tense form:

‘we was / if I was you’ instead of ‘we were / if I were you’ 

“I go now.” 

“She gives it to me yesterday.” 

Unfortunately, a lot of these conventions are also stereotypically used to portray characters who are uneducated - think of Joe or young Pip from Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, for example.

But, you also want to avoid STEREOTYPING your character too much, as that can come across as amateur or cliche. What I mean by this is don’t over-rely on certain patterns - don’t overuse them. It’s okay to have variety, even if its with the SAME character. Just do it in a way that fits your overall construction. You can even change these speech patterns DURING your story to represent the development of your character, or them picking up an accent, or being around different people.

4) Apostrophe and Negatives:

Apostrophe: These can be used to mark a number of things - such as abbreviations, contractions, possession etc. If your character has a certain accent, they might roll certain words into one another - not stressing specific consonants, for example. We can see this in ‘C’mon.’

Alot of abbreviations are now recognised slang words, too. For instance:

C’mon = Come on 

‘Cos = Because

Lil’ = Little

‘Ma = Mama / mother

Ol’ = Old

Think about whether certain abbreviations and slang matches the register of your character, as well as their location. For example, slang words like ‘cuppa’ (cup of tea) are usually expected in a British setting.

Also, remember that the apostrophe goes in the position of the letter/letters you are getting RID OF, which is not always necessarily in the place of the contraction. E.g:

‘Do not’ contracts to ‘donot’ which abbreviates to the standard ‘don’t.’

Going back to my Daryl Dixon example, other common abbreviations I use for him include the following:

‘Ing’ contraction - walking becomes walkin’.

 Anyone, anything - becomes ‘nyone, ‘nything

Pronoun contractions - her becomes ‘er.

Connective contractions - and becomes an’ or n’.

Other contractions don’t even need apostrophes - such as ‘gonna,’ ‘gotta,’ ‘sorta,’ ‘wanna.’

Negatives: 

Even though Standard English doesn’t use double negatives anymore, we can use them in our writing of characters as an indicator of their background or dialect. They can also be used for emphasis.

Coming back to Daryl, he tends to use a lot of double negative constructions:

“I ain’t nobody’s bitch.”

“Don’t want nothin’.”

“Ain’t go no reason to.”

If you want to get even more complex, you can have a proclitic negative (where the negative attaches itself to the verb - e.g. don’t), and contract it further so you get a multiple contraction. For example:

You (pronoun), Are (verb, form of ‘be’), Not (negative) = you ain’t = y’aint.

“Y’aint never done shit for me!”

Because this is a three way contraction, it becomes a bit confusing where to put the apostrophe - is it y’aint or y’ain’t? To be honest, it becomes mostly your choice after that (stylistic). 

5) Loanwords and Imposition:

Loanword: This is a word borrowed INTO the native language FROM another one. For example, think of an American speaker using a French word or phrase in a sentence.

“Thought we were all takin’ a laissez faire approach now?”

Think of how this changes the sentence, and the impact it is going for. French is still seen as a prestigious language, so it can be used to heighten register, or can be used to mock/patronise/be sarcastic in a certain context (as in this example).

Imposition: This is when a speaker uses a word FROM their native language in the context of a non-native language they are speaking. It has connotations of power and agency. 

For example, a French speaker might use a French term in a conversation, despite it having a perfectly good English counterpart. This might be in order to demonstrate that a character is trying to show off, or is reminding their peers of their background or status.

6) Non-verbal Indicators:

This is more on the border of style, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Sometimes, the descriptive words you use can reflect a character's dialect. An obvious example can be how ‘drawled’ is associated with a Southern accent.

Although it might sound cliche, you should think about the vocabulary you want to use in order to describe a certain accent. If we were to compare perhaps Scottish or Welsh with French, for instance, you would be able to hear the distinct sound differences. The former are more harsh, guttural, have a lot of sounds that come from the back of the throat, whilst the latter is nasal and flows more.

Use your descriptions to emphasise this. Look up synonyms that describe the WAY in which your characters are pronouncing the words. Are they guttural, harsh, gravelly, thick? Or are they soft, fluid, smooth?

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Good luck writing, everyone!

Disclaimer: Even though this post is long, it’s actually really basic on a linguistic level - so I hope no true linguists read this haha. These are just some personal observations, but I hope they help!

[xaharadesert]

Oblivious MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 5) x MC

*Nadia in an upcoming post*

A/N: Yay, more headcanons! I know these are slow but the new school system is kicking my butt. This next one is for the amazing @genderless-plant-likes-thearcana! They come up with lots of cool ideas for prompts to send to various writers, so you should definitely check out their profile! They came up with a super cute prompt this time; an MC who is super oblivious to their LI’s romantic interest in them! I really appreciate the specifics added in the request, they really helped me out! Thank you! While you’re reading you may notice the headcanons get a bit goofier as they though ;) my bad, but this prompt was too fun. Another side note: I ran out of bullet points and couldn’t fit Nadia into this post, so she’ll be getting her own! As always, I recognize Asra’s non-binary gender orientation but will be using he/him pronouns :) Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes! Requests are open :)

❤️Julian❤️

He’s so in love with you

Like, more in love with you than he ever has been with anyone else

But he’s also insecure as heck

So when he starts dropping obvious hints about wanting to be in a relationship with you, and you just don’t get it...

He starts to think that maybe you only like him as a friend

I mean, he’s not being subtle at all

He flirts with you constantly, he sends you winks in the middle of a theatre rehearsal, he almost always has a hand on your should or back to guide you through the busier parts of Vesuvia...

Once he even stood up on a table in the middle of the Rowdy Raven and sang you a love song at the top of his lungs

You just thought he was being dramatic, as always

To you, Julian was an incredible friend

I mean, you maaay have had a teeeensy little crush on him, but he was such a sweetheart that you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you two had

You went on adventures together, you attended his theatre performances, and he did his best to support you in all your magical endeavours

Overall, the dynamic the two of you had was already incredible

And neither of you really wanted to ruin that

When Julian started thinking that maybe you only liked him as a friend he decided to be “selfless” and simply keep his feelings to himself

Of course, that would never work for long

Julian was a man of passion and, possible consequences be damned, he wanted you to know how he felt

So one day, when the two of you were at the Rowdy Raven together and he was tipsy enough to do something stupid, he stood up on the table and loudly announced his undying love for you

Believe me, even for Julian it was dramatic

It was a long speech about how amazing he thought you were, including vivid descriptions about each and every thing about your personality, appearance, and hobbies that he loved

So needless to say you needed cut him off a bit early so that the two of you wouldn’t be there all night

Unfortunately the first thought in your mind upon hearing this was “oh my stars he’s under some kind of spell”

You immediately dragged him out of the tavern and back to the magic shop to find some sort of cure, muttering theories under your breath the entire way

Julian, of course, was not under a spell and was feeling rather put out by your response to his confession

He wasn’t entirely sure where the two of you were going because you hadn’t bothered to share your suspicions with him (why would you? You thought he was being influenced by magic)

When the two of you reached your shop and you started skimming through books he finally asked what you were doing, seeming understandably surprised by the turn of events

You hesitated a bit, not knowing if it was worth explaining this to him, but settled on a brief explanation of “you’re under some kind of love potion and I need to break it” with a side of “please don’t do anything dumb while I try to help you”

Julian of course was, again, fairly shocked to hear this

A spell? What spell? He had been in love with you for months! There was no way it was a spell!

With his mind racing a mile a minute he finally realized what was going on

You were just really, really, REALLY oblivious to his feelings

This revelation caused him to laugh out loud, likely startling you out of your searching

When you looked at him in confusion and a bit of concern he only laughed louder, bending over and wheezing a bit

It took a while for him to calm down, even with your panicked response to his sudden change of emotion

When he was finally done laugiinh and had wiped the tears from his eyes he gave you the biggest grin he was possible of giving

He did his best to explain that no, he was not under a spell, no, he was not joking, and yes, he really did love you as more than a friend

He swears, the look on your face was worth the emotional rollercoaster he had been through that night

And you? Well, you probably needed a minute to process everything that he had just revealed

Of course, the feelings of love were mutual and you said as much when you could finally form words again

Julian was thrilled to hear that you loved him back

The two of you would be happy for many years to come, and even if Julian occasionally teased you about your obliviousness you could never truly be mad at him for it

🧡Portia🧡

She’s super open about just how much she loves you

Portia sees no reason to hide her true feelings, so she’s often very blunt about them

She’ll drop a “you’re gorgeous” or “I wanna kiss you” into a casual conversation like it’s nothing

But you somehow manage to not pick up on it

So of course, Portia doubles her efforts

She bakes you cookies in the shape of hearts, bring you nice flowers on her days off, and take you on what she considers dates, just waiting for you to pick up on her love for you

And yet none of this gets through to you

You think this is how Portia is with everyone

She was cheeky from the moment you met her, so when she tells you she wants to kiss you you just assume she’s joking

Everything else seems to just be an awesome friendship

Obviously Portia is super cute, and obviously dating her would be tons of fun, but there’s obviously NO WAY she could ever be interested in you like that... right?

Portia eventually starts to think you’re just messing with her

There’s no way you could be that oblivious

You definitely had to know she was into you, and you were just playing hard to get

She knows you have feelings for her too, the two of your wouldn’t be as close as you were otherwise

But, no offence, she’s getting a bit impatient

So she decides to just do what needs to be done

The two of you were walking through the market near your shop one day when she grabbed your arm to stop you in the middle of the crowd

She turned you so that you were facing her, looked you straight in the eye, and told you she loved you with the most serious expression you had ever seen on her face

As oblivious as you may be, there was no way for you to misinterpret this as anything other than the truth

Except there was

You assumed she was under a love spell

After the initial shock of finding out your friend was being influenced by magic was over, you immediately dragged her back to your shop without a word

Portia kinda thought you two were going home to make out and she was totally down with it

But when you entered the shop and started digging through your supplies, looking for something, she realized that maybe SHE had misinterpreted

She asked you what you were doing and nearly burst out laughing at the response

You thought she was under a spell? Seriously? You were actually that oblivious the whole time?

She thought it was the most hilarious thing she had heard in a long time

Eventually she managed to calm down enough to reassure you that, no, she was not under a spell

But of course you didn’t believe her, and thought that it was the spell talking

You went back to searching for an antidote while Portia continued trying to prove to you that she was genuinely in love with you

She listed the first time she realized she loved you, the first time she had said it to you to no response, the first time she had wanted to kiss you

She talked about how much she loved every part of you, from your personality, to your hobbies, to your insanely cool magic

Portia was nowhere near as dramatic as her brother could be, but she was very open about her love for you

Finally, you seemed to realize that she was telling the truth (no magic involved)

In turn, you confessed your feelings toward her as well

She gave you a bit of a sly grin and asked how she could be certain you weren’t under some magic spell

To this you responded by kissing her

So I guess she was right when she assumed you two were going back to your place to make out

The two of you were happy from then on, although Portia never let you forget just how dense you were

💛Lucio💛

It’s hard to imagine anyone could be so oblivious about his feelings

Lucio is the most in-your-face about his love for you

He leaves absolutely no room for doubt, which means it’s even more incredible that you don’t seem to get it

He has asked you to marry him about half a dozen times and you keep??? Laughing?? About it????

Doesn’t understand what’s happening

Nobody has ever done this sort of thing to him before, so his mind just blanks if he thinks about it too much

I mean there’s no way you could dislike him, right? You definitely return his feelings... RIGHT?

He’s insecure, but he’ll never admit that

Instead, he chooses to continue his over-the-top dramatic proposals and confessions until you say yes

On the other hand, you don’t really know what’s happening either

You know that Lucio’s a bit... strange, but this is a lot even for him

You start to think that maybe it’s his way of dealing with his feelings now that Nadia’s left him

So you decide to keep being a great friend to help him get through it!

And if that means wading through a bunch of strange emotional obstacles, then so be it!

(Lucio’s in the background banging his head against a wall in frustration)

It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy just being friends with you; he loves having someone around who genuinely cares about him

It’s just that he wants more

He hires people to build giant statues of you (which may be in poor taste, but who cares), he buys or sponsors all of your favourite shops, he always makes sure you get the best of everything

To you, this just seems like Lucio overcompensating for his previous “oopsies”

But one day it occurs to him that maybe you don’t understand his feelings because he’s going about it the wrong way

You’re pretty much immune to his dramatic proposals, so maybe he should try the opposite

So he put together a little plan

It wasn’t a particularly special night; no big occasion to be celebrated

He took you out to the balcony and leaned against the railing, looking oddly serious for someone who had no concept of emotional maturity

He took his time to prepare himself before speaking rather slowly and quietly in comparison to his usual tone

Lucio told you that he loved you, and he left no room for arguement

He didn’t embellish his words in any way, knowing that something simple would be the most likely way to get your attention

And boy did it work

You immediately assumed he was under some sort of spell

I mean Lucio? Acting like a normal person?? No way

You panicked right away and made a run for it, leaving Lucio behind on the balcony in your hurry to leave

Lucio, of course, was shocked, and more than a little offended to have been left so abruptly

People didn’t just leave him places without a good explanation

So obviously he chased you, yelling after you as you did your best to navigate the palace on your way to the library

Unfortunately for you, Lucio is surprisingly athletic and managed to catch you before you reached the door

He untactfully grabbed your arm, which caused you to scream, which caused him to scream, which caused everything to become even more of a mess than before

The two of you were just standing in the middle of the hall, screaming at each other

You wanted to find a way to free Lucio from whatever spell he was under, and Lucio wanted to know why you were running away

When you both calmed down (you being the first, of course), you explained your theory, which wounded Lucio’s ego even more than before

Lucio in return, replied in a not-so-polite manner, asking if you really thought he was stupid enough to be put under some dumb spell

Yes

Yes you did

Lucio had to explain his entire thought process behind confessing in such a normal way, which was pretty embarrassing from his perspective

But to you, it likely came across as sweet as it finally dawned on you that yes, he really was in love with you

The two of you probably had to immediately follow up the confession with a talk about whether or not he was serious about getting married

He was, but he didn’t want to make you feel awkward so he denied it

You two agreed to take things a little slower than he originally planned

The relationship was slightly awkward for the first few days, because neither of you quite understood what had happened the night of the confession

But either way, the two of you were happy, and that was all that mattered

(Although, when Lucio eventually asked you to marry him again it was just as chaotic and messy as the first time)

💚Muriel💚

Oh no, this won’t end well

Muriel is almost the epitome of insecure, so flirting is pretty much impossible for him

He tried a couple of times to be more forward, but when you didn’t respond to his advances he quickly backed down

He didn’t want to overstep, and immediately assumed you just wanted to be friends

Although, admittedly, he has seen other people flirt with you, and you don’t respond to them either

So maybe you’re just not interested in relationships? Or maybe you’re just as bad at flirting as he is

Either way, as much as he loved you, he didn’t push

From your perspective it would seem like Muriel just wanted to be friends

And frankly, anyone else around you would think the same thing

There was nothing particularly romantic about how Muriel acted around you

Arguably the boldest thing he was doing was spending so much time with you

But to you, this was simply a friendship

And of course, you greatly valued Muriel’s friendship

Once you had gotten past the rough exterior, you found that he was a giant sweetheart

He carved small wooden figures for you, and didn’t seem to mind spending time with you

Inanna loved you too, so that was a bonus

Your friendship with Muriel probably lasted much longer than it would have if either of you had any sense of romance

Neither of you tried to take things further because both of you were terrible at flirting and being flirted with

Eventually someone (Asra) had to step in and give Muriel a little push

Asra had known you for a long time, so he alerted Muriel to how oblivious you were and how to best confess his feelings

Muriel didn’t really want to confess at that point, because he didn’t want to make things awkward between you two if something went wrong

But his love for you outweighed his anxiety and he decided to do it anyway

It was a rather cold night, and the two of you were in his hut

You were both curled up by the fire (plus Inanna, of course), and you were telling Muriel a story about a particularly annoying customer from the day before

When you finished the story, a comfortable silence fell between you (which was something Muriel had always appreciated; silence with you was never awkward)

That was when Muriel took his chance and quietly told you he loved you

Except he said it too quietly and you didn’t hear him over the sound of the fire

I mean, you saw his lips move, and therefore asked him to repeat himself, but it was still quiet

Muriel hadn’t anticipated this, and accidentally repeated it in a voice that was much too loud for such a peaceful night

He immediately winced in embarrassment, only to be startled from it when you screamed

He had been anticipating rejection, but he thought a scream may have been a bit dramatic

But of course, you didn’t see it as a rejection; you thought Muriel was under a love spell

Why else would your quiet, anti-social friend suddenly confess to something you had never even seen him hint at before?

