#phew. now that i've got that off my chest

[gillianthecat]

sometimes i see a post going around that makes me think, wow my taste is really different from the general consensus "tumblr taste"

[shadowdaddies]

what do you think about cassian with a mate that used to get bullied before they met, And one day they’re at ritas and she sees her old bullies and she freezes up. He notices and reader explains what happened, her bullies walk up to reader and act all friendly bc of cassian, they wanna be in the army or something so they act nice but cassian beats them up instead, and takes her home UGHH THE ANGSTT AND COMFORT AND FLUFF👀🤍

Phew, I have a few angst requests in the works that I've needed some time to get in the right headspace to write. Thank you anon for sending in this ask, please enjoy Cassian being both therapist and mama bear

Karma

Cassian x Reader (angst to comfort/fluff)

Warnings: implied violence, mentions of bullying, lil bit of suggestiveness

You were resting your head on Cassian’s shoulder, holding onto his bicep with one hand while sipping on your drink with the other. You had your eyes closed as you enjoyed the music at Rita’s, basking in the peace of the evening you were spending with Cassian. You recognized the band starting to play a song you loved, and you began singing along. As you opened your eyes to turn to Cassian who was also singing along, your heart dropped into your stomach. 

You froze, fight or flight mode taking over as you saw two familiar faces you’d prayed to the Mother you’d never see again, over by the bar. You quickly turned away, looking towards the ground as your shoulders curled inward. Cassian immediately caught on that something was wrong, gently rubbing your arm as he asked, “honey, what is going on? Are you alright?” You couldn’t help your reaction to his touch, instinctively shaking him off as the room felt like it was closing in on you. You couldn’t breathe as you started sweating, unable to lift your gaze from your shoes. You struggled to whisper to him, “I can’t be here. I need to go outside now,” before standing up and bolting out the door, Cassian following right behind you. 

Once you got outside in the fresh air, you felt like you could breathe again. Pacing back and forth, you racked your brain for what you must have done in another lifetime to deserve seeing those two males here, in a place that was supposed to be a refuge for you. Cassian watched you, wide-eyed, as he observed this side of you he had never seen before. He didn’t want to touch you without your permission after how spooked you were in Rita’s, so he cautiously whispered, “angel, is there anything I can do?”

Cassian’s uncharacteristically timid question was enough to snap you out of your thought spiral, as you couldn’t help but giggle seeing the feared Lord of Bloodshed shifting on his feet as he tried to determine the best way to support you. Your heart softened as you took in the concerned expression on his face. You held his hands in yours as you took a deep breath, and tried your best to explain what was happening. “Those two males who arrived at the bar right before we left, they bullied me for a lot of my childhood. They are the reason for so many of my insecurities, Cass, and I thought I had moved past it. But seeing them in there... It brought all of those emotions back. I haven’t gotten any better. They still have power over me and I hate it.” All of your pent-up emotions poured out of you as the tears again threatened to spill. 

Cassian took one of his hands from yours and brought it to cup your cheek. He looked into your eyes, and spoke with an unquestionable certainty, “You are beautiful. You are kind. You are loved. You are the most incredible person I have met in my life, and I can assure you that whatever problem they may have or had with you, came from their own faults and insecurities. Those males are not the type of people whose opinions we should value. Do you truly care what they think of you?”

You were taken aback by the question. You never considered if you even cared what they thought about you, and you felt the burden lift off your chest as you realized that you didn’t care. Why should you care what such hateful people think? You wouldn’t care about their opinions on anything else, so why about yourself? You shook your head as you took a deep breath. “No Cass, you’re right. I am above them.” Cassian smiled, “it’s normal to still be hurt by what they did. But you have grown, and continued to be kind, and that is how you have won.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead before leaning back to look at you with a cocked eyebrow, “I can kick their asses for you, though.” You laughed, shaking your head as you took Cassian’s hand, walking home. “As much as I would love that, they’re not worth it.” 

Almost as soon as the words were out of your mouth, you heard your name being called from behind you. You froze for only a moment before regaining your composure as you turned to see your former bullies approaching you. “It’s so good to see you! How are you?” They bombarded you with questions, acting as though they didn’t make your life a living Hel for years. You squeezed Cassian’s hand, both for support and to keep him from lunging at the males. One of them looked down at your joined hands with Cassian before they turned their attention to him. You seethed with rage as they flattered Cassian, asking him about joining the army and his connections in Illyria. Of course, they were so shameless as to use you to meet Cassian.

Cassian gave them curt answers until they asked about how they could join under his command. You were shocked to see Cassian smile as he invited them to the training ring the next day for testing to enlist. You abruptly dismissed yourself from the conversation, turning to continue your way back home when Cassian caught up with you. “What are you thinking, Cass?” you practically yelled at him. “Why would you want them as soldiers?” He smirked at you. “I didn’t invite them to enlist. I invited them to test.”

Late the next morning, you made your way downstairs to the dining room to grab some breakfast, when Azriel and Cassian walked through the door. You looked at their hands to see bloodied knuckles and you chuckled, “you two have some fun sparring this morning?” Azriel gave Cassian a sidelong glance as Cass winked at you. “Not sparring. There was testing this morning, remember?” Your jaw dropped, realizing the cause for their bloodied hands. “You two fought them?!” Azriel scoffed, “I don’t think you can call it that. Neither of them landed a hit.” 

You laughed as you grabbed a rag to clean Cassian’s hands. “You shouldn’t have done that,” you attempted to scold him through your bright smile. He laughed, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I don’t think you need to worry about them bothering you anytime soon, honey.” 

You pulled him by his hand, making your way up the stairs to your bathroom. “What do you say I finish cleaning you up in the bath, General?”

[octuscle]

I've always been a well put together scrawny guy. Never really got along with other guys who were more masculine. I'm eager to see what's on the other end of life. A bear, hairy, with a big belly and a deep belly button. Can fart among other men openly, freely, and, most of all, proudly. The kind of guy who can fix a car with one hand while the other hand is scratching my belly button or drifting the stench of my farts up to my nose. I want to be as filthy of a man as can be, and I want to be proud of it!

As they say in an old Hollywood movie, life is like a box of chocolates… Do you like chocolates? Here's a box.

The chocolates are made of very dark chocolate. They smell of wood, leather and tobacco. Masculine. The first one has rings as a symbol and melts in your mouth. It tastes of whiskey. Very tasty. As the saying goes. A moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips. You can feel your belly growing a little. And the piercings in your nipples feel great.

You can't really tell what's on the next chocolate… An eggplant? Maybe. It tastes… Musky? Your boner is growing in your pants as your belly swells over the waistband. Your foreskin grows back. You run your hand down your pants. Yes, that's good. You smear the precum. With your other hand, you take another chocolate.

It's a bear or something… Also filled with alcohol. But something different, tastes like beer. You have to burp. Your shirt stretches across your stomach and chest. You're growing fur. Everywhere. That was really tasty, you need another one of those. Hehehe, the burp was even better. Phew, how it stinks. Male! You have to take your shirt off before you tear it to pieces. You pull your hand out of your pants, the waistband is getting too tight. You smell your hand. Sweat and musk, sticky from the precum. You rub it clean on your hairy chest and then unbutton your pants. Your cock pops out like a jack-in-the-box.

There's another animal head on the next praline. Could be a bull. Your belly doesn't just swell, it bloats…. Brffffffffft! Phew, you can still put up with your own farts. And here comes another one. You take a deep breath. Yes, that's what a really good fart must smell like. You rub the bulge in your leather pants… It feels great. And the leather can tame a bit of your farts if necessary. If you want…

You haven't tried any of those yet. They have a geometric pattern on them. Your pecs have become man boobs. Big, powerful but soft. And decorated with tattoos that look like you've had them for decades. You get another one with an eggplant on it. Your balls and cock swell up. Your cock is rock hard. Shit, you have to cum. Your cum flies all the way into your beard. A deep puddle forms in your belly button. You rub it all into your fur with your calloused hands.

You've never had one with a wheel like this before. It tastes of oil. Kind of disgusting. And somehow hot. You put your heavy motorcycle boots down on the coffee table and adjust your muir cap. Shit, chocolate pralines don't really fit in your motorcycle workshop. But they do taste good. You have to fart again. And burp immediately afterwards. You hope no customers come in now.

The appetite comes with eating. You take two with a bear on them at once. The leather sofa groans under your weight. The muir cap feels great on your bare skull. The remains of your tobacco still cling to your mighty beard. Yes, you actually feel more like a good portion of Copenhagen or a cigar than a chocolate. But there are only two left anyway. One with a ring on it and one with a bull.

Shit, you can feel a hurricane brewing in your guts. You rub your belly and your tits. Your huge piercings in your nipples and glans are impressive. The leather strap stretches across your upper arm. One of your boys comes into your office and wants to ask you about the Fatboy that's due to be finished this afternoon. This is the moment you've been waiting for. Brbrbrbrbrffffffft! Shit, a bison would be proud. You take a deep breath. Your coworker turns pale. "Get used to it, boy!" you growl.

To apologize, you have given your employee an extra-large box of chocolates. He is to share it with the other boys. His questions are all answered. Now you need a midday nap. Your boys know that. For the next half hour, all they'll hear is snoring and farting coming from your office.

Pic found @musclefetish77

[keketopia]

𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜

pairing. izuku midoriya x gn!reader

synopsis. you drew a picture of the perfect guy for you. little did you know that drawing came to life.

word count. 1.9k!

cw. just some fluff and wholesomeness! :3

It was dark out in the city of Japan. Almost everybody is asleep. Conversely, you are just sitting in bed reading a book about a beautiful couple.

You closed the book as you were done reading it. You held the book close to your chest and sighed dream-ishly.

"Deep voice, cute smile, enchanting eyes, pure heart...why are people like that so hard to find?"

Just then, an idea struck you like a lightning bolt. So you got up, grabbed your pencils, pens, and colors, and decided to draw the man of your dreams.

"Let's see what I can do."

A few hours later, you came up with a beautiful portrait of a man with fluffy green hair, wide doe eyes that matches his hair, four symmetrical freckles on each side of his cheeks, and of course, his pure smile.

"Phew, finally done." So you said as you began to stretch. You look at it with admiring eyes and begin to grow tired after a while. You rubbed your eyes and gently set your drawing on your nightstand. You turn off your lamp and cover yourself in warm, soft blankets as you drift off to sleep.

A mysterious light shone in your bedroom as you had your sweet dreams. The light shone from the portrait, and the man from your drawing appeared.

The man looked around the room as if everything was new to him. He spots a mirror behind him and sees himself there. He took a moment to admire his appearance; he was astonished.

