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jasm1nelily · 2 years

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you’re the only woman

pairing : eddie munson x fem!reader

word count : 3.7k

summary : eddie munson has a huge crush on y/n l/n. which really sucks, because she’s his friend, and she’s way out of his league... but god, she’s so gorgeous.

notes : slight spoilers for s4 :) so incredibly slight. that’s all <3 this is for all my eddie lovers in light of some... recent developments.

ALSO! requests are open :) check out my pinned post for more info on that. enjoy!

Eddie Munson has a crush.

Which is weird, because he hasn’t had a crush on anybody for what must be at least two years. Not for any specific reason. He’s just never allowed himself to feel those things for someone else, because 1) he always gets rejected, anyhow 2) there are more important things in his life. Like Hellfire Club. And actually graduating. In that order, of course.

But as much as Eddie wants to focus only his campaign, on recruiting new members, on at least passing the same math class he’s been in for who knows how long, he finds himself thinking about her a lot more often than he wishes he would. He tried to deny, deny, deny, for as long as he could, until it got ridiculous and he realized how stupid he sounded attempting to rationalize this odd set of emotions to be anything other than what they so plainly were.

Eddie Munson has a crush.

And she’s so beautiful. She’s got a gorgeous smile, she’s got a pretty laugh. Her voice is so perfect that sometimes when he reads things in his head he imagines that it’s her reading it instead, which has actually become a successful studying tactic in recent weeks. So maybe this crush has been a little helpful in areas of his life that he needs help in, but the hassle of it all is much more evident.

His favorite thing about her is that she doesn’t care for traditional labels, like loser or jock or stupid shit that movies made up to divide the high school population. She eats lunch with him and his boys, she cheers at the football games on Fridays, she participates in art shows and debate competitions on the weekends. And where somebody else would be outcast for trying to be so many things at once, it works for her, because it’s her, and anybody who even tried to shun her would be, for lack of better words, an idiot.

Here’s the thing. Eddie Munson has a huge crush on Y/N L/N, and he stands no chance.

And when he says no chance, he means absolutely zero. Zero as in zilch, as in it’s a pipe dream that he could ever be with her, as in the probability of her saying yes even if she had just hit her head in a serious car accident would be 100 to 1.

This is the main reason Eddie has been attempting to convince himself that he doesn’t actually have a crush on her, because if he allows the idea to take root in his mind he knows he won’t be able to let go of it. He won’t even talk about it. Saying the actual words would make it real. Too real.

Except, his lips tend to get a little loose when he’s not fully in control of his facilities. As in, when he’s high, which is at least once a week; unfortunately, he’s never alone when he smokes, which makes the chance that it’ll slip out much higher. For this reason, he always makes excuses not to get high with her. He lies about being busy, and if he actually agrees he doesn’t smoke enough to lose his ability to reign in his thoughts. He always regrets it when he does the latter, because even if he’s not super high, being even the slightest bit inebriated around her is a recipe for disaster. Y/N always looks prettiest when Eddie is high. Not that she doesn’t look pretty no matter what.

But today is a special day. It’s the last day of school before Spring Break, which usually would suck because the whole day Eddie would just be looking forward to the final hour. But Y/N’s parents are dragging her on a trip for the entirety of the break, so Eddie promised to make tonight extra special for her—as in, they’ll smoke, drink, listen to music, and all around have as lovely a time as is possible for him when he’s alone with her. They weren’t actually supposed to be alone, but everyone else canceled last minute. Very convenient. Sometimes Eddie wonders if all his friends know about this crush of his without him having to actually say anything.

Spoiler alert: there is actually not that much fun that is possible for Eddie when he’s alone with Y/N, because half the time he’s wishing he could be kissing her, and the other half he’s afraid he’ll say something dumb and fuck things up. But he’s not about to let her leave without seeing her for as much time as possible, so Eddie decides he’ll just have to grow some balls and act normal and be her friend even if he really really wants to be more.

Eddie doesn’t realize he’s been sitting in one place zoning out until he hears three loud knocks on the trailer door, accompanied by a voice that’s all too familiar, though he can’t make out the words. He blinks a few times and glances at the clock—he’s been here for 20 minutes. Maybe he should cut down on the, you know, drugs. It’s probably not having a great impact on his attention span.

“Eds, hurry up. It’s cold!”