And more importantly, who had out the spell on him? Most people didn’t know about him, so it was either someone close to him, or someone EXTREMELY powerful.

You didn’t know which one was worse

You leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands and staring into his eyes, promising that you would help him

This only succeeded in confusing him, the poor man

He didn’t know what you were talking about, and you were starting to freak him out a little

When he asked if you were alright, you started to look confused too

You reminded him that he was the one under the spell, not you

Cue a chorus of confused “what?”s being exchanged by two confused people

In the end, Muriel realized that you had thought he was under a spell when he suddenly confessed

He blushed as red as a tomato and did his best to string together enough words to explain to you that he wasn’t

He genuinely loved you

He also quietly cursed Asra for making him confess, which suddenly helped a lot of pieces fit together for you

You nodded along and agreed that Asra’s meddling was problematic in this case

In the end the two of you spent a fair portion of the night just talking out your feelings and realizing that maybe you would like to be more than friends

Both of you were blushing a lot throughout the entire thing, and years later when the two of you were happy together, you mutually decided to never bring up how you had gotten together in the first place

Asra, however, had somehow found out, and was determined to never let either of you live it down

💙Asra💙

Subtlety? Never heard of it

Asra is the absolute best at letting you know just how much he loves you

Even despite your obliviousness, you are fully aware that he loves you

And of course, you love him back!

How could you not?

Except, the way you see it... it’s platonic love

And Asra is 100% okay with that!

You two share a heart, so he fully understands that you view the live that you two share as platonic

This doesn’t really bother him; as long as you’re alive and happy, that’s all that matters

He’s perfectly content to pursue a strong friendship with you

But of course, being the cheeky legend that he is, he has to slip in some flirting and teasing once in a while

He’ll wink at you in the middle of work, casually brush against you while passing you in the shop, and hold your hand as often as possible

But of course, you view this as friendship

Who doesn’t cuddle with their best friend literally every night? That’s totally normal

You couldn’t ask for a better friend than Asra; he’s always there when you need him and he somehow always seems to know how you feel

You’re incredibly grateful to know him, and you feel safe and comfortable living in the same space as him

Yep, definitely only friendship feelings

He shows his love in little ways to you every day

The two of you live together, so of course you will occasionally have a petty arguement and try to stay seperate for a while, but that doesn’t stop him

He’ll “forget” which chores are yours and do a couple for you, he’ll make your favourite drink “by accident” and then claim he isn’t thirsty, and he’ll casually send Faust into the same room as you if he thinks you’re crying

Overall, just a great partn- I mean friend

He doesn’t really feel the need to confess to you, but if he notices that you’re starting to feel a more romantic attraction toward him then he’ll definitely take advantage of that

If you only wanted to be friends, then, well, that was one thing

But if you wanted to be something more... then he was definitely more than okay with that as well

Asra didn’t exactly plan out how he would confess to you, and instead waited for what he felt was the right moment

He knew it would come eventually, and there was no real rush

So when the two of you were travelling together, and you were both stargazing late at night, the feeling struck him

You had just settled down from laughing at a joke when he gently tilted your chin so you were looking into his eyes

He told you he loved you, but there was certainly something more personal this time

But of course you were incredibly oblivious so you just grinned and said it back, not really thinking about it too much

Of course Asra knew you had missed the point, so when you went back to looking at the stars he propped himself up so he was leaning over you a bit and repeated it

This probably confused you a bit, but you said it back again, thinking that maybe this was some kind of game

He held back a laugh and tried again, this time putting more emphasis on the “love” part

You missed it, and repeated it back

At this point he was trying not to laugh, and knew that he had only one more try before he wouldn’t be able to hold it back

This time he tried explaining more thoroughly

He told you he loved you romantically; as in, a love that was more than platonic. Romantic, soulmate kind of love. Not friendship. Please get it this time.

Your mouth formed a perfect “o” as you finally got his point

For a brief moment, Asra felt relief, thinking that he had finally gotten his point across

Instead he received immediate and extreme panic as you quickly shoved him away. While screaming.

This certainly hadn’t gone as planned

He was desperately trying to calm you down while you rambled about every place you two had been on your trip, trying to locate a time where Asra could’ve been put under a love spell

Asra, of course, found this hilarious, and started laughing harder and harder while also trying to calm you down

This only caused you more distress, and soon there were tears streaming down your face while you tried to convince him that no, this wasn’t funny

He knew you were genuinely concerned about him, and he genuinely was trying to stop, but this had come out of nowhere and he didn’t really know how to respond either

Eventually, you both managed to calm down (but only the kind of calm where he would occasionally look at you and burst into giggles again)

He did his best- between giggle fits- to explain to you that he genuinely did love you and he definitely wasn’t under any spell

He told you that he had loved you for years, and that he always would

He also subtley pointed out that he had been flirting for years and you had just been completely oblivious

No confession would truly be complete without a bit of teasing

You probably felt a bit embarrassed, but he reassured you that it was just a part of your charm

Of course, you told him you felt the same, and the two of you went back to watching the stars, this time just a bit closer than before

From then on, not a whole lot changed in your relationship

The two of you were practically in a romantic relationship already, so really all that was different was a few more kisses and a slightly different intention behind the “I love you”s the two of you shared

[grown-clone]

djtlhboxn marchups please!! my pronouns are they them and please dont give me an underage character i have no specific gender preference but since im 20 i wouldnt want someone younger so your hands are kinda tied.

now that thats said if i had a quirk i already know id use it for myself and not even try to be a hero and im convinced hero society should fall so do with that what you will. my mbti is entp if that means anything, im probably really annoying too but i can read cues and stop so i dont make someone uncomfortable (i dont stop if theyre a dick though)

i like anime and manga a lot clearly, i think im really funny but i guess older people just find me concerning. ive never worked a day in my life but im in a really good uni with a 4% acceptance rate so thats pretty cool, im not special for it or anything i just have decent memory and pressure to succeed drives me.

im crazy patienten with people, ive been spending the last 8 months getting closer to someone eith anxiety and we've had 0 issues so id say i could get along with anyone however long it takes. though i do like taking everything this slowly cause i am terrified of getting into rushed relationships - GOD like i can't explain it well, english ismy 3rd language. i dont want to just ever date someone because then you break up and i cant sleep around cause thats so boring to me so id need to take a long time of getting to know someone and then actually dating uhhh yes

anyway i guess my love language is quality time and im really awkward with physical affection

thank youu so much this was probably a lot thank you

OKAY OKAY OKAY i got JUST THE IDEA(this was also the perfect amount of information bby)

I MATCH YOU UP WITH----

FATGUM

Fatgum met you after you and your business partner Clone(who totally isn't the author) opened a new café a block away from his agency. Filled to the brim with treats and drinks, but you were tucked away on the other side of the Cafe with a mini library/bookstore, complete with all sorts of books, art supplies, computer/pc equipment and more! He caught sight of you flipping a page by waving at it with your hand, which was technically illegal quirk usage, but you weren't hurting anybody so he didn't really care. He thought you were smokin hot like a good meal, and your tattoos and piercing gave your overall look a sharp edge. He walked over to try a see about a book for Tamaki, and maybe your number. But when you looked up to see the hero customer waiting, the smile fell off your face. You were curt, maybe even a little cold, and simply gave him two of your recommendations and checked him out. Fatgum walked away over to Clone, the baker and maker who he actually never caught the name of, to pick up his takeaway of drinks and treats for his interns.

"Uh oh, that's a sad face there! Whats wrong big guy?" Clone asked. Fatgum handed over his Yen and sighed. "Your business partner over there doesn't seem to like me very much. I was hoping to get to know them!"

"Well, you're gonna have a hard time cracking that walnut! Y/N doesn't really like heroes, or how hero society turned out."

"What? How can you not like heroes?" Fatgum asked, already taking a bite out of a doughnut. Clone shrugged with a smile on her face, and tucked an extra couple of treats into the bag.

"Maybe you should try talking to them about it?"

Fatgum would have turned around and talked to you right then and there, had his youngest intern Kirishima not burst through the door begging for some backup. So he carried his snacks and off he went.

You peaked around the corner of a bookshelf, eyeing Clone with a fierce intensity. "Is he gone yet?" You stage whispered, and a few customers shot you a look or two for breaking the near-silence. You shuffled over an sighed. "Ugh, I thought he was never going to leave."

Clone rolled her eyes, moving to the kitchen to brew some more tea to chill overnight. "You're quite dramatic when it comes to heroes, aren't you Y/N?"

"Its not my fault that they're all selfish, money grabbing idiots who don't actually care about anything!!!!! UGH!! Did you SEE the way he was just staring at me?"

"You mean like he wanted to get to know you?"

You shoved Clone away, almost causing her to spill the sugar everywhere. "Ugh, you're so lucky I enjoy your presence. Otherwise I'd throw you against the wall and dump sugar everywhere with my Quirk." You sat on a stool and crossed your arms, humpfing like a child. Your quirk, Atom-force, let you manipulate nonliving matter atoms like telekinesis. But, you learned how to use it on peoples clothing to hold them in place, or remove all the oxygen from their lungs.

"You're lucky I didn't give Tashiro your number! I mean, you're friends with me and I'm a hero!"

"Clone, you're a vigilante. That's not the same thing. Heroism isn't what it used to be. Even in America, there's still more vigilantes than pro heroes. And the pros get all the credit!!! Its a broken system, I say. We should be able to freely use our quirks without being labeled as a villain."

Clone was about to respond to you until a scream echoed from the cafe. You both dashed out into the mess, tables turned over. Glasses shattered. Drinks spilt and tea cakes crumbled. You watched as a villain with prehensile hair tried to stab Kirishima, the young intern who frequented the cafe with Fatgum. While you may not agree with hero society, killing teenagers who were mostly untouched by the toxic workfield were OFF LIMITS. Especially the one who was always so respectful and nice to you.

"NO MA'AM. NOT IN MY CAFE!!!" You crossed your hands over each other and flung them to the side. The Villains ponytails snapped out in opposite directions. She screamed as her hair pulled her both ways. Clone's body seemed to seep red energy, and a long, red spear formed in her hands. She held it at the villains neck. You walked over to the red haired-hero in trainging, helping him up.

"That....was....so.....MANLY!!!!! Oh, sorry! HUMANLY!!!! Y/N, I didn't know you had a quirk like that!!! Amazing!!!" Kirishima momentarily forgot about the villain attack as he gazed at you with wide, energetic eyes.

"Kirishima!!!" Fatgum, slightly smaller due to his burnt fat, bolted over to his intern. "Hey there Red! You took a bit of a tumble, didn't ya? Oh, thank you kind civilian!!! Those two little heroes out there mean the world to me, but its hard to watch then twenty four seven, you kno-Oh! Its you!!! Well, thank goodness you guys are around!!!" Tashiro smiled at you, and nodded his thanks. You nodded out of respect and left.

"Mate, come ON!!!" Clone growled as she drug the villain out by her hair. You laughed.

That was the first time you really met Tashiro.

You walked aimlessly around the mall, simply needed to move and maybe impulse buy some shit you don't really need. Your apartment could use some decorating since you had just about paid off your student loans, you could afford to splurge. The cafe(called The Librewery) was doing excellent and, lets be honest, making bank. You had been offering your services to teach basic English to support item makers looking to reach out to I-Island. All in all, you were looking pretty stacked with Yen. Well, not stacked, maybe piled.

"Definitely enough to get these Pop figurines....Oh, and maybe that plant!!" you muttered to yourself in the home decor area. So with some figurines(and a couple herb plants for Clone because she's psycho for them) you head back to the cashier.

And smack into a very solid body.

"Oh, geez, I'm so sorry about-Hey you! Long time no see!." Tashiro's bright smile stared down at you, and you realized he was a lot smaller than he normally looked.

"Oh. Hey,uhhh...."

"You can call me Tashiro when I'm not on duty."

"Alright....I guess you can call me Y/N."

He nodded, offering out his hand. "Hey, lets go get some lunch, on me! My apology for running into you!!" You were about to object, when Tashiro's stomach did a perfect imitation of a whale's mating call. He stuck his hand behind his head and laughed awkwardly.

"Please excuse that! Patrol last night left me running on fumes, I was so tired I couldn't get myself to eat anything! And that's worrying for me!"

What the hell. It was a free lunch right? Maybe the you could afford one more pop figure.

SO here you sat, both of you munching on ungodly amounts of mochi and takoyaki. When Fatgum gets food, he gets the whole kitchens worth. You made small talk, and surprisingly your seething hatred of him for playing into a STUPID FUCKING SYSTEM OF QUIRK OPPRESSION AND FEAR TACTICS!!!!!! Actually ebbed away. He was nice!! And even sent you home with three meals worth of leftovers, promising to visit the cafe for another book for his shy intern. And honestly? You were looking forward to it.

That was the second time you really met Tashiro

It was the fifteenth time Fatgum had returned to the cafe, and the third time he brought both his interns.

"Hey there Y/N! Got any new recommendations for us?" Fatgum and Kirishima grinned mouth-hurting grins, while Amajiki clutched his arms and stared at the floor. You chuckled, and pulled two new manga's you had gotten in yesterday from under the counter. Kirishima grabbed his like a lifeline, flopping on a beanbag you had placed next to the counter. Amajiki simply sat at a table, after thanking you because he has manners, and silently read.

"I've got something a little different for you, Mr.Pro." You pulled a newer book from your personal shelf, Quirks, Quantities, and Queens: A collection of works from the survivors of the Battle of New Castle. The book was your first taste into the injustices of hero society after an en masse villain attack left thousands upon thousand of civilians homeless, defenseless, and in danger. After they began using their quirks to survive and fight back, the state of Delaware mass-arrested anyone caught using their quirk. It was bloody, brutal, and absolutely heartbreaking. "Maybe this will open up your eyes about the society we live in. You also might want to have the tissue ready for the poem by Amaya." you warned, passing him the book. Tashiro was open-minded compared to some of his pro-hero coworkers. He always read every article you sent, and immersed himself in your conversations about the hero world. And often times, he found himself agreeing with you.

"Actually Y/N, I was thinking maybe we could read them together? Maybe grab some snacks and have a little get together like at the mall?" And he just stared at you with his big wide eyes, full of the whatever emotion is similar to please say yes please say yes please say yes.

"I think that sounds great." You said.

"Oh, great! Its a date! WAIT no note a date! Like, a date....on a calendar....that we don't even have yet." He looked like a big, golden retriever who dropped his ball behind the couch. Totally betrayed by his own mouth. You laughed, knowing that Tashiro was not a man to cross boundaries, especially yours.

And that was the seventeenth time you really met Tashiro. And you found yourself enjoying every moment. So you continued to really meet him, and he really met you. Around a year later, he asked you on an official date and the night ended with you becoming his significant other. He took you into his agency, and you could see that this was a man who truly wanted to be a hero to save people, not for the money or the fame. He took you into an office in the back, and handed you a stack of books. It was every book you'd ever given him about quirk discrimination and hero society theory.

"I've uh, gone through all of these at least twice and whipped up a couple changes to the agency's policies I'd like to get your opinion on, what do you think?"

You think you've found someone, one of the last, who really wanted to do good for the sake of doing good. And it warmed your heart just a little bit. After you revised a few of the policies, Fatgum spread them around to several other agencies around Japan, and these policies eventually spread around the globe. The hit social media like wildfire, and you could see small changes here and there that seemed to make things easier on the little guy in the picture. Including the newly named "Heart of a Hero" law. A pro could vouch for any civilian who used their quirk for self-defense or defense of another, and all charges if illegal quirk usage would be dropped.

And you? You mother fucking did that you sexy bitch. You gave Fatgum books one day because he got you some banging mochi, and you butterfly effected a whole ass LAW. How does it feel to be that powerful, anon?