"Wow, they drew me really well." He looked at you as you were sleeping peacefully. Then, he sat in front of you and admired your angelic face.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅

It was now morning, and you were interrupted by the sun shining in your eyes. You woke up to see a strange man right in front of you.

"Oh, wow. What a beautiful dream I'm having. It looks so real, though," You said sheepishly.

"I know I'm too handsome to be real, but I can confirm you're not dreaming."

"Oh my god, I could listen to his voice my whole life."

'Okay, I guess I have to do this" He reaches his hand to you and pinches you in the arm.

"Oww! Wait! I'm not dreaming!" You looked at him in shock. You got off the bed and ran towards the corner of your room.

"Who are you?! How did you get into my apartment?!"

"Hey! Calm down!"

"Calm down?! How am I going to calm down when there is a literal stranger in my house!!"

"Well- That's a good point, but-"

"I'm going to ask again! Who are you and how did you get into my apartment?"

"Don't you recognize me?"

"What do you mean do I-" You took a closer look at the guy and realized that he did look familiar, almost straight out of a picture.

"Wait... you're-you're that man I drew last night!"

"Yeah! That's what I've been trying to tell you! Kinda weird that I'm alive, don't cha think?"

You were at a loss for words. How in the universe that the man you so beautifully drew come to life? What kind of hocus pocus is this?

"I'm kind of hungry, do you have any food I can eat?"

Still a little bit freaked out by your come-to-life drawing. You scooted your way out the bedroom door and headed towards the kitchen with Izuku following behind.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Hmm, perhaps Katsudon!"

After about 30 minutes, Izuku is sitting on your kitchen table, stuffing his face in that sweet and savory sauce.

"Wow, this is really good! I could eat this every day!" You chuckled at his compliment. He was really cute, guess you really are a good artist.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅

"So you don't remember anything about your life in the book?"

"I came from a drawing, not a book"

"Wow, you forgot the love of your life" You teased.

"I-I don't love a-anyone!" He stammered. His face was as red as a strawberry.

"I'm Y/N, by the way," You introduced. "What's your name?"

"I don't have one" He replied. Right, he came from a drawing, of course, he doesn't have a name. "Oh, well then. Your name shall be...Izuku!"

"Izuku...I think that's a fitting name" He smiled.

"So, Izuku, do you want to explore my world?"

"Maybe later, I want to watch a movie"

"Okay, let's see what we got" You grabbed the remote to turn on the TV and put it on Netflix.

"Let's see...we got Red Notice, Level 16, Ava..."

"How about The School for Good and Evil? That seems like an interesting movie?"

"Sure is, considering that this movie is based on an actual book series. I've never read it but I'm sure it's a good book. Let's watch!"

You hit the play button and the remote and watched the movie. After some time, you turned to look at Izuku, who was watching the movie with adorable exciting puppy eyes. You smiled at him, admiring his attractiveness.

"I kinda feel bad for Sophie. All she ever wanted was to escape the horrible mistreatment of her townspeople and be who she wants to be" Izuku explains. You felt warm and happy hearing him say that.

"Yeah, Sophie just wanted Tedros to be her true love, and when he broke it off, that made my heart ache"

You both kept watching until you both fell asleep.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅

You wake up to the sound of Izuku's happy-go-lucky voice.

"Wakey wakey! Time for brekky!" Izuku was standing beside your bed, holding a tray with pancakes and a glass of milk.

"Wow! You made me breakfast?"

"Yes! Now eat! You must be starving"

"Smells amazing! I didn't know you could cook considering I'm the one who made you Katsudon"

"I just follow the recipe I found online. Now hurry up and eat! I want to explore your world" He set the tray on your bed and went out of the room.

After breakfast, you showered, dressed, and headed out with Izuku. You brought him to a small building where you could see bright lights shining through the window. You both headed inside to see the arcade machines.

"Welcome to the arcade!"

"Arcade?" He gives you a puzzled look.

"It's a place with many electric games. You play it and can earn tickets and use those tickets to get prizes. Ooh! Let's go on this one, come on I'll teach you!" You dragged him with you. It was a motorcycle racing game, fit for only 2 players. Izuku surprisingly learned fast.

"I'm going to win this, you'll see"

"Oh, keep dreaming honey" Izuku was taking this too seriously. After a few minutes, he ended up winning.

"Yay! I won!"

"Argh! Let's try another game"

"You wanna lose again?"

"We'll see about that"

"Let's try this one! Come on!" He ran to another game like an excited little baby. You chuckled and followed him"

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅

After visiting the arcade, you took Izuku to the library.

"Wow, so many books"

"A lot of characters like you are in each book"

"Wow"

"I'll get some books then we'll go back home to our comfy bed to read"

"My favorite thing to do"

"Same, honestly"

You brought the books and you both went home.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•

You both covered yourselves in comfy, warm, blankets. Izuku wrapped his arms around your waist as he stared at the book you brought.

"Y/N, can I read for you?"

"Sure" you smiled.

Izuku reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the book. You placed your head on his shoulder and listened to him as he read the book word by word, his deep voice was a whole other level of tranquility. You closed your eyes and slept peacefully on his shoulder. Izuku noticed you and smiled, he placed the book on the nightstand and slept too.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•

"Your food is the best" Izuku said while eating another bowl of Katsudon you made for him.

"I'll gladly cook for you everything" You smiled.

"Wow, I love you" You knew he didn't mean it like that but your heart started beating fast after hearing it from him.

A bit of time passed and you guys are both laying in bed again, reading another book. "Slow dancing in the living room, warm lighting, music in the background... I wish I could live like the main character's in this book"

"Allow me to help you" You looked at him, a bit confused about what he is doing.

Izuku went over to your speaker and played some music, he made sure the lights were dim, and then...

"May I have then dance, my love?" He says as he extended his hand to you. You were a bit taken aback by his action and flustered, but you gladly accepted his hand and you two started slow dancing.

Izuku's hold on you was gentle as if you were a fragile glass, afraid that he might break it. As if you were the most precious gemstone ever. You got lost in each other's eyes, your mouths may have been shut but those eyes were speaking for themselves. Everything was perfect, you didn't want this to end.

"So this is what love feels like..."

Days passed you and Izuku had gotten even closer and your feelings for each other got deeper and deeper every day. Everything was perfect in a way that made you fear that this was just a beautiful dream, but reality isn't always so bad as people say. Reality can show you each and every color of happiness...

"The weather is amazing," You said.

"This moment is amazing" Izuku added.

"Yes...yes indeed" You looked at the view in front of you, admiring it.

"The city lights are so beautiful" Izuku looked at you deeply and said...

"Oh, darling, out of all the city lights, none of them shines brighter than you"

Surprised, you turned to look at him.

"I found everything I wanted in those eyes of yours. I found a friend. A home. Pure love...and I can't help but fall even more for them. I love you...my heart chooses to beat just for you"

Eyes tearing up from the heartfelt confession, you grabbed him by his collar and kissed him. He kissed you back, gently pulling you closer.

"Reality can show you each and every color of happiness"

[maleficentmrsofallevil]

Cranky McCrankypants

I've been spending a lot of time on Den of Angels and Instagram. Got an email from Tumblr thanking me for another month of advertising-free payment, and I realized, "Oh, shit. Tumblr."

I am a cranky collector today (again). Sorry.

Things that irritate me (in no particular order):

Scalpers. Oh, sorry - resellers. I remember when "drop-shipping" first became a thing, and everyone and their neighbor paid for those stupid "learn to be a drop-shipper" online courses. I didn't pay it much mind, cuz I wasn't a doll collector back then. Now, I live in Scalper McScalperville. A doll will go on sale at my local store, and by the time I get there, it's gone, and 50 of them are on feeBay for double or triple the price. Message said scalper, and it's all, "Oh, I couldn't possibly let it go for less than list price." Bitch, you paid $10 for that doll, and you're a SAH-soccer-mom looking for some extra pocket money for your nose candy habit. Trying to buy a doll now is a click-war... unless you know the scalper's threshold, and you bid over it. For example, old R&D Susie dolls? Scalpers don't want to pay more than about $40 USD for her, cuz they re-list her for $75. So - bid $75, and you're more likely to get her for $40.

Related: Mattel. You are a multinational corporation that has been around since 1959. Fucking learn logistics, already. JFC.

On a less serious note: plastic. Dear dog, the amount of plastic (and foam and bubble wrap and...) these dolls are packaged in. I get it for playline dolls, but holy shit, for BJDs? You're already charging an arm and a leg for these dolls. Add $50 to the cost already and ship in a reusable cotton bag, FFS. Also, use plain cardboard boxes, please. I can't recycle them once you've put all that fancy foil decoration on there. When you own as many dolls as I do, keeping the boxes makes you look like a hardcore hoarder. If you're keeping the boxers to maintain the resale value, you aren't a collector anyway. You have inventory. Get a warehouse like every other business.

(the hoard)

Doll nudity. It's an inanimate object, FFS. It doesn't care. If you can't handle seeing nudity, the problem is YOU, Becky. People are born nude. They wear clothes to stay warm and protect sensitive bits. Get laid already.

(holy shit, newds!)

The drama blog. I am aware that the mod thinks they're offering some sort of "public service" letting "shy people" confess their opinions. I'm old. We old farts call that "passive-aggressive bullshit." Besides, that's not what the blog is being used for. It's being used by newer doll artists to shit on other newer doll artists. Econ 101, doll artist: if your doll isn't selling as well as you like, it's not cuz of competition. It's because not enough people like your doll. Work on your sculpting. Don't take it personally: Iplehouse is about as old-school as it gets, and their dolls are notoriously shitty posers. Impldoll has been around how long? And they just now released a new body that a lot of collectors like. It takes time and practice to make a very popular doll. So, invest the time, and practice. Don't bitch about how you can't afford to. I knew - personally knew - lawyers who worked days as attorneys and worked nights as stock workers at Target. If a lawyer can get a second job, so can you. Does it suck? Sure. But that's the world we live in, kids.

Phew. I feel better now.

Again, sorry. Needed to get this off my chest.

[aristocratic-otter]

Hello all! Well, COVID has passed me, not with a bang but with a whimper. I.E., I got it, I think (never tested positive), but with very very faint symptoms, and I'm fine now, so phew. Also, I'm going to see the Book of Mormon this week (the play), so I'm hyped right now!

Thank you to all who've tagged me in the last week. Even when I don't have time or feel up to posting, I love reading what y'all are doing. It's so diverse and interesting!

My thanks to: @j-nipper-95, @artsyunderstudy, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @nightimedreamersghost, @cosmicalart, @larkral, @angelsfalling16, @wellbelesbian, @cutestkilla, @confused-bi-queer, @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @ileadacharmedlife and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe.

