#phineas black

[trappezoider]

A glimpse into my very Blaunt weekend.

[fanartandfanfiction]

Meatball on the run

@voxophile sent me this idea and it was HYSTERICAL so I wrote a little drabble about it. I made myself laugh writing this one. Enjoy!

“Do you have Meatball?” Ominis asked, coming into the dining area.

“Um, no, I thought YOU had him.” Melody replied.

“I thought YOU had him!”

“Uh oh, mom and dad have lost their child!” Sebastian teased.

“Shut it!” Melody jumped up.

“If someone finds him and they don’t know he’s harmless, they might kill him! We have to find him!”

They all turned their heads as they heard screaming coming from the staff table. 

Professor Garlick was screaming as Meatball slithered into her lap. Professor Ronen attempted to grab him with tongs and Meatball slithered down his legs. Ronen began jumping around on one foot, trying to shake him off. Meatball went flying and began slithering away and Professor Howin dove towards him. 

Professor Sharp had just entered and saw the chaos and began running. He saw Meatball and his eyes widened. “NO! NO, IT’S OK! HE’S A PET!” 

Ominis and Melody ran towards Meatball just as Professor Black was entering. Ominis heard Meatball gasp.

“HE’S THE BIGGEST SNAKE I’VE EVER SEEN!” He made a beeline for Professor Black who, upon seeing him, let out a blood curdling shriek and jumped into the arms of the closest person, which happened to be Madame Kogawa. 

“MEATBALL NO!” Melody dove towards him but Meatball was zooming towards Black and Kogawa. Kogawa threw him off of her and bolted. 

“FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND!” Meatball was enamored with the headmaster. 

Black was still screaming as Meatball reached him, and slithered up around his neck. 

“PHINEAS IT’S ALRIGHT, HE’S A PET!” Sharp screamed as Black rolled across the floor shrieking and trying to pry Meatball away from his neck. 

Meatball, upon seeing the group of people rushing towards him, attempted to hide. Unfortunately the place he chose was inside the headmaster’s jacket. 

Phineas’ screams went up an octave and Sharp ripped his jacket off. Meatball was terrified and disappeared once more.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” Professor Weasley screamed. 

It looked like a renaissance painting. Black was on the floor in the fetal position, with Sharp kneeling beside him holding the torn jacket. The staff table had been flipped in the chaos, Garlick and Ronen had ended up covered in food. Madame Kogawa was standing on a chair, Melody and Ominis had slipped in the spilled food and were on the floor, and Sebastian was trying to help them up. 

“SNAKE! THERE WAS A SNAKE!” Black screamed. 

“It’s alright, he’s harmless! He’s a pet!” Melody explained. 

His eyes snapped over to her. “YOU! Of course you’re involved in this! You’ve done nothing but cause trouble since you’ve gotten here! You are-“

“HE’S MINE!” Ominis shouted. “And as a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin, I’m entitled to have a snake as my pet! YOU upset him! I should call my father, and-“

“No, no, Mr. Gaunt! My apologies! He startled me!” Black was backpedaling. 

“Now you’ve frightened him and my beloved pet is missing!” 

“My sincerest apologies Mr. Gaunt!”

Melody snorted beside him and Black glared at her. 

“I’ll have you know Meatball wanted to meet you, he could tell you were a well-to-do Slytherin, and then you with your screaming and wailing scared him away! If my pet is not returned to me, I will-“

“We’ll find him right away, Mr. Gaunt! STAFF! FIND THE SNAKE! Find…Meatball?”

“Marinara. Meatball Marinara Gaunt.” Melody added.

“Right. We’ll find Meatball and return him to you at once.” He left the dining hall and Sharp stomped over and yanked Melody and Ominis off the ground with ease.

“Are you INSANE? Why would you let him do that?!”

“He escaped!” Melody protested. “We didn’t know where he was!” 

“I did hear him say that he liked Black. He said he was the biggest snake he’d ever seen.” Ominis smiled. 

“HA!” Melody laughed.

“ENOUGH!” Sharp shouted. “You’re lucky that Mr. Gaunt has an esteemed family or you’d both be expelled!” 

“Ha, you sounded like a spoiled brat.” Melody laughed.

“How about a you’re welcome for saving your ass?!” 

“Go. Find. The snake. NOW!” Sharp barked. 

“I’ll go see if he went home.” Ominis said. 

“I’ll check this floor.” Melody replied. 

“I’ll check my underwear because I laughed so hard I may have pissed myself.” Sebastian snorted. 

