#people literally pointed and laughed whenever I stalled. but just look at me now!

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

9 Days of Lancaster: Dealer's Choice/First Date

I struggled to consider what I was doing right now my first date. Especially with the context that recollections of some of Pyrrha’s and I’s ‘outings’ provided.  

Fuck.

Not dwelling on that. 

By any other measure, a stroll through some town market with a guy and a girl who were now a thing was a date, right? Even though it was a patrol and we did basically the same thing yesterday, now it was different. Now we were ‘together.’

Ruby didn’t seem to mind at all, though, she flowed from place to place with her typical energy. It was as though she’d never been through these streets and past these stalls. She could just walk up to some person and talk to them. 

I… I really liked that about her.

Fuck.

She called me over from some RV that seemed to be a permanent feature in the square. Some short-term-long-term food-truck-restaurant? I wasn’t sure, but when she spun and called to me with a wave, I felt my jaw and was struck by the realization that I wasn’t sure just how long I’d been holding my teeth clenched together.

My face ached but she made me smile anyways as I paced over to her.

She smiled right up at me and I had to look away. I really wasn’t sure how I was even supposed to look at her. I almost meant that literally. Could I just, like, look at her now? Whenever I wanted?

I was trying not to be stressed about her of all things right now. Still, though…

“What’s up?”

“They’re moving people in from around the area.” She explained. I cocked my head. Beihfing and I had both been united about a panic. “They started a few weeks ago. I guess after the tower fell, a lot of people moved to bigger places, weird.”

Oh, maybe they hadn’t all died. Huh. “It's not that weird,” I disagreed, I eyed the woman Ruby had been talking to. She was twenty-five--thirty with blonde hair which made her stand out a little here, but her skin tone made her a match for some of the locals in terms of origin. “You had to run?”

“Well we couldn’t order dust or anything and it was pretty scary being mostly alone.” She shrugged, her casual ease with her emotions struck me. I was a total fucking stranger to her. Well, I was also a huntsman, so I didn’t analyze it and just nodded. “It was a good thing too, what with the other villages.”

I figured it was an open secret in GaiLong at this point, but I wasn’t sure. That kind of news would travel fast until everybody knew it at which point, why bother pretending? It was common knowledge.

“What’d you need?” I asked the two. 

It was Ruby who lured me in. “They wanted to pull the motor and alternator out of it and use it as a winch for other stuff. They’ve already pulled out all the bolts, but they don’t - well, if they already had a winch then they wouldn’t do this. 

“So?”

She rolled her eyes, “so nobody but you can lift it.”

The woman looked down at Ruby. “I’m telling you it weighs, like, four hundred pounds, easy.” I walked around and looked down into the hood. It was some dust-based thing with Atlas stamps, all smooth edges. It wasn’t designed to be repurposed. It was designed, perhaps, to not be able to be repurposed. Some technology was like that.

I reached down with one hand and, with a heave and a grunt, I lifted it and set it down. Ruby absolutely could have lifted it.

The woman blinked at me. “Oh uh.” Her eyes flicked to Ruby and back to me. “Could you set it over here? Then? If it’s not too much trouble?”

“Uh, no.” I returned.

She glanced at Ruby again. “No?”

“No, it’s not any trouble.” I clarified or tried to. “I didn’t mean… Not ‘no’…” I sighed. “Where do you want it?”

Ruby was laughing at me. I could see it as I passed her, following the woman to some cinder blocks. Our reward was something which I was assured was not ice-cream but was some kind of frozen custard-yogurt-stuff with sugar in it. 

To me it was good, for the time that I had it, that is. When we returned to the inn I still hadn’t showered after Ren and I trained that morning. Then I made the mistake of entrusting my teat to Ruby who had already nearly finished hers. 

When I got out of the shower there were only a few bites left of mine. “Ruby-“

“I left you some!” She pouted at me. I watched her take the last bite of hers from where she sat on her bed and set it daintily on the nightstand. Then she looked up and her smile never changed but she leaned forward onto her hands and stared at me.

I abruptly felt like covering myself, the towel and shorts I had on still showed off most of what I looked like. “Are you just going to stare at me?”

She blinked like I was alien. “Yeah.” Fair enough. I started putting on clothes anyways as she rolled around the bed. “I mean you stare at me, too, right.” I did. I had more than usual today, too, I didn’t want to hide what I felt from her. She continued, though. “I mean maybe not. Maybe, you like to look at girls like Sahov more?” 

“Who?” I wondered.

She tossed a pillow to my face. “The girl we were just talking to!” 

“Um…” I trailed off.

She slumped down into the covers. “Forget it.” 

“Ruby,” I started. I pulled a shirt over my head and began walking over to the bed. 

“I said forget it!”

I sat down. “Rubes you know you’re incredibly good looking right?”

“What?” She sat up from under the covers. “Yang’s the pretty one, I’m the cute one.”

“Ruby, if I didn’t know you and you came up to me on the street and started talking to me, I would assume I was being pranked somehow.”

“Ugh.” She let me know her disgust, but she wasn’t under the covers anymore and she was giving me this much sort of… sly smile.

I’d never seen that one before and it wasn’t something I usually associated with her. She crawled onto my lap and turned to face me, burying herself in the crook of my neck. I hesitated for a moment but let my arms rest around her slightly. 

“You really don’t think I’m cute.” She blushed. “I mean…”

“Oh yeah I just can’t stand to look at you,” I kissed her. Her bottom lip fit between my two and my ego was fed when I felt her relax in my arms. I chuckled as I pulled away.

She hit me and she was as red as I’d ever seen her. “Butt.” 

When I started laughing, she shut me down by kissing me again. 

[supercunninglinguist]

BACK FROM HIATUS

Even though I never declared one. my schedule was kept pretty full, so updating this blog wasn’t a priority. c’est la vie. but here I am.

2018 has had a weird start. but it’s an alright year so far, I guess.

Still living in Viet Nam. I drive a motorcycle now, a Hanamoto Nam, originally built in Laos. it’s helped me grow a new appreciation for mechanical systems, plus purchase price and self-maintenance is cheaper than renting a scooter. Recently, I’ve been pondering ways to bring advanced data science to corporations in this country as an industrial data analyst. it’s definitely possible, but, as a foreigner, there would be some significant hurdles to jump through. I also make money on the side by distilling natural insecticides (how I paid for my motorcycle!), and I’m really getting into vaporwave music.

My Vietnamese hasn’t really improved. I know some new words now and I can speak simple sentences, but it’s difficult to actually converse with Vietnamese individuals. even when I try my best to replicate proper tones and speech, they rarely recognize that I’m even trying to speak Vietnamese, and inevitably someone who speaks English comes over to help. literally every foreigner here that I have met who speaks fluent Vietnamese originally learned either by dating a Vietnamese person, or by taking classes. and since I don’t really have time to date or take classes... high regional diversity makes learning even more difficult. several times, I’ve learned words or phrases from one Vietnamese person and later been told by another Vietnamese person that “nobody would say it like that” or “people from [district\province\area] say that.” there’s some small phonetic\phonological differences between regiolects that can significantly impede acquisition.

Starting back in September, I wrote a new doctorate research project, and starting sending it to linguistics faculties in mid-November. the first version I sent out was not as good as it should have been, but subsequent revisions are much better. unfortunately, out of approximately 60 faculties (~40 linguistics faculties) that I contacted, none have shown interest. I haven’t sent an application in months, and I still receive a new rejection every 2-3 weeks. 5 soft categories of responses were noted: 1) This faculty does not focus on this research area, which is fine; 2) this is great and all but there’s nobody at this faculty who can supervise your project (which includes this faculty does not have the resources for a doctorate project like this), also fine, sure whatever; 3) This doesn't seem feasible\tractable\realistic\possible\logical\valid, which usually also included a hefty dose of you need to prove that this will work before we will even consider it, seems highly unfair, especially since the methods I’m advocating are already in use for 15 years and the citations for that are already in the proposal, plus how do I get the fucking data without an institution to back me up!? l; 4) This faculty is not interested in your project, fair enough, thats alright; 5) I can’t even understand what you’re proposing, like, come on, I know it’s complex and dense, but there’s a lot to say, and I did it with only 4 pages - did you try skimming any of the references or try using google or wikipedia? The worst response so far came from Dr. Mattis List, who literally just flat out responded with “this isn’t going to work”, and fallaciously attacked a very simplified example that I gave to him in order to help him understand the core concept of my proposal. Neither Dr. Heggarty nor Dr. Gray were particularly interested. Dr. Gerhard Jaeger had a fairly friendly response, but still questioned how feasible it actually is. My response to questions about tractability (which is a genuine concern, since a model must be economical in order to be feasible) has been: do you really think we can generate better resolutions for language typology, history, and ecology by retaining simple models and basic levels of information? Modelling a complex system requires a level of data that reflects the complexity of the source system. Groundbreaking results don’t just appear - innovations are required. after receiving rafts of negative, even some outright hostile, responses (mostly mocking my reductionist perspective on language), my opinion is that mainstream linguistics is ignoring this fact, and ignoring the additional fact that there are already methods for modelling complex systems, like human speech. and that these methods are already verified and in-use. so I’ve given up on rejoining the field of linguistics. y’alls be some orthodox mothafuckas, ya know that? Y’all like to pretend that you’ve moved past the formalist conceptions and theories of language but you really haven’t. There’s still a large and apparently high-level portion of the linguistics community that actively spurns the philosophy of computationalism and experimentation, who think that it’s a fad, and who also don’t even see the problems inherent to currently used methods (or don’t see them as problematic). I, on the other hand, think interdisciplinary linguistics is a better linguistics. or moreso, better to adopt methods from other disciplines than to have those disciplines steal chunks of research potential from linguistics. or better to be that person who steals chunks of research potential from linguistics for another field.

However, I might try new applications for 2018, but I’m really tired of dealing with academia. I turn 30 this year. I don’t have time to waste personalizing applications or writing 10 different variations on a research proposal to please every possible faculty that could be interested. at least if I present my ideas as a commercial venture to someone with dollar signs in their eyes, they’re going to see the potential dollar signs; that’s a hell of a lot better than an exhausted researcher who has exactly 2 days to review 80 reasonable doctorate candidates and their projects and choose which to actually consider. a close friend told me to not even bother with applying to linguistics faculties for next time, and I think he’s right. I might focus more on applying to mathematics and computer science faculties.

Here in Viet Nam, during the summer, air conditioning and mosquito spray\incense are your friends. Will exposing yourself to DEET and other synthetic insecticides possibly harm your body in currently-immeasurable\unknown ways? possibly, even probably; you know what will harm your body in currently-measurable\known ways? Getting dengue fever because you’re being bitten by at least 30 mosquitoes every night.

buying vegetables and fruits at the Cho (local open market) is so much cheaper and fun than the grocery store, but beware: unless the shopkeepers see that you’re a regular, a lot of them will try to rip you off. it can be annoying. but keep in mind: unless you can converse in Vietnamese with them, they’re almost always taking some extra time to help you obtain your products, so don’t be salty if you pay the foreigner-price; for a very large purchase at a cho, it’ll be maybe 35,000 VND extra.

guys, I can’t believe that there are only 2 episodes of Adventure Time left!

not much else to report on or to say at this time. if anyone in the tumblr science community is in a position to read and advance my proposal to a particular faculty, I’ll gladly email it to you, but I’m not making it publically available yet, and I would rather it not be shared or given to anyone without my consent first. I’ve already received some warnings - naming even specific faculties - about having my proposal unscrupulously stolen, and I have enough unfriendly acquaintances throughout linguistic academia that, yes, it is something I have to be worried about.

[anazen333]

How Masking has Affected Me

I don’t remember much about how I acted during my childhood. 

I do remember being asked a lot if I was sad when really I was just thinking. I stared into space a lot, imagining stories in my head. 

I remember a few times people took advantage of me because I didn’t realize they had ill intentions (like when I went to a sleepover once and one of the girls said I had the perfect skin for a desert princess look. When she finally finished, and I got a look in the mirror, it was only then that I realized why the other girls had been laughing - because she had made me look like a clown - literally clown like makeup).

I remember it was hard for me to make friends. Especially when we had to move a lot and my so-called friends never kept in touch. I was always the last one to make contact, and I would wonder what I had done wrong that they didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

Then high school came around and I got into singing. I remember being praised by my voice teacher for my skills, despite having almost no training. She encouraged me to enter a competition. And while I was one of the better singers there, I didn’t place. Because all I did was sing. During the entire performance I didn’t move. Because I thought the whole point of being a singer and listening to singers was about the voice (I always found it distracting when people moved while they sang). So my teacher recommended I get involved in the local youth theater group.

It was there that I learned how to ‘act’. I even took a workshop in it. My teacher spent most of the time getting me to stop smiling whenever I was portraying anger (I think I might have picked that up from an anime I was watching at the time because no one I knew did that).

Then I went to college and had to do presentations for classes. My mom advised me to pretend like I was playing a character - like I did during the theater productions (because I was a good actor). So I did. And soon, the acting bled out into the rest of my life.

I did it to make friends. I did it to get jobs. I did it with my family so I could finally feel included.

Since college, I’ve had the chance to start over three times. And each time, though I told myself this would be the time where I would let myself be myself, I kept falling back into the Act. 

All smiles, all politeness, all the time.

And it is exhausting. 

Even though I now work in a fairly low key environment, where I don’t have to interact with a lot of people, I always keep the Act up, I’ve always got the Mask On. Because I constantly have to be on guard.

Now I think the Masking is finally getting to me.

Several times during the first few months of my new job, there were very stressful and sometimes volatile meetings I had to attend. And while I was able to hold it together during those meetings, the stress would build up and I would have meltdowns at the office (once to the point where I locked myself in a bathroom stall for twenty minutes because I couldn’t stop crying).

When we were all sent home for 18 months, it was such a relief. For the most part. The constant Zoom meetings tired me out so easily, even when I had the luxury of turning off my camera (which was a huge help).

I actually didn’t learn about the term Masking until about a month ago. I can’t remember how I came across it, but I remember when I did, I felt something click in place. I realized that’s what I had been doing this whole time. And then I realized that since that is what I had been doing, I actually had no idea how I would actually react to anything. Because of the constant masking, I had lost my Sense of Self.

Sure, I know what I like and what I don’t like (if presented with options and choices). But it’s hard for me to know if I’m laughing at something someone said because I actually thought it was funny, or if that’s just the Mask. I don’t know if I’m actually sad when someone tells me about a tragedy in their lives, or if I’ve been trained so well on how to react. I don’t have solid opinions because I tend to side with whoever I’m talking with.

And if I don’t know how I’d react to any given emotional situation, how do I know who I am?

Worse, how do I know if people like me for me, or the Mask? And does that mean I will never be liked and loved for who I really am?

[critical-derolo]

"I was pretty," Laudna says.

