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total-drama-brainrot · 7 months

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TD World Tour AU, where Noah is Chris’s Assistant from the start of World Tour, instead of a contestant ... Alejandro tries to charm Noah, like Alejandro had charmed Chef, but Noah is immune to his charms... What if Assistant Noah still told Owen that Alejandro is like 'an eel dipped in grease' and Alejandro CAN'T get rid of Assistant Noah for saying that?... Would they have a weird frenemy relationship for the rest of the show?... With Alejandro sometimes teasingly flirting with Noah, like he does with Heather? 😘

In my take on an Assistant Noah AU, Noah would be entirely immune to Alejandro's charm, not because he's switched on to The Archvillain's true colours (which, he is, but I digress) but because Assistant Noah is The Saltiest Bitch.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that you've landed yourself a pretty sweet gig; you're the personal assistant of an A-list celebrity who's only real job at the moment is hosting and directing one (1) reality TV show. The pay is really good and the job itself comes with a tonne of benefits, plus it's the perfect position for you to develop networks within the business (Noah canonically mentions "working his way up this 'biz", implying he has a desire to continue in the field of showbusiness).

Now imagine with me that said celebrity is Chris McLean, renown sadist and all-around disaster of a man. This guy absolutely pawns off the majority of his work onto you, meaning it falls onto your shoulders to; corral the on-set interns into some semblance of competency, make sure that each challenge is properly set up and ready to go, make sure Chris himself is set up and ready to go, and put up with regular coffee run requests. That's a lot of work for one 16~17 year old, even if you are a certified genius.

You're overworked, sleep-deprived and two seconds away from snapping at the nearest intern at any given moment.

And then, during the filming of the latest season, the guy you hand picked to star in the non-existent "Total Drama Dirtbags" (mostly because he was better looking than his brother, who also applied) tries to charm and flirt his way into you giving him advantages in the competition- or at the very least, trick you into divulging information on their next challenge. It's as if he thinks you're somehow not aware of the fact that he's a total scumbag, despite knowing you work on the show and therefore have seen both his acts of sabotage and the confessions in which he plots them.

Suffice to say, you're kind of insulted. I mean, really? Flirting? You don't even have time for something as trivial as a relationship, or even a fling! There's challenges to set up, international negotiations to suffer through, and unpaid interns to boss around- your schedule's booked!

And yet he keeps flirting with you, even after you've snubbed him multiple times. At this point you're pretty sure it's become a point of wounded pride for him, instead of the game tactic it started as; after all, his charms have worked on pretty much everyone on the cast, what makes you so different?

Eventually, as the herd thins, you decide to warn your best friend (who's somehow miraculously remained in the competition, despite his 'team leader's' obvious dislike of him) about Alejandro's less-than-noble intentions. Owen misconstrues your selfless act of solidarity as a sign of jealousy, or god forbid 'denial of your feelings', towards Alejandro. Which, what? No, that's not it at all! The one time you try to be a good friend and this is how you're repaid?

Alejandro overhears this, unfortunately, and seems to take the fact that you're not fooled by his obviously fake mask as some sort of personal affront. Of course, as the person who's essentially running the show, there's not much he can do to you besides carry on being the nuisance he is- which is exactly what he does, but more.

Suddenly, his flirting from before seems like nothing, because now he's really trying to get under your skin with that same plastic charm; it's like he took the dial to his natural flirtatiousness and turned it to eleven. It's annoying. And worse, it's getting in the way of your work flow.

You'd love to stage his elimination, but you know the public outcry from his untimely departure from the show would outweigh the relief of being rid of him, so you resolve to do as you have been; ignoring Alejandro until he gets bored. (That's easier said than done- he's really good at getting under your skin, like the thorns on a rose bush.)

To make matters Even Worse, your elusive appearances on the show- as Chris' personal assistant it would be impossible to avoid the cameras entirely, but you'd bribed the editing team to cut as much of your unwitting footage from the final edit as they could- paired with your 'entertaining dynamic' with Alejandro has the viewers clambering for more, so now you're obligated to act as a de facto co-host alongside your boss.

So now you're stuck having to at least acknowledge Alejandro, if only to give the editors something to work with. Great.