Fuck. She’s here.

Eddie bolts up from his uncle’s Lazy Boy and heads straight for the door; not, of course, before checking his hair in the mirror by the TV. Looking good, Munson. Let’s hope Y/N thinks the same. (Who is he kidding?)

When Eddie opens the door and sees her standing there, he kinda sorta wishes that he canceled too. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look so good. Sure, he’s seen her in that really cute cheerleader outfit, which he calls stupid to her face but literally dreams about at night, but it’s nothing compared to this.

“What? You didn’t think I was giving this back, did you?” she greets, grinning playfully as she pushes past him and into the trailer. God, he feels like he’s about to burst, because she’s wearing his sweater. He let her borrow it a week or so ago because she spilled something on her own, but never got the chance to see her in it because he was headed to Hellfire Club, and he’s not late to that, not ever.

Eddie swallows and curses himself for standing there like an idiot before he closes the door. “That’s my favorite sweater.” It actually isn’t, but now it is.

She laughs and swings the plastic bag full of snacks and whatever else onto the table. “Too bad. It’s mine now.”

No complaints there. He’d literally pay her to wear it everyday.

Eddie does pretty well for the first hour or so. All Y/N wants to do is talk and eat chips and drink the shitty alcohol she managed to score off her older brother, and that’s safe for him, so Eddie has no issues with that. She talks a lot, which he loves. She’s talking about this movie she really liked as a kid when it happens for the first time.

“Fuck, what’s the name? I can’t remember the name. This is gonna annoy me all night,” she sighs, squeezing her eyes shut as if that’ll help her come up with it. Her legs are crossed and she’s sitting on the couch, a can of whatever it is she’s been sipping in hand. Eddie has one of his own but he hasn’t been able to drink much of it. He’s too nervous, which seems contradictory seeing as being a little inebriated would make him less nervous, but he can’t bother to try explaining the intricacies of his mind.

Eddie laughs a little at her, which prompts Y/N to open her eyes and give him a slight glare. “What’s so funny, Munson? I’m trying to remember!”

“My bad, my bad. Please, carry on remembering.”

She huffs. "Fuck, this is so irritating. Why can’t I just remember?”

Y/N heaves another sigh, placing her drink on the side table as she stretches her arms upwards. Before Eddie can really react, she free falls her upper body right toward him, landing squarely with her head on his thigh, and her arms on either side of her face; one hand brushing against Eddie’s side, and one hanging off the couch.

Eddie wants to die.

She looks pretty, looking up at him with those big eyes, smiling even more brightly than she usually does—or maybe it just looks that way, who knows. Either way, Eddie hopes he doesn’t look as starstruck as he feels, because if he does he’s sure she’s gonna burst out laughing.

“Woah, Eds, you’ve got really nice eyes. How come I never noticed?” Y/N reaches a hand up to grab at his face, and her fingertips leave scorching marks on his cheeks.

“Um,” he stutters, hoping she’s a little too off-her-rocker to notice. “Thanks.”

She giggles. “You’re such a dork.” And then her hands fall and she sits up and it’s all over.

Eddie decides he’ll drink a little more from that point on.

It’s about an hour before anything of that nature happens again. By that point, Eddie’s finished his can of piss and he feels it coursing through his veins, making him a little more loose, a little more him, because he’s so anxious right now that Tipsy Him is kinda just Normal Him. The two of them are sitting outside now. Y/N’s lying on her side on the picnic table by his trailer and he’s seated on the bench, listening to her retell a story about being kicked out of a grocery store.

When she finishes, she goes quiet, and Eddie wonders if maybe he should tell a story now. What about that one where he almost fell out of a rollercoaster in Minnesota? Or that time he was chased by 5 middle schoolers through the woods? Or—

“Wanna smoke?”

Never mind. That sounds like a better idea. “Hell yeah.”

They go back inside; to Eddie’s room, to be exact, which he cleaned up a little before her arrival. Just enough that it doesn’t look like he did it just for her, because even if Y/N’s never been to his house, everyone knows Eddie doesn’t exactly keep his abode spick and span. It’s a stereotype, but it’s pretty much true.

“Give me a sec. I pre-rolled some, just gotta find em...” he trails off, digging through his comics and other nerdy shit as he tries to remember where he put his tin.