On account of her being beautiful and all right now, it catches Imogen's attention. Fearne and Ashton keep on walking, they don't quite catch the soft lilting voice of their friend. Too busy interacting with the market - touching the vibrantly colourful fabrics that shopkeepers billow out their way, fishing for a sell. They talk to people, asking names, asking about the history of this family or that family, where an antique originated from. They're... there, present. Pain free. Enjoying the busy square.

Imogen's shoulders only relax once she hears the soft edges of Laudna's voice, and she's more than happy to step off to the side and join the woman. It's only then that she notices the grooves in the stall's wood where Laudna's dark, sharp nails have dug in. Or the unnaturally still way she stands, her head cocked to the side in such a way that it looks like it should be painful.

No, there's something quiet about Laudna that is... off. Out of the norm - more so than her own. Hm. Quirks? Either way, Imogen can feel that something is wrong. It’s not even really a choice to reach out with her mind, not when it comes to Laudna. It’s second nature, at this point, just another point of connection between the two.

And she’s right - about the quiet thing. Laudna, as Imogen has come to understand after a couple years, has three settings. Generally speaking, of course. The first is her near constant: a melodic type of kindness that is intoxicating and relieving all at once. Compassion reverberates within the woman and Imogen can hear it singing inside her.

The second is manic. Frankly, and with all the love in the world, Laudna tends to spiral. A chaotic whirl of energy that has a habit of turning on a dime and shooting off in unpredictable directions. Imogen can always tell it’s coming, she spots the warning signs and knows how to disarm her friend again. Calm her down. So whenever Laudna starts touching her face too much, or pull at her hair, or a laugh gets just a little too long, a little too close to a menacing cackle? Well, it’s easy enough to mentally whisper sweet, reassuring words to the lady.

There’s only one setting that Imogen can’t seem to reach Laudna in, and that’s the quiet one. Even the woman’s mind goes dark and still. A distinct lack of noise that nobody, nobody ever has...

No one but the dead, that is. 

And though she’s standing literally side by side with Laudna, there may as well be six feet of earth between the two of them. That eerie silence is like an ominous bubble of a grave around her. No matter how hard Imogen digs through the dirt, she can’t reach her friend. She has to wait for Laudna to come back to her.

“I think you’re pretty,” she says patiently.

Light reflects off of Laudna’s dark eyes and it’s just another layer between them, just one more thing keeping Imogen from reading her. Her fingernails pry out of the grooves in the wood to instead tap rhythmically against the side of the stall as she gazes into the small park. Laughter from the playing children echoes back to the two of them, and she doesn’t blink. “Children used to laugh at me,” she drawls softly. “I didn’t like it at the time. Now I think I much prefer it to the terror on their faces. Nobody used to run.”

“Not everyone runs, Laudna. I didn’t. Orym didn’t-”

“Orym squirms when I speak to him.”

“Orym would take a sword for you,” Imogen insists. Careful to keep her voice just as soft as Laudna’s, gentle and kind. This woman deserves all of her kindness. “I wouldn’t change anything about you, to hell with everyone else.”

It gets a reaction - finally. Laudna’s dark eyes flutter and she turns her head to look at Imogen, relieving the awkwardly bent angle in her neck. “Wouldn’t you?” she questions curiously.

Imogen stares right back at her. Her own soft hands take Laudna’s, not cold but they lack heat, it’s noticeable, and she presses them against her freckled cheeks. “No.”

“Oh, Imogen,” Laudna sighs fondly and. And the sorcerer can hear it. Muffled, like it’s building up louder and louder, until she can hear the music through the grave. A lilting inner voice that’s bashful, that’s shaking off the dirt to come dancing in the storm. “You don’t know what I looked like before.”

It’s hard to picture what Laudna looked like when she was alive. Not impossible, mind you, it’s not like she has a new face, but it’s weird trying to picture it full of life and vitality. What colour her lips once were, if her eyes were always dark, what would she look like if she could blush? 

But this?

This woman standing here, awkward and hopeful all at once? The ghoulish witch that children run from, that has grown men swallowing their own hearts, and people calling the nightmare queen? “Shine or grime, Laudna,” Imogen hums sweetly. “I can see you just fine. You’re beautiful.”

Their fingers lace and with one last smile that cracks just a little too wide and spooks the shopkeeper, Laudna pulls Imogen along with her to catch up with the others. 

[xcrystalzero]

love languages

Characters Included: Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli

Kaeya:

Giving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

-Have you heard this man's voice-lines? The dude is the literal definition of a sweet-talker.

-Will constantly be telling you how good you look in that new outfit or how well-spoken you just were or how good you are at everything your do.

-Also kind of handsy??

-Not like in an obnoxious way (well at least not all the time). Loves to have a hand around your waist when you guys are just talking at the tavern or taking a walk around Mondstat.

-Will 100% grab your ass out of nowhere and then pretend like nothing happened.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Quality Time

- On the other hand, if you grab his ass, he may pass away on the spot.

-Absolutely loves it when you initiate physical contact, especially in public. Will tease you every single time about it but loves seeing this "bold" side of you.

"Oh? Someone's a little needy today." Kaeya cooed as he turned to glance over his shoulder at the way you were currently clinging to his back. You pouted up at him, making a show of slowly pulling away.

"You don't like it? I guess I'll just need to go find someone else to hug... You think Diluc is at the tavern?" You had taken a single step away when a pair of arms wound their way around your waist.

"Hey now..." There's a bit of a warning in his voice but it's nothing harsh. His breath hits your skin as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "I never said that."

-Has a pretty packed schedule as a captain so he doesn't have much free time to spend just chilling. So when you take time out of your equally busy schedule specifically to spend with him, he gets all warm and tingly inside.

-Especially loves it when you do the planning since again, he's a busy man. If you show up at the Knight's headquarters and are just like "get in loser, we're going on a date" he'll probably fall in love all over again.

Diluc:

Giving: Gift Giving, Acts of Service

-Mans is the second-richest person in all of Tevat. If even bring up a slight interest in something, expect it to show up at your doorstep the next day, perfectly gift-wrapped.

-Will shrug it off when you confront him about it, wondering why you're making a big deal out of something so trivial.

"Diluc why is there an army of stuffed animals on my porch?" You aren't sure what your eyes are supposed to be. The fiery-haired man before you or the 50 fluffy creatures arranged in perfectly packaged boxes sitting on the ground in front of you.

"The other day, you said you thought they were cute" Diluc shrugs as he weaves his way through the maze of little creatures to stand by your side.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU BUY THEM ALL!"

-Also likes to make things easier for you whenever he can.

-He's always offering to call you a carriage so you don't have to walk places, or make sure that all of the errands are done before you get a chance to get to them.

-He just wants to reduce any stress in your life and it's cute.

Receiving: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation

-Touch-starved motherfucker.

-Somewhat shy when it comes to PDA and just general affection but over time, he gets used to it and starts to crave it.

-Will never ask you for affection directly but will definitely hint at it. He'll let his hand rest gently on your shoulder for just a little bit too long, or linger after he's already said goodnight, and that's how you know that he wants some love and affection.

-Really likes when you run your hands through his hair. There's just something so soothing about it, especially since he hasn't allowed someone to be that comfortable with him in a while. May just fall asleep in your arms if you keep doing it.

-In the same way, he likes to hear praises. He's not a man who needs to be told by others that he's doing the right thing or that he's doing a good job, but it does kind of feel nice when you're the one saying those things to him.

Xiao:

Giving: Acts of Service, Gift Giving

-He feels like he has nothing of his own to give so he tries to make himself useful in the only way he knows how.

-You mentioned that there's this commission you took that's harder than you expected and has had you busy for the past few days? Oh look at that, somehow the issue is solved. The Treasure Hoarders seem to be creeping too close to the trading ports for comfort. Not anymore they're not.

-Gets borderline creepy at some points where he seems to know every little thing you're struggling with and be able to solve all your problems immediately but are you really going to complain?

-Will constantly bring you food or little things that he saw that reminded him of you.

"Here, take this."

You glance puzzled at the hand the adeptus has outstretched to you. Gently, you reach out and take whatever it is he is offering you, bringing it up to your face to observe. A soft chuckle leaves your lips. In your hands is a tiny butterfly seemingly constructed of folded and interlocking leaf strips.

"Aww Xiao, did you make this for me?"

"I... I just happened to have it," he stutters out, looking anywhere except at you. That does nothing but coax another soft laugh out of you as you gently lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you, I'll take good care of it."

"... you better."

Receiving: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

- Normally, he thinks the sweet-talking of mortals is just another form of manipulation. That being said, when he hears any of those sugared phrases coming from you, his heart skips a beat.

-The first few times you complemented him, he literally had to stop and process for a second because wow. That felt great.

"Mortals are so incapable," Xiao mutters as he brushes slime condensate off of his sleeve. You sheath your sword before turning back to him, a grin on your face.

"Well anyone would be compared to you. You're really amazing you know!"

He froze. They were just words and nothing he hadn't heard before from workers at the inn or humans in the past, so why was his heart beating to fast?

"Xiao?" You questioned, catching up to him and waving a hand slowly in front of his face.

Coming back to his senses, Xiao huffed, turning his head to the side to hide the red creeping onto his cheeks. "Shut up..."

-Surprisingly enough, also really really likes when you touch him. Of course, always ask first or he might just straight up deck you on sheer instinct.

-But as he gets more and more comfortable around you, he grows to love the way you will absentmindedly grab his hand whenever you want to show him something or the way you like to brush his hair gently out of his eyes when the wind picks up.

-His ears turn red whenever you touch him, no matter how innocent the touch and he will get flustered if you ever decide to tease him about it.

Zhongli:

Giving: Gift Giving, Quality Time

- For a broke bitch, he sure loves to spoil you. Will always bring you to upscale restaurants to try the most expensive dishes or take you out to the stalls to look at exquisite jewelry.

"Which one should I get?"

"Why not both?"

"And who is going to pay for that?"

"That... I did not consider."

- Likes to be around you whenever he can. He's not the busiest person now that he's basically given up the job he had for so long (spoilers???) so he has more time to spend with you.

-If you don't mind, he likes to just be around you throughout the day as you do your own thing, just enjoying being in your company.

Receiving: Quality Time

-The dude has been alive for so long, he just wants to spend some of that time with someone else.

-His favorite thing is just to wander around Liyue Harbor with you, pointing out historical landmarks or just rambling around the history of the land. Loves it when you ask him questions about things or just generally express interest in the things he is talking about.

"That section of the harbor actually used to be a theater."

"Like for plays?"

"Yes actually. However, it was demolished as a sign of the end of the cultural revolution as the city turned to trade as its primary focus."

"Oh yeah you were telling me about that yesterday!" You remark excitedly, gaze drifting around as though you are attempting to imagine the world Zhongli describes. But he is only looking at you, a warm smile spreading slowly over his face.

There is no shortage of people in Liyue Harbor to listen to his stories but only your commit them to memory almost immediately, constantly asking him questions and wanting to learn more about his world. And just for that, he thinks he may fall even deeper in love with you.

note: let me know if you guys like this and i'll do a part two with some of the characters i missed!

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[aerimomo-mellon]

Skz as Boyfriends!

Paring~ SKZ x Reader

Genre~ informative lol

A/N~ yep it was requested! Enjoy 친구 <3

warnings? none. (idk mention of bed related things haha)

SKZ M☁List II Main M☁List

시장……..

✿ Bangchan

We all know this guy and you all have read enough of him I think, to know what imma say. (But for special purposes why not..)

This guy is really really serious about relationships and you are probably the one because he just can’t help loving everything about you.

The fact that he is yours even with all the responsibilities and work he has as a leader and idol is a miracle itself. Therefore consider yourself LUCKY to have the most caring and loving man anyone could have.

Dates- He likes movies hence movie nights and date to the theater are often. If not then he likes taking you to a sports event or the beach cause yeah. ( that vibesssssss you know? )

PDA = 3/10 why?, because as mentioned earlier he is responsible for many important things and he doesn’t want to have any misunderstandings about you and dislikes hate in general. That 30% I gave him was because he would only do PDA if really needed.

In Bed things? Umm not often actually but once in a while yes WHILE he would like it I’m sorry I mean LOVE it..

Con? Yep time! Sorry girl but that time you need, it’s hard for him to fulfill every time.

Cute extra info- Doesn’t mention it but secretly likes when you poke his dimple and say he’s cute.

✿ Minho

There are these majority conceptions, as I said majority but not all cause there are stays who know that he is a sweet guy deep deep down.😉

If you’re his s/o he will give every bit of him to you and expects the same for you. I would categorize him as a boyfriend wo acts like a mom lol. It maybe hard to digest that information but trust me this feeling I have from my gut I can say that he is also very caring. Although he might not say things like I will be there whenever you need me or even I miss you, care for you, but he doesn't need to say this anyway. As action speak more than words our Minho is the same.

Dates- He likes to balance it between what you like and what he likes as well. If you are a new couple he straight up asks what you prefer. Plus point he likes to take you to cat café if you like cats too.

PDA = 0.5/10 why? honestly speaking this guy literally hates to express his feelings. That .5 is literally him agreeing that he is yours and that's it. (when someone asks that is)

In Bed things? I personally think it depends on his mood and not yours. Yup. Somedays he wants you a lot and somedays he likes his space. I'm not saying he hates cuddling but more than that on days he is either tired or stressed he likes to keep that little limit to what happens next.

Con? Attention... you would literally take his cats away from him to get his attention.

Cute extra info- likes it when you call him and yourself Appa and Eomma to his cats.

✿ Changbin

Changbin being the puff/ strong guy(sorry that sounded disturbed lol) We all know how babied he likes to be.

Him as a boyfriend is just very natural, I mean from the way he takes you on a fancy date to even putting nail polish on your left hands. Everything is very genuine and he loves it. The Boyfriend to always apologize first.

I find him as someone to take attraction and the next step which is relationship very seriously. ( the person to be very calculative, it can beat Chan honestly..)Knowing that he is afraid to hurt people in any kind of way, to hurt you even as an accident breaks his heart.

Dates- Our Dwaekki loves taking you on dates with loads of food or snacks. A typical Korean restaurant or even food stalls, he loves seeing you eat than to be broken when you might have some kind of sickness due to eating problems.

PDA = 5/10 why? Because he likes your opinion. He is okay with either if you insist on a particular one but slightly leans on less public knowing. Holding hands and probably hugging you wouldn't be a huge problem for him.

In Bed things? he loves it anytime honestly... if he is horney he is getting what he wants and when you are same goes to you.. you'll get what you want..

Cons? Too much aegyo which makes you do things you don’t necessarily want to. (Stay blessed)

Cute extra info- Praise him! (x100) loves it when you say things like " my boyfriend is so strong.." or even " those arms mmm..."

✿ Hyunjin

I mean do I need to say how into he is with this??? Damn this man is the most prepared man a girl could have. The type to know everything about relationships... from trending couple fashion to even special not important but cute couple events..( that he probably found randomly scrolling through google)

He knows your anniversary, birthday, your moms birthday, dads and basically your whole family knows him too. He also keeps track of your monthly cycle too cause he likes being responsible for you..