---

tysm for reading, and I hope you like it!!!! I was originally going to go full villain for you, but I preferred to try the "Heart of gold freedom fighter" route and see where that went!!

[rucow]

massive nerevoryn hcs, beware

I have nerevoryn brainworms that torment me day and night, so I answered this ask game under the cut (I did this for myself not for anyone else, pls be nice and ignore it if u don’t like something you see here!)

(A lil clarification: I headcanon Voryn as nonbinary and I use they/them pronouns for them, also they’re ace and afab in my hc, pls look away if that makes u uncomfy) • How did they first meet? They met when Nerevar was hopping from House to House to ask to be supported as Hortator, he just kinda showed up at Voryn's home outta nowhere and was met with 38237 identical serious Dagoth siblings. I can’t think about it without laughing dgsfh

• What was their first impression of each other? Voryn thought Nerevar a fool at first, for coming all the way to Kogoruhn just to ask for political support and to justify /why/ he should be politically supported However, Voryn saw almost instantly that Nerevar was genuine and driven and had strong ambitions for Resdayn, and they ended up agreeing on a lot of things. Meanwhile, Nerevar's first impression of Voryn was...kinda non-existent? He didn't pay much attention to them and didn't differentiate much between Voryn and their siblings. They were all just a bunch of polite goths to him, so he liked them from the beginning 😹

• Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Voryn's family was neutral and maybe a lil cautious, but ultimately didn't interfere at all and they quickly accepted Nerevar as part of their family Nerevar has no family, though I consider Vivec to be his family in some way. But no, Vivec didn't really want them to get together :') (he didn't like Voryn very much in the beginning, he thought they're boring, too serious, and has no sense of humor LOL but he warms up to them after a while.. he won’t stop messing with them tho, bc they’re rly easy to tease and that’s fun) • Who felt romantic feelings first? Voryn did. Nerevar's feelings only started ages later, he's not really the type to sit down and analyze/reflect on his feelings, so he didn't realize he had romantic feelings until they hit him full force LOL • Did either of them try to resist their feelings? Voryn tried, but gave up and opted for hiding their feelings instead of suppressing them 😔 • If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? They would believe it. Nerevar wouldn't immediately assume it means "romantic soulmate" though, he already sees Voryn as a very close friend so the news that they're soulmates makes perfect sense to him. On the other hand, Voryn wouldn't be surprised to find out they're soulmates, but they'd feel like it's a cruel thing to do to them both, since they can't be together openly and in the way that they want to be. It would be heartbreaking to them :’/ • What would their lives be like if they had never met? Voryn's life would've remained quiet and uneventful, most likely. And they wouldn’t have ended up the way they did in canon.  Nerevar is an unpredictable mystery though so I have no idea, maybe he'd go down a different path and take some impulsive bad decisions in his life 🤔 oh wait he already does that nvm • Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go? Nerevar initiated it. Voryn has had feelings for him for a very long time, but at first they didn't want to be in a relationship with Nerevar due to how complicated it would be, but yeah...they couldn't ignore their heart's call, and definitely couldn't refuse Nerevar when he started returning the feelings :') • Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? YEAH!! I have no idea though! It would've been secret but very nice and romantic :'D • What was their first kiss like? It was intimate, and heavy. It was packed full of years of suppressed feelings and wishes. Voryn may have teared up a bit lmao • Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? Nerevar has already had relationships (though nothing long-term) and has had...experience with ppl, in all meanings Nerevar WAS Voryn's first everything though! Mainly because Voryn has never had much interest in ppl before, and just the thought of kissing grosses them out, unless it’s with the right person ofc uwu • What’s their height difference? Age difference? Nerevar is 6'1 and Voryn is 5′6-5'7, they're the same age though! • What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Nerevar likes the dagoths. They don’t pry into his business (ahem, affair*) with Voryn and they always welcome him to Kogoruhn with no problem (aka they tolerate his out-of-nowhere appearances and occassional odd behavior). He finds it a bit unsettling that Voryn has so many siblings but he doesn’t question it. Voryn tries to get along with Vivec, even tho the younger makes it difficult. Voryn is an older sibling, so they have the patience to deal with a younger moodier mer who’s hellbent on disliking them for no reason LOL • Who takes the lead in social situations? Nerevar does, Voryn is really awkward at socializing and hates doing it too 😹 • Who gets jealous easier? They both do, but their jealousy manifests in different ways. Nerevar is much more vocal/open about it. Voryn doesn't give him any reasons to be jealous tho, at least not on purpose 🤧 • Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? UHH neither of them does 😳 ...unless they've been drinking, then they both do it fjdhsn (Voryn won’t say anything explicit tho, just rly cheesy declarations of love or something SOBS) • Who said “I love you” first? Voryn said it first, but only after Nerevar had already confessed his feelings :’) they needed to be sure they wouldn’t get rejected bc that would just break their heart tbh • Who uses cheesy pick-up lines? Both do, but they mean it in all seriousness, and they believe every word the other says. • How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? PDA is a big no-no for obvious reasons, unless it's only around trustworthy ppl like Alandro Sul and Voryn's family. Yes, Alan my boi is chill with all of this hehe • Who initiates kisses? Nerevar. He's very touchy uwu • Who’s the big and little spoon? Nere's the big spoon, usually. Voryn's like...a stick...though they can get clingy in their sleep /sobs • What are their favorite things to do together? Having time to spend together is rare for them, so they treasure every little moment they have. They both prefer spending time completely alone with one another, somewhere far and secluded where they can’t see or hear any other people. Nerevar needs moments of quietness to recharge after dealing with so many ppl in his daily affairs, so he really appreciates Voryn’s company bc their energy is very calming and they’re just quiet and pleasant in general.... they’re the type to sit in comfortable silence and just lean on one another as the world fades around them :’) • Who’s better at comforting the other? They know each other very well, so they're both amazing at comforting each other, except it's a lot easier for Voryn to comfort Nerevar solely because Voryn isn't as open about their emotions as he is, and doesn't want to worry Nerevar with anything, so they keep their emotions/pain private much more than Nerevar does. Nere's more open about things that bother him and spills his soul out to Voryn often lol • Who’s more protective? Oh gosh they are both overprotective of one another, they live dangerous lives after all. However, Voryn's the type to get physically sick by worrying over Nerevar's well-being... Nerevar doesn't handle it any better tho, he would become very spooky and destructive if anything happened to Voryn 👀 • Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? Nerevar prefers verbal affection from Voryn, because he knows Voryn’s words are always truthful. Voryn prefers physical affection from Nerevar though, because they know he uses verbal affection with a lot of people, so the physical kind feels more personal and genuine to them u_u • What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise? ... I must warn u. my taste in music is maybe TOO happy/sappy for these two, but anyway.. here u go (all these songs are from Voryn’s POV): 1. the lyrics and overall aesthetic and feel of this song.. it suits them in my hc a lot :’( 2. by the same singer, this song HHNGN the lyrics just make me think of how voryn sees nerevar 3. something even more light-hearted... sorry there’s no eng subs but trust me the lyrics are beautiful, the bridge especially makes me cry it’s so pretty.. and 「美しい心を持っている、ずっとこの海よりも深い」 😭 BASICALLY ANY LOVE SONGS MAKE ME THINK OF THEM 😭😭 • Who remembers the little things? Voryn's memory is impeccable. Nerevar is kinda airheaded, he doesn't remember things consciously but he remembers them in his heart • If they get married, who proposes? Voryn does! Though it's not a typical proposal, because their relationship isn't typical either. They simply propose that they both should undergo a ritual to bring them (more specifically, their souls) closer together... It’s the same ritual that Voryn’s mother did to their father, and they learned it from her before she disappeared/passed • What’s the wedding like? Who attends? It's a secret one, so no one attends it besides the two. It's not a wedding though, it's more like a romantic ritual conducted by Voryn themself, where they link their souls/hearts together :') it happens at nighttime in a secluded place, probably a cave with an open sky... somewhere in nature far away from any civilization • How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like? They have one very rambunctious but sweet daughter! She inherits a LOT of Nerevar’s looks and personality, even his ideals and stuff (once she grows up) • Do they have any pets? Nerevar doesn't have any, but he loves animals. Voryn's home has plenty of domestic animals/creatures though, much to Nerevar's joy 👌 (yes I hc the dagoths to be farmers bc I love the thought of a goth farm) • Who’s the stricter parent? Voryn. Though they're still very mild, just. more cautious about parenting than Nerevar is?? And unlike him, they actually teach their kid manners djfnsf • Who kills the bugs in the house? VORYN. They have no fear of bugs and actually know how to handle them really well! • How do they celebrate holidays? Not together :'( </3 • Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning? Voryn. Nerevar's an early morning person, while Voryn just wants to be lazy and stay in bed until noon. Voryn has sleepy b* disease • Who’s the better cook? Dare I say both??? >:)c Voryn likes baking more than cooking though, so when they have the time for it, they like treating Nerevar with sweets u_u✨ Nerevar doesn’t really have a sweet tooth though, he’ll just engulf anything that Voryn or their family cooks LOL

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

[sweetleaf-cafe]

Hi would it be alright to get a cake for aot and obey me? Pronouns are she/her. I'm 18 and 5,2'. I have brown hair to my shoulders and I'm fairly lean cause I workout quite a lot. I don't wear makeup or dress up I just kindof wear dark casual clothes like all my jumpers and leggings are black.

My personality type is ISTJ. I'm brave, loyal and I love to laugh. I'm a slytherin. I'm only like this when I open up to you and let you in my life tho and I don't do that with most people I'm very closed off. I'm cautious of everyone and just try to go about unnoticed (if I have to go out in public). I hate most people and just like to be alone. I love nature, wildlife, indie music and psychological horror.

My hobbies include figure skating, gymnastics and roller skating. I used to do competitive gymnastics and have won several medals.

My love languages are quality time mainly but also physical touch but I wouldn't be caught dead asking for it too embarrassing lol.

sorry if that's too long hope it's okay :)

Don't worry about the length, the more information you give us, the easier and more we're able to write! And thank you so much for sending us your request!!!! We hope that you continue to enjoy our work! If there is something here that does not meet your satisfaction, please let us know, we would be happy to work with you!

For Attack on Titan, I match you with Levi! First off, appearance wise, Levi would be glad to have someone who is fit. He likes that you're capable enough to protect yourself in such a dangerous world.  Secondly, he may not particularly care about height too much, but may occasionally tease you about it. Usually an off-handed comment that may be followed by a smile. However, this is unlikely to happen in front of other people, specifically Hange. Yet despite his attempts to not let Hange get involved, they do anyways. While Levi hadn't gone out of his way to keep your relationship a secret, he hadn't really mentioned it to anyone other than Erwin. (Who had probably set you two up in the first place.) Still, as soon as Hange catches wind of what's up (if they hadn't been the one helping Erwin, lol), the teasing will begin. And it WILL be blatant. If people didn't know about your relationship, by now, they will have. It started with Hange catching a glimpse of Levi smiling around you. They instantly knew what was up. Before you know it, the both of you get stuck in a locked room together, and the only people with the key out is Erwin and Hange! Lucky you, Erwin is incredibly busy with meetings. And the latter is currently on a mission and will likely not return until the next day. (R.I.P. Hange when he gets out.) Still, Levi would fall for you for several reasons. The first of which, he'll find your honesty and directness as an ISTJ quite refreshing. Your opinion is one of the few he actually values and is prefers you being honest with him. Then, he'll find your responsibility to be another trait that he very much likes in you. Levi is someone who would put a lot of trust into his s/o, and so having someone he knows he can rely on to get the job done is important to him. He'll also respect your practical nature, though he may not often mention it specifically, it'll show in the way that he treats you and puts his trust in you. Your bravery is something he'll respect you for, but also causes an inkling of worry for him. He doesn't want you to get hurt because of it. However, he'll come to the conclusion that you're already quite capable. Still, his worries won't ever really fade, because more than anything, he fears losing you too. When it comes to your loyalty, you can count on that loyalty being returned as well. Once Levi has fallen for you, he won't ever betray you. On the other hand, this loyalty can also make him consider leaving you. It's simply that he's used to those around him getting hurt or killed, and he doesn't want to lose you too. Still, each time he sees you walk in the door, perfectly safe, all thoughts of breaking up dissipate. Following that, he loves your laugh. Levi likely won't outright and say it, but the way he softens, even just a bit, when he hears you laugh. There will be many moments of just soft moments of enjoying each other's company. There won't really be all that much talking, you're just together. He understands not wanting to open up to people, and will respect that. He'll wait for you to open up to him when you're ready, if you want to. Levi will also make sure to give you space when you need it. While Levi is not especially fond of nature and wildlife, he feels himself more drawn to you because of it. There's just something about it that feels right. Levi may also find himself intrigued by psychological horror, and would converse with you about it. It likely becomes a common source of conversation. He is also glad that you're athletic, but often worries about you getting hurt through such things. Despite that, he'll support you, but be prepared for several comments regarding your safety and the importance of keeping your head. Should Levi actually see you doing gymnastics or figure skating, you'll be able to see that he's proud of you. Also, should you ever go roller skating around him, it will likely be you skating circles around him as he goes shopping for cleaning supplies. Levi will often be away from you, due to work, but what time he does have with you won't be taken

for granted. He understands your wish for quality time, and shares in that. So you won't lack fond memories of each other even when you're apart. As far as physical affection, Levi is also partial to it. Though another that isn't really one to openly ask for it. Still, given time, he'll start giving you physical affection, it will likely start small. Like him brushing your hand with his own, or touching your hair. Eventually, he'll start cuddling with you, and will enjoy holding you. He'll probably laugh a bit when he finds out about your lack of inclination to ask for affection. Overall, your relationship is one of trust and respect, but also of worry and care. It's sweet, but not overly so, just the right amount.

For Obey Me!, I match you with Diavolo! First off, Diavolo thinks you're straight up adorable. There's no getting out of it, your appearance and height is very cute to him. He'll enjoy giving you bear hugs and lightly teasing you about it. He's proud of you for your fitness and will let you know that too. He doesn't mind that you don't wear make up or anything, and is rather fond of your personal style. Your braveness and loyalty are certainly values in you. When it comes to your bravery, Diavolo will certainly be happy with you. Though he'll also worry about you getting hurt, and so might be a bit overprotective. When he really sees how loyal you are, his heart might just burst. He really really cares already, but knowing that that care is returned makes him elated. When Diavolo sees your ambition as a Slytherin, he'll get this wide, happy smile. He understands wanting to accomplish something and will encourage you to follow your dreams. If he can, he'll try to help you, if you let him. He'll respect your honesty and integrity, and will certainly return such treatment. Diavolo will certainly do his best to not lie to you, but he still has his secrets that he will mostly keep to himself. He's glad that you're also very responsible, (well, at least Barbatos will be.) and another thing he'll respect you for. But might pout if you stop him from trying to get out of work. Still, such "transgressions", are easily forgiven and not really taken seriously. He'll understand being cautious around others, as he IS the Prince of Devildom. And will encourage you to remain cautious, especially when around demons. Still, he'll want you to be open with him. Despite that, he's also quite patient and wants you to open up to him naturally, if you want to at all. If you really seem like you want nothing to do with him, given some effort, he'll back off. When you show him how you like nature and wildlife, he'll be enamored. He's certainly the type to really get into it too. By this point, it's pretty common to see Diavolo running up to you talking to you about something he read about that's related. (Of course, with Barbatos briskly walking with slightly murderous intent in his eyes after him and Lucifer getting a breakout from how chaotic it is.) He's also intrigued by psychological horror, it's something he'll likely already be kinda into. Diavolo will often try to talk to you about such topics, and isn't one to be easily creeped out, so makes a great person to talk to about such things. Diavolo will be very excited the first time he sees you figure skate. He's incredibly impressed, he'll easily become your biggest supporter. If you teach him and do it together, then he'll be over the moon about it. (Lucifer and Barbatos definitely get dragged into watching you guys.) And when he finds about about you doing gymnastics? His respect for you went up by 100%. He's seen how difficult it can be, and is really proud of you already. And once he's seen you were in competitive gymnastics and won several medals, he's dumbstruck. But in a good way, just purely amazed by how he's managed to meet someone so awesome. If you guys do roller skating together, it will be pure adorableness. He might struggle a bit when he first starts, but once he gets a hang of it, don't be surprised when you randomly see the Prince of Devildom randomly roller skating around everywhere. (He may or may not be fleeing Barbatos.) Though you may have to convince him to not use them to run away from Barbatos, lest they get taken away. Still, when you roller skate together, it will be very fluffy. (You've probably ended up dunked in a fountain at least once.) For Diavolo, he'll often buy elaborate, expensive gifts, as he certainly doesn't lack the funds. It's just one of the ways he tends to show he cares, however, if such things make you uncomfortable, you can get him to back off a bit. But if you wear something or he sees you using something he got for you, it will certainly brighten his day. (It's a major boost to his pride.) And he's happy to spend time with you,

will honestly want to spend time together whenever possible. Still, Diavolo will also understand your need for personal space and will do his very best to respect your boundaries.   When it comes to physical touch, count him in. Even if you don't outright ask for it, he'll be the sort to want to be close to you. So expect plenty of hugs, headpats, handholding, he can be very touchy. There are many moments where you just spend time cuddling, these moments can be full of giggles and bits of chatter, but are also often quiet and calming. In general, being in a relationship with Diavolo is extremely sweet, and more often than not, chaotic.