At least, that's what my take on an Assistant Noah AU would entail.🤷‍♀️

#imagine if you will-💥#yes i wrote this in second person. i'm trying something new. something more immersive.#the sudden influx of noah-centric AUs on this blog continues to astound me #you guys really love throwing ideas at me pertaining to one (1) cynical nerd #not that i'm complaining 🤭#this could be interpreted as alenoah but i'm gonna throw a curveball here and say--#it's one-sided alenoah on alejandro's part and noah is either--#heavily aspec (projecting) or crushing on owen (nowen supremacy) because there's already so much alenoah in my AUs #(...or alenowen perhaps?)#total drama #td noah #td alejandro #td owen #silly ideas #others' ideas #assistant noah #replies

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bruh-myguy-what · 2 years

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If Not Him, Perhaps Me

Good evening, fellow mutuals! I come bearing a gift! I am making a series and I’m super excited about it! Thrawn will be a little in between Legends!Thrawn and New Canon!Thrawn. It’s going to follow the plot of the Heir to the Empire series very loosely. Just let me know if you want to be tagged in updates.

Here is the first chapter!

Enjoy~

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Pairing- Thrawn x f!reader x Luke Skywalker

Summary- Grand Admiral Thrawn finds out there is someone special traveling alongside Luke Skywalker and the other members of the rebellion. His interest is piqued, perhaps kidnapping you will help placate Master C’baoth.

Word Count- 3K+

Warnings- Kidnapping, pinning, slight angst

___________________________________________________________________

“We have the location of the Millennium Falcon, sir,” Captain Pellaeon explained to the Grand Admiral who was sitting stoically at his desk. Pellaeon was used to the atmosphere are the Grand Admiral’s office, Rhuk tended to startle him now and again still…. but otherwise, it was familiar. He’d approached the desk with his datapad in hand, eyes skimming the locations he was given by someone in the bridge crew. The dark room was illuminated only by the soft blue glow of the holo projected image shown between the two men. Thrawn was examining his art again, Pellaeon noted. His glowing red eyes narrowed as they focused, the glow seeming to make his blue completion even more alien.

All was silent for longer than Pellaeon ever really enjoyed in the presence of the Grand Admiral. It made him feel as if he were the one being studied as if he needed to answer questions to pass some silent test, he wasn’t aware he’d been given. Especially with the look of thoughtfulness in Thrawn’s fiery gaze, as if he were waiting for the captain to say something. The only sound that softened the silence was the humming from the holo, giving Pellaeon at least some relief from the dead air surrounding him. “Interesting,” Thrawn murmured just loud enough for the captain to hear. ‘Finally,’ Pellaeon thought to himself, letting out a silent breath, only to hold it moments later when nothing else was said.

Was he going to continue or was Pellaeon required to respond? He went back and forth just long enough in his mind for the decision to be made for him as the Grand Admiral stood from his chair, tilting his head slightly to the side in thought. “Do you see something odd in this image, Captain?”

So, it was a test.

Pellaeon hadn’t noticed anything unique about the picture before him. Though, if he were honest, he hadn’t even paid any attention to what Thrawn was examining. Partially because whenever Thrawn was examining pictures, Pellaeon could never glean the same information the Chiss could, so Pellaeon ignored the images for the most part. Though this time…

As he narrowed his eyes to make sense of the image, he noticed that it was a picture of the Falcon, docked at some low-level city Pellaeon probably didn’t even know. And what’s more, people were walking out of the large ship. It wasn’t too long before Pellaeon noticed he hadn’t said anything, so he spoke up, “Uhm, I don’t see much, sir. It just looks like the Millennium Falcon to m-“

“Look at the people, Captain.” Thrawn edged, cutting Pellaeon off mid-sentence, “tell me, who are the people that you see.”

Pellaeon felt that if he narrowed his eyes any further they’d be closed entirely, but he managed to make out what the Admiral was asking for, “well, sir,” he began, “I see Solo, Organa-Solo, the Wookie, Skywalker and his astro-mech.” Then his brows furrowed in confusion when he noticed what Thrawn had meant, “Wait a second.” and- wait.” There was another person alongside Skywalker. A young woman.

Standing straight, Pellaeon chanced a quizzical glance at Thrawn, “It’s a woman, sir.”

Nodding, Thrawn’s eyes were like glowing cracks of a volcano, lava peering near the edges as they focused intently on the image of the woman. “Indeed, it is.” The deep voice but a whisper in the quarters. Clearly in thought, Thrawn clasped his hands behind his back and hummed with intrigue.

“I was unaware another person was traveling with them. I thought it was just the four of them- including the Wookie, of course.” Pellaeon echoed what he thought Thrawn was thinking.

The image of the woman beside the Jedi took the entirety of the holo-projector now, showing her clearly. “As was I.” Evidently, Thrawn was in a curt reply kind of mood today, Pellaeon noted with a jolt of annoyance.

