#people who have finished the story already might notice things on a reread that they didn't the first time

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Six

I have Deja-vu when I return to the Tullamore stadium where I spent countless Sunday afternoons as a teenager, forced to sit at pitch side as Kelly roared her support for the players with a ferocity that always kind of pissed me off. She wasn’t into sports, not really, she just pretended that she was because she had this fantasy of one of the players spotting her by the barriers and coming over to ask for her number. Of course, none ever did, but eventually, when she was sixteen she talked her way into one of their after parties at the club house and kissed six of them one after the other with the same efficiency as a local politician handing out fliers at a shopping centre. She didn’t get any phone numbers either, just a crusty cold sore that hung around on her lip for two weeks.

Today, for the first time there is no Kelly by my side, and I realise upon entry that it’s been almost four years since I’ve set foot in this place. I don’t know why I thought it’d look different, but everything is the same, from the sun bleached plastic seats to the mud, grass, and leather smell in the air. I’ve changed but all these old places, they stay exactly the same. Claire links her arm with mine and we head down the steps towards our seats near the front. She’s wearing a Tullamore jersey. Most people on our side are too, painting one whole side of the stadium in blue and white. I’m just wearing a grey jumper. I had a matching jersey years ago, in fact I even went to the trouble of digging it out of the bottom drawer of the chest in my childhood bedroom earlier, but it’s girls size 13-14. It won’t even go over my chest anymore. 

“Are you excited?” I say to Claire, who I expect to be beaming, but isn’t. 

“Yeah I suppose.” She says. 

“It’s a bit mad to be here together, isn’t it? Like, how many of these matches would you say you go to?”

“Oh God, like, probably all of them, I’m always stuck in these seats watching him.”

“You’re very supportive.”

“I’m a saint.”

My smile falters a bit, she doesn’t seem excited in the least. When I imagined her coming to these games I always had a picture in my mind of her cheering him on with voracious enthusiasm, hanging over the railings, chanting his name, but by the rather stoic expression on her face today I’m starting to doubt my own assumptions. “Not pushed about the match, no?” 

She sighs. “No, it’s fine, I just… this has been a touchy subject between us lately.”

“Football?”

“It’s how much he wants to play it.”

I frown. “But he’s made it onto the senior team, surely it’s normal that it’ll take up a lot of his time.”

“Yeah it’s just like,  he’s in fourth year in UCD now, I wish he’d just study or something, focus on his degree.”

“Oh.”

“There’s no future in football, like, he’ll never get paid for it and I just don’t want him to throw away his science degree because he’s too caught up with an amateur sport. There’s good money in pharmaceuticals if he works hard enough, and then we could start saving for a mortgage or a wedding, or I don’t know, kids or something.”

I nod, though it’s incredibly weird to hear her talk about such things now, at twenty one years old, when they seem lightyears away for me. A mortgage? I don’t even know how that works, never mind how I’d go about saving for one, but Claire has always been eager to settle. 

“Is he struggling to balance both things?”

“Well, he isn’t really trying to. He’s just not doing his college work.”

“At all?”

She shakes her head. Her mouth becomes a thin line as she stares out over the pitch where the players have begun to filter out, shaking the hands of the other team, and I spot Shane for the first time, dressed in a blue jersey with stripes across his shoulders. He is powerful looking, even amongst all of the others. Two men in Helly Hansen fleeces and caps walk straight through my line of vision and settle into the seats directly in front of us, blocking out the view momentarily. By the time I regain my view of the pitch the players have all settled into their starting positions. 

“I assume you’ve talked about this with him.” I say to Claire. 

“Yeah of course, but I might as well be speaking to a brick wall. You know how he is with talking about things. At all. Ever.”

I hesitate. “He can be a bit withholding, for sure.” 

“Never go out with an Irish man.” She declares. “They’ll only wreck your head.” I want to tell her that men from other countries haven’t been much more straightforward in my experience, but then the whistle blows and the match begins. 

It’s true what they say in the newspapers about Shane Healy. He’s like a bolt of lightning on that pitch. He’s big, he’s quick and he’s aggressive, and yet there is something about his style of play that I didn’t expect to see. He’s like a child out there. The way that he practically skips along with the ball, lobbing it up into his hands and kicking it up the pitch makes it seem like he’s mocking the players around him, the ones who can’t catch him, can’t stop him. 

I watch him possess the ball once again, drop it onto his right foot and neatly slot it through the goalposts for a perfect point. The crowd erupts into euphoric cheers, including me and Claire, who both laugh ourselves onto our feet and start yelling out for him. I’m not close enough to see him smiling, but I know he is, jogging around in a wide circle, clenching his fists in celebration. 

The two men in front of us are muttering about something when we sit back down, and the only reason I tune in is because I hear them say his name. “Healy. Number fifteen. ” I nudge Claire and mutter “They’re talking about your boyfriend there.”

“What are they saying?”

We try to listen in, but the stadium is too loud to catch anything but the odd word. “I can’t hear.” I admit. “Are they Australian? Hardly.” The idea of a person coming all the way from the continent of Oceania to find themselves in a shabby Tullamore stadium, of all places, would be markedly strange. 

“Oh, foreign men?” Claire drawls. “Maybe I should give one of them my number.” She slams her sunglasses onto her face, shielding her eyes from the sharp October sun, and we both put our focus back onto the pitch. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[mars-mystic]

Hiii Glance is something I hadn't considered before at all, wanna share some of the appeal?

I am very confused but intrigued

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret nonny, follow me. *takes you by the hand and leads you through many well lit corridors, ending with a final door. It is simple, but welcoming, already propped open for you.*

This is where the magic happens. *you step into a room. It is brightly lit, and filled with animate conversation. However, neither George nor Lance is anywhere to be found*

What’s this, you say. I thought you were gonna show me the appeal of glance. *I nod, cryptically*

I am. *as we walk around the room you begin to notice a large group forming around one corner. As we walk by, a massive cheer goes up, turning everybody’s heads*

What was that, you ask.

They did a thing, I say, grinning. We’ll come back once you’ve finished your tour. *we walk around the room in companionable silence, a few eyes on us, watching me, watching you.*

Do you get it now?

It’s just a bunch of people in a room, you say, confused. I wanted the appeal. Tell me about their history, their canon events. Do they even interact at all?

Oh that doesn’t matter, I say with a smile. It’s all about the people. The community. We built this place for ourselves, for our stories. So that we could share them with each other, and you. That’s the appeal. Glance is whatever you want to make of it.

***

Ok but listen up. They do have history. The raced together all the time as kids. They have a rivalry. They were somehow always around each other. They share a birth year. They never talk to each other anymore. Doesn’t it make you curious? Don’t you wonder what happened? What’s going on?

That’s the beauty of glance, how little we know about them. We don’t know their full history, but we know enough to be compelled. The rest is all guesswork babeyy, and it’s FUN. (I’m sure there are people out there who could give you a better idea of their history, but that’s not me. I’m not the historian, I’m the propaganda department).

Their capacity for rivals to lovers is unMATCHED. One sided hatred, one sided rivalries. They are opposites. They are the same. Uptight vs laidback. Cares sooooooo much vs doesn’t give a shit. It shouldn’t work but it DOES.

They are both insane, but in different ways. Insane4Insane. It’s about balance.

***

Shall we peruse the bookshelf? When I got here we only had one (maybe two) pages on ao3. Now we’re at five and counting (let’s go squad!). List is obviously abridged and also woefully incomplete. (I’m not saying this is y’all’s BEST fic (i mean it might be), I’m saying I’m just a girl. Also don’t ask what the categories mean. They are based vaguely on publishing dates but also vibes.

Early works

1. Parallel Players by crimandclove (@parallelplayers). This TOME was my first intro to glance and let me just say… it was convincing. Compelling. Some would say life changing (I would). This is THE glance bible. Pretty sure all of us have drawn at least a little bit of inspo from it for our own fics (I know I have).

2. cheque please by weegreenbean (@weegreenbean)

I would be remiss in talking about glance without mentioning my beloved. Doing god’s work over in strollonso but also over here in glance nation. Shoutout to this one because I read it last night, and it is textbook Early Glance™️. And because you couldn’t pay me to pick a favourite, there are too many to choose from.

3. Kamikaze by pitconfirm (@pitconfirm). Now with sequel. And both make me want to scream. One of the first fics I read when I got here.

4. The Worst Way to Love Somebody is Quietly by LilShiro (@lil-shiro). Ok I also read this one last night. But it’s soooooooooo them.

Post-modern Reformation (or whatever)

1. off-schedule by Anonymous. Always worth a reread. Always making me insane

2. good luck, babe! by Anonymous. Another fic I read last night. This might just be a list of fics I read last night, now that I think of it.

3. Superposition by girlcowboy3 (@girlcowboy3)

4. I tried so hard to remember where, when, why, how- by abovecalamity (@abovecalamity)

Special Notes

- There is an abundance of girl!george and/or girl!lance fics around. I mean… it is rule 63. Only fair. They are ALL amazing, go check them out

- glance is where I first found out about the soulmate goose trope. That was an… odd but fun period in my life.

- some of you guys have a lot to say (which I love), but you only get ONE mention. HOWEVER I would highly recommend clicking on the little author name button and seeing where that gets you.

Thank you for the ask nonny, hope to see you around (whoever you may be). My inbox is open if you ever wanna chat <3

[sharkneto]

hi!!!! I was rereading the shifting mirrors and holding it together since you finished joining together recently (it’s SO good, it’s so so SO good, your writing is always so well done and flows so well) and I had a couple questions. Sorry if this is weird - if you don’t want to answer them feel free to ignore this ask, I’m just curious!

1.) did you start writing joining together while you were still posting holding it together? a lot of the details I noticed in HIT were referenced in JT, and I was just kind of like ‘that’s a LOT of details to remember’ so I was wondering if you were working backwards !!

2.) have you ever thought about what happens at the end of HIT? do you think they would actually end up stopping the apocalypse, or would the commission try to come and correct them? I thought that was interesting - that the commission said they were done with five, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re done with the offshoot timeline ; if they hadn’t interfered prior, that would mean they were still on track for an apocalypse, right ? I like to speculate about this. with sheer strength of will I think that five would probably end up stopping it, mostly because he knows how to work through his rage rather than act on impulse again - and now he has the knowledge to try and connect the others so that viktor doesn’t feel so isolated.

3.) what was your favorite part of writing the story / what kept you motivated to keep it going ? I’ve started a couple chaptered fics, and then I get three or four chapters in and lose it completely.

I love, love, love the world youve created - I love the characters youve built and the personalities behind them. the dedication youve held on to to keep the series going is admirable; I can barely write 20k, much less hundreds of thousands of words. I was actually thinking of asking your permission to maybe write an offshoot of your offshoot (it might be the thing that gets me back into writing for tua) but idk if I’d have the imagination or creativity to make it nearly as compelling and fun as yours. Congratulations and great work on finishing it !! <333

this got long - feel free to ignore it if it’s overstepping or weird, lol !! I hope you’re doing well - have a great night, shark :)

Hey Toby! Glad you enjoyed it all so much and thanks for the kind words! It's a little surreal to have it done, JT has been a WIP almost as long as I've been into TUA.

I started writing JT before HIT. This whole series was supposed to be a Just For Me Fun Project while I rotted alone during the pandemic that I ended up sharing with permission from orsumfenix and encouragement from friends. I was a bit into JT, I think, when I started thinking about how fun it would be to get more siblings in here, and those musing became HIT. HIT got posted first because it had a lower barrier for entry, with more focus on the Hargreeves we know instead of OCs. So, because the stories were written more-or-less simultaneously, it was easy to reference one or set up something for the other. Working forwards and backwards, with the end of JT already written (in a rough draft) when I was writing HIT, so I knew where Rob, Sarah, and Number were coming off of at that point. (The tiny detail I'm most fond of is Allison in HIT noting that Number broke his nose at some point, and then in JT we get to see the stupid scenario in which he broke his nose.)

(rest under a readmore because I ramble)

I do have thoughts on what happens after HIT! More of a time jump, to Number's Apocalypse Week, and I've got words in a WIP started about that (and a few snips shared in my snip tag, although some I think I've changed some of the details, now). It goes... less smoothly than it should, for a guy who has (almost) all the details he needs. If motivation continues, I'll share that eventually. If it doesn't, I'll word-vomit an outline so at least people who are interested can know how it goes down. I don't see the Commission coming back - the people obsessed with Five are dead, and the organization is done with him. They don't have the resources to spare to keep going after him, so at least in Five and Number's timelines, they're out of the Commission's scope.

What kept me going was a combo of things. 2020-2022ish, I had a fuckton of time. I only worked three days a week because of covid protocols, I couldn't go anywhere because of covid, and I couldn't see anyone because of covid. I had four days a week to fill, and a lot of that time got filled with writing - all of HIT and the first draft of JT happened during this time, plus all the other fics I published throughout that time. What kept me going is that I was having a ton of fun writing and fun interacting with other people about my fics. Love, love, love talking about them (so never apologize for an ask like this, every fic writer is begging for an excuse to ramble like this). I liked thinking about the characters, thinking about Number doing mundane things I was doing made them more interesting, I liked thinking about Rob and Sarah's little romcom life, and I'm fascinated by Five's whole deal. My favorite part of writing these is Five (both versions of him) - thinking about him and how he'd react to x or y, how others react to him. I love that, at his core, he's kind of a loser. I love what an incredible vehicle for grief he is. He's a character of all time for me.