[moghedien]

Love Me, Love Me - An Overly Obsessive Analysis of All You Wanna Do

     Here it is. I’m finally writing a far too long and overly analytic essay that no body asked for (well one person did) about All You Wanna Do from Six the Musical. More realistically, I’m going to discussing Katherine Howard throughout the musical and specifically how she manipulates the audience throughout the show to make All You Wanna Do all the more effective. I use the word manipulate and will probably do so again, which has a negative connotation, but I don’t mean it in a negative way. It’s just the most effective word to use. I should also note that I’ve never seen Six…live. I may have happened upon some less than legal video, and all of the knowledge I’ll be pulling from beyond the cast recording and some audios will be from that. I know it was an earlier show and that there have been some changes since then, and I don’t have any way of knowing what those changes are so please bear with me if some details aren’t completely correct or still accurate. I do have every intention to see a production of Six eventually, but I live in the very, very Deep American South, so getting to a city where its playing is gonna take some time. Also, due to the nature of this song, I’m putting a heavy content warning for sexual assault, child grooming, pedophilia, etc. If you’ve listened to the song, you know what its about, so you know I’m going to be discussing all that.

     Now that the preliminary disclaimers are out of the way, let’s begin.

     From the beginning of the show, Katherine Howard is trying to win the audience over more than any other Queen. They’re trying in various ways, yes, but Howard is the one putting the most work in beyond just trying to make herself look better or justify herself to them. From her introduction in Ex-Wives she’s doing this. She interrupts Cleves’s dick joke with “Prick up your ears,” turning Cleves’s joke that probably would have landed somewhat, and making it her joke that definitely lands with the audience. After Ex-Wives, she looks directly at the audience when she delivers the line “The Thomas Cromwell Amongst the Royal Ministers, between 1532 and 1540” which is a line that only works because it goes on too long and is weirdly detailed and specific enough to be funny. She looks and points at people in the front row when she says “between 1532 and 1540” as an acknowledgement that she’s breaking from her stage persona for a moment to give them this line, and that sells it to the crowd. They know that she’s purposely being overly detailed and they’re with her. It’s not expected, especially not from her, and so its funny. The entire goal of K Howard throughout this show is the make sure that the audience stays with her and to use what people expect from her to her own advantage and, at some points, against them.

     Really, that’s the goal of all the Queens to win over the audience, but the rest approach it differently. Aragon tries to convince the audience that she’s right and therefore deserves to win the competition. Boleyn tries to make her whole situation out to be ridiculous (including the fact that she got beheaded). Both of them heavily fall into basically going “can you believe what Henry did?” And I mean, neither of them is wrong. Seymour tries to pull on heartstrings and play into love and loss. Cleves…is interesting. Cleves is basically just there to prove that she’s above Henry and his nonsense. Parr I’m not really going to touch on, because her song is more a reaction to everyone else and the scene that happens after Howard gets “real” with her song. The other queens will occasionally interject to try to further win people over to their side, but they do so using the same point they were making in their song. They aren’t subtle about it, though they try to be. To the audience, though, its always clear what they’re doing, and for the most part that’s the joke. The one who actually is subtle about it, though, is Howard.

     Being the fifth wife, Howard goes second to last. She knows this, and knows she can’t dump her trauma on the audience before her song, so what does she do make her case throughout the show, before she gets her shot in the spotlight? She makes sure the audience is on her side already by the time it gets to her. She steals Cleves’s punchline. She makes winky jokes with the audience and acknowledges that she’s doing so. She’s overall charming and she never once tries to convince them to be on her side in the competition, or at least never makes it seem like that’s what she’s doing. She just wants them to laugh at her jokes and like her, but that has nothing to do with the competition, surely? Well, considering she uses these exact same methods in her song, you can assume that this is an intentional manipulation. Again, I don’t mean manipulation maliciously, but she’s definitely making the audience want to like her before she even begins her story. But that’s for more reason than just winning the competition. 

     When it does get to her turn, the other queens try to again interject with their own points (the same points they’ve already made) and belittle her. It’s actually somewhat interesting because you can see Howard trying to speak up before Parr tells them it’s her turn, but she seems kind of meek in the background as the other queens bicker amongst themselves. Even after Parr has to kind of push her forward because its her turn, she looks intimidated. She seems to be trying to make herself small, and she’s holding onto the microphone like it’s a security blanket. She actually looks nervous, and she’s right in the middle of the stage, so all of the audience sees her being frightened and will probably feel for her in that moment. She looks like someone who needs help. 

     Then she begins roasting the other queens like chestnuts upon an open fire. It begins with their “Good luck trying to compete with us” to which she responds “You’re right, I mean your lives all sounded terrible, and your songs…” and then she shrinks back into her meek, awkward pose a moment before adding “…do a lot to convey that.” She’s using the sympathy she gained with the audience to pull off that joke, because they see that she’s being bashful but then she just pulls off this burn in the middle of that bashfullness. So they feel sympathy for K Howard, who’s already been charming throughout the show, who’s being shy now, but still manages to be funny. So the audience is with her already. Then she goes to the queens one by one and points out holes in their claims to having the Worst Time, but she does it in a humorous way. She does it in a way that makes the audience feels like it’s for them. She even looks at the audience when she gets to Parr, making a “can you believe her?” expression at them instead of actually addressing Parr. Howard is with the audience and the audience is with Howard. Its never been more true than in this moment.

     When she gets to Cleves, she doesn’t insult Cleves in any way and instead decides to use the moment brag about herself. Not in a way that has anything to do with Henry or the competition. “Being rejected for your looks legit sounds terrible. I wouldn’t know anything about that.” And its not Cleves she’s addressing at this point, because again, she’s speaking to the audience when she says “Look at me, I’m really fit,” and in the version I saw, there are lots of cheers at this. People were whistling at her. People not only agree with everything she’s saying now, but they love her.

     And then we get to her song. She drops her song like its her mic drop saying she has no idea how she’s going to compete with other queens. “Oh wait, like this” and the lights drop and the music starts and it’s a big seamless conclusion to the roast. Only its not the conclusion, you’re only just beginning, and haven’t even begun to realize what Howard is doing to manipulate you to make her point.  

     So Howard uses the audience in a way that others don’t do in their songs. In Aragon and Seymour’s songs, they act as though Henry is their audience. Boleyn and Cleves acknowledge the actual audience more, but its still as part of the song. Certain moments will be sung to specific audience members, but its only moments and again, its sung. It’s part of the song. Howard, on the other hand, doesn’t sing all of her story. A lot it’s a conversation with the audience; she’s telling them a story, and she’ll stop her song occasionally to continue the conversation. Bear with me, because I’ll be going line by line now.

     She opens by speaking to the audience:

“I think we can all agree

I'm the ten amongst these threes”

     And that’s both bold and presumptive, but by this point, she’s won over the audience. They do agree with her. They like her. They think she’s funny. They think she’s hot. And these lines aren’t only meant to boost her, but it gets the audience to belittle the other queens by agreeing with her. It’s also one last reminder that she’s on their side and they’re on hers. One last reminder that they can trust where she’s going to take them, and she trusts them.

And ever since I was a child

I'd make the boys go wild

 Take my first music teacher

Henry Manox

I was young, it's true

But even then I knew

The only thing you wanna do is...

     She starts out speaking these lines, then begins singing them as she goes on. Note the last three lines in particular. She’s going to mention her age again in a moment, but before she even gets to the exacts of that, she’s telling you that “even then she knew.” So she’s making it clear right off the bat that she at least wants us to think she knows what people want from her. Also note she’s not saying “the only thing men want” or “the only think Henry Manox wanted.” She’s using you. I’m going to go more on that later, but her switch between third and second person pronouns is interesting. Also she doesn’t ever finish the sentence of what it is “you” wants to do. You’re forced to fill in the blanks by the kiss and breath she gives instead of the completion of the sentence. Again, more on that in a moment.

Broad, dark, sexy Mannox

Taught me all about dynamics

He was twenty three

And I was thirteen going on thirty

    This is the first real indication that something’s off. This is also the first place that a lot of people will stop and think “wait what did she just say?” I remember the first time I listened to the song, I definitely noted the ages and I definitely was disgusted. In the live versions I’ve heard, Howard’s voice will fall a little when she says “I was 13” but she’ll immediately pick up again and add “going on 30” like it’s a joke that she’s telling everyone. Sometimes people laugh at it. Sometimes they don’t. When they do, it’s either that they don’t take in what she’s saying or it’s an awkward, uncomfortable reaction. A “oh ok that was a joke then?” It makes people uncomfortable, especially since she begins the verse by describing Manox as “Broad, dark, sexy.” She’s making him sound appealing, suggests that she finds him appealing right before dropping the fact that she was 13 and he was 23. That’s information she can’t drop and have it be ok without either breezing past it and hoping you don’t notice, or making light of it and trying to say it was ok. Howard does both of these, which makes it so that she doesn’t really accomplish either effectively. It sounds wrong. You, the audience, notice it, but you still go past it and keep watching/listening to the rest of her song.

We'd spend hours strumming the lute

Striking the chords and blowing the flute

He plucked my strings all the way to G

Went from major to minor, C to D

    This happens immediately after the age reveal, in the same verse. Howard just blows past the age thing and starts to make it clear the relationship was sexual. She tries to convince the audience that she was on board. She puts herself in an active role saying “We’d spend hours” but then two lines later puts only him in the active role. A subtle thing, but it’s as if she can't keep up the claim that they were both active, willing participants in this. Her tone is still suggesting that everything is fine, that she’s on board and being taken care of in some way. Look, she’s so much more excited and outgoing than she was earlier when she was standing meekly in the middle of the stage, so she’s probably ok. 

Tell me what you need

What you want, you don't need to plead

    She changes who’s she’s addressing here. She’s no longer talking to the audience, or at least makes it seem like she isn’t at first glance. She’s talking to Manox, and frames it as if she’s trying to reassure him. “You don’t need to plead” suggests that he is pleading, which is a weird way to frame a 23 year old man trying to pressure a 13 year old girl to have sex with him. But this is coming from the point of view is of the 13 year old girl, who’s already been trying to put herself in an active role in this. But note that she’s never actually saying “this is something I want,” and instead saying “this is something he needs.” She’s not framing herself as “needing” anything, but instead trying to make herself understanding to his supposed needs. She makes it seem like she’s doing something for him, again putting herself in an active role. Making it seem like this was something she decided to do. 

'Cause I feel the chemistry

Like I get you and you get me

    And now she’s explaining why she’s “deciding” to do this. She feels a chemistry with Manox. He gets her. You get her, because she’s still using second person when referring to Manox. Manox still isn’t he anymore. Manox is you. And isn’t it interesting that she’s putting you (the audience) in Manox’s role when she’s been addressing you and building up a rapport with you (the audience) for the entire show? She gets the audience and the audience gets her, right?

And maybe this is it

He just cares so much it feels legit

    She switches back to third person now, removing any suggestion that she might be referring to anyone but Manox. Because now she’s trying to justify this. To herself. To you the audience. It’s ok if she “lets” him do this because he might be The One, right? He seems to care for her, so wouldn’t this be caring for him? Didn’t she already say that she understands that he needs this? If she’s letting him, then it’s not bad...right?

We have a connection

I think this guy is different

    Ah, the first “connection.” This is the part in the song where Howard gets touched for the first time. It’s not too much. Parr and Seymour stand in either side of her, facing away from the audience, and they put their hands in her shoulders. You might not even realize that they’re doing it at first. Howard doesn’t seem bothered by it, and doesn’t acknowledge it. She looks at the audience while two people put hands on her and she sings that “this guy is different.” And the audience watches still, witnessing all that’s happening. The two people touching her are looking away from you, clearly not wanting to be seen, but still clearly doing it.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is please me squeeze me birds and the bees me

   The first chorus, and I should note the music at this point is very pop-y. It’s upbeat. It’s happy and gives you no reason to think anything’s off at this point.

     So for the chorus, Howard switches back to second person. All YOU wanna do is touch her. All YOU wanna do is love her. It’s obvious that the “you” here is Manox, but the frequent switches from “you” to “he” is disorienting, especially since she goes on to address the audience directly immediately after the chorus. So it’s not so much that she’s addressing You the Audience instead of Manox, and what she’s actually doing is making Manox a part of You the Audience. She’s focusing on him for now, but don’t these claims also apply to the audience? They cheered and whistled she said she was really fit. They laughed and agreed when she said she was a ten. They’ve been on her side every time she made a claim like that. So while You the Audience may not be Manox, Manox is among you, and you have some things in common with him. That combined with the plucky, pop music doesn’t seem bad right now. The audience doesn’t even notice the 23 year old man in their midst that is forcing sex on a 13 year old, especially since the 13 doesn’t seem to be suffering or anything. Look at her, she’s fine and she’s encouraging it, isn’t she? She seems happy. You’ve seen what it looks like when she’s afraid. And let’s be clear “birds and the bees me” leaves no illusion as to exactly what’s going on. She’s telling you what’s going on, so there’s no way to deny that or suggest otherwise. You know what’s happening. 

Run your fingers through my hair

Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

    Last part of the chorus, and I wanted to separate it to point out the language. The language isn’t inherently aggressive or violent here. “Run your fingers through my hair” that’s almost nothing. We know what’s going on because the lines above tell us it IS sexual, but this is rather tame for the most part. The accompanying music is rather tame too, and still perky. The “fairest of the fair” allusion adds fairy tale language and the next line “playtimes over” here work together to reinforce the impression that she’s 13 here. She’s a kid who thinks that this man might be Prince Charming. She tells herself it’s romantic, it’s a fairy tale. But then playtime is over. The line repeats through each chorus but here it has two meanings: Manox is done with her, and childhood is done. She may not even realize the latter yet. She may not even realize that this man hurt her, but this man who “felt legit” and might have been “it” is clearly done with her. The only thing he/you wanted was to....

  She never actually directly says sex, but she makes every possible reference she can to make it clear that sex occurred. But she can never finish the line “the only thing you wanna do is...” She can never bring herself to claim it. Instead she just blows a kiss and makes you figure out the rest. The only thing you/Manox wanted was sex, and when he got it he was done. You know that. She knows it but can’t completely acknowledge it and make it real. It’s obvious though, and the audience is still watching this happen.

    So for the next lines, I’m going to use the spoken dialogue from the show rather than the cast recording because I think it provides better context.

[Spoken]

So then there was another guy, Francis. And at the time I was living at my step-grandma’s house and he was working for her. Working so, so hard. So he asked me to be his little piece of ass...sistant.

  So Howard speaks these lines rather than sing them. As I mentioned already, she’s the only queen who really stops her song multiple times to turn to the audience and talk to them. But she isn’t only acknowledging them, she’s giving them a story. She’s providing context. She’s being friendly with them. Yes, she’s the one performing on stage, but she knows that the audience is there and she knows what they want, and she’s so willing to please. To give people the entertainment and the story they want. It’s like she wants to make sure that the audience really understands. 