“I’ll check the dungeons. Now go.” Sharp demanded. 

“Phineas, it’s alright, they said he’s harmless!” Matilda was attempting to calm Professor Black down in his office. “Everyone is looking for him, we’ll find him in no time. How about I fix you a relaxing cup of tea?”

“Thank you, Matilda.” Phineas sighed and sat down at his desk. He had an extreme fear of snakes. His heart was still racing. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

Then a small tongue flicked across his hand.

Matilda dropped the teacup she was holding as Phineas let out a glass shattering scream. She sighed and cleaned it up. It was just another day at work. 

[kirain]

I got a lot of requests for more funny journal entries by Sharp, so I just made a whole bunch and threw them all together. Enjoy! 😅

[hoarding-niffler]

One of my favorite things about the Yule Ball is when the house head have to teach the students how to dance. While we have no idea who among the professors are the house heads, the idea of Sebastian being chosen to dance with the professor for the dance practice will never leave my mind.

Oh, I love this.

Considering how most who become Head of House are from the respective house themselves, I'd say that:

Mirabel Garlick is the Head of House for Hufflepuff. Needless to say, everyone is absolutely eager to dance with her and it's generally a very fun time. She's kind in her corrections when students step on her feet and quick to praise them when they get it right.

Dinah Hecat is the Head of House for Ravenclaw. People tend to underestimate her mobility and need to stop their jaws from crashing through the floor when she leads her students through a speedy and absolutely flawless waltz. She can be quite teasing during her lessons but always praises success.

Phineas Black would be the Head of House for Slytherin but he cannot be bothered to delay any of his vitally important tasks (read: naps) just to teach clumsy students to put one foot in front of another (he can't dance at all, everyone knows, but all of them play along because nobody wants to witness that disaster on the dance floor). He can't really delegate the task to Aesop Sharp; his injury prevents him from using his leg for extended periods of time and his movements are quite stiff. The dancing lessons fall to Abraham Ronen instead. It's awkward at first, but he's fun and takes the pressure off of his students immediately. His joy is contagious and soon enough people are eager to practice with him. He tends to tell anecdotes during those dance lessons.

While Matilda Weasley is the Head of House for Gryffindor, she and Eleazar Fig split the dance lessons. Both of them are quite busy and they will substitute for each other accordingly. Students generally prefer the Deputy Headmistress, just because she is more confident in her movements and knows exactly what to tell students to improve their performances. Eleazar Fig tends to be awkward about it; the only person he ever danced with was his wife Miriam and they had "their own style", which is to say, a sense of rhythm isn't really something he possesses. That being said, he tries his best and learns together with the students, which a lot of them find endearing.

[moonmaiden1996]

Dear Wife

Phineas Black x Reader A story requested by dear @snail-noodle Warning breeding kink.

Please leave a comment 

Requests Welcome!!!! The smutty the better!

You quickened your pace to fall in step with your husband. Phineas Black had always been highly strung, more so lately. He was far more prone to headaches and sleepless nights these days than in the first blissful days of your union. Phineas had given up a lot for you, been burnt from his family tree and taken up the Headmaster position at Hogwarts to allow you to marry finally and be safe away from his pureblood fanatic family.

Despite his more abrupt nature, you couldn't help but cast a worried look as his jaw clenched tightly as he pulled you down the dirt track. You noticed it at the Honeydukes when you bumped into your former schoolmate and her impressive brood of children and when you passed by the adorable baby wizard section in the tailors. Come to mention it, he had been like this when you sent him to visit Professor Weasely while her rather loud and noisy family invaded the castle during the Christmas break.

"My love, what is wrong." You panted as you struggled to keep pace in the ridiculously layered dress he had brought you.

"Nothing, my dear." He sighed, loosening his grip.

You fell into silence again as you passed the toyshop, filled with colour wood, as a bright rocking horse catching your attention.

"Ohh look, I had toys like that; I think I must have it somewhere; I think I would like to do it up like this… lots of ribbons…maybe if we have children one day, they could play with it." You cooed.

‘‘Do you mean it?’’ a quiet whimper asked from behind

"Mean what, my love?" you hummed.

"That you would like children one day."

"Oh yes", you mumbled absentmindedly, eyeing the ribbons you could use on your old rocking horse. "A whole gaggle of them, we could outdo the Weasley," you laughed as you straightened, hand poised to go in when it was snatched back.

Gasping, you stubbled as your husband pulled you towards the floo, swearing as he stared at the long line, dragging you passed it and up the footpath.