There'll be no snippet from Westward Son this week. Not that I'm not making progress (I am), but everything I've written this week is extremely smutty, lol.

From my Age of Sail AU, which now has a name! It's Stars, Flowers, and Children, from the Dante quote: "Three things remain to us from paradise: stars, flowers, and children." It's extremely fitting, as you'll eventually see.

The Snip:

I don’t look at Baz. I’m feeling a little tetchy after being so soft with him. After a moment, he rolls back onto his back as well. Neither of us talk about it. But just as I’m drifting off, I’m almost certain I hear him whisper, “Thank you.”

Every night, for years afterward, I always give him a hug and a kiss goodnight.

From: To Heal a Broken Mind (coming down to the wire on this one!)

I want Baz. I want to wrap myself around him. I want to pull him inside of me so that our two hearts merge into one. 

He wants it too. And I’m too weak to deny him. To deny myself the comfort of his arms tonight. 

From Saving Simon Snow (I've hit a rough patch, but I think there will be a new chapter sometime this week):

“Shit,” he hisses. 

I spin to face him, half expecting a monster to have burst out of the fixtures and attacked him. But he’s fine. There’s no monster. Just Baz. Who for some reason is glaring at this very pretty bed. 

From Snow Fox (Next chapter definitely up this week!) (TW: for emetophobics):

“Basilton, what are you—” my father says, frowning. 

Before he can finish, though, Tarleton sends me a cocky grin and says, “I could land that hit with my eyes shut, Mr. Pitch.” 

“Show me?” I breathe, biting my lip as if enthralled by him. I’m not. I’m disgusted. If he tried to kiss me, I might vomit in his mouth.

From this year's CORB, The Heart In The Well (the name just came to me, I can't explain why it takes months for some fics and days for others!)

“This is your fault!”

Baz crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes at me. “Really, Snow,” he drawls. I swear he sounds posher the more annoyed he is. Which is quite a trick, given that he’s sitting in the dirt, his stork legs stretched out nearly from one side of the well to the other, and wearing a dirty and tattered Watford uniform. 

Still he manages to look better than me.

Aaaand...a tease from something I've been calling "Simon as a TikTok dancer" (but which is absolutely a lot more than that):

Shepard smiles at my apparent interest. “This footage still needs a lot of editing before I can post it. But we post it on the internet, which is a way everyone in the world can see it if they want. And if enough people see it, we might get noticed. And we might start making money. More than the tips we get for our live performances at least.”

Half of what he says is nonsense to me, but I’m quivering with curiosity now. 

(and no, this isn't the mystery project I've teased. Which makes this...wince...my seventh WIP)

Tags and High Fives to everyone above and :

@angelsfalling16, @bazzybelle, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @facewithoutheart, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @messofthejess, @moments-au-crayon22, @alexalexinii, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @prettylightsbigcity, @rimeswithpurple, @raenestee, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @theearlgreymage, @tea-brigade, @technetiumai, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @whatevertheweather, @yellobb-old.

[arihi]

Anyway I'm on Tumblr on my computer at 3 AM now so I might as well do another post. I'm rambly and not quite wanting to get to bed yet, I suppose. (Just a personal blog post under the line.)

It's a new year, and I am doing okay. There are a lot of things I've put off that continue to cast their shadows over me which stresses me out. I will try to work on those eventually. There are deeper issues that are not quite as easy. My relationship with my family is maybe more complicated than before, somehow. I feel generally happy here, but the large gulf between my life here and the snapshot of the life back in Texas every time I visit is so overwhelming that I feel like derealized, a little, for a longer time after each visit than I would like. So dissociated. I went to a 6 hour DJ set a couple of days after I got back from Texas and even with the music so loud I'm sure I've lost hearing, and the bass deep in my chest making it almost hard to breathe, I spent a great part of it staring at the ceiling wondering to myself "Damn, my name is Ari," as if it was a new discovery every time.

I am stressed about my place in it all. Physically, emotionally. Physically, will I need to move, and will I survive that? Emotionally, too complicated to even figure out how I feel about it, let alone putting it to text, let alone posting it on a blog. I flew back home, went to the DJ set, and the day after a good friend flew in and is staying in town for 2 weeks, until Charmed, and then there's Charmed. I am excited for Charmed, but phew. As I type this, I do realize that a large part of feeling so unsettled and rambly late at night is that I haven't gotten to decompress from my holiday trip, and I won't get a chance to until the complicated feelings have likely already buried themselves too deep to process. How could I ever, when it's been a tangled web for over twenty years?

My fitness journey has come to a standstill, since I can't justify the personal training anymore. I do need to work on probably a more stable and consistent gym routine, but it's a mountain of a task to me for regular reasons that aren't really important. It's a typical new year's resolution really, but it just feels more demoralizing to me at the moment because it had been one of the big things I was proud of myself for in recent years, and I had kept at it a long time, so part of me feels like when I stop it'll be impossible to start again, but I know it's not true. But what we know and how we feel don't always line up.

I don't do the annual FutureMes that I used to, but I know every time I wrote one a year down the line was unfathomable to me and I'd always be in such a different position than I had before. I'm banking on that, because I'd like to be feeling different - if not soon, then at least by the next year. Here's to hoping!

[pumpkzsafeplace]

TW: minor reference to su!c!de

Hullo! :0

I've come across your blog. as an age regressor, I like it, it's cozy!! ^u^

But if you don't mind, I'd like to share something that upset me today.

My mom, my sis and I were headed to an ice skating rink. Mom hadn't been there before, and she missed a turn. She got upset, and started yelling the "f" word (I feel as though I shouldn't swear). Desperate to diffuse the situation, I gently said, "let's take some deep breaths, ok?"

Then she said, "don't start with me, Hailey. I'm allowed to be angry."

I quieted down after that. But I can't deny how upset, afraid, and sad downright angry it made *me* feel. First of all: you're allowed to be angry. I never said you weren't. But that doesn't give you the right to treat me like that. Second: So... let me get this straight. *you're* allowed to be angry, but not me? Now, I know you don't know me, but I CANNOT show *any* kind of negative emotion around my parents. None. Because then they'd be upset with me. And it's not just that. Any time I screw up badly enough in general, they'll yell, scream, read me the riot act. I don't know about you, but this feels like a double standard to me. Not to mention my su!c!dal thoughts kick into overdrive whenever one of my parents has an outburst. I'm scared into submission whenever something like this happens. I feel so powerless, yet so afraid angry.

I love my parents, and say what you will, but the way they go about anger management (or lack thereof) has me harboring a lot of resentment and anger.

Anyway, phew, probably not the kind of ask you were expecting. But it feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening. I really appreciate it. ^^

(Feel free to answer this ask privately if you wish)

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

hihi lil bug’ 🌼

aw i’m glad you like it! <3

that makes me feel good, hehe <3

i think it’s important to posts things like this because it’s a big thing that a lot of people go through. i didn’t have the best experience growing up and i too had so much anger bottled up from the way i was treated.

i remember thinking that i was this big, mean scary monster because i had all this anger that i wasn’t allowed to show and yet other people could take theirs out on me. and instead of listening to my problems i was just sent to my room like a mistreated caged animal.

i used to think i was so weird and alone for having these super big emotions, but it turns out you’re not alone and everyone goes through it too. kids and teens are allowed to feel anger & disappointment too, just because we’re their child doesn’t mean we should be treated like a less of an individual.

but more importantly, i’m super duper happy that you chose to vent to me rather than harbouring these feelings. sometimes bottling it all up can be the worst thing to do, especially if you suffer with bad thoughts.

so i’m glad you feel a lot better! <3

i’m always someone who’ll listen and believe you, remember that :)

big hugs 🫂 n smiles, and i hope you have a wonderful day! <3

- 🍰

[sebastiansluts]

I’m a different anon from the sub!seb one but can u PLEASE do a thing on it where he gets too sassy and has to be put back in his place and then after the punishment or whatever (it doesn’t have to be extreme just enough to push him. Do whatever you’re amazing) it’s just fluffy aftercare with babying him and stroking his hair and telling him how pretty he is. UGH ROSE YOU GOT ME FEELING SOME KIND OF (HORNY) WAY NOW ABOUT THIS😩

To the anon who asked that: I love you. Thank you

To rose: I love your stuff. Please keep it up❤️

AHHH I'M ALWAYS FEELING SOME KIND OF WAY ABOUT SEB!! And thank you, the feedback is so appreciated!!! &lt;3

Sebastian Stan x Reader; sub!seb, dom!reader, spanking- paddling, aftercare

ANY HATE WILL BE DELETED THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE DON'T LIKE, DON'T INTERACT; MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+

"Come on babe, it's not like you're that intimidating," Sebastian smirked, and you stopped in your tracks, staring down at him on the bed. He was on his back, resting on his elbows, legs casually spread apart.

You narrowed your eyes, tongue in cheek. You clicked your tongue. "On your stomach, now." Sebastian just stared at you. "Every time I have to repeat myself is another ten. You don't get to know what you start at. But I'd suggest moving." You crossed your arms, your tits pushing together, distracting him. "And that's another ten, better get to it Seb, you're getting near your record." At that, Sebastian scrambled, flipping over onto his stomach, breath ragged as he tried not to rut down into the bed.

"Phew, seventy is a lot sweetie, it's a good thing we're using your favorite paddle today," you said, as Sebastian moaned, already knowing exactly which one you were talking about. You grabbed it from the closet, the pink one with the heart cut out that left imprints on his ass. "We'll start off easy," you promised, and swung.

By the time you had gotten to fifty, Sebastian was crying, apologizing for his sass. When you got to sixty, he was begging you to forgive him, saying you were the most intimidating person he'd ever met. And by seventy, he was lax against the mattress. You set the paddle down, crawling onto the bed, settling against the headboard with Sebastian's head in your lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. After a few minutes, he began nuzzling into your stomach, and you slid down until his head was pillowed on your chest.

"There's my good boy, doing so well, you coming back yet? You take your time my darling boy, took your punishment so well, yes you did," you murmured, stroking Sebastian's hair, pressing kisses all along his hairline. "That's my pretty boy, look at you, so pretty, I've got the cutest baby."

"Mmm, sorry," he mumbled but you hushed him.

"No, none of that, you had your punishment and now it's over, you're good my sweet boy, I'm so proud of you, yes I am," you kissed his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyelids, nose, anywhere you could reach. A shy smile broke out across his face and he sighed in contentment.

"Love you baby," he sighed.

"Love you sweetheart," you replied, tucking his head into your chest.