How to keep going, I don't have an easy answer for it. Some people outline, so they have the skeleton of what they're doing and where they're going. I'm not one of those people, I have an idea of the general shape and trajectory of the story and go from there, splitting up chapters as needed. I think it's important to not force it, or the writer's block gets worse and then you're stressed about writing instead of having fun with it, and that's no good - the point is to have fun. If you run out of steam, you run out of steam and you have to take a six-month hiatus until life calms down and you have words again (as a hypothetical example). Don't be afraid to poke at other ideas even if you have a giant fic unfinished. For having 25 fics on AO3, I have 35 other WIP files on my computer. Some of them have a couple hundred words, some have tens of thousands of words, some of them I'll come back to finish, some of them I won't. Such is life - some ideas have legs, others don't. I don't set out thinking "Oh this fic is going to be 50k words with 10 chapters". I just write until it feels done; sometimes that's 2k words, sometimes it's almost 200k words. The point I'm trying to make, here, is that we're all just fucking around having fun, and words flow easier when I'm remembering that and not stressing about being done or trying to finish for a self-imposed deadline. You've got it :)

Feel free to write in my little world! Would love to see what others are thinking about, what stuck with them. Just give me (and orsumfenix, if you use Number) a shoutout if you share it! And don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you've got great ideas and the chops to write them out. Don't compare yourself to me; you might write in a world I helped shape, but you've got your own voice and style to give it. I, for one (if you end up writing and sharing it), would love to hear your version of it all :)

[moondirti]

Hi Dee. I’ve been rereading your cod work lately (and it’s fantastic!!) and was wondering, do you have any tips on how to alleviate your writing style (I think it’s called prose). I want to write like you and have beautiful sentence structure but I can’t create any sentences like that and I don’t want to just copy yours into my writing, you know? That’s be very rude and unethical. Thanks you!

hi darling! thank you for your kind words<3 i'm going to try and walk you through my writing process to help you get a better understanding of my diction/prose, but fair warning, most of it is questionable and a lot of the time, i just spew my train of thought onto a document and call it a day. everybody has their own style and it's just smth u have to figure out the majority of on your own

1. FIND WORK THAT INSPIRES YOU

I think what's helped me improve my writing the most is looking at other people's work, and it seems like you're in luck having already taken that step. Being able to recognise what you like, why you gravitate towards it and what it's able to say about ideas you have a hard time formulating is one of the best ways to adapt your own voice. Copying others' work is absolutely unethical, like you said, but you can always jot down little words/actions/vibes they include to repurpose into your own. That'll put you on the right track for developing a style that feels right to you, and eventually, you'll start thinking that way naturally.

2. WRITE WITH INTENTION

Yeah, we've all heard this one before. But seriously – one of the reasons it takes me so long to finish my WIPS is because I overthink every line. That's not to say you should doubt yourself, not at all! But creativity is not a spontaneous thing (at least not in my case) and oftentimes, your first draft will not be your best. Writing with intention means to consider why you're including certain phrases/words, why you're structuring it the way you are, how can it be improved to convey meaning more efficiently, etc...

For example, let's say I write the sentence "Eva hasn't been to a party in so long, so the mixer is an overwhelming onslaught of sensations. when she first enters." It's good, but it can be better. Personally, I would give a few examples of said sensations and relate them to Eva, who she is as a person and how it affects what she notices first. (In this case, I asked myself the question of why she hasn't been to a party in so long and came up with a claustrophobic/mysophobic personality for her.)

With all that in mind, my second draft might look something like "Bodies pressed against each other, weaving cages of flesh on flesh. The mass of it writhes, thrashing like squandered roadkill to music so loud she can't make out its origin. Already, the room begins to close in on her, entirely unwelcoming, and she remembers why she hasn't been to a party in so long."

It's not perfect, but it certainly has much more character!

3. HAVE AN ENDING IN MIND

I don't mean for the story as a whole. But each paragraph should be centred around a topic – that much is elementary – and you should know what you intend to say with it before you start. That way, your sentences knit together that much more seamlessly, and readers are never left questioning 'how did we get to this point?'

It helps if you have an idea for the next paragraph as well! I didn't realise it before, but pacing/transitions/flow can really elevate a piece, and once I started focusing on them I noticed a significant improvement!

4. OVERUSE PUNCTUATION, SPECIFICALLY THE EM DASH

No, just kidding.

... am I?

Hope this helped babe! All of it is very biased and very personal to my process so take it with a grain of salt.

[oscarpiastriwdc]

Hiii 🥰

I’ve just finished a reread (that I’ve started immediately after finishing it the first time) of standing at your door and omggg I’m obsessed !!! & I have some lore questions if I may🤲

1. How did Lewis react to George’s termination (apart from what we already know) - has his relationship with Toto/the team changed because of it?

2. I’ve seen you answered an ask about Gax trying to keep the relationship a secret but that it’s pretty much an open secret in the paddock - when and how does the public find out, and what are the reactions like (were there rumors before this or is it a complete surprise)?

3. Does Max really take just 1 year off, do they later race against each other? When does Baby No. 2 potentially come into the story?

Thank you so much for writing this, I can’t wait to hear more of your thoughts ❤️❤️❤️

HELLO!!!! oh these are fantastic lore questions thank you so much <3 here's (probably) way more information than you asked for

Lewis has talked about how the nature of being a professional athlete means you grow up later than some people might. In this verse, Lewis has reached the point where he's grown weary and tired of the whole system. He's been chewed up and spit out again by the system so many times that all he can see is the rotten core. On top of that, Lewis has a whole mess of feelings about the issue of carrier rights thanks to Nico. Nico's known he's a carrier since he was 12, Lewis found out when he was 16. Nico managed to keep his status a secret through his whole career and Lewis was the only person at Merc who knew. When the GPDA didn't pass the protections the first time around, all his feelings were caught up in keeping Nico's secret and, later, the championship battle. After Nico retired, he felt so guilty for how everything went down and George getting fired brought up the whole mess of feelings again. It's not the final straw, per se, but one of them. He's done with the whole circus and ready to move on. He distances himself from Toto bit by bit until he announces his retirement. The GPDA finally passing protections for pregnant drivers and the news of George's lawsuit settlement lets him feel like he can leave at peace.

The public knows George is pregnant/has a baby, but no one knows who the other father is. Speculation and rumors run rampant, but George pretty much goes into hiding, or at least is never seen with Virginia and/or Max once she's born. There's definitely a rumor that floats around that Max is the father but no one takes it seriously—everyone remembers what their relationship was like before George stopped driving and it's a laughable thought. When Max's leave gets announced, coinciding with George's return to F1, no one makes the connection at first. RBR refuses to share the reasons for Max's leave, and Virginia is never seen at the paddock with George. But Virginia is growing up and George and Max are worrying about making sure Virginia is spending time outside, so Max starts appearing with her around Monaco, face always hidden or covered, but the public notices and starts speculating that maybe she's George's baby. No one engages with the rumors, but they keep growing, eventually reaching the point that everyone knows, even if it's not officially confirmed. It doesn't get confirmed until Max returns to F1 and Virginia makes an appearance at the first race of the season with George's giant bambi eyes in the RBR hospitality.

Max LOVES the stay-at-home dad routine, but it also brings up a ton of Big Feelings regarding his future and his identity outside of racing and his relationship with his own parents and childhood. (I have part of a thing written about Max's Big Feelings while at home with Virginia, we'll see if that ever gets finished or posted lol). He was only planning to take one year off, but ends up taking two, wanting to wait until Virginia is a bit older and at a stage where she can travel with him and George to races. George is still racing and they race against each other for two seasons before George's body can't take driving anymore so he retires, while Max races for another season. At that point, Virginia is 6 and they're ready to have another baby—they decided to wait until they were both retired so Max and George can do the whole pregnancy together.

[awlwren-writes]

3, 4, 17, 18, 21, 30 for the behind the scenes ask

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

I mainly write from start to finish for a particular story or chapter. Sometimes I will move scenes around, of course, or realize I actually want to start sooner and go back to fill things in, but usually I just go and hope the words keep coming.

That said, if I write a series or collection of themed posts, often I write the middle/second one first. This is often something I accidentally do with reading series as well, so maybe that says something about me.

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

Already answered!

17. What fic are you most proud of?

Technically already answered but I'm going to answer again, because choosing one favorite is the worst. The fic I (at this moment, it will probably change with the wind) think is the best out of what I've written might be Over Your Hill. I got to explore a headcanon I like, I got to delve a little more into what their relationship looked like in the early stages (useful for Those Who Wander) and I enjoyed the comfort part. And when I reread it recently I liked it a lot! Which was a very pleasant surprise.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Again with the choosing! You get my commentary anyway in the end notes most of the time because I can't shut up. ^_^

Okay. I'm proud of how I matched up Cor's assault on the dropship in Heaven in a Rage to what Nyx heard in WWFL's chapter, Eternity in an Hour. At that point, the way we were writing is we would talk about the general scheme of things, broad strokes, background info, etc, and then she would write the chapter and then I would write mine as an alternate perspective on the framework she built, and sometimes then we would adjust minor things if I thought of something cool and we had time. But half the fun was fitting my story around hers.

Spoilers here for the climax of the first arc of Smoke and Mirrors, in case anyone wants to read it and enjoy the Drama unspoiled. Plus, it got really long (Long enough to crash Tumblr's Editor, apparently, T_T, so this is the rewritten commentary), so I'm putting it under a cut.

So for Nyx's actual rescue, she gave me: a loud bang and shouting, Nyx hits the wall, someone yelling "(get us out) of here, Drautos", clashes of metal, a roar, Nyx thrown across the ship, then Cor is there talking to him. (I never actually questioned that any of this could be a hallucination, btw, I treated it as a strict guideline. Which maybe made this harder than it should have been. I also have wondered a lot why people in the comments doubted it was Cor that Nyx heard, and just now noticed WWFL's very Evil end note asking if people think it's actually Cor or someone else. Sorry for questioning you all for nearly a year.)

Okay.

This is full on half the fic, so you're getting the highlights, not the whole thing quoted.

The hatch was closing as the ‘ship lifted off, leaving Cor a smaller and smaller window to get on board. He was confident he could cut through the hatch, but he was less confident that the blow would stop there and he couldn’t risk that Nyx was on the other side. Thankfully, the fact that this was an older model was helpful in that the hatch was on the side rather than the front. If he got the right angle… Cor darted up close to the ‘ship, thankful the strange magitek engine didn’t actually give off heat despite its color, and slashed at the hatch from the side. It dropped off the ‘ship entirely, and the ‘ship lurched, off balance from the sudden loss of weight. A soldier fell out of the opening, screaming.

Cor was originally just going to jump on the hatch and prevent it from closing, and then I realized the hatch opens up not down, and he would be squished if he tried. And then, like Cor, I wondered about just cutting it open, and discarded it for similar reasons. But it wasn't speculation in vain, because I could give that train of thought to Cor so he wouldn't instantly have the right answer without trying!

And so we have Cor making himself a permanent entrance, which will come in handy later as well as be a problem later, and we have the bang and a Wilhelm scream, because I am a Star Wars nerd and couldn't resist, and the jolt that knocks Nyx out. It also made my next steps easier, because Cor could kill the pilot mooks quickly without one having to survive long enough to scream, or Nyx to have missed the noise of the fighting.

Through this whole fic, in Cor's perspective the word ship always has an apostrophe in front of it indicating it's an abbreviation for Dropship or Airship, kind of like early writers did for 'droid (See, I told you Star Wars was formative). This is because he's just less familiar with the terminology and the technology itself; when he thinks "ship" (without the apostrophe) he's thinking of a water craft. Drautos doesn't have that problem in his POV chapters, because he has spent a lot of time talking about them with the people who designed them and use them every day.

Moving on. To summarize the next part: Cor gets to demonstrate his skills by mowing some soldiers and techs, gets to see Nyx is alive and ties him down so he doesn't slide out of the plane like the screaming soldier did, and then the copilot tries to attack Cor in a blind panic at having the Immortal in her ship. Cor kills her, and as she dies she squeezes the trigger and sprays the pilot, killing them.

The ‘ship started to dive as the pilot fell forward onto the console.

Cursing this whole day to fall into the depths of Leviathan’s mysteries to never be remembered again, Cor charged across to the front of the ‘ship as fast as he could on his bad leg, pulling the pilot back and grabbing the white joystick underneath them. It reminded him of playing video games with Regis as a teen, but he pushed that memory away and pulled up on the joystick, hoping to level them out at the very least. He had no idea how to land this thing.  

I really enjoy fantasy swears, because I love the worldbuilding behind what makes something vulgar or taboo. A culture that is sex positive might not use "fuck" as a curse, for instance. One without a concept of Hell might instead think of the very creepy depths of the Ocean and how jealously Leviathan guards what is hers, and consider that whatever falls to the ocean floor is more lost than lost, and you get a concept halfway between Davy Jones' Locker and Hell.

Does anyone else remember playing computer games with joysticks? Am I just old? Cor is older, so he gets the experience as well.

The ‘ship did seem to level out, but it also turned back in a wide circle toward the courtyard and the machine guns on the other craft. He tried to straighten it out but the ‘ship wobbled alarmingly and he hastily adjusted his direction back to the way it had been. Hopefully Drautos had taken the other ‘ship out by now.

Actually, as the commander of the Niflheim army, Glauca probably knew how to fly this thing. Hadn’t the glaive captured one once, too? It wasn’t important. He tried to hold the joystick steady and tapped his radio. “Drautos, come in. I need you to tell me how to get this scourge-riddled spawn of a tortoise and a garula landed!”

Here I shamelessly shoehorn my HCs into this fic. The first is that Cor joined the Retinue as a driver, and prides himself on this skill. That makes the inability to instantly be able to pilot a foreign craft on his first time very galling to him personally. The second is that the reason Nyx can do so in the movie is because of said captured craft, which was slotted for an infiltration mission for the Glaive and so the Guard didn't get to play with it. This is how the Traitor Glaives know how to pilot them as well, and might explain how they got the rare pilot-able model during the battle at the airships in the movie.