He is the type to get jealous very easily BUT wont admit it when you ask. Likes to braid your hair while learning from YouTube.. Likes to buy you so many colorful cute hair accessories. (loves your hair..)

Dates- we all know this guy is fancy so he likes fancy dates but he can also be the complete opposite.. Fancy~ maybe to a art restaurant or even on a fancy boat cause why not.. Normally though~ likes to take you to an art museum or at night to take you on the roof for star gazing..

PDA = 2/10 why? I've probably given hints on my fictions with Hyunjin about this in particular. He prefers keeping this in private and that 20% is with his members (barely)

In Bed things? This guy couldn’t be more romantic lol. Loves being prepared for this buys every thing you both need… and yeah loves it.

Cons? He buys Kammi more hair clips than you sorry….

Cute extra info- likes when you get mad when he cut his hair lol. I apologize to all the stays I know he is cute every time but that long hair just hits different….

✿ Jisung

The craziest boyfriend you could have and will only have. You would low key love your relationship with this man I’m telling ya…

You two would have so much fun like toddlers. He is honestly the cutest, funniest, talented etc.. man you get all in one.. ahaha..

Likes to buy you the most stupid things that actually works for a daily living..( that thing he bought to watch on his phone while laying down 😵)

likes to joke around and talk to you a lot.. gurll listen to him he loves it. He likes to value your problems as well so listens to you too.

Dates- likes to watch anime so you two usually have this anime night cuddle sessions but if he were to plan something outside he would prefer to take you to the amusement part lol.

PDA = 8/10 why? honestly he likes showing you off cause he is fond of you. Basically doesn't care what others think... his parents know you, members, friends outside the group, and stays know you exist lol.. 20% i kept for a reason because he doesn't like it when things get out of handle so he wont do anything to the extent..

In bed things? yes he likes it but that turns up into a tickle fight or even a complete cringe but cute moment..

Cons? He might be very sensitive leading to him being upset and you having to apologize...

Cute extra info- loves it when you kiss his cheeks or just play with them in general..

✿ Felix

I had to bring this up at some point lol.. stays probably know the video where he says his clothes are boyfriend material lol...and yes i agree hands down!

A boyfriend material in his own way ahaha.. i mean we all know he loves to be cared for and loved. That Bangchan! spoiled little youngbok.. i personally feel or think two ways. Either he likes being cared for by you or he takes care for you since now he gets to be the older one..

Felix likes speaking in English so if you know English he would speak both languages as well. Likes to give you blowjobs cause he fell in love with you lol..

Dates- Shopping malls, window shopping, UNO on a picnic lol all these are his favs and so are yours .. Personally speaking he likes to take you to places where he can take lots of pictures of you..

PDA = 4/10 why? I don't know haha yup its just a feeling where I'm in between of two opposite thoughts.. I fell like he shows you to his members and family but not more than that.. (Olivia is most likely to love you)

In bed things? Likes being pampered and loves it when you lead.. happens pretty often actually..

Cons? yes! he like being touchy and so do you but he does it too much which beats ya.. and jealous really easily! and he lets you know that..

cute extra info- compliment him on his freckles and he will blush literally a tomato 🍅..

✿ Seungmin

Sweet really sweet.. he is the typical Korean boyfriend you'll get haha even better than that.

He just likes to talk to you or even look at you all day and keep that puppy smile on him.. The type to sing you a song to sleep or whenever you ask him to. likes to hear you sing too.. attempts to make you laugh but ends up, giving up.

He likes kissing your eyes when they are closed.. or when you just fell asleep after the song likes to give your eyes quick pecks..

Dates- He likes walks and that's why you go on evening walks and return when it's dark.. likes holding your hands. He likes grocery shopping with you, takes you to the rooftop to talk about life and its shitty problems.. Basically effortless things that make your relationship happy for what it is.

PDA = 1/10 why? I mean do I need to tell you this? he is like Minho but just a little bit more obvious.. Prefers to express his love when you two are alone..(that's it)

In bed things? umm yes but no.. i mean he gives in to your begs but I feel like Seungmin is just too into cute cuddling and these things are only when he is very desperate ..

Cons? not much but maybe ignoring you when you ask if he can buy you ice Cream for the fifty-sixth time..(but gives in anyway)

Cute extra info- He likes when he sees you in his clothes.. but doesn't say it and acts like he doesn't..

✿ Jeongin

Baby, baby, Baby..... he is our baby boyyyy but his savage ass towards his Hyungs just breaks it all hahaha…

Jk he is actually really cute, caring, sweet and likes to be protective. It may not suit him but yes he likes scolding people if done wrong to you..

You might be older or younger honestly he doesn’t care.. he is very respectful to you either way. He loves you and is very shy too which you find cute.

Dates- Asks you for your opinion or his Hyungs. He still is very inexperienced so he doesn’t know but sometimes likes it when you two spend time on the swings of some random park with fruit juice 🧃..

PDA = 0/10 why? Cause no no no no not even to his members haha he is just too shy and likes to keep his relationship in its own boundaries.

In bed things? Nope please! I’m sorry stays but I just can’t with Jeongin… (no further details he is just so precious to me)

Cons? He understands very late.. like you trying to say you want to cuddle, kiss etc.. without words he won’t get it. Just fucking be straight forward with our baby.

Cute extra info- honestly everything is cute about him so I can’t fit it here sorry… stays use your imagination here…

끝…

[commander-kirschtein]

attack on titan love language headcanons

what their love languages would be (includes eren, mikasa, armin, jean, marco, sasha, connie, bertholdt, reiner & annie) - mac

masterlist

eren jaeger: 

physical touch - eren would be pretty needy towards his partner. when training’s been tough or work in a modern au and he’s not got the energy for a conversation, he’d love nothing more than for his partner to hold him, softly running their hands through his hair and kissing his forehead. he’s quite greedy when it comes to physical affection and would often be on the receiving end. just before an expedition he’d find you just to wrap his arms around you and hold you close for a moment. he wouldn’t say anything but the look in his eyes is enough to tell you how much he cares and that this won’t be the last time you see each other.

mikasa ackerman:

receiving gifts - we all know how much she treasures her scarf from eren. she would love to receive gifts from her partner and they don’t have to be anything in particular or expensive. it could literally be a shell from the beach or a cheap bracelet you bought from a market stall and she would treasure it forever. the reason she loves these little trinkets so much is because it gives her something to ground herself when you aren’t around. she would cry if you hand wrote her a love letter and would keep it in her bedside draw to read it when she needs comforting.

armin arlert:

quality time - armin doesn’t mind what you do together but the fact you’re together is important to him. in canon, getting time together alone when fighting for the scouts is pretty hard to come by so he’d treasure it dearly and in a modern au i imagine he’d have a pretty busy schedule so he’s really appreciative if you could accommodate your time to meet his needs and he’d do the same for you. with how you spend your time together, reading together is a pretty obvious one! but armin in a modern au would love to put on an audiobook or podcast that you could listen to whilst cuddling. he also likes just going for a walk and holding hands whilst chatting about everything under the sun as you take in the scenery around you.

jean kirschtein:

physical touch (with a sprinkle of words of affirmation) - jean on the outside would deny it but on the inside he realises how needy and desperate he is to be close with his partner. in private, he’d be all over his partner. constantly pulling you close for a kiss, wrapping an arm around you, sitting on his lap - anything to satiate the need to be physically close to you. around others though jean doesn’t like to show too much pda, which is where words of affirmation comes in. if you’re with friends, he’d love nothing more for you to hype him up and laugh at all his jokes.

marco bodt:

quality time (with a little bit of words of affirmation) - i think marco would be super accommodating to whatever your love language is but his own personal one is quality time. he’s a pretty adaptable person so if your love language was something different he’d incorporate it into his. marco wants nothing more than for you to be happy and he thinks spending dedicated time together a great way of doing that. because of this, marco might come across as a bit clingy but he’ll definitely recognise you need time apart every now and again. i think words of affirmation is also a big thing for marco, not so much for himself but towards others as he’s so enamoured with his lover that he can’t fight the urge to just tell them everything he loves about them.

sasha braus:

receiving gifts - as we know, sasha’s got a pretty big appetite so without a doubt if her partner shared their food it would mean a lot to her. but in general sasha would be grateful for anything her partner shared or gifted to her. growing up in a place where things like food was scarce means she values the act of sharing and giving more than many others would. in a modern au, spoiling sasha with a takeout would make her incredibly happy, as would spoiling her in general. sasha would most definitely return the favour and take you out shopping so she could spoil you back.

connie springer:

acts of service - connie is a very caring person of both his friends and family and the fact he’s always trying to lighten the mood just shows how he always wants to make people happy. therefore i think deep down he’s very domestic and would love a partner who would do the little things to show they care and make his life easier. Helping him put his odm gear and straps, noticing the buttons on his shirt are done up wrong and correcting them, wiping the crumbs off the side of his mouth after dinner - the fact you notice these things makes connie realise how much you care even if you don’t give it a second thought.

bertholdt hoover:

physical touch (and also quality time) - before getting together, bertholdt wouldn’t dare enter your personal space because he wants to respect your boundaries as much as possible, but when he’s allowed to enter that space he’s completely infatuated with being able to touch and hold you. loves to hold your hand in his to the point you’re pretty much attached whenever you’re together - he gets in his own head a lot so your hand grounds him back in to reality whenever you give him a quick squeeze when you notice he’s drifted off. it’s also important to him that you’re both able to dedicate some time alone together without your friends (cough cough reiner) so you can be more physical with each other if you know what i mean.

reiner braun:

words of affirmation - reiner can be very insecure behind the tough exterior and would want to get vocal reassurance from his partner to sooth those insecurities. most of the time he’s worrying that he’s not good enough for you but hold his face in your hands, look into his eyes and tell him ‘you mean everything to me and i wouldn’t change you for the world,’ and just like that he starts to feel better. if you left him little notes telling him you love him or that you believe in him, his heart might just explode.

annie leonhardt:

acts of service - annie isn’t a very physical person nor very talkative, which is why she expresses herself through acts of services and likes for her partner to do the same. if her partner was to help with her chores/in a modern au make her a drink whilst studying or tidy up after she left for work in a rush she would be super appreciative. the fact her partner doesn’t have to do it but does anyway, proves to her that they care about her.

[bokubonk]

it can’t just be love

content: so much fluff, just fluff, soft Ushijima, carnival date

characters: Ushijima x gn!reader

date: 2/17/21

word count: 1.2k+

notes: Ushijima is so cute my heart is melting!!! I adore him in this which reminds me of how I need to start writing more fluff but my drafts are literally all angst fics and hurt/comfort fics. Anyway please enjoy my offering :))) thank you once again for 100 followers! I love you all

Ushijima was confused.

He didn't quite understand what he was feeling. He didn't understand the warmth in his chest or the sudden urge he got to smile every time he looked at you.

But what he did know was that he didn't really want it to stop.

He was always one for patterns, not wanting to mess up his schedule but you stumbled into his life and he found he discovered colors he never even knew about. You were a variable he never expected but instead of feeling regret for meeting you, he now felt something he couldn't quite name.

He was sure it couldn't just be the four-letter word all his teammates threw at him, teasing him for his new-found emotions. It couldn't just be love because it was more.

He knew it was more. He knew it in the way his heart would stop every time you looked his way. He knew it in the anger and desperation that would overcome him whenever you cried, not sure of how to comfort you and make it better. He just wanted you to be okay and look at him with that smile he adored so much.

Which brought you to your current situation, you were on your first date with Ushijima and you had decided on a carnival. You were looking forward to this for weeks after spotting an advertisement and when you brought it up to him, you expected him to shoot you down. But to your surprise, he only gave you a soft smile and a kiss to your forehead, promising to pick you up.

Ushijima ended up being an hour late after helping one of your elderly neighbors bring her groceries home. You only laughed when he told you about it with an apologetic look on his face and flowers in his hand. After all, Ushijima was one of the most caring people you ever met and you couldn't blame him for being late because you would've done the same thing in his position.

You grabbed the flowers and gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you. You placed them in a vase and bid your parents good-bye before leaving the house, walking with your hands intertwined.

The carnival was as busy as you expected and you were unsure how your boyfriend felt about the crowd but when you looked up at him he was glancing around indifferently but you did feel his grip on your hand tighten and you bit back your smile.

Ushijima wasn't bothered by the large amount of people surrounding the two of you, he was more worried that you would somehow be separated from him and the thought didn't sit well in his mind. He towered over everyone else and his eyes easily found a less crowded area.

He gently tugged you along, aware of your height difference and the fact that you would have a hard time keeping up with his fast pace. You glanced up at him to try and figure out where he was taking the two of you, “Where are we going, Wakatoshi?”

“Do not worry,” he gave you a pat on the head and continued tugging you along, “Just stay close to me.”

When you finally arrived you found yourself staring at a cotton candy stall and your eyes immediately brightened. He softened, watching you get excited over what he knew was one of your favorite desserts.

Before you could even get the words out to ask him if he wanted any, he had already taken out his wallet and ordered some for you. 

“Wakatoshi,” you pouted, “I feel bad.”

He glanced at you and handed you the cotton candy and some napkins. 

“Why?”

“I don’t want to spend your money. You should spend it on yourself,” you replied, plucking some cotton candy from the stick and shoving it into your mouth, letting it melt on your tongue. “I promise I’ll pay you back later so just let me know if there’s anything you want.”

He only nodded in response, fully aware that you wouldn’t be spending anything in your wallet. He knew he wasn’t really one to show his emotions all that much and he wanted to use today to show you how much he cared. After all, you were his for the day and he wanted to treat you well.

You glanced up at him and saw him staring at you as you ate. Flushing sightly from his intense gaze, you offered him a piece of cotton candy and he bent down to take it from your hand with his mouth. He lightly nipped at your fingertips and hummed in approval.

Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes widened. You turned your gaze away from his, embarrassed at how flustered you got from his actions.

In the midst of the busy carnival, your eyes caught on to a large stuffed bear and you immediately pulled Ushijima over to the stall. It was a basketball game but you were already preoccupied with the cotton candy in your hands so you looked up at your boyfriend with desperation shining clear in your eyes.

“You want the bear?” he asked, noticing the adorable way you were staring at the stuffed animal. He felt twinge of jealousy because he wanted your attention to be on him but he shoved the feeling away, knowing it was irrational to get jealous over something so idiotic.

He reminded himself that he was the one you loved and he would do anything to keep the smile on your face. You watched in anticipation as he made shot after shot with accuracy, his brows furrowed in concentration. Ushijima knew how badly you wanted that bear and he didn’t want to disappoint you. He also put in more effort because he wanted to show you how cool he was but that wasn’t the main point.

By the end of the game he had an almost perfect score and you were delighted once you received the bear. So much so that you stood on the tips of your toes and pressed your lips to your boyfriend’s.

His stoic expression changed slightly, his eyes widening in surprise but you were too engrossed in your new-found friend to add to your stuffed animal collection that you didn’t notice how much your actions affected him. 