Clearing his throat to cover up for his lack of words, the captain chewed on the inside of his cheek before inquiring, “what are we going to do with this information, Admiral? If she isn’t anyone significant does this mean anything to us?” If they had no idea she even existed until now, she couldn’t be anyone they would need for any type of advance in Imperial expansion, right?

“Perhaps not, Captain,” Thrawn began, placing his hand on his chin thoughtfully, “though, I do not imagine she is like Calrissian, someone who is simply an ally when accessible. No.” He went silent again briefly as Pellaeon waited for the continued clarification. “Perhaps we have not seen her until now because she is…special to Skywalker.”

Perplexity nestled itself once more between Pellaeon’s brows as he looked between the image and Thrawn. “Special, sir?” And with Thrawn’s nod of agreement, the captain persistent, “how so? Don’t you think we would’ve known before now about her had she been significant to Skywalker? And how do we know she’s significant to him exclusively, why not Solo and Organa-Solo? Or perhaps another member of this… New Republic?”

Walking around to join Pellaeon on the other side of his desk, the Chiss stood towering. “I do not believe so. You see, if she were meaningful to any of the other members, or perhaps just another member of the rebellion, she would’ve been on our radar.” Thrawn shook his head in thought, “but she is standing rather close to Skywalker- he is sheltering her, subconsciously safeguarding her. She is cherished by him.” He repeated himself, though it seemed more for his own sake of processing judgments than to benefit Pellaeon.

“So, what are we to do with this knowledge then, sir?”

A conspiratorial smile began to rise on Thrawn’s blue lips, “we are going to take her aboard the Chimera, captain.” He countered evenly.

Pellaeon felt his eyes widen considerably, “aboard the- why on earth would we take her if she’s just someone special to-“ then it made sense. “Of course, we bring her aboard the Chimera as a captive- Skywalker is bound to find his way to us rather than us pursuing him and the Falcon around the galaxy.”

Nodding in support, the Grand Admiral shut down the holo-projector and a satisfied smile played on his lips now as he met Pellaeon’s eyes. “Indeed, captain. If we can bring the Jedi to us, then we shall placate C’baoth and gain what we seek from him.” He lingered a moment, allowing Pellaeon time to gather the information himself, then continued. “It shall save us time and resources to have a negotiating tool for persuading Skywalker.”

“Yes, of course!” Pellaeon agreed fervently. It seemed as if the Empire had been running around in circles to catch the young Jed, Skywalker, and his sister for the crazed man aboard the Chimera. Many considered it to be a waste of time- as did Pellaeon, truthfully. Though, Thrawn was always unsurpassed at seeing the bigger picture, so the captain simply agreed and followed his orders vehemently. The Empire was so dispersed and chaotic now; second guessing one of its last enduring hopes to salvage what was left wasn’t in the best interest of anyone seeking the splendid end they worked hard to achieve.

“Then let us be off, Captain. I have some things I wish to discuss with the bridge crew before we finalize any moves.” His voice back to its usual passive tone as he gestured toward the door for Pellaeon to lead the way. “Then we shall begin our final plans for reconstructing the Empire.”

___________________________________________________________________

“Chewie, I understand you don’t like it, but you really should try some! You said it’s been years since you had any.” Your voice was lighthearted as you pestered the Wookie. The cookies from the port you’d bought for the group were the highlight of your day and not being able to share with some of them was a letdown. But the Wookie was obstinate- as usual.

He growled his discontentment, and you pouted up at him, “Come on Chewie! Just one?” You pleaded as you wiggled one of the round sugars up at him. The height difference displayed between the two of you was enough to make Han chuckle from across the lounge area.

“Sorry, (y/n),” the man laughed, kicking his feet up onto the bar stool next to him, “you know how stubborn he can be. If he doesn’t want it, he won’t- HEY!” Han barked in disbelief as Chewbacca took the cookie from you and popped it into his mouth, the sweet vanishing behind fur and teeth.

The complete shock on Han’s face made a laugh bubble up from you this time, and Chewbacca snorted a rumbling sound of his own sort of laughter, joining yours. “You did that just to spite my words, didn’t you?” The man complained crossing his arms furiously at his furry friend.

“There’s no way,” Leia said feigning offense for her large friend, “Chewie would never do something to make you look bad, Han.” This made you laugh even more at Han’s expense, the laughter that joined in from behind startled you faintly.

It was Luke. His delightful, carefree laugh sounded like music in the lounge. “It does seem to be something he makes a clear effort to do, Han.” The Jedi added his jab, teasing his brother-in-law.

