#past lives near me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

awarenesshealing · 1 year

Text

0 notes

unfortunatelyilikebnha · 1 month

Text

Bnha makes me so mad because it could’ve been good. It had a lot of good aspects. But in the end none of them were satisfyingly resolved so it just feels bad.

#UGHHHHHH ik a million people have made posts like this but it’s pissing me off rn!#the ‘unfortunately’ in my username is more pointed than ever #(not that I’ve had a lot of hope it’d end well for a long ass time.#it’s just frustrating to make me love these characters and get attached to this world and then execute their stories so terribly.)#honestly I’d probably change my username to smth else (and I still might) if I hadn’t had it for so long #it’d be annoying if it messed up links in my past posts #but having smth vanguard related might be fun…#bnha critical #mha critical #<- tagging those so no one jumps down my throat for stating an opinion on my personal blog #and like. I’m not doing this to be a hater. I LIKE these characters and some of this story is very near and dear to my heart #I’m also not saying everything I didn’t like is a writing flaw #and in fact a lot of the things I didn’t like I think should stay there just get meaningfully addressed #but good godddddddddd it’s upsetting to see a story I cared abt sm & I leaned on during some shit end like this #whatever.#I haven’t even actually been keeping up besides looking at the spoilers for years now #it’s not like I’m gonna stop thinking abt the version that lives in my head. it’s just a shame about the official ending that’s all.#at the end of the day I’m not the author horikoshi is and that’s how he chose to end his story.

37 notes · View notes

spaghett-onaplate · 4 months

Text

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

23 notes · View notes

faaun · 5 months

Text

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

25 notes · View notes

danothan · 1 year

Text

cybersix liveblogging continues w ep 2

congrats on her transition

is this cat her brother

so she pushed her brother off a cliff (or was trying to save him, but he remembers it wrong) and their dad brought him back to life by turning him into a panther?? classic

aw they were so cute :( but i don’t understand, if she disguised herself to live as a dead boy, then who is this brother? did he run away with her? who did he disguise himself as then? or was he the brother of the real adrian bc if so, that’s way more fucked up

poor cybersix. but also thank god her brother is still alive or else julian might’ve ended up living as the ghost of some dead kid

so are those press-ons or does adrian have rly long nails too (also. dear god they put that boy’s brain in a cat)

oh she’s rly abt to cry, this is the most emotional we’ve seen her so far. yayy happy ending! just a superhero lady and her panther brother and this random kid they found off the street ☺️

#danbles #cybersix #it only occurred to me near the end that cybersix still thought her brother was dead #idk why but i assumed she thought that his transformation into a panther basically erased him #so she was holding on to the past and forced to confront him as a twisted memory in her present #but nope he’s fully conscious! wonder where they’ll go from here or if he’ll run off and live his own life #wait also i just realized her hand holding the photo the first time vs the second time have completely dif nail lengths #dang her nails grow fast lmao /j

103 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 6 months

Text

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

48 notes · View notes

hella1975 · 9 months

Text

just think this time tomorrow ill be publicly indecent in a spoons somewhere. i am so strong