[septembersghost]

it’s crazy because i always liked haylor but as time passes by and more songs come out i’m starting to realize that they were or potentially could have been soulmates because the way they write about each other is insane, i know theyre both in a relationship though and are happy (at least taylor is) but idk theyre always on my mind.. that “what if” really kills you😭

you don’t have to answer this but what songs do you think are haylor?! in terms of harry and taylor (including unrelated hs1 songs)

i just wrote you a long response to this and tumblr ate it 😭😫 but i'll try to say it again lol

they both have said they're the happiest they've ever been now, so i am willing to trust and take their word on that, and i truly want and hope that for them!

a friend of mine and i were just talking about this, and how fate isn't a strictly determined thing, that because we have agency, we have the ability to make decisions that alter outcome. no one is "meant" to be something or have specific things happen, there are different paths along the way, and things we can control, and things we can't at all. it's more like fate is lightly playing strings in the background, and you follow a melody. so because of that, there's not only "one" soulmate, but potential for love that people find. it's like that quote from the good place, "if soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made."

taylor found and made hers with joe, and has sustained it for six years, it's the beauty of why invisible string and mastermind can both exist in tandem. they were drawn together by breathless happenstance, and then she made a plan. it's clear from what she's written that that was right for her life. he quiets the noise for her, gives her a place to be safely held, compliments her mind, loves her for who she is as a real person. we know this from what she's written (and now what they've written together). she deserves that.

that doesn't mean that you never wonder about other situations - it's human nature to ask what-if. it doesn't undermine the devotion of what you have at all. it's why she said one of the things that has kept her up at night in the past is wondering what might have been, that was a theme for the album. obviously, if she's sharing that with us, then she shares far more with her partner, what we have is a tiny little cracked window, where they have an entire life and world (and that's how it should be). doubtless they've talked all these things through, and she knows what's okay to share, what's comfortable for both of them. i've seen people act like, "omg he must be upset that she's still thinking about ____," and it's missing the point. he respects and loves her enough to know she does that through her art as a form of processing and healing, he knows it all! he understands. she wouldn't be able to be this raw and vulnerable had she not worked really hard, singularly and with him and with those close to her in her life, to get here, and that's admirable.

so, phew!, to get me thus to question...? she's looking back on that situation and realizing she never got the answers she fully needed, and she still had some things to express and get off her chest, and it turns out, there was some upset and annoyance there (my friend wrote about this too). she just had to ask the questions, and send them out - like a message in a bottle - into the universe.

this is already long so i'm putting the song list under a cut for you <3

songs!!! anything i say is conjecture and fitting little puzzle pieces together in the way i hear them and the picture they paint, full disclosure i could always be wrong.

taylor: from red, we have message in a bottle and come back, be here. there's also the question of the very first night, and i know most people have decided it's about jg and from an earlier point in time, but hear me out - i have trouble believing she'd refer to that relationship as "children running," when the crux of the whole thing was that she was trying so hard to seem grown up and capable, and was feeling adrift and confused and belittled and hurt because of their age difference and the way that caused him to treat her. "i'd pick you up" seems ill-fitting for him too, there's an innocence to it. there's also, well, the mention of the night at the hotel and the polaroid picture, and i'm not saying that means anything, but if i hear a little bit of harry in it instead, well...i know i'm wrong on this one, okay, let me pretend. this song is so sweet that scarf stealer doesn't deserve it shhhh

as i mentioned on 1989: style, out of the woods, all you had to do was stay, i wish you would, how you get the girl, this love, i know places, wonderland. she gave us context and stories for some (i love that quote about style, "we should've just called it, 'i'm not even sorry'," the grammy museum performance of ootw talking about her anxiety, the story about how he drove past her house at night wanting to go in, the green eyes, the sinking ships, the cheshire cat smile...).

i'm going to link you to another post of zoe's too

i have a couple of stray thoughts about other songs but i feel like i should keep them to myself aksfdkljghkl

from midnights, question...?, of course. i know i mentioned this somewhere else, but there's also the fact that question...? borrows a little cadence from keep driving.

harry...there are so many 1D songs that i'll probably forget, but from my memory - perfect, if i could fly, olivia, stockholm syndrome, where do broken hearts go, happily, there's debate about something great because harry wrote it with jacknife lee and gary lightbody not long after taylor wrote the last time with them, and taylor and harry wrote songs (that have never seen the light of day, it's mentioned here) together at that point.

unreleased, there's half the world away, don't let me go, hunger, already home, without you, lay down...that whole spate of demo songs that leaked back in april.

he gave just a little bit of your heart, i love you, and someday to other artists (ariana, alex & sierra, michael buble)

from HS1: meet me in the hallway, two ghosts, only angel, woman, from the dining table

unreleased from HS1: him (which, question...? directly speaks to this situation), baby honey, complicated freak

(a reviewer of fine line said golden was about taylor because of, "i know you were way too bright for me," and i don't think that was his intent, but it permanently stuck in my mind, thank u rolling stone or whoever u were)

when taylor starts with, "good girl, sad boy," it's no joke. when you listen to all those songs, it was a lot of sad boy season.

like i said, this is only glimpses of the story and guessing in putting them together, but it does give us a lot.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 56

Yet again I'm repeating my constant (lately) plea ... for the love of the Wildmother and the rest, PLEASE tell us what's happening with the others ... we're DYING here, guys!

How did it go? Oh boy ... yeah ... Sam, you couldn't have been more wrong. But we're still SOOOOOOOO proud of our girl all the same! You rule, Marisha!

Wow ... WHY are you suddenly all FRENCH on this NordVPN ad, Samuel? What are you doing to us? That was just PAINFUL ...

The crazed way Laura delivered "in addition to that!" was just SO nuts it's adorable ... I loved it ...

COOKIES!!! YUM!!! ALWAYS room for cookies!

Yeah, I heard about Daggerheart! That looks SO COOL ... ooh, and JOE MAD ARTWORK!!! AWESOME!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!

Yeah ... given no Marisha it don't look good for checking in with the wayward trio THIS week ...

Oh gods yes, the goats ... I cannot wait to see where THIS is gonna go ...

Matt's making notes already ... never a good sign ...

Oh, the travel roll on the D20 for the first day ... oof ... Aabria? Okay, roll good ... 12? Phew ...

Sam rolls fir the SECOND day? Oh boy ...5?!!! Seriously, Sam? Oh no ... gah ...

Yes! PROVE it to the Flatworlder the truth once and for all!

Third day ... 2? Roll a D6? Ouch ... 5? Hmmm ... what does THIS mean? Oh fuck, a BLIZZARD?!!! Aaaaaaaah ... Great, and now they're gonna FREEZE to death! Yup, Imogen got no pants! She's gonna get COLD!!!

Oh gods, Ashley, what X-rated fresh hell have you wrought?

Ah, so Chetney's freezing his tiny arse off too ... ZIP UP THAT CHEST, CHET!!!

Imogen asks Fearne to sit on her ... oh gods, seriously? There's NO WAY that can't be construed well, is there?

Laura rolls ANOTHER 1 for the next day ... 3 on the D6? Oof ... Aabria: "Dost thou like the taste of butter?" LOL

WAHEY!!! Matt found the map!

Fuck, what the hell just hit Letters? Ouch ... 18 points of bludgeoning damage? Ow ... what the hell is THIS?!!!

Oooh, Telekinesis on the rock? Cool ...

Giants? Hmmm ... OH!!! NICE!!! FLOATING ROCK FOR THE WIN!!! Oh, she gonna throw it BACK?!!! Nice ... yeah, roll good, Laura! Yes! Roll 4 D10 of damage? Whoa ... 22? Nice ... BOOM!!! Stunned the fucker mid run!

Oh wow, the goats SLED to get away from predators! That is so cool ...

NATURAL 20!!! 49 points of damage? Holy fuck ... that was almost TRAGIC ...

Imogen is now gonna TRIP the other guy up? Oh nice ... ouch, that must hurt too ...

"The full tossed raccoon" ... XD

Wait, so a giant doesn't count as a humanoid ... hmmm ...

Yes! Fearne! Torch that ass!

Whoa ... FRIDA's gonna SHOOT OUT the guy's knees ... ouch ... 18 points on the FIRST hit, 16 on the second? AND they're firing AGAIN with an Action Surge ... ANOTHER 10 points of damage! Oooooooooh ... that was just NASTY ...

Yeah, they sure shouldn't press their luck after that ...

Making fun of Matt's goat impressions ... XD Bonus chin lifts ...

CAN goats swim?

DOES Fearne have Speak With Animals? Let's see ... apparently some goats enjoy "water play"? Oh gods ...

Donny speaks ... oh boy ... "Like a goat centipede?" Oh my fucking gods! XD

Chetney: "They're not seals! They won't survive 30 degree water!" Yeah, make a proper boat instead, please ...

Fashioning a log raft ... Chetney's in charge, PROBABLY a good call. Oh wait ... Deanna? Hmmm ... WITH Guidance ... it's 11? Hmmm again ... oh, Chetney's helping? Thank the gods ...

Aabria: "We're not leaving the goats cuz I LOVE THEM ..." :3

Oh, so Deanna's having a talk with FCG zbout their INTENTIONS ... here we go ... FCG: "Oh man, just imagine me as a heartbreaker, leaving a trail of wreckage behind." Deanna: "A single tread." FCG: "Yeah!" XD

I love how FCG just reverses the tables on her in the funniest way. But they're also being quite sweet. Deanna: "I've always wanted to be that birch." LOL

Camping for the night, then ...

Components ... Aabria: "Oh man, we're playing with STUFF?!!!"

Imogen: "I can't tell if it's just warm here or I pooped my pants!" Chetney: "Either way you win!" Oof ...

Commune? Interesting ... hmmm ... is this a moment of truth for the metallic cleric?

Wait ... is FCG actually getting a response? Sweet ... yeah, it's subtle, but very cool ... nice ... wait, is he actually SEEING the Changebringer? That's so cool ... and the LITERAL coin flip! Nice!

FCG: "Do you need help?" Oh ... is that a YES? Wow ...

Oh man ... this is SO POWERFUL ... wow indeed ... affirmation for FCG. So cool.

Fuck ... the flat earth thing AGAIN ... LOL

FCG: "You believe? But you're so cynical!" Deanna: "I put my faith more in PEOPLE."

Hmmmm ... Deanna's CONSTANT fear ...

The Changebringer's a cool, VIBING god, apparently ...

Imogen's thinking about trying to contact Laudna in her dreams ... unless she get sucked up into Ruidus ... hmmm ... is it really worth it? Apparently she has Disadvantage in her sleep ... crap ...

Planerider Chetney's back ... XD

Taking turns on watch ... FRIDA goes first. Nothing happens. Yup ...

Deanna is ATTUNED to smoochies ... XD

Knock off one exhaustion point, then.