    So to get to what Howard actually says here, she just breezes past Manox and moves onto the next guy. She doesn’t let herself dwell on Manox any longer and quickly rushes forward and onto Francis. The context for Francis, like Manox, is unsettling. She’s living with her step-grandmother and her grandmother’s adult secretary turns his attention on her and gets her to “help” him. However, like with Manox, she makes a joke about it. She acknowledges that he wants her around so that he can objectify and sexualize her. She uses that fact as a punchline, and people do laugh at the line. Even when she’s clearly saying “he employed me because he wanted to have sex with me” the audience laughs, because her joke was funny, she seems to be fine, and she has a happy tone as she’s saying all of this. Manox didn’t turn out that bad, did he? She still seems happy, doesn’t she? The audience is still watching, aren’t they?

Serious, stern and slow

Get's what he wants and he won't take no

Passion in all that he touches

The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess

     A few things here. Howard’s tone is still meant to make it seem like she was into this, like these are attractive attributes of Francis, but literally the only positive words here are “passion” and “sexy.” She’s literally telling you that he doesn’t take no for an answer. She’s also pointing out again the Dowager Duchess, her step grandmother. The woman who was supposed to be in charge of keeping an eye on her, but didn’t. The woman who definitely could have given Francis the boot or made sure, at the very least, that he didn’t make Howard his “piece of ass…sistant.” It’s not something that happened once and no one could have known about it. Howard mentions the woman twice, pointing out her prominence here. A woman who probably saw what was going on and did nothing, or who decided not to actually see what was going on and still did nothing. Who else is seeing what’s going on right now and doing nothing?

Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil

He even let me use his favourite quill

spilled ink all over the parchment

my wrist was so tired

Still I came back the next day

as he required

     So Howard is again making it perfectly clear what’s going on without actually having to say it. If you didn’t get it at “his favorite quill” and “spilled ink all over the parchment,” you probably get it when she says “my wrist was so tired” which she speaks instead of sings and delivers it as if it’s a joke line. But then the next lines are “Still I came back the next day/as he required.” Her use of the word “still” really makes it clear how much agency she had in the situation, though at this point she’s still mostly trying to claim an active role in everything. What she’s saying here is “he made me do this and I did, but look, I still came back the next day.” You don’t say “still I came back” when you’re in a pleasant situation. The illusion she’s trying to create is starting to slip some. She’s starting to have trouble painting all of this out as something she enjoyed and chose.

You say I'm what you need

All you want you don't need to plead

'Cause I feel the chemistry

Like I get you and you get me

     This bit of the pre-chorus is nearly identical to what she says about Manox, and again she slips into second person. Instead of her asking you/Francis what you need like she did with Manox, though, you/Francis are telling her. She’s not acting, but being acted upon. Still, she has to reassure that you/Francis don’t need to plead because obviously you have chemistry. And you/Francis get her. So, the “you” now consist of Manox, Francis, and the audience. Those two men are among the people watching this whole thing go down.

And I know this is it

He just cares so much this one's legit

We have a real connection

I'm sure this time is different

     So the language here is notably different than it was with Manox. First I want to point out that this is the first indication from Howard herself that something with Manox was wrong. She’s “sure this time is different” meaning that she’s trying to convince herself that this time won’t be like last time. But she seemed so happy and into what happened last time? I mean, anyone with enough common sense to know that a 23 year old man should not be with a 13 year old would know that something was wrong, but Howard gave no indication herself that anything was wrong. Up until right now, retrospectively. And again, at the word connection, two of the queens touch her shoulders, grabbing her while they face away from the audience, wanting to remain anonymous while doing it.

     What she is doing is trying to convince herself that this time, its ok. Whereas before she thinks they have a connection, now she knows. She doesn’t think this guy is different, she’s sure this time is different. Francis doesn’t just feel legit, he is legit. She’s telling both the audience and herself, “last time was bad but this time is real and fine!” And yet, we continue.  

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me love me can't get enough see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

You can't wait a second more

To get my corset on the floor

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

     The only lines in the chorus that aren’t identical to the first are “You can’t wait a second more/to get my corset on the floor” replacing the lines about telling her she’s the fairest of the fair. So the line that alludes to fairy tales gets replaced with a line about her getting naked. Meaning that the previous line that suggests her youth and wasn’t inherently sexual is replaced with a line that directly sexualizes her. She’s not that much older here than she was when the Manox incident occurred, but ever since the incident with Manox occurred, playtime has been over. The repetition of that reminds you of that, and again, suggests that Francis is done with her once he gets what he wants.

[Spoken]

So yeah, that didn’t work out. Turns out some guys just employ women to get them into their private chambers. Different time back then. So I decided to take a break from boys. Focus on my career, and my dad got me this amazing work placement in court and you’ll never guess who I met.

     This time Howard does acknowledge that “that didn’t work out.” She acknowledges directly that her impressions about Francis were wrong. She was sure about him. She phrased everything in absolutes, not hypotheticals, and it still “didn’t work out.” But Howard is still working the audience here. She’s glib, makes it sound like a joke. Then drops the line “Turns out some guys just employ women to get them into their private chambers. Different time back then.” That may be the most important line here. It’s a joke, but one that we get because we know its ironic and not accurate. We know now more than ever that men still hire women to “get them into their private chambers.” We know that in this instance, times aren’t different. This still happens, and its something that has been ignored and not talked about until very recently. Howard knows that we know this. She knows that “different times back then” will land, and she uses that line and that knowledge to connect what has happened and will continue to happen to her to those abuses we know about now. We know those things happen, and they happened to Howard back then too, and we’re still just watching it happen to her.

     So this is where the song also really starts to shift. She says that she’s taking a break from boys and focusing on her career. She gets a good job. She stops sexualizing the situation and trying to justify what’s going to happen before hand. She’s starting to realize what she actually wants, and that’s to have a good job at court. She’s making career choices, not marital choices. She is now making the decision herself that she doesn’t want men or a relationship, but a job.

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth

Supreme head of the Church of England

Globally revered

Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

     How she introduces Henry is already different. She attempted to sexualize the prior two men and make them sound appealing. In most audios I heard, Howard pauses between “large” and “Henry the Eight,” as if she’s trying to come up with some more appealing way to describe him but she can’t. The best descriptions she has is “he’s big and the head of a religion. Some people like him and his beard is funny.” Very sexy description. It’s like she can’t even make herself sexualize him. With the others she could at least tell herself that they were attractive so she must be interested in them. Not with Henry.

Made me a lady in waiting

Hurled me and my family up in the world

Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true

That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

     Still, Howard is doing nothing to attempt to sexualize Henry. She’s not even suggesting that their relationship was sexual or romantic, whereas before she was explicit about the sexual natures of her relationships. She’s talking about a job. He gave her a job. He elevated her family by giving her a high placement in court, and clearly its because she deserves it, as he says he doesn’t know what he’d do without her. She’s doing nothing to build to the marriage that we know is coming. She’s doing nothing to romanticize this. She’s here to have a career. She wants to do her job, and she’s proud that she seems to be doing such good work and making Henry (her boss in this situation) pleased with her work.

You say I'm what you need

All you want we both agree

This is the place for me

I'm finally where I'm meant to be

     These lines are, to me, maybe the saddest in the entire song. Worse than the chorus about Thomas Culpepper even. Howard has done nothing up until this point to suggest that she and Henry’s relationship is sexual or would become sexual. She’s been talking about her job in court. These lines, unlike with the previous two men, don’t read as if she’s trying to agree to their sexual advances. They read as if she’s meeting with her boss. They read as if she’s interviewing for a job or a promotion. She’s what he needs in court. They both agree that court is the place for her. And she’s finally realized that this, the work she does in court, is what she wants. Not a relationship with a man. She doesn’t even seem to comprehend that Henry could go after her. As she said earlier, she’s focusing on her career. Then Henry comes to her with this and she thinks they’re on the same page. But they’re definitely not talking about the same things.

     And once again, she’s making Henry a part of you. He’s in the audience with the other two. You, the audience, came here knowing what would happen. Howard is only here because Henry did go after her and married her. You know this. You know where he’s going with this. And you’re watching her not realize what’s happening until she accidentally agrees to this and gets into the situation. You’re still watching. You’re still with Manox and Francis and now, you’re with Henry.

Then he starts saying all this stuff

He cares so much he calls me love

     Now Howard is realizing that Henry wasn’t talking about her career. He was saying that he needs to be with her. And for the first time, we get no indication about exactly what’s going on except “he starts saying all this stuff.” But he does seem to care, doesn’t he? He calls her love, doesn’t he? That’s not nothing, right? That has to mean something. She legitimately struggles with this, because two of the queens try to touch her shoulders again, and she swats them away. She can’t even make it seem like she’s interested. The “he cares so much” is a half hearted attempt to comfort herself.

He says we have this connection

I guess it's not so different

     At this connection, two of the other queens grab her shoulders like they did before, but another comes from behind and puts an arm around her waist. She doesn’t see it happen and she can’t do anything to break away because she’s literally being held. But this time she isn’t the one saying they have a connection. He is saying they have a connection. She doesn’t seem to agree, and she has to tell herself that this relationship isn’t so different from the previous ones, and also that this outcome isn’t so different from what she wanted. Isn’t being queen like a promotion? But she literally has to use the two times she previously taken advantage of by older men to comfort her in this situation. It’s not so different from those times. This time it’s just your boss who is also your king, the head of your religion, physically imposing and by all accounts repulsive and sickly, about 33 years older than you, has a daughter that’s older than you, and also beheaded one of his previous wives who happens to be your first cousin. It’s not THAT different.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

There's no time for when or how 'cause you

Just got to have me now

Playtime's over

The only thing you wanna do is...

     Before I even get into the language here, I’m want to talk about the choreography of this verse. Howard all but stops dancing. She’s pretty much just standing there, occasionally shifting or making a hand gesture, but she’s not dancing. She looks like someone who is trying to look like they’re dancing but failing terribly at it. She just looks so defeated. Before she could go along with it, or at least seem like she’s going along with it, but now she’s just standing there. And all around her the queens are still dancing, and their movements seem more violent juxtaposed against how little she’s doing here. They’re moving around her, touching her or almost-touching her, and she’s just letting it happen. Does nothing to protest it or join in with it.

     The language in the chorus is getting more and more violent. “You” no longer want to please her. Now its “All you want do baby/is seize me.” Unlike with the last two men, Howard didn’t know what Henry was after from the beginning. She was on a different page with him until she had gotten into the situation, so even though the other two men had also been predatory, even though they had taken advantage of her and lied and manipulated her, the situation with Henry is much more violent because it’s not expected. She doesn’t have time to mentally prepare herself or try to convince herself that she has a choice in it. “There’s not time for when or how cause you just got to have me now” shows how suddenly this all was to her. And with Henry, she has the added complication of him being Henry. He’s not only forcing this, but she’s now the queen. Please remember that Katherine Howard was most likely either 16 or 17 when she became queen. Right here we’re talking about someone who wouldn’t even be out of high school yet and a 49 year old man who’s already had four wives.

[Spoken]

So we got married

Wooh...

     Before, Howard can monologue a little bit between each chorus and verse, usually saying something that is supposed to make the audience laugh. After the chorus about Henry, though, this is all you get. She sounds so defeated/distraught and even chocked up when she says “So we got married,” and in some versions will sound like she’s trying to come up with more to say, but ends up just going “Woooh..” in a really unhappy way in attempts to make the audience laugh. A lot of people do laugh, because they’re supposed to. It’s a joke. It’s a joke being delivered by a teenager who just recounted one of the most horrifying experiences a young girl/woman in a job can experience, and afterward just married her boss who put her through it because she didn’t really have a choice. Wooooh. And you’re still watching this all go down, even now that you can see that she’s clearly uncomfortable because she can no longer pretend otherwise.

With Henry it isn't easy

His temper's short and his mates are sleazy

Except for this one courtier

He's a really nice guy, just so sincere

     So Howard does absolutely nothing to introduce Thomas before this moment. She doesn’t even say his name yet, and she never says his last name. Manox, Francis, and Henry all got introduced or hinted at before their respective parts of the song. With Thomas, she opens up with countering him against Henry and his sleazy mates. She’s making it clear she can’t even pretend to have a good relationship or good opinions of Henry. She’s queen and the only thing good she has is that one of Henry’s friends is nice to her and not a complete sleaze. Remember that prior to this, when she was describing court, she was so happy. She said that she belonged there, that she was happy and she liked it. She’s still in the same place and technically she’s higher in rank, and its miserable. Miserable to the point that even with what’s about to happen, her voice lifts slightly when she says Thomas is “just so sincere,” as if it’s a relief to her. As if it’s a pleasant memory, and not the thing that will soon end with her being taken advantage of once again and then beheaded for her “crimes.”

The royal life isn't what I planned

But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand

So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay

And we hang out loads when the king's away

     So Howard went from being excited for her job in court, to being thrust in an extremely powerful and heavily scrutinized role with little to no help. Except Thomas, who to her, seems to be genuine. Why wouldn’t he want to help her? She’s his queen, and the wife of one of his friends. And now she’s married, so there’s nothing that could come of their relationship anyway. Howard now might be the safest she’s ever been from men (other than Henry) because not only is she married, she’s married to the king. That should de-sexualize her entirely, right? So Thomas’s help must be genuine and his friendship must be genuine. Howard has no reason to worry about his motives.  

This guy finally

Is what I want, the friend I need

Just mates, no chemistry

I get him and he gets me

     Howard doesn’t switch to second person here, like she usually does. She doesn’t make Thomas a part of that “you” that consists of Manox, Francis, Henry, and the audience. Because she has no reason to. Because he’s just a friend. And she realizes that’s what she’s needed this entire time: a friend. Someone that will make sure she’s ok. Only now, after all that’s been through in her short life, does she realize that’s all she’s ever wanted or needed. Someone who can just help her and spend time with her without sexualizing her or having any kind of ulterior motive. She can pretend to have chemistry with the other men, but Thomas is and will always be her friend. Someone who gets that she just needs a friend.

And there's nothing more to it

He just cares so much he's devoted

     She feels so compelled to insist that there’s nothing beyond platonic friendship here. In some versions she sounds almost frantic to point out that there’s nothing more to it. He cares about her. He’s devoted to his queen. So that means that there’s no possible way he could want more. Men who care about her don’t want or expect more from her. She’s pacing the stage, pointing at people in the audience. At “And there’s nothing more to it,” Parr and Seymour put hands on her shoulder and she quickly shrugs them off without acknowledging it. She can’t acknowledge it, because she finally has a friend. He can’t want anything else from her. He can’t.

He says we have a connection

     At this point the music stops. The other queens surround her and grab her arms, her legs, her shoulders, her chest. She’s just frozen in the web of hands touching her from every direction. She just freezes for several seconds, doing nothing to fight the hands on her. Because she’s at the most secure and powerful she’s ever been and could ever be, and it’s not enough. 

I thought this time was different

Why did I think he'd be different?

But it's never, ever different

     The hands stay on her through most of this, and she mostly just stands there. Her voice goes from shock/disappointment in “I thought this time was different” to self-deprecating at “Why did I think he’d be different?” to fury at “But it’s never, ever different” to the point where she pretty much screams the last word. It’s not that she’s only just realizing now what’s been happening to her. She’s known. She’s known this entire time. She begins the song by telling the audience that “I was young, its true, but even then I knew.” It’s that now, she can’t lie to herself about any of it anymore. Because even if she knew that Thomas wanted sex from her, she also knew that he couldn’t do anything, because she’s the queen. If he tried anything, he’d be dead. He can’t touch her, so she can say that he’s just her friend and shrug off the moments where he suggests otherwise like she shrugs off Parr and Seymour’s hands initially.

     But now, apparently even that doesn’t protect her. Even being married to one of the most powerful men in the world, a man who has already beheaded men for supposedly sleeping with his wife, isn’t enough to protect her from every single man that wants to put his hands on her and assault her and abuse her. They’re going to do it no matter what, because its never different. Not even for the queen.

'Cause all you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Is touch me, when will enough be enough?

See

All you wanna do

All you wanna do baby

Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me

Bite my lip and pull my hair

As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

 Playtime's over

Playtime's over

Playtime's over

 The only thing

The only thing

The only thing you wanna do is...