“Oh my god, your guitar! She’s beautiful,” Y/N breaths, shuffling past him and toward his one true love. He smiles to himself as he continues to look, trying to ignore the urge to turn around and watch as she no doubt admires his baby. Finally, Eddie discovers that he’s hidden his tin underneath his pajamas from the previous night, which means it’s on the floor. He probably could’ve cleaned that up, but oh well.

Soon, the two of them are sitting on the floor, shoulder to shoulder as they lean against his bed and share a joint. Eddie doesn’t think he’s been so content in a while.

“Hey, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

He almost chokes on the smoke that leaves his lips; just at the right time, he thinks, because if she’d said it while the joint was still in his mouth he would probably be keeled over trying to cough it up out of his throat. Y/N giggles at his reaction and lays her hand on his shoulder, making him turn to look at her.

“I mean it! You’re so handsome, Eds. And you’re probably the only guy I’ve never heard make a gross joke about girls.”

Eddie blinks back at her for a moment, unsure of how to react to that—maybe he should correct her, because while he’s never made a gross joke about a girl in front of her, he’s definitely done it otherwise. And then it hits him—

“I’m handsome?”

Y/N stares with this incredulous look in her eyes, like she’s somewhere far away and is struggling to get back to reality, where she’s just called Eddie Munson handsome and is sitting next to him smoking a joint.

“Yes, dork. You didn’t know?”

Eddie is completely and utterly terrified that he’s about to say the wrong thing. Even worse, he’s blank on words right now—his mind is essentially a wiped blackboard, and all that’s left are vague scribblings of time long past, shadows of sentences that he can’t make out. And he’s staring at her with bug eyes and she looks so cute waiting on his response, because she doesn’t look at all phased by the long stretch of silence that has followed her reply.

Finally, he thinks of something, and maybe it’s because he just wants to fill the quiet or because the high is starting to hit, but he doesn’t really ponder too hard about the consequences of his actions before he says—

“I really wanna kiss you right now.”

It’s Y/N’s turn to go mute, and go mute she does. Her expression is frozen in a smile, glossy eyes, eyebrows raised. Eddie feels as if he is going to explode. Chunks of his brain are going to splatter against the posters on his wall. They’re going to find his blown off fingers underneath the bed, next to his porno magazines. His eyeballs will fly out the window and the neighbor’s dog will eat them.

“Kiss me, then.”

BOOM. Blood splatters all over his carpet and his bedding and Y/N screams, cradling what remains of his mutilated body in her arms—

Oh.

“What did you say?” Eddie’s voice comes out as a mix between a croak and a whisper as he gawks at her face. She smiles and inches a little closer. The space between them is so small that he can smell the fruity alcohol on her tongue, smell the potency of the weed on her breath. It’s like a fucking aphrodisiac.

“You wanna kiss me, right? Then do it.”

It takes him a few more seconds to register her request; a few seconds too long, because before Eddie knows it she’s closed the distance. Her lips are suddenly slotted against his and there aren’t any fireworks, sparks, tingles, nothing; it just feels so incredibly right, like this is the only thing in the world Eddie is meant to be doing at this moment, at any moment, for all time.

She tastes like a bitter candy, a result of the different substances she had consumed that evening. It tastes really fucking good. Eddie hopes he tastes just as good as her, just as intoxicating, because maybe then she’ll need him in this moment just as much as he needs her.

Y/N hums to herself, something Eddie isn’t sure what the meaning of is, but understands when she pulls away just a moment after. She keeps her forehead touching his, and their noses are still poking one another as well, which Eddie appreciates because he wants to remain as close to her as humanely possible so the spell doesn’t break.

“That was really nice. You’re a good kisser,” she whispers, smiling so hard he’s sure her cheeks are aching. She looks him in the eyes and her pupils are blown up so big that they look like black holes, sucking him in. He’s happy to go along with them.

“I’ve wanted that for so long,” Eddie confesses, almost regretting it when she giggles softly.

“Me too.” Eddie feels like he should die right now, because he’s already in Heaven.

“Can we do it again?” His heart is pounding so hard he's afraid she can hear it.

“Wait.”