Ushijima listened to you squeal about the bear, unable to grasp why you were so excited by such a silly object but he found that as long as you continued smiling, it didn’t matter what he would have to do to keep you happy. 

You could feel his stare on you and you glanced up at him. You felt a little guilty for hogging the bear all to yourself when your boyfriend was the one who won him. 

“Do you want to hold him?” you asked, extending the bear in his direction.

He shook his head, nudging the bear back so he was in your arms once again. “He’s yours. I won him for you.”

You smiled, shifting your grip on the bear so you were holding him under one arm and intertwining your free hand with your boyfriend’s. 

Ushijima felt a smile tug on his lips as well. He never imagined he could love anything more than volleyball but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you was more than enough to make him smile for the rest of the date.

[applejackofalltrades]

Why Do I Like AppleDash So Much?

Literally nobody has ever asked me this but I'm going to answer this question anyway.

Intro: How I Got Into My Little Pony

Imma be real. The reason I started watching the show is because some of my old Twitter mutuals were interacting with posts about the Friendship Is Magic 10th anniversary. Some of them were talking about Rarijack and how it was a good ship, and others were discussing the implied canonicity of Appledash.

I had, at the time, just finished catching up on The Owl House that had recently been in the process of finishing up season one or had just gone into hiatus (can't remember which) and I was losing interest in my old hyperfixations fast.

See, I do this thing where I get really REALLY invested in a show and then as soon as it ends or as soon as I absorb every bit of media in it, I lose some of the interest or it fades. I don't usually lose full interest. For example, I still love She-Ra (my last big fandom) and I'm obviously still invested in The Owl House, but ever since both of those shows ended/stalled, I was desperately needing something to distract me from the trials and tribulations of my will to live that my daily life often forced upon me.

As you can guess, ponies was my solution.

I went into the show with a Rarijack mindset, but knowing that Appledash existed. I guess my mutuals just really liked Rarijack. I decided to give season one a chance. Actually, I felt quite silly for even deciding to watch the show. You see, back in 2018, I was still quite... trivial about watching anything that was seen as "girly". I didn't really have any problems with watching cartoons (ie. V*ltron, Steven Universe, Avatar, Pokemon etc.) but it was the fact that a show was "girly" that made me iffy. I had a very fragile masculinity, okay?

Anyway, so I actually was really afraid to watch She-Ra, even though the teaser images and trailer looked good. But I did and I decided that even "girly" shows could be good and that I was silly.

But, oh boy, cringe culture really messed with me. In mid/late 2020, I was ashamed to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I said I'd watch one season just so I could laugh at it. I wanted to watch it as a joke, and who knows, maybe I found a guilty pleasure to watch while I waited for The Owl House to come back?

I loaded up Netflix and I hit play. Instantly, I was cringing at myself. Can you blame me? Early season MLP was obviously meant for kids. Not that it was immature or bad, but it was definitely a kid's show, especially considering the iconic storybook opening of episode one.

I watched the episodes, but they mostly were just background noise as I did other things. I remember watching them, but I was indifferent, although frustrated that I found myself chuckling at a few of the jokes and quips. I wasn't that invested, though. I thought Twilight was boring, Rarity obnoxious, Pinkie annoying, Fluttershy frustrating, and Rainbow Dash infuriating. I didn't really mind Applejack, I mostly kinda just thought she was the best one. (Nothing's changed, eh?)

And then....

Fall Weather Friends

Season One Episode Thirteen rolled around.

It starts (as y'all know) with Rainbow Dash and Applejack throwing horseshoes.

I don't know why, but this caught my attention. Of course, being only a few episodes after Look Before You Sleep, I had Rarijack on the mind. But I did think that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were probably good friends and would make for an interesting pairing, and a more interesting episode given their similarities, but also their differences.

I found myself fully watching this episode, and I dare say, it's the episode that dragged me fully into the show.

Maybe it's because I see myself in both of them in a way. Maybe that's why I connect so much with the pair, but them having an episode together? That was really good for me. I wasn't in the best state of mind, and something about seeing two characters that were in some ways reminiscent of myself interact and argue and have an endearing episode together made me smile.

It was then that I discovered the simple amazingness of AppleDash.

I mean, who doesn't love obnoxious, competitive girlfriends that are both prideful and headstrong?

I know I love it.

Anyway, so at that point, my mind kinda just clicked and I decided that my OTP was AppleDash. However, poly rights and Applejack has two front hooves *cough* Rarijackdash *cough*

But yeah so that's how I got into AppleDash. Fall Weather Friends, which was kinda the episode that made me love MLP.

How That Progressed

Well, obviously, I still love that ship I mean I live for it. If I could have any one single ship it'd be them. It just kept getting better and better as the show progressed, I mean their dynamic is great whether you want to see it platonically or romantically. They have a lot in common right off the bat (example, they are both incredibly stubborn, though AJ would take the cake for that) and seem to be close (I mean right from episode one they appear to already have a pre-established friendship), but they're also different. Applejack is a hard worker all of the time with anything she does, while Dash tends to be lazy but can be extremely driven when she is motivated (for example, when she wants to achieve her Wonderbolts dream). Applejack is immensely caring and family-oriented and does things for the good of everypony, while Rainbow Dash can be kind of a jerk and not mindful of her actions when she's wrapped up in the stuff she's doing for herself (not to say she isn't caring, but she tends to be kind of an ass, even to Fluttershy sometimes).

Their growth was immensely fun to watch and as time went on, they shared more and more screentime together. Even if it's not an episode that revolves around them, whenever one of them is in frame, most of the time the other is close by, and they often stand next to each other.

Now, in terms of why they work in the show's canon (in my opinion, either romantically or platonically, they do make a great pairing):

They are both competitive and enjoy competing with each other, though they know (especially after FWF when they've taken it too far)

They watch out for each other (AJ often holds Rainbow Dash back when she's about to rush into danger, especially in early seasons, and Dash always lifts AJ out of danger first [the two examples I can think of off the top of my head are in Best Gift Ever and My Little Pony: The Movie])

Their personalities even each other out. (AJ is a lot more calm than RD, and while they can both get worked up, Applejack is usually the calm one)

Their colour schemes are literally complementary. (AJ's coat is orange while Rainbow's is blue. AJ's eyes are green while RD's are pink/red).

They share a lot of cute moments. (You can just look these up)

THEY'RE HECCING CUTE.

AND FINALLY

I mean fuck, the finale. They're literally canon, you cannot tell me otherwise. It was absolutely intended and you cannot prove otherwise. (read the script notes l o l "we actually could do sort of a subtle wink to the idea that they are now a couple???" < RE Appledash). They live together, they have domestic arguments about chores, they are always giving each other fond looks throughout the episode, always standing next to or near each other, and well we all know Rainbow's iconic hoof on AJ's head in the last shot of the show.

Ashleigh Ball really was the OG shipper and fuck it, she was right. We all know they are in love, she knows they are in love. The only reason they couldn't explicitly state it in the show is probably bc Hasbro would have been against that at the time (I mean, Lyrabon had to be very subtle but hey we gottem).

Oh and, I know this isn't exactly canon canon, but it is an official game: The My Little Pony Magic Princess app. Future AJ and RD's descriptions allude to them being together.

You could negate this and say that this is just them being friends but I mean... come on. Come on. Sweet Apple Acres is Apple family land, and the only people who live there as of The Last Problem are Apples. (AJ, Sugar Belle and Big Mac and their foal, and you guessed it... Rainbow Dash).

You cannot tell me that they aren't canon. You'd really have to be grasping at straws because all the signs are there. They had build up, development, and it just makes sense.

If you don't think it makes sense... did we watch the same show??? It absolutely makes sense.

Anyway, AppleDash is canon. :)

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Lancaster Stuff from Motion Sickness

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I struggled to consider what I was doing right now my first date. Especially with the context that recollections of some of Pyrrha’s and I’s ‘outings’ provided.  

Fuck.

Not dwelling on that. 

By any other measure, a stroll through some town market with a guy and a girl who were now a thing was a date, right? Even though it was a patrol and we did basically the same thing yesterday, now it was different. Now we were ‘together.’

Ruby didn’t seem to mind at all, though, she flowed from place to place with her typical energy. It was as though she’d never been through these streets and past these stalls. She could just walk up to some person and talk to them. 

I… I really liked that about her.

Fuck.

She called me over from some RV that seemed to be a permanent feature in the square. Some short-term-long-term food-truck-restaurant? I wasn’t sure, but when she spun and called to me with a wave, I felt my jaw and was struck by the realization that I wasn’t sure just how long I’d been holding my teeth clenched together.

My face ached but she made me smile anyways as I paced over to her.

She smiled right up at me and I had to look away. I really wasn’t sure how I was even supposed to look at her. I almost meant that literally. Could I just, like, look at her now? Whenever I wanted?

I was trying not to be stressed about her of all things right now. Still, though…

“What’s up?”

“They’re moving people in from around the area.” She explained. I cocked my head. Beihfing and I had both been united about a panic. “They started a few weeks ago. I guess after the tower fell, a lot of people moved to bigger places, weird.”

Oh, maybe they hadn’t all died. Huh. “It's not that weird,” I disagreed, I eyed the woman Ruby had been talking to. She was twenty-five--thirty with blonde hair which made her stand out a little here, but her skin tone made her a match for some of the locals in terms of origin. “You had to run?”

“Well we couldn’t order dust or anything and it was pretty scary being mostly alone.” She shrugged, her casual ease with her emotions struck me. I was a total fucking stranger to her. Well, I was also a huntsman, so I didn’t analyze it and just nodded. “It was a good thing too, what with the other villages.”

I figured it was an open secret in GaiLong at this point, but I wasn’t sure. That kind of news would travel fast until everybody knew it at which point, why bother pretending? It was common knowledge.

“What’d you need.” I asked the two. 

It was Ruby who lured me in. “They wanted to pull the motor and alternator out of it and use it as a winch for other stuff. They’ve already pulled out all the bolts, but they don’t - well, if they already had a winch then they wouldn’t do this. 

“So?”

She rolled her eyes, “so nobody but you can lift it.”

The woman looked down at Ruby. “I’m telling you it weighs, like, four hundred pounds, easy.” I walked around and looked down into the hood. It was some dust-based thing with Atlas stamps, all smooth edges. It wasn’t designed to be repurposed. It was designed, perhaps, to not be able to be repurposed. Some technology was like that.

I reached down with one hand and, with a heave and a grunt, I lifted it and set it down. Ruby absolutely could have lifted it.

The woman blinked at me. “Oh uh.” Her eyes flicked to Ruby and back to me. “Could you set it over here? Then? If it’s not too much trouble?”

“Uh, no.” I returned.

She glanced at Ruby again. “No?”

“No, it’s not any trouble.” I clarified or tried to. “I didn’t mean… Not ‘no’…” I sighed. “Where do you want it?”

Ruby was laughing at me. I could see it as I passed her, following the woman to some cinder blocks. Our reward was something which I was assured was not ice-cream but was some kind of frozen custard-yogurt-stuff with sugar in it. 

To me it was good, for the time that I had it, that is. When we returned to the inn I still hadn’t showered after Ren and I trained that morning. Then I made the mistake of entrusting my teat to Ruby who had already nearly finished hers. 

When I got out of the shower there were only a few bites left of mine. “Ruby-“

“I left you some!” She pouted at me. I watched her take the last bite of hers from where she sat on her bed and set it daintily on the nightstand. Then she looked up and her smile never changed but she leaned forward onto her hands and stared at me.

I abruptly felt like covering myself, the towel and shorts I had on still showed off most of what I looked like. “Are you just going to stare at me?”

She blinked like I was alien. “Yeah.” Fair enough. I started putting on clothes anyways as she rolled around the bed. “I mean you stare at me, too, right.” I did. I had more than usual today, too, I didn’t want to hide what I felt from her. She continued, though. “I mean maybe not. Maybe, you like to look at girls like Sahov more?” 

“Who?” I wondered.

She tossed a pillow to my face. “The girl we were just talking to!” 

“Um…” I trailed off.

She slumped down into the covers. “Forget it.” 

“Ruby,” I started. I pulled a shirt over my head and began walking over to the bed. 

“I said forget it!”

I sat down. “Rubes you know you’re incredibly good looking right?”

“What?” She sat up from under the covers. “Yang’s the pretty one, I’m the cute one.”

“Ruby if I didn’t know you and you came up to me on the street and started talking to me, I would assume I was being pranked somehow.”

“Ugh.” She let me know her disgust, but she wasn’t under the covers anymore and she was giving me this much sort of… sly smile.

I’d never seen that one before and it wasn’t something I usually associated with her. She crawled onto my lap and turned to face me, burying herself in the crook of my neck. I hesitated for a moment but let my arms rest around her slightly. 

“You really don’t think I’m cute.” She blushed. “I mean…”

“Oh yeah I just can’t stand to look at you,” I kissed her. Her bottom lip fit between my two and my ego was fed when I felt her relax in my arms. I chuckled as I pulled away.

She hit me and she was as red as I’d ever seen her. “Butt.” 

When I started laughing, she shut me down by kissing me again. 

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-WG

[outivv]

SBCUVBHFD- So,,, The Boys' crush who just makes it their daily mission to tease the hell out them. Like constantly hugging them from behind, kissing their hand, telling them they look handsome, often kissing their ear from behind then running out, etc. They'll even say," Hurry up and kiss me you handsome bastard." They basically just have no shame when it comes to The Boys.

Synopsis: y/n constantly teasing the tall boys + Scaramouche (because I’m in that kinda mood today, ok? 🥲)

Warnings: I cure once in Dainsleifs part, also probably a lot of grammar, and spelling mistakes this is a long one and I didn’t proofread it :’)

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Characters: Diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, Dainsleif, and Scaramouche (I hope it was ok that I added Scaramouche!)

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello! Thank you for requesting! I’m extremely tired because I just got my first shot of the covid vaccine, but I was in a desperate need to write fluff, so fr thank you for requesting ☺️! I’ve got a slight Scaramouche brainrot right now, so I added him in the headcanons if that’s alright! But, aside from that I hope you enjoy, and remember to take care of yourself! Drink water, eat something if you haven’t yet, or take a nap!

— zhongli —

The first few times you go out of your way to tease zhongli, he’s definitely taken aback before saying something like, “ah... can I help you?” He genuinely thought that you may need something, but you only shook your head and hugged him. He wasn’t going to deny you of your wishes that’s for sure, so he wrapped his arms around you.

He’s definitely a bit flustered every time you tease him, but will try to stay composed. He’s never going to say no to you if you want a hug, or just some attention. While you’re not dating it’s definitely going to seem like you are.

He loves when you call him handsome. He can’t comprehend how much he loves it. He’ll typically smile, and say, “thank you Y/n you look beautiful/handsome/ amazing yourself.”