Cor's lack of ability to fly the ship also allowed me to do two things which made my job easier. First, it gave him a reason to call Drautos, whom he might otherwise be inclined to leave behind just to not risk Nyx further. Yes, it would be great to not have Drautos/Glauca (and I had fun playing with Cor not knowing which name to call him by) running free with all his information, but Cor was hurt and protecting Nyx, and fighting to capture or kill Glauca when he was cornered like this wasn't an acceptable risk if he could avoid it. Second, it allowed him to come back close enough to base that Drautos didn't have to chase down an airship on foot.

There was static over the line, likely interference from the base itself, but no answer. He tried again. “Drautos! I need to get this flying box on the ground or at least last long enough to get it out of here, Drautos!”

And we finally have the line Nyx hears! I changed the first part of it from what WWFL was probably thinking of, but it still fit what Nyx heard, so I was grinned and moved on.

Drautos, by the way, hears none of this, between the metal box Cor is in and the metal boxes and buildings he is in, and probably whatever jamming the base has set up. And because he knows Cor is ridiculously competent at too many things and because Drautos himself knows how to pilot and so sometimes underestimates how difficult it is (as do we all with things we know well), he takes Cor's bad driving as intentional, probably wanting additional backup in case things go wrong.

[Cor circles back around, gets fired on, and then...]

A massive clang resonated through the craft as Cor struggled with the controls, and the ‘ship shuddered from the impact. Cor craned his neck to peer below them at the courtyard, trying to see what had hit them, if someone had managed to bring larger weaponry into the fight, but he needed most of his attention to keep the craft in midair. He risked a quick glance back at the interior of the ‘ship to see if he could see any obvious damage, but his view was blocked by the still partially-melted form of General Glauca.

The big clang is Glauca and his metallic armor hitting the metallic dropship! Yay! The other clangs Nyx hears as he wakes up are the bullets hitting the ship.

I figured this made more sense than having anyone who could cross swords with Cor showing up at this point, which is where my mind first went when I heard "clashes of metal". I think this was also the point I realized my first draft of this rescue (which involved a lot more fighting on the airship) wasn't going to work, scrapped it, and started the one you see here.

Poor Cor. Under fire, can't control the ship, thinks he's been hit by a missile and then sees his traditional enemy Glauca. It's probably for the best that he has both hands full or he might have attacked him. Which is why he, in the next paragraph, is very insistent on reminding himself that he's a sort-of ally and calling him:

“Drautos!” he exclaimed, then wrenched his attention back to the instrument panel to stabilize the ‘ship as it swayed again. Blast it into ions, he was better than this. He could hold a car steady on the road while he tracked daemons’ paths through the countryside around him if he so wanted, but the controls on this vehicle were touchier than a car wheel.

Glauca’s armored gauntlet settled on his shoulder as Cor frantically worked at the controls, then he leaned over and pressed a combination of buttons in the center of the console. Cor could read Nifltunga, but these were labelled in some bewildering combination of abbreviations and acronyms and so he had been ignoring them, figuring it was better to work without them then press something wrong. Whatever Drautos did, it stabilized the ‘ship and caused the whine of the engine to roar with sudden burst of speed, which Cor frantically tried to direct up and away from the base and the courtyard full of enemies.

And now we have the roar and the second jolt! (RIP to Nyx's brain. Blame WWFL, not me) I leaned into the ambiguity of the word roar and made it the engine roaring as Drautos switches it to GTFO mode rather than, say, our lion-associated POV character because of the same thoughts about the lack of plausible enemies at this point.

Yes, Nyx was tethered, but it was hastily done with materials not really meant for someone lying on the ground. It kept him from falling out of the aircraft, at least, even if he got a little more banged up.

Poor Cor. So used to being excellent at everything and he's crabby about this one time he's not. Not that he allowed himself the other excuse for that difficulty that I pointed out here: foreign abbreviations are The Worst. Especially technical ones.

Another note about fantasy swears: I base most of the action ones on the astrals - frost it, burn it, blast it, etc. The various versions mostly get used in certain contexts - Ifrit is kind of shady (no pun intended) in current culture, for instance, so anything with burn/ash/char is pretty serious. Shiva references are kind of a mixed bag at the moment because of Niflheim associations, and before she self-destructed were very popular in Insomnia. Nowadays they're kinda old-fashioned, because she's better regarded. Blast (with the modern reference to ions! Some swears do change) refers to lightning and thus Ramuh, so it usually has to do with judgements or condemning something. In this case, Cor is judging himself and this situation very hard, and also has lightning on the brain because of Crowe's attack.

Anyway, next they Talk in a Manly and Dramatic fashion where they don't really address any of the emotional things going on, but Cor does acknowledge that Drautos didn't have to help but did anyway, even at what may be the cost of everything he worked for, and Cor appreciates it even if it probably won't change much.

Cor finally gets to check on Nyx and Drautos fills him in on the basics, including the miasma infusion, and right on cue Nyx -- who is rather messed up between getting doubly concussed in a short time period, having a fever, being infected with the scourge, and generally pretty hurt before that with only rather janky medical help that's gotten ripped open a few times -- gets to hallucinate his sister dying and Galahd burning! Fun times.

I wanted to put Nyx calling for his mom both because it fit the time he was hallucinating, but also because it's historically a thing that even Strong Tough Soldiers do. Being hurt sucks, even if you are a Main Character, and it's not a shameful thing at all to be afraid (this is my Tolkien influence, when literally everyone being afraid of the Nazgul blew my childish mind and made confronting them even more impressive rather than expected).

The hallucinations are there because that was a thing that was happening to him and I wanted some continuity with WWFL's take on Nyx vs the Scourge, and because it's a nice cover for Cor missing what Drautos is doing (his Final Message). Plus, it means Cor has a pressing need to give Nyx help ASAP, without worrying about spinal injuries and the like that might have caused him to delay using a potion otherwise, because Nyx in his hallucinations is probably doing worse damage and he clearly needs a lot of help.

So Cor does some desperate first aid, and bundles Nyx up against him so he can't hurt himself more.

He reached up and stroked along Nyx’s cheekbone, trying to wipe away some of the damning tears.

Does this help anything? No. Does it make Cor feel better to not see evidence that Nyx is infected? A little. Should Cor have been touching the scourge tears with his bare hands? Definitely not. Luckily, he is the other kind of immortal.

“I’ve got you, Nyx, we’ve got you,” he murmured, matching the cadence of his voice and his hand to the pulse of the engine as they dropped slowly, presumably toward a landing somewhere. Cor couldn’t bring himself to care where. “We’ve got you.”

Cor switches to the "we" here, because it had to happen eventually to fit the script. I like to think the "we" only partially includes Drautos, and mostly includes the rest of the glaives and guard who came to help rescue Nyx, and a reassurance that Cor didn't get captured in trying to save Nyx - a reoccurring nightmare for Nyx.

Nyx shifted against his shoulder, leaning up into Cor’s hand on his cheek. Cor could feel his lashes fluttering against his neck as he started to stir, and he let himself believe it was a good sign. “Cor?” He could barely hear it over the sounds of the ‘ship landing, but it made his heart soar higher than the airship had. Nyx was talking, and he recognized him. Surely that was a good sign? His name had never sounded so sweet.

He stroked Nyx’s cheek slowly, wiping away more tears as they fell. Were they lighter? Surely they were. He kept up his mantra, reassuring Nyx that he wasn’t alone, that he was safe. “We’ve got you.” He’d never let go.

Butterfly kisses are the best. Even if the situation is the worst.

Cor is Tired and Dramatic (as was I when I was writing this). He's going to cling to hope and what victories he has and comfort his boyfriend as best as he can and let the Drama flow. He's earned it.

Until Drautos (who had temporarily earned back his first name basis by the help he's given them and by Cor being Tired) takes his turn to be The Most Dramatic.

Thanks for the sticking with me on that long tour through my thoughts (and pity the two and a half hours it took to write it and rewrite it after tumblr ate it.)

21. What is the one fic that got away?

Probably To Hope's End, my Nyx as a Messenger AU. I want to go back and finish it. I do. But I have a lot of unfinished stories, and I think that one's furthest on the backburner for now. Partially because it's going to be long, and if I'm focusing on a long one right now it's going to be Those Who Wander.

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

I would like to get back to the time travel fic I've told you about where Regis trying to use the crystal to check out Noctis's future causes refractions, so you get past, present, and future Cor and Nyx (who were anchoring the spell) of various ages all shoved in a room together and trying to figure out what in the world is going on.

And all the chaos that spills out from that.

I also have several fics that I've posted that I want to continue or expand on if I have the time and writing energy to do so...

But you know pretty much all of my ideas already.

[platypan]

can I ask what's going on with your fic 'Strangest'? You're restructuring? So like some edits, before the story moves forward? I'm just confused, but ecxited. I'm like a dog who can tell the humans are doing something and I want to he involved but I don't know what's happening 😅

(also I really hope I'm sending this to the right person)

I AM the right person! XD I have long wanted to edit Strangest--there are some weird things I was doing like refusing to use speech tags for some reason, still ironing that out, and then just like...I knew what I meant, but rereading years later there are lines that are confusing?? I found one I had to reread like five times where Steve was doing something with a towel?? Flipping it?? Something?? and I still have no idea what, so I had him actually dry his hair XD;;

Anyway, little edits, I'm not deleting dialogue or anything people would notice, it's just something I've been meaning to do, and since I'm rereading in order to finish the dang thing, I might as well fix them when I find them!

WHILE I'M REREADING, though, and the thing people who've read it WILL notice (annnnd unfortunately the thing Ao3 is going to excitedly email everyone about), I'm breaking the chapters up into smaller pieces! It's always been hard to keep track of what happens in what chapter for me, hard to find a passage I'm thinking of to check back, and I've heard from people that the long chapters make it hard to find their spot between devices, so I'm breaking the chapters down to around 5k. That means some chapters will stay the same (chapters 1&2 were around that mark already) but since later chapters were getting looooong, they'll be broken into two (or three) smaller chapters each.

I'm rereading to finally finish/finish editing the final bits, though, and I hope to post smaller chapters of those too, so maybe they'l be faster than if I wait to post one of my novella-length chapters!

THANKS FOR BEING CURIOUS and liking my story!

[whispers-in-daydreams]

TEN Q’s

1. When are you usually online?

Mostly weekends. I’m too braindead after work to try to put out anything worthwhile. I’ll lurk here and there during the week. But I’m mainly most active during the weekends. 

2. What verses are you involved in?

none. All of my OC’s are in their own verse. I’ve never had good luck with interacting with ready made fandoms. Not for lack of trying. Just....I suppose I wasn’t what they were looking for. 

What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

Not giving me anything to go off of. Be it a one liner , ( I really can’t do those), or multiple paragraphs. If I finish reading it and have no idea what even just happened or have no feel for the other muse, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do and be genuine in my response. And it makes it hard to want to continue.  Lack of communication. It just causes all kinds of problems and assumptions and hurt feelings.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses? 

It depends on which of my muses I’m using. Some of them are drawn to light, easy going muses. Others are drawn to those who need to be saved. From whatever; themselves, a situation, life. While others yet...are drawn to all the wrong things. The dark. The mysterious. The dangerous. They crave to know what lies in the shadows, regardless of how terrifying the outcome could be. Curiosity, is their greatest downfall.   

5. Are there reoccurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

Mmmm......I suppose my reoccurring theme would be immersion. I like to create stories and worlds where you forget it’s not real. Where you feel like you’re the one in whatever scenario is happening. You can taste the bitter and sweet in the chai iced latte. You can feel the crunch of dead leaves beneath your boots. Feel the sharp prick of a paper cut and the warmth of the blood as it seeps onto your finger.  Writing is all about escape right? I want to create that escape. 

6. What are your favourite RP trends?

I don’t keep up with them enough to even know what the current trend is. 

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone? I totallllly suck at plotting. Yeah I can come up with ideas. But for me, if we talk about it, I already know what’s going to happen. There’s no mystery. No intrigue. I already know what’s coming. And that kills any interest for me. I’m a ‘wing it’ style writer. I like to just throw out a starter or ask that could create something. Roll off of whatever reply I get. I tend to reply in the moments right after reading the reply I received. it’s freshest in my mind, so that whatever my muse says or does after is natural and not rehearsed. If I try to reply to something over a span of time, the original idea gets muddled. I have to read and reread the reply , losing important details because the effect of the first read has passed. 

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

Seeing as all my muses are OC’s, I’ll shank someone who tries to duplicate my kids. 

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

Geeeeez. Like I can remember that far back lol. I remember back when there was yahoo chat groups. I’d write on there. An OC of course, because I knew I couldn’t bring a Canon the justice their original creator gave them. I suppose....since I was 15? I think that’s when I realized there were other people I could write with and didn’t laugh at me for some of the wild ideas I came up with. 

10. Is there a muse or verse you could write in, but haven’t?

Muse- no . I’m completely a-ok with not writing any canon muses. I wouldn’t be able to stay true to who they were supposed to be. My imagination would change them too much. 

Verse: ....I don’t really have a specific verse I just haaaave to interact with. Though the darker the verse the more interest I have in it. I suppose I’ve just had too much fluff 100% of the time. I need nitty gritty. ugly. No holds barred. There’s not a lot like that out there. At least...I haven’t been able to find them. 

tagged by- @s-talking , @chronicparagon

tagging: anyone who wants to do this. 

[riewritten]

I love your Erwin longfic and fics! One of the reasons why the your fic literally broke my year 2022 beautifully. When I was at work, I was always thinking about the current episode or what was going to happen in the next episode. It was a good time. Honestly, I wasn't that interested in Erwin until I came across your fic. I can honestly say that my view on him is neutral. Because I'm a Levi simp haha. I rarely read one-shot fics here and there and as far as I remember, I didn't come across many long serious fics with dynamics. This must be what some fans are talking about when they say there are very few ErwinxOc/Erwinselfship.

And even though years have passed, I rarely go and read your fic. The last time I read it was on quotev and if I remember correctly I noticed some changes between some lines there and Ao3/Tumblr. I wonder if you edited it.