Laura (deep voice): "Mage buff! I'm so Mage buff, you guys!"

Matt: "Using Titanic logic ..." (snort!)

Matt: "Who has the highest intelligence here?" Travis (as Chetney): "I DO!!! Which is fucking terrifying!"

Fit the goats on the raft ... wow ... this is insane. And therefore hilarious ...

Wait ... did Deanna REALLY just KILL Gerry? O.O

Yes. The goats are now TERRIFIED. As they should be ...

1,000 to 1,200 pounds each? Blimey ...

Oh my gods this is a riotous clusterfuck and I am LOVING IT ... LOL

Fearne speaks to Donny Boy ... oh boy ... "He exploded!" Yeesh ... "I don't wanna explode!" Fuck! Cry laughing, I swear ... and Patchwork is EATING Gerry's annihilated remains ... dear gods ... "We're gonna stay and eat Gerry!" Fuuuuuuuuuck ...

Carrying on down the river on the raft without the goats, then ...

Ooooh ... suddenly it's all dark ... hmmmm ... and misty? Double hmmmm ...

Wow, this is just like some proper full on PRIMORDIAL forest, ain't it? Creepy ...

Sam: "Did you make a rollerblade warthog?!"

No wildlife sounds AT ALL ... oh, that is just SO WRONG ...

That's right, Chetney DID bite FRIDA ... and now it's actually OUT LOUD ... hmmm ... yeah, Deanna is FREAKING OUT ...

NO!!! Chetney CANNOT hear what Imogen and FRIDA are saying TELEPATHICALLY!!!

Now FRIDA's worried too. Yes. They SHOULD be ...

Ashley's rolling for the first day of travel on the river ... 2? OF FUCK!!! She has to roll a D8 ... Laura: "We're gonna die!"

Oh lawd, something's coming in the woods ... fuck ... yes. Kill the "engine" ...

And now it's pitch black ... put on some lights! Oh, that is NOT an improvement ... whoa ... oh great, Will o' the Wisps, lovely ... O.O

Uh-oh ... NOW what?

Hunter's Bane. Yup ... there's Fey energy out there ... oh shit, pixies? Never good ...

Oh crap, what the hell is THIS fucking thing? Please have mercy on us, Matthew ...

Ewwwwwww ... this thing is just ... yuck ...

Ashley (with her mouth full): "Guidance!" XD

Crap ... and now it's in the river ... and CHASING THEM!!! Matt: "And we're gonna go to break!" NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

We're back, and ... ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Nice map! And terrifying creature, too ... oh gods help us ...

Control Water ... and now they're going TOWARDS IT too ... great ...

Turmoil! Yay!

Tentacles! Yikes! 22 points of bludgeoning damage to FRIDA, and 18 points of bludgeoning damage ... and now they're BOTH GRAPPLED!!! SHIT!!! AND a tongue attack? Crap! No joy against FRIDA, though ... phew ...

Elect to FAIL? What?

FCG: "Nobody tongues FRIDA except for ME!!!"

Fearne tries to torch it! Strangely underwhelming, though ... damn water beasties ...

Inflict Wounds at 4th Level? Ouch ... 6 D10s of damage ... dice maths ... 40 points of Necrotic damage? Holy fuck! Nice, Imogen! Whoa ... cloudy black eyes? Scary shit ...

BOOM!!! FRIDA shoots and FUCKS SHIT UP!!! Sharpshooter! Yeah .... NO!!! Miss! One more ... A HIT!!! 46 points of damage overall! Yeah! Wait ... no, 52 points! DOUBLE yeah!

Evil pixies! Shiiiiit! Laura: "Is this Charmed? Am I being Charmed?" Matt: "No! You are Polymorphed into a fox!" FUCK!!!

Tries the same on Deanna ... FAIL!!! Phew ... Deanna: "No! Shoo! Go home!"

And Fearne just SHOOS the same off! Nice ...

Deanna full on fucking DROWNS the pixies! Nice ... and that BREAKS concentration, so Imogen is BACK!!! Phew ...

FCG wants to help FRIDA ... so what, they THROW THEMSELVES at the creature? Really? Ah, no ... they just fire the grapple at its "toothy maw" ... and Sam rolls a 2 ... hmmm ... Spiritual Weapon, then! Slightly bigger than Deanna's. "Because it's a competition!" Znd they try the grapple again and LATCH ONTO THE BEAST!!!

Deanna realises all the robits really DO have a deathwish! LOL

Chetney pours on beaucoup Slashing AND Thunder Damage with Turmoil! NATURAL 20!!! Nice! Double damage!

And now it's gonna bite FRIDA ... yeah, sage to say 26 hits! And now they're SWALLOWED!!! FUCK!!! And now more tentacles! Imogen takes 17 points of bludgeoning damage and now SHE'S grappled too ... but Deanna's a miss! Phew ...

Fearne gets an attack of opportunity! Slashing it with her sickle ... 6 misses! Crap! But now it's her turn, so ... NICE!!! Strangle the fucker! And now Mister chucks some flaming shit! Nice!

No telepathic attack with FRUDA in it! Okay ... Imogen casts Inflict Wounds instead. 29 points of Necrotic damage! And Telepathic Shove? Yeah, that works ... bur doesn't actually DO much ... yeah ...

FRIDA uses bonus action to reload and uses Sharpshooter ... despite disadvantage, Nat20! 29 points if damage from INSIDE!!! AND IT VOMITS THEM OUT!!! BONUS!!! And now they're getting washed away in the river! Shit!

Pathetic pixie can't do shit on FRIDA! Phew ...

And Travis rolls a NAT20!!! ALSO a fail for another one. It just vanishes in disgust.

Deanna casts Mass Cure Wounds ... and then COMPLETELY FAILS to do anything else ...

FCG let's go znd grapples a nearby tree! Now for a mace attack with Spiritual Weapon ... 16 points of damage!

Beastie is HURT now, might be looking to BOLT ...

Shatter? Oooooh ... Chetney trieste blow down the tree to flatten the fucker ... AND IT TANKS its con save? Whoo ... so the tree crushes it ... CHETNEY GETS THE HDYWTDT!!! "Timber, motherfucker!" Oh yeah, it is IMPALED ...

So that's that ... and they carry on like nothing happened. After Deanna finally shoos off the pixies. "Your guy's dead! Go home!"

So there's no light ... NO LIGHT!!! (Sorry ... went all Florence + the Machine there for a second ... XD)

Imogen, DO NOT invoke a waterfall right now!

Fearne wants to talk to the fish to see what's ahead ... IS THERE anything normal in this water? Oh boy ... catfish? Are we SURE?!!! Okay, here we go ... wait, is she GOING IN?!!! She is turning into a fish! Blimey ... no, she's just gonna stick her head in and cast Speak With Animals.

Oh ... UGLY BLIND FISH!!! Lovely ...

Wow ... Fearne completely blanks on what she's even saying to it ... ye gods ...

Fearne thinks the fish with the creepy second mouth is CUTE ... "the Wolf King"? What the FUCK?!!!

Fearne: "What's he eat?" Nasty fish: "Probably you."

Oh okay, and now it's ON HER ARM!!! Bloody hell ... "Bye!" as she YEETS it off ...

Chetney thinks perhaps HE is the Wolf King ...

"Recognise the Alpha" returns again ... Deanna: "I'm still weirdly turned on by that! It's the goat's blood!" Matt: "Nature's aphrodisiac."

Night falls and they go to sleep ... FCG's on watch ... CRAP!!! RAPIDS!!! AAAAH!!!

FRIDA's watch next ... and now Deanna's up too ... heart-to-heart ... and they're talking zbout the possibility of FRIDA being a werewolf, and the future in general ... hmmm ...

Prayers to the Dawnfather ...

New day ... Travis rolls a 17! Oh thank the gods ...

Chetney's keeping his nose open for unpleasantness ... particularly undead ... yup ...

Deeper, darker, more unpleasant ...

Another day ... Aabria rolls shit ... no! Here we go again ...

Curse Geysers? REALLY?!!!

Oh bollocks ... just FUMIGATED!!! This is SO BAD ...

Fearne and Deanna take a direct hit ... 2 points of exhaustion each and their hit points are reduced by 5? NASTY!!!

Fearne and Deanna both: "I don't like it!"

Ruins on the banks ... oh, here we go ... and they go aground now. Smart, especially after what just happened.

So there's a tower ... a mile or two away ... hmmm ...

FCG's viking blood bread ... okay ... AND it gives them BACK the lost hit points! Perfect.

Even telepathically Imogen's mouth is full ... "Thank you."

Wait, they are SERIOUSLY gonna walk a mile and a half through the Savalirwood?

Oh yeah, this place isjudt UNPLEASANT. There us just MALICE all around them.

The tower is in sight. And it's NOT the only one, either ... yup, this us what they've been looking for.

It's Elven ... oh yeah, this is DEFINITELY the place. Wait ... WEBS?!!! SERIOUSLY?!!! Come on! Do not do THAT to us, Matt ...

23 with disadvantage on Survival? Nice roll, Ashley!

Are there any trees around? Matt: "Oh yeah, there are SO MANY trees."

Those are some RIDICULOUS high stealth rolls, guys!

Thought Eater, the Crimson Shade ... so cool ... and a seriously SWEET entrance.

A massive elk? Whoa ... and it's AGGRESSIVE too ... fuck, that's it for the Shade, then. And this thing has NO FACE. And a FUCKLOAD of legs. With two it's just DRAGGING ... yuck! Oh my GODS and it also has HUMANOID ARMS ...

Travis: "This frequency's been compromised!"

"Long broken egg sacs"? REALLY?!!!

Deanna: "It is FUCKED in here!"

Imogen: "Chh -- we can only hear each other in or heads, there's no need to whisper." FRIDA: "Chh -- she's right."

BODIES in the trees? Actually IN the trees? Charming.

Matt: "And that's where we're gonna call it a night!" Just as he gives us all nightmares ...

[captain-tch]

Paint It Black (Eddie Munson x GN!Reader)

The line between friends and lovers has never been more unclear, especially when black nail polish is involved

"Hm," I admired the bottles in my hands, tilting them over in deliberation. "What colour do you reckon?"

Eddie was resting lazily on the bed, ankles knotted together in the air. His fingers were busy rolling a joint as he mouthed the words to the music blasting through the radio. His hands were moving at the speed of lightning, eyes glued to the task. 

“Eddie?” I waited for him to respond, still nothing. 

 I reached over, flicking him in the forehead. "Edward Munson." 

He instantly flinched, snapping his head in my direction. Somehow he managed to keep a hold of the joint. He looked from me, to the bottles of nail polish scattered around me like a shrine, and then back at me. 