#ONE MORE EXAM. WE CAN DO THIS. I WILL BE DONE IN LITERALLY LESS THAN 24 HOURS NOW #AND THEN THE NEXT EXAM SEASON ISNT UNTIL MAY. COME ON GIRL #we have such a fun plan for tomorrow though bc the consensus has just been 'we need to get fucking mangled after this exam'#like i havent been out-out in WEEKS the closest i came was the end of december for a hometown house party of all things #i didnt even go out for nye. let's all take a moment and consider the implications for someone like me NOT GOING OUT ON NYE #so i am OVERDUE a good night out and then on top of that ive had exams be SO fr #and also this is the first year where my main friendship group (i.e not my housemates but my actual social circle)#are ALL econ students like there's about five of us and we all do econ and yeah two of them ive been mates with since first year #(the girl is my best mate at uni and is always who im on about if i talk about a 'girl on my course' and the lad is the one i lived with #in first year and have kind of got a thing with now?) BUT THE OTHERS ARE NEW ADDITIONS AND THAT'S SO FUN #so we're ALL gonna tip out of that exam and then me and her are gonna go back to mine to get ready bc am i fuck doing make-up #before that exam. the STATES i have shown up in these past few days i think the invigilators are worried about me #and then we're meeting the lads at the pub and starting there and THEN going spoons bc it's me and the girl's tradition #(calling her just 'the girl' is so funny. woman 🫵) after exams to buy each other mystery shots at spoons and we HAVE to drink them #and then one of the lads really wants to go to a karaoke bar for some reason?? so that might be in my future #AND THEN we're going clubbing. im so ready. take me home vodka shots. the end is near please please please #hella goes to uni

23 notes · View notes

rosicheeks · 3 months

Text

🙃

#just want to apologize to anyone who has tried to reach out lately #just like I texted my friend I’ll tell you guys the same #haven’t been talking to a lot of people lately tbh #pretty sure I’ve mentioned php a few times by now #monday was my last day #and I was feeling on top of the world on Monday #I don’t remember the last time I was so genuinely happy #figured it was the med change or something #so I was feeling pretty optimistic #I’m in between programs now #and today was not the best #not as bad as some of my days #but definitely not even near the day I had on Monday #I just wish I could feel that every single day #I’m working on it but still #waiting to start ‘adult day treatment’ and case management #and I think case management will help me find a place??? I’m not sure exactly but that’s kinda what I was getting #which honestly? I know I’ve bitched about how badly I need to move #but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought #idk there’s a lot more deeper things that I don’t wanna talk about #but the fact I don’t have space and I don’t feel safe and comfortable here is hard….#my ‘safe’ space was my car but now that I’m trying to quit smoking my car isn’t the best place for me #I’ve been kinda getting used to my room and I’m finally trying to move a few things around #(now that I have a little energy again)#it’s just……. my arachnophobia is KILLING me here #in the past week I don’t even know how many spiders I’ve seen and killed #they haven’t been crazy and I recognize I don’t live in Australia or places where the spiders are as big as fucking cars #I came home and I was in a good mood until I saw a spider in my room 🙃🙃🙃 tried to vacuum it but not sure if I got it……..#so guess im sleeping on the couch….. again…. but can’t help think if out here is any better…#shut up rosie

8 notes · View notes

spotlightstudios · 2 months

Text

Ohoho, I love getting ready to leave the house for months at a time and hearing my parents talk about putting down our cats. Very enriching and not at all stressing me tf out.

#light's spot #hi irl moots I'm fine #just one of my scream into the void moments #because my mother seems to think all of her life troubles stem from our cats and not her own issues #like damn. the one's old sure but he's not anywhere near dead. the other is a perfect healthy young dude who lives outside #I'd rather her take her rage out on me than them because they rely on us. we're all the one knows. it's not his fault #I'm just so so so sick of hearing her talk about them like this #it's the third time in the past few weeks and I'm afraid because I'm leaving home to go back to uni soon and I have no say #just freaky as hell.#tw death #i guess incase anyone doesn't wanna see my mention of the topic #but damn it really downed my mood. feel sick af #gonna try and doodle the feelings away smh

6 notes · View notes

m-kyunie · 2 years

Photo

elegance.