      I’m just going to cover all of this at once. Howard is still stuck in the same spot. Her voice is some combination of screaming, crying, and singing, and she’s constantly being grabbed by the queens and either trying to push them off of her or waiting for them to let go. She goes back to the pronoun “you,” finally putting Thomas among all those other men and the audience, and she’s screaming. She’s furious, she’s finally accepted that she can’t accept this, that “you” don’t want to love her, just touch her constantly. You just want to squeeze her and pull her hair and hurt her to please yourself, and you don’t care how she feels about it. You’ll say kind things to her while you’re hurting her, as if that’s supposed to make it better. It just makes you feel better. 

     Then she’s on the ground, and all the queens are facing her, surrounding her and gradually stepping closer and closer as they sing “Playtime’s over” at her. Because its over, and its not just that she’ll be tossed aside again. Everything is over now, because of what men have done to her. Her life is over, as she literally is going to be beheaded because of everything that happened to her. Katherine Howard was either 18 or 19 years old when she was beheaded because men have been sexually assaulting her for years, and it was only acknowledged when they decided to condemn her to death for it.

     After every version of this song that I’ve seen and listened to, there is a moment of shocked silence from the audience before they’ll start applauding. They’re startled by this turn in the song. They don’t expect Howard to start screaming at them or to start crying or to have this strong of an emotional reaction. Yet, they’ve been watching the whole time. They’ve been seeing everything that’s happened to her and listening to everything she’s said. And they have been listening and seeing because they’ve been laughing at her jokes and responding to her comments. The audience, or you, laughed at her jokes when she was making light of her sexual assaults. She has been making sure for the entire show that you were paying attention to her. You knew what was happening. And you just kept watching, shocked when at the end it got that dramatic.

     If you were wondering why Howard makes the audience a part of the collective “you” that includes Manox, Francis, Henry, and Thomas, this is why. Because they may not have been doing the acts these men did, but they just sat there and watched as it happened, pretending--like Howard--that this it could have been consensual acts and that those jokes were funny. If those who knew from the beginning that it wasn’t ok just watched and did nothing to get in the way or help, they may not be these men, but they allowed the men to abuse her.

     Howard does everything she can to endear herself to the audience and make herself noticed throughout the entire show, in preparation for her song. And by the time it gets to her song, they love her. They’re listening to her and interacting with her and noticing her, seeing everything she’s doing. And they still don’t stop what happens to her. So even if they don’t actually want to assault and hurt her, they might as well because it’s happening, they know it’s happening, and they did nothing.

     Now am I saying that the audience is actually, literally complicit in this. No, obviously not; this is a musical. But the audience is a stand in more or less for everyone else that had to have seen what was going on and did nothing to prevent it from getting to the point where Howard’s head was on the chopping block. But the audience is meant to feel complicit because there were people complicit in letting these men abuse her, just like there are people complicit in letting abusers and rapists get away with it to this day. Her step grandmother did nothing to watch her when around Francis. Her family did nothing to watch her when around Manox and they placed her in the position where Henry would take notice of her. People laughed at Howard’s “different times back then” joke because they know that this still happens today, and she knows that they know. So, what are people doing when they see it going on? Just pretending not to notice? Still? Howard, like so many others, is a victim of not just the men who assaulted her, but the societal structures that think its better to let one girl be hurt and killed than it is to upset the power structure or punish the powerful, important men who abuse that girl.

    Katherine Howard was a young girl. In Six, she just wants people to love her, and loving her is not sexual. In Megasix, she changes the lyrics so that its:

All you wanna do

All you wanna do, baby's

Sing along to your favourite queen's song

All you wanna do

All you wanna do, baby

Love me, love me

She wants to be your favorite queen, and she wants you to love her. The part where she’s trying to endear herself to the audience has never been a lie. She wants to win the audience over. Because if there’s one thing Katherine Howard has never had, it’s an adoring crowd that will listen and support her and sing along with her and just love her without wanting anything else. She’s done sexualizing herself in an attempt to make her point or to win people over, now she’s just telling you to love her, because she realized that all she ever needed was friends. So, love her, take care of her, be her friend, and ensure there aren’t other Katherine Howards in the world, because there have been too many already.

[goatsandgangsters]

For the trans asks! 1, 6, 14, 18, 25, 41?

1. How did you choose your name?

So the majority of people in my life call me either Em or EJ, though some people still call me Emeline (which is my given name). I don’t think I’ll ever consider it a deadname, because I do have some attachment, but I think the nicknames Em and EJ suite me better. People are welcome to use any of those options. While I’m particular about people getting my pronouns right and using neutral- or masculine-coded language, I’m kind of shrug emoji when it comes to names.

Em is actually largely @meyerlansky‘s doing (still suspended, rip), because they just... have a tendency to shorten people’s names and started calling me Em several years ago. And it just caught on! Particularly among online friends or mutual IRL friends, I looked around one day and was like “oh huh, a lot of people call me Em now, don’t they?” 

EJ has a bit more of an intentional story behind it: I first thought of EJ back in mmmmaybe late 2018? I saw a post on tumblr that was like, “I think it’s cool how there are a couple different Categories that transmasculine names tend to fall into” and listing those out. And one of them was initialisms—with examples like AJ, CJ, TJ. And I noticed, you know, J is always the second letter. And EJ is ACTUALLY MY INITIALS. And I just instantly felt really good about that, because here was a Very Gender Neutral Name, but it still already felt like a name I’d had my entire life. It was fresh and familiar all at once. It fit into this J pattern while also still feeling unique, because EJ is not as common as other -J initialisms. I first tried it out when I started going to a trans group IRL, so I have an entire trans friend group that only calls me EJ. The majority of people at work also call me EJ—similarly because nicknames just spread sometimes. I left my official documentation under Emeline, but mentioned to a couple people that I also go by EJ and then I blinked and almost every single person I work with calls me EJ. 

Both Em and EJ amuse me, because I’m surprised at how easy it is for people to pick up a nickname. I’ve found that people adjust to using a different name WAY more easily than they adjust to changing pronouns? Which is on the one hand an interesting observation, but on the other hand, it’s unfortunate because I CARE MORE ABOUT THE PRONOUNS PEOPLE USE THAN MY NAME

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

Short answer: 2012. I was a sophomore in college and one day I found out some people actually want to be their assigned gender?? I had thought we were all just miserably putting up with it. 

(There’s a longer answer here about realizing my gender in 2012 but then spending years and years overcoming my internalized guilt about “not being trans enough” and constantly moving my own goal post of “well I’m not trans enough because I don’t do x” and then doing x and going “OKAY BUT I HAVEN’T DONE Y” and then doing y and going “YEAH BUT I DON’T DO Z” and then wanting z and finally realizing, hey uh, how many times are you gonna move this goal post and also you’re eventually going to run out of goal posts—and finally having to go OKAY FINE, YES, I’M TRANS ENOUGH. I’M OUT OF EXCUSES TO INVALIDATE MYSELF.)

14. How long have you been out?

2018 was the first time I started telling people directly to use they/them pronouns for me. (I know, I know, took SIX YEARS RIGHT? But processing that is what my therapist is for.) But before that, I was definitely like in that vague place of “blogs about gender feelings and nonbinary stuff often enough that everyone who follows me like probably knew for a number of years before I said anything directly.” But in 2018, I was finally being Concrete and Direct about it, put it in all my socials, etc. Then in 2019, I came out to my parents and at my job for the first time. So officially, 2–3 years overall! 

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

If you asked them, they would tell you that they love and support me and they’re proud of me and they fully accept my identity. 

If you asked me, I would tell you that while they do love and support me, trans stuff is COMPLETELY BRAND NEW to them, so they don’t always know the right ways to show that support. It’s one of those “sometimes I wish it didn’t take work, but I know they’re trying and they mean well” situations

They ARE making progress, albeit more slowly than I’d like. Neither of them had ANY IDEA what I was talking about when I first came out. They very much... did not understand what I was telling them. So I made them both read a very good book on the subject, which they did read, and that helped lay some groundwork.

My dad has been consistently good about using neutral language from the start and as of a couple months ago started consistently using my pronouns! My mom still has not used my pronouns ever, which is kind of a bummer because she’s had... two years. She’s at the stage of “notices when she gets it wrong” or “aware enough to avoid pronouns,” which is better than not noticing at all, but it’s still not as good as getting it right. iT’S A PROCESS. I’m trying to be patient with it. They mean well. But god I wish it could just be easy, like a light switch. 

I still haven’t told them about my plans for top surgery. I’ve been putting off that conversation for....... months. It was actually the “pin in that for next week” comment to my therapist when we were wrapping up. But like, IDK IF YOU’RE STILL WORKING ON PRONOUNS, I FEEL LIKE “SURGICALLY REMOVING MY BOOBS” MIGHT SOUND LIKE A LOT?

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

I MEAN, QUITE A LOT. But if I have to get specific, I wish there was more understanding of why pronouns are actually important. I get the sense from a lot of cis people who are older and who don’t have a lot of understanding about queer stuff to begin with, that they think of pronouns as like “something they have to be PC about” and if they use the wrong pronouns I’m going to be mad and offended and they’re going to be sent to pronoun jail by the language police. Like, people approach pronouns by thinking “I need to remember that she uses they/them pronouns, so I need to only call her by them/them pronouns.” 

But actually, I’m asking that they stop seeing me as a woman. I don’t want a linguistic bandaid slapped over internal misgendering. If you can’t internalize that I’m not a girl, then pronouns will continue to be a struggle. I’d rather people call me the right thing than the wrong thing, but I don’t want to only be called the right thing. I want to also be seen as the right thing, too. It’s like one of my friends had a coworker call them by the wrong pronoun and the coworker came to apologize and then was like “alright, see you later girl!” with apparently no cognitive dissonance whatsoever. Pronouns are important, but they’re also not JUST language. Pronouns are important because they signify seeing people authentically. I want people to get my pronouns right, but I don’t want getting my pronouns right to be ALL that people do. 

Also, the idea that trans people are “angry and offended” when you misgender them because everyone is so sensitive and political correctness has gone too far, instead of like “it’s a painful reminder that you never get to just exist as your gender the way that cis people do, that no matter what you do there are always people who’ll use the wrong pronouns—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally, and it’s death by a thousand cuts” is a whole other rant I could go on. But if I get into how the myth of trans people being “easily offended” is dangerous, unfair, and untrue, we’ll be here all day. 

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

When I was first starting out, I did—for better or worse—get a lot of information from tumblr. On the one hand, I can’t shit talk, because it did allow me access to information that at the time I couldn’t find anywhere else. On the other hand, tumblr is often an ugly place for information (and whatever nonbinary discourse and misperceptions might exist now, it was 38475785 times worse in 2012. good god. just fuckin wall-to-wall trusc*m). I can’t tell you how many “HOW TO PASS AS A MAN (FTM)” articles and blogs I read back in 2012 as well. I absorbed any information I could find about anything, anywhere, because it was not as widely available. 

In the interceding years, I feel like I don’t know exactly where my information comes from. I just absorbed so much of it, wherever it could be found, that I don’t have a strong sense of where it comes from. I’ve watched countless “1 month on T / 3 months on T / 6 months on T / one year on T” videos on YouTube. I’ve trawled transbucket and facebook groups looking at people’s top surgery results. I’ve read lots of articles on fitting clothing and masculine style onto bodies that weren’t necessarily intended for those clothes. 

Spending IRL time with trans people though has been by far the most enriching and healing, though. It wasn’t necessarily where I learned the basics like different methods of top surgery, but it was where I started un-learning a lot of the emotional baggage I’d picked up along the way. 

[Trans ask game! What has been your gender journey?]

[symptoms-syndrome]

hey, do you know of any book, place or anything that could help me understand how gender and dissociation can interact, especially wrt dissociated parts of self? or can you share what your experience with this has been if you've had any (if you're comfortable)? i'm really struggling to understand myself and my experiences and my gender identity and sexual orientation. i've already asked my t and she'll look into it but couldn't think of anything off the top of her head. hope this is ok to ask.

I’m putting this under a read more because it may get sort of long.

Hello!

I don’t know of any books or resources, but maybe some of my followers do.

However, as someone who is trans and dissociative, I can absolutely share my personal experience. I am very fortunate in that both the therapist that diagnosed me and my current therapist are trans. I highly recommend looking to see if there are any LGBTQ specific resources for therapy in your area, if that’s a part of your identity you consider important to you and your mental wellbeing.

I am a bisexual trans person with moderate levels of dysphoria, who identifies as nonbinary/transmasculine, and has been on HRT for about two years and is in the beginning stages of planning bottom surgery/GCS. For both HRT and GCS, I believe DID is one of the specific things they mention as being “controlled“ before starting medical transition. For better or for worse, I got my diagnosis after about a year of HRT. I am choosing to proceed with GCS/HRT despite my diagnosis, but that’s a very personal decision that I’ve given a lot of thought and I don’t necessarily condone that universally.

I do remember when I was doing the initial dissociative test, there were a few parts of it my therapist mentioned could be due to dissociation OR dysphoria, such as phrases like “when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize my reflection,” or something of the sort. That is something your therapist should take into account, and you could communicate with them about why you might feel that way, be it due to dissociation, dysphoria, or both. However, on those sorts of tests there is a “baseline,“ so being wishy-washy on the specifics of one or two questions won’t drastically change your score one way or the other.

Using this example, there are times I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see, or it isn’t what I’m expecting. When this is leaning more towards dysphoria, it’s mostly gendered things that I notice feel “off,“ such as my hips, my shoulders, etc. When this is leaning more towards dissociation, it’s more “general.” Something is off, and I can’t tell what, or it feels like everything is off. (Additionally, dysphoria generally carries more upsetting/negative thoughts, while dissociation is more neutral “oh, that’s not right.” However, everyone experiences dysphoria differently, so that may not be case for you.) Sometimes, though, I can’t really tell if it’s dysphoria or dissociation. It’s a murky middle ground.

WRT to sexual orientation, it’s important to remember that like. You don’t really need to have a set one, and you don’t need to tell anyone else if you don’t want to. I identify as bisexual, and sometimes I lean more towards this gender or that one, sometimes there’s no preference at all, sometimes I can’t imagine being with one gender and can only imagine myself with another, it’s all very fluid and personally I think that’s an experience a lot of people have outside of dissociation. You don’t need to file any paperwork or have an “official“ sexual orientation you have to stick with. A lot of folks simply identify as “queer“ for that reason. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of your sexual orientation, and it’s okay to not know, and just focus on the people you like, rather than broader categories like gender.

WRT your own gender identity, a lot of the above still applies. You don’t need a name for your gender if you don’t want one. All other people really have to know are the pronouns you prefer, which you can change whenever. I have some parts that are women, though most of them don’t fully front very often, and when they do they don’t really mind the body they’re in, or the pronouns folks use for them. I on a whole identify as nonbinary/transmasc solely because most of the parts that do front either identify that way, or don’t mind identifying that way. I, as a part, personally don’t remember coming out, or identifying any differently. I know I’ve been out since around 7th grade even though I don’t remember it, and most parts that are most present don’t remember high school or anything before it. For me, I’m mostly taking an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it“ approach. I came into consciousness identifying as transmasculine, and I don’t have strong feelings about NOT being transmasculine, neither do any of the parts I’m aware of. Overall, 99% of the time, parts present either identify as nonbinary/transmasc, or don’t take issue with being perceived that way.

I think it’s also important to remember that with social transition, you’re allowed to basically do whatever you want. You can cut your hair and it’ll grow back. You can buy new clothes and return them. You can wear makeup or not wear makeup, bind or not bind, tuck or not tuck, and pretty much everything is reversible. As long as you are being safe, you can try out as many gender presentations as you like.

With HRT and surgeries, this is not the case. While stopping HRT can reverse SOME of the effects, there are some things that will not go back to the way they were. It’s important to remember your whole self and consider all aspects, as folks with dissociative parts may have more complicated relationships with their gender and their body. It’s also important to remember HRT will change aspects of your body, but won’t change you. Medical transition is a huge decision, and one that can very positively change your life, but also has the potential to negatively impact you, too. You also do NOT have to medically transition to be valid in your gender identity, nor do you owe anyone an explanation as to why you choose or choose not to medically transition. If you take a while to decide, the choice to start will always be there. You can always decide that you want to start medical transition later.

Depending on where you are and where you go to medically transition though, they may already have these safeguards in place to make sure you don’t do something you regret later. It’s important even for non-dissociative folks to carefully consider the choice to medically transition.