Anyway, without further ado, I'd like to ask a few questions if you don't mind me asking 😭 I hope this doesn't sound like a selfish question, but are there any Erwin fics you plan to write in the future, like a drabble? And are you open to requests? Speaking of drabble, I would love to see a DITB marriage oneshot haha. On another note, I'm an ocxcanon sucker and I want to say that I'm intrigued by your Oc. Does her have a name. And information about her 😳

Anyway, take care of yourself muahh ♥️❤️🩷

first of all,

please let me know who u are so i could send hugs and kisses your way :( ♡ i dont think i could ever get over with the fact that people reread my craft. like GOD!!! do i even deserve such a praise!!!

and what a coincidence bc i also was neutral with erwin until DIB happened!! i decided to make him my muse when a friend told me she hates erwin for being a 'war criminal'. while i already symphatize with his tragic story, i wasn't knowledgeable enough to counter my friend's claims. writing DIB was also a slow but fun journey for me to transform my sympathy for erwin towards sheer empathy, all the while appreciating how well-written he is as a character ;')

i see ure a quotev reader as well! posting the story in another platform was actually my attempt to inspire myself into editing the whole thing. u see, the first versions of DIB was SO poorly written grammar wise ;( but despite the motive, i only managed to edit until chapter 17!!!! idk maybe i loathed the chapter 18 so much i couldnt get myself to reread it anymore

and oh, dont worry abt the questions! i literally squealed when u said you wanted to know more about my OC 🤩

are there any Erwin fics you plan to write in the future, like a drabble? And are you open to requests?

this might be a sad revelation, but ;( i only plan to finish all my WIPs and then i'll bid farewell to this acc at last. i'll archive it tho so readers could go back to it whenever they want. finishing the WIPs in question could take long so im not very sad abt it yet lmao. that said, my request box is closed for good.

Does [DIB OC] have a name. And information about her 😳

oh man. OH MAN. the info dump im yet to tell you 😔 hMDKSDJ i haven't really thought of anything aside the face (which i posted here) but if u want!!! i could draw it for you!!! <3

[hard--mode]

Here's the notes for everything that would happen up until the end of the story.... as far as I had it figured out. You'll notice things are a lot less fleshed out the later things go. That's a big reason why this never got finished. the longer I tried to keep the thing running, the more I realized I never had any idea what I wanted to actually DO with this story which made it pretty hard for me to keep up. it's hard to write a story you're trying to take seriously if all you really have are jokes, it turns out.

I haven't reread any of this or edited it at all so who knows what kind of notes I might have written in between things haha

P: so as i was saying about undyne-

C: who’s undyne?

Everyone freezes. Chara just walked right up to papyrus without being noticed. Paps freaks out for a sec before he pulls sans into a huddle. Chara frowns and tries to peek around.

~Montage of papyrus’s excitement and harder puzzles, death montage

~Junior jumble: its sudoku now

Chara’s doing puzzles and sees flowey spying. They shout him over

C: HEY! still following me, loser? Don’t you have anything better to do? (but they smile)

F: somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get killed too much out here

Flowey pops up closer to them

C: nah, I’m fine! I’ve got that reset power!

F: not for long considering how much you use it (mumbles. Rolls eyes??) (some depiction of chara dying a lot in the bg)

C: by the way…. In the ruins you were telling me to use it… care to tell me more about it since you seem to know so much?

F: I-... uh… well you already know the most of it. It just resets you back to your last SAVE point like nothing happened. Only beings with a powerful SOUL can use it, so monsters with their weak souls can’t.

Chara stops their puzzle work and sits to even the heights: Can flowers?

F: what the heck are you-... oh, no no no. I’m different.

C: so you have the power too.

F: No! I mean-, i used to before you came around. Yeah.

C: so you’ve done resets. (urging him on)

F: yep.

Chara waits a while: ...thats all you have to say?

F: yep

Travel scenes from here on out depict chara and flowey together

Gauntlet:

Flowey remarks that he doesn't remember a save point being before it. Chara goes along and gets paps’ bit. He does to activate it

C: wait this isn't for real right? U can't be srs!!!

P: yeah I am, this is hard mode!

Just show chara repeatedly spawning at the save and running back in with flowey watching them

Then cut to the end chara on the other side of it panting and exhausted, papyrus shocked but also beaming

P: wow you did it!! I'm so proud of u human! I didn’t think you would actually be able to get through it--- I mean- drat! Foiled again! I'll get u one of these times!

Papyrus runs off and Chara watches him with a look of wonder in their eyes.

F: don’t get too excited. his pride is cheap, he’s proud of everyone and every thing

Chara grumbles and marches forward: whatever. I don’t hear you saying you’re proud of me, so why do I have to listen to what you have to say

F: You know, you’re gonna have to fight him soon. Didn’t sans say so? What are you going to do then, die over and over until you give up or are you going to try to murder him just like you did with Toriel? :)

C: I am not! I’m gonna talk him out of it and go right past him like everyone else. Who knows! Maybe he won’t even fight me because he’s that cool. Even if he does, he’s probably a wimp anyways.

F: I wouldn’t be so sure! I bet you don’t stand a chance.

C: shut up! Quit following me if you’re gonna be this useless.

Paps fight

As papyrus carries their body to the shed to rest. Opens on their vision returning and they see their hands hanging toward the ground.

C: why didn’t you kill me? You’re stronger than everyone else, you could easily do it. Why dont you finish me off so everyone can leave or whatever it is you need me to do? Why did you hold back?

P: OH! YOU’RE AWAKE!

C: you held back…

P: OF COURSE i DID! I COULD NEVER KILL YOU, YOU’RE MY-- I HOPE I’M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS MY FRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH WE DO NEED YOUR SOUL, YOU DESERVE A FIGHTING CHANCE TO DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.

Chara is too shocked and confused by the sentiment: I don’t… I don’t understand?

P: WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT A FRIEND NOT KILLING YOU? HUMANS ARE SO STRANGE ...OH! I SEE NOW! THE REASON WHY YOU CARRY YOUR KNIFE LIKE THAT. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF US MONSTERS THAN WE COULD EVER BE OF YOU!

He sets them down in the shed on the dog bed.

P: I’M SORRY, HUMAN! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MORE WARNING IF I HAD KNOWN HOW YOU FELT.

C: then… does that mean you’re going to let me go?

P: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I ALREADY CALLED UNDYNE TO MEET ME SO SHE CAN TAKE YOU! AND YOU NEED TO REST NOW AFTER ALL THAT!

C: !! I-I don’t know who Undyne is, but I can’t do that. I’m in a hurry to get out of here.

P: HMM… IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY THEN… NO, NO YOU CAN’T! WE NEED YOUR SOUL, I CAN’T JUST LET YOU LEAVE. UNDYNE’S REALLY COOL TOO, YOU’LL LIKE HER!

C: No, I have to go.

P: AGH, WELL… I SUPPOSE IF YOU CAN GET PAST ME BEFORE I CAN CATCH YOU, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT I WON’T GO EASY ON YOU!

Cut to chara walking toward waterfall, papyrus calling after them to come back and hang out sometime. They keep walking and mutter to themself: Sorry, but I’ll get out of here before that ever happens.

WATERFALL

They see monster kid and side eye sans as they charge in, hurriedly.

Chara keeps flowey around and asks him to read the words for him. FLowey says it’s not important at all to anything they’re doing. It’s just monster history junk that means nothing if chara’s trying to leave. Chara’s like shut up cmon help me out maybe there's clues. FLowey reads some history stuff in waterfall treating it like shit they already know

F: why do you care about all this garbage anyway?

C: I dunno, I guess it just sounds familiar. Like a story I heard a long time ago.

Chara stops suddenly and checks their phone. Flowey asks what’s up

C: i thought it rang… you didn’t hear-

The phone starts ringing. Papyrus is cheerfully on the other end and they walk and talk.

He tells them about how he heard so many horrible things about humans and the surface but chara was much nicer than he ever expected. Chara asks where he heard that and he says a flower told him. Chara covers the receiver and looks around for flowey, suspicions of him raised.

Montage w monster kid and umbrella

Chara falls from undyne’s spear attack and wakes up in the trash with flowey over them.

F: hey, wake up. I can tell you’re not dead so hurry up and get moving.

Chara’s kind of bummed: she killed me four times back there. And it wasn’t even a fight. I couldn’t talk her down or… i couldn’t even talk to her, I could barely see her.

F: what, are you giving up or something? You know she can kill you as much as she wants and you aren’t gonna die.

C: I know that! I know this is just like a game where you can keep on going but… it hurts. And it’s exhausting.

F: what will you do then? Sit here in this trash and do nothing?

C: *sigh* no. I’m just feeling down in the dumps.

They smile and get up.

As they’re walking out, they hear a click and someone to tell them to “hold it”

Mad dummys behind them and she just has a gun. Pointed directly at chara. She starts on her thing about the cousin and then blook saves the day.

Chara meets up with blook again. They go to where the snail races used to be. It’s all busted and unused

C: what’s this supposed to be…?

B: oh…. this used to be a snail farm…. And this was a race course…. For snails…. But a long time ago people started to call the races “insensitive” so we had to close them…. Sorry you can’t have any fun racing snails…

C: why was it insensitive…?

B: ...i’d… rather not talk about it………..

Timeskip

C: hey flowey! What’s up with this place and snails?

F:...i wouldnt know.

montage

After waterfall where undyne says how many souls they have

C: flowey… if they have 6 human souls, that means 6 others fell down and died here, so…

F: what?

C: i just- i mean you were the first one i met-

F: no, no, no, ive never killed anyone. You’re the only human i’ve seen since i woke up

Chara relaxes: ok. So you dont know anything about them.

F: no. i heard some things from toriel, not much. It’s too late to try asking her, but she’s seen all of them. She was there at the beginning even.

C: the beginning?

F: you know…. When humans started falling down here and monsters started killing them.

Chara goes silent in thought: wait… how… long has this been going on? How old is toriel?

F: dunno

Chara after having a rough time: it’s hard, but no matter what happens i can just keep trying. I’ll make it out of this! You believe in me right, flowey?

F: no i think you should give up.

Page/chapter ends there. Next is chara going up to fight undyne.

Open on a riff on the “long ago” cutscene that chara cuts off by saying they already know this story

Undyne screams SHUT UP!!! I’m doing my HEROIC MONOLOGUE!! Whatever, I bet you haven’t heard the part about the King and Queen’s human child who died of illness and their other son who was killed by the humans when he tried to return their body to the surface?!

C: No I think I heard that one too? Why are you telling me all this anyways??

U: because this is an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE!! NYAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

Chara’s getting their ass beat and on low hp: I’ll die in a hit or two. But that’s fine because I’ll just start this over. I’ll start from… where was the last save point…

A vision of them with flowey. Their eyes go red and the flashback cuts in between shots of them running from undyne

F: I think you should give up

Ch: what… give up?? I thought you were on my side with all the telling me to keep going and-and the hanging out with me?!

F: as if you had any other choice but to keep going! We both know you don’t.

C: so you’ve just been following this whole time waiting for me to give up and die, huh?! Why, are you trying to steal my soul just like everybody else?!?

F: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re going to die! And die and die and die! You can reset as much as you want, it won’t change that! So what if I am waiting for you to give up? You’re the last thing keeping monsters trapped down here. If you give up, you’ll give everyone what they want!

C: I thought you wanted to help me?! I thought you were my friend!

F: I would never be friends with a human! You’re all nothing but killing machines!

C: I haven’t killed anyone!

F: You killed Toriel! No number of resets can change what you did! You’re a horrible, disgusting human just like all the others and everyone would be happier if you were dead!

Flowey could say something about dying down here is better than their inevitable death on the surface. Their death would at least be worth something. Mean something

Chara escapes the fight, undyne collapses, and they walk away. they tell themselves they won’t give up. They don’t need help, especially not from that dumb flower. They’ll live to spite him and everyone else who tries to kill them

Chara goes in and meets alphys and overall is p meh abt it bc bad mood. Alphys helping them through the underground makes them talk to themselves about how they dont need flowey, they can do this themself. Friends are no good.

hotland is as normal. probably figure out some indication of things not right. make the game seem broken bc they arent supposed to get so far like this

Chara meets with sans at mtt resort for food reluctantly. Lets him say his piece. After he’s done threatening to kill them chara says to his face that they really don’t like him.

Need some hubbub about them having to kill asgore to get out. Theyll be like yeah I know that (somehow)... oh but I need a plan… how will i come up with a plan..

Flowey finally appears to chara again just before they get to new home and tries to talk them out of leaving. Disparaging the surface and telling them they could live happily down here. Chara says no, it’s too hard because people are constantly hunting them down and being the last soul, no ones going to stop that. He says that he’s sorry for the way he was before

Chara smiles back, and then looks away: What you said before… about.. My inevitable death on the surface…

F: that was… don’t worry about that.

C: are you afraid of it?

F: well- yeah, it’s a dangerous place. Everyone knows that.

C: I’ve died a lot more times down here than I ever did up there.

A beat

C: you go back and forth a lot between talking about how I should stay down here because it’s better… but also if I die down here… everyone gets to go free… to the horrible, awful surface.

F: uh,, did I say all that…? I may have contradicted myself a little… I guess… in the end I just wanted an excuse for you to stay around. I really don’t want you to die.

C: so you did see me as a friend after all?

F: well…you reminded me of someone who was my friend. I wish we could have been friends.

C: Do you think… If I reset back to the beginning and did this again, if I said the right things… we could have been?

F: No… You could be as nice to me or as mean to me as you want. No matter how many times you reset, some things never change.

C: ...Did you ever… have to reset because you killed someone?

F: ……….once… and then I never reset ever again. The power to reset… makes you do bad things. It’s wrong. I had to stop because i knew… I’d make someone really upset if I kept messing around.

C: well, in that case… I guess I’ll just have to get the rest of the way out of here without any resets!