#dgm #D.Gray-Man #Alma Karma #cw blood #my head is filled w thoughts of Alma as a bride in a huge kitsch 80s dress #okay maybe not 80s more 60s/70s. thinking of my moms dress actually so #lots of lace long gloves puffy sleeves swooping neckline muah smtg guady #UGH or Princess Diana's oh exactly like that #just think about how past!Alma wldve thought abt potentially getting married and starting a family 'after the war'#Her covering Her face as an Akuma saying 'don't look at me' lives in my head forever. her excorcist uni #is quite tradtional and seems unpractical for battle but its def feminine to the MAX #so just. idk how to explain it but the body dysphoria i guess #Alma wanting tofit that echo of pretty but being all wrong for it. hair too dark to unruly adams apple sharp angular broad all wrong #wanting to be soft and slim and pretty pretty pretty.hiding it under layers of clothes and lace and accessories...#or being basicly the same height as Kanda and lamenting over it like nonono this is all wrong #tearing at their hair and picking the skin and scratching and ripping the dress and breathing awful #'not pretty not a woman will never be Her for //Him// never be enough' mentality #evevn tho Kanda literally does not fucking care about any of that like it doesnt even cross his mind hello hes trans duh they all r #idk i interpret them both as slightly diff like Alma seems much more in-tune w Her on an unconscious level its very emotional = turmulious/#VS Kanda who is very mentally inflicted its very physical and obsessive/conious thought near impossible to ignore ie the lotus n Her vision #so they act diff bc the influence of their Other is different. idk what im trying to say anymore actually. lmk if that makes sense T-T #ALL THAT JUST TO SAY I WANTED TO DRAW ALMA IN A WEDDING DRESS LMFAO IM SORRY IM CRAZY

140 notes · View notes

gayspock · 7 months

Text

genuinely though i love and support the idea behind DIYing and thrifting a load of shit & i try to do that where i can but its absolutely unrealistic for so many ppl. especially DIY & yet ppl bring it up so cavalier.... like yeah of course its cheap when you already have all the tools, the talent, and the space to flip furniture in. but like if youre a complete amateur its genuinely scary and a complete gamble to sink a load of money, time, and resources into stuff... -_- and its like yeah. ofc its a skill that i would love to build, and i do think a base level of it is necessary. but its like... i can watch all the youtube videos i like and prep all i like. if i try to put panelling up by myself, being 5'2'' with no upper body strength, no space to work, and a physical awkwardness i can only describe as concerning, its like im gonna blow a hole in my pocket with my go-getter attitude twice as large when it comes to having to get someone to fix it too

#egg.txt #and yeah i know you dont have to start big but i do still think resources and sinking money into even small things is a fucking nightmare #too #i could try simple paint jobs and im sat here agonising over what i need to use on every type of material #lest i ruin the furniture & end up with a flaky mess for years that i cant fix #or just a fuck ugly colour #and its like realistically yeah fuck ups happen when youre learning any skill but #when its something like that and theres a significant monetary cost incurred im like ok. im out...#and thrifting too. i try my best to check whenever i go past places #but i dont have a car and the one furniture thrift place near me is open during work hours #and doesnt have anything for me #and i could go further out #and i could try to go to every place near me possible #but when you work fulltime and again. do not have transportation. and you live alone. 😭#i can do it slowly over time but i feel like the more im searching the more im just burning my time and energy

7 notes · View notes

stellacadente · 11 days

Text

person on the bus who didn't free the disabled seats they were occupying with their most likely abled ass and their fucking BAG when an old person with a cane got on and was searching for a seat you will go to hell i'll make sure of it

#they sat in the seat next to the disabled ones and now there isn't that much difference in this case #but it's infuriating bc i've seen people not get up even if there aren't other comfortable/close to the exit seats #and just out of principle you shouldn't even be sitting there in the first place!!!! bc someone might get on the bus and need it any time!!#and 99% of the time ppl seat there even when there's other free seats. like even putting aside that you should leave them free full stop #ppl literally couldn't care less about disabled ppl oh my god they don't even think twice about using those seats it doesn't even cross #their mindssss #ok lol i was writing these tags then i got to my stop which was also that disabled person's stop and another couple of people's #and this fucking asshole all but sped past that old person so they could get off before them. it was so fucking rude like they were getting #up from their seat to go near the exit but god forbid that slows you - poor abled person - down!#i swear to god people are so ableist and public transport CONSTANTLY reminds me of that. jesus #find some shame on the way to the lowest pit of hell #not to mention btw that the disabled seats in most buses where i live are a fucking joke i've been thinking of sending the public transport #companies suggestions on how to make them better and actually useful/accessible #they will of course ignore them and it will make me angrier but yeah have to try right #nico rambles