This has all been very rambly, and I’m sorry. I just wanted to get an answer out because this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a while.

[bxstiae]

Drops all my urls in here late as fuck :3c

[ @rejectgods / —– 🇸 🇪 🇳 🇩   🇦    🇺 🇷 🇱 ]           🇬​🇱​🇦​🇩​🇱​🇾​ 🇦​🇨​🇨​🇪​🇵​🇹​🇮​🇳​🇬​ 🇦​🇱​🇱​﹗

I cannot believe you are doing this to me Jorm. I love you man but. alright. I’m gonna do this differently than I would if it was just one URL. You have what… 5 blogs that I follow? Though I heard you were making another one. Anyway… On this post alone, I’ll give one paragraph per muse ( that I have seen you interact/post on ). That being said, when I get the chance, I will make a google doc for your muses and get a better in depth thing per muse. I’ll probably start on it when I wake up, but you gotta give me a bit okay.

Know this: I’m doing this because I appreciate you a lot. and you deserve to know how much I do. That and well holy hell, you cannot expect me not to say no to you like that when you say ‘drops all my urls.’

You KNOW that I will take that as a challenge & do it cause you said.

BTW: you weren’t late. You sent me that the same day that I posted it.

Lets start with Accelerator since you asked me on them –

Opinion on;

CHARACTER IN GENERAL: An asshole tbh. An Overpowered little shit. Okay. Really though, from what I’ve gotten though in the little stuff I’ve watched with you? THEY!!! ( honestly forgive me if I say he. I naturally tend to lean towards those pronouns even for nonbinary characters ) Anyway they are honestly a mood tbh. Just not giving a damn but also defending theose they care about. Definitely psychotic, but its okay, I suppose they are allowed to. Then again, we barely scraped the surface with ToAru so maybe I’ll wait until I know more.

HOW THEY PLAY THEM: I’ve only see a little bit of Accel, but from what I know? It’s really good! Then again, your prose in general is something I absolutely love. There is big of edge to Accel that’s different than the other muses too. Like I’m not saying they’re edgy - they just has something very specific to them that I like.  

Read more now cause I wrote an Essay for you.

Lets go with Lif first, cause that was the first blog I followed @ultaegrr –

CHARACTER: Cold, ruthless, unforgiving, spiteful.. Like honestly I feel like there are a lot of words to describe Lif, and yet, none of them really describe him. He’s a very complex character. Like VERY complex. I could give you my aspect of him but honestly, that can wait for the doc. Nonetheless, he is actually a character that I would get my grubby paws on to RP as. I probably won’t for the sake of my sanity but I do really have my own portrayal of him that I would want to try out.

YOUR PORTRAYAL: Given that your Lif is canon-exclded and not the Lif from the games, I can go into a rabbit hole with this one. I will not ( again, we will save for that doc ). I will only brush up on a few things. He’s by far my favourite out of your muses. Like of all of your muses, I would pick Lif as your best one. Your prose on him is my favourite from all your muses and I would be content with just following him ( and Kiran ). That being said, you know I would follow you anywhere anyway cause you’re my friend and I support your brand. Anyway, sorry but I’ll elaborate some other time.

Kiran is next cause honestly… Kiran @breidabllk

CHARACTER: I can’t really go into depth with them as they are like an OC? They aren’t really but its the player  of FEH. Each kiran is unique to the player. So don’t have much to say.

PORTRAYAL: honestly when I think of Kiran, I think of you. This is a loaded statement too, cause it can be meant in different ways. One way: I literally think of the summoner as your Kiran. Granted do I have my own crack Kiran? Yea, you know that. But honestly, the first thing I think of when I see the name is… yours. Like if somebody were to say who should I follow for the summoner, you would be the first person to come to mind. I have others as well but you’re the main one. The second way?: Kiran is you. You are Kiran. to a degree. Like??? I know they’re not. but at the same time, there are so many things about you two that are similar. But that’s why I think I love your Kiran so much. They’re so realistic. Like there is a part of you in them. It’s not just a character. They feel so tangible compared to other characters and I can’t describe it but it’s so… authentic.

Alfonse now because he’s a boi @valhoil—

CHARACTER: Honestly? Sorry to punch ya gut but. I didn’t like him. This was something different than me and Hector. Cause I didn’t CARE for hector. But Alfonse? I had experince with him already from playing FEH. and I just…. didn’t like him. I don’t know why. I think it was cause for me he was a bit of a child? But that’s not really it either. Something about him didn’t rub me the right way so I kinda just… ignored him a bit. I mean I didn’t completely ignore him cause he’s important to the story in B3 & B4. but you know what I mean. I just… was meh about him.

PORTRAYAL: Now this is where I go, yea you made me change my mind about Alfonse cause DAMN, I stan him now. I.. Really do. I will go on more into depth with him as well but again, we will refer to the doc on this one. I don’t want to sound like I’m repeating myself. I do have to say that the inner turmoil on him though is something that I support for character development. Definitely the main thing that I love about him. But more to come later.

I almost forgot about Grima.. cursed. but Grima @rotdivinity –

CHARACTER: FUCK YOU GRIMA. honestly though. I hate him as a character. I want nothing more from him than to die. Him/Her/them, whatever. That’s all you need to know for now. Grima needs to die.

PORTRAYAL: dear lord, I forgot about him but he’s definitely a favourite. From what we have discussed and talked about, you actually make me feel bad for him? Well that and your Grima is the reason why I made Emmeryn in the first place! Honestly though.. Your Grima is the only Grima I would ever want to follow and a part of me also wants to make a Naga cause of what we discussed. But you know I’d probably never make a Naga cause I don’t support her – at least from our discussions about Grima, I’ve come to despise Naga really. Lol cause I love Emm, and she loves Naga.

Okay, last one. Marth @exaltblade –

CHARACTER: I have a love/hate relationship with this tiara wearing bitch of a princess. There, that’s all you need to know.  

PORTRAYAL: can’t tell you cause you haven’t really done much with him yet. But from what I know, I am actually…. very VERY excited for him! I know you’ll do great.  

Now that I did those, let me finish the rest. I probably will elaborate more in the doc for you as well, but… you know.

The Mun: Jorm, I honestly…. don’t know where to start with you. We’ve known each other for what? 2 months? I mean I suppose longer, but we didn’t officially start talking until recently. But as you already know, I would do anything for you. We are so close to each other too! Like really?? I have never vibed so well with somebody so hard and fast. But with you I’m just like damn, I will absolutely do anything for you. I don’t know why? I really don’t but honest to the gods, I truly do care about you a lot. I love talking to you on the phone. I worry for you when you are being quiet. I know that I can be a bit too much sometimes, and I’m sorry for that, but you know that when I see your name, its like when I see Core’s name. I get excited and it makes my day. I hope you know that. And if you didn’t, well I am tell you now. :)

Do I:

RP with Them: Yea I do. Well I’d say I do, but you know Chrom is put on hold at the moment. That being said, we’ve done a LOT of plotting and discussion on a lot of things and on just about every muse too. So you may not always see the RPs but we do.

Want to RP with Them: Of course! Honestly, I don’t care for speed. We could never RP in our lives, but we talk about our muses all the time okay? and that alone makes me happy. But also yea I do want to RP. and I do, in fact, want to RP with Link. I just dont know how with Accel…  

What is my;

Overall Opinion: 

**NOTE: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[moonshinelouis-archive]

fine line analyses

these are thoughts; my thoughts. if you don’t agree please be reasonable and just ignore.

tumblr fucking ate this post so here i am. rewriting it all.

tw: i talk about alcohol, drugs, grief, and death

the album in general uses the extended metaphor of yellow. the colour is mentioned in nearly every song and i’ll explain why or why not later. the yellow is hope, happiness, and all things nice but as all archetypes it has a ‘dark’ side; it means cowardice and/or deceit. it also seems to follow the hero’s journey which is interesting.

side a: love/light vs dark. exposition.

golden begins the album already in sunshine; in happily vibes imo. gold is the ultimate illuminated colour, so to use it is... the next level, especially as the album opener. “take me back to the light / i knew you were way too bright for me” are ideas that come back in lights up. i love the juxtaposition in this song: “hold [the golden (light)], focus, hoping,” and then a couple lines later, “i’m hopeless, broken”; showing that at the same time, he’s hopeful and hopeless. i love that he alludes, in the entire song, that his person is the sun but he never says it outright: “you wait for me in the sky / [your light] browns my skin just right / you’re so golden,” which come back in sunflower. “i know that you’re scared / because hearts get broken / because i’m so open” immediately made me thing of strong. both he and his lover overwhelm each other at times: “you were way too bright for me,” “you’re scared / because i’m so open”; but ultimately this is a song about devotion: “i don’t wanna be alone / loving you’s the antidote.”

watermelon sugar doesn’t have anything outright yellow; however, the entire lyrics are rooted in imagery surrounding summer which inherently involves a sunny, especially when he calls out that it’s “warm,” that there are “berries,” that it’s “the end of June,” so my point stands. this song has already been analysed, i think, so i’m not gonna go too into it; in a nutshell, it’s the sweetest of loves. “tastes like strawberries on a summer evening” calls to we made it’s “remember how it tasted / looking into your eyes,” and the absolutely feral warm image of tasting moments makes me crazy...the tenderness..oh god.. “it sounds just like a song” comes back in many other tracks; in sunflower, “plant new seeds in the melody” -- try to find new beginnings in the music -- and also “want you more than a melody.” harry says this one was “the hardest one to finish” which could suggest ongoing events.

adore you has yellow in “honey” and “lemon” and hidden in “summer skies” and “brown skin.” thematically, this song is the same as watermelon sugar; devotion. “walk in your rainbow paradise” -- a rainbow is renewal, promise; a gateway, the calm after the storm. to be with his lover is to walk in paradise, away from all evil. though their lack of communication plagues them, it can sometimes be how they find their peace: “you don’t have to say you love me / nothing / [that] you’re mine.” “i’d walk through fire for you” reminded me of happily and through the dark. 

lights up, too, has already been discussed at length; “what do you mean? / i’m sorry by the way / i’m never coming back down / can’t you see / i could but it wouldn't stay?” will speak volumes to anyone who’s been closeted, even if nothing extreme. “i’m never coming around / it’d be so sweet / if things just stayed the same” would be the melancholy and fear of watching those you love slip away because of something you can’t change; and, even if it doesn’t, there will always be the little things that change, like how you’re perceived. “all the lights couldn’t put out the dark / running through my heart” is one of my favourite lines; it speaks of the things within himself he’d rather hide, and yet, all the pride he’s told to have does nothing to erase his bitterness towards the feeling -- internalised homophobia/transphobia. however -- “step into the light / so bright sometimes / i’m not ever coming back” -- as overwhelming, as scary, as engulfing as it all may be... it’s much better to be in the light than in the dark; back to golden. the yellow in this song is in the ‘light.’

side b: complete abstinence of yellow. abyss.

cherry presents vibrant red rather than yellow, perhaps to illustrate the glossy jealousy he expresses in this song, and possibly to say he is angry despite sounding defeated. thematically similar to woman. i don’t think this song is dismissible because its aspects all come back: “gallery” is again in sunflower; “don’t call me baby” returns in to be so lonely. “there’s a piece of you in how i dress” reminded me of “painted nails make harry beautiful” :’) also, “your accent” is pretty loud. if anything is to be said about the ending, is that it’s in the “language of love.”

falling is very clearly the death in the hero’s journey; the lowest point from which he could only rebirth. again there are communication issues: “forget what i said / it’s not what i meant”; “we’ve run out of things we can say.” and then there’s rediscovery: “what am i now?” he asks, after having asked the listeners if they know who they are; and his despair seems tied to insecurities -- “what if i’m someone i don’t want around? / what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? / what if you’re someone i just want around?” (notice the flip of pronouns in the last two; switching the blame. harry and louis seem to do that a lot; the blame is passed from one to another in songs. he blames himself in this one, though: “there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands.”) the biggest insecurity lies in the line: “i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,” in which harry just wants.. to be needed; to be loved and to be in love. overall he’s asking for redemption, whatever of.

to be so lonely is still sad, but obviously a rise; a rebirth. “don’t blame me for falling / i was just a little boy / don’t blame the drunk caller / i wasn’t ready for it all / you can’t blame me, darling / not even a little bit / i was away / and i’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry” -- the opening verse is just all excuses, all flimsy at best; pushing the blame around. “i was just a little boy” had me screaming; “don’t blame the drunk caller” is distancing himself as far away as possible even though....that’s him, drunk-calling; he said so in falling: “there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands.” the last one is not even trying; he just straight up says he’s arrogant.. lol. again he’s rooting onto insecurites: “i just hope you see me / in a little better light” asks his lover not to only see him as the stupid little boy who became a needy and arrogant drunk caller; and again he pleads for mercy with rather nonsensical logic: “do you think it’s easy? / being of the jealous kind?” overall, these three songs together could be interpreted as a breakup, though the romantic songs in the album would support better that there have been really rough patches in their relationship; specifically times in which they were caught in untimely scheduling inconveniences amid fights. but see it how you will.

she is a projection. harry tries out the ‘normal guy’ archetype, giving his character a nine-to-five office job and the predictable (supposedly married) life with kids; he likely did this to try out a different perspective of his feelings and/or to appeal to his audience, who is mostly not made up of millionaires. right away, he’s pretending, with the most basic of things: “[he] sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon / around 13:32 / like he knows what to do.” as for the whole chorus and “a woman who’s just in his head / and she sleeps in his bed / while he plays pretend” is, to me, the woman inside him who aches to be seen; she represent his struggles with binary genders, both of which are oppressing. “he takes a boat out / imagines just sailing away / and not telling his mates / he wouldn't know what to say” is literally eroda?? and shows communication issues. again.

side c: ascending

sunflower makes the yellow comeback.. loud and in your face. the sunflower is commonly associated with the sun tarot card, which often depicts them with children, who are mentioned... the card stands for clarity and success. this song is thematically like watermelon sugar and adore you, but it just has that stoner vibe you know ? “kids in the kitchen listen to dancehall” triggered “even as young as you are.” again, there are communication issues; “i’ve been trying hard not to talk to you” “let me inside, i wanna get to know you / wish i could get to know you” “i was just tongue-tied / i’m still tongue-tied.” “i’ve got your face / hung up high in the gallery” again shows adoration; with cherry’s “does he take you walking through his parents’ gallery?” it could be interpreted as, are his parents showing you off like i do? a big note about it: “hung up high in the gallery / out of this shade” in the light! this is major.

canyon moon shows yellow in “the world’s happy waiting / doors yellow, broken, blue” -- happy, first of all. the doors are portals that they’ve taken, will take, or could take; some are happy, some deceitful, some sad. i find it very interesting that in she “the man drops his kid off at school” and in this one jenny tells her husband to “go get the kids from school.” “two weeks and i’ll be home” loud loud loud. paris and rome are both romantic cities. “[she -- jenny?] pretends not to know the words” again shows some pretending, perhaps to show that we all pretend about things in life, even mundane activites... just a fun song about being away and missing each other like right now.

treat people with kindness is the only song outside of side b that does not have yellow. i think that is because, though this is a happy song, it’s jus a cover up -- he’s burying his grief in the music and drugs/drinks. “and it’s just another day / and if our friends all pass away / it’s okay.” “feeling good in my skin / i just keep on dancing” shows the other effect of numbing all the insecurities and fears he normally carries. 

side d: settling. the first sign fine line is a track to be paid attention to is that it’s the titular the track. the second push is giving it its own side on the record. 

fine line is another side of she, for which i liked this eloquent explanation. it’s a drastic shift in mood from tpwk to fine line; harry truly shows how vulnerable he is. he’s divided -- “you sunshine, you temptress”; god, when i read/heard that i cried. so beautiful, so appeasing, but it looks like such a distant dream. unachievable. furthermore i think making this song about a relationship, or anyone other than harry and harry’s inner demons is belittling it; belittling his internal struggles to reach the so desired fine line...

[atravellerstale-meg]

Hello! I REALLY love your drawing of dusk lord Gavin and i could clearly see the difference between their personalities. Could you explain about your dusk lord gavin headcanon?