Raising a brow, he answered. "Yes?"

"What colour do you reckon, red," I lifted the bottle up, the dark colour glinting in the artificial light, "like the blood of my victims, or black," I paused, allowing my voice to lower an octave. "Like my soul?"

"You have a soul?" As soon as the words left his lips a cheeky grin was pasted across his face.

I feigned disbelief, trying hard to distract myself from the pounding of my own heart. His smile set my nerves alight and one of these days, I was convinced he would toss me that grin and I would combust.

"You've clearly forgotten what one looks like, since you sold yours for your devil club."

Eddie huffed a laugh, finishing off rolling his joint by licking the edges. I tried to look elsewhere, pushing down the fantasies that threatened to spiral quickly. I gulped, forcing my gaze on a random spot in the carpet. 

"How'd you know I didn't sell it for you?"

I froze. I wanted to believe what he was saying was genuine; that wasn’t how our relationship worked. We were never serious, it's why I never dared to cross the line between friends and partners. He'd make dark jokes about his deadbeat parents and being the oldest senior in high school, and I just played along, making equally crude jokes about my own trauma.

This time, I really didn't want to keep the joke running. Before I could force the words out I've been suppressing for years, instincts kicked in. "Yeah, well you need a refund."

For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of sadness drowning his features. In the next second the sadness was gone, replaced with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. . "I'd need more than a refund, I'd need compensation."

"For what?!"

"Having to put up with your shit all these years."

"If I remember correctly you're the only one who got us arrested."

"That was one time," Eddie exclaimed, hands flying wide. "I get us arrested one time and I never hear the end of it."

A bubble of laughter erupted from my gut. In a moment I unravel, laughter exploding so hard from my body my stomach begins to hurt. I can barely muster the energy to stay upright, falling backwards against Eddie's chest. I can feel his chest vibrating, his laughter acting like a drum against my head. 

If I could freeze time, I would live in this moment forever.

"Phew," Eddie huffs, echoes of laughter still in his voice. "I needed that."

I nodded. I realised then I still hadn't moved, my body still so close to his I could smell the weed clinging to his skin. How I felt earlier was only a snippet of how I felt now. This was the moment I could relive for eternity. The warmth of his body so close to mine, the soothing rise and fall of his chest, the heartbeat I could hear if I just moved an inch. I wondered if it was as fast as mine right now.

"What was the question again?"

I almost fell into hysterics again, slapping him on the chest. I didn’t dare say I almost forgot myself, his mere presence intoxicating me. "Red or black?"

"Always black - it matches everything."

Nodding in agreement, I pulled myself up reluctantly, grabbing the black nail polish. I shook the bottle, twisting the cap and very delicately passing the brush over the first nail. A distinct click sounded besides me, followed by Eddie's deep breath. A plume of smoke surrounded us.

We fell into a comfortable silence, the tunes of the radio droning quietly in the background. I finished off painting one hand, taking a moment to admire the handiwork.

Another cloud of smoke blew past me. "Those nails are sick."

"Thanks," I gushed, curling my fingers inwards to inspect the nails more carefully. Sure, some of it had smudged around my cuticles and a splodge could be seen on my fingertip, but they were flawless to me.

I began to work on my other hand, tongue sticking out in concentration. Somehow I’d managed to cover the entire tip of my thumb in polish. I groaned out of frustration, trying to tilt my hand awkwardly to get the right angle. I could feel Eddie’s eyes following my every movement. 

"Do you need a hand?" Eddie watched me trying, and failing to apply the polish using my non dominant hand. "I mean, you seem more than capable of doing it yourself, not that you can't paint your own nails."

“My brain ran with endless possibilities. I wasn’t sure how I could cope with him touching me for so long without turning into a firework. When was the last time I moisturised my hands? Why do they feel so damp now? I felt as if I was on the brink of short circuiting. 

“I look like I’ve just dipped my thumb in one of those old timey ink pots.” I couldn’t comprehend what I was saying, desperate to keep talking so I could find a way to collect myself or to politely turn him down. 

“I think it looks pretty cool, it’s very Ozzy.” He held his hands up in the air, almost like a surrender. “But hey, they’re your hands.” 

Everything in my being was screaming at me to take him up on his offer, my heart begging for me to finally give in to the temptations that have silently followed our friendship all these years. I ignored the warnings, letting my heart control my body as I wordlessly laid my hand on his thigh, gesturing for him to take the polish bottle. 

He gently cradled my hand as if it was glass. He took the polish brush effortlessly across my nails, careful brush strokes ensuring no liquid touched my skin. I felt as if he was the artist and I was the canvas. 

"You're a natural." I breathed out, afraid of speaking too loudly and fracturing this moment. 

He spoke just as quietly, looking up at me for a brief moment through his lashes. "I learned from the best."

I was grateful for this - the chance to stare at him with no fear of him catching me. His big brown doe-like eyes were hyper focused on my hand. He blew his curling mop out of his face as best he could with a joint hanging out the side of his mouth, repeatedly sending a gust of air.

I don't know how I plucked up the bravery. I reached out with my free hand, slowly tucking the hair behind his ear. He froze, like a deer caught in headlights. For a moment anxiety hijacked my senses, yet I felt not a single bit of regret. It felt natural.

"Better?"

I felt my breath catch in my throat. His voice was so soft, I had to strain to hear it. "Better."

Clearing his throat, he returned his attention to my hands. Just like that, the fantasy ended. We returned to our roles of friends, ignoring the intimacy we had just shared. I found now that I had a sip, I was craving more. 

He finished the rest with precision, dramatically screwing the nail polish closed and gestured to my hands. "Voila!"

I skillfully hid my disappointment, taking the opportunity to inspect my nails. There wasn’t a single flaw. Besides the patch of black polish drying the half top of my thumb, I would have believed they were done by a professional. 

"You did it better than I did!" I exclaimed.

"Only the best for you."

He coughed awkwardly, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. I grinned brightly at him, simply smacking him lightly across the chest. I pushed down the alternate realities where he didn't correct himself, I looked at him and he looked at me, and we would know that's how our love story would begin. I tried to repress the fantasies of him instinctively reaching out to hold my hand, to caress my cheek, to love me.

I failed, miserably.

His eyes widened a fraction, as if he'd just realised what he said. He began stuttering. "For my, for my best friend. Only the best for my bestie."

An ice dagger pierced my heart. I hoped my smile didn't waver; something must have shown on my face as he was staring at me inquisitively.

"You're being quiet."

"And?"

"You're never quiet."

"I think you're talking about yourself there Eddie."

And it happened again. We never talked about anything serious, never crossing that line between friends and something else. The concern on his face remained, even when he broke out into a big smile.

"You got me there."

A beat of silence passed, and then another. I used it as an excuse to glance down at my hands, tenderly pressing my fingers into the polish, testing if it had dried. As I lifted my finger up, I instantly realised my mistake. Sticky, black polish stuck to the pad of my finger, a huge smudge now marking the nail.

Eddie reached out, grabbing at your arm. "My craftsmanship!"

"It's okay, it's cooler like this." 

"No, let me fix it. Hand me the polish."

“But Ozzy -” 

“Looks messy on purpose, it’s a metal thing.” I didn’t want to point out the flaw in his logic, how the polish drowning the skin of my thumb was also an accident. It made me slowly realise maybe these feelings I’d been experiencing weren’t so one sided after all. 

Tentatively, I passed the bottle to Eddie, pausing before dropping it into his hands. Maybe I'd inhaled some of the smoke from the joint, or maybe a shot of bravery coursed through me. Before I knew it I spat out the words that would redefine our relationship for good. "Sounds like you want an excuse to be near me."

A soft curve of the lips. He slightly ducked his head, hiding behind his hair. From where I was sat I could see the faintest tinge of red blossom across his cheeks. "Is it that obvious?"

Warmth blossomed in my chest. Without thinking I moved towards him, fingers tilting his head towards me. "I don't mind it at all."

His shoulders slumped. Relief overtook his expression as he took the bottle, correcting the nail. I relished in his hand delicately holding mine, and this time, I did nothing to hide my blatant admiration.

"Hey, maybe next time I can do yours?"

Eddie smiled. "That'd be so metal."

[maguro13-2]

What happens after Ai Hoshino's Death?

Ai Hoshino : (waking up) Eh? Hey, I'm finally awake! I'm no longer feel the pain. Come to think of it...I wonder if I can't feel anything with the arms and legs capable of moving my entire body...I mean have I-I still have arms but my legs are...Huh? Where are my legs? Kids! Could you guys tell me where mommy's legs are?

(Baby Ruby except for Aqua gets scared of Ai)

Ai Hoshino : What's wrong, Ruby? What are you screaming like that? (Baby Ruby runs off) Ruby sweetie! Come back! Mommy's not afraid of you! Please, Ruby. Just give mommy a hug and there's nothing to be afraid of. Hmm? Aqua, why aren't you running away from me? You think that it's because the man who mercifully stabbed me in the chest to...(realizing) Wait a sec, if I'm really dead by getting stabbed in the chest, does this mean that I have been turned into...

(it is revealed that Ai Hoshino has been turned into a ghost)

Ai Hoshino (as a Ghost) : Oh my! I've been turned into a ghost! Author, what have you done to me?! Please, put my soul back into my body! I wanna to be an Idol! I don't wanna be a ghost forever! (Notices that her body is missing) Eh? Hey, Where did my body go? (realizing) They took my body to a morgue did they? Curse you, author of Kaguya-sama...[yelling] CURSE YOUUUUUUU!

[cuts back to Ai with Aqua and Ruby in real life]

Ai Hoshino : And that's what happens if there's a person comes by to your doorstep and attacks you easily with a weapon and I got a weapon for self-defense.

(Door knocking)

Ai Hoshino : Hold on, you two. I'll be right back, Mommy's got to take care of those nasty intruders. (Holds out a bat and walks to the door, offscreen)

Aqua's voice : Wait, Mother! I wouldn't open that door if I were you!

(door opens)

AI's Killer/Ryouske : Congrats on your do-[panicking] H-Hey! What are you doing?! Put down that...

(Sounds of Ai beating up Ryouske while he screams in pain)

Ai Hoshino : You think holding a sneak attack would be just enough to kill me?! This is how you do a sneak attack! I got self defense you idol-killing faggot! Don't you ever do sh*t to me ever again, you hear me?! If you do that to me, this is will do it on you!

(Ai comes back with her bat covered in Ryouske's blood)

Ai Hoshino : Phew! Well now. (Drops bat) Now that's how you use some self-defense.

(STAB!)

Ai Hoshino : GAAAH! Or not. I think I need to call a doctor.