"Phineas! What on earth!...slow down…" You called as your husband slipped his arm around your waist to hurry you.  

Your questions fell on deaf ears as you were dragged along.

"Are you upset that I want children…I know we have never spoken about it, but if you don't want to we…" your spluttering was caught off by a strong, sound kiss.

"Oh, my perfect wife," He purred as he directly past the tree line, drapping you over a large smooth boulder. "you deserve far more than this, but I cannot wait. I need to be inside you." He growled, tugging at his jacket.

Wide-eyed, you stared at him as his silk jacket was thrown to the floor, waist coat strawn not far away from it, followed by his braces before his hands ripped at your bodice. Your body jerked at the force, but you said nothing as he tore away at your dress till it was left in tatters beneath you.

'Phineus.." you whimpered, cowering under his feral gaze.

"Oh, my dear wife, already glistening for me…I will fill you till you swell…' he groaned as he loosed his breeches, just enough for his straining member to escape as he climbed over you, wrapping your naked thighs around him as he plunged into you.

Arching near fully off the rough stone, you squealed at your husband's raw movements as he pounded into you.

You should be embarrassed at the lewd squelch as your wetness coated his cock, but you could barely care as a wave of pleasure washed over you, settling in the pit of your stomach as it built.

"Phineus…I…arghhh…please' you whimper as he pulled your hips up forward and rutted deeper into you, deeper than he had ever been.

"Oh, that in my darling, I can feel you fluttering around me, greedily girl, begging to make me a daddy. Don't worry, sweet wife; you will." He cooed into your ear as he moved over you.

The little grove was filled with growls and shrieks that poured out of both of you, the sound of slapping skin vibrating against the stones and trees.

"You are going to look so good carrying our child. I will have you ride me every day so that I can see your beautiful body swell." He grunted as his pace picked up, sending you hurtling to the edge.

"Oh, that's it, come for me, my love…I want that pussy ready to take my seed." He purred.

With one more drag of his cock against your walls, you came screaming, core tightening around him.

Limply you watched your husband's face contort in a wave of primal passion as your walls milked him for every ounce of his cum. You didn’t even have another strength to fight as his skilled fingers began to manipulate your clit, pulling another orgasm from you

‘’That it cum again, got to make sure you take all my seed.’’ He praised as you came with a violent whimper.

‘’It's okay, my love; let me take care of you.’’ He cooed before adding darkly. ‘’don’t worry; I'll keep you full till you start to swell.’’

[mad-badger19]

I really love the part of the game with Polyjuice Potion and Mitsugi enjoys it too.

I mean... Look at Garreth's face. However Mitsugi felt his heart ache at this moment but he needed to stay in character, as much as his acting talents could.

[d-lioncourt]

— Aesthetic: Phineas Nigellus Black —

"At the age of eleven, he began his schooling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he was Sorted into Slytherin House. He was once reprimanded by Dinah Hecat for having eaten a Sugar Quill in the middle of a lecture. Black's portrait in the Headmaster's office did not seem to enjoy assisting Albus Dumbledore, believing that he was eccentric and disagreeing with his pro-Muggle-born beliefs" — About his life.

[green-and-grey-kenaz]

The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and their relationship with Muggles

So I’ve got a small essay about the Black family and their surprisingly pro-muggle relations which all stemmed from me reading about their gas lights in Grimmauld Place. This is all research and musings of an evening so feel free to add or correct, anyone who finds this of interest.

Generally, the Black family is associated with looking down on muggles to the point of extreme hatred. We are given examples of family members who are disowned for marrying muggles, muggleborns and even supporting muggle rights. In one example, we are shown that one of their number wanted to make muggle hunting legal. Overall, it does not paint a particularly positive relationship.

However, it is curious to note that Grimmauld Place is stated to have been a muggle house, which the Black family coveted and managed to acquire. Now, while I doubt the muggles fared well out of this exchange, it is strange that someone in their family would find a muggle property so alluring that they went to the trouble of acquiring it when surely they already owned other properties in more wizard heavy areas. Another interesting muggle point is that 12 Grimmauld Place has gas lighting. Now, this is probably late 1800s for instalment (if we assume that wizards are not currently making old fashioned gas lights), which would put it at Phineas Nigellus Black’s time. It would suggest a surprisingly not anti-muggle outlook, which might explain why he became Headmaster at Hogwarts. It would be a strangely modern move (contemporary with muggles), but even if installed post their popularity in the muggle world, Grimmauld Place still appears to be shockingly modern and muggle in comparison to Hogwarts and potentially other wizarding homes such as the Malfoy’s Manner (or even the Burrow, which is described as being created/held together with magic).