She’s quiet for a second, before she pulls away even further and takes his hands in hers. He misses the contact of her face so close to his, but in her eyes Eddie can tell there’s something she wants to say. Rather, something she wants to hear. He has an inkling he knows just what that is, but an inkling isn’t enough—he’s not sure anything would be enough to make him admit his feelings, because the idea of being rejected by her and losing her in his life forever is something he just can’t fathom. He needs her. Even if it means he can only have a part of her, he just needs something.

“Eds,” Y/N starts, her tone more serious than it had been before. Yet, her pretty smile hasn’t fallen, and her pupils are still staring right into his. He feels like his pupils are pretty big too, even though he can’t see them, and he wonders if he can see more of her like this—as if his pupils being larger would let him absorb more of her into his memory.

“Do you remember that one time i got mad at you? Like, really mad. That time we didn’t talk for a week. Remember that?”

Eddie nods. “Of course I do. Worst week of my life.”

Y/N’s smile gets a little wider but she tries to bit it back—it doesn’t work. “I said I was mad because you ditched our movie night for Hellfire. But that wasn’t the actual reason. The real reason was something really dumb that’s gonna make me sound so fuckin’ stupid, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. Ready?”

“You never sound stupid.” Alright. Enough with the buttering up, idiot. You don't have to say every compliment that comes to mind.

But she just smiles a little harder and ignores it.

“i wasn’t mad at all. I was actually just sad, because I really wanted to spend time with you, and then I was upset because I realized I shouldn’t be that sad about that, and then I was too scared to talk to you... because I realized, I really like you, Eddie. I really, really like you. I wanna spend every second that I can with you. I even considered joining Hellfire just to have extra time.”

Eddie’s mouth has gone dry.

“You don’t have to say anything. But I would really like you too, or else I might cry,” she adds, and he can hear in her voice that she is definitely not bluffing. The last thing he wants to see is her crying, especially if he’s the cause, so he starts to rack his mind for a way to properly articulate all the emotions and complex feelings and thoughts he has surrounding her.

Every time you look at me it feels like somebody has a hand wrapped around my chest and they’re squeezing really fucking hard, trying to make my heart pop out of my throat or something. Every time I’m doing something and you’re not with me I’m thinking about you. I want to be the person you go to when you’re sad, the person who makes you happy when you’re sad, the person who never makes you sad, because I want to love you so much that you can’t stand it anymore and you love me back just the same, because I can take it. There will never be a moment where I can’t stand it. I want to make you the happiest girl on Earth, maybe in the whole galaxy. Standing next to you I feel like a person. I feel real. You make me feel real. I can’t ever let you go.

But instead of saying all that, Eddie just smiles awkwardly at her and squeezes her hands.

“I think I might be in love with you.”

His smile falls a little because she’s made good on her promise; a few tears are running down her cheeks, but her lips are pulled into such a big grin that he would be remiss to think she was anything but extraordinarily happy. Like so happy that her face might split in two. And Eddie feels the same way, except he’s managing to keep it buried underneath the butterflies that swarm violently in his abdomen.

“Good. I think I’m in love with you too.”

Never did he think he’d ever hear her say those words. But here he is, slightly drunk and pretty high, which is a state of mind he promised himself to refrain from being in when he’s with her, and he wonders if maybe she’s just saying all this because she’s not sober. But before he can ask, she leans into him, and presses another kiss onto his lips—not as violent or passionate as before, but just as sweet, and a little more loving.

“I’m really glad everyone else canceled. If we hadn’t smoked alone, I wouldn’t have had the balls to do any of that.”

“I’m really glad you told me how you felt first. If you hadn’t, we’d be sitting here in silence for at least another hour.” Eddie laughs when she hits his arm just hard enough for him to know she’s just playing around, and finds that he can’t stop laughing, even when she leans into him and they fall to the floor, his arms wrapped around her body as she lies on top of him.

“I’m so happy right now,” he whispers, not really saying it to her. “I’m so fucking happy.”

Eddie Munson has a crush.

And she’s so beautiful. She’s got a gorgeous smile, she’s got a pretty laugh. Her skin is so soft that sometimes he just traces shapes on it to help himself fall asleep when he’s lying next to her. She supports him in everything he does—at least, everything that makes some sort of sense, otherwise she’ll aptly call him out on his stupidity. And he loves her for it. He loves her for everything that she is, everything that she’s not, everything she tries to be.

Eddie Munson has more than a crush. Eddie Munson is in love.

And thank god she loves him back. Otherwise, he thinks he might die.

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