He really likes when you comment on his eyes. That is something that he loves. It’s difficult to explain my reasoning, but zhongli finds eyes attractive, like it’s something that he thinks is just really pretty on people. And I will frequently gaze at your eyes from afar. So when you compliment his eyes he gets super happy :)

Hates it when you run away from him after teasing him. He hates it but finds it cute at the same time. He thinks if you’re really that bold to tease him, why not stay for a bit? Surely you’re not shy? You just complimented his eyes, how could you run away from him?

When you say “kiss me you handsome bastard.” His reaction could go one of two ways. Either he’s like, “y/n! Eh hem... that... right.” While blushing profusely. Or he’ll smile a bit chuckling, and may even take you up on the opportunity. If all depends on when you say something like that. If he’s jut used to your teasing remarks then yeah he’s going to be shocked, but if he is used to it then he’ll slightly brush it off.

— childe —

Hmm... he views your teasing as a competition. But he loses every time. He’ll try his hardest, but you tease him a little bit too much and he will melt on the spot.

He’s a pretty touchy guy himself, so he doesn’t mind when you back hug him, but if he’s around some fellow harbingers he’s going to be a bit more... stiff? No... a better word is agitated. He needs to keep up a bit of an image around them, so he’s going to be pretty upset when you try to tease him.

I think he likes when you kiss his hands the most. He feels almost... sad though? His hands have dealt so much bloodshed, and you’re kissing them? Do you know what he’s done? Who he’s killed. Just so he can be alive... and in this moment with you. It makes him have a melancholy feeling, but he can’t get enough of it.

Childe craves for you to call him pretty, handsome, or just attractive. He actually likes being called pretty the most. It makes him so flustered because he’s like, “me? Pretty? ...really?” And when you nod and say, “yes you dork, I’m talking about you! You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever met.” In a teasing tone. He gets all giddy and happy. He feels like a twelve year old who’s crush just told him that they liked him. And he loves it.

Don’t even try to run away from him. He’ll catch up. And when he does. You won’t escape the cheesy pick up lines. He knows they’re cheesy, and that’s the whole point. He knows they’re stupid, and that’s why he saves them for this event specifically.

He chuckles when you say “kiss me you tall handsome bastard.” Really? You think he’s tall? Well that added a bit to his ego. He’s chuckling but he knows that he looks as red as a tomato right now. He knows how hard he’s blushing, but he doesn’t care.

— kaeya —

Also someone who views it as a competition. But he takes it seriously. He’ll get flustered a decent amount, but you have to do things very precisely. If he teases you first, then you gotta come back 10x stronger than he was. And he’ll be blushing while trying to brush it off as best as possible. He typically isn’t prepared for you to tease him back, so it’s an easy way to win.

Loves hugs. It’s so sweet and innocent, and it makes Kaeya all soft. It’s a small break from work, his past, the world, just everything. Your arms are his safe space, and he frequently visits.

I don’t care what you say he loves when you kiss bear his eyepatch. His right side is his blind spot, so you being on the right side of him means that he trusts you. So having you near his eyepatch really shows how much he trusts you. Plus whether you know what he’s hiding under that eyepatch or not doesn’t matter, it shows that you don’t care and still love him whenever you kiss near it.

I think he kinda likes being called handsome. Like... how do I explain without fueling this mans ego. He knows. Others have told him how handsome he is. Now calling him pretty, or gorgeous? Loves it. He hasn’t been told that he’s pretty very much, so it’ll make him a little flustered. And it makes him feel super happy :)

Doesn’t care if you run away from him. You can try of course, but he’ll find you eventually. He’s going to stall for time, because he probably knows where you are, but just wants you to get all anxious. Not in a bad way of course, but in a way of “you know that he’s going to tease you relentlessly, and make fun of you a little bit.” I mean Kaeya will literally laugh at how you ran away so quickly from him. He’ll do it. Don’t test him. He doesn’t mean any harm from it, but does like teasing you.

Saying something like “kiss me already you handsome bastard” will only make him raise an eyebrow and say, “oh? Why not kiss me yourself?” Which it’s up to you to decide what to do from here. I’m not helping you, that’s on you >:)

— Diluc —

Help this poor man. He just wants to admire you from afar and tell you how amazing you look, not being so flustered he feels too nervous to talk! Almost everything gets him flustered, but he’ll get used to it after a while.

He really likes when you quickly kiss his forehead, and then go back to what you were doing or just keep talking. It makes him think for a second, but he really likes it.

He really likes when you just grab onto his arm, or hand out of nowhere. He knows it’s to tease him, but feels like he’s protecting you in a way, especially if you’re in a crowd of people. He’ll feel a little bit of pride swell up in his chest, which it’s your choice to tease him for his sudden change in confidence or not. Either way he’ll have a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

He gets so flustered when you call him handsome. Especially if you call him pretty, or anything else. Handsome is the term he’s most familiar with I guess, but pretty??? Oh boy, that’s new. A good new? Yeah definitely.

When you run away from him he’ll be a little sad, but then realize he can just catch up to you. Which he will, but he doesn’t know what to do once he actually does. He’ll probably just stare at you, and say something like, “why’d you run away” while panting like a dog. Hey just because he can run fast doesn’t mean he didn’t work really hard to catch up to you. Especially if you ran a long ways, or if you can run fast.

When you say stuff like “kiss me already you handsome bastard” he’ll be decently flustered, but depending on where you are, he’ll either kiss you on the cheek, or say “later.” And then move on. He does keep his promise though.

— Dainsleif —

Help this poor man pt 2. He doesn’t know what to do, or how to react. Should he tease you back? Should he let himself be flustered? Dammit what should he do!

Dainsleifloves subtle touches, he loves when you hold onto his hand, or brush some hair out of his face. Maybe even a little peck on the cheek. He knows that isn’t really teasing but still!

Absolutely goes soft if you touch his right arm. Treating it with such care, even though to him it looks like an eyesore. He never thought about looking at it differently, the blue veins shimmering under your touch is a gentle reminder of how he’s here today.

He loves being called handsome, pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, just everything. He loves it all. He lowkey craves your attention, but doesn’t want to ask for it, so when you call him pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ etc it makes him feel supper soft and happy.

He didn’t understand why you run away from him. I mean you’ve gotta come back eventually, you left all your travel gear/stuff with him! And those are all important things might I add. Plus you left Dainsleif standing there by himself. Another important thing you forgot as you ran away.

Calling him a handsome bastard as is makes him flustered, but adding a ‘kiss me already’ before that?! Wow this man is just putty in your arms. Doesn’t know what to do other than... fill out your request. Don’t doubt him. He’ll do it.

— Scaramouche —

This man couldn’t give to flying f- oh what’s that? Giving him attention, and love that he really wants from you but flat out doesn’t know how to ask and didn’t want to seem weak? Yeah he’ll take that thank you. :D

He’s a bit all over the place when you tease him. He’s very conflicted. Because, home one side of him wants that attention, what if the other harbingers find out? What if you’re just messing with him? He’s gotta keep up an image you know.

While he’s very conflicted on how he feels about your affection, he does know one thing. He loves when you back hug him. Whether you’re taller than him, shorter, or same height, he loves it. If anyone who’s a lower rank than him tries to say anything, he’ll give them a death glare, and make a mental note for later.

He’ll subconsciously tear you a bit by wrapping a arm around you. It’s a weird way of saying “I’ve got a crush on them to if anyone says anything to hurt them, or if you try to hit on them I’ll personally murder you.” To other people without... saying that. Though he would say that, that’s not my point.

He has a weird relationship with being called pretty/handsome/etc. like it makes him feel happy and flusters him, but he’s also like “no I’m not. Me? Pretty? No. Flat out no.” He can’t just take the compliment.

Hahaha try to run away from him. I dare you. You brought this upon yourself when you said he had gorgeous eyes (he does but not the point!) so you better except your fate now. He’s either going to force you to say it again, or dare you to say it again.

Hated when you said “kiss me you handsome bastard” he hates it. But only because it made him want to kiss you more than he already did. So... that was mildly annoying to him, but it’s fine he lowkey loves you.

[chenziee]

Patience brings heart pendants

I’ve written so much gen this past month that I was having withdrawls so bad I actually wrote this whole thing in one sitting... I don’t remember the last time that happened.

Anyway. I love LawLu. Thank you for your attention.

----------

[Read on AO3 or below the cut]

It’s not fair, Luffy thinks as he watches Torao sleep on the deck of the Sunny, snuggled into Bepo’s soft fur and with Chopper sleeping on his lap. He looks so comfortable and so warm and Luffy is jealous of the man who can just sleep like that whenever he wants.

Of course, Luffy has Chopper all the time; the reindeer himself is incredibly soft and fluffy, but he’s just so… different from the polar bear. Chopper is like a warm stuffed animal to sleep with—or the fluffies giant cushion to get lost in while in Guard Point—whereas Bepo is a soft but firm pillow. A completely different thing, impossible to compare.

 And Law right now has both while Luffy has nothing. As if it isn’t enough that Law always hogs Bepo all for himself even when the Hearts are with the Sunny, not leaving Luffy or anyone else any room to make use of the bear’s white fur. Now he steals Chopper, too.

Let him say it again. It’s not fair.  

“You do know you can just ask if you can join them, right?” Nami asks, raising an eyebrow at Luffy.

“But Torao’s sleeping, I don’t wanna wake him up,” Luffy replies with a pout. He’s certainly not happy about it but he’s not mean enough to literally kick Law out of his ‘bed’ so he can take his place. It’s easy to see Torao needs as much sleep as he can get, what, with those bags under his eyes. It honestly worries Luffy. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Law sleep outside of his naps with Bepo.

Nami snorts. “Oh, I’m sure Torao won’t get mad if you wake him to nap with him.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Luffy asks, frowning at Nami. “And I just want to nap with the bear, not Torao.”

“Of course, how silly of me.” Nami nods solemnly even while she bites on her bottom lip in an obvious effort to not laugh before finally turning her attention back to the newspaper in her hands.

Luffy really doesn’t get her sometimes. She can be really smart but sometimes, she just makes assumptions like this and accuses Luffy of wanting or doing things he doesn’t. Or maybe misunderstanding him would be a better word.

Worst part is, she isn’t the only one who does that lately.

The entire crew made fun of him last week when he begged Sanji to make some rice balls. They said things like “Oh yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Torao,” and “He really misses him, doesn’t he?” But Luffy was just craving riceballs, he still doesn’t get what Torao had to do with it.

Or that one time at the summer fair at one of the islands they visited, the one where Robin found him standing idly by one of the stalls and looking at one of the displayed items.

“Do you want to buy it?” she asked him in her quiet, soft voice.

Luffy startled, not noticing her approach him. “Hey, Robin! You can’t just sneak up on people like that!”

Robin chuckled, shaking her head and simply pointing to one of the small silver pendants. “You like this one, right? Are you going to buy it?”

“I don’t know. It’s cute but…” he trailed of, finishing in long, thoughtful hum as he crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes, thinking hard.

Robin huffed in amusement as if she knew exactly what Luffy was thinking. Which just wasn’t possible; after all, Luffy himself had no idea what he was even trying to say there at the end. What was supposed to come after that but…?

 “Torao will love it,” Robin said after a moment with a fond smile on her lips.

Luffy blinked.

“What does Torao have to do with this?” he asked in disbelief.

He truly had no idea where Robin got that idea. Sure, the little ornamental heart reminded him of the surgeon, and maybe be briefly thought it would look really nice on Law’s neck but that really had nothing to do with this. Why should what Torao thought matter in his decision whether to buy the necklace or not?

“You want to give it to him, right?” Robin asked with a raised eyebrow.

When Luffy’s only answer was a blank stare, Robin started laughing, shaking her head again while she pulled out her wallet and walked over to the vendor, completing to purchase for Luffy before he could let out a single sound of protest. Then, she forced the tiny paper packet in Luffy’s hand.

The soft smile was back on her lips as she did so, her eyes warm when she opened her mouth to speak softly, “Don’t think too hard about it, just do whatever you want to do.”

Luffy could only nod and curl his fingers around the packet, clutching at it as if scared he was going to lose it. He didn’t understand what she meant back then. He still doesn’t, actually, but seeing Torao wear the necklace every day since he gave it to him feels… strangely right. Makes him happy for reasons he couldn’t see.

He decides not to dwell on that, however. Especially when a sigh escapes Law’s lips and he snuggles deeper into Bepo’s fur in his sleep and Luffy is once again reminded how jealous he’s feeling.

Torao just looks so comfortable and Luffy can do nothing but glare at him and wish he was in his place.

Silence hung around Luffy while he sulked quietly, interrupted only by the sound of Fraky’s hammer and Usopp and Penguin’s laughter from somewhere on the other side of the ship. But finally, after what felt like an eternity of simply staring at the surgeon’s face, he hears Nami groan in frustration.

Her newspaper rustles loudly, Luffy assumes from her closing it aggressively before she tosses it at the table beside her. Only a second later, she is standing next to Luffy, leaning against the railing he’s been perching on and looking at him as if she’s begging for something.

Begging, while looking extremely done at the same time.

Luffy would be absolutely terrified if it was just the latter; it’s the look she reserves for moments just before chewing him out for doing something ‘stupid’ or ‘reckless’. But with the former mixed in… it’s become something he’s never seen her wear before. He blinks, meeting her eyes, searching for an answer as to what it means.

He can tell she’s looking for the right words, so he waits patiently while Nami sorts out her thoughts. He sees the exact moment the two contrasting emotions finally came to an agreement and he sits up straighter, readying himself for whatever it was that his navigator is about to throw at him.

There are a few more seconds of silence before Nami finally speaks up, her words a lot calmer and nicer that he thought they would be, “Luffy, you don’t have to wake Torao up. Bepo is big enough for the both of you.”

A beat passes.

Then suddenly, Luffy’s eyes go wide and his mouth falls open. “Oh my god, you’re a genius, Nami!” he says as soon as it clicks, his face splitting in a wide grin. How has he not thought of that? They can share!  

Sure, Chopper is small in his tanuki form and can really only sleep on one lap at a time but the Bepo isn’t.  

He really is lucky to have smart people on his crew.

Immediately, Luffy lets himself fall off his perch, jumping down the two floor from the garden all the way to the main deck and landing easily on the soft grass. Smile still on his lips, he turns around to wave at Nami, calling his thanks up at his navigator who only waves him off. He thinks she’s also rolling her eyes but since there is a smile pulling on her lips all the same, Luffy decides that doesn’t matter in the least. After all, Nami pretends to roll her eyes at the crew all the time; pretending she’s not also having fun watching the others play.

But Luffy knows. He knows when she really is annoyed and when she’s just putting on a show.

And right now, she’s happy.

Luffy’s smile widens the smallest bit in turn before he spins on his heel to run over to where Tora— to where Bepo is napping.

----------

Back in the garden, Nami sighs at the sight of Luffy tiptoeing around Law to sit down and lean against Bepo’s free side—the side where Law isn’t sleeping with a suspicious amount of space next to him as if asking someone to join him.