[sugarhillpark]

hihi! just checking up on you and the progress of the final (perhaps) installment of my fav rarepair fic ¿

lol I was wondering if I'd left that poor fic languishing long enough for you to send one of these check-ups, lovely stranger. Or stranger who is extremely determined to see fanfic Ray and Mikey fuck nasty. Either way it's pretty cool. I'm alright! I struggled along writing every day at a fantastically slow pace for weeks, got past what felt like that rough point, had a big sigh like ‘phew it's gonna be cruisy now’, and then... proceeded to write absolutely nothing on that fic for weeks. Watched a tonne of spooky movies. Dicked around with unrelated vampire rikey fic and vampire rayrard fic. Typical me antics. The one (1) fanfic task I've appointed myself lately is finishing this fic asap and instead I now have so many unpublished wips I've stopped counting them because I'm afraid. And lollll you're so real for that 'perhaps'. I am not 100% sure about ‘last’ part I'm not gonna lie. Wondering if possibly this fic is cursed and I keep updating it but it somehow never ends. They're all just unbearably horny and sweet for each other in the worst way on Halloween night forever. I'm kidding, I'll finish it, but yeah, I'm not sure at this point if the word count is gonna get too obscenely huge for one chapter. There's like 7k that's edited and ready to publish but who knows how many more words to pull it together. If it hits anything above double that it'll be 2 chapters I think. Anyway, thank you for being sweet and apologies for the typically vague update! I’m sorry I couldn’t post the last part in October, I really wanted to. Here's a preview to prove that I'm doing something. This isn't the first paras of the chapter like I've put up in your asks before so I'm tucking it under a cut in case you want no (super minor) spoilers (but it's my favourite part of the chapter so far 😊)

* “Is it alright if I hug you?” Ray asks. Mikey manages a sound somewhere between a snort and a giggle, wiping his arm across his face and smiling. “Is that what you ask guys after you put your tongue in their mouth?” he jokes. “Sometimes.” Ray looks flushed and downcast and Mikey wants to give him permission to hold any part of him in his hands. “I’m gonna get snot on your jacket,” he protests softly. Ray looks down at the leather on his chest. He hesitates and then tugs the zipper all the way down and shrugs it off his shoulders, leaving his chest and stomach as naked as Mikey’s legs. Mikey blinks at Ray’s peaked nipples and the softness of his stomach curving over the edge of his tight pants as he sits and then looks back at Ray’s face with wide teary eyes. “There.” Ray says. He looks self-conscious but he’s smiling. “Not that that jacket wasn’t totalled already, but now you can’t be polite about it, Mikey Way.” He spreads his arms and makes a ‘come here’ gesture with his right one. “I’m gonna shower in like five minutes anyway, come and get snot on me, go crazy.” Mikey’s silent laughter shakes his ribs as he melts into Ray’s arms. “You’re so weird,” he mumbles as he wraps a careful arm around Ray’s shoulder and rests his head on his chest. “Why do you think your brother latched onto me at college?” Ray smiles again and Mikey can hear it in his voice and feel it in his chest. “Probably wanted someone pretty to make out with at parties,” Mikey murmurs and Ray’s chest jumps against his face as that gets a soft laugh. “I think Frankie’s probably got that covered now.” He pauses and then his fingers touch Mikey’s hair. “What do you think they’re gonna do for a second date after all this?” “Sex,” Mikey says flatly and Ray laughs and nods against the side of his face. “Gerard gets away with so much shit it’s unreal.” 

[ideas-on-paper]

Monster Hunter Tri Diary, Part 7: Royal monster guts dinner with Lagiacrus

For previous entries, search for #monster hunter tri diary

Disclaimer: Text is paraphrased from my localization and might slightly deviate from the English version.

Quest: Guts: It's What's for Dinner

Alright, since things are about to get a bit intense, I got myself the complete Hunter's armor. I had to fiddle a bit to get the complete set, since I'm not able to make the helm and faulds at this time due to lacking Ice Crystals. So, to keep money and resource investments at a minimum, I forged the parts for the chest, arms, and legs at the smithy, and bought myself the pieces for the head and waist from the Outfitter. The reason I want the armor is the Vision skill it comes with; it will automatically show the position (and type) of any large monster on the map, without having to mark it with a paintball. (Which, as we will soon see, will come quite in handy for this quest.)

I appreciate that the quest name is a reference to an American beef advertisement. The fact that there are so many meat advocates in Monster Hunter Tri makes this extra hilarious. Kudos to the humor of the translators!

Our client is a gentleman's cook whose master is giving a full moon banquet for the nobles - and to impress their high-born guests, the cook wants to treat them to some Epioth tripes. Well, I suppose I'm gonna kill a few innocent Epioth who never harmed a fly for some rich dude's feast - another one to add to the list of very life-essential aid I've provided so far.

Guild Sweetheart: "Y'know, I live for my work here, so I'm here again to give you more tips." Um... here? What do you mean with "here"? I don't see you anywhere around the base camp, so I suppose your voice is coming from somewhere off-screen. But anyway, I appreciate the help.

So, the quest info says the environment is stable, but for some reason, I see a huge leviathan in area 11. Hm, suspicious.

And there's only one single Epioth in area 10 (usually, up to three are swimming around there). Seriously, they couldn't have made it much more obvious that something's off. It's kind of reminiscent of the Sinking Feeling quest from Freedom Unite (the low rank quest where the Tigrex pops by), but at least that one gives you a vague warning in the quest description. (I really wanna know who the jokesters in the MH Tri dev team were who said "Oh, let's just throw a Lagiacrus in there completely unannounced." Bet they were chuckling their asses off when they saw the players shitting bricks.) Anyway, off to area 11 it is.

And there he is! The Lord of the Seas, making his entrance by shooting an unsuspecting Epioth like a rocket.

Guild Sweetheart: "Oh no!" Excellent choice of words - couldn't have put it better myself.

"This creature before you is the Lagiacrus, the sea monster that has been ravaging our poor village!" Yep, I know - I saw him in the intro. (You gotta hand it to Capcom, though: Ever since 2nd gen, they’ve developed a habit to show off their flagships in the most memorable ways possible.)

"Very bad timing... Relax... Breath... Phew. Now let's get out of here, quickly!" Yes, ma'am! That was my exact plan.

I was briefly considering snatching the monster list info for the Lagi (since I won't have a chance to do so for quite a while), but he spotted me immediately. Well, time to get the hell out of here.

On the other hand, this gives me a bit of time to gather the monster guts in area 10; when big monsters are "triggered" (displayed as red with the Vision skill), they will stay in an area longer than when they're calm (displayed as blue with the Vision skill). The Epioth are back in their usual numbers as well, so let's try our best to pick up these guts before the Lagiacrus shows up.

I actually managed to gather all the necessary monster guts before the Lagiacrus came back. I could've already left at this point, but since I kinda wanted to get the monster list info, I positioned myself at the very edge of the underwater area, making sure I had a good view of the passage leading to area 11, and waited.

Okay, the Lagiacrus turns blue... He's swimming in the direction of area 10... Quick, open that menu! Wait for it... wait for it... There he is! Wii cursor is in position, snatch that info, aaand... Thank you so much, dear Lagi! :-) (And now let's get back to the base camp, double time.)

Before delivering the guts, I decided to throw out the first-aid meds to scrounge myself some Paintballs from the box. I might not need them now, but it doesn't hurt to have some in stock once I switch to a different armor later. (Also, the Guild can totally spare the money - if I'm getting these supplies for free, you can be sure I'll make use of them.)

Moga Village (day)

The hunting fleet is back, yay! :-) That means we can now also farm fish materials.

The ships of the hunting fleet (or rather "ship", since there's only one at this point) look kind of interesting. The sail appears to be made out of monsters' hide rather than fabric, and the whole framework seems to be made out of giant tusks.

Guild Sweetheart: "Is it true? You were attacked by the Lagiacrus? Show me the tooth marks!" Umm, weren't you there? I mean, not physically, but I could hear you talking and from what you were saying, it was pretty clear you could see what was going on as well.

"I can't believe you made it back. You're tough... monster-though! Well, luck probably played a role as well." Nah, that was all thanks to my legendary scaredy-cat tactic. It's very effective.

"While you were on the quest, I chatted with the Guild a bit." Uh, but you were chatting with me? How can you talk to me through telepathy and simultaneously talk with the Guild? (Multitasking abilities are magic, I tell you.)

And we have our first Urgent Quest: To hunt some Ludroth. As the Guild Sweetheart informs us: "My comprehensive (and very heavy) monster guide says: "Ludroth. Carnivorous monster living near bodies of water. Prone to violence." (Love how she adds that the monster guide is very heavy for good measure. xD)

"...Oh dear. Well, it was nice working with you! I-I mean, no worries! This is a Moga Woods monster, what do they know? You can do this! Probably."  Why, thank you for your continued confidence. But I can assure you, after completing "Handle with Care" and "Troublesome Pair" in MH1, I don't think there’s anything left that can shock me. Whatever you throw at me, I've seen worse.

Big brother: "Yay, the hunting fleet is back! The Captain said they only escaped by a gnat's whisker. Wow, I didn't know gnat's have whiskers." Well, maybe that's because they don't? xD (I actually haven't seen the English version of this; in my localization, he uses an idiom literally meaning "hair-sharp" and says "I didn't even know you could grind hair sharp", which is pretty funny. xD)

Little brother: "The hunting fleet is super important! They go fishing and stuff like that, for food! Mom says without the ships, all of us would starve. But two of the three ships got destroyed. Does that mean two thirds of us will go hungry? My brother probably won't let me eat anything!" Well, looks like the "future alpha male" (which is the big brother's nickname in-game) is asserting his dominance early on. But don't worry: If you really have to go hungry, I'll give you some of my food. :-)

I love how the fishermen all have their own personalities. The Red Spear Hunter is kind of the "cool-headed" one (and frankly, the only reasonable guy among them). He is really pissed about "the fleet captain being stupid as ever and the Black Spear crew singing shanties". Not sure if you're allowed to talk about your superior that way, but damn if the "I'm surrounded by idiots" vibes aren't relatable. xD

"The Black Spear captain always said he wanted to be a bard. But I just want to fish!" Terrible, isn't it? You just want to do your job, but a grown-up class clown keeps disturbing you. Honestly, I can relate.

"In the ocean, there are just as many monsters as on land, maybe even more." That's kind of the thing, yeah - even today, we don't know much about the creatures living in the depths of the sea. (Which is why new species of deep sea fish are continuously being discovered.)