Chewbacca roared over the amusement of the group, getting his point across. “I do not need to be ‘knocked down a few pegs’, Chewie!” Han disputed, aggravation noticeable in his tone as it slithered between clenched teeth. “You’re just making a show for (y/n) and you know it.” He added under his breath as his wife came over to make over her “wounded” husband.

Luke was still chuckling as he strode over to the large Wookie, patting him on the arm encouragingly, “no worries, pal,” he began with a pleasant smile up at the creature, then softening it as his eyes fell onto you. “Even I make a show for her sometimes, it’s hard not to want her attention.” The warmth behind his eyes radiated over to your cheeks, it seemed, as you replayed his words immediately in your head.

The Jedi was hardly ever affectionate, especially in front of others. It wasn’t like you two were together… or anything of the sort, of course. He was still a Jedi and he’d told you plenty of times before, “Jedi cannot form attachments”. While you understood his commitment and reverence for his path, it was a struggle to have him so hot and cold. One minute he’d say sweet things like he just had or would admire you from afar before saying “I just can’t take my eyes off you sometimes. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You wanted so desperately to wrap yourself in his arms and know that it was going to be an unceasing connection, but with him pulling you closer and pushing you away, it was difficult to let anything he said sink too deep into your heart. “Thanks, Luke. Ya know,” you offered softly with your own indulgent smile, “your attention isn’t too bad now and then.” Even though his noncommittal attitude toward your relationship was tough, you didn’t want the flame to go out entirely in whatever kind of relationship you both shared. So, for the moment, anything you could get from him was a treasure to you.

A forced retching sound came from Han, “just kiss already, stars, you’re killing me over here.”

“Han!” Leia chided quickly, smacking her husband on the shoulder. The incredulous look he received was met with a shrug.

“What?” He queried argumentatively.

Luke cleared his throat uneasily but looked over at Han with a tight smile, “Han, you know we aren’t together…” He defended a little blunter than he had anticipated and recoiled when he felt you wince through the force.

“Well, why not? You guys are getting on my nerves.” Han grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

Leia’s eyes widened severely, warning him to back off. “Stop it,” she whispered only to him.

Han threw his hands out in defeat, “what?! For kriffs sake, they need to either do something about it or get it out of my-“

While Han and Leia argued over the obvious tension between you and Luke, a comm chime echoed through the lounge.

It was Han’s.

“Yeah,” Han answered gruffly, still annoyed with his heated discussion with his wife.

It was quiet amongst the group as he spoke with whoever was on the other end. The silence was deafening to you and the uncomfortable tension riddling between you and the Jedi beside you was creating an even more anxious position. The steel floor seemed to intrigue you more than anything else in the room, at the moment- that and the skirts of your dress.

It always surprised people to learn that you weren’t a part of the team of rebels who fought, and wearing a dress seemed outrageous to many but you preferred it over some of the other things that had been offered to you. It wasn’t too long, resting perfectly above your ankles and the simple cotton material was breathable, so running or any of the other numerable things you were required to do in the merry band of chaos, was easily manageable.

“(Y/n), I-“ Luke started softly, after watching you from the corner of his eye for a moment. He’d never meant to be so insensitive with his words, but they just came out so quickly in defense after Han’s comment. “I didn’t mean-“

“It’s Lando,” Han interjected, oblivious to the conversation Luke was trying to start. “He needs our help. We’ve gotta go, now.”

Neglecting the explanation he’d begun, as if the soft words never left his lips, Luke nodded and patted his hip in search of the hilt of his lightsaber, “alright, I’m ready whenever you are.” He offered resolutely.

Han turned to Leia with an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry, sweets, you know I hate arguin’ and then leavin’.” His voice was soft as he spoke to her this time, touching her cheek with his rough fingers. Every time they argued he blamed himself because Leia was perfect to him, she’d never given a reason for him to argue with her.

Sighing into his touch, Leia nodded with a grin, “I know, Han.” Then she stood to hug him, minding the bump of her womb. “I swear the twins make me more irritable,” she joked in his ear, making him laugh into her shoulder. “I love you, please be safe. I know you won’t let me go with you this time- which we will argue about later- but come back in one piece, Solo.” She warned as they pulled apart.

“Chewie, you’re staying here to watch the girls, got it?” Luke ordered in the soft way he typically did when supplying directions.

“Yeah, make sure Leia and the twins are safe,” Han doubled down on the directions given to the Wookie standing beside Luke. “Oh, and (y/n) too, I guess.” Sticking your tongue out in reprisal, you crinkled your nose at Han’s lame account of a joke.