But well, she’s sure in only a matter of minutes, Luffy will subconsciously shuffle himself over bit by bit until he fills the space Law’s left for him and they’ll end up in one big cuddle pile just like it was supposed to be right from the start.

Honestly, this idiot. Everytime Nami thinks he’s reached his peak, Luffy somehow manages to reach an entire new level of ‘oblivious’. It’s been getting completely, absolutely ridiculous. Law seriously has the patience of a saint, waiting for Luffy to figure this out all by himself—if it was Nami, she would either give up or just push Luffy against the wall at this point. Or maybe she’d simply lose her mind. The last one being the most probable outcome.

But Law always just smiles at Luffy in that way reserved only for Luffy and accepts whatever Luffy is able to give him at any time. Never pushing or trying to get Luffy to see what was going on between them. He’s letting Luffy go at his own pace and if Nami were to be honest, that was probably the whole reason the entire Straw Hat crew approved of Law’s feeling for their captain so easily. The surgeon simply accepts all that Luffy is, stupidity and recklessness and all. He understands that Luffy needs the time.

Which doesn’t mean it doesn’t get incredibly frustrating to watch, but it is pretty adorable. Well, she’s sure they’ll get there, eventually.

Smiling, Nami watches Luffy sluggishly remove himself from Bepo only to get on his knees to circle around the polar bear and back the way he came earlier, settling right next to Law instead.

Immediately, Law lifts his arm and wraps it around Luffy’s shoulders to pull him closer. Nami wonders for a second if he did it subconsciously, only sensing Luffy’s presence in a half-asleep haze, but then Law turns his head towards Luffy carefully as if not to startle him. He simply looks at the rubber ball for a moment until he finally presses a kiss to Luffy’s forehead.

And then, something unthinkable happens. Luffy lifts his head and smiles sleepily before he leans up and presses his lips against Law’s in a long, soft kiss. Law visibly freezes as if someone’s dumped a bucket of cold water over him but Luffy is obviously unbothered. He simply lets his head fall back down to Law’s shoulder with one of his hands going up to lace his fingers together with Law’s.

Well.

That is definitely a progress.

Nami stares with an open mouth at the scene before her for a full minute before her face splits in a wide grin and soon, her laughter is echoing around the deck, the sound light, amused, and happy. Happy for the two idiot captains who took way too long to get to this point.

They deserve this moment, as brief or as long as the sea allows it to be.

[xcrystalzero]

it's called a starconch

pairing: childe x gn!reader

summary: a seashell shouldn't hold as much meaning as childe lets it. and yet, he can't seem to let go.

note: i think i'm going through my angsty teenage stage as a literal adult.... also this shit long, good luck! also SPOILER WARNING HERE FOR THE LIYUE ARCHON QUEST DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED IT!!!!!!!

Childe had always loved the ocean. Coming from a little fishing village on the coast, the Snezhnayan ocean had always felt like home, but that wasn't the ocean he was talking about.

It was so warm here compared to his homeland, the coasts lined with fine golden sand that crumbled under his feet and shells of every color under the sun scattered about. One in particular caught his eye and Childe knelt down slowly to take it in his hand.

"It's called a Starconch!"

He nearly spun around in panic as the voice seemed to echo around him. He hadn't heard that voice in long enough that it almost sounded real, and yet, there was no way that could have been the case.

With a soft sigh, he turned his gaze back out towards the sea. Starconch...

~~~

Liyue was a country of colors. The moment he had first stepped off of the boat and into Liyue Harbor, he had been awed by the way that city seemed to shine. The warm light of a thousand lanterns hanging from every building he could see pushed back the darkness of night, bathing the place and the people in a golden glow.

And in that golden glow, he saw you.

"Welcome to Liyue Sir Tartaglia!" Your smile was warm like the city around you and yet, Childe sensed that it wasn't entirely genuine. "I am [name], a representative on behalf of the Liyue Qixing. It is an honor to have you in our harbor." Ah, that was why. Well, you were smart not to trust the Fatui who had just docked in the city you were meant to protect.

Well, two could play at that game. It took him but a moment to pull his usual grin to his face as he extended a hand. "Quite the warm welcome! Trust me, the honor is all mine."

He didn't miss the way the side of your mouth quirked slightly upwards at that as you regarded him with a somewhat bemused expression before returning the gesture.

"And please, call me Childe."

~~~

"Fancy seeing you here." Childe had been heading out on a request to monitor a Fatui base near the coast and had thought to grab some food for the road before he left when he saw your figure weaving between the various stands set up around Liuili Pavilion.

He wasn't sure how to feel about the way his heart seemed to jump at the sight of you though. It wasn't as though he didn't see you often. His position as a foreign diplomat and your role as a representative of the Qixing made it so that communication between you two was an all-too normal occurrence. Almost every day as luck would have it and yet, he wasn't sure if he would ever get bored of the prospect of running into you.

You turned to face him and Childe couldn't manage to hold back the laugh that erupted out of him. Your cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk, likely filled with a huge bite of the pastry you were currently cradling protectively in your hands as though you thought he was going to steal it from you.

Your cheeks went red as you threw a hand up in front of your face as you finished your bite before turning a glare back on him. "What..."

"Hungry?" He teased, stepping around you to scan the stand's wares as he pulled his wallet out.

"Shut it..." You muttered, promptly folding the wrapping of your pastry up over the top and slipping it into your pocket. "I thought you were Ganyu... She's always yelling at me not to eat so many sweets but they're just so good..."

Childe chuckled at that, earning him another sideways glare from your direction. "Ah, so is that your weakness then?" He plucked a handful of fruits from the stall as well as a pair of lemon tarts sitting in a small container to the side, offering the money for them to the stand owner as he stowed them in his knapsack.

"What do you need to know about my weaknesses Fatui?" Ah yes, there is was. The thing that had drawn Childe to you in the first place. The city of Liyue was warm and so were the people, but there were times when for you, that warmth rose into a heated blaze. You weren't afraid to challenge him, to dart across the line drawn by diplomacy and come just close enough that he was tempted to chase after you when you retreated.

There was a slight smirk on your face as you waited for his answer. He sighed, shrugging with a soft smile. "I mean, it can't hurt right?"

"You're insufferable." He might have been offended if you actually meant that. Thankfully, that smirk was still there so he had nothing to worry about.

"Say, I'm going out to the coast right now for some inspections. You think you can spare a moment to come with me?" The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Why me?" You questioned immediately, suspicion evident.

"U-Um... Well it'll be a little suspicious if a Fatui Harbinger just takes off out of nowhere right?" An awful excuse truly. There had been multiple instances already in his short time in Liyue that Childe had just taken off to get done whatever it was that he needed to get done. In fact, it was something of a known fact within the Bank that he enjoyed heading out for smaller tasks every once in a while just to get some combat practice and stretch his muscles. That being said, there was no way you knew that so...

"So you want someone to account for you, is that it?" you remarked, crossing your arms over your chest as you studied him.

"Well..."

"Okay sure."

He shouldn't have let his gaze fly up to meet yours as quickly as he did. He shouldn't have let the jolt of happiness he felt show in his eyes, or allowed his smile to become the slightest bit more real. But he did, and he was sure that you noticed.

"A-Alright then, let's go!"

~~~

"Well, that went well." You clapped your hands together, brushing off any dirt that had accumulated as you made your way down the shore, taking a seat on a small outcropping or rock placed conveniently in the shade of a large tree.

Childe trailed after, taking big, dramatic steps as he tried to keep the ever shifting sand out of his shoes. "Sure did..." He heard your laughter and despite the fake pout he wore, the sound was nothing less than heartwarming.

"Take your shoes off!" you encouraged, kicking your feet up to show that you had already done a much. After a moment of hesitation, he complied, slipping his boats off and tossing them to the side as he took a seat beside you, staring out at the ocean.

Childe would have loved to say that the silence was comfortable. However, the truth of the matter was that he felt strange. The crash of waves onto the shore was nearly drowned out by the pounding of his own heart as though the thing were beating inside of his head instead of his chest. Well, they had been moving for a while, maybe he was just tired. Or dehydrated. His palms were sweaty though, that was new... Likely just the fact that he was wearing his coat. He wasn't built for the warm Liyue climate after all!

"Childe?" Oh no, your hand was on his shoulder. His already deafening heartbeat felt as though it was speeding up further, the heat in his body seeming to concentrate at the point where your hand made contact with him.

Wait. None of this was normal. All of these feelings seemed to be related to you in some way or another. How strange. Was he ... nervous?

"You called?" He didn't recall thinking those words, but they were already out of his mouth, complete in true "Childe" fashion with a teasing tone and smile. Wow, he was even better at faking it than he thought.

"You were completely spaced out... Don't tell me a little inspection is all it takes to tire out a Fatui Harbinger!" It sounded like just another dig at him but Childe was sure that he heard just the slightest bit of concern hidden in your joking words. The realization did not help his current confusion in the slightest.

"Nothing wears me out! You on the other hand, look like you could use a snack. Now, if only someone brought one..." He tossed back before digging into his bag and pulling out the little carton holding the pair of lemon tarts he had purchased earlier that day. He didn't miss the way your eyes lit up before you pointedly glanced away.

"You think you can bribe me into being nicer to you?" you scoffed.

"Whenever did I say anything like that?" Childe popped open the top, holding the tray out to you. After a moment, you hesitantly reached out, plucking one of the little tarts out.

"Thanks..."

Childe smiled as he took the other half of the pair, immediately taking a huge bite out of the side, savoring the way the tartness of the lemon contrasted with the buttery, flaky crust. "Anytime!"

"I have something for you too..." Popping the last of the treat into his mouth, Childe turned to face you only to see that you were holding something out to him. Taking it immediately, he held it up to his face, turning it about in his hands in confusion.

"Is this, a shell?"

When he looked back at you for confirmation, he was somewhat surprised to see a slight blush beginning to spread over the tops of your cheeks.

"It's called a Starconch! They're native to Liyue so I didn't think you'd seen one before." you offered as clarification as Childe continued to inspect the little thing.

"It's pretty. But why for me?"

There was a pause. "It may have reminded me of you..."

There it was again. The panicked rhythm of his heart and the warmth and the confusion. "Oh? This shell did?"

"It... It looked like your eyes. It's kind of pretty..."

Childe's gravestone was going to look so stupid. Here lies Tartaglia, 11th Harbinger in service of the Tsaritsa. Defeated by a seashell and a compliment about his eyes.

"What are you looking at me like that for Fatui?" He was drawn back to his present, sadly still alive self and your blushing face as you awaited his reaction. He attempted to pull a self-satisfied smirk to his face, combing his mind for a response that was just the perfect balance of confident and joking and accepting, and came up empty.

He tried, he tried as hard as he could but he couldn't think of anything. Anything except you that was. Slowly, he set the Starconch down beside him as he turned fully to face you.

"[name]?"

"Yes?" To your credit, you showed no sign of wanting to retreat. He could see the flash of panic in your eyes as he suddenly came closer and yet, you made no move to pull away.

"Do you really think of me as just disgusting Fatui?"

"Huh?" Apparently, that had not been what you were expecting. You blinked twice, evidently confused.

"Is that what you think of me?" he reiterated, not daring to break eye contact in case it gave you a chance to pull away.

"I mean, you are definitely Fatui but I don't think of you as disgusting or anything..." You offered, eyes wide as though you weren't sure what answer he wanted from you.

"And just to be clear, an honorable representative of the Liyue Qixing wouldn't want to be seen with the Fatui right?" There was a slight waver in his tone that he couldn't seem to get rid of it. He hated it. Rather than the usual confidence that oozed from his every word, he sounded unsure. Hesitant even.

It was you who broke eye contact then, glancing down at your hands as you kneaded them nervously in your lap. "Well, they probably shouldn't..." His heart dropped. "But..."

Childe's eyes flew open as you pressed your lips against his, your own eyes squeezed so tightly shut he was sure it hurt. It took a second of coaxing but he found himself slowly leaning into you, hands coming up to wrap around your waist as yours coiled over his shoulders before traveling up into his hair. He felt you smiling into the kiss and the thought spurred him on as he pulled you in until you were all but sitting on his lap.

It wasn't particularly fiery or passionate or anything he believed your first kiss would be like, but there was something else there. It felt like release. When you began to pull away, Childe let out a soft whine, lips following yours as you drifted tantalizingly out of range.

"Relax harbinger." you drawled, glancing up at him with half-lidded eyes, your expression tempting enough that he almost threw himself at you right then and there. "We have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere."

~~~

"I think this is turning into an actual problem."

Childe pouted in response to your remark as he continued to organize all of the starconches you had collected into neat little rows on the sand before you. There had to be at least 50 of them, all in different shapes and sizes of every shade blue one could imagine.

This had become your new ritual. Every free evening the two of you had, you would come back to this spot, the location of the first starconch exchange. What had started as a cute little bonding activity though, as with anything with Childe, had quickly become a competition. Now, it was a contest as the two of you continuously tried to one-up each other in finding the most beautiful starconch.

"It's fine! They're pretty right?" He turned towards you, stupid shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "They remind you of my eyes remember?"

You rolled your eyes as you straightened out the harbinger's less-than even rows. "Ah, how I regret saying that..."

"Rude!"

When all of the little shells had been perfectly arranged, the two of you stood back to consider them.

"I call the top right."

"Hey, I wanted that one!"

"Too bad, I was quicker."

Childe pouted again but didn't protest as he bent down to pick up the shell you had chosen and then one that he liked as well. When he reached out to offer it to you however, you reached for his other hand, grabbing the shell he had picked.

"Huh?"

You smiled. "You like this one and you like me, so I get this one. "

"I am ... confused," Childe confessed, though the smile adorning his lips contrasted his words. He reached for your free hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you away from your little shaded safe-haven and towards the water.

"Hey!" you protested though you let him pull you there, laughing the entire time. "What are you doing, we don't have a change of clothes!"

"Doesn't matter! It's a waste to come to the beach and never touch the water, don't you think?" Childe grinned as he pulled the two of you into the waves just in time for one to crash down, instantly soaking the two of you from waist down.

You gaped in faux shock as you swatted at the man's arm. "Childe!"

He laughed, a free, unrestrained sound unlike the one he was so used to performing in front of others when trying to remain the ever charming and relaxed Fatui diplomat the people of Liyue had to see him as.

Childe. He had told you to call him that. That was what everyone called him after all, and yet, it didn't sound right anymore. Not coming from you.

"Childe?" It was a question this time, as though you had been able to sense that something was amiss with your lover.

"Ajax," he replied.

"What?"

"Ajax, that's my name. My real one anyway."

Your eyes widened as you stared at him in shock, the hand you had resting against his arm slipping slowly down back to your side. "Is... Is it okay for you to tell me that?"

Childe scoffed, running a hand through his hair. Damn, this was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. It was just a name! "It's my name, and I want you to call me it. There shouldn't be a problem with that right?"

You stared at him for a moment longer before leaning in, placing soft lips against his for just a moment. "Alright then, Ajax. Don't regret it."