The Red Spear Hunter also explains that their job is pretty dangerous, since they can get attacked by monsters at any time. "We could hunt the monsters, but that just isn't our specialty. We would need bigger ships for that. But hunting fish is our thing!" Okay, how about this: I'm the hunter hired by this village, so hunting monsters is my job. So, I'm gonna take care of the monsters, and you can fish in peace. Sounds like a fair deal, right?

Meanwhile, the Black Spear Hunter seems more like a lost hobby pirate. His dialogue pretty much only consists of his self-composed shanties. Gotta agree with the Red Spear Hunter here: That guy would've been better off as a bard! xD

His shanties are kinda interesting though since they tell the story of what happened to the hunting fleet. One of them, "a song in honor of the proud hunting fleet" called "Phantom at starbord", tells about how they got attacked by the Lagiacrus: "The beast shocked us on the high seas; lightning cracked! Oh Gods! We were running out of breath! (Fleet Captain, speaking voice): If only you would, Black Spear! Be silent and row! The Lagiacrus! Row!" (I think it's kind of funny how even the Fleet Captain finds him annoying. xD) "Oh no, what now? It comes closer! The Lagiacrus *glug* *glug* *glug*" (And there goes the first ship, I suppose.)

The story is continued in a different song, “a melody of unspeakable tragedy that moves you to tears”, which tells of the sinking of his own ship: "A cracking, oh terror. A cracking, oh terror. A cracking broke the mast. The Lagiacrus dashed away. Salt water sp-laA-shes! And the final hour of my boat has come. Salt water splashes (luckily I don't lie at the bottom of the sea)"

"*sniff* Farewell, boat with my name." Idk, but I've got a feeling you're happy it hit your boat rather than you. xD

The Fleet Captain just acts like a boastful, competitive teenager. He is really butthurt that some "landlubber" of a hunter wants to outstrip the "proud hunting fleet". As far as he's concerned, they are "the heroes of this town", and since the hunting fleet also hunts monsters from time to time, that makes us "rivals". Well, I think I sort of understand what Red Spear meant when he said the Fleet Captain was stupid. xD

Fleet Captain: "If our three ships team up, we're three times as good as you! Right? Right?! Three of us... You are one... Minus two... Nine in mind... Yep! That's right!" I love how the guy can't even do the simplest mental math, yet still somehow managed to get the position of the fleet captain. xD (But isn't that just like in real life, though? For some reason, so many people happen to be in leading positions who just puff themselves up and scream "I am the leader!" loud enough - somehow, many people don't seem to realize there's a difference between acting as if you're competent and actually being competent.)

Fleet Captain, about the Fishmongress: "If she gets angry, she's worse than the Lagiacrus." Well, given that two of you are complete dumbasses, I can't really blame her for giving you a bollocking.

"You believe you can take on a Ludroth? Very cocky, hunter." Funny that you of all people are the one to call me cocky.

He actually gives me some advice how to kill the Ludroth, but he doesn't forget to add "If you kill the Ludroth, let everyone know it was thanks to my tip!" Just make sure you don't forget to tell the world about the glory of the Fleet Captain and his infinite wisdom - even when he helps me, he still wants the laurels for it.

Village Chief: "Now you finally saw the scumbag! The Azure Lightning! The Lord of the Seas! The... stinking sea devil! Yes, I made that name up." The Chief seems to take the matter with the Lagiacrus real personal - you can already sense there's some kind of backstory here.

Btw, the Caedeus theme starts playing during this conversation. Nice foreshadowing, Capcom.

"Glad you came back in one piece! I had forgotten to take measurements for your coffin!" Charming kind of humor you have there, Chief.

He also remarks on the hunting fleet being back safe and sound, just like myself. Actually, if I had done the monster guts quest first, would I have been able to unlock the hunting fleet sooner? (Since it seems to be tied to the monster guts quest.)

Chief: "We've lost two boats, but those can be replaced. Lives can't." Words of wisdom - lives can't be compensated with any sort of material value.

So, since I'm part of the village now, the Fishmongress also lets me have my share of the catch. I guess it’s the same as me getting a share of the farm products: The hunters assigned to a village offer the people protection, and they give them a share of their products as provision.

The Power Paddle reduces the time of sea voyages by half a day. I believe in 3U, it shortened voyages by a full day. I think that's due to the day-night-rhythm. (Since 3U didn't have that and a day in 3U is basically half a day in Tri.)

The Power Paddle reduces the time of sea voyages by half a day. As far as I remember, it shortened voyages by a full day in 3U. I think that's due to the day-night-rhythm. (Since 3U didn't have that and a day in 3U is basically half a day in Tri.)

And the ship actually sets sail! I always think it's cool if the "item farming" is not just something you select in a menu, but has some physical action going along with it.

Item vendor: "What's so mysterious about mystery bones? The mystery what's so mysterious about them?" Well, whatever it is, I think it's forever going to remain... a mystery. xD

Btw, I immediately delivered the items for the villager request to upgrade the mushroom box, since I just got that. Right now, I still have 163 resource points left; I suppose I'll have to sprinkle in a hunt in the Moga Woods sooner or later.

However, not today, since we have the very urgent quest to slay some Ludroth. Time to get ready for an epic battle on the beach!

To be continued

[yeagerdaydreams]

I want porco to rail me till I pass out 💕 he'd be all smug later too, huh? 🥺

PHEW, that man is going to be so god damned smug about it. Having a hard time sleeping? Let him put your ass to sleep. He'd take every last bit of your energy from you. And he's absolutely gonna be smug about it. Man is gonna be so happy with himself once he hears those soft snores.

This was supposed to be a simple thirst post but it got a little out of hand and now it's so much longer AKDFNKSFSHSDFHS. 💀😂

Off To Sleep || P. Galliard x fem!Reader

Genre: 18+, smut, NSFW content, PWP

TW: x fem!Reader, unprotected sex, 18+ content, offensive language (swearing), dirty talk, teasing, fingering, pet names (doll, pretty girl, baby, darling), minors dni

Word Count: 1.1k

You're tossing and turning next to him. There haven't been too many times this week that he's been able to be home. He's spent most of his time with the warrior candidates lately which led to many nights where you had a hard time sleeping. You always had a hard time when he wasn't next to you. Not being able to feel his body lying with you was something that had always kept you up, that sense of security escaping when he wasn't there.

But even tonight you had been having a hard time sleeping. The fact that he was there next to you was doing absolutely nothing. The bed moved around next to you as he rolled over to his side, facing your back. His breath was warm on your neck as he leaned toward you. "Are you awake, doll?"

You took a deep breath, opening your eyes as you stared out the window. "Yeah. I'm awake. I haven't slept a wink yet."

Porco placed his hand on the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair. "I can tell. You're much too antsy. You're never like this." His touch felt safe as his fingers moved forward, down your hip, and over your thighs. "You want me to try to help you out darling?" He hummed in content when your body pushed back into him. "Cause I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you're ready for some help."

He pushed his hips forward into yours and chuckled deviously. Your thighs squeezed together on his hand as he got farther, his fingers slowly rubbing against the fabric of your panties. You whined softly, fighting back the urge to rock your hips against him. "P-Pock, fuck."

The satisfied sound that fell from his lips when he heard his nickname was like nothing you had ever heard him make. The way it sounded so magical, the way you sounded like you needed him so badly, the way he felt your slick pooling already through the thin material. "Go ahead and tell me what you want, yeah? I know you're waiting for me."

You pushed your hips back again, wiggling them against him for the friction. The way your hips moved so easily, so freely, it had his head spinning. His cock twitched against his sweatpants, a growl filling his chest as he grabbed onto you and pulled you back into the mattress.

Porco's figure hovered over your own, his hands gripping your hips as he captured your lips with his. His kiss was filthy and deep as he used his knee to push your legs apart. The friction of the bulge in his pants rubbing against your core sent shockwaves through your body, a smirk painting his face as you moaned against his lips.

"Mmmm, you like that baby girl. You like the way it feels when my cock pushes between those pretty legs of yours?" He ground his hips against you again, the wetness of your underwear hitting his sweatpants and leaving a small streak. "So wet already and I've barely even touched you. I guess I better use that to my advantage, huh?"

The sight of his hands moving toward the waistband of his sweatpants made another small whine come out. The way the veins in them bulged out, thoughts of the way that they look so perfect wrapped around your neck filling your head. As they pushed down his legs and his cock sprang free he leaned toward you, his hand pushing your panties to the side for him.

Porco lined himself up with your entrance, rubbing the tip of his cock around your core, watching your legs begin to tremble at the feel of it. "P-please, need more." You pushed your hips toward him, desperate to feel him inside you. "F-fill me. Porco, please."

The begging fueled him farther, his hips finally pushing fully forward. They snapped against your own, euphoria flooding you instantly as you felt your limbs starting to weaken. Every stroke of his cock against your walls was unimaginably blissful. You hung onto every grunt and groan that he gave you.

His fingers slid between your legs, rubbing circles on your clit as he pounded himself into you. The extra stimulation had you ready to come undone, the way his fingers moved so agonizingly slow made you want to cry. "You needed me that bad baby? Just can't wait until I fill your tight little hole up. Stuff you so full of my cum."

Every thrust of his hips made another moan escape you, sinful and lewd as you gripped his hips. Your nails dug into him, leaving welts as he sunk himself impossibly deeper into your cunt. Every single roll of his hips is long and deep, the tears now falling from your eyes as his assault on your sensitive bud continues. "My baby's gonna be nice and drunk on my cock, gonna sleep real nice when I'm done with you."

The squeeze of your walls makes his eyes flutter, his head dropping forward for you. "Fuck, I'm so close baby. So fucking close. Not much longer."

You gripped him tighter and shook your head. "Please, s'too good. Inside." The shaky, fucked out voice that you wore for him made him do a double-take, unsure if he heard your words right.

At the thought of being able to let loose in that perfect pussy of yours he nearly combusted on the spot. He's so fucking close, so god damned close to release that it's nearly painful. And he knew that you were too. He brushed his lips over yours and cooed softly. "You're so close darling, why don't you go ahead and let it go, huh? Wanna feel those tight walls milk my cock dry. Go on."

All it took was those words, the way they rolled off his tongue like they were nothing. Like he was just speaking normally. Your cunt clenched around him as praises fill his ears. "So good, fucking hell." Your nails dug into his back and pulled him toward you, your hips rocking at the same pace as his as you rode out your high.

Porco absolutely fell apart as your praises hit him, a strangled sound deep in his chest as he painted your walls white. He collapsed on top of you before rolling to his side and pulling you into him. You fought for breath and placed a hand on his bare chest, your entire body now weak as you closed your eyes. When you looked back up at him you saw the smug look that he wore, completely happy with himself as he saw just how heavy your eyes now were. "Now go ahead and get that ass off to sleep, pretty girl. I know you're ready for it."

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