“A little early for the dad jokes, don’t you think, Han?” You griped.

Leia and Han made their way to the dock where Luke’s X-Wing was ready for flight, giving the two of you some space. Luke left a minute of silence amongst you, both of you evading eye contact. “I want you to stay safe, please,” Luke sighed, “at least until I get back, and then-“

Before he could make any false promises that he’d made a few other times, you smiled up at him affectionately, forcing back the pain of seeing him leave again with no resolution between the two of you. “I’ll be fine. Chewie is a great bodyguard.” You guaranteed.

“He is, I just want to make sure you know that I- well, I…” breaking off from his disarray of words, Luke huffed, encircling you within his arms. His warmth encased you like a weighted blanket, easing all strain on your shoulders. “I’m sorry.” Was all he said as he held you tighter for what felt like sheer seconds, then departed down the hall toward the dock without looking back.

A few days later- after Han and Luke left- the Falcon sailed along the stars heading toward Coruscant. Inside, Leia made herself busy with a few undertakings she had been working on for the council.

Meanwhile, you and Chewbacca were playing a card game. A snarl came from the Wookie, accusing you. “Excuse me! I am not cheating, you wet dog,” you defended, feigning outrage at the claim. “Take it back,” you added simply, holding your cards to your chest.

Opening his mouth to argue, Chewbacca was cut off by an alarm sounding and the Falcon lurching forward with the motion of being caught in a tractor beam. “Chewie!” Leia shouted from the other side of the room.

The Wookie stood as swiftly as his large body abled him and strode over to the monitor to see that an Imperial ship had attached itself and was boarding, releasing a host of Storm Troopers. Chewbacca’s heightened roar disturbed you and Leia as you shared a glance. “Chewie, did you say troopers?!” You barked, dread clouding your vision.

Chewbacca rumbled his validation, and your eyes instantly went to Leia. They were here for her and the twins, you knew it. “You’ve got to hide, Leia.”

She eyed you, “what about you?! What if they take you?” She snapped bitterly as she placed a steadying hand on her stomach to calm the raging children inside. They knew they were in danger too. She hated not being able to protect them as Luke could. Maybe if she were able to train more, become a better Je-

Her thoughts were abruptly distributed by an unexpected blast, sending the locked door soaring off its hinges. In the cover of the dust and debris, Leia hid behind one of the toppled tables, crunching herself up as much as her swollen belly would let her. She prayed you were doing the same.

“There she is!” A modulated voice roared, pointing toward you as you sat on the floor, hand pressed against your forehead to stop the ringing in your ears. Chewbacca bounded over to you, striking at a few of the troopers, howling. “Shoot him!” Another modulated voice ordered.

A loud blaster bolt sounded throughout the lounge room, ringing again in your ears, dizzying you further. “Chewie!” You cried as his large hairy frame met the floor. “No!” Hoisting you up on your feet, you kicked and pulled to get away from the Storm Troopers. “Chewie, wake up!”

Leia sat there trembling, she knew she should do something, but this was serious, and Chewie was on the floor. She could feel his force still, so she knew he wasn’t gone, but what about you? She had to do something…but the twins. She couldn’t risk the twins. If something happened to her or the twins, Han would never forgive himself. But if something happened to you…she would never forgive herself either.

“This is her.” One trooper said, seizing your jaw roughly, and turning your head back and forth.

“You sure?” Another asked from behind you. “She don’t look so special.” He mumbled loud enough for you to hear.

“Nah, this is the one the Admiral sent us for, I promise. Let’s get out of here!”

“Let me go!” You wrestled but your voice trailed away as they pulled you down the hall back toward their awaiting ship and into starry space.

Leia was stone stiff, tears soaking her cheeks as she stared vacantly at the wall. It felt like an eternity before she had the strength to turn around and peer over the edge of the overturned table. You were nowhere to be seen and Chewbacca was still unconscious on the floor. Lei stood on unsteady legs, simultaneously gripping the wall and her stomach to ground her. “Sh-she’s gone…” She whispered after a few moments. Eyes scanning the area for any signs, she let out a mangled breath of panic, remorse, and nausea. The tears came in waves as she fought to remain standing, sobbing to herself. “The Imperials took her!”

Tags- @myevilmouse

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitthrawnuruodo #thrawn trilogy #luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #thrawn x reader #star wars #star wars x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfic #sw fanfic #star wars fanfiction #thrawn fanficiton #luke skywalker fanfiction #bruhwhat stories #if not him perhaps me part 1

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