And then you dunked him, pushing him down the moment the enxt wave crested over you two. When he pulled himself back to the surface, sputtering in shock, there was a dangerous grin on his face.

"Oh, it's on now!"

~~~

"What's happening with that traveller you've been talking to recently?" There was nothing accusatory about your tone and yet, Childe couldn't help but hear is as an accusation.

"Nothing much," he shrugged. "They're looking for someone and the information they've dug up has been pretty useful so far."

"Useful huh..." Well now you were definitely suspicious. Childe felt bad about it, he really did, but there was no way he could involve you in any of this. His loyalty was to the Tsaritsa and he was required to carry out her orders. With your loyalty in line with the Qixing, he had no doubt that you would be at odds with the Fatui's plans in the coming weeks, but there was nothing he could do about that. What you didn't know couldn't hurt you.

If worst came to worst and he was forced to attack Liyue however, he had already made preparations. A quick look at your schedule for the coming weeks had confirmed that you were going to be taking a quick trip to Fontaine for some business you had chosen not to disclose with him. Not that he particularly cared what it was that you were doing, just that you would be gone when everything went south. As long as you weren't hurt, everything would be fine.

"They're a nice kid honestly! I introduced them to Zhongli yesterday and they seem to be getting along quite well!" Childe offered. You quirked an eyebrow at him, recognizing an olive branch when you heard it.

"I mean, Zhongli is a hard man to hate." You took the branch.

"Which reminds me, we're still on for dinner tonight right?" Childe could pat himself on the back for how smooth that conversation shift was. You seemed less impressed though as you rolled your eyes at him.

"I guess if I have to..."

"Hey!" You were laughing again and Childe felt his heart soften. He hated this game of keeping secrets from you, but if it kept you safe, kept you happy and content and laughing, he might be able to play the game for just a bit longer.

~~~

It felt like you were going to crush his ribcage, but Childe wouldn't have it any other way. He was sure that his grip on you was just as strangling as he buried his face in your neck.

Slowly, you pulled yourself away from him, eyes sad even as you mustered a smile to your face. "I'll be back in 3 weeks max okay! That's not that long!"

"Yes it is." Childe didn't mince his words and didn't miss your flinch at his statement. He wanted to badly to grab onto you and not let you take a step closer to that boat. To drag you back to his apartment with him and sit you down there until this was all over. But he couldn't.

You would be safer in Fontaine. You wouldn't be part of anything that happened. And best of all, if this all went fine, you wouldn't ever have to know what he did. He didn't want to lie to you, but he couldn't see a way around it this time.

Instead of voicing as much, he pulled you back in for a final kiss, not caring that there were definitely people watching and gaping at the show he was putting on. You hummed softly but didn't do much to fight him, letting him press himself into you as you gently brushed some stray strands of his way hair out of his face.

He only let go when the ship's captain sounded the horn in impatience, though his half-smile made it clear that he wasn't particularly mad at the young couple's display. You squeezed his hand once more.

"I'll see you soon okay Ajax."

"Be safe [name]." You nodded smiling at him once more before slowly detangling your fingers from his and making your way up the ramp onto the ship.

Childe waved until the ship had completely left the harbor, even when it was clear that there was no way you could still see him. When the shape of the ship had finally faded behind the sea fog, he grudgingly turned to make his way back to the Bank, only to be faced with a nervous looking Fatui recruit who nearly jumped when they made eye contact.

"M-Master Childe! There's some new information you should probably know about."

Childe raised his eyebrows in a silent question and when the recruit nodded, he took a slow breath it. So it was starting.

~~~

"Master Childe!" Ekaterina greeted him the moment he stepped through the doors of Northland Bank. He mustered the strength to give her a quick wave, even as his entire body ached at the slightest movement. The Foul Legacy transformation really was something but he wasn't sure he would ever truly get used to the backlash.

"How are you feeling?"

"Well enough," he lied. After that stunt that Signora and Zhongli had just pulled on him, he wasn't in the best mood at the moment. "What is the situation like?"

Ekaterina paused and Childe narrowed his eyes at the way some strange expression had crept suddenly onto her face. "What happened?"

"Well, you're quite the wanted man... It seems word has gotten out about your involvement in all this, though I'm not quite sure how..." The traveller huh? Well, that much was expected considering how things had gone. If only they hadn't gotten in his way. Of course, he had relished in the battle they had been able to share, but it would most definitely have been cleaner if they hadn't been around.

"That much is expected," he said with a soft laugh. Ekaterina offered him a thin smile, and that was when he knew that something was wrong. "There's something more isn't there?"

"Um... There was something..."

"Well, spit it out then."

"There were a few casualties in the event..."

"Really?" Childe was genuinely shocked by that. "Outside of the Millelith? I thought the adepti would have been able to protect everyone within the city."

"Yes well, most of the people in the city were fine... It's just, there were some just outside of the border..." Ekaterina fumbled with her words, eyes downcast in a way that was starting to worry Childe.

"Like?"

"Well, there was a ship that turned around because of a storm up ahead and ran straight into Osial's torrents," she finally spit it out, eyes flashing with panic when she finally looked back up at him.

"A ship? A ship..." Childe's blood ran cold. "A ship going where?"

"... Fontaine sir."

The next few moments may have been filled with silence to an outsider watching, but Childe's head was filled with a roaring. He heard voices and people and the sound of his blood rushing through his body and the air filling his lungs as he heaved in breath after breath. It was all just noise, there was so much noise.

Childe grabbed onto the counter as his feet collapsed from under him, breath coming in thick inhales as he struggled to gain purchase. No. This, this wasn't happening. There was no way.

"Where is the ship?" he managed to get out between breaths, eyes flashing up to Ekaterina. He wasn't sure if she squeaked in fright or it was just his delirious mind playing tricks on him, but she answered him anyway, hurt registering even in her voice.

"It washed up on shore this morning... There was no sign of anyone who had been on-board..."

This wasn't real. Childe's vision was starting to go dark, black edges creeping slowly inwards as he struggled to sit back up.

"That... That can't be possible. They're here. They probably made it back. They're waiting for me. I have to get to them." He attempted to push himself to his feet but all the strength in his body was gone. The black in his vision was growing and without warning, he found himself slumped against the cold tile of the Northland Bank floor.

"Master Childe!" Ekaterina's worried voice registered somewhere in his brain but the darkness was slowly encroaching.

His fingers attempted to clutch at something, only to find the chilly smoothness of tile beneath him. This was a dream, some fever nightmare brought on my the transformation. It was fine, he would open his eyes and everything would be fine. He could already see you, the little smirk on your face as you teased him for getting so worked up over nothing. Oh, you'd have a good laugh about this one.

And it was with the image of you in his mind that Childe passed out.

~~~

Childe barely remembered the weeks that had followed. He distinctly remembered not going to the funeral, partially because he would be arrested on the spot, but mostly because that would mean accepting it all, and he was not ready for that.

He still wasn't sure he accepted it.

And so, here he was. This wasn't your spot, the little cove with the rock and perfectly placed tree where you were constantly unearthing the most perfect starconches, but it was the Liyue shore, and that was all it took. Childe studied the shell in his hand for a moment, brushing the remaining flecks of sand off slowly as he did.

This was the prettiest one he had seen in a while. There weren't any visible cracks and the color was the richest blue, exactly like the one you had given him so long ago.

Childe considered the conch for a moment longer before sliding it into his pocket and turning away from waves.

"Why? Why won't you move on?"

Childe sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat as he trudged up the shore. The little shell rubbed against his fingers and even though he knew there was no one there, he spoke out loud.

"It reminds me of you. Everything does."

[bouncingkadachi]

Blessed Rain

Summary: A Hunter’s weapon of choice says a lot about them. OR: Kyle upgrades his weaponry and gets caught red-handed in the act. Luckily (?) for him, only Tsukino seems to know exactly why he's having an emotional crisis over this.

Word count: 3,260

Note(s): set post-game

Also available on AO3!

Kyle’s had his new bow for a good couple of weeks before the feel of the limbs and the weight of the draw became comfortable enough for him to consider upgrading it. If he’s going to be injured, he reasons, he’d rather it be purely by way of monster and not because he pulls a muscle wrestling with a bow that hasn’t been properly broken in. His wallet despairs as he forks over the zenny, but this’ll hopefully let him take on some of the bigger hunts like the ones that Reverto goes on. It’ll all be worth the investment up front once he has his completely finished bow and restocked his coatings and finally drops the last of his coin on a couple new talismans.

He refuses to think about the implications of his reasoning with a literal coin, rolling it around and around his fingers as he pushes through the market throngs towards the smithy’s. Perhaps he ought to have a change of scenery—the fog-shrouded summits of Terga were said to be particularly beautiful at this time of year, and the heat in Lamure was becoming just shy of unbearable.

The final product that the blacksmith puts into his hands when he finally makes it to collect is nothing short of gorgeous. Blessed Rain is sleek where his old Rex bow was bulky, far lighter and certainly not as clunky. The upgrades on the riser gives the entire weapon a pleasant solidness in his hand, yet the delicately reinforced plating on the limbs doesn’t retract at all from its flexibility. The decorative grip protector gleams. Just looking at it makes Kyle excited to shoot.

“Bring her back if you’re finding that you need anything adjusted,” the smith tells him after Kyle’s diligently inspected every inch of the bow. “Kept the poundage the same for you, but added another inch to the draw length like you asked.”

“Thanks,” Kyle says. Eventually, he’d like to work up to the point where he can up the poundage again. Even just another five pounds would be good. He can do most of the hunts in his skill range alone now, but extra firepower would make him just that much more efficient, or that much of a better support for team hunts. 

The smith laughs when Kyle sheepishly admits this. “Well, I always like to help a Hunter improve, and you know where to find me,” he says cheerily, clapping Kyle enthusiastically on the shoulder. “Come by again anytime if you need a tune up or want to test out something new.” 

And with that, he waves Kyle away so that another Hunter can step up, holding a tired-looking sword and shield and looking equally exhausted. “Aye, rookie Hunter?” Kyle hears as he wanders off to find a more relaxed corner of the market in which to admire his new bow some more. “If you’ve got the materials I can repair and upgrade that for you.” The conversation peters out and melts into the general din of the marketplace as Kyle slips into the crowd, taking care to step out of the way of a Felyne carrying an absolutely massive basket groaning with produce. He watches the precarious load totter away, trying and failing to locate Tsukino in the brief respite the parted crowd affords him. They’d split earlier that morning and he hasn’t seen her since.

He still hasn’t managed to find even a whisker of Tsukino’s whereabouts by the time he settles into a decently quiet nook next to a stall selling all manner of spices. Pity, because the dappled light spilling through the colorful drapes of the marketplace catches so beautifully on the milky-white sheen of the bow, and he’d been looking forward to showing it to her. As a Hunter, Kyle will always care more about weapon practicality than aesthetics, but as a normal human being he certainly won’t turn down the opportunity to have both an aesthetically pleasing and perfectly functional weapon. He’s still grinning a little when he goes to strap the bow to his back, and it’s in the process of looking up that his gaze catches onto wide eyes staring plainly at him from across the street. 

He freezes, arm suspended awkwardly halfway to sheathing. His beautiful bow glints damningly in the bright Lamure sunlight as his unexpected friend wades through the throngs of people towards him, gesturing for him to stay put with a wave of her hand that really can’t be mistaken for anything other than a greeting.

“Hey,” he says cautiously and lamely when she finally reaches him. Belatedly, he remembers to lower his arm. He is momentarily thankful that she doesn’t try to reach up for his face in the Mahanan greeting, although his goodwill evaporates when she leans in to inspect his bow, body thrumming with unexplainable anticipation.

“Oh, that’s pretty,” she says finally. Kyle can’t help himself from preening just a little, shifting his grip so that she can get a better look. After all, what was the point of spending all that money and materials if there was no one to excitedly show the end product off to? Besides, it’s been a while since they last saw each other. Last he heard, she had been traveling, keen to finally see the world on her own terms and at her own pace.

“It’s fresh off an upgrade,” he answers smugly. “Easier to handle than the Rex.”

“Slightly less intimidating though,” she chimes in, and Kyle bristles, not liking where this conversation is going. And true to form, she goes in for the kill: “Mizutsune? I recognize the plating.”

Kyle can feel the flush crawling up to his ears. Logically, he knows that there’s nothing for him to be embarrassed about. It’s a mark of good smithing that one can tell at a glance which monster a weapon was inspired by, and a Mizutsune was both powerful and extremely iconic. This bow in particular had good stats and the ability to fire rapidly, which admittedly took him some time to get used to after focusing mostly on piercing shots. The paralysis coating that works so well on this bow has also already saved his skin on more than one occasion. There is little more a career Hunter can ask for out of his weapon. It’s not like he’d been heading out to Pomore Garden at any given opportunity and holding onto an increasing multitude of Mizutsune materials just because he wanted some physical reminder of what was probably the most pivotal moment of his life, something that never failed to put a very complicated and jumbled mess of emotions deep within his chest whenever he thought back to it.

He’s starting to feel very, very hot under his collar. The sun is terrible. He resolves that his next big hunt really needs to be somewhere outside of Lamure.

His friend, however, just looks more and more baffled as he launches into an unprompted defense of his newest purchase. Every time she opens her mouth, Kyle talks a little faster. Eventually, she doesn’t even bother trying to interject, which is arguably worse, because instead she just looks progressively more and more thoughtful. Kyle wished desperately for Tsukino to peel away from whatever hidey hole she was tucked in. Then, his train of thought screeches into a rude and abrupt halt.

“What,” he croaks. “What are you doing.”

One of her brows quirks up. “I sure hope your eyes are still working because that’d be a detriment to your job,” she says plainly. “What does it look like I’m doing? I promise it’s not a trick question.”

What she’s doing is holding Kyle’s hand—the one not clutching his new bow—the one that had apparently been waving about with increasing agitation as he jabbered on and on. What Kyle doesn’t understand is why. It’s not like he just did some impressive shot to give them the edge in a battle or anything else that was cool and hand-holding worthy. He’d just been yammering about bow mechanics, and maybe embarrassingly dipping into his talisman hopes and dreams. He stares a little helplessly at his trapped hand. Her kinship stone winks up at him.

“Look,” she says patiently, when it becomes very clear that Kyle is going to need a moment before he can get his brain back online. “There’s nothing wrong with a bow made from Mizutsune parts and I am the last person who will ever turn down pretty things. What I was going to say was that this is an interesting departure from your whole—” She pauses, as though looking for a specific word. “Well, your whole image as a very grown-up and serious and intimidating Hunter or whatever it was you were trying to convey with that scowl you used to like so much. And you weren’t letting me get a single word in.”

“You’re getting plenty of words in now,” Kyle scowls, just to be contrary. “And I’ve grown since then.”

“Someone’s in a mood today.” She smiles, crinkle-eyed, up at him. Kyle very seriously debates wrenching his hand out of her hold like he did the last time this happened and then pointedly doesn’t act on the impulse.