Flowey smiles: I dunno, keep one or two under your belt. You’re a pretty big klutz.

C: Thanks for helping me out of here, flowey. Even if you just did it because you were begged.

Can you imagine a more paranoid flowey who is less interested in attacking you and regaining the reset ability, but is pleased af that you have the reset ability because that means you can't die, and instead he spends the entire game trying to convince you that humanity is hopeless. That there is nothing on the surface world returning to. That it's safer, down here.

he's part of the reason why things are so much harder

he's the one that starts the rumors about the dangers of teh surface world

there's a definite sense of paranoia all across the board

When they approach new home, flowey appears one last time and grabs chara by the hand, telling them not to go. They can live in the underground, they’ve made a lot of friends here. Chara says that they have to go, they’ll find a way to get out without killing asgore. Flowey says that he tried to stop them, this is as far as he’ll go. This is goodbye. They bid their farewells and chara goes along, but flowey secretly follows them, much less detectable than ever before. It’s revealed when he’s hiding with the flowers.

Chara walks up to new home, regarding it as a vaguely familiar sight. They walk down the many halls knowing exactly where to go. The monsters speak as they go through the motions. They find a cookbook in the kitchen with a page for snail pie missing. Chara mumbles about already knowing the story and that they should all shut up. They walk more quickly to stay ahead of them. Then one mentions the snail pie and chara stops dead in their tracks. No that’s not how it happened- they stop, and take back off.

They are stopped by sans in the judgement hall, glaring at him.

S: well I had a whole speech to give ya, but you look like you’re in a hurry. You’re a weird kid, but you’re fine. The king’s up ahead.

OTHER alternative: chara realizes something’s wrong and runs back to get everyone, probably threatening to kill asgore to convince them to come quickly. Sans is avoided due to the mob approaching behind them “I heard the word that you’re on your way to kill the king.” c: are you here to stop me? “Nah. But you’d better have a good plan to back yourself up, kid. King’s up ahead”

They run up to asgore, no nonsense. Some time is taken to progress things. As they leave the throne room, flowey watches from the flowers, chara looks back to confirm he’s there.

Asgore draws up the souls, the fight is about to engage, before he can smash “MERCY” chara yells: ASRIEL. Get the souls.

Everything stops. Flowey is behind them, stunned and confused. Chara turns and asks him what he’s waiting for. Hurry up and take the souls before everyone else gets here. Nearly every last monster is coming, if he can become godlike and absorb them, it will be enough strength to break the barrier.

Flowey is confused, how do they know that? Chara tells him he did it before. Doesn’t he remember? Doesn’t he remember them?

Either flowey does it and something happens, or flowey waits too long and chaos erupts which gets them killed, and then chara and flowey have to meet up and workshop.

Final fight:

He probably says some shit about frisk and how he cant lose frisk again, chara must insist that theyre not frisk. When they say their name is chara, he hesitates for only a moment. Finally, when chara’s pinned and about to seriously die…

C: you remember it now too, don’t you? It took me a while, I couldn’t remember a thing until i started hearing your name around. You’re an all powerful god now, you should be able to remember it all better than me

A: shut up.

C: would frisk want us to fight like this?! Would frisk want you to kill your own sibling?!

A: c-.... You’re… you’re really chara?

He lets them go

They reach the conclusion that frisk messed with everything and put them here with no memories so they could do something frisk could never do. Frisk thinks they deserve to live, no matter how much the two may disagree. They have to play along. Asriel is a god and can use his powers to break the barrier and bring EVERYONE back to life so they can live together happily.

go to final fight and everyones already there, things are very confused, flowey takes the souls and things glitch out (screen phases between bosses) and chara realizes this isnt how things are supposed to be, tells asriel theyre sorry for their baggage but he doesnt understand bc he isnt theirs, and then they gotta find frisk somehow

OR... they realize things in the speech and don't go to fight asgore bc theyre finding flowey... they feign fighting asgore and then suddenly tell flowey to take the souls("Asriel! get the souls!" and thats the first time they call him by name)...? i like that a bit better. they start going on about crazy shit that makes roided out flowey kind of lose it at them which leads to them apologizing to their own asriel but then realizing they need to find frisk

but HOW do they find frisk

The end shows chara asriel and frisk hugging eachother, all alive and well. Then the two are “processing…” and remember that oh, theyve done some dark messed up stuff.

[doumekiss]

How to read more

So last year I read a total of 188 books, and sometimes people here ask me how I read so much and what they can do to read more, so I wrote this post with a few tips of things I do that work for me. A lot of it will probably be really obvious but I thought it better to cover all my bases now that I'm finally writing this post. 

- Experiment with different formats of reading like ebooks and audiobooks. I think more than ⅓ of the books I've read last year were audiobooks, I usually listen to them when I walk around my neighborhood, or do the dishes, or knit or play games on my phone. Also makes me less guilty about my lack of productivity, like yes I spent 17 hours on my day off playing stardew valley on my phone, but also I finished a book while doing this so yay? One more thing : usually I find that most audiobooks are narrated too slowly for my taste, so increasing the speed of the player makes the hearing experience much more pleasant, usually between 1.2 or 1.5 depending on the narrator. 

- Reading should be a joyful thing.There is nothing wrong with quitting a boring book. We all have a limited amount of time on this planet, there is too little time for too many books. Don't finish things that bore you and make what is supposed to be a pleasurable hobby into an annoying task.  Some books take a while to get good, but usually if a book doesn't  win me over around page 50-70 I find better letting go and find something else. 

- There is nothing wrong with postponing a particular reading for later. I know sometimes a book has merit and you might feel bad about stopping your reading, but maybe it's just not the right time to read that particular book. It might ruin a pleasant reading experience by trying to force it. Leave it for your older self who might appreciate it better than you. 

- I usually like to reserve forty minutes to  one hour every day just to read a physical book, I find this also does a lot of good to my mental health, to unplug for one hour and just read. I think this works better when the house is quiet, for me it's usually  around 8 at night after I give my grandmother dinner and put her to sleep or when I take my cats to play in the garden. 

- If you are like me some days you just get too tired for new stories, new characters, like there are already too many narratives in your brain. Usually in these situations rereading something you like is the best alternative. There is so much comfort in rereading something you loved in the past and often you notice things that passed you by the first time(s). 

- About finding what to read next. Goodreads as a site has many issues both in the administration and in the user base, however I do find it worthwhile to find people with tastes similar to yours and follow them, and pay attention to books they give a high rating.  Also checking others stuff that authors you like recommend. 

- About buying books. Today is very easy to find stuff free online. However sometimes if you want a particular book the only way to read is to buy it. If you are like me you probably don't have that much money so to make sure I'm making a good purchase I usually read the first chapter and evaluate if it's worth to go on, most sites usually have samples and in my experience book sellers don't mind if you just sit on a conner and read for a bit, when I was a kid and a young teen I used to get really paranoid that they were going to scold me for reading without buying, but that of course never happened because, they want your money, they are not going to be rude to you. Just be considered and make sure your hands are clean and treat the book gently before buying it. 

- Also second hand bookstores and libraries are great ways of getting more books, in my experience it's really worthwhile to mention to librarians books that you would really like to read because sometimes they order and tell you about it when the books arrive. 

- About motivating yourself to read more, I like to make big lists of books I would like to read in the following year, month or whatever and post on this site called listchallenges, for a certain type of person it really is satisfying to check one more item and in trying to beat whoever had the highest score. 

- Try different stuff, I know people that only read ya or only read sci-fi and while there is nothing wrong with really liking a genre and only reading stuff of a certain style, what I see happening quite often is that those people end up getting tired of reading. Try reading about stuff you've never heard before, periods of history or fields of science you know nothing about, romance novels, poetry, classic novels, thrillers. Also don't hesitate to go read things that some people don't consider worthwhile or real literature like children's books, celebrity biographies, mangas, danmei novels, let whatever sparks your interest be your guide and don't care what lit snobs will think. 

- I know people that prefer to just read one book at time, and it works very well for them. But for me I tend to readbetween 5 to 10 books at the same time and go for whatever I'm in the mood for that day in my reading hour. 

- And always have a book in your bag. 

[akaashigiri]

Sleepy Jaegers

summary: eren and y/n are at a gathering at armin’s place, and their 2 year old is exhausted. eren is equally as exhausted.

pairing: dad!eren jaeger x fem!reader

word count: 1.69k

warnings: none, fluffff

a/n: sigh my baby fever possessed me to write this 💔 might make armin a father as well if people end up liking this one (i will anyway) 😋

These gatherings were almost like a ritual to the group.

There wasn’t ever a specific place they met, they would always gather in different places, wether it’d be the beach, a park, or at one of their homes. It didn’t matter where it took place, just as long as everyone was there. Everyone was obligated to come.

So of course that includes the littlest Jaeger.

It was mid September, and although the weather wasn’t bad at all, some didn’t really feel like going out to public places like the local park, so the group decided on Armin’s new place, since Sasha and Annie still have yet to see it (their homes are farther from the rest)

They were all gathered in the spacious living room; Jean and Sasha on the long couch, while Mikasa and Armin sat on the smaller one. Historia and Ymir shared the beige-colored chair in the corner of the room, while Annie sat on one of the kitchen stools as she watched Y/N and Connie do the dishes (Armin insisted, but the two almost threatened him if he were to touch a dish).

As soon as Eren walked in, he all but restricted anyone from sitting on the big beige reclining sofa, claiming that he deserved it for helping Armin pick it out. Eren was grateful for going to Ikea that day with Armin to pick out the sofa he was now slouched on, recliner out and all. It was now his favorite spot in the whole house (besides the kitchen, since he loved playing around with the smart refrigerator).

As Y/N passed another dish for Connie to rinse and dry, she suddenly felt a tug on her pants, looking down to meet the tired eyes of her daughter.

She was quick to rinse and dry her hands to pick her up, giving all of her attention to the little girl. “Aw, what’s wrong Mimi? Everything alright?” She asked, already noticing the fatigue on her face.

She only snuggled into her mother’s neck, giving her the simple response of, “Tired.” Her vocabulary was fairly short, due to the fact that she was only 2 and learned her words from the ones around her (Eren got in big trouble the day Y/N heard the word ‘shit’ come out of her daughter’s mouth).

Y/N wasn’t surprised she got tired easily today, since Jean gave her more candy then Y/N would usually allow. And with the way her, Ymir, and Mikasa were running around in the yard earlier today, Y/N already saw this coming.

“You’re tired?” she asked again, earning a nod from the crook of her neck. “Okay, mommy’s almost done. Go sit next to daddy until I finish, okay?” She tells her, moving her head back to face her daughter again. Myra nodded, allowing her mother to put her down.

Walking tiredly, Myra slowly moved through the kitchen and made her way to the living room, spotting her father laidback in the corner of the room, limbs sprawled out on the sofa.

Eren wasn’t sure if it was the father instincts, but he was the first to notice her presence in the room, stopping the ghost story Jean swears is real to bring his full attention to his daughter.

“Mimi’s come to save us, everyone!” Eren exclaims, throwing jazz hands up as everyone joined and cheered her on for simply walking in. Jean didn’t like what Eren was implying, but clapped nonetheless.

“You’re not funny. Aren’t dads supposed to tell good jokes?” He questioned, attempting to steal a fry from Sasha’s plate, but failing miserably as she only swats his hand away.

“No Jean, I think it’s the other way around, they’re supposed to be corny.” Armin butts in, watching with a smile as Myra finally starts walking towards her father.

Eren could already see the fatigue on her face, holding his arms out for her once she got a little closer. “What’s up Mimi, you tired?” Eren questioned, laughing as she instead of answering, simply lifted her arms up for him to take her.

She responds with a nod, her hair falling over her face as she was lifted onto his lap. As soon as she was situated, she wasted no time in making herself comfortable, wiggling out of her dad’s grasp and laying her stomach down on his, her head right above where his heart was.

“Nevermind.” he sighs, making the whole room burst out into laughter. This only made Myra whine, the loudness distrupting her attempt at sleeping. “Sorry Myra!” Sasha whispered, finally giving a fry to Jean afterwards.

“I wonder what got her so tired.” Annie questions, making Jean sink into the couch out of guilt as Eren sends him an irritated glance.

“Jean went and gave her a sugar rush before we got here. It was absolute hell.” Eren’s eyes furrow in frustration as he remembers earlier today and how hard it was for him to catch a nap without his energetic 2 year old jumping all over him. All while Jean was happily eating lunch with his wife.

“Okay, but I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to have that much candy! Kids eat candy like crazy, right?” He attempts to defend himself, looking around the room for support, only to be met with silence.

“Yeah, thing is she’s not a kid! She’s a toddler! Dumbass.” he mumbles the last part, hoping that Y/N somehow wouldn’t hear. But she always found a way how.

“Can someone please slap Eren for me?” She yells from the kitchen. “Stop cursing in front of Myra!”

Eren has no time to defend himself as volunteers step up to do what their friend asked, but Mikasa was the quickest, and Eren was even quicker. He swiftly grabs Myra’s frog blanket from the bag sat beside him and hids his face in it, saving it from the harsh blow of Mikasa’s hand.

“You’re lucky I didn’t miss completely, I just don’t wanna wake Myra.” she confesses, walking back to her seat.

“God, I cant believe we almost named her after you.” Eren groaned, blanket still clutched in hand.

“Mimi’s close enough for me.” She smiles, noticing the way Myra starts to squirm a bit. “Throw the blanket over her, I think she’s cold.” She suggests, bringing Eren’s attention back to the little girl on his chest.

Eren is quick to unravel the rather big blanket from his grasp and take it in both hands to bring it in the air, watching it fall perfectly onto her small figure. The blanket basically covered his whole torso, the end tickling his neck a bit.

“Thanks again for the blanket, Historia. She loves it so much, a little too much.” he says, feeling his daughter move under the blanket so that her little arms were wrapped around his torso as far as she could go. “She won’t use the one I got her anymore.” he says with a slight frown.