Now, this could be fun to tie in to Sirius and his pro-muggle beliefs but the most interesting conclusion I find to this is revealed in Kreacher’s Tale where Regulus is stated to have wanted to bring wizards out of hiding and to rule over the muggles. This is rather more in keeping with Grindelwald’s ideology and rather juxtaposed to Voldemort’s actual results (although the Death Eater’s movements may have changed over time). It may even suggest a more positive (although by no means pro or supportive of) attitude towards muggles compared to other Death Eaters. In this light, Regulus’ betrayal of Voldemort might be seen as more than just a reaction to the Horcrux creation (and treatment of Kreacher?) but also of further ideological differences, which would certainly make sense considering the fact that during the first war, he was known to have gotten cold feet.

All in all, while seen from the outside, the Black family appears to be outdated, they may have been surprisingly modern by wizarding standards, choosing to live in the centre of a huge muggle environment, even at time adopting some of their technology. While they were certainly not pro muggle, their attitudes may have been somewhat different to that of the Death Eaters we see in the Harry Potter books. Their House, unlike many other wizarding families, may have seen a greater tug between tradition and innovation, potentially installing new fangled muggle lightning within the same generation as disowning family members for supporting muggle rights. It was a House struggling to survive to a rapidly changing world, which perhaps aided in its downfall.

[bellwood-qudditch]

Cygnus Black II

Faceclaim: Freddie Thorp

“The youngest son of Phineas Nigellus Black and Ursula Flint. The father of Pollux, Cassiopeia, Marius and Dorea and husband to Violetta Bulstrode”.

January 17th, 1889–January 31st, 1943

[trappezoider]

When Ava shows up at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, black fur tickling his reddened cheeks, Phineas nearly cries.

Their last time was rough. He couldn't straighten his back for days, scars sore and painful, arousal throbbing, ruination from withdrawals blurring his vision.

It was decided then, bare chests tear-stained, that it was enough. No more pain, no more pleasure, Phineas' or Ava's.

And yet he feels all for this boy.

[fanartandfanfiction]

Hogwarts Legacy modern AU (stolen from bob’s burgers)

Black: So MC. You’re in trouble again.

MC: Drink some cranberry juice.

Black: What? No, not urine trouble, YOU are in trouble!

MC: Why? What did I do?

Black: During a duel with Leander Prewett, you produced a fake eyeball and screamed he’d knocked it out of your head.

MC: Hilarious.

Black: You filled Duncan Hobhouse’s room with puffskeins.

MC: Do you have any idea how long that took?

Black: Your worst offense was telling Fig that DILF stood for “dignified intelligent leader figure.”

MC: That one was an innocent joke!

Black: He sent an email to a high ranking member of the ministry telling them they were a wonderful DILF.

MC: Oops.

[kirain]

Can you plz make a voice clip of Sharp being absolutely over it? 🙏

He's definitely over it.

[latineslytherin]

Anyway in less discoursey topics.

True to form, I think I’m gonna end up writing a fic about Phineas Nigellus Black because he seems as snarky and sarcastic and cantankerous as Snape. And I love that kinda shit. And he looks like such a dandy, I can’t help but love the aesthetic.

And then in the vein of loving Villains, Rookwood looks HELLA interesting too. I hope we learn more about him and his gang.

[sziroi]

I'm back with another Headmaster Black fanart!

And I'm just gonna leave it here silently.

If you played this mission, you know what's going on here.

I PRESENT TO YOU AN ORGINAL POSTER OF BUBOTUBER MOUSTACHE PASTE ADVERTISEMENT!

(+ a solo shirtless Black version for simps, enjoy.)

[an-dromedia]

me: i’m gonna write the next chapter of ghoul!

also me: spends 2 hours making the harry potter family tree to see the wreath that it is and it all leads back to phineas nigellus black 🫢

edit: here’s the link some of the dates on there are estimates but they should in at least in the right area

[rebeca-r]

Actually my friends and I have several fan theories regarding HP & HL universe… 😅

Me: Black needs a cure for boils? LOL. Do you think he’s got some veneral disease?

Friend 1: Or hemorrhoids.

Friend 2: Syphilis, definitely!

Me: I always thought he was exactly the kind of guy who'd go to whores... and behold, here's the proof!