“Why’re you in Lulucion?” he asks instead with a truly remarkable level of self-restraint. “Thought you’d never want to come back again after what happened.”

She shrugs, the greatsword on her back heaving with the movement. “Guess I’ve grown too,” she says loftily, though she sobers quickly. “I was actually visiting my grandfather. He used to go back to Mahana around this time of year… he can’t do it anymore of course but I’ve got Ratha now, so I figured I could do it instead. And then I figured I’d stop by Rutoh before going home, to see Ena and Alwin and wheedle a few more stories out of them.”

She lets go of Kyle’s hand. He tries not to miss it. “Even Ratha can’t make the trip in one go, and Lulucion was closest, so we’re stopping to rest. I dropped by the Scrivener’s Lodge earlier because I was hoping Reverto could give me a few weapon pointers as I’ve saved up just about enough for an upgrade, but they told me that he was out on an urgent mission and wouldn’t be back for a while.”

“Oh,” Kyle says, a little stung that she hadn’t come specifically to see him first, out of all the Hunters in the city. He’s slightly mollified when she grins at him, though.

“And then I met Tsukino by the cannons. She said I could find you here, so here I am.”

“I don’t know anything about greatswords,” Kyle blurts out, and immediately wants to kick himself. She blinks at him, and then bursts into laughter.

“I was just going to ask the smith,” she wheezes when she’s got herself somewhat back under control. “Can’t I see a friend just to say hi to him anymore?” Kyle stares very intently down at some of the finer detailing on his bow.

“Where is my Palico anyway?” he finally settles on, falling into a tried and true grumble. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

She waves her hand vaguely in the air. “Navirou said something about getting donuts. I wasn’t really listening.”

But there was a donut stand right here in the marketplace, Kyle wanted to cry out. He should have seen Tsukino by now if they’d really been going to buy snacks! And how was it possible that he had missed Navirou in his entirety, between the Felyne’s penchant for wearing ridiculous little outfits and his inability to shut up?

“Why? You have a hunt you need to run off to?” 

“Yes,” Kyle says hotly. It’s a lie. He’d accepted a subquest that wouldn’t depart until later that evening for the sole purpose of testing out his new weapon in a relatively stress-free environment. Before that, he’d just planned on hitting up the shooting range in the training arena to break in the new string. His schedule was very, very free. Tsukino was perfectly aware of that.

His eyes widened. Tsukino had been with him on every excursion into the Gardens. She went where he did (usually), and it’s not like Kyle would ever begrudge her a visit home. But she’d been with him every step of every single Mizutsune job he’d ever taken—had watched him craft traps when he needed to capture and had kept watch for opportunists hoping to sneak up as he’d carved. She’d been the one who’d recommended the spinner for all the excess purplefur he was ending up with. At first, he’d simply thought that she’d wanted the thread to mend some of her own items, or to send back home to her brethren, but instead she’d tucked each skein of vibrant, silk-soft thread into the bottom of his pouch with gentle paws, cryptically talking about how strong a material it was, and how nice it looked when woven. Kyle has never touched a loom in his life, but now he’s looking at someone who he definitely knows has.

His stomach drops. Hadn’t Tsukino looked particularly smug ever since he’d lingered on the blueprints for Blessed Rain after getting a look at its stats and required materials?

“She got me,” he groans. His friend just looks at him bemusedly, though perhaps with a touch of wariness at his ferocious frown. Hastily, he tacks on: “It’s nothing. I, uh—I just remembered that I needed to tell Tsukino something. Important. Later, when I find her again.”

“Alright,” she says, though she doesn’t quite look like she believes him. “A quest’s a quest, though, so I won’t keep you here. The bow really is pretty though. I know I just said it doesn’t match your image and all but I really don’t think you can go wrong with something you like. You’ve got the skills for it, anyway.”

“Thanks,” he croaks, feeling a little overwhelmed. He manages two whole steps out of the nook before he pauses, worrying at his lower lip. “Actually,” he says sharply, spinning around on his heel and nearly causing his friend to startle right into a spice display. “How long are you staying for?”

“However long it’ll take to upgrade my sword, I guess,” she says after she collects herself, the words lilting into a question. “Three days or so, I guess?” She skirts nervously away from the glaring vendor, careful not to overbalance on her greatsword.

“Cool,” Kyle says with a nod, steeling himself. “Great, even. Look, how about this. Your last visit to Lulucion was terrible—” an understatement, “—so when I get back from my hunt I’ll show you some of the better sights Lulucion has to offer. There’s a hole in the wall that I think you’ll like. Dad used to take me after hunts—they grill really nice queen shrimp. And the parapets—you can climb them, and they’ve got all these little carvings in the stone that you can search for like a scavenger hunt.” He’s keenly aware that he’s rambling again, but she looks interested, so he barrels on. “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow just as soon as I can get a nap in. We can stay in the city or take Ratha out to the Barrens, down by the water. Just make a day of it.” He’s pretty certain that he looks at her with something akin to hope as she considers. It feels like a lifetime before she finally comes to a decision. 

“I want to take Ratha out in the evening,” she says finally. “I don’t want him to be cooped up too long here ever again.”

“Yeah,” Kyle breathes out, the word rushing out of him in a flood of relief. “Yeah, I can work around that.” She beams at him.

“I’ll look forward to it,” she says, sincere and looking more than a little surprised despite herself at the prospect of looking forward to doing anything in Lulucion. “I’m staying at the inn closest to the stables. Pretty sure I’m the only Rider there currently so they’ll know who I am.” Kyle nods, and lets himself get his hand squeezed again, though not without her hands first hovering in an instinctual bid for his cheeks before she remembers herself.

“Good luck on your hunt. If I see Tsukino I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“She’ll show up in due time,” he mutters darkly. “I’ll let you know if Reverto gets back early or if he’s just been loafing around this entire time. For your next upgrade or whatever.” She laughs, bright, and then slips off into the crowd to wrestle her way into the smithy’s queue. Kyle is left staring in her wake before his gaze is drawn back down to his bow.

“This is all your fault,” he tells it. Predictably, it doesn’t answer. Also predictably, Tsukino takes that exact moment to drop down from seemingly nowhere. 

“I didn’t know we had another job lined up,” the Felyne says delicately, carefully brushing crumbs off of her coat. Kyle groans, sheathing his weapon.

“Don’t tease me,” he huffs. “I’m going to the shooting range. Are you coming?”

“Hmm,” says Tsukino. “I suppose I can spare the time.”

“Of course you can spare the time!” Kyle hisses, indignant. “You just spent the day eating donuts and eavesdropping!” He pointedly doesn’t look towards the smithy, where his friend was patiently browsing the display while another Hunter was getting their hammer looked at.

“One must always be prepared with the latest intel,” Tsukino says mildly. “I’m glad the upgrade went well.” 

“It’s got good stats,” Kyle protests weakly in what is quickly becoming a tired argument. “The rapid shots have been going very well. And I had a surplus of Mizutsune parts.”

 “Yes,” his hunting partner agrees readily enough. “Have you thought of what you’re going to do with the thread?”

“This conversation is finished,” Kyle says abruptly, making a very determined push towards the market’s exit. “Either come or don’t, so long as we meet at the gate for tonight’s hunt.”

Tsukino looks at him with exasperated fondness, which is frankly a little insulting, but readily falls into step next to him. Kyle wonders how many rounds he’s going to have to shoot in order to clear his head again and rid it of thoughts of Hazepetal Garden or Mizutsune or high-grade thread that he’ll never use himself. He’ll examine them again someday—because he’s not a coward—but that day is most certainly not today.

He does his rounds in the training arena and marvels at the way the string slides off his fingers with a satisfying twang, even though it’ll still be a good few days before it’s fully broken in to his liking. Tsukino’s saved him a donut, the cakey sweet sticky with honey and practically melting in his mouth. He’s got some free time even after stocking up for the evening hunt, so he takes a few minutes to browse the quest board, taking careful note of the jobs that were situated near the Harzgai Rocky Hill, or the ones from further afield in Alcala that’ll take him closer to Rutoh. And when he leaves the city, he pointedly doesn’t look up at the familiar shape circling in the dusky sky, even as he knows that they’ll surely see the last rays of the setting sun winking off of the plates of his bow like a beacon.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E1; Chapter One, The Vanishing of Will Byers - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘖𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The boys and I finally make it to school; my legs are always exhausted by the time we reach the student drop off.

I hear the bell ring when we park our bikes.

"That's weird. I don't see him." Mike finally says what we've all been thinking. 'Where the hell is Will?' Personally, I'm starting to get really worried.

As if catching onto my growing worries, Lucas chimes in.

"I'm telling you. His mom's right. He probably just went to class early again."

I always admired how Lucas can always be so optimistic with stuff like this; always thinking logically. He's really good at keeping the party level-headed. I tend to worry a lot so it's nice to have a friend like Lucas to keep my feet on the ground.

"Yeah, he's always paranoid Gursky's gonna give him another pop quiz."

"Well, I don't blame him. Gursky gives me pop quizzes all the time, and it's exhausting. Never knowing when you will be put on the spot" I say.

"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen."

'Oh just perfect. Troy and his goon'

"Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show," Troy says smugly.

I click my tongue and shake my head in a mocking tone.

"Oh, sorry guys but we actually can't make it today. By any chance, can we catch your act tomorrow?" I bat my eyelashes at them in innocence, the comment earning a few chuckles from Lucas, Mike, and Dustin.

Troy's face scrunched up in anger, clearly offended by my comeback.

"Hey, no one asked you, shithead!"

I roll my eyes at his cheap insult. However, the boys were having none of it, especially Dustin, as usual. They get into a threatening stance, while Dustin tries to lunge for them, but I put my arm out to stop them before they can even do anything.

"Guys, just ignore them. It doesn't matter to me. They're not even worth it."

Troy and his puppet James only seem amused.

"So who do you think would make more money in a freak show anyway?" Troy continues.

"Midnight," he punches Lucas. I clench my fists, my chest already burning with anger.

"Frogface," he punches Mike, and my jaw tightens so tight it threatens to lock.

"Orphan" he punched me. I took a deep breath trying to control my anger.

"Or toothless?" He shoves Dustin.

It's taking everything in me not to tackle him right now. I've always been like this. Whenever someone insults me, I'm able to brush it off, but as soon as someone goes after the people I care about, I lose it. Big time.

His goon sighs and holds his hand to his chin as he pretends to think about it while he looks at all of us. He then stops at Dustin and singles him out, in a voice that's clearly supposed to be Dustin's.

"I'd go with Toothless." My nails are probably drawing blood from my palms at this point.

"I told you a million times, my teeth are coming in. It's called cleidocranial dysplasia." Dustin says.

"I th'old you a million th'imes" he continues.

"Screw you," I shout, lunging for him. But before I could ever actually reach him, Dustin pulls me back, stopping me as I had him.

"Y/n, you were right. They aren't worth it."

They just laugh smugly in response. I grit my teeth and cross my arms.

"Do the arm thing."

"Do it, freak!"

"OH, I swear to GOD," I go to charge at him but Mike pulls me back and pats my back trying to calm me down. I glare daggers at the boys in front of me. I swear I'm seeing red and it feels as if my blood is literally boiling in veins.

"Y/n it's fine. Look, here," he sighs tiredly, putting down his backpack and taking off his jacket. He then extends his arms out and you can hear his bones crack. He then looks to the bullies pointedly and says, "There, I did it. Will you leave us alone now?"

The bullies groan in disgust and Troy says, "UGH. It gets me every time!" They laugh, shoving us aside roughly and walk away.

"Assholes," Lucas beat me to it.

"I think it's kinda cool," Mike offers, looking at Dustin. "It's like you have superpowers or something. Like Mr. Fantastic."

"Yeah, except I can't fight evil with it."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

{Trigger Warning for Anxiety Attacks}

Troy and his friend had just left us alone, so the four of us began making our way to class. As we walk through the hallways, the three of them end up side by side by side next to each other while caught up in their conversation which at this point, had drifted to planning our next campaign. Normally I'd be all over it but I found myself drifting back and keeping to myself, my thoughts wandering to Will.

'I really hope he's okay. Ya know what? No, Lucas is right, as usual, he's got to be at class by now. He has to be.'

I try to push all the negative thoughts to the back of my mind as I try and focus on getting to the classroom as soon as possible just to prove to myself he's okay and I'm just overreacting. The four of us approach Mr. Clarke's room and I run ahead, no longer able to wait another second. I pop my head in the door and to my great dismay, he is nowhere to be seen. I take a deep breath, and stumble back, that familiar viscous feeling of a pit in my stomach. My anxiety is kicking in.

The boys look to each other in silence, all thinking the same thing.

'This is bad. Will would never skip. And he's not at home, so something must be very wrong.'

Before the boys get the chance to say anything, I slip away and walk quickly down the hall to the bathroom, my arms tucked into my sides defensively while my head is down. I always run to the bathroom to be alone when I have an anxiety attack. I can't be around people when it's this bad so I usually end up sitting in the stall, trying to calm down. The guys know I have anxiety attacks like this sometimes and I know they want to help, but they don't know how and that's fine.

When I reach the familiar stall, I slam it shut and sit on the edge of the seat and put my face in my hands as my elbows are propped up on my knees. My breathing is ragged and my eyes become soaked in tears as panic takes over my body. That familiar feeling of nausea returning. The endless 'what ifs' begin flooding my mind.

'What if he got hit by a car on his way home?'

'What if he got kidnapped?'

'What if... he's dead?'

Just the thought of never seeing my best friend ever again makes me wail. I'm rocking back and forth hugging my torso when I remember I have to take deep breaths or I might pass out. I try to remember to tell myself that I don't have all the information and that there has got to be some sort of explanation for all of this.

That it's just my anxiety talking. It's just brain noise. I just need to learn how to manage it.

I spend the next few minutes focusing on taking deep breathes, and after what feels like hours, I am finally breathing normally again.

I grab my bag which had been thrown to the ground during my attack and exit the stall. I stand in front of the mirror washing my hands and I look at my eyes which are now totally swollen from crying.

I reach down and splash some water on my face, and rub my eyes. Getting the remainder of the water off with a paper towel. As I look at my slightly improved reflection I take another deep breath and head to class. Pretending everything's normal and I hadn't just had a meltdown in the bathroom, as usual.

I pick up my pace as I shrug my shoulders to secure my backpack so it doesn't fall. I was lucky I was able to come down from my attack as quickly as I did because it seems I wasn't late like last time. It looks like I made it with just a minute to spare. I walk over to where the party and I usually sit. I think twice before sitting down next to Dustin.

I know at this point the boys are aware of the state I'm in judging by the looks of sympathy they are giving me. The state of my eyes and the fact I didn't take my normal seat next to Will's probably gave me away. I decided to take the seat in front of my usual so I don't have stare at Will's empty seat and be worrying all class. So as they say, out of sight out of mind. While waiting for class to start I try and think of different things to keep my mind off of Will, and my mind wanders the new Heathkit ham shack that was supposed to have come today.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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