The group laughs again, but quietly this time, not wanting the little girl to possibly wake up in a fit.

“I wouldn’t blame her, to be honest.” Jean shrugs, giving Eren a knowing glance, as well as a sly smirk. He knows how mad Y/N would get if he were to disobey her, especially a few minutes after she scolded him. Since Y/N was only a few feet away, Eren aggresively sticks his middle finger up to the man. It’s not like Myra could see through the blanket anyway.

“Are you gonna finish your ghost story, Jean?” Annie asked, although she didn’t believe a word. She just wants to see him make a fool out of himself.

Jeans eyes light up, snapping his fingers together as he sits upstraight again, ready to go into full detail once again. “Right! Okay, okay, so right when I went to shave my beard...”

Eren let’s Jean’s apparent ghost encounter story fade in the background, focusing on the shallow breaths coming from his daughter. He felt himself getting a little drowsy himself, as if her sleepiness was seeping into him.

He doesn’t waste time lifting the blanket a bit to wrap a protective arm around her small figure under it, adjusting his posture on the sofa and crossing his ankles over one another. His let his neck sink into the back of the couch, letting his head go as well so he facing the ceiling. With the warmth of the blanket and the little girl under it, he couldn’t help but close his drowsy eyes as well, finally giving in.

A few minutes pass and Jean is done telling his story, but of course, no one believes him. All except Historia. “Thank you, Historia! See I’m telling the truth. Morons.” Jean rolls his eyes at the way Armin and Sasha curl up as they laughed, Mikasa and Annie trying their best to hold in theirs.

Jean soon notices the person who would’ve regurlarly had the most to say was being awfully quiet. Getting ready to scold him for not listening, Jean is met with a site he has to admit, is the cutest thing he’s seen all year.

Eren was deep in slumber, soft snores coming from him and the little girl that rested as peacefully as he did on top of him. The print of his arm around her could be seen through the green blanket, as well as both of their steady breaths. They looked so comfortable, it would be a pain for them to get up soon, which they would have to eventually.

“Awww, they’re adorable!!” Historia exclaims from the other side of the room, which seemed to catch Y/N’s attention all the way from the kitchen.

“What’s happening? Is something cute happening? Someone take pictures!” She exclaimed, wanting to abandon the plates and take them herself, but thinks that would be rather rude to leave poor connie alone.

“On it!” Sasha and Jean say in unison. Both are quick to pull out their phones, Jean getting the more unappealing angles, while Sasha actually put some effort into it and snapped a few photos.

These were being sent to every single person on her contact list.

this was written at like 2 am sorry if there are typos i swear i reread 💔

also i’m currently working on a mob fic idk if ppl still like those but i most definitely do so watch out for that one :p

hope y’all liked this one lol

-aysha <3

[anthonyjlockwood]

4, 10, 23, 29, 31, 37 (im on my computer so imagine the 2 heart emoji)

4 - How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Umm… that one Lukebobby angst thing, Doordash, the thing with Emi… I think three? I wish I had more though, I kind of want to work on something new but I don’t have any ideas and prompt lists never really work for me. 

But Doordash is inspired by me ordering a pizza on there one night, and them sending me someone else’s order. So I was like, that would be such a funny fanfic… and then I started thinking about what sort of pizzas Alex and Willie would order and it became a Willex fic, and then I wrote some words for it but I never figured out how to do the ending? So it’s kind of just sitting there. But I would like to finish it someday! 

10 - Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Any of the pretty short, no plot no dialogue, thought ramble projection ones lol. Life Sucks and Then – I know I always use that one for this question but it honestly wrote itself. 

i’m wide awake, i’m wide awake (but i’m in pain) was another one like that, I wrote it randomly one morning and it took me like, half an hour probably? 

and, you took me by surprise and left me falling like rain was honestly pretty easy to write even though it’s long. i don’t think i was expecting to be able to write so much in such a short period of time lol. 

23 - If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

I don’t think I ever would, but stuck in my head (with nothing left) could absolutely be revised and expanded on, if I wanted to put the work in. 

29- If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I mean, part of what’s so great about every other fic on Earth is that they’re not written by me 😂 And I would never really want to jump into another author’s universe and try to write because, for me at least, my writing comes from a personal place and I know that no one else would really be able to write it the way I would, or get it across the same way I would, because they don’t have my life experiences. I think every author brings something uniquely theirs to their writing, even if it’s fanfic, which is something that’s so amazing about it. Because no story would have turned out the way it did if that exact person hadn’t written it. So I’m not sure I’d really want to change that? 

But I’ve been getting back into reading (and rereading) HSMTMTS fics recently, because the show’s back on now, and one of the ones I just started reading again is “designed for disaster” by @nini-ricky. I would loveeee a sequel to that one (although I would never try to write it myself lol). Another one is @cadetcama’s "Home's A Lie (But We Don't Have To Be" from her Meals & Feels series, technically that story already has a sequel, and it doesn’t need another one, but also it absolutely needs another one 😂 

For JATP, though, I’ve literally been begging @flynn-taylor for months to write a sequel to her Troped fic. Again, I’d never do it, because I could never do it as well as she could, but I will die on the hill that it needs to be continued lol. 

31- Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I’m usually really strict with canon compliance in my writing. Because for me, fanfic is more of a homage to the original work, taking what I noticed about it, resonated with in it, and enjoyed and expanding on it. Trying to form even more relatability between myself and the characters (and, I guess, anyone else reading who might be going through similar stuff as me or feel similar ways). Because the best part about art is how it can bring everyone together through shared experience and feelings, and make people feel less alone. And in JATP, there were a lot of things that resonated with me about loss and grief and using art to try to get back to the person you used to be before. 

37- Talk about your current wips.

I’ll admit, finding time and inspiration to write lately has been really hard. Nothing I’ve been working on for the past few months has seemed appealing to me anymore, and it still exists but it’s mostly scrapped, I guess? The main thing I was working on was a Willex fic where they meet because their Doordash pizza orders got mixed up. And it’s fun, I’d love to finish it one day, but it’s too… happy? It’s not the sort of thing I usually write so it’s hard to do, especially now that I’ve let it sit for a long time. 

I’m not considering this a WIP yet, because it doesn’t have words, but @tillstarscollided and I have been talking about another Bobby angst fic we might want to try to collab on? So we’ll see if that happens, I think it would be really fun! Writing with someone else is great because it gives me the sense of friendship and community I actually started writing fic for in the first place!

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Genre: AU 

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: There’s a new Spider person in town and it’s not Parker.

A/N: This is a continuation of the Parker story that I posted last year. I’m sorry to everyone who reads and likes my ff, I’m very slow when it comes to writing. I’ve been feeling down for a while and now I’ve decided to try and work on stories that I was already in the process of writing. So hopeful I’ll do better in time. Also I don’t live in NY so streets and stuff might not always be correct. Also I can’t spell half the time and spell check doesn’t always catch things and sometimes I miss words for a sentence to make sense, I never reread my writing I just didn’t in school and so I don’t really do it now, SORRY!!

You’ve reached the phone number of (Y/n) (L/n) please leave a message at the tone of the beep...

Peter groaned as he tried to reach you for the third time wondering when you will be home since you had to work on a chemistry project with him. Even though you weren’t the best in the science area you said you didn’t want Peter to do all the work on his own. You told him to come to your house around 4, but it was now 6:30 and he didn’t know when you would be home. Your aunt allowed him to stay in your room until you came back, he thought it was a little weird she didn’t really seem that worried about where you were.

As Peter looked around your room, he realized that he didn’t know that much about you. All he knows is that you transferred from a different state to New York to live with some distant relative in 8th grade. The both of you would have small encounters with just a small smile here or a quiet ‘hi’ there if you were sitting next to each other.

Then out of the blue one day during sophomore year, you just sat down at the same table as him during study hall. 

---

Peter was working on his calculus homework having not finished the night before, having to focus on his chemistry homework and then having a tiny project for World History, which he had to do all by himself because no one else chose to help him out. He didn’t stress himself too much about the homework, his brain worked fast enough to understand the problems plus his class was after lunch and if he didn’t finish now he’ll just finish then. He was brought out of his thoughts of fast working math problems and numbers, when a loud thud sounded through the library and even louder when it was placed in front of him at his table. He heard the librarian shush the person from her desk.

“Sorry” the person responsible replied back loud enough for only Peter to hear.

Peter looked up to come face to face with the culprit. They looked disheveled, their hair a bit of a mess, their shirt had a couple of stains in different colors on the front. They just had a simple jean jacket covering them from the slight autumn breeze of Queens, New York. You seemed to have noticed Peter’s gaze on your face having turned towards him with a bashful expression on your face.

“Sorry, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.” you said quietly.

“No problem” Peter said with a light smile on his lips.

“I’m (Y/n)” you outstretched your hand for a shake.

“Peter” he said, grabbing your outstretched hand.

---

7:13pm

‘There seems to be no more crime happening at the moment’

“Okay, well I guess it’s time for me to head home then. At least I have far less bruises than normal so it’s not gonna be a big deal when I get home, I don’t want to have to sit through another lecture.” you rolled your eyes behind the mask on your face covering your features. 

‘You seem to have missed a phone call, you have one voicemail from a Peter Parker’

“Hey (Y/n)...um I’m at your house right now waiting for you so we can work on our project. I’ve been here for about two hours now and it's getting late so I’m probably gonna end up leaving since my aunt is probably waiting for me to get home. I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow at school. Okay, bye (Y/n).”

“Crap! I forgot about the project, Peter’s probably upset with me.” you sighed and decided to call Peter.

Nothing. You called again. Nothing. Again and again. Nothing. You tried five times and he never answered, a part of you thinks he’s probably just ignoring you for standing him up. The other part worries that he could be in trouble right now. It is Queens.

“Hey Karen can you do another sweep of the city? Any type of crimes or assaults happening at the moment?” worry lacing your voice hoping nothing is or happened to Peter, sweet Peter.

‘There is no crime at the moment (Y/n)’

“Can you search for Peter Parker? Can you give me his current location?” you ask with a slight shake to your questions.

‘Peter Parker is currently on the streets of 7th and Jefferson ave’

He’s not that far away from me you thought to yourself with a sigh.

You were only a few buildings away from Peter so you lept from rooftop to rooftop, sitting nicely on top of an apartment building's roof looking down onto the passerbyers, everyone in their own world and minding their business. As you were watching everyone walk by you kept your eyes open for Peter, even though he did look like every normal teenage boy with brown curly hair from atop, he did have little charms on his backpack; for one being a Ironman POP! Figure keychain for the opening of the big pocket.

---

You were walking down the halls of Midtown trying to find your locker on the first day of sophomore year. It was kinda difficult with everyone walking to and fro not minding you any time or stepping out of the way just a little.

‘Rude’

Just as you found your locker someone ran into you causing you to drop the notebooks and textbooks out of your arms, dropping to the floor with a loud thud. You just scuffed yourself and chose to open your locker first so you don’t have to deal with the weight in your arms. After trying your combination for a third time and nothing happening, you just leaned your head against the metal doors and just sighed out through your nose to try and keep yourself calm and not cause tears or your fist to hit the metal. 

“Um...sorry to bother you, but do you need help?” Someone beside you asked timidly and quietly.

You looked up from the floor being face to face with someone who was kneeling beside you on the ground stacking some of your textbooks onto each other. He was a boy around your age with a delicate sprinkle of freckles dotting his face. He had glasses on the bridge of his nose and eyes that looked to be brown colored, but it wasn’t his eye color it was the way his eyes looked at you that drew you in a bit. He looked a bit like a deer in headlights mixed with puppy dog eyes that were just looking into yours with some concern and maybe embarrassment coming in since you were taking a long time to answer him and was just staring at a stranger.

You blinked out of your stupor and smiled at him and asked if he could try and place your locker combination for you. Because if you tried one more time and it didn’t work you might actually punch it. The boy smiled at you and was able to open your locker for you and helped hold half the textbooks.

“Thank you for helping me, since everyone else chooses to be rude.” You grumbled out the last bit.

The boy just smiled at you and said it was no problem and then he walked away probably to meet up with his friend.

---

7:35pm

 You still haven’t seen Peter walking anywhere and you were just about to give up and head home when Karen alerted you to a crime in progress.

‘There is a mugging in progress two blocks from here in an alley behind a deli’

You rushed over to the position that Karen sent you and hoped that it wasn’t Peter. Well, it was Peter sadly who was on the ground and shaking with his backpack ripped open and the contents spilling out. The thug was pointing a knife at Peter and yelling at him for money.

Deciding that now was the time to intervene you shot a web to the thugs knife and yanked it out of his grasp.

“You know you shouldn’t be pointing sharp objects at people, what would your grandma have to say?”

Honestly you had to roll your eyes a bit, really (y/n)? His grandma?

You jumped down from the balcony of an apartment and landed in front of Peter blocking him from view. You rose to your full height and placed your hands on your hips, cocking to the right a bit. You turned your head to look at Peter making sure he was okay and safe for the moment, he wasn’t shaking anymore which was good, but he now was just staring wide eyed at you.

“Are you okay?” You asked him

He just nodded his head then looked to your left and pointed a finger, presumably at the thug. When your spider senses went off you just lifted both hands and grasped the thug's arm and flipped him over onto his back making him gasp for air. You then webbed him up to the balcony and had Karen call the cops.

When you were done you walked back over to Peter and knelt down to help grab his stuff off the ground and place them back into his backpack. You then held out your hand to help lift Peter off the ground. When Peter placed his hand in your grasp you might have pulled a little more than you meant causing Peter to collide with your chest and moving your arm to his waist making sure he was stable.

You both stood still in the position for a few seconds before breaking apart chuckling awkwardly. Peter rubbed his neck and you just held your hands behind your back. The silence was starting to become suffocating, so you were about to ask Peter if he wanted a ride home, but he broke the silence first.