Thank you so much for the message! And sorry for the delayed response - my computer died recently so I’m having to borrow a friend’s to write this up. As a result, this may be a bit rambly… especially since I’ve got A Lot of headcanons.

My basic idea was of Gavin, the God of the Sun and Love and Craft and Monsters, a trickster god, being known by two main titles (Solar Queen and Dusk Lord), with each one encapsulating a different side of the god.

Also, while we’re talking headcanons, I headcanon God!Gavin as being genderfluid, so I will use a few different pronouns over the course of this. And, without any further ado, I’m going to delve into how their specific roles break down under the cut!

So, Gavin’s main domain is obviously the sun, and with the titles alone you can see the difference between the Solar Queen and the Dusk Lord. The Solar Queen is more of a bright, sunny day, almost blinding. The Dusk Lord is warm and colourful, but definitely has a darker edge, closer to their monstrous kin.

And like, I know monsters technically spawn in darkness? Which is far more associated with Ryan? But the monsters themselves, besides Endermen, I’ve always associated more with Gavin. So I’m saying they fall within his domain. And the fact that he’s the god of the sun is the reason that his favourite monsters (Creepers) can roam in daylight without being harmed.

One quite interesting difference between the two is what we’ve seen of their relationships to love. The Solar Queen seems very in love with the idea of love itself - though she does love people, she also seems to have this goal of a house and a spouse, someone to share a bed and have a kid with. She didn’t much care whether Michael or Ryan fills that role (though, again, I’m not saying that she doesn’t love both Michael and Ryan).

From what we’ve seen of the Dusk Lord, which I’ll admit isn’t much, they seem far more devoted to Michael, even willing to become a cyborg so that they could marry. But we’ll have to wait and see how that unfolds. For the moment, I definitely picture the Dusk Lord as being more… I guess the way to phrase it would be ‘selfless in love’. Willing to do anything for their beloved(s).

And another interesting difference is their status as a trickster god. The Solar Queen enjoys playing tricks (such as ‘dinging’ the others, or using the doom machine) but overall plays the fool, ending up the butt of the jokes. The Dusk Lord is far more the archetypal trickster god, manipulating those around him for a laugh. Picture Gavin in Between The Games, convincing people to waterboard each other or fling glass objects across the room for fun, or even Gavin in Slow Mo Guys, asking Dan to enact stunt after stunt for entertainment.

…Mostly because I really like chaotic, trickster Gavin and need more of it in content!

I think the craft aspect is the simplest, with Gavin devoting himself to projects, creating all sorts of little trinkets with decocraft for his own amusement, obsessing over solar panels, getting his attention caught by the Duskflame Hex and stopping at nothing to create it. I do find it really interesting how he devotes all his attention to one project at a time, even sabotaging previous accomplishments in pursuit of his new goal, such as when he built the ‘Lad Pad’ directly over the solar panels. And when he has nothing crafty to absorb his attention, that’s when he turns to pranking the others. So, for your own safety and comfort, please make sure Gavin has something achievable and engrossing to focus on, lest he wreak havoc and chaos on everyone around him.

To round this off, I’m just quickly going to talk about personality differences (since you did originally ask about the Dusk Lord’s personality).

The Solar Queen is mostly based upon the Let’s Play Gavin - endlessly cheerful, creative, and chaotic. Willing to hurt those around her for a laugh, which always ends up backfiring on her. Entertains and aggravates in equal measure, but at the end of the day you know everybody loves her.

The Dusk Lord is more… well, I’ve already mentioned Between The Games and Slow Mo Guys. I also have to give a shoutout to Let’s Plays like Hitman and Towerfall, where Gavin is more competent and therefore doesn’t play the idiot so much. More calm overall and very focused on whatever he’s doing. The type to wind everybody up, then stand back and watch the fireworks go off. Still cheery, but you never know whether that cheer is at your expense or not.

Speaking of, I really adore the whole idea of Dusk Lord Gavin being the Solar Queen’s fall from grace in a sense, a darker and eviller version (and I especially love what you wrote on it!) and while I did go in a different direction with my own headcanons, I would definitely say that it influenced said headcanons to some degree.

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings, and thank you once again for your message!

[thesanguinerose]

Week One Apprentice April Asks

I wanted to post the remaining asks for my boys, so here you go!

Questions already answered are linked. Also RIP to mobile users. I’m so sorry.

For Rory:

1. The Basics.  What is your character’s name?  How old are they?  How tall are they?  Skin color?  Eye color?  Hair color?  Gender identification?

Riordan “Rory” Enda Tanner is 26 years old at the start of the game. He was born April 11 (Aries), and is trans (he/him only, please). He does identify as gay, though he has been known to have some wiggle room - rare as said wiggle room is. He stands at a towering 5’2” (though he wears heeled boots 99% of the time so really everyone sees him at….5’5”), is incredibly pale and rosy and freckled, has green eyes, and brown hair that’s usually pulled back into a ponytail or braid. Sometimes he leaves it down, though, and it is close to waist length. He likes to wear silver earrings (cuffed up to his cartilage), and his colors are Navy, Cream, and Silver. He made his own binder by developing a modified stay, though his build is slight enough that he doesn’t require it all the time. His general outfit is a white undershirt, with the sleeves rolled up, his modified stay, a navy vest/jerkin, and brown trousers and boots. Fairly simple and standard. Doesn’t garner much attention. He also cannot see very well and has circular spectacles. However, due to his clumsiness, Rory keeps them on a chain in case they fall from his face. Which they do. Frequently. (Further outfit info can be provided on request for pre-death/masquerade/etc purposes if interested!)

2.  Love Interest.  Who does your character love?  What attracted them to that particular LI? 

Answered here

3. Familiar.  Does your character have a familiar?  How did they meet?

Answered here

4. Hobbies.  What kinds of things does your character like to do for fun?

He likes to sew. One of his passions is designing and sewing together outfits or finding fun ways to design practical clothing items. He makes all of his own clothing and post-game experiments with many different kinds and colors of fabrics. He also enjoys writing - mostly journal entries as he doesn’t want to forget any other aspect of his life from now on. Also enjoys horseback riding and general tomfoolery!

5. Hidden talents.  Is there something neat that your character can do?  Tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue?  Say any word backwards perfectly?

SFW - He’s a very good dancer, though usually just when others aren’t looking. He is also a fan of sleight of hand tricks, using magic or just by being slippery.

…..he has some NSFW ones, but those are available upon request ^_^

6. Magical talents.  Is there a specific type of magic that your character excels at?  Any magic they aren’t so great at?  Or do they actually shy away from magic altogether?

Rory has some natural talent and some learned. Naturally, he is adept with fire based magic, and prophetic divination, most of which is involuntary. He is also prone to emotional outbursts that result in items being broken/people being hurt. Learned, he excelled at alchemy, illusion, and magical theory. He likes the balance and physicality of alchemy, versus the creativity and freedom of illusion, and how they play into one another. Most of his learned magic was lost, but Asra retaught him a bit of it :)

7. Interaction.  How does your character typically interact with people?

Answered here

8. Romance.  What is something that your character and their LI love to do together?  How do they show affection?

With Julian, they like to go on adventures. The more places they can go, the better. They are also both very good at surprising each other with events, gifts, vacations. Sometimes, just the simple things like making breakfast in the morning, or a comforting hug after a bad day. Rory primarily shows his affection with words and actions - he is very much a fan of telling people that he loves them and why, and wants to hug and touch as much as he can. He requires the same, though usually the words are the important part, especially as his insecurities show up. He just needs reassurance that he is loved, and he is glad to provide the same as is needed.

9. Travel.  Does your character like to travel outside of Vesuvia?  How often?  For how long?  What kinds of things do they do away from home?

Now he does. He was raised on a farm in a small village about a week’s travel southwest of Vesuvia. He ran away from home at 18, stayed briefly with his aunt in Vesuvia, went to school in Prakra for magic, then returned to Vesuvia to help his aunt with her shop. Up until his death, however, he stayed within the general city limits. Once he is brought back, he stays at home up through end-game. At that point, he and Julian travel all over the world, for months at a time, especially once they get Julian his own ship. They regularly travel to Nevivon and galavant across Prakra, but always return home to Vesuvia. Every trip means a new place that Rory hasn’t seen, and if Julian hasn’t been there, either, all the better!

10. WTF.  Has anything just…weird ever happened to your character?  Something that made them stop and go “What just happened?!”

Answered here

11. Crime.  Has your character ever been arrested?  If so, what did they do?  Have they ever helped stop a crime?

He’s never been caught ;) See Question 10 for stopping crimes, though that hardly counts, doesn’t it?

12. Secrets.  What is a secret that your character has?  Are they in line for the throne in a far off land?  Was there this one time at band camp…?  Are they secretly involved in an assassin’s guild?

Answered here

13. Overcompensation.  Is there something that your character just HAS to do better than anyone else?  Or are they just that dang good without trying?  If they see someone else showing off, what is their kneejerk reaction?

Answered here

14. Fight Club.  Is your character a good fighter?  What kind of skills do they have?

Answered here

15. The Arts.  Is your character a creative type?  What kinds of things can they create?  Can they act?  Street perform?

He can sketch! Not well, and not people, but he likes to sketch out landscapes and plants. Professional Doodler ;) He also does stage magic and sleight of hand for fun, and has been known to do some work down at the community theater. He can sing, but he’s a better dancer, preferring to let his body do the talking for him. Wishes he could play an instrument, but for everyone’s sake...best not to let him near one!

16. Goofy.  Is your character a clown?  Do they like to make people laugh?

Answered here

17. Language.  Is your character multilingual?  How many languages do they speak?  Do they have an accent?  Is it sexy?  Is it silly?  Do they have a multilingual lisp?

Answered here

18. Embarrassment.  What is something really embarrassing that your character has done/said?

Honestly, when he first went to Prakra, he was a bit of a bumpkin. So just his overall reactions to being in a metropolis, plus his shy demeanor, led him to act in some embarrassing ways around people he wanted to befriend. In game, Rory is notoriously clumsy, not quite used to his limbs, like a young colt. He laughs off his embarrassment, now, at least!

19. Memory.  Has your character gotten any of their memory back?  If so, what?  Did it change them?

Not properly. When he became strong enough, Asra gave Rory back his old journal, which documented Rory’s life from the ages of 16 to 22, when he died. Rory can’t read it for too long or, yes, the headaches start. So instead of getting his memories back, he just sort of re-reads what his life was from the point of view of someone that he...quite simply doesn’t relate to anymore. But it’s good for him to know, he thinks. To see what he was like, and to avoid making similar mistakes. It does inspire him to make his own journal, and to keep track of his days so he never loses another moment again.

20. Family.  Talk about your character’s family.  Who were they?

Answered here

For Riley

1. The Basics.  What is your character’s name?  How old are they?  How tall are they?  Skin color?  Eye color?  Hair color?  Gender identification?

Riley Aeron Tanner is 24 years old at the start of the game. He’s a Virgo, born September 17th, and is cis, using he/him pronouns. Highkey a bisexual disaster who doesn’t quite know what to do with all the feelings he has, and also pretty oblivious to people liking him! He’s 6’2” and built like a brick shithouse, warm skin-toned, easy to tan, but still very clearly pale. He has brown eyes and dark brown hair, which he tries to keep short, but he’s not very good at cutting it, so it sometimes hits near chin length. He can be found wearing very practical clothing that makes it easy to move as he does a lot of stocking/lifting/errand running for the shop, as well as odd jobs around town. Also very earthy in his tones - lots of greens and browns and oranges! He’s also not incredibly hairy, but he does have a fair amount of body hair - including a full beard, which he tries to keep neatly trimmed. Unlike his brother, he can see without glasses, so any accessories would be practical - a bag, tools, and the like.

2.  Love Interest.  Who does your character love?  What attracted them to that particular LI?

Answered here

3. Familiar.  Does your character have a familiar?  How did they meet?

Answered here

4. Hobbies.  What kinds of things does your character like to do for fun?

He likes to play the lute, go for walks outside the city, and people watch. He’s definitely a people person and his favorite is going into the marketplace and just complimenting people on their wares, or drawing the animals he sees running around. And just being an all around good guy...Those are hobbies, right?

5. Hidden talents.  Is there something neat that your character can do?  Tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue?  Say any word backwards perfectly?

Answered here

6. Magical talents.  Is there a specific type of magic that your character excels at?  Any magic they aren’t so great at?  Or do they actually shy away from magic altogether?

Honestly, Riley isn’t good at magic at all. He’s never shown an affinity for it, and it’s never been that big a deal to him. In his canon, Rory dies when Riley is 15, and so he pursues magic as a way to honor him, even if it’s hard. He gains an affinity for Green Magic and enjoys tarot, but he still isn’t particularly good at either of them. After he is brought back, of course, this changes, and his magical powers develop very quickly.

7. Interaction.  How does your character typically interact with people?

He. Loves. People. He’s like a big puppy - loud and excited, kind and helpful, constantly the life of the party. He tries to help people in need whenever he can, and if he ends a conversation with the other person grinning, then he has succeeded! Generally well liked, but not smug or rude about it. He’s just a good dude!

8. Romance.  What is something that your character and their LI love to do together?  How do they show affection?

With Portia, they like to go on adventures together either in real life, or in their books. He likes it when she reads to him, and he likes to read to her. He likes to surprise her with events and little shows of physical affection - neck kisses, spinning her around, humming into her ear, massages after a long day. He likes to doodle her - though he is so upset that he can’t catch her likeness in his stick figures, not properly. Riley also serenades her - out in public or in the privacy of their home - doesn’t matter!

9. Travel.  Does your character like to travel outside of Vesuvia?  How often?  For how long?  What kinds of things do they do away from home?

He doesn’t travel very often. He’s stayed in Vesuvia since he moved there at 15, so I guess you could say he’s a bit of a homebody. He will travel occasionally, especially if Portia wants to, and is open to adventure, but it doesn’t occur to him to leave unless someone else suggests it.

10. WTF.  Has anything just…weird ever happened to your character?  Something that made them stop and go “What just happened?!”

Answered here

11. Crime.  Has your character ever been arrested?  If so, what did they do?  Have they ever helped stop a crime?

Riley is generally pretty lawful good, though in both Rory and Riley’s canons, he does take up with a small militia to fight some of Lucio’s men. I suppose that was a crime, though I would argue the validity of that claim. He’s stopped a robbery or two in the past, but he generally tries to stay out of trouble.

12. Secrets.  What is a secret that your character has?  Are they in line for the throne in a far off land?  Was there this one time at band camp…?  Are they secretly involved in an assassin’s guild?

Answered here

13. Overcompensation.  Is there something that your character just HAS to do better than anyone else?  Or are they just that dang good without trying?  If they see someone else showing off, what is their kneejerk reaction?

Answered here

14. Fight Club.  Is your character a good fighter?  What kind of skills do they have?

Yes. He can punch, he can throw, he can swordfight - He’s just very good at fighting. In canon, he is a practiced fighter, and in most AUs, he has done boxing or wrestling in addition to weightlifting. Boy can Fight!

15. The Arts.  Is your character a creative type?  What kinds of things can they create?  Can they act?  Street perform?

Answered here

16. Goofy.  Is your character a clown?  Do they like to make people laugh?

Answered here

17. Language.  Is your character multilingual?  How many languages do they speak?  Do they have an accent?  Is it sexy?  Is it silly?  Do they have a multilingual lisp?

Answered here

18. Embarrassment.  What is something really embarrassing that your character has done/said?

Asra tried to tell Riley he loved him once before Riley’s death, and Riley just said, “Oh, wow, buddy! I love you too!” because he didn’t realize what Asra meant. Once he did realize, it was deeply embarrassing for both of them and Riley felt really bad about it.

19. Memory.  Has your character gotten any of their memory back?  If so, what?  Did it change them?

He hasn’t. But maybe it’s better to forget, y’know? He can move forward instead of looking back on what he lost.

20. Family.  Talk about your character’s family.  Who were they?

See Rory’s answer for most of this. The only difference is the dynamic. Riley was raised as the “perfect” child in contrast to the abuse Rory faced, and so developed a weird complex around being “perfect”. He was spoiled, though did not want to be, and was uncomfortable with it. He also looked up to his older brother like he was made of everything good in this world - Riley wanted so much to be like Rory.