4 notes · View notes

kushanna · 13 days

Text

#very good to see this question being adressed finally since it's the only thing i've been talking about for the past two episodes!!#also ugh. nothing makes me more stressed out than this eternal (eternal since episode 3) question of #whether or not beato is putting on a facade. or something in between. i'm not even joking it makes me SO upset #though i figure at this point i just gotta go ahead and put my hand near the fire hoping it doesn't burn me. which is what i want to do #cause i think i'd rather make a fool of myself (again) than to be forever in deep mistrust of everything. who lives like that?!#without love it cannot be seen i guess?? lmao now i'm just saying whatever but yeah i don't think this is a story that's #insincere and cynical at it's core so. obviously i will think as well lol use my head but yeah. you know what i mean #in any case my clown hat will be ready. ughh it's all lambdadelta's fault #anyways changing the subject completely. remember when beato called herself furniture in the balcony scene #that was so funny of her wasn't it 🥴#personal #umineko spoilers

4 notes · View notes

cuntwrap--supreme · 1 month

Text

My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.

Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"

#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean #but she's slipping a little mentally #she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6 #but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult #and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide #and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age #she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again #her hearing is starting to get shit too #I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep #i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer #but that's what I'm most scared of #because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough #she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog #old dog #senior dog #clio #joe biden mention

2 notes · View notes

calliopechild · 9 months

Text

I thought I managed to get through all the holiday travel without getting sick but lmao oh BOY have I been proven wrong. 😩 Rocking a fever and some sinus pressure/congestion that quite frankly should be illegal, though thankfully that seems to be the extent of it; nothing that screams Covid, thank God. Gonna be ushering in the New Year with cold meds and a lot of kleenex, apparently. 🤧🤒

#living alone and being lucky enough to work remotely means I rarely get sick #the flipside of that is that I feel like I turn into a total sadsack when I'm sick bc I'm not used to it lol #the thing I'm salty about is that I was wearing an n95 the whole trip while flying/at the airport #minus the maybe 10 minutes at a time I'd take it off to eat #frankly it is some bullshit that that was apparently enough to catch something #ya girl is driving back up north for birthdays in the spring or she is not going #bc this shit sucks #and God knows it's way too much to expect other people to slap a mask on if they're sick #RIP to my nye plans of chinese food; I can't go near a restaurant like this 😔#but shoutout to past me for the chicken soup I stuck in the freezer 'cause that's gonna come in clutch

6 notes · View notes

yardsards · 1 year

Text

,,,i miss Her (the ocean)

#eliot posts #i live in a landlocked state and can't really afford to travel #but when i was a teen me and my sis would get sent off to spend a couple weeks w our cousins by the beach #(while our parents stayed home and kept working but enjoyed childlessness lol)#but a mix of adulthood and covid and my aunt passing away means that hasn't happened the past couple years #i miss my aunt as well she was a sweetie pie but that's not a quirky text post you know #my grandparents are taking me on a cruise later this summer though!#i'm excited but a bit nervous bc i've never been on a cruise before #but i do love boats so yay #idk how much i'll enjoy the Activities involved w being on a cruise and i think i may dislike the crowds #(also the pollution put out by the cruise industry oofa doofa)#but i'm excited to have this bew experience at least once in my life #first i gotta clean my apartment and find a petsitter and prolly get more covid shots and pack my bags. bleh.#oh also! i'm hoping to move to savannah georgia after i graduate!#fingers crossed that all works out #but it seems like a near perfect city for my personal needs #just gotta find a job and apartment there after graduating #also. gotta graduate lol

14 notes · View notes