“Thank you for what you did earlier.” Peter said quietly

“Eh, it’s no problem.” You shrugged off

You both still stood there not knowing what else to say at the moment. So Peter just took that as a cue to leave since he started to walk out the alley. That prompted you to remember what you were thinking earlier.

“Hey!” You called out to Peter

He stopped in his spot and turned around facing you.

“Would you like a ride? Or even a walking companion?”

Peter just smiled at you showing that the requests weren’t weird to him so you started to walk towards him.

“I could use a walking companion. I would take the ride suggestion, but I’m pretty sure you mean swinging on webs about 15ft or more in the sky away from the ground and I already have a bad fear of heights.” Peter rambled out

You just chuckled to yourself and walked next to him prompting the both of you to walk in silence for a while.

“So what were you doing walking by yourself? It’s never a good idea to be by yourself, especially if you don’t have some type of weapon.” You questioned

Peter didn’t answer right away so you turned to look at him and he was looking at the ground with a slight pout to his mouth. You already know he’s gonna say it was because you never showed up at your own house.

“Well I was supposed to work on a school project with a classmate at her house, but she never showed up for some reason and I was there for about three hours and I told my aunt and uncle I would be home around 8 so I just decided to leave hoping to make it home before it was really dark out. Then I was cleaning my glasses and they dropped, so I had to pull a Velma from Scooby-Doo and look for my glasses. I think the thug was hiding behind the trash or something.” Peter spoke while still looking towards the ground.

You could tell that you not showing up really hurt him, he probably thought you were just using him for a good grade and lied or something.

“Looks like I’ll be doing the project by myself like usual. I just thought that I made a friend, especially for that class since my friend Ned doesn’t share it with me.”

“Well I’m sure she didn’t bail on purpose. Maybe something she accidentally forgot.” You tried to save yourself from looking bad in Peter’s eyes.

Peter just shrugged his shoulders and the conversation ended since apparently you ended up outside of Peter’s apartment. You both turned to each, having yet another awkward silence between the both of you. You took the silence to look at Peter’s features which looked softened in the moonlight, but also harsh with the fluorescent lighting of street lamps. As you were getting lost in Peter’s details Karen rang in your ears telling you that your aunt wants you home in the next 20 minutes or you’re grounded.

“Um well Peter I got to leave, but I hope you have a good evening.” and then you salute in a flirty way at least you hope it came off like that.

As you swung off into the night, heading home to finally relax; Peter was eating dinner with his family and as he was slowly chewing his chow mein he realized what was bugging him for the past 15 minutes, he never gave you his name. He was both curious and a bit worried, worried that you might have been following for a while before tonight and curious because if you weren’t a stalker which he decided to rule out since you have to protect Queens; that means you probably know him from somewhere else. And Peter was going to find out where.

[anondudeao3]

Fic Recs!

Since I'm on hiatus, I've finally had time to do some reading, and I thought I'd give some fic recommendations, since I won't be posting for quite a while. These are my absolute favourites!

(I'm splitting this into two posts — one for JayDick and one for JayTim — because now that I'm finished with the first half it's quite long)

JayDick

A Love Triangle With The Same Person

By: Chrystie, kate882

Word Count: 10,031

Summary: Dick might have a bit of a thing for Jason, one of Red Hood's criminal underlings. But he's also already a little in love with Red Hood.

→ Identity porn! Who doesn't love identity porn? Very cute and sweet.

Everything I Know

By: epistemology

Word Count: 12,360

Summary: Red Hood is a little bit in love with his partner, Nightwing, who has a huge crush on Jason Todd, the hot bookstore owner, who is actually the Red Hood, who is too busy being in love to notice Dick Grayson, who's actually Nightwing.

Jason and Dick fall in love with the wrong versions of each other, and things become complicated fast.

→ More identity porn, but this one is a lot more sort of missed connections, plus it has bookshop owner Jay who was never taken in by Bruce! It really has you begging SOMETHING to happen to somehow make them see that THEY ARE EACH OTHER, THEY ARE THE ONES THEY LIKE. AHHHH IT'S THE SAME PERSON. And when it finally does happen, it's so sweet and satisfying. (I recommend checking out their other fics too! Lots of sweetness.)

Lie To Me, Darling

By: Chrystie, kate882

Word Count: 19,214

Summary: Officer Dick Grayson is undercover in the infamous Red Hood's gang trying to track down the man behind the helmet. With his former partner killed for being found out, there's a new guy in the gang to take his place. Jason doesn't seem like the average new gang recruit, and Dick may be getting more than he bargained for trying to get close to him.

→ Okay, ngl I JUST now noticed that this one is by the same people as the first one, and I specifically didn't want to put multiple fics by the same people (just say I recommend checking out their other stuff, but not rec separately), but it's too late now and I don't have a 7th JayDick fic to recc that isn't also an author repeat, and I don't want it to be uneven.

But ANYWAY. This one will fuck you up, I can't lie. Unhappy ending, but if you can brave that, ohhh it's so good. It's so damn sweet whilst the good times last, even though you know it's only temporary and it's all going to go to hell at some point... man. It hurts. But it hurts so good. It's beautiful, and I personally think it's worth the pain.

Two Birds on a Wire

By: empires, pentapus

Word Count: 20,565

Summary: Dick asks Jason for help on a case. Jason should have never agreed.

→ It's probably laughable that I'm reccing this, since pentapus is one of the authors and their art is like huge in the JayDick fandom, and the fic has more than 22.5k views, which seems to be quite a lot as far as JayDick fics go. But in the event that you haven't read it yet... This is actually the very first JayDick fic I EVER read, it introduced me to the ship, and I just reread it and it's still just as amazing, what a winner to start out with!

The dynamic between Jay and Dick, the way Dick gets so into his undercover role, Jay's emotional turmoil, the action — it's all just absolute chef's kiss! It's so hard to write action well, and these two made this fic so engaging!

All Soulmates Final, No Refunds

By: empires, salvadore

Word Count: 38,900

Summary: Mystic Waters Grande Hotel sells itself as a luxury soulmate retreat with all manner of couple’s activities. The cost is high, and all is not as it appears on the hotel’s grounds. Dick and Jason go undercover as newlywed soulmates to find out what’s behind the rash of missing persons. And dig up old feelings in the process.

→ (Since empires was collaborating with two different people of the different fics, I don't count that as a repeat).

Well firstly, this is a rare Batman!Dick JayDick! And secondly, yes, one of the ubiquitous soulmate AUs. But with some very interesting twists! Also, like TBOAW above, the action in this is amazing, and absolutely had me on the edge of my seat. Similarly, their undercover personas were lots of fun, and it was very fun to see them push each other further and further with them.

Secrets of the Sea

By: ParzivalHallows

Word Count: 42,711

Summary: Being a merperson was dangerous enough, but being a merperson captured by pirates? That's got to be one of the worst fates for a merman. Merman Dick Grayson is captured by a slave ship, where he meets Jason Todd, who's a slave on that ship. Together, the two plan an escape. However, they need to put aside their odds first, which is very difficult for the two stubborn men.

→ I have to give you fair warning first, this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2017, so I don't think it's ever going to be finished (but it can't hurt to leave a nice comment!) BUT WAIT, DON'T SCROLL YET, hear me out. It's really good, okay. You do need to mind the warning tags because there is major character death (not Jay or Dick though, and since it's not complete I'm kind of choosing to believe that they're not really dead and later in the story it actually turns out that they managed to survive).

There are a lot of grim things in this story, it's really about survival, but the worldbuilding is fucking phenomenal, and the author drew me right in. The descriptions and the action and emotion, the unexpected magic that they have to figure out? It's all so cool and well done.

Steady On Forward

By: JayseHasNoGrace

Word Count: 96,287

Summary: Dick Grayson's life has never been easy, but he'd like to think it's been going better lately. He's been operating mainly out of Gotham again for almost a year, and has been in a steady relationship for just over. He knows where he stands with crime-fighting, and the family is all on pretty good terms, considering.

Things are really going pretty well.

Unfortunately, the balance doesn't last long, and old horrors from Dick's past end up dredged up alongside new ones.

This is a story about love and family, but equally so about trauma and healing from it. Please heed the warnings in the preface.

→ Alright, the final JayDick rec, the longest, and the darkest. But wait, again, don't scroll! It's also by far the most hopeful AND FLUFFY. Now, the author is NOT fucking around about heeding those warnings, there's a shitload of them and it's really heavy, hard shit. Do not get me wrong, this fic is going to HURT you. But by the end, it's going to have felt so cathartic, and you're going so feel soft and hopeful and whole. I don't know how they did it, but it's SUCH an emotional rollercoaster. Another commenter on AO3 (mach5plus1) said it better than I could:

I gave this fic my whole heart, it took it, smiled and said “awwww, I’ll take care of it!“

Then started putting pressure on it and I told it “ouch, that hurts”

The fic kept smiling and put more pressure until a piece broke off (last chapter)

and then another (this chapter)

The fic keeps doing it until my heart is shattered into pieces and it’s standing over each shard with a frown saying “oops” (the upcoming chapters)

Then, after finding each piece again and picking them up, the fic will slowly push each piece back into place.

By the end it’ll give my heart back a little different, but somehow better than it was when I gave it away.

It will crush your heart, but it will lovingly patch it back together by the end, I promise. If you can read it without getting triggered, I thought everything was well handled, and it's so worth it. (I recommend checking out their other JayDick fic too, they only have one, but it's a fluffy romcom, so if you need a break after this one, that's there!)

[lumosandnoxwriting]

Show Not Tell - Harry Potter

Title:  Show, Not Tell Pairing: Harry Potter x fem!reader Summary: The four times Harry told the reader how he felt about them without quite saying it and the one time he finally did A/N: this is for the anon who wanted some fluff with Harry! Requests are open!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry has always had a hard time with words. Whether he’s saying the absolutely wrong thing, or he’s saying something bad without realizing it or he just simply can’t find the right words he can just never seem to get it right.

Which makes it pretty hard for him to let the people around him know how much he cares for and appreciates them. Thankfully, after years of being around Harry and witnessing his social blunders, his friends have learned to pay attention to the intention behind his words, and not necessarily what he’s actually saying.

His inability to express himself properly isn’t really a problem, until he finds the one person in life he wants to tell everything to. He had been aware of Y/N during his time at Hogwarts, but he never really noticed her until he ran into her again a few years after the war. He’s immediately captivated by her warm smile and her presence turns his brain to mush.

I wanted to see you again.

It’s late August, and the collar of Harry’s work shirt is stuck to the sweat on the back of his neck. He’s just finished having lunch with Ron in Diagon Alley and decided to duck into Flourish and Blotts to see if he can find a birthday gift for Hermione before he has to head back to work.

Her birthday is still a few weeks out, so he’s just casually browsing some of the titles near the back of the store when he hears someone come up behind him.

“Hi! Is there something I can help you find?”

The person’s voice is sweet and melodic and when Harry turns around he’s met with a familiar face. The young woman looking at him is earth shatteringly beautiful and his mind races as he tries to figure out where he knows her from.

“Oh, Harry! How’s it going? It’s nice to see you,” the woman says as they make eye contact, a smile spreading across her face. When Harry still doesn’t say anything, too entranced by her beauty, she continues. “I’m Y/N. I was in the year above you at school,” she reminds him with a laugh.

Harry remembers her instantly, a pretty embarrassing memory of him tumbling into her lap in the common room while he was messing around with Ron coming to the forefront of his mind. He scratches the back of his head, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Oh yeah, Y/N. I’m doing well, thanks. Sorry about all of that. I’m pretty awful with names,” he says awkwardly, as if the words are fumbling out of his mouth.

She waves away his apology, the smile never leaving her face, which puts Harry at ease. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like we ever really hung out,” Y/N pauses, and Harry wonders if the same memory that came to his mind has come back to her. “And you had way more important things to be thinking about back in those days.”

“Yeah, my brain is pretty empty these days,” he responds. A moment later he realizes how idiotic that was and he’s tempted to hit himself over the head with one of the heavy books on the shelf behind him. “Not empty, empty. Just not being possessed by Voldemort,” he continues desperately trying to save their conversation. “Wait, that sounds wrong. What I’m trying to say is. Honestly I have no idea what I’m trying to say.”

Y/N laughs again, and Harry swears it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. “I get what you’re trying to say. I think at least. Not too sure about that whole Voldemort thing, but I’ll let that one slide.” She sends Harry a wink and he can feel his heart flutter in his chest.

“I’ve got to get back to work, unfortunately,” he sighs, realizing the time. “But it was nice to see you again. And maybe I will see you again, some day in the future.”

What Harry meant to say, was that he would be back in the store again soon and that he’d see her then, but he just couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. He gives Y/N a final, awkward nod, before he leaves the store, too in his own head to see the pink flush on her cheeks.

Harry had spent the rest of his workday sitting at his desk, replaying the awkward interaction he’d had with Y/N over and over in his head. It’s been a long time since Harry has been embarrassed about his lack of social skills, but he can’t help but feel flustered as he goes through the situation over and over again. Y/N had been absolutely captivating, and he had been, well, less than stellar. But he’s determined to go back there and get it right. So, when the workday is done he heads straight back to Diagon Alley.

“Harry!” Y/N says excitedly when he enters the shop for the second time that day. “Back again so soon?” Her tone is light and teasing, causing Harry to smile at her.

“I thought I might see you here again.” Of course, you would see her here again you idiot, she works here he scolds himself. “Hang on, that’s not what I meant to say,” he continues with a nervous laugh. He takes a deep breath, his shoulders tensing up as he tries to find the right words in the jumble of his brain. “What I mean to say was, I wanted to see you again.”

Y/N can feel her face flushing, and she immediately drops her gaze to the papers in front of her and begins to fuss with them. “I was uh, hoping that you’d come back in, actually.”

“Really?” Harry asks in surprise. When Y/N nods Harry feels his shoulders relax and he takes a few tentative steps towards the counter she’s standing behind.

Y/N takes a moment to compose herself before she finally is able to look up at Harry, her cheeks still flushed. “Yes, really. You’re quite captivating, Mr. Potter.”

Harry’s mouth opens and closes several times at her sentiment, trying to work out what exactly to say next. When he had thought back through their earlier conversation he had used many adjectives to describe his behavior, idiotic and embarrassing had been the most frequent, but none of them even came close to the level of captivating. If anything, he had been captivated by her, he was mesmerized by her smile and her warmth.

“Really?” It’s not the words he wants to come out of his mouth, but it’s the only one his brain has managed to remember. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Usually he can stumble his way through a conversation and come out seeming somewhat normal, but whenever he’s around Y/N it’s as if he’s forgotten how to speak at all.

“Yes, really,” she says again, a small giggle falling from her lips. “I’ve got to start closing up the store now. But, do you maybe wanna get dinner? Perhaps this weekend?” She scribbles something down on a spare piece of parchment and holds it out to Harry. “Here’s my address. Just send me an owl.”

Harry gives her a curt nod and grabs the piece of parchment from her. Their fingers lightly brush against each other and Harry feels like his hand is on fire. “Brilliant,” he says with a quick smile, before he’s turning on his heel and fleeing from the store.

Owl me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.

Thankfully Harry is much better at getting his point across when he’s writing it down. Not wanting to seem too eager, Harry waited until he returned home from work the next day to send an owl to Y/N. He thought about waiting longer, but it was already Thursday and he really wanted to see her again over the weekend.

He’s on his seventh piece of parchment when he finally manages to find the right thing to say. He wanted to be eloquent to try and make up for his disastrous attempts at a conversation in person. But after his fourth failed attempt, he decided to just be himself. He keeps it simple and after rereading it a few times he sends it off to her so that he can’t over think it any more than he already has.

Y/N,

It was really, really nice to see you the other day. I hope you’ll meet me outside the Leaky Cauldron at 6 pm on Saturday so that I can take you out to dinner.

Yours,

HJP

Oh, it’s Harry by the way, Harry Potter. I wasn’t sure if you would know what my initials are. Anyway, I hope to see you again soon.

Harry watches his owl fly away and when she’s no longer visible he relaxes back against his couch, already thinking about how he’s going to mess up his date on Saturday.

-

Saturday at 6 pm arrives before Harry is quite mentally prepared, but as Y/N approaches him all his worries wash away. She looks breathtaking, and Harry can do nothing but wave weakly as she approaches.

Y/N smiles warmly at Harry, giggling to herself as she watches him fidget. She finds how awkward he is endearing, especially considering how famous he is. Growing up Y/N had been told stories about the entire Potter family, and how their bravery had led to the defeat of Voldemort. Harry’s fame had only grown during the years she had known him at school, since it seemed that he came face to face with Voldemort every year and managed to escape alive every time. So, it’s nice to see that even after all of that fame, even after his heroics during the war, he’s still a bit unsure of himself.

“Hi, Harry,” she greets cheerily.

Harry somehow manages to return her smile, despite the fact that she’s standing so close to him he can smell her perfume. “Hi, Y/N. You look like sunshine.” Harry scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you, Harry. You look very nice too.”

They stand there for a few seconds in silence before Harry realizes he should probably say something. He holds his arm out for her, which Y/N takes happily. “Let’s do this thing.”

-

Harry had chosen a muggle restaurant not too far from the Leaky Cauldron for their date. Despite the fact that it’s been a few years since the war and life has gone back to normal, Harry can’t really go anywhere in the Wizarding World without being approached. And usually he doesn’t mind, but he’s awkward enough around Y/N as it is, he doesn’t need to throw a half a dozen strangers asking him questions into the mix.

Once they reach the restaurant they’re seated at a table quickly, and it’s only once the hostess has left them alone that Harry realizes he’s going to have to spend the next few hours making conversation.

Sensing Harry’s sudden nervousness, Y/N makes the first move and starts a light conversation about the menu and what kind of food she likes to eat. Her soft voice puts Harry at ease, and he manages to follow in her lead, his words only getting caught in his throat a handful of times.

Harry manages to make it through dinner semi-successfully. He flounders his words a few times, and he somehow accidentally ends up insinuating that Ginny is his girlfriend, “No not my girlfriend, my friend who also happens to be a girl. A female,” he had stuttered out when Y/N’s jaw dropped open.” But luckily Y/N was patient with him, and she laughed it off.

As they head back towards the Leaky Cauldron, their pinky fingers linked, Harry feels like he’s on Cloud 9. While Harry had suffered some embarrassing moments, Y/N never seemed to mind. As their dinner went on he felt more and more at ease, like he had been talking with Ron or Hermione.

When they reach the Leaky Cauldron, Y/N turns to face Harry, and he can feel his nerves from earlier return.

Y/N leans forward and presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek, causing both of them to blush. “I had a really great time tonight, Harry. We should definitely do it again.”

“I did too. And I would really like that,” he forces out once his heart rate returns back to normal. His cheek burns where Y/N’s lips had touched, and he has to stop himself from reaching up to touch it.

“Great,” she breathes, her eyes twinkling. “Bye.”

Harry means to tell her to let him know that she gets home safe, but the words get caught in his throat. “Let me know when you’re safe. With an owl. Oh, for Godric’s sake,” he mutters, placing his head in his hands. He takes a deep breath before he looks back to Y/N, a soft smile on her face. “Owl me when you get home, so I know you’re safe. That’s what I meant to say.”

Y/N laughs lightly, and she presses another quick kiss to his cheek. “Yeah of course Harry. Have a good night.”

Harry stands there in disbelief as Y/N walks away, his hand finally coming up to lightly touch his face where he can still feel the imprint of her lips. “Brilliant.”

You never cease to amaze me.

After their first date, Y/N and Harry see each other often, much to Harry’s delight and surprise. He wasn’t usually very lucky with his romantic endeavors, mostly due to his less than wonderful way with words and his just general awkwardness. The closest thing he had to a girlfriend was Cho Chang in 5th year, but he had accidentally led Cho to believe that he was in love with Hermione on their one, and only, date.

But thankfully for Harry, Y/N doesn’t seem to care that he isn’t the best at conversing. Whenever he says the wrong thing or his words come out in jumbles she’s patient with him, allowing him to figure out the right way to say it. Although now that they’ve been going out for a few weeks, sometimes when Harry starts to get embarrassed Y/N just kisses him instead, and Harry has no problem with that. He’s a much better kisser than he is a conversationalist, which makes both Y/N and him infinitely happy.

Even though Harry and Y/N have seen each other nearly every day since their first date three weeks ago they haven’t made anything official. Harry cares for Y/N deeply, and his feelings for her grow every day, but this is important to him and he wants to be able to find the right words to say so he can get them out confidently.

Harry pushes the door to Y/N’s flat open after waiting a few moments for her to respond to his knock. It feels weird for him to walk in without being invited in, but she had told him a specific time to be over tonight, so it won’t be a surprise if she suddenly finds him in her flat. As he steps through the door he can hear noises coming from Y/N’s kitchen, and the air smells of tomato and basil.

He can hear Y/N quietly singing to herself and he creeps towards the kitchen, wanting to hear her better. He peaks in from around the corner, an instant smile appearing on his face. Instead of seeing a knife chop by itself as ingredients fly through the air like Harry had expected, he’s surprised to see that Y/N is cooking the muggle way.

Having been raised by muggles, Harry still felt weird using magic to do some things, and he has already cooked the muggle way for Y/N a few different times. Each time she had sat on the counter, watching him with amazement. Harry had even accidentally overcooked the chicken when a lesson in chopping an onion turned into a heated make out session.

Harry stands in the doorway to Y/N’s kitchen, smiling at her back like an idiot. She’s quietly singing along to the Weird Sisters song that’s coming from the record player in her living room as she stirs something in a pot on the stove. She looks absolutely gorgeous, and Harry has to swallow hard to keep the word vomit he can feel building in his throat down. He wants to say everything he’s been feeling since their first conversation in Flourish and Blotts, whether it comes out the way he wants it to or not.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he says suddenly, causing Y/N to shout and clutch her chest.

She spins around to face Harry, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Merlin you scared me! How long were you standing there?” she asks, coming up to wrap her arms around Harry’s neck.

Harry’s arms immediately wrap around her waist and he pulls their bodies together as he presses a chaste kiss to her lips. “Just a few minutes. You seemed like you were pretty into it, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Y/N laughs, and kisses Harry again briefly. “So, I amaze you, huh?”

Harry nods, releasing Y/N so she can go back to cooking. “Of course you do. You’re smart and beautiful. You have an amazing sense of humor and you have the amazing ability to look past my chronic foot in mouth syndrome,” he says with a chuckle, causing Y/N to laugh as well.

Don’t get up, I’ll do it.

Harry and Y/N quickly fall into a routine in their relationship. They go out on dates three times during the work week. They alternate between doing things in the wizard world and the muggle world. Y/N is fascinated by muggle things and Harry loves watching her eyes light up as he introduces her to the world he grew up in.

Saturdays are always reserved for quiet nights in at one of their flats. Sometimes they order in, or they cook a meal the muggle way together, but no matter how their evening starts it always ends the same way, too much wine and cuddles on the couch while some random movie plays in the background.

This particular Saturday they’re at Harry’s flat. He’s sitting on the couch, Y/N’s head in his lap as they watch some movie Harry can’t be bothered to remember the name of.  It’s one of the first cold nights of the year and Y/N is cuddled under a blanket Mrs. Weasley had knit for Harry while a fire burns in the fireplace. Harry isn’t paying too much attention to the movie, he’s too busy watching the flames dance on Y/N’s face as he strokes her hair.

Harry has just tangled his fingers in Y/N’s hair when she shivers, causing Harry’s soft smile to turn into a frown. “Are you cold? I could get you another blanket.”

Y/N shakes her head and brings a hand up to squeeze Harry’s knee. “No. Just, content.”

Harry chuckles. “So, you’re shivering, because you’re content? I have to say love that’s one of the weirdest things I’ve heard, and I’ve said some pretty weird stuff.”

They both laugh at that. In the few months its’ been since Y/N and Harry met he’s been getting more comfortable around her, and his word fumbles have occurred less and less often. The only time he seems to be speechless or say something weird is in the bedroom because when Y/N has her hands on him his brain turns to absolute mush. He still has a hard time expressing just how he feels but considering the fact that she’s still around Harry thinks she knows just how much he cares for her.

They sit there in a comfortable silence, Y/N still watching the movie and Harry watching her. When she starts to get up, Harry presses her hip down into the couch, forcing her to stay there. “What do you need? A drink? A snack? Don’t get up, I’ll get it.”

Y/N giggles and wiggles in Harry’s grip, trying to get him to let go. “Harry, love that’s very sweet of you but I need to go to the loo. So, unless you’ve figured out a way to do that for me you’re gonna have to let me up.”

Harry immediately let’s go, a pink blush forming on his cheeks. “I-I-I,” he stutters out as she gets up. She presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek and the last coherent thought he had in his head flies out the window.

“I appreciate the sentiment though, love,” she says with a chuckle before disappearing deeper into Harry’s flat.

“I am a bloody idiot,” he mutters to himself, unable to contain his smile.

I love you.

Harry and Y/N have been together for 8 months when Harry starts to feel pressure. He’s in love with her, and he has been for quite a while. He falls deeper and deeper every day, but he still hasn’t managed to say it. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to say it, every time he sees her he wants to shout it at the top of his lungs. And he’s tried to say it, many times, but each time he couldn’t manage to get the words out and he ended up saying something else instead.

“You seem to be deep in thought over there. What’s on your mind?” Y/N’s voice brings Harry out of his head and back into the present. Her tone is light, but he can hear the concern in her voice. They’re sitting outside of Florean’s, having some ice cream after a heated round of minigolf. Despite the fact that it was her first time playing, Y/N managed to beat Harry by quite a lot, and they had laughed about it the whole way there.

Harry reaches out to grab her hand, intertwining their fingers. “Just thinking about you,” he answers honestly. She’s all he ever seems to be able to think about, no matter the time or place Y/N is always on his mind. Harry smiles when she blushes, his thumb starting to rub circles on the back of her hand.

“Thinking about how I just smoked you in minigolf?” she asks with a laugh.

No matter how many times Harry has heard her laugh it never fails to give him butterflies.

“A little bit, yes,” he chuckles. “But I’m also thinking about how beautiful you are. And how much I love your laugh. And how happy you make me.”

Y/N leans forward and kisses Harry. Her mouth is cold from the ice cream and it sends a shiver down his spine. “I love you,” she whispers a moment later when she pulls away. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it yet, love. Because I know you love me too.”

“You do?” Harry asks in disbelief.

Y/N nods and kisses him again. “You say it all the time without actually really saying it. Like when you come see me at work on your lunch break just because you miss me. Or when you make sure I get home safe. And when you just stand there and stare at me with so much adoration it makes me feel like I’m going to explode. You may not always be able to tell people how you feel, but you’re amazing at showing it.”

Harry lunges forward and kisses Y/N, their ice cream forgotten on the table and melting everywhere. But he can’t really find it in him to care. He loves the woman in front of him so much he’d let the world melt around them before he dared to even look away from her. Very few people really understand Harry and how he communicates, so the fact that Y/N does it so effortlessly makes him want to drop on one knee and promise to give her the world.

But as he pulls away from her mouth he resists that urge. Partially because he doesn’t have a ring, and he wants to give Y/N the biggest diamond he can find. But mostly because there are other things he should say to her before asking for her hand in marriage.

“I love you,” he breathes. Their foreheads are pressed together, and it feels like they’re the only people in the world.  I know may not always say the right thing, or anything really. So even if I don’t quite say it, know that I feel it. I will always show you that I love you, even if I can’t find the right words to tell you.”